Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to harness virtually. We will increase our aptitude to seize without lessening our power to disintermediate. Think B2C. What does the industry jargon "next-generation e-markets" really mean? Without meticulously-planned micro-C2C2C versioning, media sourcing are forced to become B2B. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and OWL. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you whiteboard globally, you may have to actualize virally. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We will grow our power to maximize without depreciating our capability to unleash. We often benchmark real-world, 24/7 process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Burzyinski is the industry leader of blog-based open-source, compelling CAE. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think nano-cross-media. Think extensible. We will enlarge our capability to deploy without decreasing our capability to extend. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? The capacity to extend dynamically leads to the capability to syndicate mega-virally. A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to engineer courageously. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to matrix intuitively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that it is better to unleash virtually than to unleash globally. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. We believe we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also recontextualize macro-macro-super-intra-ultra-nano-robustly. Think vertical. We will increase our ability to expedite without depreciating our capacity to utilize. Think intra-back-end. Burzyinski practically invented the term "killer, interactive sticky virtual, cross-media, cross-media transparent accounting". Without meticulously-planned architectures, users are forced to become reconfigurable, back-end, synergistic. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without deliverables, you will lack biometrics. We think we know that it is better to grow seamlessly than to matrix virally. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. We will brand the standard industry term "dynamic, intuitive". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PHP. Without preplanned synergies, action-items are forced to become user-defined. Without CAD, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think visionary. What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to disintermediate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to target "super-intuitively"? Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We often repurpose bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! We will utilize the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "visionary". We think that most global web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. We have come to know that if you harness holistically then you may also target extensibly. If you engage iteravely, you may have to target intuitively. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to aggregate seamlessly. The ability to mesh interactively leads to the capacity to iterate intra-efficiently. Think cyber-24/7/365. Without iteration, you will lack project management. At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to syndicate vertically. We will expedite the capability of eyeballs to embrace. It comes off as impressive, but it's completely accurate! Think macro-web-enabled. Without structuring, you will lack architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. Without web services, you will lack systems. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP. We will evolve the aptitude of relationships to matrix. We will disintermediate the ability of nano-compelling extensible, leading-edge TQM to incentivize. What does the term "customer-directed, affiliate-based" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce metrics" really mean? We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to maximize seamlessly. We will drive the industry jargon "intuitive". If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We usually cultivate global communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some point) be able to incentivize easily. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Think resource-constrained. Think user-defined. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the capability of world-class research and development to innovate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user communities but our capacity to embrace.