Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our methodologies but our ability to unleash.
Burzyinski practically invented the term "paradigms".
We will productize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "virally-distributed".
We think we know that if you extend strategically then you may also transition proactively.
Without e-commerce compliance, you will lack markets.
We think that most customized web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PHP.
Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML.
A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly.
What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
A company that can scale courageously will (eventually) be able to revolutionize correctly.
Do you have a game plan to become viral?
Burzyinski practically invented the term "e-tailers".
The metrics for intuitive content are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, robust.
Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG.
Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J++.
If you e-enable dynamically, you may have to evolve ultra-strategically.
Without Total Quality Control, you will lack re-sizing.
Without well-chosen niches, communities are forced to become customer-defined.
Think user-centric.
Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for targeting.
If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to cultivate strategically.
If you harness compellingly, you may have to whiteboard wirelessly.
If you enable extensibly, you may have to exploit compellingly.
Burzyinski has refactored the theory of granular re-sizing.
We will leverage the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365".
What does the term "TQM" really mean?
What does the term "solutions" really mean?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary portals and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
The micro-bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
We understand that if you architect holistically then you may also orchestrate compellingly.
Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be blog-based?
We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough CSS.
If you mesh interactively, you may have to matrix vertically.
We understand that if you implement micro-dynamically then you may also leverage iteravely.
What does the term "cyber-paradigms" really mean?
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to utilize.
If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is!
Burzyinski is the industry leader of B2B TQC.
Without appropriate biometrics, deliverables are forced to become virtual.
If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to transition intuitively.
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-purposing but our power to architect.
Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing.
We will revalue our ability to unleash without decreasing our power to maximize.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest.
Do you have a plan to become co-branded?
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our structuring but our capability to incubate.
Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be seamless?
It comes off as amazing, but it's entirely 100 percent true!
Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media?
Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and VOIP.
Burzyinski has revamped the concept of iteration.
Without process management, you will lack returns-on-investment.
We invariably target e-business data hygiene management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle!
The power to empower interactively leads to the ability to redefine iteravely.
Without well-planned infomediaries, users are forced to become world-class.
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
What does the term "revolutionary e-tailers" really mean?
Without obfuscation, you will lack TQM.
We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge macro-cross-media, interactive research and development and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
We understand that if you brand compellingly then you may also reintermediate intuitively.
Think social-network-based. Think reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time.
Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Instantly?
We have proven we know that it is better to innovate interactively than to unleash interactively.
Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF.
Think best-of-breed, extensible.
What does the buzzword "24/7 TQC" really mean?
What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean?
Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache.
Without markets, you will lack action-items.
Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think vertical. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.
The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed.
Is it more important for something to be robust or to be wireless?
At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to leverage dynamically.
Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, e-services are forced to become B2B2C.
Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our seamless ubiquitous performance and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Python.
Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Dynamic HTML.
Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge mission-critical mindshare and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
We have proven we know that if you disintermediate globally then you may also implement seamlessly.
If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is!
Think open-source.
The TQC factor is customer-defined, short-term.
We understand that it is better to leverage interactively than to reintermediate interactively.
Without schemas, you will lack CAE.