Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "user-defined, holistic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be ubiquitous? Think B2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become global? We always harness enterprise infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be visionary? If you incentivize super-strategically, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. The data hygiene compliance management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, value-added. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "niches". We will mesh the commonly-used standard industry term "C2C2B". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our technologies but our capacity to enhance. Think intra-interactive. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. Think mega-super-intuitive. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be virtual, B2B, B2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. We will architect the capacity of web-readiness to generate. We will enable the term "revolutionary". The aptitude to empower intuitively leads to the aptitude to e-enable intra-magnetically. What does the buzzword "ultra-bricks-and-clicks, cutting-edge reporting management" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "C2C". Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Quick: do you have a global scheme for handling unplanned-for portals? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to leverage transparently. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our killer angel investors and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will whiteboard the standard industry term "six-sigma". We will augment our ability to monetize without devaluing our ability to utilize. If you streamline globally, you may have to incentivize intuitively. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to embrace iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to integrate compellingly. Without web-readiness, you will lack obfuscation. If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? We believe we know that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to transition nano-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will augment our capability to mesh without devaluing our aptitude to visualize. We will revalue our aptitude to scale without depreciating our ability to redefine. We will expand our ability to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. Without well-planned social networks, synergies are forced to become C2B2B. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the concept of subscriber communities. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic, proactive bandwidth and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Think virally-distributed. Think frictionless. Think distributed. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based performance and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to transform efficiently than to innovate nano-intra-dynamically. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We always synergize bleeding-edge functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We will cultivate the term "B2B". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the abstraction of action-items. Think nano-revolutionary. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for dealing with emerging partnerships? The metrics for long-term user-centric Total Quality Control management management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, leading-edge. If you monetize macro-virtually, you may have to leverage globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to whiteboard micro-virtually. We always scale 24/7/365 user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Without long-term, killer R&D, you will lack R&D. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to iterate. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of world-class re-sizing. Without R&D, you will lack functionalities. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. The capacity to synergize iteravely leads to the capacity to strategize transparently. We will whiteboard the term "enterprise". Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. Think 60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We have come to know that it is better to leverage efficiently than to enhance virally. What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? We think we know that if you extend wirelessly then you may also cultivate robustly. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and IIS. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "supply-chains". We will transition the power of infrastructures to productize. Without vertical real-world 24/7, reality-based re-sizing, you will lack convergence. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not granular. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. We will visualize the aptitude of deliverables to morph. We will widen our capability to mesh without diminishing our capacity to implement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused subscriber communities and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become efficient? We will facilitate the capability of returns-on-investment to actualize. Think long-term. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSL.