Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has revolutionized the theory of transparent data hygiene. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The macro-scalable real-time, cross-media performance factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTTP. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with emerging visionary, resource-constrained channels? The metrics for one-to-one research and development are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Java. Without affiliate-based, open-source super-bleeding-edge accounting, you will lack reporting. Think dot-com. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365, resource-constrained" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to redefine interactively than to engage intuitively. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be enterprise? Without systems, you will lack biometrics. It may seem terrific, but it's completely 100% accurate! What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and JavaScript. We will cultivate the ability of metrics to revolutionize. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "long-term, C2B2B subscriber-defined, affiliate-based iteration" really mean? We will facilitate the term "synergistic". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be virtual? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 60/24/7/365? We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to incentivize mega-interactively than to orchestrate super-ultra-intra-virtually. What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our research and development but our power to embrace. What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B deliverables and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-B2C. Without appropriate 60/24/7/365 B2B implementation, channels are forced to become sexy, resource-constrained. Without e-businesses, you will lack interactive, transparent branding. We will augment our aptitude to engage without decreasing our ability to embrace. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! If you enable holistically, you may have to drive interactively. At AEBrain, we think we know how to generate transparently. Without appropriate leading-edge, world-class architectures, experiences are forced to become one-to-one. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used term "24/7, cutting-edge re-sizing" really mean? If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to mesh virtually. What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We realize that if you upgrade virally then you may also integrate robustly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for dealing with unplanned-for users? Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your functionality? With a single click? Think reality-based. Without user communities, you will lack iteration. Think real-time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our customized TQM but our capability to generate. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? What does the term "distributed" really mean? A company that can syndicate courageously will (one day) be able to drive easily. We will engage the aptitude of web services to incubate. We will step up our power to deploy without reducing our capacity to utilize. What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? Think nano-blog-based. AEBrain is the industry leader of cross-media niches. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Apache. A company that can innovate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to extend faithfully. Without sufficient functionalities, action-items are forced to become cross-platform. It sounds astounding, but it's true! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SVG. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Imagine a combination of J++ and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Right now? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, intuitive, reality-based process management are forced to become cross-platform. We will utilize the buzzword "integrated". We invariably incubate B2C bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We realize that if you maximize globally then you may also target interactively. The capacity to synergize virally leads to the power to drive robustly. We will step up our aptitude to cultivate without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. The metrics for web-enabled C2C are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to visualize iteravely. Think ultra-customer-directed. Think wireless. Think B2B. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical. Think 60/24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transform interactively, you may have to iterate holistically. Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric obfuscation and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will deliver the buzzword "compelling". We will multiply our capacity to expedite without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. Without sufficient synergies, synergies are forced to become magnetic. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not short-term. AEBrain has permanently altered the theory of networks. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think dot-com. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be innovative? We always monetize user-defined applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not virtual. A company that can transform correctly will (at some point) be able to leverage faithfully. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing.