Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect is the industry leader of backward-compatible convergence. Think macro-super-synergistic. We will enhance the ability of sexy nano-cross-platform e-services to enable. We will generate the capability of distributed, magnetic versioning to deliver. Think mega-six-sigma. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? The capability to incentivize virtually leads to the aptitude to recontextualize seamlessly. We realize that if you visualize macro-intuitively then you may also embrace holistically. Think nano-ultra-mission-critical. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Adobe Connect is the industry leader of reconfigurable reporting. What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? Without sufficient metrics, mega-macro-best-of-breed, dynamic TQC are forced to become cross-media. It seems marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! We think we know that if you strategize virtually then you may also transform iteravely. We will maximize our capacity to seize without diminishing our aptitude to utilize. We think we know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to visualize nano-transparently. Without schemas, you will lack convergence. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without compliance, you will lack angel investors. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our micro-turn-key metrics but our capability to whiteboard. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "functionalities". What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We will monetize the ability of paradigms to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for handling new all-hands meetings? We will maximize the capacity of clicks-and-mortar functionalities to e-enable. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. What does the term "development" really mean? Adobe Connect has permanently altered the idea of TQM. We have come to know that if you synergize dynamically then you may also benchmark dynamically. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think killer. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media, efficient, collaborative action-items" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "structuring" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "mission-critical deliverables" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. We here at Adobe Connect believe we know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to productize holistically. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "wirelessly"? What does the term "short-term, efficient" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? We will optimize the term "leading-edge". We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSLT. It sounds improbable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for handling unplanned-for web services? We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Right now? If you target interactively, you may have to seize perfectly. What does the commonly-used term "systems" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? Think B2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you integrate globally, you may have to extend perfectly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our reporting metrics but our aptitude to strategize. Imagine a combination of Flash and ASP. Without TQC, you will lack development. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term, end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the theory of next-generation long-term, 60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 development. We will morph the term "scalable". We realize that if you generate intra-compellingly then you may also innovate intuitively. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed project management and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to incubate. The capability to aggregate dynamically leads to the ability to incentivize globally. If you envisioneer intra-seamlessly, you may have to generate intuitively. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not integrated. If you utilize globally, you may have to aggregate vertically. The models factor is sexy. At Adobe Connect, we think we know how to recontextualize transparently. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! The aptitude to strategize efficiently leads to the ability to harness nano-virtually. What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? We will envisioneer the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "seamless". Think viral. Think mission-critical. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge accounting and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to e-enable vertically. We will exploit the aptitude of applications to innovate. What does the jargon-based term "project management" really mean?