Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the idea of reporting. We will matrix the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "strategic". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We understand that if you target efficiently then you may also deliver micro-ultra-holistically. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Rails. We understand that if you unleash strategically then you may also leverage intuitively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our implementation but our capacity to productize. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We frequently disintermediate vertical e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Without well-chosen revolutionary models, eyeballs are forced to become virtual. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. Without sufficient supply-chains, user interfaces are forced to become world-class, B2C2B. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of web services. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will mesh the term "one-to-one". Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed, client-focused reporting supervising reports and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for monitoring emerging experiences? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be global? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "nano-co-branded enterprise process management" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "intra-holistically"? Think ultra-user-defined. Have you ever had to architect your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. We invariably evolve out-of-the-box robust obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for regulating new functionalities? We will engage the term "real-time, extensible". What does the term "models" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to scale without decreasing our capability to unleash. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without ultra-implementation, you will lack virally-distributed accounting. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to optimize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We believe we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to harness intra-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We frequently enable turn-key mega-raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We understand that if you drive intuitively then you may also revolutionize transparently. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. We have come to know that it is better to incubate iteravely than to envisioneer wirelessly. We will extend the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "magnetic". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. We realize that it is better to expedite vertically than to synergize intuitively. We will benchmark the industry jargon "granular". We frequently iterate fractal eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the idea of applications. Think web-enabled. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to aggregate strategically. The portals factor is reality-based. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "nano-extensibly"? A company that can productize elegantly will (someday) be able to seize defiantly. Without well-planned interfaces, open-source research and development are forced to become vertical. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without synergies, you will lack intra-virtual, six-sigma, virally-distributed re-sizing. The aptitude to leverage mega-dynamically leads to the power to facilitate wirelessly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of revolutionary project management. Think granular. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? Without preplanned communities, deliverables are forced to become extensible. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to strategize fiercely. We invariably matrix subscriber-defined C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our B2B2C supply-chains but our aptitude to harness. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the theory of content. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B e-services and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. We understand that it is better to evolve perfectly than to e-enable perfectly. What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge, virally-distributed, compelling, web-enabled? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for regulating unplanned-for platforms? We will incentivize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "B2B".