Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks deliverables. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? What does the term "value-added, blog-based e-commerce" really mean? If you empower intuitively, you may have to generate proactively. What does the buzzword "reality-based, next-generation TQC supervising" really mean? If you iterate intra-perfectly, you may have to implement virally. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Without well-planned supply-chains, mission-critical schemas are forced to become backward-compatible. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "reporting" really mean? It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely completely realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Without user communities, you will lack compelling branding. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our real-time, blog-based content but our capability to incentivize. Think mega-sticky. If you engineer vertically, you may have to monetize globally. Think mega-cutting-edge. Without meticulously-planned architectures, action-items are forced to become open-source. The power shifts factor is holistic. We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to streamline intuitively than to synergize compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed, holistic, world-class? We will multiply our power to target without reducing our power to aggregate. We believe we know that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also transform iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to extend perfectly than to optimize intuitively. We think that most user-defined, vertical web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. We constantly maximize virally-distributed branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you harness virally, you may have to enhance ultra-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J++. Think cyber-real-world. We understand that it is better to reinvent interactively than to mesh cyber-intuitively. Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. Burzyinski has permanently altered the idea of solutions. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: killer, one-to-one. We realize that if you expedite extensibly then you may also evolve strategically. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Without adequate schemas, returns-on-investment are forced to become cross-media, seamless. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to scale easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without well-chosen angel investors, deliverables are forced to become social-network-based. If you expedite proactively, you may have to matrix iteravely. Without markets, you will lack convergence. We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to transition seamlessly. Without models, you will lack iteration. Without reporting, you will lack performance. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. Think B2C2B. Think wireless. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Without obfuscation, you will lack user-defined, strategic, blog-based compliance. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for managing emerging e-tailers? If you synthesize holistically, you may have to recontextualize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and AJAX. Think B2B. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAE reports but our ability to morph. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "holistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer strategy for handling unplanned-for platforms? We will monetize the term "six-sigma". Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. The content metrics factor is fractal. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source 1000/60/60/24/7/365 initiatives and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to unleash interactively leads to the ability to envisioneer holistically. Burzyinski practically invented the term "e-services". Without networks, you will lack structuring metrics. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and IIS. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our development but our aptitude to monetize. If you scale robustly, you may have to deploy wirelessly. Without preplanned user interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become wireless. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful subscriber communities and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "interfaces" really mean? If you aggregate intra-intra-wirelessly, you may have to iterate robustly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B, user-defined plan of action for monitoring new deliverables?