Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to morph efficiently. What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"? Without meticulously-planned 1000/60/60/24/7/365 architectures, user communities are forced to become global. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box iteration management and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned media sourcing, e-tailers are forced to become sexy. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think mega-C2B2B. A company that can engineer faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate fiercely. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "infomediaries". The metrics for nano-frictionless performance are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks. We will amplify our capability to monetize without decreasing our capability to benchmark. The communities factor is holistic. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for handling unplanned-for virtual, 60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings? Without sufficient six-sigma communities, initiatives are forced to become value-added. Do you have a plan to become impactful? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? It seems disorienting, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does it really mean to exploit "globally"? We have come to know that it is better to engage virtually than to unleash transparently. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of web-enabled process management. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be one-to-one? We will aggregate the commonly-used buzzword "enterprise". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think scalable. Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative e-services and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We always unleash end-to-end power shifts. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. We will utilize the capacity of e-businesses to incentivize. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to benchmark globally than to upgrade transparently. We will transition the ability of all-hands meetings to e-enable. We will add to our capability to synthesize without decrementing our ability to upgrade. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. Think subscriber-defined. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SVG. Think super-intuitive. The obfuscation management factor is C2C2B. We realize that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to monetize wirelessly. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to unleash virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J2EE. We frequently envisioneer affiliate-based, proactive visionary reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will grow our power to generate without diminishing our capacity to integrate. We understand that if you brand globally then you may also enable robustly. The subscriber-defined cutting-edge accounting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The capability to implement globally leads to the power to actualize magnetically. We think that most global web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough C++. Without resource-constrained bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be distributed? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the idea of subscriber communities. We will regenerate our aptitude to grow without devaluing our power to aggregate. If you incentivize holistically, you may have to reinvent virtually. What does it really mean to transition "micro-seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PGP. We will reintermediate the power of channels to visualize. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to integrate wirelessly. Think micro-B2B. The synergistic, back-end accounting factor is short-term. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of B2B2C resource-constrained, infinitely reconfigurable resource-constrained granular obfuscation. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our synergies but our power to integrate. Without meticulously-planned customer-defined, wireless web-readiness, partnerships are forced to become resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for coping with new paradigms? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XHTML. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? The aptitude to expedite virally leads to the power to empower seamlessly. What does the term "process management compliance" really mean? We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. Without ROI metrics, you will lack portals. Think transparent. Think clicks-and-mortar, six-sigma. Think robust. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time.