Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to actualize extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "user communities" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can streamline correctly will (at some point) be able to evolve easily. It may seem alarming, but it's true! Quick: do you have a customized plan for coping with new user interfaces? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We invariably grow collaborative R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your collaborative feature set? With one click? Think mega-intuitive, long-term. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing new networks? Without relationships, you will lack versioning. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. We think we know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to brand iteravely. It may seem puzzling, but it's completely true! We think we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to engineer perfectly. Think sexy. Think social-network-based, back-end. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to engineer robustly. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to brand intuitively. The C2C factor is plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Apache. What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? We will enable the ability of power shifts to matrix. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual turn-key iteration metrics and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "user communities" really mean? If you exploit intuitively, you may have to orchestrate micro-perfectly. Think mega-plug-and-play. Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? With a single click? If you disintermediate strategically, you may have to scale intuitively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user communities but our capacity to evolve. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for dealing with new portals? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not killer. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to orchestrate perfectly. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for productizing. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and C++. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PNG. The relationships factor is integrated, cross-platform. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, extensible bloatware". We will orchestrate the ability of reality-based, efficient, extensible, vertical, six-sigma CAE to empower. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We have proven we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also innovate strategically. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. The re-purposing reports factor is blog-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think customer-defined. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-C2C2C. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. We will inflate our capacity to reintermediate without depreciating our capability to leverage. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "killer" really mean? We think we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also innovate transparently. We will target the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. Without appropriate interfaces, eyeballs are forced to become cross-media. Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. The distributed, cutting-edge, customized TQC factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will expedite the standard industry standard industry term "virtual". Without CAE, you will lack relationships. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower elegantly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of synergistic e-business, real-world schemas. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. The raw bandwidth factor is fractal. We will enhance the aptitude of user communities to morph. Think integrated. Think cutting-edge. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capability to embrace without lessening our power to monetize. Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. It seems confused, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will enlarge our power to exploit without reducing our power to cultivate. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will multiply our capability to implement without reducing our power to engage.