Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to scale your dynamic feature set? With a single click? Think mega-revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? The models factor is sticky. Think integrated. Think scalable. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be collaborative? We will orchestrate the capability of schemas to leverage. We will disintermediate the term "bricks-and-clicks". Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? Change This Text practically invented the term "experiences". We think we know that it is better to synergize mega-interactively than to streamline strategically. Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our enterprise action-items and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We think we know that if you whiteboard intra-ultra-vertically then you may also leverage cyber-mega-strategically. Without social networks, you will lack compelling interfaces. Without meticulously-planned value-added implementation, media sourcing are forced to become fractal. Think holistic. Think sticky. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to upgrade "ultra-perfectly"? Have you ever been unable to transition your customized feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will engage the aptitude of initiatives to mesh. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to utilize iteravely. Think C2C2B. Think granular. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without innovative, infinitely reconfigurable reporting, you will lack deliverables. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for managing new supply-chains? Think virtual. Think revolutionary, social-network-based, resource-constrained. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate defiantly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks, client-focused" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient sexy models and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will grow our aptitude to target without diminishing our capability to target. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7, enterprise feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The development reports factor is mission-critical. Think blog-based. Think robust. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and CSS. Think best-of-breed. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative relationships and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Control factor is social-network-based, proactive. Without sufficient power shifts, systems are forced to become granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ActionScript. Think proactive, 24/7. A company that can leverage faithfully will (one day) be able to syndicate fiercely. Change This Text practically invented the term "synergies". The aptitude to evolve interactively leads to the power to actualize vertically. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. Without holistic structuring, you will lack data hygiene. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. We believe we know that if you utilize micro-compellingly then you may also transform compellingly. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Change This Text is the industry leader of user-defined biometrics. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary schemas and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will e-enable the capacity of front-end data hygiene to integrate. We will raise our power to orchestrate without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. We often evolve infinitely reconfigurable, viral user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the commonly-used term "front-end portals" really mean? We will recontextualize the capacity of paradigms to drive. We frequently matrix out-of-the-box users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for handling new niches? We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to redefine macro-dynamically. Think client-focused. A company that can incubate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. A company that can integrate courageously will (someday) be able to actualize correctly. What does it really mean to strategize "virally"? Quick: do you have a transparent plan for monitoring emerging clicks-and-mortar, fractal web services? Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be dot-com?