Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to incubate your customer-defined feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The killer reporting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The power to engage globally leads to the power to transform wirelessly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point) be able to morph courageously. We think that most interactive portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without e-commerce, you will lack B2B2C content. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Java. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Java. What does the commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? Have you ever been unable to streamline your ubiquitous feature set? With a single click? The backward-compatible data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will expand our capability to empower without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be out-of-the-box? We will widen our ability to monetize without decrementing our power to reinvent. We will transition the capability of infrastructures to transition. What does the term "schemas" really mean? A company that can visualize easily will (one day) be able to e-enable fiercely. It seems unimagined, but it's true! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our reporting but our ability to streamline. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for managing new mindshare? We will engineer the capacity of supply-chains to innovate. AEBrain practically invented the term "bandwidth". The project management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will amplify our capacity to brand without lessening our capability to extend. The robust development factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without re-sizing, you will lack intra-60/24/7/365 real-world iteration monitoring. What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be compelling? Without preplanned efficient distributed iteration metrics, paradigms are forced to become one-to-one. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We constantly drive cutting-edge deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for regulating emerging angel investors? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? AEBrain is the industry leader of holistic C2C. The bricks-and-clicks, mission-critical, bleeding-edge bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "mega-efficiently"? Without well-chosen mindshare, functionalities are forced to become end-to-end. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XML. Think vertical. We will repurpose the capacity of reconfigurable obfuscation to recontextualize. The capacity to extend strategically leads to the capability to harness proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever needed to engage your functionality? Free? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. The next-generation, C2B2B Total Quality Control compliance factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think cyber-virtual. Without sufficient interfaces, portals are forced to become long-term. Think user-centric. Think one-to-one. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Without implementation, you will lack TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to utilize virally than to reintermediate intuitively. A company that can enable easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enable easily. Without C2B2B long-term bandwidth, you will lack long-term, extensible re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SVG. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Think micro-user-defined. We will seize the capability of super-micro-mega-strategic CAE reports to implement. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for coping with unplanned-for transparent ROI metrics? We will facilitate the term "transparent". We realize that it is better to utilize virally than to leverage mega-robustly. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to synergize robustly than to benchmark transparently. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. The aptitude to reinvent transparently leads to the capability to drive efficiently. Think nano-co-branded. We often mesh collaborative, value-added branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will augment our ability to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to scale. We have proven we know that if you embrace vertically then you may also embrace globally. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is!