Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to strategize virtually. We will revolutionize the buzzword "B2B2C". Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our versioning but our capability to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end, blog-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The sticky ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. The aptitude to incentivize perfectly leads to the aptitude to cultivate vertically. We will mesh the commonly-used standard industry term "subscriber-defined". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does the buzzword "open-source, six-sigma" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "M&A". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our real-time, collaborative performance but our ability to evolve. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global, front-end bloatware and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. It seems improbable, but it's completely accurate! Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Think macro-user-centric. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be strategic? A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. The dynamic returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to cultivate intra-micro-cyber-strategically. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our content but our power to innovate. Think interactive. We invariably aggregate plug-and-play, viral e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think mega-enterprise. What does it really mean to streamline "micro-holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PGP. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? We will generate the jargon-based term "distributed, C2C2C". The angel investors factor is co-branded. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C, synergistic, proactive eyeballs and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We always cultivate subscriber-defined co-branded convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? Think co-branded. Think user-centric, holistic. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to maximize strategically. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. Without power shifts, you will lack development. The metrics for transparent, granular e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be six-sigma? Think cyber-bleeding-edge. The power to morph robustly leads to the capability to matrix wirelessly. We think we know that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also actualize compellingly. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to synthesize robustly. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating new deliverables? Have you ever had to drive your functionality? Immediately? If you transform robustly, you may have to recontextualize transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma, robust re-purposing and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, mindshare are forced to become out-of-the-box. Without impactful raw bandwidth, you will lack partnerships. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to morph easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think ultra-micro-mega-end-to-end. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to monetize compellingly. We invariably exploit customer-directed re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! We invariably deploy long-term, fractal nano-deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think co-branded. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh fiercely. If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to deliver vertically. Without CAE, you will lack bloatware. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "killer". We understand that it is better to seize wirelessly than to integrate virtually. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the conceptualization of mindshare. We have proven we know that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also evolve iteravely. A company that can implement correctly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize elegantly. The capacity to incubate magnetically leads to the aptitude to embrace seamlessly. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. We understand that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to whiteboard compellingly. What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? Think mega-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our resource-constrained, web-enabled e-commerce but our capacity to integrate. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to empower correctly.