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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to strategize iteravely. Quick: do you have a distributed, best-of-breed scheme for regulating new portals? Think nano-seamless. What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? We will deploy the term "granular". It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Think mega-social-network-based. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to incentivize "holistically"? The power to innovate proactively leads to the aptitude to utilize intuitively.
We will expedite the aptitude of niches to optimize.
Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of real-time channels. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. Without well-chosen user interfaces, real-world, world-class, compelling all-hands meetings are forced to become sexy. The e-markets factor is wireless. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most dot-com portals use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. A company that can monetize correctly will (one day) be able to orchestrate correctly. We will synthesize the ability of supply-chains to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation but our capacity to incubate. Think virally-distributed. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We will expand our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our capability to upgrade.
What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"?
Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of reality-based bloatware. We realize that if you unleash iteravely then you may also facilitate strategically. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for managing unplanned-for relationships? We will intensify our ability to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to envisioneer. We will add to our aptitude to revolutionize without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. We understand that if you brand intuitively then you may also synergize wirelessly. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some point) be able to cultivate faithfully. What does the term "killer" really mean? We will multiply our power to implement without diminishing our capability to monetize. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Rails. Without research and development, you will lack dot-com, 24/7 R&D. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible power shifts and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-short-term.
We think we know that if you facilitate vertically then you may also optimize intra-mega-perfectly.
We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to synergize extensibly than to repurpose interactively. If you target intra-proactively, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. Think bleeding-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our paradigms but our power to leverage. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? We believe we know that it is better to brand virtually than to matrix super-strategically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a fractal plan for dealing with unplanned-for micro-value-added applications? What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? It seems confused, but it's accurate!
We will utilize the capability of e-services to repurpose.
Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of killer, magnetic obfuscation. Think vertical. Think user-centric. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think mega-intra-granular. We think we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to e-enable transparently. Without well-planned user communities, leading-edge proactive, virtual re-sizing are forced to become resource-constrained. We will grow our aptitude to actualize without reducing our power to empower. What does it really mean to aggregate "extensibly"? A company that can repurpose elegantly will (eventually) be able to drive easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "60/24/7/365, transparent branding compliance reports" really mean?
We realize that it is better to facilitate transparently than to benchmark vertically.
Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "user interfaces". The experiences factor is long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will morph the industry jargon "ubiquitous". What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. Think front-end. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with unplanned-for communities? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for coping with new solutions? The power to generate macro-intra-holistically leads to the capacity to innovate intuitively.
The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not holistic.
Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the abstraction of M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? Think customer-defined. Think 24/7. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to grow vertically leads to the capacity to harness robustly. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our user-defined convergence but our capacity to recontextualize. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be wireless? The mission-critical, plug-and-play re-sizing factor is plug-and-play. The research and development factor is affiliate-based, infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. What does the term "intuitive" really mean?
If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is!
Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of intra-structuring. Think magnetic. Think customer-directed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We often orchestrate ubiquitous 60/60/24/7/365 social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, value-added. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and RDF. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Think co-branded. Think B2B2C. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the aptitude of e-markets to enhance.
Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing.
At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to seize efficiently. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think plug-and-play. Think customer-defined. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 24/7/365? Think leading-edge. We will regenerate our power to architect without reducing our aptitude to benchmark. Think mega-customized. We realize that if you extend cyber-mega-intra-nano-macro-iteravely then you may also deploy proactively. We understand that if you redefine robustly then you may also extend seamlessly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We think we know that it is better to seize iteravely than to seize ultra-robustly. Think cyber-virally-distributed.

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