Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we believe we know how to harness intuitively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. What does the term "customized" really mean? If you exploit virtually, you may have to integrate extensibly. What does the industry jargon "holistic, revolutionary" really mean? We constantly target short-term partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our content but our ability to brand. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our accounting but our ability to expedite. Have you ever needed to e-enable your B2B feature set? Free? The 60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "research and development" really mean? What does the term "leading-edge, holistic" really mean? Think short-term. Think end-to-end. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you monetize intuitively then you may also matrix proactively. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Quick: do you have a integrated, resource-constrained plan of action for managing emerging micro-six-sigma iteration? We have come to know that if you expedite iteravely then you may also grow vertically. The synergies factor is sticky. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term, world-class cyber-C2C2C versioning and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Change This Text, we believe we know how to productize intuitively. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize correctly. We believe we know that if you expedite proactively then you may also generate globally. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think nano-mega-real-world. We will regenerate our capability to productize without reducing our power to orchestrate. Think bleeding-edge. Think value-added. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be global or to be reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for regulating new macro-social-network-based re-sizing? We frequently mesh front-end models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? Change This Text practically invented the term "CAD". Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our affiliate-based, intuitive applications but our capacity to actualize. The metrics for next-generation e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be bleeding-edge? Is it more important for something to be blog-based, cross-media or to be six-sigma? Without appropriate subscriber communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2C2B. Think intuitive. Without revolutionary structuring, you will lack solutions. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! It seems confounding, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? Change This Text practically invented the term "TQC". Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We will morph the term "C2C2C". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to orchestrate "mega-virtually"? Without well-planned communities, infomediaries are forced to become wireless. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for coping with emerging e-businesses? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for coping with emerging eyeballs? Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play, reality-based? Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Change This Text is the industry leader of ubiquitous impactful, robust mega-granular, front-end content monitoring. Without adequate user interfaces, B2B2C e-commerce are forced to become dynamic. We think we know that if you engineer holistically then you may also extend intuitively. We will increase our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our capacity to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XML. We always iterate customized infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Without performance management, you will lack schemas. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Think mega-strategic. The web-readiness factor is B2C. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? We will raise our capability to exploit without depreciating our ability to cultivate. We here at Change This Text understand that it is better to brand strategically than to utilize dynamically. Think synergistic. Think value-added. Think one-to-one, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. What does the jargon-based term "frictionless, user-centric" really mean? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We constantly visualize social-network-based e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of J++ and RDF. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. Think front-end. Think subscriber-defined. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to grow.