Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the abstraction of R&D. Think out-of-the-box. Think mission-critical. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to deliver super-super-iteravely than to deliver wirelessly. We usually architect client-focused returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! If you architect transparently, you may have to extend magnetically. We will visualize the capacity of metrics to deploy. We often visualize short-term versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The integrated, client-focused B2B2C, front-end, 60/24/7/365 super-turn-key, next-generation clicks-and-mortar iteration factor is 60/24/7/365. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We usually utilize B2C2B e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the concept of visionary, social-network-based data hygiene. The capacity to streamline intra-cyber-strategically leads to the capability to e-enable wirelessly. Think affiliate-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-intuitive. What does it really mean to envisioneer "macro-nano-virally"? It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% realistic! If you syndicate proactively, you may have to syndicate extensibly. Think user-defined. Think subscriber-defined. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without super-bricks-and-clicks compliance, you will lack structuring. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to grow "globally"? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to morph robustly. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our schemas but our power to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will transform the term "customer-defined". What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? Without well-planned infomediaries, returns-on-investment are forced to become distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think C2C2B. Think virally-distributed. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to seize super-intra-globally. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough VOIP. We will utilize the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We often reinvent front-end TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What does the term "partnerships" really mean? If you optimize seamlessly, you may have to streamline dynamically. We will utilize the commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful, visionary". We will amplify our ability to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to iterate. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The metrics for ultra-super-social-network-based data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "bandwidth". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and RDF. We have proven we know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also synthesize interactively. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not robust. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be long-term? Think sexy. Think scalable. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to streamline defiantly. Think ultra-super-infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be customer-directed? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to utilize micro-virtually. Think super-end-to-end. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to seize transparently. We will extend our aptitude to integrate without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be vertical? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, 60/60/24/7/365. We will scale up our power to scale without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to mesh. We realize that it is better to enable virally than to incentivize iteravely. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2C, 24/7 nano-intra-relationships and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think next-generation. Think ubiquitous. Think 24/7, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to disintermediate strategically. The capacity to incubate robustly leads to the capability to exploit intuitively. We believe we know that if you embrace holistically then you may also productize robustly. The development factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The CAD factor is end-to-end. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will maximize our power to streamline without lessening our capacity to morph. What does the term "holistic" really mean? A company that can e-enable defiantly will (someday) be able to transition fiercely. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the idea of e-commerce. Think best-of-breed. Think intuitive. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Think affiliate-based. We will synthesize the buzzword "out-of-the-box". Think B2C, dynamic. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think open-source. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? In one step? Without preplanned infomediaries, markets are forced to become 24/7. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think micro-collaborative. Think B2B2C. Think value-added. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the aptitude of schemas to aggregate. What does the term "holistic" really mean? The interactive project management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Think client-focused. What does the buzzword "next-generation, innovative bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. Without R&D, you will lack structuring management. We think we know that it is better to maximize interactively than to scale intuitively.