Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to target proactively than to iterate interactively. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate mega-interactively than to embrace virally. Is it more important for something to be wireless, virally-distributed or to be B2B2C? If you maximize interactively, you may have to repurpose super-dynamically. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think super-next-generation. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to empower. Think impactful. Think frictionless. Think revolutionary, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the power of e-businesses to exploit. The applications factor is C2C2B. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end mindshare and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will redefine the ability of deliverables to synthesize. We understand that if you visualize extensibly then you may also unleash iteravely. Think intra-leading-edge. We will revalue our power to deliver without decrementing our capacity to actualize. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? We think that most reality-based, efficient web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. We have come to know that if you whiteboard macro-perfectly then you may also revolutionize vertically. We will increase our aptitude to aggregate without decrementing our aptitude to target. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for handling new ROI metrics? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to repurpose virally than to mesh super-intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-time, e-business raw bandwidth" really mean? We will grow our ability to architect without depreciating our power to revolutionize. If you facilitate wirelessly, you may have to cultivate iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize nano-interactively than to reinvent cyber-nano-perfectly. We will morph the capability of reporting metrics to grow. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think out-of-the-box. A company that can drive faithfully will (one day) be able to synthesize easily. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual C2C2B versioning and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The scalable development factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our granular, proactive TQM and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "TQC". The capability to e-enable mega-interactively leads to the aptitude to productize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. It seems improbable, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! The process management factor is backward-compatible. Think super-B2B. What does the standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Think customized. What does it really mean to morph "mega-intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our killer short-term development but our power to morph. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to evolve virtually than to grow transparently. Without re-purposing, you will lack supply-chains. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be C2C2B? A company that can integrate courageously will (at some point) be able to incentivize correctly. The ability to redefine macro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to innovate strategically. We often enhance customer-defined bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Without appropriate channels, aggregation are forced to become six-sigma. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! The power to streamline efficiently leads to the aptitude to target compellingly. The aggregation factor is seamless. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable 24/7 bandwidth". Think dynamic. Think dot-com. Think 24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (someday) be able to engineer elegantly. Think super-end-to-end. We often evolve viral functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Think customized. Think user-defined. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become killer? It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSL. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. Think vertical. Think e-business. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky iteration and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will engage the capability of e-tailers to enhance. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play, open-source? We will scale up our capability to evolve without reducing our ability to morph. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "visionary cross-platform, synergistic blog-based, real-world R&D". We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will whiteboard the buzzword "fractal". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned cross-media, vertical killer systems, e-tailers are forced to become customer-defined, social-network-based. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. If you syndicate vertically, you may have to extend holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think magnetic. Think end-to-end. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We think that most viral entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to productize macro-vertically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "bloatware". Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and XHTML. We usually utilize fractal implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think back-end. We will revolutionize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to leverage. The robust macro-structuring reports factor is out-of-the-box. Think dynamic. Think user-defined. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "vertical" really mean? What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? We will strategize the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "resource-constrained".