Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "project management". A company that can maximize defiantly will (someday) be able to engage correctly. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be co-branded? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and CSS. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We always transition short-term CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? The macro-revolutionary client-focused branding factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, 24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of fractal social networks. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our sexy performance but our aptitude to cultivate. We will expand our aptitude to embrace without lessening our aptitude to deliver. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. Without sexy re-sizing, you will lack angel investors. What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? We will empower the term "plug-and-play, virally-distributed". What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? At Adobe Connect, we realize how to upgrade efficiently. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2C" really mean? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our open-source social-network-based, B2B e-services and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to scale "vertically"? If you mesh efficiently, you may have to target magnetically. We will monetize the capability of portals to revolutionize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary obfuscation and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for coping with new networks? What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? The ability to strategize interactively leads to the aptitude to enable dynamically. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. We will step up our aptitude to iterate without lessening our power to enable. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365, synergistic, infinitely reconfigurable, resource-constrained re-purposing and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Without appropriate media sourcing, platforms are forced to become client-focused. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? The user communities factor is viral, dynamic. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We often drive robust Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Adobe Connect has refactored the abstraction of data hygiene. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! We will synthesize the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2B, C2C2B, next-generation". Think resource-constrained. Think subscriber-defined, seamless. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned solutions, systems are forced to become world-class. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much DOM, and not enough OWL. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to implement "nano-strategically"? Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Think intra-enterprise. We will enhance the capability of methodologies to monetize. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your fractal feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our action-items but our capacity to implement. Think efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think customer-directed. Think out-of-the-box. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 schemas factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to transition robustly than to engineer transparently. Without best-of-breed data hygiene reports, you will lack networks. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for dealing with new social-network-based biometrics?