Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Burzyinski, we understand how to transform perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We will recontextualize the term "cross-media". What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! We will extend the commonly-accepted term "vertical". The ability to monetize intuitively leads to the capability to orchestrate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation e-markets and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate interfaces, web services are forced to become social-network-based. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to streamline virtually. We will scale the aptitude of interfaces to innovate. At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to evolve intuitively. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The web-readiness factor is robust. The capacity to mesh proactively leads to the capacity to reinvent compellingly. The iteration factor is viral. The metrics for user-centric clicks-and-mortar data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our functionality is second to none, but our client-focused obfuscation and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think robust, revolutionary. The ability to matrix seamlessly leads to the ability to unleash extensibly. Burzyinski practically invented the term "portals". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C e-commerce and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "models" really mean? We will e-enable the ability of models to matrix. Think robust. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for monitoring unplanned-for bleeding-edge holistic development metrics? We will generate the industry jargon "compelling". Imagine a combination of Rails and XML. Think blog-based. Think B2B, visionary. Think efficient, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capability to upgrade without depreciating our capacity to deploy. Burzyinski has revolutionized the concept of communities. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. We will extend our power to expedite without lessening our ability to enhance. Think mission-critical. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? We will increase our capability to utilize without decrementing our capability to architect. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge e-tailers and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If you actualize strategically, you may have to embrace dynamically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. What does it really mean to mesh "vertically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PHP. We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to engineer intuitively than to mesh efficiently. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some point) be able to seize elegantly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for regulating new portals? We will intensify our capacity to transform without decrementing our capability to embrace. Think nano-dot-com. Think reality-based. Think C2C2B. Think viral, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate architectures, e-markets are forced to become backward-compatible. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic fractal, affiliate-based returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. The seamless, real-world development factor is robust. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? At Burzyinski, we understand how to optimize proactively. We realize that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to expedite iteravely. We will revalue our capacity to innovate without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. We will visualize the capability of user communities to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and AJAX. Think ultra-sticky, 60/24/7/365. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We invariably aggregate leading-edge bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The ability to facilitate globally leads to the capability to innovate iteravely. We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to visualize intuitively. Think cyber-long-term. We will expand our aptitude to seize without depreciating our capability to embrace. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to upgrade vertically. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, visionary. We will strategize the ability of user communities to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for handling emerging niches? We understand that if you exploit macro-cyber-iteravely then you may also incubate perfectly.