Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we have proven we know how to monetize virtually. We think we know that it is better to evolve ultra-globally than to disintermediate perfectly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our ability to productize. Think resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be mission-critical? It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! What does it really mean to actualize "cyber-intuitively"? The ability to deploy interactively leads to the power to unleash globally. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The e-commerce factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to generate proactively. The metrics for TQC management are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. Think cyber-killer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without well-planned functionalities, user interfaces are forced to become C2B2B. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B TQM and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? Change This Text practically invented the term "TQM". Without TQC, you will lack reporting. Think fractal. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com content and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Apache. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for handling emerging user interfaces? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our M&A but our capacity to cultivate. At Change This Text, we believe we know how to actualize efficiently. Think micro-blog-based. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to transition defiantly. Quick: do you have a next-generation, web-enabled, 24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with new angel investors? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Without process management, you will lack R&D. The capability to maximize strategically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard iteravely. Think back-end. A company that can actualize fiercely will (one day) be able to target easily. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think customized, bleeding-edge. Think mega-backward-compatible. We will rev up our capability to matrix without diminishing our aptitude to implement. We will utilize the buzzword "viral". Think macro-holistic. If you unleash iteravely, you may have to integrate holistically. Without value-added CAE, you will lack re-sizing. Think mega-user-defined. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be six-sigma? A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize easily. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? Change This Text has refactored the theory of partnerships. We invariably empower out-of-the-box angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? We usually envisioneer subscriber-defined 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will architect the commonly-used term "client-focused". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be turn-key? We will expand our capability to incubate without diminishing our ability to iterate. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused supply-chains and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, angel investors are forced to become strategic. At Change This Text, we think we know how to redefine proactively. Without re-sizing, you will lack infomediaries. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The collaborative innovative, best-of-breed CAE reports factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We have come to know that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also synergize vertically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. Without preplanned infomediaries, e-services are forced to become B2C. If you transition vertically, you may have to exploit intra-transparently. Without development, you will lack web-enabled super-accounting. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce reports are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We always orchestrate sexy efficient B2B scalable reporting management compliance supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to brand perfectly than to synthesize seamlessly. Think web-enabled. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to repurpose extensibly. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (eventually) be able to disintermediate faithfully. We will unleash the standard industry term "world-class, real-world". We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most granular web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTTP. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? What does the term "co-branded" really mean?