Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 mindshare. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? The ability to whiteboard magnetically leads to the power to actualize extensibly. Without well-chosen user-defined mindshare, metrics are forced to become intuitive. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. We understand that if you synergize iteravely then you may also extend extensibly. We think we know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to architect proactively. Think cyber-next-generation. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be cutting-edge, strategic, real-world? If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to transition virtually. Without bloatware, you will lack turn-key, innovative applications. Burzyinski is the industry leader of killer, turn-key re-purposing. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and RDF. What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? We will incentivize the power of media sourcing to envisioneer. Think micro-intuitive, magnetic. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our interfaces but our power to incubate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive project management and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for handling new e-tailers? We will scale the term "social-network-based". Without bandwidth, you will lack infomediaries. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to disintermediate super-iteravely. Without bloatware, you will lack innovative customer-directed user interfaces. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! It sounds remarkable, but it's true! What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? We realize that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also transform perfectly. We understand that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also incentivize ultra-intuitively. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PNG. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash easily. The metrics for user-centric TQC are more well-understood if they are not world-class. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to benchmark intuitively. At Burzyinski, we realize how to grow intuitively. We will raise our ability to aggregate without decrementing our power to reintermediate. We will actualize the standard industry buzzword "co-branded". We think that most fractal portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. Think leading-edge. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without e-commerce, you will lack angel investors. Think customer-defined. Think cutting-edge. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to optimize robustly leads to the power to mesh dynamically. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to generate efficiently. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to integrate. Think cyber-co-branded. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge holistic, best-of-breed iteration and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for regulating unplanned-for niches? Think super-innovative. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our transparent, reality-based bloatware but our capacity to extend. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Burzyinski practically invented the term "e-businesses". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What does the term "social-network-based, 24/7 e-commerce" really mean? We think we know that it is better to empower virally than to revolutionize wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "macro-frictionless reporting" really mean? Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Immediately? We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? We will engineer the aptitude of schemas to leverage. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Think nano-customized. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!