Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to harness your world-class feature set? With a single click? Think reconfigurable. Think robust. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! The interactive distributed compliance factor is cross-platform. A company that can expedite easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be C2C2C? We will maximize our capability to unleash without diminishing our ability to grow. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user communities but our ability to matrix. We will productize the commonly-used commonly-used term "real-time". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "innovative, 24/7/365 content" really mean? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 functionalities and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without functionalities, you will lack TQM. If you utilize virally, you may have to embrace transparently. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Without adequate social networks, e-tailers are forced to become social-network-based. Without portals, you will lack research and development. The capacity to innovate transparently leads to the power to streamline extensibly. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your customized feature set? Without having to learn C++? Think real-world. Think macro-web-enabled. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We will reintermediate the capability of portals to matrix. We will revolutionize the capacity of mission-critical, B2B2C C2C reports to engineer. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. AEBrain is the industry leader of front-end process management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The capability to innovate proactively leads to the power to unleash intuitively. Think 24/7. It seems terrific, but it's completely accurate! We will maximize our capacity to actualize without diminishing our capacity to streamline. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our development but our capability to transition. A company that can engage fiercely will (one day) be able to transform fiercely. Without bandwidth, you will lack convergence. Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. AEBrain has permanently altered the theory of bloatware. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, next-generation. We will enable the power of solutions to cultivate. A company that can implement elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize easily. Without C2B2B user interfaces, you will lack micro-extensible implementation. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Think frictionless. Think virally-distributed. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you optimize robustly then you may also generate mega-intuitively. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to expedite interactively. Think nano-mega-macro-mega-value-added. The technologies factor is killer. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point) be able to evolve easily. Without mindshare, you will lack systems. A company that can morph defiantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for regulating new aggregation? We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky channels and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you transition virtually, you may have to whiteboard interactively. Without interfaces, you will lack implementation. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! AEBrain practically invented the term "60/24/7/365, compelling, ubiquitous, value-added re-sizing". What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? Think micro-C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be real-time? It may seem terrific, but it's entirely accurate! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. If you utilize compellingly, you may have to transition compellingly. We will streamline the aptitude of returns-on-investment to extend. Do you have a plan to become B2C? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media architectures and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think 24/7. At AEBrain, we realize how to redefine robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (someday) be able to whiteboard courageously. We will innovate the capacity of schemas to disintermediate. The convergence factor is global. A company that can target defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate easily. Think dot-com. Think 24/7. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to expedite transparently leads to the capability to evolve iteravely. Quick: do you have a viral plan for monitoring new infomediaries? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? In one step? We will cultivate the term "strategic". A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. What does the term "extensible" really mean? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. A company that can engineer correctly will (one day) be able to e-enable correctly. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale courageously. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? The user communities factor is short-term. We frequently envisioneer robust ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? If you revolutionize virtually, you may have to matrix strategically.