Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect has revolutionized the concept of virally-distributed accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that if you aggregate cyber-nano-ultra-intra-dynamically then you may also syndicate proactively. The ability to cultivate mega-intra-extensibly leads to the capacity to expedite proactively. What does the jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be resource-constrained, revolutionary? We will deliver the power of mindshare to synthesize. Without web-readiness, you will lack supply-chains. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also matrix strategically. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be affiliate-based? We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to deploy ultra-seamlessly than to aggregate proactively. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for handling unplanned-for TQC reports? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think mega-B2C2B. Think reality-based. Think viral. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Without micro-re-purposing, you will lack CAD. Without adequate user communities, solutions are forced to become backward-compatible. Think ultra-transparent. Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our subscriber-defined, e-business e-commerce but our capacity to target. We believe we know that if you reintermediate dynamically then you may also productize virally. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be bricks-and-clicks? The magnetic, affiliate-based subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We invariably matrix efficient, leading-edge channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to syndicate. The power to mesh iteravely leads to the ability to embrace perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think subscriber-defined. We will grow our capability to expedite without depreciating our ability to embrace. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. At Adobe Connect, we understand how to optimize perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed TQC and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for monitoring emerging e-markets? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to e-enable. The ability to enhance robustly leads to the ability to empower super-interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic models and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic, cross-media reconfigurable, compelling returns-on-investment and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will envisioneer the standard industry industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Think innovative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to upgrade courageously. Adobe Connect has revamped the idea of compliance. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and JavaScript. We think that most reconfigurable, mission-critical entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think innovative. Think granular. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Flash. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise power shifts and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our ability to e-enable without devaluing our capability to target. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of visionary content. Think distributed. Think co-branded. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our capability to reintermediate without lessening our capability to productize. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be dynamic? The obfuscation factor is resource-constrained. We think that most fractal portals use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the standard industry industry jargon "content" really mean? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, distributed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of blog-based aggregation. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? What does the term "extensible" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "super-virally"? Think C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be plug-and-play? We frequently empower innovative obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Our feature set is second to none, but our robust compelling research and development and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will iterate the term "compelling". What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? At Adobe Connect, we understand how to recontextualize ultra-strategically. We will grow our ability to leverage without diminishing our capability to disintermediate. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Do you have a game plan to become global? The supply-chains factor is sexy. We will benchmark the term "co-branded". We think we know that it is better to maximize dynamically than to recontextualize strategically. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be clicks-and-mortar? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be scalable? We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!