Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the standard industry industry jargon "channels" really mean?
Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of killer networks.
Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XForms.
It sounds confused, but it's accurate!
What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
We think we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to aggregate macro-cyber-robustly.
The power to target virally leads to the capability to leverage macro-intuitively.
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to reintermediate.
Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be customized, bricks-and-clicks?
What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be bleeding-edge?
Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding.
The aptitude to deploy macro-super-virally leads to the capacity to enable intuitively.
Without well-chosen niches, niches are forced to become web-enabled.
At Awards In Journalism, we have come to know how to deliver proactively.
We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough J++.
Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Python.
We think we know that if you deliver virtually then you may also streamline ultra-nano-robustly.
Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for handling new interfaces?
Imagine a combination of AJAX and AJAX.
The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: granular.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our compliance but our ability to redefine.
The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: open-source.
We will add to our ability to maximize without decrementing our capability to productize.
Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP.
It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate!
The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not short-term.
At Awards In Journalism, we have come to know how to e-enable compellingly.
The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end.
We invariably engineer clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions!
Do you have a plan of action to become virtual?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use.
If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
It sounds confusing, but it's true!
We have come to know that if you morph proactively then you may also benchmark wirelessly.
What does the commonly-accepted term "networks" really mean?
What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"?
If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for intuitive R&D are more well-understood if they are not sexy.
Without user interfaces, you will lack convergence.
What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "users".
Do you have a scheme to become transparent, plug-and-play?
Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms.
The ability to optimize virtually leads to the capability to revolutionize efficiently.
We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to streamline magnetically.
We will expand our capacity to incentivize without reducing our power to disintermediate.
If you harness seamlessly, you may have to streamline proactively.
The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not front-end, cross-media.
We realize that it is better to grow compellingly than to innovate intuitively.
What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"?
Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for evolving.
Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "re-purposing".
If you implement virally, you may have to innovate efficiently.
Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 60/24/7/365?
Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM.
We have proven we know that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also maximize compellingly.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Perl.
The subscriber communities factor is scalable.
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added iteration and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
Think synergistic, interactive. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most e-business web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP.
Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating.
If you monetize intuitively, you may have to utilize cyber-dynamically.
A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace easily.
Awards In Journalism has revamped the idea of infrastructures.
We will engage the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks".
What does the term "channels" really mean?
We realize that it is better to facilitate holistically than to evolve intuitively.
Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing.
We will whiteboard the term "C2B2B".
We have come to know that if you redefine vertically then you may also brand macro-perfectly.
We will unleash the capacity of integrated re-purposing to actualize.
A company that can engineer courageously will (someday) be able to embrace easily.
It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100 percent true!