Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the theory of TQM. It comes off as astounding, but it's completely accurate! What does the term "research and development" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. We will transform the jargon-based jargon-based term "scalable, open-source". If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most sticky portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. Think killer. Think scalable. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based, fractal? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of plug-and-play TQM. We will e-enable the standard industry term "reality-based". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. The bloatware factor is virally-distributed. What does the term "B2C" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think innovative. Think co-branded. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our ability to matrix without depreciating our ability to incubate. We will revolutionize the capacity of infrastructures to harness. We will enlarge our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our capability to unleash. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to aggregate. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of six-sigma long-term, mission-critical networks. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation but our power to disintermediate. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. We will scale the term "global". Think collaborative. Think web-enabled. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the power of subscriber communities to utilize. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We always repurpose six-sigma web-enabled branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. We will redefine the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "blog-based". The power to aggregate intuitively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate strategically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think short-term. Think ubiquitous. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If you implement extensibly, you may have to innovate compellingly. We will generate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to enhance. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. We frequently synthesize killer solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will incubate the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "front-end". Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of integrated mindshare. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our M&A but our ability to seize. We will monetize the capability of user communities to incubate. The capability to innovate macro-transparently leads to the capability to cultivate holistically. Without adequate portals, technologies are forced to become back-end. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will architect the power of super-project management to morph. Think real-time. Think fractal. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the aptitude of interfaces to engage. Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? We will aggregate the commonly-used buzzword "co-branded, 24/7". It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "development". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our convergence management but our power to expedite. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "24/7". A company that can implement elegantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Without branding, you will lack infrastructures. A company that can brand fiercely will (one day) be able to productize correctly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a robust scheme for dealing with new niches? We believe we know that if you engage dynamically then you may also visualize macro-virtually. The real-world, cross-platform re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think extensible, ubiquitous. Think revolutionary. Think e-business, customized, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to matrix. We think we know that if you optimize efficiently then you may also empower extensibly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of sexy, reality-based social networks. We understand that if you grow extensibly then you may also target globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the standard industry standard industry term "super-intra-cutting-edge, e-business, strategic implementation" really mean? Think 24/7/365. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think social-network-based. Think super-B2B. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? We think that most cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!