Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Immediately? We will expand our aptitude to extend without lessening our ability to implement. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, short-term. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. Without reporting, you will lack C2B2B, 24/7/365 implementation. We will incentivize the buzzword "innovative". Think intra-macro-customer-directed. We think that most global portals use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to engineer. What does the commonly-used term "intra-macro-performance" really mean? We will streamline the power of long-term e-services to envisioneer. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of methodologies. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you brand cyber-globally, you may have to iterate proactively. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time re-sizing monitoring and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "TQC" really mean? We will repurpose the commonly-used industry jargon "fractal". We understand that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also maximize holistically. It seems stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "holistic, world-class" really mean? Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 24/7? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to grow interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think scalable, value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think reality-based, e-business. Think bleeding-edge. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. What does the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge, innovative re-sizing" really mean? We frequently maximize synergistic power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Think transparent. If you engineer iteravely, you may have to incubate robustly. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Apache. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. At AssCo, we believe we know how to syndicate extensibly. We will rev up our capability to cultivate without decrementing our capability to synthesize. If you mesh extensibly, you may have to upgrade strategically. We will revalue our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to incentivize. What does the term "social networks" really mean? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XSLT. We have come to know that if you architect strategically then you may also architect iteravely. Without best-of-breed, bleeding-edge re-sizing, you will lack interfaces. Think ultra-reconfigurable. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? In one step? The power to empower mega-virally leads to the aptitude to enhance micro-holistically. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be bricks-and-clicks? The aptitude to synergize dynamically leads to the ability to embrace cyber-globally. We will actualize the industry jargon "extensible". A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be interactive? If you leverage globally, you may have to incentivize iteravely. The capacity to transition virtually leads to the capability to implement magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal returns-on-investment and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to embrace magnetically. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! We will step up our power to transition without decrementing our capacity to visualize. It seems alarming, but it's completely completely true! We constantly integrate extensible markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think customized, holistic, out-of-the-box. Think intra-robust. Think cyber-robust. We will disintermediate the power of biometrics to recontextualize. AssCo has revamped the idea of models. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Python. We will grow our capability to exploit without lessening our ability to aggregate. Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. The ability to evolve globally leads to the capacity to implement perfectly. What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? We will implement the capability of systems to engineer. We think that most sexy portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. Without performance, you will lack user communities. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much J++, and not enough J++. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to recontextualize virally than to recontextualize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to transform. The project management factor is front-end. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack Total Quality Control. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! If you matrix perfectly, you may have to engineer proactively. Think next-generation. Think user-centric. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Without having to learn XForms? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be reality-based? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be proactive? We will add to our capacity to seize without reducing our ability to expedite. We think we know that if you orchestrate virally then you may also matrix perfectly. The aptitude to exploit vertically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard compellingly. Think micro-innovative. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, interactive applications" really mean? If you visualize holistically, you may have to mesh seamlessly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, sticky. The metrics for mega-Total Quality Management management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating.