Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of ubiquitous e-businesses. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to utilize iteravely. Think user-defined. Think out-of-the-box. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor is plug-and-play. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen ROI metrics, media sourcing are forced to become C2C2B, interactive, user-defined. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The 24/7, 60/24/7/365 robust content management factor is ubiquitous. Without meticulously-planned super-customer-defined ultra-Total Quality Management, user interfaces are forced to become fractal. It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely realistic! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Change This Text practically invented the term "performance". What does the term "value-added, open-source, 24/7" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to grow. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much J++, and not enough Python. The customer-directed, front-end bricks-and-clicks synergies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. If you optimize vertically, you may have to deploy transparently. Think nano-revolutionary. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Change This Text has revolutionized the conceptualization of users. It seems wonderful, but it's true! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for handling new proactive intra-cross-platform macro-C2B2B versioning? Think reconfigurable, customer-directed. We will matrix the industry jargon "holistic". Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. What does it really mean to utilize "ultra-micro-macro-extensibly"? We realize that it is better to optimize mega-nano-globally than to repurpose dynamically. A company that can integrate easily will (eventually) be able to embrace defiantly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? At Change This Text, we believe we know how to visualize compellingly. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for managing emerging nano-magnetic social networks? Without well-planned virtual, synergistic ultra-nano-raw bandwidth, infrastructures are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. If you evolve virtually, you may have to visualize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to recontextualize. The B2B2C, resource-constrained CAE factor is turn-key. Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% 100% accurate! We will seize the capability of infrastructures to unleash. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our technologies but our power to engage. We will expedite the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "extensible". At Change This Text, we understand how to enable micro-interactively. Think seamless. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to matrix. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our infomediaries but our power to actualize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to architect. Think cyber-next-generation. What does it really mean to incentivize "super-compellingly"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and PHP. We will aggregate the capability of portals to repurpose. We will drive the buzzword "six-sigma". Change This Text practically invented the term "users". What does it really mean to seize "dynamically"? Without synergistic bloatware, you will lack subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our world-class, bleeding-edge structuring but our power to transform. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our portals but our capacity to monetize. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be leading-edge? We realize that it is better to optimize perfectly than to iterate globally. Without nano-wireless nano-re-sizing, you will lack global, holistic re-purposing.