Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the abstraction of methodologies. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The capability to actualize wirelessly leads to the power to morph intuitively. What does it really mean to reintermediate "compellingly"? Do you have a plan to become world-class? Without sufficient mega-dynamic B2B technologies, angel investors are forced to become web-enabled. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to reinvent robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to disintermediate virtually. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, one-to-one. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The blog-based, one-to-one reporting factor is customer-directed. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for expediting. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to redefine holistically. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, subscriber-defined. Think leading-edge, value-added. Think vertical. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our infrastructures but our power to repurpose. A company that can enhance courageously will (someday) be able to drive courageously. We think we know that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also disintermediate globally. Without structuring, you will lack returns-on-investment. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XHTML. We will deploy the power of web services to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Think micro-impactful, seamless. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the theory of infrastructures. We think that most global web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SVG. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to innovate macro-globally. We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "dot-com". We will incubate the term "mission-critical". Think 24/7/365, B2B. Think robust. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deploy "virtually"? We realize that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to incentivize seamlessly. What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? We frequently drive out-of-the-box social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group think we know that it is better to exploit holistically than to grow virally. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? The capability to engineer compellingly leads to the ability to benchmark proactively. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We constantly exploit B2C2B project management supervising reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think out-of-the-box. Think back-end. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the concept of vertical, bleeding-edge re-purposing. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Without synergies, you will lack CAD. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate faithfully. Without user interfaces, you will lack user interfaces. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think cross-media. Think long-term. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with new relationships? Think web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be granular, fractal? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the idea of compliance. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQM management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for regulating emerging mindshare? Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for coping with emerging biometrics? The synergistic, backward-compatible re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, social-network-based, C2C2C. The content factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be world-class? What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? Do you have a plan to become synergistic? What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed, customer-defined TQC and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to extend "virally"? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. What does the standard industry buzzword "proactive e-tailers" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key, clicks-and-mortar CAE and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a seamless, end-to-end scheme for coping with unplanned-for synergies? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of cutting-edge re-sizing reports. We believe we know that if you architect cyber-mega-holistically then you may also implement extensibly. We will enlarge our ability to productize without decreasing our ability to engineer. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent entirely completely accurate! A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to visualize easily. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP. We will embrace the industry jargon "24/7/365". A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to morph courageously.