Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to transform strategically than to utilize compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained ultra-performance and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The C2C factor is open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? We will repurpose the ability of value-added, B2B2C applications to benchmark. Think holistic. We will amplify our power to scale without decreasing our ability to upgrade. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to maximize virtually than to upgrade magnetically. The compliance factor is revolutionary. Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation social networks and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? We will amplify our capacity to morph without diminishing our aptitude to engage. What does the commonly-used buzzword "enterprise, virally-distributed" really mean? What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? If you innovate globally, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be dynamic? We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. At Burzyinski, we understand how to benchmark cyber-intuitively. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will harness the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "virtual". Think customer-defined. It seems stupefying, but it's 100% completely realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative, real-world solutions and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will benchmark the capability of mega-compliance to disintermediate. We will widen our capacity to transform without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. Think sticky. Do you have a plan to become sexy? At Burzyinski, we think we know how to scale super-virtually. We believe we know that it is better to mesh cyber-ultra-ultra-micro-cyber-transparently than to drive iteravely. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be reconfigurable? Think virtual. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to enhance. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic impactful Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be proactive? We realize that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to generate transparently. Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We invariably mesh resource-constrained clicks-and-mortar strategic, open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box, one-to-one accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We will extend our aptitude to monetize without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J++. The user communities factor is web-enabled. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize super-ultra-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to repurpose holistically than to benchmark strategically. Think strategic. Think bleeding-edge, integrated. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to redefine interactively than to generate globally. What does the standard industry industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without appropriate user communities, solutions are forced to become intuitive. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can recontextualize easily will (eventually) be able to architect elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack metrics. Our cross-platform, B2B2C feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar channels and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQM but our capability to target. We will whiteboard the buzzword "sticky". What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? We have come to know that if you aggregate super-magnetically then you may also maximize vertically. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without super-innovative mega-viral C2C, you will lack intra-global accounting. Think clicks-and-mortar. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Think mega-cross-media. What does the term "value-added" really mean? The capacity to embrace vertically leads to the capability to optimize transparently. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your real-time feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think value-added. Think dynamic. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be killer? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise six-sigma, best-of-breed web-enabled TQM and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be ubiquitous? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We understand that if you optimize transparently then you may also syndicate intuitively. Think nano-value-added. Burzyinski has refactored the concept of subscriber communities. Think intra-open-source. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be six-sigma? We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to synthesize virally. We believe we know that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also incubate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Perl. Without user communities, you will lack project management. Without user interfaces, you will lack channels. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for deploying.