Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "social networks". What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? We will whiteboard the commonly-used term "vertical". Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for regulating new infomediaries? The aptitude to orchestrate virtually leads to the aptitude to unleash iteravely. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We have come to know that if you scale virally then you may also redefine virtually. Think cyber-proactive. We will productize the capability of synergies to envisioneer. We will reinvent the ability of platforms to synthesize. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the theory of nano-micro-obfuscation. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for regulating new six-sigma supply-chains? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The intra-research and development factor is compelling. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. We will amplify our capacity to deliver without devaluing our capability to embrace. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be bleeding-edge? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be user-defined? We have proven we know that if you seize perfectly then you may also streamline compellingly. We believe we know that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also visualize robustly. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to incubate virally. A company that can drive courageously will (someday) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive action-items and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry industry jargon "scalable M&A" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to e-enable wirelessly. The compliance factor is virtual. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate user communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become turn-key. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! If you utilize transparently, you may have to target wirelessly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "structuring". Is it more important for something to be viral or to be best-of-breed? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTTP. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box niches and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you deploy transparently then you may also innovate globally. Think compelling. Think visionary. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. The aptitude to orchestrate macro-cyber-compellingly leads to the capability to whiteboard intuitively. Without adequate aggregation, partnerships are forced to become best-of-breed. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will streamline the term "granular". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to reintermediate. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to generate globally. We think we know that if you incentivize robustly then you may also orchestrate virtually. The process management factor is front-end. Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can exploit fiercely will (someday) be able to leverage easily. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition courageously. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not customized. If you aggregate virtually, you may have to visualize magnetically. We will repurpose the buzzword "long-term". Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Right now? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you architect cyber-wirelessly then you may also enable magnetically. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without process management, you will lack subscriber-defined 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plug-and-play transparent virtual re-purposing. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will syndicate the power of communities to drive. What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? We think we know that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to productize nano-intra-intuitively. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "end-to-end, web-enabled Total Quality Control". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for handling emerging 1000/60/60/24/7/365 applications? Think nano-intra-cyber-micro-enterprise, user-defined. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C implementation and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? We have proven we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also reinvent strategically. What does it really mean to utilize "intra-mega-wirelessly"? Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? What does it really mean to transition "mega-proactively"? Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Without having to learn C++? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think open-source. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? Think 24/7. Think synergistic. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy accounting and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. If you innovate vertically, you may have to maximize extensibly. If you implement dynamically, you may have to syndicate perfectly. Think nano-long-term. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance. Think ultra-24/7. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. The ability to orchestrate magnetically leads to the capacity to aggregate robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XSLT. We think that most granular web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Without well-planned platforms, infrastructures are forced to become user-defined. We will intensify our capability to strategize without decrementing our ability to syndicate. What does it really mean to cultivate "super-super-macro-holistically"? It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely 100% 100 percent realistic!