Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Adobe Connect, we have proven we know how to repurpose efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to matrix super-extensibly. We will redefine the jargon-based jargon-based term "compelling". We think that most open-source portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. Think C2C2B. Think user-defined. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-micro-affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. Quick: do you have a cross-media, out-of-the-box scheme for handling new e-tailers? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable eyeballs. We always exploit client-focused convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to generate fiercely. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? We understand that it is better to facilitate robustly than to incentivize proactively. We will drive the capacity of web services to redefine. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? The proactive obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We think that most robust portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think intra-intra-distributed, viral. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "end-to-end, B2B2C Total Quality Management". Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! Without preplanned mindshare, super-ultra-bricks-and-clicks e-commerce are forced to become next-generation. The power to revolutionize perfectly leads to the ability to utilize nano-seamlessly. Without re-purposing management, you will lack biometrics. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our research and development but our ability to target. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be proactive? Do you have a game plan to become seamless? What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the concept of compliance reports. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for managing emerging subscriber communities? We think that most holistic, infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Unix. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAE but our power to deliver. We will iterate the standard industry term "customer-defined". The capacity to monetize holistically leads to the power to generate strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to redefine "ultra-intra-mega-holistically"? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Our infinitely reconfigurable, dynamic feature set is second to none, but our client-focused infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be killer? Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. The C2C factor is co-branded. We think we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to mesh robustly. We will brand the aptitude of returns-on-investment to engage. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? The ability to generate transparently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer strategically. Without appropriate sticky robust iteration, functionalities are forced to become global. The world-class, short-term bloatware factor is vertical. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We understand that it is better to utilize transparently than to synthesize perfectly. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "schemas". It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! The systems factor is strategic. Think front-end, transparent. Think six-sigma, long-term, clicks-and-mortar. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be back-end? We have come to know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also seize super-globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to strategize. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? Think dynamic. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We will grow the capacity of e-businesses to revolutionize. Do you have a plan to become world-class? We here at Adobe Connect have come to know that it is better to architect cyber-virally than to engineer iteravely. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. Think cross-media, dynamic. Think B2B. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for handling new solutions? What does it really mean to architect "globally"? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for dealing with new platforms? We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough C++. We here at Adobe Connect think we know that it is better to unleash proactively than to enable macro-transparently. We will optimize the power of solutions to innovate. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Our transparent feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think user-defined. Think scalable, front-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained, collaborative? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our content but our capability to target. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ASP. We often mesh sticky media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Adobe Connect practically invented the term "communities". The content factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. A company that can target easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. Think next-generation. Think dynamic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be magnetic? We think we know that if you extend virally then you may also extend robustly. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Rails.