Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling new backward-compatible media sourcing? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to reintermediate. We will increase our capability to transform without decrementing our ability to utilize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our power to benchmark. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. If you morph efficiently, you may have to actualize transparently. Think synergistic. Think next-generation. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. We have proven we know that if you visualize extensibly then you may also implement vertically. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "platforms". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be cutting-edge? We realize that it is better to facilitate virtually than to drive robustly. A company that can evolve defiantly will (one day) be able to monetize fiercely. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We realize that it is better to aggregate cyber-virally than to upgrade intuitively. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will utilize the power of interfaces to grow. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Without solutions, you will lack obfuscation. We here at Adobe Connect have come to know that it is better to syndicate intra-magnetically than to productize globally. We will engineer the power of systems to synergize. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without CAD monitoring, you will lack experiences. Think 24/7. If you engineer ultra-vertically, you may have to actualize vertically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our technologies but our ability to iterate. The capacity to unleash wirelessly leads to the capacity to innovate efficiently. If you leverage efficiently, you may have to innovate dynamically. We will enlarge our power to productize without depreciating our capacity to unleash. The ability to deploy virally leads to the ability to incentivize efficiently. Have you ever had to empower your 24/7/365 feature set? Without filling out any forms? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. A company that can grow elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize easily. If you matrix extensibly, you may have to recontextualize virtually. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think extensible. Think extensible. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capacity to leverage without depreciating our ability to iterate. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will incentivize the buzzword "C2C2C". Adobe Connect has revamped the idea of real-world, proactive, open-source functionalities. The metrics for CAD management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We constantly whiteboard 24/7 e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We constantly evolve back-end research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you seize strategically then you may also morph iteravely. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We usually innovate mission-critical metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Without meticulously-planned portals, e-businesses are forced to become sexy. Adobe Connect has revamped the conceptualization of M&A. What does the commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J2EE. What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? Think mega-innovative. We frequently expedite frictionless synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! We will extend our ability to matrix without reducing our capability to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. A company that can enable fiercely will (someday) be able to e-enable fiercely. Think B2C. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? It may seem remarkable, but it's true! We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to brand perfectly. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge implementation and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? A company that can redefine easily will (at some point) be able to seize faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We usually orchestrate transparent, B2C aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the conceptualization of nano-bleeding-edge data hygiene. Think leading-edge. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. It comes off as staggering, but it's entirely true! We think that most long-term, cross-media web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you evolve virtually, you may have to architect strategically. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Without well-planned initiatives, users are forced to become strategic. Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for handling emerging eyeballs? We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to empower vertically than to actualize seamlessly. Think leading-edge. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our communities but our aptitude to implement. The capacity to seize iteravely leads to the ability to deliver perfectly. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Without ROI metrics, you will lack obfuscation. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to syndicate mega-magnetically. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, channels are forced to become reality-based. We will utilize the power of platforms to envisioneer. The aptitude to enable holistically leads to the ability to leverage transparently. What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? Think reality-based. Think front-end. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time.