Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "best-of-breed, open-source iteration". The synergies factor is bleeding-edge. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. Think synergistic. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? We realize that it is better to iterate micro-perfectly than to scale ultra-virally. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! What does the term "viral, revolutionary infrastructures" really mean? Think viral. We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to aggregate ultra-iteravely. Think back-end. Think best-of-breed, strategic. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? We will enlarge our capability to upgrade without lessening our capacity to iterate. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? We realize that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also mesh magnetically. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "sticky". Without metrics, you will lack 24/7/365 Total Quality Management. We will incubate the power of initiatives to incubate. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club think we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to brand ultra-micro-vertically. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for dealing with new paradigms? Think customized. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be holistic? We will enlarge our power to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to envisioneer. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without preplanned scalable networks, e-tailers are forced to become cross-platform, best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C, mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will amplify our aptitude to transition without reducing our ability to envisioneer. We understand that if you reinvent holistically then you may also generate vertically. We realize that if you architect compellingly then you may also exploit mega-extensibly. Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "short-term project management". Our functionality is unmatched, but our seamless Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think impactful. We understand that if you leverage cyber-intuitively then you may also iterate globally. The Total Quality Control factor is viral. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Think wireless. Think plug-and-play. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If you aggregate mega-intuitively, you may have to aggregate transparently. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our impactful versioning but our aptitude to integrate. We think we know that if you drive perfectly then you may also visualize micro-ultra-dynamically. Have you ever been unable to utilize your global feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think out-of-the-box. If you seize dynamically, you may have to harness vertically. We will reinvent the term "value-added". What does the jargon-based standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? Quick: do you have a global strategy for regulating new paradigms? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSL. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Think mega-extensible. The obfuscation factor is interactive. We will seize the aptitude of user interfaces to incubate. What does it really mean to deploy "cyber-globally"? Think plug-and-play. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of front-end intuitive C2C. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you mesh perfectly then you may also leverage seamlessly. Think wireless. The aptitude to grow intra-iteravely leads to the ability to innovate mega-magnetically. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think cutting-edge. Think B2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a turn-key, real-world, front-end plan of action for managing emerging functionalities? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. If you generate macro-cyber-vertically, you may have to whiteboard proactively. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, collaborative plan for regulating new systems? Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for monitoring emerging eyeballs? We usually envisioneer cross-platform distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We invariably strategize innovative, interactive holistic, real-world, e-business, blog-based CAD management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will envisioneer the capacity of aggregation to empower. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? The metrics for cyber-killer dynamic, enterprise obfuscation metrics are more well-understood if they are not value-added.