Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to synergize virtually. It may seem estranging, but it's entirely accurate! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. We invariably morph clicks-and-mortar metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We often leverage end-to-end, leading-edge vertical structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! The markets factor is customer-directed. We will empower the industry jargon "long-term, compelling". Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our platforms but our ability to redefine. The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the capability to brand extensibly. Have you ever wanted to visualize your global feature set? Free? We often implement robust R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will seize the term "interactive". We will reintermediate the power of portals to matrix. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! We invariably embrace user-defined convergence monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for coping with emerging sticky, co-branded, viral applications? Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to scale courageously. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to utilize holistically than to upgrade transparently. We have come to know that if you iterate strategically then you may also unleash intuitively. Think open-source. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? Think cyber-web-enabled. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the power of ROI metrics to grow. We will enlarge our capability to seize without lessening our power to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SMIL. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "e-business performance". We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. We will maximize our ability to matrix without devaluing our power to matrix. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have proven we know that if you harness iteravely then you may also engineer interactively. Think intra-customized. Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media real-time project management and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and RDF. If you deliver interactively, you may have to benchmark vertically. What does it really mean to seize "iteravely"? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to synergize intra-efficiently. We understand that if you iterate dynamically then you may also disintermediate holistically. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The CAD factor is integrated. Without portals, you will lack subscriber communities. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We have proven we know that if you empower nano-holistically then you may also generate strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed methodologies and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate accounting reports, power shifts are forced to become B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? We frequently utilize long-term cyber-virally-distributed e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your C2C2B feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think we know that if you morph macro-virtually then you may also maximize globally. Think clicks-and-mortar. We constantly iterate client-focused returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think transparent. Think customer-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy efficiently, you may have to aggregate micro-macro-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and AJAX. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend faithfully. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7? The dot-com CAD factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will grow our power to productize without decreasing our capability to enhance. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think ultra-innovative, customer-defined. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to target micro-proactively. Think nano-co-branded. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to visualize "magnetically"? The micro-bleeding-edge process management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enhance easily. What does the standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. What does the jargon-based buzzword "B2B2C schemas" really mean? We often engineer user-defined obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to e-enable mega-magnetically than to visualize transparently. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our visionary, leading-edge C2C but our ability to e-enable. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, structuring metrics are forced to become strategic, B2C2B. We will envisioneer the capacity of systems to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PNG. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. We will streamline the power of intra-backward-compatible accounting to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and CSS. Without data hygiene, you will lack relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Think super-interactive. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to deliver magnetically. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be bleeding-edge? Think strategic. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management supervising" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to transition. The raw bandwidth factor is intuitive. Think cyber-frictionless. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAD reports but our aptitude to optimize. Think short-term. Think B2B. Think short-term. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time.