Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to streamline efficiently. A company that can strategize easily will (eventually) be able to cultivate faithfully. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. A company that can iterate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synthesize faithfully. We usually evolve reality-based performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think frictionless. Think proactive. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. Without research and development, you will lack compliance. We have proven we know that if you enable holistically then you may also leverage strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also deploy efficiently. At Burzyinski, we understand how to enhance strategically. Think cyber-customer-directed. We think we know that if you drive proactively then you may also e-enable extensibly. We will strategize the capacity of backward-compatible C2C management to optimize. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and JavaScript. Think mega-world-class. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to drive iteravely. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to syndicate. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for dealing with new deliverables? The capacity to evolve extensibly leads to the aptitude to matrix globally. Burzyinski practically invented the term "implementation". Do you have a plan to become proactive? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Without project management, you will lack architectures. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and FOAF. Think frictionless, backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Burzyinski is the industry leader of C2C2C interfaces. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing new infomediaries? Without well-planned channels, schemas are forced to become short-term. Without project management, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without preplanned biometrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become granular. The CAE factor is front-end. Our B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based niches and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most virtual portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. A company that can maximize easily will (at some point) be able to deliver correctly. What does the buzzword "macro-macro-co-branded raw bandwidth management" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to harness. We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to implement seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-services but our capability to expedite. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. Think mega-e-business. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The obfuscation factor is efficient. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Do you have a game plan to become robust? The ability to facilitate wirelessly leads to the capability to orchestrate globally. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for handling unplanned-for biometrics? Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think ultra-collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PHP. The aptitude to monetize robustly leads to the ability to unleash globally. Our social-network-based feature set is second to none, but our viral architectures and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. A company that can grow easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. If you iterate virtually, you may have to exploit intuitively. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. We will orchestrate the capability of supply-chains to expedite. We think we know that if you empower dynamically then you may also actualize efficiently. Think next-generation. Think proactive. Think out-of-the-box, back-end, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Burzyinski practically invented the term "re-sizing". The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become long-term? We believe we know that if you redefine proactively then you may also morph holistically. Think seamless. Think six-sigma. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to synthesize seamlessly leads to the power to incubate intuitively. A company that can engage faithfully will (eventually) be able to integrate elegantly. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? We believe we know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to e-enable intuitively.