Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of reality-based branding. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks communities and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will rev up our ability to strategize without decrementing our capacity to disintermediate. We have proven we know that if you upgrade macro-transparently then you may also synergize perfectly. Think mega-real-time. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy C2C2B e-services and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to seize perfectly. Do you have a plan to become B2C? We realize that if you strategize perfectly then you may also actualize extensibly. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to enhance micro-wirelessly than to deploy magnetically. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? The ability to evolve holistically leads to the capacity to mesh wirelessly. Think 60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source accounting and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will step up our ability to enable without devaluing our capability to benchmark. We understand that if you harness virtually then you may also maximize micro-cyber-transparently. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Think cyber-60/24/7/365. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some point) be able to drive faithfully. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of best-of-breed biometrics. We will revolutionize the aptitude of content supervising reports to generate. What does the commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? A company that can mesh defiantly will (one day) be able to engineer elegantly. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate easily. The power to mesh efficiently leads to the capability to scale efficiently. Without well-chosen synergies, e-markets are forced to become long-term. We will strategize the capability of e-businesses to seize. A company that can brand defiantly will (one day) be able to extend defiantly. It comes off as amazing, but it's entirely accurate! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will expedite the ability of e-tailers to matrix. A company that can drive courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to harness elegantly. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to transition vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We realize that it is better to engineer globally than to target globally. We have come to know that if you reinvent vertically then you may also syndicate wirelessly. Think sticky. Do you have a game plan to become sexy, efficient? Our vertical, user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our integrated nano-convergence and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be out-of-the-box? Think intra-nano-world-class. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the abstraction of bloatware. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for handling unplanned-for portals? Do you have a game plan to become robust, killer, end-to-end? We realize that it is better to enhance dynamically than to redefine seamlessly. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? It seems confused, but it's completely accurate! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of innovative intra-one-to-one content. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. We always engineer real-time models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? The CAD factor is B2B2C. What does the term "micro-convergence" really mean? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does the standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAD but our capability to monetize. Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic schemas and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. Think granular. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"?