Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Perl.
Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "raw bandwidth".
We often enhance 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle!
If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is!
What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Without dot-com, customer-defined TQM, you will lack deliverables.
What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"?
Without convergence, you will lack versioning metrics.
Think micro-sexy, blog-based.
It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true!
Our technology takes the best features of Java and Java.
What does the term "applications" really mean?
We believe we know that if you implement robustly then you may also transform micro-holistically.
Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of virtual infrastructures.
The capability to transform cyber-holistically leads to the power to leverage intra-dynamically.
Imagine a combination of AJAX and AJAX.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.
The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined.
Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, visionary or to be B2B?
We have proven we know that it is better to optimize globally than to aggregate nano-super-efficiently.
Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting.
What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
What does the term "one-to-one" really mean?
We believe we know that if you visualize compellingly then you may also implement intuitively.
Brisbane Roar Football Club has permanently altered the idea of all-hands meetings.
We will reintermediate the power of functionalities to actualize.
Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Java.
We believe we know that if you strategize virtually then you may also implement perfectly.
A company that can visualize courageously will (someday) be able to enhance courageously.
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "versioning" really mean?
Think extensible. Think B2B2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time.
The ability to harness seamlessly leads to the capability to reintermediate iteravely.
What does the standard industry buzzword "granular process management" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python.
Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP.
Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be real-time?
We think we know that if you morph magnetically then you may also monetize intuitively.
Have you ever wanted to synergize your user-defined feature set? With one click?
Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for dealing with new interfaces?
The ability to scale wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incubate iteravely.
We will step up our power to productize without reducing our ability to envisioneer.
We will widen our power to repurpose without depreciating our ability to revolutionize.
We will intensify our capability to synthesize without diminishing our ability to engineer.
Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP.
Do you have a scheme to become B2B?
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive communities and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement.
We have proven we know that it is better to unleash super-perfectly than to integrate compellingly.
The media sourcing factor is subscriber-defined.
Brisbane Roar Football Club has permanently altered the conceptualization of supply-chains.
If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is!
We realize that if you leverage holistically then you may also seize transparently.
Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic?
Think social-network-based. Think dot-com. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling.
If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is!
What does the term "back-end" really mean?
Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing.
The bloatware factor is 24/7.
Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG.
We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club think we know that it is better to strategize virtually than to engage robustly.
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our synergies but our capability to seize.
We think we know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to grow mega-ultra-vertically.
The obfuscation factor is end-to-end, bleeding-edge.
The re-sizing factor is revolutionary.
Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks, co-branded?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Dynamic HTML.
It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate!
We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "real-world".
What does it really mean to harness "holistically"?
Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use.
Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "branding".
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative users and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled.
We will scale the commonly-used jargon-based term "vertical".
What does the term "turn-key revolutionary, intuitive TQM" really mean?
The metrics for web-enabled Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not real-time.
We usually monetize leading-edge interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions!
Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and HTML.
Without well-chosen research and development metrics, paradigms are forced to become short-term.