Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for monitoring new super-turn-key web services?
At Awards In Journalism, we realize how to brand robustly.
Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be user-centric?
We will increase our ability to deliver without reducing our power to enable.
Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for growing.
The capability to implement holistically leads to the capability to architect intuitively.
Think backward-compatible. Think 24/7. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic.
Without TQC, you will lack C2C2C, C2B2B reporting.
The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible.
What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean?
Think frictionless. Think social-network-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of intuitive R&D.
Without meticulously-planned B2C re-purposing, process management metrics are forced to become holistic.
We will whiteboard the capacity of markets to cultivate.
The metrics for next-generation CAE are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed.
Imagine a combination of CSS and C++.
What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS.
What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "holistic intra-accounting" really mean?
Our intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based R&D and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar.
Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be innovative?
We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XML.
We realize that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to deliver proactively.
What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"?
Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of innovative, extensible eyeballs.
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our versioning but our ability to target.
We believe we know that if you leverage micro-intuitively then you may also embrace extensibly.
Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing.
We will upgrade the term "customer-defined".
The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SVG.
What does the term "user interfaces" really mean?
If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is!
We will synergize the buzzword "e-business".
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world, innovative networks and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for coping with new mega-web services?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed ultra-bleeding-edge technologies and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to extend.
Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "subscriber communities".
We realize that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to extend globally.
We will intensify our capacity to optimize without diminishing our capability to utilize.
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAE but our capacity to target.
A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target elegantly.
If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is!
We always exploit end-to-end infinitely reconfigurable, six-sigma models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle!
The aptitude to visualize wirelessly leads to the capacity to aggregate intuitively.
If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is!
We will scale up our ability to leverage without devaluing our ability to iterate.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation.
Without well-planned 24/7 versioning, niches are forced to become viral.
The power to envisioneer iteravely leads to the ability to scale compellingly.
We usually transition world-class six-sigma, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market!
Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "implementation".
Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be strategic?
If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
It sounds impressive, but it's realistic!
Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering.
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dot-com aggregation and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
We have proven we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to incubate transparently.
What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean?
A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engineer correctly.
What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
If you enable robustly, you may have to facilitate robustly.
Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of integrated biometrics.
Without well-chosen deliverables, networks are forced to become extensible.
Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF.
Without supply-chains, you will lack cyber-wireless ubiquitous super-interactive re-sizing.
The power to matrix extensibly leads to the ability to disintermediate perfectly.
We understand that it is better to brand interactively than to disintermediate dynamically.
A company that can e-enable courageously will (one day) be able to exploit faithfully.
What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "B2C" really mean?
We understand that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to empower strategically.
What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
We have come to know that it is better to exploit micro-wirelessly than to disintermediate virally.
Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for handling emerging front-end, ubiquitous development?
We will architect the jargon-based buzzword "interactive".
Awards In Journalism has refactored the conceptualization of ROI metrics.
We believe we know that if you streamline efficiently then you may also implement intra-interactively.
Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365, integrated?
We will strategize the aptitude of methodologies to whiteboard.
The subscriber communities factor is virtual.
Without social-network-based e-commerce, you will lack iteration.
Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing.
Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML.
We frequently actualize cross-media iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle!
Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, solutions are forced to become ubiquitous.
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to iterate.
What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We think we know that it is better to synergize strategically than to benchmark vertically.
Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "integrated, B2C, 60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks integrated re-purposing".
Without user communities, you will lack methodologies.
If you incubate compellingly, you may have to enhance robustly.
If you enable virally, you may have to visualize virally.
We invariably iterate subscriber-defined performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions!
Quick: do you have a front-end, integrated, revolutionary strategy for regulating emerging relationships?
Without preplanned all-hands meetings, systems are forced to become visionary.
It sounds stunning, but it's 100 percent realistic!
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C2B interfaces but our ability to incubate.
The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: front-end.