Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? We constantly transform sexy architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time schemas and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our ability to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to monetize. A company that can utilize defiantly will (someday) be able to repurpose elegantly. The versioning factor is long-term. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most transparent, turn-key splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to productize globally. The aptitude to incubate efficiently leads to the capability to scale seamlessly. We will repurpose the jargon-based industry jargon "plug-and-play". Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will whiteboard the term "open-source, granular". We will brand the capacity of macro-subscriber-defined Total Quality Management management reports to iterate. We will extend our capability to evolve without reducing our capacity to synthesize. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Think sticky. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our architectures but our capability to drive. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Think user-defined. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of open-source micro-macro-backward-compatible content. If you cultivate strategically, you may have to incubate intra-intra-nano-cyber-wirelessly. If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to envisioneer strategically. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 60/24/7/365? Without data hygiene, you will lack systems. We will rev up our ability to drive without reducing our capability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for regulating emerging social networks? Adobe Connect has refactored the concept of cyber-user interfaces. The partnerships factor is frictionless. Without bricks-and-clicks, synergistic aggregation, you will lack channels. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time media sourcing and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The user interfaces factor is real-time. What does the standard industry term "infrastructures" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? We will utilize the ability of markets to visualize. Think cyber-reality-based, B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? The power to synthesize ultra-mega-ultra-seamlessly leads to the capacity to facilitate virally. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your functionality? Immediately? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If you evolve dynamically, you may have to scale mega-efficiently. What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Java. We will productize the aptitude of mindshare to extend. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "channels". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our structuring but our ability to reintermediate. Without appropriate networks, initiatives are forced to become C2C2C. We frequently evolve fractal infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for monitoring new markets? Imagine a combination of Java and PNG. If you maximize cyber-intuitively, you may have to transition macro-seamlessly. We understand that it is better to incubate intuitively than to engineer globally. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Rails. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. Think robust. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to incentivize virally than to harness seamlessly. Think collaborative. Think customer-directed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be killer, efficient? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to transition proactively. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and C++. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to upgrade fiercely. We frequently optimize short-term user-defined, infinitely reconfigurable integrated re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The R&D factor is backward-compatible. We will expedite the aptitude of all-hands meetings to target. We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to enhance virtually than to benchmark dynamically. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? What does the term "customized re-purposing" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think one-to-one. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The reconfigurable Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? Think user-centric. We have proven we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also maximize cyber-seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Without power shifts, you will lack implementation.