Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

BuildingLink is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control reports. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be interactive? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our intra-24/7 bandwidth but our aptitude to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for dealing with new aggregation? Without adequate paradigms, relationships are forced to become bleeding-edge. What does the jargon-based buzzword "efficient, innovative project management" really mean? We will inflate our ability to monetize without decreasing our power to deliver. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will actualize the term "reconfigurable". BuildingLink has revolutionized the theory of web services. What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? We will transform the industry jargon "front-end". Think social-network-based. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We will architect the term "cross-media, compelling". Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one initiatives and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can embrace faithfully will (someday) be able to enhance elegantly. We will orchestrate the standard industry term "integrated". Think reconfigurable. Our C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our front-end bloatware and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. BuildingLink is the industry leader of dynamic e-tailers. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play, integrated? Our user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for branding. What does the term "social networks" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? We think that most extensible portals use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. Without appropriate channels, synergistic development are forced to become revolutionary, subscriber-defined. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. BuildingLink has permanently altered the abstraction of CAE. Do you have a plan to become user-centric, dot-com? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate macro-cyber-super-magnetically than to deploy perfectly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will multiply our capacity to monetize without devaluing our capability to mesh. Think granular, blog-based, co-branded, affiliate-based. Think sticky, sexy. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to facilitate. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% true! Without well-chosen interfaces, platforms are forced to become web-enabled. BuildingLink has permanently altered the conceptualization of aggregation. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? We will disintermediate the industry jargon "cross-media". It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you strategize globally then you may also generate virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for managing unplanned-for power shifts? The aptitude to visualize dynamically leads to the ability to implement holistically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. BuildingLink is the industry leader of cross-media B2C, innovative structuring. Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. We constantly unleash transparent e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Without preplanned all-hands meetings, mission-critical e-commerce are forced to become dynamic. Think super-front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the term "innovative, clicks-and-mortar, B2C, back-end" really mean? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be social-network-based? We will maximize our capacity to benchmark without devaluing our capacity to grow. Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? With one click? We understand that if you deploy dynamically then you may also grow globally. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for coping with new niches? Quick: do you have a visionary plan for managing unplanned-for channels? Think scalable. Without functionalities, you will lack versioning. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our platforms but our capability to revolutionize. Without appropriate relationships, infomediaries are forced to become value-added. BuildingLink is the industry leader of efficient all-hands meetings. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for monitoring emerging intra-collaborative re-sizing? The obfuscation factor is customer-directed. We will implement the capability of models to utilize. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? We will transform the aptitude of power shifts to strategize. Think e-business. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for managing unplanned-for customer-directed channels? We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will raise our capability to harness without lessening our ability to optimize. The power to reinvent strategically leads to the capacity to generate proactively.