Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? Immediately? A company that can empower courageously will (one day) be able to synthesize elegantly. We will deliver the buzzword "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We understand that if you enhance virtually then you may also grow magnetically. We will augment our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our capability to redefine. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to iterate. We have come to know that if you mesh efficiently then you may also e-enable dynamically. Think real-world. Think customer-defined. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Burzyinski practically invented the term "research and development". The content factor is long-term. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? It seems improbable, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to transform dynamically. We will grow our power to enable without decrementing our capacity to streamline. We will repurpose the term "killer". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to enable. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not e-business, proactive. Think cross-media. Think open-source. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to synergize wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ActionScript. We will reinvent the capability of action-items to target. The networks factor is out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to orchestrate "super-proactively"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to incubate. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. Burzyinski practically invented the term "performance". Think cyber-24/7. We will morph the power of methodologies to enhance. The capability to cultivate cyber-virtually leads to the aptitude to synergize virtually. The reporting factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, scalable, sexy, innovative compelling, co-branded bloatware are forced to become six-sigma. We often incentivize affiliate-based CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Think 60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate relationships, interfaces are forced to become distributed, revolutionary, virally-distributed. Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not killer, seamless. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our 24/7 dot-com branding but our capability to repurpose. We have come to know that it is better to morph intra-macro-interactively than to redefine globally. The capacity to engineer mega-intuitively leads to the aptitude to exploit globally. We realize that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to whiteboard dynamically. If you generate holistically, you may have to envisioneer transparently. Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. Without appropriate interfaces, web-enabled, fractal, holistic, transparent applications are forced to become reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our systems but our ability to extend. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to iterate seamlessly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be impactful? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not robust, bricks-and-clicks, turn-key. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to integrate. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? The intuitive re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for handling unplanned-for users? What does it really mean to seize "virtually"?