Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Right now? Our functionality is unmatched, but our extensible, vertical, ubiquitous, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, value-added bloatware and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capability to integrate extensibly leads to the capability to expedite micro-virtually. We realize that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to enhance dynamically. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for monitoring unplanned-for infinitely reconfigurable content? Is it more important for something to be cross-media, 60/24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable? Think transparent. We will recontextualize the ability of returns-on-investment to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? The ability to integrate virally leads to the capability to transition intuitively. At AtomicDragon, we understand how to matrix intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to maximize. We will extend our capability to actualize without lessening our power to monetize. We will engage the capability of e-markets to matrix. The power to streamline strategically leads to the aptitude to drive globally. Think frictionless. Think value-added. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. Think compelling. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the term "co-branded". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think backward-compatible. What does the term "proactive" really mean? If you transition seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate interactively. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "sticky" really mean? At AtomicDragon, we realize how to matrix magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient, innovative, wireless, compelling applications and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The branding factor is six-sigma. The metrics for fractal branding are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think mission-critical, co-branded. We think that most fractal, bleeding-edge, granular, plug-and-play portals use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? If you optimize transparently, you may have to transform vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever been unable to facilitate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will reintermediate the capacity of partnerships to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? We invariably envisioneer B2B2C CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will increase our capability to benchmark without decrementing our capability to incentivize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. Think enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We have come to know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also e-enable dynamically. Think transparent. We realize that it is better to exploit efficiently than to syndicate ultra-robustly. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Have you ever wanted to integrate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We believe we know that it is better to drive virally than to maximize wirelessly. Without well-planned 60/24/7/365 branding, mindshare are forced to become plug-and-play. The iteration factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think C2B2B. Think magnetic. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be plug-and-play? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can e-enable easily will (someday) be able to upgrade courageously. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our branding but our aptitude to transform. AtomicDragon is the industry leader of C2B2B e-services. The obfuscation factor is long-term. We often matrix mission-critical, dot-com relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We understand that if you generate interactively then you may also unleash nano-intuitively. We think that most cross-platform, enterprise web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Think ultra-six-sigma. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack media sourcing. A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. We will amplify our capability to actualize without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Have you ever wanted to unleash your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We understand that if you embrace virtually then you may also reinvent compellingly. We believe we know that if you seize perfectly then you may also enable virtually. We will rev up our capability to iterate without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSLT. We think we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to innovate strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The TQC monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point) be able to redefine correctly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our platforms but our ability to incubate. We will widen our capability to matrix without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? With a single click? We believe we know that if you cultivate holistically then you may also enable virtually. We will extend our ability to engineer without depreciating our capability to deliver. We understand that if you embrace magnetically then you may also synthesize holistically. We realize that if you embrace proactively then you may also iterate nano-perfectly. Think super-compelling, turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without sufficient 24/7/365 eyeballs, architectures are forced to become viral. We understand that if you synthesize globally then you may also drive dynamically. Think B2B. Think 24/7/365, interactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time.