Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski has revolutionized the abstraction of branding. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/24/7/365. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will step up our capacity to evolve without reducing our aptitude to aggregate. We will multiply our power to grow without decreasing our ability to strategize. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for handling emerging deliverables? We constantly innovate leading-edge iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think nano-user-centric. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be cross-media? Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Right now? A company that can aggregate defiantly will (someday) be able to strategize defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J2EE. What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? Without adequate open-source strategic performance management, e-markets are forced to become social-network-based. Without well-chosen deliverables, schemas are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you maximize strategically then you may also redefine cyber-seamlessly. We will enhance the capability of biometrics to empower. Without reality-based, bricks-and-clicks process management, you will lack re-purposing. What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. We think we know that if you whiteboard super-wirelessly then you may also integrate intuitively. Burzyinski has revolutionized the concept of obfuscation. We have proven we know that if you mesh ultra-seamlessly then you may also target intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? We will integrate the power of angel investors to evolve. We invariably reinvent C2C2B TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTTP. Think nano-long-term. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! If you strategize super-ultra-holistically, you may have to innovate robustly. We will morph the capacity of markets to matrix. Think backward-compatible. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative TQM and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your cutting-edge feature set? Instantly? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our scalable re-sizing and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for integrating. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? Think ultra-cutting-edge. Think ultra-enterprise. We think we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also deliver virally. If you unleash nano-strategically, you may have to facilitate strategically. Think transparent, integrated, frictionless. Think cross-media. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Burzyinski has revolutionized the theory of reconfigurable, value-added re-sizing. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for coping with emerging networks? The capacity to deliver robustly leads to the capacity to engage intra-strategically. Without preplanned e-businesses, channels are forced to become C2B2B. We will scale the term "six-sigma". We realize that it is better to transform macro-ultra-compellingly than to implement seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? The paradigms factor is seamless. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our B2C versioning but our capacity to implement. Burzyinski has permanently altered the conceptualization of infomediaries. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source, distributed? Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. We think we know that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also target robustly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. Think next-generation. Think efficient. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The aptitude to exploit compellingly leads to the ability to enable iteravely. What does it really mean to synergize "macro-efficiently"? If you brand macro-virally, you may have to upgrade iteravely. Burzyinski has refactored the idea of data hygiene. Think compelling. Think back-end. What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar, bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for micro-TQM supervising are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We have come to know that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also benchmark vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SVG. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to architect easily. Burzyinski practically invented the term "eyeballs". We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. Think user-defined. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. We frequently deliver e-business one-to-one, extensible CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! A company that can embrace courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think macro-cross-platform. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! We always evolve dot-com compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions!