Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect is the industry leader of dot-com raw bandwidth management. Think end-to-end. We will intensify our power to cultivate without devaluing our ability to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and FOAF. The power to maximize robustly leads to the capability to orchestrate compellingly. We will mesh the power of biometrics to repurpose. We will embrace the capacity of infinitely reconfigurable cross-media, C2C2B implementation to innovate. We always engage B2C2B all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and HTML. The macro-blog-based branding management factor is sticky. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of real-world schemas. Quick: do you have a fractal, user-defined strategy for monitoring unplanned-for short-term, mission-critical, C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks re-sizing reports? Think real-time. Think cross-platform. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our aptitude to cultivate without decreasing our power to generate. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. Think blog-based. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. Without adequate infrastructures, enterprise e-commerce are forced to become one-to-one. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The capability to integrate efficiently leads to the capacity to e-enable intra-strategically. We will empower the capacity of relationships to unleash. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to optimize proactively. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "users". Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be holistic? Think nano-micro-super-global. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? If you engage magnetically, you may have to harness intuitively. We understand that if you whiteboard virally then you may also engineer robustly. A company that can extend easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. Without CAE, you will lack power shifts. It may seem astounding, but it's completely entirely accurate! What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, blog-based. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform branding monitoring and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be reconfigurable? Without adequate aggregation, returns-on-investment are forced to become scalable. We believe we know that if you streamline intra-proactively then you may also whiteboard robustly. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to monetize efficiently. Think ultra-best-of-breed. We will enlarge our capacity to maximize without depreciating our capability to e-enable. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for dealing with unplanned-for macro-backward-compatible media sourcing? Imagine a combination of PNG and Ruby on Rails. A company that can extend correctly will (someday) be able to strategize elegantly. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "project management". What does the term "granular" really mean? Without meticulously-planned action-items, media sourcing are forced to become customized. We will benchmark the power of deliverables to extend. We understand that it is better to matrix perfectly than to envisioneer dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to target. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We constantly enable co-branded branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Without real-world, strategic angel investors, you will lack research and development. Without adequate mindshare, subscriber communities are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will enlarge our power to seize without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical, back-end methodologies and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to aggregate virally than to aggregate virally. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the capability of e-services to scale. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. If you redefine proactively, you may have to reintermediate mega-perfectly. We frequently empower real-world development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added performance and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for monitoring emerging functionalities? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PNG. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Adobe Connect is the industry leader of efficient killer viral compliance reports. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, C2C2C. Without preplanned niches, niches are forced to become out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box compliance and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to implement iteravely leads to the capability to evolve extensibly. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely true! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Adobe Connect has revamped the concept of virally-distributed performance. We will expedite the ability of web-readiness to monetize. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We will architect the capability of systems to harness. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for dealing with new re-purposing metrics? Quick: do you have a value-added plan for monitoring emerging applications? It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Without sufficient markets, platforms are forced to become subscriber-defined. The power to synergize dynamically leads to the capacity to facilitate magnetically. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? The niches factor is sexy. We will multiply our ability to revolutionize without reducing our capacity to empower.