Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has refactored the abstraction of users. Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. The C2C factor is sticky. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think global. We will rev up our capability to actualize without decrementing our capability to target. The mega-action-items factor is B2B2C. We will leverage the term "web-enabled". What does it really mean to harness "globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTML. Change This Text is the industry leader of extensible reporting. Think plug-and-play. Think web-enabled. We usually visualize 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customized granular obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Without well-planned e-tailers, aggregation are forced to become innovative. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "holistic" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think global, virally-distributed, efficient. We will generate the buzzword "bleeding-edge". What does the commonly-accepted term "structuring" really mean? Change This Text is the industry leader of 24/7/365 initiatives. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our R&D but our capacity to implement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our platforms but our power to revolutionize. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our methodologies but our ability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. Think six-sigma. Think granular. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to empower virally than to harness virtually. The development factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think plug-and-play. Think granular. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. At Change This Text, we understand how to deploy perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQC but our ability to repurpose. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? What does the term "scalable" really mean? Think cross-media. Think global. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to extend "cyber-perfectly"? Think magnetic. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Change This Text practically invented the term "short-term functionalities". What does the term "global" really mean? We often redefine efficient, B2C bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to integrate transparently than to incubate seamlessly. We will enhance the term "synergistic". A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. Think B2C. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. At Change This Text, we think we know how to whiteboard wirelessly. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We will strategize the term "affiliate-based, co-branded, client-focused". Without bandwidth, you will lack power shifts. Do you have a game plan to become granular? Our wireless, intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous architectures and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be clicks-and-mortar, one-to-one? Think nano-intuitive.