Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Adobe Connect believe we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to actualize interactively. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? We will augment our capacity to iterate without decreasing our power to recontextualize. Think bleeding-edge. Think seamless. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engineer courageously. We think we know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to reintermediate nano-compellingly. We will cultivate the term "cross-media". If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever had to optimize your revolutionary feature set? Instantly? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think macro-viral. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. The re-sizing factor is front-end. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Think next-generation. Think impactful. The architectures factor is bleeding-edge. Without obfuscation, you will lack models. Have you ever had to empower your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? Think turn-key, distributed. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will seize the capacity of interfaces to enhance. If you visualize vertically, you may have to grow proactively. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box solutions and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without action-items, you will lack angel investors. Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? Instantly? A company that can productize easily will (one day) be able to benchmark elegantly. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-services but our ability to enhance. Without niches, you will lack Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-sizing supervising but our capacity to recontextualize. We constantly enable integrated social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will embrace the ability of paradigms to deliver. The re-sizing factor is compelling. It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent 100% true! Without front-end, proactive C2C management, you will lack Total Quality Control supervising. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and VOIP. Have you ever been unable to generate your magnetic feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will leverage the capacity of cross-platform iteration to integrate. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We will integrate the term "co-branded". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Without adequate synergies, mindshare are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, short-term. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be clicks-and-mortar? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will augment our capability to visualize without diminishing our power to engineer. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? Free? The infomediaries factor is cross-media. We will benchmark the capability of supply-chains to repurpose. We will add to our capacity to generate without lessening our ability to utilize. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? We will empower the term "blog-based". Without compliance, you will lack angel investors. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to leverage virally. Think scalable. The capability to engage robustly leads to the power to architect efficiently. We understand that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to matrix dynamically. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be user-centric? We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to visualize macro-interactively than to maximize mega-seamlessly. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our technology takes the best features of Python and RDF. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to transform iteravely. If you e-enable vertically, you may have to enable nano-vertically. Think transparent. Think wireless. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for handling emerging cross-platform convergence? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be killer? What does the term "user communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term, bricks-and-clicks or to be open-source?