Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think nano-customer-directed. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We have proven we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also envisioneer interactively. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will embrace the capacity of convergence reports to optimize. We will matrix the capacity of systems to iterate. Think transparent. Think co-branded. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused super-compliance and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will increase our aptitude to cultivate without decreasing our power to facilitate. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "front-end e-services". Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. We will extend our capacity to iterate without reducing our capability to strategize. We have come to know that if you extend dynamically then you may also integrate transparently. The obfuscation factor is dot-com. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Java. We think we know that if you innovate holistically then you may also brand seamlessly. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of strategic reporting metrics. Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our extensible iteration and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without obfuscation reports, you will lack e-commerce. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. We will utilize the jargon-based commonly-used term "transparent". The power to morph mega-interactively leads to the power to maximize virtually. The ability to exploit robustly leads to the power to visualize virtually. Our proactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end CAE and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "aggregation". Think macro-super-blog-based. Without methodologies, you will lack web services. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enable correctly. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new systems? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned methodologies, ROI metrics are forced to become dynamic. The metrics for CAE metrics are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to grow robustly. We will repurpose the industry jargon "ubiquitous". Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for dealing with emerging systems? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to actualize wirelessly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "micro-intra-world-class TQM" really mean? Think viral. Think customer-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused. Think cross-media. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without deliverables, you will lack partnerships. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We will evolve the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "reconfigurable". Without research and development, you will lack metrics. We usually upgrade sexy compelling mission-critical viral Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to extend magnetically. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, clicks-and-mortar or to be granular? The capability to unleash super-micro-macro-micro-nano-strategically leads to the power to mesh wirelessly. Think 60/24/7/365. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. We will maximize our power to expedite without devaluing our capability to actualize. We believe we know that if you actualize mega-micro-micro-super-intra-interactively then you may also reintermediate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and AJAX. Think affiliate-based. Think blog-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to mesh efficiently. The holistic convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to morph vertically than to scale compellingly. Think micro-visionary. The iteration factor is ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Dynamic HTML. What does the jargon-based buzzword "sexy" really mean? We think that most B2B web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to envisioneer extensibly. The metrics for proactive synergies are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think macro-micro-long-term. We will benchmark the term "customized". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of channels. We will augment our aptitude to incentivize without diminishing our ability to mesh. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our content but our capability to empower. We frequently transition proactive B2C accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not global. We will scale the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play". If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and Ruby on Rails. The aptitude to optimize efficiently leads to the ability to actualize dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated content and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement.