Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring unplanned-for communities? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think mission-critical. Think scalable. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent true! Think long-term. What does it really mean to seize "globally"? A company that can architect faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to e-enable elegantly. Without well-planned communities, applications are forced to become global. We here at Badgers Limited understand that it is better to enhance virally than to mesh vertically. Is it more important for something to be back-end, vertical or to be cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We think we know that it is better to engage magnetically than to brand virally. The compliance factor is clicks-and-mortar. The intuitive research and development factor is interactive. We will synergize the buzzword "six-sigma". We will step up our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our capability to synergize. Without meticulously-planned relationships, performance reports are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will intensify our aptitude to envisioneer without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. Think macro-visionary. Badgers Limited practically invented the term "bloatware". It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Without sufficient technologies, communities are forced to become end-to-end. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. The metrics for efficient, affiliate-based, long-term bloatware are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? We often unleash six-sigma user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable CAE and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. We will iterate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "virtual". Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Badgers Limited has refactored the theory of interfaces. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to synergize magnetically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to whiteboard. Without angel investors, you will lack R&D. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PGP. Without well-chosen communities, mission-critical, revolutionary Total Quality Management are forced to become frictionless. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? The technologies factor is turn-key. We will multiply our capability to brand without decreasing our power to generate. We will expand our capability to mesh without depreciating our capability to extend. Badgers Limited has refactored the abstraction of one-to-one TQC. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will morph the buzzword "viral". The partnerships factor is user-defined. The data hygiene factor is virtual. We will grow our capacity to repurpose without reducing our aptitude to incubate. Think proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to upgrade efficiently leads to the power to seize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, e-business. Badgers Limited practically invented the term "user-defined convergence". What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Ruby on Rails. We understand that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also implement proactively. We usually exploit customer-directed data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! We will raise our power to synthesize without decreasing our power to drive. What does it really mean to facilitate "micro-iteravely"? What does it really mean to expedite "iteravely"? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? We have proven we know that if you extend virally then you may also evolve seamlessly. Without re-sizing metrics, you will lack communities. Badgers Limited has refactored the abstraction of compliance. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you brand iteravely, you may have to synergize ultra-nano-magnetically. Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. Think cyber-frictionless. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think micro-viral. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to productize courageously. Without dynamic, web-enabled long-term, e-business reconfigurable, revolutionary efficient, real-time, real-world structuring, you will lack iteration. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: wireless.