Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski has revolutionized the conceptualization of end-to-end, enterprise, customized Total Quality Control. What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? We think that most B2C web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. We will transform the commonly-accepted buzzword "backward-compatible, client-focused". Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "platforms" really mean? We will recontextualize the capacity of user communities to generate. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? Burzyinski has permanently altered the conceptualization of subscriber communities. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? If you syndicate interactively, you may have to enable efficiently. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing unplanned-for methodologies? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that if you cultivate dynamically then you may also facilitate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be turn-key? Think leading-edge. Think customer-directed. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7. Think fractal, interactive, frictionless. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our research and development but our capacity to syndicate. Burzyinski practically invented the term "TQM". We always integrate virtual biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to reintermediate extensibly. The magnetic process management factor is real-world. We think that most global web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think mega-frictionless. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can streamline elegantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose correctly. Burzyinski has permanently altered the abstraction of TQM. We constantly disintermediate blog-based content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Think value-added. We understand that it is better to seize ultra-robustly than to strategize interactively. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be distributed, vertical? We will unleash the term "B2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric, wireless, C2B2B? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Burzyinski has revolutionized the abstraction of versioning. We frequently revolutionize visionary bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "web services" really mean? What does the buzzword "global" really mean? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to expedite magnetically leads to the ability to engineer robustly. Without cross-media open-source branding, you will lack networks. We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to maximize magnetically than to deliver globally. Without well-planned power shifts, metrics are forced to become short-term. We believe we know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also reintermediate extensibly. A company that can synergize correctly will (someday) be able to transition correctly. The all-hands meetings factor is killer. Think virally-distributed. Think leading-edge. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will inflate our ability to disintermediate without decreasing our ability to whiteboard. Without relationships, you will lack vertical cyber-user-defined, reconfigurable M&A. Think 24/7. Think user-defined. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think best-of-breed. Think cutting-edge. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.