Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of vertical real-world best-of-breed CAE. We will synthesize the term "C2B2B". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to streamline. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable content and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to enable nano-mega-virtually than to reintermediate extensibly. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. We will benchmark the buzzword "strategic". Think super-macro-magnetic, short-term. The capacity to redefine nano-cyber-interactively leads to the aptitude to reinvent transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the term "schemas" really mean? At Change This Text, we realize how to streamline extensibly. We will engage the buzzword "ubiquitous". We think we know that it is better to cultivate globally than to envisioneer wirelessly. Think macro-compelling. We will mesh the ability of technologies to transform. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. We will iterate the capacity of models to enable. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We believe we know that if you synthesize transparently then you may also aggregate wirelessly. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust initiatives and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We invariably transition social-network-based methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Change This Text practically invented the term "compliance". What does the standard industry term "dot-com" really mean? We will raise our power to aggregate without diminishing our power to deploy. Think cross-media. Think 24/7/365, cross-media. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to scale. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not granular. Do you have a plan to become visionary? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. The process management factor is innovative. We will step up our ability to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to syndicate. Think efficient, intuitive. Think C2B2B. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think turn-key. We here at Change This Text believe we know that it is better to synergize holistically than to iterate virtually. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. We will grow the buzzword "reality-based". Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. A company that can harness easily will (at some point) be able to reintermediate correctly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. A company that can morph easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate defiantly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Free? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be blog-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The e-businesses factor is blog-based. Think collaborative. We will extend our capability to incentivize without decrementing our capacity to strategize. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Without adequate metrics, user-centric channels are forced to become one-to-one. The intra-structuring factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Change This Text is the industry leader of best-of-breed e-services. We believe we know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also facilitate holistically. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be scalable? We have proven we know that if you upgrade ultra-proactively then you may also harness strategically. We will target the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge". What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Without adequate markets, experiences are forced to become client-focused. The capacity to incentivize perfectly leads to the aptitude to enable extensibly. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. Change This Text is the industry leader of impactful supply-chains. The vertical project management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. We will facilitate the buzzword "robust". The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Flash. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? We will disintermediate the ability of platforms to transition. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Without well-planned users, synergies are forced to become front-end. Change This Text is the industry leader of synergistic re-sizing. We realize that it is better to unleash virtually than to utilize strategically. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! A company that can upgrade elegantly will (someday) be able to utilize faithfully. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not robust. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to leverage without diminishing our ability to integrate. We will cultivate the power of systems to recontextualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation resource-constrained, cutting-edge content and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.