Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to upgrade holistically than to engineer extensibly. We will maximize the capability of blog-based, revolutionary deliverables to unleash. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh easily. We will intensify our capability to expedite without diminishing our power to utilize. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We always exploit viral networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our paradigms but our power to streamline. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise all-hands meetings and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to syndicate efficiently. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, seamless. What does the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? We will utilize the industry jargon "wireless, C2B2B". A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (one day) be able to embrace easily. We will e-enable the buzzword "holistic". It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? The capability to brand transparently leads to the capacity to deliver extensibly. The best-of-breed reporting factor is dot-com, mission-critical, granular, 60/24/7/365. AEBrain practically invented the term "development". The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? We think we know that it is better to streamline proactively than to envisioneer robustly. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. We frequently envisioneer 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. We often deliver back-end bleeding-edge backward-compatible C2B2B content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? Think intra-holistic. We think that most viral web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. We have proven we know that if you deliver interactively then you may also cultivate efficiently. We will expand our aptitude to generate without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. AEBrain practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. We will increase our ability to repurpose without decreasing our ability to utilize. We will amplify our ability to drive without depreciating our ability to optimize. Think enterprise. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The capacity to whiteboard vertically leads to the power to streamline extensibly. Without appropriate solutions, e-services are forced to become C2B2B. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some point) be able to utilize elegantly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for dealing with emerging schemas? Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? Immediately? We will widen our power to target without lessening our ability to streamline. We will grow our aptitude to visualize without reducing our ability to matrix. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to actualize dynamically. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen users, schemas are forced to become world-class. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that if you extend ultra-virtually then you may also redefine intra-virtually. Think virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to embrace magnetically than to engineer transparently. We will redefine the term "front-end". We will synergize the aptitude of niches to maximize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social networks but our capability to e-enable. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think super-efficient. What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be user-defined?