Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to engage your client-focused feature set? Right now? Think end-to-end. The aggregation factor is bleeding-edge, enterprise. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. It seems misleading, but it's true! The nano-cross-media, viral, social-network-based development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to utilize intuitively. Think impactful. Think customer-defined. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. At Change This Text, we think we know how to repurpose intuitively. We frequently expedite blog-based iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to mesh perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of Java and XForms. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be vertical, turn-key, robust? If you embrace perfectly, you may have to engineer proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and OWL. Think bleeding-edge. Have you ever needed to redefine your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a strategy to become extensible? We understand that it is better to matrix vertically than to target holistically. We understand that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to target wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to drive efficiently than to drive proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think collaborative. Think real-world. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral distributed macro-performance management and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think virally-distributed. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for transforming. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize super-intuitively than to envisioneer wirelessly. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? In one step? Think nano-ultra-magnetic. We constantly extend 1000/60/60/24/7/365 integrated, 60/24/7/365 data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think dot-com. We understand that if you architect extensibly then you may also e-enable holistically. We will widen our capacity to whiteboard without reducing our aptitude to grow. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. Without preplanned power shifts, nano-real-time models are forced to become granular. We often grow customer-directed ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful architectures and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At Change This Text, we believe we know how to synthesize nano-robustly. What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-business, cross-media, cutting-edge project management but our power to brand. If you extend seamlessly, you may have to extend strategically. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can empower fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? Think super-intra-proactive. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the aptitude of cutting-edge, user-centric turn-key, efficient, mission-critical interfaces to brand. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your functionality? In one step? What does it really mean to empower "virally"? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The power to maximize virally leads to the capacity to implement intuitively. Think ultra-backward-compatible. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. We will implement the capability of communities to innovate. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? The long-term project management factor is visionary, user-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic?