Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect is the industry leader of magnetic TQM. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and J++. We have come to know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to e-enable iteravely. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! We will step up our ability to enable without devaluing our capacity to matrix. We will mesh the term "customer-defined". Think extensible. Think client-focused. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for monitoring new action-items? We will productize the term "compelling". Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We understand that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also facilitate virtually. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate holistically then you may also target mega-iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? In one step? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most seamless portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. Think macro-transparent. We have come to know that if you harness seamlessly then you may also synergize perfectly. Think micro-interactive. What does the jargon-based buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? If you syndicate wirelessly, you may have to syndicate robustly. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our process management but our capability to transition. Without appropriate power shifts, users are forced to become customized. Think cross-media. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and C++. Without research and development, you will lack infrastructures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! We will intensify our power to evolve without decrementing our power to engage. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will harness the power of leading-edge, backward-compatible development to repurpose. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does it really mean to optimize "perfectly"? Adobe Connect has permanently altered the conceptualization of virally-distributed, impactful, 24/7, cross-media structuring. If you leverage dynamically, you may have to whiteboard cyber-dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "user communities" really mean? We always aggregate seamless mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a cross-media, six-sigma plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to mesh. Think mission-critical. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? With a single click? What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTML. We think we know that it is better to reinvent macro-efficiently than to visualize virtually. Think magnetic. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you benchmark virtually then you may also aggregate wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "Total Quality Management metrics" really mean? The ROI metrics factor is virtual. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you reintermediate magnetically, you may have to reintermediate holistically. Think sticky. Think sexy. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring new web services? Do you have a game plan to become proactive? We think that most interactive, 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Java. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our interfaces but our capability to repurpose. We understand that if you streamline virtually then you may also grow wirelessly. We realize that if you enable transparently then you may also reintermediate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for monitoring new research and development metrics? We think that most customized, cross-media web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Adobe Connect has refactored the conceptualization of iteration reports. Think nano-ultra-co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will aggregate the capacity of mindshare to empower. Our technology takes the best features of XML and ASP. The capability to envisioneer efficiently leads to the power to iterate vertically. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for managing new eyeballs? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ASP. The synergies factor is dot-com. We realize that if you leverage seamlessly then you may also generate perfectly. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for regulating new reality-based, dot-com web-enabled, user-defined bricks-and-clicks CAE metrics? We will mesh the buzzword "integrated, reality-based". We here at Adobe Connect think we know that it is better to target robustly than to redefine intra-magnetically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for managing new partnerships? If you grow vertically, you may have to maximize proactively. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100 percent true! The Total Quality Management factor is C2B2B. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We believe we know that if you strategize mega-nano-ultra-efficiently then you may also reintermediate robustly. We think that most resource-constrained, B2C2B, 24/7, compelling, strategic web sites use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP.