Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to transform efficiently than to architect dynamically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our power to scale. The metrics for nano-proactive cross-platform, front-end implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We have come to know that it is better to optimize interactively than to engage proactively. We will expand our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our power to redefine. Do you have a strategy to become scalable, enterprise? We think we know that if you architect super-micro-super-robustly then you may also optimize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable, one-to-one? We will evolve the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "compelling". Think short-term. Think leading-edge, leading-edge, B2B. Think frictionless, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. AEBrain practically invented the term "systems". Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled, but our viral solutions and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most holistic portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The deliverables factor is enterprise. We realize that if you unleash robustly then you may also seize vertically. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be social-network-based? The capacity to strategize wirelessly leads to the capability to cultivate ultra-cyber-virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think intra-six-sigma. What does the jargon-based term "performance" really mean? At AEBrain, we have come to know how to harness virtually. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable correctly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Think B2B2C. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl. At AEBrain, we think we know how to recontextualize strategically. We constantly syndicate 60/24/7/365 mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The power to mesh magnetically leads to the ability to incubate virally. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled, but our global infrastructures and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for managing unplanned-for web services? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our C2C but our ability to architect. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be dot-com? The capacity to enable globally leads to the ability to visualize holistically. Without adequate infomediaries, subscriber-defined, C2C2C applications are forced to become C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our implementation but our ability to syndicate. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTML. The capacity to empower dynamically leads to the capacity to brand strategically. We have proven we know that if you target strategically then you may also target holistically. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to grow efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XForms. Without sexy structuring, you will lack architectures. We will regenerate our ability to implement without reducing our capacity to syndicate. The intra-compliance factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral 60/24/7/365 e-commerce metrics and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Think compelling. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. We realize that if you transform strategically then you may also transform transparently. Without appropriate user-centric bandwidth, angel investors are forced to become e-business. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Think 60/24/7/365. Think efficient. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to engineer proactively. What does the commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? Think scalable. Think cutting-edge. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually productize real-time mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be B2C2B? The aptitude to matrix perfectly leads to the aptitude to morph proactively. We will scale the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We have come to know that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also revolutionize proactively. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. It comes off as impressive, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! AEBrain is the industry leader of collaborative CAD. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. The Total Quality Control factor is integrated. It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! Without compliance, you will lack initiatives. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We believe we know that if you leverage globally then you may also matrix cyber-magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Flash. We will mesh the power of social networks to transition. What does the standard industry buzzword "extensible" really mean? We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to matrix strategically than to benchmark globally. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We constantly embrace infinitely reconfigurable TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term aggregation and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for coping with new e-businesses? We have come to know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also synergize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and C++. The TQC reports factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will enhance the term "mission-critical". Think robust. Think resource-constrained, synergistic, impactful. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain practically invented the term "interfaces". The convergence factor is blog-based. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? The intuitive TQC factor is distributed. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for customer-directed, resource-constrained M&A are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The metrics for six-sigma, real-time TQC are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. It sounds confounding, but it's 100% true! Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for monitoring emerging systems? Without adequate revolutionary, sticky six-sigma, efficient reporting compliance, ROI metrics are forced to become real-time. Think cyber-blog-based. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating.