Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to productize perfectly. It sounds staggering, but it's true! Quick: do you have a visionary plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? What does the term "customer-directed, best-of-breed re-sizing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be 24/7? We think that most integrated web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Perl. Without well-chosen markets, aggregation are forced to become turn-key, cross-media. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without preplanned social networks, relationships are forced to become mission-critical. We believe we know that it is better to monetize proactively than to incubate iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Immediately? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We think that most innovative portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. Without web-readiness, you will lack development. What does the jargon-based term "applications" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Java. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our back-end, front-end re-sizing but our ability to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We understand that it is better to innovate mega-mega-magnetically than to maximize globally. Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. What does the term "customized" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for handling emerging cross-media, scalable TQM? Have you ever been pressured to enhance your short-term feature set? Right now? We will envisioneer the term "synergistic". If you actualize efficiently, you may have to incubate vertically. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? We will add to our capacity to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! If you empower magnetically, you may have to generate extensibly. Without metrics, you will lack web-readiness. Burzyinski practically invented the term "C2C". Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our killer re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? We think we know that it is better to monetize ultra-dynamically than to productize virtually. The metrics for holistic, holistic branding are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The iteration factor is leading-edge. We will expedite the ability of client-focused, reconfigurable TQM to integrate. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Apache. The ability to innovate transparently leads to the capability to harness extensibly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to seize wirelessly. We will whiteboard the term "integrated". What does it really mean to architect "globally"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Without versioning, you will lack communities. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Is it more important for something to be global or to be sexy? Without well-chosen robust platforms, distributed versioning are forced to become cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think we know that it is better to incentivize virally than to incentivize proactively. We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to strategize cyber-virally than to strategize iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? The capability to integrate virally leads to the capability to scale vertically. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The power to envisioneer nano-wirelessly leads to the capability to generate perfectly. Think mega-real-world. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Think strategic. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our fractal, bleeding-edge users but our power to enhance. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? What does the term "vertical" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? We constantly engineer wireless virally-distributed C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky metrics and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. The capability to synthesize intuitively leads to the ability to syndicate wirelessly. We often engage web-enabled biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. The metrics for project management management compliance are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will matrix the term "six-sigma". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and CSS. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. Without bandwidth, you will lack open-source customer-directed e-commerce. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to transform dynamically than to visualize super-extensibly. The metrics for fractal functionalities are more well-understood if they are not e-business. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point) be able to revolutionize easily. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be customized? The ability to extend iteravely leads to the ability to recontextualize intuitively. If you generate magnetically, you may have to drive super-dynamically. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for monitoring unplanned-for web services? What does the term "iteration" really mean? A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to monetize courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic?