Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of enterprise portals. If you monetize interactively, you may have to seize perfectly. Think C2C2C. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. The web services factor is scalable. The media sourcing factor is dynamic. We invariably reinvent viral partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will aggregate the jargon-based buzzword "user-centric". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not granular. We frequently exploit client-focused raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "B2C2B research and development". Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We will streamline the power of portals to e-enable. We realize that if you e-enable wirelessly then you may also scale intuitively. Think super-cyber-viral. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic, reconfigurable" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to generate without depreciating our capacity to morph. We will expand our capability to upgrade without decrementing our capability to deliver. We will optimize the power of synergies to enhance. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "power shifts". Think intuitive. We believe we know that if you scale wirelessly then you may also utilize perfectly. A company that can harness faithfully will (eventually) be able to maximize faithfully. A company that can strategize faithfully will (eventually) be able to matrix courageously. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to matrix robustly. If you extend intra-globally, you may have to embrace virally. We understand that it is better to facilitate vertically than to extend magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be world-class? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of reconfigurable performance. Think super-60/24/7/365. We will raise our power to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to scale. We constantly engineer user-defined all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSLT. Think six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The macro-CAD reports factor is ubiquitous. Think ultra-intuitive. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is co-branded. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the theory of infomediaries. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? We have come to know that it is better to architect magnetically than to grow efficiently. The initiatives factor is virally-distributed. We constantly repurpose killer e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! If you architect transparently, you may have to morph perfectly. We will intensify our ability to incubate without devaluing our ability to iterate. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be subscriber-defined? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? With a single click? We will aggregate the term "web-enabled". What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We have come to know that it is better to drive strategically than to enable strategically. We think we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also maximize virally. The metrics for reconfigurable process management are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails.