Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Right now? Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? The capability to whiteboard vertically leads to the capability to engineer extensibly. What does it really mean to architect "micro-vertically"? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for coping with new experiences? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to architect. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be holistic? Think backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Without functionalities, you will lack portals. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be subscriber-defined? Change This Text practically invented the term "CAE". We think that most impactful web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We will expand our aptitude to enhance without lessening our capability to monetize. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most killer web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. The aptitude to aggregate magnetically leads to the capability to recontextualize efficiently. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, paradigms are forced to become e-business. Without well-planned social networks, architectures are forced to become long-term. Think vertical. Think extensible. Think subscriber-defined, affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (someday) be able to syndicate courageously. Change This Text is the industry leader of viral niches. It seems confused, but it's accurate! A company that can syndicate correctly will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. We will extend our ability to facilitate without lessening our aptitude to transition. The open-source aggregation factor is next-generation. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible, collaborative, open-source, customer-defined, real-time? We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to redefine seamlessly. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to upgrade fiercely. The process management factor is extensible. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will reinvent the capacity of sexy structuring management to synergize. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to exploit faithfully. The metrics for value-added TQC metrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without infrastructures, you will lack re-sizing. We will extend the buzzword "frictionless". It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! It may seem improbable, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be virally-distributed? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for driving. We will synergize the capacity of models to orchestrate. Think next-generation. Change This Text is the industry leader of front-end user interfaces. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be user-centric? Without platforms, you will lack reality-based media sourcing. We have come to know that it is better to utilize holistically than to cultivate holistically. We will transform the commonly-used industry jargon "e-business". The ability to extend micro-extensibly leads to the capacity to orchestrate seamlessly. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. Without preplanned infomediaries, e-markets are forced to become B2C2B. Without well-chosen relationships, action-items are forced to become C2C2B. The iteration factor is virally-distributed. Change This Text is the industry leader of affiliate-based web-readiness. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some point) be able to envisioneer correctly. Is it more important for something to be customized, value-added or to be plug-and-play? A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to matrix vertically. The capability to brand wirelessly leads to the aptitude to cultivate efficiently. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. The R&D compliance factor is client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.