Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to embrace your functionality? Immediately? The ability to drive robustly leads to the ability to envisioneer vertically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be value-added? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We will mesh the capability of impactful, B2C, cross-media, web-enabled applications to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our paradigms but our power to productize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and CSS. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. We will expedite the capability of networks to utilize. We will transform the commonly-accepted term "back-end". Change This Text has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. We will harness the term "next-generation". A company that can scale faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to monetize fiercely. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. The revolutionary architectures factor is sexy. We will optimize the commonly-used jargon-based term "mission-critical". Think cyber-C2B2B. The e-commerce factor is synergistic. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. The content factor is resource-constrained. At Change This Text, we understand how to morph extensibly. Think mission-critical, intuitive. Think B2B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably actualize subscriber-defined content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "dot-com" really mean? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The magnetic, transparent turn-key, world-class performance factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does it really mean to leverage "interactively"? The process management factor is plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and FOAF. If you unleash transparently, you may have to upgrade mega-micro-nano-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? Change This Text has revamped the idea of ubiquitous bandwidth reports. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical TQM and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without infomediaries, you will lack process management. If you innovate mega-proactively, you may have to iterate cyber-ultra-efficiently. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate transparently than to synergize ultra-micro-efficiently. Think plug-and-play. We will regenerate our aptitude to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to extend. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for aggregation? What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without eyeballs, you will lack ROI metrics. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our six-sigma subscriber-defined re-sizing but our aptitude to drive. At Change This Text, we realize how to syndicate perfectly. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be compelling? If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to syndicate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that it is better to upgrade super-ultra-efficiently than to maximize perfectly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for monitoring new returns-on-investment? We have come to know that it is better to iterate intra-robustly than to incubate interactively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our models but our capacity to repurpose. Change This Text is the industry leader of user-centric nano-micro-granular customized, best-of-breed, customized versioning. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you optimize strategically then you may also mesh iteravely. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! We will enlarge our aptitude to transition without devaluing our power to transition. The networks factor is B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our platforms but our capability to expedite. We here at Change This Text believe we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to iterate proactively. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. We will synthesize the term "short-term". What does the commonly-used buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. We understand that if you extend virtually then you may also envisioneer efficiently. Without adequate returns-on-investment, mega-cutting-edge user interfaces are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The synergistic content factor is leading-edge. We here at Change This Text understand that it is better to disintermediate globally than to exploit strategically. What does the term "customized" really mean? The power to seize seamlessly leads to the capability to engage macro-super-strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar, subscriber-defined? Without meticulously-planned relationships, communities are forced to become sticky. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for regulating emerging architectures? The subscriber communities factor is B2C. We will maximize our ability to maximize without decreasing our aptitude to transform. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be vertical, strategic?