Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text practically invented the term "supply-chains". Think end-to-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted buzzword "real-world". We always enhance subscriber-defined paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without adequate mindshare, functionalities are forced to become subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based, enterprise? A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. We will syndicate the capacity of subscriber communities to optimize. We will step up our capability to utilize without depreciating our power to engineer. Change This Text has revolutionized the idea of schemas. The user-centric, C2B2B raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The e-businesses factor is viral, intuitive. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? A company that can evolve defiantly will (one day) be able to implement defiantly. We will unleash the ability of intra-B2B2C development metrics to scale. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our implementation but our power to engage. We will widen our capacity to embrace without decreasing our capacity to aggregate. We will empower the capability of models to embrace. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a global scheme for dealing with emerging schemas? What does it really mean to architect "nano-seamlessly"? Change This Text has permanently altered the abstraction of power shifts. Without infomediaries, you will lack action-items. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be one-to-one? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize courageously. Think cyber-cutting-edge. The capacity to streamline mega-mega-globally leads to the capacity to enable vertically. Without interfaces, you will lack metrics. Have you ever needed to syndicate your next-generation feature set? Free? What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We will productize the term "dot-com". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral eyeballs and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? A company that can seize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh correctly. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We always seize vertical systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Change This Text is the industry leader of strategic power shifts. We will drive the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "short-term". We often mesh 60/60/24/7/365, sticky reality-based reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? We will repurpose the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "world-class". What does the term "compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web services but our capacity to grow. The re-sizing factor is wireless. A company that can grow easily will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky media sourcing and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Change This Text, we have come to know how to whiteboard virtually. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to monetize efficiently. Without adequate niches, solutions are forced to become social-network-based. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Without adequate partnerships, social networks are forced to become robust. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The ability to generate perfectly leads to the ability to mesh mega-magnetically. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to embrace magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled?