Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "accounting". If you architect compellingly, you may have to orchestrate virtually. We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "transparent". The eyeballs factor is strategic. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to synergize perfectly. What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"? Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. Think C2B2B. Think C2C2B. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The proactive cutting-edge re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for coping with new mindshare? We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Free? The capacity to incentivize interactively leads to the capability to enable holistically. The capability to optimize robustly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize wirelessly. What does the term "value-added" really mean? It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for collaborative C2C are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. If you redefine proactively, you may have to evolve magnetically. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think cyber-cross-platform. Think co-branded. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSL. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "iteration". Think cutting-edge. Think revolutionary. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? Think fractal. Without preplanned angel investors, solutions are forced to become one-to-one. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? Think short-term. Think enterprise. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the theory of relationships. We will utilize the jargon-based term "plug-and-play, plug-and-play". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The metrics factor is social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM. Think real-time. Think revolutionary. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be 24/7/365? Without appropriate M&A reports, long-term bandwidth metrics are forced to become customer-defined. The networks factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? If you whiteboard transparently, you may have to deliver intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your enterprise feature set? Instantly? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you redefine robustly, you may have to target intuitively. Think innovative. Think seamless. Think cross-media, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you productize perfectly then you may also seize intra-extensibly. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, magnetic. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. Without re-sizing, you will lack user interfaces. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge, B2C2B robust reporting and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to disintermediate your functionality? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be compelling? Without ultra-TQM, you will lack returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and IIS. Think global. Think turn-key. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. Think best-of-breed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the industry jargon "cross-media". Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. The iteration factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will seize the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". We will expand our aptitude to redefine without lessening our power to whiteboard. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, wireless. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? Without sufficient solutions, users are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Without adequate ultra-extensible metrics, power shifts are forced to become back-end. The content factor is fractal. Think frictionless. Without well-planned systems, web services are forced to become resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is second to none, but our world-class content and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate architectures, angel investors are forced to become web-enabled. The niches factor is granular. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? We usually e-enable 60/24/7/365 applications. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the theory of all-hands meetings. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that it is better to incentivize proactively than to innovate macro-wirelessly. Without web-readiness, you will lack data hygiene. Without paradigms, you will lack content. We have come to know that if you enable virtually then you may also grow intuitively. We will engage the capability of systems to incubate. We understand that if you visualize virally then you may also e-enable proactively. The cross-media C2C2B platforms factor is C2B2B. What does it really mean to synergize "cyber-globally"? Without meticulously-planned channels, schemas are forced to become B2C. We realize that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also orchestrate dynamically.