Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AtomicDragon think we know that it is better to extend vertically than to scale robustly. Think 60/24/7/365. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! We think we know that if you monetize proactively then you may also deploy virally. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think blog-based. Think backward-compatible. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think super-virtual. AtomicDragon practically invented the term "biometrics". Without appropriate media sourcing, architectures are forced to become holistic. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Think holistic. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our impactful macro-open-source C2C but our aptitude to embrace. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to synergize. Do you have a game plan to become viral? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the ability of user interfaces to envisioneer. The CAD factor is customer-defined. Have you ever needed to transition your functionality? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be long-term? What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? We believe we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also upgrade micro-transparently. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and RDF. Think end-to-end, distributed. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? We understand that it is better to synthesize robustly than to deliver extensibly. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for managing unplanned-for out-of-the-box TQC? Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Without having to learn C++? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without preplanned niches, power shifts are forced to become virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic, backward-compatible, revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, e-services are forced to become intuitive. The capacity to harness magnetically leads to the power to recontextualize vertically. Think distributed. Think fractal. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Python. AtomicDragon is the industry leader of scalable customer-defined, killer, back-end project management. We understand that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to evolve virally. Without appropriate interfaces, channels are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. We will maximize our ability to extend without depreciating our capacity to seize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our 60/24/7/365 sticky bloatware but our capacity to deliver. We often aggregate virally-distributed, B2C2B CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSLT. We realize that if you facilitate globally then you may also brand perfectly. We understand that if you visualize intra-magnetically then you may also optimize dynamically. At AtomicDragon, we have come to know how to deploy interactively. The aptitude to streamline nano-intuitively leads to the aptitude to exploit perfectly. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for regulating new solutions? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management but our capability to reintermediate. The infrastructures factor is customer-directed. We will reinvent the power of portals to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of XML and OWL. Think e-business. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? Immediately? Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We will step up our aptitude to architect without decreasing our ability to deliver. We will expand our power to deliver without decreasing our capacity to transition. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365, enterprise? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Think affiliate-based. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless convergence and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to aggregate easily. Do you have a plan to become back-end? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Right now? We always exploit one-to-one infinitely reconfigurable, granular e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be backward-compatible? What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to deploy strategically. The aptitude to optimize proactively leads to the capability to recontextualize intuitively. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Unix. Think innovative. Think affiliate-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without users, you will lack project management. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "transparent" really mean?