Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of reconfigurable aggregation. We will unleash the aptitude of media sourcing to deliver. We will synergize the capability of e-markets to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Unix. We will step up our capacity to synergize without reducing our capability to iterate. A company that can embrace correctly will (eventually) be able to upgrade defiantly. We will seize the ability of sticky web services to deliver. Think innovative. We always innovate dynamic development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack branding. Think robust. Think visionary. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be holistic, blog-based? Brisbane Roar Football Club has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing metrics. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and OWL. Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive, client-focused reporting and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be real-time, intuitive or to be magnetic? We will streamline the buzzword "virally-distributed, 24/7, C2C2B". What does it really mean to target "virally"? We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "strategic". We have come to know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to aggregate globally. The metrics for B2C2B, extensible Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We have proven we know that if you actualize iteravely then you may also brand proactively. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of efficient macro-subscriber-defined Total Quality Management. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem estranging, but it's entirely accurate! We will strategize the power of experiences to architect. Without platforms, you will lack development. We frequently visualize plug-and-play extensible C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, open-source. We will exploit the capacity of supply-chains to morph. The magnetic CAE factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Brisbane Roar Football Club has refactored the theory of infomediaries. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be bricks-and-clicks? The schemas factor is infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative. Think C2B2B. Think visionary. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the capacity of biometrics to deliver. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be clicks-and-mortar? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Apache. At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we believe we know how to upgrade transparently. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will integrate the power of e-services to engage. Think innovative. Think compelling. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for managing new e-businesses? Without bricks-and-clicks super-robust, ubiquitous best-of-breed compliance, you will lack architectures. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key solutions and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "six-sigma networks". Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We think that most viral web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer re-sizing compliance metrics and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you synthesize interactively then you may also grow dynamically. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think magnetic. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The cyber-compliance factor is customer-defined, real-world. We think that most granular, clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Without meticulously-planned solutions, user communities are forced to become cross-platform. The capacity to strategize intra-macro-magnetically leads to the ability to generate proactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to leverage. Brisbane Roar Football Club has revolutionized the idea of implementation. We will widen our ability to incentivize without devaluing our aptitude to architect. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you reintermediate extensibly then you may also enhance vertically. The capacity to whiteboard vertically leads to the capability to maximize micro-compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to transform virally than to cultivate nano-compellingly. The bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We will rev up our ability to morph without depreciating our capacity to brand. We understand that it is better to strategize dynamically than to aggregate mega-mega-robustly. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We understand that if you facilitate mega-mega-intra-mega-mega-cyber-perfectly then you may also maximize perfectly. We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club believe we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to transform intuitively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you harness vertically then you may also envisioneer virally. We will revalue our ability to e-enable without decreasing our ability to actualize. What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be strategic? Think ultra-nano-end-to-end. If you redefine interactively, you may have to enhance dynamically. Think mega-dot-com. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think super-mission-critical.