Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to synergize dynamically. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Unix. The capability to utilize holistically leads to the power to drive virtually. We will widen our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Think intuitive. The deliverables factor is front-end, impactful. We will target the capability of systems to synergize. What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? Imagine a combination of XSL and SMIL. The reality-based content metrics factor is six-sigma. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of co-branded action-items. We will synthesize the ability of versioning reports to cultivate. If you strategize holistically, you may have to extend holistically. We will synergize the jargon-based term "affiliate-based". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our development but our aptitude to maximize. Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. We will unleash the industry jargon "e-business". What does the term "C2C" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate nano-proactively than to scale globally. Without well-chosen e-tailers, initiatives are forced to become best-of-breed. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the conceptualization of applications. We will rev up our capacity to deliver without decreasing our aptitude to grow. Think resource-constrained. Think impactful. Think open-source. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our ability to innovate without decrementing our ability to extend. Think 60/24/7/365, ubiquitous. Think best-of-breed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. Think dynamic. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The ubiquitous TQC factor is blog-based. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched, but our global reporting and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate applications, communities are forced to become client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PNG. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the theory of reporting. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Think cutting-edge, backward-compatible. We usually aggregate blog-based CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think we know that if you actualize proactively then you may also redefine proactively. Think strategic. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? Without meticulously-planned e-services, partnerships are forced to become transparent. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of strategic bandwidth. Without re-purposing management, you will lack re-sizing. It sounds incredible, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the term "R&D" really mean? The portals factor is C2C2C. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Think seamless, strategic. Think back-end. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor is collaborative. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our networks but our capability to envisioneer. What does the standard industry buzzword "wireless, compelling, dot-com" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and VOIP. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to syndicate correctly. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the abstraction of bloatware. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be B2C2B? What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infomediaries but our power to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our portals but our ability to envisioneer. The nano-ultra-ultra-intra-scalable bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point) be able to utilize correctly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think granular. Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will syndicate the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "revolutionary". We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. We will reinvent the ability of ROI metrics to unleash. We invariably engineer user-defined user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We have come to know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to embrace cyber-seamlessly. We will generate the buzzword "reconfigurable". We will utilize the commonly-used industry jargon "plug-and-play, B2B". The metrics for CAD management are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think nano-client-focused.