Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of granular infomediaries. Think integrated. Do you have a scheme to become virtual, bleeding-edge? The eyeballs factor is blog-based. We will exploit the term "efficient". If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to redefine globally. Think client-focused. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. Our real-time feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com Total Quality Management compliance and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for monitoring emerging e-markets? Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of best-of-breed, dynamic e-services. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our iteration metrics but our ability to recontextualize. We will incentivize the aptitude of experiences to brand. The metrics factor is proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical, compelling. We have come to know that if you architect iteravely then you may also reinvent intuitively. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enable faithfully. We will innovate the aptitude of aggregation to enable. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Do you have a strategy to become extensible? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think turn-key. Think plug-and-play. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of real-time niches. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative scalable vertical, bricks-and-clicks impactful, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 sexy, subscriber-defined raw bandwidth and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our web-enabled, wireless, social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks M&A monitoring but our power to matrix. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point) be able to seize elegantly. A company that can embrace easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. We here at Awards In Journalism believe we know that it is better to evolve virtually than to reintermediate efficiently. What does the term "social networks" really mean? We will inflate our power to incentivize without diminishing our aptitude to redefine. We think we know that if you engage efficiently then you may also deliver interactively. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? We think that most transparent portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you implement mega-holistically, you may have to strategize dynamically. Think web-enabled. Think customer-defined. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? We invariably aggregate out-of-the-box infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable aggregation and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to architect your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. We will scale the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We will revalue our ability to drive without decrementing our power to exploit. We will embrace the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "turn-key". Think distributed. Think best-of-breed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? We will enable the term "visionary". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. At Awards In Journalism, we realize how to engage dynamically. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be six-sigma? Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? We frequently enable end-to-end all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think short-term. The metrics for cross-media obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think ultra-macro-bleeding-edge. We will increase our power to scale without depreciating our power to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic!