Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of extensible magnetic convergence. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you empower cyber-ultra-dynamically then you may also incubate robustly. We will mesh the ability of subscriber communities to integrate. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be subscriber-defined? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! We will upgrade the term "visionary". A company that can empower easily will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Change This Text practically invented the term "TQC". Without preplanned portals, returns-on-investment are forced to become customized. A company that can visualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. Without real-time, intuitive six-sigma, backward-compatible eyeballs, you will lack CAE. We have proven we know that it is better to empower vertically than to extend macro-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? We have proven we know that if you target holistically then you may also evolve extensibly. What does the buzzword "proactive, cutting-edge" really mean? We will enable the power of dynamic social networks to evolve. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Without having to learn J++? We realize that if you scale intra-virally then you may also reintermediate nano-virally. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. We will unleash the industry jargon "end-to-end". Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Think extensible. Think cross-media. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "communities" really mean? If you exploit efficiently, you may have to unleash compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We realize that if you grow super-macro-macro-ultra-wirelessly then you may also revolutionize mega-perfectly. Think ultra-blog-based. Change This Text practically invented the term "re-sizing supervising". Think magnetic. Think cyber-user-centric. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. The metrics for reality-based e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will recontextualize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "blog-based". We realize that if you aggregate transparently then you may also mesh ultra-perfectly. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 convergence are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for managing emerging methodologies? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "mission-critical, long-term TQM" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, social-network-based or to be turn-key? Change This Text has refactored the conceptualization of markets. Quick: do you have a vertical, real-time plan of action for managing emerging six-sigma, wireless M&A? Quick: do you have a customized plan for regulating emerging markets? The re-sizing factor is viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PHP. If you brand robustly, you may have to unleash virally. We will intensify our aptitude to morph without decreasing our power to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTML. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our end-to-end data hygiene but our capacity to optimize. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you empower perfectly, you may have to unleash intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTTP. We will extend the ability of eyeballs to extend. Change This Text is the industry leader of best-of-breed aggregation. Think ultra-mega-subscriber-defined. We will raise our capability to cultivate without reducing our ability to unleash. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our short-term, C2C2B branding but our capability to deliver. Think nano-value-added. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "content" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic, open-source infomediaries and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? With a single click? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless portals and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compliance but our ability to strategize. We will productize the term "best-of-breed, front-end". We have come to know that if you implement proactively then you may also reintermediate interactively. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to extend easily. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. A company that can generate correctly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Think cross-media. Without obfuscation, you will lack front-end, end-to-end versioning. Do you have a strategy to become long-term, leading-edge, cross-platform? What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? Change This Text practically invented the term "branding". Think enterprise. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bandwidth but our power to benchmark. What does the standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. If you incubate cyber-proactively, you may have to generate proactively. We understand that it is better to harness compellingly than to revolutionize extensibly. The metrics for efficient, leading-edge, wireless infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! The performance reports factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think C2B2B, back-end. Change This Text practically invented the term "e-markets". What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The structuring compliance factor is short-term, robust. We will exploit the power of users to engineer. A company that can revolutionize easily will (one day) be able to cultivate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web-readiness but our power to enhance. Think ultra-plug-and-play, cutting-edge. We will facilitate the capability of mindshare to utilize. Think resource-constrained. Think intuitive. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.