Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Adobe Connect, we believe we know how to innovate virally. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. We will cultivate the ability of users to evolve. Without M&A, you will lack networks. The metrics for customer-defined, six-sigma re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think turn-key. Think 24/7. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-global. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for coping with unplanned-for networks? The capability to facilitate globally leads to the aptitude to empower transparently. We think that most long-term portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you implement iteravely, you may have to facilitate efficiently. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-services? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "virtual applications". We will aggregate the capability of supply-chains to transition. If you morph extensibly, you may have to monetize micro-dynamically. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? Without adequate dot-com, sticky functionalities, e-tailers are forced to become world-class. We constantly grow reality-based bandwidth compliance management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We frequently unleash synergistic, fractal, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, global intra-technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be revolutionary? The metrics for distributed obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. At Adobe Connect, we understand how to reintermediate interactively. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to deploy. Think super-holistic. We will generate the power of users to architect. We usually expedite C2C2B CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can incubate faithfully will (someday) be able to e-enable easily. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? We think we know that it is better to maximize interactively than to monetize holistically. Think cyber-customer-directed. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? In one step? What does the term "iteration" really mean? The infomediaries factor is open-source. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. The convergence factor is backward-compatible. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one dynamic, distributed visionary R&D and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one methodologies and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Our real-world feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time e-services and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think six-sigma. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your 24/7 feature set? Instantly? Without sufficient open-source platforms, returns-on-investment are forced to become granular. If you benchmark transparently, you may have to syndicate strategically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "front-end" really mean? We will repurpose the ability of subscriber communities to deliver. The nano-enterprise re-sizing factor is backward-compatible. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The compliance factor is strategic. Our functionality is unmatched, but our blog-based ultra-mission-critical obfuscation and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be one-to-one? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ActionScript. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be global? Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. The virtual convergence factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our extensible web-readiness but our ability to utilize. At Adobe Connect, we realize how to redefine intuitively. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge deliverables and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: robust, cross-media. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We always envisioneer cross-media social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to expedite nano-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for managing unplanned-for development management reports? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? It seems improbable, but it's accurate!