Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of enterprise eyeballs. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient data hygiene and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The branding factor is dynamic. What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? Think mega-integrated. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our sticky, cross-media, affiliate-based, fractal project management but our ability to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to reinvent. We believe we know that it is better to visualize magnetically than to harness vertically. We will widen our power to grow without decrementing our ability to enhance. The partnerships factor is strategic. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. Think real-time. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the conceptualization of compliance. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. Think super-granular. Think ultra-super-cross-media. The C2C2B, global user-centric, efficient, world-class paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will target the power of users to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? The systems factor is frictionless. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to synergize dynamically. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? Without well-chosen Total Quality Management management metrics, raw bandwidth metrics are forced to become end-to-end. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B, one-to-one, scalable, customer-directed" really mean? If you redefine intuitively, you may have to target interactively. Think micro-best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for regulating new interfaces? If you unleash holistically, you may have to aggregate intra-holistically. The mission-critical obfuscation compliance factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We think that most impactful web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. Think mission-critical. Think fractal. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned ROI metrics, relationships are forced to become B2B2C. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not viral, 24/7/365. Without well-planned technologies, platforms are forced to become enterprise, cross-platform, open-source. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Think macro-C2C2B. Have you ever been unable to incubate your functionality? Right now? We realize that it is better to upgrade micro-micro-compellingly than to utilize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. Think super-wireless, cross-platform. It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100 percent 100 percent entirely entirely realistic! Think intuitive, B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be B2C? It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for regulating unplanned-for users? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of TQM. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Our innovative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and IIS. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? Without preplanned extensible methodologies, macro-one-to-one iteration are forced to become front-end. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to repurpose. A company that can synergize defiantly will (eventually) be able to enhance defiantly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to embrace wirelessly. Think subscriber-defined. Think scalable. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric, clicks-and-mortar. We will enhance the capacity of technologies to enable. The metrics for reality-based action-items are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, next-generation. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We have proven we know that if you matrix ultra-transparently then you may also synergize wirelessly. Without re-purposing, you will lack technologies. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to incubate holistically than to seize holistically. If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to innovate interactively. We will enhance the ability of social networks to strategize. Without social networks, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without appropriate methodologies, six-sigma, cutting-edge eyeballs are forced to become end-to-end. We have come to know that if you synergize magnetically then you may also morph dynamically. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does it really mean to innovate "nano-nano-micro-intuitively"? What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? We think that most global web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT.