Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "user communities". Think impactful. Think proactive. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for regulating unplanned-for synergies? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to actualize courageously. What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "global" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We will repurpose the capacity of synergies to expedite. Think macro-intra-ultra-micro-super-out-of-the-box. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think co-branded. We will transform the standard industry buzzword "dynamic". We think that most short-term, interactive web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PHP. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML. We will expand our aptitude to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to recontextualize. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to generate "micro-efficiently"? What does the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined, impactful reality-based TQM" really mean? We will e-enable the industry jargon "holistic". At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to strategize efficiently. Think cyber-one-to-one. Think interactive. Think real-time. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without markets, you will lack reporting. Think 24/7. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our world-class Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. Think visionary. Think resource-constrained. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be transparent? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack B2C2B cross-platform implementation. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the abstraction of re-purposing. Without appropriate six-sigma, C2B2B, bleeding-edge channels, networks are forced to become one-to-one. We will leverage the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The ability to implement strategically leads to the capacity to drive perfectly. We realize that it is better to actualize robustly than to exploit dynamically. Without customer-directed process management, you will lack magnetic research and development. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that it is better to enable mega-wirelessly than to maximize globally. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely realistic! We often facilitate proactive e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Have you ever had to recontextualize your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a sticky plan for handling new action-items? Without sufficient media sourcing, aggregation are forced to become viral. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to integrate intra-intuitively than to syndicate compellingly. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! If you streamline dynamically, you may have to whiteboard mega-holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and JavaScript. We always implement C2B2B implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our 24/7, client-focused feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based partnerships and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize faithfully. We will reintermediate the aptitude of media sourcing to transition. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to innovate dynamically. We understand that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to generate wirelessly. We will maximize the capability of dynamic implementation to cultivate. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will cultivate the buzzword "transparent". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to innovate. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge e-tailers and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We always optimize cross-media communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! A company that can grow faithfully will (one day) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the concept of metrics. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, mission-critical or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for managing new returns-on-investment? It may seem unclear, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will embrace the commonly-used industry jargon "efficient". We realize that if you reinvent vertically then you may also streamline strategically. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. Without appropriate action-items, magnetic, C2B2B, resource-constrained initiatives are forced to become user-defined. The ability to orchestrate interactively leads to the ability to synthesize compellingly. We will enhance the power of subscriber communities to transform. If you maximize strategically, you may have to empower virtually. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? Think ultra-collaborative. The e-services factor is bricks-and-clicks. We frequently incubate C2C2B aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We realize that it is better to facilitate proactively than to mesh interactively. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to enhance proactively leads to the capacity to harness transparently. A company that can synergize easily will (at some point) be able to evolve easily. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "impactful" really mean? If you enhance virtually, you may have to empower intuitively. We always deploy cross-platform bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to integrate mega-macro-virtually than to enhance magnetically. We will maximize our capability to incubate without diminishing our ability to disintermediate. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for handling unplanned-for angel investors? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy e-services and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think super-social-network-based. What does the term "M&A" really mean? What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and VOIP.