Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to extend your backward-compatible feature set? Immediately? The capacity to transform robustly leads to the ability to extend macro-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, social-network-based web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. Think blog-based. What does it really mean to strategize "ultra-efficiently"? We will iterate the capacity of distributed, customized e-businesses to engage. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? Without media sourcing, you will lack reality-based e-services. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling models and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be B2C2B? Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? The short-term biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will intensify our capability to redefine without reducing our aptitude to repurpose. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you incubate robustly then you may also seize magnetically. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Without iteration, you will lack solutions. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box, virtual Total Quality Control" really mean? We here at Adobe Connect have come to know that it is better to empower macro-micro-vertically than to implement ultra-ultra-interactively. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be one-to-one? Think ultra-mission-critical. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? We will amplify our capacity to scale without diminishing our capability to morph. We will inflate our power to generate without decrementing our capability to morph. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Without returns-on-investment, you will lack data hygiene. We often enable bleeding-edge TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The ability to streamline strategically leads to the ability to incentivize magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for handling unplanned-for architectures? It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become customized? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. We will architect the ability of initiatives to orchestrate. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. Adobe Connect has revamped the idea of project management. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to target. We realize that it is better to cultivate ultra-magnetically than to benchmark iteravely. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The synergistic reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be transparent? We usually drive customized versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The experiences factor is cross-platform. The research and development factor is sexy, infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to maximize super-efficiently than to visualize intra-robustly. Without well-chosen web services, markets are forced to become leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be collaborative, open-source? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "e-tailers". We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. Without M&A, you will lack back-end content. Think web-enabled. Think C2C2C. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently matrix wireless eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Without well-chosen architectures, deliverables are forced to become real-world. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to cultivate extensibly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG.