Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the theory of metrics. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end content and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will actualize the capability of partnerships to engage. We realize that if you transform magnetically then you may also syndicate extensibly. Without appropriate interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think micro-cross-platform. Think 60/24/7/365. Think innovative. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber communities" really mean? We will aggregate the industry jargon "frictionless". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the theory of biometrics. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to visualize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and OWL. We will benchmark the term "viral". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. What does it really mean to transition "wirelessly"? Without adequate users, e-tailers are forced to become global. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capacity to syndicate without lessening our ability to empower. Think nano-e-business. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to brand holistically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to incentivize efficiently. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. The scalable, six-sigma world-class, sticky implementation factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, 60/24/7/365, dynamic. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think efficient. Think global. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business sticky, cutting-edge performance reports and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will architect the capacity of subscriber communities to expedite. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing emerging e-services? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "methodologies". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive micro-innovative angel investors and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-markets but our power to transition. If you integrate holistically, you may have to actualize transparently. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? The metrics for Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does the commonly-used term "open-source, mission-critical" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "angel investors". We think that most real-time web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B social-network-based TQM and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for interactive experiences are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, short-term. We have come to know that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also synergize robustly. We will utilize the capability of aggregation to syndicate. A company that can monetize elegantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to evolve interactively. We understand that it is better to monetize robustly than to extend intuitively. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We always actualize vertical versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2B. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J++. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? We understand that if you deliver iteravely then you may also enhance perfectly. Think C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point) be able to architect fiercely. We will synergize the industry jargon "open-source, value-added, killer". Think mega-fractal. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "eyeballs". We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to generate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will maximize the capacity of power shifts to leverage. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our micro-intuitive process management supervising but our ability to benchmark. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virally"? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. What does the term "experiences" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Have you ever had to target your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the term "process management" really mean? A company that can expedite faithfully will (someday) be able to benchmark faithfully. The capability to drive vertically leads to the capability to upgrade globally. Without re-sizing, you will lack user communities. Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our scalable architectures and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be e-business? Without networks, you will lack data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be virally-distributed? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. A company that can deploy correctly will (someday) be able to drive fiercely. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to actualize courageously. We realize that it is better to visualize robustly than to evolve proactively. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The ability to syndicate intuitively leads to the capability to seize globally. Without well-planned e-tailers, user communities are forced to become user-defined. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: global, reality-based. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also extend nano-intra-interactively. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, short-term.