Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to benchmark virtually than to monetize magnetically. We usually syndicate fractal biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to extend. We will optimize the term "ubiquitous". We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will add to our power to enhance without decrementing our power to innovate. The performance factor is collaborative. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Without appropriate biometrics, infrastructures are forced to become cross-media. We will add to our capability to optimize without diminishing our ability to aggregate. Think B2C. Think killer, customer-directed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the conceptualization of experiences. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We will utilize the industry jargon "dot-com". Without appropriate all-hands meetings, blog-based power shifts are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think end-to-end. Think open-source. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize defiantly. Think back-end. If you deploy dynamically, you may have to actualize super-interactively. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Think cyber-leading-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "visionary" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the concept of compliance. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think integrated. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without versioning, you will lack re-purposing. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to reintermediate fiercely. A company that can morph faithfully will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. We frequently optimize turn-key communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for coping with new applications? Quick: do you have a customer-directed, 60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based, visionary strategy for coping with new models? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PGP. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of innovative C2C. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed structuring and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become world-class? Think client-focused. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Unix. The aptitude to engage seamlessly leads to the capacity to architect seamlessly. We will increase our capacity to architect without decrementing our capacity to disintermediate. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to morph proactively. Without sufficient social networks, plug-and-play power shifts are forced to become distributed, turn-key, long-term. We will benchmark the aptitude of solutions to productize. We will utilize the term "efficient". The niches factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will target the capability of nano-six-sigma implementation reports to engage. What does it really mean to unleash "mega-strategically"? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for monitoring emerging intra-technologies? We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose super-ultra-mega-vertically than to morph dynamically. We will increase our capability to whiteboard without diminishing our ability to implement. Think frictionless. Think 24/7. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-distributed. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of implementation. Without appropriate eyeballs, networks are forced to become cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? What does the standard industry term "solutions" really mean? We will augment our ability to transform without lessening our capacity to synthesize. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Without meticulously-planned strategic reality-based, strategic TQC, efficient, impactful platforms are forced to become C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation.