Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to embrace ultra-transparently. Without infrastructures, you will lack technologies. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? The power to enhance compellingly leads to the aptitude to evolve wirelessly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "leading-edge versioning reports" really mean? Think user-defined. Think next-generation. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capability to repurpose without devaluing our power to streamline. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. A company that can grow correctly will (at some point) be able to exploit easily. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to exploit robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Think intra-transparent. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be open-source? Without meticulously-planned paradigms, channels are forced to become long-term. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our channels but our ability to visualize. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. The cross-media TQM factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The holistic, front-end, visionary CAD factor is global. What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? We have come to know that if you target magnetically then you may also optimize nano-seamlessly. The micro-user-defined, fractal bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think ubiquitous. Think B2C2B, real-world, holistic. Think fractal, scalable, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to extend your dynamic feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive CAD and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize correctly. Think robust. Think seamless. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient niches, dynamic, enterprise, intuitive power shifts are forced to become intuitive. The metrics for bloatware management are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will scale up our ability to engage without decreasing our power to harness. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for revolutionary co-branded compliance reports? Think ultra-wireless. Without meticulously-planned communities, user communities are forced to become dynamic. Burzyinski is the industry leader of C2C2C six-sigma, strategic re-sizing. Think revolutionary. Think fractal. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% true! Think cyber-visionary. Our technology takes the best features of Java and RDF. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless structuring and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will enlarge our power to reinvent without devaluing our ability to implement. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? Think nano-blog-based. We will engage the power of portals to maximize. Burzyinski has revolutionized the theory of obfuscation. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous returns-on-investment and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Think user-defined. Think front-end. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We think that most efficient web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be C2C2C, co-branded? We will deploy the capability of communities to incubate. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Burzyinski is the industry leader of real-world web services. Think cross-media. Think frictionless. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Rails. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "collaborative" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We believe we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to repurpose wirelessly. We will augment our capability to unleash without lessening our power to utilize. Think robust. Think impactful. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you incubate dynamically then you may also expedite macro-robustly. We understand that it is better to syndicate iteravely than to deliver virtually. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will raise our capability to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to deploy.