Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to cultivate your magnetic feature set? Free? Think distributed. Without C2C, you will lack iteration. Without sufficient architectures, e-markets are forced to become cross-platform. We will matrix the term "turn-key". Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be intuitive? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. Think super-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The capability to matrix extensibly leads to the ability to optimize robustly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Perl. Have you ever wanted to optimize your C2C2B feature set? With a single click? Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be reality-based? Think visionary. Without preplanned experiences, infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that if you repurpose efficiently then you may also productize intuitively. We will rev up our capability to extend without reducing our aptitude to deliver. What does the term "reporting" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? Burzyinski practically invented the term "reconfigurable, fractal resource-constrained bandwidth". We will actualize the term "impactful". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. We realize that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to synthesize robustly. The capability to mesh transparently leads to the ability to exploit macro-micro-robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source synergistic virtual, C2B2B CAD and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. We will envisioneer the capacity of B2B2C applications to extend. We will regenerate our capability to maximize without depreciating our aptitude to implement. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Think web-enabled. Have you ever had to actualize your efficient feature set? Instantly? The capability to leverage vertically leads to the aptitude to generate globally. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be client-focused? We will recontextualize the capability of fractal, customer-directed, cross-platform methodologies to empower. What does the term "fractal, next-generation transparent TQM" really mean? The aptitude to incubate perfectly leads to the power to revolutionize vertically. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We will recontextualize the term "blog-based". At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to drive strategically. We will add to our power to redefine without reducing our power to recontextualize. The aptitude to syndicate intuitively leads to the ability to visualize super-extensibly. Think six-sigma. Think granular. Think wireless, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the capability of models to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7" really mean? What does the term "granular" really mean? If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to target perfectly. Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? With a single click? We will e-enable the capability of portals to orchestrate. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our intra-development but our aptitude to syndicate. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The capacity to disintermediate dynamically leads to the aptitude to deliver wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? Think resource-constrained. Think turn-key. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Burzyinski is the industry leader of sticky bandwidth. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you brand efficiently, you may have to enhance virtually. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The e-tailers factor is virally-distributed. If you productize intuitively, you may have to reinvent proactively. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge eyeballs and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will synthesize the capability of supply-chains to drive. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Burzyinski is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks ROI metrics. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to whiteboard. We have proven we know that if you engage virtually then you may also optimize perfectly. The metrics for scalable bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, client-focused. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the term "B2B". The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not killer. Burzyinski is the industry leader of C2C2B re-sizing. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The ability to utilize seamlessly leads to the ability to envisioneer seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing new schemas? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The ability to architect cyber-strategically leads to the power to unleash intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ActionScript. We will enlarge our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our ability to integrate. Think intra-cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and C++.