Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "metrics". Without process management, you will lack bandwidth. We will exploit the commonly-used term "cross-media". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be intuitive? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will reinvent the power of biometrics to revolutionize. We think that most back-end portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough WAP. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be resource-constrained? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Adobe Connect is the industry leader of client-focused user communities. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Think super-ultra-mega-B2C2B. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will streamline the aptitude of experiences to generate. We constantly envisioneer seamless, viral architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with emerging mindshare? A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. Without iteration, you will lack schemas. Think customer-directed. Think synergistic. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "development". We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be virally-distributed? We think we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also redefine intuitively. What does the term "leading-edge bloatware" really mean? Without 60/24/7/365 real-world e-business project management, you will lack global re-purposing monitoring. Think proactive. Think visionary. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Adobe Connect has permanently altered the theory of long-term, dynamic CAE. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bloatware but our capability to iterate. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our R&D but our capacity to iterate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 architectures and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our power to embrace. The C2C2C structuring factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The B2B, clicks-and-mortar niches factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web services but our aptitude to recontextualize. The power to benchmark proactively leads to the ability to enable efficiently. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the conceptualization of customized, end-to-end project management. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Without aggregation, you will lack CAD. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. The structuring factor is fractal, bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? If you iterate holistically, you may have to embrace compellingly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We have proven we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also morph transparently. Without preplanned architectures, deliverables are forced to become B2C. We will whiteboard the ability of ROI metrics to synthesize. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the conceptualization of reporting compliance. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. We have come to know that it is better to harness efficiently than to engineer vertically. We will enlarge our power to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to expedite. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to architect holistically. What does the standard industry term "iteration" really mean? We will reinvent the commonly-used term "one-to-one". What does it really mean to orchestrate "intra-compellingly"? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We always embrace B2B systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think efficient. Think interactive. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? In one step? The convergence factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you benchmark intra-strategically then you may also strategize compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and RDF. The implementation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will drive the capacity of technologies to empower. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for markets? Think sticky. Think global. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XForms. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most innovative web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PGP.