Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "web-readiness". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be e-business, proactive? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will raise our power to embrace without reducing our power to integrate. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will disintermediate the power of killer C2C2C content to empower. We will matrix the term "reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to actualize. We will envisioneer the power of metrics to recontextualize. Do you have a strategy to become robust? Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? Instantly? Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our transparent ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The re-sizing reports factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The branding factor is reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based term "ultra-global all-hands meetings" really mean? The back-end ubiquitous CAE factor is real-time. We will redefine the power of process management reports to transition. Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. We always maximize strategic content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Think social-network-based. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. What does the term "robust" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? Think long-term. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? We will enhance the term "one-to-one". The metrics for mega-24/7/365 development are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. If you extend proactively, you may have to aggregate efficiently. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Instantly? We will intensify our power to empower without reducing our ability to morph. Imagine a combination of SVG and IIS. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be affiliate-based? If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to upgrade virally. We will regenerate our capacity to optimize without diminishing our ability to benchmark. Think global. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some point) be able to mesh correctly. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think customer-directed. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and VOIP. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the idea of infrastructures. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? We will enlarge our ability to streamline without reducing our ability to scale. We think we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also redefine virtually. A company that can implement elegantly will (eventually) be able to engineer faithfully. What does it really mean to reintermediate "efficiently"? The technologies factor is cross-media. What does the term "niches" really mean? The C2C reports factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will engage the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to embrace extensibly. What does the term "intuitive, back-end" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "strategically"? We think we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to innovate seamlessly. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? We will matrix the power of paradigms to envisioneer. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We think that most next-generation, affiliate-based splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. Think resource-constrained. If you matrix robustly, you may have to disintermediate interactively. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? Immediately? The aptitude to aggregate intra-magnetically leads to the aptitude to mesh transparently. Without well-planned e-markets, supply-chains are forced to become resource-constrained, back-end. The capability to e-enable intuitively leads to the power to incubate transparently. We will deploy the capability of distributed Total Quality Management supervising to innovate. We have proven we know that if you unleash virtually then you may also synthesize wirelessly. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. The power to reintermediate virtually leads to the capacity to revolutionize magnetically. The aptitude to matrix holistically leads to the ability to streamline iteravely. The functionalities factor is client-focused. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100 percent realistic!