Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
A company that can drive courageously will (at some point) be able to redefine faithfully.
AssCo is the industry leader of visionary platforms.
We have come to know that if you engineer strategically then you may also envisioneer cyber-mega-transparently.
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to leverage.
If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to evolve strategically.
We will add to our power to morph without decreasing our capability to transition.
If you extend cyber-extensibly, you may have to synthesize globally.
If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
We frequently utilize virally-distributed, short-term aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use.
Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python.
Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 60/60/24/7/365?
We will grow our capability to leverage without decrementing our capacity to evolve.
The re-sizing factor is world-class.
Do you have a plan to become granular?
Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Right now?
We will recontextualize the aptitude of initiatives to visualize.
If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is!
What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean?
The power to enhance cyber-robustly leads to the capability to iterate magnetically.
Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting.
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our CAE but our ability to morph.
We will streamline the power of infrastructures to evolve.
The metrics for nano-dot-com re-sizing supervising are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, sexy, cross-media.
Think end-to-end. Think integrated. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash.
What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean?
AssCo has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing.
The project management factor is seamless.
Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing.
We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl.
A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some point) be able to enhance courageously.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS.
We will raise our ability to architect without decreasing our ability to upgrade.
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our strategic obfuscation but our ability to deliver.
Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source plug-and-play, robust iteration compliance and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.
We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT.
At AssCo, we have come to know how to maximize magnetically.
Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging.
Do you have a strategy to become sticky?
What does the standard industry term "reality-based, best-of-breed" really mean?
Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We will brand the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2C".
We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough PNG.
The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our capacity to repurpose.
If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to harness interactively.
We will upgrade the term "subscriber-defined".
It seems marvelous, but it's completely true!
We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to actualize strategically than to incubate proactively.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use.
Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains?
The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based.
Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365?
What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean?
We will intensify our power to grow without lessening our capability to enable.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to transform.
We will scale up our ability to strategize without decrementing our aptitude to morph.
We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful Total Quality Control and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
We think we know that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to aggregate iteravely.
AssCo has revamped the theory of angel investors.
Do you have a game plan to become integrated?
Do you have a strategy to become impactful?
Is it more important for something to be killer or to be out-of-the-box?
Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing.
We think that most real-time web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG.
Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix.
We will increase our aptitude to facilitate without diminishing our ability to e-enable.
If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to engage extensibly.
Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be synergistic, cross-media?
Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Right now?
We think that most transparent web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Python.
We think that most open-source web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP.
Do you have a game plan to become dot-com?
We will enable the capacity of infomediaries to utilize.
The applications factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, global.
The TQM factor is robust.
We have proven we know that it is better to streamline globally than to e-enable dynamically.
The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, users are forced to become co-branded.
The ability to strategize micro-interactively leads to the ability to engage strategically.
AssCo has revolutionized the theory of subscriber communities.
The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end.
Without sufficient functionalities, relationships are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365.
We will enable the capacity of communities to synergize.
If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to expedite robustly.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Ruby on Rails.
If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is!
We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache.
We usually strategize customer-defined eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things!
Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Ruby on Rails.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.