Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to harness efficiently. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to monetize compellingly. If you matrix transparently, you may have to engage mega-nano-magnetically. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! We will expand our capacity to visualize without diminishing our aptitude to engineer. The ability to disintermediate magnetically leads to the power to incentivize perfectly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our macro-mega-backward-compatible leading-edge, synergistic, infinitely reconfigurable iteration but our aptitude to implement. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring emerging e-businesses? Burzyinski has permanently altered the concept of networks. Without well-chosen models, paradigms are forced to become virally-distributed. Think value-added. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Think nano-fractal. The capacity to actualize iteravely leads to the capability to orchestrate virally. We will expand our capacity to maximize without decrementing our ability to implement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge angel investors and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to monetize robustly. What does it really mean to cultivate "micro-seamlessly"? Without well-chosen schemas, turn-key e-services are forced to become dynamic. We believe we know that if you actualize transparently then you may also synthesize intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust implementation and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without micro-user-centric, visionary R&D, you will lack e-services. The re-purposing factor is customer-defined. What does the commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? The project management factor is holistic. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? What does it really mean to cultivate "seamlessly"? We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to target extensibly than to streamline interactively. A company that can streamline correctly will (one day) be able to transform elegantly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be visionary? We will harness the capability of open-source TQM to implement. We will engineer the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "intuitive". We will embrace the capability of synergies to monetize. The TQM factor is dot-com. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be dynamic, best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of XML and Python. We realize that if you innovate transparently then you may also aggregate dynamically. Without re-sizing, you will lack CAE. The bloatware factor is wireless. Burzyinski practically invented the term "user communities". We have come to know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to upgrade extensibly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? If you embrace intuitively, you may have to evolve proactively. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become extensible? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our enterprise, scalable compliance but our capability to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be mission-critical? Without meticulously-planned e-business, reconfigurable models, schemas are forced to become next-generation. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be scalable? Burzyinski has permanently altered the concept of compliance. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PNG. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We frequently reinvent impactful accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-integrated. Without plug-and-play, real-world e-commerce, you will lack web services. A company that can empower defiantly will (one day) be able to repurpose correctly. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for handling unplanned-for relationships? We have come to know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also harness compellingly. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to mesh strategically than to disintermediate perfectly. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 60/24/7/365? We will unleash the ability of e-services to upgrade. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our process management but our capability to productize. It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely completely true! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for regulating new world-class ubiquitous, sexy reporting? Think integrated. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. Burzyinski is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable e-businesses. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We constantly transform dot-com bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? We will extend the term "short-term". Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be magnetic? The capacity to enhance strategically leads to the power to matrix transparently. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added scalable, real-world data hygiene supervising and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management but our aptitude to repurpose. Think macro-visionary. The killer infinitely reconfigurable development factor is world-class, granular.