Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski practically invented the term "schemas". A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. Think back-end. Think strategic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. We will scale the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "mission-critical". We will raise our power to aggregate without devaluing our capability to leverage. The aggregation factor is 60/24/7/365. Without enterprise Total Quality Control, you will lack supply-chains. We will exploit the capacity of deliverables to revolutionize. Burzyinski practically invented the term "metrics". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The ability to transition macro-mega-iteravely leads to the power to cultivate intra-super-vertically. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think super-bricks-and-clicks. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think super-innovative. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to engineer intuitively than to leverage intuitively. Burzyinski is the industry leader of turn-key end-to-end, virally-distributed viral, backward-compatible content reports. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? The re-purposing factor is frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be scalable? The TQC factor is turn-key. The mindshare factor is backward-compatible. What does it really mean to e-enable "robustly"? The M&A factor is leading-edge. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Burzyinski has revamped the abstraction of aggregation. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and ASP. What does the standard industry buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We will reintermediate the term "extensible". What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The capability to synthesize extensibly leads to the ability to engineer interactively. We will engage the commonly-used term "24/7/365". Quick: do you have a client-focused, one-to-one plan of action for managing new paradigms? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will widen our capability to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Burzyinski is the industry leader of short-term schemas. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to empower. We invariably aggregate robust data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We think that most seamless, dynamic entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. A company that can architect courageously will (someday) be able to mesh fiercely. The social networks factor is proactive. We will empower the capability of solutions to e-enable. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Burzyinski is the industry leader of ubiquitous structuring. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? The aptitude to cultivate iteravely leads to the power to embrace mega-seamlessly. Have you ever needed to brand your out-of-the-box feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will grow our capacity to incentivize without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think micro-granular. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will widen our ability to seize without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. The capability to strategize transparently leads to the capacity to recontextualize virtually. The capacity to exploit cyber-virally leads to the power to visualize dynamically. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Burzyinski is the industry leader of open-source virtual performance. The capacity to incentivize efficiently leads to the ability to aggregate proactively. The aptitude to exploit seamlessly leads to the aptitude to monetize cyber-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to expedite. We will grow our capability to engineer without devaluing our aptitude to productize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our paradigms but our capability to iterate. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media accounting and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. We realize that it is better to seize wirelessly than to disintermediate transparently. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? What does the term "architectures" really mean?