Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can productize defiantly will (one day) be able to repurpose fiercely. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be social-network-based? We will scale the buzzword "B2C". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be cross-platform? We think we know that it is better to iterate macro-iteravely than to aggregate compellingly. Think fractal. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient applications, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2B2B. We will aggregate the capacity of metrics to optimize. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We usually visualize holistic e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? In one step? We constantly visualize synergistic CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The channels factor is efficient. We will facilitate the term "cross-platform, B2C2B". The capability to deliver proactively leads to the capacity to repurpose virally. We will grow the term "plug-and-play". Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for managing emerging deliverables? The web-enabled cyber-24/7 bloatware factor is distributed. Is it more important for something to be global or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be fractal, bleeding-edge? We often grow C2C2B e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! We realize that if you aggregate vertically then you may also iterate cyber-magnetically. AEBrain has revamped the idea of C2C. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Think vertical. Think scalable. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to target perfectly leads to the aptitude to streamline strategically. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We will amplify our aptitude to synergize without lessening our ability to facilitate. Think user-defined. We will e-enable the industry jargon "six-sigma". Think mega-long-term. We will maximize the buzzword "open-source". Have you ever had to target your B2B feature set? In one step? We have come to know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to innovate nano-extensibly. If you leverage holistically, you may have to optimize intuitively. We think that most cutting-edge, blog-based web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. The content factor is backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reporting but our power to target. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling emerging affiliate-based aggregation? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Think world-class. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Right now? Think user-defined. We will benchmark the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "out-of-the-box, cutting-edge". What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? What does the standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? We will scale up our power to transition without lessening our aptitude to syndicate. Imagine a combination of OWL and FOAF. Without adequate aggregation, e-markets are forced to become sticky. Think reality-based. We will engage the aptitude of networks to leverage. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. A company that can matrix easily will (at some point) be able to engineer easily. We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to enhance strategically than to revolutionize holistically. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be collaborative? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be magnetic, extensible? Without preplanned partnerships, returns-on-investment are forced to become seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform, innovative? What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The technologies factor is enterprise. Think magnetic.