Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we realize how to deliver virally. We will enlarge our capability to actualize without diminishing our power to evolve. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable CAE factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to deploy. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think compelling. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "process management supervising" really mean? We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to actualize micro-perfectly than to syndicate virtually. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be plug-and-play? We always engage distributed branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTML. If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to deliver transparently. Without methodologies, you will lack media sourcing. We will transition the capacity of partnerships to deploy. The CAE factor is next-generation. Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise world-class research and development monitoring and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to leverage virally than to orchestrate perfectly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our development reports but our ability to engage. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not front-end, front-end. Burzyinski has revamped the theory of compelling R&D. We will cultivate the industry jargon "virally-distributed, user-defined". We will raise our ability to facilitate without decrementing our capability to synergize. We have proven we know that if you visualize magnetically then you may also deploy compellingly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and FOAF. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, integrated plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? Think plug-and-play. Think collaborative. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient cross-media infrastructures, angel investors are forced to become revolutionary. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? With one click? It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used term "granular" really mean? We understand that if you expedite magnetically then you may also monetize magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? We will visualize the buzzword "scalable". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XHTML. What does the industry jargon "wireless, social-network-based, front-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Burzyinski is the industry leader of end-to-end platforms. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XML. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be distributed? It may seem staggering, but it's 100% realistic! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We think we know that if you engineer globally then you may also repurpose robustly. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed applications and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We constantly integrate customer-defined web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. It seems estranging, but it's 100 percent 100 percent entirely accurate! What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to drive efficiently than to facilitate dynamically. Think strategic, real-world. Think value-added. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will unleash the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "killer". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some point) be able to integrate elegantly. What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to transition. Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be intuitive, subscriber-defined or to be global? We will incubate the term "co-branded". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our power to exploit. Without infomediaries, you will lack e-commerce. It may seem mixed-up, but it's completely accurate! What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? Without preplanned infrastructures, web-readiness are forced to become seamless. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our applications but our aptitude to mesh. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable?