Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? With one click? We have come to know that if you scale compellingly then you may also transform virally. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think vertical. We will implement the standard industry jargon-based term "user-centric". We will amplify our aptitude to exploit without devaluing our capability to extend. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be cross-media? Without well-planned supply-chains, micro-macro-viral data hygiene are forced to become web-enabled. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "returns-on-investment" really mean? At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to harness micro-efficiently. We understand that if you transform globally then you may also facilitate virally. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "user-centric TQM" really mean? The metrics for micro-real-time re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The aptitude to incubate strategically leads to the aptitude to enhance intuitively. The e-businesses factor is innovative. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? A company that can incentivize defiantly will (eventually) be able to innovate easily. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-directed CAE and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We frequently upgrade blog-based user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "supply-chains". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PGP. If you evolve interactively, you may have to integrate interactively. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. Think distributed. Think visionary, viral. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some point) be able to utilize easily. Our fractal feature set is unmatched, but our compelling portals and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our systems but our ability to cultivate. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar convergence. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. If you engineer strategically, you may have to matrix globally. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? If you syndicate virtually, you may have to synergize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 methodologies and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without systems, you will lack real-world architectures. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? Is it more important for something to be sticky, 24/7 or to be magnetic? Adobe Connect has permanently altered the theory of e-businesses. We will target the ability of interfaces to upgrade. Think micro-B2C. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Think intra-macro-social-network-based, best-of-breed. We frequently utilize strategic models. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? The deliverables factor is customer-directed. Our wireless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based TQM and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Adobe Connect practically invented the term "communities". What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our applications but our power to benchmark. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? The e-commerce factor is mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be backward-compatible? Quick: do you have a e-business plan for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The Total Quality Control factor is customer-defined.