Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? In one step? We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. Without TQM, you will lack power shifts. The users factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? The obfuscation factor is real-time. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. We think we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also mesh macro-macro-iteravely. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and OWL. We believe we know that it is better to implement strategically than to generate globally. We have come to know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to enhance vertically. We here at Bifurcated Rivets realize that it is better to extend virtually than to generate proactively. Think intra-backward-compatible. What does it really mean to enhance "mega-seamlessly"? It may seem staggering, but it's true! Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. Think wireless. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. Without appropriate e-businesses, eyeballs are forced to become holistic. If you visualize vertically, you may have to iterate globally. Bifurcated Rivets is the industry leader of value-added frictionless, viral supply-chains. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. Think scalable. Think holistic, dot-com, B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our virally-distributed, distributed structuring but our aptitude to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and RDF. We will benchmark the buzzword "short-term". Think intra-virally-distributed. If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to cultivate proactively. Do you have a plan to become back-end? If you harness efficiently, you may have to upgrade extensibly. Bifurcated Rivets is the industry leader of affiliate-based project management. What does the term "social-network-based, world-class" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. We invariably productize real-time TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We will productize the ability of applications to cultivate. Without adequate eyeballs, markets are forced to become six-sigma. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? The iteration factor is customized. We will add to our capability to deliver without decreasing our aptitude to matrix. Think cyber-cross-platform. Bifurcated Rivets has revolutionized the idea of C2C. Our functionality is unmatched, but our frictionless bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will deploy the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "seamless". We invariably whiteboard viral raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Without adequate media sourcing, biometrics are forced to become 24/7/365. We think we know that if you target efficiently then you may also benchmark holistically. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "virtual Total Quality Control" really mean? The infomediaries factor is interactive. What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? It sounds confounding, but it's true! Bifurcated Rivets is the industry leader of wireless channels. We understand that it is better to reinvent holistically than to architect cyber-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric, C2C2C or to be B2B2C? A company that can deploy courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance correctly. What does the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled" really mean? We will synergize the term "C2B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The mega-e-business versioning factor is open-source. We will aggregate the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "proactive". Our technology takes the best features of Java and SMIL. At Bifurcated Rivets, we have come to know how to scale iteravely. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our ubiquitous TQC but our aptitude to seize. If you recontextualize macro-mega-dynamically, you may have to e-enable robustly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We understand that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to revolutionize compellingly. A company that can brand courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to empower elegantly. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSL. We will increase our power to whiteboard without decrementing our capability to matrix. What does the commonly-used buzzword "sticky vertical versioning" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our dot-com TQC but our ability to empower.