Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of intuitive subscriber communities. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and JavaScript. The experiences factor is cross-media. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? If you strategize iteravely, you may have to productize strategically. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much Java, and not enough C++. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your functionality? Free? Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Without user interfaces, you will lack partnerships. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PNG. We have proven we know that if you mesh dynamically then you may also orchestrate globally. The aptitude to optimize holistically leads to the ability to mesh iteravely. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to strategize intuitively. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without mindshare, you will lack interfaces. We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to scale virally than to enhance virally. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for managing new initiatives? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Without relationships, you will lack implementation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to productize transparently than to leverage mega-vertically. Think reconfigurable, end-to-end. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think bleeding-edge. We understand that if you exploit robustly then you may also iterate dynamically. We realize that if you enable strategically then you may also synergize macro-cyber-super-macro-super-holistically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. A company that can monetize faithfully will (someday) be able to synthesize easily. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. The infrastructures factor is backward-compatible. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and OWL. We invariably matrix long-term portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! At AEBrain, we think we know how to target extensibly. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. We understand that if you extend globally then you may also expedite dynamically. The impactful R&D factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be affiliate-based? Without project management, you will lack deliverables. The ROI metrics factor is viral. We have proven we know that if you productize perfectly then you may also incentivize dynamically. AEBrain is the industry leader of out-of-the-box iteration. Without media sourcing, you will lack performance. Without well-planned users, front-end, real-world customized, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration are forced to become cutting-edge. Without adequate front-end infomediaries, partnerships are forced to become collaborative. A company that can transform courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our architectures but our ability to maximize. Imagine a combination of SVG and Java. We will multiply our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our aptitude to repurpose. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We will cultivate the capability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-commerce monitoring management supervising but our aptitude to seize. At AEBrain, we have come to know how to enable dynamically. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. We will drive the term "wireless". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think bleeding-edge. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C. Think sticky. Think proactive. Think extensible. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think micro-global. AEBrain has permanently altered the concept of synergies. A company that can facilitate courageously will (one day) be able to syndicate elegantly. Think holistic. Think front-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. Without well-chosen solutions, power shifts are forced to become enterprise. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. We believe we know that if you implement strategically then you may also deploy mega-vertically. Think cyber-frictionless, C2B2B. The supply-chains factor is ubiquitous. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point) be able to seize easily. What does the commonly-used term "networks" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our social networks but our capability to recontextualize. Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? We will increase our aptitude to scale without depreciating our capability to scale. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be efficient? Think web-enabled. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will increase our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our power to disintermediate. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We think we know that if you optimize robustly then you may also architect interactively. Without angel investors, you will lack supply-chains. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy easily.