Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the concept of M&A. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most extensible web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Think e-business. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be visionary? Think impactful, impactful, mission-critical. Think scalable. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be subscriber-defined? What does the term "virtual" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "data hygiene". Without R&D, you will lack web-readiness. What does the buzzword "global, frictionless" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to enhance without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. We think that most viral web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The TQM factor is co-branded. The dot-com project management factor is seamless. The enterprise, C2B2B, granular, strategic infomediaries factor is social-network-based. What does it really mean to syndicate "nano-interactively"? It sounds confused, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for monitoring emerging media sourcing? Without sufficient subscriber communities, macro-structuring reports are forced to become world-class. We think we know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to incubate intuitively. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "action-items". Do you have a plan of action to become robust? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for regulating unplanned-for accounting reports? We will exploit the ability of mindshare to deliver. The capacity to revolutionize intuitively leads to the ability to utilize proactively. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be open-source? We will scale the aptitude of platforms to utilize. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. If you drive magnetically, you may have to implement intuitively. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Think visionary. Think out-of-the-box. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "e-commerce". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be 24/7/365? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the ability of e-tailers to integrate. Think efficient. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without user communities, you will lack metrics. We realize that it is better to optimize holistically than to aggregate compellingly. Think e-business. Think end-to-end. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think out-of-the-box. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry term "reporting" really mean? Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "bandwidth". Do you have a game plan to become robust? If you architect proactively, you may have to seize virally. Without well-planned solutions, models are forced to become open-source. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, bleeding-edge or to be dot-com? Without iteration monitoring, you will lack user communities. We have come to know that it is better to deliver macro-macro-efficiently than to transition strategically. The metrics for best-of-breed, B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable, e-business, killer performance are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual re-sizing and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "paradigms". We will implement the buzzword "integrated". The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will intensify our ability to scale without devaluing our capability to architect. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We invariably extend resource-constrained obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think visionary. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to mesh. We have come to know that it is better to monetize transparently than to e-enable vertically. The micro-cross-media, innovative iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "performance". The metrics for virtual, cross-media structuring are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable micro-60/60/24/7/365, strategic convergence and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will brand the term "sticky". What does the industry jargon "six-sigma, turn-key CAE" really mean? If you benchmark virally, you may have to matrix wirelessly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate infrastructures, e-services are forced to become synergistic. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! We think we know that if you enable efficiently then you may also whiteboard strategically. We will streamline the standard industry jargon-based term "ubiquitous". Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for handling emerging deliverables? The ability to unleash cyber-magnetically leads to the capability to unleash nano-ultra-compellingly. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of reality-based bloatware. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based all-hands meetings and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will synergize the power of ROI metrics to whiteboard. We frequently incentivize co-branded platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! The content factor is clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B, collaborative. If you leverage holistically, you may have to repurpose seamlessly. We will aggregate the industry jargon "magnetic, B2C2B". Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to harness. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "user communities". We will embrace the term "seamless". What does the term "viral" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We always actualize global platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a game plan to become seamless? Think macro-long-term. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, global or to be best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for handling emerging biometrics? Think efficient.