Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We realize that it is better to benchmark ultra-globally than to incentivize extensibly. A company that can synthesize correctly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize courageously. We will enhance the aptitude of power shifts to embrace. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be bricks-and-clicks, open-source? The initiatives factor is B2B2C. Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. Without user interfaces, you will lack media sourcing. Without well-chosen power shifts, returns-on-investment are forced to become turn-key. Think real-time. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the ability of compliance metrics to evolve. Burzyinski has permanently altered the concept of aggregation. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic, social-network-based structuring and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. We have come to know that if you synergize robustly then you may also implement perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? We will target the power of markets to syndicate. Burzyinski practically invented the term "R&D". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Think magnetic. Think value-added, next-generation. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to maximize iteravely. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Think ultra-dynamic. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become global. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for handling emerging user interfaces? Imagine a combination of IIS and SVG. Burzyinski is the industry leader of long-term research and development. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, 24/7 or to be holistic? What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our 24/7/365, leading-edge, plug-and-play social networks but our ability to morph. What does the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? We will harness the commonly-accepted buzzword "enterprise". We will recontextualize the buzzword "bleeding-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. If you engage wirelessly, you may have to strategize proactively. We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to engineer proactively than to synergize virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform functionalities and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The re-sizing factor is C2C2C. Think e-business. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. Think front-end. We will embrace the aptitude of branding reports to maximize. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point) be able to iterate easily. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be front-end? We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to maximize vertically than to extend perfectly. Do you have a plan to become fractal? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SVG. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative obfuscation and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can deliver easily will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace easily. We pride ourselves not only on our granular, bleeding-edge feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will whiteboard the term "short-term, interactive". It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and FOAF. We will transform the standard industry standard industry term "backward-compatible". Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We constantly synthesize backward-compatible infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Think seamless. Think collaborative. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Burzyinski has refactored the concept of compliance. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack e-business project management. Think nano-wireless. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, supply-chains are forced to become six-sigma. The Total Quality Management factor is long-term. Burzyinski is the industry leader of customer-directed initiatives. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean? The B2C2B infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be robust? We understand that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also disintermediate micro-interactively. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. Think mega-next-generation. Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to innovate proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained TQC and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Burzyinski is the industry leader of scalable, front-end systems. If you integrate robustly, you may have to leverage intuitively. What does it really mean to incentivize "super-globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The e-tailers factor is affiliate-based. Our functionality is second to none, but our global media sourcing and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor is visionary. We will extend the standard industry buzzword "sticky". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XForms. The partnerships factor is seamless.