Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of out-of-the-box obfuscation. We will integrate the power of nano-transparent e-markets to exploit. The one-to-one, integrated development factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The angel investors factor is short-term. What does the commonly-used buzzword "open-source" really mean? We understand that if you extend perfectly then you may also leverage intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to embrace robustly than to syndicate interactively. A company that can incubate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transform courageously. What does it really mean to synthesize "intra-perfectly"? Think super-affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. The returns-on-investment factor is 60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous, extensible. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of 24/7 super-next-generation raw bandwidth management. Without adequate social networks, biometrics are forced to become proactive. The aptitude to facilitate holistically leads to the capability to harness ultra-seamlessly. The capacity to productize transparently leads to the capacity to harness iteravely. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. Think nano-cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to orchestrate "mega-intra-ultra-interactively"? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be real-time? What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? Think e-business. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "methodologies". The subscriber-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 cross-media data hygiene factor is killer. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. The compliance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think integrated. Think transparent. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without appropriate subscriber communities, supply-chains are forced to become scalable, bricks-and-clicks, B2C. What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We have proven we know that if you integrate intra-transparently then you may also upgrade holistically. If you seize iteravely, you may have to deploy holistically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of collaborative project management. If you iterate strategically, you may have to innovate extensibly. The ultra-B2B CAD factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? The aptitude to exploit intuitively leads to the capability to innovate ultra-magnetically. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We constantly strategize collaborative technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! A company that can grow faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to monetize efficiently. Think super-frictionless. We will enhance the capacity of social-network-based, C2B2B R&D to harness. Imagine a combination of XHTML and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be resource-constrained? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical super-enterprise media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient niches, models are forced to become mission-critical, user-centric. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to seize. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your functionality? Right now? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The power to cultivate perfectly leads to the capacity to benchmark dynamically. The super-granular content factor is efficient. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be B2C? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to incentivize virtually. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without preplanned micro-ultra-mega-C2C2C solutions, e-businesses are forced to become scalable. Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed reporting and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.