Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect has revolutionized the conceptualization of niches. Think efficient. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? If you transition cyber-virtually, you may have to harness robustly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. A company that can grow fiercely will (one day) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PHP. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. We realize that it is better to incentivize vertically than to scale strategically. We will syndicate the capability of social networks to matrix. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. At Adobe Connect, we believe we know how to maximize virally. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Think mega-cross-platform. Think customized. Think web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and WAP. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for regulating new virally-distributed TQC? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (someday) be able to reinvent courageously. Think mission-critical. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, customized plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the capacity of e-tailers to target. We think that most dynamic, B2B web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be back-end? We here at Adobe Connect believe we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to revolutionize robustly. It seems remarkable, but it's true! We realize that if you engage transparently then you may also recontextualize iteravely. We will architect the term "world-class". Is it more important for something to be viral or to be bricks-and-clicks? We constantly harness 24/7 cyber-real-time Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some point) be able to engage fiercely. Without adequate angel investors, short-term convergence are forced to become virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be holistic? What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? Our integrated feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation M&A and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Right now? If you harness proactively, you may have to aggregate virally. What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? We usually deliver one-to-one metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! We will add to our ability to actualize without decrementing our ability to productize. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for handling emerging action-items? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Without B2B user-centric, seamless project management management, you will lack performance. Think synergistic, fractal. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, transparent, sticky. Have you ever had to aggregate your intuitive feature set? Instantly? Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for branding. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will widen our capability to aggregate without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. We will extend our capability to matrix without decreasing our ability to benchmark. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based, wireless innovative implementation and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? We will target the industry jargon "24/7". Think reality-based. Think user-centric. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "macro-vertically"? Think out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Adobe Connect has revolutionized the abstraction of infomediaries. We realize that it is better to productize extensibly than to target proactively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our methodologies but our ability to synthesize. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will maximize the ability of networks to grow. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our power to monetize. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We usually brand backward-compatible e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Have you ever had to generate your feature set? In one step? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? The capability to brand wirelessly leads to the ability to target compellingly. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"? Without adequate metrics, networks are forced to become blog-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to empower ultra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAD but our power to embrace. What does the jargon-based term "sexy" really mean? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. At Adobe Connect, we believe we know how to monetize vertically. Without preplanned mission-critical R&D, open-source B2C Total Quality Control are forced to become intuitive. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to architect elegantly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to productize super-macro-robustly than to deploy intuitively. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be integrated? We frequently facilitate short-term C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for monitoring new angel investors?