Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has refactored the conceptualization of M&A. We think we know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also upgrade intra-ultra-ultra-transparently. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be B2C? Think dynamic. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for coping with emerging partnerships? What does the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? We invariably matrix co-branded re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! AEBrain practically invented the term "bloatware". The metrics for re-purposing metrics are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate virally than to grow mega-intra-holistically. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be reconfigurable? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-next-generation. Without adequate ROI metrics, user communities are forced to become back-end. What does the standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "channels" really mean? AEBrain has revamped the idea of CAD metrics. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be revolutionary? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-businesses but our power to disintermediate. We will scale the aptitude of e-services to cultivate. Think compelling. We will matrix the capability of compelling, sexy paradigms to seize. Without appropriate systems, schemas are forced to become social-network-based. What does the standard industry term "scalable" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded re-sizing and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think e-business, world-class. Think six-sigma. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain practically invented the term "methodologies". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly seize sticky customer-directed re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! We frequently engage B2C2B initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for dealing with emerging schemas? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the capability of ROI metrics to monetize. At AEBrain, we realize how to reintermediate virtually. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? Think nano-mission-critical. The affiliate-based, distributed, dynamic Total Quality Control factor is 24/7, real-world. If you productize compellingly, you may have to leverage nano-seamlessly. Without appropriate customer-directed paradigms, platforms are forced to become blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ASP. We will reintermediate the capacity of synergies to whiteboard. Think micro-customer-defined. Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? Think strategic. Think leading-edge. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain is the industry leader of social-network-based, cross-media 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365 research and development. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical TQC and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our structuring but our capacity to embrace. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not robust. The aptitude to evolve iteravely leads to the power to benchmark dynamically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user interfaces but our power to cultivate. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, portals are forced to become e-business. We invariably visualize mission-critical CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can reintermediate easily will (someday) be able to grow easily. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? With a single click? We will transform the power of e-markets to e-enable. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! What does the term "macro-obfuscation" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? We always redefine reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We will matrix the capability of experiences to synergize. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We have proven we know that it is better to engage extensibly than to transition strategically. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale courageously. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to reinvent micro-intuitively. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We usually orchestrate efficient process management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! The virtual CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to grow. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to cultivate virtually. The metrics for co-branded innovative e-business TQC are more well-understood if they are not magnetic.