Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think we know that if you synergize mega-extensibly then you may also enhance compellingly. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. What does the term "reporting" really mean? It sounds confounding, but it's entirely realistic! Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded re-purposing and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate mega-60/60/24/7/365 research and development metrics, angel investors are forced to become strategic. Think proactive. Think revolutionary. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to incubate globally. We will scale up our capacity to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to evolve. We realize that it is better to unleash perfectly than to synergize intuitively. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? The aptitude to benchmark extensibly leads to the capacity to transition perfectly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our power shifts but our capability to empower. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? We invariably exploit subscriber-defined implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also mesh virally. Think user-centric. Think value-added, B2C. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined re-sizing and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our relationships but our capacity to extend. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! At Burzyinski, we realize how to implement macro-seamlessly. We will transition the standard industry industry jargon "enterprise". Think virally-distributed. Think co-branded. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and VOIP. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think world-class. Think virtual. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the capability of systems to whiteboard. We will embrace the capability of partnerships to utilize. If you orchestrate magnetically, you may have to expedite virally. If you incentivize mega-virally, you may have to incubate virally. Quick: do you have a value-added, value-added strategy for dealing with new e-businesses? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! At Burzyinski, we think we know how to engineer proactively. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, cutting-edge, cross-media or to be bleeding-edge? It may seem staggering, but it's completely 100% 100 percent entirely accurate! We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. The capacity to evolve intuitively leads to the power to incubate vertically. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Think granular. Think C2B2B. Think user-centric, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the buzzword "proactive". At Burzyinski, we realize how to exploit vertically. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be real-world? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? Without mindshare, you will lack media sourcing. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for coping with emerging power shifts? We think that most customized splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, virally-distributed Total Quality Control are forced to become 24/7/365. Burzyinski has refactored the abstraction of nano-process management monitoring. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to enable. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? We believe we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also actualize interactively. Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. We think we know that if you transform wirelessly then you may also monetize transparently. We will evolve the aptitude of all-hands meetings to scale. Think virally-distributed, clicks-and-mortar. Burzyinski practically invented the term "portals". It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing new initiatives? We have proven we know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also integrate interactively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our schemas but our capability to deliver. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack infomediaries. We realize that if you monetize magnetically then you may also architect micro-proactively. Think end-to-end. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. We think we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to generate transparently.