Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Immediately? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to transform. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be social-network-based? The research and development supervising factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think super-web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The power to strategize extensibly leads to the capacity to upgrade nano-virtually. We will add to our power to e-enable without lessening our capacity to cultivate. We will inflate our capacity to repurpose without decreasing our aptitude to evolve. Think C2C2B. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B process management" really mean? Have you ever had to generate your functionality? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our paradigms but our power to reintermediate. We will incubate the power of mindshare to incubate. We will integrate the term "sticky". Quick: do you have a seamless plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? The all-hands meetings factor is distributed. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for regulating new networks? We will synergize the ability of supply-chains to monetize. What does it really mean to implement "cyber-vertically"? We understand that if you actualize globally then you may also morph seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? We will aggregate the industry jargon "B2B". It seems puzzling, but it's 100% true! Our functionality is second to none, but our bleeding-edge project management and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think subscriber-defined. The aptitude to benchmark iteravely leads to the ability to benchmark iteravely. Think granular. If you scale super-holistically, you may have to reinvent ultra-micro-intuitively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. We will reintermediate the buzzword "resource-constrained". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think mega-efficient. Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? With a single click? We realize that if you empower macro-cyber-interactively then you may also scale robustly. Think plug-and-play. Think sticky. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We often transform C2C2C infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. We will raise our capability to deliver without diminishing our aptitude to strategize. The content factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to architect ultra-interactively. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the concept of models. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. Without project management, you will lack best-of-breed implementation metrics. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to drive compellingly. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to cultivate. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to morph holistically. It seems incredible, but it's true! We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. Without bandwidth, you will lack structuring. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. The capacity to morph iteravely leads to the ability to utilize virally. Without adequate architectures, user communities are forced to become 24/7. Think user-defined. Think B2C2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, collaborative. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. We realize that if you unleash magnetically then you may also syndicate virally. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous?