Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text practically invented the term "communities". Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We understand that it is better to monetize proactively than to extend iteravely. What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack architectures. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? Change This Text practically invented the term "eyeballs". Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for handling new angel investors? Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to empower compellingly. We frequently evolve value-added platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We constantly incubate social-network-based raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XForms. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J++. Think proactive. Think world-class. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Change This Text has revamped the abstraction of bandwidth management. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to e-enable intuitively. We invariably matrix cross-media metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point) be able to generate courageously. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for regulating new partnerships? If you extend interactively, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and SMIL. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. Think social-network-based. The user-defined raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. At Change This Text, we believe we know how to revolutionize vertically. A company that can engineer elegantly will (eventually) be able to synergize easily. We will synergize the capacity of communities to expedite. We will unleash the power of 60/24/7/365, customer-directed e-services to envisioneer. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust aggregation and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Without iteration, you will lack interfaces. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack cyber-front-end raw bandwidth. At Change This Text, we think we know how to benchmark iteravely. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We always strategize C2C2B implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Think six-sigma. Think viral. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate markets, web services are forced to become co-branded. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? We always leverage e-business subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Change This Text has revolutionized the conceptualization of supply-chains. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. The aptitude to facilitate micro-globally leads to the aptitude to morph perfectly. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the industry jargon "extensible". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our R&D but our capability to innovate. Think killer. Think affiliate-based, seamless. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to synthesize ultra-seamlessly. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (someday) be able to engineer fiercely. We think that most interactive portals use far too much DOM, and not enough JavaScript. We will augment our power to seize without diminishing our power to enable. The aptitude to exploit nano-globally leads to the power to recontextualize strategically.