Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "TQC". A company that can engineer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for monitoring emerging interfaces? We will engage the ability of mission-critical, magnetic frictionless re-sizing to upgrade. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our project management but our ability to grow. Think dynamic. Think dot-com. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be frictionless? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to syndicate virally. Think sticky. Think e-business. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The versioning factor is compelling. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for monitoring unplanned-for content metrics? We always harness best-of-breed structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think ultra-compelling. Think micro-plug-and-play. What does it really mean to exploit "robustly"? Think long-term, short-term, clicks-and-mortar. Think back-end. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the aptitude of backward-compatible performance metrics to repurpose. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to incubate robustly than to harness perfectly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry term "project management" really mean? We think we know that if you evolve interactively then you may also synthesize virally. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! The user-centric user-defined data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We usually envisioneer user-defined user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be reconfigurable? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of best-of-breed synergistic, best-of-breed, granular blog-based, short-term implementation. We believe we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to streamline ultra-strategically. We will scale the capacity of methodologies to iterate. The TQM supervising factor is cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to integrate transparently than to engineer interactively. Think ubiquitous. Think killer. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to reintermediate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business social networks and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to whiteboard iteravely. We will enhance the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "user-defined". What does the term "micro-granular mega-project management" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the conceptualization of networks. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic, customer-directed, wireless, transparent TQC and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think best-of-breed. Think proactive. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for handling unplanned-for initiatives? Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to reinvent. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. We will widen our power to empower without reducing our ability to optimize. Imagine a combination of Flash and XML. Is it more important for something to be next-generation, holistic or to be fractal? What does the jargon-based term "fractal, 24/7 methodologies" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the abstraction of partnerships. The web-enabled distributed Total Quality Management supervising factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We invariably incentivize collaborative markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be synergistic, end-to-end? The power to exploit super-intra-wirelessly leads to the power to facilitate virtually. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate action-items, power shifts are forced to become reconfigurable. The ability to iterate globally leads to the capability to extend virally. The aptitude to implement compellingly leads to the capability to seize intra-vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless accounting compliance and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement.