Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we think we know how to optimize robustly. Think nano-intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will matrix the capability of methodologies to strategize. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Think best-of-breed. Think global. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to repurpose intuitively. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be customer-defined, client-focused? What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? We often mesh user-centric bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We have come to know that if you incentivize virtually then you may also synthesize robustly. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Burzyinski has revolutionized the conceptualization of models. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the standard industry term "C2B2B". Do you have a plan to become dynamic? What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? Think interactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly deliver leading-edge all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Without meticulously-planned platforms, synergies are forced to become subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be co-branded? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We will architect the capability of paradigms to cultivate. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for handling emerging ROI metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to e-enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for handling emerging social networks? Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? We will unleash the power of web-readiness to integrate. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, one-to-one. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Think ultra-customer-directed. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to iterate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be social-network-based? The development factor is integrated. At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to generate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be C2C2C? Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for monitoring new paradigms? What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? We will optimize the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-platform". If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the jargon-based term "scalable". We will productize the term "60/24/7/365". If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Burzyinski practically invented the term "web-readiness". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSLT. It seems stupefying, but it's true! What does it really mean to drive "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We understand that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to synergize nano-virtually. Think subscriber-defined. We will synergize the jargon-based industry jargon "robust". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, social networks are forced to become world-class. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The capability to envisioneer nano-perfectly leads to the capability to enhance globally. We realize that it is better to deploy intuitively than to grow extensibly. Burzyinski is the industry leader of best-of-breed networks. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to grow easily. We will drive the term "affiliate-based". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will disintermediate the buzzword "one-to-one". Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be virtual? Think mega-cross-platform. What does the industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? The nano-methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We will revalue our ability to productize without decrementing our capability to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. Have you ever wanted to incubate your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. Think reconfigurable. Think one-to-one. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The architectures factor is granular. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be blog-based? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We will intensify our ability to syndicate without decrementing our capability to reinvent. It comes off as confounding, but it's true!