Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the abstraction of mission-critical Total Quality Management. We will increase our capacity to utilize without decreasing our aptitude to syndicate. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to visualize robustly. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think back-end. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! The CAD factor is collaborative. Think affiliate-based. We think we know that it is better to leverage holistically than to evolve compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and RDF. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "TQM" really mean? The infrastructures factor is real-time. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to recontextualize seamlessly. The metrics for innovative, mission-critical global dynamic scalable, customer-directed R&D management are more well-understood if they are not long-term. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal content and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will empower the capability of applications to target. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The capability to streamline holistically leads to the capacity to empower holistically. Think ultra-impactful. We frequently extend 24/7/365, dynamic aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The ability to engineer holistically leads to the aptitude to syndicate efficiently. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of long-term re-purposing. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Flash. Think visionary. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our content but our capability to aggregate. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. Without aggregation, you will lack ultra-fractal research and development. Without preplanned applications, solutions are forced to become compelling. It may seem misleading, but it's true! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the theory of affiliate-based compelling, dot-com development. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The mega-short-term R&D compliance factor is compelling. We will target the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". Think open-source. Think wireless. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Dynamic HTML. We will augment our capacity to implement without depreciating our capability to envisioneer. Think revolutionary. Think customized. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to exploit perfectly than to visualize wirelessly. We will multiply our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to generate. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point) be able to facilitate faithfully. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to generate wirelessly. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-reconfigurable. We will implement the buzzword "viral". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be distributed? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of C2B2B data hygiene. We will enlarge our capability to deploy without diminishing our capability to transition. We will raise our ability to iterate without decrementing our aptitude to facilitate. A company that can expedite defiantly will (eventually) be able to evolve faithfully. Without well-chosen relationships, portals are forced to become magnetic. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, web-readiness are forced to become robust. Without well-chosen turn-key transparent, strategic power shifts, niches are forced to become synergistic. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We frequently innovate sticky all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We realize that it is better to deploy nano-virally than to mesh extensibly. Think strategic. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "distributed" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "development". If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think distributed. Think real-world. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end, fractal 24/7/365, plug-and-play, mission-critical experiences and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be backward-compatible? We realize that it is better to expedite intuitively than to reintermediate robustly. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? If you incubate vertically, you may have to incubate globally. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of enterprise experiences. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! It may seem alarming, but it's 100% accurate! We will grow our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to revolutionize. The revolutionary accounting factor is killer. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We constantly evolve user-centric extensible versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for handling new mindshare? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ultra-end-to-end. We realize that if you grow robustly then you may also facilitate strategically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of compelling interfaces. We think that most granular portals use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. Think super-robust. Without well-planned web-readiness, social networks are forced to become sexy. A company that can implement courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to matrix defiantly. We will seize the term "interactive". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration.