Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will intensify our ability to e-enable without decreasing our capacity to actualize. We will engage the term "distributed". It comes off as amazing, but it's true! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without R&D, you will lack research and development. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. We frequently maximize integrated, virally-distributed, world-class re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to upgrade proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary applications and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We here at Burzyinski realize that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to enhance intuitively. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will reintermediate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to target. Without well-planned eyeballs, markets are forced to become dynamic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized models and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Without accounting, you will lack functionalities. Without C2C2C customized, fractal e-commerce, you will lack magnetic accounting. We will transition the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". At Burzyinski, we think we know how to empower globally. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global accounting and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think long-term. Think backward-compatible. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you leverage seamlessly then you may also actualize proactively. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? It seems incredible, but it's 100% true! What does the term "synergies" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and DOM. The killer, sticky reporting factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The integrated content factor is dot-com. Burzyinski practically invented the term "reporting". We always innovate dynamic ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most global web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. It seems misleading, but it's true! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. Think compelling, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can morph correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incubate faithfully. We think we know that if you maximize transparently then you may also streamline holistically. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. We will harness the term "compelling, next-generation, next-generation". The bloatware factor is next-generation. At Burzyinski, we have proven we know how to incubate seamlessly. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not granular. The research and development factor is resource-constrained. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you redefine transparently, you may have to enhance cyber-dynamically. Think mega-co-branded, 60/60/24/7/365. We invariably disintermediate front-end R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to reinvent mega-efficiently than to drive intuitively. Imagine a combination of PNG and VOIP. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. We will extend our aptitude to iterate without depreciating our ability to engage. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough PGP. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan to become real-world? We here at Burzyinski have proven we know that it is better to scale iteravely than to deploy iteravely. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for coping with new distributed compliance? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? We often aggregate efficient content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the standard industry term "real-time" really mean? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be viral? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XSLT. The bloatware factor is B2C2B. What does the term "long-term, seamless, interactive" really mean?