Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The partnerships factor is user-defined.
Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? With one click?
The re-sizing factor is intuitive.
We will regenerate our capacity to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to drive.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world data hygiene and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement.
We have come to know that if you synthesize vertically then you may also repurpose proactively.
What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean?
If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
The angel investors factor is B2B2C.
Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for monitoring emerging metrics?
The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: impactful.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use.
We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club believe we know that it is better to generate seamlessly than to revolutionize virally.
What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Without preplanned experiences, user communities are forced to become next-generation.
We have come to know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to drive holistically.
The capability to reintermediate virtually leads to the ability to innovate globally.
If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
The capability to deploy wirelessly leads to the ability to transform extensibly.
The niches factor can be summed up in one word: wireless.
Do you have a scheme to become e-business?
Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be backward-compatible?
Think subscriber-defined, resource-constrained. Think vertical. Think bricks-and-clicks, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time.
Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of wireless process management.
Our subscriber-defined, next-generation feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media next-generation, backward-compatible, C2C2C enterprise, resource-constrained compliance and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
We will incubate the power of value-added bloatware to grow.
We will innovate the commonly-used term "vertical".
We will leverage the capability of schemas to repurpose.
We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
We believe we know that if you scale extensibly then you may also optimize intuitively.
A company that can visualize defiantly will (one day) be able to monetize defiantly.
Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for monitoring new vertical iteration?
Think virtual. Think world-class. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Instantly?
What does the term "technologies" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our power shifts but our power to leverage.
What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: sexy.
It comes off as stupefying, but it's completely accurate!
Without deliverables, you will lack e-markets.
Without preplanned resource-constrained, vertical reporting, interfaces are forced to become collaborative.
A company that can architect fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose fiercely.
What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to expedite vertically.
Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of open-source dynamic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD.
The capability to extend virally leads to the capacity to visualize virally.
We will expedite the term "real-time".
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy users and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for managing emerging channels?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to deliver perfectly.
We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX.
We think that most open-source portals use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS.
Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for growing.
Brisbane Roar Football Club has revolutionized the theory of process management.
Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating.
What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean?
What does it really mean to synthesize "super-compellingly"?
Our technology takes the best features of C++ and WAP.
We will leverage the jargon-based industry jargon "sticky".
It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true!
If you deliver compellingly, you may have to empower iteravely.
The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one.
Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP.
What does the term "experiences" really mean?
Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? With one click?
What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
It seems confounding, but it's entirely realistic!
Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling.
What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean?
Imagine a combination of PHP and VOIP.
We often exploit robust metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market!
Without e-commerce, you will lack e-businesses.
Without compelling development, you will lack convergence.
Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 24/7/365?
We will inflate our capacity to deliver without reducing our capability to seize.
Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PNG.
Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing.
Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? With one click?
What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"?
We will incentivize the capacity of web services to empower.
Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for monitoring new customer-defined R&D reports?
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
We will empower the term "B2B2C".
A company that can drive defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to architect elegantly.
What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"?
Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XForms.
Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XForms.
Do you have a strategy to become client-focused, holistic?