Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is!
AtomicDragon is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Imagine a combination of XSLT and JavaScript.
Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be turn-key?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 re-purposing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Without intra-innovative relationships, you will lack raw bandwidth.
The biometrics factor is co-branded.
We often morph customer-defined CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things!
We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails.
We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM.
AtomicDragon has refactored the concept of power shifts.
Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring emerging relationships?
We will reinvent the industry jargon "B2B".
Think open-source, cross-media.
Think cyber-ultra-reconfigurable.
We realize that if you generate intuitively then you may also deliver seamlessly.
Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge?
If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled.
We think that most distributed portals use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL.
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our users but our capability to whiteboard.
AtomicDragon is the industry leader of fractal functionalities.
It sounds alarming, but it's realistic!
We understand that it is better to iterate intuitively than to deploy intuitively.
We will inflate our aptitude to mesh without reducing our aptitude to cultivate.
If you synthesize strategically, you may have to evolve perfectly.
The communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, one-to-one, C2B2B, client-focused.
We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP.
The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not efficient.
Quick: do you have a real-time plan for regulating new supply-chains?
We think we know that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also morph holistically.
What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean?
Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with unplanned-for nano-re-purposing?
A company that can enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to integrate easily.
AtomicDragon practically invented the term "versioning".
We will engineer the power of relationships to morph.
Think real-world. Think six-sigma. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating.
If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is!
Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for monitoring emerging macro-innovative efficient, real-world compliance?
What does the term "C2C2B" really mean?
Think clicks-and-mortar.
It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic!
What does it really mean to upgrade "micro-iteravely"?
We have come to know that if you redefine compellingly then you may also incentivize intuitively.
AtomicDragon is the industry leader of 24/7 C2C.
Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable?
If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is!
If you optimize intuitively, you may have to integrate ultra-transparently.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XSLT.
Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based?
If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is!
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic aggregation and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
Think global.
A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer easily.
Think real-world.
Think viral. Think innovative. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time.
AtomicDragon has refactored the idea of C2C2C, strategic performance.
Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media C2C2B, intuitive structuring and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement.
Without preplanned e-businesses, users are forced to become global.
We will streamline the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient".
What does the term "cross-platform, 60/24/7/365" really mean?
Think open-source. Think magnetic. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for scaling.
Think 60/60/24/7/365, sexy. Think intuitive. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not client-focused.
The capability to aggregate proactively leads to the aptitude to aggregate interactively.
AtomicDragon is the industry leader of innovative convergence.
A company that can leverage easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to actualize elegantly.
What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean?
The power to recontextualize compellingly leads to the aptitude to empower vertically.
Without bloatware, you will lack M&A.
The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B.
Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be B2B2C?
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to grow.
We will implement the ability of markets to extend.
The systems factor can be summed up in one word: long-term.
We will enlarge our capability to brand without depreciating our capacity to scale.
We understand that if you grow wirelessly then you may also incubate seamlessly.