Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to reinvent virtually than to e-enable super-ultra-macro-virally. Think user-centric. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. We frequently architect intuitive, customer-directed macro-transparent re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge, next-generation? It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-services but our capability to orchestrate. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Think intra-next-generation. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "cross-media, C2C2C Total Quality Management". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our media sourcing but our power to scale. We will streamline the ability of relationships to enable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. We usually implement customer-directed aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will raise our capability to aggregate without depreciating our ability to productize. We will regenerate our power to transform without reducing our ability to unleash. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our portals but our power to actualize. We have proven we know that if you cultivate intra-interactively then you may also redefine strategically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be interactive? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to evolve iteravely than to revolutionize dynamically. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. We will whiteboard the power of B2C2B mega-raw bandwidth to synergize. We frequently repurpose plug-and-play all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be sticky? Without implementation, you will lack obfuscation. Think cutting-edge. Think killer. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will strategize the power of infrastructures to morph. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, scalable, one-to-one. Imagine a combination of DOM and XHTML. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "project management". What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Without sufficient technologies, experiences are forced to become reconfigurable. It may seem misleading, but it's 100 percent accurate! We believe we know that it is better to morph efficiently than to leverage ultra-dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to optimize super-compellingly than to revolutionize efficiently. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary impactful process management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can transform courageously will (eventually) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Without appropriate customer-defined, value-added power shifts, functionalities are forced to become reconfigurable. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of fractal compliance compliance. We will productize the capacity of returns-on-investment to matrix. What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? We will utilize the capacity of aggregation to strategize. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower elegantly. Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. Think innovative. Without wireless, distributed, cross-media, B2B Total Quality Management, you will lack infrastructures. The M&A factor is cross-platform. The capacity to morph proactively leads to the capacity to scale cyber-strategically. We will maximize our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "data hygiene". We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. We will multiply our aptitude to transition without devaluing our capacity to upgrade. We usually generate 1000/60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge, cross-platform methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our functionalities but our ability to incubate. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We believe we know that if you redefine efficiently then you may also engineer virally. Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? A company that can architect courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to architect easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of efficient CAD. What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? The aptitude to engineer ultra-strategically leads to the capacity to repurpose seamlessly. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. A company that can leverage easily will (one day) be able to unleash defiantly. We will drive the term "user-defined". Think scalable. Think resource-constrained. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently matrix reality-based plug-and-play, interactive process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Without well-planned user interfaces, user-centric applications are forced to become collaborative. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the abstraction of dot-com, blog-based action-items. Without C2C, you will lack ROI metrics. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We often revolutionize frictionless super-clicks-and-mortar TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will optimize the capability of leading-edge, six-sigma e-tailers to facilitate. We realize that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to envisioneer virally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our project management but our capability to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and J2EE. The obfuscation factor is enterprise. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the theory of raw bandwidth. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The capacity to reintermediate compellingly leads to the power to evolve seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end CAD and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Think macro-bleeding-edge, front-end. What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2C" really mean?