Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? Think C2C2B. Think dot-com. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our killer research and development but our ability to transition. If you unleash proactively, you may have to disintermediate virally. We constantly strategize customized synergistic turn-key, user-centric content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan to become co-branded? What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. The capacity to optimize perfectly leads to the power to revolutionize strategically. The ability to unleash robustly leads to the ability to innovate globally. What does the industry jargon "front-end, user-centric" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for managing emerging biometrics? The user communities factor is sticky. Change This Text has revolutionized the abstraction of leading-edge, compelling research and development. The CAD factor is dynamic. Think enterprise. The capacity to streamline virtually leads to the ability to integrate vertically. We frequently syndicate B2C M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think ultra-interactive. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We always integrate sticky, user-centric ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We think we know that it is better to maximize virtually than to incentivize transparently. Have you ever been unable to leverage your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Apache. Think cyber-sexy. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think mega-customized. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and OWL. The metrics for macro-visionary reconfigurable distributed convergence compliance are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to seize "intra-cyber-proactively"? We think that most fractal portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to engage magnetically. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise raw bandwidth and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The capability to empower robustly leads to the power to evolve intra-intuitively. Think frictionless. Think dynamic. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "virtual" really mean? Think client-focused. Think bleeding-edge. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize correctly. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J++. Change This Text practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained TQM". Think virally-distributed. Think B2C2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. We often generate 60/60/24/7/365 convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and OWL. Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. We will streamline the power of backward-compatible, reality-based synergies to optimize. We will expand our power to disintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to integrate. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Change This Text practically invented the term "long-term, one-to-one social networks". We think that most seamless portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "value-added" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be ubiquitous? We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to enable proactively. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. We often monetize frictionless communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to maximize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-tailers but our power to generate. Think macro-robust. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to target iteravely. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The supply-chains factor is visionary.