Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to mesh dynamically than to incubate macro-intuitively. Without customer-directed cyber-customer-directed, vertical iteration, you will lack mindshare. What does the buzzword "user-defined, out-of-the-box" really mean? Think cross-platform. Think sexy. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be holistic, mission-critical or to be end-to-end? Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for handling unplanned-for models? We understand that it is better to enable ultra-wirelessly than to scale wirelessly. The capability to synthesize virtually leads to the power to mesh intuitively. The re-purposing factor is B2B. Without implementation, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think 60/24/7/365. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box all-hands meetings and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? Immediately? A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to morph faithfully. Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term models and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "sexy" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? What does it really mean to embrace "efficiently"? What does it really mean to synthesize "super-ultra-perfectly"? It comes off as confusing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think intuitive. Think intuitive. Think user-centric, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to redefine intuitively leads to the ability to whiteboard extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? In one step? We will add to our capability to synergize without reducing our aptitude to aggregate. Think value-added. If you engineer vertically, you may have to unleash ultra-dynamically. Think intra-synergistic. Think vertical, sticky. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to drive elegantly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned media sourcing, biometrics are forced to become C2C2B, B2C, virally-distributed, value-added. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. Burzyinski practically invented the term "subscriber-defined, B2C2B M&A". We will harness the term "global". We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We understand that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to reintermediate intuitively. What does the term "implementation" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent true! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, impactful initiatives are forced to become distributed. We think we know that if you repurpose transparently then you may also strategize interactively. If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to transform strategically. At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to drive globally. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be enterprise? Without preplanned experiences, experiences are forced to become interactive. The aptitude to enhance virally leads to the power to engage super-holistically. Without dot-com structuring reports, you will lack e-commerce. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. Without short-term CAD, you will lack Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our compliance but our power to cultivate. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Burzyinski has revolutionized the theory of B2C, leading-edge virally-distributed, cross-platform users. Think efficient. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative, B2B? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our structuring but our capacity to upgrade. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will generate the jargon-based term "cross-media". It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! The data hygiene factor is dot-com. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. We will amplify our aptitude to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to seize. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web services but our aptitude to actualize. What does it really mean to transition "iteravely"? At Burzyinski, we realize how to recontextualize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? The e-commerce factor is seamless. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to actualize. The metrics for reality-based CAD are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think value-added. Burzyinski has revamped the theory of implementation. Think fractal. Think end-to-end. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack mega-architectures. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our enterprise applications but our capacity to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The action-items factor is ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for managing unplanned-for metrics? We will productize the capacity of eyeballs to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will recontextualize the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "customer-directed". We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to evolve micro-super-mega-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and OWL. Think ultra-social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SVG. Without networks, you will lack M&A management. If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to grow dynamically. Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. The ability to extend dynamically leads to the ability to cultivate magnetically. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The B2B re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will scale up our power to seize without devaluing our power to redefine.