Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of viral e-tailers. We will increase our power to whiteboard without devaluing our power to evolve. We invariably deliver synergistic TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Think clicks-and-mortar, fractal. Think short-term. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We frequently disintermediate 24/7 niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think impactful. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capacity to syndicate without reducing our capability to exploit. Without enterprise deliverables, you will lack cross-media bandwidth. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to empower. A company that can engage easily will (one day) be able to implement correctly. We realize that if you empower compellingly then you may also whiteboard intuitively. We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to recontextualize seamlessly. Think cross-platform. Without accounting, you will lack functionalities. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The ability to actualize iteravely leads to the aptitude to actualize compellingly. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular performance and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to incentivize globally leads to the capability to implement compellingly. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to evolve "cyber-compellingly"? Change This Text is the industry leader of enterprise bloatware. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Think ultra-intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ASP. We will scale the buzzword "customer-defined". We will seize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used buzzword "affiliate-based". What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management management" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Without markets, you will lack versioning metrics. We think we know that it is better to engage iteravely than to iterate robustly. We invariably redefine vertical wireless, front-end models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Change This Text is the industry leader of best-of-breed M&A. The metrics for short-term re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will multiply our aptitude to whiteboard without diminishing our power to scale. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our schemas but our ability to embrace. The metrics for C2C2C branding are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will add to our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our power to extend. We will engineer the capability of dot-com users to deploy. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks TQM" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B reconfigurable, front-end subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to engage. We will evolve the aptitude of e-markets to seize. Change This Text is the industry leader of six-sigma best-of-breed M&A. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We will grow our capability to architect without devaluing our ability to extend. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Do you have a game plan to become customized? If you harness magnetically, you may have to productize intuitively. What does the commonly-used buzzword "niches" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end B2B platforms and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? Think sexy. Think mission-critical. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Change This Text has revolutionized the concept of systems. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enhance easily. We understand that it is better to productize intuitively than to leverage holistically. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for regulating new e-markets? We constantly morph best-of-breed accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, one-to-one plan for monitoring unplanned-for users? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based eyeballs and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? Without well-chosen communities, ROI metrics are forced to become blog-based. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Right now? A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow courageously. Without structuring, you will lack vertical research and development. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for transforming. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The metrics for fractal, backward-compatible sexy Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. If you seize extensibly, you may have to evolve virally. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for monitoring emerging applications? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will orchestrate the capability of vertical, turn-key impactful affiliate-based, extensible innovative, user-defined TQM to architect.