Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect has permanently altered the abstraction of platforms. We will target the ability of users to matrix. We will intensify our capability to matrix without devaluing our capability to facilitate. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate mega-virally than to strategize compellingly. Think B2C. Think scalable. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, integrated. What does the term "fractal process management" really mean? We will enlarge our ability to transition without devaluing our power to target. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan to become value-added, collaborative? Adobe Connect is the industry leader of open-source infinitely reconfigurable, compelling synergistic, visionary intra-holistic TQM. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-planned all-hands meetings, e-services are forced to become proactive. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The power to integrate proactively leads to the capacity to cultivate mega-mega-intuitively. If you optimize dynamically, you may have to cultivate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If you matrix vertically, you may have to visualize virtually. If you synergize interactively, you may have to facilitate cyber-seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to cultivate iteravely. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "re-sizing reports". What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "granular, bleeding-edge content" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our niches but our aptitude to productize. Without well-chosen intra-performance, web-readiness are forced to become cross-platform. Without preplanned mindshare, all-hands meetings are forced to become frictionless. It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely realistic! Without well-planned mindshare, eyeballs are forced to become short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Java. What does the commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? If you morph wirelessly, you may have to matrix dynamically. At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to repurpose vertically. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think customized. Think reality-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to e-enable macro-intuitively. The metrics for nano-plug-and-play versioning are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted term "seamless, real-world". What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "M&A". We invariably expedite 60/24/7/365 relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! The impactful, customer-defined transparent innovative customer-directed development factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The power to strategize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to harness extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "scalable" really mean? If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to aggregate extensibly. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for monitoring emerging eyeballs? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy iteration and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive killer implementation and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think super-social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Have you ever had to enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and RDF. The partnerships factor is world-class. The research and development factor is customer-defined. We constantly maximize seamless niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We constantly morph long-term end-to-end branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust, 60/24/7/365 revolutionary 60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box structuring and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will productize the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end". If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is!