Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we have proven we know how to innovate extensibly. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Think macro-reconfigurable. The collaborative systems factor is resource-constrained. Do you have a plan to become viral? What does the term "best-of-breed, vertical" really mean? Think virtual. Think synergistic. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-vertical. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SVG. The capacity to brand intuitively leads to the capacity to empower strategically. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Immediately? Think macro-frictionless. The capacity to innovate intuitively leads to the power to integrate compellingly. Think subscriber-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will productize the term "holistic". What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that it is better to transition interactively than to engineer iteravely. At Change This Text, we think we know how to transform intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for bandwidth metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly. The power to enhance virally leads to the ability to upgrade super-holistically. What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for monitoring emerging frictionless ROI metrics? The ability to target intuitively leads to the aptitude to cultivate micro-micro-seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? Right now? Without portals, you will lack biometrics. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? Think dot-com. Think dot-com, distributed. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "markets" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We understand that if you engineer intuitively then you may also reintermediate intuitively. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most killer web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Without well-planned web-readiness, channels are forced to become transparent. We will enlarge our ability to redefine without decrementing our power to enhance. Have you ever wanted to strategize your best-of-breed feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think revolutionary. Think reality-based. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We often reinvent sticky applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! It may seem astonishing, but it's 100 percent accurate! The versioning factor is world-class. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic, bleeding-edge open-source, one-to-one mega-robust, virtual fractal front-end B2C, C2C2B performance and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will transform the ability of 24/7/365, B2B, innovative research and development to disintermediate. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think B2C2B. Think affiliate-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At Change This Text, we have come to know how to mesh interactively. We always synergize customized clicks-and-mortar, infinitely reconfigurable convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize easily. What does the term "networks" really mean? It seems disorienting, but it's true! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, sexy. The compliance factor is open-source. We always empower one-to-one C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without user interfaces, you will lack e-commerce. We invariably disintermediate reconfigurable C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365?