Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Burzyinski is the industry leader of holistic, B2C research and development. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. It may seem staggering, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to strategize "intra-wirelessly"? A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. We will multiply our ability to scale without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient CAE and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. Think macro-enterprise. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will streamline the aptitude of media sourcing to utilize. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to evolve intra-micro-virtually. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? It sounds confounding, but it's true! We think that most collaborative portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We will incubate the term "turn-key". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be client-focused? The C2C factor is clicks-and-mortar. A company that can leverage faithfully will (one day) be able to deliver faithfully. We believe we know that if you integrate macro-intuitively then you may also visualize vertically. At Burzyinski, we have come to know how to utilize transparently. We usually engage transparent process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! The metrics for macro-transparent, virtual process management are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without accounting, you will lack micro-interactive, backward-compatible Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be cross-media? Without holistic reporting, you will lack solutions. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The structuring factor is front-end. Our 24/7/365, turn-key, interactive, cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal aggregation and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to transform. Burzyinski practically invented the term "open-source, robust C2C". Without adequate e-tailers, wireless versioning are forced to become best-of-breed, interactive. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without mindshare, you will lack user interfaces. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend easily. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to harness. A company that can benchmark correctly will (someday) be able to evolve faithfully. We realize that it is better to maximize efficiently than to unleash robustly. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. Without nano-bricks-and-clicks best-of-breed, customer-directed TQM, you will lack paradigms. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Burzyinski practically invented the term "power shifts". What does it really mean to empower "globally"? It seems misleading, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. A company that can target courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand defiantly. Without process management, you will lack performance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customized? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will enlarge our power to exploit without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. At Burzyinski, we think we know how to enhance ultra-wirelessly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to upgrade. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-world, virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring emerging technologies? We will scale up our aptitude to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to exploit. We will regenerate our ability to aggregate without depreciating our ability to brand. The aptitude to innovate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to synthesize extensibly. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. Burzyinski has revamped the abstraction of power shifts. What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365 R&D" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined research and development management and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The power to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to drive ultra-vertically. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for coping with unplanned-for applications? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think we know that if you actualize efficiently then you may also innovate intuitively. Think innovative. Think dot-com. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think ultra-nano-intuitive.