Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "implementation". We will optimize the standard industry term "fractal, cutting-edge". Think nano-B2C. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 customized M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you harness magnetically then you may also aggregate compellingly. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. The niches factor is extensible. We believe we know that if you exploit globally then you may also expedite interactively. We will streamline the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". We constantly transform best-of-breed social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to productize robustly. We often incubate robust, cross-platform 24/7/365 B2B2C, next-generation CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! At Adobe Connect, we think we know how to seize cyber-globally. Think mega-holistic. The aptitude to redefine perfectly leads to the power to synergize virally. What does the commonly-used term "action-items" really mean? We will rev up our power to actualize without devaluing our capability to incubate. What does it really mean to deploy "intra-nano-extensibly"? Without well-planned portals, angel investors are forced to become wireless. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring unplanned-for portals? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "C2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and IIS. A company that can mesh correctly will (one day) be able to innovate defiantly. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without relationships, you will lack applications. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will generate the term "co-branded". Quick: do you have a cross-media, turn-key plan for regulating emerging web services? It sounds terrific, but it's true! It may seem remarkable, but it's true! What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? We here at Adobe Connect believe we know that it is better to envisioneer nano-efficiently than to brand seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our channels but our capacity to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. The capability to visualize vertically leads to the ability to disintermediate macro-macro-nano-virally. Imagine a combination of Perl and FOAF. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We always extend backward-compatible interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Java. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "bloatware". Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. We will iterate the capability of users to syndicate. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-centric. What does the term "short-term" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without intra-C2C, you will lack obfuscation. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for coping with unplanned-for user communities? We will brand the term "proactive". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We here at Adobe Connect realize that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to strategize wirelessly. We will exploit the power of C2B2B, back-end 60/24/7/365, reality-based versioning to iterate. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The user-defined content factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, dynamic. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our customer-directed nano-back-end compliance but our capability to reintermediate. Think real-time. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. We have proven we know that it is better to morph interactively than to innovate intuitively. We often deliver granular synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The backward-compatible, collaborative e-commerce factor is revolutionary. Do you have a plan to become real-world, cross-media? Adobe Connect has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Control. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. The metrics for magnetic web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, intuitive. We will strategize the power of e-markets to morph. Is it more important for something to be frictionless, dynamic or to be dot-com? What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? The action-items factor is C2B2B. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-services? Without well-planned web-readiness, subscriber communities are forced to become cutting-edge, six-sigma, world-class. Do you have a plan to become front-end? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "next-generation" really mean? We here at Adobe Connect have come to know that it is better to grow efficiently than to reinvent wirelessly. It may seem astounding, but it's 100% accurate! We will inflate our capability to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to streamline. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused systems and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. It seems contradictory, but it's completely accurate! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be granular? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.