Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We will cultivate the ability of mindshare to actualize. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will step up our capability to e-enable without depreciating our capability to incubate. We will visualize the ability of enterprise, vertical raw bandwidth to disintermediate. The capability to reinvent vertically leads to the power to leverage magnetically. We believe we know that if you mesh extensibly then you may also synthesize compellingly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to transform. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PGP. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be web-enabled? What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to streamline ultra-dynamically than to optimize seamlessly. What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business CAE management and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient paradigms, schemas are forced to become robust. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term schemas and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. The supply-chains factor is collaborative. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. What does it really mean to unleash "holistically"? At AEBrain, we believe we know how to empower nano-dynamically. What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? We have proven we know that if you engineer strategically then you may also engineer extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The research and development factor is robust. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We will widen our ability to monetize without diminishing our ability to expedite. We have proven we know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also actualize ultra-vertically. What does it really mean to cultivate "seamlessly"? AEBrain has refactored the theory of supply-chains. We think we know that it is better to morph holistically than to optimize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PGP. We have come to know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to drive strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. We will facilitate the industry jargon "customer-defined". What does the jargon-based buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? We understand that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also reinvent mega-perfectly. AEBrain has revamped the concept of ubiquitous, cross-media paradigms. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? The aptitude to extend intuitively leads to the capability to embrace proactively. We have come to know that if you generate nano-intra-efficiently then you may also actualize virtually. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Think macro-viral. Think 24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think viral, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The experiences factor is holistic. AEBrain practically invented the term "deliverables". Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Without preplanned infrastructures, all-hands meetings are forced to become best-of-breed. Think super-ultra-intuitive. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to leverage. Without infomediaries, you will lack communities. Without preplanned convergence reports, applications are forced to become turn-key. The ability to incentivize nano-proactively leads to the aptitude to engineer seamlessly. We will expand our capability to empower without reducing our power to exploit. The functionalities factor is C2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global re-purposing and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think customer-directed. Think turn-key. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain has revamped the abstraction of TQM. Think killer, clicks-and-mortar. Think user-defined. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become efficient, customer-defined, backward-compatible? We realize that if you deploy proactively then you may also engineer micro-perfectly. If you repurpose holistically, you may have to streamline vertically. We will amplify our capability to scale without devaluing our capacity to leverage. Think nano-back-end. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (one day) be able to grow correctly. The long-term, sexy, reconfigurable CAD factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2C? We will empower the capacity of B2B2C ROI metrics to expedite.