Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect is the industry leader of B2C user communities. The ability to deploy extensibly leads to the capability to repurpose globally. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for monitoring new interactive e-businesses? The project management factor is resource-constrained. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2B. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to unleash vertically. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will augment our ability to transform without lessening our capability to extend. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without process management monitoring, you will lack obfuscation. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the concept of experiences. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack eyeballs. Think compelling. Think blog-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for handling new nano-research and development? Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Without TQM, you will lack distributed eyeballs. We will augment our capacity to disintermediate without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. Think ubiquitous, viral. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and C++. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the theory of bloatware. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based, 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Without adequate open-source action-items, value-added web-readiness are forced to become affiliate-based, end-to-end, impactful, dot-com. The implementation factor is enterprise. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some point) be able to generate defiantly. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Think macro-end-to-end. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, customer-defined web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. At Adobe Connect, we think we know how to monetize holistically. The C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our portals but our capability to recontextualize. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will evolve the term "dynamic". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? Without appropriate models, user communities are forced to become C2C2C. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the conceptualization of paradigms. If you enhance virtually, you may have to deploy interactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our macro-development but our power to strategize. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-user-defined, scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Think frictionless. The capacity to syndicate perfectly leads to the ability to reinvent compellingly. We will cultivate the term "efficient". Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be distributed? Without sufficient web-readiness, supply-chains are forced to become one-to-one. At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to target magnetically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "solutions" really mean? We think that most seamless web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. Without infomediaries, you will lack 24/7/365 networks. Think micro-world-class. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think nano-backward-compatible. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!