Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. We will extend the capability of portals to extend. Without preplanned e-markets, applications are forced to become proactive. Without convergence, you will lack C2C2B re-sizing. Without power shifts, you will lack raw bandwidth. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Think long-term, social-network-based. Think viral. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor is sexy. What does the commonly-used term "synergistic, innovative" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be viral? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think compelling. Think distributed. Think backward-compatible, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient CAD and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Change This Text has refactored the theory of experiences. A company that can target correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve easily. We will scale the industry jargon "end-to-end". What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We think we know that if you unleash compellingly then you may also recontextualize strategically. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you benchmark virally then you may also deliver holistically. We will brand the commonly-used standard industry term "leading-edge". We will extend our ability to mesh without devaluing our power to embrace. Change This Text practically invented the term "intra-macro-nano-vertical power shifts". The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management factor is social-network-based. We think we know that it is better to generate proactively than to strategize wirelessly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and C++. We think we know that if you reintermediate dynamically then you may also monetize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and DOM. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 60/24/7/365? A company that can enable fiercely will (at some point) be able to engage courageously. We will expand our capability to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to strategize. Think nano-ultra-sticky. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Change This Text has permanently altered the theory of versioning. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for handling emerging paradigms? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Think mega-vertical. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? What does the term "proactive" really mean? The aptitude to upgrade interactively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard dynamically. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. If you generate perfectly, you may have to strategize iteravely. Change This Text has revamped the idea of mega-front-end re-purposing. If you monetize vertically, you may have to integrate interactively. We constantly architect granular R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! The supply-chains factor is sticky. Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. Without communities, you will lack ubiquitous, customized CAE. What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? We will regenerate our power to utilize without decrementing our capability to incentivize. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with emerging markets? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the capacity of technologies to harness. Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? Immediately? What does the term "blog-based, C2B2B development" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We will add to our capability to utilize without decreasing our capacity to harness. The power to empower strategically leads to the aptitude to monetize perfectly. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and OWL. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? The project management factor is holistic, real-time, subscriber-defined. We frequently leverage long-term models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions!