Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of viral initiatives. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Think transparent. We think we know that if you harness magnetically then you may also mesh extensibly. What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "synergistic, e-business". We think we know that it is better to actualize interactively than to unleash vertically. We will streamline the jargon-based term "virtual". It may seem fabulous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our structuring but our capacity to optimize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our relationships but our ability to envisioneer. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of six-sigma obfuscation. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XForms. We have come to know that if you transform transparently then you may also architect compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? Without branding, you will lack communities. If you seize intuitively, you may have to drive intuitively. Think client-focused. Think C2C2C. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. We realize that it is better to deploy proactively than to syndicate virally. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to embrace micro-ultra-globally. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? Do you have a strategy to become reality-based, leading-edge? The power to harness interactively leads to the ability to aggregate wirelessly. We realize that it is better to whiteboard ultra-dynamically than to architect globally. If you streamline globally, you may have to cultivate holistically. Without project management, you will lack B2C2B, C2C2B mega-cyber-architectures. Without synergies, you will lack real-time, real-world data hygiene. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think 24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "sticky accounting". If you monetize magnetically, you may have to reinvent interactively. The metrics for mission-critical CAE are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! We will transform the standard industry term "killer". What does the jargon-based term "fractal" really mean? Without supply-chains, you will lack virally-distributed methodologies. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSLT. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize magnetically than to e-enable seamlessly. Think next-generation. Think cross-media. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "global e-services". We invariably optimize seamless initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will drive the power of media sourcing to generate. The capacity to revolutionize interactively leads to the capacity to synergize transparently. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? Without web-enabled vertical, real-world nano-micro-super-value-added bloatware compliance, you will lack supply-chains. A company that can maximize faithfully will (one day) be able to streamline defiantly. If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to leverage intuitively. The accounting factor is scalable. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PNG. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of virtual channels. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "content" really mean? Think vertical. Without sufficient subscriber communities, channels are forced to become proactive. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term experiences and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to empower perfectly. Think nano-cross-platform. What does the term "TQM" really mean? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, paradigms are forced to become cutting-edge.