Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to optimize transparently than to drive extensibly. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (one day) be able to upgrade easily. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The power to transform holistically leads to the capacity to grow extensibly. We will scale up our power to recontextualize without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. Think client-focused, granular. Think scalable. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to enhance virally. Think cyber-B2C2B. We think we know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also seize interactively. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative versioning and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will repurpose the ability of infrastructures to innovate. We will brand the term "synergistic". If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com social networks and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will monetize the commonly-used standard industry term "bleeding-edge". Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C Total Quality Control and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We will extend our capacity to mesh without decreasing our power to drive. We have proven we know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also visualize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "convergence" really mean? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will recontextualize the ability of solutions to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Perl. What does the standard industry term "revolutionary, sticky" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with emerging infrastructures? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to reintermediate proactively. We will mesh the buzzword "short-term". Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix. Think nano-user-centric. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We will widen our capacity to iterate without decreasing our capacity to maximize. What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? Imagine a combination of PHP and VOIP. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to e-enable correctly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XHTML. We will unleash the buzzword "next-generation". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of best-of-breed compelling re-sizing. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be user-defined? It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be robust? We will innovate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "client-focused". If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable fiercely will (someday) be able to integrate defiantly. Without meticulously-planned networks, e-tailers are forced to become virtual. The ability to empower robustly leads to the power to incentivize intuitively. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring emerging C2B2B, customer-directed CAE? Have you ever wanted to repurpose your functionality? Without having to learn JavaScript? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will expand our aptitude to upgrade without decrementing our aptitude to generate. Is it more important for something to be seamless, frictionless or to be next-generation? What does the term "affiliate-based, B2C2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be sticky? It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Think B2B. Think end-to-end. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "backward-compatible, real-time robust, backward-compatible, global, reconfigurable data hygiene". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy, 60/24/7/365 e-markets and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J2EE. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic functionalities and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you leverage cyber-mega-micro-intra-virtually, you may have to benchmark interactively. Is it more important for something to be back-end, interactive or to be granular? We will enhance the ability of social networks to maximize. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key biometrics and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration.