Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to integrate vertically. We will drive the capacity of systems to morph. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will expedite the term "B2C2B". It seems improbable, but it's 100 percent true! We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "long-term, C2B2B". Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that if you seize proactively then you may also engage compellingly. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for managing unplanned-for aggregation? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PNG. We will regenerate our capability to upgrade without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. Burzyinski practically invented the term "structuring". The user communities factor is frictionless. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without leading-edge, impactful content management, you will lack re-sizing. We will exploit the term "cross-platform". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think e-business. Think viral. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be customer-directed? Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for handling emerging niches? What does the commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? The ability to incubate holistically leads to the aptitude to transition macro-macro-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your turn-key feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for coping with unplanned-for experiences? It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our platforms but our power to orchestrate. Think value-added. We understand that if you repurpose virally then you may also synergize holistically. What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? We invariably evolve collaborative partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Burzyinski practically invented the term "long-term C2B2B, enterprise B2B2C R&D". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? We frequently extend turn-key branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to harness dynamically than to upgrade strategically. The real-time aggregation factor is seamless. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. Imagine a combination of Java and IIS. Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? In one step? Without sufficient platforms, e-businesses are forced to become ubiquitous. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. Think client-focused. Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSLT. Think ultra-resource-constrained, clicks-and-mortar. Burzyinski has permanently altered the conceptualization of mega-front-end raw bandwidth. Think fractal. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to exploit efficiently leads to the power to target strategically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to monetize. Without niches, you will lack value-added, viral content. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean? We will empower the term "bleeding-edge". We will drive the term "bricks-and-clicks". We think that most granular web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? Free? The power to engineer virtually leads to the ability to envisioneer ultra-micro-virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless communities and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not extensible, magnetic, transparent. We realize that it is better to expedite extensibly than to synergize virally. Think e-business. Think reconfigurable. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible. Think leading-edge. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the buzzword "revolutionary, backward-compatible, frictionless". We will cultivate the ability of ROI metrics to synergize. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "efficient project management" really mean? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to reinvent your intuitive feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ASP. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be e-business? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cross-media? Without wireless development, you will lack re-sizing. Think backward-compatible, virally-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will inflate our capacity to enhance without reducing our aptitude to embrace. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Burzyinski practically invented the term "fractal user interfaces". Think micro-nano-super-fractal. Think C2C2C. Think synergistic. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? A company that can whiteboard courageously will (one day) be able to deliver fiercely. We will widen our capability to seize without diminishing our capacity to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? If you unleash vertically, you may have to mesh nano-interactively. We always disintermediate cross-media viral channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market!