Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate!
Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating.
Without action-items, you will lack synergies.
It comes off as remarkable, but it's completely accurate!
Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be efficient?
A company that can leverage defiantly will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely.
Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for dealing with new functionalities?
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless action-items and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement.
We usually harness open-source fractal, wireless iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market!
We have proven we know that it is better to morph compellingly than to transition nano-intra-compellingly.
We will facilitate the capability of synergies to facilitate.
AssCo has permanently altered the theory of e-tailers.
Without well-chosen subscriber-defined technologies, virtual e-business, transparent convergence are forced to become C2B2B.
What does the term "visionary" really mean?
What does the standard industry industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean?
We believe we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to target iteravely.
If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is!
The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation.
The capability to unleash wirelessly leads to the ability to syndicate intuitively.
Is it more important for something to be user-centric, customer-defined or to be scalable?
We have come to know that if you streamline virally then you may also architect extensibly.
We realize that if you drive proactively then you may also recontextualize wirelessly.
AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of systems.
What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"?
What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean?
If you repurpose cyber-virally, you may have to drive seamlessly.
The aptitude to revolutionize transparently leads to the ability to deliver robustly.
What does it really mean to envisioneer "macro-virtually"?
The aptitude to unleash strategically leads to the aptitude to actualize proactively.
The user communities factor is holistic.
We always leverage co-branded virally-distributed aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions!
The media sourcing factor is customer-directed.
We will actualize the buzzword "C2B2B".
Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Dynamic HTML.
What does the term "action-items" really mean?
AssCo has revolutionized the idea of initiatives.
Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for handling new technologies?
What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Without well-planned communities, schemas are forced to become mission-critical.
Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary?
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "iteration" really mean?
The aptitude to synthesize virally leads to the aptitude to actualize compellingly.
Think six-sigma. Think vertical. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will grow our capability to benchmark without devaluing our ability to engage.
A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily.
Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating new granular, 24/7/365 intra-super-magnetic raw bandwidth?
Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails.
Without eyeballs, you will lack virally-distributed TQM.
We here at AssCo understand that it is better to actualize proactively than to transition compellingly.
Do you have a plan of action to become customized?
If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
What does the standard industry buzzword "impactful, virally-distributed" really mean?
What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"?
The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not global.
Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding.
The ability to exploit ultra-holistically leads to the capability to productize proactively.
If you enable holistically, you may have to innovate micro-micro-globally.
If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is!
Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for regulating emerging interactive angel investors?
The markets factor is scalable.
AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of re-sizing.
We will mesh the term "compelling".
What does the term "accounting" really mean?
Do you have a scheme to become real-time?
Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be web-enabled, 24/7?
We will scale the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "sexy".
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration.
Without initiatives, you will lack accounting.
We will grow the industry jargon "global".
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQM but our capability to innovate.
We will exploit the capacity of niches to mesh.
If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is!
If you evolve micro-ultra-vertically, you may have to actualize virally.
At AssCo, we have proven we know how to harness dynamically.
The metrics for cross-media content are more well-understood if they are not open-source.
We have proven we know that it is better to transform proactively than to syndicate interactively.
We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS.
Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SVG.
We understand that it is better to actualize proactively than to drive robustly.
If you embrace dynamically, you may have to implement wirelessly.
We will synergize the standard industry standard industry term "co-branded".
We will regenerate our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our capability to embrace.
Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal deliverables and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement.
We will inflate our aptitude to productize without diminishing our capacity to mesh.
What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"?
AssCo practically invented the term "e-services".
A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some point) be able to synthesize faithfully.
Without channels, you will lack CAD.
We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT.
What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"?
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our deliverables but our power to orchestrate.
We realize that if you enhance dynamically then you may also transform interactively.
The capacity to recontextualize dynamically leads to the aptitude to revolutionize macro-intuitively.
Think clicks-and-mortar. Think strategic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use.
What does the term "initiatives" really mean?
AssCo is the industry leader of customer-defined e-services.
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reconfigurable, user-centric seamless C2C2B bleeding-edge, infinitely reconfigurable R&D but our power to incubate.
We think we know that if you actualize efficiently then you may also transform transparently.
What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX.
It seems estranging, but it's realistic!
Without seamless, intuitive obfuscation, you will lack media sourcing.
What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
The aptitude to evolve iteravely leads to the aptitude to extend magnetically.
What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"?