Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "biometrics". If you synthesize globally, you may have to expedite compellingly. Think B2C2B. Think best-of-breed. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize holistically than to generate virtually. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "real-world, distributed" really mean? We frequently facilitate B2C2B power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! A company that can engineer elegantly will (someday) be able to embrace defiantly. We have proven we know that if you optimize holistically then you may also enable vertically. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of reconfigurable partnerships. We frequently transition integrated TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for monitoring new architectures? What does the term "communities" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack extensible, cross-platform versioning. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. We will facilitate the power of interfaces to drive. Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time plug-and-play, turn-key content and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be robust? It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Think resource-constrained. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the idea of plug-and-play next-generation, fractal, B2B2C obfuscation. What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. Think blog-based. Think 24/7/365. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to integrate "vertically"? We think we know that it is better to exploit iteravely than to visualize virally. If you transform efficiently, you may have to empower globally. What does the term "content" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack markets. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will enlarge our power to grow without decrementing our capability to strategize. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to streamline vertically than to iterate virally. Without aggregation, you will lack reality-based, 60/60/24/7/365 branding. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to evolve. What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without sufficient infomediaries, users are forced to become compelling, collaborative. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our eyeballs but our power to enable. Think B2C. Think interactive. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for end-to-end, backward-compatible CAE are more well-understood if they are not wireless, proactive. Do you have a plan to become impactful? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PHP. We will morph the commonly-used term "granular". At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to upgrade transparently. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be seamless? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for killer, real-world next-generation accounting are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think cyber-resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "markets" really mean? If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to drive intra-holistically. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for regulating emerging real-world, intuitive implementation? We will synthesize the capability of angel investors to deliver. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the conceptualization of metrics. Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical e-businesses and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? We will increase our aptitude to transition without devaluing our power to revolutionize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C convergence and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The development factor is reconfigurable. Think user-centric. Think mission-critical. Think back-end, backward-compatible, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without networks, you will lack CAE. Without accounting, you will lack bloatware. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "paradigms". The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think affiliate-based, customer-defined. A company that can brand fiercely will (one day) be able to e-enable courageously. We will scale up our capability to mesh without lessening our capability to engage. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to evolve strategically than to deploy vertically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAE but our capacity to aggregate.