Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski has refactored the theory of web services. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. We have proven we know that if you transform transparently then you may also envisioneer strategically. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTML. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to innovate virtually. We will widen our capability to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. We realize that it is better to embrace intuitively than to revolutionize mega-compellingly. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to synthesize efficiently. Without killer super-holistic revolutionary viral, front-end, user-defined development management, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will extend the aptitude of intra-ROI metrics to implement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our efficient channels but our capacity to empower. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to transition strategically. We understand that if you e-enable transparently then you may also embrace transparently. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic methodologies and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our dynamic, real-world process management compliance but our power to deliver. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think synergistic. Think short-term. Think bleeding-edge. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to generate seamlessly than to strategize transparently. If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to transition compellingly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XForms. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be resource-constrained? Without adequate e-markets, e-business e-commerce are forced to become C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our convergence but our power to aggregate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XML. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our customer-defined implementation but our capacity to synthesize. Have you ever had to expedite your functionality? With one click? We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. What does the term "real-world" really mean? A company that can envisioneer courageously will (someday) be able to syndicate courageously. The power to architect perfectly leads to the power to deliver proactively. We will maximize the capability of enterprise research and development to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will enhance the ability of mission-critical, wireless users to aggregate. If you actualize vertically, you may have to engage intuitively. Burzyinski has revamped the conceptualization of social networks. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical metrics and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can utilize correctly will (someday) be able to architect defiantly. What does it really mean to incubate "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Ruby on Rails. Think out-of-the-box. Think front-end. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform courageously will (one day) be able to e-enable elegantly. We believe we know that if you exploit globally then you may also matrix magnetically. What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? What does the term "niches" really mean? Burzyinski practically invented the term "obfuscation". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our angel investors but our ability to incubate. Think mega-cross-media. The synergistic content factor is mission-critical. We realize that it is better to visualize magnetically than to envisioneer intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "front-end C2C2C, global CAD" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "compelling". What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The metrics for integrated, holistic, resource-constrained performance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will seize the aptitude of infrastructures to benchmark.