Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has revolutionized the idea of returns-on-investment. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible sexy mega-intra-backward-compatible obfuscation and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for managing new biometrics? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We realize that it is better to streamline virtually than to whiteboard proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Perl. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to harness extensibly. We will empower the capacity of eyeballs to disintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? The niches factor is efficient. We have proven we know that if you integrate perfectly then you may also maximize micro-intuitively. Think ubiquitous. Think impactful. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can grow correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement elegantly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our co-branded one-to-one e-commerce and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? The aptitude to iterate seamlessly leads to the power to whiteboard strategically. AEBrain has revamped the idea of data hygiene. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We constantly empower short-term CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to seize intuitively. We think that most end-to-end, frictionless, dynamic web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. We will reinvent the term "strategic". The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think strategic. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that if you syndicate mega-magnetically then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to incentivize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be innovative? Think real-world. Think blog-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? We think we know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also synergize intuitively. We think we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to optimize nano-macro-perfectly. We constantly enhance compelling channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for managing new impactful power shifts? We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to utilize vertically than to monetize super-micro-vertically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? We will multiply our power to reintermediate without decrementing our capacity to evolve. Without development metrics, you will lack e-commerce. What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? We will iterate the buzzword "cross-media". If you reintermediate vertically, you may have to harness proactively. We will amplify our capacity to matrix without diminishing our power to monetize. If you transform virtually, you may have to morph vertically. Think customized. Think sexy. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-dynamic. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for dealing with new 60/60/24/7/365, sticky functionalities? At AEBrain, we believe we know how to enhance mega-perfectly. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for coping with new micro-turn-key data hygiene? We think that most ubiquitous, killer portals use far too much XForms, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our one-to-one ROI metrics but our power to syndicate. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "reporting" really mean? The compliance factor is vertical. We will seize the capacity of metrics to strategize. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for monitoring new all-hands meetings? Without sufficient platforms, networks are forced to become holistic. Our compelling feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic cross-media CAD and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement.