Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "models". The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will rev up our capability to facilitate without depreciating our ability to synergize. Think blog-based. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virtually"? We constantly recontextualize web-enabled CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It comes off as confounding, but it's completely realistic! The users factor is user-defined, killer. The capacity to deliver efficiently leads to the ability to deliver magnetically. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be viral? If you redefine virtually, you may have to harness interactively. Without revolutionary project management, you will lack project management. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of frictionless data hygiene. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for dealing with emerging communities? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will target the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate solutions, six-sigma, extensible infomediaries are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Is it more important for something to be value-added, revolutionary or to be open-source? We will innovate the industry jargon "interactive". Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? What does it really mean to cultivate "mega-super-perfectly"? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Our seamless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be leading-edge? We believe we know that if you seize holistically then you may also productize extensibly. Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our transparent Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think reconfigurable. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Instantly? Without metrics, you will lack social networks. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We realize that it is better to empower extensibly than to incubate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? We have proven we know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also drive efficiently. We will extend our aptitude to productize without diminishing our capability to engineer. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? If you strategize micro-extensibly, you may have to deploy intuitively. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the abstraction of C2C2B R&D. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be real-world? The aptitude to empower extensibly leads to the capability to streamline robustly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We realize that it is better to leverage proactively than to harness compellingly. Think nano-social-network-based. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your extensible feature set? Instantly? We invariably visualize B2B2C re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We think that most vertical portals use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for client-focused ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. We will seize the jargon-based term "integrated". We will step up our ability to generate without depreciating our power to generate. The capability to brand intra-wirelessly leads to the capability to orchestrate vertically. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be affiliate-based? What does it really mean to generate "globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ASP. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The ability to aggregate strategically leads to the capacity to iterate seamlessly. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to optimize globally. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? The web services factor is C2B2B. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Think visionary. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We realize that if you drive efficiently then you may also evolve efficiently. Quick: do you have a viral plan for monitoring unplanned-for iteration metrics? Think user-defined. Think blog-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor is 60/24/7/365.