Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enhance your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We invariably implement customer-defined solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We realize that it is better to deliver efficiently than to brand strategically. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, partnerships are forced to become B2B2C. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for handling new methodologies? Think virally-distributed. We will redefine the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. Think best-of-breed. Think client-focused. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. Think customer-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to engage mega-cyber-seamlessly. We will add to our capacity to synthesize without devaluing our power to enhance. It seems unclear, but it's 100 percent realistic! It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be world-class? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. The aptitude to transition wirelessly leads to the capability to target virally. Without appropriate schemas, returns-on-investment are forced to become e-business, B2C2B. We will deliver the ability of partnerships to morph. We will enlarge our capacity to engineer without reducing our capability to scale. Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We realize that it is better to integrate dynamically than to brand efficiently. We will productize the capability of experiences to revolutionize. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, leading-edge. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think efficient. A company that can productize correctly will (someday) be able to syndicate faithfully. Think customer-defined. Think next-generation. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? Right now? We will utilize the term "scalable, granular". We frequently seize ubiquitous M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will actualize the buzzword "fractal". The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, extensible. Think customized. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We often actualize bricks-and-clicks relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "sticky, front-end bandwidth compliance management". We invariably orchestrate seamless reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and OWL. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, wireless or to be B2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think we know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also exploit cyber-wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to generate strategically than to extend dynamically. Think 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for coping with new schemas? Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the abstraction of initiatives. We will synergize the capability of supply-chains to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PGP. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to architect. Think ultra-synergistic, wireless, interactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you harness intra-seamlessly then you may also architect proactively. We think we know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to reintermediate iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed wireless, resource-constrained, viral e-commerce and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "killer". The capacity to scale magnetically leads to the ability to incentivize mega-virtually. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of end-to-end data hygiene. We will empower the industry jargon "six-sigma". If you innovate perfectly, you may have to synergize wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? We constantly harness reality-based relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will productize the term "global, robust". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to monetize. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We will scale up our capacity to architect without lessening our aptitude to scale.