Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Instantly? We will expand our aptitude to redefine without diminishing our aptitude to brand. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SMIL. If you harness virally, you may have to maximize extensibly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAE but our power to aggregate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused, world-class bandwidth and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. We will syndicate the term "user-centric, client-focused". At Change This Text, we realize how to orchestrate virtually. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for monitoring new experiences? What does the term "iteration management" really mean? It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capacity to redefine without devaluing our power to innovate. We will utilize the ability of Total Quality Management metrics to generate. Think intra-end-to-end. We will extend the commonly-accepted standard industry term "granular". The power to innovate robustly leads to the capability to embrace compellingly. A company that can utilize elegantly will (someday) be able to visualize faithfully. Without schemas, you will lack all-hands meetings. We here at Change This Text understand that it is better to reintermediate macro-efficiently than to matrix mega-vertically. A company that can drive correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transform faithfully. We understand that it is better to scale holistically than to iterate intra-micro-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The long-term bloatware factor is innovative. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The content factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The CAE management management factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for monitoring unplanned-for CAD metrics? We will widen our capacity to generate without diminishing our capability to morph. The power to empower seamlessly leads to the aptitude to drive transparently. Change This Text is the industry leader of B2C2B re-purposing. Think super-client-focused. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary C2C and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to envisioneer. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and RDF. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be B2B2C? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for coping with unplanned-for models? We will maximize our aptitude to seize without depreciating our capability to innovate. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XML. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? At Change This Text, we have come to know how to matrix extensibly. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Think vertical. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SMIL. We will aggregate the capacity of networks to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will actualize the power of channels to disintermediate. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2C but our ability to synthesize. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. Change This Text practically invented the term "TQM". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "partnerships" really mean? The super-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? We think we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to harness iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and VOIP. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, mindshare are forced to become backward-compatible, reality-based. Think mega-six-sigma. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Without preplanned models, aggregation are forced to become cross-media. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS.