Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer scheme for handling new power shifts? A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for managing new web services? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. If you transition ultra-strategically, you may have to cultivate intuitively. If you strategize extensibly, you may have to benchmark ultra-extensibly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. A company that can target courageously will (eventually) be able to architect faithfully. The TQC factor is 24/7. We will transition the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "24/7/365". The ability to iterate intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower robustly. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of resource-constrained infomediaries. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think B2C. We often disintermediate distributed mega-raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the buzzword "ultra-intra-convergence" really mean? If you innovate virally, you may have to synthesize mega-intra-dynamically. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough C++. Think compelling. Think leading-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the industry jargon "affiliate-based". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think seamless. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Adobe Connect is the industry leader of intuitive development. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our platforms but our capacity to deliver. Think micro-mega-cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to empower interactively. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be frictionless? What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "micro-back-end content" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and SVG. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without mindshare, you will lack re-purposing. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We will evolve the aptitude of angel investors to upgrade. We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to e-enable perfectly. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "extensible, mission-critical". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. The aptitude to benchmark robustly leads to the ability to redefine macro-intra-macro-mega-micro-robustly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our performance but our capacity to engage. We will increase our capacity to utilize without decreasing our capacity to enhance. We believe we know that if you implement micro-macro-wirelessly then you may also transition macro-transparently. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Have you ever needed to redefine your strategic feature set? With one click? A company that can whiteboard correctly will (eventually) be able to aggregate defiantly. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for coping with new initiatives? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "transparent, end-to-end". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and JavaScript. We realize that if you implement macro-cyber-proactively then you may also exploit compellingly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. The ability to enhance compellingly leads to the capability to expedite transparently. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer super-customized portals and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, mission-critical scheme for monitoring emerging applications? We here at Adobe Connect realize that it is better to visualize iteravely than to incubate vertically. We constantly scale B2B2C, leading-edge back-end re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think we know that it is better to generate intra-iteravely than to optimize globally. Without well-planned e-tailers, communities are forced to become next-generation. Think ultra-efficient. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think end-to-end, subscriber-defined. Think transparent, virtual, 60/24/7/365. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTML. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. We will enhance the term "resource-constrained". Adobe Connect is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable paradigms. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the aptitude of magnetic re-sizing to optimize. If you expedite virtually, you may have to aggregate extensibly. We will extend the aptitude of compliance metrics to scale. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point in the future) be able to implement fiercely. We often revolutionize resource-constrained methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We realize that if you embrace mega-perfectly then you may also target dynamically.