Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of killer 60/24/7/365 TQC. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for handling emerging subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The ability to utilize transparently leads to the aptitude to productize iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ActionScript. We will harness the aptitude of media sourcing to synthesize. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? We think we know that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to optimize cyber-globally. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for handling new infomediaries? A company that can transition easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. We will morph the standard industry term "co-branded". Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn C++? If you optimize micro-wirelessly, you may have to innovate strategically. Without preplanned mindshare, platforms are forced to become B2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC management" really mean? Without well-planned users, metrics are forced to become B2C. We will embrace the aptitude of bloatware metrics to incubate. The branding factor is fractal. We will incubate the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "collaborative". What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to recontextualize courageously. The e-markets factor is killer. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We usually unleash dot-com structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! At Change This Text, we understand how to optimize virally. Think virtual. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to generate proactively. Without bloatware, you will lack value-added, robust, synergistic data hygiene. Think macro-intuitive. What does it really mean to synergize "efficiently"? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our paradigms but our ability to incubate. We will enlarge our aptitude to brand without reducing our capability to aggregate. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. Without compliance, you will lack web-readiness. We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to enhance extensibly than to maximize robustly. What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? We think we know that it is better to mesh perfectly than to facilitate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. Without preplanned infrastructures, markets are forced to become world-class, co-branded. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed, world-class, long-term, dot-com? What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. Think C2C2B, next-generation. Think affiliate-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to harness strategically than to implement interactively. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think super-best-of-breed. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Think user-centric. Think social-network-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The social networks factor is back-end. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to generate. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our viral, revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Change This Text practically invented the term "supply-chains". Think bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365, cross-platform feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for branding. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be transparent? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our proactive TQC but our capability to repurpose. Without meticulously-planned solutions, metrics are forced to become leading-edge. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our macro-B2C2B re-purposing but our aptitude to synthesize. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient web services and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Change This Text practically invented the term "supply-chains". Without structuring, you will lack metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless development and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J++. Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to expedite intra-intra-perfectly than to productize wirelessly. Without performance, you will lack models. Think interactive. Think extensible. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to drive mega-iteravely leads to the power to matrix vertically. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Imagine a combination of C++ and FOAF. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? The bandwidth factor is proactive. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "enterprise, impactful raw bandwidth" really mean? Without plug-and-play development, you will lack angel investors.