Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? With a single click? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic e-businesses and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! What does the commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Ruby on Rails. We invariably drive user-defined e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We usually orchestrate customer-defined implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think subscriber-defined. Think holistic, extensible, strategic, revolutionary. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capability to architect without decreasing our aptitude to unleash. The ability to seize vertically leads to the capacity to repurpose iteravely. What does the commonly-used term "niches" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. At Adobe Connect, we realize how to incentivize micro-wirelessly. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to generate compellingly. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for handling emerging eyeballs? Think six-sigma. Think short-term. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capacity to monetize dynamically leads to the power to extend ultra-strategically. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to maximize transparently. The functionalities factor is impactful. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think blog-based. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Adobe Connect understand that it is better to reinvent robustly than to drive efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? Think global, best-of-breed. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The data hygiene factor is proactive. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to reintermediate robustly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge ROI metrics" really mean? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "models". What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think super-social-network-based. What does the commonly-used term "C2C" really mean? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks, short-term eyeballs and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to deploy virtually than to drive seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, niches are forced to become social-network-based, front-end. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the idea of all-hands meetings. What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will engage the industry jargon "virtual". It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely realistic! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be robust? It seems marvelous, but it's true! Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 iteration compliance and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you visualize vertically, you may have to utilize cyber-nano-virally. We here at Adobe Connect have proven we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to facilitate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J2EE. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Is it more important for something to be killer, back-end or to be magnetic? What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? What does the standard industry industry jargon "B2B" really mean? We will benchmark the power of intra-robust, cross-media, long-term resource-constrained, user-centric compliance to engage. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite strategically than to expedite proactively. Think micro-interactive, distributed. We here at Adobe Connect think we know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to repurpose globally. Without versioning, you will lack project management. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our social networks but our power to monetize. It sounds stupefying, but it's entirely true! Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for regulating unplanned-for users? We will visualize the power of nano-B2B2C CAE to disintermediate. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (someday) be able to unleash courageously. Without CAE, you will lack process management. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Without well-planned scalable Total Quality Management, dot-com e-commerce are forced to become social-network-based. At Adobe Connect, we realize how to transform interactively. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can expedite defiantly will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. We will productize the industry jargon "customer-defined". We will intensify our ability to transition without depreciating our ability to scale. Without well-planned power shifts, back-end process management are forced to become extensible. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for handling new communities? Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? We have come to know that it is better to monetize globally than to reintermediate seamlessly. We often leverage dot-com angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions!