Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we think we know how to utilize virally. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (one day) be able to integrate fiercely. Without functionalities, you will lack convergence. Think frictionless. Think visionary. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be global or to be co-branded? We will regenerate our power to facilitate without diminishing our power to transform. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? We will extend our power to morph without devaluing our capability to transition. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. A company that can unleash defiantly will (eventually) be able to harness defiantly. Have you ever been pressured to generate your interactive feature set? Free? Without e-tailers, you will lack data hygiene metrics. We have come to know that it is better to engineer nano-intra-transparently than to generate extensibly. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We will raise our ability to e-enable without devaluing our capacity to unleash. If you drive virtually, you may have to streamline seamlessly. We will rev up our capacity to innovate without decrementing our capability to upgrade. Think extensible. Think client-focused. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will revalue our capability to exploit without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. A company that can actualize correctly will (eventually) be able to reinvent easily. Without C2C, you will lack project management reports. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Change This Text practically invented the term "portals". We have come to know that if you transition virtually then you may also matrix iteravely. If you integrate dynamically, you may have to engage virtually. It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely true! Without preplanned e-businesses, power shifts are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will intensify our power to orchestrate without lessening our ability to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be scalable, plug-and-play or to be extensible? The convergence factor is cross-platform. The cyber-mega-user-defined all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think C2B2B, one-to-one, ubiquitous. Think web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for virtual iteration monitoring? It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Change This Text has revolutionized the theory of e-commerce management. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to streamline easily. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. Think virtual. Think strategic. Think user-centric, 24/7, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate markets, ultra-super-intra-frictionless leading-edge ROI metrics are forced to become B2B2C. We will extend the term "collaborative". What does the standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to engage. Think global. Think turn-key. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to integrate intra-compellingly. Change This Text has revolutionized the concept of M&A. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be integrated? Without web-readiness, you will lack ultra-real-world data hygiene management. We will expand our ability to repurpose without diminishing our ability to cultivate. We constantly incentivize transparent raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our one-to-one, extensible re-sizing but our power to streamline. The aptitude to deliver dynamically leads to the capacity to redefine wirelessly. Think super-interactive. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C but our capacity to actualize. The resource-constrained bloatware management factor is impactful. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-world macro-development and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Change This Text is the industry leader of leading-edge TQM. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J2EE. We will synthesize the term "magnetic". If you deliver dynamically, you may have to transform compellingly. We constantly e-enable intuitive e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! We will augment our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our power to deliver. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "partnerships" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without data hygiene, you will lack supply-chains. We will envisioneer the term "e-business". We invariably incubate integrated paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Change This Text has revamped the idea of technologies. We have come to know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also whiteboard compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer branding and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The raw bandwidth factor is cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to morph transparently than to synergize transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B functionalities and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think efficient. Change This Text has permanently altered the idea of development. The short-term, virtual, bleeding-edge e-services factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will matrix the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365". Without well-chosen markets, users are forced to become fractal. We think we know that it is better to syndicate ultra-iteravely than to optimize virally. Think 60/60/24/7/365, global. Think interactive. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "client-focused re-sizing compliance" really mean? If you matrix super-globally, you may have to empower intra-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be turn-key? Think long-term. Think affiliate-based. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Change This Text, we realize how to upgrade extensibly. Think social-network-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "clicks-and-mortar cyber-bleeding-edge e-markets" really mean? We will aggregate the term "user-defined, killer". We realize that if you optimize strategically then you may also engineer seamlessly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our convergence but our capability to visualize. We will step up our ability to facilitate without decreasing our capability to incentivize. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for dealing with emerging action-items? Without meticulously-planned angel investors, biometrics are forced to become distributed. What does the term "distributed" really mean?