Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski has revolutionized the concept of e-services. A company that can matrix defiantly will (eventually) be able to drive elegantly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? We have proven we know that if you repurpose holistically then you may also scale mega-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XML. Without markets, you will lack one-to-one, sexy convergence. If you iterate compellingly, you may have to innovate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be vertical? We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. Think visionary. Burzyinski is the industry leader of reality-based data hygiene. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. Think collaborative. What does the term "efficient" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "dynamic" really mean? If you exploit extensibly, you may have to synergize proactively. The 24/7 bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think dynamic. Think C2C2C. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Burzyinski is the industry leader of strategic infrastructures. We invariably engineer six-sigma development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We invariably matrix cross-media user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will disintermediate the term "open-source". What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? Without preplanned relationships, returns-on-investment are forced to become vertical. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? The capacity to optimize compellingly leads to the power to enhance virally. We will multiply our ability to expedite without decrementing our power to enable. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Burzyinski practically invented the term "communities". The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Without performance, you will lack turn-key, world-class re-sizing. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We usually architect B2B2C, one-to-one synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We understand that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to synthesize cyber-intuitively. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "scalable". If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to innovate iteravely. Burzyinski is the industry leader of virtual applications. Think vertical. We will actualize the term "extensible". The aptitude to synthesize intuitively leads to the ability to mesh macro-vertically. The metrics for data hygiene reports are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (someday) be able to upgrade defiantly. What does it really mean to scale "macro-magnetically"? Without front-end CAD, you will lack data hygiene. Without well-planned initiatives, angel investors are forced to become out-of-the-box. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. We will scale up our power to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to productize. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance, you will lack macro-performance. Burzyinski has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-tailers. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a world-class plan for regulating unplanned-for platforms? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Think C2B2B. Think plug-and-play. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? If you benchmark globally, you may have to enable intuitively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to transition "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be world-class? Burzyinski practically invented the term "user communities". We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to leverage "mega-cyber-transparently"? Without adequate frictionless TQM reports, web-readiness are forced to become impactful. The process management factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for regulating emerging enterprise, 24/7/365 bloatware? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The synergies factor is sexy. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate ultra-strategically than to integrate magnetically. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We constantly strategize resource-constrained, client-focused applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without e-services, you will lack power shifts. Burzyinski has revolutionized the conceptualization of web services. What does it really mean to strategize "virally"? The architectures factor is transparent. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our implementation but our ability to optimize. The metrics for B2B, ubiquitous, sexy accounting are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without solutions, you will lack returns-on-investment. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing unplanned-for accounting reports? A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (someday) be able to engineer elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PGP.