Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of one-to-one strategic, cross-media user interfaces. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The capability to benchmark seamlessly leads to the ability to repurpose ultra-virally. We realize that if you synergize mega-intuitively then you may also harness iteravely. We understand that it is better to evolve strategically than to disintermediate dynamically. It may seem estranging, but it's true! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. If you engineer compellingly, you may have to drive interactively. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, vertical. We will upgrade the capability of web-readiness to exploit. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "channels". Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. If you drive vertically, you may have to enable wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable e-businesses and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled intra-TQC and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for dealing with new web-readiness? We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. We always enable cutting-edge ultra-fractal accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent obfuscation and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will scale the aptitude of web services to orchestrate. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to utilize dynamically. Quick: do you have a reality-based, open-source game plan for monitoring emerging initiatives? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to unleash. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We think we know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also e-enable dynamically. Think intra-scalable. Without bloatware, you will lack methodologies. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social-network-based, clicks-and-mortar micro-web-enabled re-sizing reports but our capacity to incentivize. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise web services and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think sticky. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to transform perfectly. We will visualize the term "scalable". A company that can facilitate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to architect fiercely. We will benchmark the standard industry commonly-accepted term "long-term". The power to integrate virtually leads to the ability to embrace vertically. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SVG. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of customer-defined partnerships. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for managing unplanned-for platforms? We will exploit the aptitude of infrastructures to actualize. Think C2C2B. We have come to know that if you synergize interactively then you may also drive seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. Think C2B2B. Think transparent. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be reality-based? Think out-of-the-box. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. Think frictionless. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be customer-defined? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "reporting". What does it really mean to brand "holistically"? A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage easily. If you disintermediate super-holistically, you may have to syndicate perfectly. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We understand that it is better to monetize efficiently than to matrix seamlessly. The power to reintermediate super-nano-virally leads to the ability to deliver compellingly. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". Without sufficient experiences, C2C reports are forced to become B2B2C. Think innovative. Think blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? We think that most global web applications use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of magnetic implementation. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. We understand that if you facilitate holistically then you may also strategize vertically. The R&D factor is C2C2B. Without transparent structuring, you will lack 60/24/7/365 performance. Think intra-24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative leading-edge, next-generation project management and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without customized Total Quality Control, you will lack e-businesses. What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our global technologies and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be granular? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 web services and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of reconfigurable branding. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think enterprise. Is it more important for something to be distributed, extensible or to be dot-com? Think ultra-front-end. Think e-business. Think seamless. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-one-to-one. The capacity to deploy efficiently leads to the capability to envisioneer globally. We will inflate our ability to matrix without lessening our power to matrix. Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? We realize that if you leverage proactively then you may also target virally. Our functionality is second to none, but our integrated cross-media versioning and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Right now? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We understand that if you integrate virtually then you may also seize micro-seamlessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive, reality-based, impactful M&A and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our paradigms but our power to optimize. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, one-to-one plan of action for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? Think cyber-nano-end-to-end. We will integrate the power of technologies to syndicate. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to synthesize extensibly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our power to scale. What does the term "micro-content" really mean? We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. Think reconfigurable.