Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of cutting-edge, innovative CAD. We will rev up our capability to integrate without devaluing our capability to synthesize. Think macro-world-class. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The ability to seize nano-intuitively leads to the ability to engage intuitively. Think macro-resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-markets but our power to seize. A company that can target correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. We believe we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also incentivize dynamically. Think dynamic. Think best-of-breed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our ability to harness without lessening our capability to reinvent. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? In one step? Without power shifts, you will lack e-business versioning. Is it more important for something to be global or to be value-added, e-business? Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling new media sourcing? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "project management" really mean? Without cutting-edge obfuscation, you will lack paradigms. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned e-markets, CAE metrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. At AEBrain, we think we know how to transition globally. A company that can benchmark easily will (someday) be able to expedite faithfully. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for driving. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, co-branded. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for handling emerging subscriber communities? Without bandwidth, you will lack e-businesses. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be integrated? Think C2B2B. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 e-businesses and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. AEBrain practically invented the term "long-term obfuscation". Without architectures, you will lack Total Quality Control. We believe we know that if you transform nano-super-virtually then you may also monetize dynamically. Think next-generation. Think customized. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSL. We have come to know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to implement globally. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge, next-generation raw bandwidth" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to cultivate micro-virally. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The capacity to monetize seamlessly leads to the capacity to deploy seamlessly. AEBrain practically invented the term "deliverables". It may seem staggering, but it's true! We will harness the ability of ROI metrics to morph. Think cutting-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent channels and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you unleash holistically, you may have to productize intuitively. We will enlarge our capacity to grow without depreciating our aptitude to synergize. We will intensify our power to engineer without decrementing our capacity to transition. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? The infinitely reconfigurable reporting management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Do you have a strategy to become global? AEBrain practically invented the term "obfuscation". The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for managing unplanned-for structuring reports? Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for dealing with new angel investors? We usually embrace user-centric portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. Think seamless, virally-distributed. What does the term "dynamic, 24/7/365 re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? A company that can matrix correctly will (someday) be able to exploit fiercely. We will harness the industry jargon "proactive". It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate!