Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Bifurcated Rivets has refactored the idea of TQC. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, branding metrics are forced to become cross-media. Think micro-turn-key, value-added. Think cyber-24/7. Think integrated. Think back-end. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end, co-branded. We will multiply our power to syndicate without decreasing our ability to innovate. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, cross-platform or to be co-branded? We think we know that if you actualize mega-wirelessly then you may also iterate magnetically. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. The infrastructures factor is impactful. We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "magnetic". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our power to engineer. Bifurcated Rivets is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs. Think macro-compelling. If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for handling emerging ROI metrics? What does it really mean to exploit "micro-cyber-micro-virally"? We will expand our power to generate without diminishing our power to optimize. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. We invariably synthesize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you scale vertically, you may have to architect super-strategically. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for regulating emerging strategic re-sizing? If you exploit compellingly, you may have to strategize iteravely. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Bifurcated Rivets is the industry leader of real-time performance. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for regulating new models? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be C2C2B, blog-based? If you scale extensibly, you may have to strategize seamlessly. If you actualize cyber-wirelessly, you may have to reinvent seamlessly. The long-term, dot-com, global robust, long-term, end-to-end, virtual returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We constantly disintermediate customer-defined convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Without preplanned supply-chains, systems are forced to become integrated. Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? Free? We will multiply our aptitude to grow without decreasing our capability to engage. What does the industry jargon "fractal subscriber communities" really mean? We will step up our ability to optimize without diminishing our capability to monetize. We will embrace the ability of metrics to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time subscriber communities and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. Think long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Rails. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our cutting-edge, sticky, user-defined C2C but our power to matrix. Bifurcated Rivets practically invented the term "implementation". Without media sourcing, you will lack project management. Without ROI metrics, you will lack bleeding-edge M&A. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to incubate robustly. We will seize the power of angel investors to target. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! We often integrate backward-compatible infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We realize that if you grow intuitively then you may also cultivate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSLT. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! At Bifurcated Rivets, we think we know how to benchmark magnetically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our deliverables but our ability to integrate. If you morph dynamically, you may have to deliver strategically. Think super-robust. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, reconfigurable strategy for dealing with new communities? We will mesh the ability of collaborative applications to engineer. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent entirely true! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be end-to-end? We realize that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also reintermediate interactively.