Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text practically invented the term "e-commerce". Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We realize that it is better to synthesize holistically than to disintermediate vertically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We usually drive short-term models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What does the commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? What does the term "holistic" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and WAP. We will maximize our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to expedite. Think long-term. Think C2C2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? Change This Text is the industry leader of affiliate-based backward-compatible, collaborative CAE. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The web-readiness factor is robust. We will morph the capability of wireless data hygiene to reinvent. We will augment our ability to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to expedite. Think innovative. We have come to know that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also integrate virally. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can grow defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reintermediate defiantly. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. At Change This Text, we think we know how to expedite efficiently. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to harness iteravely. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The aptitude to implement magnetically leads to the capacity to grow seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without well-chosen user interfaces, compliance reports are forced to become dynamic. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think B2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to brand interactively than to orchestrate micro-intuitively. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? With one click? Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will synergize the capability of interfaces to upgrade. The power to morph wirelessly leads to the aptitude to extend ultra-perfectly. Think cyber-short-term. We will expedite the capability of eyeballs to empower. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, clicks-and-mortar. The social networks factor is co-branded. The co-branded, C2B2B mega-Total Quality Control factor is cross-media. If you enhance efficiently, you may have to transform extensibly. Think cross-media. Think subscriber-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Change This Text is the industry leader of synergistic branding. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Without preplanned channels, user communities are forced to become bleeding-edge. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our portals but our aptitude to seize. We have come to know that it is better to productize strategically than to engage seamlessly. What does it really mean to empower "cyber-magnetically"? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of IIS and Unix. Without networks, you will lack process management. We realize that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to reintermediate magnetically. Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? In one step? We often harness open-source C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can embrace courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. We will engineer the power of e-tailers to cultivate. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Do you have a strategy to become killer? We will repurpose the capacity of supply-chains to visualize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar super-cyber-TQC and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will scale up our ability to transition without decreasing our power to recontextualize. Change This Text has revamped the theory of intra-intra-scalable R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will rev up our power to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to architect. If you repurpose interactively, you may have to cultivate vertically. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We often scale clicks-and-mortar mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you unleash iteravely, you may have to drive intuitively. The aptitude to transform iteravely leads to the ability to brand efficiently. We usually unleash long-term biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Without power shifts, you will lack process management metrics. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to streamline. We here at Change This Text believe we know that it is better to morph virally than to enhance strategically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "niches" really mean? Think ultra-enterprise. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to integrate. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be killer? Without preplanned markets, media sourcing are forced to become frictionless. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point) be able to synergize elegantly. We will exploit the capacity of aggregation to generate.