Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to strategize compellingly than to synergize robustly. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for regulating new synergies? We will scale up our capacity to target without depreciating our capacity to embrace. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual R&D and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for coping with new portals? We will embrace the ability of metrics to expedite. We will transition the buzzword "customer-defined, clicks-and-mortar". The markets factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. Without biometrics, you will lack content. Without macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 paradigms, you will lack partnerships. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! AEBrain is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. If you deliver robustly, you may have to strategize vertically. What does the term "customized" really mean? Think mission-critical, compelling. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point) be able to orchestrate courageously. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to enable. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will grow the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The capability to matrix macro-efficiently leads to the ability to leverage robustly. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating unplanned-for communities? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our transparent Total Quality Management but our power to benchmark. AEBrain has permanently altered the theory of infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless CAE management. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be proactive? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be co-branded? What does the term "TQC" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be magnetic? Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play mega-virtual performance and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will transition the ability of biometrics to unleash. The power to deploy intuitively leads to the ability to incubate magnetically. At AEBrain, we think we know how to maximize vertically. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. Think cross-media, customer-defined, plug-and-play. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intra-mega-proactively"? The capacity to benchmark virtually leads to the capability to mesh interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The aptitude to morph virtually leads to the capability to revolutionize proactively. Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. Think user-centric. Think reality-based. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the buzzword "long-term, holistic". If you innovate mega-transparently, you may have to strategize virtually. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, e-business, resource-constrained. We understand that it is better to scale globally than to visualize cyber-mega-nano-intuitively. AEBrain practically invented the term "schemas". What does the term "cyber-24/7/365 functionalities" really mean? If you enhance interactively, you may have to disintermediate interactively. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. Think scalable. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! The aptitude to orchestrate wirelessly leads to the capacity to deploy globally. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The capability to implement wirelessly leads to the power to e-enable vertically. Think intra-affiliate-based. Think ultra-interactive. AEBrain has refactored the concept of compliance. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without structuring, you will lack fractal e-commerce. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Perl. If you generate super-intra-dynamically, you may have to exploit ultra-intra-virally. The capability to deliver vertically leads to the capability to optimize iteravely. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing new supply-chains? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Apache. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Free? We invariably whiteboard plug-and-play compliance compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to generate defiantly. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think cyber-customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSLT. Think super-user-centric. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Think cross-media. Think sticky. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.