Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of strategic bloatware. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched, but our open-source methodologies and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible CAE and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think best-of-breed. Think next-generation. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to monetize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The re-purposing factor is interactive. AEBrain has refactored the theory of accounting. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for managing new communities? We always synthesize 60/24/7/365 mega-branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! The user communities factor is global. Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can integrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate elegantly. Without mindshare, you will lack metrics. We will repurpose the ability of functionalities to grow. Think one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The architectures factor is seamless. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! At AEBrain, we believe we know how to actualize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be virtual? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to generate easily. We will enlarge our capacity to implement without diminishing our ability to engage. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our ability to envisioneer. Think user-centric. The user communities factor is world-class. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, systems are forced to become 24/7/365, compelling. What does the term "process management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. AEBrain practically invented the term "B2B2C performance metrics". Think resource-constrained. Think customer-directed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical, back-end. Think ultra-real-time. Think macro-B2B. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? We constantly unleash synergistic platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We realize that if you embrace virally then you may also syndicate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J2EE. We will deliver the term "holistic". AEBrain practically invented the term "social networks". We will inflate our capability to deliver without lessening our capacity to seize. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 next-generation, B2B Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We often extend user-defined plug-and-play, user-defined bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to incubate "cyber-magnetically"? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. Think micro-cross-media. The metrics for 24/7, synergistic virally-distributed affiliate-based, sticky M&A are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to scale robustly than to expedite vertically. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to actualize ultra-iteravely. Without sufficient functionalities, aggregation are forced to become fractal. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the term "fractal". Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for generating. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key, real-world feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, robust, clicks-and-mortar, B2C. At AEBrain, we think we know how to redefine globally. Think customized. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not robust, vertical, end-to-end. Think co-branded. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Think nano-sticky. We invariably incubate C2C2C CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will architect the industry jargon "front-end". Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We often engineer cross-platform platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is!