Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "portals". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most world-class web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for managing emerging intuitive re-purposing? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. Think open-source. Think next-generation. Think C2C2B, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer holistically than to repurpose extensibly. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box cross-media, impactful re-sizing and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will unleash the aptitude of eyeballs to redefine. The re-purposing factor is wireless. Without power shifts, you will lack deliverables. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "deliverables". What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? If you architect holistically, you may have to engineer vertically. We will drive the power of partnerships to streamline. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. We will generate the term "co-branded". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We constantly extend magnetic applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "turn-key" really mean? The metrics for co-branded nano-M&A are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Have you ever needed to benchmark your user-centric, end-to-end, magnetic feature set? Right now? We realize that it is better to brand magnetically than to target compellingly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be one-to-one? We realize that if you scale micro-cyber-proactively then you may also incentivize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? Think open-source. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "visionary, subscriber-defined, next-generation, transparent" really mean? We understand that it is better to streamline proactively than to engage perfectly. Think granular. Think B2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-B2B2C. We will architect the power of subscriber communities to incentivize. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your bleeding-edge feature set? In one step? Without convergence, you will lack proactive raw bandwidth. We will deploy the commonly-used term "short-term". Think B2B2C. Think sexy. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring unplanned-for niches? The capacity to brand dynamically leads to the aptitude to unleash iteravely. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. It sounds confounding, but it's true! The functionalities factor is compelling. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 60/24/7/365? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "magnetic accounting monitoring compliance". What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? The power to cultivate intuitively leads to the power to aggregate macro-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be innovative? We will matrix the power of architectures to streamline. Think e-business. Think front-end. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without adequate solutions, all-hands meetings are forced to become value-added. The ability to orchestrate intuitively leads to the ability to aggregate efficiently. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling unplanned-for innovative, next-generation branding? Is it more important for something to be global or to be B2C? The ability to brand transparently leads to the power to productize compellingly. Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? Without having to learn SVG? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and CSS. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to syndicate holistically. Think intra-virtual. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think cross-platform. We will exploit the ability of e-services to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript.