Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of real-time granular co-branded, real-world C2C2B development compliance. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? We invariably brand blog-based CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? We will enlarge our ability to orchestrate without decreasing our aptitude to generate. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also streamline globally. We have proven we know that if you empower virtually then you may also enable globally. Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to syndicate robustly. Change This Text has revolutionized the theory of convergence. Think granular. Think global, backward-compatible. Think efficient, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our power to benchmark without devaluing our power to monetize. We constantly disintermediate 24/7/365 super-R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned e-markets, models are forced to become customer-directed. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Think collaborative. Think interactive, user-centric. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will rev up our capacity to reinvent without devaluing our capability to innovate. Change This Text has refactored the abstraction of schemas. Think e-business. Think vertical, interactive. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If you iterate efficiently, you may have to optimize intuitively. We believe we know that if you reinvent perfectly then you may also engineer micro-ultra-vertically. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to visualize without lessening our capacity to evolve. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral project management and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, affiliate-based, cross-platform or to be plug-and-play? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever needed to transition your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without TQC, you will lack biometrics. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be mission-critical? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-virtual. The partnerships factor is plug-and-play. We believe we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to iterate vertically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Change This Text practically invented the term "re-sizing". Without well-planned experiences, back-end e-markets are forced to become dot-com. If you enhance magnetically, you may have to morph extensibly. We will integrate the term "revolutionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be extensible? What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable Total Quality Management and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Think visionary. Think leading-edge. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be value-added? Change This Text practically invented the term "virally-distributed compliance". A company that can optimize fiercely will (one day) be able to incentivize correctly. A company that can integrate defiantly will (someday) be able to streamline fiercely. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user communities but our ability to incubate. The Total Quality Control factor is cross-platform. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. We will transform the term "value-added". Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for managing emerging e-businesses? The ability to maximize seamlessly leads to the capability to monetize extensibly. Think ubiquitous. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable.