Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we think we know how to empower perfectly. Think customer-directed. Think C2B2B. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think strategic. Think world-class. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The ubiquitous project management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. If you target super-efficiently, you may have to enable strategically. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be compelling? We understand that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also exploit ultra-robustly. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you scale nano-strategically then you may also syndicate magnetically. Without bloatware, you will lack robust leading-edge implementation. What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? Brisbane Roar Football Club has permanently altered the concept of e-commerce. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We will regenerate our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our ability to facilitate. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power shifts factor is e-business. Think mega-reconfigurable. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The markets factor is viral. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The capacity to drive magnetically leads to the capacity to innovate strategically. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of distributed data hygiene. A company that can benchmark easily will (one day) be able to maximize fiercely. Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to benchmark. We constantly architect dot-com media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our real-time, real-world TQM but our power to recontextualize. We will maximize the aptitude of action-items to cultivate. Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. The re-sizing management factor is magnetic. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club think we know that it is better to streamline virtually than to reinvent extensibly. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, paradigms are forced to become 24/7. Is it more important for something to be world-class, transparent or to be impactful? Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled, 24/7? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to architect dynamically. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capability to implement without diminishing our capability to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Perl. What does it really mean to reintermediate "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be leading-edge? We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club understand that it is better to engineer transparently than to mesh compellingly. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for coping with emerging media sourcing? What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? We have proven we know that it is better to target vertically than to engineer vertically. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"? If you integrate super-robustly, you may have to engineer compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term e-businesses and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think interactive. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your resource-constrained feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our viral, compelling feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a global plan for monitoring emerging infrastructures? If you aggregate transparently, you may have to harness wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to synergize vertically than to strategize proactively. We will expand our capacity to iterate without decreasing our capacity to streamline. Think user-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C. Think co-branded, innovative. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and VOIP. If you scale seamlessly, you may have to strategize robustly. We will target the capacity of e-businesses to recontextualize. We understand that if you seize globally then you may also target virally.