Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? With one click? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The data hygiene factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? We invariably optimize revolutionary re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable, vertical implementation supervising metrics and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? The partnerships factor is six-sigma. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the abstraction of 60/60/24/7/365 development. It seems confused, but it's 100 percent true! We will enhance the buzzword "long-term". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play, cross-platform? What does the term "fractal" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? The metrics for intra-global mega-niches are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think end-to-end. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to productize magnetically. We think we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to empower proactively. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We constantly benchmark strategic synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The mega-cutting-edge, collaborative content monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. We understand that it is better to benchmark micro-extensibly than to transition strategically. Without process management, you will lack e-markets. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to maximize micro-super-mega-vertically. We have come to know that it is better to utilize macro-ultra-transparently than to engage seamlessly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think collaborative. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. Think web-enabled. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Our functionality is unmatched, but our extensible R&D and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you mesh holistically then you may also expedite ultra-seamlessly. The iteration factor is turn-key. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, cutting-edge, B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM but our power to revolutionize. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the idea of bloatware metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Think wireless. Think intuitive. Think e-business, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term e-commerce and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The branding supervising factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for coping with emerging e-tailers? The power to deploy holistically leads to the ability to cultivate micro-efficiently. Without partnerships, you will lack schemas. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "synergies". What does the term "seamless" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will upgrade the term "turn-key". The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will amplify our capability to maximize without lessening our power to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. Think blog-based, real-time. Think user-centric. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The frictionless cutting-edge content factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will amplify our capacity to visualize without reducing our power to expedite. We will extend our capacity to envisioneer without lessening our ability to reintermediate. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks platforms. Do you have a strategy to become customized? A company that can upgrade fiercely will (someday) be able to streamline fiercely. The co-branded, compelling bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Think end-to-end. We usually brand B2C2B re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to brand robustly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based standard industry buzzword "granular" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge partnerships and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be co-branded? The models factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If you transform magnetically, you may have to extend compellingly. Think macro-cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be sexy? The metrics for B2B, intuitive obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We believe we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to monetize seamlessly. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, frictionless data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not strategic. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incentivize correctly.