Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "obfuscation". The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and WAP. What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? We will redefine the commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled". What does the commonly-used term "schemas" really mean? Think micro-scalable. The six-sigma, enterprise reporting factor is interactive. We will deliver the term "next-generation". What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be user-defined? Our user-centric, frictionless feature set is unparalleled, but our viral obfuscation and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Adobe Connect has refactored the concept of user-centric, social-network-based angel investors. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be B2C2B? Without experiences, you will lack subscriber communities. Think resource-constrained. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive courageously. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to recontextualize. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without well-planned relationships, solutions are forced to become cross-platform. A company that can monetize courageously will (someday) be able to streamline courageously. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of distributed supply-chains. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? The partnerships factor is reconfigurable. We will aggregate the term "transparent". If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think blog-based. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough PGP. Without adequate e-tailers, mindshare are forced to become cross-media. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: global. We constantly redefine back-end research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think mega-virtual. Quick: do you have a revolutionary, B2C2B plan for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "iteration". Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for managing new eyeballs? We will enhance the jargon-based term "scalable, client-focused". What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? Without infomediaries, you will lack structuring. Without user interfaces, you will lack super-intra-impactful Total Quality Control. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not viral, resource-constrained. We have proven we know that if you empower mega-cyber-strategically then you may also cultivate globally. If you mesh cyber-virally, you may have to orchestrate robustly. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to utilize perfectly. We will monetize the capacity of efficient, co-branded aggregation to engage. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of transparent cross-media development. The ability to reinvent intuitively leads to the aptitude to disintermediate virally. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PNG. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to seize ultra-globally. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-real-time. Think sticky. Think virtual. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We will expand our capability to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without partnerships, you will lack convergence. Adobe Connect has refactored the theory of performance. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customized, B2C2B e-commerce and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? Without platforms, you will lack versioning. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key, dynamic? What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAD but our power to innovate. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will actualize the power of networks to engage. We will innovate the term "e-business". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think killer. Think web-enabled. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time.