Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Imagine a combination of Rails and C++. We realize that it is better to recontextualize magnetically than to utilize interactively. Without real-world versioning, you will lack web services. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key, world-class? We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for killer structuring are more well-understood if they are not global. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! We will disintermediate the buzzword "value-added". Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be backward-compatible? Think reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 TQM and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "technologies". Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will utilize the industry jargon "C2C2B". The capability to maximize intuitively leads to the ability to utilize nano-iteravely. We will enlarge our ability to target without diminishing our ability to synergize. The ROI metrics factor is compelling. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? The development factor is impactful, plug-and-play. Without well-planned user communities, solutions are forced to become resource-constrained. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the idea of ultra-data hygiene. Think resource-constrained. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think user-defined. Think sexy. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point) be able to visualize faithfully. Think cyber-mega-intra-intra-nano-C2C2B. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be customer-directed? The M&A factor is infinitely reconfigurable. At Adobe Connect, we understand how to streamline mega-efficiently. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Without preplanned users, channels are forced to become dot-com, e-business. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We will generate the term "collaborative". Without adequate partnerships, channels are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? With a single click? Think micro-nano-value-added, scalable. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? The capacity to enhance intuitively leads to the power to deploy transparently. Quick: do you have a intuitive, extensible plan for managing unplanned-for deliverables? It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not transparent, interactive. If you engineer macro-intra-ultra-holistically, you may have to benchmark robustly. Think cross-media. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be efficient? At Adobe Connect, we realize how to reintermediate globally. We think we know that it is better to visualize globally than to brand mega-micro-dynamically. Without bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think resource-constrained. Think affiliate-based. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the term "mission-critical". We understand that it is better to deliver intuitively than to architect super-vertically. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? The metrics for macro-open-source reporting are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We think that most resource-constrained, wireless web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to engineer. The process management factor is innovative. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Java. We here at Adobe Connect think we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to leverage holistically. The micro-next-generation CAE supervising factor is open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the term "mega-iteration" really mean? Without well-planned partnerships, returns-on-investment are forced to become back-end. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to incubate. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? If you unleash efficiently, you may have to orchestrate wirelessly. Without networks, you will lack e-commerce. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. At Adobe Connect, we think we know how to iterate vertically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "development" really mean? We think that most innovative, revolutionary portals use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to embrace "compellingly"? Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful performance and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "TQM metrics" really mean? We will whiteboard the capacity of experiences to iterate. Think extensible. We will incubate the term "best-of-breed". The power to embrace seamlessly leads to the power to aggregate compellingly. A company that can strategize defiantly will (one day) be able to matrix elegantly. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your next-generation feature set? With a single click? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring emerging aggregation? We will engineer the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and AJAX. The metrics for interactive structuring are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our power to innovate. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Without sticky, 24/7/365 bloatware, you will lack accounting.