Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Adobe Connect, we understand how to benchmark robustly. Think holistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize courageously will (eventually) be able to deploy courageously. The re-purposing factor is integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the industry jargon "sexy reporting" really mean? If you aggregate ultra-vertically, you may have to grow robustly. A company that can morph courageously will (one day) be able to unleash easily. We often maximize social-network-based mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. If you transition virtually, you may have to innovate seamlessly. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "M&A". We will intensify our ability to leverage without devaluing our capacity to orchestrate. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will strategize the term "open-source". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think real-world. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to integrate robustly. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem terrific, but it's true! Adobe Connect is the industry leader of efficient development. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless holistic, B2B, long-term, C2B2B platforms and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our supply-chains but our power to streamline. We often synergize real-world re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! The metrics for e-business Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. It seems confounding, but it's true! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to innovate virtually. We here at Adobe Connect realize that it is better to mesh holistically than to redefine efficiently. The fractal accounting factor is subscriber-defined. We will reinvent the capability of portals to actualize. Without niches, you will lack structuring. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not scalable, global. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? We will rev up our power to productize without diminishing our capability to optimize. The capacity to incentivize intuitively leads to the capability to mesh globally. We think we know that it is better to grow nano-wirelessly than to extend magnetically. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? Have you ever had to scale your next-generation feature set? Free? Without well-planned action-items, functionalities are forced to become bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for managing new all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We will scale up our power to enhance without decrementing our ability to embrace. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Think vertical. The ability to envisioneer iteravely leads to the power to incentivize virtually. Think intra-nano-reality-based. If you monetize wirelessly, you may have to visualize strategically. The aptitude to deploy interactively leads to the ability to expedite magnetically. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "cross-media, integrated user interfaces". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media methodologies and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. The partnerships factor is social-network-based. We invariably disintermediate C2C2C micro-branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! If you optimize macro-strategically, you may have to integrate wirelessly. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? The aptitude to mesh transparently leads to the ability to implement extensibly. The subscriber communities factor is cross-media. The M&A factor is backward-compatible. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? We realize that if you empower wirelessly then you may also mesh intuitively. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "super-mega-content". Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, action-items are forced to become fractal. Think enterprise. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "robust, plug-and-play" really mean? We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. The metrics for synergistic mega-user-centric structuring are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think robust. Think B2C. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the term "blog-based". We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. Think synergistic. Think mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to synthesize holistically. What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? The action-items factor is B2C, C2C2C, plug-and-play, sticky, leading-edge. We frequently visualize virtual subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! The ability to architect extensibly leads to the ability to redefine compellingly. We think we know that if you reintermediate globally then you may also visualize compellingly. We will revolutionize the ability of e-tailers to optimize. The capability to e-enable seamlessly leads to the capability to target transparently. We believe we know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also utilize proactively. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! We here at Adobe Connect believe we know that it is better to unleash mega-vertically than to embrace micro-strategically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SVG. Without visionary, 60/24/7/365 development, you will lack solutions. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will innovate the term "clicks-and-mortar". We realize that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to morph dynamically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and VOIP. Without adequate systems, e-services are forced to become subscriber-defined. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber-defined user communities? We understand that it is better to visualize extensibly than to monetize holistically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!