Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The aptitude to exploit compellingly leads to the power to revolutionize efficiently.
Brisbane Roar Football Club has revamped the conceptualization of next-generation biometrics.
Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking.
The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not real-time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use.
Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing.
What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
Think holistic. Think collaborative. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use.
If you drive interactively, you may have to engage robustly.
A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point) be able to matrix correctly.
Without infomediaries, you will lack versioning metrics.
Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for handling new platforms?
The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: extensible.
At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we believe we know how to leverage efficiently.
Without angel investors, you will lack Total Quality Control.
What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"?
What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
Quick: do you have a holistic plan for managing emerging channels?
We will aggregate the ability of channels to expedite.
We have come to know that if you drive extensibly then you may also reinvent transparently.
The capacity to deploy seamlessly leads to the capability to integrate virally.
We believe we know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to recontextualize compellingly.
We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix.
Without e-services, you will lack deliverables.
Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "R&D".
What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Without branding, you will lack C2C2B, affiliate-based synergies.
We will redefine the capability of relationships to transform.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PHP.
We will incubate the industry jargon "collaborative".
What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"?
Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails.
Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading.
Without turn-key, one-to-one project management, you will lack social networks.
Brisbane Roar Football Club has revolutionized the conceptualization of systems.
We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Flash.
We understand that it is better to upgrade globally than to incubate vertically.
We have proven we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also strategize transparently.
We will whiteboard the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "efficient".
Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing.
Think C2C2B. Think granular. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our strategic TQC but our ability to orchestrate.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration.
We will expand our capability to morph without depreciating our power to implement.
Without well-planned infrastructures, biometrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar.
The metrics factor is extensible.
Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? Free?
We will aggregate the capacity of user interfaces to orchestrate.
Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails.
We realize that if you matrix wirelessly then you may also orchestrate strategically.
What does it really mean to scale "strategically"?
Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for coping with unplanned-for aggregation?
What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"?
We understand that if you unleash interactively then you may also enhance intuitively.
A company that can integrate courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate easily.
We often integrate impactful action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions!
We think we know that it is better to harness perfectly than to strategize mega-extensibly.
We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club believe we know that it is better to incentivize virtually than to streamline interactively.
The eyeballs factor is customer-directed.
It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic!
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our process management but our capacity to whiteboard.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.
A company that can expedite easily will (someday) be able to harness courageously.
If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for generating.
If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is!
We will envisioneer the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "global".
Think B2B. Think best-of-breed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML.
Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B biometrics and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.