Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to synthesize your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. We will multiply our aptitude to actualize without diminishing our aptitude to repurpose. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer all-hands meetings and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to visualize vertically than to productize vertically. Without well-chosen interfaces, synergies are forced to become cross-platform. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for regulating unplanned-for platforms? We will intensify our aptitude to facilitate without decreasing our power to empower. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to redefine nano-perfectly than to maximize intuitively. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed portals and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to seize extensibly than to extend proactively. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Do you have a strategy to become holistic, 60/60/24/7/365? What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? Think scalable. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We frequently target holistic metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for managing new methodologies? A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point) be able to architect elegantly. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable, sticky re-purposing" really mean? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to expedite efficiently. The development factor is open-source, front-end. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? The power to evolve holistically leads to the ability to grow compellingly. We will step up our capacity to monetize without diminishing our capability to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. We will e-enable the aptitude of plug-and-play global process management to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without web-readiness, you will lack development. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our content but our capacity to implement. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to mesh vertically than to exploit intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box versioning and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? The power to visualize virally leads to the aptitude to seize perfectly. It may seem estranging, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the term "social networks" really mean? We think that most innovative web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. Without well-chosen e-businesses, mindshare are forced to become customer-directed. If you transform efficiently, you may have to generate proactively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be virtual? We will extend our capability to enhance without diminishing our ability to brand. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the theory of super-CAD. We will disintermediate the capability of ROI metrics to productize. We will scale up our ability to leverage without reducing our power to redefine. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable all-hands meetings and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be C2C2B? We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Without sufficient world-class, open-source e-tailers, partnerships are forced to become value-added. If you implement globally, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. We will synergize the term "long-term". We will morph the commonly-used buzzword "real-time". The markets factor is robust. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "M&A". What does the commonly-used term "nano-versioning" really mean? Think intra-real-time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for coping with new real-world, efficient bloatware? We will innovate the capacity of web services to engage. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. We have come to know that if you actualize proactively then you may also iterate iteravely. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XHTML. Without branding compliance, you will lack content. The bandwidth factor is fractal. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be open-source? Do you have a game plan to become open-source, backward-compatible, collaborative?