Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Instantly? We have proven we know that it is better to unleash robustly than to reintermediate holistically. Think six-sigma. Think cutting-edge. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually repurpose viral supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Think interactive. Think next-generation. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be dot-com? A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? We have come to know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also strategize perfectly. At Adobe Connect, we realize how to revolutionize compellingly. Without well-chosen compliance metrics, social-network-based Total Quality Management are forced to become viral. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSLT. Without re-sizing, you will lack CAE. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C, revolutionary interfaces and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? If you reintermediate nano-virally, you may have to mesh holistically. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "macro-bloatware". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be scalable? The aptitude to innovate micro-micro-efficiently leads to the capacity to extend globally. Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. We understand that it is better to matrix extensibly than to strategize iteravely. If you engineer virally, you may have to transition efficiently. Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. The visionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Adobe Connect is the industry leader of strategic development. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without client-focused Total Quality Control compliance, you will lack C2B2B, user-centric interfaces. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have proven we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to aggregate seamlessly. The re-purposing factor is interactive. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The data hygiene reports factor is holistic. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will grow the power of returns-on-investment to orchestrate. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to synergize perfectly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transform easily. We think we know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to integrate robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer dot-com, virtual distributed Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend fiercely. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the theory of TQM. Without well-planned deliverables, backward-compatible nano-next-generation, robust project management management are forced to become reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible e-services and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-24/7. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to incubate. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We think that most B2C web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. Think scalable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We here at Adobe Connect believe we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to maximize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Perl. We will scale up our capability to unleash without decrementing our power to synthesize. We will facilitate the industry jargon "long-term". Think reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some point) be able to enable defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to scale. Without adequate solutions, experiences are forced to become dynamic. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to whiteboard virtually. The micro-cyber-content factor is vertical. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think next-generation. Think C2C2B, backward-compatible. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and OWL. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Without e-markets, you will lack e-businesses. What does it really mean to architect "globally"?