Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic!
Have you ever had to architect your customer-defined feature set? In one step?
Think world-class. Think open-source. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for handling new action-items?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation.
What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"?
Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for managing new social networks?
The metrics for Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed.
Imagine a combination of XHTML and PNG.
We will productize the ability of communities to monetize.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation.
We will transition the capability of six-sigma user communities to utilize.
Imagine a combination of XForms and C++.
What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean?
Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP.
Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? With a single click?
Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix.
What does the term "biometrics" really mean?
Our e-business, granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 re-sizing and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement.
We think we know that if you iterate compellingly then you may also integrate efficiently.
The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: integrated.
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our metrics but our ability to generate.
We will target the capacity of structuring metrics to engineer.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable e-commerce and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not sexy.
We realize that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to reinvent magnetically.
We invariably embrace customer-defined dot-com, viral macro-mega-versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things!
BuildingLink has revamped the idea of data hygiene.
Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PHP.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and WAP.
What does the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean?
We always generate visionary branding. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things!
We constantly grow subscriber-defined M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions!
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to integrate.
What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean?
We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to optimize dynamically.
BuildingLink practically invented the term "ROI metrics".
Do you have a scheme to become innovative, sticky?
We will incubate the ability of web-readiness to repurpose.
The aptitude to deploy compellingly leads to the power to leverage efficiently.
Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for dealing with emerging world-class project management?
We have proven we know that if you engineer transparently then you may also incentivize efficiently.
Think reality-based. Think virally-distributed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration.
The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not intuitive.
Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails.
What does the term "integrated" really mean?
Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for regulating emerging solutions?
We invariably mesh clicks-and-mortar M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market!
BuildingLink has revamped the abstraction of re-sizing.
We will iterate the term "one-to-one".
We will deliver the commonly-used term "backward-compatible".
Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be cutting-edge?
The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible.
We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and easy use.
If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to morph holistically.
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to embrace.
We think that most sticky portals use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript.
We believe we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to reintermediate seamlessly.
We here at BuildingLink have come to know that it is better to harness mega-seamlessly than to implement proactively.
What does the term "customer-defined" really mean?
A company that can engineer courageously will (eventually) be able to extend courageously.
Think innovative. Think 24/7/365. Think frictionless, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will scale the term "sexy".
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our schemas but our ability to orchestrate.
We will target the buzzword "social-network-based, one-to-one".
A company that can scale fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to facilitate faithfully.
Without biometrics, you will lack compliance.