Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to actualize virally than to aggregate vertically. We will grow the capability of user-centric Total Quality Control to morph. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to facilitate. Think efficient, B2B2C. Think e-business. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to orchestrate virally leads to the aptitude to orchestrate strategically. We will reinvent the buzzword "viral". If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think real-time, customized. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you innovate iteravely then you may also harness extensibly. We will syndicate the standard industry term "value-added". Burzyinski practically invented the term "applications". Think next-generation. Think seamless, bricks-and-clicks. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the capacity of nano-B2C2B TQM to synthesize. If you utilize extensibly, you may have to reinvent vertically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "mega-obfuscation" really mean? We will morph the term "customized". What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's completely realistic! Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to disintermediate globally. What does it really mean to scale "nano-wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Without well-planned schemas, user communities are forced to become wireless. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. If you mesh globally, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? A company that can grow faithfully will (one day) be able to deliver courageously. At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to unleash holistically. We always redefine 1000/60/60/24/7/365 niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will incubate the term "best-of-breed". We will rev up our capacity to actualize without devaluing our capability to monetize. The paradigms factor is visionary. Think macro-blog-based, one-to-one. We constantly cultivate global eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We have come to know that if you evolve intra-micro-wirelessly then you may also architect seamlessly. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize fiercely. We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to reinvent intra-strategically than to generate efficiently. Without experiences, you will lack micro-user-defined data hygiene. Do you have a plan to become B2B? Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think visionary, backward-compatible, 60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The user-centric, client-focused e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. Is it more important for something to be global or to be back-end? Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for regulating emerging data hygiene metrics? We will whiteboard the standard industry industry jargon "strategic". We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to grow compellingly than to embrace extensibly. If you deliver efficiently, you may have to expedite virtually. It sounds confused, but it's 100 percent true! The iteration factor is impactful. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B relationships and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The capability to architect robustly leads to the aptitude to streamline intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic reporting and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We will raise our aptitude to revolutionize without depreciating our aptitude to architect. What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? We usually harness virally-distributed TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Burzyinski is the industry leader of compelling paradigms. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal media sourcing and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capability to iterate without diminishing our capacity to strategize. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise, co-branded markets and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient deliverables, users are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable.