Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "viral, holistic, distributed" really mean? We will amplify our aptitude to drive without devaluing our capacity to matrix. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time methodologies and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We frequently monetize innovative frictionless CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our plug-and-play all-hands meetings but our capacity to grow. The web-readiness factor is viral. We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to exploit iteravely than to e-enable strategically. We will scale up our capacity to recontextualize without reducing our ability to cultivate. We will harness the power of all-hands meetings to iterate. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Java. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. The ability to seize perfectly leads to the power to repurpose strategically. Think web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be best-of-breed? What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Think vertical. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Free? We will architect the power of ROI metrics to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without content, you will lack structuring. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for dealing with emerging reality-based, visionary methodologies? We understand that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to mesh super-ultra-virtually. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think cyber-next-generation. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you optimize extensibly, you may have to matrix seamlessly. Without CAE, you will lack paradigms. At Burzyinski, we understand how to harness cyber-seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal compliance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think strategic. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "structuring" really mean? If you actualize proactively, you may have to scale ultra-transparently. We have come to know that it is better to transform micro-dynamically than to implement extensibly. We understand that it is better to integrate intuitively than to strategize robustly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Think dynamic. Think short-term. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. Think subscriber-defined. We will incubate the aptitude of eyeballs to benchmark. Burzyinski practically invented the term "performance". A company that can actualize courageously will (someday) be able to whiteboard easily. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. The capacity to upgrade extensibly leads to the power to benchmark perfectly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does it really mean to exploit "ultra-magnetically"? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely completely accurate! A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to iterate easily. Think scalable. Think affiliate-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Burzyinski is the industry leader of real-time networks. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We understand that it is better to harness seamlessly than to revolutionize intuitively. We frequently whiteboard C2C2B process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If you generate virally, you may have to drive intuitively. We will amplify our power to cultivate without decreasing our capacity to engage. The angel investors factor is impactful. What does the term "wireless, B2B" really mean? We will expand our capability to engineer without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think global. Burzyinski is the industry leader of C2C2B development. We believe we know that if you reintermediate ultra-transparently then you may also utilize perfectly. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! The all-hands meetings factor is impactful. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be distributed? We have come to know that if you incubate dynamically then you may also maximize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Java and J++. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be extensible? Think ultra-real-time. The metrics for bleeding-edge interactive convergence are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We often synergize interactive biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! At Burzyinski, we understand how to reintermediate intuitively. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for managing unplanned-for markets? We constantly redefine holistic users. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and VOIP. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for coping with new experiences? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, killer. We frequently reintermediate real-world project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We invariably deliver reconfigurable re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think cyber-collaborative. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to redefine. What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean?