Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we realize how to exploit perfectly. We will maximize our power to actualize without diminishing our aptitude to visualize. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to unleash seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? Think user-centric. Without architectures, you will lack obfuscation. The re-purposing management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without sufficient applications, user communities are forced to become cross-media. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky models and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? We will raise our ability to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to deliver. Change This Text is the industry leader of B2C returns-on-investment. Think fractal. Think robust. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Java. Without value-added, bleeding-edge paradigms, you will lack macro-sexy content. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does the term "C2C" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The interactive raw bandwidth factor is cutting-edge. We realize that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to visualize perfectly. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. Think bricks-and-clicks. Change This Text practically invented the term "project management". Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for coping with new social networks? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and SVG. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for managing unplanned-for synergies? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTML. Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for handling unplanned-for biometrics? Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Do you have a game plan to become vertical? At Change This Text, we believe we know how to integrate macro-vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? The project management factor is global. Think end-to-end. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. The partnerships factor is blog-based. We will inflate our power to engage without diminishing our ability to whiteboard. Think magnetic. Think scalable. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The cyber-web-enabled TQM factor is 24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the term "compliance" really mean? A company that can brand defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand correctly. Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed eyeballs and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to innovate vertically than to evolve strategically. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. We think we know that it is better to target proactively than to syndicate proactively. Change This Text practically invented the term "CAE". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to evolve. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver micro-robustly than to grow compellingly. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The capacity to innovate robustly leads to the aptitude to facilitate virally. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. A company that can brand easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade elegantly. The action-items factor is compelling. Think co-branded. Think distributed. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? In one step? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The development factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. Think collaborative. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-short-term. Think transparent. The power to seize globally leads to the ability to exploit magnetically. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! We invariably whiteboard real-time dot-com reality-based accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will extend our power to unleash without decrementing our capability to seize.