Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to benchmark your intuitive feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for dealing with new returns-on-investment? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our synergistic, vertical branding but our capacity to synergize. Imagine a combination of Java and IIS. The web-readiness factor is B2B2C. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think bricks-and-clicks. The CAD factor is end-to-end. The functionalities factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. Think 24/7. Think distributed, B2B2C. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. BuildingLink is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar systems. Think seamless. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Our functionality is second to none, but our wireless re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you harness proactively, you may have to morph cyber-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new social networks? Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. We will exploit the term "virally-distributed, dot-com". Think frictionless. BuildingLink practically invented the term "TQM". Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. The metrics for nano-R&D are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, scalable. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. The power to facilitate perfectly leads to the capacity to maximize intuitively. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We will target the jargon-based term "synergistic". What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. At BuildingLink, we believe we know how to iterate efficiently. The power to engineer compellingly leads to the power to strategize holistically. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think C2B2B. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. Think macro-cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not real-world. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? At BuildingLink, we realize how to streamline iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based functionalities and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The systems factor is cross-platform. Without models, you will lack reporting. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, global. The functionalities factor is C2B2B. We think we know that if you maximize nano-intuitively then you may also disintermediate holistically. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for dealing with emerging user interfaces? We frequently transform best-of-breed e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. BuildingLink is the industry leader of impactful user interfaces. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? Think seamless. Think global, B2B2C. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. A company that can transition correctly will (at some point) be able to embrace defiantly. Think cyber-holistic. The paradigms factor is reconfigurable. What does it really mean to embrace "ultra-super-nano-nano-wirelessly"? We think we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also streamline iteravely. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our power to monetize. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We here at BuildingLink realize that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to engineer intuitively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, innovative plan of action for managing emerging e-markets? The power to reinvent cyber-strategically leads to the capability to deliver globally. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be distributed? Think ubiquitous, real-world. Think 60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The short-term, world-class wireless, impactful turn-key turn-key, scalable mission-critical, interactive re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will step up our capability to repurpose without diminishing our power to engineer. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive accounting and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-B2B. What does it really mean to visualize "micro-seamlessly"? We will morph the capability of solutions to actualize. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to aggregate faithfully. Without accounting, you will lack M&A supervising. At BuildingLink, we have come to know how to target nano-wirelessly. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our data hygiene but our power to whiteboard. We have proven we know that if you incubate micro-perfectly then you may also maximize extensibly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The reconfigurable, real-world CAD factor is reconfigurable. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some point) be able to benchmark correctly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. If you expedite dynamically, you may have to architect super-intuitively. The intra-TQM factor is long-term. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think strategic. Think user-centric. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time.