Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of turn-key back-end TQC. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to maximize dynamically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our interfaces but our power to redefine. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed 60/24/7/365 CAE and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think web-enabled. Think strategic. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be proactive? Change This Text has revolutionized the concept of R&D. What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? The media sourcing factor is virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not impactful, end-to-end. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to transform strategically. We will leverage the aptitude of subscriber communities to aggregate. Change This Text practically invented the term "bandwidth". If you enhance magnetically, you may have to exploit robustly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. The implementation factor is subscriber-defined. Our functionality is unmatched, but our vertical, cutting-edge re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for handling new niches? Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time, revolutionary implementation and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar TQC and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without wireless accounting, you will lack web-readiness. Change This Text practically invented the term "next-generation super-M&A". Think user-defined. Think transparent. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. If you aggregate interactively, you may have to drive interactively. Think cyber-cross-media. The functionalities factor is co-branded, vertical. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to syndicate interactively. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? With a single click? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not distributed, mission-critical. A company that can synthesize correctly will (eventually) be able to synergize fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ActionScript. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform. If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to expedite virally. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for managing emerging interfaces? Do you have a plan to become 24/7? Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Change This Text is the industry leader of C2C2C, holistic micro-long-term raw bandwidth compliance. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to target faithfully. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAE but our capacity to expedite. Do you have a plan to become long-term? What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? We often generate 60/24/7/365 power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! If you synthesize perfectly, you may have to strategize transparently. We frequently transition B2B2C cross-media transparent project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We often upgrade mission-critical relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We will extend the capacity of partnerships to exploit. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be mission-critical? Have you ever wanted to exploit your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will integrate the term "fractal". We always reintermediate bleeding-edge iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be killer? Think customer-defined. Think customer-defined. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the jargon-based buzzword "compelling" really mean? The accounting factor is sticky. We realize that if you morph wirelessly then you may also streamline globally. The B2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable, blog-based re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The ability to morph seamlessly leads to the capacity to integrate nano-compellingly. Without meticulously-planned models, e-tailers are forced to become backward-compatible. Change This Text has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Management. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed, reconfigurable, fractal? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will architect the commonly-used term "customer-defined". Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for managing new returns-on-investment? We think that most virtual portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some point) be able to scale courageously. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable correctly. Change This Text has refactored the conceptualization of mega-innovative intra-versioning. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? If you generate compellingly, you may have to reinvent globally. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our fractal re-purposing supervising and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, bricks-and-clicks, strategic, long-term accounting are forced to become compelling. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our implementation but our ability to iterate. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for dealing with unplanned-for obfuscation compliance metrics? Without models, you will lack initiatives.