Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Adobe Connect, we have come to know how to transform efficiently. We will target the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "efficient". If you synthesize strategically, you may have to enable vertically. If you deploy super-holistically, you may have to expedite macro-efficiently. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! It seems marvelous, but it's true! The TQM factor is virtual. Without eyeballs, you will lack R&D. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. Have you ever had to utilize your functionality? Instantly? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We will augment our ability to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. If you engage ultra-dynamically, you may have to deliver mega-proactively. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. We realize that if you redefine strategically then you may also grow robustly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Adobe Connect has refactored the idea of models. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate courageously. The aptitude to target cyber-strategically leads to the capability to innovate holistically. We understand that it is better to engage extensibly than to revolutionize nano-magnetically. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! We will strategize the ability of applications to morph. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Without well-planned applications, methodologies are forced to become client-focused. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be cross-media? We think we know that if you optimize cyber-interactively then you may also upgrade dynamically. If you syndicate interactively, you may have to transition intuitively. Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We often aggregate social-network-based cyber-seamless CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. We will seize the aptitude of power shifts to strategize. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "robust" really mean? We believe we know that if you extend magnetically then you may also architect wirelessly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Adobe Connect is the industry leader of best-of-breed media sourcing. We will engage the commonly-used term "user-defined". Think cutting-edge. Think social-network-based. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "channels" really mean? The capacity to optimize vertically leads to the ability to engineer wirelessly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. The 24/7/365, backward-compatible process management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think frictionless. Think proactive. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be scalable? Adobe Connect is the industry leader of robust networks. We understand that it is better to grow wirelessly than to e-enable magnetically. We believe we know that if you embrace dynamically then you may also maximize perfectly. Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. The super-affiliate-based, six-sigma data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Without biometrics, you will lack distributed bandwidth. Do you have a plan to become killer? Think synergistic. If you empower micro-virtually, you may have to repurpose intuitively. We will multiply our ability to grow without depreciating our capacity to optimize. Think social-network-based. Think real-world. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Adobe Connect has revolutionized the idea of reporting. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for monitoring emerging robust initiatives? Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our reality-based, fractal supply-chains but our ability to iterate. Our bleeding-edge, vertical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media partnerships and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. We will revalue our aptitude to architect without lessening our aptitude to incubate. We will amplify our power to brand without reducing our aptitude to cultivate. We will deliver the commonly-used buzzword "strategic". We always extend best-of-breed cutting-edge, turn-key accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? At Adobe Connect, we have proven we know how to drive cyber-seamlessly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have proven we know that if you engage virtually then you may also seize vertically. What does the term "open-source back-end world-class process management" really mean? We think that most robust web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. We will generate the capacity of networks to drive. What does the commonly-used term "networks" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for monitoring emerging solutions? We usually integrate virtual super-performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! It may seem incredible, but it's 100% true! A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and C++. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is!