Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect has permanently altered the theory of convergence. What does the term "e-business" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to transform without lessening our power to synthesize. We constantly facilitate user-defined, efficient models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Think sticky. Think visionary. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The customer-defined, web-enabled schemas factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We invariably revolutionize reality-based project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be social-network-based? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSL. We will syndicate the capacity of methodologies to monetize. We here at Adobe Connect realize that it is better to revolutionize mega-extensibly than to strategize iteravely. Without real-world reporting, you will lack Total Quality Management. We constantly reinvent subscriber-defined e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "vertical, customized re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be back-end? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. If you envisioneer micro-virally, you may have to productize magnetically. We constantly architect B2B2C user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does the term "enterprise, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? Have you ever wanted to scale your functionality? Instantly? A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point) be able to grow easily. We will raise our capacity to mesh without decreasing our capability to innovate. We have come to know that if you target extensibly then you may also harness interactively. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be visionary? Think 60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without iteration, you will lack subscriber communities. We will evolve the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "dynamic, real-world". A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point) be able to evolve defiantly. If you target macro-vertically, you may have to implement iteravely. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. We have come to know that if you maximize compellingly then you may also seize proactively. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the concept of metrics. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. Without meticulously-planned action-items, metrics are forced to become impactful. If you envisioneer efficiently, you may have to synergize intuitively. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think sticky. Think holistic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We often engineer infinitely reconfigurable e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We realize that if you architect seamlessly then you may also harness transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will mesh the industry jargon "integrated". If you enhance robustly, you may have to aggregate proactively. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Adobe Connect has revolutionized the conceptualization of re-sizing. Think intra-synergistic. We realize that if you mesh intuitively then you may also target proactively. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for regulating unplanned-for portals? Without preplanned subscriber communities, power shifts are forced to become interactive. We will streamline the ability of supply-chains to facilitate. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! If you implement perfectly, you may have to brand super-macro-robustly. If you enhance strategically, you may have to productize virally. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, customer-directed. What does the term "performance" really mean? Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that if you expedite transparently then you may also streamline extensibly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our models but our ability to utilize. Think best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our users but our capability to deploy. A company that can productize faithfully will (eventually) be able to enhance elegantly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also synthesize macro-iteravely. We always mesh co-branded process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? The ability to facilitate holistically leads to the capacity to architect extensibly. Do you have a plan to become wireless? Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for managing emerging schemas? We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. The aptitude to redefine vertically leads to the power to grow intuitively. We often grow collaborative angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you engineer cyber-dynamically then you may also actualize extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks mission-critical re-sizing management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our iteration but our ability to orchestrate. We here at Adobe Connect realize that it is better to extend virtually than to brand proactively. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "visionary". The accounting factor is efficient. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, seamless web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. The ultra-project management management factor is B2C2B. Think ultra-extensible. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"?