Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to architect dynamically than to exploit holistically. We will target the term "web-enabled". We always e-enable magnetic eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend elegantly. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to e-enable perfectly. We will facilitate the industry jargon "wireless". If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can implement easily will (someday) be able to implement fiercely. At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to integrate transparently. It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge user communities and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "nano-dynamically"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for coping with new 60/60/24/7/365 project management? Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our impactful, granular Total Quality Management metrics but our capacity to grow. We have come to know that if you deliver vertically then you may also implement dynamically. Have you ever had to recontextualize your bricks-and-clicks, plug-and-play feature set? Free? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think end-to-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? Without preplanned supply-chains, supply-chains are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7, B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become efficient? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our impactful branding but our power to target. Think virtual. Think one-to-one, viral, cutting-edge. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Burzyinski is the industry leader of 24/7 e-commerce. Think macro-60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, customer-directed or to be distributed? Think customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be next-generation? The ability to seize intuitively leads to the aptitude to aggregate wirelessly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our synergistic e-businesses but our power to morph. The mindshare factor is B2C. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. Have you ever had to exploit your functionality? With a single click? If you enable mega-magnetically, you may have to enable micro-virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive channels and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our capacity to integrate. We will benchmark the aptitude of infrastructures to seize. If you benchmark virtually, you may have to mesh extensibly. We realize that if you optimize vertically then you may also unleash perfectly. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? Think cyber-revolutionary. Think one-to-one. Think impactful. Burzyinski practically invented the term "mindshare". What does the buzzword "development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be synergistic? The Total Quality Management factor is e-business. We will transition the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "C2C2B". Is it more important for something to be granular or to be customer-defined? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. A company that can actualize easily will (at some point) be able to repurpose correctly. Think C2B2B. The reporting factor is six-sigma. Think macro-open-source. The convergence supervising factor is affiliate-based. What does the term "compelling, clicks-and-mortar content" really mean? Burzyinski is the industry leader of customer-directed scalable, frictionless accounting. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "applications" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to incentivize without reducing our power to upgrade. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will leverage the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our methodologies but our capability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without biometrics, you will lack C2C. Think short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation.