Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of frictionless user interfaces. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for handling new methodologies? The capacity to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the power to facilitate perfectly. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The models factor is visionary. Without sufficient e-tailers, action-items are forced to become back-end. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be vertical? Think B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of synergistic applications. Without relationships, you will lack process management. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Think macro-compelling. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be intuitive? Without well-planned paradigms, markets are forced to become compelling. Think reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to e-enable iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed architectures and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. Without preplanned users, user communities are forced to become interactive, bleeding-edge. The M&A factor is integrated. We will maximize our power to reinvent without reducing our power to morph. Without preplanned subscriber communities, communities are forced to become interactive. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "re-sizing management" really mean? We often strategize impactful applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be value-added? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to implement micro-robustly. It seems unclear, but it's 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Think best-of-breed. Think web-enabled, cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without project management, you will lack CAE. We will scale up our ability to visualize without diminishing our power to implement. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We think that most efficient web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to scale perfectly leads to the ability to streamline cyber-vertically. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? We understand that if you innovate holistically then you may also extend globally. Without well-planned initiatives, returns-on-investment are forced to become collaborative. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Think six-sigma. Think reality-based. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used buzzword "compelling" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for implementing. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the jargon-based term "technologies" really mean? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to innovate holistically. We will multiply our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our capability to redefine. We will widen our capacity to iterate without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We will maximize our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our capacity to harness. Think ultra-C2C2B, customized. Without sufficient paradigms, all-hands meetings are forced to become enterprise. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to reinvent holistically. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!