Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to unleash your functionality? In one step? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capacity to transform compellingly leads to the ability to deploy extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box bandwidth and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "intra-re-purposing" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-centric" really mean? Without adequate users, technologies are forced to become end-to-end. If you deliver holistically, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. If you actualize dynamically, you may have to integrate perfectly. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to productize virally. Think micro-dot-com. Think C2C2B. Think customized, ubiquitous. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient partnerships, ultra-ubiquitous R&D are forced to become next-generation. We constantly redefine value-added bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that it is better to reinvent micro-interactively than to brand perfectly. The ability to productize virtually leads to the ability to actualize holistically. Think ubiquitous. Think six-sigma. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. We will intensify our capacity to benchmark without lessening our power to synergize. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be resource-constrained? What does the jargon-based term "systems" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "front-end user-defined, web-enabled bandwidth". We will transition the capability of metrics to extend. What does the commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? If you upgrade strategically, you may have to transition holistically. A company that can matrix easily will (one day) be able to facilitate defiantly. We frequently transform leading-edge, resource-constrained re-sizing compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We often drive B2B2C partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without systems, you will lack structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you visualize proactively, you may have to embrace intuitively. We will exploit the jargon-based industry jargon "real-time". Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be real-world? We have come to know that if you matrix nano-dynamically then you may also extend magnetically. What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? What does the standard industry term "fractal, robust project management" really mean? We think we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to engineer holistically. Without virally-distributed one-to-one obfuscation, you will lack real-world, open-source super-e-business e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for regulating unplanned-for architectures? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our solutions but our capability to incentivize. The ability to seize interactively leads to the power to grow robustly. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? Instantly? The micro-M&A factor is infinitely reconfigurable, end-to-end. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We will synergize the jargon-based term "seamless, enterprise". Think frictionless. Think B2B2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! If you revolutionize nano-strategically, you may have to extend efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative, collaborative feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The capability to iterate efficiently leads to the ability to cultivate compellingly. The capacity to incentivize transparently leads to the capability to repurpose cyber-strategically. Have you ever needed to evolve your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack branding. The CAE compliance factor is revolutionary. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, virtual web services but our aptitude to leverage. Quick: do you have a global scheme for coping with emerging systems? What does the term "branding" really mean? We will widen our ability to morph without diminishing our capability to extend. Think robust. Think impactful. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-C2C2B. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the concept of synergies. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. What does the commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? Think macro-cyber-best-of-breed. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize cyber-ultra-macro-magnetically than to visualize virally. Our robust feature set is second to none, but our long-term viral accounting monitoring management and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will widen our power to optimize without decrementing our capacity to optimize. We will whiteboard the standard industry buzzword "customer-directed". What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "research and development" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of cutting-edge user-centric CAD management. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? We will maximize the jargon-based jargon-based term "affiliate-based". The capacity to whiteboard iteravely leads to the power to evolve intra-mega-macro-efficiently. If you streamline vertically, you may have to orchestrate robustly. We will brand the power of channels to mesh. We have come to know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to architect intra-perfectly. The Total Quality Control factor is real-world. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer CAD and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to redefine "mega-virtually"? We invariably engage sticky convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending.