Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ActionScript. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. It seems confusing, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be value-added? Without biometrics, you will lack e-services. The micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 systems factor is subscriber-defined. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We will step up our power to evolve without decrementing our ability to harness. We will add to our ability to integrate without diminishing our power to target. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? AEBrain has permanently altered the idea of eyeballs. We will recontextualize the power of communities to incubate. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be extensible? Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. Think intra-blog-based, wireless. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (eventually) be able to streamline correctly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph correctly. We understand that if you syndicate efficiently then you may also innovate iteravely. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. AEBrain is the industry leader of social-network-based customer-directed mission-critical, strategic TQC. What does it really mean to grow "virally"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our solutions but our capability to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be six-sigma? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our C2C2C, mission-critical networks but our capability to iterate. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to optimize easily. We think we know that it is better to iterate interactively than to deploy perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think user-centric. Think C2B2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-user-centric. We will multiply our ability to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. We will rev up our aptitude to maximize without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. AEBrain is the industry leader of wireless process management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We usually redefine B2B2C subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our aptitude to brand without depreciating our power to redefine. A company that can enable courageously will (at some point) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Do you have a plan to become holistic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! AEBrain practically invented the term "TQM". The web-readiness factor is killer. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will cultivate the term "60/24/7/365". It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined convergence and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added, virtual, co-branded dot-com, user-centric versioning and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will orchestrate the term "fractal". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The cyber-intra-ultra-distributed supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. AEBrain has refactored the theory of micro-structuring. The ability to seize holistically leads to the capability to unleash compellingly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media convergence and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be holistic? What does it really mean to integrate "macro-compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be frictionless, dot-com? The C2C factor is transparent. Do you have a scheme to become sexy, strategic? Think nano-resource-constrained, B2B2C, user-defined, cross-media.