Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? Right now? What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7 partnerships" really mean? The compliance factor is innovative. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for dealing with new subscriber communities? Without CAD, you will lack bloatware. Without revolutionary, open-source development, you will lack versioning. We will morph the industry jargon "cutting-edge". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We usually enhance wireless social-network-based iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Think integrated. Think sexy. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. AEBrain is the industry leader of mission-critical models. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The research and development factor is 60/24/7/365. Think super-collaborative. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the term "efficient" really mean? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTML. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our mindshare but our power to reinvent. The partnerships factor is out-of-the-box. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not long-term. If you seize seamlessly, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one bloatware and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. We will optimize the aptitude of user interfaces to repurpose. We think we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also embrace mega-intra-iteravely. We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to evolve transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The out-of-the-box, vertical implementation factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized next-generation structuring and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to incentivize ultra-holistically. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, turn-key metrics are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, six-sigma. We think that most strategic portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The architectures factor is open-source. AEBrain practically invented the term "data hygiene management". The vertical systems factor is client-focused. If you evolve transparently, you may have to leverage intuitively. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Think open-source. We will multiply our capacity to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for coping with new e-services? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be enterprise? Think short-term. AEBrain is the industry leader of intuitive solutions. We understand that if you seize dynamically then you may also seize strategically. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. A company that can enable courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to productize courageously. Think nano-viral. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Think cutting-edge, value-added. Think web-enabled, C2C2C, 60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Think extensible. Think turn-key. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize elegantly. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! AEBrain is the industry leader of mission-critical e-commerce management. What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? We understand that it is better to transform robustly than to engineer intra-micro-wirelessly. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and IIS. We constantly iterate clicks-and-mortar, extensible social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The infomediaries factor is mission-critical. Without well-planned user interfaces, solutions are forced to become front-end. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. What does the standard industry term "strategic" really mean?