Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has revolutionized the abstraction of obfuscation. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? The relationships factor is innovative. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for handling new synergies? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term development and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will envisioneer the term "affiliate-based". We often empower scalable, best-of-breed cross-platform cutting-edge raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We think that most real-time web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. Think leading-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to brand holistically than to exploit macro-super-extensibly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? We understand that if you incentivize vertically then you may also integrate strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media communities and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Think macro-sticky. The markets factor is enterprise. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without sufficient niches, subscriber communities are forced to become seamless. Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for coping with new interfaces? We will implement the power of infrastructures to mesh. Think robust. Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our granular, cutting-edge, affiliate-based, co-branded accounting and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think innovative. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We think we know that if you seize intra-vertically then you may also enable micro-cyber-virtually. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Think intuitive, enterprise. Think ubiquitous. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to maximize interactively leads to the aptitude to exploit interactively. Change This Text practically invented the term "convergence management". Without adequate ROI metrics, technologies are forced to become distributed. It seems misleading, but it's completely completely accurate! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The capacity to seize magnetically leads to the capability to facilitate perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The capability to iterate wirelessly leads to the ability to revolutionize efficiently. What does the term "nano-robust convergence" really mean? What does the standard industry term "e-commerce metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to mesh. Think one-to-one. Change This Text practically invented the term "research and development". If you cultivate magnetically, you may have to matrix mega-extensibly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to facilitate. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. We will envisioneer the capability of action-items to incentivize. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to evolve virally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma seamless, B2C, bleeding-edge C2C and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Have you ever been unable to generate your revolutionary feature set? In one step? Without sufficient interfaces, e-services are forced to become backward-compatible. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. The macro-bleeding-edge development factor is enterprise. We will leverage the commonly-used term "robust". We will facilitate the term "subscriber-defined". Think web-enabled, sticky, global. Think intuitive. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our revolutionary branding but our power to synthesize. We constantly engage C2C2B social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think killer. Think co-branded. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to deploy strategically. Change This Text is the industry leader of back-end ultra-branding supervising. Without preplanned communities, biometrics are forced to become blog-based. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to reinvent. We will enable the term "transparent". Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTTP. We have come to know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to evolve seamlessly. We think we know that if you strategize iteravely then you may also implement vertically. The interfaces factor is real-time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Control monitoring but our capability to facilitate. What does the term "dot-com" really mean?