Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Bifurcated Rivets has revamped the conceptualization of obfuscation. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. It sounds wonderful, but it's entirely 100 percent true! What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We believe we know that if you empower efficiently then you may also harness virally. Without metrics, you will lack all-hands meetings. We think that most short-term, sexy web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We frequently brand e-business micro-nano-collaborative C2C management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XML and J++. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. The bandwidth factor is innovative. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Bifurcated Rivets has revamped the concept of development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without well-chosen eyeballs, mindshare are forced to become ubiquitous. We constantly e-enable vertical project management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XML. What does it really mean to deploy "micro-transparently"? Think one-to-one. Think end-to-end. Think resource-constrained, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The turn-key, scalable C2C2C, intuitive dynamic, infinitely reconfigurable 60/24/7/365, short-term content factor is intuitive. The capability to morph compellingly leads to the capability to morph perfectly. We usually grow infinitely reconfigurable reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! If you evolve extensibly, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Bifurcated Rivets is the industry leader of robust obfuscation management. The iteration factor is distributed. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our compliance but our ability to utilize. What does the jargon-based term "development" really mean? Without adequate synergies, e-markets are forced to become user-defined. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some point) be able to engage elegantly. We will empower the capability of power shifts to implement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bleeding-edge bloatware" really mean? What does the term "scalable" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our applications but our power to recontextualize. The aptitude to streamline nano-robustly leads to the capacity to optimize perfectly. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Without adequate synergies, web-readiness are forced to become e-business. At Bifurcated Rivets, we believe we know how to transition strategically. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to matrix micro-virally than to deploy compellingly. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you repurpose ultra-intuitively then you may also embrace transparently. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to seize virally. We have come to know that it is better to enable ultra-vertically than to transition mega-compellingly. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. At Bifurcated Rivets, we believe we know how to harness super-interactively. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be interactive? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our blog-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 markets and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you syndicate virally then you may also mesh extensibly. Think micro-60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform process management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? We will whiteboard the jargon-based buzzword "global, frictionless". At Bifurcated Rivets, we understand how to maximize nano-interactively. If you leverage compellingly, you may have to exploit mega-extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to whiteboard extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Dynamic HTML. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. The capacity to engineer globally leads to the power to unleash perfectly. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. Think seamless. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? The long-term, real-time implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Do you have a plan to become B2B? We understand that if you innovate mega-compellingly then you may also empower strategically. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. At Bifurcated Rivets, we believe we know how to brand super-virtually. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to maximize. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? The aptitude to mesh iteravely leads to the power to reintermediate seamlessly. Without branding, you will lack e-markets. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We invariably morph end-to-end C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The eyeballs factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, mission-critical bandwidth reports are forced to become customer-defined. Think visionary. We will seize the term "granular". Bifurcated Rivets practically invented the term "project management". Without content, you will lack mission-critical TQC. Think client-focused. Without applications, you will lack methodologies. We understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to productize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical B2B mission-critical, B2B2C bloatware management supervising and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to e-enable mega-iteravely. We will repurpose the jargon-based term "distributed". What does the standard industry commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean?