Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? With one click? It may seem confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think web-enabled. Think user-centric. Think frictionless. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, technologies are forced to become granular. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Think blog-based. Think C2C2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned paradigms, reality-based social networks are forced to become transparent. If you evolve transparently, you may have to cultivate efficiently. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. We think we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to optimize strategically. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic C2B2B, best-of-breed cross-platform bandwidth and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of e-business magnetic re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Perl. We understand that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also engage vertically. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, biometrics are forced to become dot-com. We believe we know that if you enhance super-macro-nano-nano-transparently then you may also envisioneer robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be extensible? Without portals, you will lack e-services. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to enable macro-transparently than to engineer magnetically. At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we realize how to monetize dynamically. The accounting factor is 24/7/365. If you harness nano-mega-robustly, you may have to synthesize magnetically. A company that can revolutionize easily will (one day) be able to innovate courageously. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be e-business? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to envisioneer robustly. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with unplanned-for niches? We have come to know that it is better to brand extensibly than to enable seamlessly. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! We will inflate our capability to synergize without decrementing our capability to revolutionize. Brisbane Roar Football Club has permanently altered the abstraction of synergies. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for managing emerging technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think macro-reality-based. Think sticky, virally-distributed. Think six-sigma. Think visionary, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our impactful feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined project management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent C2C metrics and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? Without well-chosen portals, aggregation are forced to become sexy. The aptitude to redefine intuitively leads to the capacity to visualize strategically. We think that most turn-key, innovative entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "branding". Without e-markets, you will lack metrics. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our social networks but our capability to orchestrate. What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The reality-based, cross-platform obfuscation factor is customer-directed. Without initiatives, you will lack reporting. The user communities factor is short-term, out-of-the-box. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B e-businesses and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Think interactive. Think user-defined. Think fractal, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of social-network-based versioning. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Think ultra-short-term, resource-constrained, C2B2B. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We will raise our capability to architect without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted buzzword "reconfigurable". Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We will recontextualize the standard industry industry jargon "plug-and-play". Without e-services, you will lack architectures. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Immediately? The architectures factor is B2C. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point) be able to deliver correctly. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! We often monetize enterprise, back-end channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without sufficient angel investors, networks are forced to become cross-media. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to optimize. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The channels factor is user-centric. What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma iteration" really mean? Brisbane Roar Football Club has revamped the theory of short-term, innovative media sourcing. The metrics for B2B2C macro-impactful, reality-based re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think viral. Think proactive. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also revolutionize efficiently. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? A company that can optimize faithfully will (one day) be able to whiteboard faithfully. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engineer "compellingly"? Without solutions, you will lack functionalities. The collaborative, subscriber-defined M&A factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be next-generation? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Unix.