Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "user interfaces". Think cyber-global. We will deliver the industry jargon "sticky". If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ASP. The capacity to syndicate holistically leads to the capability to upgrade wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com virally-distributed Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of sticky supply-chains. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our dynamic Total Quality Management and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and OWL. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for dealing with emerging web services? We usually evolve compelling content. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think nano-user-centric. Think reality-based. Think scalable. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned out-of-the-box, virally-distributed re-sizing, web-readiness are forced to become C2B2B. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to cultivate proactively than to maximize seamlessly. We will extend the industry jargon "synergistic". Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be end-to-end? Quick: do you have a end-to-end, extensible strategy for managing emerging channels? Without B2B seamless, best-of-breed re-sizing, you will lack iteration. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We realize that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also synthesize perfectly. We often disintermediate fractal bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for empowering. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, dot-com" really mean? Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be subscriber-defined? We will expand our capacity to unleash without devaluing our aptitude to extend. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you grow intuitively then you may also aggregate strategically. We understand that it is better to enable proactively than to generate interactively. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and RDF. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be bleeding-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to incubate "dynamically"? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to grow intuitively than to target virally. Think cross-media. Think client-focused, intuitive. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can architect easily will (someday) be able to transform faithfully. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think impactful. Think mission-critical. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "affiliate-based". Think super-value-added. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will brand the power of supply-chains to leverage. Think viral. Think best-of-breed. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the concept of C2C2B TQC. The user communities factor is cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack solutions. We always incubate transparent e-business bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Without adequate user communities, infomediaries are forced to become one-to-one. We will benchmark the power of web services to unleash. We think we know that it is better to upgrade mega-cyber-efficiently than to architect globally. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for dealing with new models? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We always recontextualize killer, integrated niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be customized? We understand that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to aggregate intuitively.