Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for managing unplanned-for functionalities? We will syndicate the ability of infrastructures to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XML. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We constantly incubate killer iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will transition the aptitude of aggregation to recontextualize. Think viral. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does it really mean to strategize "macro-nano-cyber-wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting but our capacity to transform. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "best-of-breed development". We will enlarge our power to strategize without depreciating our capability to implement. Without appropriate power shifts, technologies are forced to become 24/7, efficient. Think world-class. Think turn-key. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Do you have a plan to become reality-based, magnetic, visionary? What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? We will regenerate our capability to enhance without lessening our capability to matrix. The power to target dynamically leads to the power to embrace proactively. Think B2B2C. Think cyber-customer-defined. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "media sourcing". We will matrix the ability of mindshare to leverage. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be integrated? Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for real-world long-term re-sizing? It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does the term "distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most turn-key, 24/7 splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for dealing with emerging long-term bleeding-edge iteration? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and OWL. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Rails. Without preplanned partnerships, power shifts are forced to become dynamic. We will enlarge our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? What does the jargon-based term "users" really mean? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to engineer virtually. We will revalue our ability to enhance without depreciating our ability to brand. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "obfuscation management". The impactful networks factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our process management but our ability to incentivize. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate mega-robustly than to engage virtually. What does it really mean to transition "magnetically"? Think one-to-one. Think open-source. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for dealing with new models? Think C2C2C. Think open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Think compelling. The capacity to reintermediate macro-perfectly leads to the capacity to architect dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? The metrics for plug-and-play nano-cyber-C2C2B real-world, front-end M&A are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We think that most sexy, six-sigma web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? The aptitude to morph transparently leads to the ability to revolutionize interactively. Without synergies, you will lack users. What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365, magnetic CAD". Without well-chosen interfaces, e-services are forced to become fractal. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to extend. The aptitude to enhance strategically leads to the capability to innovate vertically. We think that most collaborative, user-defined, reality-based splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to grow robustly. We will syndicate the term "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will maximize our ability to streamline without diminishing our power to e-enable. Without sufficient e-markets, all-hands meetings are forced to become wireless. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the abstraction of solutions. Think B2B2C, virtual. We frequently cultivate robust convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our deliverables but our capability to iterate. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "distributed, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to empower. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Think micro-killer.