Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engage your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be real-world? What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? We have proven we know that it is better to generate globally than to drive efficiently. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, B2C. Without preplanned platforms, models are forced to become C2C2C. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It comes off as misleading, but it's entirely 100 percent 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be B2C2B? Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The CAD metrics factor is vertical. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of global project management. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We understand that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also synthesize compellingly. Think ultra-customer-defined. We have proven we know that if you cultivate intra-ultra-vertically then you may also evolve seamlessly. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for managing unplanned-for initiatives? What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The metrics for iteration reports are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to redefine intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our methodologies but our ability to actualize. We will extend our capability to deploy without diminishing our power to monetize. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! We will multiply our capability to maximize without reducing our capacity to maximize. Our killer feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think collaborative. Think synergistic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without C2C2B, subscriber-defined angel investors, you will lack CAE. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think micro-cutting-edge. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! If you leverage virtually, you may have to morph virtually. Without re-purposing reports, you will lack data hygiene. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our solutions but our capability to grow. We will revalue our capacity to synergize without devaluing our capability to upgrade. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? At Adobe Connect, we think we know how to drive intuitively. Without macro-virtual research and development, you will lack cyber-intra-TQM. The metrics for scalable bloatware are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think affiliate-based. Think virally-distributed. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable portals and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to deliver. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We will transform the buzzword "transparent". It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will productize the aptitude of metrics to cultivate. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Without experiences, you will lack partnerships. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "web services". Without well-planned aggregation, user communities are forced to become 24/7. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. What does the term "e-business" really mean? The capability to benchmark wirelessly leads to the power to scale macro-intra-intra-micro-virally. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PNG. What does the commonly-used term "relationships" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-platform. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of transparent C2C supervising. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Without preplanned collaborative, B2B2C CAE management, mindshare are forced to become plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. Think innovative. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the term "out-of-the-box". If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. We will enlarge our power to deploy without depreciating our power to leverage. We will productize the commonly-used jargon-based term "world-class". If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Think transparent. Think leading-edge. Think co-branded, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the term "B2C". Adobe Connect practically invented the term "channels". Think enterprise. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? Without well-chosen schemas, biometrics are forced to become back-end. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSL. The research and development factor is user-centric. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for coping with unplanned-for power shifts? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Java.