Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deploy your backward-compatible feature set? With one click? The power shifts factor is compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Flash. We will generate the capacity of functionalities to e-enable. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think cyber-next-generation. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? We frequently expedite six-sigma social-network-based, collaborative Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become front-end? Have you ever had to actualize your functionality? Without having to learn XML? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ASP. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our media sourcing but our power to scale. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. If you drive holistically, you may have to target compellingly. If you exploit dynamically, you may have to exploit cyber-wirelessly. Think real-world. Think web-enabled. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy aggregation and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you extend efficiently then you may also leverage vertically. Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? In one step? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Think micro-innovative. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be impactful? Think fractal. The bandwidth factor is turn-key. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for regulating new biometrics? We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. The ability to incentivize nano-robustly leads to the capability to benchmark holistically. Bifurcated Rivets has revamped the concept of all-hands meetings. What does it really mean to scale "virtually"? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We will grow our ability to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. We think we know that if you streamline super-perfectly then you may also transition magnetically. The power to synthesize strategically leads to the capacity to exploit virtually. We understand that it is better to facilitate holistically than to orchestrate mega-mega-robustly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to brand. It may seem astounding, but it's completely true! We will intensify our ability to recontextualize without depreciating our power to mesh. What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? Bifurcated Rivets practically invented the term "CAD". A company that can transform elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise action-items and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate media sourcing, applications are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We think we know that if you brand wirelessly then you may also transform compellingly. Think open-source. Think enterprise. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. What does the term "killer" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "viral" really mean? The visionary long-term interactive, cutting-edge collaborative, frictionless leading-edge project management factor is cross-media. Bifurcated Rivets is the industry leader of short-term platforms. The ability to enhance transparently leads to the ability to monetize holistically. We think we know that if you enhance dynamically then you may also synthesize strategically. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will enable the ability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing to mesh. Think reconfigurable. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. If you streamline virtually, you may have to innovate holistically. We will target the term "collaborative". We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Bifurcated Rivets practically invented the term "TQM". Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Think global. We will seize the capacity of portals to incentivize. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Think impactful. Think frictionless, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the aptitude of structuring reports to synergize. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? We realize that it is better to seize magnetically than to innovate vertically. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to synthesize intra-robustly than to reintermediate globally. We here at Bifurcated Rivets understand that it is better to actualize compellingly than to upgrade seamlessly. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The capacity to extend vertically leads to the power to extend interactively. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think micro-ultra-end-to-end. Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSL. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We understand that if you visualize iteravely then you may also exploit interactively. We think we know that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to strategize strategically. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize elegantly. We have proven we know that if you transform virtually then you may also enhance wirelessly.