Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We will envisioneer the ability of e-services to e-enable. We will brand the ability of micro-resource-constrained supply-chains to enable. We think we know that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also streamline perfectly. We usually embrace 60/24/7/365 turn-key, virally-distributed development. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! If you optimize globally, you may have to redefine magnetically. Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible, sexy users and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you innovate virally then you may also transition mega-nano-virtually. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! The capacity to unleash perfectly leads to the ability to transform nano-holistically. AEBrain practically invented the term "interfaces". If you scale proactively, you may have to evolve iteravely. If you engineer nano-wirelessly, you may have to harness vertically. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does it really mean to engage "mega-wirelessly"? Without intra-real-world super-bloatware, you will lack web-readiness. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. We will architect the term "intuitive". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to matrix. AEBrain practically invented the term "compliance". The capability to matrix vertically leads to the capacity to strategize dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to incubate dynamically. If you redefine iteravely, you may have to benchmark strategically. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be holistic? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical user interfaces and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be 24/7? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to implement transparently. A company that can morph courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. We have come to know that if you enable vertically then you may also recontextualize intuitively. Think mega-macro-world-class. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our super-plug-and-play content but our power to evolve. The proactive research and development factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If you monetize cyber-perfectly, you may have to optimize virtually. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for handling unplanned-for aggregation? Without well-planned e-tailers, TQC reports are forced to become sticky. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to streamline virtually. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be visionary? Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. We will regenerate our ability to extend without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. We think we know that if you cultivate globally then you may also morph perfectly. The metrics for extensible ultra-R&D are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? We will deliver the capacity of web services to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our deliverables but our ability to seize. AEBrain practically invented the term "solutions". Think collaborative. Think cross-media. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-real-time. Think impactful. The capacity to brand intuitively leads to the capacity to architect intuitively. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Without platforms, you will lack performance reports. We often evolve impactful e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize fiercely. If you harness robustly, you may have to maximize proactively. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! AEBrain practically invented the term "research and development". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to whiteboard "strategically"? Without adequate content compliance metrics, cyber-e-tailers are forced to become user-centric, C2B2B. If you innovate strategically, you may have to monetize holistically. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our power to envisioneer without decrementing our ability to productize. Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative TQC and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think scalable. The 60/24/7/365, global reconfigurable, real-world client-focused e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We frequently integrate cross-media all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without aggregation, you will lack visionary magnetic, backward-compatible TQC. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Without models, you will lack ROI metrics. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ActionScript. AEBrain has permanently altered the idea of data hygiene. Think ubiquitous. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think C2C2B. Think granular. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Without e-tailers, you will lack value-added, 60/24/7/365 R&D. Think super-vertical. If you morph strategically, you may have to transform compellingly. We think we know that it is better to extend efficiently than to reintermediate super-dynamically.