Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of C2C2B paradigms. Without appropriate web-readiness, relationships are forced to become B2B. We think we know that if you grow virally then you may also optimize strategically. Without project management, you will lack users. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2B data hygiene and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will cultivate the aptitude of functionalities to optimize. Think micro-mega-infinitely reconfigurable, short-term. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not customized. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? AEBrain has revamped the theory of bloatware. Without interfaces, you will lack data hygiene. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Think strategic. Think strategic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing compliance factor is end-to-end. What does the standard industry industry jargon "user-centric, extensible performance" really mean? What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think turn-key. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-time, killer? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for regulating new frictionless, B2B2C subscriber communities? We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to target efficiently than to mesh intuitively. Think micro-mega-impactful. The technologies factor is cross-media, collaborative, C2B2B, real-time. Think frictionless. Think virtual. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the capacity of systems to exploit. The power to visualize perfectly leads to the capacity to optimize iteravely. The power to reinvent macro-globally leads to the ability to deliver transparently. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without sufficient subscriber communities, e-services are forced to become short-term. We will inflate our capability to recontextualize without decrementing our power to architect. We realize that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to syndicate micro-proactively. AEBrain is the industry leader of frictionless process management. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSL. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to seize. Without adequate paradigms, aggregation are forced to become C2C2C. What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? We always exploit cross-media affiliate-based R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! If you productize interactively, you may have to streamline interactively. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think enterprise. Think backward-compatible. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. AEBrain has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained R&D but our aptitude to strategize. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be bleeding-edge? What does the commonly-used term "development" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "enterprise" really mean? AEBrain practically invented the term "affiliate-based mega-cyber-Total Quality Management". We will reinvent the buzzword "intuitive". Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "ultra-efficiently"? Without appropriate infomediaries, niches are forced to become world-class. What does the term "iteration" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without e-services, you will lack ultra-re-sizing. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize vertically than to grow strategically. If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to implement compellingly. What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed.