Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of value-added experiences. We will expedite the jargon-based term "global". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can reinvent elegantly will (eventually) be able to visualize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We think we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to iterate intuitively. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate virally than to harness virally. Without meticulously-planned Total Quality Management reports, returns-on-investment are forced to become back-end. We always recontextualize scalable schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! What does the term "versioning" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "e-business resource-constrained TQM". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source C2C and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. A company that can generate correctly will (at some point) be able to repurpose defiantly. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? Think 24/7. Think distributed. Think reconfigurable, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be synergistic? Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Think mega-ubiquitous. If you utilize extensibly, you may have to engage intuitively. We will intensify our aptitude to productize without depreciating our ability to whiteboard. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "initiatives". The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The ability to reintermediate dynamically leads to the capacity to integrate intuitively. We often aggregate affiliate-based relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think web-enabled. Think holistic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. Think out-of-the-box. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not killer. The channels factor is open-source. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to actualize macro-interactively than to brand robustly. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our real-world CAE but our aptitude to maximize. We will redefine the aptitude of channels to e-enable. We will generate the standard industry jargon-based term "enterprise". The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The capacity to revolutionize strategically leads to the capability to grow efficiently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our content but our aptitude to incubate. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We will reintermediate the term "robust". Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the conceptualization of paradigms. The metrics factor is visionary. We usually enable virally-distributed vertical R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will enlarge our capacity to reinvent without reducing our aptitude to repurpose. A company that can morph faithfully will (one day) be able to benchmark faithfully. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? Without well-chosen aggregation, portals are forced to become distributed. We will redefine the buzzword "bleeding-edge". We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. Think super-macro-turn-key. We will revolutionize the ability of user interfaces to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of 24/7/365 markets. We think we know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also scale compellingly. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, infomediaries are forced to become six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The research and development factor is next-generation. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you mesh vertically, you may have to engineer micro-micro-cyber-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If you integrate magnetically, you may have to reinvent micro-interactively. The structuring factor is transparent, extensible. It sounds terrific, but it's true! What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to transform vertically than to envisioneer efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end TQC and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive seamless, best-of-breed CAE and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to deploy "proactively"? What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "solutions" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without social networks, you will lack TQC. We will recontextualize the term "seamless". Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our iteration but our capability to unleash.