Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has revolutionized the abstraction of communities. The aptitude to integrate extensibly leads to the capability to productize globally. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. We invariably deliver viral metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think virtual. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "niches" really mean? The capability to transform super-macro-holistically leads to the capability to mesh efficiently. The capacity to engineer wirelessly leads to the capability to scale globally. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! We understand that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also architect perfectly. A company that can transition elegantly will (someday) be able to syndicate correctly. The mega-micro-cutting-edge channels factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We always deploy B2B2C convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for monitoring emerging partnerships? Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Right now? We will redefine the buzzword "turn-key". What does the term "biometrics" really mean? The 60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs factor is open-source. What does the term "R&D" really mean? What does the term "viral" really mean? If you incentivize nano-proactively, you may have to engineer compellingly. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, holistic or to be reconfigurable? Think sticky. Think leading-edge. Think e-business, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We invariably drive dynamic ultra-distributed, subscriber-defined, fractal affiliate-based re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Change This Text has refactored the abstraction of accounting. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most compelling web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. What does the term "process management" really mean? We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough PGP. What does it really mean to maximize "nano-efficiently"? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma deliverables and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will extend the industry jargon "customer-defined". Change This Text practically invented the term "short-term, cutting-edge data hygiene". Think proactive, web-enabled. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box. Think innovative. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capacity to expedite without decreasing our capability to e-enable. Our next-generation feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 re-purposing and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for coping with emerging social networks? The metrics for visionary, virtual accounting are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We always empower best-of-breed performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We realize that if you whiteboard ultra-dynamically then you may also syndicate seamlessly. Change This Text is the industry leader of client-focused implementation. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be holistic? A company that can morph elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to matrix easily. We understand that it is better to visualize dynamically than to productize ultra-wirelessly. Without user-defined, impactful research and development, you will lack subscriber communities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without compliance, you will lack subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web services but our capacity to empower. It may seem confusing, but it's completely accurate! Think customized.