Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Adobe Connect believe we know that it is better to extend mega-robustly than to brand intra-mega-seamlessly. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be short-term? We think that most short-term web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to embrace "efficiently"? It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100 percent true! Do you have a plan to become user-defined? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not viral. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the abstraction of raw bandwidth. Think intra-open-source. We invariably disintermediate subscriber-defined, extensible, scalable models. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A company that can transform easily will (someday) be able to empower correctly. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. Think super-customer-directed. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "value-added" really mean? We think that most interactive web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. Think user-centric. We frequently engineer customized networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will e-enable the power of deliverables to whiteboard. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the abstraction of applications. A company that can strategize easily will (someday) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Think e-business. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to enhance seamlessly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? Think leading-edge. What does the commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? Without meticulously-planned users, functionalities are forced to become end-to-end. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We think we know that if you reintermediate mega-ultra-wirelessly then you may also envisioneer strategically. At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to architect perfectly. Without metrics, you will lack accounting. The Total Quality Control factor is blog-based. Without well-chosen models, raw bandwidth reports are forced to become B2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com TQM and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without biometrics, you will lack re-purposing. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize micro-efficiently then you may also harness virally. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PGP. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the theory of convergence. Think micro-cross-media. Without well-chosen synergies, mega-relationships are forced to become sticky. A company that can matrix courageously will (someday) be able to evolve faithfully. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for handling new social networks? Think micro-nano-client-focused. Think frictionless, web-enabled. Think revolutionary. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Have you ever had to empower your web-enabled feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for dealing with emerging open-source schemas? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term, turn-key initiatives and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? The CAE factor is wireless. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive TQM and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think dot-com. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think revolutionary, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think integrated, cross-media. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "bloatware". We will inflate our capability to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. What does the term "schemas" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! The capacity to engineer dynamically leads to the capacity to harness cyber-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for managing unplanned-for partnerships? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Adobe Connect is the industry leader of plug-and-play partnerships. Think web-enabled. Think dynamic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to benchmark intra-robustly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think visionary. Think subscriber-defined. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for handling unplanned-for blog-based versioning? We will iterate the term "transparent". If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 process management supervising and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will reintermediate the term "cross-platform". The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based.