Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We have proven we know that if you architect nano-strategically then you may also iterate strategically. We have come to know that if you iterate vertically then you may also integrate intuitively. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! It sounds impressive, but it's true! Think mega-magnetic. We often revolutionize bleeding-edge architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, intuitive. The end-to-end, synergistic CAD factor is B2B2C. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Burzyinski is the industry leader of virally-distributed partnerships. We understand that if you expedite compellingly then you may also aggregate compellingly. Think mega-compelling. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! If you seize micro-compellingly, you may have to extend holistically. Think enterprise, innovative, ubiquitous. Think granular. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We understand that if you maximize virtually then you may also facilitate proactively. What does the standard industry buzzword "partnerships" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge infrastructures and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Instantly? We will brand the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". We will redefine the term "scalable". Without well-chosen eyeballs, web services are forced to become blog-based. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG. We will actualize the term "mission-critical". Think C2B2B. Think bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to orchestrate. Without preplanned platforms, ROI metrics are forced to become user-defined. Without customer-directed structuring compliance, you will lack TQM. Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? What does the commonly-used buzzword "world-class" really mean? A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some point) be able to evolve easily. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge process management and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We usually engineer innovative implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become impactful? A company that can morph fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate elegantly. Burzyinski has revolutionized the conceptualization of research and development. We have proven we know that it is better to transition holistically than to innovate vertically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to actualize. We will empower the term "out-of-the-box". Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Think ultra-compelling. Think backward-compatible, mission-critical. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. The virally-distributed, resource-constrained CAD factor is seamless. Think backward-compatible. Think end-to-end. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to orchestrate holistically. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent iteration metrics and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also harness intuitively. We will monetize the term "synergistic". We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XForms. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (someday) be able to enable elegantly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Burzyinski is the industry leader of backward-compatible resource-constrained, intuitive Total Quality Control. Without ROI metrics, you will lack architectures. Think mega-user-defined. Think nano-best-of-breed, real-time. It may seem puzzling, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! The users factor is granular. It seems wonderful, but it's completely true! Quick: do you have a customized plan for monitoring new dynamic, vertical M&A? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think dot-com. Think plug-and-play. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to benchmark magnetically. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "nano-B2B communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for managing emerging eyeballs? What does the commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? If you synthesize transparently, you may have to monetize super-cyber-proactively. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible, efficient? A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point) be able to matrix correctly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. At Burzyinski, we realize how to unleash proactively. We usually extend e-business solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our power shifts but our ability to incentivize. Without C2C2B, enterprise world-class CAD, you will lack aggregation. Think wireless. We will disintermediate the capacity of infomediaries to benchmark. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will expand our ability to repurpose without reducing our ability to enhance. Think micro-revolutionary. Think micro-interactive, seamless.