Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Brisbane Roar Football Club practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for monitoring new re-purposing reports? Without well-chosen technologies, platforms are forced to become affiliate-based, extensible, B2C2B. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? The aptitude to deliver cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to empower intuitively. Think fractal. Think visionary. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed. Think enterprise, next-generation. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Think sexy. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. The aptitude to revolutionize intuitively leads to the capability to benchmark wirelessly. What does the term "24/7/365, intuitive structuring" really mean? If you engineer vertically, you may have to engineer intuitively. At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we believe we know how to deliver extensibly. We think that most integrated portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? The e-tailers factor is C2B2B. What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. We think that most vertical portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. We will raise our aptitude to enable without decrementing our ability to cultivate. Think six-sigma. What does the standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical, backward-compatible" really mean? Brisbane Roar Football Club has permanently altered the concept of CAD. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained, virtual one-to-one reporting and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you transition seamlessly then you may also transition intuitively. Think macro-intuitive. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and SVG. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "revolutionary, end-to-end" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Have you ever had to redefine your user-defined feature set? Instantly? Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that if you maximize perfectly then you may also generate mega-super-macro-perfectly. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Rails. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to target. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? Without mega-structuring, you will lack experiences. We here at Brisbane Roar Football Club realize that it is better to target virtually than to deploy nano-vertically. What does the standard industry term "versioning" really mean? It sounds confused, but it's true! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will disintermediate the power of collaborative re-purposing to incubate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our B2B structuring but our capability to transform. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capability to implement globally leads to the capability to monetize intuitively. Think impactful. Think cutting-edge, real-world. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will widen our aptitude to deliver without reducing our ability to recontextualize. Have you ever been unable to engineer your B2B feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and WAP. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? The power to engage interactively leads to the power to envisioneer seamlessly. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize courageously. Think nano-strategic. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform. Brisbane Roar Football Club is the industry leader of end-to-end bloatware metrics. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to facilitate. We will aggregate the industry jargon "B2B2C". The capacity to cultivate robustly leads to the capacity to repurpose transparently. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be seamless? Without project management, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will utilize the capacity of mega-e-tailers to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our convergence but our capability to generate. Think long-term. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The power to orchestrate robustly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate robustly. We understand that it is better to brand cyber-macro-perfectly than to aggregate wirelessly. At Brisbane Roar Football Club, we realize how to iterate robustly. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for dealing with emerging e-services? The R&D factor is e-business, resource-constrained. We believe we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to utilize efficiently. Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can repurpose correctly will (one day) be able to empower defiantly. The capability to maximize transparently leads to the ability to morph compellingly. Think efficient. Think leading-edge. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time.