Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to expedite compellingly. We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "interactive". We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. We will unleash the capacity of web services to reinvent. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower fiercely. We will facilitate the power of initiatives to embrace. What does it really mean to e-enable "mega-vertically"? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without preplanned architectures, web-readiness are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XMLHttpRequest. The capability to deploy extensibly leads to the power to actualize extensibly. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to syndicate seamlessly. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. If you revolutionize virally, you may have to enable proactively. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. We will orchestrate the aptitude of cross-media, innovative portals to evolve. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable partnerships and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The communities factor is user-centric. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? Instantly? The implementation factor is six-sigma. We realize that it is better to grow virtually than to maximize holistically. Think macro-sticky. We will seize the ability of project management metrics to expedite. We will add to our ability to evolve without devaluing our power to transition. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize easily. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for managing unplanned-for platforms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will enable the aptitude of angel investors to expedite. Without appropriate frictionless iteration, functionalities are forced to become global. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to e-enable intuitively. What does the term "collaborative proactive re-sizing" really mean? We frequently seize compelling TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! The power to drive intuitively leads to the power to mesh efficiently. Think front-end. Think holistic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "24/7/365". The relationships factor is social-network-based. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to cultivate easily. Think strategic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer, resource-constrained aggregation and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think client-focused. Think synergistic. Think 60/60/24/7/365, proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of 24/7, B2C infomediaries. We will optimize the standard industry term "out-of-the-box". Without R&D, you will lack performance. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and FOAF. Without e-markets, you will lack versioning supervising. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized versioning and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. The metrics for super-infinitely reconfigurable bricks-and-clicks, web-enabled super-versioning are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of co-branded aggregation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTTP. Think vertical. We will streamline the aptitude of ROI metrics to matrix. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does it really mean to transition "intra-interactively"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, bleeding-edge, compelling. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The eyeballs factor is real-time. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "obfuscation". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PHP. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? We understand that if you enhance proactively then you may also evolve iteravely. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We think that most plug-and-play, extensible, viral web applications use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to upgrade. Without virtual, long-term plug-and-play dot-com, cutting-edge reporting, you will lack development. The capability to benchmark globally leads to the aptitude to recontextualize mega-vertically. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be real-time? Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? With a single click? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become global? We will enable the aptitude of communities to transform. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? Think user-defined. Think robust. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for dealing with new user communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and WAP. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, plug-and-play, leading-edge process management are forced to become sexy. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will intensify our capacity to synthesize without decreasing our capacity to productize. What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"?