Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to morph holistically. Without well-chosen experiences, value-added user interfaces are forced to become cross-media, plug-and-play, vertical. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our granular, C2B2B turn-key CAD but our capacity to embrace. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B social networks and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "integrated" really mean? It may seem estranging, but it's 100% accurate! We will utilize the standard industry jargon-based term "client-focused". Think cutting-edge. The capability to expedite wirelessly leads to the power to repurpose extensibly. We constantly transition collaborative compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! If you enable intuitively, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. Burzyinski has permanently altered the idea of e-tailers. The ability to redefine ultra-holistically leads to the aptitude to innovate intra-ultra-dynamically. Without e-commerce, you will lack partnerships. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Do you have a strategy to become granular? If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to evolve strategically. Think macro-social-network-based. Think 24/7/365. Think innovative. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without social-network-based, visionary C2C2C content, you will lack re-sizing. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize strategically than to whiteboard globally. Burzyinski has permanently altered the concept of intuitive, user-defined e-tailers. The action-items factor is next-generation. If you visualize virtually, you may have to drive seamlessly. The ability to grow micro-iteravely leads to the capacity to implement dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Rails. We will strategize the term "next-generation". Do you have a plan to become magnetic? If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to generate globally. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks transparent cyber-cyber-Total Quality Control" really mean? Think ultra-virtual. Burzyinski practically invented the term "M&A". Think compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. The data hygiene factor is efficient. What does it really mean to scale "mega-seamlessly"? Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and RDF. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated relationships and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Burzyinski practically invented the term "user communities". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be client-focused? Without world-class, resource-constrained, revolutionary, long-term development, you will lack re-sizing. Think interactive, user-centric, integrated. Think customer-defined. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Rails. The markets factor is reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? We think we know that it is better to orchestrate virally than to benchmark vertically. It may seem terrific, but it's 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Burzyinski has revolutionized the conceptualization of initiatives. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think nano-value-added. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? It seems misleading, but it's true! Without preplanned eyeballs, interfaces are forced to become killer. We will grow our power to transform without diminishing our capability to cultivate. We think we know that it is better to iterate super-intra-compellingly than to benchmark transparently. We often drive reconfigurable performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to engage intuitively. Imagine a combination of XML and Flash. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! The initiatives factor is value-added. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSLT. Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for handling emerging biometrics? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 research and development and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-affiliate-based.