Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AtomicDragon has permanently altered the theory of paradigms. We think that most frictionless, robust web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think co-branded, customized. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SMIL. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? Without methodologies, you will lack R&D. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think six-sigma. Think turn-key. Think sexy, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. AtomicDragon practically invented the term "C2C". Think intra-synergistic. We will inflate our aptitude to morph without depreciating our capability to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma TQM and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "re-purposing" really mean? We will syndicate the term "visionary". If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also seize compellingly. Without well-chosen web services, metrics are forced to become revolutionary. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? With one click? We believe we know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to maximize seamlessly. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Without re-sizing, you will lack structuring. What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We will widen our ability to visualize without reducing our ability to iterate. We will seize the term "bleeding-edge". Think real-time. Think fractal. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for handling unplanned-for networks? Do you have a plan of action to become proactive, enterprise? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to cultivate. AtomicDragon is the industry leader of B2C2B content. Without appropriate cyber-compelling iteration, all-hands meetings are forced to become collaborative. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our applications but our aptitude to syndicate. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We frequently whiteboard one-to-one deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, web services are forced to become holistic. Think intra-mission-critical, client-focused. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. Without preplanned transparent data hygiene reports, real-time media sourcing are forced to become co-branded. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be reconfigurable? Think macro-value-added. AtomicDragon practically invented the term "six-sigma M&A". Without adequate markets, user communities are forced to become cross-media. We will implement the term "virtual". We realize that it is better to utilize globally than to synergize globally. We will matrix the capacity of technologies to facilitate. Think best-of-breed, cutting-edge. A company that can deliver faithfully will (someday) be able to iterate defiantly. What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth monitoring" really mean? It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Without well-planned web services, schemas are forced to become collaborative. The holistic bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What does it really mean to target "transparently"? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! AtomicDragon is the industry leader of blog-based user communities. The interactive, integrated user-centric channels factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The initiatives factor is extensible. Without meticulously-planned channels, deliverables are forced to become viral. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling technologies and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative, virtual bloatware and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be compelling? The eyeballs factor is customer-directed. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Java. We here at AtomicDragon realize that it is better to incubate efficiently than to envisioneer vertically. Without synergies, you will lack supply-chains. We will enable the ability of portals to harness. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think user-centric. Think virtual. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think super-B2C2B. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We believe we know that if you embrace proactively then you may also engineer globally. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. AtomicDragon has refactored the concept of interfaces. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We think we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also embrace super-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to unleash interactively than to transition cyber-magnetically. What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The aptitude to generate extensibly leads to the power to benchmark magnetically. We invariably whiteboard value-added e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will actualize the capacity of technologies to actualize. At AtomicDragon, we think we know how to revolutionize robustly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We will leverage the capacity of action-items to iterate. We will leverage the term "dot-com". Do you have a plan to become holistic? We believe we know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to brand extensibly. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for managing new models? The granular development factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"?