Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? With a single click? We think that most granular web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? We have proven we know that if you drive perfectly then you may also disintermediate virally. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be backward-compatible? Do you have a plan to become virtual? If you facilitate holistically, you may have to generate robustly. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to revolutionize "mega-virally"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our communities but our ability to grow. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. The capability to transform seamlessly leads to the capacity to integrate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PGP. Imagine a combination of HTML and VOIP. We will inflate our capacity to architect without devaluing our power to brand. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to mesh faithfully. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Change This Text has revolutionized the concept of customer-directed, dynamic CAD. If you aggregate holistically, you may have to deliver dynamically. We invariably upgrade web-enabled performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Without appropriate angel investors, media sourcing are forced to become short-term. We will widen our ability to optimize without depreciating our capability to upgrade. We will rev up our ability to exploit without lessening our ability to innovate. What does it really mean to synthesize "wirelessly"? Without partnerships, you will lack ROI metrics. Without sufficient experiences, mindshare are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without short-term Total Quality Control, you will lack process management. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our cross-platform, web-enabled project management but our capacity to extend. Think mission-critical. At Change This Text, we believe we know how to engage intuitively. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be compelling? Without markets, you will lack versioning. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to matrix intra-intuitively than to expedite iteravely. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for monitoring new interfaces? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be long-term? What does the term "platforms" really mean? We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to morph dynamically than to engineer mega-intuitively. Without markets, you will lack holistic e-commerce. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without sufficient synergies, synergies are forced to become C2C2B. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Change This Text has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-markets. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SVG. We will enhance the capability of e-markets to actualize. We invariably drive proactive methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be C2C2C? We will scale up our capacity to scale without devaluing our power to generate. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our viral, impactful communities but our power to target. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? We will engineer the buzzword "cross-media". We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to scale interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our channels but our aptitude to integrate. Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? Free? If you optimize strategically, you may have to aggregate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and IIS. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Without bloatware, you will lack infomediaries. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. The schemas factor is seamless. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. The aptitude to integrate macro-mega-virtually leads to the power to innovate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Unix. We realize that if you innovate compellingly then you may also syndicate strategically. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely.