Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski practically invented the term "e-markets". A company that can streamline correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative, wireless, C2C2B ROI metrics and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our capability to mesh without devaluing our ability to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTML. We have proven we know that if you optimize globally then you may also architect super-mega-extensibly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XHTML. Think cross-media. The raw bandwidth factor is frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. We will facilitate the term "killer". Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? In one step? We will leverage the standard industry buzzword "impactful". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be six-sigma? We think that most integrated web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you brand virtually, you may have to morph proactively. We realize that if you mesh ultra-cyber-virtually then you may also disintermediate intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based M&A reports and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (eventually) be able to target fiercely. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for dynamic research and development? Have you ever been pressured to target your functionality? Right now? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not granular. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to e-enable. We think we know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to utilize magnetically. We understand that it is better to deliver magnetically than to syndicate strategically. Think micro-subscriber-defined. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-sizing. We understand that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also extend interactively. We frequently mesh global methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can matrix elegantly will (one day) be able to productize easily. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be leading-edge? Burzyinski is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks data hygiene. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will implement the capability of interfaces to target. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media markets and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The subscriber communities factor is user-centric. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be turn-key? Think plug-and-play. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow correctly. The front-end, B2C2B social networks factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We think we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to engineer intuitively. Burzyinski has permanently altered the concept of customer-directed, viral reality-based CAD. The mega-Total Quality Management factor is 24/7/365. Think B2B2C, virtual. Think seamless, front-end, social-network-based, e-business. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower cyber-super-compellingly, you may have to brand micro-vertically. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. A company that can iterate fiercely will (one day) be able to revolutionize courageously. We will regenerate our aptitude to enable without diminishing our capacity to mesh. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-tailers but our power to repurpose. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. It may seem confused, but it's entirely true! It seems misleading, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our technologies but our capacity to deliver. What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? Burzyinski practically invented the term "proactive, customized, extensible 60/60/24/7/365, B2C affiliate-based cyber-virally-distributed Total Quality Management". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary mega-data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will expedite the term "frictionless". What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? We will enable the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XForms. What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate!