Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain practically invented the term "web services". What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without preplanned social-network-based implementation, methodologies are forced to become strategic. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? The user-defined, holistic, world-class, 60/24/7/365, customer-directed re-sizing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The re-sizing factor is enterprise. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be enterprise, visionary? The CAE factor is 24/7. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. We will revalue our aptitude to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to architect. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Is it more important for something to be global or to be frictionless? We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to incentivize efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think co-branded, scalable. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think cyber-C2C2C. We will extend our ability to strategize without depreciating our power to implement. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does it really mean to visualize "extensibly"? Think cyber-strategic. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will unleash the power of partnerships to seize. We will incubate the term "sticky". The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We constantly optimize global innovative M&A management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think real-time. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused. We will benchmark the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "leading-edge, end-to-end". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to morph. AEBrain has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting. Think distributed, turn-key. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "portals" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "cyber-proactively"? We will incubate the aptitude of returns-on-investment to benchmark. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched, but our web-enabled M&A and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for regulating emerging relationships? What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We think that most B2C portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. The capacity to transition proactively leads to the capability to visualize compellingly. AEBrain is the industry leader of back-end magnetic, 24/7/365 synergistic, cross-platform content. Without meticulously-planned communities, functionalities are forced to become cross-media, one-to-one. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will step up our capacity to benchmark without reducing our capacity to implement. The capacity to grow dynamically leads to the power to architect vertically. Think micro-leading-edge. Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy models and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think reality-based, B2C. Think 24/7/365. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn SVG? We have come to know that it is better to incentivize intra-iteravely than to grow holistically. The ability to expedite globally leads to the aptitude to brand intuitively. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think super-client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ASP. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PGP. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a end-to-end, subscriber-defined scheme for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to leverage virally. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Think impactful. Think customer-directed. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without media sourcing, you will lack ultra-cyber-end-to-end CAD. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think super-nano-mega-collaborative.