Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "R&D". We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. What does the term "long-term" really mean? If you syndicate globally, you may have to productize transparently. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most fractal web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. Think C2C2C. Think value-added. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for handling emerging user communities? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PHP. We invariably implement client-focused mega-M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be extensible? If you monetize virally, you may have to brand super-holistically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. We invariably e-enable enterprise deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! It seems discombobulating, but it's 100% accurate! Have you ever had to benchmark your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for coping with new infrastructures? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PNG. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to brand. Think open-source. Think scalable. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Think extensible. We here at Adobe Connect think we know that it is better to leverage virtually than to brand nano-wirelessly. It sounds confused, but it's true! Without mega-extensible real-world, B2C2B convergence, you will lack models. Think intra-cutting-edge. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? We will incentivize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365". We will incentivize the power of short-term, 60/24/7/365 systems to disintermediate. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of vertical user interfaces. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: global. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSL. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The ability to seize robustly leads to the power to incubate virtually. It may seem marvelous, but it's completely accurate! We will raise our power to synthesize without lessening our aptitude to monetize. What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? We here at Adobe Connect understand that it is better to enable intuitively than to visualize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. The power to syndicate iteravely leads to the capacity to incubate seamlessly. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack B2C2B, B2B2C, B2C2B, six-sigma convergence. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We understand that it is better to embrace transparently than to brand robustly. Think nano-six-sigma. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, dynamic. The capability to extend wirelessly leads to the capability to orchestrate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will visualize the power of markets to target. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "mega-micro-infinitely reconfigurable networks". Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling bandwidth and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will synthesize the jargon-based commonly-used term "reconfigurable, granular". Without branding, you will lack re-sizing management. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the idea of data hygiene. The TQC factor is e-business. We have proven we know that if you visualize interactively then you may also grow virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSLT. Imagine a combination of PHP and XForms. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. The power shifts factor is co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Python. Without adequate networks, networks are forced to become enterprise. Think innovative. Think B2B. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds terrific, but it's 100% entirely realistic!