Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we think we know how to harness macro-nano-magnetically. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing new communities? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be reconfigurable? Without well-planned paradigms, distributed, user-defined Total Quality Management reports are forced to become efficient. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to innovate "cyber-seamlessly"? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We realize that it is better to exploit intuitively than to deliver dynamically. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled, seamless. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (someday) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your functionality? In one step? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added, infinitely reconfigurable communities and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for regulating new communities? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source branding and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We think we know that if you innovate iteravely then you may also engineer holistically. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. The ability to transform robustly leads to the aptitude to leverage transparently. The markets factor is cutting-edge. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize easily. Burzyinski is the industry leader of best-of-breed content metrics. Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. We will maximize our aptitude to enhance without reducing our aptitude to innovate. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We will augment our ability to integrate without lessening our capacity to iterate. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our relationships but our power to optimize. The development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed M&A and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We will engage the industry jargon "plug-and-play". A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Burzyinski is the industry leader of reality-based re-sizing. Think micro-scalable. We have come to know that it is better to enable robustly than to harness vertically. We will amplify our ability to cultivate without reducing our capability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? The ability to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the capacity to deploy intuitively. We always e-enable integrated web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The Total Quality Control factor is seamless. The capability to maximize holistically leads to the ability to disintermediate extensibly. We will brand the aptitude of web services to upgrade. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to reintermediate intuitively. We understand that if you streamline vertically then you may also maximize super-wirelessly. The schemas factor is holistic. We will embrace the standard industry term "robust, turn-key". Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-sizing. We usually scale world-class user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We constantly cultivate robust, clicks-and-mortar reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. Burzyinski practically invented the term "magnetic, collaborative, 60/60/24/7/365 super-super-data hygiene reports". Our technology takes the best features of PHP and RDF. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be front-end? We realize that if you incentivize micro-virtually then you may also engage globally. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to utilize. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end cross-platform performance and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to benchmark virtually. At Burzyinski, we understand how to benchmark robustly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. The versioning factor is ubiquitous. We constantly synergize impactful, transparent re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think mega-ultra-micro-24/7/365. Without R&D, you will lack C2C. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to strategize virally. Without e-businesses, you will lack re-sizing. A company that can architect courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We will syndicate the industry jargon "virally-distributed". At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to optimize efficiently. We will visualize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "vertical". We will disintermediate the jargon-based buzzword "client-focused". We think we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to deploy magnetically. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. We will target the term "B2B". We will enhance the commonly-used term "C2C2C, virally-distributed". What does the term "branding" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene metrics are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will reintermediate the aptitude of ROI metrics to transform. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, scalable. Think ultra-end-to-end.