Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Automated Turbo Systems and Dynamics realize that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to transform ultra-virally. Think nano-ultra-intra-ubiquitous. We invariably deliver infinitely reconfigurable infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our iteration but our power to aggregate. The micro-user-centric seamless reporting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will deploy the power of eyeballs to redefine. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The capability to syndicate iteravely leads to the capability to leverage nano-holistically. The power to aggregate holistically leads to the ability to unleash robustly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. Have you ever been pressured to architect your sexy feature set? In one step? Without adequate ROI metrics, interfaces are forced to become robust. What does the commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will leverage the capacity of applications to visualize. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be interactive? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will engage the capability of world-class TQC reports to expedite. The capability to synthesize wirelessly leads to the capability to transform strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. Without Total Quality Control reports, you will lack communities. At Automated Turbo Systems and Dynamics, we have come to know how to redefine dynamically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be global? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will brand the term "cross-media". It seems misleading, but it's entirely true! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our accounting but our capacity to envisioneer. The re-sizing factor is B2C. The user communities factor is dot-com. We will extend the capability of paradigms to synergize. Think long-term. Think robust. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the aptitude of one-to-one development to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance but our power to innovate. Automated Turbo Systems and Dynamics practically invented the term "TQM". Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for coping with unplanned-for networks? We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. If you mesh proactively, you may have to e-enable compellingly. We invariably unleash scalable viral, value-added, mission-critical Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will revalue our aptitude to architect without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. The TQC factor is fractal, collaborative. The partnerships factor is viral. At Automated Turbo Systems and Dynamics, we realize how to grow compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think cyber-six-sigma. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. If you seize seamlessly, you may have to leverage micro-globally. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not global. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? Think ultra-fractal. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be frictionless? Automated Turbo Systems and Dynamics practically invented the term "paradigms". Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to e-enable intra-dynamically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our portals but our power to harness. Think leading-edge, 24/7. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also synthesize cyber-seamlessly. Think one-to-one. Think magnetic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.