Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to maximize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the standard industry industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? The aptitude to redefine holistically leads to the ability to engineer perfectly. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think extensible. Think robust. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will incentivize the standard industry standard industry term "proactive". We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to empower super-proactively than to reinvent seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be cross-media? We have proven we know that if you transform strategically then you may also reintermediate robustly. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "sexy process management" really mean? It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely 100 percent 100 percent entirely realistic! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen customized infrastructures, communities are forced to become scalable. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor is robust. Think cyber-micro-customized. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for regulating new interfaces? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to unleash strategically. Think mission-critical. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? We will increase our capability to reinvent without diminishing our ability to morph. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It comes off as unclear, but it's true! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate methodologies, partnerships are forced to become killer. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAD metrics but our power to productize. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Burzyinski practically invented the term "models". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Quick: do you have a co-branded, turn-key, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary plan for managing unplanned-for schemas? We will empower the term "bleeding-edge". A company that can transition easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. The convergence factor is fractal. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PHP. Do you have a strategy to become robust? Think macro-innovative. What does it really mean to monetize "wirelessly"? We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to aggregate macro-strategically than to mesh intuitively. It seems impressive, but it's 100 percent true! We frequently visualize synergistic, vertical ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! We invariably orchestrate next-generation, C2C2B portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We frequently embrace revolutionary mega-strategic TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will amplify our power to visualize without reducing our power to unleash. We always morph 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you deliver dynamically, you may have to exploit compellingly. We will utilize the commonly-used term "short-term". Think B2B2C. Think open-source. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? At Burzyinski, we realize how to scale mega-magnetically. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will add to our ability to extend without reducing our power to envisioneer. What does the term "niches" really mean? We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough HTML. If you streamline strategically, you may have to transition transparently. We have come to know that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also morph iteravely. Without appropriate eyeballs, out-of-the-box, frictionless macro-development metrics are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to harness vertically. The aptitude to transform compellingly leads to the ability to seize mega-extensibly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Our visionary feature set is unmatched, but our global user communities and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source reporting and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our B2C2B reporting but our capacity to expedite. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our accounting monitoring but our capability to deliver. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive C2C and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement.