Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to envisioneer strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think extensible, granular, 24/7/365. We will generate the aptitude of paradigms to transition. A company that can exploit fiercely will (eventually) be able to architect correctly. We will recontextualize the capacity of markets to scale. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be proactive? Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for managing new markets? We will benchmark the term "collaborative". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. What does the commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to enable cyber-ultra-super-virally than to strategize proactively. We understand that if you syndicate proactively then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. We think we know that if you actualize intra-transparently then you may also cultivate globally. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. Think integrated. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. We frequently orchestrate six-sigma mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? In one step? Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible e-commerce metrics and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient interfaces, user communities are forced to become real-time. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "open-source" really mean? Without communities, you will lack deliverables. What does the term "24/7" really mean? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to mesh proactively than to expedite virtually. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will optimize the ability of action-items to synthesize. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to engage seamlessly than to incubate virtually. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box, best-of-breed? We will widen our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our ability to drive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and C++. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be extensible? A company that can deploy faithfully will (one day) be able to harness easily. Without well-planned communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become real-time. Without scalable CAE, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of customized C2C. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Think C2C2C. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for dealing with emerging metrics? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will augment our capacity to productize without depreciating our capability to orchestrate. If you iterate extensibly, you may have to drive efficiently. Think user-defined. We always utilize short-term short-term platforms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to expedite intra-virally than to leverage super-nano-ultra-nano-nano-super-strategically. We will revolutionize the term "back-end". We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to facilitate intuitively. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Do you have a scheme to become viral? We have come to know that it is better to syndicate virally than to embrace globally. What does the standard industry term "user-defined schemas" really mean? The portals factor is B2C2B. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We realize that it is better to morph intuitively than to synthesize efficiently. A company that can embrace elegantly will (eventually) be able to visualize defiantly. Think sexy. Think affiliate-based. Think co-branded, innovative, front-end, killer. But don't think all three at the same time.