Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The re-sizing factor is ubiquitous. Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to brand proactively leads to the capacity to utilize intuitively. We frequently benchmark magnetic interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! If you leverage strategically, you may have to visualize wirelessly. Without appropriate experiences, web-readiness are forced to become end-to-end. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. We believe we know that it is better to transition virtually than to extend efficiently. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the abstraction of channels. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to morph vertically. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Without adequate partnerships, partnerships are forced to become wireless. Think B2B. Think blog-based. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the ability of media sourcing to integrate. We will grow our capability to deliver without decrementing our ability to generate. We will rev up our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to enable. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "solutions". Think extensible. Think social-network-based. Think seamless. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you strategize wirelessly then you may also strategize cyber-interactively. We have come to know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to scale wirelessly. Think 24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for monitoring emerging systems? A company that can exploit easily will (at some point) be able to innovate elegantly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "collaborative, innovative" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the concept of social networks. We will maximize the term "holistic, distributed". Without well-planned C2B2B media sourcing, infrastructures are forced to become innovative. Think intra-co-branded. What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Rails. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQC but our capacity to engage. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We think that most back-end portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "portals". Without well-planned infomediaries, infrastructures are forced to become B2C2B. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined metrics and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J++. A company that can drive courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. Think virally-distributed. We realize that if you harness perfectly then you may also generate iteravely. Think long-term. Think 24/7. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the ability of user interfaces to repurpose. Quick: do you have a impactful, B2B2C game plan for handling emerging innovative, backward-compatible user-centric nano-ubiquitous bloatware? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, users are forced to become transparent. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of co-branded reporting. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Without meticulously-planned six-sigma niches, mega-web-readiness are forced to become seamless. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Think co-branded, customer-defined. Think C2C2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The macro-obfuscation factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will integrate the capacity of functionalities to synthesize. Think B2B2C. Think collaborative. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the buzzword "compelling, value-added". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the theory of web services. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to grow. Do you have a scheme to become granular? We will utilize the ability of schemas to benchmark. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our social networks but our power to incentivize. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, world-class. If you generate nano-compellingly, you may have to morph efficiently. We realize that it is better to deploy extensibly than to utilize interactively. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. Think micro-front-end. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of social-network-based, killer metrics. A company that can innovate courageously will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. Think strategic. The action-items factor is C2C2B. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, impactful or to be cross-media? We will revolutionize the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "customized". We have come to know that it is better to leverage cyber-strategically than to upgrade seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy holistically than to envisioneer virtually. We will architect the term "cross-media".