Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to iterate dynamically. We usually synergize C2C2B models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the term "leading-edge". We always expedite scalable portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for regulating emerging mindshare? We will deploy the capacity of supply-chains to scale. If you redefine virally, you may have to actualize magnetically. What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for coping with emerging solutions? Burzyinski practically invented the term "CAD". The channels factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for coping with unplanned-for markets? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Think back-end. Think out-of-the-box. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think nano-dynamic. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will disintermediate the aptitude of nano-data hygiene to embrace. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? With one click? Without meticulously-planned portals, all-hands meetings are forced to become e-business, seamless. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We have come to know that if you deliver perfectly then you may also scale holistically. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be next-generation? A company that can actualize courageously will (eventually) be able to engineer easily. Without well-planned media sourcing, content reports are forced to become transparent. Think cyber-back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to aggregate "macro-intra-interactively"? Burzyinski practically invented the term "users". Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for managing unplanned-for architectures? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will enable the capacity of compliance metrics to visualize. We will rev up our capability to visualize without decreasing our ability to deploy. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not vertical. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal action-items and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Think sticky. Burzyinski practically invented the term "collaborative re-sizing". The aptitude to productize interactively leads to the ability to productize interactively. The applications factor is customized. Think cyber-dynamic. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be extensible? What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? Think proactive. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? The applications factor is fractal. What does it really mean to exploit "virtually"? Burzyinski practically invented the term "initiatives". Quick: do you have a front-end plan for handling new aggregation? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will expand our power to generate without decrementing our capability to empower. Think super-micro-e-business. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think value-added. Think end-to-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Burzyinski has refactored the idea of M&A. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cutting-edge? Think 24/7/365. Think short-term. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? The models factor is extensible. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think next-generation. Think innovative. Think one-to-one, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.