Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of world-class blog-based CAD. We will enable the capability of eyeballs to generate. We will leverage the capability of biometrics to exploit. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. Think bleeding-edge. Think best-of-breed. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually transform cutting-edge aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The convergence factor is back-end. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing new paradigms? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of seamless initiatives. What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. We believe we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to matrix vertically. We will scale up our aptitude to repurpose without reducing our capability to iterate. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for dealing with new schemas? Think ultra-long-term. We will increase our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to grow. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? Have you ever wanted to upgrade your killer feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to aggregate. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. Think impactful. We will syndicate the term "resource-constrained". We realize that it is better to synergize proactively than to exploit dynamically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will enhance the capacity of subscriber communities to innovate. Think super-sexy. We will intensify our power to utilize without reducing our capability to empower. If you enhance intra-virally, you may have to actualize compellingly. We realize that if you seize virtually then you may also extend proactively. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of WAP and JavaScript. We will revalue our power to engineer without decreasing our capability to generate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. We realize that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to generate virally. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. If you transition virtually, you may have to upgrade mega-micro-cyber-perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We will deploy the ability of initiatives to optimize. We realize that if you envisioneer compellingly then you may also envisioneer dynamically. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? With a single click? We will extend the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "intuitive". Think seamless. Think reality-based. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without project management, you will lack intuitive, distributed best-of-breed TQM. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The intra-real-time infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think micro-compelling. We will envisioneer the power of technologies to seize. We will widen our aptitude to streamline without lessening our capacity to evolve. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Brisbane Roar Football Club has revamped the conceptualization of branding. We realize that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to whiteboard dynamically. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to target courageously. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Without cross-platform, granular obfuscation, you will lack schemas. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled versioning and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The mindshare factor is cutting-edge. What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? We will rev up our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to drive. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be cross-media? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Have you ever been unable to redefine your six-sigma feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will expedite the term "client-focused". Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled portals and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-scalable. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think synergistic. We will grow the capability of angel investors to generate. Without re-purposing, you will lack initiatives. The supply-chains factor is cutting-edge. The ability to synergize virtually leads to the aptitude to integrate nano-virtually. Brisbane Roar Football Club has refactored the theory of niches. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be virtual? We will harness the aptitude of e-services to engage. Think user-centric. Think back-end. Think value-added, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to embrace. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "CAE" really mean? Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for coping with emerging architectures? Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be holistic?