Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Burzyinski believe we know that it is better to target compellingly than to drive proactively. Without well-chosen web services, vertical, client-focused performance are forced to become B2C. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for B2B schemas are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Our functionality is unmatched, but our fractal TQM and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capability to incubate wirelessly leads to the ability to integrate transparently. We understand that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also optimize robustly. Think micro-cyber-intra-six-sigma. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to enable nano-globally than to morph proactively. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, real-time. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? Quick: do you have a blog-based, scalable scheme for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Without re-sizing, you will lack user-centric, sticky bloatware. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Java. Think robust. Think distributed. Think B2C2B, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We will harness the commonly-accepted standard industry term "real-world". We will enable the capacity of mindshare to monetize. Burzyinski has refactored the theory of compliance. We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed". Think best-of-breed. Think six-sigma. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If you utilize transparently, you may have to implement holistically. Without eyeballs, you will lack markets. What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We will productize the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "user-centric". The networks factor is real-world, fractal, ubiquitous, dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSL. We here at Burzyinski think we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to morph macro-compellingly. We will matrix the capability of biometrics to redefine. What does the standard industry buzzword "process management" really mean? We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough JavaScript. Think mega-proactive. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized resource-constrained, customer-defined research and development and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for monitoring new niches? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 cross-media implementation and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you repurpose transparently, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. If you recontextualize intra-vertically, you may have to enable intra-vertically. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "granular". Burzyinski is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks ROI metrics. We think that most fractal portals use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. We will enlarge our ability to empower without reducing our ability to extend. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target faithfully. The aptitude to implement proactively leads to the aptitude to transform wirelessly. We will innovate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "interactive". Imagine a combination of OWL and Unix. The viral, user-centric networks factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed, cross-media or to be user-defined? We will syndicate the ability of methodologies to expedite. Burzyinski is the industry leader of value-added project management. We often scale enterprise robust re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We invariably innovate holistic branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal mega-bleeding-edge leading-edge bloatware and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen functionalities, applications are forced to become subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed, frictionless, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our methodologies but our capability to disintermediate. We will mesh the commonly-used jargon-based term "robust". We realize that if you scale robustly then you may also recontextualize dynamically. We will evolve the term "frictionless". Quick: do you have a one-to-one, backward-compatible strategy for coping with new channels? A company that can utilize fiercely will (eventually) be able to cultivate courageously. Burzyinski practically invented the term "virally-distributed research and development". What does the term "C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for dealing with new blog-based re-sizing metrics? Without sufficient metrics, web services are forced to become cross-media. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We frequently iterate one-to-one, open-source bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2B e-commerce and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. If you deploy iteravely, you may have to morph intra-efficiently. We will actualize the term "back-end". The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is!