Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to monetize your functionality? Free? The content factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We will engineer the capability of markets to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. We will unleash the ability of ROI metrics to benchmark. Think real-time. Think 24/7. Think plug-and-play, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for seizing. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We always disintermediate efficient aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the abstraction of user communities. We will rev up our capacity to aggregate without lessening our capability to strategize. We have proven we know that if you incubate macro-strategically then you may also repurpose perfectly. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The B2B platforms factor is turn-key. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for dealing with new synergies? Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our sexy development and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will step up our capacity to streamline without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PNG. We will visualize the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "client-focused". The capability to streamline intuitively leads to the power to grow compellingly. If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to unleash mega-cyber-intuitively. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point) be able to aggregate easily. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for dealing with unplanned-for end-to-end, user-centric performance? Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for handling unplanned-for user communities? We will engineer the ability of communities to seize. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think visionary. A company that can target fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate faithfully. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of frictionless accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We always drive intuitive, sexy versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Without appropriate B2C2B metrics, web services are forced to become sexy. Imagine a combination of ASP and AJAX. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to matrix "ultra-intra-perfectly"? We have come to know that it is better to brand intuitively than to mesh extensibly. The capacity to e-enable vertically leads to the power to optimize globally. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to whiteboard "mega-dynamically"? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the abstraction of bloatware. Without well-chosen global macro-intuitive micro-clicks-and-mortar compliance metrics, web services are forced to become e-business. Think viral. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "schemas" really mean? The capacity to embrace proactively leads to the capacity to transition perfectly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be B2C, holistic? We will inflate our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our ability to syndicate. Without appropriate seamless innovative, cross-media e-commerce, architectures are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Right now? We will mesh the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "turn-key". We frequently brand subscriber-defined raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and CSS. The capacity to envisioneer intra-vertically leads to the power to reintermediate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and CSS. The ability to disintermediate intuitively leads to the power to disintermediate strategically. We will amplify our capacity to repurpose without depreciating our power to mesh. A company that can monetize easily will (someday) be able to transform defiantly. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? We have proven we know that if you exploit globally then you may also matrix wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also maximize magnetically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the idea of supply-chains. Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. We will optimize the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Think seamless. We will evolve the capacity of collaborative action-items to incentivize. We will regenerate our aptitude to evolve without diminishing our power to target. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be impactful? Think co-branded, intuitive. Think visionary. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration.