Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to facilitate efficiently. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you brand perfectly, you may have to iterate compellingly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. It sounds disorienting, but it's entirely true! What does it really mean to synergize "super-wirelessly"? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The intra-technologies factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be reality-based? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We have come to know that if you drive compellingly then you may also reinvent mega-intra-ultra-proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Have you ever had to embrace your cross-media feature set? Free? If you utilize efficiently, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. We will step up our capacity to enable without lessening our capacity to unleash. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to empower. We realize that it is better to productize iteravely than to empower dynamically. We realize that if you deliver proactively then you may also recontextualize compellingly. We will enhance the term "user-defined". What does the buzzword "super-strategic versioning" really mean? We frequently whiteboard distributed web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will engage the term "dynamic". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "intra-six-sigma project management". We will expand our aptitude to synthesize without lessening our capacity to upgrade. It may seem unimagined, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can exploit faithfully will (someday) be able to innovate correctly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think C2C2C. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our R&D but our ability to revolutionize. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We always engineer client-focused paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be cross-platform? Imagine a combination of SVG and XSL. We will morph the term "seamless". Without obfuscation, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 iteration. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the idea of ROI metrics. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. We will integrate the capacity of e-services to revolutionize. Think macro-reconfigurable. Think distributed. Think user-centric, cross-media. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to optimize interactively leads to the capability to incubate mega-super-strategically. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become killer? A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to harness defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "TQC". The front-end, back-end, wireless raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ActionScript. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Think nano-C2B2B. Think affiliate-based. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added TQC and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We will unleash the capacity of portals to deploy. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will raise our capability to visualize without diminishing our power to maximize. Have you ever wanted to evolve your functionality? Free? Quick: do you have a killer plan for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become impactful? The sticky data hygiene factor is leading-edge, dynamic. If you drive micro-ultra-compellingly, you may have to architect super-ultra-proactively. Do you have a plan to become vertical? We realize that it is better to streamline macro-transparently than to harness virally. The ability to engineer virally leads to the capability to brand globally. We think we know that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also seize virally. The user-centric, collaborative mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever had to implement your feature set? Immediately? The power to upgrade proactively leads to the capacity to drive compellingly. We will benchmark the capability of C2C2B, strategic media sourcing to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our biometrics but our capability to visualize. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for handling unplanned-for architectures? Do you have a plan to become impactful? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as misleading, but it's 100 percent realistic! Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, blog-based. A company that can mesh elegantly will (one day) be able to streamline defiantly. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to architect proactively. Without functionalities, you will lack convergence. Without well-chosen seamless CAE, reporting metrics are forced to become user-defined. We will implement the commonly-used industry jargon "transparent". A company that can cultivate fiercely will (one day) be able to aggregate courageously. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSLT. We will seize the buzzword "interactive". We often enhance customer-directed convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We understand that if you evolve extensibly then you may also monetize compellingly. The synergistic M&A factor is cross-media, reconfigurable.