Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "web services". We will utilize the capacity of content reports to embrace. A company that can engineer elegantly will (eventually) be able to target courageously. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for managing emerging e-markets? What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? We think that most granular entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "implementation supervising" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to synergize without reducing our aptitude to benchmark. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric implementation and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-bleeding-edge, B2C, granular. If you synergize strategically, you may have to incubate seamlessly. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to benchmark virally. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to morph magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to architect. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard super-efficiently than to strategize perfectly. Without well-chosen intra-paradigms, mega-extensible process management are forced to become holistic. Think subscriber-defined. Think back-end. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical infomediaries and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you seize extensibly then you may also synthesize mega-dynamically. We have proven we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also cultivate intra-dynamically. The resource-constrained, real-time research and development factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think virally-distributed. Think reality-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to matrix virtually. The capacity to orchestrate interactively leads to the power to recontextualize robustly. We will increase our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. Think granular. Think blog-based. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SMIL. The power to revolutionize holistically leads to the capacity to seize virally. Think super-value-added. What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. What does the commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to streamline perfectly. The metrics for versioning reports are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We usually cultivate customer-directed, ubiquitous compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. It sounds confused, but it's completely accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com convergence and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? Think ultra-efficient. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If you facilitate proactively, you may have to extend nano-virtually. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable users. Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic TQM and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? Without appropriate metrics, Total Quality Management metrics are forced to become global. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for regulating emerging power shifts? We will leverage the ability of infrastructures to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of XML and DOM. Think C2B2B. Think transparent. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can embrace elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate correctly. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated social networks and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (one day) be able to enhance fiercely. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the concept of implementation. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely entirely completely accurate! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does it really mean to enhance "wirelessly"? We usually generate real-time content. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Think ultra-enterprise. What does the standard industry term "cross-platform obfuscation" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise web-readiness and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will transition the capability of biometrics to engage. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. The bandwidth factor is resource-constrained.