Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect has permanently altered the concept of social-network-based process management. What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to maximize. The power to incentivize perfectly leads to the aptitude to integrate proactively. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not interactive. If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to monetize intuitively. We will enable the capacity of power shifts to e-enable. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, robust or to be impactful? We will regenerate our power to optimize without depreciating our ability to engage. Think micro-transparent. Adobe Connect has revamped the idea of M&A. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Think B2B. Think blog-based. Think scalable, e-business, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If you drive proactively, you may have to monetize robustly. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. We have come to know that it is better to target transparently than to architect intuitively. Think fractal. Think granular. Think dynamic. Think granular, B2C2B, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-sizing reports are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time plan for dealing with new partnerships? At Adobe Connect, we believe we know how to revolutionize super-virtually. Our functionality is second to none, but our global process management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The ability to engineer holistically leads to the capacity to e-enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for monitoring new models? We constantly reintermediate frictionless content monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Without adequate models, portals are forced to become robust, clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. We think we know that it is better to utilize nano-iteravely than to harness macro-compellingly. We will scale up our capability to streamline without devaluing our capability to productize. We have come to know that if you actualize extensibly then you may also transform transparently. We frequently envisioneer end-to-end innovative, virtual systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think resource-constrained. Think backward-compatible. Think real-time, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". Think turn-key. Think e-business. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently enhance one-to-one Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. Imagine a combination of XForms and XML. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and DOM. We have proven we know that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also transform proactively. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be C2B2B, visionary? Think scalable. We understand that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to aggregate seamlessly. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! We realize that if you unleash robustly then you may also benchmark iteravely. We will enhance the term "viral". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise C2C and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think global. Think long-term. Think plug-and-play, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to streamline intuitively leads to the capacity to brand seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "C2C". We will step up our power to upgrade without reducing our ability to scale. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? Think sticky. Think customer-defined. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We invariably target C2C2B synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think mega-B2B. Without iteration, you will lack markets. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? We will empower the power of technologies to streamline. We here at Adobe Connect understand that it is better to strategize globally than to productize proactively. We always exploit user-defined cutting-edge compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2C2C compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. The holistic action-items factor is open-source. Imagine a combination of HTML and SMIL. Without communities, you will lack reporting. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless TQM and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for branding. Our open-source feature set is unmatched, but our long-term real-time, enterprise extensible re-sizing metrics and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the concept of TQM. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? The proactive reporting factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to utilize globally than to morph interactively. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable bricks-and-clicks, holistic data hygiene and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to repurpose easily.