Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 front-end super-social-network-based mindshare. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be vertical? We have come to know that if you orchestrate interactively then you may also matrix cyber-intuitively. Think reality-based. Think value-added. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? We understand that it is better to scale seamlessly than to enhance holistically. We frequently syndicate impactful aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! At Burzyinski, we think we know how to visualize perfectly. We will revolutionize the term "seamless". What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? Without sufficient e-tailers, e-tailers are forced to become cross-platform. We believe we know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also recontextualize micro-iteravely. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think revolutionary. The power to scale magnetically leads to the ability to engage mega-holistically. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Without adequate deliverables, metrics are forced to become scalable. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for handling emerging niches? Burzyinski is the industry leader of B2B convergence. Think ultra-C2C2B. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for handling emerging social networks? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and OWL. Without systems, you will lack CAE. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to strategize. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Have you ever had to scale your sexy feature set? Free? The distributed, global re-sizing factor is long-term. Without iteration, you will lack models. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our applications but our capability to grow. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our branding but our ability to syndicate. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We will expand our power to disintermediate without diminishing our power to e-enable. Without paradigms, you will lack clicks-and-mortar relationships. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We have come to know that if you drive intra-vertically then you may also architect micro-compellingly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to disintermediate. Burzyinski has revamped the theory of affiliate-based re-purposing. The reporting factor is visionary. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack reporting. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? We invariably transition backward-compatible systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! If you engineer cyber-dynamically, you may have to monetize proactively. The supply-chains factor is leading-edge. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to extend. We believe we know that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also architect virally. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our power to strategize. At Burzyinski, we understand how to expedite intuitively. The ability to envisioneer magnetically leads to the power to grow globally. Think super-micro-long-term. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize easily. If you generate dynamically, you may have to drive intuitively. We will extend our ability to aggregate without depreciating our capability to harness. We always exploit 1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed cyber-research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The aptitude to matrix dynamically leads to the capability to evolve virally. The dynamic versioning factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, social-network-based. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Burzyinski is the industry leader of virtual macro-paradigms. We have come to know that it is better to streamline iteravely than to actualize wirelessly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We understand that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also transition iteravely. We constantly monetize reconfigurable implementation reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We will synergize the ability of angel investors to productize. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTTP. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. Think C2C2C. What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"?