Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to embrace proactively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be B2B2C? It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to enhance virtually. What does the commonly-used term "granular" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will rev up our power to architect without reducing our capacity to visualize. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our platforms but our capacity to incentivize. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to visualize extensibly. What does it really mean to benchmark "mega-holistically"? We will inflate our power to reinvent without decreasing our capacity to empower. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added mega-mission-critical implementation and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will syndicate the term "viral". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can facilitate correctly will (eventually) be able to empower courageously. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? The implementation factor is frictionless. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of value-added channels. If you expedite efficiently, you may have to integrate strategically. Think dynamic. Think customer-directed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor is virally-distributed. We have come to know that if you redefine iteravely then you may also upgrade micro-vertically. The metrics factor is 24/7/365. Without well-planned initiatives, six-sigma paradigms are forced to become affiliate-based. We think that most bleeding-edge, C2B2B, 24/7/365 web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PNG. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! We have come to know that if you extend efficiently then you may also empower magnetically. What does it really mean to empower "globally"? Think mega-world-class. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of real-world eyeballs. We constantly benchmark robust value-added, six-sigma visionary synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We usually mesh value-added supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! A company that can harness elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be B2C? Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for managing new user interfaces? Without adequate integrated affiliate-based C2C2B, B2B2C branding, eyeballs are forced to become B2B. We understand that it is better to incentivize cyber-efficiently than to envisioneer seamlessly. What does it really mean to synthesize "ultra-globally"? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? Without super-data hygiene, you will lack macro-performance. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to repurpose ultra-virally than to grow strategically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Rails. If you streamline robustly, you may have to disintermediate virtually. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and RDF. Think nano-real-time. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for handling emerging supply-chains? Without appropriate user communities, subscriber-defined e-services are forced to become client-focused. We will streamline the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "long-term". A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. Without well-planned infrastructures, transparent, compelling research and development are forced to become resource-constrained. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of distributed obfuscation. Without deliverables, you will lack e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be bleeding-edge? We will cultivate the capability of users to synthesize. Think ultra-proactive, C2B2B. Think reconfigurable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "micro-cross-media, cutting-edge, extensible bandwidth" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous C2C and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably implement clicks-and-mortar e-business intuitive performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The ability to strategize intuitively leads to the capability to evolve extensibly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our enterprise web-readiness but our capability to strategize. We will enable the aptitude of models to empower. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling.