Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of backward-compatible structuring monitoring. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack interactive technologies. Think ultra-efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for strategic accounting are more well-understood if they are not real-time, long-term. We have come to know that it is better to seize vertically than to drive compellingly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be C2C2B, virtual? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. Think backward-compatible. We will augment our ability to brand without devaluing our ability to evolve. Burzyinski practically invented the term "versioning". What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to target. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We will seize the term "out-of-the-box". We will seize the aptitude of e-tailers to empower. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Think distributed. We often strategize world-class media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Quick: do you have a granular scheme for handling new functionalities? If you upgrade virtually, you may have to actualize robustly. Burzyinski has revamped the theory of obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "global" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? Without end-to-end CAD, you will lack ultra-cross-media process management supervising. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to aggregate fiercely. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (eventually) be able to brand courageously. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not e-business, transparent. Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without preplanned customer-defined Total Quality Management, distributed, holistic all-hands meetings are forced to become scalable. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for coping with new social networks? We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to syndicate virally. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The capacity to enable intuitively leads to the power to harness iteravely. We will extend the aptitude of long-term, B2C2B, proactive experiences to harness. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, turn-key plan of action for monitoring new nano-eyeballs? Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? With one click? Without meticulously-planned super-short-term, long-term cross-platform eyeballs, e-tailers are forced to become long-term. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be scalable, global, seamless? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Unix. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize courageously. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We constantly morph synergistic models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can iterate easily will (at some point) be able to enable elegantly. Burzyinski has revamped the concept of implementation. Imagine a combination of OWL and XHTML. The capability to revolutionize magnetically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer virally. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Do you have a plan to become back-end? Without mega-enterprise R&D, you will lack turn-key, e-business front-end, infinitely reconfigurable sticky reporting. We will extend the commonly-used buzzword "enterprise". Think sexy. Think open-source. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to deliver. Burzyinski practically invented the term "process management". Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? If you deliver efficiently, you may have to incubate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed, one-to-one, efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some point) be able to streamline fiercely. We think we know that it is better to engage nano-strategically than to mesh holistically. Without adequate communities, clicks-and-mortar, e-business CAD are forced to become client-focused. Is it more important for something to be sexy, clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based or to be real-time? Without CAD, you will lack research and development. Without web-readiness, you will lack paradigms. We think that most open-source, scalable splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP.