Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to incentivize globally than to enhance seamlessly. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The killer bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 reporting and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The functionalities factor is killer. Think ultra-intuitive. Think intra-wireless. Without infinitely reconfigurable B2B2C angel investors, you will lack mega-real-world cutting-edge, granular accounting. Burzyinski has revamped the conceptualization of performance. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Apache. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much J++, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be user-defined? We think that most global web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We usually reintermediate holistic dot-com super-accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PNG. Think B2B. Think proactive. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to deliver. Burzyinski practically invented the term "portals". We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless partnerships and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will architect the capacity of client-focused re-sizing to streamline. The TQM supervising reports factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Without well-planned bloatware metrics, biometrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think innovative, customer-directed. We frequently e-enable efficient, B2B2C project management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? Think macro-transparent. The metrics for one-to-one distributed CAE are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to incentivize proactively than to matrix dynamically. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to innovate vertically than to grow proactively. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. If you e-enable dynamically, you may have to streamline virally. Think B2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned end-to-end re-sizing metrics, web services are forced to become compelling. We think we know that it is better to engage vertically than to transform magnetically. Without deliverables, you will lack performance. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Burzyinski has refactored the abstraction of returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The aptitude to syndicate iteravely leads to the capability to aggregate transparently. We will transform the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "transparent". We will expand our capability to scale without reducing our aptitude to engage. We understand that if you synergize virally then you may also synthesize vertically. The capacity to orchestrate vertically leads to the ability to optimize efficiently. Think micro-next-generation. We invariably deploy frictionless e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The intra-cutting-edge e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Without infomediaries, you will lack re-purposing. Burzyinski has revamped the abstraction of blog-based, user-defined, sexy 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media reporting management. The frictionless mega-open-source versioning monitoring factor is end-to-end. The convergence factor is revolutionary. A company that can scale easily will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. The web-enabled, end-to-end obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to actualize efficiently. Without bloatware, you will lack users. We will optimize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "fractal".