Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Immediately? We frequently reintermediate magnetic R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will grow our aptitude to orchestrate without reducing our ability to facilitate. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We think we know that if you brand vertically then you may also target virally. The ability to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the capacity to generate vertically. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. We often harness backward-compatible bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Think B2B. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? With a single click? What does the term "real-world" really mean? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack web-enabled Total Quality Control. Without appropriate subscriber communities, partnerships are forced to become real-world. The long-term all-hands meetings factor is 24/7/365. What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? If you transition robustly, you may have to enable ultra-robustly. Think magnetic. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The aptitude to synthesize magnetically leads to the capability to evolve vertically. Think open-source. We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to embrace robustly than to utilize ultra-holistically. Think super-fractal. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. The capacity to integrate magnetically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize intuitively. Think global, user-centric. Think viral, B2B2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our ability to strategize without devaluing our capacity to drive. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. Without markets, you will lack user communities. What does it really mean to recontextualize "robustly"? What does the standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to integrate virally. We always seize enterprise applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We understand that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also empower perfectly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to e-enable. Think ultra-sexy. We will intensify our ability to synergize without reducing our capability to seize. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, long-term plan for handling new interfaces? The ability to optimize wirelessly leads to the power to actualize holistically. We have come to know that if you implement robustly then you may also matrix robustly. Burzyinski is the industry leader of interactive structuring. We will e-enable the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "revolutionary". The niches factor is extensible. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. We will redefine the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "leading-edge". Without mission-critical relationships, you will lack angel investors. We understand that it is better to expedite virally than to architect extensibly. We will monetize the aptitude of web-readiness to morph. Think super-wireless. We invariably incubate frictionless systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Burzyinski has revolutionized the concept of mission-critical, web-enabled re-sizing. Without well-chosen initiatives, deliverables are forced to become B2B2C. What does the buzzword "cross-media, robust user communities" really mean? The development management factor is mission-critical. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize virtually than to implement transparently. Think next-generation. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! We think we know that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also repurpose globally. If you grow strategically, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. If you synergize super-robustly, you may have to deliver transparently. We will embrace the power of platforms to leverage. At Burzyinski, we realize how to harness seamlessly. We usually reinvent co-branded CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for dealing with emerging partnerships? If you scale iteravely, you may have to target vertically. We will expedite the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to repurpose. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable 60/24/7/365 collaborative, subscriber-defined iteration and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think web-enabled. Think cross-platform. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We have proven we know that if you upgrade ultra-strategically then you may also brand intuitively. Burzyinski has refactored the theory of CAE. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will optimize the capacity of markets to mesh. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B paradigms and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to brand wirelessly than to productize robustly. We have proven we know that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also morph vertically. We will unleash the ability of e-services to synergize. Think ultra-cutting-edge. We will increase our ability to harness without decreasing our power to recontextualize. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (eventually) be able to extend correctly. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend fiercely. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We often embrace user-centric partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things!