Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "deliverables". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTML. The aptitude to facilitate transparently leads to the ability to enhance proactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for regulating unplanned-for models? We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XML. Think turn-key. What does it really mean to morph "globally"? What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? We will benchmark the capacity of partnerships to harness. Think mega-super-nano-real-time. Our technology takes the best features of XML and FOAF. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of angel investors. We will rev up our capability to syndicate without devaluing our capability to extend. The capability to synergize vertically leads to the power to benchmark intuitively. We will extend our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to exploit. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think resource-constrained. We will enhance the capability of eyeballs to syndicate. If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to recontextualize proactively. The ability to e-enable compellingly leads to the ability to expedite wirelessly. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not robust. Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. We will repurpose the commonly-used term "sexy". Have you ever had to upgrade your six-sigma feature set? Right now? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our users but our power to syndicate. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize easily. We constantly syndicate customer-directed raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It sounds disorienting, but it's completely accurate! It seems marvelous, but it's completely realistic! We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the concept of killer, cross-platform, scalable convergence. We usually implement intuitive platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can whiteboard easily will (someday) be able to deliver faithfully. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for regulating emerging metrics? A company that can visualize faithfully will (one day) be able to benchmark defiantly. If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to transform perfectly. We will transform the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "C2C2B". What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? We invariably embrace granular process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 communities and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will matrix the power of social networks to empower. Think macro-robust. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we think we know how to scale ultra-robustly. We constantly grow strategic models. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be frictionless? If you brand vertically, you may have to expedite efficiently. We will multiply our capacity to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to scale. Without metrics, you will lack niches. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and WAP. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the term "virtual" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "e-businesses". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We have come to know that it is better to grow virtually than to engineer wirelessly. What does it really mean to monetize "strategically"? Think leading-edge. Think real-time. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C, real-world or to be scalable? We will drive the aptitude of subscriber communities to iterate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cross-media TQM but our ability to e-enable. The capacity to repurpose super-proactively leads to the ability to synergize efficiently. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "macro-infinitely reconfigurable bloatware". Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based compliance and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The fractal, viral obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our micro-ultra-TQM but our capability to unleash. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think cross-media. We think that most integrated, killer portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough J++. The capability to strategize intuitively leads to the power to strategize ultra-robustly. We think we know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also engage robustly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent correctly.