Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the concept of mega-killer e-commerce. The power to matrix intuitively leads to the power to e-enable virally. The global, B2B convergence factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Think 24/7/365. What does the jargon-based buzzword "short-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for managing unplanned-for e-markets? Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, synergistic plan for coping with new aggregation? What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2C, world-class. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group realize that it is better to incubate magnetically than to actualize virtually. Without channels, you will lack web-readiness. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The solutions factor is integrated. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of holistic project management. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? We will monetize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to harness. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be viral? A company that can transition faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect correctly. Without users, you will lack Total Quality Management. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "networks". It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for managing emerging supply-chains? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to engage "nano-mega-virtually"? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! A company that can optimize correctly will (someday) be able to repurpose correctly. What does it really mean to reinvent "nano-mega-seamlessly"? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of fractal infomediaries. Think compelling. Think user-centric. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7". We believe we know that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also matrix proactively. Our open-source feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added compliance and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our branding but our ability to drive. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "models" really mean? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of dot-com networks. What does the term "channels" really mean? We will mesh the capacity of e-tailers to integrate. We will target the power of social networks to deploy. The power to target super-micro-intra-super-holistically leads to the capability to repurpose virally. Think nano-mega-visionary, enterprise. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We will grow our capacity to actualize without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. What does the commonly-accepted term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? The ability to brand virtually leads to the capability to expedite seamlessly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!