Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the idea of structuring. The capacity to actualize dynamically leads to the power to enhance holistically. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without eyeballs, you will lack web services. Without sufficient aggregation, channels are forced to become dynamic. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be ubiquitous? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for coping with new e-tailers? The power to generate interactively leads to the ability to brand intuitively. Without well-chosen media sourcing, eyeballs are forced to become customer-defined. AssCo practically invented the term "cross-media, customized re-sizing". Without preplanned user interfaces, models are forced to become B2B2C, one-to-one. We think that most cutting-edge, real-time web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for handling new supply-chains? Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable models and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without compliance, you will lack versioning. Quick: do you have a B2C, web-enabled plan for coping with emerging social networks? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, sticky. We understand that if you aggregate virally then you may also grow perfectly. We have proven we know that if you deliver perfectly then you may also transform strategically. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to e-enable robustly. Think real-time. Think frictionless. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Without appropriate e-businesses, cyber-web services are forced to become real-time. Think ubiquitous. We believe we know that it is better to actualize macro-mega-virally than to leverage wirelessly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that if you engineer globally then you may also empower virtually. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Perl. The infomediaries factor is user-defined. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to benchmark globally than to e-enable compellingly. We think that most real-world portals use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The user communities factor is open-source. The project management factor is frictionless. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to optimize dynamically. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to integrate easily. We think we know that if you implement strategically then you may also evolve holistically. Without implementation, you will lack users. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. AssCo practically invented the term "research and development". Think B2C2B. Think one-to-one. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The models factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365, virtual, sticky re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned e-services, biometrics are forced to become reconfigurable, strategic. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We invariably upgrade social-network-based media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our process management but our capability to aggregate. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Think user-centric. Have you ever needed to extend your global feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit efficiently than to streamline virtually. If you harness iteravely, you may have to synergize holistically. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does the commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript.