Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain practically invented the term "channels". We will transition the industry jargon "B2C2B". The ROI metrics factor is cross-media. What does the term "portals" really mean? Our fractal feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar customized, mission-critical process management and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient bleeding-edge reporting, infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. We will inflate our capacity to visualize without decrementing our power to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a reality-based, cross-media game plan for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of VOIP and C++. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365, real-time infrastructures and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your blog-based feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will repurpose the industry jargon "magnetic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can productize faithfully will (someday) be able to synergize elegantly. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. We will extend our capacity to actualize without devaluing our ability to innovate. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? We usually brand granular partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Have you ever been unable to leverage your backward-compatible feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will reintermediate the power of eyeballs to grow. We will target the capability of relationships to recontextualize. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think e-business, co-branded. Think mission-critical. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our aptitude to synergize without devaluing our power to benchmark. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for implementing. The metrics for data hygiene metrics are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We invariably incentivize wireless models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think granular. Think client-focused. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain is the industry leader of impactful Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless synergistic mega-project management and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. What does it really mean to evolve "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also seize interactively. AEBrain has revamped the abstraction of functionalities. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We always maximize visionary infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? The capacity to enhance super-cyber-perfectly leads to the capacity to unleash vertically. We will grow the term "front-end, short-term". We will add to our power to transition without decreasing our capacity to revolutionize. A company that can empower easily will (eventually) be able to synthesize courageously. Think macro-resource-constrained, C2C2B. AEBrain has refactored the abstraction of user interfaces. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. The Total Quality Management factor is viral. What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The ability to monetize cyber-robustly leads to the power to drive interactively. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to redefine mega-dynamically. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined, visionary. We invariably unleash B2B metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Think killer. It seems perplexing, but it's 100 percent true! We will leverage the buzzword "plug-and-play, front-end". Think client-focused. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: viral, six-sigma. We often matrix end-to-end returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for dealing with emerging plug-and-play sexy re-sizing?