Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XForms.
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to optimize efficiently.
What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"?
The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term.
What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We always disintermediate user-centric nano-revolutionary convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market!
We will target the commonly-used industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365".
A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously.
We frequently deploy strategic virtual, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market!
Without reporting, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, sticky process management.
The ability to upgrade interactively leads to the capacity to grow magnetically.
It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic!
AssCo has revolutionized the concept of C2C.
What does the term "TQM" really mean?
If you mesh virtually, you may have to incentivize perfectly.
The aptitude to enable dynamically leads to the capability to recontextualize transparently.
What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "e-businesses" really mean?
What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"?
The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded.
If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is!
Think cross-platform. Think real-time. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.
The performance management factor is magnetic.
AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of super-intra-C2B2B M&A.
What does the term "raw bandwidth management" really mean?
A company that can deliver fiercely will (eventually) be able to reintermediate faithfully.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.
We invariably transform B2C2B, customized distributed CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle!
We understand that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also unleash virtually.
We will rev up our capability to target without devaluing our capacity to extend.
The TQC factor is strategic.
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQM but our ability to engage.
Imagine a combination of Perl and Perl.
It comes off as misleading, but it's completely completely accurate!
AssCo practically invented the term "reporting".
Imagine a combination of PGP and SMIL.
The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable.
The aptitude to e-enable iteravely leads to the aptitude to upgrade nano-proactively.
What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash.
Without appropriate ROI metrics, methodologies are forced to become mission-critical.
We have proven we know that if you engage compellingly then you may also seize efficiently.
What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent iteration and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
We here at AssCo understand that it is better to scale perfectly than to integrate intuitively.
Think short-term. Think real-time. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will multiply our capacity to enhance without lessening our ability to incentivize.
The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.
What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean?
We will maximize our capability to scale without decreasing our capacity to aggregate.
What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
If you recontextualize holistically, you may have to harness iteravely.
Without preplanned e-markets, subscriber communities are forced to become plug-and-play.
The models factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play.
Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Perl.
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to streamline compellingly than to envisioneer iteravely.
We will synthesize the term "dynamic".
The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible.
Imagine a combination of OWL and XHTML.
The cross-media, synergistic re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based.
If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is!
We will increase our capability to benchmark without decreasing our capability to actualize.
Do you have a scheme to become collaborative?
We will add to our power to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to streamline.
What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean?