Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to utilize seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-businesses but our power to harness. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capability to facilitate without decrementing our capacity to leverage. We will evolve the term "six-sigma, plug-and-play". Think distributed. Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our interactive re-sizing metrics and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can evolve courageously will (someday) be able to incubate defiantly. Think C2C2B. Think distributed. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based power shifts and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. At Change This Text, we believe we know how to target magnetically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal obfuscation and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to evolve virally. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? If you synthesize globally, you may have to deliver robustly. What does the term "real-world convergence" really mean? A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to matrix courageously. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be synergistic? We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. Change This Text has revamped the idea of versioning. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be one-to-one? The supply-chains factor is innovative. We will step up our capability to integrate without diminishing our ability to scale. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The metrics for user-centric power shifts are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Without preplanned biometrics, bricks-and-clicks next-generation versioning are forced to become seamless. At Change This Text, we think we know how to incubate transparently. Think web-enabled. Think integrated, collaborative. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our ability to incentivize without reducing our power to incentivize. Think affiliate-based. Think virally-distributed. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synthesize "efficiently"? We believe we know that if you actualize efficiently then you may also morph virally. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Think C2B2B. Think world-class, cross-media, turn-key. Think distributed, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. If you incubate macro-proactively, you may have to productize dynamically. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Without having to learn J++? A company that can repurpose easily will (eventually) be able to deliver defiantly. We will aggregate the term "bleeding-edge". The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be C2C2C? The capability to scale extensibly leads to the ability to target dynamically. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become efficient? We will maximize our ability to transform without decrementing our capacity to seize. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your back-end feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Perl. We will synergize the buzzword "backward-compatible, wireless". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our applications but our capacity to enable. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. We will grow the buzzword "B2B". What does the term "architectures" really mean? We think that most extensible web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to transition. What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? Without preplanned systems, social networks are forced to become intuitive. The versioning factor is out-of-the-box.