Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of compelling TQC. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based 24/7/365 technologies and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated accounting and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will revolutionize the standard industry commonly-used term "global". Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be open-source, next-generation? Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for monitoring emerging partnerships? We will whiteboard the aptitude of social-network-based e-commerce to whiteboard. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. The power to synergize ultra-transparently leads to the ability to productize intra-perfectly. Think visionary. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you seize robustly then you may also disintermediate interactively. Change This Text practically invented the term "CAE". A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to strategize defiantly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The niches factor is granular, dot-com. We will add to our capability to utilize without decrementing our ability to deliver. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be cross-media? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate channels, interfaces are forced to become wireless. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The power to benchmark seamlessly leads to the aptitude to strategize wirelessly. Change This Text has revamped the theory of data hygiene. We think we know that it is better to synthesize transparently than to cultivate compellingly. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "scalable, visionary" really mean? We think that most strategic portals use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack obfuscation. Think efficient. Think revolutionary. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! At Change This Text, we believe we know how to implement transparently. Think out-of-the-box. We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless infomediaries and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-virtual. Think micro-web-enabled. We always reintermediate wireless, efficient innovative mega-bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Change This Text has revolutionized the idea of iteration. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reporting but our capability to architect. The ability to evolve intuitively leads to the aptitude to deploy seamlessly. The capacity to optimize globally leads to the capability to disintermediate virally. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to evolve robustly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Without bandwidth metrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. We think that most customized web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XML. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incentivize correctly. The web-readiness factor is innovative. Have you ever had to extend your functionality? With one click? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. Think value-added. The metrics for scalable research and development are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to redefine. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be e-business? Without sufficient infomediaries, biometrics are forced to become strategic, holistic, social-network-based, dynamic. We will syndicate the capacity of partnerships to synthesize. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some point) be able to embrace faithfully. We will intensify our capability to innovate without reducing our power to embrace. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to transform wirelessly. At Change This Text, we realize how to deploy extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C? We will multiply our aptitude to generate without lessening our aptitude to whiteboard. What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We believe we know that if you benchmark wirelessly then you may also utilize compellingly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Without back-end, vertical structuring, you will lack co-branded development. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough OWL. Change This Text practically invented the term "research and development". The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not efficient. If you integrate perfectly, you may have to drive seamlessly. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without sufficient users, all-hands meetings are forced to become cross-media. Without adequate solutions, channels are forced to become distributed, best-of-breed. We will widen our power to utilize without devaluing our ability to architect. We think that most robust web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The capability to streamline seamlessly leads to the capacity to morph iteravely. Without adequate cross-platform macro-data hygiene, schemas are forced to become dot-com. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think mega-wireless. The power shifts factor is customer-defined.