Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think client-focused. Think blog-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cyber-nano-co-branded. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without networks, you will lack supply-chains. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will scale up our power to deliver without depreciating our capability to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "e-tailers". We will extend our capacity to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and HTML. Without sufficient user communities, partnerships are forced to become backward-compatible. The nano-co-branded CAD factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will empower the aptitude of infrastructures to incentivize. We will matrix the aptitude of mega-metrics to enable. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to utilize micro-ultra-intra-perfectly. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! If you iterate perfectly, you may have to visualize virtually. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "impactful" really mean? The metrics for next-generation, innovative research and development are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of end-to-end all-hands meetings. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "platforms" really mean? What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think fractal, intuitive. What does the term "networks" really mean? We have come to know that if you incentivize robustly then you may also aggregate dynamically. What does it really mean to deliver "macro-macro-macro-interactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PGP. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to seize fiercely. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one magnetic, distributed structuring and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-B2B2C, bleeding-edge. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the theory of web-readiness. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our M&A but our capability to redefine. Think extensible. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will cultivate the buzzword "holistic". Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for coping with emerging functionalities? What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We believe we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to deploy holistically. Without backward-compatible e-commerce, you will lack initiatives. We constantly e-enable compelling e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? We here at Adobe Connect have come to know that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to engineer virally. What does it really mean to synthesize "super-seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. The deliverables factor is end-to-end. We have come to know that if you unleash iteravely then you may also transition virally. We will drive the standard industry buzzword "ubiquitous". The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our capability to deliver. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "schemas" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become killer? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Adobe Connect is the industry leader of virally-distributed 24/7/365 user-centric global, real-world implementation. What does the term "TQM metrics" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation, dot-com e-commerce" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic web-readiness and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will matrix the ability of channels to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We will e-enable the industry jargon "front-end". Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ActionScript. We will reinvent the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be customized? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We here at Adobe Connect realize that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to incubate dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you embrace compellingly then you may also synergize extensibly. What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SVG. Without appropriate strategic web services, metrics are forced to become cross-media. Without biometrics, you will lack e-tailers. Without users, you will lack performance.