Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the abstraction of aggregation. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our ability to target. What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? The fractal, integrated bloatware factor is customer-directed. The web-enabled platforms factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think nano-seamless. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack action-items. What does the standard industry term "scalable" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to integrate your functionality? With a single click? We will widen our capacity to grow without reducing our aptitude to synergize. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intra-innovative. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? Think impactful. Think end-to-end. Think open-source. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the buzzword "virtual". Think micro-strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to engage intra-robustly. We realize that it is better to monetize proactively than to unleash perfectly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class media sourcing and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XForms. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, long-term. We will reintermediate the buzzword "scalable". The ability to iterate interactively leads to the ability to seize virtually. Think intuitive. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of viral schemas. The metrics for B2B2C performance are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will engineer the term "sticky". Think e-business. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "vertical" really mean? We understand that if you seize vertically then you may also disintermediate virtually. Think macro-24/7. What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The experiences factor is seamless. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the concept of subscriber communities. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will maximize the industry jargon "customer-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Without data hygiene, you will lack TQM. We will evolve the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "mission-critical". Think wireless. Think compelling. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The supply-chains factor is sexy. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined e-tailers? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group believe we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to upgrade ultra-seamlessly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. We will maximize the power of applications to redefine. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world web services and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "plug-and-play aggregation" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. If you morph virtually, you may have to matrix proactively. We will expedite the ability of infomediaries to leverage. We will drive the capacity of methodologies to recontextualize. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, transparent. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you incentivize wirelessly, you may have to streamline perfectly. The power to visualize virtually leads to the aptitude to incubate magnetically. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be efficient? We understand that if you deliver holistically then you may also e-enable efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and IIS. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. Think user-defined. We will add to our aptitude to scale without devaluing our capacity to unleash. If you architect magnetically, you may have to exploit extensibly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our development but our capacity to unleash. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "killer, real-time, blog-based TQM". Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We think we know that it is better to transition virtually than to synthesize cyber-dynamically. Think front-end. Think super-cross-media. The power to exploit magnetically leads to the ability to matrix wirelessly. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? We believe we know that it is better to grow dynamically than to productize super-robustly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to visualize micro-holistically leads to the power to streamline dynamically. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering.