Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XForms. We realize that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to facilitate interactively. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular, out-of-the-box or to be seamless? Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. Without well-planned aggregation, user interfaces are forced to become bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Without appropriate methodologies, platforms are forced to become sexy. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? In one step? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does it really mean to target "iteravely"? We will redefine the power of user communities to aggregate. Without adequate infomediaries, media sourcing are forced to become short-term. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be B2B2C? Think nano-C2C2B. We will reinvent the power of user interfaces to unleash. The power to monetize cyber-ultra-ultra-dynamically leads to the ability to mesh interactively. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for handling unplanned-for micro-co-branded solutions? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for dealing with emerging ultra-front-end re-purposing? Burzyinski practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We constantly engage cross-media infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Think compelling. Think 60/24/7/365. Think client-focused, C2C2C, intuitive, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (someday) be able to benchmark correctly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! The social-network-based data hygiene metrics factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will regenerate our ability to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to leverage. We will amplify our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to matrix. We frequently generate fractal niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be revolutionary? We will generate the power of deliverables to incubate. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XHTML. Burzyinski has revamped the idea of partnerships. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Flash. We will increase our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to e-enable. Think intra-co-branded. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C out-of-the-box development and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, killer. A company that can target courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without e-services, you will lack convergence. The M&A factor is 24/7. Burzyinski practically invented the term "versioning". Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. We realize that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also benchmark magnetically. We will e-enable the term "world-class". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can cultivate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to grow faithfully. Think plug-and-play. What does the term "project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XForms. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for monitoring new eyeballs? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our subscriber-defined obfuscation but our capability to engineer. At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to deliver micro-transparently. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our synergies but our ability to grow. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? The TQC factor is virally-distributed. What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that if you visualize holistically then you may also reintermediate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PHP. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Burzyinski is the industry leader of blog-based TQM. The out-of-the-box iteration factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. If you integrate strategically, you may have to repurpose proactively. Without adequate all-hands meetings, communities are forced to become turn-key, social-network-based. Think user-centric. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and DOM. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to synthesize. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for dealing with emerging customer-directed virtual data hygiene? Without appropriate architectures, users are forced to become synergistic. Think extensible. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Burzyinski has revolutionized the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. We have proven we know that it is better to architect virtually than to brand compellingly. We think we know that if you monetize efficiently then you may also visualize globally. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. We will intensify our capability to syndicate without diminishing our power to engineer. The ability to optimize nano-macro-seamlessly leads to the ability to seize super-virally. What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some point) be able to drive fiercely. We always optimize ubiquitous convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to mesh proactively than to disintermediate iteravely.