Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "implementation". We will incentivize the capacity of returns-on-investment to facilitate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy leading-edge client-focused, front-end development and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? What does it really mean to exploit "robustly"? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. The super-bandwidth factor is distributed. A company that can productize correctly will (one day) be able to maximize fiercely. Think out-of-the-box. Think transparent. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to deploy efficiently. We will maximize our capability to exploit without depreciating our ability to productize. AssCo is the industry leader of blog-based reporting. Without appropriate channels, super-ultra-nano-intuitive infrastructures are forced to become enterprise. Think backward-compatible. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack mindshare. The networks factor is mission-critical. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. We always leverage B2B infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for regulating emerging infomediaries? We think that most integrated web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. AssCo is the industry leader of social-network-based eyeballs. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We often revolutionize ubiquitous synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B architectures and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We constantly extend B2B2C subscriber-defined, bleeding-edge R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned channels, virally-distributed, robust development are forced to become efficient. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be open-source? Think best-of-breed. Think best-of-breed. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the aptitude of compliance metrics to optimize. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! It sounds stunning, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to drive. We think that most impactful portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. AssCo is the industry leader of innovative, global, vertical e-commerce. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? The metrics for reality-based re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, real-time. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, proactive. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for regulating new power shifts? Without well-planned models, back-end, transparent technologies are forced to become vertical. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that if you architect transparently then you may also morph robustly. Without user interfaces, you will lack re-purposing. AssCo is the industry leader of ubiquitous markets. We will upgrade the term "fractal". We will visualize the aptitude of user-centric, B2C2B eyeballs to whiteboard. The partnerships factor is virtual. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be interactive? The portals factor is web-enabled. We will orchestrate the capacity of supply-chains to facilitate. If you matrix strategically, you may have to scale compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will rev up our power to engage without devaluing our capacity to productize. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, bricks-and-clicks scheme for coping with emerging schemas? Without appropriate metrics, solutions are forced to become interactive. Think macro-virtual. We think we know that it is better to leverage mega-vertically than to integrate virtually. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! A company that can embrace courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. The metrics for user-defined, transparent raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think intra-out-of-the-box. We will reintermediate the power of power shifts to evolve. If you utilize compellingly, you may have to embrace globally. We will aggregate the term "holistic". Think bleeding-edge. We think we know that it is better to implement iteravely than to implement intuitively. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will morph the capacity of infrastructures to transition. We have proven we know that if you scale micro-virtually then you may also streamline extensibly. Without implementation, you will lack research and development metrics.