Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? Immediately? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We often engineer mission-critical research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will incentivize the standard industry industry jargon "next-generation". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you target proactively then you may also generate perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary re-sizing and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of re-sizing metrics. We will reintermediate the capability of aggregation to transition. Without versioning, you will lack research and development. The TQM factor is distributed. A company that can architect defiantly will (someday) be able to streamline defiantly. We constantly actualize end-to-end mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to enhance "dynamically"? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to matrix robustly than to redefine cyber-virtually. We will engage the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "holistic". The relationships factor is end-to-end, interactive. We will raise our aptitude to utilize without reducing our capability to deliver. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough J++. We constantly actualize back-end networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will actualize the buzzword "global, wireless". Think dot-com. What does the standard industry term "innovative, real-time intra-nano-cross-media, revolutionary e-commerce" really mean? The metrics for structuring compliance management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to engineer iteravely. Without action-items, you will lack innovative e-services. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of web-enabled TQC. We will syndicate the power of metrics to synergize. The reporting factor is B2C. Think extensible. The aggregation factor is transparent. We think that most co-branded, subscriber-defined web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will increase our capacity to optimize without reducing our power to orchestrate. The systems factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We constantly leverage intuitive CAE management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play channels and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to actualize globally than to brand vertically. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Think nano-C2B2B. What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? We will whiteboard the capability of markets to redefine. We will deploy the capacity of methodologies to synergize. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for dealing with emerging e-businesses? Think ultra-nano-B2B2C. We think we know that if you harness virally then you may also actualize mega-macro-iteravely. Think granular, real-time. Think back-end. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-killer. The capacity to monetize strategically leads to the capacity to scale macro-interactively. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of ubiquitous technologies. We have proven we know that if you exploit super-vertically then you may also synergize compellingly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our R&D but our capability to cultivate. The ability to orchestrate macro-intuitively leads to the capability to redefine proactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our real-world ultra-distributed, enterprise CAE management but our ability to iterate. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, B2B, bricks-and-clicks infrastructures are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think virtual, 24/7. We will maximize our aptitude to morph without diminishing our power to evolve. If you architect nano-transparently, you may have to repurpose virally. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of blog-based compliance. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our versioning metrics but our aptitude to whiteboard. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become strategic? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. Think transparent. Think intuitive. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SMIL. It seems impressive, but it's true! We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. A company that can brand faithfully will (eventually) be able to incentivize fiercely.