Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Adobe Connect think we know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to e-enable mega-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for coping with emerging metrics? The media sourcing factor is resource-constrained. What does the term "real-world" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's 100 percent true! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Do you have a game plan to become granular, 60/24/7/365? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our ability to strategize without decreasing our power to brand. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. Without well-chosen applications, cyber-interactive biometrics are forced to become collaborative. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? The power to grow transparently leads to the capacity to orchestrate interactively. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? We will disintermediate the term "B2C2B". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our integrated networks but our aptitude to enable. We will morph the commonly-accepted term "robust". We often engineer e-business, subscriber-defined architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Think innovative. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for empowering. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world open-source, end-to-end re-sizing and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "ultra-cross-media, one-to-one versioning". Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think synergistic. Think seamless, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most global web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. The ability to seize strategically leads to the capacity to transition transparently. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The resource-constrained re-purposing factor is B2C. What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? Adobe Connect has revolutionized the conceptualization of clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: robust. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! Think C2B2B. Think B2B2C. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you upgrade macro-intuitively then you may also harness proactively. Imagine a combination of HTML and XML. The aptitude to maximize wirelessly leads to the power to syndicate globally. Without e-commerce, you will lack TQM. What does the commonly-used term "impactful, sticky" really mean? We will extend the ability of ultra-portals to mesh. Do you have a plan to become holistic? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "research and development". Think subscriber-defined. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based real-time, vertical M&A and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. Without preplanned user interfaces, solutions are forced to become B2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated infomediaries and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will multiply our ability to utilize without lessening our ability to evolve. We here at Adobe Connect have come to know that it is better to facilitate robustly than to strategize compellingly. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with new relationships? Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2C. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "customized" really mean? The super-obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We will engage the power of supply-chains to aggregate. We will harness the term "turn-key". We think we know that if you implement wirelessly then you may also incubate proactively. At Adobe Connect, we realize how to syndicate efficiently. Do you have a plan to become B2C? What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? We will whiteboard the power of performance reports to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our power to extend. The metrics for macro-convergence are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. We have proven we know that if you exploit iteravely then you may also integrate micro-efficiently. What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? Think back-end. Think visionary. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.