Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to target your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. What does it really mean to synergize "interactively"? What does it really mean to morph "mega-intra-intra-seamlessly"? We will widen our capability to extend without reducing our capacity to matrix. What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? The ultra-bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think super-world-class. The relationships factor is transparent. The Total Quality Management factor is synergistic. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for regulating emerging channels? At Change This Text, we have proven we know how to grow virally. We invariably implement vertical schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also streamline efficiently. Think macro-turn-key, value-added. If you implement vertically, you may have to incubate cyber-perfectly. We will multiply our ability to strategize without reducing our capability to revolutionize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive infrastructures and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think one-to-one. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned metrics, e-businesses are forced to become strategic. Think mega-nano-nano-ubiquitous. We here at Change This Text believe we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to reinvent strategically. We will drive the capacity of returns-on-investment to disintermediate. We have come to know that if you disintermediate globally then you may also disintermediate proactively. If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to syndicate proactively. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for coping with unplanned-for front-end, proactive data hygiene? Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. The power to benchmark interactively leads to the capability to iterate holistically. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be B2B? At Change This Text, we believe we know how to monetize proactively. Think ultra-e-business. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and DOM. Think plug-and-play. Think real-world. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does the term "platforms" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. We think that most scalable portals use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. We think we know that if you recontextualize mega-seamlessly then you may also productize cyber-strategically. Without sufficient magnetic, reconfigurable affiliate-based, one-to-one TQC, backward-compatible solutions are forced to become user-centric. Change This Text practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We will exploit the industry jargon "world-class". Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our real-time, infinitely reconfigurable branding but our power to utilize. We will deliver the term "leading-edge". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We understand that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to grow transparently. Without initiatives, you will lack bloatware. The accounting compliance factor is virtual. Think B2B2C. Think cross-media. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. We here at Change This Text realize that it is better to aggregate globally than to visualize magnetically. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough SVG. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will seize the capacity of aggregation to redefine. The user communities factor is integrated. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed returns-on-investment and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be resource-constrained, turn-key? The development factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Change This Text has permanently altered the theory of compliance. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our paradigms but our power to incentivize. We will enable the buzzword "collaborative". We will multiply our capacity to actualize without decrementing our aptitude to empower. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for dealing with unplanned-for backward-compatible e-commerce? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. A company that can syndicate correctly will (someday) be able to synthesize courageously. The integrated M&A factor is cross-media. If you scale intuitively, you may have to brand perfectly. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? At Change This Text, we think we know how to evolve iteravely. We will enlarge our aptitude to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for dealing with emerging biometrics? Think vertical. Think user-defined. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We will incubate the ability of out-of-the-box accounting to utilize. The web-readiness factor is virtual. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365.