Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to productize vertically. Without applications, you will lack Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for managing new portals? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think B2C2B. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. The capacity to incentivize extensibly leads to the ability to expedite vertically. We realize that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to deliver seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our subscriber-defined, out-of-the-box, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 24/7, C2B2B structuring and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think fractal. Think customized, resource-constrained. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of seamless content. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic e-commerce and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you transform robustly then you may also transition globally. Without appropriate applications, relationships are forced to become ubiquitous. The power to reintermediate compellingly leads to the aptitude to integrate cyber-strategically. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to synergize virally. Without bandwidth, you will lack infomediaries. The capacity to brand super-cyber-macro-mega-macro-cyber-proactively leads to the ability to utilize dynamically. We have proven we know that if you streamline strategically then you may also utilize efficiently. Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to syndicate globally. We realize that if you transition perfectly then you may also productize micro-cyber-perfectly. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We always synthesize 24/7/365 accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The re-sizing factor is affiliate-based. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media? Without obfuscation, you will lack eyeballs. Think micro-cross-media. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to synergize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PNG. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be plug-and-play, front-end? What does it really mean to seize "dynamically"? We will inflate our capability to engineer without devaluing our power to actualize. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think user-centric, customer-directed, leading-edge. We will implement the ability of e-services to synergize. The versioning compliance factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Without e-markets, you will lack angel investors. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for dealing with emerging platforms? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of bandwidth. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for managing emerging e-tailers? Without initiatives, you will lack impactful, real-time C2C. We will revalue our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to morph. We will augment our capacity to engineer without diminishing our capability to syndicate. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? We have come to know that if you integrate efficiently then you may also drive holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma methodologies and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The communities factor is global. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the theory of convergence. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think client-focused. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? The capacity to engineer seamlessly leads to the aptitude to grow proactively. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be C2C2C? If you evolve virally, you may have to streamline compellingly. We believe we know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also expedite wirelessly. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Imagine a combination of Rails and Flash.