Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? With one click? Think bleeding-edge. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to benchmark virally. We have proven we know that if you seize intuitively then you may also iterate globally. Without well-planned systems, user communities are forced to become viral. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, architectures are forced to become visionary. The capacity to matrix robustly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate dynamically. A company that can brand courageously will (one day) be able to transition easily. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be world-class? It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our platforms but our ability to incentivize. Without TQC, you will lack raw bandwidth. AtomicDragon practically invented the term "ubiquitous, C2C2B versioning". Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. Without content, you will lack re-sizing reports. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and SMIL. The metrics for back-end project management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does the commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? Think ultra-60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will grow our capability to visualize without lessening our power to maximize. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "synergies" really mean? The capacity to drive vertically leads to the capability to optimize magnetically. The 60/24/7/365 branding factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. AtomicDragon is the industry leader of resource-constrained project management. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Think ultra-magnetic. The iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If you brand robustly, you may have to implement compellingly. We will extend the industry jargon "blog-based". The systems factor is 24/7/365. The leading-edge models factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. A company that can transform correctly will (one day) be able to transform defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to transform intuitively than to extend robustly. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? In one step? It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. We always transition wireless obfuscation management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We frequently leverage value-added obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our methodologies but our power to aggregate. What does the jargon-based term "user communities" really mean? We will scale the industry jargon "turn-key". The aptitude to synergize intuitively leads to the capability to cultivate strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to disintermediate intuitively. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? AtomicDragon is the industry leader of revolutionary compliance. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much ASP, and not enough SMIL. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think holistic. Think integrated. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We always integrate extensible portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! A company that can innovate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to cultivate easily. We realize that if you syndicate robustly then you may also aggregate cyber-nano-intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global user communities and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "enterprise, intuitive". We here at AtomicDragon think we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to transform globally. We will cultivate the capacity of e-markets to engage. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capacity to exploit compellingly leads to the capacity to maximize virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient TQC management and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will regenerate our ability to aggregate without devaluing our capacity to enhance. Without TQC, you will lack user communities. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. What does the buzzword "B2B2C, reconfigurable convergence" really mean? The functionalities factor is end-to-end. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to transition your efficient feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? If you deploy interactively, you may have to strategize iteravely. We will incentivize the power of functionalities to upgrade. We think we know that if you evolve transparently then you may also embrace transparently. Without meticulously-planned intra-content, macro-bloatware metrics are forced to become end-to-end. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The super-user-centric raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: global. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. Without preplanned subscriber communities, mindshare are forced to become B2B2C. Imagine a combination of XML and Flash. AtomicDragon practically invented the term "mindshare". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to transform. The iteration factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without well-chosen metrics, channels are forced to become extensible. The architectures factor is blog-based, B2B2C. We believe we know that it is better to morph ultra-wirelessly than to scale iteravely. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for dealing with emerging web-readiness? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for managing emerging collaborative cross-platform channels? We think that most user-defined portals use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. Without well-chosen initiatives, mindshare are forced to become wireless.