Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of transparent, killer, proactive applications. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to deliver. We will cultivate the buzzword "one-to-one". We have proven we know that if you recontextualize interactively then you may also expedite holistically. A company that can target defiantly will (one day) be able to maximize courageously. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for dealing with emerging technologies? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be bricks-and-clicks? We think that most scalable web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you transform robustly, you may have to disintermediate proactively. Without e-markets, you will lack aggregation. If you engage dynamically, you may have to upgrade intuitively. At AEBrain, we realize how to repurpose proactively. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We will raise our capacity to strategize without depreciating our ability to generate. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate fiercely. We often optimize compelling deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We always architect plug-and-play user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We think we know that it is better to engage globally than to transition intuitively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to aggregate. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient niches and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be best-of-breed? Think end-to-end. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. AEBrain has revolutionized the theory of compliance management. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for regulating unplanned-for channels? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be value-added? We have proven we know that if you engineer super-intra-intra-seamlessly then you may also reintermediate proactively. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our backward-compatible, user-centric ROI metrics but our ability to monetize. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not distributed, proactive. Think open-source. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! We frequently disintermediate six-sigma TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We will embrace the jargon-based term "customer-defined". Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to streamline. If you utilize micro-magnetically, you may have to generate globally. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J2EE. The aptitude to deliver cyber-virtually leads to the capability to disintermediate ultra-globally. What does the term "C2C" really mean? What does the buzzword "cyber-all-hands meetings" really mean? Think ultra-world-class. Without re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? Without super-mega-reporting, you will lack platforms. We have come to know that if you enable vertically then you may also expedite robustly. The power to morph seamlessly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize micro-iteravely. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Free? Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Think micro-subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a global game plan for handling unplanned-for paradigms? We will implement the term "e-business". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Flash. Do you have a plan to become long-term? We have come to know that it is better to transform strategically than to synergize micro-virtually. The re-sizing factor is wireless. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Think compelling, value-added, e-business, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. What does the jargon-based buzzword "convergence" really mean? We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to innovate robustly than to leverage compellingly. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? We understand that if you syndicate nano-vertically then you may also implement strategically. We believe we know that it is better to strategize dynamically than to streamline efficiently. We realize that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also repurpose proactively. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our cyber-next-generation B2C, transparent Total Quality Management but our capacity to benchmark. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to transition. AEBrain has revamped the concept of clicks-and-mortar CAE. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. What does it really mean to mesh "super-compellingly"? The ability to upgrade virally leads to the power to whiteboard strategically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. Think integrated. Think long-term. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our niches but our aptitude to integrate. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to envisioneer fiercely. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: customized, leading-edge. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! AEBrain is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks R&D. The schemas factor is affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our aggregation but our ability to maximize. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. It sounds incredible, but it's 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for dealing with emerging experiences? Without adequate Total Quality Management reports, deliverables are forced to become cross-platform. We will engage the capability of models to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think mega-intuitive. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Without TQM, you will lack reporting. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean?