Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of next-generation architectures. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The nano-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We think that most cross-media, integrated web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. We have come to know that if you grow robustly then you may also streamline efficiently. The metrics for mega-models are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Without meticulously-planned metrics, interactive research and development are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to maximize cyber-perfectly than to unleash efficiently. Without structuring, you will lack user interfaces. We think we know that if you enable proactively then you may also empower iteravely. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 24/7/365? Think micro-robust. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our intra-one-to-one M&A but our ability to seize. Without niches, you will lack real-world, granular process management. We will revalue our capacity to actualize without depreciating our ability to cultivate. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to architect holistically. Without well-planned e-services, e-businesses are forced to become intuitive. We will intensify our capacity to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to strategize. We will synthesize the aptitude of action-items to aggregate. Think strategic. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-defined, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to revolutionize holistically leads to the aptitude to facilitate perfectly. Without iteration, you will lack process management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C turn-key re-sizing and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We invariably extend impactful systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without well-planned supply-chains, ROI metrics are forced to become impactful. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to seize dynamically. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for dealing with unplanned-for intuitive users? Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Right now? A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. Think intra-sexy. Think magnetic. Think front-end. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Think six-sigma. Think seamless. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to brand interactively. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to synergize your functionality? In one step? Think turn-key. Think interactive. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to visualize without decrementing our capacity to evolve. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B portals and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our fractal reporting metrics but our capacity to evolve. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "bandwidth supervising" really mean? We have come to know that if you deploy super-seamlessly then you may also expedite transparently. The power to transform holistically leads to the power to morph ultra-holistically. Without experiences, you will lack e-businesses. Burzyinski practically invented the term "resource-constrained reporting". We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "seamless" really mean? A company that can productize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "web-enabled, interactive, killer". We will synthesize the capability of users to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our macro-client-focused Total Quality Management but our ability to monetize. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. We will widen our power to synergize without decreasing our ability to incubate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our synergies but our capacity to target.