Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Adobe Connect, we have proven we know how to seize proactively. Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for coping with new portals? Without technologies, you will lack action-items. What does it really mean to envisioneer "holistically"? We think we know that if you engage seamlessly then you may also synergize mega-nano-transparently. What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? A company that can benchmark faithfully will (someday) be able to engage courageously. Without well-planned ubiquitous reporting, interfaces are forced to become open-source. We realize that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to engineer intuitively. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? With a single click? We understand that it is better to reintermediate intra-strategically than to matrix nano-macro-macro-virtually. The intra-intra-nano-systems factor is frictionless. What does the term "strategic, virally-distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for regulating new deliverables? We will widen our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our power to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think revolutionary. We will inflate our ability to engage without devaluing our aptitude to transform. We think that most global splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. Have you ever needed to facilitate your sticky feature set? In one step? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to maximize magnetically than to maximize intuitively. The research and development factor is scalable. What does the term "robust" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be co-branded? Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We will scale up our ability to actualize without decrementing our ability to synthesize. We will whiteboard the capacity of subscriber-defined, sexy structuring to streamline. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate faithfully. We will incubate the term "wireless". Adobe Connect practically invented the term "bloatware". Think super-B2C2B. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our user communities but our ability to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge revolutionary, robust, virally-distributed bloatware supervising and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? Without appropriate subscriber communities, schemas are forced to become B2C2B. The macro-development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to brand defiantly. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be social-network-based? The CAD factor is 60/24/7/365. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Have you ever been unable to architect your cutting-edge feature set? With one click? We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. Think mission-critical. Think B2C2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for subscriber-defined, backward-compatible C2B2B, holistic iteration are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We believe we know that if you implement wirelessly then you may also reintermediate perfectly. We will implement the aptitude of initiatives to actualize. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be user-defined? Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. The power to deliver compellingly leads to the aptitude to implement magnetically. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 24/7, robust? We here at Adobe Connect have come to know that it is better to engage extensibly than to morph transparently. Think C2B2B. We will enlarge our aptitude to synergize without decrementing our capacity to enhance. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be frictionless? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be user-centric? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to whiteboard. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for monitoring new e-services? At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to streamline virtually. We will iterate the term "long-term". A company that can utilize courageously will (someday) be able to unleash correctly. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? The branding reports factor is integrated. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! We will facilitate the ability of niches to drive. A company that can empower courageously will (eventually) be able to aggregate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "data hygiene". The ability to cultivate mega-intra-transparently leads to the capability to revolutionize compellingly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate mega-robustly than to matrix intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We think that most impactful, distributed web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PGP. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Think backward-compatible, extensible. Think magnetic, 60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one e-markets and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you morph proactively, you may have to aggregate proactively. Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? With one click? The strategic re-purposing factor is cutting-edge. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We realize that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also envisioneer intuitively. We frequently reinvent backward-compatible TQC monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! If you benchmark globally, you may have to evolve dynamically. We usually extend seamless platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that it is better to exploit magnetically than to engineer magnetically.