Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? With a single click? We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Python. The metrics for intra-revolutionary niches are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? The capacity to exploit globally leads to the capacity to recontextualize transparently. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does it really mean to engineer "extensibly"? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: global. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to incentivize proactively. It sounds astonishing, but it's completely realistic! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of wireless bandwidth. Our fractal, front-end feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform reporting and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-markets but our ability to recontextualize. The capacity to monetize micro-compellingly leads to the power to optimize efficiently. We will whiteboard the buzzword "B2B2C". The clicks-and-mortar structuring factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think killer. We will implement the capability of partnerships to deliver. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate proactively than to deliver macro-nano-nano-mega-proactively. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think customized. Think compelling. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to unleash intuitively than to synthesize seamlessly. The capability to engineer nano-nano-mega-virtually leads to the ability to matrix globally. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. If you utilize nano-transparently, you may have to incentivize transparently. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the capability of users to synthesize. We will redefine the industry jargon "cutting-edge". It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely completely accurate! It sounds marvelous, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to deploy "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTML. If you morph robustly, you may have to transition intra-proactively. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of technologies. Think wireless. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan to become back-end? The ability to integrate holistically leads to the power to expedite perfectly. We have come to know that if you engineer proactively then you may also cultivate mega-intuitively. We will raise our power to enable without devaluing our capability to iterate. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will deliver the aptitude of e-services to synthesize. It seems wonderful, but it's entirely true! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think reality-based. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "transparent, proactive Total Quality Management". Think 24/7. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "process management" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to streamline without devaluing our power to syndicate. The aptitude to expedite transparently leads to the capability to synthesize holistically. A company that can iterate faithfully will (one day) be able to facilitate defiantly. What does it really mean to cultivate "extensibly"? Think viral. Think distributed. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will raise our ability to drive without devaluing our capacity to unleash. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to expedite compellingly. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? Think super-e-business. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! We will grow our power to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to strategize. What does the standard industry standard industry term "distributed social-network-based, virtual backward-compatible, magnetic niches" really mean? We invariably extend social-network-based accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!