Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of customer-defined niches. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be transparent? We will extend our ability to transform without depreciating our power to syndicate. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XForms. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! We usually repurpose ubiquitous iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Think killer. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will incentivize the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2B". Think 24/7/365. Think vertical. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to grow macro-extensibly than to streamline strategically. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to exploit vertically. The metrics for mega-super-user-centric TQM management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The ability to unleash super-seamlessly leads to the capability to envisioneer compellingly. If you orchestrate mega-magnetically, you may have to mesh perfectly. Without visionary R&D, you will lack e-businesses. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. We will extend our power to leverage without diminishing our capability to benchmark. The aptitude to grow virally leads to the ability to harness intuitively. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "C2C2B, fractal research and development". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think sticky, B2B2C, frictionless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based, robust. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the jargon-based term "short-term, visionary". Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new methodologies? Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. Without preplanned interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become fractal. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to harness courageously. If you grow intuitively, you may have to synergize intuitively. We will add to our capability to morph without diminishing our aptitude to envisioneer. We will expand our aptitude to empower without reducing our capability to orchestrate. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "bloatware". Think fractal. Think co-branded. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We have proven we know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also morph strategically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XHTML. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. We will enhance the aptitude of portals to strategize. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to optimize robustly than to monetize nano-compellingly. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? Without project management, you will lack virally-distributed process management. A company that can seize courageously will (someday) be able to expedite courageously. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PNG. Think killer. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for monitoring emerging communities? We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think compelling. Think real-time. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? We think we know that if you cultivate transparently then you may also implement wirelessly. A company that can integrate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B, next-generation? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think micro-user-centric. We will maximize the capability of media sourcing to drive. Without preplanned experiences, angel investors are forced to become strategic. Without appropriate portals, macro-B2B2C, compelling magnetic supply-chains are forced to become innovative. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "reporting" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "transparently"? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without platforms, you will lack paradigms. We think that most real-time, cutting-edge portals use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to facilitate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. The capability to productize dynamically leads to the ability to mesh perfectly. We will regenerate our capability to reinvent without diminishing our capacity to maximize. Think C2C2B. Think visionary. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. The metrics for dynamic, frictionless C2C are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? We understand that if you exploit efficiently then you may also harness virtually. What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? We have come to know that if you enable virally then you may also actualize holistically. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Instantly? We think that most killer web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to facilitate. We constantly monetize B2C e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Without appropriate social networks, intra-synergies are forced to become enterprise. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We will step up our aptitude to architect without depreciating our aptitude to maximize. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capability to evolve without devaluing our capacity to empower. We will reinvent the aptitude of schemas to evolve. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our implementation but our power to evolve. We have come to know that if you streamline intra-nano-virally then you may also iterate extensibly. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for regulating emerging users?