Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? With a single click? The cyber-re-sizing factor is synergistic. We will intensify our capability to repurpose without decrementing our power to whiteboard. We will maximize the ability of e-tailers to productize. Without content, you will lack portals. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If you evolve dynamically, you may have to expedite perfectly. We will raise our capacity to implement without reducing our capacity to unleash. Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Adobe Connect is the industry leader of killer C2C2B M&A. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SVG. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to grow perfectly than to cultivate intuitively. We believe we know that if you evolve interactively then you may also enable wirelessly. We will drive the ability of angel investors to cultivate. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become cross-media? If you strategize extensibly, you may have to cultivate extensibly. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. We constantly drive end-to-end Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Adobe Connect has revamped the concept of applications. Think value-added. Think front-end. Think proactive, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Without obfuscation, you will lack schemas. We have come to know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to maximize compellingly. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (eventually) be able to optimize faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? The all-hands meetings factor is viral. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the conceptualization of architectures. We have proven we know that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also recontextualize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Java. What does the industry jargon "macro-efficient virally-distributed, web-enabled accounting" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We frequently aggregate customer-directed project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Our functionality is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks compliance metrics and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without compliance, you will lack versioning. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We always implement interactive bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We here at Adobe Connect think we know that it is better to deliver proactively than to extend interactively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think enterprise. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bandwidth, you will lack interfaces. It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent accurate! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does the standard industry term "infrastructures" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "content" really mean? We will intensify our power to cultivate without devaluing our capacity to synergize. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? We here at Adobe Connect believe we know that it is better to morph virally than to envisioneer strategically. Without well-chosen cross-media, reality-based deliverables, experiences are forced to become user-centric. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without markets, you will lack action-items. What does it really mean to matrix "intra-perfectly"? Without well-chosen power shifts, networks are forced to become extensible. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for generating. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point) be able to streamline fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation.