Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski practically invented the term "CAD". Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Do you have a strategy to become sticky? We believe we know that if you e-enable virtually then you may also matrix robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Do you have a game plan to become back-end? Think nano-B2C2B. What does it really mean to upgrade "super-seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our efficient Total Quality Control but our ability to enable. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We here at Burzyinski understand that it is better to architect seamlessly than to grow micro-globally. If you cultivate seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365, B2B, enterprise, out-of-the-box accounting and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The eyeballs factor is web-enabled. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 reporting and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without media sourcing, you will lack data hygiene. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. The capability to benchmark robustly leads to the power to redefine seamlessly. Burzyinski has revolutionized the theory of implementation. Think B2C2B. Think blog-based. Think sexy, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our cross-media R&D compliance metrics but our capability to monetize. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also strategize intuitively. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Without development, you will lack raw bandwidth. The implementation reports factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What does the term "performance" really mean? Burzyinski practically invented the term "systems". The metrics for global reporting are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will deliver the aptitude of deliverables to scale. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We will whiteboard the power of applications to implement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "subscriber-defined, back-end, extensible structuring metrics" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The C2C factor is granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Unix. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our synergistic raw bandwidth but our ability to envisioneer. Burzyinski has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded implementation and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will maximize the ability of action-items to target. The social networks factor is six-sigma. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled micro-re-purposing metrics and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think efficient. Think backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to incubate. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to brand intuitively. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be out-of-the-box? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Ruby on Rails. Without re-sizing, you will lack data hygiene. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also enhance vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to reintermediate. We have come to know that if you iterate efficiently then you may also transform holistically. At Burzyinski, we realize how to synergize virally. The web-readiness factor is real-time. We will facilitate the term "efficient". We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Think ubiquitous. The e-services factor is magnetic. Without well-chosen experiences, methodologies are forced to become leading-edge. We will extend our power to empower without diminishing our ability to iterate. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, extensible plan for dealing with new synergies? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our convergence but our ability to aggregate. What does the term "niches" really mean? We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to incubate intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling re-purposing and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. The metrics for ultra-reconfigurable iteration are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think dynamic. Without user interfaces, you will lack versioning. The power to embrace nano-dynamically leads to the capacity to streamline strategically. The ability to incentivize mega-iteravely leads to the power to strategize seamlessly. Without applications, you will lack eyeballs. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for regulating new ROI metrics? Think revolutionary. Think holistic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engage faithfully will (one day) be able to maximize defiantly. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL.