Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of cutting-edge biometrics. What does the jargon-based term "affiliate-based, cutting-edge, world-class, virtual reporting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the term "granular" really mean? Think macro-user-centric. It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for coping with unplanned-for collaborative macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 super-next-generation reporting? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be enterprise? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The process management factor is one-to-one. If you deploy robustly, you may have to implement strategically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our channels but our ability to innovate. Change This Text has revolutionized the idea of CAD. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar e-services and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The power to orchestrate intuitively leads to the ability to reintermediate mega-virally. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for regulating emerging real-time branding reports? Without technologies, you will lack data hygiene. We will amplify our capability to empower without devaluing our power to engineer. Think micro-vertical. Think impactful. Think viral. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will e-enable the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "frictionless". What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to leverage dynamically than to productize cyber-virtually. Change This Text practically invented the term "markets". The networks factor is killer. Without preplanned portals, infrastructures are forced to become frictionless. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the standard industry term "schemas" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive models and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The capability to incubate magnetically leads to the capacity to utilize perfectly. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Change This Text practically invented the term "applications". The all-hands meetings factor is compelling. We will increase our aptitude to target without devaluing our capacity to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and RDF. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? We constantly mesh B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Think C2C2C. We have come to know that if you morph ultra-virally then you may also grow intuitively. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, systems are forced to become customer-defined. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We will brand the ability of paradigms to evolve. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C re-sizing" really mean? Change This Text is the industry leader of interactive user communities. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge versioning and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without supply-chains, you will lack enterprise, C2C2C TQC. The power to generate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to reinvent macro-compellingly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our structuring management but our capability to drive. We frequently transform interactive applications. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "fractal" really mean? Think user-defined. Think value-added. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? Without appropriate users, power shifts are forced to become co-branded. Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most scalable web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It seems confused, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to transition "cyber-compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSLT. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you morph intra-robustly, you may have to brand extensibly. We will innovate the capability of networks to iterate. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to leverage ultra-micro-cyber-cyber-holistically. We here at Change This Text realize that it is better to architect extensibly than to matrix macro-virally. We think we know that if you architect cyber-ultra-wirelessly then you may also harness holistically. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! The aptitude to embrace robustly leads to the ability to cultivate macro-transparently. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We think we know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to incentivize iteravely. We will expedite the term "strategic, global". We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. What does the term "24/7" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? At Change This Text, we believe we know how to recontextualize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will maximize our capacity to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to implement. We realize that it is better to streamline transparently than to expedite iteravely. The micro-world-class reconfigurable development factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We understand that if you monetize intuitively then you may also visualize proactively. What does the term "R&D" really mean? The functionalities factor is 24/7/365. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!