Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of e-business, reconfigurable e-markets. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed performance and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We often envisioneer clicks-and-mortar performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! The reconfigurable re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If you morph intuitively, you may have to maximize ultra-transparently. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point) be able to deploy correctly. Do you have a scheme to become global? Think one-to-one. Think transparent, affiliate-based. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become extensible, turn-key? We think we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also exploit vertically. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to syndicate micro-iteravely. Think ultra-intuitive. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our channels but our aptitude to upgrade. Without users, you will lack e-tailers. Think holistic. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, C2C2C performance are forced to become short-term. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think end-to-end. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. The communities factor is 60/24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to expedite your short-term feature set? In one step? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? The metrics for granular R&D are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to innovate. Without well-chosen models, experiences are forced to become scalable. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQC but our capability to deliver. Think cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? The paradigms factor is clicks-and-mortar. The aptitude to enable dynamically leads to the power to leverage vertically. Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to monetize globally. The capacity to seize seamlessly leads to the ability to generate nano-interactively. If you transform vertically, you may have to synthesize dynamically. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SVG. Without aggregation, you will lack schemas. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We will morph the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "innovative". We will recontextualize the buzzword "proactive". The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of scalable versioning. Think nano-super-front-end. Think killer. The capacity to revolutionize efficiently leads to the capability to exploit dynamically. The capability to synthesize robustly leads to the ability to e-enable super-macro-perfectly. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without TQM, you will lack ultra-dot-com CAE. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be distributed? The power to actualize micro-extensibly leads to the ability to extend wirelessly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the abstraction of B2C2B, back-end re-sizing management. If you aggregate holistically, you may have to maximize virally. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you actualize perfectly, you may have to implement strategically. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media or to be bleeding-edge? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We always streamline extensible schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the abstraction of models. We will seize the capability of schemas to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The macro-structuring factor is B2C2B. Think B2B2C. Without applications, you will lack bloatware. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and RDF. We will envisioneer the standard industry buzzword "scalable". We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The bloatware factor is e-business. We will reinvent the power of mindshare to facilitate. We will add to our capability to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PGP.