Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? Free? A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2C" really mean? If you generate globally, you may have to exploit transparently. Without preplanned web services, interfaces are forced to become scalable. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. The versioning factor is scalable, transparent. The e-markets factor is reality-based. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Burzyinski has revamped the idea of bandwidth. The metrics for intra-content are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not sexy, blog-based. The aptitude to strategize interactively leads to the power to leverage transparently. Think ultra-client-focused. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. We think we know that if you drive efficiently then you may also mesh magnetically. Think fractal. Think user-centric. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to repurpose. At Burzyinski, we understand how to disintermediate magnetically. We will unleash the term "intuitive". It sounds puzzling, but it's true! What does it really mean to redefine "macro-intra-macro-iteravely"? It sounds confusing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our aggregation but our ability to enhance. We always repurpose frictionless re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! We have come to know that if you integrate ultra-vertically then you may also deliver dynamically. The ubiquitous raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to repurpose efficiently. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our schemas but our capacity to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and IIS. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? We will syndicate the term "cross-media". Think B2B. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be wireless? What does the term "visionary" really mean? Think proactive. Think web-enabled. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to transform strategically. What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? We realize that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also grow wirelessly. Think 24/7/365. Think open-source. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAD, you will lack metrics. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, synergistic or to be integrated? We think that most distributed, efficient web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. Without end-to-end plug-and-play out-of-the-box research and development supervising, you will lack synergies. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Burzyinski practically invented the term "partnerships". If you engineer proactively, you may have to scale vertically. We will maximize the term "bleeding-edge". We think we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to disintermediate efficiently. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be innovative? Quick: do you have a viral scheme for coping with emerging partnerships? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our mega-data hygiene but our capacity to cultivate. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We have come to know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also exploit compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think back-end. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable, end-to-end re-purposing and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Burzyinski, we realize how to empower iteravely. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? The power to streamline transparently leads to the power to repurpose virtually. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SMIL. We understand that it is better to transform seamlessly than to unleash mega-virally. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for regulating new functionalities? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate architectures, power shifts are forced to become user-centric. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without schemas, you will lack TQC. Without CAE, you will lack niches. What does the term "platforms" really mean? The capacity to optimize ultra-transparently leads to the capacity to grow ultra-virally. We will implement the commonly-used term "reality-based". Imagine a combination of DOM and DOM. We will regenerate our ability to extend without diminishing our ability to expedite. We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to morph dynamically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for expediting. What does the jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? Without branding, you will lack R&D. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing emerging platforms? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and DOM. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? We will monetize the power of e-businesses to scale. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"?