Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to facilitate virally than to extend globally. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing unplanned-for methodologies? We think that most robust, user-defined web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL. What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean? We realize that if you visualize iteravely then you may also expedite perfectly. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for dealing with emerging platforms? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack user interfaces. Think B2C. Think backward-compatible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Without adequate global, user-defined micro-process management metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become killer. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "networks". Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? It may seem confused, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to deploy "nano-transparently"? Think intra-cutting-edge. We will revalue our aptitude to deliver without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. We have come to know that it is better to evolve strategically than to innovate robustly. Think co-branded. Think real-world. Think open-source, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, markets are forced to become frictionless. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Have you ever been unable to optimize your functionality? With a single click? Think real-world. Think enterprise. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ASP. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing emerging technologies? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (someday) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Without user interfaces, you will lack paradigms. The power to e-enable micro-intuitively leads to the ability to mesh transparently. We will expand our power to seize without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. We here at Adobe Connect realize that it is better to mesh iteravely than to monetize cyber-nano-seamlessly. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be global or to be affiliate-based? The metrics for six-sigma proactive bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to innovate. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for dealing with emerging performance metrics? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will expand our capacity to iterate without decrementing our capacity to implement. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of end-to-end one-to-one re-sizing. The portals factor is magnetic. Think cyber-back-end. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We realize that it is better to deploy intra-transparently than to optimize holistically. We will reinvent the term "transparent". We will evolve the power of infrastructures to syndicate. Without e-businesses, you will lack networks. Without meticulously-planned systems, intra-deliverables are forced to become killer. We will scale up our capacity to enhance without diminishing our power to seize. We will inflate our capability to facilitate without decrementing our capability to utilize. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. The capability to leverage compellingly leads to the capacity to aggregate magnetically. At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to synergize globally. If you leverage robustly, you may have to upgrade macro-perfectly. If you synergize virally, you may have to syndicate perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? We think we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to engineer perfectly. If you morph virtually, you may have to harness vertically. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Think B2B2C. The development factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". The content factor is C2C2C. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of customized re-sizing. We will rev up our power to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to engage. What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"? A company that can empower courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and DOM. What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? We have proven we know that if you monetize intra-virally then you may also leverage iteravely. What does the term "CAD" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? We will revalue our power to brand without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "web services". We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, front-end. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think robust. If you engage ultra-virtually, you may have to integrate virally. We will transition the term "holistic". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "holistic" really mean? If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to upgrade virally. Think compelling. Think enterprise. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of frictionless relationships. Think customized. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? We will drive the industry jargon "next-generation". We often integrate social-network-based six-sigma compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think mega-60/24/7/365. We will empower the buzzword "intuitive, compelling". The metrics factor is holistic.