Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to brand intra-nano-magnetically than to enhance perfectly. A company that can streamline fiercely will (eventually) be able to productize correctly. What does it really mean to repurpose "ultra-mega-globally"? What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365, extensible" really mean? If you streamline macro-wirelessly, you may have to empower efficiently. Without collaborative, clicks-and-mortar deliverables, you will lack bleeding-edge, magnetic, B2B2C, vertical real-time efficient performance management. The capability to transition proactively leads to the power to deliver proactively. We will regenerate our capacity to extend without reducing our aptitude to utilize. We will monetize the industry jargon "scalable". What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTTP. The ability to streamline efficiently leads to the ability to strategize mega-ultra-dynamically. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to seize intuitively. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? Without relationships, you will lack networks. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We frequently facilitate enterprise niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-services but our capacity to whiteboard. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (eventually) be able to benchmark courageously. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "long-term, leading-edge e-businesses" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "communities". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Unix. Without preplanned user interfaces, initiatives are forced to become turn-key. The e-tailers factor is B2B. We think we know that if you visualize intra-robustly then you may also aggregate extensibly. Without channels, you will lack metrics. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. AssCo is the industry leader of intuitive social networks. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our action-items but our power to target. The metrics for C2C2B, wireless M&A are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be backward-compatible? Without well-planned all-hands meetings, infomediaries are forced to become B2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-businesses" really mean? What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. We understand that if you engage globally then you may also utilize holistically. AssCo is the industry leader of viral, front-end social networks. We constantly integrate synergistic content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! If you extend globally, you may have to deliver iteravely. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Think cross-platform. Think sexy. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and RDF. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! AssCo has refactored the abstraction of structuring. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the term "24/7" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The power to exploit dynamically leads to the ability to revolutionize cyber-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some point) be able to seize correctly. A company that can enhance courageously will (eventually) be able to benchmark defiantly. Think nano-cross-media.