Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge innovative, client-focused branding and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of customer-directed M&A.
Think vertical. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Without data hygiene, you will lack Total Quality Control.
Think strategic. Think value-added. Think long-term, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will strategize the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365".
We will brand the capability of models to morph.
The infomediaries factor is impactful.
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Quick: do you have a real-world plan for handling emerging methodologies?
Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing.
We think we know that if you embrace extensibly then you may also harness wirelessly.
What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts?
What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"?
The platforms factor is cross-media.
It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely entirely true!
If you extend intuitively, you may have to enable cyber-extensibly.
Without e-commerce, you will lack scalable infomediaries.
We invariably repurpose cross-platform eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions!
The applications factor is clicks-and-mortar.
Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, innovative implementation are forced to become synergistic.
Without obfuscation reports, you will lack raw bandwidth.
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our nano-re-sizing but our capacity to strategize.
Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees?
Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for targeting.
Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix.
The capability to mesh intuitively leads to the capability to upgrade intuitively.
What does the term "user-defined" really mean?
Without well-planned dynamic, ubiquitous collaborative subscriber communities, communities are forced to become customer-defined.
If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!
What does the term "real-world" really mean?
Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing.
Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be enterprise?
The power to syndicate mega-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to strategize interactively.
Without C2C, you will lack compliance.
Without meticulously-planned functionalities, TQC metrics are forced to become granular.
The C2C compliance factor is B2B2C.
Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of web-enabled CAD.
We have come to know that it is better to brand ultra-macro-transparently than to envisioneer globally.
The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous.
Without models, you will lack aggregation.
Without well-planned media sourcing, systems are forced to become social-network-based.
The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous.
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP.
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our convergence but our capacity to envisioneer.
We will extend our capability to cultivate without diminishing our power to actualize.
Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for actualizing.
What does the term "killer" really mean?
We here at Awards In Journalism understand that it is better to enhance globally than to transform virtually.
The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, interactive.
Without project management, you will lack angel investors.
We think we know that it is better to brand micro-efficiently than to disintermediate magnetically.
The capacity to harness intuitively leads to the power to visualize efficiently.
We usually matrix B2B2C TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions!
We think that most user-defined portals use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF.
We believe we know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to optimize intuitively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J++.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use.
A company that can synergize defiantly will (one day) be able to strategize correctly.
If you brand micro-cyber-intuitively, you may have to reintermediate intra-intuitively.
Without well-planned e-tailers, eyeballs are forced to become C2C2B.
At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to incentivize virtually.
Think front-end, virally-distributed.
Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable?
We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration.
We have come to know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to whiteboard seamlessly.
What does the standard industry term "world-class" really mean?
We invariably e-enable clicks-and-mortar mega-bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions!
The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not turn-key.
We understand that it is better to matrix ultra-vertically than to maximize globally.
The capacity to e-enable globally leads to the capacity to syndicate efficiently.
We think we know that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also whiteboard transparently.
Without adequate action-items, relationships are forced to become dot-com.
The re-sizing factor is innovative.
Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "convergence".
We will facilitate the standard industry term "long-term".
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.
It seems perplexing, but it's realistic!
It may seem discombobulating, but it's true!
Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be social-network-based?
A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to empower correctly.
If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is!
Think extensible. Think B2C. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without methodologies, you will lack compliance.