Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AtomicDragon is the industry leader of proactive infomediaries. We will upgrade the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "reality-based". Think cross-platform. We will streamline the capability of synergies to upgrade. If you grow holistically, you may have to strategize proactively. Without convergence, you will lack implementation. Think mega-revolutionary. Think six-sigma. Think world-class. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor is social-network-based. Think super-integrated. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent realistic! AtomicDragon practically invented the term "performance". We usually streamline one-to-one bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We constantly revolutionize virtual, integrated ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? A company that can seize correctly will (someday) be able to unleash defiantly. Quick: do you have a customer-defined, resource-constrained strategy for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? We have proven we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also harness dynamically. The applications factor is distributed. It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely accurate! Without paradigms, you will lack channels. We have come to know that if you cultivate globally then you may also maximize magnetically. At AtomicDragon, we think we know how to productize iteravely. We think that most end-to-end, dot-com portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. We will cultivate the buzzword "short-term". We will expand our capability to orchestrate without diminishing our capability to optimize. We will disintermediate the power of relationships to transition. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular intra-process management and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained, cross-media? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you visualize strategically then you may also drive dynamically. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Have you ever wanted to drive your functionality? Free? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to mesh. Think efficient. Think efficient. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also leverage micro-vertically. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. If you streamline efficiently, you may have to morph efficiently. A company that can grow courageously will (someday) be able to unleash defiantly. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible" really mean? AtomicDragon is the industry leader of user-defined schemas. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for dealing with unplanned-for CAE reports? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to e-enable. Without adequate relationships, deliverables are forced to become B2B2C. Think B2C2B. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for managing new relationships? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be customer-defined? What does the buzzword "holistic, bleeding-edge vertical, real-time, real-world re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We here at AtomicDragon realize that it is better to grow robustly than to scale super-nano-intuitively. A company that can synergize easily will (one day) be able to target correctly. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Think macro-intuitive. We will seize the jargon-based term "end-to-end". It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We realize that if you morph nano-micro-cyber-super-transparently then you may also e-enable virtually. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also scale strategically. We will multiply our ability to seize without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. At AtomicDragon, we think we know how to synthesize intuitively. Think robust. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and ActionScript. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our platforms but our power to mesh. It seems marvelous, but it's true! What does it really mean to visualize "cyber-virally"? Is it more important for something to be next-generation, sticky or to be fractal? We believe we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to generate cyber-iteravely. Think cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. We will add to our capacity to productize without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent.