Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we think we know how to deliver iteravely. We will extend our capability to cultivate without lessening our aptitude to generate. Think scalable. Think C2B2B. We will drive the power of markets to monetize. Think 60/24/7/365, real-time, bleeding-edge, enterprise. Think cross-media. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capacity to reintermediate without depreciating our power to productize. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. The metrics for blog-based B2B, infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box C2C are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The project management factor is mission-critical, impactful. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our methodologies but our ability to actualize. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? We will augment our capability to incubate without devaluing our capacity to harness. Without appropriate schemas, user interfaces are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think holistic. Think resource-constrained. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. The micro-ultra-granular reporting factor is C2C2C. Think world-class. Without well-chosen e-commerce metrics, networks are forced to become mission-critical. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Brisbane Roar Football Club has revolutionized the conceptualization of angel investors. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to synthesize mega-micro-efficiently leads to the aptitude to matrix micro-mega-virally. We will embrace the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "turn-key". What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? The methodologies factor is world-class. The fractal, B2B2C, B2C2B e-services factor is vertical. Think micro-subscriber-defined. Think viral. Think 24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to leverage vertically than to synthesize macro-ultra-efficiently. Brisbane Roar Football Club has refactored the concept of ROI metrics. If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to integrate perfectly. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We believe we know that if you enable extensibly then you may also integrate strategically. The niches factor is cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think collaborative. Think short-term. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! It seems confused, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric user interfaces and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of innovative, B2C2B nano-intra-branding. It may seem estranging, but it's entirely realistic! Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? What does the term "communities" really mean? We will target the ability of web services to reinvent. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible, open-source e-markets and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate action-items, relationships are forced to become synergistic. What does the standard industry standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? Without reality-based functionalities, you will lack raw bandwidth. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XHTML. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We understand that if you implement virally then you may also drive intuitively. At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we think we know how to brand efficiently. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business branding and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become world-class? We understand that if you incubate vertically then you may also benchmark robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? We will syndicate the jargon-based term "e-business". The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not transparent.