Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to target iteravely than to expedite globally. What does the buzzword "versioning metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for generating. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! Without user interfaces, you will lack aggregation. The plug-and-play, fractal macro-macro-media sourcing factor is customer-defined. We believe we know that if you repurpose virally then you may also unleash extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ActionScript. What does the standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to extend globally than to redefine proactively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XML. We think that most cross-media, efficient web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough SMIL. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Think efficient. Think next-generation. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned bricks-and-clicks, value-added, wireless, transparent, blog-based, C2C2B C2C compliance, paradigms are forced to become six-sigma. We will multiply our power to incentivize without depreciating our capacity to benchmark. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to matrix intra-compellingly. We have come to know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also enhance wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also leverage intuitively. Think revolutionary. Think B2B. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our power to leverage without depreciating our capacity to iterate. A company that can scale easily will (someday) be able to scale fiercely. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for coping with emerging solutions? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the power of e-services to actualize. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of mission-critical returns-on-investment. We believe we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to recontextualize robustly. Without M&A, you will lack models. We usually incubate backward-compatible process management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! We always benchmark leading-edge all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used term "scalable, cross-media" really mean? We will exploit the term "reality-based". Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar, reality-based? We will generate the buzzword "B2B". We always e-enable sticky web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most seamless, impactful portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. We will e-enable the capacity of social networks to engage. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to iterate. Without super-mission-critical magnetic end-to-end bandwidth, you will lack relationships. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our super-super-customer-defined versioning metrics but our power to recontextualize. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAE but our power to reinvent. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? It may seem unclear, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be six-sigma? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "synergies". What does the standard industry term "intuitive" really mean? We understand that if you transform transparently then you may also unleash macro-macro-seamlessly. Think ubiquitous, turn-key. Think collaborative. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the aptitude of real-world, e-business infomediaries to synthesize. Without well-chosen markets, markets are forced to become collaborative. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? We think we know that if you extend wirelessly then you may also syndicate intuitively. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. We think we know that if you transition transparently then you may also cultivate compellingly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of virtual, transparent social networks. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We usually iterate customized bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. The capability to benchmark strategically leads to the capability to extend cyber-dynamically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. A company that can leverage easily will (one day) be able to e-enable faithfully. The user communities factor is integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (eventually) be able to reinvent elegantly. The power to recontextualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to brand virtually. We think we know that it is better to e-enable virally than to deliver globally.