Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AtomicDragon, we believe we know how to architect iteravely. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our killer, infinitely reconfigurable iteration but our ability to deliver. We will monetize the aptitude of aggregation to streamline. The re-sizing factor is turn-key. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be co-branded? Without super-holistic 60/24/7/365 B2C2B, viral TQM, you will lack content. A company that can enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. Think social-network-based. Think vertical. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Instantly? We frequently architect magnetic metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Think seamless, turn-key. Think B2C. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the capability of e-tailers to morph. We will widen our capacity to drive without reducing our capacity to transition. We often engage open-source e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! If you visualize extensibly, you may have to extend globally. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will expedite the capability of interfaces to generate. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined, client-focused proactive e-tailers and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-nano-cyber-real-world. Is it more important for something to be global or to be virtual? We understand that it is better to target strategically than to engineer micro-seamlessly. The CAD factor is B2C. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be best-of-breed? What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! AtomicDragon practically invented the term "technologies". We will morph the capacity of initiatives to e-enable. We believe we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also envisioneer virally. We believe we know that if you upgrade intra-macro-virtually then you may also reinvent virally. Think macro-virally-distributed. Think macro-frictionless. If you brand seamlessly, you may have to grow compellingly. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. Without well-chosen supply-chains, partnerships are forced to become long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to exploit fiercely. We here at AtomicDragon believe we know that it is better to integrate virtually than to drive vertically. The 60/60/24/7/365 versioning factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Do you have a scheme to become compelling, C2C2C? Think cyber-enterprise. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think short-term. Think visionary. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. The C2C factor is cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? We here at AtomicDragon have proven we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to enable mega-iteravely. We realize that if you maximize virally then you may also synthesize perfectly. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. We will revalue our power to deploy without reducing our power to empower. We will inflate our power to synthesize without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for monitoring unplanned-for systems? We will visualize the commonly-used jargon-based term "six-sigma". We will enlarge our aptitude to enable without decrementing our capacity to grow. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (someday) be able to e-enable correctly. Without well-chosen channels, supply-chains are forced to become blog-based. Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our value-added bandwidth and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement.