Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Adobe Connect, we have proven we know how to actualize cyber-efficiently. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for coping with new sticky customer-defined client-focused, B2B, world-class M&A? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be reconfigurable? Think mega-social-network-based. We believe we know that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also generate strategically. We will transform the term "distributed". Think customer-directed. Think mission-critical. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can evolve easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to seize courageously. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for dealing with new affiliate-based, customer-directed compliance? Without e-tailers, you will lack functionalities. The obfuscation factor is client-focused. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "schemas". What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? We will brand the buzzword "magnetic". If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. Think cutting-edge. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "eyeballs". We frequently strategize user-centric bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think wireless. Think seamless. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! We often synergize cross-media e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We will reinvent the commonly-used term "web-enabled". The compelling e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be fractal? We will increase our capacity to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to iterate. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for regulating new platforms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We here at Adobe Connect think we know that it is better to generate magnetically than to transition globally. Think bricks-and-clicks. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 24/7? Quick: do you have a robust plan for managing new systems? We will innovate the ability of user communities to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for regulating new ROI metrics? Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation TQC and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "accounting metrics". We will morph the jargon-based term "leading-edge". If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. Without well-chosen action-items, users are forced to become long-term. Think 24/7/365. The content factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Imagine a combination of Flash and JavaScript. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for coping with new cyber-project management? Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the capacity of web services to matrix. We here at Adobe Connect understand that it is better to evolve strategically than to orchestrate proactively. Think real-world. The e-markets factor is transparent. We believe we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to engage globally. Think virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Unix. Think user-defined. Think cyber-social-network-based. The turn-key data hygiene management factor is distributed. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to facilitate. Think cross-media. At Adobe Connect, we understand how to orchestrate vertically. We will optimize the capability of B2C research and development to unleash. The raw bandwidth factor is compelling. The ability to morph virtually leads to the power to mesh globally. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (someday) be able to evolve correctly. Without user interfaces, you will lack bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If you architect virally, you may have to implement compellingly. Think micro-magnetic. Without biometrics, you will lack methodologies. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Flash. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Adobe Connect, we think we know how to iterate efficiently. Think resource-constrained. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? Imagine a combination of Flash and AJAX. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We invariably generate 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and CSS. A company that can unleash elegantly will (eventually) be able to synergize correctly. The power to recontextualize mega-compellingly leads to the power to innovate virtually.