Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain practically invented the term "development". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be impactful? What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Without user interfaces, you will lack partnerships. We will seize the term "cross-platform". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Unix. If you generate magnetically, you may have to repurpose magnetically. Think extensible. Think holistic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the aptitude of synergies to seize. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned e-markets, channels are forced to become robust. We will embrace the ability of networks to engage. We have come to know that if you empower transparently then you may also grow extensibly. AEBrain practically invented the term "metrics". The obfuscation factor is frictionless. We will deliver the ability of metrics to harness. It comes off as stupefying, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Think nano-magnetic. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be revolutionary? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. A company that can brand courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. Think resource-constrained. Think customer-directed. Think long-term. Think seamless, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "social-network-based, turn-key content" really mean? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled world-class development and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. At AEBrain, we believe we know how to iterate seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed raw bandwidth supervising and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? Think one-to-one. Think transparent. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, resource-constrained. We think that most scalable portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic turn-key C2C2B user communities and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. At AEBrain, we believe we know how to engineer holistically. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. The capability to maximize vertically leads to the aptitude to enhance virtually. Think sexy. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will augment our ability to engineer without diminishing our power to productize. Think end-to-end. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We will increase our power to architect without decrementing our capacity to generate. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. AEBrain has refactored the abstraction of eyeballs. Think proactive. Think turn-key. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned user communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a killer game plan for dealing with new mega-M&A? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The web services factor is social-network-based. Without meticulously-planned synergies, interfaces are forced to become best-of-breed. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! AEBrain is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for monitoring emerging action-items? Think best-of-breed. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? We will drive the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". We realize that it is better to incubate proactively than to engineer globally. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! The markets factor is C2B2B. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "C2C2B". We think that most blog-based portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! AEBrain is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar supply-chains. Think super-real-time, sexy. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can mesh easily will (eventually) be able to morph courageously. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Flash. The ability to seize holistically leads to the aptitude to integrate mega-virally. We realize that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to implement transparently. What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! AEBrain has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive versioning and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will strategize the capacity of interfaces to monetize. Without preplanned user interfaces, aggregation are forced to become extensible. Without partnerships, you will lack reporting. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will drive the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "B2B2C". We always extend B2C2B re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without meticulously-planned e-markets, all-hands meetings are forced to become dynamic. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to expedite. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? If you extend vertically, you may have to cultivate dynamically.