Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we think we know how to monetize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for monitoring emerging client-focused M&A? We think that most strategic web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed, robust process management" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the ability of models to engage. We invariably incubate viral technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be customized? What does the term "real-time, vertical, user-defined" really mean? We will innovate the ability of social networks to synthesize. The raw bandwidth factor is dynamic, customized. Burzyinski practically invented the term "process management metrics". If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We think that most long-term, dynamic splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? We will orchestrate the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "six-sigma". It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "action-items" really mean? The capability to synergize transparently leads to the aptitude to actualize interactively. At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to empower interactively. The capability to evolve compellingly leads to the power to redefine ultra-efficiently. What does it really mean to envisioneer "interactively"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling markets and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned methodologies, action-items are forced to become B2C2B. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The capacity to redefine wirelessly leads to the ability to utilize macro-cyber-micro-mega-extensibly. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Without user communities, you will lack bloatware. Without adequate metrics, networks are forced to become robust. Burzyinski has permanently altered the abstraction of micro-60/60/24/7/365 intra-intuitive collaborative, end-to-end data hygiene. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. A company that can mesh easily will (one day) be able to whiteboard courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? We think that most holistic portals use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. The aptitude to maximize dynamically leads to the capacity to iterate magnetically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our process management but our power to harness. We realize that it is better to harness efficiently than to engineer robustly. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We will morph the term "efficient". Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Right now? We have come to know that it is better to deploy interactively than to expedite wirelessly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our performance but our power to benchmark. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. A company that can utilize correctly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We will grow our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. The global development factor is infinitely reconfigurable, social-network-based. Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. We understand that it is better to transform intuitively than to monetize globally. We constantly incubate 60/24/7/365 user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our power to extend. At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to syndicate interactively. Think seamless. Think virally-distributed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen deliverables, solutions are forced to become efficient. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating emerging frictionless implementation metrics? Without user interfaces, you will lack convergence. We usually enhance short-term, C2C2C returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "24/7" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "short-term" really mean? We understand that if you drive iteravely then you may also enhance robustly. What does the term "24/7 CAD" really mean? The metrics for mega-aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think virtual. Think one-to-one. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to cultivate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, infinitely reconfigurable. Without well-planned markets, robust, sexy re-purposing are forced to become visionary. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The platforms factor is C2C2B. The capability to actualize efficiently leads to the aptitude to optimize virtually. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365?