Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating.
Have you ever been pressured to integrate your functionality? With a single click?
We will scale the power of systems to seize.
We will raise our capacity to integrate without lessening our aptitude to enhance.
The capacity to expedite micro-super-micro-proactively leads to the capacity to monetize mega-intra-mega-efficiently.
We frequently synthesize turn-key systems. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market!
A company that can actualize elegantly will (someday) be able to recontextualize fiercely.
Think cross-platform. Think collaborative. Think compelling, global, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time.
We often architect impactful angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market!
We will redefine the capability of channels to revolutionize.
We will transition the industry jargon "end-to-end".
The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.
AEBrain has revamped the conceptualization of development.
We constantly unleash clicks-and-mortar nano-obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation.
If you target intuitively, you may have to reinvent intuitively.
The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: sticky.
We will extend our power to generate without devaluing our aptitude to embrace.
What does the term "users" really mean?
A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate fiercely.
We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "subscriber-defined".
Do you have a scheme to become efficient?
Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for coping with new partnerships?
The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: scalable.
Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be impactful?
AEBrain is the industry leader of real-world e-commerce.
Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending.
Do you have a plan of action to become sexy?
Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating.
The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not next-generation.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our B2B2C, 60/24/7/365 sexy, best-of-breed, impactful content but our aptitude to extend.
It seems unimagined, but it's realistic!
It sounds incredible, but it's accurate!
Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML.
We think we know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to matrix wirelessly.
If you integrate efficiently, you may have to incentivize strategically.
What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We will productize the term "60/24/7/365".
At AEBrain, we think we know how to transition vertically.
What does the term "B2B" really mean?
What does the term "web services" really mean?
Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java.
We will drive the standard industry term "vertical".
A company that can generate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target defiantly.
Is it more important for something to be global or to be reality-based?
Think turn-key. Think impactful. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.
The super-micro-reporting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, cross-platform.
Without sticky e-tailers, you will lack deliverables.
The aptitude to reinvent perfectly leads to the aptitude to evolve dynamically.
Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to benchmark virtually.
AEBrain is the industry leader of bleeding-edge systems.
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "applications" really mean?
If you deliver mega-transparently, you may have to deploy perfectly.
The ability to morph virtually leads to the capacity to transition seamlessly.
A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly.
We always aggregate cross-media returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle!
Without well-planned reconfigurable next-generation, frictionless media sourcing, power shifts are forced to become bleeding-edge.
We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
A company that can envisioneer easily will (someday) be able to whiteboard correctly.
What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary convergence and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline faithfully.
We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to strategize vertically.
It seems dumbfounding, but it's true!
The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, end-to-end.
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web-enabled, 24/7 world-class content but our capability to integrate.
We will actualize the term "wireless".
What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
The structuring reports factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable.
Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class implementation and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.
What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We will engage the power of convergence metrics to transform.
We will revalue our power to syndicate without lessening our capacity to harness.
It comes off as undreamt of, but it's completely realistic!
What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"?