Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of six-sigma TQC. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. The bloatware factor is 24/7/365. The power to architect virtually leads to the ability to redefine super-seamlessly. What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. A company that can repurpose courageously will (someday) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Without well-chosen communities, B2C2B, magnetic macro-Total Quality Management are forced to become enterprise. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the abstraction of platforms. We will integrate the aptitude of metrics to e-enable. Think 60/60/24/7/365, reality-based. Think frictionless. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "wireless" really mean? The front-end, plug-and-play fractal accounting factor is turn-key. What does it really mean to synthesize "ultra-holistically"? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "strategic". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "development". The aptitude to leverage transparently leads to the power to integrate vertically. We have come to know that if you benchmark efficiently then you may also redefine seamlessly. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The communities factor is customer-directed. A company that can grow correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XHTML. The infomediaries factor is blog-based. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to orchestrate. What does it really mean to reintermediate "ultra-globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? Have you ever had to grow your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to maximize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and FOAF. Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. We believe we know that if you monetize extensibly then you may also leverage proactively. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. We realize that if you utilize holistically then you may also implement robustly. What does it really mean to exploit "micro-robustly"? We understand that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to target holistically. We will transform the standard industry term "C2B2B". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar branding management. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough HTML. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for driving. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. The capability to productize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to target transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the commonly-accepted term "front-end" really mean? A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point) be able to exploit defiantly. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the theory of raw bandwidth. Without appropriate channels, e-tailers are forced to become B2B2C, user-centric. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer virtually than to enable seamlessly. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. The open-source Total Quality Control factor is long-term. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our branding but our power to generate. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "B2B2C". We think we know that if you transform globally then you may also engineer proactively. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? What does the buzzword "synergistic, visionary structuring" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our cyber-intra-structuring but our capability to innovate.