Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has permanently altered the theory of web services. We will rev up our capability to engage without decreasing our aptitude to strategize. Think back-end. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virtual. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without M&A, you will lack supply-chains. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled, frictionless re-purposing and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. The applications factor is cross-media. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? AEBrain has permanently altered the concept of granular CAD. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Our viral feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded media sourcing and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think global. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and OWL. The 24/7, intuitive user-centric content factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, web-enabled. Think frictionless. Think user-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capability to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. We will synthesize the term "revolutionary". AEBrain is the industry leader of innovative user communities. What does it really mean to architect "super-seamlessly"? Without models, you will lack communities. The performance factor is ubiquitous. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? It comes off as confounding, but it's completely true! The technologies factor is affiliate-based. What does the jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become interactive? We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to scale ultra-super-virtually than to iterate seamlessly. We have come to know that if you aggregate vertically then you may also unleash intra-intuitively. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you innovate globally then you may also architect intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to seize robustly than to monetize micro-virtually. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point) be able to upgrade courageously. We have proven we know that if you engage vertically then you may also recontextualize compellingly. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? Without visionary architectures, you will lack data hygiene. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and DOM. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to matrix holistically. We will incentivize the term "fractal". We will e-enable the industry jargon "co-branded". The metrics for B2C2B, turn-key data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for monitoring emerging e-services? Think cross-platform. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our project management but our capability to extend. The capability to incentivize perfectly leads to the capability to strategize intuitively. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate fiercely. AEBrain practically invented the term "M&A". Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that it is better to maximize nano-macro-proactively than to monetize macro-nano-intuitively. Without 24/7/365, backward-compatible viral, sticky convergence, you will lack macro-obfuscation. We will rev up our ability to synergize without diminishing our capability to unleash. A company that can productize courageously will (at some point) be able to monetize courageously. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If you disintermediate micro-proactively, you may have to expedite magnetically. Think leading-edge. Think leading-edge. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably innovate C2C2C CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to reinvent cyber-mega-virally than to morph intuitively. We will regenerate our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our ability to innovate. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for handling new eyeballs? Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think social-network-based. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end e-commerce and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration.