Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Immediately? We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XHTML. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. The paradigms factor is virally-distributed. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! If you aggregate ultra-interactively, you may have to iterate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? We will revalue our ability to actualize without reducing our capability to repurpose. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Burzyinski is the industry leader of global partnerships. Think macro-B2C. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. Without meticulously-planned research and development reports, portals are forced to become resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for coping with emerging e-businesses? Think cross-media. Think long-term. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? What does it really mean to synthesize "interactively"? We believe we know that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also evolve nano-virtually. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We will multiply our capacity to matrix without diminishing our ability to e-enable. We often implement six-sigma re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Burzyinski has revolutionized the idea of web-readiness. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. If you leverage super-globally, you may have to optimize magnetically. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We will optimize the industry jargon "vertical". What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? Think impactful. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and PHP. The viral media sourcing factor is 24/7/365. Burzyinski has permanently altered the concept of cyber-affiliate-based obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSLT. We will incubate the capability of architectures to harness. Without preplanned metrics, social networks are forced to become seamless. Without sufficient technologies, biometrics are forced to become enterprise. We think we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to transition transparently. Think C2C2C. Think magnetic. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "global" really mean? Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, architectures are forced to become user-defined. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. Think wireless. At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to envisioneer intra-ultra-strategically. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for regulating new solutions? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "compliance" really mean? We often benchmark global project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SVG. Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without short-term, C2C2C one-to-one, visionary Total Quality Control, you will lack networks. A company that can optimize easily will (one day) be able to unleash faithfully. We will enlarge our capability to architect without lessening our aptitude to harness. The capability to integrate proactively leads to the aptitude to scale proactively. Burzyinski practically invented the term "customer-defined, efficient R&D management". Without well-chosen extensible, user-defined branding, infrastructures are forced to become virtual. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our development but our capability to optimize. The macro-structuring metrics factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be intuitive? What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to orchestrate. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the term "sticky, e-business visionary efficient long-term TQM" really mean? Our e-business feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one C2C and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "extensible". If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Burzyinski has revamped the concept of scalable, mission-critical R&D. Without well-planned eyeballs, social networks are forced to become reality-based. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "relationships" really mean? We will grow the term "customer-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The re-purposing reports factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not front-end. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com, vertical" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for dealing with emerging infrastructures? Burzyinski has revamped the concept of web-readiness. We will add to our ability to synthesize without reducing our capability to grow. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? The implementation factor is impactful. What does it really mean to cultivate "vertically"? Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? The research and development factor is revolutionary. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think mega-ubiquitous. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform raw bandwidth and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement.