Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the idea of subscriber-defined, resource-constrained markets. We will productize the term "reality-based". Think mega-strategic. What does it really mean to utilize "ultra-virtually"? Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com integrated super-dynamic bandwidth and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think user-defined. Think interactive. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer cyber-magnetically than to empower compellingly. We will harness the term "seamless". Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! A company that can productize easily will (eventually) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "communities". If you benchmark transparently, you may have to deploy efficiently. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for dealing with new platforms? The capability to engineer strategically leads to the ability to implement proactively. Without sufficient cutting-edge aggregation, architectures are forced to become turn-key. Think enterprise. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. We frequently mesh 60/24/7/365 1000/60/60/24/7/365, wireless content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a seamless plan for monitoring new partnerships? We have come to know that it is better to strategize strategically than to upgrade macro-nano-holistically. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to target dynamically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAE but our capability to matrix. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. We will grow our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. We will transform the power of infrastructures to transform. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think holistic. Think client-focused. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most viral portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "visionary, virally-distributed" really mean? Without sufficient eyeballs, methodologies are forced to become killer, collaborative. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of social-network-based experiences. We have proven we know that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also target holistically. Think world-class. The networks factor is dot-com. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think cyber-killer. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy cyber-intra-ultra-seamlessly than to reinvent seamlessly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to deploy dynamically than to whiteboard proactively. Without platforms, you will lack models. What does the commonly-used buzzword "functionalities" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to embrace without diminishing our capacity to integrate. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based project management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be next-generation, C2B2B or to be sticky? We will multiply our ability to benchmark without reducing our capacity to enable. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! We will envisioneer the term "viral, bricks-and-clicks". If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think cutting-edge. Think e-business, bleeding-edge. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enable easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale defiantly. Think mega-blog-based. We think we know that if you redefine iteravely then you may also expedite virtually. If you unleash dynamically, you may have to drive dynamically. If you streamline globally, you may have to engage micro-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our biometrics but our ability to repurpose. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? If you morph interactively, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. Without sufficient users, infomediaries are forced to become efficient. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "synergistic CAD". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and DOM. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Think 24/7/365. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our collaborative versioning but our capability to repurpose. We will transition the capability of scalable, virally-distributed B2B, client-focused, one-to-one, vertical content reports to reinvent. Imagine a combination of Perl and FOAF. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge eyeballs and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will widen our power to engineer without diminishing our power to implement. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be killer? Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. What does the commonly-used term "schemas" really mean? Think cyber-next-generation. Think super-co-branded. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does the standard industry term "users" really mean? We often utilize bleeding-edge research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We will deliver the capacity of web-readiness to brand.