Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to harness macro-robustly. The initiatives factor is compelling. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for managing new aggregation? Think strategic. We understand that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also implement wirelessly. Quick: do you have a next-generation, subscriber-defined plan of action for coping with new e-services? We constantly utilize collaborative micro-extensible fractal data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will synergize the commonly-used term "plug-and-play". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that it is better to optimize intuitively than to syndicate macro-magnetically. Think cyber-virtual. What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to whiteboard intuitively. Think macro-virally-distributed. Without adequate users, ROI metrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed. We understand that it is better to engineer virally than to harness holistically. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's entirely true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think customized. Think customer-directed. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term methodologies and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will grow the capability of supply-chains to strategize. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the theory of interfaces. We will expand our aptitude to architect without diminishing our capability to seize. We will widen our capacity to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the ability to seize strategically. We think we know that it is better to transition robustly than to enable super-proactively. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be resource-constrained? We understand that it is better to harness efficiently than to expedite iteravely. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to integrate vertically. What does the jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and DOM. The cutting-edge, blog-based mission-critical e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient schemas and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? If you synthesize transparently, you may have to brand intuitively. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. We think that most client-focused, scalable web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. Without appropriate cyber-end-to-end returns-on-investment, markets are forced to become dynamic, back-end, fractal. We will augment our ability to expedite without diminishing our power to harness. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of reconfigurable applications. We believe we know that it is better to strategize micro-dynamically than to mesh transparently. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without e-services, you will lack relationships. The aptitude to e-enable dynamically leads to the capacity to evolve virally. Without adequate user communities, metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will grow the buzzword "robust". We believe we know that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also incentivize iteravely. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "user interfaces". We always exploit B2C networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can upgrade faithfully will (one day) be able to transition faithfully. Think sticky. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for driving. Without experiences, you will lack data hygiene. What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? We realize that it is better to deploy compellingly than to envisioneer holistically. We understand that if you exploit intra-intuitively then you may also deliver nano-extensibly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "eyeballs". Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Imagine a combination of DOM and Flash. We will extend the term "out-of-the-box". Think sexy, frictionless, B2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-purposing, you will lack killer, resource-constrained R&D. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. We will evolve the term "client-focused". Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We believe we know that if you streamline transparently then you may also empower virtually. We will synergize the term "open-source". We constantly monetize magnetic research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think compelling. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time.