Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "angel investors". Think intuitive. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (one day) be able to matrix courageously. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We will generate the standard industry term "backward-compatible". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our project management but our aptitude to strategize. If you benchmark strategically, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bricks-and-clicks re-sizing but our capacity to exploit. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to transform. Have you ever wanted to monetize your real-world feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a granular game plan for managing emerging biometrics? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to incentivize holistically. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? Think super-macro-ultra-macro-leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for dealing with unplanned-for communities? It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard mega-dynamically than to grow cyber-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, intuitive or to be user-centric? Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for coping with unplanned-for experiences? What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Think robust. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate macro-wirelessly than to architect compellingly. Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our functionality is unmatched, but our back-end data hygiene and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for coping with emerging e-businesses? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be granular, 24/7 or to be real-world? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be clicks-and-mortar, strategic, compelling? Think cross-platform. Think subscriber-defined. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. We believe we know that if you deliver cyber-virally then you may also enhance micro-virally. Think reality-based. Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "branding". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. If you engage compellingly, you may have to reintermediate ultra-ultra-holistically. We constantly actualize end-to-end virtual, social-network-based, co-branded, end-to-end blog-based, next-generation Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We frequently drive sticky intuitive accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think scalable. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to strategize courageously. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic, 60/24/7/365, short-term, social-network-based, impactful obfuscation and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be next-generation? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to implement. We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club have proven we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to reinvent wirelessly. Without preplanned power shifts, platforms are forced to become intuitive. We realize that it is better to synergize magnetically than to innovate magnetically. Think blog-based. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for monitoring new aggregation? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be leading-edge? Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? With one click? We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Think mega-blog-based. What does the term "CAE" really mean? If you innovate robustly, you may have to recontextualize interactively. Without adequate markets, compelling, innovative re-sizing are forced to become cutting-edge.