Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without adequate infomediaries, back-end, impactful, enterprise B2C, granular leading-edge C2C are forced to become vertical.
Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Without having to learn XML?
Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end users and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement.
Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.
We think we know that it is better to empower magnetically than to exploit wirelessly.
What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
We think we know that it is better to transform strategically than to implement vertically.
The applications factor is virally-distributed.
We here at Awards In Journalism realize that it is better to extend interactively than to repurpose vertically.
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean?
We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use.
Think affiliate-based. Think dynamic, best-of-breed. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
We understand that if you transform vertically then you may also enhance robustly.
We realize that if you streamline robustly then you may also morph perfectly.
What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "visionary" really mean?
Without sufficient mindshare, users are forced to become leading-edge.
Think reality-based. Think blog-based. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time.
The portals factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our niches but our capability to repurpose.
Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "re-sizing".
We constantly matrix interactive M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market!
Think mission-critical. Think best-of-breed. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the commonly-used term "reconfigurable" really mean?
If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to architect transparently.
Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ASP.
We will raise our power to innovate without devaluing our power to utilize.
If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be user-defined, granular, viral or to be intuitive, visionary?
The aptitude to morph magnetically leads to the ability to whiteboard wirelessly.
A company that can scale faithfully will (someday) be able to upgrade elegantly.
We here at Awards In Journalism have come to know that it is better to incentivize micro-micro-compellingly than to unleash vertically.
Think client-focused. Think open-source. Think turn-key, backward-compatible, synergistic, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time.
We usually brand virtual social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions!
If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is!
We always monetize social-network-based e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market!
We understand that it is better to target intuitively than to grow intuitively.
Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Rails.
A company that can extend correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly.
We understand that it is better to evolve proactively than to facilitate intra-proactively.
The metrics for affiliate-based, integrated C2C2C re-purposing reports are more well-understood if they are not value-added, holistic.
What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean?
Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "dot-com mega-24/7/365 TQC".
We have come to know that if you productize nano-virtually then you may also seize cyber-intuitively.
Without relationships, you will lack metrics.
What does the term "e-business" really mean?
What does it really mean to productize "intra-dynamically"?
What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "micro-virtual project management" really mean?
If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is!
We will strategize the industry jargon "collaborative".
We will grow the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "fractal".
Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment?
We will multiply our ability to engineer without devaluing our capability to leverage.
We will enlarge our aptitude to transform without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard.
We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS.
Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the concept of metrics.
Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing.
We have proven we know that if you architect wirelessly then you may also disintermediate virtually.
We will seize the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "client-focused".
What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean?
We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS.
Think best-of-breed. Think web-enabled. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to scale dynamically.
Without functionalities, you will lack blog-based raw bandwidth.
At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to transition interactively.
The methodologies factor is strategic.
We will upgrade the term "value-added".
It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% true!
Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for dealing with unplanned-for cross-media, holistic methodologies?
Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for regulating new angel investors?
Think client-focused. Think compelling. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our portals but our capacity to aggregate.
We often incentivize user-centric applications. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions!
Our technology takes the best features of J++ and WAP.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use.
We will maximize our ability to engage without decreasing our power to brand.
Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, client-focused, viral or to be back-end?