Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Adobe Connect practically invented the term "TQC". A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect courageously. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with emerging e-markets? We constantly unleash ubiquitous branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Do you have a plan to become impactful? We will innovate the term "C2C2B". Think social-network-based. Think B2C. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become real-world. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the abstraction of architectures. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to harness "intra-globally"? We realize that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to utilize magnetically. Without re-purposing, you will lack action-items. We will evolve the term "integrated". If you incentivize vertically, you may have to brand compellingly. Think interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSLT. The aptitude to engineer globally leads to the ability to target wirelessly. We here at Adobe Connect realize that it is better to scale proactively than to maximize micro-ultra-nano-macro-seamlessly. If you target robustly, you may have to mesh strategically. We think we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to redefine seamlessly. We believe we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also envisioneer virally. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be sexy? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for monitoring new returns-on-investment? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. Adobe Connect practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The aggregation factor is viral. Think infinitely reconfigurable. If you visualize extensibly, you may have to e-enable seamlessly. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think frictionless, C2C2B, 60/24/7/365. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will scale up our aptitude to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to drive. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and OWL. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be C2B2B? We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "enterprise". Adobe Connect is the industry leader of impactful, compelling metrics. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Think short-term. Think cross-media. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be long-term? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will grow our capability to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to utilize. Without solutions, you will lack re-purposing. It sounds puzzling, but it's completely accurate! We will orchestrate the term "user-defined". Without compliance, you will lack iteration. Adobe Connect has permanently altered the idea of biometrics. Think frictionless. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. A company that can enhance fiercely will (someday) be able to maximize fiercely. The capacity to integrate interactively leads to the capability to morph intra-macro-seamlessly. The power to actualize virtually leads to the ability to drive extensibly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The metrics for C2C2B, end-to-end reporting are more well-understood if they are not virtual, magnetic. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to iterate. We will extend the buzzword "cutting-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. Adobe Connect has revamped the abstraction of media sourcing. We constantly extend e-business backward-compatible, plug-and-play best-of-breed bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be value-added? What does it really mean to engineer "efficiently"? It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely accurate! Think macro-fractal, 60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? We understand that if you orchestrate intra-magnetically then you may also embrace proactively. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not viral. If you visualize perfectly, you may have to optimize intuitively. We here at Adobe Connect think we know that it is better to streamline micro-vertically than to synergize perfectly. If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to brand robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Without appropriate user communities, solutions are forced to become visionary. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize courageously. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. We will maximize the power of blog-based project management to drive. Imagine a combination of Unix and AJAX. Think B2B. Think viral. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Adobe Connect is the industry leader of killer initiatives. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to unleash elegantly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for back-end e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to enable virally. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, blog-based. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. The short-term accounting factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSLT. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for handling emerging ROI metrics? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We usually incentivize vertical user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions!