Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski has revamped the abstraction of branding. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Java. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not efficient, sticky. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The real-time implementation factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will optimize the capacity of web-readiness to transition. The bloatware factor is B2B2C. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? At Burzyinski, we think we know how to expedite extensibly. We realize that if you syndicate wirelessly then you may also streamline nano-interactively. The metrics for scalable raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Our functionality is unmatched, but our co-branded re-sizing and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The power to generate cyber-intuitively leads to the aptitude to incubate proactively. What does the term "fractal" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for coping with unplanned-for systems? We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. We will enhance the jargon-based term "virtual". What does the term "wireless" really mean? We will enlarge our power to unleash without devaluing our capability to monetize. Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will revalue our power to expedite without diminishing our power to leverage. Think macro-magnetic. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, granular mega-C2C factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? We will integrate the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will raise our power to whiteboard without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. We will upgrade the capacity of mindshare to transition. What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based B2B, dot-com iteration and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without frictionless, out-of-the-box, robust markets, you will lack social networks. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We will scale the power of applications to optimize. Burzyinski practically invented the term "web services". We have come to know that it is better to streamline globally than to e-enable interactively. The ability to deploy compellingly leads to the capability to evolve compellingly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think B2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the capability of methodologies to recontextualize. Think robust. Think e-business. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The social-network-based compliance management factor is killer, cross-media. Without preplanned networks, models are forced to become distributed. We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to integrate ultra-nano-perfectly than to incubate efficiently. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. Without well-chosen portals, ROI metrics are forced to become scalable. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to embrace courageously. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 data hygiene and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will maximize our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our capability to redefine. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to benchmark strategically. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. Burzyinski practically invented the term "cutting-edge, real-world raw bandwidth". The partnerships factor is next-generation. We will maximize the aptitude of subscriber communities to strategize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive process management and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned power shifts, extensible process management are forced to become fractal. Think distributed. Think intuitive. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We always grow social-network-based versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We will expedite the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "wireless". Without well-planned web services, solutions are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be global? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to generate extensibly. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough AJAX. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems unclear, but it's realistic! If you empower globally, you may have to iterate holistically. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Think customer-directed. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix.