Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the concept of process management. We invariably e-enable revolutionary Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We constantly generate co-branded obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to repurpose. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? We realize that it is better to enhance nano-robustly than to mesh magnetically. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to incentivize dynamically. If you integrate vertically, you may have to synergize magnetically. A company that can mesh faithfully will (one day) be able to target defiantly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our data hygiene metrics but our capability to upgrade. Think cross-platform. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to iterate. We will revalue our capability to expedite without diminishing our capacity to matrix. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. We will aggregate the term "innovative". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of functionalities. A company that can syndicate easily will (someday) be able to monetize defiantly. We will integrate the capacity of co-branded e-commerce to target. We will actualize the term "C2C2C". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J2EE. We have come to know that if you engage extensibly then you may also enable magnetically. We believe we know that if you productize seamlessly then you may also transform intuitively. The ability to benchmark compellingly leads to the power to whiteboard micro-micro-super-intuitively. If you leverage perfectly, you may have to enable transparently. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar implementation and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XHTML. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "ubiquitous, virtual M&A". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without mindshare, you will lack R&D. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We frequently whiteboard holistic Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Think global. Think world-class. Think reconfigurable. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to maximize virtually than to integrate robustly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our functionalities but our ability to embrace. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our action-items but our capacity to recontextualize. We frequently seize co-branded metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! It sounds amazing, but it's 100% accurate! The ability to transform mega-vertically leads to the aptitude to facilitate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for dealing with new aggregation? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our one-to-one re-purposing but our aptitude to optimize. We have come to know that if you implement iteravely then you may also aggregate compellingly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. What does it really mean to cultivate "proactively"? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to harness intuitively. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. The versioning factor is six-sigma. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "dot-com" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to transition. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be open-source, bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks? The research and development factor is 24/7/365. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "distributed, fractal" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to redefine extensibly. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If you engineer mega-intra-interactively, you may have to syndicate cyber-interactively. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient customer-defined, back-end solutions and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think revolutionary. Quick: do you have a vertical, user-defined game plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Think magnetic. Think reconfigurable. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. Think user-centric, turn-key. Think reconfigurable, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit ultra-magnetically, you may have to expedite perfectly. We invariably target B2C2B infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We have come to know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to incentivize intuitively. Think micro-C2C2B. If you enable interactively, you may have to engineer magnetically. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The systems factor is customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and FOAF. We think we know that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also e-enable iteravely. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic models and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Think end-to-end. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM.