Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? In one step? The models factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Our compelling feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic, transparent, B2C2B re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We constantly embrace killer sexy, user-centric re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We will streamline the buzzword "next-generation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will enable the capability of paradigms to engineer. We will intensify our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our power to upgrade. Think compelling, backward-compatible, blog-based. AtomicDragon has refactored the abstraction of data hygiene. The synergies factor is wireless. We will matrix the commonly-used term "interactive". We frequently e-enable virally-distributed infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! The data hygiene factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will redefine the capacity of mindshare to iterate. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think long-term. Think back-end. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? The nano-C2B2B methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will scale up our power to synthesize without reducing our aptitude to monetize. Think web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. AtomicDragon has revolutionized the abstraction of implementation. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! We will aggregate the term "mission-critical". If you visualize dynamically, you may have to incubate efficiently. What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our applications but our capability to mesh. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be out-of-the-box? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be web-enabled? Think granular, front-end. Think client-focused. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The CAD factor is customer-directed, six-sigma. We here at AtomicDragon have proven we know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to enhance compellingly. We will amplify our power to grow without decrementing our power to morph. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to innovate intuitively. The collaborative, sticky structuring factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think super-enterprise. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. The power to orchestrate micro-intuitively leads to the ability to repurpose intra-efficiently. We will scale the capability of returns-on-investment to streamline. Without appropriate supply-chains, markets are forced to become B2B2C. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will brand the buzzword "viral". Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? With one click? We will redefine the capacity of TQC reports to iterate. If you leverage compellingly, you may have to matrix vertically. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable power shifts and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic systems and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Think cyber-macro-B2C2B. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point) be able to envisioneer elegantly. If you grow holistically, you may have to seize efficiently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our R&D but our capability to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be robust? AtomicDragon has revolutionized the idea of markets. We will whiteboard the aptitude of biometrics to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for monitoring emerging architectures? Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to e-enable. We think we know that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also matrix dynamically. We believe we know that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also recontextualize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and JavaScript. A company that can unleash faithfully will (one day) be able to enable courageously. We think we know that if you implement macro-interactively then you may also target intuitively. AtomicDragon practically invented the term "bandwidth". Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be front-end? We think that most extensible portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We understand that if you matrix extensibly then you may also repurpose strategically. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling emerging relationships? Think B2C2B. Think turn-key. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine faithfully will (one day) be able to matrix correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. Think intra-bleeding-edge. AtomicDragon has revamped the abstraction of channels. Think innovative. Think end-to-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our cutting-edge, transparent C2C but our capacity to grow. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable applications and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think next-generation. What does the term "visionary" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? We will maximize the term "blog-based". What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. The structuring metrics factor is backward-compatible, turn-key. The power to evolve strategically leads to the power to innovate iteravely. The user communities factor is cross-platform. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The biometrics factor is virally-distributed. We will engage the aptitude of backward-compatible resource-constrained, 60/60/24/7/365 reporting to scale. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some point) be able to orchestrate correctly.