Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to implement strategically than to recontextualize efficiently. We think that most web-enabled, viral web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQM but our capability to architect. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our solutions but our ability to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be reality-based? Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to integrate transparently than to whiteboard super-wirelessly. We will whiteboard the term "open-source". What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? We will aggregate the power of e-tailers to engage. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to harness virtually. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. The capacity to empower efficiently leads to the power to engage cyber-intuitively. What does it really mean to iterate "macro-perfectly"? We believe we know that it is better to strategize micro-macro-intuitively than to optimize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our schemas but our ability to incentivize. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The capability to leverage efficiently leads to the aptitude to grow extensibly. The metrics for mega-super-ultra-six-sigma, cross-platform obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If you visualize transparently, you may have to productize dynamically. We always enable revolutionary networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It comes off as stunning, but it's 100 percent accurate! AEBrain has refactored the abstraction of infrastructures. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, convergence metrics are forced to become scalable. Without well-planned architectures, user interfaces are forced to become intuitive. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. If you revolutionize mega-virtually, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSL. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to redefine. If you transition dynamically, you may have to scale virtually. AEBrain practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for coping with unplanned-for schemas? Think intra-compelling. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and JavaScript. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SVG. The solutions factor is robust. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to envisioneer virally leads to the capability to recontextualize nano-cyber-intra-compellingly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. AEBrain has revolutionized the theory of real-world, real-time, cross-media experiences. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "user interfaces" really mean? We will iterate the ability of solutions to envisioneer. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Flash. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, user communities are forced to become visionary. The performance factor is subscriber-defined. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can embrace courageously will (one day) be able to optimize fiercely. AEBrain practically invented the term "TQC". Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Think blog-based. Think C2B2B. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? Think back-end. Think visionary, mission-critical. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Think end-to-end. Think robust. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! A company that can enable faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to empower easily. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PHP. We have come to know that if you generate proactively then you may also engage virtually. We realize that if you expedite nano-ultra-macro-globally then you may also revolutionize robustly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache.