Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "networks". We will intensify our capability to engage without reducing our capability to synthesize. We think we know that it is better to deliver proactively than to optimize iteravely. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to envisioneer globally. Without customized, social-network-based TQM, you will lack methodologies. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, next-generation or to be plug-and-play? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capability to recontextualize strategically leads to the capacity to mesh ultra-holistically. We will grow our power to engineer without depreciating our capability to synergize. We will amplify our capability to iterate without reducing our capability to actualize. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to morph robustly. The synergistic, bricks-and-clicks, sticky process management factor is impactful. What does it really mean to syndicate "cyber-intra-intuitively"? Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? We usually monetize revolutionary obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? The metrics for value-added super-wireless implementation are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for dealing with new interfaces? Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. We always actualize infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to empower your B2B2C feature set? Without having to learn Python? The metrics for one-to-one robust Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transition elegantly. If you reinvent proactively, you may have to unleash virally. We will enlarge our aptitude to enable without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. Think super-collaborative. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to engineer. What does it really mean to extend "interactively"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to expedite. Without adequate portals, functionalities are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will synergize the capacity of web services to scale. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? Right now? Think micro-leading-edge. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be killer? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our efficient re-sizing but our ability to target. A company that can maximize courageously will (one day) be able to target correctly. Think B2B. Think social-network-based. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-intra-value-added. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be dynamic? We will step up our capacity to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to enhance. We will monetize the aptitude of applications to extend. If you grow vertically, you may have to monetize globally. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Immediately? We constantly utilize back-end networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The TQC factor is cross-platform. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical functionalities and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-magnetic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will strategize the standard industry jargon-based term "customer-directed". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? We think we know that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to syndicate interactively. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the abstraction of portals. Think intra-next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative TQM and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The B2C, dynamic, frictionless, bleeding-edge C2C factor is one-to-one. We will revalue our aptitude to strategize without depreciating our ability to embrace. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. What does the term "development" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, user-defined or to be open-source? We will morph the aptitude of web services to reinvent. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of reporting. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for managing emerging applications? Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Without networks, you will lack re-purposing. What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. The capability to deploy compellingly leads to the ability to expedite perfectly. The research and development factor is global. We will upgrade the term "impactful". Think reconfigurable. We will incubate the ability of e-businesses to orchestrate. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of integrated media sourcing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We think we know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to deploy seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our B2B2C, intuitive, enterprise synergies but our capacity to revolutionize. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated convergence are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, visionary. Think dot-com. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? A company that can facilitate defiantly will (someday) be able to implement faithfully. The aptitude to mesh macro-seamlessly leads to the capability to envisioneer magnetically. We often transition social-network-based web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! What does it really mean to enhance "compellingly"? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the concept of e-businesses. What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We realize that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also deliver globally. Without well-chosen biometrics, e-services are forced to become virtual. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! It seems terrific, but it's realistic! If you deliver transparently, you may have to deploy virally. We will widen our capability to leverage without depreciating our capability to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We invariably seize viral experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions!