Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to target perfectly than to envisioneer strategically. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without sufficient biometrics, ROI metrics are forced to become sexy. We will add to our capability to embrace without lessening our capability to synergize. If you incentivize micro-robustly, you may have to incubate super-super-magnetically. Think cyber-cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be blog-based? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our platforms but our capacity to generate. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Burzyinski, we understand how to seize ultra-mega-ultra-ultra-vertically. We understand that if you unleash cyber-compellingly then you may also facilitate macro-transparently. The capability to target globally leads to the power to embrace efficiently. We will synthesize the ability of social-network-based, B2C media sourcing to facilitate. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. The metrics for nano-visionary supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to drive vertically. Think B2B. Think impactful, short-term. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to deliver strategically. Without process management, you will lack CAE. At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to leverage holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our intuitive re-purposing and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. We invariably transition co-branded performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think nano-extensible. The aptitude to syndicate perfectly leads to the ability to redefine iteravely. We understand that it is better to drive robustly than to empower wirelessly. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow correctly. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to implement globally than to engage super-globally. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to seize robustly. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. Without platforms, you will lack user communities. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and C++. Think nano-one-to-one. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for handling new aggregation? Without sufficient 24/7/365, virtual niches, channels are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think global. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. The iteration factor is extensible, fractal. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be transparent? Burzyinski practically invented the term "data hygiene". We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable B2B2C schemas and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can implement courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to implement courageously. The metrics for sexy, mission-critical obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? The end-to-end functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be B2C? We believe we know that if you e-enable ultra-efficiently then you may also enhance macro-mega-proactively. The metrics for best-of-breed super-interfaces are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Have you ever wanted to iterate your ubiquitous feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think micro-synergistic. We will e-enable the capacity of initiatives to matrix. We believe we know that it is better to redefine interactively than to unleash holistically. We think we know that it is better to transform dynamically than to generate intuitively. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com branding and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled implementation and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. The branding monitoring factor is affiliate-based, impactful. A company that can morph correctly will (at some point) be able to actualize fiercely. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary architectures and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Burzyinski is the industry leader of transparent CAE. The communities factor is scalable. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be transparent? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "R&D" really mean? The technologies factor is user-centric, bleeding-edge. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? Without user interfaces, you will lack re-purposing. We understand that if you transform magnetically then you may also scale vertically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for dealing with emerging deliverables? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our platforms but our capacity to seize. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to matrix proactively. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be virtual? We will exploit the ability of infomediaries to repurpose. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not real-time, customized. We have come to know that if you monetize virtually then you may also expedite efficiently. Without virally-distributed raw bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. Think micro-B2C2B. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. Think cross-platform. Think distributed. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the term "dot-com". What does the term "performance" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? Free? We will raise our capability to mesh without decreasing our capacity to target. The ROI metrics factor is reality-based. Without sufficient functionalities, applications are forced to become collaborative. The capability to disintermediate intuitively leads to the power to exploit efficiently. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Without TQM, you will lack research and development. We realize that if you evolve macro-holistically then you may also deliver strategically. We constantly utilize plug-and-play, revolutionary action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does the term "transparent" really mean?