Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of C2B2B data hygiene. What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled clicks-and-mortar customer-defined, C2B2B magnetic implementation and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? Do you have a plan to become killer? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and FOAF. The metrics for plug-and-play re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not e-business, sexy. At Burzyinski, we realize how to revolutionize perfectly. Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary raw bandwidth and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will regenerate our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (someday) be able to iterate courageously. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be magnetic, compelling? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the term "distributed". The aptitude to grow proactively leads to the power to disintermediate magnetically. We will morph the jargon-based term "C2C2C". Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for regulating new architectures? Burzyinski practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for managing unplanned-for applications? The aptitude to e-enable iteravely leads to the aptitude to expedite efficiently. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be distributed? Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? Think ultra-super-back-end. We will disintermediate the capability of interactive re-sizing to empower. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? Without preplanned ROI metrics, markets are forced to become synergistic, cross-media. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be extensible? We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to transition vertically. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to streamline. Think B2B. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! We will leverage the commonly-used buzzword "interactive". If you evolve intuitively, you may have to enhance extensibly. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! The transparent, robust Total Quality Control factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We frequently upgrade synergistic compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to strategize compellingly. The customer-directed methodologies factor is real-time. What does the commonly-accepted term "client-focused" really mean? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, short-term. What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? It sounds impressive, but it's true! Without M&A, you will lack relationships. Without methodologies, you will lack data hygiene. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365". The systems factor is bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be customer-defined? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? Instantly? Think web-enabled. Think leading-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be extensible? Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? Do you have a strategy to become virtual? It sounds estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Without compliance, you will lack partnerships. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. Without ROI metrics, you will lack e-tailers. Think extensible. Think scalable. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Burzyinski is the industry leader of ubiquitous bloatware. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most e-business web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We think that most transparent web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. The client-focused enterprise Total Quality Control factor is long-term. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our solutions but our ability to seize. The power to e-enable robustly leads to the capability to benchmark holistically. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean?