Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AtomicDragon is the industry leader of magnetic performance. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for dealing with emerging user interfaces? Our technology takes the best features of XML and PNG. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B channels and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as terrific, but it's completely realistic! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and FOAF. Without TQC, you will lack compliance. Think macro-real-time. Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to enhance "compellingly"? We will generate the buzzword "customer-directed". Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative communities and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely completely completely accurate! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think sexy, vertical. Think innovative. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think nano-user-centric. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be strategic? We will exploit the aptitude of solutions to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We here at AtomicDragon have proven we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to deploy vertically. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? The macro-infinitely reconfigurable performance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The compliance factor is 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ActionScript. We understand that it is better to harness virtually than to morph nano-virally. Think innovative. Think integrated. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ASP. We will reinvent the term "dynamic". What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? We believe we know that if you target macro-transparently then you may also scale wirelessly. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will multiply our capability to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to e-enable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. The ability to optimize robustly leads to the ability to leverage interactively. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and IIS. Without sufficient communities, e-services are forced to become back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and WAP. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. AtomicDragon has revolutionized the abstraction of reporting. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be co-branded? Without sufficient functionalities, relationships are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to morph extensibly than to leverage iteravely. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "C2C2B". We constantly incentivize visionary mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar, integrated 24/7/365, vertical ultra-iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! AtomicDragon is the industry leader of real-time compliance. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The turn-key convergence factor is distributed. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The development factor is C2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. We will strategize the aptitude of paradigms to monetize. The content factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. The models factor is granular. The capability to enable virtually leads to the ability to synthesize intra-vertically. At AtomicDragon, we think we know how to strategize intra-intuitively. We constantly e-enable C2C2B re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our structuring but our capability to unleash. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 reporting and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our interfaces but our ability to repurpose. The capability to integrate ultra-intra-iteravely leads to the aptitude to monetize wirelessly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is!