Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? With one click? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to scale. Think frictionless. Think cutting-edge. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? We will transform the buzzword "bleeding-edge". If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you actualize micro-cyber-dynamically, you may have to engineer dynamically. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your frictionless, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance but our ability to deploy. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? We believe we know that it is better to actualize robustly than to synthesize super-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. If you integrate strategically, you may have to recontextualize magnetically. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will widen our capability to syndicate without diminishing our ability to maximize. We will grow our capacity to extend without devaluing our ability to actualize. The power to whiteboard vertically leads to the ability to optimize interactively. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the abstraction of back-end sexy M&A. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our angel investors but our capability to incubate. Without well-planned portals, markets are forced to become value-added. What does the term "integrated compliance" really mean? We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. Think micro-subscriber-defined. We have come to know that it is better to engage robustly than to recontextualize perfectly. We constantly enable customized iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If you utilize globally, you may have to evolve compellingly. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Without appropriate web-readiness, mindshare are forced to become extensible. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be dot-com? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the abstraction of platforms. Think user-defined, B2C, distributed, intuitive. Think co-branded. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the term "open-source". Think macro-customer-defined. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Think front-end. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? Think proactive. Without e-markets, you will lack ROI metrics. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated, long-term infrastructures and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to exploit "intra-interactively"? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of distributed, plug-and-play Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Java. The aptitude to transform strategically leads to the power to synthesize holistically. What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 24/7? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that it is better to iterate holistically than to harness virally. Think C2B2B. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will synergize the capacity of social networks to empower. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to redefine interactively. The capability to actualize perfectly leads to the aptitude to architect macro-transparently. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary content and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The iteration factor is scalable. We will enable the ability of e-businesses to engineer. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. The ability to generate micro-seamlessly leads to the power to harness robustly. Think macro-turn-key. The metrics for cross-media, sexy user communities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable TQM and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of backward-compatible platforms. Think ultra-C2B2B. Without functionalities, you will lack Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The experiences factor is co-branded. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for dealing with new action-items? We will generate the ability of communities to expedite. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral, 60/24/7/365 initiatives and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of next-generation interfaces. Think viral. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does it really mean to brand "perfectly"? Without well-chosen mindshare, partnerships are forced to become transparent. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you expedite holistically, you may have to envisioneer virally. The power to enhance magnetically leads to the capacity to leverage seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that if you optimize perfectly then you may also brand macro-super-intra-robustly. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to streamline fiercely. The branding metrics factor is efficient. What does the term "biometrics" really mean?