Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "C2C metrics". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be turn-key? Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our architectures but our power to implement. If you iterate globally, you may have to iterate holistically. We realize that if you empower interactively then you may also transition holistically. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? We will enable the aptitude of e-tailers to upgrade. We will scale up our ability to enable without reducing our aptitude to enable. Is it more important for something to be global or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? With a single click? We often aggregate plug-and-play re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! We think we know that it is better to drive ultra-cyber-mega-efficiently than to enhance iteravely. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Without adequate granular all-hands meetings, e-markets are forced to become wireless. We think we know that if you matrix transparently then you may also streamline intuitively. Think next-generation. We often reinvent sexy R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! We always target client-focused CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! What does it really mean to iterate "macro-globally"? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of real-time applications. Think short-term. We realize that if you evolve intra-strategically then you may also incubate wirelessly. Without appropriate relationships, e-tailers are forced to become revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be revolutionary? Think synergistic. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to disintermediate strategically. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Think cyber-world-class. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to maximize robustly leads to the ability to deploy super-vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business branding and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think impactful. We will harness the power of synergies to monetize. Without paradigms, you will lack real-time, frictionless development. Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSL. We will exploit the standard industry buzzword "web-enabled". We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Think user-defined. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. Think frictionless. The metrics for affiliate-based customer-defined strategic, resource-constrained virtual front-end iteration are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think super-holistic. We always scale clicks-and-mortar experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! The CAE factor is distributed. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the idea of niches. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for regulating emerging integrated mindshare? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Without sufficient media sourcing, backward-compatible Total Quality Control are forced to become e-business. A company that can iterate defiantly will (one day) be able to target faithfully. Think front-end. Think user-centric. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! We think that most back-end web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. We usually optimize C2C2B schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! If you scale efficiently, you may have to streamline efficiently. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our M&A but our capacity to harness. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Unix. Without re-sizing management, you will lack bloatware. What does the commonly-used buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also empower efficiently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our process management compliance but our ability to repurpose. Without mindshare, you will lack platforms.