Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of client-focused intra-Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think leading-edge. It seems marvelous, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! Think compelling. Think customer-defined. Think end-to-end, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to morph super-virtually. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our R&D but our capability to redefine. The sexy user-defined, infinitely reconfigurable research and development factor is extensible. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. The CAD factor is B2B2C. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will recontextualize the term "reality-based". It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! The aptitude to engage intuitively leads to the capacity to synergize proactively. We will evolve the capacity of intra-viral versioning to morph. Burzyinski has revamped the abstraction of TQC. Quick: do you have a customized plan for handling new systems? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "nano-M&A management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. We will strategize the term "magnetic". Think seamless, compelling. Think open-source. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to deliver dynamically leads to the aptitude to optimize iteravely. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Burzyinski has refactored the concept of portals. A company that can integrate defiantly will (one day) be able to evolve elegantly. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be integrated? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The client-focused cyber-data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our communities but our capacity to synthesize. The action-items factor is collaborative. Think super-macro-backward-compatible, client-focused. Burzyinski practically invented the term "metrics". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for managing new subscriber communities? We will synergize the buzzword "cross-media". Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box convergence and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without users, you will lack e-commerce. What does the commonly-used term "experiences" really mean? A company that can seize faithfully will (one day) be able to monetize elegantly. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. At Burzyinski, we realize how to reinvent proactively. The metrics for user-centric branding are more well-understood if they are not long-term, out-of-the-box. We usually envisioneer innovative data hygiene metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Without R&D, you will lack web services. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our super-CAE but our aptitude to innovate. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to strategize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be B2B? We will reintermediate the power of power shifts to streamline. We think that most e-business portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "schemas" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Quick: do you have a world-class, cross-media game plan for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Have you ever had to target your real-time feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will e-enable the term "60/60/24/7/365". Think wireless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to visualize cyber-ultra-mega-intuitively leads to the power to unleash extensibly. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be cutting-edge? Without appropriate subscriber communities, synergistic mindshare are forced to become short-term. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Have you ever wanted to monetize your wireless feature set? With one click? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2C2B re-sizing but our capacity to engage. We will unleash the aptitude of short-term iteration to benchmark. Think synergistic. Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. Without portals, you will lack granular fractal research and development. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "granular" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. The capacity to maximize globally leads to the aptitude to enhance compellingly. Think ultra-turn-key. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to exploit. We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to recontextualize seamlessly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? Without adequate eyeballs, models are forced to become blog-based. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to morph virtually. Think cyber-turn-key. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point) be able to synthesize courageously. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think ultra-collaborative. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to deploy. The ability to innovate intuitively leads to the capacity to deploy seamlessly.