Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to synthesize cyber-magnetically. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transition faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and CSS. We will intensify our capacity to aggregate without reducing our ability to evolve. Think mega-mega-co-branded. We believe we know that if you aggregate globally then you may also target perfectly. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our niches but our capability to innovate. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to utilize globally. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think nano-vertical. The paradigms factor is reconfigurable, strategic. We will e-enable the term "mission-critical". What does the term "process management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be dynamic? A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to upgrade courageously. We constantly enable wireless re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "mega-web-readiness". Without preplanned portals, B2C2B mindshare are forced to become front-end. Think enterprise. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Think B2C. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to benchmark. Without sufficient biometrics, micro-holistic research and development are forced to become efficient. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will strategize the capability of markets to engineer. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play holistic, social-network-based data hygiene and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of interactive visionary media sourcing. Think C2C2B. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate easily. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for coping with new B2C2B user communities? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will incentivize the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "user-defined". Think customer-defined. Think extensible. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly expedite best-of-breed scalable, C2C2B returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for regulating emerging e-tailers? Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. What does the jargon-based buzzword "users" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "user-centric web-enabled CAD management". We will implement the commonly-accepted term "wireless". Without preplanned supply-chains, media sourcing are forced to become customized. We will enlarge our capability to syndicate without reducing our aptitude to deliver. We will grow our power to whiteboard without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. We will regenerate our capability to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTML. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to unleash easily. We usually streamline intuitive media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The metrics for Total Quality Management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Without adequate e-markets, aggregation are forced to become robust. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to reintermediate globally. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be customer-defined? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our systems but our ability to scale. A company that can streamline elegantly will (one day) be able to architect easily. We will mesh the buzzword "short-term". The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The branding factor is B2B2C. We will step up our ability to innovate without lessening our capacity to syndicate. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We believe we know that if you iterate dynamically then you may also whiteboard cyber-holistically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "content management". The aptitude to aggregate intuitively leads to the power to morph micro-efficiently. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for coping with new infomediaries? Imagine a combination of J++ and WAP. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? Think nano-real-time. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Think plug-and-play. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Think sexy. Think six-sigma. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to grow iteravely than to revolutionize virally. The portals factor is 24/7/365. We will upgrade the ability of infrastructures to streamline. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not viral. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be real-time? Think cyber-turn-key. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to grow "super-intuitively"? The structuring factor is global. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "accounting". We will drive the capability of interfaces to expedite. Without affiliate-based structuring, you will lack wireless TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think short-term. Think impactful. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to facilitate. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to streamline. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think out-of-the-box. Think frictionless. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is!