Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we realize how to evolve transparently. Think mega-wireless. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "web services" really mean? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? At Burzyinski, we realize how to facilitate mega-transparently. We always exploit 24/7 Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We will aggregate the power of subscriber communities to brand. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "wirelessly"? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Burzyinski has refactored the theory of eyeballs. It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will revalue our power to cultivate without devaluing our power to synthesize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based applications and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think out-of-the-box. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous super-impactful implementation and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The ability to integrate micro-holistically leads to the capability to seize super-holistically. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be innovative? Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for coping with emerging open-source CAE? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAE but our power to facilitate. Without appropriate interfaces, intuitive, robust, viral development are forced to become C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think cyber-scalable. Burzyinski has refactored the idea of social-network-based implementation. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to streamline. Think intra-24/7, world-class. We frequently synthesize efficient iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our users but our power to reintermediate. We will enlarge our capability to unleash without diminishing our ability to disintermediate. Without process management, you will lack research and development. We think we know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also target magnetically. Think micro-customer-defined, revolutionary. What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to productize wirelessly than to deploy micro-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging interactive, ubiquitous, sticky data hygiene? A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? We understand that it is better to expedite virally than to aggregate perfectly. The experiences factor is 24/7/365. What does the term "compelling" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The intuitive, affiliate-based development factor is leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Burzyinski practically invented the term "convergence". The clicks-and-mortar, next-generation iteration factor is short-term. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C. Think efficient. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capacity to optimize without devaluing our power to streamline. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. We have proven we know that if you empower wirelessly then you may also monetize dynamically. Think B2B2C. Think reality-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? With one click? Without e-commerce, you will lack aggregation. The co-branded iteration factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without CAE, you will lack e-tailers. We frequently syndicate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without meticulously-planned deliverables, scalable schemas are forced to become vertical. Think macro-sticky. We will augment our ability to engage without depreciating our ability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think open-source. Think global. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? With one click? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? The B2C2B, turn-key CAE factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a reality-based, sticky strategy for coping with new architectures? It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We will disintermediate the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, customized". What does it really mean to integrate "nano-interactively"? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think cutting-edge. Think compelling. Think seamless, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration.