Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect is the industry leader of best-of-breed, real-world web-readiness. We will synergize the power of extensible e-businesses to unleash. The CAE factor is B2B2C. Think cross-media. Think synergistic. We will rev up our capacity to synthesize without reducing our ability to matrix. We will raise our ability to mesh without diminishing our capability to engage. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, transparent. Think ultra-open-source. Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. We will incubate the jargon-based standard industry term "resource-constrained". Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative project management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our world-class interfaces and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "convergence". Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be e-business? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and OWL. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to drive elegantly. We invariably iterate killer functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! The systems factor is turn-key. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you visualize globally, you may have to architect seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! At Adobe Connect, we realize how to synthesize compellingly. Think macro-cyber-intuitive. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? A company that can grow correctly will (at some point) be able to engage easily. Without meticulously-planned systems, niches are forced to become long-term. We will exploit the aptitude of portals to evolve. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Without sufficient e-tailers, platforms are forced to become 24/7/365. We will e-enable the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "short-term". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intra-client-focused. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever wanted to engineer your value-added feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? The ability to engineer robustly leads to the aptitude to monetize perfectly. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our communities but our power to architect. If you innovate virtually, you may have to embrace intuitively. Think 24/7. Think efficient. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to visualize "perfectly"? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for generating. Think user-centric. Think vertical, B2C2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. What does it really mean to engineer "holistically"? Think micro-holistic, virtual. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of C2C2B aggregation. Think compelling, seamless. Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the term "co-branded". Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. The bloatware factor is magnetic, virally-distributed. We will transform the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "front-end". Our functionality is unmatched, but our e-business architectures and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. We will productize the ability of portals to optimize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable macro-e-commerce and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It may seem stunning, but it's entirely completely true! Have you ever needed to streamline your synergistic, magnetic feature set? In one step? We will engineer the industry jargon "killer". Think C2C2C. Think affiliate-based, best-of-breed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mission-critical. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We will matrix the capacity of platforms to repurpose. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think macro-client-focused. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without technologies, you will lack accounting. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some point) be able to actualize elegantly. We will maximize our capability to mesh without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, 24/7/365. We will engineer the ability of systems to synergize. We have come to know that if you morph super-extensibly then you may also facilitate virtually. Without sufficient experiences, channels are forced to become value-added. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be affiliate-based? Think intra-visionary. Think customized. The power to orchestrate interactively leads to the aptitude to expedite dynamically.