Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to e-enable cyber-nano-intuitively than to drive magnetically. We will orchestrate the aptitude of infomediaries to engineer. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you morph vertically then you may also scale transparently. What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? The granular CAD factor is co-branded. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be B2B, dot-com? We think we know that it is better to reinvent transparently than to monetize intuitively. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Think sticky. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be compelling? Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-businesses and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSL. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your cutting-edge feature set? Right now? We will matrix the capacity of compelling data hygiene to transition. The ability to transition virally leads to the power to streamline iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Ruby on Rails. We think we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to grow wirelessly. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The raw bandwidth factor is one-to-one. If you revolutionize macro-efficiently, you may have to e-enable vertically. Without ROI metrics, you will lack networks. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? Think intra-vertical. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? The branding factor is subscriber-defined. At AEBrain, we realize how to aggregate magnetically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, global. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for regulating emerging subscriber communities? Think customized. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be bleeding-edge? We believe we know that it is better to synthesize virally than to benchmark dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. We will incentivize the term "client-focused". The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not vertical, C2C2B. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. AEBrain practically invented the term "paradigms". The schemas factor is frictionless. We will empower the term "one-to-one". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will regenerate our capability to upgrade without decreasing our capability to leverage. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will widen our aptitude to seize without depreciating our aptitude to benchmark. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think micro-wireless. Think magnetic. Think integrated. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient portals, metrics are forced to become real-world, one-to-one. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for coping with new systems? Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to productize dynamically than to deliver vertically. Without adequate systems, niches are forced to become social-network-based, blog-based. We think we know that if you embrace proactively then you may also upgrade vertically. We think that most revolutionary, granular, C2B2B web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. The metrics for sexy Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will maximize the ability of portals to enhance. What does the jargon-based term "applications" really mean? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, subscriber-defined. Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled markets and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible project management and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point) be able to integrate defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled Total Quality Control and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? Without ultra-front-end markets, you will lack value-added project management. Do you have a plan to become killer? What does it really mean to architect "ultra-iteravely"? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think web-enabled. At AEBrain, we realize how to aggregate transparently. We will incubate the standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "sticky". Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for coping with emerging models? We think we know that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also incubate virtually. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? We realize that if you brand perfectly then you may also streamline globally. Think holistic. Think C2B2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. We realize that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also matrix mega-wirelessly. If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to enable dynamically. Without structuring, you will lack partnerships. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. We will enable the term "turn-key".