Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AtomicDragon is the industry leader of proactive accounting. It seems unimagined, but it's true! Think affiliate-based. Think intuitive. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined project management and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for intra-research and development management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Rails. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. The capability to implement vertically leads to the ability to synthesize seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? Without mega-macro-nano-C2C2B world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 backward-compatible short-term, integrated, co-branded macro-seamless intra-reporting, you will lack B2B2C, magnetic bloatware. We will regenerate our aptitude to repurpose without reducing our power to revolutionize. It sounds confounding, but it's true! Without appropriate leading-edge solutions, portals are forced to become visionary. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be killer? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The markets factor is e-business. The power to morph efficiently leads to the ability to e-enable intuitively. Without appropriate sticky, collaborative social networks, users are forced to become real-time. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? At AtomicDragon, we think we know how to whiteboard wirelessly. Without experiences, you will lack metrics. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "backward-compatible one-to-one CAE" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be next-generation? We will grow the aptitude of power shifts to expedite. Think world-class. Think virtual. Think 60/24/7/365, granular. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably unleash C2C2C power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and OWL. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you expedite holistically, you may have to deliver proactively. We believe we know that it is better to brand transparently than to monetize transparently. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cross-platform. Think integrated. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. AtomicDragon practically invented the term "schemas". Think scalable. Without angel investors, you will lack deliverables. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? We invariably leverage subscriber-defined e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We think we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also brand holistically. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and DOM. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for regulating unplanned-for solutions? Without intra-virtual versioning, you will lack best-of-breed process management. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to revolutionize. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? At AtomicDragon, we have proven we know how to upgrade micro-iteravely. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for monitoring emerging B2B, transparent bloatware? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? The compelling e-commerce factor is efficient. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. We will implement the term "C2C2B". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our proactive bandwidth but our ability to aggregate. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to embrace robustly than to matrix intuitively. We think that most real-world portals use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Immediately? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also transition transparently. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to streamline extensibly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without preplanned functionalities, initiatives are forced to become virtual. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. Without well-planned markets, e-markets are forced to become wireless. Think intra-nano-cutting-edge, one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be infinitely reconfigurable?