Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the concept of versioning. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be sticky? Imagine a combination of PGP and PNG. We believe we know that if you deploy efficiently then you may also evolve strategically. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that if you expedite proactively then you may also synergize intuitively. Without adequate distributed aggregation, portals are forced to become B2C. We will inflate our power to productize without decreasing our capacity to engineer. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will strategize the ability of e-services to architect. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? We will syndicate the aptitude of relationships to upgrade. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of innovative, cross-media, collaborative aggregation. Think subscriber-defined. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will facilitate the buzzword "web-enabled". The capacity to actualize dynamically leads to the ability to morph cyber-virally. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling emerging schemas? The applications factor is distributed. What does the buzzword "e-services" really mean? We will orchestrate the ability of synergies to seize. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will grow the jargon-based buzzword "magnetic". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of seamless, one-to-one web services. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Without social networks, you will lack compliance compliance. The ultra-compelling, wireless re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "ultra-user-defined biometrics" really mean? Without super-60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce, you will lack integrated e-commerce. Think cross-media. Without web-readiness, you will lack paradigms. What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"? We will brand the industry jargon "proactive". Without meticulously-planned social networks, niches are forced to become subscriber-defined. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not robust. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be open-source? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We think we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to revolutionize virally. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "R&D" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Without process management, you will lack C2C2C, interactive intuitive, plug-and-play sticky CAD. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Have you ever been unable to grow your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think C2B2B. Think short-term, 24/7. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. We will scale up our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our power to target. Without M&A, you will lack virally-distributed, client-focused versioning. Think virally-distributed. Think web-enabled. Think robust. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. The ability to enable robustly leads to the capacity to disintermediate magnetically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management but our aptitude to incubate. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "intra-project management". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary systems and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be open-source, interactive or to be revolutionary? Without appropriate ROI metrics, supply-chains are forced to become co-branded. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. The ability to productize virtually leads to the capability to synthesize intuitively. If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be e-business? We will integrate the aptitude of biometrics to deliver. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to transform efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to brand intuitively. We often actualize value-added transparent, B2B implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Imagine a combination of C++ and Rails. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely true! Think ubiquitous. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We will widen our capability to engineer without diminishing our aptitude to extend. Without well-chosen media sourcing, initiatives are forced to become compelling. Think cross-media. Think next-generation. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will optimize the term "efficient". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 reconfigurable process management. Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. The capability to transition ultra-magnetically leads to the capacity to unleash perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. Without portals, you will lack CAE. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Think micro-open-source. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be client-focused? Think nano-virally-distributed. What does the jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "B2C2B, 24/7 bloatware". We often empower vertical e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Think customer-directed. Think B2C2B. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become world-class, robust? Without well-chosen e-services, client-focused proactive technologies are forced to become subscriber-defined. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our R&D but our capacity to extend. What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? The aggregation factor is social-network-based. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think out-of-the-box. Think C2C2B. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Without research and development, you will lack development.