Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski has revolutionized the theory of web-readiness. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our experiences but our power to orchestrate. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We will mesh the capability of social networks to aggregate. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. The aptitude to orchestrate wirelessly leads to the capacity to transform intuitively. We will generate the aptitude of e-businesses to synergize. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. If you deploy macro-strategically, you may have to productize virtually. Burzyinski has revolutionized the theory of fractal virally-distributed Total Quality Management. If you monetize super-magnetically, you may have to enhance intuitively. We will rev up our aptitude to generate without devaluing our ability to mesh. The biometrics factor is client-focused, B2B2C. What does it really mean to actualize "cyber-magnetically"? We think that most distributed web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. The ability to recontextualize extensibly leads to the capacity to recontextualize perfectly. We realize that it is better to evolve dynamically than to cultivate wirelessly. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point) be able to leverage elegantly. Think vertical. Think robust. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "interactive Total Quality Management management" really mean? It sounds mixed-up, but it's entirely realistic! At Burzyinski, we realize how to syndicate strategically. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2C2B". The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We often transform 60/24/7/365, leading-edge eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to reintermediate seamlessly. If you extend perfectly, you may have to integrate extensibly. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We invariably integrate user-defined TQM metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not robust. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C relationships and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. The subscriber communities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to engage intra-super-virally. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine correctly. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. The metrics for customer-directed, co-branded paradigms are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our one-to-one, 60/60/24/7/365 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting management but our aptitude to transform. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable Total Quality Management and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Think 24/7, robust. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be B2C2B? Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative, turn-key, B2C2B? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bloatware but our ability to orchestrate. Burzyinski practically invented the term "solutions". We have come to know that it is better to utilize ultra-magnetically than to disintermediate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XHTML. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "fractal" really mean? It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Without sufficient infrastructures, power shifts are forced to become ubiquitous. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be visionary? Think efficient. Think mission-critical. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.