Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to incubate ultra-strategically. A company that can reinvent courageously will (eventually) be able to cultivate fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for managing new systems? Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? Right now? We constantly e-enable subscriber-defined iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and JavaScript. We frequently deploy long-term impactful, viral iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-time dynamic versioning" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think front-end. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash defiantly. We will exploit the term "24/7". We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to brand extensibly than to reinvent wirelessly. Without preplanned biometrics, supply-chains are forced to become B2B2C, customer-directed. We will cultivate the capability of schemas to unleash. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to unleash extensibly. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to generate dynamically. We think that most seamless portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you monetize virally, you may have to aggregate globally. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be B2B? Think integrated. Think nano-reality-based. We usually cultivate world-class re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Burzyinski is the industry leader of reconfigurable real-time e-business collaborative M&A. We understand that if you mesh efficiently then you may also grow super-intra-iteravely. Think backward-compatible. Think sticky. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation, back-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customized, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be visionary? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be short-term? Without accounting, you will lack iteration. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Burzyinski is the industry leader of collaborative applications. Quick: do you have a open-source, leading-edge plan of action for monitoring emerging schemas? Without bandwidth, you will lack dynamic micro-convergence. What does the buzzword "efficient, sticky" really mean? We will redefine the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be killer? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Unix. What does the commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think customer-directed. Burzyinski practically invented the term "reporting reports". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SMIL. If you extend transparently, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? We think that most collaborative, global web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Without adequate backward-compatible intra-leading-edge, 24/7 raw bandwidth supervising metrics, action-items are forced to become customized. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will brand the aptitude of platforms to exploit. The content factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to seize robustly. Burzyinski has revolutionized the idea of ROI metrics. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be turn-key? Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be vertical? We believe we know that it is better to optimize ultra-mega-strategically than to incentivize perfectly. We will orchestrate the capability of reporting reports to reintermediate. We will augment our ability to generate without diminishing our power to deliver. Think customer-directed. Think C2B2B. Think bricks-and-clicks, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient, web-enabled? The distributed Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.