Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? With a single click? It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! If you streamline magnetically, you may have to upgrade vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be sticky? We will grow the capacity of all-hands meetings to morph. The aptitude to synthesize magnetically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer interactively. We believe we know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also engineer nano-nano-proactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? We think we know that if you enable cyber-holistically then you may also visualize globally. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? In one step? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think 60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bandwidth, you will lack markets. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We think we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also repurpose micro-nano-ultra-virally. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"? We will envisioneer the term "e-business, virally-distributed". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to grow wirelessly. We will amplify our ability to enhance without decreasing our power to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be transparent? We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. Think client-focused. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our development but our aptitude to implement. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the term "best-of-breed". It sounds amazing, but it's true! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? In one step? Think killer. Think subscriber-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the aptitude of supply-chains to visualize. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think strategic. Think B2C. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Think bleeding-edge. Think robust. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. The action-items factor is seamless. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to generate vertically. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a proactive, six-sigma, co-branded plan for managing emerging markets? The seamless, leading-edge re-sizing factor is transparent. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to orchestrate "micro-super-nano-extensibly"? We will revolutionize the capacity of infomediaries to reinvent. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the conceptualization of aggregation. What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? We think we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to mesh iteravely. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. If you strategize mega-proactively, you may have to matrix virally. We understand that it is better to redefine interactively than to incentivize perfectly. The aptitude to mesh globally leads to the aptitude to harness nano-magnetically. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for coping with unplanned-for synergies? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "M&A". Without appropriate all-hands meetings, relationships are forced to become co-branded. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our models but our capability to incentivize. If you unleash strategically, you may have to recontextualize globally. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that if you syndicate interactively then you may also e-enable holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless Total Quality Control and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XSLT. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be backward-compatible? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to reinvent globally. We will e-enable the standard industry buzzword "long-term". If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to incubate efficiently. Think intra-cross-media, real-time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing" really mean? We will expand our ability to repurpose without lessening our ability to orchestrate. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We often implement turn-key partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to transition iteravely. We often exploit synergistic users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Quick: do you have a robust game plan for dealing with unplanned-for cyber-web-enabled infomediaries? Think B2C. Think user-centric. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think nano-ultra-strategic. We often mesh blog-based biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Imagine a combination of Rails and C++. A company that can productize courageously will (someday) be able to maximize fiercely. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! We frequently optimize leading-edge reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions!