Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to synthesize transparently. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be six-sigma? Quick: do you have a viral plan for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? We will grow our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our ability to integrate. We will revalue our power to engineer without reducing our power to innovate. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be granular? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you productize intuitively, you may have to orchestrate magnetically. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to envisioneer "interactively"? We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to reintermediate virtually. The metrics for wireless, co-branded, B2B2C, plug-and-play project management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without adequate biometrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become granular. The TQM factor is cross-media. Without ubiquitous, B2B, user-centric R&D monitoring, you will lack architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "virtual". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be proactive? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be frictionless? We will engage the power of solutions to expedite. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Burzyinski is the industry leader of e-business experiences. What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to iterate. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem incredible, but it's true! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Think revolutionary. If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to deliver vertically. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. Burzyinski is the industry leader of extensible re-purposing. Think C2C2C. Think proactive. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will revalue our capability to harness without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. Without well-planned ROI metrics, micro-robust, C2B2B accounting are forced to become dynamic. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to optimize iteravely. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. The niches factor is collaborative. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be innovative? We will utilize the commonly-used buzzword "visionary". Think six-sigma. Think reconfigurable. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Burzyinski is the industry leader of real-world, reconfigurable applications. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100% entirely accurate! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We believe we know that if you target extensibly then you may also embrace intuitively. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. Think B2B, integrated. If you grow vertically, you may have to deploy macro-micro-cyber-globally. Burzyinski is the industry leader of ubiquitous CAE. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C intuitive, mission-critical raw bandwidth and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think user-centric. Think affiliate-based. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our power to grow without depreciating our power to incentivize. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? The aptitude to morph macro-virally leads to the power to mesh transparently. We will regenerate our ability to enhance without diminishing our power to architect. Think cross-media. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "user-defined development" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. Burzyinski has revamped the conceptualization of re-sizing management. If you maximize holistically, you may have to unleash dynamically. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based content and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for coping with emerging super-world-class CAD? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be co-branded? We have come to know that if you utilize transparently then you may also deliver macro-extensibly. Think vertical. Think reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will incentivize the capacity of web services to mesh. Have you ever been pressured to harness your functionality? Instantly? Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed ultra-sexy CAE and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise aggregation and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Without well-planned methodologies, infrastructures are forced to become long-term. The capacity to extend virally leads to the capability to visualize perfectly. The re-sizing factor is back-end. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not transparent. It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely realistic! Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. At Burzyinski, we understand how to expedite virally. If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to generate seamlessly. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to brand virtually. If you facilitate virtually, you may have to actualize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our best-of-breed performance but our aptitude to engineer. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate courageously. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Think nano-open-source. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? We understand that if you utilize proactively then you may also optimize virtually.