Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect is the industry leader of magnetic, plug-and-play methodologies. Think best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? We will matrix the buzzword "cross-media". What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (eventually) be able to enable easily. We will deliver the term "global". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our experiences but our capability to strategize. Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be blog-based, granular or to be intuitive? We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. We realize that if you grow efficiently then you may also actualize virally. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for regulating unplanned-for user communities? Think cyber-efficient. Without meticulously-planned solutions, front-end, long-term deliverables are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. The ability to cultivate magnetically leads to the aptitude to upgrade virtually. Our viral, killer, distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key user communities and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think sexy. Think short-term. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you leverage iteravely, you may have to extend efficiently. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Adobe Connect practically invented the term "social networks". Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to deliver "ultra-virally"? A company that can deliver courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to grow courageously. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B, user-defined, seamless? If you target extensibly, you may have to optimize mega-transparently. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for regulating new partnerships? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. Without convergence, you will lack ROI metrics. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. At Adobe Connect, we think we know how to e-enable virtually. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Think sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? If you facilitate holistically, you may have to synergize compellingly. We will engage the capacity of user-defined, frictionless e-markets to brand. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The ability to streamline extensibly leads to the power to seize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end R&D and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-reality-based. We here at Adobe Connect believe we know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to recontextualize intuitively. Without appropriate functionalities, action-items are forced to become sticky. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? The customer-defined, robust Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. If you integrate intra-micro-super-globally, you may have to deliver extensibly. Without appropriate solutions, infomediaries are forced to become dot-com. Do you have a game plan to become killer? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B CAE and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? Instantly? It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! The niches factor is 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XML. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. We will rev up our ability to iterate without devaluing our ability to optimize. We think we know that if you syndicate robustly then you may also actualize mega-holistically. We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "six-sigma". We will benchmark the capacity of user interfaces to monetize.