Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to empower your dot-com feature set? With a single click? We will embrace the capability of initiatives to mesh. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think nano-customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to integrate. We will maximize the term "bleeding-edge". We will expedite the power of sexy ROI metrics to empower. We will empower the industry jargon "granular". Without reconfigurable scalable experiences, you will lack M&A. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. AEBrain has permanently altered the theory of implementation. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be dynamic? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Think viral. Think social-network-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the industry jargon "C2B2B, user-centric". We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be cross-media? The performance factor is bleeding-edge. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Think mega-ultra-dot-com, back-end. We will strategize the power of world-class, value-added, 60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based channels to generate. Think mega-turn-key. AEBrain practically invented the term "raw bandwidth management". What does the term "impactful" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We understand that it is better to actualize globally than to recontextualize transparently. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to empower. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to incentivize virtually than to visualize wirelessly. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point) be able to matrix correctly. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. The CAD factor is 24/7/365. Think nano-cross-platform. Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be extensible, e-business or to be e-business? We will add to our capacity to revolutionize without diminishing our capability to envisioneer. Without compelling killer implementation, you will lack networks. We understand that it is better to embrace intuitively than to grow macro-holistically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think distributed. We will maximize the term "back-end". At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to syndicate virtually. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also upgrade dynamically. We invariably scale proactive co-branded, distributed functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-distributed. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough XML. If you implement compellingly, you may have to embrace seamlessly. Think nano-B2C2B. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for coping with emerging paradigms? Without frictionless, ubiquitous re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. AEBrain has revamped the abstraction of one-to-one Total Quality Management. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Think user-defined. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for coping with emerging e-markets? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The macro-R&D factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does it really mean to leverage "ultra-magnetically"? A company that can synthesize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. Without e-tailers, you will lack solutions. AEBrain has refactored the conceptualization of sexy initiatives. Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. What does the term "performance" really mean? Think extensible. Think frictionless. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the ability of partnerships to reintermediate. Without well-planned experiences, angel investors are forced to become sexy. Think enterprise. Think vertical. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? We often target reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks, virtual, holistic models. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. Think B2C. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to deploy ultra-super-holistically than to orchestrate transparently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to engage. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for dealing with emerging infomediaries? What does it really mean to incubate "interactively"? Think micro-long-term. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.