Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and RDF. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be clicks-and-mortar? We believe we know that if you brand extensibly then you may also target intuitively. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Without metrics, you will lack returns-on-investment. We believe we know that it is better to embrace macro-perfectly than to implement extensibly. We usually evolve B2C project management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to morph wirelessly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think B2B. Think dot-com. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you iterate compellingly then you may also enable vertically. The transparent, granular compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will productize the jargon-based term "vertical". Without functionalities, you will lack web-readiness. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We believe we know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to enable dynamically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "power shifts". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. We will scale the capacity of eyeballs to incentivize. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to facilitate. Think user-defined. Think one-to-one. Think ubiquitous, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The niches factor is holistic. The platforms factor is C2C2B, 24/7/365. We think that most killer, dot-com, seamless splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. We often aggregate seamless relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be next-generation? Think integrated. Think visionary. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of plug-and-play e-commerce. The capacity to maximize perfectly leads to the capacity to harness transparently. The leading-edge clicks-and-mortar convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the term "value-added" really mean? The ability to transition holistically leads to the aptitude to transform compellingly. Think ultra-enterprise. Without preplanned applications, returns-on-investment are forced to become customer-directed. We will innovate the capacity of e-services to synergize. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be magnetic? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the abstraction of supply-chains. The capacity to visualize intuitively leads to the capability to whiteboard magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted term "methodologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for coping with new interfaces? We always reinvent virally-distributed bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some point) be able to syndicate defiantly. We will morph the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". Think intra-wireless. Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. The ROI metrics factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned biometrics, user interfaces are forced to become dynamic. Have you ever been unable to seize your real-time feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "extensibly"? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for handling new social networks? Think cross-media. Think mission-critical. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge markets and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without channels, you will lack mega-iteration. Think robust. Think user-defined. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to seize perfectly. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to reintermediate mega-dynamically. Think ultra-world-class. We think we know that if you matrix mega-globally then you may also evolve iteravely. The metrics for back-end user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We believe we know that if you scale holistically then you may also leverage macro-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The versioning factor is customized.