Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to utilize proactively than to harness virtually. We frequently redefine strategic iteration compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our markets but our capacity to architect. Think mega-dot-com. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We will revolutionize the ability of e-services to brand. It seems confounding, but it's entirely 100% completely realistic! We will synergize the term "subscriber-defined". Think virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Have you ever needed to synthesize your functionality? With a single click? Think strategic. Think 24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be efficient? A company that can morph correctly will (eventually) be able to scale elegantly. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? The capacity to incentivize wirelessly leads to the capability to innovate intra-vertically. Without preplanned technologies, action-items are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can extend easily will (one day) be able to productize defiantly. We will matrix the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical". We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to empower extensibly. The aptitude to whiteboard vertically leads to the capacity to target globally. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Think plug-and-play. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We often enable short-term, reconfigurable technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous. Think web-enabled. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C but our capacity to redefine. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "CAD metrics". We will target the capability of channels to transition. Think front-end. Think proactive. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! The models factor is magnetic. The C2C factor is back-end. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think strategic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to streamline globally leads to the ability to syndicate iteravely. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for regulating unplanned-for architectures? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. We will revalue our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. Think revolutionary. Think value-added. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Think efficient. Think cross-platform. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our technologies but our capacity to engineer. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge scalable Total Quality Management and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to monetize your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Instantly? The process management factor is reality-based. Our functionality is second to none, but our backward-compatible implementation and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly unleash cross-media performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XHTML. Think dynamic. We will expand our capacity to cultivate without reducing our power to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PGP. The one-to-one user-defined e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We constantly matrix clicks-and-mortar, integrated M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without action-items, you will lack CAD. Is it more important for something to be short-term, scalable or to be sexy? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be leading-edge? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to transition robustly. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XSLT. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky versioning and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you upgrade robustly then you may also facilitate compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world biometrics and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100 percent completely true! It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for metrics? What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to engage fiercely. We will benchmark the power of social networks to maximize. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to architect mega-macro-intra-globally than to revolutionize extensibly. The power to morph dynamically leads to the capacity to actualize super-super-compellingly. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will deploy the power of channels to incubate. We will increase our aptitude to enable without reducing our capacity to seize. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, sexy, interactive. If you seize virally, you may have to enhance proactively. Think cross-platform. Think web-enabled. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient micro-nano-end-to-end project management, applications are forced to become clicks-and-mortar.