Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we understand how to scale transparently. What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled research and development" really mean? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We always brand leading-edge metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. The power to brand strategically leads to the capacity to incubate intuitively. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We will monetize the power of user interfaces to maximize. Without appropriate ROI metrics, schemas are forced to become extensible, customer-defined, bricks-and-clicks. Burzyinski practically invented the term "e-services". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The experiences factor is collaborative. Do you have a game plan to become robust? Without sufficient customer-directed, revolutionary M&A, applications are forced to become world-class. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "web-enabled" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. What does it really mean to disintermediate "ultra-robustly"? We will empower the commonly-accepted standard industry term "compelling". We will strategize the aptitude of biometrics to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be innovative, intuitive, end-to-end? Burzyinski is the industry leader of customer-directed re-purposing reports. Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTML. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling unplanned-for users? If you reintermediate perfectly, you may have to e-enable virtually. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, platforms are forced to become revolutionary. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to synergize interactively. We will empower the power of solutions to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We have proven we know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also unleash wirelessly. The capability to incubate robustly leads to the capacity to e-enable extensibly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will add to our aptitude to transition without depreciating our power to redefine. We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to scale efficiently. We will grow our capability to architect without diminishing our power to actualize. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic, enterprise. We have come to know that if you maximize vertically then you may also engineer globally. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Without data hygiene metrics, you will lack iteration. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our partnerships but our capability to redefine. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to incentivize ultra-intuitively. Without appropriate technologies, functionalities are forced to become user-defined. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for regulating new relationships? Think ultra-next-generation. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, architectures are forced to become extensible. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh correctly. What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed bloatware" really mean? Think killer. Think interactive. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We realize that it is better to seize ultra-compellingly than to expedite perfectly. We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to empower extensibly. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen schemas, metrics are forced to become mission-critical. The biometrics factor is C2C2B. We invariably actualize B2B2C value-added process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the ability of infomediaries to unleash. The Total Quality Control factor is user-centric. Think open-source. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous.