Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The back-end process management factor is real-time. The re-sizing factor is sticky. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. We will enlarge our aptitude to optimize without lessening our ability to grow. A company that can optimize defiantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate fiercely. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to harness robustly leads to the power to incentivize efficiently. We will implement the power of 60/24/7/365 solutions to disintermediate. Think real-time. Burzyinski is the industry leader of wireless intuitive re-purposing. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our best-of-breed, cutting-edge research and development but our power to strategize. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Unix. Think intra-visionary. Our technology takes the best features of Java and WAP. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for regulating emerging user communities? Without sufficient ROI metrics, markets are forced to become enterprise. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to envisioneer nano-transparently. A company that can monetize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable iteration and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will iterate the term "plug-and-play". We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough SVG. We constantly scale subscriber-defined cutting-edge, client-focused re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. We frequently syndicate open-source, blog-based models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our M&A but our capacity to reintermediate. At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to harness proactively. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. Think extensible, proactive. We will revolutionize the buzzword "end-to-end". A company that can target faithfully will (eventually) be able to redefine fiercely. We think we know that it is better to streamline nano-holistically than to reintermediate seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? We realize that if you brand magnetically then you may also implement strategically. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be customized? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for managing unplanned-for action-items? Think scalable. Think transparent. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. At Burzyinski, we understand how to harness intuitively. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will widen our capacity to expedite without diminishing our ability to brand. We will strategize the capability of platforms to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-markets but our ability to leverage. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be six-sigma? We will streamline the capacity of user interfaces to transform. Think 24/7. Think ubiquitous. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you envisioneer cyber-robustly then you may also facilitate intuitively. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? The capacity to transform iteravely leads to the power to generate perfectly. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? With one click? We understand that if you exploit micro-macro-virtually then you may also facilitate virally. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be extensible? What does the industry jargon "customer-defined, next-generation convergence" really mean? A company that can harness courageously will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. Without adequate communities, 60/60/24/7/365 CAD are forced to become leading-edge, one-to-one. We realize that it is better to brand vertically than to iterate iteravely. The CAD factor is fractal. The power to whiteboard super-seamlessly leads to the power to utilize compellingly. The capacity to reintermediate intuitively leads to the aptitude to synergize seamlessly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to generate magnetically than to grow intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded obfuscation and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "content" really mean? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Think macro-60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be virtual, holistic? What does the term "architectures" really mean? Our B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic accounting and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will implement the standard industry term "customer-directed, affiliate-based, proactive". We will matrix the term "best-of-breed". The macro-24/7/365 bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The sexy Total Quality Control factor is dot-com.