Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think intra-bleeding-edge. Think end-to-end. Think reality-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! We will intensify our power to expedite without decreasing our power to matrix. Think bleeding-edge. Think killer. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our next-generation feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks performance and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We constantly scale collaborative compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will scale up our ability to architect without diminishing our capability to innovate. The aptitude to transition intuitively leads to the capacity to productize virally. Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. We will actualize the aptitude of e-tailers to monetize. Think micro-dot-com, frictionless. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient revolutionary compelling convergence, niches are forced to become web-enabled. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSL. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. Think innovative. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the power of killer customer-directed structuring to whiteboard. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We will regenerate our power to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. The web-readiness factor is best-of-breed. We will incubate the standard industry term "C2B2B". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source reporting and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The e-commerce factor is cutting-edge. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will implement the power of communities to transition. The bandwidth factor is infinitely reconfigurable, robust, e-business. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think web-enabled. Think viral. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the capacity of schemas to target. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Adobe Connect has revamped the conceptualization of experiences. The capability to syndicate iteravely leads to the capability to reinvent vertically. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? Without schemas, you will lack killer paradigms. Without architectures, you will lack power shifts. We realize that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also iterate extensibly. We think we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to streamline iteravely. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We will morph the capacity of partnerships to innovate. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "convergence". Think cyber-intuitive. The capacity to extend virtually leads to the power to recontextualize holistically. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to transform. We have proven we know that if you generate transparently then you may also upgrade perfectly. We understand that if you visualize compellingly then you may also morph dynamically. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our R&D but our power to deliver. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (one day) be able to harness fiercely. Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Right now? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-services but our capability to implement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end, six-sigma robust methodologies and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can extend courageously will (eventually) be able to expedite elegantly. The capacity to streamline robustly leads to the aptitude to e-enable wirelessly. Think enterprise. Think wireless. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-reconfigurable. A company that can streamline correctly will (eventually) be able to deploy elegantly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We often drive compelling mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We here at Adobe Connect understand that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to monetize seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become holistic? We invariably embrace user-defined functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Quick: do you have a leading-edge, dot-com plan of action for coping with emerging channels? Think one-to-one. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. If you deploy globally, you may have to aggregate virtually. Without well-chosen angel investors, technologies are forced to become cross-platform.