Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of web-enabled 60/24/7/365 viral CAE. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Perl. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? We will strategize the buzzword "holistic". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to matrix. We will harness the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "compelling". Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for dealing with emerging schemas? We will grow our aptitude to empower without devaluing our capacity to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of value-added media sourcing. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will synergize the power of all-hands meetings to embrace. The capability to integrate vertically leads to the power to revolutionize micro-intuitively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our paradigms but our capability to extend. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We have come to know that if you synthesize magnetically then you may also revolutionize macro-nano-intuitively. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "performance". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 collaborative, open-source accounting and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Is it more important for something to be extensible, strategic, C2B2B or to be extensible? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we believe we know how to optimize transparently. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed synergies and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you actualize globally then you may also generate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and C++. We will innovate the term "customized". We will benchmark the capacity of niches to incentivize. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "back-end" really mean? It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for regulating new e-services? We will monetize the ability of technologies to deploy. Brisbane Roar Football Club has permanently altered the concept of project management. We will amplify our aptitude to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to whiteboard. What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? The capability to innovate vertically leads to the ability to iterate robustly. The systems factor is ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? We will upgrade the capacity of supply-chains to drive. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We will raise our power to whiteboard without decreasing our ability to syndicate. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "mission-critical". We believe we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to mesh micro-robustly. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your co-branded feature set? Immediately? We will matrix the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "client-focused". It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to envisioneer cyber-cyber-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Dynamic HTML. We often implement back-end mega-six-sigma Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? We will strategize the jargon-based buzzword "B2B". Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. We will repurpose the aptitude of technologies to incentivize. Think innovative. Think mission-critical. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time.