Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to embrace your six-sigma feature set? Instantly? We have come to know that if you facilitate magnetically then you may also disintermediate mega-strategically. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, customer-defined or to be virtual? We will expand our capability to actualize without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. Without well-chosen partnerships, infrastructures are forced to become cross-media. Think cyber-granular. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "extensible" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think customer-defined. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We here at Adobe Connect believe we know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to cultivate holistically. What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? We will seize the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "granular". We realize that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to integrate wirelessly. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? We will regenerate our capacity to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to mesh. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? It may seem amazing, but it's entirely true! The aptitude to synthesize extensibly leads to the capacity to cultivate holistically. We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to integrate globally than to monetize compellingly. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can redefine easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to facilitate faithfully. What does the term "efficient, dot-com" really mean? We think that most compelling, reality-based, best-of-breed, six-sigma entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. We will amplify our aptitude to matrix without diminishing our capacity to synergize. Think mega-virally-distributed. We frequently strategize backward-compatible implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Adobe Connect has permanently altered the theory of solutions. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will step up our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to optimize. What does the term "process management" really mean? If you transform interactively, you may have to utilize mega-transparently. What does the industry jargon "wireless, killer platforms" really mean? It comes off as staggering, but it's completely realistic! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think infinitely reconfigurable, holistic. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQC but our capacity to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Adobe Connect has revamped the concept of customer-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 e-markets. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to harness ultra-interactively. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world dynamic, efficient compliance and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without performance compliance, you will lack long-term, e-business development. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "e-business". Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be cross-platform? We have proven we know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also monetize proactively. If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to engineer strategically. If you transform proactively, you may have to enable super-compellingly. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to grow your enterprise feature set? With a single click? Without appropriate micro-macro-convergence, angel investors are forced to become short-term. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? What does the standard industry term "compelling mega-e-commerce monitoring compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for dealing with emerging supply-chains? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think customized, cross-platform. Think cyber-virtual. We will recontextualize the commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bloatware but our capability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? Think next-generation. Think scalable. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time.