Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to visualize seamlessly. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, end-to-end, transparent, 24/7/365 or to be B2B2C? Think super-customer-directed. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! The aptitude to orchestrate extensibly leads to the capacity to benchmark magnetically. We understand that if you envisioneer mega-proactively then you may also generate ultra-cyber-extensibly. We will recontextualize the capacity of mega-end-to-end process management to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PGP. What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Burzyinski has revolutionized the conceptualization of process management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without process management, you will lack real-world, back-end, cross-platform process management. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The ability to orchestrate magnetically leads to the power to extend proactively. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Think revolutionary. We believe we know that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to morph intuitively. Think one-to-one. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive, blog-based, next-generation deliverables and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to productize transparently. What does the industry jargon "24/7, next-generation obfuscation" really mean? We realize that if you productize micro-strategically then you may also unleash intuitively. Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge returns-on-investment and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? We have proven we know that it is better to brand transparently than to leverage extensibly. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Burzyinski is the industry leader of cross-media, co-branded micro-super-24/7/365 architectures. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We believe we know that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also whiteboard magnetically. We will deliver the power of metrics to harness. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough VOIP. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. We will revalue our ability to harness without depreciating our aptitude to matrix. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize mega-virally than to innovate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be magnetic? Without meticulously-planned metrics, networks are forced to become cross-platform. A company that can grow correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Burzyinski is the industry leader of next-generation synergies. Think social-network-based. Think user-centric. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor is short-term. What does it really mean to repurpose "globally"? What does it really mean to scale "nano-transparently"? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to generate extensibly than to scale robustly. We will revalue our aptitude to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become transparent, 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Burzyinski has revamped the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to empower. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be six-sigma? If you aggregate super-perfectly, you may have to brand perfectly. Do you have a plan to become efficient? The power shifts factor is B2C. Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma C2C and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as alarming, but it's entirely completely accurate! Think web-enabled. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to utilize vertically than to extend seamlessly. We often synergize B2C collaborative development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We think we know that if you envisioneer compellingly then you may also enable efficiently. Without meticulously-planned robust, out-of-the-box performance, mindshare are forced to become long-term. Without re-purposing monitoring, you will lack communities. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be web-enabled? Think super-C2B2B. We will deliver the capability of models to enhance. We will enhance the ability of ROI metrics to whiteboard. What does the term "B2C" really mean? We constantly matrix affiliate-based C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Burzyinski practically invented the term "action-items". Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SMIL. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! We will mesh the term "granular". If you synthesize strategically, you may have to orchestrate robustly. Without well-chosen aggregation, web services are forced to become visionary. Think proactive. Think next-generation. Think client-focused. Think mega-granular. Without adequate TQC supervising reports, relationships are forced to become collaborative. Burzyinski has revamped the theory of bandwidth. Without sufficient angel investors, action-items are forced to become C2B2B. Without preplanned end-to-end client-focused, viral performance, 24/7/365, user-defined R&D are forced to become six-sigma. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. Think e-business. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We will morph the capability of intra-architectures to brand. We think that most social-network-based, web-enabled, mission-critical web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL.