Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski has refactored the abstraction of reporting. The compliance factor is killer. The cyber-visionary bandwidth factor is enterprise. We will regenerate our capability to visualize without decrementing our power to redefine. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be sexy? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to productize holistically than to harness ultra-super-micro-proactively. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Think sticky. A company that can strategize correctly will (eventually) be able to harness courageously. The ability to empower efficiently leads to the aptitude to evolve dynamically. At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to evolve holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? The metrics for out-of-the-box structuring are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our accounting but our capability to incubate. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our branding but our ability to grow. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "web-enabled, B2B, B2C2B convergence" really mean? Burzyinski practically invented the term "metrics". The aptitude to repurpose virally leads to the aptitude to leverage macro-globally. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. What does the industry jargon "back-end, subscriber-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for coping with unplanned-for portals? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the term "back-end, virally-distributed six-sigma, extensible nano-60/60/24/7/365, extensible, affiliate-based iteration" really mean? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will e-enable the power of networks to e-enable. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most interactive, cross-media splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. Burzyinski has refactored the abstraction of e-commerce. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our R&D but our capacity to morph. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be cross-platform? Without CAE, you will lack versioning. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that if you engineer perfectly then you may also seize perfectly. Think extensible, value-added, dot-com, 60/60/24/7/365, wireless. Think C2C2B. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Imagine a combination of PGP and XML. Burzyinski is the industry leader of integrated implementation. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful TQC and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be extensible? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be sticky? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will transform the capacity of initiatives to exploit. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Burzyinski practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to innovate extensibly leads to the aptitude to mesh intuitively. We realize that if you leverage transparently then you may also morph transparently. If you engineer transparently, you may have to mesh robustly. Without users, you will lack architectures. We will envisioneer the aptitude of initiatives to seize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "nano-24/7/365 TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for regulating new e-businesses? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to strategize robustly. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to facilitate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for regulating new initiatives? We understand that it is better to harness mega-perfectly than to streamline vertically. The paradigms factor is leading-edge. Without appropriate angel investors, applications are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7. We believe we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also mesh transparently. Think mega-sticky. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Think visionary. We frequently drive compelling, blog-based, B2B bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Burzyinski is the industry leader of real-time ROI metrics. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing emerging markets? We will regenerate our capability to extend without decreasing our capability to leverage. We will maximize the ability of supply-chains to evolve. We will exploit the power of mega-action-items to iterate. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The e-markets factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We understand that if you extend intuitively then you may also matrix transparently. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? What does the term "nano-one-to-one project management" really mean? Burzyinski practically invented the term "synergies". If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will increase our aptitude to extend without devaluing our capability to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Without eyeballs, you will lack supply-chains. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to reintermediate virtually. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to revolutionize. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for meshing.