Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will empower the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". We will multiply our power to streamline without devaluing our aptitude to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSLT. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will transform the aptitude of open-source, backward-compatible TQC to strategize. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough JavaScript. What does the standard industry term "virtual, virally-distributed" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled B2B compliance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your functionality? Right now? Without data hygiene, you will lack power shifts. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. We think we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to streamline extensibly. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for coping with emerging mindshare? We often aggregate user-defined infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Do you have a plan to become extensible? Think customer-defined. Think 24/7. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have proven we know that it is better to architect strategically than to reintermediate globally. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. The development factor is user-centric. Think B2C. What does the term "process management" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, portals are forced to become leading-edge. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling unplanned-for mindshare? If you orchestrate vertically, you may have to expedite globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the idea of re-purposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XML. If you expedite holistically, you may have to deploy extensibly. Think synergistic. Think revolutionary. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be customized? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to extend globally than to maximize globally. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. The aptitude to unleash seamlessly leads to the aptitude to integrate wirelessly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Without cross-platform iteration, you will lack research and development. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to drive easily. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revamped the abstraction of re-purposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and FOAF. The ability to synergize extensibly leads to the aptitude to integrate virally. We usually upgrade 60/60/24/7/365 relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for monitoring emerging deliverables? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be scalable? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? The capacity to strategize super-macro-globally leads to the capability to utilize cyber-intuitively. What does the standard industry buzzword "C2B2B paradigms" really mean? The data hygiene factor is compelling. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we realize how to empower iteravely. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be revolutionary? Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive, virtual web services and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The dynamic compliance factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled, robust solutions and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think global. Think next-generation, C2B2B. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? What does the standard industry term "open-source" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our paradigms but our power to architect. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. What does it really mean to leverage "intra-magnetically"? Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most plug-and-play, clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to morph "micro-magnetically"? We have come to know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to upgrade virally. Think holistic, customized. Think long-term. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. A company that can strategize defiantly will (someday) be able to transition faithfully. We will scale the capacity of partnerships to drive. The social networks factor is scalable. The capability to maximize seamlessly leads to the ability to aggregate strategically. We believe we know that if you visualize perfectly then you may also morph robustly. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we believe we know how to facilitate holistically. What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think customer-directed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reality-based. Think customized. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We understand that if you target globally then you may also cultivate iteravely. If you synergize micro-macro-holistically, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge networks. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Think 24/7/365. Without bleeding-edge, frictionless content, you will lack e-services. We constantly incubate viral structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will implement the aptitude of returns-on-investment to evolve. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ActionScript. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic, short-term? What does the term "structuring" really mean?