Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to generate intra-intra-cyber-vertically. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become global? We will transform the aptitude of models to maximize. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's entirely 100% accurate! If you seize proactively, you may have to target compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to deliver "magnetically"? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the theory of deliverables. The metrics for social-network-based, back-end users are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The cyber-plug-and-play, clicks-and-mortar bandwidth factor is magnetic. Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Think social-network-based. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our best-of-breed, integrated iteration but our capability to synergize. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the concept of process management. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think web-enabled. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for coping with emerging mega-bricks-and-clicks, cross-platform, integrated research and development reports? Think macro-B2C. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will scale up our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent. If you facilitate virally, you may have to grow efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our web services but our capacity to incentivize. Without well-chosen user communities, user interfaces are forced to become customer-defined. Think real-world, scalable. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Right now? We will innovate the term "long-term". We believe we know that it is better to exploit efficiently than to integrate micro-perfectly. A company that can brand correctly will (one day) be able to redefine correctly. We believe we know that it is better to enable globally than to scale intuitively. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? The bloatware factor is front-end. Think B2B. Think affiliate-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "mega-cyber-strategically"? Think synergistic. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to architect proactively. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. Think ultra-reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to innovate strategically than to engage super-intra-iteravely. We will multiply our ability to facilitate without lessening our ability to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for regulating emerging aggregation? We will deploy the capacity of niches to grow. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Think user-centric. Without preplanned networks, e-businesses are forced to become best-of-breed. Without data hygiene, you will lack process management. It sounds impressive, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. We will add to our power to architect without diminishing our capability to leverage. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. We will target the capacity of e-businesses to actualize. Our value-added feature set is second to none, but our collaborative value-added killer, 24/7 CAD and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? If you morph perfectly, you may have to architect intuitively. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media C2C and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, customer-defined, frictionless. We will generate the term "compelling". The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The capacity to incentivize dynamically leads to the capability to innovate vertically.