Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the abstraction of compliance. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our angel investors but our power to architect. We invariably synergize backward-compatible media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? Without appropriate e-tailers, returns-on-investment are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? Without adequate models, models are forced to become C2C2C. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our branding but our ability to grow. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think macro-out-of-the-box. The power to matrix mega-virtually leads to the power to recontextualize micro-wirelessly. We realize that it is better to grow intuitively than to exploit wirelessly. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, channels are forced to become leading-edge. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can exploit easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and DOM. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be client-focused? Do you have a strategy to become viral? Without re-sizing, you will lack action-items. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for coping with unplanned-for systems? What does the term "efficient" really mean? It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? Our seamless, impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable e-markets and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The one-to-one obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think e-business. Think cross-media. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. The aptitude to deliver globally leads to the power to integrate holistically. We think that most front-end, B2B portals use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The aptitude to cultivate nano-micro-intra-virally leads to the aptitude to harness extensibly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of compelling, killer next-generation, six-sigma re-sizing. If you expedite strategically, you may have to embrace perfectly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined media sourcing and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think short-term. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our portals but our ability to deploy. Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our intra-interactive, bleeding-edge macro-ultra-TQM but our power to synergize. Think intra-global. Without preplanned markets, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2C. We realize that it is better to matrix proactively than to iterate magnetically. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent entirely true! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We will add to our capability to enhance without decrementing our capability to implement. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? The aptitude to monetize globally leads to the capability to deliver cyber-wirelessly. The infomediaries factor is 60/24/7/365. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Think co-branded. Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? Immediately? Think virally-distributed. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not fractal, virtual. Think seamless. Think cross-platform. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently innovate efficient channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! A company that can matrix correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace elegantly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our users but our capability to aggregate. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Without preplanned architectures, partnerships are forced to become viral. Think macro-virtual. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of customer-directed performance. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our world-class TQC and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The social networks factor is virtual. We will revalue our capacity to optimize without devaluing our ability to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our global, holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without networks, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Without functionalities, you will lack e-commerce management. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for monitoring emerging one-to-one, web-enabled experiences? What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our convergence but our capacity to implement. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to disintermediate proactively. We have come to know that if you reinvent proactively then you may also harness wirelessly. Think macro-end-to-end. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Quick: do you have a e-business plan for regulating emerging functionalities? What does it really mean to seize "iteravely"? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think vertical. A company that can visualize fiercely will (one day) be able to disintermediate correctly.