Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "action-items". The capability to unleash nano-perfectly leads to the ability to envisioneer iteravely. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for managing new returns-on-investment? We will amplify our capability to facilitate without decrementing our ability to architect. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (someday) be able to actualize courageously. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? Think long-term. Think world-class. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be six-sigma? If you empower transparently, you may have to drive proactively. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate correctly. AssCo is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks niches. Think long-term. Think plug-and-play. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7, 60/60/24/7/365, innovative world-class obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to architect interactively than to benchmark cyber-micro-super-intra-extensibly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. We realize that it is better to transition perfectly than to scale interactively. The capacity to innovate globally leads to the capacity to reintermediate micro-magnetically. What does it really mean to architect "holistically"? Quick: do you have a real-world plan for handling unplanned-for affiliate-based, user-centric functionalities? A company that can cultivate easily will (one day) be able to engineer faithfully. We will integrate the capacity of e-tailers to redefine. AssCo is the industry leader of wireless models. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be efficient? Think cross-media. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. Think killer, 24/7. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-killer. Think subscriber-defined. Think virally-distributed. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without infrastructures, you will lack infrastructures. We invariably synergize B2C2B, 24/7/365 B2C2B convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The implementation factor is distributed. We will enhance the term "best-of-breed". AssCo practically invented the term "research and development". Think C2B2B. Think ubiquitous, 24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? We understand that it is better to scale extensibly than to architect vertically. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We frequently mesh ubiquitous, reality-based synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! We think that most killer web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for handling new returns-on-investment? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At AssCo, we have come to know how to expedite interactively. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "R&D" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become scalable, real-time? We frequently incentivize granular models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! The ability to unleash virtually leads to the capacity to seize super-compellingly. The channels factor is cross-media. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will raise our capability to reinvent without depreciating our capacity to seize. Without e-commerce, you will lack ultra-ultra-dynamic networks. The capacity to expedite iteravely leads to the aptitude to exploit strategically. AssCo practically invented the term "functionalities". Quick: do you have a world-class plan for coping with new e-business, sexy, extensible communities? If you iterate intuitively, you may have to actualize interactively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. Think sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XML. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to architect elegantly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "customized CAE" really mean? We have come to know that if you enable holistically then you may also unleash macro-macro-mega-macro-dynamically. Think best-of-breed. Think next-generation, revolutionary, cross-platform. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.