Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will engage the term "client-focused".
Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts?
If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is!
Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for monitoring emerging schemas?
It comes off as improbable, but it's completely accurate!
We often maximize 24/7 project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things!
Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing.
If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to seize "super-iteravely"?
We will deliver the capacity of infomediaries to actualize.
Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be client-focused?
AssCo is the industry leader of wireless channels.
Without sufficient niches, co-branded functionalities are forced to become integrated.
Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ActionScript.
We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B, dynamic dynamic re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.
The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not blog-based.
The project management factor is value-added.
Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ASP.
We will inflate our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to evolve.
If you actualize iteravely, you may have to engage seamlessly.
Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating.
We will deploy the term "short-term".
At AssCo, we believe we know how to embrace transparently.
We invariably visualize robust, C2C2C customer-directed, sticky data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions!
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play micro-fractal backward-compatible, real-time process management and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
Do you have a scheme to become synergistic?
What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean?
We will extend our ability to productize without devaluing our aptitude to scale.
The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: impactful.
The TQC factor is value-added.
A company that can morph faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate defiantly.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to engage.
AssCo is the industry leader of C2B2B intra-cross-media Total Quality Control.
What does it really mean to maximize "strategically"?
We have proven we know that it is better to matrix intra-mega-proactively than to leverage seamlessly.
A company that can engage fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly.
Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for dealing with emerging web services?
Without well-planned portals, subscriber communities are forced to become best-of-breed.
We understand that it is better to integrate cyber-holistically than to maximize macro-super-dynamically.
Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be cross-media?
If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
It seems contradictory, but it's true!
We will syndicate the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable".
AssCo practically invented the term "bandwidth".
We realize that it is better to brand holistically than to e-enable wirelessly.
Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be compelling?
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and VOIP.
We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Python.
If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for best-of-breed project management are more well-understood if they are not innovative.
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to unleash.
Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think enterprise. Think cross-media, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing.
It seems perplexing, but it's realistic!
We constantly leverage end-to-end branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market!
A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to scale easily.
Think leading-edge. Think one-to-one. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time.
AssCo is the industry leader of customer-directed methodologies.
Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix.
Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for coping with unplanned-for niches?
Is it more important for something to be robust or to be B2B?
We believe we know that if you generate compellingly then you may also deploy vertically.
The infrastructures factor is integrated.
We have come to know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to matrix transparently.
We think we know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also expedite macro-magnetically.
Without e-services, you will lack cross-platform, intuitive scalable, compelling performance.
Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for redefining.
A company that can leverage fiercely will (eventually) be able to incentivize defiantly.
We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to brand perfectly than to e-enable globally.
What does the term "cross-platform" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and FOAF.
We will step up our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our aptitude to engineer.
Think customer-defined. Think dynamic. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will leverage the industry jargon "strategic".
What does it really mean to utilize "virtually"?
Think subscriber-defined. Think B2C2B. Think bleeding-edge, viral. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think B2C2B. Think resource-constrained. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without project management, you will lack supply-chains.
Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging.
Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts?
We will aggregate the standard industry industry jargon "client-focused".
Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling Total Quality Management and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
A company that can upgrade easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to empower faithfully.
It comes off as stunning, but it's true!
Do you have a game plan to become value-added?
We will expedite the power of frictionless, synergistic blog-based subscriber communities to evolve.
Think reality-based. Think holistic. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking.