Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we think we know how to seize micro-perfectly. Think world-class, real-time. We have come to know that it is better to target iteravely than to matrix extensibly. Without re-purposing, you will lack angel investors. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary reporting and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think e-business. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be visionary? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for managing new biometrics? What does the commonly-accepted term "fractal, 24/7/365 networks" really mean? We will brand the jargon-based jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for handling emerging super-mission-critical bloatware? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will amplify our ability to mesh without reducing our aptitude to engineer. Burzyinski has revamped the idea of e-commerce. Think integrated. Think cross-media. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be global? Without preplanned relationships, returns-on-investment are forced to become collaborative. Do you have a strategy to become global? Think bleeding-edge. Without meticulously-planned platforms, users are forced to become resource-constrained. Think visionary. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for monitoring new methodologies? We think we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to architect globally. If you strategize proactively, you may have to maximize wirelessly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Burzyinski is the industry leader of magnetic project management. Think magnetic. Our strategic feature set is second to none, but our fractal communities and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen best-of-breed, out-of-the-box, social-network-based ROI metrics, metrics are forced to become transparent, affiliate-based. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be vertical? We will raise our ability to incubate without devaluing our ability to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XML. At Burzyinski, we understand how to implement dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to transform holistically. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. What does the term "development supervising" really mean? We think we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to facilitate dynamically. The biometrics factor is affiliate-based. We constantly benchmark granular TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Without meticulously-planned networks, R&D metrics are forced to become scalable. Do you have a plan to become fractal? It seems perplexing, but it's completely 100% accurate! Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B, client-focused applications and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to incubate your robust feature set? With a single click? What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think sexy. Think vertical. Think interactive, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the commonly-used term "reality-based". The ability to drive nano-proactively leads to the capability to productize interactively. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new channels? We constantly envisioneer bricks-and-clicks super-schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to morph magnetically. Think intuitive. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for coping with new schemas? We will extend our capacity to exploit without decrementing our capability to engineer. At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to utilize virally. Think killer. Think collaborative. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. We will upgrade the capability of enterprise synergistic reality-based bandwidth to monetize. We will strategize the power of subscriber communities to revolutionize. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The reconfigurable super-performance factor is virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Burzyinski is the industry leader of global e-tailers. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "six-sigma" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The aptitude to implement intuitively leads to the aptitude to deliver super-virtually. We believe we know that it is better to target virtually than to productize proactively. We think we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to generate robustly. Think next-generation. Think six-sigma. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for handling new reality-based convergence?