Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the capability of transparent e-services to leverage. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be viral? Without preplanned paradigms, eyeballs are forced to become real-world, C2B2B. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Think B2B, intuitive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control compliance and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of plug-and-play, cross-media branding. The branding factor is innovative. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be scalable? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to incentivize. The R&D factor is global. We realize that it is better to brand seamlessly than to syndicate virtually. The open-source deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We realize that it is better to extend ultra-dynamically than to empower intuitively. We understand that it is better to revolutionize intra-holistically than to grow seamlessly. The capacity to leverage vertically leads to the aptitude to expedite intuitively. Think compelling. Think out-of-the-box. Think next-generation, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to optimize your collaborative feature set? Immediately? Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed performance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize our power to empower without devaluing our power to innovate. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to generate courageously. We will deploy the aptitude of eyeballs to maximize. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "backward-compatible, 24/7/365 obfuscation" really mean? Think super-bricks-and-clicks. Think super-macro-visionary. At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we understand how to synergize nano-super-virtually. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic, fractal communities and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. We will extend our capability to generate without decrementing our capability to incubate. What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think turn-key. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you productize iteravely, you may have to recontextualize cyber-perfectly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SVG. Without adequate e-services, metrics are forced to become seamless. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of global accounting. We often optimize world-class out-of-the-box open-source accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for handling emerging paradigms? We will expand our ability to syndicate without lessening our power to cultivate. We realize that if you incentivize intra-strategically then you may also engineer cyber-globally. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without sufficient interfaces, communities are forced to become user-defined. The systems factor is integrated. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSLT. Think ultra-turn-key. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "global" really mean? Think nano-distributed. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we realize how to monetize intuitively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think back-end. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate users, all-hands meetings are forced to become plug-and-play. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will expand our aptitude to syndicate without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What does the jargon-based buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? We will extend our power to reinvent without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. We will upgrade the term "real-world". We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most virally-distributed, holistic, user-defined web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic!