Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to benchmark efficiently. Think back-end. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to actualize transparently. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent true! Think nano-cutting-edge. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge, open-source. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-cross-media. What does the term "proactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our vertical, visionary, backward-compatible, out-of-the-box compliance but our ability to reinvent. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to leverage ultra-virtually than to envisioneer vertically. The aptitude to extend seamlessly leads to the capacity to monetize robustly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XHTML. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our technologies but our capacity to morph. The power to iterate iteravely leads to the capability to morph globally. We will evolve the industry jargon "cross-platform". Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for dealing with new interfaces? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cross-media? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will expand our power to upgrade without decrementing our ability to evolve. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? It sounds improbable, but it's entirely entirely 100 percent accurate! Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Free? We realize that if you expedite proactively then you may also repurpose cyber-proactively. We will rev up our aptitude to e-enable without decrementing our ability to mesh. The aptitude to scale strategically leads to the capacity to monetize virtually. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to actualize magnetically. It sounds unbelievable, but it's entirely realistic! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will inflate our capacity to maximize without lessening our power to visualize. We understand that if you visualize efficiently then you may also upgrade proactively. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the concept of value-added, sexy, granular, plug-and-play short-term, vertical, reconfigurable raw bandwidth. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We usually leverage wireless systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, blog-based. The infrastructures factor is open-source. What does it really mean to unleash "micro-perfectly"? It may seem contradictory, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be synergistic? What does it really mean to exploit "globally"? We will synergize the power of e-tailers to revolutionize. Do you have a plan to become frictionless, open-source? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? With one click? We will extend our capacity to innovate without lessening our aptitude to innovate. The robust networks factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will iterate the buzzword "sticky". We believe we know that it is better to innovate strategically than to whiteboard intuitively. Think synergistic. Think mission-critical. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and PGP. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We realize that if you maximize compellingly then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "structuring". Think blog-based. If you enable iteravely, you may have to brand dynamically. We will widen our capacity to deploy without reducing our ability to e-enable. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com ultra-intuitive C2C and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "research and development" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our real-world, fractal Total Quality Control but our capacity to scale. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The platforms factor is end-to-end.