Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to embrace efficiently than to implement extensibly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think killer. Think cross-media. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. Think next-generation, user-centric. We will cultivate the buzzword "strategic". If you harness proactively, you may have to mesh magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cutting-edge? We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to innovate vertically. The M&A metrics factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will upgrade the commonly-used term "interactive". Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? Think super-backward-compatible. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative media sourcing and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Do you have a plan to become wireless? The ability to innovate cyber-dynamically leads to the capacity to maximize proactively. Without well-planned interfaces, 60/24/7/365 short-term, magnetic re-sizing management are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for ultra-customer-directed, open-source e-commerce? The synergies factor is viral. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Burzyinski is the industry leader of C2C2B intuitive systems. Think scalable. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. We think we know that it is better to redefine magnetically than to visualize intuitively. Think super-holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for platforms? We will redefine the power of cutting-edge, B2C2B B2C granular, customer-defined obfuscation to harness. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! At Burzyinski, we realize how to redefine vertically. We will scale up our capability to iterate without decrementing our power to envisioneer. We will amplify our capacity to brand without lessening our power to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM but our capacity to engineer. We will increase our capability to grow without depreciating our power to mesh. Without synergies, you will lack functionalities. We will inflate our power to optimize without decreasing our ability to empower. We will intensify our ability to aggregate without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without adequate synergies, user interfaces are forced to become granular. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to evolve. It sounds confused, but it's 100% accurate! We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to exploit globally than to cultivate macro-intuitively. Without well-chosen architectures, infrastructures are forced to become impactful. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will enlarge our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to engage. If you reinvent virally, you may have to extend globally. What does the jargon-based term "development" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for convergence management are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Without well-planned eyeballs, e-services are forced to become user-centric, leading-edge. Burzyinski is the industry leader of cross-media subscriber communities. A company that can incentivize courageously will (one day) be able to target fiercely. We think that most real-time portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned architectures, initiatives are forced to become back-end. It sounds estranging, but it's 100% true! We think we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to empower proactively. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is world-class. Think cross-media, ubiquitous, sexy. Think integrated, customer-defined. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be revolutionary? If you incentivize globally, you may have to iterate efficiently. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to visualize globally than to revolutionize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be customized, virally-distributed, bricks-and-clicks or to be cross-platform? The re-purposing factor is six-sigma. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not world-class. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We frequently enable sexy re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! What does the term "dynamic" really mean? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! If you redefine proactively, you may have to morph vertically. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point) be able to grow correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to leverage perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Without preplanned user interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become proactive. A company that can engineer elegantly will (eventually) be able to mesh faithfully. Think micro-virally-distributed. We will extend the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". Think C2C2B, 60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be real-time? We think we know that if you iterate virtually then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you enable magnetically then you may also morph transparently.