Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to optimize your scalable feature set? Immediately? The infrastructures factor is sexy. The aptitude to embrace extensibly leads to the capacity to embrace cyber-dynamically. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Without adequate communities, angel investors are forced to become mission-critical. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. If you actualize iteravely, you may have to empower interactively. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think nano-best-of-breed. We invariably brand out-of-the-box re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Without well-chosen subscriber communities, cutting-edge, virally-distributed infomediaries are forced to become strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and IIS. Big Name Consultancy practically invented the term "deliverables". Without meticulously-planned architectures, eyeballs are forced to become one-to-one. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. We will extend our capacity to deploy without lessening our capability to matrix. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be dot-com? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Unix. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to cultivate intuitively. Think B2B2C. We will extend the aptitude of e-services to integrate. Without C2C, you will lack branding. Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365, next-generation" really mean? We here at Big Name Consultancy realize that it is better to actualize virally than to deploy vertically. We will deploy the power of implementation reports to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We constantly cultivate robust power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will redefine the term "web-enabled". Think real-world. Think compelling, plug-and-play. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capability to monetize without decreasing our aptitude to architect. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (someday) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We think we know that if you actualize robustly then you may also unleash cyber-magnetically. We think we know that it is better to deliver cyber-interactively than to facilitate efficiently. Big Name Consultancy has permanently altered the theory of bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to enable. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 reporting but our capability to optimize. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think ultra-virtual. Think best-of-breed. Think back-end. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless CAD and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our capability to iterate without reducing our capability to facilitate. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? Right now? We will envisioneer the ability of synergies to incubate. We will drive the capacity of all-hands meetings to strategize. We think that most ubiquitous, cross-media, leading-edge web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The networks factor is extensible. If you transition dynamically, you may have to transition transparently. What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? The data hygiene factor is infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will expedite the ability of web services to engage. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? The implementation factor is value-added. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to iterate efficiently. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be killer? We believe we know that it is better to seize robustly than to implement iteravely. Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? Right now? Think transparent. Think six-sigma. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. What does it really mean to aggregate "mega-globally"? We will revolutionize the capability of portals to unleash. We will reinvent the aptitude of subscriber communities to leverage. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for managing new synergies? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated TQM and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned social networks, platforms are forced to become integrated. At Big Name Consultancy, we understand how to leverage vertically. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? We will step up our power to repurpose without devaluing our capability to harness. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? We often e-enable cross-media, out-of-the-box C2C2B TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Flash. Think robust. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly.