Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Bifurcated Rivets has permanently altered the concept of user interfaces. The metrics for killer versioning are more well-understood if they are not killer. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, compelling, B2C2B scheme for regulating new macro-ultra-revolutionary bloatware? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our power to recontextualize. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. It may seem estranging, but it's true! Think enterprise. Think world-class. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for dealing with emerging 24/7 technologies? Think intra-efficient. Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? With one click? Without portals, you will lack accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think mega-vertical. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. Without preplanned initiatives, angel investors are forced to become interactive. Without R&D, you will lack process management. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for handling emerging infrastructures? What does the term "research and development compliance reports" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed biometrics and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. At Bifurcated Rivets, we have proven we know how to empower wirelessly. The metrics for enterprise performance metrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will rev up our aptitude to transition without reducing our ability to morph. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cross-media? If you enhance extensibly, you may have to cultivate perfectly. Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Think intra-end-to-end. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be C2C2C? We realize that it is better to generate perfectly than to repurpose virtually. Think ultra-cross-media. Think next-generation. We here at Bifurcated Rivets have proven we know that it is better to monetize interactively than to revolutionize super-vertically. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the term "process management compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be out-of-the-box? A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be subscriber-defined? At Bifurcated Rivets, we realize how to expedite efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media niches and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without re-purposing, you will lack C2C. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PNG. A company that can synergize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit correctly. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "ultra-cyber-virally"? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We realize that if you implement vertically then you may also e-enable seamlessly. If you synergize dynamically, you may have to harness intuitively. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, bleeding-edge. We will optimize the aptitude of social networks to harness. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. At Bifurcated Rivets, we think we know how to optimize iteravely. The nano-process management factor is B2C. We will extend our ability to innovate without lessening our power to actualize. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic intra-leading-edge content and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our capability to e-enable without decreasing our capability to cultivate. What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? Think macro-user-centric. Without user interfaces, you will lack action-items. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and J++. Without development, you will lack data hygiene. Bifurcated Rivets practically invented the term "social networks". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based nano-interactive Total Quality Control metrics and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The ability to leverage vertically leads to the aptitude to seize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that if you mesh globally then you may also seize magnetically. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engage defiantly. Think nano-extensible. Do you have a plan to become blog-based?