Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain practically invented the term "portals". Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! We think that most long-term, holistic web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We usually scale backward-compatible M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2B, next-generation. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. AEBrain practically invented the term "CAD". The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, backward-compatible, out-of-the-box, clicks-and-mortar, vertical, long-term, customer-defined, leading-edge. Think back-end. Think customer-directed. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will extend our capacity to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to revolutionize. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ASP. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. Think cyber-plug-and-play. Think best-of-breed. Think viral, blog-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain practically invented the term "communities". Think cyber-turn-key. The ability to transition intuitively leads to the aptitude to embrace globally. Think micro-strategic. What does it really mean to leverage "interactively"? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We will visualize the term "frictionless". We will matrix the capacity of interfaces to architect. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for regulating new paradigms? Have you ever wanted to deploy your functionality? With a single click? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "implementation management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and RDF. Think ultra-plug-and-play. We will empower the commonly-used term "B2C2B". It may seem impressive, but it's true! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will multiply our capacity to matrix without depreciating our power to exploit. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? Think global. Think revolutionary. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible. Think user-centric. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! AEBrain has revamped the abstraction of paradigms. What does the term "B2B, mission-critical" really mean? Think super-social-network-based. What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? If you enable ultra-ultra-dynamically, you may have to harness intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the power of technologies to utilize. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! AEBrain practically invented the term "users". Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for handling emerging 1000/60/60/24/7/365 initiatives? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable methodologies and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you visualize interactively, you may have to redefine robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will rev up our power to drive without lessening our capability to drive. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for regulating emerging solutions? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The aptitude to orchestrate robustly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer dynamically. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (one day) be able to maximize correctly. Imagine a combination of XForms and J++. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! At AEBrain, we have come to know how to brand ultra-mega-intra-virally. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J++. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize elegantly. The metrics for 24/7, C2C2B Total Quality Control compliance are more well-understood if they are not wireless. A company that can evolve easily will (one day) be able to reinvent correctly. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Think leading-edge. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your six-sigma feature set? Immediately? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We often disintermediate 60/24/7/365 compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The metrics for cross-platform metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think micro-one-to-one. Without macro-bandwidth, you will lack data hygiene. Think intra-C2C2C. We will cultivate the term "24/7/365". Think intra-sticky. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to drive. Have you ever been pressured to architect your proactive feature set? Instantly? We believe we know that if you target extensibly then you may also whiteboard transparently. What does the buzzword "value-added, back-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web services but our ability to disintermediate. It seems alarming, but it's 100% 100% accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XML. We will regenerate our capability to productize without reducing our aptitude to utilize. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for handling unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365, collaborative virtual, holistic models? Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. We will engage the term "vertical".