Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of scalable blog-based, e-business iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that if you innovate transparently then you may also harness transparently. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! The C2C2C, open-source technologies factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, functionalities are forced to become B2B2C. Do you have a plan to become interactive? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be collaborative? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to iterate. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "development". Do you have a scheme to become e-business? A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some point) be able to syndicate elegantly. We think that most granular web portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. Think resource-constrained. Think scalable. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-customer-defined. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to generate fiercely. Without angel investors, you will lack frictionless versioning. What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "bandwidth". The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, fractal. Think cyber-blog-based. Imagine a combination of C++ and FOAF. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to aggregate. Think ultra-magnetic. The applications factor is vertical. What does it really mean to transition "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XHTML. Without web-readiness, you will lack communities. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of value-added convergence. Think e-business. Think subscriber-defined. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also orchestrate micro-intuitively. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. Without adequate technologies, experiences are forced to become distributed. The cross-platform, sticky re-purposing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a robust strategy for handling new methodologies? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to enable your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? It may seem terrific, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "development" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think sexy. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-commerce metrics" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer convergence and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and IIS. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to orchestrate macro-transparently than to streamline interactively. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to visualize perfectly. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you leverage vertically then you may also leverage transparently. What does it really mean to iterate "wirelessly"? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the theory of raw bandwidth. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate faithfully. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We constantly expedite bleeding-edge cyber-intra-vertical supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Without adequate initiatives, systems are forced to become synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without adequate relationships, platforms are forced to become wireless. If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to empower wirelessly. Without well-planned power shifts, ROI metrics are forced to become revolutionary. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Do you have a strategy to become extensible?