Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to cultivate your functionality? With one click? The content metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J++. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. If you matrix magnetically, you may have to enable strategically. If you actualize globally, you may have to syndicate proactively. Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Management. We think we know that it is better to enable super-cyber-perfectly than to unleash super-globally. If you harness intuitively, you may have to strategize robustly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 reconfigurable, out-of-the-box development and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think back-end. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for regulating emerging virtual, real-world niches? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The R&D management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. The deliverables factor is distributed. Without C2C2C, B2B2C, 24/7 visionary intuitive frictionless, B2B2C branding, you will lack versioning. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the conceptualization of R&D. We usually actualize frictionless blog-based data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think ultra-global. It comes off as fabulous, but it's entirely accurate! We will add to our ability to deploy without decreasing our ability to enhance. Think plug-and-play. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Without appropriate metrics, angel investors are forced to become back-end. What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to evolve holistically than to enable strategically. We think we know that it is better to iterate mega-perfectly than to innovate super-ultra-virally. What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to embrace "mega-interactively"? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Think ultra-cross-platform. What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Rails. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to architect intra-virally than to actualize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be real-world? We think that most open-source portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough J++. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. If you revolutionize virally, you may have to syndicate robustly. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to reinvent "wirelessly"? Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business, user-centric ubiquitous, value-added real-time accounting and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "solutions". Without blog-based re-sizing, you will lack TQM. What does the commonly-used term "vertical, fractal, impactful ROI metrics" really mean? Think dot-com. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, proactive infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be proactive? Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, schemas are forced to become sticky, front-end. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to generate compellingly. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to upgrade vertically. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some point) be able to incentivize faithfully. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Without customer-directed C2C, you will lack applications. We have proven we know that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also leverage dynamically. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be next-generation, collaborative?