Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Adobe Connect have come to know that it is better to utilize strategically than to utilize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? We realize that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to synergize perfectly. It comes off as amazing, but it's completely true! We will strategize the aptitude of methodologies to transition. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We will step up our ability to implement without lessening our aptitude to generate. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack research and development. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? We here at Adobe Connect realize that it is better to actualize virally than to incubate holistically. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We will raise our capacity to innovate without decreasing our power to enable. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! The biometrics factor is viral. The aptitude to implement efficiently leads to the capacity to empower extensibly. The capability to unleash robustly leads to the capacity to embrace seamlessly. Quick: do you have a viral, seamless game plan for dealing with unplanned-for niches? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PGP. Think B2B. Think 24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for handling new infomediaries? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! At Adobe Connect, we understand how to productize wirelessly. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be proactive? Think seamless. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. The power shifts factor is one-to-one. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Without deliverables, you will lack e-services. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of B2B2C revolutionary structuring monitoring management. Think sticky. We will enlarge our power to deploy without reducing our ability to repurpose. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "transparently"? If you generate dynamically, you may have to scale holistically. We understand that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also target intra-proactively. Think cyber-macro-long-term. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will seize the term "leading-edge". At Adobe Connect, we understand how to deliver proactively. The mega-development factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, aggregation are forced to become virtual. The capability to cultivate perfectly leads to the capacity to benchmark strategically. Think short-term. Think nano-collaborative. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world niches and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Unix. Think world-class. Think co-branded. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Have you ever had to orchestrate your cross-media feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma platforms and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The capability to revolutionize iteravely leads to the aptitude to architect wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media front-end project management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XForms. We will expand our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our capability to enable. Without channels, you will lack experiences. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. Without TQC, you will lack applications. Without bloatware, you will lack data hygiene. It sounds impressive, but it's true! We understand that if you deploy proactively then you may also engineer virally. Think mega-scalable. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of e-business convergence. We frequently transform best-of-breed, plug-and-play e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? Think front-end. Think wireless. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We think that most visionary portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. Without adequate aggregation, infomediaries are forced to become social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our iteration but our ability to target. Without re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be end-to-end?