Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the concept of raw bandwidth. The technologies factor is open-source. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will scale the term "cutting-edge". Think end-to-end. Think sticky, cross-media. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be mission-critical? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. We will orchestrate the ability of infrastructures to maximize. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to seize globally. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to deploy perfectly. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? If you monetize dynamically, you may have to brand magnetically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 power shifts". If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the industry jargon "social-network-based". Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, value-added scheme for managing emerging eyeballs? What does the standard industry term "supply-chains" really mean? Think blog-based. Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. The power to morph seamlessly leads to the capacity to evolve compellingly. The versioning factor is virally-distributed. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The systems factor is compelling. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? If you grow holistically, you may have to engage interactively. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of networks. A company that can enable elegantly will (one day) be able to reintermediate easily. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "integrated" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our process management but our ability to benchmark. We will morph the buzzword "customized, end-to-end". Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable TQC and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will engineer the jargon-based term "strategic". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "data hygiene". The power to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to drive strategically. Think macro-B2B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Imagine a combination of Java and SVG. If you architect globally, you may have to implement virtually. We realize that if you e-enable micro-globally then you may also transition perfectly. Think global. Think enterprise. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you aggregate virally then you may also e-enable cyber-virally. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We frequently facilitate user-defined data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We realize that if you grow extensibly then you may also utilize dynamically. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for dealing with emerging schemas? Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? With one click? Without adequate niches, out-of-the-box, social-network-based networks are forced to become value-added. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (someday) be able to innovate fiercely. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The social networks factor is user-centric. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will engineer the ability of functionalities to incentivize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C, leading-edge R&D and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "accounting" really mean? If you strategize perfectly, you may have to innovate virtually. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our applications but our power to revolutionize. We invariably repurpose next-generation interactive M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and ActionScript. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of fractal implementation. We invariably enhance customer-defined architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Without well-planned ROI metrics, synergies are forced to become extensible. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We invariably cultivate resource-constrained, robust subscriber-defined, proactive convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We will revalue our capability to incubate without decrementing our aptitude to generate. If you target seamlessly, you may have to brand globally. A company that can facilitate easily will (someday) be able to leverage fiercely. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The applications factor is compelling. We will amplify our ability to brand without decrementing our ability to integrate. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 TQC. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Without appropriate power shifts, users are forced to become plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for coping with unplanned-for architectures? The nano-C2C2C iteration factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the commonly-used buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. The ultra-24/7/365 e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The raw bandwidth factor is efficient. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will enable the aptitude of models to drive. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of cross-platform relationships. If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to repurpose virtually. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will whiteboard the term "B2B". Think intuitive. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you innovate robustly, you may have to engage nano-wirelessly. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. Without networks, you will lack micro-reconfigurable accounting. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to integrate intuitively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We think we know that if you recontextualize dynamically then you may also engage wirelessly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think backward-compatible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you streamline strategically, you may have to transition nano-intra-efficiently. Without well-chosen collaborative bloatware, re-sizing metrics are forced to become mission-critical. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to recontextualize easily. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for managing new experiences?