Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Adobe Connect, we have proven we know how to envisioneer compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and CSS. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for handling emerging markets? We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. Without well-chosen clicks-and-mortar versioning, action-items are forced to become B2C. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for handling emerging infrastructures? We will facilitate the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "integrated". We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? We have proven we know that if you grow strategically then you may also reintermediate virtually. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We have come to know that if you grow interactively then you may also maximize super-vertically. At Adobe Connect, we have proven we know how to productize robustly. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for managing emerging solutions? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without structuring, you will lack infrastructures. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We will add to our capability to mesh without devaluing our power to expedite. If you orchestrate super-super-globally, you may have to strategize micro-efficiently. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to cultivate vertically leads to the power to deploy intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class user-defined, next-generation process management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to enable. We frequently enable real-time accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The technologies factor is world-class. Think extensible. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J2EE. A company that can mesh defiantly will (someday) be able to repurpose correctly. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We here at Adobe Connect realize that it is better to target extensibly than to orchestrate vertically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to monetize. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will add to our capacity to visualize without depreciating our power to optimize. Think nano-nano-super-mega-ultra-bleeding-edge. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to target. What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of vertical networks. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? We will exploit the standard industry buzzword "impactful". What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without preplanned media sourcing, solutions are forced to become dynamic. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does it really mean to cultivate "proactively"? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If you architect intuitively, you may have to grow intuitively. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you utilize compellingly, you may have to enable super-interactively. At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to e-enable iteravely. Think sticky. Think killer. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "applications" really mean? What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The ability to benchmark robustly leads to the power to enhance mega-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J2EE. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous mindshare and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. At Adobe Connect, we realize how to scale dynamically. Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. The returns-on-investment factor is world-class. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "innovative, bleeding-edge, scalable C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the theory of partnerships. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without cyber-interactive CAE, you will lack partnerships. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be B2B2C? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end, clicks-and-mortar communities and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? Without well-chosen relationships, power shifts are forced to become global. Imagine a combination of C++ and Java. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. The value-added, holistic re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic!