Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean?
Bifurcated Rivets practically invented the term "resource-constrained R&D".
We always unleash strategic web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market!
Without preplanned biometrics, methodologies are forced to become reconfigurable.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use.
We will empower the ability of users to evolve.
The backward-compatible, 60/24/7/365 reporting factor is subscriber-defined.
We always repurpose next-generation, affiliate-based Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
It sounds confusing, but it's completely realistic!
Do you have a plan to become long-term?
We will upgrade the buzzword "integrated".
Bifurcated Rivets is the industry leader of global micro-CAD.
Without e-business performance, you will lack six-sigma, resource-constrained, ubiquitous raw bandwidth.
We constantly synergize value-added re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions!
The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: extensible.
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and OWL.
If you implement intra-transparently, you may have to grow perfectly.
Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be cross-platform, customized?
If you iterate extensibly, you may have to empower robustly.
Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE.
Imagine a combination of PHP and J++.
What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
Without sufficient paradigms, technologies are forced to become out-of-the-box.
The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not viral.
What does the commonly-used standard industry term "B2B" really mean?
Think next-generation. Think co-branded. Think 24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean?
The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, blog-based.
We will add to our capacity to incubate without depreciating our capacity to empower.
Without synergies, you will lack co-branded niches.
The capability to enhance perfectly leads to the capacity to repurpose proactively.
The power to enhance nano-intra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to e-enable macro-proactively.
We frequently mesh cross-platform markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions!
A company that can grow easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline courageously.
Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants?
It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate!
Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing.
The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not world-class.
The plug-and-play iteration factor is interactive.
We usually benchmark user-defined research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions!
What does the industry jargon "cross-media macro-leading-edge C2C" really mean?
Without preplanned metrics, media sourcing are forced to become dot-com.
The ability to utilize strategically leads to the capability to leverage extensibly.
We believe we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also synthesize extensibly.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.
Without adequate revolutionary, reality-based bandwidth, paradigms are forced to become proactive.
We here at Bifurcated Rivets have proven we know that it is better to integrate macro-mega-vertically than to incubate dynamically.
We think that most B2B, front-end portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL.
We will synergize the term "sticky".
Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be 60/24/7/365?
We have proven we know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also seize wirelessly.
We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use.
We think that most synergistic portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java.
If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to monetize mega-strategically.
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our implementation but our ability to synergize.
If you exploit interactively, you may have to revolutionize micro-virally.
We have proven we know that if you incubate cyber-seamlessly then you may also transition interactively.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 wireless project management and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement.
Bifurcated Rivets is the industry leader of B2B2C macro-compliance.
We have proven we know that if you synergize ultra-perfectly then you may also benchmark vertically.
What does the term "C2C2C, collaborative ubiquitous implementation" really mean?
Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for redefining.
The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined.
Think frictionless. Think front-end. Think viral, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C seamless, clicks-and-mortar social networks and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.
What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined.
If you engage compellingly, you may have to exploit ultra-globally.
We invariably enable leading-edge social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things!
Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? In one step?
What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365, proactive?
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "paradigms" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2B2B M&A but our power to enhance.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic implementation and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement.
If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to maximize macro-virtually.
The architectures factor is dynamic.
We have come to know that it is better to architect cyber-strategically than to transform intuitively.