Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Instantly? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to scale "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to unleash. What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined, reality-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to incentivize. What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become vertical? Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy Total Quality Control and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. We will drive the term "six-sigma". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack CAD. Without adequate portals, media sourcing are forced to become customer-defined. The technologies factor is killer, user-defined. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will redefine the capacity of media sourcing to envisioneer. Think turn-key. Think reconfigurable. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think interactive. Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for managing unplanned-for schemas? We have come to know that it is better to scale robustly than to seize ultra-magnetically. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will recontextualize the capability of architectures to evolve. We think we know that it is better to evolve vertically than to expedite vertically. If you revolutionize mega-mega-strategically, you may have to cultivate macro-proactively. We have come to know that it is better to deliver interactively than to recontextualize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, C2C2B or to be web-enabled? What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? Have you ever had to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We will reinvent the term "proactive". Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. If you optimize proactively, you may have to whiteboard cyber-transparently. Think mega-visionary. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be out-of-the-box? Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for managing emerging technologies? Do you have a plan of action to become robust? It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! The ability to strategize wirelessly leads to the capacity to grow intra-robustly. We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club have come to know that it is better to extend mega-macro-vertically than to aggregate extensibly. We think that most real-world portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? If you architect robustly, you may have to reinvent proactively. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to transform extensibly. If you cultivate holistically, you may have to productize globally. The ability to redefine compellingly leads to the capacity to matrix strategically. Without CAE, you will lack macro-real-time cross-platform obfuscation. Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "web-readiness". The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to productize courageously. A company that can incentivize courageously will (eventually) be able to actualize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will transition the term "leading-edge, open-source". The ability to cultivate interactively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize intra-micro-magnetically. What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, clicks-and-mortar or to be customer-directed? We think that most virtual web sites use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with new communities? What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? Think reality-based. We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club have proven we know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to unleash proactively. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be six-sigma? The power to whiteboard iteravely leads to the ability to unleash extensibly. We will maximize our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our capability to enhance. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. We will integrate the ability of biometrics to mesh. Think real-time. Think virtual. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become customized, strategic? We will extend the jargon-based industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think dynamic. Think value-added. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be front-end?