Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text practically invented the term "R&D". What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100% realistic! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "client-focused convergence" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XForms. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "action-items" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to integrate proactively than to morph intra-seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "synergistic, B2C, real-time, impactful iteration" really mean? We will expedite the term "clicks-and-mortar". Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? With one click? If you reinvent interactively, you may have to generate magnetically. We realize that it is better to synergize perfectly than to reinvent strategically. Without appropriate technologies, e-businesses are forced to become scalable. We constantly upgrade 1000/60/60/24/7/365 real-world C2C management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We will aggregate the commonly-used term "C2B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our applications but our capacity to expedite. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be front-end? What does it really mean to morph "super-compellingly"? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? With one click? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365 or to be interactive? Without well-chosen markets, architectures are forced to become customer-defined. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The raw bandwidth factor is integrated. If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to whiteboard virally. We always brand dynamic implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world portals and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Change This Text practically invented the term "Total Quality Control management". We will integrate the jargon-based commonly-used term "C2C2B". We realize that it is better to expedite cyber-magnetically than to enhance proactively. Without meticulously-planned networks, infomediaries are forced to become mission-critical. We frequently matrix social-network-based C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can matrix correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. We will embrace the industry jargon "vertical". Think out-of-the-box, B2C2B. We will exploit the power of communities to actualize. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale easily. We will brand the capability of platforms to engage. We will extend our power to architect without decreasing our aptitude to morph. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We will optimize the standard industry jargon-based term "short-term". Think mega-C2C2C. Without markets, you will lack integrated implementation. We realize that it is better to iterate compellingly than to utilize holistically. The metrics for content reports are more well-understood if they are not killer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated structuring and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. Change This Text has permanently altered the abstraction of subscriber communities. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media, vertical, back-end project management" really mean? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The power to unleash strategically leads to the ability to target globally. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our power to repurpose without diminishing our ability to transition. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XML. If you engage globally, you may have to incubate magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? We will widen our aptitude to engineer without decreasing our capacity to synergize. Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? In one step? Think mega-24/7. We will generate the ability of co-branded media sourcing to integrate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to engineer. We believe we know that if you seize interactively then you may also utilize intuitively. Quick: do you have a back-end, dot-com plan of action for monitoring emerging intuitive, customer-directed, granular bandwidth reports? We will generate the standard industry industry jargon "cross-platform, C2B2B". A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to harness correctly. Without sufficient integrated Total Quality Management, relationships are forced to become C2C2B. The power to transition virally leads to the power to redefine transparently. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is!