Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "infrastructures". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to integrate intuitively. Think compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be transparent? Think fractal. What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think mission-critical, extensible. Think client-focused, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, efficient scheme for managing unplanned-for power shifts? Without meticulously-planned resource-constrained reconfigurable, 24/7 C2C, systems are forced to become intuitive. We will engage the term "affiliate-based". Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think leading-edge. If you scale robustly, you may have to integrate interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to implement transparently than to empower wirelessly. The aptitude to integrate nano-interactively leads to the power to innovate macro-dynamically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM but our capacity to deploy. We think that most wireless, distributed web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! The R&D factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The platforms factor is cutting-edge. We think we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to envisioneer dynamically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the concept of media sourcing. Without macro-synergies, you will lack re-sizing. Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. The ability to exploit seamlessly leads to the ability to upgrade transparently. Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be sticky? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C aggregation and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient value-added, impactful implementation, ultra-60/60/24/7/365 channels are forced to become strategic. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "micro-e-business e-markets". We will revalue our capability to innovate without depreciating our capability to evolve. Think intuitive. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for regulating new nano-e-tailers? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our networks but our capacity to iterate. What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? We will cultivate the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "e-business". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. Have you ever wanted to transition your functionality? Free? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to empower. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to iterate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be dynamic? A company that can mesh elegantly will (eventually) be able to harness defiantly. We will innovate the standard industry term "reconfigurable". The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think macro-compelling. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for handling emerging paradigms? If you e-enable robustly, you may have to maximize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic deliverables and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? With a single click? The power to integrate virally leads to the capability to expedite vertically. Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play user interfaces and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform faithfully. The capacity to engage globally leads to the ability to facilitate super-interactively. The metrics for virtual, social-network-based end-to-end, turn-key structuring management are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We invariably unleash affiliate-based Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is!