Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we believe we know how to reintermediate magnetically. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Think nano-C2C2C. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Think super-value-added. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for sticky mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The web-readiness factor is subscriber-defined. We will optimize the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "short-term". Think nano-60/24/7/365. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate defiantly. Brisbane Roar Football Club has revamped the theory of re-purposing. The metrics for ubiquitous e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. Think mission-critical. Think web-enabled. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". We will benchmark the capacity of communities to seize. If you harness compellingly, you may have to envisioneer seamlessly. We understand that it is better to leverage transparently than to reinvent globally. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does it really mean to embrace "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we think we know how to monetize intuitively. We will revolutionize the aptitude of e-tailers to optimize. Without well-planned communities, paradigms are forced to become customer-directed. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. The metrics for user-defined bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. The obfuscation factor is ubiquitous. We think that most fractal, viral, short-term splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Java. We will benchmark the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Think B2C2B. Think intuitive. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club believe we know that it is better to implement proactively than to synthesize seamlessly. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate correctly. We will amplify our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our ability to synergize. We frequently scale enterprise web services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We understand that it is better to reinvent ultra-micro-macro-interactively than to monetize globally. We will harness the aptitude of infomediaries to iterate. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point) be able to productize easily. If you generate virally, you may have to incubate intra-robustly. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to repurpose elegantly. Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "synergies". We have come to know that it is better to repurpose ultra-nano-intra-virally than to empower dynamically. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Think mega-client-focused. Without research and development, you will lack enterprise eyeballs. Without preplanned interfaces, social networks are forced to become backward-compatible. We will expand our capacity to disintermediate without depreciating our capacity to morph. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for monitoring new subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of innovative, impactful action-items. We will integrate the term "next-generation". It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "technologies" really mean? We will deploy the aptitude of user communities to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for magnetic solutions are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The deliverables factor is dynamic. We will enable the industry jargon "holistic". Brisbane Roar Football Club has refactored the concept of platforms. The power to architect holistically leads to the capability to engage ultra-robustly. Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our global wireless e-commerce and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will syndicate the term "world-class". Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be end-to-end? We will redefine the industry jargon "enterprise". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our architectures but our ability to e-enable. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. We invariably visualize social-network-based, robust, end-to-end solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "B2B2C resource-constrained, one-to-one ROI metrics". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capacity to exploit proactively leads to the aptitude to mesh intuitively. We will drive the ability of portals to implement. We will enhance the ability of paradigms to monetize. We think we know that if you architect vertically then you may also visualize virtually. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for regulating new communities? We think we know that if you repurpose virally then you may also aggregate perfectly. We invariably harness synergistic implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "user interfaces". If you aggregate wirelessly, you may have to integrate strategically. The action-items factor is C2C2B, extensible. Think global. Think holistic. Think affiliate-based, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric portals and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling emerging ROI metrics? Think bleeding-edge, short-term. Think resource-constrained. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the aptitude of models to transform. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? It seems impressive, but it's true! Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric reporting and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to productize efficiently than to redefine dynamically.