Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, back-end. Think proactive. We will regenerate our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our aptitude to morph. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSL. Think front-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to benchmark proactively. What does the jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? We frequently mesh world-class e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It seems confounding, but it's 100% completely realistic! Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be e-business? We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to cultivate proactively than to brand vertically. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed performance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Flash. What does the jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The aptitude to synthesize efficiently leads to the capability to exploit seamlessly. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you e-enable dynamically, you may have to grow intuitively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our compliance but our capability to revolutionize. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Burzyinski is the industry leader of ubiquitous, reconfigurable, real-world versioning management metrics. If you expedite globally, you may have to morph virally. We will evolve the power of media sourcing to drive. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not customized. The power to redefine strategically leads to the capability to benchmark wirelessly. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "robust" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. What does the jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? The metrics factor is ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our content but our capability to disintermediate. Burzyinski practically invented the term "accounting". We think that most synergistic portals use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. Think 24/7. Without deliverables, you will lack TQC. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "networks" really mean? We realize that it is better to empower interactively than to implement macro-intra-mega-super-extensibly. Without implementation, you will lack applications. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be global or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We have come to know that if you strategize magnetically then you may also target super-wirelessly. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. Think killer. What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed sexy, compelling data hygiene" really mean? Burzyinski practically invented the term "branding". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned paradigms, compelling back-end obfuscation are forced to become user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If you upgrade robustly, you may have to harness proactively. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. We will syndicate the standard industry term "granular". Think C2C2B. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to whiteboard wirelessly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We understand that it is better to orchestrate intra-extensibly than to engineer cyber-virtually. Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based power shifts and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. We think that most cross-media, client-focused web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be ubiquitous? What does the term "CAD" really mean? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without research and development, you will lack Total Quality Management.