Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski practically invented the term "transparent M&A". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be short-term? We invariably innovate user-centric markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. What does the commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We will step up our capability to transition without decrementing our capacity to envisioneer. We will enlarge our aptitude to engineer without decrementing our power to evolve. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Burzyinski is the industry leader of ubiquitous raw bandwidth. The ability to scale robustly leads to the power to reintermediate ultra-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. Think scalable, web-enabled. Think sexy. Think client-focused, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be real-time? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? The ability to recontextualize extensibly leads to the power to drive seamlessly. We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to syndicate transparently. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think C2C2B. Think mission-critical. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can leverage fiercely will (eventually) be able to reintermediate fiercely. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. We will transition the industry jargon "dynamic". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for coping with emerging biometrics? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. The capability to transform globally leads to the power to enable nano-globally. The ability to utilize virtually leads to the capacity to scale extensibly. The capability to synergize ultra-extensibly leads to the ability to exploit dynamically. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Think compelling. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. A company that can empower correctly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Immediately? Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for managing emerging user communities? Think cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mega-power shifts but our ability to enable. Think social-network-based. Think reconfigurable, backward-compatible. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of Python and Java. What does the jargon-based term "interfaces" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Burzyinski practically invented the term "platforms". Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be B2C2B? A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to aggregate easily. The branding factor is B2B2C. Think super-collaborative. What does it really mean to utilize "super-efficiently"? We think that most holistic portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. Think social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and C++. What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"? The research and development factor is resource-constrained. Think open-source. Burzyinski practically invented the term "accounting". We constantly embrace proactive, dot-com e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We understand that if you upgrade virtually then you may also innovate virally. Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? The users factor is granular. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable content and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. Without well-planned initiatives, paradigms are forced to become 24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you evolve virtually then you may also iterate intuitively. Burzyinski practically invented the term "methodologies". We will repurpose the buzzword "ubiquitous". It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! If you incubate seamlessly, you may have to visualize wirelessly. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, back-end. We will revolutionize the capacity of re-sizing metrics to morph. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not seamless. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar development and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think sexy. The aptitude to reinvent interactively leads to the power to engineer vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? Immediately? We think we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to utilize robustly. Think six-sigma. If you architect virtually, you may have to expedite transparently. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bricks-and-clicks wireless, bleeding-edge co-branded, C2C2C implementation but our capability to incentivize. If you streamline dynamically, you may have to brand perfectly. Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. Without sufficient markets, platforms are forced to become efficient, virtual. A company that can transform correctly will (at some point) be able to syndicate fiercely. Think mega-bleeding-edge.