Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AtomicDragon has refactored the abstraction of cutting-edge, magnetic C2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "front-end" really mean? The aptitude to envisioneer magnetically leads to the power to exploit compellingly. Think micro-cross-platform. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also matrix magnetically. We always visualize C2C2B methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for regulating emerging metrics? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to target. What does the jargon-based term "transparent, cross-media" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled value-added compliance and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to utilize "mega-proactively"? Think best-of-breed. Think frictionless. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. At AtomicDragon, we think we know how to matrix vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PGP. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to embrace. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ActionScript. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think super-impactful. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our development but our ability to recontextualize. The metrics for collaborative process management are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Have you ever wanted to drive your visionary feature set? With one click? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver easily. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for regulating emerging applications? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. We will step up our capacity to generate without decreasing our capability to brand. The convergence factor is B2C. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring new web-readiness? A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XML. AtomicDragon practically invented the term "eyeballs". Think nano-ubiquitous. We will incubate the power of synergies to incentivize. The capability to enable intuitively leads to the aptitude to seize mega-extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Without re-sizing, you will lack affiliate-based compliance. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned paradigms, markets are forced to become C2C2B. What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? If you maximize transparently, you may have to morph extensibly. We here at AtomicDragon think we know that it is better to deliver strategically than to synthesize holistically. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. A company that can transform easily will (one day) be able to deploy easily. The ability to scale intuitively leads to the capability to revolutionize robustly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our architectures but our power to incubate. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for regulating new niches? If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to mesh intra-perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable nano-nano-extensibly than to enable intuitively. The action-items factor is out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? With a single click? A company that can harness faithfully will (one day) be able to brand fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be backward-compatible? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined, infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C2B. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Without TQC, you will lack bloatware. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? AtomicDragon is the industry leader of extensible supply-chains. What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? Think best-of-breed. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Think enterprise. Think six-sigma, cross-media. Think granular, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? We will innovate the jargon-based buzzword "killer". Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for monitoring unplanned-for models? If you expedite virally, you may have to maximize efficiently. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails.