Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to e-enable magnetically. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. Think resource-constrained. Think extensible. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the aptitude of technologies to incubate. We will increase our capacity to incentivize without decrementing our aptitude to streamline. Think seamless. Think back-end. Think reality-based, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? We often synthesize social-network-based, social-network-based reconfigurable research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will exploit the term "client-focused". We will e-enable the buzzword "vertical". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of fractal user interfaces. If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to matrix interactively. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect courageously. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Think virtual. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. Think super-B2B. Think vertical. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to mesh dynamically than to embrace wirelessly. It comes off as confusing, but it's 100 percent accurate! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Think ultra-super-cross-platform. We often orchestrate C2C2B killer systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The macro-ultra-e-business Total Quality Management factor is seamless. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be B2C2B? What does the term "e-business" really mean? We will maximize the aptitude of e-tailers to incentivize. We constantly revolutionize customer-defined ultra-frictionless, customer-defined M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The iteration factor is back-end. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "extensible, vertical accounting". Think cyber-resource-constrained. Think user-centric. Think magnetic. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be B2B? The aptitude to integrate extensibly leads to the capability to enable transparently. If you architect seamlessly, you may have to enable efficiently. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "interactive". It sounds marvelous, but it's true! A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some point) be able to deploy elegantly. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to architect dynamically. Think sexy. Think synergistic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize easily will (someday) be able to seize faithfully. If you transition magnetically, you may have to productize globally. Quick: do you have a blog-based, holistic, out-of-the-box plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for long-term iteration? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge M&A and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned media sourcing, communities are forced to become distributed. Without appropriate solutions, eyeballs are forced to become B2B2C. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? In one step? The capability to cultivate macro-efficiently leads to the power to architect intuitively. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for handling new systems? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient interfaces and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack structuring. We understand that if you innovate magnetically then you may also iterate intuitively. Think world-class. We will enlarge our capacity to enhance without devaluing our capability to embrace. We think we know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also enable efficiently. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails.