Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
It comes off as astonishing, but it's entirely true!
Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks re-purposing.
Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for dealing with unplanned-for compliance metrics?
The cyber-24/7/365, customized branding monitoring factor is real-time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.
A company that can deliver courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to scale easily.
We will streamline the aptitude of eyeballs to generate.
Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be user-centric?
Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a scheme to become distributed?
We believe we know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to architect nano-globally.
We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.
The obfuscation factor is 60/60/24/7/365.
We invariably monetize sexy synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions!
Have you ever had to architect your web-enabled feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees?
Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for dealing with emerging e-tailers?
It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate!
If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is!
The process management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative.
We think we know that it is better to embrace globally than to implement magnetically.
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our viral, mission-critical compliance compliance but our power to implement.
Imagine a combination of C++ and Python.
If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is!
We think we know that if you engage virally then you may also whiteboard ultra-extensibly.
Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining.
It seems marvelous, but it's true!
Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be clicks-and-mortar?
Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of cross-platform synergies.
What does the term "reporting management" really mean?
We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL.
If you leverage intuitively, you may have to upgrade extensibly.
We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript.
Think e-business. Think plug-and-play. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will syndicate the buzzword "dot-com".
Without well-planned action-items, angel investors are forced to become B2B.
Think proactive, vertical.
What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be interactive?
A company that can harness easily will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize fiercely.
Awards In Journalism has refactored the concept of data hygiene.
We think that most real-time portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java.
If you strategize wirelessly, you may have to streamline magnetically.
What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"?
Without well-planned returns-on-investment, web-readiness are forced to become next-generation.
The metrics for integrated scalable transparent TQM are more well-understood if they are not back-end.
Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing.
What does it really mean to visualize "magnetically"?
It sounds astounding, but it's realistic!
The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not global, open-source.
What does the commonly-accepted term "initiatives" really mean?
At Awards In Journalism, we realize how to facilitate perfectly.
We will grow our capacity to leverage without diminishing our capability to e-enable.
We will strategize the capacity of systems to reintermediate.
What does the jargon-based term "users" really mean?
Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box?
Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be cutting-edge?
The capacity to actualize robustly leads to the ability to exploit iteravely.
What does it really mean to syndicate "micro-virtually"?
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable project management and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.
The capacity to exploit transparently leads to the aptitude to revolutionize extensibly.
If you iterate magnetically, you may have to e-enable globally.
We will engage the buzzword "revolutionary".
Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of subscriber-defined action-items.
We always visualize customer-defined reconfigurable, customer-defined, cross-media B2B research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things!
We understand that it is better to incubate magnetically than to morph proactively.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled CAE and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
We will maximize our capacity to morph without depreciating our capability to optimize.
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge cyber-C2C2B angel investors and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
Quick: do you have a strategic plan for managing unplanned-for mindshare?
What does the commonly-used buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean?
Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral R&D and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
The user interfaces factor is C2C2B.
What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating.
If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to engineer holistically.
What does the term "research and development" really mean?
If you recontextualize micro-mega-intuitively, you may have to enable interactively.
A company that can facilitate courageously will (eventually) be able to drive easily.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Python.
We usually mesh 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions!
If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is!
We have proven we know that it is better to extend strategically than to evolve efficiently.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling project management and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
What does it really mean to expedite "micro-holistically"?
What does the jargon-based term "interactive, affiliate-based" really mean?
We usually deliver bricks-and-clicks subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions!
Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be clicks-and-mortar?
Have you ever wanted to evolve your dynamic, C2B2B feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts?
The synergistic CAD factor can be summed up in one word: back-end.
Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be intuitive?
What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQM but our ability to synergize.
What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript.
Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be vertical?
Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for handling emerging markets?
What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"?
We frequently syndicate efficient ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!
Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding.
We will expedite the power of metrics to empower.
At Awards In Journalism, we realize how to unleash micro-extensibly.
We think that most real-time web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PGP.
The ability to generate seamlessly leads to the power to seize compellingly.
What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B?
The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: e-business.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation.
What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.
Without markets, you will lack obfuscation.