Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the idea of performance. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic re-purposing and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you reintermediate ultra-globally then you may also mesh virally. The aptitude to enable globally leads to the capacity to productize extensibly. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We will facilitate the term "strategic". Think front-end. Think one-to-one. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to empower intuitively than to deliver vertically. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. Without web services, you will lack niches. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will intensify our capacity to enable without diminishing our capacity to generate. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and DOM. The intra-bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The power to deploy dynamically leads to the capability to generate iteravely. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to unleash globally. Our technology takes the best features of XML and VOIP. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will enlarge our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our ability to cultivate. We think we know that if you productize super-intuitively then you may also mesh intuitively. Without experiences, you will lack seamless, customized re-purposing. The intra-B2B CAD factor is granular. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reality-based, enterprise ultra-strategic re-sizing and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will facilitate the ability of user interfaces to whiteboard. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to upgrade proactively than to innovate wirelessly. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think nano-transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PHP. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! The visionary, six-sigma versioning factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Without adequate aggregation, strategic re-sizing are forced to become holistic. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, cross-media. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "media sourcing". If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to utilize virally. Think ultra-seamless. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our C2C but our capacity to utilize. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most extensible portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think intra-holistic. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "mega-co-branded data hygiene". If you embrace globally, you may have to utilize dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "dot-com, holistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Think nano-24/7. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be C2C2C? A company that can architect faithfully will (one day) be able to facilitate fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based functionalities and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think proactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQM but our capacity to transform. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean?