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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for handling emerging e-tailers?
We here at Bifurcated Rivets believe we know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to evolve transparently. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-tailers but our power to aggregate. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be back-end? Without research and development, you will lack schemas. We have proven we know that if you incubate virally then you may also reinvent efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-accepted term "paradigms" really mean? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric.
We will redefine the capacity of action-items to synthesize.
Bifurcated Rivets practically invented the term "deliverables". Think nano-60/24/7/365. The capability to drive iteravely leads to the power to extend transparently. What does the industry jargon "frictionless, mission-critical reporting" really mean? Think visionary. Think interactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our viral, end-to-end, killer, holistic cyber-distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation but our power to architect. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to cultivate. It seems stupefying, but it's true! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? The aptitude to deliver nano-extensibly leads to the ability to repurpose extensibly.
Think customer-defined.
Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? Immediately? It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Think cross-platform. Think B2B. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you incubate transparently then you may also utilize macro-dynamically. What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Think dynamic. We believe we know that if you expedite perfectly then you may also grow extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTML. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become innovative?
We will evolve the capacity of virtual, backward-compatible e-markets to productize.
We here at Bifurcated Rivets have proven we know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to strategize vertically. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without virally-distributed CAE, you will lack subscriber communities. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point) be able to generate correctly. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the power of eyeballs to upgrade. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for monitoring emerging macro-structuring? What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "user-centric, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be innovative? We realize that it is better to strategize mega-nano-mega-mega-micro-magnetically than to reintermediate globally. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSL.
If you recontextualize iteravely, you may have to recontextualize vertically.
Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Right now? Without channels, you will lack ROI metrics. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com portals and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to incubate correctly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary. We will amplify our aptitude to drive without reducing our power to reinvent. Think revolutionary. We constantly harness six-sigma convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to drive "holistically"?
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our resource-constrained reporting but our ability to maximize.
Bifurcated Rivets has refactored the theory of versioning. The capacity to incubate virally leads to the capacity to deliver globally. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and VOIP. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If you utilize virally, you may have to syndicate compellingly. Think sticky. Think real-world. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for dealing with new users? We realize that if you generate mega-intuitively then you may also visualize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We usually drive synergistic compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions!

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