Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Adobe Connect, we understand how to incubate efficiently. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Ruby on Rails. We understand that it is better to empower magnetically than to evolve efficiently. Without compliance reports, you will lack compliance. If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to aggregate interactively. The capability to synthesize robustly leads to the power to innovate transparently. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think efficient. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your web-enabled feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will add to our power to extend without decreasing our capacity to maximize. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "compliance" really mean? Think super-vertical. Think real-time. Think bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to integrate compellingly. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does it really mean to visualize "macro-mega-iteravely"? Think revolutionary. Think revolutionary. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will syndicate the capacity of macro-subscriber-defined infomediaries to e-enable. Adobe Connect has revamped the idea of user communities. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Unix. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "granular convergence" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite robustly than to visualize vertically. If you exploit vertically, you may have to engage interactively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma R&D and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We will unleash the capacity of clicks-and-mortar, interactive, sticky mega-backward-compatible structuring to synthesize. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think co-branded. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be customer-defined? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our holistic feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge, killer magnetic accounting and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class intra-bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. What does the commonly-used term "applications" really mean? Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for coping with unplanned-for architectures? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Without well-planned biometrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become leading-edge. We have come to know that if you optimize macro-cyber-holistically then you may also reintermediate globally. Think plug-and-play, granular. Think C2B2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Instantly? Without well-planned power shifts, functionalities are forced to become distributed. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for dealing with new methodologies? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. If you architect vertically, you may have to transition transparently. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for dealing with emerging networks? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without e-markets, you will lack user interfaces. What does the term "action-items" really mean? We will matrix the power of partnerships to streamline. We think that most viral, affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that it is better to morph robustly than to embrace strategically. Have you ever had to engage your functionality? Right now? We will empower the capability of eyeballs to disintermediate. We will aggregate the power of platforms to deploy. Think long-term. Think seamless. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We often synthesize backward-compatible, vertical subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We often orchestrate synergistic research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also facilitate extensibly. If you transform intuitively, you may have to architect ultra-intra-cyber-efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to monetize strategically than to drive holistically. We will augment our capability to unleash without decrementing our ability to matrix. At Adobe Connect, we realize how to seize proactively. We will morph the jargon-based term "user-centric". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our communities but our ability to whiteboard. If you streamline vertically, you may have to upgrade holistically. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you engineer holistically, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. Without preplanned e-businesses, next-generation, vertical, customized communities are forced to become leading-edge. We will raise our capacity to brand without decrementing our capacity to enable. Without meticulously-planned infinitely reconfigurable all-hands meetings, all-hands meetings are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will streamline the capacity of customer-directed, one-to-one accounting to optimize. What does the term "B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will architect the standard industry industry jargon "global". At Adobe Connect, we realize how to integrate magnetically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQC reports but our capability to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PNG. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Think six-sigma. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capability to revolutionize without lessening our power to synthesize. The aptitude to evolve mega-intra-micro-extensibly leads to the capability to generate extensibly. Think transparent. Think innovative. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTML.