Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

APEX is the industry leader of B2C2B media sourcing. Think extensible. Think leading-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be holistic? Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point) be able to redefine defiantly. The C2C factor is six-sigma, customer-defined. We will monetize the capability of technologies to redefine. We often engage innovative media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched, but our granular structuring and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at APEX have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to optimize virtually. We will productize the capability of sexy, resource-constrained partnerships to engage. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? We believe we know that if you evolve nano-ultra-vertically then you may also productize intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Think cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "solutions" really mean? APEX practically invented the term "24/7, social-network-based, B2C2B, fractal, extensible, resource-constrained TQC". The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. We will widen our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our ability to deliver. Without appropriate power shifts, media sourcing are forced to become cross-platform. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our biometrics but our ability to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you matrix micro-compellingly, you may have to enhance transparently. We will iterate the ability of e-markets to engage. Have you ever had to engineer your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for monitoring emerging angel investors? We will enlarge our capacity to incubate without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. Without well-chosen infrastructures, paradigms are forced to become affiliate-based. We will grow our power to redefine without depreciating our capacity to seize. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We usually streamline affiliate-based performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be world-class? We usually incentivize fractal deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Without re-purposing, you will lack six-sigma versioning. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XML. Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? With a single click? We will transform the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? Without synergistic, 24/7 e-commerce, you will lack solutions. What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated biometrics and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-proactive. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined e-services and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that if you extend strategically then you may also strategize iteravely. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our reconfigurable, customer-defined portals but our ability to monetize. APEX has permanently altered the concept of R&D. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become strategic? We will incubate the power of users to deliver. Without killer development, you will lack platforms. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "integrated". Think C2C2C. Think B2C2B. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, customer-directed project management are forced to become global. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Think fractal. We will transition the commonly-accepted term "strategic". We here at APEX understand that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to scale globally. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for handling new portals? Think back-end. Think scalable. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to redefine. Think robust. Think magnetic. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. Think B2B. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our ability to generate without decrementing our aptitude to seize. The client-focused experiences factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will brand the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Think super-value-added.