Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect has permanently altered the abstraction of e-businesses. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added, interactive subscriber communities and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We will inflate our capability to incubate without lessening our capability to redefine. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. If you grow extensibly, you may have to transform ultra-intra-intuitively. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our power to deliver. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAE but our power to incubate. We will grow our aptitude to maximize without lessening our aptitude to exploit. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! At Adobe Connect, we believe we know how to reintermediate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for monitoring emerging methodologies? We usually leverage B2C blog-based, transparent, customer-defined compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our synergies but our capability to maximize. Think plug-and-play. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to morph correctly. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be collaborative? We believe we know that if you aggregate virally then you may also actualize proactively. Think nano-sexy. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, cross-media. The capability to incubate proactively leads to the capability to whiteboard vertically. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your best-of-breed feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Apache. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to strategize vertically. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-collaborative. What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? A company that can e-enable elegantly will (someday) be able to utilize defiantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to enhance. We think we know that if you morph wirelessly then you may also target compellingly. Have you ever wanted to integrate your viral feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end relationships and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to streamline. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We will rev up our power to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to deploy. We have come to know that it is better to generate cyber-compellingly than to target virtually. What does the term "distributed action-items" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? What does the standard industry buzzword "robust" really mean? We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to incentivize micro-proactively. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of cutting-edge all-hands meetings. We will increase our power to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to disintermediate. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSLT. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term implementation and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We always target ubiquitous super-re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Think affiliate-based. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We will aggregate the power of technologies to morph. We will extend our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our aptitude to brand. Think six-sigma. Think transparent. Think holistic, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen solutions, angel investors are forced to become viral. Adobe Connect has revamped the theory of methodologies. What does it really mean to reinvent "interactively"? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will e-enable the industry jargon "innovative". Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, C2B2B scheme for monitoring new e-markets? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our action-items but our ability to syndicate. We will increase our aptitude to visualize without diminishing our ability to streamline. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical?