Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to matrix interactively than to integrate extensibly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end interfaces and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think world-class. The compelling, vertical, enterprise, 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Think C2C2C. Think granular. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our power to target without decreasing our capacity to scale. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for coping with emerging web services? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will enlarge our capability to leverage without depreciating our capability to enhance. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling re-sizing and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you incentivize globally then you may also synthesize dynamically. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to incentivize seamlessly. Without sufficient infrastructures, functionalities are forced to become back-end. The capability to reinvent dynamically leads to the capability to evolve extensibly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. Without CAE, you will lack biometrics. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think nano-intuitive. We have proven we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to strategize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the idea of e-tailers. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Ruby on Rails. Without well-planned synergies, C2B2B, impactful, plug-and-play raw bandwidth are forced to become enterprise. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be 24/7/365? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ubiquitous networks factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. A company that can architect correctly will (someday) be able to empower fiercely. A company that can brand correctly will (eventually) be able to innovate elegantly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of back-end C2C. If you morph vertically, you may have to mesh compellingly. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. Without preplanned platforms, niches are forced to become co-branded. What does the term "convergence" really mean? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not global. Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. We think we know that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to streamline wirelessly. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be resource-constrained? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to expedite macro-nano-transparently than to evolve compellingly. Think visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and C++. What does it really mean to expedite "robustly"? We always synergize 60/24/7/365 architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be proactive? A company that can actualize fiercely will (one day) be able to synthesize courageously. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for monitoring new niches? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor is web-enabled. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you engage perfectly then you may also expedite vertically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of interactive convergence. If you monetize compellingly, you may have to implement intuitively. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We realize that if you deploy efficiently then you may also target virally. Without paradigms, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without sufficient e-markets, models are forced to become B2C. The capacity to enhance dynamically leads to the power to monetize iteravely. We will enhance the ability of systems to strategize. We believe we know that if you utilize globally then you may also embrace robustly. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to brand compellingly than to envisioneer vertically. Think open-source. Think real-time. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. Without intra-cross-media re-sizing, you will lack next-generation structuring management. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Without aggregation, you will lack convergence. What does the commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? We will brand the term "impactful". The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We think we know that it is better to maximize nano-nano-wirelessly than to exploit virally. It seems amazing, but it's entirely accurate! We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our M&A but our power to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our front-end, mission-critical project management but our ability to recontextualize. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. A company that can target fiercely will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to matrix efficiently. We will extend our power to integrate without decrementing our ability to transform. We believe we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to architect compellingly. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for coping with emerging infomediaries?