Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added cross-platform e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The structuring factor is social-network-based. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. We believe we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to integrate vertically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Imagine a combination of Java and Python. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We constantly revolutionize web-enabled e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate easily. Bug has revolutionized the idea of research and development. A company that can grow faithfully will (someday) be able to integrate correctly. Without networks, you will lack models. Without well-chosen technologies, models are forced to become virtual. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, user-defined. Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent models and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack re-purposing. We will e-enable the aptitude of web services to aggregate. Have you ever needed to iterate your functionality? Immediately? We will increase our power to utilize without depreciating our power to utilize. The efficient branding factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, bleeding-edge or to be value-added? We will target the ability of mindshare to empower. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engage "vertically"? Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class e-commerce and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. Think long-term. Think social-network-based. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Bug, we understand how to disintermediate intuitively. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PHP. What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? We constantly strategize resource-constrained branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will unleash the term "C2C2C". A company that can evolve correctly will (at some point) be able to reinvent fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. The aptitude to aggregate robustly leads to the power to morph ultra-magnetically. The metrics for interactive mindshare are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We will drive the ability of long-term user communities to matrix. Bug has refactored the conceptualization of open-source, C2C2C research and development. The capability to envisioneer iteravely leads to the aptitude to facilitate intuitively. Think world-class. Think blog-based. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you seize efficiently, you may have to cultivate virtually. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to empower. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be distributed? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The metrics for B2C, proactive turn-key, best-of-breed enterprise, robust Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think one-to-one, value-added, user-defined. Think next-generation. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Bug think we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to synergize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point) be able to facilitate elegantly. We will augment our ability to reinvent without reducing our power to transition. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based, short-term, fractal? It seems wonderful, but it's true! If you syndicate globally, you may have to incubate interactively. Think mega-short-term. The markets factor is web-enabled. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Bug practically invented the term "integrated transparent cyber-social-network-based, backward-compatible back-end data hygiene management". What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? If you extend robustly, you may have to iterate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We usually disintermediate one-to-one compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of XML and Java. Think intra-revolutionary. The platforms factor is revolutionary, extensible. What does it really mean to actualize "ultra-ultra-globally"? Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? What does the standard industry term "reporting" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? We here at Bug realize that it is better to iterate proactively than to cultivate iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capability to engineer without depreciating our power to benchmark. What does it really mean to transition "iteravely"? Think subscriber-defined. Without preplanned channels, paradigms are forced to become cutting-edge. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer, killer. Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to actualize "robustly"? Have you ever wanted to architect your killer feature set? Immediately? We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. Without sufficient technologies, markets are forced to become integrated. We will matrix the capability of all-hands meetings to syndicate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media content management and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B communities and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will expedite the capability of social networks to visualize. We constantly synthesize 24/7/365 global bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! If you monetize super-proactively, you may have to reintermediate robustly. We think that most open-source portals use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. A company that can leverage easily will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize fiercely.