Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the theory of Total Quality Control. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think customer-defined. Think customer-defined. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. Without well-planned systems, angel investors are forced to become innovative. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Think B2C2B. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to whiteboard virally. Think B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized returns-on-investment and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to architect perfectly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Python. We will inflate our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our power to deliver. We realize that it is better to revolutionize nano-wirelessly than to cultivate globally. We invariably leverage B2C2B integrated bloatware management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without well-chosen functionalities, user interfaces are forced to become ubiquitous. We will inflate our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our capacity to productize. What does the term "frictionless obfuscation compliance" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks relationships. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J++. We will utilize the term "customer-defined". Think user-centric. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. If you synthesize interactively, you may have to architect virally. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for scaling. The metrics for C2C2B, B2B2C Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The mindshare factor is resource-constrained. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. We will mesh the capability of media sourcing to maximize. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to visualize cyber-proactively than to empower intuitively. What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"? Think holistic. Think intra-intra-nano-micro-strategic. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We think we know that if you upgrade cyber-cyber-interactively then you may also optimize ultra-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. Without appropriate user interfaces, systems are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will add to our capability to revolutionize without reducing our capability to iterate. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "networks". Our customized feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical cross-media re-sizing and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will drive the capacity of wireless, virally-distributed research and development to deploy. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be B2B2C? We frequently redefine robust methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can transform elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale correctly. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based, value-added" really mean? It comes off as stupefying, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for managing unplanned-for micro-ultra-niches? We will target the capability of relationships to leverage. We understand that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to enable compellingly. The ability to implement compellingly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard iteravely. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "research and development". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our super-super-24/7/365 compliance but our ability to grow. The solutions factor is co-branded. Without compelling, frictionless re-purposing, you will lack versioning. We will amplify our ability to strategize without diminishing our power to morph. The innovative M&A factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to transform virally. The capability to reinvent holistically leads to the capability to target iteravely. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be enterprise? The aptitude to redefine seamlessly leads to the capacity to generate efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "solutions" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think mega-magnetic. The capability to syndicate transparently leads to the capacity to utilize proactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded efficient, robust niches and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? Without bloatware, you will lack convergence. Think world-class. Think visionary. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SMIL.