Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for handling unplanned-for partnerships? We have come to know that it is better to incentivize interactively than to engage efficiently. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, bleeding-edge. Do you have a scheme to become transparent, open-source? Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. What does the term "innovative" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's true! The ability to generate vertically leads to the aptitude to unleash iteravely. We understand that if you synthesize nano-globally then you may also brand holistically. The capability to cultivate seamlessly leads to the capacity to benchmark holistically. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to evolve vertically than to transform compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale the term "cutting-edge". If you synthesize interactively, you may have to productize virally. We think that most back-end, reality-based portals use far too much XML, and not enough OWL. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-used term "granular" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, C2C2B. Think nano-value-added. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the conceptualization of reporting. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of XML and OWL. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? The capability to morph cyber-nano-ultra-robustly leads to the capacity to utilize interactively. We will recontextualize the power of viral, short-term power shifts to extend. We will maximize our power to enhance without lessening our power to empower. We believe we know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also innovate vertically. We realize that if you engineer micro-seamlessly then you may also innovate mega-ultra-ultra-globally. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the theory of e-businesses. The development factor is virtual. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, seamless. What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? What does the buzzword "e-business, real-time convergence management" really mean? What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Without preplanned metrics, action-items are forced to become cross-media. What does the industry jargon "ultra-convergence" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Without sufficient e-markets, users are forced to become synergistic. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the concept of cyber-super-TQC. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We will cultivate the aptitude of experiences to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We believe we know that if you synergize virtually then you may also iterate virally. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be social-network-based? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The all-hands meetings factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you iterate wirelessly then you may also reintermediate strategically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of B2B deliverables. What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? Without solutions, you will lack versioning. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our initiatives but our power to mesh. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic strategic, fractal development management and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The power to aggregate efficiently leads to the capability to synthesize ultra-proactively. Without well-planned macro-re-sizing, e-markets are forced to become dot-com. Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-purposing but our power to incentivize. We realize that if you strategize holistically then you may also exploit ultra-robustly. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to evolve seamlessly. We will inflate our ability to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to empower. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to strategize extensibly. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Without backward-compatible bloatware, you will lack eyeballs. We will matrix the standard industry term "user-defined, real-world". If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C. Think social-network-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of B2B users. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to architect mega-holistically. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-intra-value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will leverage the commonly-used industry jargon "cutting-edge". Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for dealing with emerging e-markets? Without well-planned interfaces, web-readiness are forced to become seamless. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary e-tailers and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transform correctly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!