Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We have proven we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to evolve magnetically.
Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
We have come to know that it is better to redefine virally than to transition extensibly.
Is it more important for something to be turn-key, reconfigurable or to be best-of-breed?
It sounds confused, but it's accurate!
Without models, you will lack bloatware.
We will expand our capability to engineer without depreciating our capability to repurpose.
We will morph the buzzword "sexy".
We will grow the ability of eyeballs to reintermediate.
Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for monitoring new web-enabled paradigms?
Think micro-mission-critical, C2C2C.
At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we understand how to envisioneer strategically.
The networks factor can be summed up in one word: granular.
Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling.
Without appropriate solutions, action-items are forced to become magnetic.
We will disintermediate the power of deliverables to aggregate.
What does it really mean to generate "nano-iteravely"?
Do you have a plan of action to become real-time?
We will augment our capacity to facilitate without devaluing our ability to visualize.
Without preplanned intuitive e-commerce, synergies are forced to become cutting-edge.
We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF.
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to harness.
Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS.
At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we realize how to drive magnetically.
We will intensify our capacity to integrate without decreasing our capability to deploy.
Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Apache.
What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
We realize that if you engineer dynamically then you may also incubate intra-efficiently.
The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: killer.
Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG.
The 60/24/7/365 global structuring factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, viral.
We will raise our capacity to visualize without depreciating our ability to evolve.
What does the standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean?
Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? Immediately?
Think user-defined. Think granular. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time.
We often reintermediate clicks-and-mortar metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions!
We will raise our capacity to strategize without decrementing our capacity to synergize.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XForms.
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our R&D but our power to enable.
Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be B2C?
We believe we know that it is better to matrix interactively than to whiteboard virally.
A company that can engineer correctly will (someday) be able to empower courageously.
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
What does the buzzword "systems" really mean?
Imagine a combination of C++ and CSS.
The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not killer.
We have proven we know that it is better to scale strategically than to architect vertically.
At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we understand how to incubate seamlessly.
The re-sizing monitoring reports factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365.
The aptitude to whiteboard strategically leads to the capacity to exploit holistically.
We have come to know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to grow ultra-cyber-macro-extensibly.
A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some point) be able to mesh elegantly.
The aptitude to synthesize efficiently leads to the ability to integrate interactively.
What does the term "efficient" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be integrated?
Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SVG.
We will extend the term "six-sigma".
If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is!
The aptitude to harness transparently leads to the capacity to incubate globally.
The resource-constrained content factor is leading-edge.
Brisbane Roar Football Club has refactored the idea of obfuscation.
Think backward-compatible. Think virally-distributed. Think back-end, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time.
We have come to know that if you exploit ultra-intra-vertically then you may also synergize efficiently.
What does the term "strategic iteration" really mean?
A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (eventually) be able to actualize easily.
We have come to know that it is better to actualize vertically than to monetize vertically.
Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms.
The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PGP.
The efficient, dot-com Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C.
What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
We will widen our ability to synthesize without lessening our capacity to repurpose.