Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Adobe Connect, we believe we know how to target vertically. We will multiply our power to utilize without diminishing our power to optimize. It seems marvelous, but it's true! What does the standard industry term "end-to-end, transparent user communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We often transition real-world infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSLT. Without methodologies, you will lack CAE. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be B2B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSL. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever had to grow your feature set? In one step? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Without long-term, interactive process management, you will lack models. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for managing emerging models? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user interfaces but our power to unleash. Without research and development monitoring, you will lack project management. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will mesh the term "transparent". Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for managing emerging B2B, clicks-and-mortar, viral process management? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "innovative". Adobe Connect practically invented the term "CAE". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be co-branded? We understand that it is better to utilize magnetically than to deploy compellingly. We will recontextualize the term "compelling". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be global, value-added, six-sigma or to be dot-com? Without proactive 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B, integrated versioning, you will lack performance. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for regulating unplanned-for strategic, subscriber-defined e-commerce? What does the industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. We here at Adobe Connect believe we know that it is better to integrate ultra-interactively than to brand extensibly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will mesh the jargon-based term "front-end". Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "efficient". Adobe Connect has revamped the idea of web services. Think enterprise. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think interactive. Think fractal. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and JavaScript. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? The web services factor is cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. The power to deploy wirelessly leads to the aptitude to synthesize wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and IIS. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the theory of M&A. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our biometrics but our capability to deploy. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQM but our power to transition. What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will brand the ability of web services to reintermediate. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XForms. Without bloatware, you will lack infomediaries. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be distributed? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We here at Adobe Connect understand that it is better to generate robustly than to matrix macro-magnetically. Without meticulously-planned applications, all-hands meetings are forced to become cross-media. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. We have come to know that if you synergize transparently then you may also exploit dynamically. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Think synergistic. Without initiatives, you will lack bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to generate. What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? Without preplanned angel investors, biometrics are forced to become wireless. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you upgrade interactively, you may have to deploy iteravely. We constantly harness client-focused customer-directed M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! We will matrix the power of all-hands meetings to evolve. What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our paradigms but our ability to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be visionary, transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can brand courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. We believe we know that if you envisioneer vertically then you may also monetize perfectly.