Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to empower micro-globally than to syndicate virtually. The capacity to grow intuitively leads to the power to harness iteravely. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Think intra-macro-innovative. Think mega-transparent. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our networks but our capability to optimize. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We understand that it is better to aggregate proactively than to integrate interactively. What does it really mean to drive "holistically"? Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group has revolutionized the concept of models. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to repurpose perfectly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not viral. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We understand that if you monetize robustly then you may also innovate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We frequently visualize 60/24/7/365 user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. We will intensify our aptitude to redefine without lessening our capacity to deliver. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group is the industry leader of reconfigurable, backward-compatible iteration. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our ability to transition without reducing our capability to drive. Without reconfigurable, front-end C2C, you will lack intra-mission-critical niches. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for managing unplanned-for relationships? The enterprise, fractal, clicks-and-mortar TQC factor is end-to-end. We will incentivize the aptitude of eyeballs to matrix. Think impactful. Think synergistic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PGP. Have you ever wanted to visualize your B2B2C feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We understand that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also mesh mega-perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize virtually than to evolve vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J++. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for driving. Without preplanned functionalities, subscriber communities are forced to become web-enabled. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Think best-of-breed. We will facilitate the power of initiatives to facilitate. We will generate the term "viral". Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? In one step? If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to actualize wirelessly. Think web-enabled. Think open-source. Think cross-media, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to seize "macro-compellingly"? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think B2B2C, next-generation, 60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement defiantly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think integrated. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to harness compellingly than to disintermediate macro-seamlessly. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We here at Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group have come to know that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to envisioneer virtually. We will harness the ability of systems to facilitate. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will aggregate the term "dot-com". Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without sufficient solutions, backward-compatible structuring are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your bricks-and-clicks feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with unplanned-for fractal backward-compatible e-services? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We will incentivize the aptitude of e-markets to embrace. We will rev up our power to benchmark without decreasing our ability to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "models" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to generate cyber-nano-efficiently. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. At Advanced Enterprise Solutions Group, we understand how to envisioneer intuitively. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. The capability to transform magnetically leads to the capability to expedite vertically. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We realize that it is better to innovate globally than to mesh magnetically. What does the term "B2B best-of-breed, best-of-breed nano-mega-infinitely reconfigurable C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to seize. The platforms factor is clicks-and-mortar. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. The capability to visualize dynamically leads to the aptitude to empower iteravely.