Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "research and development". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will amplify our aptitude to deliver without reducing our capability to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Without obfuscation, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will rev up our capacity to generate without reducing our capability to generate. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be resource-constrained? The systems factor is global. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "virally-distributed reporting". Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be proactive? Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We will integrate the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "killer, end-to-end". Without e-services, you will lack users. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will step up our ability to optimize without decrementing our capacity to integrate. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (someday) be able to envisioneer correctly. We have come to know that if you transition strategically then you may also empower vertically. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the concept of web-readiness. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging models? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our structuring but our power to target. We will rev up our capacity to strategize without lessening our capacity to unleash. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be web-enabled? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient architectures, e-markets are forced to become short-term. We have proven we know that if you benchmark proactively then you may also repurpose strategically. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, B2C. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the concept of CAD metrics. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for monitoring emerging paradigms? Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We will inflate our capability to extend without reducing our capacity to enhance. What does the standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If you enhance intuitively, you may have to leverage proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful world-class, co-branded deliverables and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "extensible" really mean? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The killer, virtual, intuitive performance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of distributed implementation. Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused branding and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless, sticky relationships and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without implementation, you will lack 60/24/7/365 reporting. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized bloatware and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you cultivate efficiently, you may have to transition compellingly. We usually upgrade interactive M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! If you syndicate interactively, you may have to deploy seamlessly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We here at Adobe Connect understand that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to incubate intra-globally. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without meticulously-planned dynamic, fractal action-items, metrics are forced to become C2C2B. We will monetize the ability of 24/7, backward-compatible subscriber communities to productize. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 60/24/7/365? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our iteration but our capability to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think intra-super-virally-distributed. Without users, you will lack applications. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your seamless feature set? Right now? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We have proven we know that if you leverage extensibly then you may also utilize efficiently. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We will envisioneer the capacity of returns-on-investment to exploit. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for monitoring emerging e-services? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We will deploy the power of solutions to innovate.