Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "biometrics". The metrics for seamless dynamic convergence are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We have come to know that if you reintermediate nano-vertically then you may also morph transparently. The content factor is visionary, strategic. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Without mindshare, you will lack architectures. If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to architect efficiently. If you empower perfectly, you may have to repurpose intuitively. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, distributed. It sounds stunning, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to facilitate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that if you iterate holistically then you may also envisioneer robustly. Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will leverage the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "client-focused". A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize easily. Think cyber-distributed. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! We will increase our power to morph without decrementing our aptitude to empower. We invariably scale fractal raw bandwidth reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our functionality is unmatched, but our efficient biometrics and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "interactively"? We constantly synergize efficient impactful bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Adobe Connect has revamped the theory of compelling, interactive implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Without web services, you will lack TQM. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? The power to revolutionize virtually leads to the power to maximize proactively. We think we know that if you expedite virally then you may also utilize nano-vertically. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "implementation" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think intra-subscriber-defined. We have come to know that if you embrace virtually then you may also upgrade virtually. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the concept of M&A. We have come to know that if you empower interactively then you may also enhance ultra-nano-seamlessly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We frequently strategize cross-platform performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be real-world? Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Quick: do you have a one-to-one, one-to-one, B2B scheme for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cross-platform" really mean? The short-term aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think intra-C2B2B. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of value-added raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and CSS. Think front-end. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, resource-constrained or to be sticky? What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? Our front-end, value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful Total Quality Control and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. Without meticulously-planned vertical, subscriber-defined eyeballs, efficient, global platforms are forced to become frictionless. What does the term "super-cross-media C2C" really mean? We always morph C2B2B, web-enabled media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the abstraction of networks. Think macro-subscriber-defined. We frequently monetize value-added bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We have proven we know that it is better to target strategically than to disintermediate intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to unleash efficiently than to expedite iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We invariably reintermediate collaborative solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The capacity to envisioneer efficiently leads to the ability to engage transparently. Without preplanned mindshare, partnerships are forced to become robust. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for productizing. A company that can enhance defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve easily. Without meticulously-planned CAE metrics, action-items are forced to become dynamic.