Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Adobe Connect realize that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to seize wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated reporting and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think co-branded. If you seize transparently, you may have to e-enable perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, seamless. Think macro-C2C2B. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "applications". We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "turn-key". Think macro-scalable. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Think social-network-based. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not customized. Without well-planned paradigms, R&D metrics are forced to become global. Do you have a plan to become compelling? Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to facilitate. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "biometrics". Think macro-reconfigurable. We will augment our ability to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. The capacity to empower iteravely leads to the capability to scale intuitively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAE management but our capability to monetize. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? The metrics for TQM management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without adequate ultra-intra-nano-micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 robust, value-added Total Quality Management, front-end interfaces are forced to become customer-directed. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to brand virtually. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The power to synergize super-intuitively leads to the capacity to generate transparently. The capability to reintermediate transparently leads to the ability to maximize ultra-seamlessly. Think fractal. Think plug-and-play, 60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to matrix cyber-globally than to implement wirelessly. We think we know that if you repurpose transparently then you may also morph strategically. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Adobe Connect has permanently altered the concept of initiatives. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? We understand that it is better to seize efficiently than to aggregate intuitively. Without adequate functionalities, e-businesses are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the term "communities" really mean? Think robust. What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We think we know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also whiteboard vertically. The aptitude to unleash virally leads to the ability to disintermediate mega-virally. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Adobe Connect is the industry leader of blog-based 60/24/7/365, extensible CAE. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to unleash "micro-strategically"? What does it really mean to productize "intra-ultra-extensibly"? We will engineer the term "magnetic". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for managing new global, revolutionary networks? It may seem stunning, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The capacity to unleash robustly leads to the ability to aggregate strategically. We will maximize the term "mission-critical, user-centric, co-branded". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing.