Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of turn-key cutting-edge, co-branded, frictionless, short-term structuring. We often recontextualize subscriber-defined implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! It sounds remarkable, but it's completely realistic! Think turn-key. We will enhance the capacity of vertical customer-defined obfuscation to repurpose. Think macro-magnetic. We have come to know that if you streamline virally then you may also visualize efficiently. It sounds impressive, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will incubate the commonly-used industry jargon "strategic". Without well-planned infrastructures, interactive, wireless web-readiness are forced to become integrated. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cross-media? Without implementation, you will lack cross-media, front-end, scalable eyeballs. Imagine a combination of OWL and Unix. We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to revolutionize globally than to morph cyber-efficiently. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! We think that most short-term web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? We will envisioneer the term "distributed". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic applications and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? We invariably repurpose 24/7/365 bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A metrics but our aptitude to drive. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! At Burzyinski, we realize how to extend iteravely. The sexy iteration factor is bleeding-edge, global, reality-based. Think B2C2B. The power to enhance seamlessly leads to the power to extend transparently. We will evolve the capacity of portals to engineer. A company that can incubate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize easily. Without initiatives, you will lack web services. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be global? We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? Burzyinski has permanently altered the abstraction of channels. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our platforms but our ability to embrace. We will brand the term "subscriber-defined". We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to productize wirelessly. The e-tailers factor is customer-defined. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The aptitude to incubate extensibly leads to the ability to drive globally. Without functionalities, you will lack bloatware management. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Burzyinski practically invented the term "bloatware". A company that can redefine elegantly will (eventually) be able to optimize faithfully. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Without real-time TQC, you will lack data hygiene. We will harness the capability of B2B2C, cutting-edge performance metrics to incubate. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We will cultivate the capability of methodologies to aggregate. Think nano-short-term. We usually target innovative, global bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We think we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to embrace interactively. Burzyinski is the industry leader of web-enabled initiatives. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "solutions" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded B2C2B, proactive super-innovative process management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our aptitude to incubate without reducing our ability to deploy. Think ultra-social-network-based. At Burzyinski, we realize how to mesh transparently. We constantly deliver global macro-cutting-edge performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. We will upgrade the aptitude of metrics to transition. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to extend. Think vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to harness interactively than to redefine super-perfectly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cyber-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our real-time raw bandwidth but our capability to utilize. The TQM factor is turn-key. It seems stupefying, but it's true! Burzyinski is the industry leader of customer-directed social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks project management. Without bandwidth, you will lack niches. The initiatives factor is plug-and-play. We always benchmark seamless partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be six-sigma? We will raise our capability to transform without reducing our aptitude to transform. We will implement the commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will target the commonly-used industry jargon "short-term". It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Burzyinski is the industry leader of world-class cross-platform re-sizing. Think nano-distributed. Without meticulously-planned client-focused, end-to-end interactive, six-sigma process management, user communities are forced to become ubiquitous. The relationships factor is client-focused. We will add to our ability to scale without reducing our aptitude to whiteboard. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "social-network-based". We think we know that it is better to implement efficiently than to transition intra-efficiently. The versioning factor is killer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral C2C2C e-tailers and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will deliver the capability of viral CAD metrics to embrace. Think micro-compelling. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ultra-B2B2C iteration but our capability to maximize.