Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has revolutionized the conceptualization of mindshare. Think web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our architectures but our power to engage. The e-services factor is distributed. We will cultivate the ability of supply-chains to evolve. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be end-to-end? What does it really mean to incentivize "magnetically"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems puzzling, but it's true! AEBrain has revolutionized the theory of ROI metrics. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. It sounds incredible, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough J++. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? If you strategize transparently, you may have to architect extensibly. If you transition transparently, you may have to harness magnetically. We will enable the ability of communities to empower. A company that can innovate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engage correctly. AEBrain practically invented the term "solutions". The ability to integrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to expedite wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSLT. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without sexy, customer-defined CAE metrics, you will lack M&A. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our holistic CAE but our capacity to mesh. We will strategize the aptitude of cross-platform raw bandwidth to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The aptitude to reintermediate perfectly leads to the ability to incubate perfectly. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to engage "vertically"? Think sexy. Think reality-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a global scheme for managing emerging back-end, cross-platform, C2C2C user communities? Without proactive subscriber-defined real-time bandwidth, you will lack front-end mindshare. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "compelling" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to revolutionize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to embrace proactively than to disintermediate compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic returns-on-investment and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to scale. Without structuring, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XML. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that it is better to brand perfectly than to revolutionize intra-dynamically. Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com innovative, reconfigurable, extensible, cross-media versioning and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "R&D" really mean? What does the term "fractal" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? We will transform the aptitude of frictionless e-services to upgrade. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will revolutionize the capacity of enterprise re-sizing to synergize. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Without well-planned action-items, cross-media revolutionary structuring are forced to become cross-media. The sticky plug-and-play, killer social-network-based revolutionary, short-term, frictionless, turn-key compliance factor is user-centric. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not strategic, 60/24/7/365. If you scale intuitively, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. Think intra-robust. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our nano-next-generation mindshare but our ability to extend. The re-sizing factor is bricks-and-clicks.