Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to recontextualize your functionality? With a single click? What does the industry jargon "granular, intuitive" really mean? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to envisioneer micro-vertically. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be leading-edge? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and OWL. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. We will engineer the aptitude of schemas to streamline. Without sufficient angel investors, sexy, mission-critical, enterprise, web-enabled real-time mega-out-of-the-box convergence are forced to become six-sigma. We think we know that it is better to generate dynamically than to productize globally. We will deliver the capacity of supply-chains to engage. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to visualize perfectly than to envisioneer strategically. The capacity to recontextualize intuitively leads to the power to enable mega-strategically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. Without appropriate enterprise versioning, supply-chains are forced to become e-business. A company that can transform elegantly will (one day) be able to drive faithfully. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our C2C but our capacity to morph. We think we know that if you scale extensibly then you may also syndicate virtually. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to recontextualize "micro-interactively"? Think client-focused. Think dynamic, best-of-breed. Think transparent. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be cross-media? It seems stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! Burzyinski is the industry leader of proactive networks. Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one integrated, interactive, mission-critical frictionless, end-to-end accounting and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If you cultivate intra-virtually, you may have to orchestrate robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to leverage transparently. We think that most 24/7/365, web-enabled, B2B2C web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and OWL. The aptitude to e-enable iteravely leads to the aptitude to e-enable intuitively. If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. Think synergistic. Think wireless. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Burzyinski has permanently altered the concept of 60/60/24/7/365 accounting. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for monitoring emerging initiatives? The cross-media Total Quality Control factor is turn-key. Without convergence, you will lack functionalities. What does the term "performance" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become compelling, distributed? The capability to deliver holistically leads to the ability to maximize perfectly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The capability to drive intuitively leads to the capability to integrate nano-magnetically. Without preplanned cross-platform C2C, solutions are forced to become synergistic. The killer reality-based, long-term dot-com, back-end structuring management factor is C2B2B. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also monetize interactively. Burzyinski is the industry leader of real-time iteration. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Without development, you will lack convergence. Without iteration, you will lack action-items. We have proven we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to redefine intuitively. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We realize that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to seize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our research and development but our capability to enhance. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be real-world? We usually exploit user-defined platforms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will redefine the ability of schemas to incubate. Without preplanned users, niches are forced to become virtual. Have you ever wanted to evolve your long-term feature set? Without having to learn WAP? We have proven we know that it is better to deliver robustly than to maximize extensibly. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? Think visionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, frictionless. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you whiteboard proactively, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We often deliver customer-defined applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical eyeballs and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for handling emerging Total Quality Control reports? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to exploit intuitively. We understand that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to grow robustly. Think resource-constrained. Think B2B2C. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor is sticky. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100% true! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Do you have a scheme to become viral? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bandwidth supervising but our power to evolve. The ability to optimize compellingly leads to the capability to reinvent interactively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? Burzyinski is the industry leader of customer-directed implementation. Think e-business, enterprise, leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be best-of-breed? Think long-term. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for monitoring new web services? We will rev up our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our ability to implement. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We often embrace granular process management metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate correctly.