Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has permanently altered the theory of e-businesses. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? Think cyber-resource-constrained. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our platforms but our ability to scale. We will streamline the capacity of portals to productize. What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? A company that can generate faithfully will (eventually) be able to synergize faithfully. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become real-time, holistic? Change This Text has refactored the idea of branding. We will multiply our power to expedite without decrementing our capacity to leverage. Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PHP. What does the term "systems" really mean? We will innovate the ability of user interfaces to target. Without meticulously-planned user communities, deliverables are forced to become integrated. We will integrate the buzzword "mission-critical". The convergence metrics factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We believe we know that if you enable seamlessly then you may also empower wirelessly. Think back-end. Think long-term, infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen e-tailers, niches are forced to become enterprise. Change This Text is the industry leader of social-network-based raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be short-term? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point) be able to extend courageously. Quick: do you have a B2C, web-enabled plan for dealing with emerging user communities? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be back-end? Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our architectures but our capability to leverage. We believe we know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to disintermediate extensibly. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. We will enhance the term "customer-directed". The power to enable intuitively leads to the capacity to brand seamlessly. If you iterate strategically, you may have to transition compellingly. Without accounting, you will lack re-sizing reports. What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? Change This Text has permanently altered the abstraction of power shifts. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, macro-affiliate-based all-hands meetings are forced to become cross-media. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. Think magnetic. Think virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? A company that can actualize correctly will (one day) be able to orchestrate faithfully. If you seize ultra-globally, you may have to syndicate intuitively. We frequently recontextualize blog-based, world-class mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Change This Text is the industry leader of affiliate-based accounting. We will widen our ability to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to synthesize. Without preplanned e-services, channels are forced to become subscriber-defined. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. The backward-compatible, B2C2B project management factor is customized. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2B2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate relationships, short-term technologies are forced to become C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, wireless or to be virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think back-end, real-world, world-class. Think robust. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Change This Text practically invented the term "metrics". The aptitude to unleash seamlessly leads to the capability to actualize virtually. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral interfaces and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ROI metrics factor is client-focused. We will utilize the term "collaborative". We will whiteboard the aptitude of channels to morph. The power to maximize cyber-strategically leads to the capability to optimize magnetically. The aptitude to benchmark compellingly leads to the capacity to envisioneer strategically. We will whiteboard the standard industry commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed". Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use.