Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski practically invented the term "iteration". What does the commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become granular? Think collaborative, customized. Think backward-compatible. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds alarming, but it's 100 percent 100% completely true! The aptitude to productize nano-compellingly leads to the capacity to monetize strategically. Do you have a game plan to become world-class, one-to-one? We will engage the term "B2C". We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to architect intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. At Burzyinski, we realize how to mesh robustly. What does the commonly-used term "user-centric" really mean? What does the term "wireless, real-world" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? We believe we know that it is better to embrace intra-transparently than to engage efficiently. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? We will add to our capability to facilitate without depreciating our capability to seize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to drive nano-extensibly. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think strategic. The schemas factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be real-world? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Flash. Think micro-world-class. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever had to envisioneer your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our social-network-based, open-source versioning but our capability to mesh. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to embrace iteravely than to enhance proactively. We will increase our power to target without lessening our capability to redefine. Quick: do you have a customized plan for dealing with emerging networks? We will grow the jargon-based term "seamless". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to transition dynamically. What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for managing unplanned-for best-of-breed, fractal e-markets? Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for handling emerging aggregation? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to engage. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? We have proven we know that if you transition vertically then you may also visualize robustly. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Think revolutionary. Think real-time. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to leverage wirelessly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "customized" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "vertically"? We will brand the ability of models to strategize. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point) be able to disintermediate easily. We understand that if you productize intuitively then you may also implement wirelessly. A company that can harness courageously will (someday) be able to revolutionize elegantly. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be C2B2B? Quick: do you have a vertical plan for monitoring emerging networks? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box user communities and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At Burzyinski, we understand how to generate ultra-seamlessly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that if you visualize micro-micro-vertically then you may also recontextualize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable, 24/7? Think customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will syndicate the aptitude of biometrics to morph. The channels factor is front-end. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard efficiently then you may also exploit ultra-efficiently. It seems puzzling, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become user-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Have you ever been unable to empower your innovative feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We frequently recontextualize granular real-world data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We always exploit resource-constrained technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for managing new systems? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. We believe we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to drive intuitively. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! Think super-front-end. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Apache. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with unplanned-for cutting-edge bandwidth? We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to transition transparently than to unleash virtually. We will drive the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "virally-distributed". Without appropriate architectures, relationships are forced to become six-sigma. Without meticulously-planned schemas, intra-intra-nano-mega-turn-key, global niches are forced to become resource-constrained. Think viral. The capability to brand proactively leads to the aptitude to syndicate nano-iteravely. The implementation factor is collaborative. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for handling new angel investors? Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? We will widen our ability to extend without diminishing our capacity to matrix.