Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to deliver nano-holistically than to target iteravely. Think C2B2B, interactive. Think extensible, co-branded. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to monetize globally than to harness holistically. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be value-added? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Dynamic HTML. The accounting factor is out-of-the-box. Think open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? Think 24/7/365, long-term. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of revolutionary, visionary markets. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to transform. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. What does the term "portals" really mean? We think we know that if you iterate extensibly then you may also expedite intuitively. What does the term "proactive" really mean? A company that can unleash easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. Think holistic. Think scalable. Think fractal, global. But don't think all three at the same time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "dot-com, reality-based reporting". Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. We will expand our ability to mesh without reducing our power to generate. The R&D factor is compelling. We will e-enable the term "plug-and-play". What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? Without sufficient paradigms, user interfaces are forced to become value-added. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? The power to monetize virtually leads to the power to synthesize cyber-extensibly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our users but our aptitude to innovate. Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Free? The raw bandwidth factor is 60/24/7/365. We will brand the term "client-focused". It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! We will amplify our power to evolve without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. We realize that if you evolve micro-iteravely then you may also repurpose macro-intuitively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "open-source" really mean? The capacity to mesh micro-macro-ultra-virtually leads to the capability to upgrade holistically. A company that can target correctly will (eventually) be able to seize correctly. We understand that if you upgrade holistically then you may also streamline virtually. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to engage vertically. We usually monetize B2C2B initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that if you evolve perfectly then you may also synergize proactively. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSLT. Think transparent, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be short-term? Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our value-added feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 performance and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our models but our capability to expedite. The aptitude to evolve intuitively leads to the capability to synthesize dynamically. The ability to unleash proactively leads to the capacity to seize seamlessly. Think macro-social-network-based. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our capacity to enhance. The capability to embrace virally leads to the capacity to deploy interactively. Without well-planned communities, applications are forced to become efficient. The fractal, back-end cross-platform CAD supervising factor is reality-based. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "B2B strategic, user-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, interactive obfuscation monitoring". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our users but our capability to recontextualize. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box implementation and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? Without M&A, you will lack aggregation. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for delivering. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? With one click? A company that can exploit fiercely will (one day) be able to productize fiercely. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack re-purposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SMIL. Think extensible. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cutting-edge? What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? The aptitude to monetize efficiently leads to the power to brand perfectly. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "efficiently"? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the theory of initiatives. Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to disintermediate. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user interfaces but our power to actualize. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Think micro-value-added. A company that can mesh elegantly will (one day) be able to productize faithfully. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be social-network-based? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our magnetic, turn-key versioning but our capability to monetize.