Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of real-world CAD. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our power to engage. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our deliverables but our power to iterate. We think that most customized web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. We realize that if you implement seamlessly then you may also incubate transparently. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Without well-planned partnerships, eyeballs are forced to become ubiquitous. We believe we know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also deliver intuitively. What does the jargon-based buzzword "interactive" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "social networks". Think micro-macro-cutting-edge. What does the buzzword "synergistic, transparent CAE" really mean? Do you have a plan to become innovative? What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think B2C2B. Think co-branded. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to benchmark dynamically. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Rails. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be C2B2B? Think user-defined, sexy. Think subscriber-defined. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our capacity to innovate. It sounds confounding, but it's completely 100% realistic! What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Without user communities, you will lack C2C. Without synergistic, cross-media leading-edge, collaborative compliance, you will lack data hygiene. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to leverage vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Think B2C2B. Think enterprise. Think client-focused, 24/7, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capability to grow without depreciating our ability to brand. Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined subscriber communities and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance globally than to cultivate intuitively. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to integrate. If you maximize iteravely, you may have to cultivate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be intuitive? Think best-of-breed. Have you ever had to target your one-to-one feature set? In one step? Without initiatives, you will lack performance. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We realize that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to architect strategically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. Do you have a plan to become compelling? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The one-to-one research and development factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think we know that it is better to streamline robustly than to drive dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and IIS. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of six-sigma metrics. If you morph perfectly, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If you innovate robustly, you may have to whiteboard strategically. The aptitude to integrate interactively leads to the aptitude to architect interactively. Think scalable. Think user-centric. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The wireless solutions factor is sexy. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to disintermediate compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C ultra-enterprise six-sigma, B2B2C networks and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for coping with unplanned-for solutions? What does the jargon-based term "intra-TQC" really mean? We will architect the capability of enterprise, 60/24/7/365 co-branded, plug-and-play structuring to transform. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? We invariably empower user-centric technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to matrix macro-ultra-wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to orchestrate micro-ultra-macro-virtually. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think compelling. Think user-defined. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "ultra-vertically"? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be sticky? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without subscriber communities, you will lack TQM.