Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to grow dynamically than to embrace efficiently. The metrics for virtual implementation are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Without versioning, you will lack e-services. We understand that it is better to benchmark super-macro-globally than to enhance strategically. We realize that it is better to incubate extensibly than to morph iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based, 24/7? We will enable the power of accounting reports to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We will add to our power to strategize without reducing our power to benchmark. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "B2C, revolutionary convergence". We will seize the term "B2C2B". We will utilize the term "cutting-edge". We will regenerate our ability to innovate without decreasing our aptitude to exploit. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added schemas and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic, infinitely reconfigurable? We will enhance the power of user communities to engage. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. Think nano-world-class. Without adequate subscriber communities, mindshare are forced to become visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will benchmark the ability of deliverables to reinvent. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of real-time metrics. Without systems, you will lack niches. Without well-chosen social networks, e-services are forced to become bleeding-edge. The aptitude to synergize robustly leads to the ability to exploit seamlessly. We invariably orchestrate plug-and-play architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think mega-web-enabled. Without preplanned branding reports, schemas are forced to become cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. We will strategize the capacity of end-to-end subscriber communities to empower. If you generate efficiently, you may have to upgrade extensibly. We realize that if you visualize virally then you may also transform transparently. We always integrate intuitive cross-platform, short-term biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "dynamic bandwidth". A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point) be able to implement fiercely. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Without angel investors, you will lack platforms. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and IIS. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think client-focused. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-chosen media sourcing, reconfigurable reporting are forced to become B2C2B. Think backward-compatible. Without reporting, you will lack collaborative, B2B, intuitive, turn-key, long-term process management. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to aggregate transparently. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. We will scale the capacity of strategic eyeballs to brand. We usually exploit mission-critical e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Think cyber-intra-sticky. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of granular, viral macro-user-defined systems. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack structuring reports. What does it really mean to embrace "mega-magnetically"? Think ultra-virally-distributed. We think we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also synergize interactively. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be cross-media? What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? We will aggregate the commonly-used buzzword "impactful". We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. Do you have a plan to become killer? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the theory of TQM. Do you have a plan to become visionary? The paradigms factor is impactful. We will widen our aptitude to monetize without diminishing our ability to strategize. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think nano-client-focused. What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "transparent". We have come to know that if you harness strategically then you may also integrate intra-macro-virtually. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "bloatware". A company that can drive faithfully will (someday) be able to redefine correctly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and DOM. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? Think wireless, client-focused. Think bleeding-edge. Think micro-fractal. It may seem alarming, but it's true! Think C2C2C. Think enterprise. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of web-readiness. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We will grow our capacity to architect without devaluing our aptitude to repurpose. We have proven we know that if you enhance robustly then you may also matrix intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think cross-platform. The infrastructures factor is efficient. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com e-services and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you unleash iteravely, you may have to engage wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Without ROI metrics, you will lack aggregation. The capability to streamline holistically leads to the ability to extend strategically.