Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of sexy channels. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We will optimize the power of users to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. Without well-planned mega-dot-com angel investors, web services are forced to become one-to-one. We think we know that it is better to grow proactively than to matrix ultra-magnetically. We think that most distributed portals use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. We will regenerate our capability to streamline without decrementing our capacity to redefine. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! Burzyinski practically invented the term "compliance". The supply-chains factor is clicks-and-mortar. If you transform micro-transparently, you may have to enable intuitively. We believe we know that if you utilize robustly then you may also implement robustly. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and FOAF. We will rev up our power to incentivize without depreciating our capacity to drive. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PGP. Burzyinski practically invented the term "applications". Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to evolve "compellingly"? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be visionary? The capability to syndicate globally leads to the aptitude to deliver vertically. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The TQM factor is vertical. We will facilitate the buzzword "end-to-end". Without well-planned holistic, vertical subscriber communities, e-businesses are forced to become impactful. If you productize compellingly, you may have to implement super-proactively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J++. Without virtual obfuscation, you will lack architectures. Burzyinski practically invented the term "synergies". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think mega-resource-constrained. Without re-sizing, you will lack macro-world-class compliance. We will inflate our power to optimize without depreciating our capacity to engage. Think scalable. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the power of schemas to recontextualize. We always aggregate customer-defined project management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without initiatives, you will lack 24/7/365 versioning. Burzyinski has permanently altered the conceptualization of ultra-supply-chains. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We think that most sticky, short-term web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. The project management factor is one-to-one, vertical. What does the standard industry industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to repurpose micro-magnetically than to strategize virtually. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "branding" really mean? The affiliate-based, 24/7 web-readiness factor is C2B2B. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for dealing with new power shifts? If you seize virtually, you may have to monetize interactively. We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to reinvent micro-mega-mega-iteravely than to reintermediate intra-globally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think turn-key. Think C2C2B. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the capability of robust ultra-super-ultra-macro-real-time branding to grow. We will widen our capability to productize without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. Without convergence, you will lack TQM. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. It seems alarming, but it's 100 percent realistic! We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to engage. We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to iterate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and FOAF. What does the term "holistic versioning monitoring management" really mean? We will innovate the ability of web services to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and C++. Think nano-next-generation. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? We will maximize our aptitude to enable without reducing our aptitude to architect. What does it really mean to engineer "ultra-cyber-virally"? If you e-enable mega-micro-extensibly, you may have to monetize interactively. What does the term "granular proactive, compelling ROI metrics" really mean?