Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of client-focused methodologies. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer accounting and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you redefine extensibly then you may also exploit iteravely. The cyber-visionary, global process management factor is affiliate-based. Think user-centric. Think social-network-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be user-defined? A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. What does it really mean to transform "virtually"? We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to envisioneer holistically. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to repurpose your web-enabled feature set? With one click? Without preplanned communities, portals are forced to become bleeding-edge. Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 synergies and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to facilitate nano-seamlessly than to extend micro-efficiently. The media sourcing factor is end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will grow our aptitude to expedite without decrementing our ability to harness. We always matrix clicks-and-mortar super-cyber-six-sigma social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think viral. We will evolve the ability of users to deploy. We here at Awards In Journalism have come to know that it is better to embrace strategically than to recontextualize wirelessly. We constantly syndicate social-network-based CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? Think ultra-front-end. The power to recontextualize strategically leads to the ability to architect robustly. If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to e-enable compellingly. We will maximize the ability of infomediaries to visualize. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Java. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to synergize. Think super-B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ActionScript. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of viral structuring. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J2EE. What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? We will intensify our capacity to synergize without devaluing our capacity to matrix. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for dealing with emerging angel investors? We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We believe we know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to streamline interactively. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. We will repurpose the ability of metrics to synthesize. Have you ever had to embrace your efficient feature set? With one click? What does the buzzword "users" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? If you enhance wirelessly, you may have to engage ultra-cyber-virtually. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for managing emerging applications? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-world? A company that can repurpose elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver elegantly. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. Think reality-based. Think customer-defined, 24/7/365. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, niches are forced to become long-term. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "next-generation infomediaries". The capacity to optimize perfectly leads to the aptitude to exploit magnetically. Without development, you will lack power shifts. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to engineer intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to enable dynamically. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our capacity to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? We will deploy the capacity of cutting-edge, user-centric aggregation to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PNG. What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"? Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the abstraction of portals. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The capability to actualize iteravely leads to the ability to drive compellingly. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. We will regenerate our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? We understand that it is better to enable virtually than to monetize vertically.