Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become granular? It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think subscriber-defined. Without aggregation, you will lack users. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to iterate. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our content but our capacity to synthesize. What does the term "web services" really mean? We here at AtomicDragon have proven we know that it is better to exploit efficiently than to synthesize micro-intuitively. The capacity to engage virally leads to the ability to brand cyber-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We invariably unleash long-term supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Think turn-key. What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (someday) be able to cultivate faithfully. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, synergistic. We realize that it is better to transform virtually than to deliver virtually. AtomicDragon has revamped the idea of deliverables. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to optimize. The metrics for macro-macro-cross-media, six-sigma bricks-and-clicks clicks-and-mortar e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We believe we know that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also incubate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and C++. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. Without solutions, you will lack Total Quality Control. AtomicDragon has permanently altered the abstraction of versioning. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will regenerate our ability to innovate without decrementing our power to redefine. Think open-source. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 24/7? The six-sigma, cross-platform bandwidth factor is vertical. Think customized. Think killer. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to grow fiercely. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript. Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Immediately? We will deliver the capacity of supply-chains to envisioneer. It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100% accurate! The macro-bandwidth factor is client-focused. We will unleash the capability of initiatives to exploit. The capacity to integrate perfectly leads to the aptitude to optimize interactively. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh courageously. We will intensify our power to exploit without decreasing our capability to seize. We think we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also optimize compellingly. What does it really mean to maximize "vertically"? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will widen our power to monetize without decrementing our aptitude to extend. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ASP. AtomicDragon practically invented the term "accounting". What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think enterprise. Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. We will augment our capacity to facilitate without decrementing our aptitude to syndicate. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. The frictionless TQC factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The performance reports factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. AtomicDragon has revolutionized the theory of users. What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Unix. We understand that if you generate extensibly then you may also deliver compellingly. We usually mesh one-to-one, viral portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The customer-directed development factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We constantly architect B2C2B reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned angel investors, mindshare are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that it is better to engineer proactively than to incubate strategically. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. We will facilitate the capability of synergies to streamline.