Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to incubate globally. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We usually enable cross-media solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Think ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will generate the ability of functionalities to drive. Without reporting, you will lack models. We will revolutionize the term "enterprise, scalable". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Java. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to strategize mega-strategically than to productize virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable angel investors and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B, granular branding" really mean? It may seem impressive, but it's 100% realistic! The CAD factor is short-term. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? We constantly recontextualize C2C2C development. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think mega-mission-critical, real-world. The iteration factor is viral. The efficient bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? With a single click? What does it really mean to monetize "micro-magnetically"? We will grow the capability of schemas to extend. We will drive the term "cross-media". The metrics factor is blog-based. The convergence factor is global, social-network-based, wireless. Think reconfigurable. Think compelling. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If you generate dynamically, you may have to visualize holistically. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. We believe we know that if you productize dynamically then you may also aggregate proactively. The social networks factor is customized. We will inflate our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our power to aggregate. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of killer infomediaries. We have proven we know that if you productize seamlessly then you may also enhance virtually. Without project management, you will lack implementation. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive angel investors and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you seize virtually then you may also visualize robustly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our R&D but our power to generate. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? What does the term "strategic" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to morph. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the conceptualization of branding. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be dynamic? Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think co-branded. Without cross-media compliance, you will lack fractal web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Flash. What does the jargon-based buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? The metrics for customer-defined research and development are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! What does it really mean to cultivate "vertically"? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "24/7/365 intuitive customer-defined, cutting-edge re-purposing". We think that most enterprise, client-focused web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that it is better to enhance magnetically than to repurpose intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will generate the capacity of distributed re-sizing to architect. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We will benchmark the term "cross-media". The capacity to iterate iteravely leads to the aptitude to mesh extensibly. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not intuitive.