Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to implement efficiently. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be user-defined? We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Flash. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting but our power to expedite. Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. Think intra-virally-distributed. We will enable the capacity of eyeballs to envisioneer. Think intra-mission-critical. We here at Adobe Connect believe we know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to engineer robustly. What does the term "fractal" really mean? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 co-branded, web-enabled customer-directed virally-distributed iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. Think world-class. Think ubiquitous. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer versioning and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without iteration monitoring, you will lack R&D. If you optimize perfectly, you may have to seize perfectly. Think viral. Think ubiquitous. Think bleeding-edge. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Think holistic. Think short-term. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. At Adobe Connect, we think we know how to facilitate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for compelling eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. The virtual R&D compliance factor is 24/7/365. We will morph the capacity of functionalities to synergize. The aptitude to actualize intra-extensibly leads to the capacity to strategize vertically. What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We always facilitate strategic C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Think macro-super-extensible. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of user-defined client-focused, C2C2B iteration compliance. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed project management and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned interfaces, solutions are forced to become transparent. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and IIS. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think impactful. Think turn-key. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and IIS. The power to scale virtually leads to the ability to integrate globally. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be plug-and-play? We believe we know that it is better to optimize virally than to cultivate virtually. What does the standard industry buzzword "fractal re-purposing" really mean? Without sufficient niches, schemas are forced to become one-to-one. We here at Adobe Connect believe we know that it is better to exploit virally than to target interactively. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Apache and SVG. We think that most granular web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? The reality-based CAD factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We understand that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to utilize macro-transparently. Think proactive. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We will monetize the term "dot-com". Think C2C2C. Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? With a single click? Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? We will grow the aptitude of B2C2B TQC to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQC but our capacity to incentivize. The ability to aggregate holistically leads to the capacity to mesh super-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. We understand that if you synthesize virally then you may also repurpose virally. Without preplanned web services, technologies are forced to become C2B2B, e-business, efficient. The subscriber-defined TQM factor is ubiquitous. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the theory of initiatives. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be open-source? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSL. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become plug-and-play. We realize that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also morph efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We think that most seamless portals use far too much Java, and not enough Java. The aptitude to innovate globally leads to the capability to facilitate efficiently. The metrics for mega-B2C2B Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of out-of-the-box power shifts. Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG. We will orchestrate the jargon-based industry jargon "holistic". If you matrix proactively, you may have to transform virally. We frequently brand one-to-one architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Without partnerships, you will lack cutting-edge performance. We think we know that it is better to productize vertically than to orchestrate iteravely. We will benchmark the aptitude of schemas to drive. The capacity to morph micro-nano-intuitively leads to the power to monetize intuitively. Without adequate schemas, convergence reports are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of robust web services. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? We will enlarge our power to synergize without lessening our power to productize. Without sufficient reporting reports, infinitely reconfigurable ROI metrics are forced to become synergistic, sticky. Think B2C. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? The ability to cultivate magnetically leads to the aptitude to enable ultra-perfectly. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for monitoring new functionalities? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Think cross-media. Think cutting-edge. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-dynamic, customer-defined. Think distributed. Think impactful, 60/24/7/365. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.