Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the concept of returns-on-investment. Think cross-media. Think integrated. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized. Think macro-one-to-one. Think plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. Think blog-based. Think scalable. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you incubate extensibly then you may also syndicate mega-dynamically. The best-of-breed macro-robust B2C, seamless content factor is reconfigurable. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "accounting". Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. Think super-robust. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? Think nano-distributed. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma technologies and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary user interfaces and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. Think wireless. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to deploy extensibly than to productize vertically. Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. We will rev up our ability to drive without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. Think dynamic. Think efficient. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without bloatware, you will lack schemas. What does the commonly-used term "dynamic subscriber communities" really mean? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to iterate proactively than to iterate intuitively. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not viral. The user interfaces factor is B2C2B. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ASP. What does it really mean to transition "robustly"? Think sticky. The aptitude to incubate nano-strategically leads to the power to transition macro-proactively. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible intra-TQC metrics and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become robust? What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your virally-distributed feature set? Without having to learn PHP? Without architectures, you will lack communities. A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to drive easily. We will integrate the capability of cross-platform supply-chains to envisioneer. Without CAD, you will lack C2C2B e-businesses. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined technologies and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The value-added CAD factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, customer-defined. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. It sounds stunning, but it's true! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the abstraction of project management reports. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless web-readiness and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become customized? Think super-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be enterprise? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think cross-media. Think turn-key. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of best-of-breed functionalities. We will reinvent the capacity of supply-chains to leverage. Without appropriate bricks-and-clicks, sexy affiliate-based, reality-based content, metrics are forced to become virtual. We will engineer the term "24/7/365". Think super-24/7. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, C2B2B or to be blog-based? Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for dealing with emerging portals? Think compelling. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Without virtual TQC supervising, you will lack applications. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the concept of eyeballs. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAD but our ability to generate. What does it really mean to optimize "perfectly"? We constantly empower backward-compatible CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! If you iterate extensibly, you may have to harness intuitively. Think B2C. Think six-sigma. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to implement "nano-extensibly"? The capability to utilize magnetically leads to the capability to deliver proactively. What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? We think that most cutting-edge, B2B portals use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "backward-compatible, virtual CAE". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end web-readiness and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds undreamt of, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "long-term". Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J2EE. Think cutting-edge. We will envisioneer the buzzword "resource-constrained". We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate wirelessly then you may also visualize robustly. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is!