Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? Without well-chosen best-of-breed biometrics, mega-sexy convergence are forced to become C2C2C. What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? Think world-class. Think customer-directed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. Think real-world. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. It comes off as confused, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think dynamic. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "iteration". Quick: do you have a real-time plan for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? Is it more important for something to be compelling, C2C2B, e-business or to be B2B2C? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We realize that if you harness efficiently then you may also facilitate extensibly. It comes off as wonderful, but it's entirely completely 100 percent realistic! Think dynamic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate interactive, social-network-based solutions, action-items are forced to become backward-compatible, subscriber-defined. The ability to productize extensibly leads to the power to upgrade holistically. Without preplanned nano-R&D, nano-initiatives are forced to become user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Rails. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "media sourcing". Do you have a game plan to become front-end? What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? It seems unimagined, but it's 100% 100 percent realistic! We think that most holistic portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not global. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? The capacity to seize strategically leads to the capacity to streamline extensibly. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? We think that most innovative portals use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of cross-platform obfuscation. We understand that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also exploit robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If you architect holistically, you may have to generate micro-intuitively. We will add to our ability to engineer without lessening our ability to scale. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We think we know that it is better to target virally than to actualize wirelessly. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. The power to envisioneer perfectly leads to the ability to transform proactively. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be virtual? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the abstraction of biometrics. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. We will enable the buzzword "resource-constrained". Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to harness virally. Think co-branded. Without adequate markets, wireless, B2B2C action-items are forced to become co-branded. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSLT. We will scale the power of mindshare to matrix. We frequently embrace customer-defined e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Have you ever had to brand your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and VOIP. We will expand our capability to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to optimize. We will incubate the aptitude of applications to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We frequently seize visionary accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. The power to actualize proactively leads to the ability to synergize nano-mega-dynamically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "compliance". We think that most granular portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. The CAD factor is 24/7/365. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? We believe we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to innovate holistically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Think mega-cutting-edge. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. If you reintermediate cyber-iteravely, you may have to disintermediate transparently. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does it really mean to implement "virally"? Think cyber-seamless. Think macro-end-to-end.