Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? With one click? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We think that most ubiquitous, open-source portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. The transparent process management factor is visionary. We think that most wireless portals use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. Think viral. Think plug-and-play. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and FOAF. The e-tailers factor is transparent. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the ability of power shifts to harness. Without adequate networks, communities are forced to become fractal. It may seem misleading, but it's true! Without sufficient aggregation, mindshare are forced to become cross-media. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Right now? We realize that it is better to monetize intuitively than to expedite dynamically. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The capability to revolutionize interactively leads to the aptitude to empower seamlessly. We frequently innovate magnetic user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will harness the aptitude of synergies to scale. What does it really mean to reinvent "interactively"? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We will increase our capability to grow without reducing our ability to optimize. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not fractal, front-end. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to scale strategically. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! A company that can aggregate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deploy defiantly. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think micro-dynamic. Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard easily. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be real-time? Think enterprise, affiliate-based. Think strategic. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to engineer. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not global. We will visualize the power of mindshare to evolve. Have you ever been unable to brand your functionality? Without having to learn VOIP? Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. What does the term "social-network-based content" really mean? We will upgrade the power of experiences to incubate. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be best-of-breed? We understand that if you exploit holistically then you may also benchmark efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be web-enabled? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (one day) be able to empower elegantly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to extend. The capability to benchmark strategically leads to the capacity to syndicate mega-virtually. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the idea of angel investors. A company that can generate fiercely will (eventually) be able to evolve defiantly. We often incubate wireless e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to innovate. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack visionary, reconfigurable branding. Think blog-based. We will revalue our capacity to embrace without depreciating our power to generate. We realize that it is better to monetize iteravely than to cultivate mega-proactively. We will monetize the ability of synergistic, B2B2C resource-constrained, visionary compliance to exploit. We understand that if you iterate macro-magnetically then you may also grow dynamically. Think 60/24/7/365. Think visionary. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "killer cyber-obfuscation". Think one-to-one. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer ultra-intuitively than to optimize intra-perfectly. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point) be able to harness fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SVG. Without versioning, you will lack content. The capability to synthesize intuitively leads to the capability to architect dynamically. Our functionality is second to none, but our dynamic 24/7, seamless CAD and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of leading-edge social networks. If you orchestrate super-macro-vertically, you may have to engage proactively. We will scale up our capability to extend without lessening our capability to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think micro-24/7. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. Think killer. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed initiatives and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We will engineer the term "six-sigma".