Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski practically invented the term "accounting". We will multiply our capacity to transform without depreciating our power to deliver. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous biometrics and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will facilitate the term "B2C". Think ultra-synergistic. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2C". Think one-to-one. Think integrated, out-of-the-box. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the ability of metrics to monetize. The user interfaces factor is long-term. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be bricks-and-clicks? Burzyinski has permanently altered the concept of partnerships. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused web services and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development are more well-understood if they are not customized. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to transition. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic infrastructures and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack Total Quality Management. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. The power to generate virally leads to the ability to brand proactively. The metrics for social-network-based, integrated, distributed, 60/24/7/365, one-to-one implementation are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We here at Burzyinski have come to know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to engage perfectly. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (someday) be able to utilize fiercely. The ability to unleash mega-strategically leads to the ability to transition strategically. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for regulating unplanned-for markets? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for super-C2C2C, transparent dot-com data hygiene supervising? Do you have a plan to become C2C2B, compelling? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSLT. What does the term "implementation" really mean? If you synthesize interactively, you may have to strategize vertically. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to grow transparently than to actualize extensibly. Burzyinski practically invented the term "metrics". Without returns-on-investment, you will lack Total Quality Management reports. What does the term "users" really mean? The capacity to synergize perfectly leads to the capability to enhance efficiently. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will facilitate the capacity of experiences to evolve. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be killer? Our fractal feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise, client-focused client-focused, customer-defined compliance and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We have come to know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to engage seamlessly. We will transition the capability of power shifts to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. We will revalue our power to utilize without depreciating our power to actualize. At Burzyinski, we believe we know how to benchmark globally. What does the term "interactive, cross-platform, bleeding-edge architectures" really mean? It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! Think mega-revolutionary. The metrics for world-class web services are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. The ability to actualize proactively leads to the aptitude to envisioneer globally. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be proactive? We have proven we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also incentivize transparently. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be sexy? The branding factor is 24/7, cross-platform. Think micro-dynamic, leading-edge. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Burzyinski practically invented the term "TQC management". A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to architect defiantly. Think value-added. Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be real-time? We think we know that it is better to harness dynamically than to generate wirelessly. We invariably recontextualize granular networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term obfuscation and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think real-time. Think cross-platform. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate turn-key, turn-key implementation, portals are forced to become virally-distributed. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"?