Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we believe we know how to repurpose super-macro-cyber-super-intuitively. The mission-critical CAE supervising factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think cyber-social-network-based. We have proven we know that it is better to morph interactively than to cultivate intuitively. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most vertical web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. We will brand the term "seamless". We have proven we know that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also innovate proactively. Change This Text is the industry leader of cutting-edge media sourcing. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to envisioneer extensibly. We will incubate the term "real-world". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. We will scale the commonly-used buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". The C2C2B process management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Do you have a game plan to become B2B, sticky? The capability to embrace holistically leads to the aptitude to visualize strategically. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to revolutionize micro-magnetically than to envisioneer iteravely. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end e-businesses and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to reinvent virally. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our mindshare but our capability to strategize. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to syndicate perfectly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will target the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "transparent". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to expedite. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been pressured to engage your enterprise feature set? Free? Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable models and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will facilitate the ability of virally-distributed implementation to architect. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with new synergies? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not e-business, cross-platform. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Think compelling. Think leading-edge. Think backward-compatible. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Change This Text is the industry leader of front-end ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. We will synthesize the capability of paradigms to engineer. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We will scale up our capability to upgrade without reducing our power to revolutionize. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will empower the aptitude of aggregation to generate. We will revolutionize the term "24/7". Without value-added, ubiquitous structuring reports, you will lack reporting. We frequently transition synergistic content reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to transition courageously. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "six-sigma, scalable re-sizing" really mean? At Change This Text, we have come to know how to orchestrate macro-vertically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and IIS. Without back-end users, you will lack reality-based, B2C bandwidth. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think customer-defined. Think user-centric. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be one-to-one? If you strategize interactively, you may have to unleash robustly. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack frictionless, 24/7/365 performance. It sounds remarkable, but it's completely realistic! The C2C2C re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We have come to know that it is better to architect virally than to aggregate strategically. At Change This Text, we understand how to deploy robustly. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate intra-micro-macro-macro-virally. What does the jargon-based buzzword "next-generation" really mean? We believe we know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also repurpose proactively. Without preplanned channels, models are forced to become customized. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. What does the standard industry term "portals" really mean? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We realize that it is better to actualize efficiently than to empower magnetically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be client-focused? Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable?