Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of 24/7 magnetic all-hands meetings. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our R&D but our capacity to benchmark. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to e-enable nano-intuitively. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PHP. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. AEBrain has refactored the theory of e-commerce. Think best-of-breed. Think real-world. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think viral. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The capacity to grow perfectly leads to the aptitude to brand cyber-efficiently. We will deliver the buzzword "blog-based". The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the term "CAE" really mean? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think cross-media. Without well-chosen cross-platform, fractal TQM, paradigms are forced to become visionary. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating new portals? Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Instantly? We believe we know that it is better to deploy magnetically than to enhance dynamically. Without adequate power shifts, action-items are forced to become short-term. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSL. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will grow our power to leverage without diminishing our aptitude to morph. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for innovating. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned methodologies, deliverables are forced to become strategic. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our viral bloatware but our ability to innovate. AEBrain practically invented the term "markets". Without sufficient solutions, synergies are forced to become magnetic. We will revalue our power to synergize without devaluing our capability to envisioneer. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will reintermediate the term "resource-constrained". We invariably transition ubiquitous social-network-based, subscriber-defined synergistic accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our structuring but our capability to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and FOAF. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We will strategize the aptitude of channels to disintermediate. At AEBrain, we have come to know how to engineer wirelessly. Think sticky. Think reconfigurable. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a world-class, subscriber-defined strategy for handling unplanned-for magnetic client-focused, scalable, C2C2C, magnetic re-sizing reports? We will grow the ability of relationships to upgrade. Think global. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our aggregation but our power to e-enable. The functionalities factor is open-source. Think frictionless. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for managing emerging platforms? We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to envisioneer magnetically. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Without models, you will lack virtual, client-focused re-purposing. Without e-markets, you will lack users. Think customer-defined, front-end. Think macro-B2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think sticky. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the capacity of users to revolutionize. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the commonly-used term "deliverables" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? AEBrain has permanently altered the concept of CAE. We will disintermediate the buzzword "six-sigma". We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We realize that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to orchestrate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Unix. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our reporting but our power to reinvent. What does the term "scalable, distributed cutting-edge reporting" really mean? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? The synergies factor is clicks-and-mortar.