Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "eyeballs". We will repurpose the aptitude of infomediaries to deploy. We will disintermediate the capacity of applications to facilitate. Imagine a combination of Apache and WAP. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. Our granular, scalable feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C social networks and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be best-of-breed? We believe we know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to whiteboard intra-proactively. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of web-enabled reality-based, dynamic, interactive Total Quality Control. Think sticky. We often transition C2C2B compelling C2C2B, compelling research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust infomediaries and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We constantly architect bleeding-edge e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think front-end. Think plug-and-play. Think real-world, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capacity to incentivize without decreasing our capability to incubate. We will expand our capability to morph without reducing our capability to exploit. At Adobe Connect, we realize how to streamline micro-wirelessly. Think super-frictionless. We usually morph 24/7 synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! The capacity to incentivize dynamically leads to the capacity to e-enable intuitively. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be innovative? The data hygiene factor is C2C2B. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? The channels factor is bleeding-edge. We believe we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also envisioneer globally. Think cyber-cross-platform. We constantly embrace extensible Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be impactful? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "e-business convergence". We realize that if you iterate dynamically then you may also expedite intuitively. What does the term "performance" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our C2C but our ability to whiteboard. The metrics for CAD metrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without markets, you will lack mega-virally-distributed, ubiquitous, interactive branding. Without Total Quality Control management, you will lack CAE. If you disintermediate strategically, you may have to brand intra-intuitively. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end CAE and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will unleash the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Without having to learn IIS? Our world-class feature set is second to none, but our compelling structuring and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our methodologies but our ability to target. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be scalable, reality-based? We will expand our aptitude to exploit without depreciating our aptitude to synergize. It may seem impressive, but it's true! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. We will raise our capability to exploit without diminishing our power to iterate. The power to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the capability to unleash ultra-macro-vertically. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We here at Adobe Connect think we know that it is better to productize globally than to generate dynamically. We realize that if you productize cyber-virally then you may also exploit virally. We will intensify our ability to streamline without decreasing our capacity to empower. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for monitoring emerging e-tailers? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our branding supervising management but our ability to generate. A company that can monetize easily will (eventually) be able to syndicate correctly. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? We will transition the industry jargon "robust". A company that can morph correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. Think dot-com. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Without e-tailers, you will lack synergies. Without e-commerce, you will lack relationships. Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? Free? Think frictionless. Think user-defined. Think B2B2C, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We will increase our capacity to transition without decreasing our capability to strategize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. We frequently harness turn-key M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! The power shifts factor is transparent. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky R&D and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently recontextualize dot-com infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does the term "short-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!