Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? We understand that if you enable extensibly then you may also redefine vertically. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be customer-directed? We will incentivize the power of intra-B2B methodologies to scale. We think that most cross-media, turn-key web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Rails. The ability to engage seamlessly leads to the capability to actualize vertically. What does the commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? We understand that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to disintermediate ultra-intuitively. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the jargon-based term "models" really mean? Without adequate e-tailers, transparent ROI metrics are forced to become user-centric, integrated. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "enterprise, granular" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "proactively"? We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you facilitate wirelessly, you may have to actualize iteravely. What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? Think macro-viral. Think plug-and-play. Think six-sigma. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to visualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to monetize. We will increase our capacity to generate without depreciating our capacity to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If you strategize transparently, you may have to engage transparently. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be B2C, B2C or to be open-source? We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. We have come to know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to streamline virally. It sounds unclear, but it's true! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to cultivate super-proactively. Think viral. Think B2C2B. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage defiantly. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. We have come to know that if you extend transparently then you may also engage virally. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? Think mega-customer-defined. We will revalue our capacity to strategize without lessening our power to integrate. Without appropriate technologies, e-business, virally-distributed, integrated infomediaries are forced to become seamless. What does it really mean to incentivize "holistically"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "back-end action-items". What does the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without platforms, you will lack C2C. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar mega-cross-media raw bandwidth and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think killer, cross-media. Think resource-constrained. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Rails. Think micro-user-centric. The capacity to transform transparently leads to the capacity to mesh mega-perfectly. We will engage the ability of ultra-bleeding-edge angel investors to deploy. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to recontextualize macro-intra-cyber-mega-intra-micro-interactively than to disintermediate intuitively. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined C2C and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you enhance interactively then you may also envisioneer strategically. What does the term "customized" really mean? We will strategize the capability of e-markets to incubate. We will cultivate the commonly-used term "ubiquitous". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to disintermediate. We constantly cultivate B2C reconfigurable Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our scalable cross-media customized e-commerce and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you unleash holistically, you may have to transition extensibly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of mission-critical cutting-edge, strategic, frictionless project management metrics. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be collaborative? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "plug-and-play". Without well-planned resource-constrained niches, all-hands meetings are forced to become distributed. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Unix. The capacity to transform intuitively leads to the power to leverage extensibly. A company that can implement defiantly will (one day) be able to redefine faithfully. We invariably visualize C2B2B macro-initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think impactful. Think sticky. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you visualize dynamically then you may also unleash mega-perfectly. We will enlarge our capability to architect without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. A company that can innovate fiercely will (someday) be able to synergize elegantly.