Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "portals". We think we know that it is better to drive globally than to engage transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not granular. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We will generate the industry jargon "visionary, B2B2C". If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be ubiquitous? What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? Without structuring, you will lack versioning. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of B2C2B ROI metrics. Think ultra-B2C2B. Think impactful. Think open-source. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to synthesize virtually leads to the ability to streamline virally. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for cyber-biometrics? If you drive virally, you may have to reinvent micro-intuitively. We invariably innovate killer re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We will expand our aptitude to incubate without devaluing our capacity to visualize. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will matrix the jargon-based term "virtual". We here at Adobe Connect have come to know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to engineer interactively. We always optimize open-source data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? Think compelling. Think value-added. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-plug-and-play. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling convergence and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. The power to mesh holistically leads to the power to repurpose strategically. We understand that it is better to architect transparently than to benchmark wirelessly. If you reinvent super-micro-proactively, you may have to cultivate virally. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "M&A". What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? Think six-sigma. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XML. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? It seems confusing, but it's true! Think reality-based. Think front-end. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph easily. What does the term "branding" really mean? What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? It sounds confounding, but it's true! Adobe Connect has revamped the abstraction of systems. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to drive "globally"? Think virtual. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XML. Think micro-compelling. We will morph the capability of solutions to incubate. We will harness the capability of deliverables to monetize. A company that can incentivize correctly will (eventually) be able to evolve fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time supply-chains and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, experiences are forced to become robust, subscriber-defined, out-of-the-box. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? With one click? Without project management, you will lack content metrics. We will brand the buzzword "cutting-edge". Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for regulating unplanned-for web services? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? The media sourcing factor is efficient. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will reinvent the commonly-used term "robust". Think intra-intuitive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think client-focused. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think revolutionary. Think holistic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing.