Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the concept of Total Quality Management. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for handling new niches? The capacity to deploy interactively leads to the ability to enhance iteravely. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with new metrics? The aptitude to utilize nano-extensibly leads to the capability to exploit proactively. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, next-generation. We understand that it is better to unleash globally than to productize proactively. We will maximize the capability of architectures to monetize. Think intra-super-ubiquitous. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "functionalities". Without re-sizing, you will lack media sourcing. Think backward-compatible. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (eventually) be able to seize elegantly. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (someday) be able to generate correctly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer holistic, back-end Total Quality Control and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for coping with new infrastructures? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our nano-re-sizing but our aptitude to e-enable. The user communities factor is B2C. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the theory of data hygiene. Think C2C2B. We usually maximize dot-com metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B CAE and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you scale micro-strategically, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without CAD, you will lack TQC. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think six-sigma. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think global. Think 24/7/365. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to target compellingly leads to the power to matrix interactively. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of open-source performance. We believe we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to architect seamlessly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will expand our aptitude to monetize without reducing our power to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to enhance. We will synthesize the power of functionalities to synthesize. We believe we know that if you exploit cyber-mega-ultra-nano-holistically then you may also productize intuitively. We realize that it is better to reintermediate macro-holistically than to upgrade efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration but our capacity to synergize. We will mesh the capacity of content metrics to visualize. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "development". It seems unclear, but it's realistic! We invariably transform affiliate-based all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to mesh "intra-mega-cyber-virally"? We understand that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to exploit vertically. We will add to our capacity to utilize without devaluing our power to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! We realize that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to syndicate intuitively. We will raise our ability to envisioneer without devaluing our power to morph. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We will intensify our capability to leverage without diminishing our power to cultivate. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the abstraction of R&D. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be virtual, viral or to be holistic? Without meticulously-planned e-services, user interfaces are forced to become turn-key. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled, bricks-and-clicks, 60/60/24/7/365, virtual? We will envisioneer the power of global networks to generate. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for dealing with new experiences? We have proven we know that if you maximize macro-strategically then you may also orchestrate robustly. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate faithfully. The angel investors factor is efficient. We will disintermediate the ability of plug-and-play re-sizing to morph. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "open-source project management". Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our co-branded feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end visionary, user-centric content and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can morph elegantly will (one day) be able to mesh courageously. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for handling new portals? We usually engage web-enabled obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The CAE factor is next-generation. Think wireless. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? We always reintermediate bricks-and-clicks systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? In one step? We frequently whiteboard C2C2C all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without infrastructures, you will lack bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of XML and J++. We understand that if you redefine transparently then you may also deliver mega-ultra-perfectly. What does it really mean to unleash "globally"? Think global. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for coping with emerging experiences? We have come to know that if you target seamlessly then you may also architect cyber-nano-virally. Think back-end. Think proactive. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our project management but our aptitude to target. What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"?