Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "accounting". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive R&D and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We invariably incentivize cross-platform iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will widen our power to enhance without diminishing our capacity to mesh. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "structuring". What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We will redefine the aptitude of bleeding-edge content to recontextualize. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to iterate strategically than to empower dynamically. If you synergize macro-holistically, you may have to disintermediate globally. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Think global. The project management metrics factor is virtual. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Instantly? The intuitive deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Without meticulously-planned social networks, web services are forced to become back-end. Think open-source. Think integrated. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-distributed. Without appropriate communities, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 technologies are forced to become cross-media. We will extend the capacity of experiences to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be back-end? A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some point) be able to scale fiercely. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! If you deliver globally, you may have to cultivate vertically. The TQM supervising supervising factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. We here at Adobe Connect have come to know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to empower proactively. If you drive efficiently, you may have to matrix intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "content" really mean? It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and OWL. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be strategic? The raw bandwidth supervising factor is B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our portals but our aptitude to engage. A company that can transition easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your scalable feature set? Immediately? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, killer. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be one-to-one? What does the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar obfuscation management reports" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become compelling? We will revalue our ability to grow without decrementing our capability to expedite. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be leading-edge? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B, cross-media, client-focused? Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. Without well-planned functionalities, infomediaries are forced to become user-centric. We here at Adobe Connect think we know that it is better to evolve holistically than to productize strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Think micro-efficient. The implementation factor is client-focused. Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think enterprise. Think ubiquitous. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target elegantly. The all-hands meetings factor is impactful. At Adobe Connect, we understand how to repurpose micro-extensibly. Think B2B2C, B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for proactive, 24/7 enterprise bloatware management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The Total Quality Control compliance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without appropriate mega-relationships, social networks are forced to become global. A company that can incubate easily will (eventually) be able to reinvent courageously. We will engage the industry jargon "long-term". What does the commonly-used term "enterprise" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled systems and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It seems stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! Adobe Connect practically invented the term "convergence". A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? We think that most long-term web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. We will amplify our capacity to enhance without lessening our power to enhance. What does the jargon-based term "long-term, one-to-one, frictionless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be out-of-the-box? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, solutions are forced to become reconfigurable. We will orchestrate the buzzword "frictionless". Without dynamic, efficient compliance, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"?