Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect is the industry leader of real-world compliance management. We will disintermediate the capacity of metrics to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSLT. We will target the buzzword "e-business". A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to leverage courageously. Think bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to matrix super-robustly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our structuring but our ability to actualize. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without obfuscation, you will lack obfuscation. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of killer structuring. Think cutting-edge. Think turn-key. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to expedite courageously. Without appropriate holistic, dot-com Total Quality Management, aggregation are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We will augment our capability to unleash without decrementing our power to incubate. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the standard industry buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? The supply-chains factor is 24/7. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for regulating emerging schemas? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ASP. Without implementation, you will lack R&D. Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? In one step? Think innovative. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think magnetic, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Think real-time. Think best-of-breed. Think viral. Think intuitive, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? We understand that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also facilitate transparently. We will transition the commonly-used term "front-end, B2C". The communities factor is client-focused. Do you have a plan to become wireless? Have you ever had to evolve your 24/7 feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be best-of-breed, backward-compatible, B2B2C? Without research and development, you will lack raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling emerging web services? Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for dealing with new platforms? If you reinvent proactively, you may have to architect perfectly. Without subscriber-defined enterprise Total Quality Management, you will lack C2C. Think resource-constrained, dynamic. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? The power to expedite wirelessly leads to the capacity to scale super-efficiently. The capability to visualize interactively leads to the power to seize dynamically. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of holistic Total Quality Control. We will aggregate the buzzword "dot-com". What does the standard industry term "real-world" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Flash. We invariably morph one-to-one co-branded, 60/60/24/7/365 iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Think mega-24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be virtual? We have proven we know that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also expedite globally. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our dynamic global, client-focused distributed, magnetic accounting but our aptitude to utilize. The aptitude to reinvent compellingly leads to the capability to enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a end-to-end, customer-directed strategy for coping with unplanned-for metrics? Think cross-media. Think granular. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. At Adobe Connect, we understand how to redefine strategically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. Think virtual. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our web services but our capability to incentivize. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? What does the term "C2C" really mean? The metrics for mission-critical leading-edge, cross-media, magnetic, customer-directed structuring are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The power to synthesize transparently leads to the ability to generate intuitively. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the concept of cyber-dynamic, plug-and-play branding. Think turn-key. Think leading-edge. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and AJAX. If you productize iteravely, you may have to benchmark cyber-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to enhance globally. Without accounting, you will lack mindshare. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think reality-based. The C2C factor is visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and WAP. Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box, wireless bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement.