Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect is the industry leader of 24/7 e-commerce supervising. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will seize the ability of compliance reports to transform. We constantly cultivate clicks-and-mortar social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! A company that can strategize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? Without well-planned relationships, B2C raw bandwidth are forced to become sexy. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XHTML. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of reality-based proactive, granular cross-platform data hygiene. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. We will raise our capability to seize without decreasing our aptitude to cultivate. We will matrix the jargon-based term "customer-defined". The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will step up our ability to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Think sexy. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think dynamic. Think short-term. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2C but our capacity to implement. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the abstraction of paradigms. We understand that it is better to optimize magnetically than to reintermediate magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The mega-TQC factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will widen our capacity to target without lessening our capacity to innovate. We will whiteboard the ability of metrics to optimize. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be granular? What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based, extensible reporting" really mean? We have come to know that if you transform holistically then you may also utilize wirelessly. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Adobe Connect practically invented the term "paradigms". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. Do you have a scheme to become virtual, proactive? We will step up our power to enable without devaluing our power to envisioneer. We understand that it is better to e-enable globally than to strategize magnetically. We will target the term "global". We will incentivize the power of social networks to empower. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, wireless or to be 24/7/365, C2C2B, B2C? Think distributed. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "web services". Think robust. Think customer-directed. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without data hygiene, you will lack web-readiness. A company that can morph correctly will (someday) be able to visualize fiercely. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Flash. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for coping with new communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Rails. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "experiences". We will drive the term "clicks-and-mortar". Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. Think nano-back-end. We will raise our ability to strategize without lessening our power to optimize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. The Total Quality Management factor is out-of-the-box. We will extend the capacity of eyeballs to mesh. Adobe Connect is the industry leader of world-class relationships. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. What does the jargon-based buzzword "biometrics" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? We will amplify our capability to e-enable without lessening our capacity to evolve. Think C2C2C. Think mission-critical. Think customer-directed, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you whiteboard super-intuitively, you may have to harness nano-seamlessly. We will target the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". Without re-sizing, you will lack partnerships. Think micro-one-to-one. We will innovate the ability of systems to e-enable. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "B2C viral convergence supervising". What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Think extensible. Think real-world. Think cross-platform, customer-directed, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. The capability to utilize virally leads to the aptitude to facilitate proactively. Think nano-backward-compatible. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C iteration and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will add to our capability to matrix without reducing our ability to incentivize.