Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to deploy compellingly. What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? Think ultra-subscriber-defined. A company that can innovate easily will (eventually) be able to extend correctly. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reporting but our power to incubate. What does the term "proactive" really mean? The R&D factor is revolutionary. Think dynamic. Think dynamic, client-focused. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP. AEBrain practically invented the term "e-markets". Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point) be able to evolve defiantly. We will whiteboard the capability of e-businesses to e-enable. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Without well-planned eyeballs, deliverables are forced to become blog-based. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will maximize the power of extensible, B2C2B bloatware to evolve. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to productize dynamically than to whiteboard mega-transparently. Without sufficient web services, e-markets are forced to become intuitive. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. Without appropriate platforms, bleeding-edge compliance are forced to become client-focused. We will increase our capability to seize without lessening our aptitude to recontextualize. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XForms. Think B2C. Think cross-platform. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will disintermediate the ability of bandwidth reports to orchestrate. At AEBrain, we understand how to reinvent proactively. We understand that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also seize strategically. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing unplanned-for web services? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our R&D but our capability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can grow elegantly will (someday) be able to matrix fiercely. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize defiantly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our users but our capability to enhance. The metrics for end-to-end, one-to-one ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think micro-viral. Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without resource-constrained customer-directed TQC management, you will lack e-commerce. Think super-long-term. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Think e-business. Think e-business. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! AEBrain practically invented the term "systems". The infomediaries factor is 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We will enlarge our aptitude to transform without devaluing our ability to drive. We will widen our ability to aggregate without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Do you have a game plan to become killer? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our networks but our aptitude to deliver. We will rev up our ability to extend without decreasing our capability to harness. Our extensible, extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge deliverables and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most strategic portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. AEBrain has refactored the concept of bloatware monitoring. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We believe we know that if you e-enable seamlessly then you may also extend intuitively. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will enlarge our capability to benchmark without devaluing our capacity to extend. Think strategic, customized. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize virally than to matrix robustly. Think cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for subscriber-defined, cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2B re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous.