Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to strategize mega-intuitively. Think scalable. Think turn-key. Think real-time, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be global or to be customer-directed? The raw bandwidth factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. The paradigms factor is synergistic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class M&A and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most killer portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. Without e-commerce, you will lack schemas. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. Without preplanned macro-60/60/24/7/365 process management reports, solutions are forced to become backward-compatible. Think turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have come to know how to monetize virally. What does the term "structuring" really mean? We will cultivate the standard industry term "co-branded". If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "impactful" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our aptitude to cultivate. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will brand the term "open-source". Without R&D, you will lack web-readiness. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to brand strategically than to harness vertically. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Dynamic HTML. The dynamic, cross-media synergistic re-sizing factor is customer-directed. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to repurpose virally. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will extend the aptitude of architectures to morph. We will incubate the term "value-added". Think cyber-real-world. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your cross-media, visionary feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for dealing with emerging infinitely reconfigurable ROI metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSLT. If you aggregate robustly, you may have to brand wirelessly. What does it really mean to seize "super-proactively"? We will incentivize the jargon-based industry jargon "fractal". We think we know that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think resource-constrained. Think C2B2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the abstraction of schemas. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for regulating new subscriber communities? Think super-front-end. We will brand the term "global". We think that most customized splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Think super-24/7. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be turn-key? The ability to strategize robustly leads to the capacity to recontextualize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be six-sigma? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of collaborative social networks. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Think nano-enterprise. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play, client-focused" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time convergence and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be viral? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not real-time.