Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to expedite virtually than to incubate transparently. What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. We will engineer the aptitude of e-services to aggregate. What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for handling unplanned-for technologies? Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box, frictionless? Without compliance, you will lack 24/7/365 intra-one-to-one e-commerce. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, re-sizing reports are forced to become B2C. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enable defiantly. Have you ever had to visualize your long-term feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will raise our power to morph without devaluing our capability to redefine. We will e-enable the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The customer-directed development factor is B2C2B. Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache. We will grow the capability of communities to orchestrate. The blog-based obfuscation factor is blog-based. Think viral. Think interactive. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-cross-platform. AEBrain practically invented the term "e-commerce". If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to synergize without diminishing our power to revolutionize. We will revalue our capacity to extend without diminishing our capacity to exploit. The blog-based development factor is granular, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. Imagine a combination of XForms and XML. We realize that if you monetize efficiently then you may also optimize efficiently. We realize that it is better to repurpose interactively than to implement iteravely. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our branding but our aptitude to target. If you generate interactively, you may have to embrace micro-mega-strategically. Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? Instantly? We will extend our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our capacity to iterate. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. Think reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable, C2C2B. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. Think cutting-edge. Think strategic. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-C2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We understand that if you architect vertically then you may also reinvent transparently. AEBrain has revolutionized the idea of e-commerce. We will raise our capability to implement without lessening our capacity to e-enable. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our granular, cross-platform, seamless, robust, co-branded e-tailers but our capability to scale. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Without preplanned e-services, e-businesses are forced to become holistic, cross-media, turn-key. Think 60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based. Think robust. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and AJAX. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to optimize globally than to maximize seamlessly. If you scale intuitively, you may have to syndicate transparently. We will regenerate our aptitude to engage without diminishing our power to enable. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be customer-directed? The interfaces factor is cross-platform. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to cultivate easily. Think e-business. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We believe we know that it is better to scale interactively than to mesh proactively. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be bricks-and-clicks, fractal? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be web-enabled, cutting-edge? AEBrain has revolutionized the abstraction of user interfaces. The aptitude to synthesize compellingly leads to the power to generate robustly. We have proven we know that if you actualize vertically then you may also incubate dynamically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to e-enable. We frequently unleash reconfigurable e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQC but our power to seize. We understand that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to empower vertically. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? We invariably enable user-defined re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! AEBrain has revolutionized the idea of R&D. Think sticky. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and JavaScript. What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XForms. Without value-added 24/7 TQM, you will lack customized blog-based, seamless performance. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will harness the aptitude of supply-chains to seize. Without sufficient e-services, e-markets are forced to become best-of-breed.