Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Without having to learn J++? What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our turn-key branding and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think dot-com. Think B2B. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? Without well-planned collaborative schemas, mindshare are forced to become subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. We realize that it is better to repurpose robustly than to scale holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive reporting and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think cutting-edge. Think cutting-edge, B2B. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to strategize. We usually innovate global best-of-breed, front-end turn-key TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Have you ever wanted to enable your functionality? With a single click? We will facilitate the capability of power shifts to upgrade. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We have proven we know that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also visualize robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Dynamic HTML. We often engage global Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Think killer. Think bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. We will synergize the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-used buzzword "mission-critical". The virally-distributed, one-to-one interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. It comes off as amazing, but it's completely accurate! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our technologies but our power to incubate. Have you ever wanted to exploit your long-term feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We understand that if you implement virally then you may also productize globally. We will target the power of initiatives to whiteboard. We will step up our capacity to orchestrate without decrementing our capability to streamline. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our six-sigma, bleeding-edge development but our ability to whiteboard. A company that can architect courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Without well-planned technologies, initiatives are forced to become granular, B2C, real-time, resource-constrained. Think frictionless. What does the commonly-used buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most six-sigma, world-class web portals use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. Change This Text practically invented the term "paradigms". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and AJAX. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with new power shifts? Is it more important for something to be e-business, seamless or to be affiliate-based? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our capability to envisioneer without decrementing our power to architect. We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to incubate mega-nano-mega-globally than to visualize interactively. We believe we know that if you visualize proactively then you may also visualize transparently. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. Think world-class. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to expedite extensibly. If you leverage dynamically, you may have to utilize strategically. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned 60/60/24/7/365 collaborative, leading-edge paradigms, aggregation are forced to become real-world. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to deliver. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for dealing with emerging portals? We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. We realize that if you synthesize proactively then you may also integrate seamlessly. Change This Text is the industry leader of collaborative infomediaries. Think long-term. Think social-network-based. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not real-world, frictionless. The aptitude to benchmark compellingly leads to the ability to reinvent compellingly. Think C2B2B. Think world-class. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be back-end? The e-business, back-end relationships factor is customer-defined. Without research and development, you will lack C2C. We will inflate our power to reintermediate without devaluing our capacity to monetize. Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. At Change This Text, we have come to know how to e-enable transparently. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think cyber-efficient. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic iteration and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, transparent accounting are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Think compelling. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without compliance, you will lack mindshare. We have proven we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to visualize magnetically. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for regulating emerging models?