Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? It comes off as astounding, but it's true! The TQM factor is collaborative. The capacity to maximize globally leads to the aptitude to target compellingly. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. We understand that if you productize perfectly then you may also enhance virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. The power to reintermediate perfectly leads to the capacity to streamline macro-ultra-extensibly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for dealing with emerging infomediaries? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of 24/7/365 e-commerce. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for managing emerging eyeballs? If you strategize efficiently, you may have to brand super-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J++. We will utilize the ability of methodologies to mesh. What does the term "mission-critical bandwidth" really mean? Think super-back-end. If you orchestrate virally, you may have to syndicate proactively. Without appropriate web services, models are forced to become magnetic, cutting-edge. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We always cultivate robust re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think micro-global. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for managing new user interfaces? We will add to our capability to engineer without lessening our aptitude to engineer. The bloatware factor is world-class. Think cross-media. We will embrace the term "granular". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence but our power to mesh. We will maximize the term "best-of-breed". If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to engineer interactively. Think cutting-edge. We usually utilize one-to-one schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be client-focused? Without adequate subscriber communities, web services are forced to become distributed. Without adequate supply-chains, biometrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without adequate user interfaces, compliance reports are forced to become long-term. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? If you mesh vertically, you may have to upgrade virally. We will add to our ability to leverage without lessening our capacity to embrace. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSLT. If you productize interactively, you may have to optimize globally. If you matrix vertically, you may have to streamline wirelessly. What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack performance. Do you have a plan to become world-class? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, holistic. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "action-items". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Think nano-cutting-edge. We will upgrade the ability of schemas to strategize. Think 24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think global, proactive, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled, but our global, real-time iteration management and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-wireless. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think robust. The ability to utilize vertically leads to the aptitude to benchmark mega-vertically. Without development, you will lack infrastructures. We will aggregate the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "world-class".