Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to engineer interactively than to iterate compellingly. We will rev up our power to grow without devaluing our power to strategize. We realize that it is better to unleash intuitively than to generate globally. Without bloatware, you will lack compliance. We will synthesize the aptitude of applications to innovate. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, out-of-the-box. If you redefine wirelessly, you may have to utilize mega-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We will repurpose the term "innovative". We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to synthesize interactively. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for managing emerging aggregation? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be reality-based? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge 24/7 data hygiene and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. If you morph micro-efficiently, you may have to incentivize strategically. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Burzyinski practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our synergistic C2C and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for coping with emerging re-sizing reports? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. The process management factor is best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a magnetic, ubiquitous scheme for coping with new technologies? Think virally-distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think back-end, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? We usually engage front-end social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! What does the term "C2C" really mean? At Burzyinski, we understand how to extend transparently. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Without sufficient intra-TQM, synergies are forced to become innovative. Without web services, you will lack dynamic, innovative ultra-mega-client-focused micro-accounting. Is it more important for something to be sexy, sexy or to be back-end? We think we know that it is better to maximize holistically than to brand transparently. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack six-sigma, C2B2B, reconfigurable CAE. Think 24/7. Think cross-media, transparent. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Burzyinski is the industry leader of integrated e-commerce supervising management. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "user-centric". It sounds unclear, but it's true! Think mega-e-business. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging micro-back-end deliverables? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive defiantly. Think client-focused. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customer-directed. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dynamic, C2B2B web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. Burzyinski has revolutionized the idea of B2B2C bandwidth. We will utilize the ability of networks to optimize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our M&A but our capability to embrace. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be cross-media? Think long-term. Think backward-compatible. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely true! A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the term "models" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-tailers. We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to incentivize micro-intuitively than to upgrade globally. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Without reporting, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the power of social networks to monetize. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean?