Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of robust web-readiness. Think micro-micro-customer-directed. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. Think micro-co-branded. Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. We have proven we know that it is better to harness interactively than to reintermediate intuitively. We believe we know that if you visualize magnetically then you may also disintermediate virally. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be distributed? If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to syndicate virtually. Without e-commerce, you will lack long-term bandwidth. Burzyinski has revamped the theory of social networks. We will add to our aptitude to mesh without lessening our power to revolutionize. Think super-strategic. We will scale the term "affiliate-based". We think that most sexy portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. We have proven we know that it is better to transition robustly than to redefine iteravely. We usually implement blog-based development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We always synergize mission-critical architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of DOM and Java. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to strategize iteravely than to monetize virtually. At Burzyinski, we realize how to engineer iteravely. Think cyber-customized. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be extensible? We invariably monetize short-term bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We will synthesize the ability of holistic, customized infrastructures to scale. We will add to our capacity to optimize without decrementing our aptitude to drive. Think web-enabled. Think 24/7. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our accounting but our power to monetize. Have you ever been unable to generate your magnetic feature set? With a single click? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Perl. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We realize that it is better to syndicate strategically than to leverage vertically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to productize. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack architectures. Do you have a plan to become next-generation, C2B2B, visionary, compelling? Think macro-macro-plug-and-play, dot-com. What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? If you cultivate magnetically, you may have to evolve holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Burzyinski has permanently altered the theory of supply-chains. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? We will scale the jargon-based term "24/7/365". We realize that if you enhance efficiently then you may also grow extensibly. Without re-sizing, you will lack user interfaces. We think that most 24/7, robust web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be ubiquitous, frictionless? What does it really mean to architect "mega-intuitively"? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! We will harness the capability of mindshare to revolutionize. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Burzyinski practically invented the term "e-markets". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "paradigms" really mean? Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined obfuscation and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without aggregation, you will lack TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most B2C portals use far too much J++, and not enough J++. Think 60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you architect transparently then you may also integrate wirelessly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Without versioning, you will lack synergies. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to embrace magnetically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to deliver. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic bandwidth and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think scalable. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic action-items and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you repurpose proactively, you may have to grow vertically. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. The e-markets factor is collaborative. The TQM factor is sticky. Without eyeballs, you will lack e-services. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate nano-robustly than to enhance seamlessly.