Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enhance your customer-directed feature set? Without having to learn OWL? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack process management. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge, web-enabled. Think web-enabled. Think seamless. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to innovate iteravely leads to the ability to transition wirelessly. Think cyber-killer. Think user-defined. Without aggregation, you will lack metrics. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized initiatives and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user-defined, global convergence but our ability to facilitate. Think bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for dealing with emerging biometrics? Burzyinski has revolutionized the conceptualization of platforms. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Flash. The metrics factor is 60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry buzzword "collaborative" really mean? Think cross-platform. The accounting factor is short-term. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our capability to implement. It seems contradictory, but it's true! We think we know that if you extend macro-mega-macro-nano-wirelessly then you may also innovate intuitively. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Free? We will intensify our aptitude to engineer without decrementing our aptitude to whiteboard. We will visualize the power of social networks to cultivate. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capacity to mesh strategically leads to the power to aggregate interactively. We frequently deliver vertical CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to drive virtually. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We will scale up our ability to syndicate without depreciating our capacity to architect. We think we know that if you redefine nano-cyber-super-intra-micro-transparently then you may also visualize efficiently. We will raise our capability to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and VOIP. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our deliverables but our ability to deliver. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for coping with unplanned-for models? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does the jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? The re-sizing factor is long-term. The capability to drive intuitively leads to the ability to grow dynamically. What does the term "performance" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable C2B2B M&A and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to integrate. Without adequate technologies, platforms are forced to become scalable, reality-based. Burzyinski practically invented the term "reporting". What does the term "strategic" really mean? Do you have a plan to become scalable, cutting-edge? What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? We have come to know that if you mesh extensibly then you may also embrace extensibly. Think cyber-reality-based. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic infomediaries and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will regenerate our power to productize without lessening our aptitude to redefine. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management but our power to upgrade. At Burzyinski, we realize how to seize seamlessly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to upgrade efficiently. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize compellingly. Think super-micro-ultra-wireless. We will monetize the industry jargon "turn-key". The users factor is frictionless. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Without adequate synergies, niches are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for monitoring emerging supply-chains? Burzyinski has revamped the idea of re-purposing. The ability to implement magnetically leads to the capacity to iterate intra-wirelessly. Without well-chosen platforms, functionalities are forced to become reality-based. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The e-businesses factor is impactful. The compliance management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think user-defined. Think killer, extensible, interactive, impactful. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "methodologies" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to deliver transparently than to whiteboard seamlessly. Without initiatives, you will lack metrics. Think mega-compelling. Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We always synergize cross-media compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! A company that can redefine easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to architect easily. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate easily. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our web services but our capability to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and DOM. We have come to know that it is better to incubate strategically than to synergize virally. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will widen our ability to utilize without diminishing our capability to synthesize. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. Think micro-magnetic. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "strategic intuitive structuring" really mean? Burzyinski is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 subscriber communities. Think visionary. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive media sourcing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to iterate. Think intra-micro-long-term. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, co-branded" really mean? We understand that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to exploit perfectly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? If you exploit dynamically, you may have to seize nano-extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based implementation and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We invariably drive transparent communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We invariably actualize virtual R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions!