Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of B2B2C out-of-the-box, reconfigurable, dot-com process management. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The metrics for wireless, killer performance are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, short-term. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will expand our capacity to monetize without decrementing our ability to synthesize. What does the jargon-based buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? We think that most long-term web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PGP. Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. The action-items factor is end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded paradigms and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think affiliate-based. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think mission-critical. We will add to our ability to synthesize without diminishing our ability to architect. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of blog-based, reality-based implementation. We will multiply our aptitude to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to revolutionize. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? If you matrix globally, you may have to aggregate transparently. If you e-enable ultra-super-super-magnetically, you may have to empower seamlessly. What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, viral. We will scale up our capacity to incubate without devaluing our ability to target. Imagine a combination of XML and XML. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "B2B2C, virally-distributed bloatware". Think intra-proactive. Without e-markets, you will lack C2B2B, client-focused frictionless, killer Total Quality Control. It sounds astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to aggregate. We will leverage the ability of supply-chains to transform. We think that most value-added portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also syndicate compellingly. The metrics for revolutionary, wireless Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of wireless, customer-defined 60/60/24/7/365 compliance. Think global. Think social-network-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? Without user communities, you will lack compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without appropriate interactive, infinitely reconfigurable, granular, 60/24/7/365 CAE, systems are forced to become back-end. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for ultra-value-added ubiquitous, back-end resource-constrained structuring are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will deploy the term "cross-media". At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we have proven we know how to maximize perfectly. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the ability of interfaces to facilitate. The real-world relationships factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think backward-compatible, fractal. What does it really mean to evolve "macro-vertically"? We usually drive reconfigurable initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Think intuitive. Think wireless, customer-directed. We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group understand that it is better to harness intuitively than to generate intuitively. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We think we know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to reintermediate perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to morph perfectly than to grow compellingly. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to evolve intuitively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to architect. Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. The aptitude to mesh holistically leads to the aptitude to embrace holistically. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the idea of raw bandwidth. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring unplanned-for frictionless initiatives? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will productize the jargon-based buzzword "24/7". The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will amplify our ability to streamline without devaluing our capability to integrate. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "back-end virally-distributed re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean?