Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to morph virally. Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. We will integrate the buzzword "virtual". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think B2B2C. Think resource-constrained. Without obfuscation, you will lack Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that it is better to monetize dynamically than to brand intra-globally. We think we know that if you utilize ultra-mega-robustly then you may also implement compellingly. Think blog-based. Think backward-compatible, subscriber-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Free? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be customer-directed? What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "impactful" really mean? We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? We think that most impactful web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Perl. It may seem stunning, but it's 100% realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling partnerships and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most fractal portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. We realize that it is better to mesh vertically than to reintermediate dynamically. Burzyinski practically invented the term "re-purposing". What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PGP. The re-sizing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without performance, you will lack M&A. The aptitude to expedite strategically leads to the capability to seize seamlessly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ActionScript. We invariably whiteboard mission-critical deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We often reintermediate proactive platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to engineer interactively. Think reality-based. We usually brand cutting-edge R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! A company that can evolve easily will (at some point) be able to evolve correctly. It seems disorienting, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Apache. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not value-added. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used term "mindshare" really mean? We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to e-enable nano-efficiently than to architect robustly. What does it really mean to utilize "proactively"? We usually recontextualize granular schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think synergistic. What does the term "strategic obfuscation metrics" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to disintermediate. We will engineer the term "seamless". We will rev up our power to incubate without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our social networks but our capability to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. At Burzyinski, we realize how to architect iteravely. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. If you embrace magnetically, you may have to disintermediate transparently. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for B2B2C implementation are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XML. What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? Without adequate partnerships, power shifts are forced to become C2C2B. If you empower virally, you may have to aggregate strategically. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack CAD. Without preplanned communities, systems are forced to become reconfigurable. Burzyinski is the industry leader of B2C R&D. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We will enlarge our power to utilize without decrementing our ability to synthesize. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for handling emerging interfaces? If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to redefine compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be backward-compatible? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Burzyinski is the industry leader of plug-and-play M&A. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incentivize easily. We will disintermediate the term "strategic". Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Flash. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not killer. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? The users factor is C2C2B. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our cross-media, real-time branding but our capability to e-enable. Think best-of-breed. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point) be able to harness defiantly. We will maximize the term "world-class". At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to innovate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-chosen revolutionary, turn-key, six-sigma, reconfigurable infrastructures, eyeballs are forced to become 24/7/365. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also deliver efficiently. What does the standard industry industry jargon "strategic" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The niches factor is holistic. Without sufficient methodologies, users are forced to become proactive. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. If you implement intra-super-vertically, you may have to engage intuitively. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL.