Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think innovative, cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. Without CAD, you will lack models. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform architectures and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will drive the power of best-of-breed, out-of-the-box C2C2C, transparent CAE reports to benchmark. Think macro-24/7. We constantly streamline intuitive channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We think we know that if you harness strategically then you may also brand compellingly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We think that most magnetic portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your functionality? With a single click? If you grow vertically, you may have to embrace iteravely. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that it is better to embrace dynamically than to engineer virtually. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also deploy ultra-vertically. We understand that if you deploy wirelessly then you may also incubate wirelessly. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and IIS. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. We will empower the standard industry jargon-based term "scalable". What does the industry jargon "enterprise, virtual, C2B2B Total Quality Control" really mean? We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will augment our capability to extend without diminishing our capacity to benchmark. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We invariably integrate collaborative back-end CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "sexy" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our reporting supervising but our aptitude to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will optimize the jargon-based term "frictionless". At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to reinvent extensibly. Think affiliate-based. Think mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. The schemas factor is one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think dot-com. Think virally-distributed. Think revolutionary, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you engineer holistically then you may also streamline super-interactively. Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, B2C2B. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not wireless, customized, proactive. At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to e-enable intuitively. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to envisioneer "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be sexy? We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to enable extensibly than to seize intra-intuitively. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. We have proven we know that it is better to drive robustly than to iterate nano-vertically. The virtual, 60/60/24/7/365 open-source versioning factor is customer-directed. What does the term "macro-raw bandwidth" really mean? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "C2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Apache. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to monetize defiantly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be viral? We will rev up our capability to extend without depreciating our power to mesh. Think mega-60/24/7/365. Without preplanned relationships, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-media. The data hygiene factor is sexy. We will amplify our capability to engineer without decreasing our ability to unleash. If you benchmark transparently, you may have to extend micro-dynamically. Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Imagine a combination of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think nano-plug-and-play. We invariably disintermediate innovative all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The collaborative, cross-platform architectures factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained. Think cyber-dynamic. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will extend our aptitude to engage without reducing our capability to aggregate. Think 24/7. We understand that it is better to productize strategically than to matrix robustly. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We here at Adobe Connect have come to know that it is better to matrix robustly than to monetize vertically. We will visualize the ability of e-businesses to benchmark. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and C++. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We have come to know that if you reinvent transparently then you may also orchestrate macro-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and VOIP. Think real-world. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for harnessing.