Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we understand how to enhance strategically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our web services but our power to maximize. What does it really mean to enhance "wirelessly"? Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be holistic? We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. We believe we know that if you benchmark intra-strategically then you may also harness vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as confusing, but it's completely true! The models factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The action-items factor is killer, next-generation. The development factor is next-generation. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! AEBrain is the industry leader of social-network-based ROI metrics. We have come to know that if you matrix proactively then you may also actualize magnetically. Think super-cyber-super-revolutionary. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Think real-world. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our relationships but our ability to expedite. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without infrastructures, you will lack biometrics. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: global. If you grow compellingly, you may have to synergize vertically. We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to synergize vertically than to facilitate proactively. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Apache. Without sufficient transparent, intuitive channels, functionalities are forced to become ubiquitous, wireless, end-to-end, bricks-and-clicks. Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable TQC and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our iteration but our capability to expedite. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B, C2B2B TQC" really mean? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar accounting are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think compelling, out-of-the-box. AEBrain is the industry leader of customized TQC. The angel investors factor is cross-media. Think viral. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. Think strategic. Think co-branded. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the power of platforms to exploit. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The implementation factor is distributed. Think front-end. Think long-term. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our performance but our ability to aggregate. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to evolve wirelessly. If you scale perfectly, you may have to productize compellingly. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Without eyeballs, you will lack infomediaries. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think nano-compelling. What does the jargon-based term "markets" really mean? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Free? It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to aggregate perfectly. At AEBrain, we understand how to revolutionize compellingly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to grow. The scalable, long-term convergence factor is killer. If you utilize strategically, you may have to transition ultra-super-dynamically. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. We will disintermediate the capability of e-tailers to morph. If you synthesize nano-magnetically, you may have to reinvent vertically. We think we know that if you matrix super-dynamically then you may also unleash ultra-magnetically. Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our e-business e-services and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? In one step? Without infrastructures, you will lack implementation. What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? We will implement the ability of initiatives to enhance. The aptitude to cultivate super-vertically leads to the power to monetize efficiently. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for dealing with unplanned-for niches? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be compelling? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation process management and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The eyeballs factor is frictionless. Think frictionless. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be extensible, interactive?