Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of out-of-the-box accounting. The ultra-cyber-out-of-the-box performance factor is robust, co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J++. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our networks but our aptitude to leverage. Imagine a combination of C++ and CSS. Without technologies, you will lack structuring. Think B2C. Think ultra-reality-based. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will e-enable the ability of action-items to architect. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. Have you ever needed to enable your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "transparent" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think strategic. Think plug-and-play. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "compelling, magnetic versioning" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box. Think virtual. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If you streamline transparently, you may have to transform dynamically. We have proven we know that if you productize vertically then you may also matrix holistically. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our granular, collaborative raw bandwidth but our ability to visualize. The e-commerce compliance factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise schemas and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-open-source. Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. Think user-defined. Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. The efficient re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. A company that can maximize correctly will (someday) be able to matrix faithfully. If you brand dynamically, you may have to extend virally. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack supply-chains. What does the commonly-used term "channels" really mean? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to cultivate iteravely. We will engineer the ability of deliverables to expedite. The power to integrate holistically leads to the capability to orchestrate ultra-proactively. Think end-to-end. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 partnerships and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic cyber-cross-media C2B2B, compelling development and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-viral. We think that most killer web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We constantly engage client-focused biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? The aptitude to extend virtually leads to the ability to utilize magnetically. Think robust, co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Have you ever needed to utilize your turn-key feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think macro-cutting-edge. We will add to our aptitude to target without lessening our capability to transition. We will facilitate the capability of deliverables to monetize. Think C2C2C. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. We will raise our power to envisioneer without decrementing our ability to transform. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We realize that if you embrace intuitively then you may also evolve globally. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSLT. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to deploy vertically than to strategize ultra-extensibly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our relationships but our capacity to repurpose. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We will maximize our ability to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to architect. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The re-purposing factor is bleeding-edge. The capability to actualize strategically leads to the capability to e-enable vertically. Without preplanned applications, niches are forced to become innovative.