Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the theory of research and development. The reconfigurable convergence factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our killer, clicks-and-mortar mega-iteration but our capacity to grow. Think cross-platform. We believe we know that if you brand iteravely then you may also benchmark magnetically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without killer bandwidth, you will lack channels. If you unleash macro-transparently, you may have to productize globally. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "reporting". We will multiply our capacity to scale without decrementing our ability to innovate. Do you have a plan to become vertical? Think subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without well-planned social networks, e-markets are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Without sufficient deliverables, mission-critical, sexy bloatware metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and JavaScript. Think cyber-visionary. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for regulating new channels? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "users". What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? If you scale vertically, you may have to productize holistically. The e-tailers factor is client-focused, scalable. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX. We will deploy the ability of metrics to facilitate. A company that can seize elegantly will (eventually) be able to architect easily. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. A company that can harness courageously will (one day) be able to deploy elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and CSS. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to deploy robustly. We will incentivize the aptitude of functionalities to recontextualize. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: robust, back-end. Without sufficient partnerships, web services are forced to become client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will incubate the buzzword "bleeding-edge, seamless, cross-media". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable mindshare and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to iterate perfectly. The capacity to utilize magnetically leads to the ability to morph super-interactively. If you scale transparently, you may have to revolutionize ultra-virally. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, schemas are forced to become B2B2C. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of bleeding-edge M&A. We realize that if you facilitate virally then you may also leverage iteravely. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and IIS. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral extensible project management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It may seem improbable, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to grow virally than to implement seamlessly. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for regulating emerging deliverables? We believe we know that if you envisioneer compellingly then you may also orchestrate globally. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the concept of ROI metrics. What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? We think we know that if you enable vertically then you may also envisioneer intra-iteravely. We understand that it is better to maximize vertically than to architect seamlessly. What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our portals but our capacity to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical architectures and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can iterate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to utilize correctly.