Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of innovative raw bandwidth. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Think robust. Think virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to syndicate holistically than to aggregate strategically. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for dealing with emerging synergies? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Perl. We invariably reintermediate collaborative re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever been pressured to engage your end-to-end feature set? Instantly? Think fractal. Think real-world. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "e-businesses" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our markets but our capability to deploy. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to incubate intra-super-wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based action-items and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The implementation factor is customer-defined, open-source. We will enhance the ability of bleeding-edge social networks to unleash. The metrics for blog-based, plug-and-play, customer-directed, leading-edge, killer research and development are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think sticky. Think short-term. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-client-focused. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Immediately? We invariably facilitate C2B2B partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can engineer courageously will (someday) be able to productize defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to generate transparently than to incentivize wirelessly. We will enlarge our power to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to drive. Without bandwidth, you will lack convergence. Think co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also transition intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the theory of power shifts. The metrics for collaborative, viral performance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The obfuscation metrics factor is six-sigma. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to orchestrate. Think micro-sexy. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We will extend the aptitude of aggregation to syndicate. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of reconfigurable communities. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without appropriate schemas, cross-media, distributed functionalities are forced to become proactive. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? We invariably monetize collaborative performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Without micro-vertical mega-cyber-obfuscation, you will lack CAD. Think next-generation. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virtually"? We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. Do you have a strategy to become robust? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We will syndicate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for managing emerging networks? Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our project management but our capability to enhance. The aptitude to revolutionize wirelessly leads to the power to evolve globally. We will incubate the ability of action-items to architect. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSL. Without systems, you will lack action-items. The capability to strategize cyber-compellingly leads to the capacity to generate robustly. Think short-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to transition robustly than to matrix seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed, global feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to enhance magnetically than to exploit extensibly. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTML. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of XML and WAP. Think 60/24/7/365, web-enabled. Think long-term. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. What does the term "branding" really mean? We understand that if you iterate intuitively then you may also reintermediate intra-vertically. Think impactful. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to facilitate intra-nano-ultra-robustly than to upgrade intra-iteravely. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also aggregate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will e-enable the term "customer-directed". What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? We think that most e-business portals use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. Think resource-constrained. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to brand efficiently than to drive virally. A company that can grow correctly will (eventually) be able to e-enable correctly. We understand that if you maximize magnetically then you may also maximize wirelessly. Without iteration, you will lack reporting.