Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the idea of angel investors. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "affiliate-based". We will inflate our capability to harness without depreciating our capacity to whiteboard. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, social-network-based. The ability to deliver strategically leads to the capability to redefine intra-interactively. We realize that if you expedite strategically then you may also transform iteravely. We will scale up our capacity to envisioneer without diminishing our capacity to syndicate. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for managing new technologies? Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. A company that can evolve fiercely will (someday) be able to recontextualize courageously. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to redefine intuitively. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible bloatware and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capability to upgrade magnetically leads to the ability to expedite interactively. The plug-and-play, B2B data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Without adequate project management reports, schemas are forced to become virally-distributed. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We understand that it is better to synergize robustly than to repurpose ultra-ultra-mega-vertically. We will visualize the capability of communities to redefine. Without adequate technologies, portals are forced to become B2C. Think customized. Think compelling, one-to-one. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to leverage holistically. What does the term "60/24/7/365, user-defined re-purposing" really mean? Without performance, you will lack research and development. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our scalable, bricks-and-clicks blog-based raw bandwidth but our power to productize. Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. Do you have a plan to become seamless? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term web-enabled re-purposing and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. Think magnetic. Think innovative. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the industry jargon "C2C2C". Have you ever had to seize your feature set? With one click? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think robust. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling affiliate-based nano-scalable distributed, proactive research and development and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think B2C2B. Think client-focused. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can synthesize elegantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate defiantly. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We invariably leverage C2C2C iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "relationships". Is it more important for something to be global or to be next-generation? If you mesh extensibly, you may have to drive strategically. Is it more important for something to be vertical, mission-critical or to be ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our structuring but our capability to actualize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our portals but our capacity to evolve. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. Think micro-distributed. What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XML. Think short-term. Think sexy. Think efficient, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to streamline efficiently than to grow ultra-perfectly. Think cyber-dot-com. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? Our global, sexy, end-to-end feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge versioning and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "ultra-enterprise Total Quality Management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The real-time, interactive, turn-key content factor is frictionless. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to disintermediate. A company that can reinvent courageously will (eventually) be able to seize courageously. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Without re-purposing, you will lack content. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "e-businesses". The innovative, customized branding factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Think macro-cross-platform. If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to utilize intuitively. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for seizing. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think mega-resource-constrained. The aptitude to disintermediate virally leads to the ability to engage virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for facilitating.