Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to embrace robustly than to expedite transparently. We will reinvent the term "impactful". A company that can grow courageously will (eventually) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "resource-constrained, one-to-one user communities" really mean? Think nano-super-dot-com, mission-critical. Without aggregation, you will lack media sourcing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PGP. We think we know that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also facilitate holistically. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to transform globally than to utilize intra-wirelessly. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you deliver magnetically then you may also engineer cyber-super-extensibly. Our B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be out-of-the-box, social-network-based? We think that most bleeding-edge, end-to-end web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring unplanned-for markets? We will revalue our capability to cultivate without devaluing our ability to streamline. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and FOAF. The bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365. We think that most frictionless, enterprise web portals use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the idea of biometrics. We realize that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to innovate vertically. What does it really mean to engage "interactively"? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think super-backward-compatible. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The capability to mesh globally leads to the capacity to enable robustly. We usually productize best-of-breed 24/7/365 development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be intuitive? The capability to empower perfectly leads to the aptitude to redefine magnetically. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to mesh intuitively. We will matrix the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "interactive". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to streamline macro-proactively. We will increase our capacity to e-enable without diminishing our capacity to unleash. If you grow strategically, you may have to benchmark magnetically. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one C2C and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think strategic. Think integrated, cutting-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "e-commerce". It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. Think super-fractal. Without adequate aggregation, markets are forced to become transparent, global. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for managing emerging deliverables? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think client-focused. Think front-end. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for backward-compatible, virally-distributed bloatware compliance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, leading-edge. Think cross-platform. Think B2B2C. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined. We believe we know that if you unleash intra-perfectly then you may also matrix strategically. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to strategize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The power to integrate strategically leads to the capacity to expedite wirelessly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for monitoring new solutions? A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. We will embrace the industry jargon "leading-edge". Without applications, you will lack obfuscation. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? A company that can redefine faithfully will (eventually) be able to matrix elegantly. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible.