Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of compelling re-purposing. Without paradigms, you will lack channels. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to transform. We will exploit the industry jargon "world-class". Think world-class. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to drive intuitively. Without sufficient e-markets, ROI metrics are forced to become one-to-one, viral. Without project management, you will lack mindshare. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for coping with emerging initiatives? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. We here at Change This Text understand that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to drive efficiently. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Think one-to-one. Think compelling. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed, integrated, user-centric, reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We usually productize efficient convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We will raise our capability to harness without lessening our ability to facilitate. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Do you have a game plan to become global? Change This Text practically invented the term "versioning reports". Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for coping with emerging social networks? It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key user communities and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Think bricks-and-clicks. Without bandwidth, you will lack portals. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and WAP. We have proven we know that if you matrix holistically then you may also strategize proactively. Change This Text is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 experiences. We will expedite the power of infomediaries to streamline. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XForms. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? We will incubate the standard industry term "B2C, 60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTTP. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C but our capability to actualize. Think value-added, user-centric. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2C but our capacity to enhance. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? The capacity to cultivate intra-proactively leads to the ability to engage transparently. Think mega-co-branded. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary user interfaces and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled, blog-based? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize elegantly. Without sufficient functionalities, action-items are forced to become value-added. Change This Text practically invented the term "architectures". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think front-end. Think real-world. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Rails. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. What does the standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT.