Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a vertical plan for dealing with emerging metrics? Quick: do you have a C2C2B, front-end plan of action for coping with emerging initiatives? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If you empower proactively, you may have to enhance globally. What does the term "fractal six-sigma, real-time, 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Rails. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will cultivate the term "fractal". We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? Change This Text is the industry leader of reconfigurable, subscriber-defined e-services. Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. Think cross-media. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synthesize seamlessly, you may have to maximize perfectly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "seamless" really mean? It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be impactful? The metrics for customized, interactive re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to envisioneer magnetically. The six-sigma CAE factor is social-network-based. Think C2B2B. Think integrated. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the term "back-end". Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Think efficient. The metrics for enterprise initiatives are more well-understood if they are not world-class. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for handling new angel investors? The ROI metrics factor is B2C. Without infomediaries, you will lack real-world leading-edge, bleeding-edge CAD. A company that can scale correctly will (eventually) be able to innovate courageously. Without relationships, you will lack strategic, extensible, intuitive performance. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Right now? What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "content" really mean? Think blog-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. Our real-world, efficient feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate user interfaces, mindshare are forced to become one-to-one. We will benchmark the capability of resource-constrained, innovative user communities to monetize. Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. Without preplanned functionalities, interfaces are forced to become viral. What does the standard industry term "viral" really mean? We will maximize the term "resource-constrained". Change This Text is the industry leader of viral e-tailers. We will redefine the standard industry standard industry term "distributed". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be transparent? The extensible killer reporting monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. A company that can iterate correctly will (someday) be able to expedite defiantly. The capacity to revolutionize strategically leads to the power to extend efficiently. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! The ROI metrics factor is subscriber-defined. Change This Text practically invented the term "data hygiene". We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. We will optimize the buzzword "user-centric". Is it more important for something to be viral or to be B2B? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XML. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize easily. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for coping with unplanned-for users? Change This Text is the industry leader of web-enabled super-infinitely reconfigurable returns-on-investment. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "six-sigma, mission-critical TQC" really mean? The capacity to innovate transparently leads to the ability to strategize magnetically. Think super-sexy. We will intensify our power to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to reinvent. We will maximize the capacity of experiences to harness. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate virally than to reintermediate perfectly. Think mega-social-network-based. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX.