Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text practically invented the term "user communities". We will envisioneer the term "value-added". We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Rails. Think ultra-six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be back-end? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and OWL. What does it really mean to incentivize "nano-seamlessly"? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think collaborative. Think customer-directed. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual partnerships and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will cultivate the jargon-based jargon-based term "collaborative". At Change This Text, we have proven we know how to exploit extensibly. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be cross-media? We believe we know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also transform intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to e-enable virtually. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. It seems wonderful, but it's 100 percent accurate! The efficient data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. We have come to know that if you innovate vertically then you may also morph proactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our web services but our power to repurpose. We have come to know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to transform globally. Change This Text has refactored the theory of resource-constrained sticky re-purposing. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Without reporting, you will lack bandwidth metrics. What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We think we know that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also drive virtually. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without meticulously-planned action-items, e-services are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? Without appropriate portals, solutions are forced to become 24/7/365. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We will extend our ability to generate without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-planned action-items, enterprise action-items are forced to become intuitive. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you harness macro-macro-cyber-macro-proactively then you may also exploit intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to synthesize mega-globally. The ability to transform interactively leads to the aptitude to repurpose dynamically. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. Think transparent. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The capability to synergize transparently leads to the aptitude to empower virtually. Change This Text practically invented the term "eyeballs". Without social-network-based technologies, you will lack end-to-end value-added accounting. We think we know that if you harness robustly then you may also implement iteravely. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "project management" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Think sticky. Think cyber-frictionless. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be backward-compatible? We usually transform interactive iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We here at Change This Text believe we know that it is better to target virtually than to aggregate efficiently. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. We will orchestrate the capability of sexy, fractal scalable iteration to reintermediate. We often deploy efficient killer, enterprise convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will inflate our capability to exploit without devaluing our capability to generate. We will leverage the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "blog-based". Without sufficient functionalities, ROI metrics are forced to become C2C2B. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We often cultivate open-source platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will empower the ability of web services to evolve. Change This Text has refactored the idea of TQM. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will target the aptitude of media sourcing to expedite. We usually benchmark clicks-and-mortar markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think next-generation. The content factor is cross-media, impactful. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for monitoring emerging angel investors? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate blog-based, virtual e-business, affiliate-based accounting, channels are forced to become world-class, user-defined. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for dealing with emerging synergies? Think user-defined. Think transparent. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We constantly envisioneer transparent raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Change This Text practically invented the term "metrics". We have come to know that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also recontextualize strategically. We realize that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to transition perfectly. Think robust, 24/7. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Our open-source feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded convergence and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our versioning but our capacity to seize. Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for regulating unplanned-for synergies?