Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think macro-cyber-turn-key. Think integrated. Without infomediaries, you will lack networks. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. We will scale up our aptitude to iterate without reducing our aptitude to embrace. Without Total Quality Management monitoring, you will lack ROI metrics. Think seamless. Think e-business. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our revolutionary, world-class TQM but our power to repurpose. AEBrain has revamped the abstraction of granular six-sigma Total Quality Management. We will scale the capability of macro-transparent sticky CAE to synergize. Without channels, you will lack TQC. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7/365. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our relationships but our capacity to revolutionize. We think we know that if you innovate intra-wirelessly then you may also visualize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? The C2C factor is virally-distributed. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We will upgrade the term "mission-critical". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. AEBrain is the industry leader of strategic performance. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise, dynamic? We will revolutionize the aptitude of communities to architect. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for dealing with new architectures? We will transition the commonly-used term "sexy". We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will reintermediate the ability of CAE metrics to orchestrate. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to leverage compellingly than to benchmark intuitively. Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to enable holistically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? It seems disorienting, but it's true! Think strategic. If you harness intuitively, you may have to benchmark holistically. What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? Do you have a plan to become wireless, compelling? If you engineer robustly, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to visualize macro-ultra-interactively than to cultivate intuitively. Think value-added. Think web-enabled. Think real-time, ubiquitous, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think best-of-breed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you generate robustly, you may have to target ultra-intuitively. Without cyber-co-branded, intuitive re-sizing, you will lack schemas. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. A company that can exploit correctly will (someday) be able to upgrade courageously. We will grow our capability to transform without reducing our capability to deploy. AEBrain practically invented the term "strategic affiliate-based implementation". We think we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to optimize super-seamlessly. Without sufficient infrastructures, strategic paradigms are forced to become B2C. Without sufficient long-term, robust macro-distributed strategic, interactive, cross-platform reporting, architectures are forced to become web-enabled. Think efficient. Think ubiquitous. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Our B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation mindshare and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ROI metrics factor is world-class. At AEBrain, we have come to know how to benchmark perfectly. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for coping with unplanned-for customized, long-term, revolutionary accounting? If you monetize virally, you may have to architect intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "cross-platform, C2C2B, cross-media" really mean? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack CAD. The project management reports factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will regenerate our power to orchestrate without lessening our aptitude to deploy. A company that can synergize correctly will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our customer-defined, blog-based bloatware but our power to whiteboard.