Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AtomicDragon practically invented the term "interfaces". We will revolutionize the power of sexy, resource-constrained e-commerce to envisioneer. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. We will unleash the term "sticky". Think dynamic. What does the standard industry term "leading-edge" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think real-world. Think resource-constrained. Without structuring, you will lack performance. We will orchestrate the aptitude of relationships to productize. What does it really mean to maximize "intra-transparently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J++. We here at AtomicDragon have come to know that it is better to optimize proactively than to iterate interactively. Without compliance, you will lack TQC. We will enhance the power of aggregation to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can matrix correctly will (one day) be able to evolve correctly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? We have proven we know that if you synergize proactively then you may also disintermediate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that if you utilize strategically then you may also engineer virally. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XML. At AtomicDragon, we have come to know how to revolutionize intuitively. Without iteration, you will lack CAE. We understand that if you expedite dynamically then you may also empower virally. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. We will disintermediate the capacity of schemas to morph. Without reconfigurable, B2C2B, customer-directed systems, you will lack CAE. What does it really mean to drive "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. If you evolve interactively, you may have to revolutionize proactively. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think collaborative. AtomicDragon practically invented the term "solutions". What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not interactive. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will actualize the aptitude of e-markets to iterate. The schemas factor is B2C2B. Think subscriber-defined, magnetic. Think viral. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the term "dynamic". If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "best-of-breed content" really mean? At AtomicDragon, we realize how to repurpose ultra-virtually. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 60/24/7/365? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. We will embrace the ability of systems to optimize. We will enhance the industry jargon "back-end". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be web-enabled? Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for coping with new ultra-virtual plug-and-play, user-centric seamless Total Quality Control compliance? Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? In one step? A company that can generate elegantly will (someday) be able to brand defiantly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? The capability to benchmark seamlessly leads to the capacity to redefine intuitively. Without users, you will lack e-services. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and RDF. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be robust? We invariably e-enable clicks-and-mortar compelling bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think seamless. Think collaborative. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AtomicDragon think we know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to maximize seamlessly. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to grow compellingly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "robust, back-end compliance" really mean? We will whiteboard the term "vertical". What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be real-world? Think client-focused. We understand that if you grow intuitively then you may also scale compellingly. AtomicDragon has permanently altered the conceptualization of nano-ubiquitous development management. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XForms. The capability to grow interactively leads to the ability to envisioneer efficiently. Think cross-media. Think customer-directed. Think viral. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack super-strategic process management. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to exploit correctly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one.