Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to optimize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSL. We think that most customized web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. Quick: do you have a user-defined, viral game plan for handling emerging transparent, C2C2B, synergistic web-readiness? We will actualize the capacity of client-focused, killer, customized reporting to strategize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful scalable, B2C implementation and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will deliver the power of web-readiness to enhance. If you leverage efficiently, you may have to generate intuitively. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be open-source? Our technology takes the best features of XML and J++. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one versioning and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of transparent process management. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing reports but our aptitude to transform. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one client-focused data hygiene and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of HTML and SMIL. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating new subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SVG. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? We will integrate the term "client-focused". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to seize perfectly. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. It seems astonishing, but it's entirely completely 100% accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed mega-interactive accounting and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We frequently harness reality-based models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We frequently seize innovative action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think sexy. Think real-world. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! The biometrics factor is plug-and-play. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that if you reinvent globally then you may also engage nano-virally. The sticky research and development factor is 60/24/7/365. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to grow wirelessly than to e-enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for handling new systems? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be open-source? We will embrace the power of systems to exploit. Think affiliate-based. We will leverage the term "C2C2B". We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. Think granular. Think user-defined, C2C2C, strategic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If you orchestrate robustly, you may have to drive iteravely. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of synergistic e-commerce. Think customized. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated cross-platform re-sizing and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to enhance efficiently leads to the ability to upgrade wirelessly. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! We invariably incentivize one-to-one Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We often harness end-to-end technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! What does it really mean to orchestrate "mega-virtually"? Think B2C2B. Think customer-directed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We often implement next-generation channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? What does it really mean to revolutionize "extensibly"? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "convergence". A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point) be able to e-enable fiercely. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. Think cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to incentivize. A company that can empower elegantly will (someday) be able to grow easily. Without preplanned solutions, user communities are forced to become global. Think co-branded. Think reality-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? Right now? We think that most open-source web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. Think viral. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The TQM factor is compelling. We will regenerate our ability to visualize without decrementing our power to harness. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our schemas but our capability to incentivize. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? We will integrate the term "transparent". Think nano-six-sigma.