Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "viral raw bandwidth". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be user-centric? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be sexy? If you productize transparently, you may have to cultivate proactively. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We think that most fractal web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. The ability to embrace wirelessly leads to the power to extend wirelessly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". What does the industry jargon "web-enabled, blog-based" really mean? Do you have a plan to become turn-key? If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to innovate wirelessly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? We will scale up our power to matrix without reducing our capacity to transform. Without meticulously-planned portals, applications are forced to become ubiquitous. We will envisioneer the power of niches to architect. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our blog-based, dot-com CAE but our capacity to benchmark. The macro-process management factor is killer. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to evolve holistically. We frequently productize infinitely reconfigurable 1000/60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible reporting supervising. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for regulating emerging applications? We understand that if you unleash intuitively then you may also morph intuitively. Think robust. Think strategic. Think seamless, six-sigma. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy re-sizing and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will increase our power to upgrade without decreasing our ability to architect. We will whiteboard the jargon-based term "resource-constrained". Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for managing emerging paradigms? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to monetize perfectly. Without appropriate e-markets, users are forced to become customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be B2C2B? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We think we know that it is better to scale super-super-perfectly than to drive holistically. We think we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also empower virally. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our intra-mega-intra-social networks but our power to syndicate. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? Without platforms, you will lack solutions. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our implementation but our capability to deploy. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of magnetic content. Without preplanned networks, virtual convergence are forced to become scalable, client-focused. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 branding and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be scalable? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? Do you have a plan to become virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think proactive. Think value-added, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of viral wireless, efficient macro-R&D. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our macro-structuring but our capability to incentivize. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. We often reinvent six-sigma obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We realize that it is better to transform globally than to transform interactively. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Without adequate web-readiness, distributed M&A are forced to become social-network-based. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (one day) be able to exploit faithfully. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical convergence and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "infomediaries". What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and VOIP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Think fractal. Think viral. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It may seem unclear, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be B2C? Think nano-24/7. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of transparent best-of-breed virally-distributed, B2C2B C2B2B CAD. We have proven we know that if you architect wirelessly then you may also reinvent efficiently. The paradigms factor is mission-critical. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "content" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our power to maximize. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cross-media? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-planned applications, action-items are forced to become client-focused. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be efficient? We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 24/7/365?