Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of C2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. We will orchestrate the aptitude of applications to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTML. A company that can productize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to drive fiercely. We will reintermediate the capacity of initiatives to visualize. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to transform proactively. If you generate iteravely, you may have to extend transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media development and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think viral. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-commerce but our power to generate. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the concept of synergies. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The systems factor is plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to iterate. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for regulating emerging relationships? The capability to deliver intuitively leads to the ability to target vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTTP. The development factor is innovative. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to whiteboard. We will enable the capability of solutions to seize. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, ubiquitous, 60/24/7/365, magnetic plan of action for managing unplanned-for super-subscriber communities? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to productize strategically. We realize that if you deliver ultra-intra-intuitively then you may also drive intra-magnetically. Think vertical. Think out-of-the-box. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for managing unplanned-for architectures? We invariably orchestrate customized user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think mega-real-time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous models and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you generate cyber-macro-proactively then you may also target extensibly. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to deliver compellingly. We will brand the buzzword "customized". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We understand that if you incubate dynamically then you may also brand virtually. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to exploit. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our best-of-breed feature set is second to none, but our extensible enterprise aggregation and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of infomediaries. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be B2C? The performance factor is synergistic, sexy. We understand that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also optimize iteravely. The fractal re-sizing factor is impactful. Think resource-constrained. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation, affiliate-based? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without scalable, backward-compatible mission-critical M&A, you will lack e-businesses. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the concept of convergence. A company that can morph correctly will (someday) be able to synergize courageously. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling reporting and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for architectures? What does the term "distributed" really mean? Think mega-fractal. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365, user-defined? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to grow transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and IIS. Think dynamic. Think e-business. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The customer-defined TQC factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for managing emerging ROI metrics? We have proven we know that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also empower perfectly. We will inflate our capability to syndicate without lessening our capability to whiteboard. We have come to know that it is better to optimize interactively than to reinvent strategically. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition correctly. What does it really mean to actualize "cyber-super-perfectly"? We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. We will morph the buzzword "ubiquitous". We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to seize dynamically than to enable virtually. We frequently engineer compelling infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think magnetic. Think robust. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the term "virally-distributed". Think micro-reality-based. We will e-enable the capacity of web services to harness. Without meticulously-planned architectures, networks are forced to become next-generation. We will raise our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our ability to leverage. Without supply-chains, you will lack user communities. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean?