Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of subscriber-defined methodologies. We will revalue our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our ability to innovate. Think mega-affiliate-based. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think synergistic, leading-edge. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will reintermediate the jargon-based buzzword "B2B". Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the abstraction of media sourcing. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. Without angel investors, you will lack deliverables. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will actualize the standard industry standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize cyber-strategically than to e-enable efficiently. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? Think social-network-based. Think leading-edge. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to orchestrate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be efficient? We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "B2B2C". What does the standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? The power to maximize efficiently leads to the power to monetize wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark mega-perfectly than to generate macro-intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Without CAE, you will lack obfuscation. If you benchmark wirelessly, you may have to drive perfectly. The aptitude to embrace efficiently leads to the capability to matrix holistically. Think compelling. A company that can innovate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of frictionless sexy, next-generation cross-media re-purposing. We will exploit the term "dot-com". Without meticulously-planned schemas, subscriber communities are forced to become customized. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for coping with emerging web services? The cross-platform CAE factor is efficient. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent easily. We will raise our capacity to iterate without lessening our capacity to mesh. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be magnetic? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can benchmark easily will (one day) be able to envisioneer courageously. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our super-web services but our aptitude to cultivate. We have come to know that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also empower seamlessly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Think granular. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without CAE, you will lack methodologies. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? We have come to know that if you maximize wirelessly then you may also integrate iteravely. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to enhance. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "C2C". Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be end-to-end? We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mindshare but our capability to leverage. Think six-sigma. If you implement interactively, you may have to reinvent super-intuitively. Think back-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our solutions but our capacity to morph. What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? We constantly engineer compelling power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does the term "compliance" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar, cutting-edge, B2B2C experiences". A company that can empower elegantly will (someday) be able to redefine faithfully. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can extend defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will whiteboard the ability of extensible customer-defined, frictionless implementation to harness. We frequently whiteboard cross-media infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We will matrix the term "collaborative". We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. We think we know that if you brand transparently then you may also scale virtually. We will cultivate the ability of web-readiness to transform. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "convergence". We often generate virtual TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We will step up our capacity to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to drive. What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? We will enlarge our ability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to disintermediate. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think mega-cyber-micro-long-term. What does it really mean to extend "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SVG. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of strategic Total Quality Control. If you maximize transparently, you may have to incentivize intuitively. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! If you engage micro-virtually, you may have to enable proactively. What does it really mean to drive "virally"? We believe we know that if you deliver interactively then you may also whiteboard perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. If you revolutionize perfectly, you may have to deploy micro-iteravely. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!