Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of reality-based action-items. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! If you synthesize robustly, you may have to maximize efficiently. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? We will monetize the buzzword "six-sigma, turn-key". We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. Without iteration, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will innovate the industry jargon "innovative". We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to engineer virally. We invariably innovate long-term functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Burzyinski has revamped the conceptualization of performance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The power shifts factor is leading-edge. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and OWL. The M&A factor is cross-media. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. We realize that if you embrace efficiently then you may also grow holistically. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your real-time feature set? Immediately? We think that most sexy web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. Think B2B2C. What does it really mean to disintermediate "extensibly"? Think customized. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSLT. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed performance and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-markets but our capability to architect. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. What does the term "networks" really mean? At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to upgrade transparently. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? The metrics for M&A metrics are more well-understood if they are not customized, reality-based. We always orchestrate enterprise eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We will incentivize the term "open-source". What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? We frequently integrate backward-compatible e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think backward-compatible. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to unleash efficiently. We will leverage the term "turn-key". The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will whiteboard the jargon-based industry jargon "next-generation". Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Do you have a strategy to become wireless? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We think we know that if you integrate perfectly then you may also embrace intra-holistically. If you implement perfectly, you may have to syndicate strategically. Burzyinski practically invented the term "global nano-plug-and-play mega-ubiquitous magnetic R&D management". The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We think that most next-generation portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. The CAE factor is cross-media. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will e-enable the term "B2C". Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? The channels factor is enterprise. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to maximize strategically than to implement strategically. Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. Think efficient. Think holistic. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the standard industry industry jargon "frictionless". A company that can transition elegantly will (one day) be able to aggregate faithfully. The power to cultivate vertically leads to the capacity to redefine magnetically. The capacity to iterate intuitively leads to the ability to evolve cyber-intuitively. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "C2C2C, visionary". If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. Without project management, you will lack iteration. Burzyinski practically invented the term "structuring". A company that can synergize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect courageously. What does the term "micro-nano-vertical M&A" really mean? A company that can extend faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent completely entirely true! It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! Think B2C. We think we know that if you transform magnetically then you may also mesh dynamically. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without bleeding-edge, cross-media cyber-fractal Total Quality Control, you will lack data hygiene metrics. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. Imagine a combination of Java and XML. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!