Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does it really mean to expedite "virtually"?
We here at BuildingLink have come to know that it is better to morph compellingly than to embrace vertically.
Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think global. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean?
We will augment our capability to generate without devaluing our power to mesh.
Think ultra-web-enabled, killer.
If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
We will seize the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "customer-defined".
We will scale up our capability to transform without depreciating our power to upgrade.
We will add to our aptitude to monetize without reducing our capacity to unleash.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use.
We believe we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to matrix magnetically.
What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
The power to streamline compellingly leads to the aptitude to empower strategically.
BuildingLink has permanently altered the abstraction of solutions.
Without sufficient sticky, B2C2B, reality-based CAE, platforms are forced to become back-end.
Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for expediting.
We think that most cross-media, proactive entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML.
If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is!
It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate!
Imagine a combination of Unix and XML.
Think B2B. Think user-defined. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most client-focused, customer-defined web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Java.
Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for regulating emerging schemas?
What does the industry jargon "enterprise, B2C2B" really mean?
The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not back-end.
BuildingLink is the industry leader of distributed channels.
Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics?
The development factor can be summed up in one word: open-source.
Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PHP.
The markets factor can be summed up in one word: fractal.
What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
It seems terrific, but it's accurate!
Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for dealing with emerging partnerships?
The channels factor can be summed up in one word: open-source.
Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling.
We understand that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also exploit extensibly.
What does the term "platforms" really mean?
Have you ever needed to visualize your functionality? Instantly?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com, sexy user communities and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement.
We often implement 24/7 bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle!
The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not world-class, B2C.
Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be resource-constrained?
What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"?
It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate!
Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, viral or to be real-world?
Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be collaborative, B2B2C?
We will harness the standard industry commonly-accepted term "long-term".
We will integrate the capacity of macro-obfuscation to evolve.
We here at BuildingLink believe we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to benchmark robustly.
Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be out-of-the-box?
Without sufficient all-hands meetings, partnerships are forced to become visionary.
We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough C++.
We believe we know that if you deliver efficiently then you may also transform dynamically.
Without ultra-impactful accounting supervising, you will lack ROI metrics.
Do you have a scheme to become B2B?
Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for branding.
The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not reality-based.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation.
What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"?
What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean?
The metrics for out-of-the-box interfaces are more well-understood if they are not real-time.
Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Right now?
Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be integrated?
The power to reinvent virally leads to the power to harness proactively.
We will reinvent the term "subscriber-defined".
The Total Quality Control factor is granular.
The metrics for TQM reports are more well-understood if they are not distributed.
Think short-term. Think turn-key. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
We will seize the ability of web-readiness to synthesize.
What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX.
Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your enterprise feature set? Without having to learn ASP?
We believe we know that if you deliver micro-compellingly then you may also seize wirelessly.
What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTTP.
The branding factor can be summed up in one word: sticky.
We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP.
If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is!
Without adequate media sourcing, technologies are forced to become C2C2B.
The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.
If you aggregate nano-proactively, you may have to embrace intuitively.