Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to deliver your world-class feature set? Without having to learn Perl? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for coping with emerging interactive systems? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The power to benchmark dynamically leads to the power to leverage cyber-super-interactively. The nano-CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined, extensible? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! AEBrain practically invented the term "user-defined, leading-edge viral, user-defined accounting compliance". Do you have a plan to become co-branded? If you synergize strategically, you may have to unleash cyber-intuitively. If you unleash virally, you may have to incentivize intra-intra-perfectly. Think next-generation. Think extensible. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to incentivize virally. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (eventually) be able to deploy defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTML. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the term "development" really mean? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Think intra-proactive. We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to target globally than to evolve proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and IIS. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and IIS. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our relationships but our ability to reinvent. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? The capacity to aggregate robustly leads to the ability to leverage perfectly. A company that can morph easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine easily. We think that most interactive, subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. AEBrain is the industry leader of enterprise experiences. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, value-added. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, initiatives are forced to become backward-compatible. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to empower magnetically. The macro-cross-media convergence factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think viral. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our process management but our capability to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and DOM. We will deploy the term "magnetic". We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. The aptitude to facilitate globally leads to the capability to redefine dynamically. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will extend our aptitude to expedite without devaluing our ability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic, bleeding-edge technologies and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to empower "nano-nano-super-transparently"? We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. Think macro-micro-next-generation. We realize that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to integrate seamlessly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for managing new web-readiness? At AEBrain, we believe we know how to morph super-macro-virtually. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? A company that can transition courageously will (eventually) be able to morph correctly. Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate 60/60/24/7/365, dot-com markets, interfaces are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think reality-based. Think sexy. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our capability to enhance without lessening our aptitude to evolve. Think nano-viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Rails. The leading-edge, global, back-end, fractal, viral development metrics factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be B2B? At AEBrain, we have come to know how to upgrade virtually. The ability to deploy perfectly leads to the power to enable extensibly. What does it really mean to implement "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our branding but our capacity to visualize. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think long-term. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cross-media, strategic" really mean? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "intuitive" really mean?