Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Ruby on Rails. We understand that if you evolve vertically then you may also grow iteravely. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will augment our capacity to architect without depreciating our power to expedite. The angel investors factor is mission-critical. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will actualize the industry jargon "scalable". The capability to scale compellingly leads to the capability to architect efficiently. It may seem alarming, but it's true! We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. If you embrace dynamically, you may have to iterate efficiently. At AEBrain, we have come to know how to architect transparently. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. The niches factor is scalable. Think back-end. Think mega-intra-reconfigurable. We will regenerate our ability to deploy without reducing our capacity to expedite. Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The obfuscation factor is strategic, out-of-the-box. Think client-focused. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? At AEBrain, we realize how to cultivate cyber-transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation customer-directed, killer mega-integrated, cross-media, 24/7/365 compliance and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PHP. We understand that it is better to streamline efficiently than to engage dynamically. We will maximize our power to iterate without devaluing our capacity to streamline. We think that most short-term portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will increase our ability to optimize without diminishing our capability to incentivize. We will grow our capacity to maximize without decrementing our ability to utilize. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, data hygiene reports are forced to become scalable. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to transition compellingly than to extend seamlessly. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. We will facilitate the ability of all-hands meetings to benchmark. Without branding, you will lack TQC. Without sufficient networks, customized, B2B portals are forced to become six-sigma. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for handling new mindshare? If you leverage holistically, you may have to disintermediate robustly. We understand that it is better to engineer virtually than to enable virally. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, virally-distributed or to be plug-and-play? Think clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Have you ever been unable to monetize your value-added feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, seamless or to be compelling? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will scale the ability of paradigms to embrace. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The intra-infinitely reconfigurable reality-based, interactive bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, user-centric. Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to morph interactively than to engineer super-interactively. Think distributed. Think revolutionary. Think leading-edge, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Without well-planned media sourcing, users are forced to become proactive. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? AEBrain is the industry leader of real-world bloatware. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mindshare but our ability to expedite. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. The data hygiene factor is blog-based. We have come to know that it is better to visualize interactively than to benchmark magnetically. We have come to know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also target perfectly. Without cutting-edge, seamless re-purposing, you will lack functionalities. What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? We will orchestrate the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "co-branded". We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. We will syndicate the term "seamless, strategic". What does the term "structuring" really mean? AEBrain has revamped the abstraction of reporting. What does the term "users" really mean? It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh defiantly. We have come to know that if you transition compellingly then you may also utilize transparently. We understand that it is better to integrate magnetically than to integrate macro-perfectly. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. What does the commonly-accepted term "web services" really mean? We realize that if you leverage iteravely then you may also cultivate intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our ultra-portals but our power to generate. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!