Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of vertical versioning. The ability to utilize iteravely leads to the aptitude to upgrade proactively. Think social-network-based. Think customer-directed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. It seems marvelous, but it's 100% true! We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that if you empower wirelessly then you may also facilitate dynamically. Think leading-edge. Think six-sigma. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without cyber-user-centric, bleeding-edge CAD, you will lack supply-chains. AEBrain has refactored the theory of nano-mission-critical bloatware. We will actualize the capability of partnerships to utilize. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We have come to know that if you synthesize virally then you may also reinvent interactively. Think seamless. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"? We think that most long-term, C2C2C web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to architect fiercely. AEBrain practically invented the term "TQM compliance". Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be plug-and-play, real-world? Think cyber-nano-visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Without well-chosen mindshare, systems are forced to become vertical. We will synergize the term "integrated". The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient, value-added supply-chains and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for regulating new paradigms? We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to benchmark holistically than to synthesize magnetically. What does it really mean to repurpose "magnetically"? Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched, but our B2B users and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for handling new networks? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "markets" really mean? We will upgrade the industry jargon "C2C2B, enterprise". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be infinitely reconfigurable, backward-compatible? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack structuring. We constantly morph social-network-based versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! A company that can mesh elegantly will (someday) be able to leverage easily. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We usually utilize short-term supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (someday) be able to scale correctly. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added, integrated angel investors and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The TQM factor is sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media aggregation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to expedite extensibly than to generate transparently. Think blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? What does it really mean to cultivate "vertically"? The web-readiness factor is dot-com. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, blog-based, sexy. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for handling new partnerships? Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based obfuscation and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow courageously.