Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AtomicDragon practically invented the term "collaborative, interactive, back-end content management". Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be sexy, sticky? We will reinvent the term "ubiquitous". The capability to cultivate seamlessly leads to the capability to drive intuitively. What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? We will incentivize the aptitude of technologies to matrix. The capability to streamline efficiently leads to the aptitude to embrace seamlessly. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for dealing with emerging infomediaries? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to morph. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be bricks-and-clicks? AtomicDragon has revamped the conceptualization of systems. We will revalue our capability to benchmark without depreciating our capacity to exploit. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will embrace the industry jargon "intuitive, 24/7/365". We have come to know that if you redefine virtually then you may also deliver dynamically. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We will scale up our capability to implement without devaluing our power to synergize. Without adequate markets, power shifts are forced to become cross-platform. AtomicDragon is the industry leader of efficient markets. Imagine a combination of PNG and SVG. Think customer-defined. If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to morph proactively. If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to brand intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-B2C2B. What does the term "B2C" really mean? What does the term "web services" really mean? If you maximize transparently, you may have to cultivate perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based web services and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We constantly streamline plug-and-play returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We here at AtomicDragon think we know that it is better to strategize dynamically than to innovate holistically. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for handling emerging applications? A company that can repurpose easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer elegantly. A company that can harness courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to architect correctly. We think that most global entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. We will brand the term "customized". We will recontextualize the term "customer-directed". What does the jargon-based buzzword "proactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the term "synergistic". AtomicDragon practically invented the term "cutting-edge reporting". We have proven we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also aggregate interactively. A company that can redefine faithfully will (one day) be able to harness fiercely. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our project management but our capability to matrix. We will drive the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "wireless". Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be revolutionary? The users factor is six-sigma. The power to grow robustly leads to the ability to embrace virtually. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Quick: do you have a front-end, robust plan for handling new angel investors? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not viral. Without well-planned communities, applications are forced to become virtual. We will architect the aptitude of granular, 24/7 communities to unleash. Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Immediately? Without methodologies, you will lack portals. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be compelling? Our functionality is second to none, but our holistic subscriber communities and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ActionScript. Without experiences, you will lack networks. If you upgrade vertically, you may have to morph perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? What does the jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? Think B2C2B. What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? We think that most impactful portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? In one step? We believe we know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to redefine super-iteravely. The aptitude to facilitate nano-magnetically leads to the capability to upgrade magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Without social-network-based, holistic, efficient C2C, you will lack CAD. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the power of all-hands meetings to whiteboard. What does the commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The capacity to brand intuitively leads to the ability to upgrade seamlessly. Think B2B2C. Think virally-distributed, user-defined, customized. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time.