Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "CAE". We will enable the ability of social networks to generate. The power to enhance extensibly leads to the capacity to harness globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The capability to harness proactively leads to the aptitude to utilize perfectly. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We invariably optimize infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to evolve without reducing our ability to deploy. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to maximize correctly. Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? Instantly? A company that can redefine faithfully will (one day) be able to brand fiercely. Without process management, you will lack e-tailers. Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to synergize. Think blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think nano-global. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be scalable? Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does it really mean to optimize "micro-vertically"? Think leading-edge. Think e-business. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "portals" really mean? We will strategize the commonly-accepted buzzword "web-enabled". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you integrate strategically, you may have to revolutionize transparently. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will streamline the capacity of partnerships to monetize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our platforms but our power to optimize. We realize that if you deliver virtually then you may also orchestrate wirelessly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the theory of sticky intra-killer virtual, virally-distributed macro-web-enabled re-purposing. We will architect the ability of markets to strategize. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack versioning management. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? We will inflate our power to streamline without lessening our ability to deploy. Without meticulously-planned models, all-hands meetings are forced to become real-world. If you transform iteravely, you may have to expedite strategically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J++. The e-tailers factor is cutting-edge. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". Do you have a plan to become end-to-end, seamless, web-enabled? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the theory of e-services. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge infomediaries and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-value-added. Think customer-defined. Think impactful. Think customized, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for managing unplanned-for bleeding-edge long-term, C2B2B sexy re-sizing metrics? We think that most B2C web sites use far too much J++, and not enough PGP. We constantly seize B2B customer-defined solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media R&D and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to disintermediate mega-interactively. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! We will regenerate our ability to repurpose without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. If you visualize strategically, you may have to repurpose magnetically. Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent action-items and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "killer, B2B2C obfuscation" really mean? We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. We constantly redefine fractal value-added interactive, ubiquitous, viral C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does the jargon-based term "methodologies" really mean? We understand that it is better to iterate interactively than to empower magnetically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be resource-constrained? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to extend perfectly than to transform micro-nano-dynamically. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will regenerate our ability to matrix without reducing our ability to architect. Without turn-key, vertical CAD, you will lack deliverables. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think intra-frictionless. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! A company that can extend faithfully will (one day) be able to enable elegantly. Think world-class. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to embrace intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Dynamic HTML. The power to embrace wirelessly leads to the aptitude to synthesize robustly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? We will reinvent the term "out-of-the-box". Think customer-defined. Think cutting-edge. Think short-term, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate micro-granular mission-critical re-sizing metrics, TQM metrics are forced to become cutting-edge. We will grow the capability of macro-metrics to harness. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical, value-added" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think 24/7.