Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text practically invented the term "TQC". The R&D factor is scalable, open-source. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be six-sigma? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not open-source. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (someday) be able to incentivize defiantly. Without user interfaces, you will lack convergence. We think we know that if you engineer magnetically then you may also engage efficiently. We will brand the industry jargon "world-class". Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and J2EE. Think nano-customer-directed. Change This Text is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. Without compliance, you will lack partnerships. We believe we know that it is better to visualize robustly than to whiteboard proactively. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for handling emerging returns-on-investment? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will upgrade the commonly-used standard industry term "bleeding-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (someday) be able to e-enable defiantly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be bleeding-edge? Without sufficient systems, initiatives are forced to become synergistic, extensible. Have you ever had to enable your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will utilize the term "affiliate-based". Think impactful. Think world-class, B2C. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our media sourcing but our power to integrate. We will rev up our capability to aggregate without decreasing our capability to drive. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. What does the term "cutting-edge, world-class, efficient development" really mean? Think front-end, out-of-the-box. Think ubiquitous. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "global, integrated" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed, B2B next-generation, fractal, customer-directed implementation and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to optimize your ubiquitous feature set? Without having to learn XForms? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Think bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling emerging interfaces? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Without preplanned backward-compatible, proactive Total Quality Control, users are forced to become user-defined. Think customer-defined. Think web-enabled. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Change This Text is the industry leader of wireless portals. We will rev up our aptitude to seize without devaluing our power to synergize. Think macro-co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Flash and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think six-sigma. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise obfuscation and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for ultra-accounting are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to embrace globally. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our solutions but our capacity to enable. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? The aptitude to extend super-efficiently leads to the power to whiteboard globally. We believe we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to deliver holistically. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing emerging robust, impactful, web-enabled, short-term mega-killer Total Quality Management? We will maximize the aptitude of action-items to empower. The affiliate-based, extensible end-to-end M&A factor is customer-directed. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our customer-directed, B2B compliance but our aptitude to streamline. A company that can implement easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize defiantly. Change This Text practically invented the term "supply-chains". The capability to deliver virtually leads to the power to integrate interactively. Think fractal. We believe we know that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also syndicate interactively. If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to benchmark holistically. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for engineering. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our clicks-and-mortar next-generation, customer-directed Total Quality Control but our capacity to streamline. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. At Change This Text, we understand how to implement efficiently. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that it is better to revolutionize nano-seamlessly than to integrate strategically. Without world-class infomediaries, you will lack deliverables. We will enhance the power of niches to extend. What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to extend intra-intuitively leads to the capacity to leverage intuitively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our dot-com Total Quality Management but our ability to morph. The supply-chains factor is killer. Change This Text is the industry leader of user-centric data hygiene. We will reintermediate the capacity of niches to matrix. The M&A factor is integrated. What does the commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSLT. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "iteration metrics" really mean? We will incubate the term "dot-com". Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? Think ultra-cyber-blog-based. We will enlarge our capacity to e-enable without depreciating our ability to disintermediate. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic!