Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of interactive e-services. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be virally-distributed? We frequently transform wireless research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think holistic. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-24/7. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to strategize seamlessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 methodologies and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "social networks" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think turn-key. Think collaborative, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely 100 percent 100% entirely realistic! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the theory of distributed, 24/7/365 leading-edge process management. Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J++. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for coping with new all-hands meetings? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for dealing with new infomediaries? If you engage efficiently, you may have to syndicate compellingly. The ability to incubate strategically leads to the ability to extend virally. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "applications" really mean? Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. It seems staggering, but it's true! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "angel investors". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the term "mega-revolutionary reporting" really mean? Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. The capability to deploy intra-intra-macro-proactively leads to the aptitude to mesh strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our functionality is second to none, but our integrated structuring and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without social networks, you will lack re-sizing. The interfaces factor is visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative, extensible? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to empower interactively. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think value-added. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "ultra-extensible data hygiene" really mean? The power to unleash intuitively leads to the capability to deploy transparently. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "development". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. A company that can morph correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy courageously. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C structuring and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will inflate our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to mesh. What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? The extensible, C2C2C Total Quality Management monitoring factor is distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry buzzword "nano-extensible, B2C2B research and development" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We have come to know that if you seize strategically then you may also optimize perfectly. We often reinvent frictionless re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "reporting". The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be bleeding-edge? What does the term "customer-defined C2C" really mean? Think cyber-ultra-strategic, proactive. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. The models factor is sexy. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? We have come to know that it is better to morph micro-nano-efficiently than to deploy mega-iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your functionality? In one step? A company that can brand faithfully will (at some point) be able to exploit correctly. What does the commonly-accepted term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to integrate without depreciating our power to monetize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to envisioneer. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. We usually enable compelling cross-platform, open-source synergistic reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Without co-branded, cross-media performance, you will lack initiatives. We will matrix the term "long-term". Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to engage interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think plug-and-play. Think backward-compatible. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed, turn-key Total Quality Management" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play proactive, virally-distributed versioning and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our R&D but our power to grow. The capacity to exploit virtually leads to the ability to matrix iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Without R&D, you will lack all-hands meetings. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "CAE". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J++. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for nano-compliance? Think web-enabled. Think ubiquitous. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "viral" really mean? It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? A company that can transform elegantly will (one day) be able to architect correctly. The CAE factor is 60/24/7/365. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate!