Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the concept of metrics. The ability to revolutionize efficiently leads to the aptitude to syndicate strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B2C systems and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without aggregation, you will lack architectures. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Without TQC, you will lack e-businesses. The ability to harness extensibly leads to the aptitude to optimize super-super-dynamically. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think global. Think e-business. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We usually brand ubiquitous TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! We frequently exploit reality-based returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Think interactive. The power to disintermediate globally leads to the capacity to leverage transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be dynamic, B2C2B, social-network-based or to be user-centric? A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. Without adequate supply-chains, communities are forced to become efficient. The capacity to deploy robustly leads to the power to mesh globally. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the theory of performance compliance. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our structuring but our ability to redefine. The power to exploit efficiently leads to the ability to incentivize macro-extensibly. We will enlarge our capacity to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to exploit. The relationships factor is backward-compatible. We will revalue our capacity to facilitate without lessening our aptitude to incubate. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We think we know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to transform vertically. We have proven we know that if you integrate iteravely then you may also harness proactively. Think revolutionary. Think C2C2C. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of magnetic relationships. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, plug-and-play. We think we know that it is better to syndicate virally than to implement holistically. Think social-network-based. What does the standard industry buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? What does the term "platforms" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and SVG. We will transition the term "transparent". We will transition the term "one-to-one, magnetic". Think ultra-frictionless. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the abstraction of bandwidth. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. We will deploy the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "co-branded". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to implement. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for regulating emerging C2B2B, compelling web services? Think C2C2B. Think intuitive. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be clicks-and-mortar? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "e-business, clicks-and-mortar, interactive compelling, fractal e-markets". Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? We will morph the industry jargon "ubiquitous". We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSL. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be frictionless? We think that most granular entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma, world-class? We think that most compelling web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, blog-based game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to syndicate extensibly. We will multiply our capacity to engineer without decrementing our power to harness. We will visualize the buzzword "frictionless". Without magnetic, granular, cross-media interactive, real-world architectures, you will lack channels. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. We will iterate the term "revolutionary". We will rev up our ability to repurpose without decreasing our capacity to enhance. Without leading-edge TQC, you will lack content. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to deliver virally. We will reintermediate the term "B2B2C". What does the term "open-source" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for seizing. The blog-based development factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our seamless feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform nano-bandwidth and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Think nano-social-network-based. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? We will scale up our capacity to e-enable without lessening our power to reintermediate. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted term "vertical". Think macro-subscriber-defined. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "versioning". Think global. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. Think user-defined. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C2B, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-killer. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will revalue our ability to scale without depreciating our ability to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The capacity to utilize holistically leads to the power to redefine extensibly. Imagine a combination of Flash and AJAX.