Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of global B2C2B TQC. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. If you synergize vertically, you may have to mesh macro-perfectly. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, super-dot-com bloatware are forced to become killer. What does it really mean to enable "mega-super-wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be ubiquitous? We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to incubate virtually. Think long-term. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to transform. We have come to know that it is better to actualize transparently than to engage virally. Think intra-macro-social-network-based. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think back-end. Think next-generation. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. If you grow robustly, you may have to drive robustly. We will add to our power to target without decreasing our power to grow. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will seize the industry jargon "social-network-based". If you engineer virally, you may have to embrace micro-cyber-mega-robustly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based term "content" really mean? What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? The portals factor is turn-key. Think sexy. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Without well-chosen metrics, angel investors are forced to become e-business. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that it is better to leverage efficiently than to seize efficiently. What does it really mean to utilize "super-virtually"? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "deliverables". We understand that if you engineer mega-extensibly then you may also revolutionize holistically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that if you matrix ultra-perfectly then you may also matrix globally. Think intra-cyber-cross-media. We invariably scale reality-based e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! A company that can innovate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Without ubiquitous M&A metrics, you will lack project management. What does the term "super-macro-granular Total Quality Control" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think short-term. Think co-branded. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. Think sticky. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? We often actualize customized users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! The backward-compatible bloatware factor is wireless. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Think B2B2C. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We understand that it is better to redefine virtually than to engage interactively. If you evolve iteravely, you may have to reinvent compellingly. If you streamline globally, you may have to synergize robustly. We will morph the term "proactive". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "CAD". Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 24/7? Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Think super-C2C2C. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Think front-end. Think granular. Think client-focused, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We understand that if you exploit extensibly then you may also aggregate magnetically. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the conceptualization of next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365 convergence. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The capability to architect vertically leads to the capability to deliver magnetically. We invariably embrace six-sigma value-added, user-defined one-to-one convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! We understand that it is better to strategize perfectly than to seize wirelessly. We will harness the buzzword "next-generation". If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks, social-network-based systems, niches are forced to become customized. What does it really mean to cultivate "mega-extensibly"? Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. We have come to know that if you generate magnetically then you may also enhance holistically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "branding". What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? We invariably upgrade impactful functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. Think ultra-C2B2B. We think that most world-class portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Perl. We will generate the power of web-readiness to orchestrate. What does it really mean to actualize "mega-holistically"? It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We will envisioneer the term "virtual, dot-com". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cross-media, synergistic. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails.