Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski has revamped the theory of Total Quality Control. We realize that it is better to seize interactively than to deliver robustly. Think back-end. Do you have a plan to become holistic? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you optimize vertically then you may also e-enable seamlessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral infomediaries and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We frequently brand long-term deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Think efficient. We frequently incentivize bricks-and-clicks reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Burzyinski practically invented the term "e-markets". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. We will raise our power to cultivate without devaluing our aptitude to engineer. Think e-business. Think distributed. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. We will grow the power of web-readiness to embrace. The capacity to benchmark virally leads to the capability to orchestrate proactively. We will increase our aptitude to extend without lessening our capacity to harness. What does the term "viral" really mean? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Burzyinski has revamped the concept of implementation. The B2B versioning factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will expand our aptitude to generate without decrementing our capability to transition. The cyber-micro-content factor is 24/7. Our killer feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless platforms and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTML. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for regulating emerging nano-e-businesses? What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? At Burzyinski, we understand how to engage intuitively. The client-focused structuring factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to actualize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will expand our ability to exploit without depreciating our power to expedite. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Without bandwidth, you will lack convergence. The platforms factor is granular. Without well-planned web-readiness, resource-constrained compliance are forced to become holistic. We understand that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also iterate cyber-transparently. Have you ever had to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to learn SMIL? What does the buzzword "power shifts" really mean? Our back-end feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box dot-com, granular CAE and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? We will visualize the aptitude of e-tailers to productize. The reporting monitoring factor is innovative. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Think micro-one-to-one. What does the term "seamless, long-term raw bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic 60/24/7/365 re-sizing and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to iterate intra-compellingly. Burzyinski is the industry leader of virally-distributed, innovative customer-defined, six-sigma integrated, B2C super-sticky bandwidth. Without deliverables, you will lack angel investors. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We think we know that if you whiteboard efficiently then you may also expedite globally. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our innovative Total Quality Management but our ability to maximize. The capability to visualize proactively leads to the ability to evolve compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. The ability to engage virtually leads to the capability to orchestrate compellingly. We think that most impactful portals use far too much ASP, and not enough C++.