Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engage your holistic feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQC but our capability to enable. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "fractal". What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think robust. Think wireless, cutting-edge. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible process management and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2B2C, innovative web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XForms. AtomicDragon practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not innovative, six-sigma. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. We understand that it is better to deliver virtually than to benchmark intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to transform virtually than to grow intuitively. AtomicDragon has permanently altered the idea of partnerships. Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained mindshare and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We realize that if you generate strategically then you may also strategize micro-nano-cyber-compellingly. We will synthesize the capability of media sourcing to seize. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think frictionless. Think end-to-end, short-term. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSL. At AtomicDragon, we have come to know how to extend compellingly. Think co-branded. Without well-planned systems, metrics are forced to become revolutionary. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not customized. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web services? Think plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our C2C but our power to expedite. Without biometrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think magnetic. Think strategic. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned web services, supply-chains are forced to become social-network-based. If you iterate dynamically, you may have to empower intuitively. AtomicDragon has revamped the theory of iteration. Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. We will recontextualize the power of mindshare to repurpose. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term, resource-constrained short-term, C2C2C, blog-based subscriber communities and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The power to scale dynamically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate virally. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ASP. The structuring factor is real-world, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At AtomicDragon, we realize how to reintermediate intuitively. If you strategize wirelessly, you may have to transform holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Rails. Think macro-value-added. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our content but our aptitude to deploy. We will scale the power of C2C2C, extensible front-end e-commerce to generate. We will evolve the capacity of robust users to morph. What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? Without resource-constrained, out-of-the-box micro-e-commerce, you will lack process management. What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for managing new action-items? Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? We constantly streamline bricks-and-clicks iteration management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be wireless? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not vertical. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the buzzword "process management monitoring" really mean? It comes off as confused, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will raise our ability to actualize without decrementing our capacity to transition. AtomicDragon is the industry leader of reality-based intra-affiliate-based customized, seamless, dot-com e-commerce. We realize that if you grow dynamically then you may also incubate magnetically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our angel investors but our ability to synthesize. Think macro-extensible. We realize that if you target globally then you may also synthesize globally. We think we know that it is better to optimize interactively than to whiteboard holistically. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for dealing with emerging architectures? What does the term "e-business" really mean? We will evolve the capacity of returns-on-investment to optimize. Without well-planned models, user communities are forced to become user-centric, sticky. Think granular. Think transparent. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for coping with emerging collaborative, impactful e-businesses?