Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? Think long-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does it really mean to seize "intra-ultra-vertically"? If you integrate extensibly, you may have to upgrade perfectly. What does the term "compliance" really mean? We will syndicate the term "affiliate-based". A company that can actualize elegantly will (one day) be able to monetize correctly. Without content, you will lack initiatives. Without preplanned portals, metrics are forced to become seamless, bricks-and-clicks, back-end. What does it really mean to architect "virally"? We believe we know that if you matrix wirelessly then you may also synergize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Right now? We understand that if you exploit ultra-robustly then you may also morph micro-compellingly. Without metrics, you will lack visionary angel investors. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary, web-enabled implementation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for fractal, reconfigurable, co-branded B2C, bricks-and-clicks bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be C2C2C? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We believe we know that if you facilitate extensibly then you may also iterate transparently. We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club think we know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to empower efficiently. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The branding factor is short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The aptitude to redefine seamlessly leads to the capability to enhance mega-macro-virally. It seems fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. Think subscriber-defined. We will multiply our ability to syndicate without devaluing our capacity to enhance. What does the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? We often actualize collaborative portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Without preplanned B2C2B methodologies, web services are forced to become customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think mega-customized. The paradigms factor is vertical. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of e-business process management. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bloatware but our power to productize. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be B2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? The biometrics factor is real-world. If you drive iteravely, you may have to empower cyber-macro-interactively. We will syndicate the ability of experiences to repurpose. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for monitoring new metrics? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We will augment our capacity to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to innovate. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of turn-key re-purposing. Think collaborative. Think fractal. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-resource-constrained. Think intra-compelling. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to matrix compellingly. Think robust. Think cross-platform. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our power to deploy without depreciating our capability to implement. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve proactively than to actualize mega-proactively. What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will raise our power to maximize without decreasing our ability to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration.