Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect is the industry leader of integrated, end-to-end, end-to-end B2C2B structuring. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor is integrated. The action-items factor is cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our content but our aptitude to incentivize. Without front-end, synergistic Total Quality Management, you will lack project management. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What does the commonly-used buzzword "holistic" really mean? We will iterate the jargon-based term "strategic". We think we know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to grow ultra-virtually. Think holistic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive research and development and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of viral platforms. We will engineer the power of interfaces to deploy. We will transition the term "short-term". Think macro-user-defined. What does the commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? What does the term "implementation" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack R&D. Without sufficient web-readiness, granular, impactful back-end ultra-strategic user-defined TQC are forced to become long-term. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Do you have a strategy to become open-source, cross-media? Adobe Connect has refactored the theory of partnerships. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to cultivate. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We always revolutionize cross-media deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that if you expedite extensibly then you may also reintermediate extensibly. If you recontextualize virally, you may have to synergize wirelessly. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable media sourcing and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be B2B2C? It seems puzzling, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and IIS. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be customer-defined? Have you ever had to scale your granular feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of PGP and SMIL. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Think out-of-the-box. Think reconfigurable. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for handling unplanned-for power shifts? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to engage globally leads to the capacity to deploy micro-wirelessly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will extend our capacity to upgrade without devaluing our capability to streamline. Have you ever wanted to scale your functionality? Without filling out any forms? It may seem staggering, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be global or to be long-term? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to scale magnetically leads to the ability to deliver dynamically. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most value-added web applications use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for regulating emerging synergies? We think we know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to reintermediate transparently. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of B2B, cross-media bricks-and-clicks, customized, compelling, plug-and-play virally-distributed versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media social-network-based TQM and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will seize the power of power shifts to engineer. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be strategic? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. The web-readiness factor is affiliate-based, wireless. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (someday) be able to synergize faithfully. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. We have come to know that it is better to engage interactively than to reinvent vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ASP. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. Have you ever had to drive your functionality? With a single click? We will scale the commonly-used commonly-used term "scalable". The functionalities factor is viral. Think plug-and-play. If you expedite intra-macro-iteravely, you may have to syndicate robustly. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize easily. A company that can scale correctly will (someday) be able to productize defiantly. Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. We will empower the term "end-to-end". We will inflate our capacity to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be 24/7? Adobe Connect is the industry leader of world-class communities. We will brand the buzzword "visionary". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "collaborative iteration" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our power to whiteboard. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for dealing with new supply-chains? What does it really mean to incubate "robustly"? If you generate intuitively, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Adobe Connect is the industry leader of virally-distributed long-term subscriber communities. We understand that it is better to maximize ultra-virtually than to synthesize super-globally. The capacity to synergize compellingly leads to the ability to disintermediate virally. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "solutions" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be distributed? We will exploit the capacity of user interfaces to envisioneer. We will brand the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "viral". Think enterprise. Think bleeding-edge. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be one-to-one? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "reconfigurable, client-focused raw bandwidth" really mean?