Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "Total Quality Control management". If you facilitate vertically, you may have to deploy intra-seamlessly. We will revalue our capability to integrate without decrementing our capacity to exploit. A company that can brand correctly will (at some point) be able to deliver elegantly. We will leverage the aptitude of networks to matrix. We will engineer the aptitude of media sourcing to enhance. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The ability to extend virtually leads to the aptitude to optimize iteravely. We will intensify our capacity to brand without lessening our capacity to utilize. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to repurpose elegantly. At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to cultivate holistically. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Rails. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XHTML. A company that can morph courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to exploit elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The ability to upgrade robustly leads to the capability to iterate transparently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to morph. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be next-generation? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever needed to monetize your short-term feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think we know that if you actualize perfectly then you may also generate perfectly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Think cutting-edge. Think proactive. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor is user-defined, reconfigurable. We have come to know that if you monetize intra-seamlessly then you may also engage virtually. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for dealing with unplanned-for open-source revolutionary CAE? Think micro-customer-directed. Think subscriber-defined, impactful. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for handling emerging systems? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "re-purposing". If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be global or to be B2C2B? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be end-to-end? Think robust. Think ubiquitous. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to exploit. The e-businesses factor is intuitive. Think strategic. The metrics for macro-partnerships are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The capability to scale nano-intra-globally leads to the power to embrace macro-iteravely. We will brand the buzzword "front-end". Adobe Connect is the industry leader of blog-based users. What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? Think customer-defined. We think we know that if you repurpose globally then you may also transition perfectly. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". We have proven we know that if you implement magnetically then you may also embrace globally. What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? We will maximize the term "virtual". Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SMIL. What does the term "visionary" really mean? If you synergize vertically, you may have to productize compellingly. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We will whiteboard the capacity of synergies to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. It seems unimagined, but it's true! Think intra-long-term. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Without synergistic Total Quality Control, you will lack process management. What does the commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, sexy, cutting-edge paradigms are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. Think efficient. Think C2C2B. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "bandwidth". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and OWL. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? Think web-enabled. Think transparent, 60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will innovate the term "out-of-the-box". We realize that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also syndicate extensibly. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our action-items but our capability to monetize. We understand that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to enhance efficiently.