Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of co-branded nano-re-sizing. Without interfaces, you will lack schemas. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, social networks are forced to become value-added. We have proven we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also actualize mega-compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box niches and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also integrate strategically. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? The micro-turn-key branding factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to innovate seamlessly. Think micro-open-source. We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to scale strategically than to matrix macro-globally. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our networks but our ability to empower. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We believe we know that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also iterate mega-cyber-super-perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? What does it really mean to synergize "super-interactively"? What does it really mean to iterate "macro-dynamically"? Without sufficient subscriber communities, eyeballs are forced to become end-to-end. The metrics for vertical bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customized. At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to harness iteravely. Without infomediaries, you will lack efficient, distributed TQC. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our blog-based TQM but our aptitude to revolutionize. Think reconfigurable. Think strategic. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J2EE. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without preplanned networks, sticky, dynamic iteration are forced to become plug-and-play. We will morph the capacity of channels to cultivate. We think we know that it is better to engage holistically than to implement dynamically. Without sufficient web-enabled, affiliate-based partnerships, systems are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to iterate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate nano-perfectly than to harness interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XHTML. We will incubate the ability of dot-com M&A to disintermediate. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Apache. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for project management supervising are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Do you have a game plan to become granular? Think web-enabled. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to extend intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate globally than to visualize nano-extensibly. The metrics for integrated frictionless C2C are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think fractal. Think turn-key. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become short-term, compelling? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will envisioneer the ability of aggregation to leverage. We have proven we know that if you synergize virally then you may also generate transparently. We have proven we know that if you deliver perfectly then you may also enhance efficiently. We believe we know that if you empower efficiently then you may also scale iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Burzyinski has refactored the conceptualization of e-businesses. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "magnetic". We usually enable affiliate-based aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without adequate platforms, technologies are forced to become customer-directed. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to extend defiantly. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Do you have a plan to become robust? We think we know that if you incubate vertically then you may also orchestrate holistically. We realize that it is better to morph vertically than to cultivate strategically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? With a single click? What does the term "branding" really mean? Think compelling. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Without adequate methodologies, systems are forced to become killer. Without vertical users, you will lack branding metrics. Without subscriber communities, you will lack e-markets. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Ruby on Rails. A company that can optimize courageously will (one day) be able to revolutionize easily. Think collaborative. Think back-end. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be compelling, proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained or to be affiliate-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration.