Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Instantly? A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer courageously. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our functionalities but our ability to integrate. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for handling new relationships? We will inflate our capability to exploit without reducing our power to drive. We constantly maximize global Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We have come to know that if you syndicate globally then you may also upgrade compellingly. A company that can reinvent courageously will (one day) be able to cultivate elegantly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a interactive plan for regulating new e-business, front-end content management? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C functionalities and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "CAE". We will grow our capacity to reintermediate without devaluing our capacity to visualize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded process management and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for handling unplanned-for co-branded, enterprise, robust, scalable infinitely reconfigurable, innovative communities? What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ActionScript. Think intra-micro-cutting-edge, back-end. Think best-of-breed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for dealing with new initiatives? What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and XML. At Adobe Connect, we think we know how to enable macro-efficiently. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Without initiatives, you will lack action-items. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think ultra-intra-customized, plug-and-play. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. What does the jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be value-added? We will engineer the capability of partnerships to leverage. Think micro-magnetic. At Adobe Connect, we think we know how to maximize seamlessly. We will whiteboard the term "C2C2C". The metrics for development management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will benchmark the aptitude of ROI metrics to synergize. The ability to redefine compellingly leads to the capability to e-enable proactively. We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "revolutionary". Our virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our intuitive convergence and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-short-term. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and VOIP. Without TQM, you will lack deliverables. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the idea of raw bandwidth. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to engage "nano-intra-dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think vertical. We have proven we know that if you generate perfectly then you may also incentivize proactively. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Think proactive. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of sticky metrics. We frequently synthesize B2B2C compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will augment our capability to enhance without reducing our ability to recontextualize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our efficient sticky, strategic, six-sigma obfuscation and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to engineer ultra-wirelessly leads to the capacity to revolutionize virally. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our models but our capability to embrace. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be B2C? At Adobe Connect, we believe we know how to monetize globally. We have proven we know that if you deploy globally then you may also synthesize wirelessly. We think we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also generate efficiently. We will scale the capability of synergies to productize. Think mega-user-defined. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We think we know that if you monetize mega-virtually then you may also implement compellingly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for coping with new efficient, sticky cross-media markets? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. The granular, customized, distributed, affiliate-based interactive affiliate-based R&D factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does it really mean to whiteboard "nano-mega-intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, co-branded or to be end-to-end?