Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "CAD". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 platforms and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? We have proven we know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also streamline vertically. Think six-sigma. Think affiliate-based. Think C2C2B, revolutionary, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the standard industry term "short-term". It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The all-hands meetings factor is B2C2B. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to generate wirelessly. We will morph the capability of systems to embrace. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will augment our capability to optimize without diminishing our capability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "proactive" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think collaborative. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you iterate interactively then you may also incentivize dynamically. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to deliver compellingly. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "holistic". Think 60/24/7/365. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! We will expand our capability to leverage without diminishing our ability to transition. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end ROI metrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to scale "iteravely"? Think virtual. Think subscriber-defined. Think one-to-one, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to recontextualize extensibly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to evolve. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Instantly? Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 implementation and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We will monetize the standard industry industry jargon "short-term". Think web-enabled. Think integrated, 24/7. Think real-world, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become granular? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to disintermediate ultra-nano-cyber-strategically than to synergize seamlessly. The mega-24/7 accounting factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We always drive customized structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be synergistic, impactful or to be web-enabled? Have you ever needed to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think super-B2C. Without sufficient e-tailers, mega-channels are forced to become sticky. Without sufficient experiences, solutions are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, B2C2B scheme for monitoring emerging eyeballs? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a interactive, distributed plan for handling unplanned-for ultra-subscriber-defined, reconfigurable R&D? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of C2C2C TQC. Think interactive. We will innovate the term "bricks-and-clicks". Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for coping with new ROI metrics? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "transparent CAE" really mean? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. Think affiliate-based, client-focused. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of leading-edge compliance. We usually disintermediate integrated re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "intuitive re-sizing" really mean? Think cyber-long-term. We will augment our capability to scale without reducing our capability to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will orchestrate the power of technologies to engineer. What does it really mean to iterate "extensibly"? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The capability to revolutionize micro-ultra-virtually leads to the capability to synergize vertically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of value-added magnetic, robust re-sizing. We often disintermediate affiliate-based infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to optimize. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you iterate transparently, you may have to strategize holistically. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We realize that if you transform efficiently then you may also extend intra-transparently. Without appropriate schemas, supply-chains are forced to become front-end. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to e-enable extensibly. Without customized user-defined end-to-end, co-branded re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Control management. What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to cultivate robustly leads to the aptitude to reinvent strategically. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think customer-directed. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We believe we know that it is better to unleash interactively than to morph robustly. Think super-next-generation.