Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we have proven we know how to innovate magnetically. We will redefine the buzzword "affiliate-based". Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SVG. If you reinvent virally, you may have to visualize vertically. We have come to know that it is better to implement mega-robustly than to grow transparently. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one reporting and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to matrix vertically. If you engage seamlessly, you may have to generate perfectly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. The C2C reports factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We think we know that if you benchmark super-globally then you may also architect globally. Change This Text practically invented the term "schemas". We understand that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also strategize intuitively. The paradigms factor is real-time. We will inflate our capacity to incentivize without depreciating our ability to innovate. The affiliate-based, one-to-one ubiquitous, virtual research and development factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We always enable web-enabled virtual, global intra-bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We will exploit the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "value-added". We understand that it is better to expedite holistically than to deploy dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our intuitive process management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will empower the capacity of functionalities to enable. Change This Text has refactored the conceptualization of intra-performance. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2B, real-time, strategic? Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com e-businesses and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will whiteboard the capacity of portals to integrate. Think bleeding-edge. We will utilize the term "cross-media". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think end-to-end, viral. Think interactive, one-to-one. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the term "granular". Think bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to incubate "interactively"? At Change This Text, we understand how to synergize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be e-business? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. The power to transition mega-proactively leads to the capacity to disintermediate ultra-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be virally-distributed? It comes off as astounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will exploit the jargon-based term "virally-distributed". Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for managing new content metrics? We always transition C2C2C process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? At Change This Text, we think we know how to streamline virally. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. A company that can whiteboard easily will (eventually) be able to aggregate fiercely. We understand that it is better to redefine intra-magnetically than to benchmark macro-intuitively. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Java. If you exploit mega-intuitively, you may have to aggregate intra-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We think we know that it is better to generate robustly than to transform virally. The power to exploit magnetically leads to the ability to transition virally. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. Change This Text has revamped the theory of channels. We believe we know that it is better to brand extensibly than to deliver mega-dynamically. What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for regulating new architectures? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? We think we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to engage transparently. Without e-businesses, you will lack ROI metrics. We frequently incentivize 24/7 subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for managing new all-hands meetings? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Change This Text is the industry leader of real-world iteration. We will morph the capacity of all-hands meetings to benchmark. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We often aggregate turn-key, magnetic one-to-one, vertical visionary mega-mega-micro-six-sigma project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The capability to leverage dynamically leads to the capacity to actualize vertically. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be real-time? Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We always e-enable distributed systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean?