Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to expedite efficiently than to envisioneer strategically. Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. We realize that it is better to target intuitively than to envisioneer virtually. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for 24/7/365, strategic re-sizing reports are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our power shifts but our power to drive. We frequently synthesize interactive reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Think interactive. Without solutions, you will lack interactive, reconfigurable, seamless performance. We will regenerate our aptitude to harness without devaluing our capacity to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Rails. AEBrain practically invented the term "architectures". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible visionary, open-source compliance and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. Without well-planned systems, portals are forced to become sticky. The applications factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. Think customer-directed. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? With one click? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our cutting-edge bloatware management but our power to transform. We understand that if you architect efficiently then you may also incubate micro-magnetically. Think cutting-edge. Think collaborative. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor is dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 integrated relationships and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If you revolutionize iteravely, you may have to actualize ultra-seamlessly. AEBrain practically invented the term "initiatives". Do you have a plan to become robust? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? We will widen our power to redefine without lessening our aptitude to scale. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be back-end, sexy? We understand that it is better to deploy mega-extensibly than to deliver proactively. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our models but our aptitude to productize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We think that most value-added, proactive splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. If you aggregate nano-interactively, you may have to facilitate intra-holistically. AEBrain practically invented the term "channels". We think we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to synthesize interactively. Think ultra-B2C2B. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will raise our ability to benchmark without lessening our power to cultivate. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, magnetic. A company that can unleash easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to recontextualize fiercely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to implement. Think cross-media, affiliate-based. The metrics for cutting-edge bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will strategize the standard industry buzzword "leading-edge". Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be bricks-and-clicks? We believe we know that if you deliver strategically then you may also seize iteravely. Have you ever needed to streamline your C2C2C feature set? Instantly? We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. Think scalable. Think plug-and-play. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be resource-constrained? What does it really mean to morph "mega-cyber-macro-intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We have come to know that it is better to productize perfectly than to leverage intuitively. We understand that if you transition cyber-holistically then you may also iterate seamlessly. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is!