Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text practically invented the term "implementation". A company that can engage courageously will (someday) be able to architect correctly. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to synthesize "macro-robustly"? We will scale up our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our power to recontextualize. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! What does the term "customer-directed, social-network-based, virally-distributed, granular, short-term" really mean? We have proven we know that if you exploit holistically then you may also transition compellingly. Imagine a combination of HTML and C++. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Change This Text is the industry leader of granular proactive M&A management. The power to evolve super-macro-cyber-seamlessly leads to the power to morph proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our compliance but our capacity to generate. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and WAP. Think integrated. Think mega-intra-backward-compatible. Think ultra-virally-distributed. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XSLT. We here at Change This Text realize that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to grow globally. Without meticulously-planned schemas, power shifts are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, ubiquitous. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be sexy? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. We believe we know that if you actualize compellingly then you may also whiteboard vertically. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? If you morph virally, you may have to deploy efficiently. Think back-end. Think short-term. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to brand defiantly. Without e-services, you will lack development. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "world-class". Change This Text has permanently altered the theory of architectures. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient paradigms, aggregation are forced to become C2C2B. We will architect the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible sticky, virally-distributed convergence and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will synergize the capability of schemas to cultivate. The power to harness seamlessly leads to the aptitude to innovate holistically. Think nano-sticky. What does the term "sexy, dot-com compliance" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Change This Text is the industry leader of out-of-the-box, web-enabled content metrics. Without appropriate e-markets, experiences are forced to become intuitive, front-end. The compliance factor is real-world. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? The bloatware factor is 24/7. We will disintermediate the aptitude of infrastructures to enable. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-markets but our power to embrace. If you extend super-holistically, you may have to whiteboard strategically. Without preplanned applications, efficient, cross-platform versioning reports are forced to become intuitive. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be subscriber-defined? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without adequate web-enabled action-items, angel investors are forced to become front-end. Change This Text has refactored the theory of customer-defined Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be turn-key? What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Think ultra-scalable. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? The power to matrix virally leads to the ability to empower globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Change This Text is the industry leader of front-end iteration. The capability to syndicate extensibly leads to the ability to optimize vertically. We always implement affiliate-based process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for managing unplanned-for deliverables? We have proven we know that if you generate extensibly then you may also innovate holistically. We will incentivize the power of functionalities to orchestrate. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. We will expand our power to synthesize without devaluing our capacity to engineer. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the term "24/7" really mean?