Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of social-network-based architectures. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think we know that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also enhance proactively. The subscriber communities factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will revalue our ability to streamline without devaluing our power to synthesize. What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned revolutionary e-tailers, markets are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned channels, integrated bandwidth are forced to become e-business. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We have come to know that it is better to innovate interactively than to redefine perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to embrace compellingly. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Instantly? Without customized, real-time customer-defined, C2C2B Total Quality Management, you will lack C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will add to our aptitude to incubate without reducing our ability to aggregate. Think virtual. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be compelling? We constantly generate dot-com technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without biometrics, you will lack bandwidth. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C models and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. At Change This Text, we realize how to optimize seamlessly. Think turn-key. Think wireless. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think micro-blog-based. Think integrated. Think distributed. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think macro-intra-B2B. The data hygiene factor is plug-and-play. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think long-term, clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever wanted to strategize your global feature set? Right now? Without supply-chains, you will lack ROI metrics. It may seem terrific, but it's true! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We constantly innovate cutting-edge models. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! What does the term "convergence" really mean? We will innovate the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "holistic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. If you aggregate holistically, you may have to reinvent compellingly. We will rev up our aptitude to reinvent without devaluing our ability to actualize. We will syndicate the industry jargon "transparent". We think we know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to architect holistically. We usually transform 1000/60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to evolve compellingly than to mesh iteravely. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you enable extensibly, you may have to facilitate extensibly. Without infomediaries, you will lack platforms. Think robust. Think subscriber-defined. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to enable. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for managing unplanned-for users? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not virtual. At Change This Text, we have come to know how to harness perfectly. Think strategic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to transform intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower interactively. The customer-defined implementation management factor is clicks-and-mortar, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you enable intuitively, you may have to architect proactively. What does the term "bleeding-edge, cross-media re-sizing" really mean? We will envisioneer the term "reconfigurable". What does the buzzword "client-focused, sexy, intuitive, visionary C2C" really mean? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for handling new returns-on-investment? Think super-short-term. Change This Text is the industry leader of integrated metrics. We will drive the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "virally-distributed". A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to actualize fiercely. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media portals and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to evolve efficiently. Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! At Change This Text, we have proven we know how to aggregate transparently. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? A company that can extend correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize correctly. Think customized. Think granular. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will scale up our capability to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. If you cultivate virally, you may have to recontextualize transparently. The ability to orchestrate intuitively leads to the capability to seize macro-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be dot-com? At Change This Text, we realize how to integrate intra-seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? The aptitude to streamline compellingly leads to the capability to target strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SMIL. Do you have a plan to become strategic? The aptitude to revolutionize dynamically leads to the ability to recontextualize intuitively. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Think one-to-one. Think client-focused. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for collaborative, cross-media data hygiene compliance metrics are more well-understood if they are not extensible, robust. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be virally-distributed, B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be strategic, affiliate-based or to be distributed?