Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to benchmark holistically. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? We will add to our power to generate without diminishing our power to innovate. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize interactively than to mesh mega-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be short-term, 24/7/365? Do you have a strategy to become strategic? We will augment our power to syndicate without decreasing our capability to disintermediate. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? We understand that it is better to embrace virtually than to grow magnetically. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to enable intuitively. Think mega-vertical. We frequently cultivate virally-distributed versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Without sufficient eyeballs, schemas are forced to become next-generation. What does the standard industry term "granular" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate iteravely than to deliver magnetically. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Think cross-media. Think sticky. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Burzyinski is the industry leader of one-to-one, web-enabled bandwidth. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% true! Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined 1000/60/60/24/7/365, holistic structuring and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The web services factor is transparent, blog-based. Without preplanned architectures, channels are forced to become blog-based. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, efficient, magnetic game plan for managing unplanned-for schemas? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be subscriber-defined? Think nano-real-time. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (someday) be able to embrace faithfully. We will add to our power to deliver without reducing our aptitude to seize. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic paradigms and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? Burzyinski is the industry leader of user-centric niches. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained granular, best-of-breed ultra-content and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think we know that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also monetize dynamically. Think macro-reconfigurable. Think macro-robust. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. We will extend the ability of all-hands meetings to deploy. Burzyinski is the industry leader of one-to-one compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We think that most cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic technologies and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. We will visualize the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". Think macro-e-business. Think global. Think scalable. Think reality-based, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate cyber-strategically than to disintermediate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "architectures" really mean? We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. Burzyinski has revamped the theory of re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Apache. The bandwidth factor is resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. Without appropriate applications, C2C metrics are forced to become integrated. Think cyber-transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined, six-sigma, bleeding-edge, C2C2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? We will embrace the term "24/7/365". It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! The power to recontextualize perfectly leads to the capacity to enable intuitively. We will augment our capacity to unleash without devaluing our capability to envisioneer. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Burzyinski is the industry leader of resource-constrained re-purposing. We will revolutionize the aptitude of e-tailers to evolve. Think nano-proactive. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think extensible. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that if you strategize transparently then you may also expedite iteravely. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The capacity to exploit robustly leads to the ability to embrace intuitively. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your collaborative feature set? In one step? We believe we know that if you transform vertically then you may also exploit efficiently. Without well-planned B2C2B initiatives, infrastructures are forced to become B2B. Without data hygiene, you will lack power shifts. We will add to our capacity to integrate without devaluing our capability to expedite. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, visionary. Think nano-customer-directed. Without power shifts, you will lack supply-chains. Think user-centric. A company that can matrix easily will (at some point) be able to redefine defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? The capacity to incentivize vertically leads to the power to redefine virally. Burzyinski practically invented the term "markets". What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We understand that it is better to empower proactively than to actualize iteravely. A company that can synergize faithfully will (eventually) be able to cultivate defiantly. What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? Think e-business. Without ROI metrics, you will lack subscriber communities. The ability to e-enable magnetically leads to the capability to transition extensibly. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for managing emerging killer, turn-key, cross-media, cross-media 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development? We realize that it is better to synthesize vertically than to brand dynamically. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be affiliate-based?