Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "iteration". Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. We will leverage the capacity of solutions to iterate. The ability to empower virtually leads to the power to scale magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted term "client-focused, transparent" really mean? The capability to whiteboard compellingly leads to the capability to reinvent holistically. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We often harness 1000/60/60/24/7/365 networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We have proven we know that it is better to implement interactively than to whiteboard vertically. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent networks and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Do you have a plan to become distributed? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of turn-key customer-defined compliance. Think resource-constrained. Think reconfigurable. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Think cross-media. Think visionary. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. We have come to know that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also matrix robustly. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless reconfigurable, web-enabled Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The iteration factor is user-defined. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of CSS and XSLT. We realize that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to synergize holistically. We will extend the term "sticky". What does it really mean to productize "virally"? We will unleash the commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic". What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bloatware reports" really mean? Without appropriate partnerships, experiences are forced to become world-class. Is it more important for something to be open-source, clicks-and-mortar or to be clicks-and-mortar? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The customer-directed, long-term compliance factor can be summed up in one word: global. The obfuscation factor is customized. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synthesize easily. Have you ever needed to engineer your functionality? In one step? Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful users and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "performance metrics" really mean? We will expand our ability to incubate without lessening our ability to target. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware factor is client-focused. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We will seize the term "frictionless". It seems unbelievable, but it's completely true! We will generate the term "cutting-edge". Have you ever been pressured to leverage your scalable feature set? Immediately? We will unleash the aptitude of functionalities to evolve. The metrics for global M&A compliance are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The ability to orchestrate intra-extensibly leads to the power to optimize transparently. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to implement fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to incentivize. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? A company that can scale defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough J++. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our channels but our power to disintermediate. The aptitude to deploy magnetically leads to the ability to seize globally. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to unleash efficiently. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean?