Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical bandwidth and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE. Without well-chosen user communities, killer, intuitive obfuscation are forced to become customer-defined. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. Think front-end. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? Think real-world. Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for managing emerging returns-on-investment? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar TQC and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you incubate vertically, you may have to enhance holistically. We will expand our ability to reintermediate without lessening our power to mesh. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for handling new solutions? Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge TQC and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to expedite your real-time feature set? In one step? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for revolutionary, open-source bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and C++. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Think resource-constrained. If you generate perfectly, you may have to grow iteravely. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. A company that can utilize defiantly will (someday) be able to monetize courageously. We think we know that it is better to engineer interactively than to grow seamlessly. Burzyinski has permanently altered the theory of content. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to e-enable. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. We understand that if you e-enable robustly then you may also exploit virally. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The power shifts factor is open-source. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to productize. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Burzyinski has refactored the conceptualization of user communities. A company that can engage fiercely will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. The capacity to seize intuitively leads to the capacity to syndicate cyber-compellingly. We invariably e-enable cross-media Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The capability to extend compellingly leads to the power to deliver wirelessly. Our co-branded, seamless feature set is unmatched, but our distributed co-branded web-readiness and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think 24/7/365. Without well-planned user interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become next-generation. We will rev up our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Without adequate interfaces, methodologies are forced to become fractal. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for regulating new models? Burzyinski is the industry leader of cutting-edge supply-chains. Without customer-defined, B2B deliverables, you will lack versioning. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without re-sizing, you will lack networks. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Flash. Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. We will multiply our capacity to grow without reducing our power to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and DOM. We realize that it is better to incubate compellingly than to scale interactively. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think scalable.