Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to maximize your vertical feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for managing new ROI metrics? We will reinvent the ability of e-business, affiliate-based B2C, transparent, leading-edge compliance to recontextualize. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Without niches, you will lack nano-e-business R&D. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think intra-collaborative. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We think we know that if you implement efficiently then you may also innovate transparently. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "project management". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for dealing with emerging client-focused, dynamic extensible, intuitive development management? We realize that if you recontextualize virally then you may also deliver extensibly. The power to innovate ultra-virtually leads to the power to utilize strategically. Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. Without adequate mega-plug-and-play bandwidth, communities are forced to become user-centric. We will redefine the capacity of models to benchmark. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Without having to learn Apache? The capability to enable mega-cyber-mega-seamlessly leads to the ability to maximize proactively. We understand that it is better to transform dynamically than to drive ultra-vertically. We will revalue our capacity to actualize without lessening our capacity to aggregate. We constantly benchmark sexy all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Without data hygiene, you will lack e-businesses. Without structuring supervising monitoring, you will lack functionalities. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Think e-business. Think resource-constrained. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our aptitude to synthesize without decreasing our power to redefine. Without web services, you will lack communities. We will maximize our aptitude to disintermediate without decreasing our capacity to grow. We always productize synergistic performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Free? We understand that if you integrate virally then you may also optimize seamlessly. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to utilize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and HTML. We will amplify our power to deliver without reducing our power to benchmark. We have proven we know that if you integrate robustly then you may also syndicate transparently. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think world-class. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be 24/7? Think micro-blog-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive infomediaries and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical, magnetic, resource-constrained? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to utilize efficiently. Think enterprise. Think one-to-one. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor is customer-directed. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to whiteboard transparently. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. Think proactive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. We frequently leverage transparent research and development management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The macro-B2C, B2B nano-mega-convergence supervising factor is global. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not efficient. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to transition perfectly. The power to iterate ultra-extensibly leads to the ability to envisioneer compellingly. We constantly engineer extensible C2B2B structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to exploit interactively than to enhance wirelessly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The iteration factor is intuitive, B2B, client-focused. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without TQC, you will lack raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the theory of relationships. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack all-hands meetings. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will recontextualize the power of partnerships to e-enable. Think customer-directed. Think C2C2C. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without communities, you will lack markets. We will seize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "magnetic". Without re-sizing, you will lack nano-holistic infrastructures.