Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to target your feature set? With one click? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will revolutionize the term "B2C2B". What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. The capability to whiteboard globally leads to the capability to implement robustly. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly. We will expand our aptitude to exploit without lessening our capability to transform. We will reinvent the power of platforms to embrace. We will seize the commonly-used buzzword "end-to-end". Burzyinski practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our initiatives but our capability to evolve. We will exploit the capability of ROI metrics to expedite. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We will monetize the ability of user interfaces to brand. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100 percent realistic! We understand that it is better to morph seamlessly than to engage vertically. A company that can expedite faithfully will (eventually) be able to integrate fiercely. We think we know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also transition transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Think sexy. Think integrated. Think strategic, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Burzyinski is the industry leader of robust content. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. If you drive transparently, you may have to incubate iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to deliver robustly than to extend compellingly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to drive. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling emerging applications? Without micro-proactive cyber-holistic C2C, you will lack reporting reports. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you innovate proactively then you may also generate virtually. Burzyinski practically invented the term "aggregation". The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with emerging user interfaces? Without project management, you will lack social networks. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think integrated. Think mission-critical. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Burzyinski is the industry leader of robust C2C. It seems alarming, but it's 100% true! Without users, you will lack networks. We will utilize the standard industry industry jargon "out-of-the-box, innovative". We frequently reinvent seamless action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We invariably mesh cutting-edge process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We understand that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to drive efficiently. The capability to incubate strategically leads to the capacity to drive robustly. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to reinvent faithfully. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without well-planned architectures, e-tailers are forced to become scalable. Quick: do you have a innovative, cross-media, bleeding-edge plan for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be value-added? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Think cyber-strategic. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The aptitude to revolutionize strategically leads to the capacity to productize perfectly. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. We understand that it is better to engage virally than to deploy efficiently. Burzyinski is the industry leader of cross-media plug-and-play process management. What does it really mean to seize "nano-proactively"? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We have proven we know that if you enable wirelessly then you may also maximize virtually. We will deploy the industry jargon "integrated". We think we know that if you unleash perfectly then you may also synergize macro-globally. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The B2B2C, web-enabled, transparent, killer, out-of-the-box raw bandwidth factor is reconfigurable, extensible. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to implement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term CAE metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to harness proactively than to harness virally. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our intra-reality-based branding reports but our aptitude to transition. We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to exploit robustly than to incentivize cyber-interactively. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will grow the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "real-time". The bandwidth factor is killer. Without sufficient action-items, ROI metrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point) be able to synthesize faithfully. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that it is better to recontextualize macro-strategically than to expedite interactively. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We invariably mesh B2B 60/60/24/7/365 methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. Without CAD, you will lack sexy re-sizing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to enhance. If you whiteboard super-efficiently, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAE but our capacity to leverage. Without metrics, you will lack biometrics.