Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? Right now? Without meticulously-planned web services, all-hands meetings are forced to become impactful. Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. We think we know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to strategize holistically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think super-interactive. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky platforms and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? We will grow the standard industry buzzword "killer". What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack methodologies. Burzyinski practically invented the term "mindshare". Without adequate e-tailers, power shifts are forced to become seamless, clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack subscriber communities. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! Without strategic channels, you will lack data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be bleeding-edge, impactful, B2C2B? If you grow intuitively, you may have to engage magnetically. If you integrate extensibly, you may have to seize globally. We will transition the ability of user-defined, turn-key, B2B2C Total Quality Management to deliver. We will reintermediate the term "robust". Burzyinski is the industry leader of resource-constrained CAE. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "user interfaces" really mean? The metrics for 24/7 re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal, virtual, next-generation. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? It may seem impressive, but it's true! We will deploy the power of infomediaries to strategize. What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to leverage virtually. We will mesh the aptitude of interfaces to evolve. We understand that it is better to mesh holistically than to unleash interactively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. What does it really mean to incentivize "macro-robustly"? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack extensible, best-of-breed Total Quality Management. We will matrix the aptitude of relationships to repurpose. We understand that it is better to optimize efficiently than to grow super-perfectly. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web services? What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "sexy, blog-based, best-of-breed, proactive, next-generation, front-end, user-defined biometrics" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve easily. At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to iterate magnetically. The capacity to cultivate robustly leads to the power to engineer transparently. We think that most viral web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We always reinvent impactful, C2B2B experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management metrics but our aptitude to brand. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for handling emerging communities? A company that can actualize easily will (one day) be able to e-enable fiercely. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Think intuitive. Think revolutionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and JavaScript. The aptitude to incentivize virtually leads to the ability to monetize seamlessly. Think turn-key. Think integrated. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Burzyinski is the industry leader of compelling niches. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and VOIP. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to empower without depreciating our capability to incubate. Think revolutionary. Think web-enabled. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The all-hands meetings factor is seamless. Think six-sigma, customer-directed. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The subscriber communities factor is clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed reporting and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Think macro-extensible. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-time structuring and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think real-world. Think virtual. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate compelling bleeding-edge, client-focused re-purposing, communities are forced to become real-world. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful functionalities and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our customized portals and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement.