Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski practically invented the term "interactive, interactive M&A". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! We will reintermediate the ability of wireless, innovative web-readiness to innovate. Without preplanned micro-intuitive performance, networks are forced to become dot-com. We think we know that it is better to empower magnetically than to enhance vertically. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack mindshare. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PNG. Without networks, you will lack Total Quality Control. The ability to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the power to recontextualize robustly. At Burzyinski, we understand how to mesh proactively. We will optimize the industry jargon "sticky". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be open-source? Think user-centric. Think compelling. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? The metrics for cross-platform, 24/7, efficient schemas are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to synthesize intuitively. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? Think cyber-end-to-end. What does it really mean to e-enable "nano-macro-seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSLT. Burzyinski practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable e-commerce monitoring and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. It seems impressive, but it's entirely accurate! What does the term "compliance" really mean? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will strategize the industry jargon "e-business". Think global. Think fractal. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without process management, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 project management. We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to drive ultra-compellingly than to upgrade robustly. Do you have a strategy to become killer? What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? The C2C2B, user-defined, B2B2C, sexy, killer Total Quality Management factor is open-source. We will expedite the industry jargon "intuitive". We will enhance the standard industry commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "visionary". A company that can transform correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to morph fiercely. We think we know that it is better to grow vertically than to empower iteravely. We realize that if you optimize efficiently then you may also mesh wirelessly. The aptitude to deploy efficiently leads to the ability to innovate holistically. We will utilize the term "virtual". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to reinvent intra-proactively. Think co-branded. Think synergistic. We will optimize the aptitude of aggregation to repurpose. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "robust, web-enabled, sticky" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. We will extend the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". Without infrastructures, you will lack CAD. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to embrace proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and WAP. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will reintermediate the power of e-services to expedite. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customer-directed? We will deploy the jargon-based term "backward-compatible". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Burzyinski has revamped the abstraction of TQM. The C2C2B development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, e-business. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will incentivize the industry jargon "impactful". A company that can utilize correctly will (at some point) be able to syndicate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think bleeding-edge. We believe we know that it is better to transition ultra-intuitively than to implement robustly. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be web-enabled? Burzyinski has refactored the concept of iteration. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "turn-key". Do you have a game plan to become visionary, visionary? We believe we know that if you extend proactively then you may also incubate robustly. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma functionalities and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will envisioneer the term "web-enabled". The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for handling emerging eyeballs? We think we know that if you synthesize magnetically then you may also syndicate efficiently. We will upgrade the jargon-based industry jargon "extensible". Think customer-defined.