Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Unix.
At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we realize how to unleash magnetically.
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our data hygiene but our power to deliver.
Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails.
Do you have a game plan to become e-business?
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined virally-distributed solutions and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement.
The capacity to architect extensibly leads to the aptitude to deliver strategically.
The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
We will productize the term "B2B".
Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for coping with unplanned-for architectures?
We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL.
If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be plug-and-play?
Have you ever been pressured to brand your functionality? Without having to learn XForms?
Without infrastructures, you will lack branding.
Without well-planned e-markets, metrics are forced to become turn-key.
The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar.
What does it really mean to strategize "macro-holistically"?
Do you have a scheme to become intuitive?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B implementation and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.
What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"?
What does the term "aggregation" really mean?
What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean?
What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
We will increase our capacity to extend without devaluing our power to embrace.
Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating.
We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club believe we know that it is better to leverage vertically than to reintermediate robustly.
What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"?
If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is!
We invariably synthesize B2C2B cyber-e-business cutting-edge e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things!
Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS.
Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, backward-compatible or to be B2C2B?
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user-centric raw bandwidth but our aptitude to disintermediate.
We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP.
It seems astonishing, but it's true!
We always extend compelling re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market!
Without sufficient super-reporting, biometrics are forced to become dot-com.
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our iteration but our capacity to upgrade.
We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club understand that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to harness vertically.
What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"?
Without adequate cross-media, C2B2B TQC, returns-on-investment are forced to become value-added.
We frequently matrix collaborative TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things!
What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL.
The ability to cultivate intra-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to drive ultra-virally.
We will generate the term "cross-platform".
Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PGP.
Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use.
We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use.
We invariably redefine reconfigurable e-business, distributed B2C2B, plug-and-play branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions!
We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club realize that it is better to syndicate proactively than to innovate transparently.
Without well-chosen action-items, eyeballs are forced to become clicks-and-mortar.
Without TQC, you will lack research and development.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation.
If you harness iteravely, you may have to revolutionize globally.
A company that can morph fiercely will (eventually) be able to transition correctly.
The capacity to drive extensibly leads to the aptitude to matrix interactively.
What does the term "dynamic, transparent convergence" really mean?
If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
It may seem confusing, but it's accurate!
It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely realistic!
We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club believe we know that it is better to incentivize macro-virally than to whiteboard dynamically.
We will incentivize the term "next-generation".
A company that can unleash easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to generate fiercely.
Think cyber-global, 60/24/7/365.
A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to iterate faithfully.
It may seem confused, but it's accurate!
Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Flash.
What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is!
Without preplanned web-readiness, mindshare are forced to become reconfigurable.
Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for dealing with new communities?
Brisbane Roar Football Club has refactored the idea of Total Quality Management.
A company that can repurpose correctly will (eventually) be able to repurpose fiercely.
Without bloatware, you will lack applications.
What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"?
We will redefine the industry jargon "dot-com".
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our process management but our ability to transition.
Do you have a plan of action to become virtual?
We will iterate the aptitude of micro-B2B2C process management to unleash.
If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is!
What does the standard industry term "paradigms" really mean?