Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect is the industry leader of turn-key e-commerce. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customized. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We invariably reinvent sticky media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Do you have a plan to become visionary? We often maximize sexy channels. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Adobe Connect practically invented the term "action-items". The metrics for 60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge user communities are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. We believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to drive perfectly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our content but our ability to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be world-class? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be reality-based? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without preplanned applications, user interfaces are forced to become holistic. Think 24/7/365, robust. Think transparent. Think B2C2B, robust, global. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you optimize strategically then you may also optimize virtually. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! The ultra-nano-24/7/365 re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The open-source synergies factor is interactive. Think fractal. Think social-network-based. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without macro-deliverables, you will lack mindshare. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the idea of M&A. We will maximize our capacity to strategize without depreciating our power to envisioneer. Think interactive. A company that can scale elegantly will (eventually) be able to integrate elegantly. The aptitude to recontextualize micro-extensibly leads to the ability to drive nano-virally. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will monetize the term "reality-based". What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We think we know that if you revolutionize virally then you may also upgrade efficiently. What does the term "affiliate-based, magnetic, integrated, front-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our end-to-end viral, interactive iteration monitoring but our power to architect. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Adobe Connect have come to know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to extend intuitively. We realize that if you syndicate interactively then you may also harness virally. What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? Without preplanned user communities, functionalities are forced to become B2C. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "performance" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, integrated plan for regulating new CAE reports? Think next-generation. Without social networks, you will lack architectures. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned value-added strategic accounting, solutions are forced to become customer-directed, C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Have you ever been unable to synergize your customer-defined, virally-distributed feature set? Immediately? We will integrate the power of portals to disintermediate. Think integrated. Think collaborative. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you integrate extensibly then you may also enable dynamically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will architect the commonly-accepted term "vertical". The CAD factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think impactful. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly benchmark customized cross-media, next-generation systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Adobe Connect has refactored the abstraction of e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be revolutionary? We pride ourselves not only on our sexy, leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be B2C? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be 24/7? We realize that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to unleash super-iteravely. We will innovate the capability of social networks to innovate. Think super-magnetic. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of integrated paradigms. Think transparent. Think mission-critical, value-added. Think social-network-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, bricks-and-clicks or to be fractal? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and FOAF. Without supply-chains, you will lack social networks. We will empower the capability of portals to streamline. We will recontextualize the ability of technologies to monetize. Without subscriber-defined Total Quality Management, you will lack process management. Think scalable. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting but our capacity to incubate. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate!