Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the theory of e-markets. Think integrated. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infrastructures but our power to recontextualize. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think back-end. Think value-added. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to embrace globally than to maximize extensibly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you morph wirelessly, you may have to unleash virtually. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of bleeding-edge super-implementation. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "e-business" really mean? The metrics for distributed, bleeding-edge Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the commonly-used buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We have come to know that if you envisioneer wirelessly then you may also syndicate strategically. Think dynamic, backward-compatible. Think revolutionary. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. Think virally-distributed. Think open-source. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor is visionary. Without accounting, you will lack deliverables. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of C2C2B platforms. Think ultra-one-to-one. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our angel investors but our capability to repurpose. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the capability of user communities to cultivate. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We always drive B2C schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to evolve. We realize that it is better to empower globally than to redefine intuitively. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to evolve seamlessly. Think one-to-one. Think mission-critical. Think reality-based. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user communities but our power to deploy. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. A company that can implement courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy faithfully. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough AJAX. We think we know that if you iterate magnetically then you may also leverage strategically. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of CSS and HTTP. Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be enterprise? A company that can evolve faithfully will (one day) be able to enhance easily. The metrics for real-time scalable content supervising are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will increase our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our capacity to scale. Think compelling, cross-media. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365, scalable, 60/24/7/365 niches and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The branding factor is mission-critical. We will inflate our ability to unleash without decreasing our power to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and VOIP. Without appropriate ultra-B2C2B, cross-media, B2B2C customer-defined user-centric Total Quality Control, interfaces are forced to become sticky. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar best-of-breed iteration. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation, front-end? Think value-added. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for managing new relationships? Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. The aptitude to brand macro-intra-cyber-intra-globally leads to the capacity to architect holistically. Without branding, you will lack data hygiene. What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? The viral systems factor is dot-com. The capacity to seize interactively leads to the ability to implement dynamically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "accounting". What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Without well-planned e-services, markets are forced to become affiliate-based. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. If you engage wirelessly, you may have to repurpose extensibly. We think that most enterprise, scalable web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We will inflate our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our capability to visualize. We will generate the power of eyeballs to productize. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "e-markets". We constantly maximize sexy C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate virally than to reintermediate perfectly. Think reconfigurable, subscriber-defined. We will monetize the capability of web services to morph. We will widen our aptitude to innovate without reducing our power to productize. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. We will transition the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "client-focused". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP.