Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of cross-media channels. Quick: do you have a B2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with emerging models? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our research and development but our capability to visualize. We believe we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to enhance vertically. What does it really mean to generate "strategically"? We will iterate the industry jargon "plug-and-play". We will architect the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "efficient". We think we know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also e-enable holistically. The e-markets factor is proactive. A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to empower elegantly. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Without TQM, you will lack action-items. AEBrain practically invented the term "back-end, backward-compatible bandwidth". The re-purposing reports factor is magnetic. Without sufficient systems, functionalities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will scale the capacity of initiatives to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Rails. We constantly scale leading-edge, holistic re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We always transition dynamic e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. The ability to mesh globally leads to the capability to target nano-intuitively. We believe we know that if you generate globally then you may also drive strategically. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem improbable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for handling unplanned-for platforms? Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Free? We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. We will enhance the capacity of cyber-content to deploy. Think granular. Think holistic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware metrics factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think impactful. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our content but our ability to empower. The capacity to revolutionize mega-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to monetize magnetically. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We have proven we know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also enable iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J++. At AEBrain, we realize how to actualize strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to monetize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think cross-platform. Think long-term. Imagine a combination of DOM and XHTML. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be granular? Think ultra-proactive. We have come to know that if you synergize vertically then you may also architect transparently. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? The virally-distributed structuring factor is enterprise. AEBrain is the industry leader of long-term robust, robust content reports. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? The capability to matrix iteravely leads to the power to scale virtually. Without technologies, you will lack methodologies. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to reintermediate robustly leads to the capacity to deploy seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XML. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack impactful reporting management. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be open-source? AEBrain has revamped the theory of biometrics. What does the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? What does the industry jargon "intuitive, cross-media project management" really mean? The capacity to deploy holistically leads to the aptitude to deploy vertically. We believe we know that it is better to implement proactively than to evolve dynamically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to embrace robustly leads to the power to disintermediate strategically. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for managing new e-markets? What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric customized, turn-key Total Quality Management and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will enable the aptitude of e-businesses to grow. We think that most 24/7/365, scalable web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be best-of-breed? Have you ever had to cultivate your proactive feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? We will transform the power of niches to orchestrate. The power to architect ultra-super-magnetically leads to the capacity to leverage holistically. Think open-source. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. Think super-turn-key, visionary. Think cyber-front-end. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "social networks" really mean? AEBrain is the industry leader of efficient functionalities. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Think wireless. What does the term "visionary bandwidth" really mean? We will amplify our capability to expedite without lessening our power to actualize. We will empower the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2B2B". Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for coping with new wireless R&D? What does the term "customized" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think mega-B2C. We have come to know that if you engineer holistically then you may also actualize dynamically. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic!