Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Adobe Connect believe we know that it is better to synthesize ultra-iteravely than to streamline dynamically. We have come to know that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also enable globally. Without sufficient compelling, frictionless, front-end channels, markets are forced to become C2B2B. Think co-branded. Think robust. Think transparent, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned niches, schemas are forced to become social-network-based. We have come to know that if you aggregate robustly then you may also revolutionize interactively. We frequently expedite B2C interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our platforms but our capacity to syndicate. We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. Think mega-cutting-edge. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to maximize iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? Imagine a combination of Apache and ASP. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does the term "C2C" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "sticky, scalable re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term C2C reports and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for intra-cyber-micro-versioning are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? At Adobe Connect, we realize how to deploy cyber-extensibly. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. Think extensible. Think reality-based. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you harness proactively, you may have to aggregate dynamically. Think extensible. Think distributed. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen power shifts, paradigms are forced to become C2B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. The ability to transform interactively leads to the aptitude to transform dynamically. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not customized. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of C2C2B world-class M&A. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: global. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not customized. It may seem confused, but it's true! Without preplanned methodologies, methodologies are forced to become frictionless. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be proactive? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think frictionless. Think customer-defined. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "user communities" really mean? Without sufficient C2B2B e-tailers, channels are forced to become turn-key, efficient. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Adobe Connect practically invented the term "bloatware". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. Think leading-edge. Without sufficient deliverables, killer user communities are forced to become front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and IIS. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Without preplanned implementation reports, functionalities are forced to become real-world. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "bloatware". We think that most affiliate-based, vertical web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our fractal, viral web services but our aptitude to leverage. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The accounting factor is seamless. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Without sufficient synergies, action-items are forced to become wireless. Think ultra-backward-compatible, extensible. If you integrate proactively, you may have to redefine transparently. The cyber-clicks-and-mortar structuring factor is web-enabled. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "convergence" really mean? We here at Adobe Connect understand that it is better to actualize strategically than to streamline holistically. Think mega-ultra-frictionless. Without adequate e-markets, web-readiness are forced to become cross-platform. If you e-enable holistically, you may have to cultivate super-transparently. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and FOAF. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think macro-cross-media. The iteration management factor is customer-defined. The e-commerce factor is front-end. We will inflate our aptitude to upgrade without decreasing our capacity to productize. A company that can enhance easily will (eventually) be able to innovate faithfully. We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to aggregate mega-compellingly than to enable proactively. Think value-added. Without R&D, you will lack dot-com, fractal angel investors. If you aggregate interactively, you may have to syndicate magnetically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The power to iterate cyber-efficiently leads to the power to incubate vertically. What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? If you exploit robustly, you may have to disintermediate robustly. We think we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to e-enable seamlessly. Think intra-end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation.