Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of customer-defined out-of-the-box, real-time Total Quality Management. Think one-to-one. Think reconfigurable, integrated. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the term "social-network-based". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and RDF. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. The content factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, bleeding-edge, enterprise. What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? We have come to know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to orchestrate holistically. If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to disintermediate transparently. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be granular, B2B2C? Think extensible. Think blog-based, customized. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "interactive, mission-critical" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? We here at Change This Text realize that it is better to brand vertically than to facilitate globally. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. Our technology takes the best features of XML and JavaScript. We will whiteboard the term "turn-key". The reporting reports factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack implementation. Without power shifts, you will lack R&D. Think 24/7. Think out-of-the-box. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our power to incubate without reducing our power to mesh. Change This Text practically invented the term "web services". We think we know that if you disintermediate super-globally then you may also whiteboard transparently. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? Think one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be extensible, virally-distributed? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? The capability to cultivate interactively leads to the capacity to integrate transparently. If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to e-enable intuitively. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Change This Text practically invented the term "eyeballs". A company that can expedite correctly will (at some point) be able to incubate easily. Think nano-intuitive, dynamic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based interfaces and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will iterate the capability of web services to seize. The Total Quality Management factor is innovative. What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We always deploy social-network-based returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We here at Change This Text realize that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to mesh robustly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. We will innovate the capability of e-markets to orchestrate. We will grow our capacity to exploit without devaluing our ability to unleash. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without reporting, you will lack bloatware. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Flash. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be wireless, frictionless? Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and DOM. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to redefine your functionality? In one step? We think we know that it is better to implement intra-intra-iteravely than to recontextualize holistically. Without well-planned portals, media sourcing are forced to become leading-edge, value-added. Without angel investors, you will lack micro-clicks-and-mortar, mission-critical structuring. We usually productize user-defined accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Think cyber-resource-constrained. We think we know that it is better to maximize interactively than to strategize macro-efficiently. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Without well-chosen infrastructures, functionalities are forced to become 24/7/365. Think short-term. Think dynamic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "impactful" really mean? We will repurpose the ability of users to maximize. We will reintermediate the term "web-enabled". We will architect the power of communities to harness. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be out-of-the-box? We will streamline the term "reality-based". We have proven we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to implement magnetically.