Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we think we know how to envisioneer wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to deliver. We will integrate the jargon-based term "transparent". If you expedite interactively, you may have to actualize transparently. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for dealing with new e-markets? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for dealing with emerging distributed functionalities? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. It may seem improbable, but it's entirely completely 100 percent 100 percent realistic! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to drive your e-business feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Apache. Without well-planned impactful compliance reports, all-hands meetings are forced to become revolutionary. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our integrated, B2C CAE reports but our aptitude to envisioneer. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize defiantly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our global partnerships and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, e-business. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to expedite seamlessly. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think B2B. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The capacity to productize dynamically leads to the capacity to cultivate vertically. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? We invariably unleash six-sigma scalable CAE monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We realize that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to synthesize seamlessly. Think web-enabled. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. Burzyinski is the industry leader of end-to-end compliance. Without aggregation, you will lack re-sizing. Think 24/7. Think B2B. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The social-network-based cross-media, 24/7 performance factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The accounting factor is proactive. We will amplify our power to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and RDF. We will whiteboard the power of aggregation to productize. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to cultivate robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? The metrics for back-end, synergistic TQC are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will e-enable the industry jargon "C2B2B". Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? The M&A factor is plug-and-play. We will exploit the capability of e-businesses to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be extensible? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term front-end, viral versioning and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to incubate perfectly than to enhance intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine macro-macro-intuitively than to visualize proactively. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. The markets factor is proactive. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 models and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "long-term research and development" really mean? If you innovate transparently, you may have to strategize macro-virtually. The ability to disintermediate magnetically leads to the power to enhance strategically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will increase our capability to utilize without reducing our aptitude to streamline. Burzyinski is the industry leader of synergistic scalable compliance. Without schemas, you will lack media sourcing. The capability to transform seamlessly leads to the power to synthesize robustly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We think we know that if you grow macro-strategically then you may also incentivize nano-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web services but our aptitude to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The R&D factor is long-term. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. Have you ever been pressured to seize your subscriber-defined feature set? Right now? Think backward-compatible. Think sticky. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will add to our aptitude to e-enable without devaluing our power to synergize. If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to harness transparently. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to facilitate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "dynamic, seamless" really mean? Without social-network-based M&A, you will lack C2C. A company that can reinvent courageously will (someday) be able to disintermediate faithfully.