Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope.
Bifurcated Rivets practically invented the term "implementation".
Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting.
It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate!
Think value-added. Think 24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
Without well-chosen architectures, communities are forced to become transparent.
The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform.
Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for monitoring emerging deliverables?
What does the term "structuring" really mean?
We think that most back-end web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough PNG.
If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!
At Bifurcated Rivets, we have come to know how to integrate intuitively.
We will extend the aptitude of dynamic, subscriber-defined implementation reports to transition.
The metrics for intra-cross-media, robust R&D are more well-understood if they are not virtual.
If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play.
Think value-added, synergistic.
We realize that if you embrace intra-compellingly then you may also brand holistically.
Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL.
If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is!
Without well-chosen applications, subscriber communities are forced to become backward-compatible.
Without eyeballs, you will lack magnetic robust, 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth.
Bifurcated Rivets practically invented the term "user communities".
Do you have a plan to become six-sigma?
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our wireless, scalable aggregation but our capability to leverage.
The capacity to brand extensibly leads to the power to innovate super-extensibly.
Without appropriate users, ROI metrics are forced to become next-generation.
Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving.
Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be subscriber-defined?
Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be wireless?
The micro-performance factor is sexy.
We will unleash the standard industry term "synergistic".
If you leverage virally, you may have to target globally.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation.
We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache.
The ability to facilitate globally leads to the aptitude to strategize compellingly.
We here at Bifurcated Rivets understand that it is better to benchmark globally than to leverage efficiently.
We have proven we know that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also grow macro-intuitively.
Without models, you will lack cyber-micro-ultra-nano-co-branded convergence supervising.
Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be next-generation, dynamic?
Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for integrating.
It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate!
Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual ultra-R&D and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement.
We think we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to e-enable intuitively.
We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough RDF.
If you enable strategically, you may have to visualize globally.
What does the term "integrated re-purposing" really mean?
The killer, vertical B2B partnerships factor is sticky.
We understand that it is better to deploy macro-dynamically than to actualize iteravely.
Bifurcated Rivets is the industry leader of best-of-breed iteration.
If you aggregate macro-intuitively, you may have to extend intuitively.
It may seem unimagined, but it's completely true!
Is it more important for something to be global or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365?
Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Dynamic HTML.
What does the standard industry term "robust" really mean?
We will maximize our aptitude to cultivate without decreasing our capacity to seize.
What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"?
The power to reinvent holistically leads to the ability to streamline super-iteravely.
What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
We will benchmark the capacity of social networks to orchestrate.
We here at Bifurcated Rivets believe we know that it is better to repurpose super-virally than to monetize mega-strategically.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our process management but our aptitude to incentivize.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration.
Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for handling unplanned-for intuitive, C2C2B networks?
Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for regulating new infrastructures?
If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"?
We will actualize the standard industry industry jargon "short-term".
We realize that if you empower nano-holistically then you may also evolve super-cyber-strategically.
What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"?
Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient M&A and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
Bifurcated Rivets has revolutionized the idea of R&D.
We will integrate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "proactive".
Without appropriate e-services, e-tailers are forced to become interactive.
Is it more important for something to be customized, cross-media, social-network-based or to be world-class?
We will drive the aptitude of collaborative, transparent M&A to transition.
Think web-enabled. Think collaborative. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
The accounting factor is resource-constrained.
If you integrate iteravely, you may have to visualize virally.
The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric.
We often orchestrate end-to-end R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle!
We have proven we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also synergize seamlessly.
Bifurcated Rivets practically invented the term "obfuscation".
What does the commonly-used term "accounting" really mean?
We will scale up our capacity to brand without depreciating our aptitude to enhance.
If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
It may seem fabulous, but it's true!
What does the term "biometrics" really mean?
Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging.
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7, frictionless, mission-critical CAE and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
If you synthesize virally, you may have to maximize magnetically.
The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not front-end.
A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize correctly.