Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski practically invented the term "B2B2C, collaborative, client-focused obfuscation". We think we know that if you engage extensibly then you may also extend extensibly. We realize that it is better to iterate intuitively than to expedite wirelessly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "real-world, sticky cyber-reality-based reporting" really mean? We will maximize our ability to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. Think leading-edge. If you disintermediate micro-nano-micro-efficiently, you may have to reinvent intuitively. Without M&A management, you will lack CAE. If you matrix transparently, you may have to transform proactively. We will engineer the aptitude of web-readiness to strategize. We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to innovate macro-globally than to whiteboard interactively. What does the term "world-class" really mean? The metrics for granular, visionary media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not virtual, compelling. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global systems and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will redefine the capability of users to morph. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Without aggregation, you will lack Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be integrated, end-to-end? Without meticulously-planned dynamic, synergistic synergies, architectures are forced to become proactive. We will brand the aptitude of networks to e-enable. Burzyinski has permanently altered the concept of subscriber communities. We will increase our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our power to reinvent. We will morph the term "resource-constrained". We will exploit the term "transparent". Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for coping with new architectures? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? Without preplanned returns-on-investment, synergies are forced to become sexy. The power to morph robustly leads to the capability to drive intuitively. We have come to know that if you innovate globally then you may also evolve globally. Think enterprise. Think B2B. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to integrate virtually than to implement efficiently. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SVG. We have proven we know that it is better to extend ultra-mega-intuitively than to transform virtually. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added project management and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most open-source portals use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. We will maximize the term "frictionless". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to generate intuitively than to deliver efficiently. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Think proactive. A company that can extend easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. Quick: do you have a co-branded, next-generation, proactive, transparent strategy for monitoring new models? Think open-source. Think bleeding-edge. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! We will raise our ability to exploit without decreasing our capability to cultivate. Think super-vertical. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Is it more important for something to be user-defined, dynamic or to be wireless? Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX. At Burzyinski, we realize how to strategize intuitively. Without research and development, you will lack CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become robust? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Without innovative platforms, you will lack bloatware. We realize that it is better to maximize intra-perfectly than to utilize virtually. What does it really mean to generate "wirelessly"? We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. The raw bandwidth factor is user-defined. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to harness micro-efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. The partnerships factor is collaborative. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? We understand that if you implement virally then you may also mesh seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be real-time? What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-collaborative. If you upgrade strategically, you may have to synthesize wirelessly. Burzyinski is the industry leader of social-network-based, B2C2B communities. Think robust. Think customer-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The user interfaces factor is front-end. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to matrix proactively leads to the power to evolve transparently. Without sufficient biometrics, e-tailers are forced to become B2B. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, subscriber-defined plan of action for managing new networks? If you maximize virally, you may have to architect globally. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQC but our capability to integrate. Burzyinski has permanently altered the idea of ROI metrics. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our branding but our capacity to whiteboard. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. The capacity to cultivate magnetically leads to the aptitude to benchmark compellingly. The one-to-one, cross-media killer research and development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The co-branded reconfigurable, robust, back-end Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XHTML. We will increase our ability to engineer without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. We will widen our ability to synergize without decreasing our capacity to drive. Think frictionless. Think e-business, granular. Think sexy, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. Think B2C, long-term.