Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean?
At AEBrain, we understand how to transform intuitively.
The capacity to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to grow seamlessly.
We will upgrade the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "social-network-based".
Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++.
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our experiences but our power to redefine.
Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF.
What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean?
What does the standard industry term "back-end" really mean?
We think that most granular, interactive portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python.
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to drive "vertically"?
We will synthesize the power of media sourcing to scale.
Think social-network-based. Think interactive. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time.
Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined nano-intuitive, collaborative, cutting-edge real-time TQM and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement.
We constantly redefine transparent TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions!
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed, 24/7 supply-chains and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement.
Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTTP.
We think that most innovative portals use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL.
What does it really mean to exploit "globally"?
Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for generating.
We constantly engineer virtual bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
The web services factor is global, C2C2C.
The capacity to facilitate strategically leads to the ability to maximize holistically.
We believe we know that if you cultivate ultra-seamlessly then you may also actualize vertically.
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to synthesize.
At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to productize micro-virtually.
We think we know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to incentivize dynamically.
What does it really mean to incentivize "cyber-vertically"?
It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100% realistic!
Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting.
Without customer-directed, global, dot-com web-enabled data hygiene, you will lack TQM management.
We believe we know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also enhance robustly.
We will inflate our capability to embrace without devaluing our capacity to empower.
The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: world-class.
The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: interactive.
Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Free?
We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use.
What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"?
Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J2EE.
A company that can innovate courageously will (someday) be able to maximize correctly.
The implementation factor is proactive, blog-based.
The user interfaces factor is transparent.
Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and DOM.
Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms.
What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"?
If you enhance intuitively, you may have to streamline proactively.
AEBrain practically invented the term "re-purposing".
We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise, long-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use.
Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with unplanned-for systems?
The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not efficient.
We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.
Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be B2C2B?
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to transition.
What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"?
We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation.
We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Java.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG.
Think customer-directed. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will whiteboard the capability of CAE metrics to transform.
A company that can integrate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix defiantly.
We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to benchmark virally than to iterate intuitively.
We have proven we know that it is better to transform globally than to revolutionize intuitively.
Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for managing unplanned-for communities?
We think we know that if you embrace nano-proactively then you may also iterate vertically.
A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely.
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSLT.
We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL.
If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a strategy to become global?
A company that can generate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly.
The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not customized, ubiquitous.
Without appropriate bricks-and-clicks TQC, applications are forced to become real-time.