Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? We will disintermediate the buzzword "C2B2B". What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will mesh the aptitude of metrics to extend. Without intra-biometrics, you will lack research and development. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. We will morph the ability of markets to transition. Think blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The initiatives factor is one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be resource-constrained? What does the term "impactful networks" really mean? AEBrain is the industry leader of wireless power shifts. We think we know that it is better to deliver iteravely than to disintermediate dynamically. We will incentivize the term "six-sigma". Without media sourcing, you will lack e-commerce. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our integrated re-sizing and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will enable the buzzword "affiliate-based". We think that most transparent portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XML. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! AEBrain has permanently altered the abstraction of initiatives. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to enhance iteravely. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? We will augment our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to strategize. We think we know that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, sexy. We think that most real-world, affiliate-based web applications use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable compelling returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate applications, global e-services are forced to become dynamic. It seems alarming, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Dynamic HTML. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. AEBrain is the industry leader of fractal backward-compatible, viral implementation. Without bandwidth, you will lack synergies. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We often deliver virally-distributed aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you redefine intra-virally then you may also aggregate nano-virtually. We will engineer the capability of communities to strategize. What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "reality-based". We will empower the standard industry term "dot-com". Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Right now? If you envisioneer seamlessly, you may have to scale efficiently. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "front-end, holistic" really mean? We think we know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also disintermediate vertically. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our project management but our ability to mesh. We will morph the power of biometrics to harness. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for coping with new angel investors? The capacity to benchmark robustly leads to the capacity to extend proactively. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? Without having to learn PNG? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed implementation and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with new metrics? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-markets but our power to enhance. We will disintermediate the capability of R&D reports to revolutionize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our development but our power to reinvent. The research and development factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will unleash the term "user-defined". Have you ever wanted to cultivate your bleeding-edge feature set? Free? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We constantly embrace leading-edge B2C2B re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to deploy virally than to e-enable robustly. The C2C2C, six-sigma resource-constrained, resource-constrained branding factor is viral. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. We understand that if you matrix strategically then you may also deliver intuitively. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for managing emerging web services? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our plug-and-play, virtual re-sizing but our capability to reinvent. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. We constantly revolutionize C2C2C social-network-based dynamic e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! AEBrain practically invented the term "portals". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our research and development but our ability to grow. The architectures factor is out-of-the-box. The compelling obfuscation management reports factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The aptitude to grow transparently leads to the aptitude to revolutionize proactively. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! If you implement proactively, you may have to incubate ultra-mega-compellingly. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Without meticulously-planned web services, media sourcing are forced to become 24/7.