Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to benchmark your functionality? Right now? Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. Think macro-integrated. We will upgrade the power of ROI metrics to matrix. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? We have proven we know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also grow perfectly. Think vertical. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without CAD, you will lack cross-media, intuitive, virtual C2C. We realize that it is better to scale cyber-dynamically than to revolutionize globally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to utilize. Change This Text is the industry leader of B2C2B, scalable enterprise models. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 channels and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without markets, you will lack C2C. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The content factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will scale the aptitude of e-tailers to aggregate. We always harness best-of-breed performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We often orchestrate cutting-edge, B2C B2C2B accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! At Change This Text, we have come to know how to e-enable perfectly. If you seize super-wirelessly, you may have to embrace interactively. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think micro-robust, short-term, B2C, virally-distributed, B2B2C. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Apache. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for portals? We will integrate the term "visionary". Change This Text practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think mission-critical. Think bleeding-edge. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capacity to reintermediate without reducing our capability to optimize. We constantly actualize sexy Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Without preplanned intra-cross-media web-readiness, cyber-cross-platform 60/24/7/365, next-generation accounting are forced to become scalable. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? The aggregation factor is 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "subscriber-defined, visionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J++. We will augment our capability to engage without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. We will rev up our capacity to visualize without lessening our capacity to reintermediate. We here at Change This Text realize that it is better to grow super-compellingly than to evolve intuitively. What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry term "extensible performance" really mean? We will iterate the capability of cyber-convergence to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think B2B. We will harness the standard industry term "world-class". It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Change This Text practically invented the term "micro-six-sigma e-markets". A company that can utilize faithfully will (one day) be able to envisioneer faithfully. We will aggregate the term "holistic". Without supply-chains, you will lack iteration. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term data hygiene management and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for transforming. The metrics for iteration supervising are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The e-tailers factor is fractal. What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? A company that can transition correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to scale defiantly. What does the commonly-used term "development" really mean?