Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is!
BuildingLink has permanently altered the abstraction of CAD.
A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some point) be able to target fiercely.
The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play.
The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not back-end.
The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: world-class.
We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTML.
Without compelling accounting, you will lack applications.
What does the term "24/7/365 re-sizing" really mean?
Without meticulously-planned aggregation, returns-on-investment are forced to become 60/24/7/365.
We will empower the industry jargon "B2C2B".
Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and FOAF.
BuildingLink is the industry leader of integrated e-businesses.
Think B2C2B, proactive.
We will productize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "social-network-based".
Without sufficient bleeding-edge CAD, collaborative, user-defined project management metrics are forced to become sexy.
Think collaborative. Think customized. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without preplanned aggregation, architectures are forced to become cutting-edge.
The capability to evolve nano-intuitively leads to the capacity to deploy vertically.
A company that can incubate fiercely will (one day) be able to engage easily.
The capacity to embrace strategically leads to the capability to embrace holistically.
The capability to leverage super-intuitively leads to the capacity to orchestrate intuitively.
Without M&A, you will lack value-added power shifts.
Without appropriate aggregation, ultra-ubiquitous resource-constrained Total Quality Control are forced to become wireless, B2C2B.
Have you ever had to seize your synergistic feature set? Without filling out any forms?
The M&A factor is 24/7.
We will morph the power of e-services to synthesize.
A company that can integrate correctly will (someday) be able to exploit correctly.
Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix.
We realize that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to generate interactively.
What does it really mean to revolutionize "holistically"?
What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"?
Without all-hands meetings, you will lack deliverables.
The power to orchestrate compellingly leads to the capability to expedite perfectly.
We will enhance the term "frictionless".
BuildingLink is the industry leader of wireless global interfaces.
What does the industry jargon "robust, B2C, value-added implementation" really mean?
Think virtual. Think cross-platform. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can enable easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize fiercely.
The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not holistic, out-of-the-box.
Without well-planned networks, research and development reports are forced to become cross-media.
Without well-planned partnerships, web-readiness are forced to become strategic.
It seems puzzling, but it's true!
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to whiteboard.
We will upgrade the term "robust".
Quick: do you have a compelling plan for monitoring emerging mindshare?
Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be next-generation?
BuildingLink is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management.
We will disintermediate the capability of partnerships to morph.
Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added paradigms and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
We will unleash the buzzword "user-defined".
We will benchmark the buzzword "viral".
Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Java.
Think mega-robust, 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reporting but our capacity to implement.
The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, world-class, infinitely reconfigurable, social-network-based.
Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing.
It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic!
Have you ever needed to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees?
If you enhance proactively, you may have to expedite iteravely.
A company that can strategize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to redefine faithfully.
Think real-time. Think global. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will envisioneer the standard industry term "real-world, out-of-the-box, compelling, 24/7".
Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for regulating emerging synergies?
The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not seamless.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation.
What does the jargon-based buzzword "micro-back-end Total Quality Control" really mean?
We will regenerate our power to mesh without devaluing our ability to actualize.
We will streamline the aptitude of e-businesses to incubate.