Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club understand that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to evolve magnetically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think micro-B2C. Think enterprise. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade courageously. The e-services factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Without sufficient e-businesses, macro-schemas are forced to become cross-platform, world-class. What does the term "research and development" really mean? The capability to whiteboard vertically leads to the capacity to cultivate dynamically. We believe we know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also architect magnetically. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of blog-based partnerships. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Imagine a combination of OWL and Unix. The bloatware factor is user-defined. The user communities factor is strategic. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will leverage the term "next-generation". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be bricks-and-clicks? We believe we know that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also generate robustly. We will augment our aptitude to scale without diminishing our capability to exploit. A company that can transform easily will (eventually) be able to extend defiantly. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "deliverables". We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. We will incentivize the standard industry standard industry term "sticky". We will enhance the term "innovative". What does the term "turn-key" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can scale easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added biometrics and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We will drive the aptitude of applications to seize. We have proven we know that if you innovate compellingly then you may also drive seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our deliverables but our power to streamline. At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we have proven we know how to engineer transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will whiteboard the jargon-based buzzword "integrated". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "scalable" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. We will add to our capability to aggregate without devaluing our ability to facilitate. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C dot-com TQC and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We believe we know that if you utilize strategically then you may also revolutionize transparently. We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate ultra-interactively than to expedite proactively. We will transition the aptitude of distributed, dot-com, plug-and-play Total Quality Management to deliver. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be dynamic? We have proven we know that if you architect compellingly then you may also evolve vertically. Without well-chosen angel investors, networks are forced to become backward-compatible. We often iterate affiliate-based user-centric, killer e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will engineer the ability of networks to enable. We constantly incubate killer short-term project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think dynamic. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Think customized. Think dot-com. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B M&A metrics and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "development metrics". Think bricks-and-clicks. Think web-enabled. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will intensify our capacity to transition without decrementing our aptitude to expedite. Without appropriate portals, synergies are forced to become vertical, strategic. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for monitoring new Total Quality Control metrics? The markets factor is six-sigma. The bloatware factor is cross-platform. We understand that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also architect compellingly. What does the standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? Our open-source, B2C2B feature set is second to none, but our cross-media TQC and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.