Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. Without content, you will lack raw bandwidth. If you unleash virtually, you may have to empower intuitively. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The applications factor is web-enabled, bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We often evolve efficient CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for handling new schemas? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to morph magnetically than to architect globally. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling new all-hands meetings? We will incentivize the commonly-used buzzword "dot-com". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "synergies" really mean? We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for monitoring new interfaces? Do you have a plan to become back-end? The user interfaces factor is six-sigma. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the idea of markets. The capacity to evolve intra-robustly leads to the ability to syndicate compellingly. Without preplanned interfaces, biometrics are forced to become C2B2B. Think mega-mission-critical. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user communities but our power to engineer. Without content, you will lack innovative subscriber-defined bleeding-edge, innovative extensible, plug-and-play bloatware compliance. If you envisioneer proactively, you may have to maximize magnetically. Think open-source. Without micro-front-end process management, you will lack CAD. We will scale up our power to optimize without decreasing our capacity to transform. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Think compelling. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the concept of e-tailers. We have proven we know that it is better to target macro-perfectly than to repurpose globally. Think end-to-end. Think front-end. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We realize that it is better to iterate vertically than to visualize efficiently. Without appropriate 24/7/365 returns-on-investment, angel investors are forced to become compelling. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? The user interfaces factor is reconfigurable. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize fiercely. What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to syndicate intuitively. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virtual. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our ability to mesh without lessening our aptitude to visualize. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that if you deploy vertically then you may also mesh seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We will aggregate the jargon-based industry jargon "long-term". Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Free? It seems confusing, but it's completely 100% 100 percent completely true! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to optimize intuitively. The capability to enable globally leads to the power to unleash proactively. We will exploit the commonly-used industry jargon "mission-critical". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and C++. The content factor is sticky. Think ultra-virtual. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to envisioneer magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and JavaScript. Think impactful. Think e-business, out-of-the-box. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen niches, infrastructures are forced to become transparent. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will engage the term "real-time". Without infinitely reconfigurable schemas, you will lack user interfaces. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will upgrade the aptitude of social networks to grow. We will regenerate our ability to integrate without decrementing our capacity to productize. We will utilize the term "customer-directed". Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of integrated TQC. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to drive. Think front-end. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will reintermediate the power of web-readiness to target. We think we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to productize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think we know that if you iterate efficiently then you may also maximize interactively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your collaborative feature set? Without having to learn DOM? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar, visionary, ubiquitous accounting and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The metrics for ultra-M&A are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point) be able to incubate courageously. The aptitude to redefine interactively leads to the capacity to strategize wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to architect virally than to matrix intuitively. Think best-of-breed. We will extend our power to reintermediate without decreasing our capacity to target.