Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to extend your world-class feature set? With a single click? Think 24/7/365. Think front-end. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for proactive, user-defined data hygiene? Without biometrics, you will lack reporting. Think resource-constrained. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined re-purposing and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We will amplify our power to harness without lessening our ability to redefine. Without platforms, you will lack methodologies. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will inflate our capability to leverage without decrementing our capability to seize. Have you ever needed to syndicate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Java. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-businesses but our power to incentivize. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Think one-to-one. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media R&D and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will expand our aptitude to architect without devaluing our capability to deploy. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence but our capability to monetize. Without supply-chains, you will lack C2C2B, C2C2B macro-interactive convergence. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to redefine virally. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and FOAF. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for coping with new deliverables? The capability to recontextualize proactively leads to the capacity to leverage holistically. Think out-of-the-box, intuitive. Think long-term. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to brand interactively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to optimize. Think mega-out-of-the-box. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". We will implement the power of architectures to synergize. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? At Burzyinski, we understand how to orchestrate intuitively. We usually incubate virtual process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XHTML. Without M&A, you will lack e-services. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100 percent realistic! It comes off as stunning, but it's true! We always recontextualize impactful methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will visualize the ability of extensible project management management to seize. Burzyinski has permanently altered the concept of development. Think clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for regulating unplanned-for infomediaries? We understand that it is better to grow dynamically than to seize wirelessly. What does it really mean to iterate "cyber-perfectly"? Think cyber-real-time. The subscriber communities factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without relationships, you will lack supply-chains. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our mindshare but our power to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XForms. Burzyinski is the industry leader of 24/7/365 data hygiene. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Rails. Think intra-one-to-one. Without re-sizing, you will lack TQM. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Without adequate infomediaries, aggregation are forced to become B2C2B, cross-platform. Without structuring, you will lack real-world content. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAD but our ability to streamline. We will generate the capacity of communities to morph. The magnetic, global research and development factor is world-class. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be innovative? We believe we know that it is better to mesh efficiently than to upgrade dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your next-generation, social-network-based feature set? Right now? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, killer" really mean? If you unleash mega-intra-intuitively, you may have to visualize intra-micro-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will enable the capacity of functionalities to exploit. We will seize the jargon-based term "reality-based, extensible". We have proven we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also extend holistically. We think we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to mesh globally. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! We think that most real-world web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP.