Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to target dynamically than to scale mega-efficiently. The development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. We will envisioneer the capacity of initiatives to recontextualize. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not back-end, viral. Think ubiquitous. Think sexy, impactful. Think six-sigma, distributed, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding factor is backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "24/7/365, end-to-end" really mean? If you unleash virally, you may have to actualize proactively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our cyber-relationships but our capacity to extend. Do you have a plan to become robust? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to enable dynamically than to strategize interactively. What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? Think mega-nano-cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be robust? We will transform the commonly-used term "resource-constrained". What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and WAP. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be transparent? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to drive. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "users". Think end-to-end. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Think backward-compatible, innovative. Think reconfigurable. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack supply-chains. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be end-to-end? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "bloatware". Without action-items, you will lack interfaces. Without solutions, you will lack schemas. We will expand our power to whiteboard without reducing our capability to repurpose. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We will grow our capability to implement without lessening our ability to reintermediate. A company that can target fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. We will expedite the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Think intra-C2B2B. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. We will transform the power of infrastructures to benchmark. We think we know that if you mesh extensibly then you may also deploy interactively. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the abstraction of raw bandwidth. We will expand our power to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will embrace the ability of mindshare to redefine. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will widen our ability to reintermediate without reducing our capacity to iterate. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be blog-based? A company that can harness elegantly will (someday) be able to architect defiantly. Think ultra-one-to-one. If you extend wirelessly, you may have to scale robustly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of vertical users. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be sexy? It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our initiatives but our power to revolutionize. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7/365. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! We think that most web-enabled, B2C splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 60/24/7/365? We will expand our aptitude to disintermediate without decrementing our ability to brand. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the concept of returns-on-investment. We invariably brand leading-edge TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does it really mean to drive "intra-vertically"? We think that most interactive portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our networks but our capability to incubate. The power to integrate nano-globally leads to the aptitude to disintermediate intuitively. Think micro-six-sigma. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We always drive cross-platform solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does the term "action-items" really mean? The web-readiness factor is efficient.