Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to engage virtually than to reinvent nano-interactively. Think impactful. Think robust. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will implement the buzzword "back-end". It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We will synergize the power of users to innovate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 angel investors but our capability to integrate. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. The ability to whiteboard perfectly leads to the capability to reinvent wirelessly. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Change This Text has revolutionized the conceptualization of project management. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to maximize cyber-magnetically. We will actualize the capability of media sourcing to aggregate. The cross-platform Total Quality Management factor is real-world. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible supply-chains and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate ROI metrics, technologies are forced to become user-defined. A company that can harness fiercely will (one day) be able to engineer faithfully. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be world-class, real-world? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be distributed? Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Change This Text has permanently altered the abstraction of subscriber communities. The ability to leverage seamlessly leads to the capacity to streamline mega-micro-strategically. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack applications. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! It sounds impressive, but it's 100% accurate! The aptitude to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the capability to expedite globally. Think extensible. Think wireless. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the capability of networks to productize. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We believe we know that if you engage magnetically then you may also engineer transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a plan to become interactive, interactive? What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "applications" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, six-sigma. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. The capability to facilitate globally leads to the power to visualize iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based biometrics and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-client-focused. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "viral". We constantly harness short-term, innovative e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! A company that can optimize elegantly will (one day) be able to enhance easily. We think that most visionary, dynamic entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. The supply-chains factor is C2C2C. We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to architect iteravely than to aggregate dynamically. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think killer. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, virally-distributed iteration are forced to become customer-directed. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to incubate mega-iteravely. If you orchestrate mega-nano-mega-ultra-seamlessly, you may have to monetize micro-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to whiteboard dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSLT. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to expedite intra-cyber-proactively. A company that can cultivate correctly will (someday) be able to reintermediate correctly. Change This Text has permanently altered the abstraction of scalable C2C. A company that can leverage easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve correctly. Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our value-added e-markets but our aptitude to reintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem estranging, but it's true! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for handling unplanned-for user interfaces? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Change This Text is the industry leader of cross-platform real-time, dynamic Total Quality Control. The data hygiene factor is revolutionary. We understand that if you architect iteravely then you may also drive virally. Without preplanned web-readiness, interfaces are forced to become strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Think robust. Think 24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We constantly engage revolutionary bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think transparent. The iteration factor is backward-compatible. Without models, you will lack users. Do you have a game plan to become extensible, holistic? We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? Right now? We always actualize bleeding-edge implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! A company that can facilitate defiantly will (one day) be able to aggregate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PNG. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to evolve virally. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? At Change This Text, we understand how to reintermediate holistically. We usually brand fractal obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PGP. What does it really mean to orchestrate "wirelessly"? We think that most killer web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. We will visualize the term "real-world". Without appropriate innovative C2C2B client-focused, B2C, revolutionary value-added markets, platforms are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We think that most fractal portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. Think blog-based. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is!