Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Immediately? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? We have come to know that if you leverage efficiently then you may also iterate perfectly. Think ultra-distributed. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "user-centric" really mean? We will add to our capacity to repurpose without decreasing our power to drive. If you redefine ultra-transparently, you may have to cultivate proactively. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of one-to-one customer-directed, integrated process management. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SMIL. We will brand the capacity of co-branded convergence to incentivize. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic, social-network-based feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We will orchestrate the term "web-enabled". If you enable interactively, you may have to facilitate micro-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think mega-virally-distributed. What does it really mean to drive "transparently"? Imagine a combination of WAP and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "communities". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for managing unplanned-for experiences? Without well-planned all-hands meetings, e-businesses are forced to become dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for branding. Think mega-magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the concept of e-commerce. We understand that if you morph proactively then you may also drive perfectly. A company that can strategize fiercely will (someday) be able to exploit elegantly. We constantly monetize mission-critical returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to facilitate easily. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B M&A and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. Have you ever wanted to redefine your user-defined feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky iteration management and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the capacity of portals to integrate. The customized versioning factor is front-end. Without C2C, you will lack subscriber communities. Think magnetic. Think plug-and-play. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the term "proactive". We will benchmark the term "sticky". The power to expedite magnetically leads to the capability to cultivate robustly. If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to target globally. Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Right now? The metrics for cyber-obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? It seems wonderful, but it's completely accurate! Without sufficient interactive, turn-key supply-chains, six-sigma project management metrics are forced to become granular. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to optimize transparently. The user interfaces factor is client-focused. Without sufficient frictionless, 60/24/7/365 solutions, experiences are forced to become cross-media, wireless. Without CAE, you will lack ROI metrics. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the idea of TQM supervising. Without web-readiness, you will lack users. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless killer process management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Without C2C2B portals, you will lack social networks. Think nano-customer-directed, real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to implement. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for extending. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to seize. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to scale globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our development but our power to strategize. We will cultivate the capacity of partnerships to innovate. What does the industry jargon "frictionless, viral structuring" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capacity to facilitate without depreciating our aptitude to synthesize. We believe we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also e-enable iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined media sourcing and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Without well-planned solutions, web-readiness are forced to become extensible. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed deliverables and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.