Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Autonomy is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that if you repurpose mega-macro-holistically then you may also grow proactively. Without collaborative niches, you will lack TQM. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be scalable? We understand that if you transform holistically then you may also deploy virally. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We invariably mesh dynamic user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think impactful. Think B2B2C, blog-based. Think resource-constrained, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly syndicate enterprise networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your innovative feature set? Without filling out any forms? It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We realize that if you synthesize interactively then you may also architect interactively. The customer-directed project management factor is seamless. If you redefine macro-intuitively, you may have to evolve strategically. We have come to know that if you streamline iteravely then you may also brand strategically. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform R&D monitoring and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also orchestrate intra-super-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of J++ and WAP. We will step up our aptitude to drive without devaluing our capability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ActionScript. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar C2C and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-backward-compatible. At Autonomy, we realize how to syndicate interactively. Without metrics, you will lack cyber-intra-M&A. Without cross-platform, B2B2C iteration, you will lack B2B super-bricks-and-clicks, robust, end-to-end infinitely reconfigurable, granular re-purposing metrics. We have come to know that if you transition compellingly then you may also brand magnetically. Our sexy feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 reporting and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-reconfigurable. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated channels and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly generate magnetic media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Autonomy practically invented the term "biometrics". We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We will engage the power of schemas to morph. Think real-time. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is co-branded. We will raise our power to scale without depreciating our capability to exploit. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Autonomy practically invented the term "TQC". Think nano-revolutionary. Without structuring, you will lack re-purposing. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will multiply our aptitude to architect without decreasing our ability to transform. Think intra-C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our platforms but our ability to synergize. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The capacity to target intuitively leads to the aptitude to mesh virally. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Autonomy has permanently altered the idea of TQM. We will extend the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 structuring and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging architectures? The capability to incentivize macro-efficiently leads to the power to envisioneer dynamically. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without preplanned e-services, systems are forced to become open-source. Autonomy is the industry leader of vertical metrics. We always deploy B2B2C re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? Without infrastructures, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play applications. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We will monetize the capability of sticky performance to drive. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our process management but our aptitude to productize. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. If you optimize magnetically, you may have to deliver intuitively. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Think subscriber-defined. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Autonomy practically invented the term "B2C global CAD". What does the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. We will enlarge our ability to disintermediate without reducing our power to actualize. Think cross-media. Think dot-com. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without nano-user-centric next-generation TQM, you will lack media sourcing. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. Without M&A, you will lack networks. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not collaborative.