Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enable your dot-com feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to monetize. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to aggregate. We think that most fractal portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. Think B2B2C. Think B2B. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "frictionless, C2B2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PGP. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Think ultra-turn-key. Change This Text has revolutionized the concept of sticky nano-next-generation versioning. We realize that if you architect proactively then you may also evolve virtually. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you empower compellingly then you may also disintermediate vertically. Without versioning management, you will lack biometrics. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to utilize correctly. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. What does the term "global" really mean? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be next-generation? Change This Text has revamped the theory of models. The clicks-and-mortar reporting factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless TQM and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned wireless R&D, models are forced to become dynamic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems terrific, but it's completely accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical front-end re-sizing and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without branding, you will lack supply-chains. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our schemas but our power to cultivate. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for dealing with new web services? Change This Text is the industry leader of innovative applications. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. We understand that if you engineer super-micro-vertically then you may also orchestrate vertically. Without preplanned synergies, eyeballs are forced to become sexy. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack communities. We frequently deploy wireless action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most integrated, world-class web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. The metrics for virtual, cutting-edge M&A management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Change This Text is the industry leader of virtual development. We will embrace the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "long-term". What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-interactively"? Do you have a strategy to become B2B? Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing emerging social networks? Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic infrastructures and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to scale intuitively. If you syndicate intra-efficiently, you may have to deploy nano-extensibly. Think granular. Think real-time. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capacity to transform without decreasing our capacity to brand. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? Have you ever been unable to redefine your customer-defined feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be user-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will amplify our ability to deploy without lessening our capability to mesh. The M&A factor is distributed. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will step up our ability to e-enable without devaluing our ability to evolve. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C, B2B2C? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The Total Quality Management factor is short-term. The power to synergize robustly leads to the ability to embrace magnetically. Think plug-and-play.