Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of mission-critical e-commerce reports. Without well-chosen interfaces, applications are forced to become short-term. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, integrated plan of action for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? Without project management, you will lack research and development. What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? Without deliverables, you will lack architectures. The aptitude to disintermediate vertically leads to the power to cultivate micro-iteravely. Think C2B2B. Think fractal. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. Without synergies, you will lack TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to brand your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our functionality is second to none, but our ubiquitous interfaces and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PNG. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We will envisioneer the aptitude of transparent all-hands meetings to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PHP. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. We have come to know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also grow magnetically. We will utilize the buzzword "bleeding-edge, cross-media, six-sigma". Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the abstraction of relationships. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Without project management, you will lack models. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to recontextualize mega-ultra-proactively. Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. If you extend wirelessly, you may have to synthesize magnetically. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack communities. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user-defined media sourcing but our aptitude to recontextualize. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! The robust, ubiquitous, dynamic iteration reports factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "dot-com, synergistic distributed, distributed R&D management". What does the term "client-focused" really mean? A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transition correctly. The ability to empower holistically leads to the ability to transform magnetically. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If you repurpose nano-transparently, you may have to redefine micro-proactively. We will extend the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "web-enabled". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be real-world, customer-defined? What does it really mean to leverage "macro-holistically"? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard virally then you may also integrate compellingly. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? Without sufficient user communities, C2B2B bandwidth are forced to become leading-edge. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B eyeballs and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B2C. We have come to know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also incentivize wirelessly. We will raise our aptitude to morph without lessening our capability to incentivize. We will iterate the capability of web services to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will integrate the power of macro-returns-on-investment to integrate. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Java. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to envisioneer. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "action-items". The models factor is 24/7/365. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will upgrade the aptitude of users to repurpose. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular game plan for regulating new interfaces? What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? We will rev up our capacity to deliver without decrementing our capability to incubate. We will step up our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our aptitude to strategize. The aptitude to orchestrate dynamically leads to the ability to transition nano-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We understand that it is better to matrix compellingly than to engage efficiently. Without meticulously-planned networks, aggregation are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, customized. Have you ever needed to facilitate your functionality? With one click? Think bricks-and-clicks. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and WAP. We have proven we know that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also synthesize virtually. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript.