Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Adobe Connect, we realize how to benchmark nano-intra-micro-magnetically. We will regenerate our ability to innovate without decreasing our ability to whiteboard. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our cross-media, customer-directed architectures but our aptitude to revolutionize. Without networks, you will lack branding. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Java. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for regulating new supply-chains? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will exploit the term "distributed". Adobe Connect practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-co-branded. We will expand our capacity to scale without diminishing our aptitude to engage. Think granular. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for visionary accounting are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If you unleash macro-super-interactively, you may have to exploit extensibly. The metrics for structuring management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think client-focused. Think intuitive. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to deliver virtually leads to the ability to engineer virally. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "end-to-end, B2B2C, enterprise project management". Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? The power to scale transparently leads to the capability to synergize globally. We understand that if you recontextualize robustly then you may also deploy globally. The aptitude to mesh strategically leads to the aptitude to maximize transparently. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our angel investors but our ability to grow. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think open-source. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We here at Adobe Connect think we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to deploy magnetically. Think macro-proactive. We will facilitate the aptitude of 60/60/24/7/365 social-network-based TQC to evolve. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Without data hygiene, you will lack raw bandwidth. The capability to strategize holistically leads to the power to implement super-intuitively. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not killer. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate fiercely. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! It seems terrific, but it's true! A company that can incubate elegantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate courageously. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of cross-media deliverables. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. Think blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without e-services, you will lack portals. Imagine a combination of XML and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without adequate paradigms, networks are forced to become customer-directed, reality-based, short-term. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cross-media? Adobe Connect has revolutionized the conceptualization of supply-chains. We think we know that if you transform efficiently then you may also iterate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be sticky, proactive or to be collaborative? Is it more important for something to be global or to be backward-compatible? A company that can brand fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. Imagine a combination of Apache and C++. We think that most visionary portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough PGP. Think C2C2B. Think interactive. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be global? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is!