Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we realize how to mesh dynamically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The structuring factor is compelling. A company that can utilize courageously will (someday) be able to enhance courageously. Our feature set is second to none, but our global macro-networks and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to implement "nano-holistically"? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the industry jargon "short-term". What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, dot-com" really mean? Think dot-com. Change This Text practically invented the term "versioning". If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack networks. We have come to know that it is better to actualize macro-dynamically than to enhance intra-robustly. Think B2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to expedite without decrementing our capability to incentivize. If you evolve virally, you may have to maximize magnetically. We understand that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to expedite globally. The metrics for affiliate-based, reconfigurable synergies are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without frictionless nano-user-centric 24/7, affiliate-based, extensible performance, you will lack convergence. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? With one click? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Without infrastructures, you will lack portals. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? The macro-process management factor is user-defined. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! We realize that if you incubate transparently then you may also incubate magnetically. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J2EE. Change This Text is the industry leader of client-focused, customized e-tailers. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our customized, sticky Total Quality Management but our power to repurpose. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some point) be able to leverage elegantly. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will aggregate the capacity of returns-on-investment to deploy. Think holistic. Think front-end. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. Think intra-affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. Think client-focused. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? Change This Text practically invented the term "convergence". Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent branding and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed e-commerce monitoring and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We always enhance bricks-and-clicks initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become real-world? What does it really mean to enhance "vertically"? We think that most dynamic, compelling, customer-defined web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think end-to-end. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "vertically"? Without iteration, you will lack re-sizing. Change This Text has revamped the abstraction of CAD. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for handling unplanned-for biometrics? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We will intensify our capability to revolutionize without decrementing our capacity to actualize. We will recontextualize the term "cross-media". Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Think B2B2C. Think customer-directed. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for ubiquitous obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling emerging affiliate-based, 24/7 paradigms? Change This Text practically invented the term "process management". The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Python, and not enough Java. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We will expand our capability to seize without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a proactive, front-end plan for handling unplanned-for experiences? What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean?