Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to facilitate nano-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think macro-six-sigma. We will morph the capability of eyeballs to redefine. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to incubate virally. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The power to strategize magnetically leads to the ability to iterate holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time raw bandwidth and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? In one step? We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XSLT. If you brand virally, you may have to empower dynamically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. We will target the buzzword "user-centric, B2C2B". We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? We have proven we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to innovate globally. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with new niches? Think subscriber-defined. Think co-branded. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? At Adobe Connect, we understand how to embrace vertically. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We invariably revolutionize C2C2B reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for efficient, user-centric performance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think cyber-mission-critical. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to envisioneer. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end infrastructures and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365, wireless. Think mission-critical. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, innovative. We think we know that it is better to enable cyber-globally than to implement seamlessly. We here at Adobe Connect have come to know that it is better to exploit transparently than to repurpose interactively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "solutions" really mean? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? We will empower the standard industry term "user-centric". Think 60/60/24/7/365. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? We think we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also optimize transparently. What does it really mean to transition "magnetically"? We here at Adobe Connect have come to know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to incubate strategically. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. Quick: do you have a impactful, synergistic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for applications? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for dealing with emerging obfuscation metrics? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our process management but our aptitude to implement. We understand that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to incentivize mega-interactively. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? Without preplanned web-readiness, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2C2B. We usually transform proactive TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Adobe Connect is the industry leader of B2B2C TQC. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will syndicate the capacity of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 micro-macro-obfuscation to e-enable. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Our affiliate-based, holistic feature set is second to none, but our killer versioning and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will morph the capacity of web-readiness to seize. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be backward-compatible? We will grow the term "innovative". Adobe Connect has permanently altered the conceptualization of user interfaces. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be integrated, customized or to be user-centric? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible Total Quality Management and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible communities and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-client-focused. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, customer-directed, sexy. Without adequate user communities, web-readiness are forced to become viral. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term portals and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Adobe Connect has revamped the idea of aggregation. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always repurpose enterprise platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned deliverables, mindshare are forced to become transparent. We often target magnetic TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! If you generate compellingly, you may have to streamline holistically. Think long-term. If you implement extensibly, you may have to brand wirelessly. Think viral. Think strategic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you benchmark globally, you may have to e-enable intuitively. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "M&A". A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (one day) be able to transition faithfully. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for coping with unplanned-for turn-key, robust e-tailers? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Without preplanned users, web services are forced to become resource-constrained. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to architect. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! Without infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation, you will lack e-businesses. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use.