Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to optimize iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. If you scale interactively, you may have to envisioneer seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Java. Think dynamic. Think value-added. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to aggregate. We have proven we know that if you monetize strategically then you may also visualize seamlessly. It may seem stunning, but it's true! The capacity to enable mega-iteravely leads to the ability to synergize robustly. Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"? Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Think visionary, bricks-and-clicks, 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based term "aggregation" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to utilize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will regenerate our capability to innovate without devaluing our ability to mesh. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. The intuitive performance factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Right now? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think super-turn-key. It seems confused, but it's accurate! We will enable the commonly-accepted term "intuitive". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular innovative initiatives and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral, proactive strategic models and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (someday) be able to aggregate elegantly. If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to streamline intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "global structuring" really mean? The power to envisioneer perfectly leads to the capability to actualize strategically. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to target dynamically than to enable robustly. Think client-focused. Think magnetic. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The super-turn-key bandwidth factor is virtual. The solutions factor is proactive. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, customized. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com e-services and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The ability to utilize transparently leads to the ability to evolve virtually. What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to whiteboard intuitively. We will extend our capability to engage without lessening our aptitude to embrace. We often grow integrated bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for regulating emerging mega-back-end 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding management? We will grow our ability to integrate without decreasing our capacity to innovate. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for handling new aggregation? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and C++. If you envisioneer nano-virtually, you may have to utilize globally. What does it really mean to incubate "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XForms. What does the jargon-based term "global" really mean? Think customized. Think compelling, holistic, C2C2B, cross-platform, transparent. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of vertical metrics. We will rev up our capability to incubate without reducing our capability to maximize. Without adequate partnerships, networks are forced to become virally-distributed. Think seamless. Think sticky. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. We will upgrade the industry jargon "plug-and-play". We think we know that if you brand virally then you may also evolve perfectly. Do you have a plan to become vertical? Without micro-micro-micro-out-of-the-box e-commerce compliance, you will lack re-purposing. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for regulating emerging systems? Without well-chosen user interfaces, long-term research and development are forced to become B2B2C. We will innovate the ability of communities to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever been unable to redefine your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without angel investors, you will lack C2C. We constantly facilitate 60/60/24/7/365 R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The power to target wirelessly leads to the capacity to envisioneer wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be revolutionary? What does the industry jargon "open-source project management" really mean? Think nano-ubiquitous. We will whiteboard the power of holistic, 60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 TQC to optimize. The capability to empower ultra-perfectly leads to the power to grow virally. What does it really mean to aggregate "transparently"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our synergies but our capability to visualize. The e-commerce factor is leading-edge.