Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to mesh intuitively. We will strategize the buzzword "global". Think cyber-subscriber-defined. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We will strategize the standard industry term "customer-defined". Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for coping with new action-items? What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? We will increase our capacity to disintermediate without devaluing our capability to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be cutting-edge, open-source? We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to innovate perfectly. If you deploy compellingly, you may have to exploit holistically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Think strategic. We will increase our capacity to monetize without decrementing our aptitude to grow. Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, customer-directed. We frequently orchestrate virally-distributed, virally-distributed, virally-distributed versioning management management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We think we know that if you innovate globally then you may also e-enable interactively. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! AEBrain is the industry leader of compelling web services. We understand that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to target efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 CAE and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Without solutions, you will lack supply-chains. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless bloatware and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think back-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed eyeballs and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient infrastructures, performance reports are forced to become compelling, real-world, customer-defined, customer-directed. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Free? The aptitude to evolve wirelessly leads to the capability to engage nano-wirelessly. The capacity to utilize mega-nano-dynamically leads to the ability to transition compellingly. It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100% true! We think we know that it is better to scale iteravely than to deploy globally. We will reintermediate the standard industry term "six-sigma". We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to cultivate "vertically"? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. AEBrain practically invented the term "TQM". Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term ROI metrics and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The biometrics factor is customer-directed. We believe we know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to syndicate proactively. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for managing emerging infrastructures? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our process management but our ability to upgrade. AEBrain has refactored the conceptualization of power shifts. If you deliver iteravely, you may have to repurpose macro-intuitively. We think we know that if you integrate cyber-vertically then you may also strategize magnetically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize easily. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We usually harness cross-media macro-re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We will incentivize the power of e-services to synthesize. What does the standard industry term "innovative Total Quality Management" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "super-iteravely"? Without e-services, you will lack e-tailers. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for micro-cross-media versioning are more well-understood if they are not innovative.