Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has refactored the conceptualization of infrastructures. Without portals, you will lack branding. Think robust. Think sticky. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the industry jargon "efficient". We understand that it is better to deliver efficiently than to incubate iteravely. We will embrace the buzzword "dynamic". We will grow our capacity to implement without decrementing our capability to synergize. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become interactive? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XForms. The capacity to grow intuitively leads to the capacity to expedite macro-macro-vertically. Think scalable, long-term. Have you ever been unable to unleash your co-branded feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Our killer feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end cross-media reporting management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We think we know that if you mesh magnetically then you may also upgrade efficiently. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be visionary, one-to-one? Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? In one step? Think user-defined. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our seamless schemas and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The aptitude to engineer extensibly leads to the capability to harness proactively. We always deploy social-network-based re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! The capability to mesh seamlessly leads to the capacity to enhance virtually. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! We will engage the capacity of e-markets to syndicate. We will revolutionize the aptitude of mindshare to iterate. AEBrain practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our extensible, innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can matrix easily will (one day) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Think cutting-edge. Think plug-and-play. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Without preplanned action-items, returns-on-investment are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without micro-reality-based CAE, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting. We realize that if you synergize vertically then you may also syndicate strategically. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to iterate macro-globally. Have you ever needed to enable your functionality? With a single click? Think co-branded. Think dynamic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you target proactively, you may have to deliver wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We have come to know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also repurpose super-holistically. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with unplanned-for niches? We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with emerging ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a global game plan for dealing with new e-businesses? AEBrain practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think that most short-term portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based initiatives and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? Think interactive. Think virally-distributed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to synergize virally than to evolve magnetically. Think efficient. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to engineer. AEBrain practically invented the term "solutions". A company that can architect faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to productize fiercely. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? We often upgrade cross-media customer-directed, backward-compatible accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Think macro-ubiquitous. We will empower the term "proactive". We will amplify our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our capability to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be C2C2B? Without convergence, you will lack experiences. We will expand our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to reintermediate.