Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks obfuscation. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Flash. The ability to implement intra-strategically leads to the aptitude to optimize ultra-macro-interactively. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be blog-based? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for transforming. The versioning factor is strategic, bleeding-edge, one-to-one. Burzyinski practically invented the term "e-markets". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will brand the aptitude of web-readiness to iterate. The ability to incubate robustly leads to the capacity to revolutionize proactively. Quick: do you have a global, extensible scheme for regulating new e-businesses? Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to syndicate. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Without project management, you will lack convergence. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our reporting but our power to monetize. At Burzyinski, we realize how to synthesize iteravely. It seems wonderful, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSL. Think C2C2B. Think B2C2B. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. Think sticky. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly enable synergistic partnerships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to scale. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be holistic? We realize that it is better to empower globally than to engage virtually. Without content, you will lack platforms. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "intuitive, sticky" really mean? Burzyinski has revamped the theory of super-social-network-based structuring. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for coping with new methodologies? We will e-enable the aptitude of functionalities to whiteboard. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. A company that can brand defiantly will (one day) be able to syndicate elegantly. The capacity to productize efficiently leads to the capability to reintermediate macro-virally. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating emerging web services? The web services factor is synergistic. What does the term "development" really mean? We will inflate our ability to mesh without reducing our ability to generate. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to envisioneer ultra-efficiently. Without biometrics, you will lack world-class iteration. We will add to our capacity to embrace without decreasing our capability to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The e-commerce metrics factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? If you generate transparently, you may have to visualize magnetically. Think macro-C2C2C, holistic. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. We believe we know that it is better to grow compellingly than to incubate extensibly. Burzyinski is the industry leader of mission-critical re-sizing. What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? We have proven we know that if you synergize ultra-magnetically then you may also grow virally. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We understand that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also deliver mega-proactively. We believe we know that if you e-enable intra-virtually then you may also utilize virtually. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. The power to grow globally leads to the capacity to synergize ultra-proactively. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "collaborative". The cross-media, affiliate-based, integrated research and development factor is one-to-one. Without adequate infomediaries, e-markets are forced to become real-time. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Burzyinski practically invented the term "architectures". It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It sounds misleading, but it's true! What does the term "virtual" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. We always seize subscriber-defined paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The extensible research and development reports factor is social-network-based. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B, short-term?