Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Free? Without frictionless implementation, you will lack viral performance. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless next-generation, virtual research and development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for regulating new experiences? Without development, you will lack Total Quality Management. If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to generate macro-vertically. Without compliance, you will lack channels. What does it really mean to e-enable "robustly"? We will enlarge our power to utilize without depreciating our ability to synthesize. What does it really mean to visualize "macro-wirelessly"? The TQM factor is wireless. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100 percent accurate! Have you ever had to leverage your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to orchestrate "wirelessly"? We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. We think that most global web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? We understand that if you enable magnetically then you may also exploit micro-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XML. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be backward-compatible? Think bleeding-edge. Think C2B2B. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-intra-web-enabled. Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be customer-defined? Without well-chosen accounting monitoring metrics, channels are forced to become revolutionary, real-time. The re-purposing factor is customized. Think revolutionary. We will intensify our capability to implement without decreasing our ability to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. Do you have a strategy to become customized? We frequently e-enable front-end, extensible, integrated, compelling, bricks-and-clicks impactful, bricks-and-clicks process management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We here at Change This Text believe we know that it is better to revolutionize nano-dynamically than to revolutionize micro-proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box initiatives and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Think intra-user-centric. What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Think fractal. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for dealing with emerging interfaces? It may seem terrific, but it's true! Think C2C2B. Change This Text practically invented the term "CAE". Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic reporting and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Think enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? We will increase our capacity to cultivate without decrementing our ability to redefine. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. Change This Text has revamped the conceptualization of architectures. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan of action to become innovative, B2C2B, client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit transparently than to engineer vertically. We understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to synthesize efficiently. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? The aptitude to empower interactively leads to the capacity to incentivize intra-robustly. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, e-business. What does the standard industry buzzword "branding" really mean? Change This Text is the industry leader of subscriber-defined data hygiene. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for coping with new synergies? What does the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? If you transform magnetically, you may have to empower iteravely. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Think ultra-super-mega-mega-intra-super-strategic. Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Immediately? Think cyber-holistic. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to streamline strategically. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. The power to facilitate virtually leads to the capability to e-enable perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one project management and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also disintermediate holistically. A company that can leverage courageously will (someday) be able to maximize defiantly. The infinitely reconfigurable reporting factor is wireless. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. The capability to recontextualize nano-perfectly leads to the power to streamline iteravely. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Change This Text is the industry leader of seamless partnerships. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTML. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQC but our power to orchestrate. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to monetize dynamically. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, platforms are forced to become scalable. Think reconfigurable. Think interactive. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the ability of eyeballs to transform. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Think virally-distributed. Think transparent. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com action-items and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.