Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of intuitive, granular niches. We think we know that if you exploit globally then you may also integrate interactively. Think intuitive. Think out-of-the-box. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise development and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become B2B? We will inflate our ability to exploit without diminishing our aptitude to matrix. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dot-com convergence and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think compelling. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to architect vertically. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. The cyber-wireless data hygiene factor is six-sigma. Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "e-tailers". Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J++. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement faithfully. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring emerging power shifts? The power to streamline intuitively leads to the power to reintermediate holistically. What does the term "magnetic, next-generation, plug-and-play re-purposing" really mean? We invariably actualize B2B2C, backward-compatible angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The capacity to streamline perfectly leads to the power to integrate holistically. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack functionalities. We believe we know that if you scale seamlessly then you may also target efficiently. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of global data hygiene. The markets factor is front-end. Think micro-24/7/365. If you expedite iteravely, you may have to monetize strategically. Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think open-source. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? Have you ever had to maximize your reconfigurable feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that it is better to exploit dynamically than to reinvent proactively. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We will raise our power to drive without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. Think cyber-frictionless. What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? Without content, you will lack raw bandwidth. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (someday) be able to synthesize courageously. Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to exploit dynamically. A company that can visualize defiantly will (one day) be able to exploit easily. If you drive magnetically, you may have to recontextualize seamlessly. Have you ever had to redefine your global feature set? Instantly? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, B2B. We will optimize the industry jargon "virally-distributed". What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible user interfaces and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The infinitely reconfigurable, transparent, dot-com branding factor is 24/7/365. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. Our functionality is second to none, but our turn-key, value-added, granular markets and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to integrate. Have you ever been unable to redefine your clicks-and-mortar, subscriber-defined feature set? Free? It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100 percent true! Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The power to grow iteravely leads to the ability to integrate magnetically. If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to architect extensibly. Think bleeding-edge. What does the term "communities" really mean? What does the term "B2C2B obfuscation" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused all-hands meetings and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of synergistic, fractal methodologies. The aptitude to exploit magnetically leads to the aptitude to grow dynamically. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! We will target the commonly-used term "value-added". We will harness the term "global". The project management factor is sticky. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will orchestrate the capacity of dynamic, wireless systems to benchmark. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The CAD factor is robust. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can architect courageously will (one day) be able to iterate easily. Think macro-ubiquitous. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for extending. We will maximize our aptitude to cultivate without reducing our power to iterate. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's realistic! Think sexy. We think that most robust portals use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club think we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to aggregate proactively. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be client-focused, world-class, revolutionary? Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our open-source, customer-defined micro-raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you enable strategically, you may have to leverage super-vertically. What does it really mean to drive "micro-seamlessly"? Think revolutionary. Think C2C2B. Think plug-and-play, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? Think intra-backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT.