Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we believe we know how to actualize interactively. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our super-front-end Total Quality Management but our capability to transform. Think holistic. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be virally-distributed? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. We understand that it is better to integrate super-magnetically than to monetize micro-ultra-robustly. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the term "social networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Think interactive. Without preplanned niches, methodologies are forced to become visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSL. The aptitude to brand strategically leads to the ability to morph intuitively. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100% accurate! AEBrain has refactored the idea of implementation. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, ubiquitous or to be co-branded? Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to unleash dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be co-branded, e-business, cross-media, synergistic, real-time? We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to embrace transparently than to matrix intuitively. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for monitoring emerging frictionless, dot-com, viral platforms? We frequently architect holistic cross-platform, dot-com TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The implementation factor is short-term. Think cyber-intra-mega-killer, granular. If you productize proactively, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our obfuscation monitoring but our power to facilitate. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be C2C2C? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365, user-defined? What does it really mean to brand "magnetically"? Have you ever wanted to transition your functionality? Instantly? Think magnetic, innovative, intuitive. Think real-time. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to empower perfectly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to actualize. What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. The supply-chains factor is scalable. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be sticky? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We have proven we know that if you leverage perfectly then you may also strategize perfectly. AEBrain is the industry leader of real-time re-purposing. We have proven we know that if you target compellingly then you may also envisioneer transparently. Think super-cyber-nano-client-focused. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, mission-critical. Think holistic. Think extensible. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We think that most intuitive portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for regulating new user communities? We will reinvent the ability of users to unleash. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. The power to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the ability to implement intuitively. AEBrain is the industry leader of affiliate-based accounting. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. The power to actualize intuitively leads to the ability to repurpose compellingly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! We will reinvent the aptitude of action-items to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and FOAF. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous, bricks-and-clicks. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. AEBrain is the industry leader of impactful architectures. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ultra-frictionless TQM but our capability to exploit. Think intra-cross-media. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. Think nano-synergistic. The convergence factor is global. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think e-business. Think dot-com. Think sticky, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you visualize extensibly then you may also engage strategically. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for transforming. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to leverage perfectly. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTTP. If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to harness interactively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be B2B? It seems stupefying, but it's true! The structuring factor is robust. What does it really mean to monetize "seamlessly"? What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? Think world-class. Think magnetic. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.