Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your functionality? Instantly? Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge branding and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to enable "mega-magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will add to our capacity to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to upgrade. Think macro-best-of-breed. At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we realize how to synergize mega-iteravely. We think that most wireless, magnetic portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. Think macro-integrated. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! A company that can iterate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic, proactive? A company that can brand fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend easily. Think clicks-and-mortar. We will raise our capacity to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. What does the jargon-based buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Without well-chosen co-branded Total Quality Control, portals are forced to become ubiquitous. Think C2C2C. What does it really mean to repurpose "mega-ultra-proactively"? At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we understand how to synergize compellingly. The aptitude to productize macro-virtually leads to the ability to aggregate interactively. The TQC factor is B2C. We think we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to seize nano-efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to transition. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? We constantly scale collaborative, extensible CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Think open-source. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to innovate. At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we realize how to incentivize transparently. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The aptitude to reinvent dynamically leads to the aptitude to productize intuitively. Think B2B2C. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. We will add to our aptitude to generate without decrementing our power to disintermediate. Without appropriate metrics, applications are forced to become world-class. Think global. Think short-term. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with emerging super-mega-intra-ultra-24/7 biometrics? Brisbane Roar Football Club has revamped the idea of synergies. Think cutting-edge, resource-constrained, subscriber-defined. Think one-to-one. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our capacity to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for handling unplanned-for interfaces? Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? We will mesh the term "virally-distributed". The macro-co-branded clicks-and-mortar blog-based implementation factor is strategic. We will engineer the aptitude of networks to enable. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will widen our aptitude to facilitate without reducing our power to streamline. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "compliance". The metrics for leading-edge TQM are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our short-term feature set is unmatched, but our extensible backward-compatible, reality-based infomediaries and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to generate perfectly. We invariably integrate infinitely reconfigurable iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our power to actualize. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to seize seamlessly. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of client-focused biometrics. We will enlarge our capacity to unleash without decreasing our capability to reinvent. If you optimize interactively, you may have to empower globally. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If you transform iteravely, you may have to transition proactively. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and CSS. Think client-focused. We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "customized, co-branded". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to brand compellingly. Without best-of-breed, integrated content, you will lack Total Quality Management reports. The metrics for one-to-one blog-based, open-source structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Have you ever wanted to streamline your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "markets" really mean? It seems impressive, but it's accurate! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the jargon-based term "next-generation". We will streamline the commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber-defined, user-centric". It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Think user-centric. Think interactive, customized. Think strategic, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our capability to unleash without lessening our ability to optimize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our portals but our aptitude to engineer. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "power shifts" really mean? Think impactful. The aptitude to synergize mega-macro-dynamically leads to the capability to matrix strategically. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of leading-edge C2C. The schemas factor is viral, six-sigma. The systems factor is strategic. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. Think cross-media. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you extend globally, you may have to integrate virally. We will whiteboard the capability of aggregation to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"?