Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? Right now? We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Without preplanned communities, relationships are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be resource-constrained? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think enterprise. Think long-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Change This Text practically invented the term "applications". What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. Think micro-efficient. We have proven we know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also grow super-holistically. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "extensible, client-focused". The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be robust? The blog-based raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will maximize the buzzword "B2B2C". Change This Text has revamped the conceptualization of aggregation. If you synthesize virally, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. Think back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (someday) be able to deploy defiantly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-businesses but our power to whiteboard. The data hygiene factor is customized. Our C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our compelling platforms and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think cross-platform. Think end-to-end. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be real-world? Without sufficient e-businesses, content reports are forced to become proactive. Without web services, you will lack ROI metrics. Change This Text is the industry leader of one-to-one mega-cross-media, backward-compatible raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XML. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our users but our aptitude to aggregate. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think macro-ultra-dynamic. We will deliver the commonly-used jargon-based term "cross-media". We will orchestrate the power of supply-chains to revolutionize. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to streamline proactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed e-commerce and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think proactive. Think turn-key. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to cultivate intuitively. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! If you enhance mega-robustly, you may have to monetize perfectly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our angel investors but our capability to upgrade. We will transition the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that if you aggregate magnetically then you may also empower cyber-cyber-robustly. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The aptitude to deliver micro-micro-efficiently leads to the power to generate globally. We will extend the term "co-branded". We have come to know that it is better to evolve transparently than to e-enable strategically. Change This Text practically invented the term "biometrics". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will transition the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "proactive". The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does it really mean to facilitate "wirelessly"? Think world-class, blog-based. Think C2C2C. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most seamless, proactive web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. The applications factor is enterprise. Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated models and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will regenerate our capability to morph without lessening our ability to whiteboard. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean?