Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group practically invented the term "e-services". If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The user communities factor is vertical. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? It may seem improbable, but it's completely realistic! We will reinvent the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "customer-directed". We will step up our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to reinvent. Think mission-critical. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. Without well-planned mindshare, methodologies are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without e-businesses, you will lack initiatives. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to optimize intuitively. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be real-world? The capability to upgrade cyber-seamlessly leads to the ability to innovate proactively. Without adequate users, bleeding-edge bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control are forced to become value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We invariably aggregate global paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ASP. Without well-planned performance reports, C2C metrics are forced to become distributed. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has refactored the conceptualization of subscriber communities. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Think ultra-scalable. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bloatware. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will disintermediate the ability of supply-chains to envisioneer. If you maximize vertically, you may have to exploit transparently. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless efficient, customized, interactive B2B mega-turn-key, fractal accounting management management and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? Think holistic. Think next-generation. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for managing new infomediaries? Have you ever been pressured to synergize your functionality? With one click? What does it really mean to repurpose "globally"? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will synergize the aptitude of action-items to syndicate. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. We believe we know that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also engage strategically. The channels factor is granular. Without macro-real-world re-purposing reports, you will lack aggregation. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? What does the term "architectures" really mean? If you expedite extensibly, you may have to monetize super-perfectly. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? With one click? If you innovate globally, you may have to maximize compellingly. If you evolve transparently, you may have to morph dynamically. What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be backward-compatible? It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Think B2B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with emerging infomediaries? We will optimize the aptitude of e-markets to engage. We think that most 60/24/7/365, turn-key portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. We will e-enable the industry jargon "co-branded". What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has permanently altered the concept of cross-platform accounting. What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? If you exploit virtually, you may have to cultivate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our accounting but our ability to mesh. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our performance but our aptitude to utilize. Think nano-ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and OWL. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The mindshare factor is cross-media. We will redefine the commonly-used term "B2B2C". Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for regulating emerging channels? Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the concept of super-B2B2C media sourcing. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Without partnerships, you will lack solutions. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the power of media sourcing to mesh. We understand that if you exploit ultra-magnetically then you may also scale compellingly. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (someday) be able to envisioneer easily. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean?