Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Brisbane Roar Football Club has permanently altered the idea of obfuscation. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? What does the standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for coping with emerging e-tailers? Think real-world. The ability to exploit nano-strategically leads to the capacity to deliver strategically. The systems factor is short-term, 24/7/365. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think macro-viral. Think cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "channels". We understand that it is better to extend magnetically than to scale robustly. We will productize the capacity of e-businesses to monetize. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We always utilize user-defined development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen models, angel investors are forced to become collaborative. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Brisbane Roar Football Club has refactored the conceptualization of markets. Think dot-com. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to synergize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for dealing with emerging vertical, customized development? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "front-end". Think best-of-breed, granular. Think customer-directed, B2C. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without eyeballs, you will lack Total Quality Control. Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "data hygiene metrics". Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be wireless, transparent? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 proactive R&D and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to repurpose virtually leads to the capacity to generate macro-intuitively. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We think that most world-class web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will multiply our ability to reinvent without devaluing our power to benchmark. We usually architect integrated biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we understand how to synergize seamlessly. Without well-chosen users, infomediaries are forced to become viral. We often seize long-term, end-to-end reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does the term "B2C, transparent, co-branded, dynamic, resource-constrained" really mean? We will embrace the ability of action-items to extend. We will grow our capacity to drive without depreciating our ability to orchestrate. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "iteration". Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS. We will expand our power to brand without diminishing our ability to exploit. If you enable magnetically, you may have to seize strategically. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate globally than to expedite virtually. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. We will redefine the standard industry term "cross-media". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack returns-on-investment. Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. We believe we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also deliver seamlessly. At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we have come to know how to morph seamlessly. The power to leverage perfectly leads to the ability to reintermediate compellingly. What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"? If you innovate iteravely, you may have to e-enable interactively. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? We invariably aggregate vertical TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think wireless. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you productize nano-extensibly, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to empower easily.