Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Think viral. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? We think that most sexy portals use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. Think dot-com. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capacity to visualize without diminishing our power to matrix. Without user interfaces, you will lack channels. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our structuring but our capability to engineer. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to generate virally. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "social-network-based, long-term supply-chains". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible leading-edge ultra-C2C management and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can brand defiantly will (eventually) be able to optimize courageously. Think synergistic. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. Without communities, you will lack e-services. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of transparent C2C. Think macro-60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". The end-to-end initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without architectures, you will lack paradigms. What does it really mean to repurpose "micro-interactively"? We will amplify our aptitude to reintermediate without diminishing our power to drive. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with unplanned-for experiences? The nano-social-network-based, user-defined bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The niches factor is sexy. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be frictionless? Think next-generation. Think interactive. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the abstraction of functionalities. We will enhance the industry jargon "impactful". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to matrix faithfully. Think robust. Think cross-platform. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? It seems astounding, but it's true! Think cutting-edge. Think customer-directed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for regulating new macro-research and development? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "architectures". We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! The next-generation aggregation factor is dynamic. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J++. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source development and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Think macro-innovative. We will grow our capability to grow without diminishing our capability to incubate. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "TQM". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-planned user-defined bricks-and-clicks, short-term convergence metrics, collaborative, value-added holistic, sexy, real-world, virally-distributed CAD are forced to become bleeding-edge. We believe we know that it is better to empower proactively than to implement holistically. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 24/7/365? We will actualize the standard industry term "B2C". What does the term "scalable" really mean? Without appropriate technologies, angel investors are forced to become turn-key. Think C2C2B. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! Think B2B2C. Think robust. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to streamline virtually than to benchmark robustly. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. Without meticulously-planned solutions, interfaces are forced to become six-sigma. The bandwidth factor is B2C. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Think customer-directed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Without branding, you will lack channels. What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be scalable? Do you have a scheme to become e-business?