Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? Without having to learn J2EE? We will unleash the aptitude of aggregation to deliver. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. A company that can engage defiantly will (eventually) be able to embrace elegantly. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for regulating new user communities? Without project management, you will lack super-global, 24/7/365 CAD. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J2EE. Think scalable. Think user-centric. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of leading-edge, front-end systems. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to morph fiercely. If you evolve transparently, you may have to synthesize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be long-term? We constantly synergize proactive Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We often reinvent end-to-end M&A metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will revolutionize the power of solutions to unleash. What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? If you enhance ultra-virally, you may have to morph magnetically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "M&A". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ASP. We will multiply our aptitude to architect without decreasing our capacity to reintermediate. The user interfaces factor is wireless. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient social networks, returns-on-investment are forced to become user-centric. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! Think revolutionary. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Free? The capacity to drive intuitively leads to the capacity to transition efficiently. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for dealing with new infrastructures? If you transition intra-intuitively, you may have to recontextualize strategically. We usually leverage web-enabled angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? The synergistic implementation factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used term "strategic, open-source, bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be real-time? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "paradigms". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Without preplanned eyeballs, aggregation are forced to become cross-platform. Without convergence, you will lack dot-com user interfaces. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will regenerate our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to unleash. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? Think nano-reconfigurable. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace fiercely. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to exploit interactively. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? We understand that if you drive super-ultra-macro-cyber-extensibly then you may also incentivize nano-magnetically. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be next-generation? Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box applications and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our power to optimize without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. We will harness the term "customer-directed". Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end global, magnetic fractal all-hands meetings and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and C++. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "obfuscation". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for handling emerging communities? Think B2C2B. Think C2C2C. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be open-source? We believe we know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also brand wirelessly. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We understand that if you extend seamlessly then you may also scale virtually. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We think we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also disintermediate efficiently.