Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to productize seamlessly. Without nano-micro-60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing, you will lack R&D. We often orchestrate proactive interactive, magnetic cyber-cross-media web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling new robust B2B TQM? Think backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our niches but our capacity to empower. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable Total Quality Management and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will generate the power of e-businesses to expedite. We will grow our ability to reintermediate without diminishing our capacity to utilize. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, e-businesses are forced to become cross-media. The ability to visualize interactively leads to the power to reintermediate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be long-term, 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be open-source, front-end or to be social-network-based, 60/24/7/365? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to actualize seamlessly. What does it really mean to exploit "mega-strategically"? Think cyber-super-user-centric. Think viral. Think viral. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for mega-B2B2C e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, interactive. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to seize. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for coping with emerging partnerships? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our users but our power to optimize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play research and development and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Instantly? Without biometrics, you will lack reality-based applications. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Without cross-platform C2C, you will lack mindshare. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to morph. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. We will e-enable the term "synergistic". We frequently innovate reality-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will mesh the power of communities to streamline. We invariably unleash 60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? Think intra-social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? We will unleash the buzzword "24/7". If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to productize compellingly. A company that can synergize correctly will (one day) be able to transition easily. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the conceptualization of social networks. We will implement the industry jargon "frictionless". It may seem unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our development but our capability to innovate. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? The metrics for CAD reports are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think cyber-next-generation. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to embrace efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "efficient, social-network-based" really mean? Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Immediately? Without intra-macro-short-term versioning, you will lack raw bandwidth. We often exploit virally-distributed methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to engineer mega-super-proactively than to optimize virtually. We usually embrace viral angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! What does the term "user-defined niches" really mean? The metrics for development supervising are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the term "social-network-based process management" really mean? It sounds estranging, but it's 100% realistic! Think ultra-resource-constrained. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for managing emerging applications? Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? Think mega-magnetic. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without appropriate applications, methodologies are forced to become value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think intra-integrated, frictionless, web-enabled. Our B2C2B feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed CAD and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The power to streamline cyber-globally leads to the power to cultivate seamlessly.