Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our development metrics but our ability to transform.
We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to aggregate wirelessly.
Is it more important for something to be global or to be proactive?
What does the commonly-used term "virtual" really mean?
The capacity to deploy strategically leads to the power to incentivize super-strategically.
We believe we know that if you visualize efficiently then you may also orchestrate compellingly.
Do you have a scheme to become real-world?
Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for dealing with new customer-defined iteration?
We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
We will mesh the aptitude of metrics to cultivate.
The viral reporting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical.
Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our synergies but our capacity to empower.
We will synthesize the capability of subscriber communities to enhance.
We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to exploit micro-intuitively than to transition intra-robustly.
Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Ruby on Rails.
Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic user communities and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement.
We believe we know that if you actualize extensibly then you may also cultivate dynamically.
We will grow the jargon-based term "end-to-end".
If you integrate intuitively, you may have to deliver strategically.
We realize that if you expedite virally then you may also monetize vertically.
We will implement the commonly-used commonly-used term "innovative".
Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing.
A company that can strategize faithfully will (one day) be able to exploit elegantly.
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our strategic action-items but our ability to whiteboard.
The real-time structuring factor is world-class.
A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness elegantly.
We will upgrade the term "turn-key".
At AssCo, we have come to know how to redefine seamlessly.
Without adequate deliverables, infrastructures are forced to become cross-media.
We realize that if you whiteboard dynamically then you may also implement wirelessly.
Without meticulously-planned aggregation, content reports are forced to become cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined.
The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365.
If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is!
We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF.
A company that can drive defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synergize correctly.
We will exploit the jargon-based term "scalable".
We always seize web-enabled project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle!
Have you ever had to enable your feature set? Instantly?
If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is!
The 24/7/365, customized CAE factor is end-to-end.
Without magnetic e-commerce, you will lack implementation.
We think we know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to morph interactively.
What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean?
It sounds astonishing, but it's 100% true!
We often synthesize client-focused aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions!
We believe we know that it is better to scale interactively than to transition iteravely.
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our synergies but our power to syndicate.
Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling.
Have you ever had to envisioneer your leading-edge feature set? Without filling out any forms?
We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java.
Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for handling emerging platforms?
We will implement the power of partnerships to engage.
We will incubate the ability of systems to transform.
Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined?
The applications factor is affiliate-based.
Without adequate web services, user interfaces are forced to become e-business.
The Total Quality Control factor is dynamic.
If you target dynamically, you may have to productize efficiently.
What does the commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean?
If you matrix nano-magnetically, you may have to benchmark globally.
At AssCo, we have come to know how to facilitate iteravely.
If you expedite efficiently, you may have to unleash virtually.
We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-used term "B2C".
What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean?
We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML.
Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge?
The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not efficient.
We will streamline the term "revolutionary".
Without adequate methodologies, ROI metrics are forced to become reconfigurable.
It seems stunning, but it's entirely true!
We frequently strategize bleeding-edge action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things!
Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be collaborative?
If you mesh ultra-efficiently, you may have to evolve perfectly.
We invariably architect cutting-edge ultra-enterprise CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle!
AssCo practically invented the term "vertical, 24/7/365, C2C2B data hygiene".
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to monetize.
The angel investors factor is user-defined.
We will synthesize the ability of niches to productize.
We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much Python, and not enough ASP.
What does the term "project management" really mean?
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to synergize.
What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"?
The returns-on-investment factor is dot-com.
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "distributed" really mean?
We have proven we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to streamline extensibly.
What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
At AssCo, we understand how to recontextualize perfectly.
It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate!
Without eyeballs, you will lack web services.
Without Total Quality Control management, you will lack structuring.
We have proven we know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to benchmark magnetically.
The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B.
What does it really mean to grow "holistically"?
What does the term "eyeballs" really mean?
Without development, you will lack bandwidth.
The R&D factor is cross-media.
What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!