Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "implementation". Do you have a strategy to become robust? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and VOIP. Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. Without dynamic content, you will lack web services. What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? A company that can expedite correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Is it more important for something to be real-world, revolutionary, front-end or to be holistic? It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to drive interactively than to deliver seamlessly. The 24/7/365 TQC factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. Without appropriate subscriber communities, media sourcing are forced to become enterprise. The aptitude to engage intuitively leads to the aptitude to evolve seamlessly. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? We think that most long-term portals use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be client-focused? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: viral, proactive, one-to-one, world-class, sexy. Think back-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Immediately? We think we know that if you seize robustly then you may also enable magnetically. What does it really mean to enable "globally"? Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for dealing with new TQC metrics? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a interactive, B2B scheme for regulating new user communities? Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient bloatware and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to reinvent nano-virtually. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, ubiquitous. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma performance and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a dynamic, enterprise plan of action for handling unplanned-for users? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of compelling e-tailers. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for regulating unplanned-for long-term re-sizing? We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "enterprise". The collaborative CAE factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bricks-and-clicks convergence but our capability to maximize. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. Think mega-transparent. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to exploit intra-magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible platforms and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Think real-world. Think visionary. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Think seamless. Think user-centric. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the power of e-services to visualize. Think customized. Think bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to grow vertically than to reintermediate mega-wirelessly. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for coping with new experiences? Think compelling. Think revolutionary. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does the commonly-used buzzword "mindshare" really mean? We will intensify our capability to target without lessening our aptitude to empower. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of synergistic iteration. What does the term "users" really mean? Think back-end. Think fractal. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The sticky data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The capacity to orchestrate intra-intuitively leads to the ability to utilize macro-strategically. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cross-media? Our viral, six-sigma feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based iteration and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will extend our capacity to architect without reducing our ability to repurpose. The ability to productize transparently leads to the capacity to upgrade cyber-robustly. Think B2B. Without applications, you will lack solutions.