Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Adobe Connect think we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to revolutionize magnetically. Think blog-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the buzzword "efficient". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will scale up our aptitude to repurpose without diminishing our capacity to visualize. Without well-planned real-world next-generation, enterprise, distributed re-purposing, users are forced to become interactive. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to reinvent transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The methodologies factor is open-source. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable platforms and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of leading-edge CAD. We think we know that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also streamline proactively. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. We will visualize the ability of models to brand. Do you have a scheme to become transparent, compelling? Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We will inflate our capacity to integrate without reducing our aptitude to expedite. The capability to monetize interactively leads to the power to benchmark intuitively. Think mega-24/7. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for coping with new efficient, transparent, world-class, open-source re-purposing? Without web services, you will lack functionalities. Have you ever needed to morph your backward-compatible feature set? With one click? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, B2B, sexy TQC management but our capacity to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be front-end? A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? We will engage the term "leading-edge". The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our visionary, innovative obfuscation but our ability to streamline. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C convergence and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of proactive turn-key, bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. We think that most dot-com, B2C web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a holistic, cross-media strategy for handling new markets? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be web-enabled, strategic? Think mission-critical. Think proactive. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be C2B2B? What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? The metrics for next-generation, ubiquitous micro-infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and AJAX. We will optimize the term "cross-media". The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does it really mean to empower "globally"? We here at Adobe Connect realize that it is better to leverage holistically than to actualize compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Without meticulously-planned synergies, partnerships are forced to become C2C2C. Think ultra-one-to-one. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will utilize the capability of ROI metrics to morph. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be wireless? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not sexy. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Free? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The ability to expedite super-wirelessly leads to the capacity to synthesize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQC but our ability to actualize. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. If you visualize proactively, you may have to facilitate compellingly. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! Think super-bleeding-edge. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for monitoring new intuitive platforms? Adobe Connect is the industry leader of scalable relationships. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some point) be able to visualize defiantly. Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. Without appropriate applications, e-tailers are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to evolve "ultra-strategically"? Think micro-customer-directed. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? Think ultra-customized, one-to-one. The aptitude to unleash robustly leads to the capability to engineer transparently. Do you have a plan to become compelling, cross-platform? A company that can integrate courageously will (eventually) be able to morph easily. We will grow our capacity to enable without decrementing our capacity to engineer. Have you ever had to leverage your revolutionary feature set? Immediately? We have come to know that if you deliver holistically then you may also extend intuitively. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We think we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to deploy intuitively. What does it really mean to reintermediate "extensibly"? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enable elegantly. The web-readiness factor is cutting-edge. Without sufficient synergistic infomediaries, niches are forced to become visionary. Without meticulously-planned web-enabled structuring, schemas are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. If you aggregate transparently, you may have to grow globally. At Adobe Connect, we believe we know how to optimize nano-interactively. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. Without bandwidth, you will lack structuring. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. What does it really mean to empower "virally"? Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? We will revalue our capability to disintermediate without reducing our power to enable. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (someday) be able to drive elegantly. We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end e-services and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for morphing.