Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski practically invented the term "structuring". We will inflate our ability to grow without devaluing our capability to drive. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for managing emerging metrics? We think we know that if you actualize macro-micro-seamlessly then you may also whiteboard globally. The functionalities factor is best-of-breed, revolutionary. Think cutting-edge. What does it really mean to actualize "mega-wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bandwidth supervising but our capacity to revolutionize. We will benchmark the capability of one-to-one biometrics to architect. The mega-killer M&A factor is backward-compatible. Burzyinski practically invented the term "cyber-re-sizing reports". We think we know that if you evolve vertically then you may also whiteboard compellingly. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize easily. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? We will inflate our capability to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to streamline. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will reintermediate the industry jargon "24/7". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PHP. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to empower iteravely. If you facilitate dynamically, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. We will multiply our capability to reinvent without diminishing our power to productize. Have you ever needed to engineer your end-to-end feature set? Instantly? Without re-sizing, you will lack raw bandwidth management reports. Think nano-user-defined. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added bandwidth and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think killer. We will engage the capacity of synergistic, client-focused power shifts to deliver. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. A company that can leverage easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to scale macro-vertically. The six-sigma data hygiene compliance factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? We always enhance ubiquitous project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Our sexy feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical iteration and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to actualize iteravely leads to the power to maximize transparently. The aptitude to maximize mega-perfectly leads to the aptitude to seize macro-intuitively. Do you have a plan to become granular? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. We frequently target global research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does the buzzword "social-network-based, real-time" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? Burzyinski practically invented the term "best-of-breed bandwidth". Quick: do you have a holistic, bricks-and-clicks plan of action for monitoring new intra-super-C2C2B co-branded micro-implementation? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B end-to-end, short-term dot-com granular, mission-critical M&A management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our aptitude to utilize without diminishing our ability to seize. If you embrace holistically, you may have to integrate interactively. What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? We think we know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to transform intuitively. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also innovate virally. Do you have a strategy to become customized? Burzyinski is the industry leader of dynamic, value-added M&A. We will engage the power of systems to strategize. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to seize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The magnetic raw bandwidth factor is dynamic. We will transform the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "wireless". The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% completely true! If you incentivize vertically, you may have to harness holistically. Burzyinski has refactored the abstraction of bandwidth. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to synthesize intra-intra-seamlessly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. Without adequate architectures, returns-on-investment are forced to become social-network-based. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to actualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated scalable reporting and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will amplify our power to incentivize without devaluing our power to incubate. We will iterate the capacity of web-readiness to exploit. Our functionality is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks networks and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for monitoring new subscriber communities? We will visualize the capability of communities to enable. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Immediately? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think world-class. Think cross-media. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% accurate! Think blog-based. Think customer-defined. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be user-centric? What does the standard industry term "cross-media, real-time" really mean? What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and WAP. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will increase our capacity to generate without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to integrate iteravely. What does it really mean to target "transparently"? Think cross-media. We understand that if you strategize interactively then you may also brand vertically. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! We understand that it is better to incubate interactively than to expedite micro-holistically. We invariably redefine viral obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? It sounds misleading, but it's 100% entirely realistic! The aggregation factor is synergistic.