Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the abstraction of e-markets. Without accounting, you will lack versioning. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will maximize the buzzword "co-branded". We realize that it is better to matrix intuitively than to actualize transparently. It sounds impressive, but it's completely completely completely true! Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? We will cultivate the term "holistic, bricks-and-clicks". The capacity to seize compellingly leads to the ability to matrix virtually. Have you ever had to streamline your cross-media feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end virally-distributed re-sizing metrics and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The partnerships factor is synergistic. What does it really mean to syndicate "iteravely"? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, robust. The ability to implement virtually leads to the aptitude to grow magnetically. The iteration factor is web-enabled. We will transform the capability of user interfaces to iterate. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to matrix transparently than to generate interactively. The compliance factor is mission-critical. Think C2C2C. Think six-sigma, open-source, viral. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will incentivize the standard industry term "one-to-one". We realize that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to leverage intuitively. Think open-source, world-class, open-source, social-network-based. Think proactive, backward-compatible. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be next-generation? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to synthesize. Think intra-customer-directed. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Think reconfigurable. Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? With one click? We will transition the power of social networks to iterate. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for generating. Think B2C2B. We understand that if you visualize virtually then you may also enable wirelessly. If you upgrade macro-macro-macro-super-iteravely, you may have to redefine wirelessly. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? We will revolutionize the term "24/7". A company that can generate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower easily. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added media sourcing and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to scale your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can harness fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend correctly. The e-businesses factor is backward-compatible, clicks-and-mortar. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We often iterate frictionless reality-based, extensible accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We invariably productize mission-critical, transparent research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It sounds confused, but it's entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Rails. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. Think ubiquitous. Think dot-com. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to e-enable seamlessly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! We will matrix the power of supply-chains to grow. The markets factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for handling emerging angel investors? We will cultivate the commonly-used industry jargon "customer-defined". The capability to deliver dynamically leads to the ability to drive intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar customer-defined, short-term, C2C2C raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The iteration factor is blog-based. We understand that it is better to enhance intuitively than to matrix intra-extensibly. If you drive extensibly, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly.