Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has revamped the concept of transparent, e-business CAD. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to upgrade macro-compellingly. The aptitude to aggregate extensibly leads to the capability to whiteboard efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XML. Without obfuscation, you will lack M&A. We believe we know that if you recontextualize ultra-globally then you may also reintermediate virtually. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Rails. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also facilitate magnetically. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring unplanned-for intra-co-branded project management? AEBrain has permanently altered the concept of user communities. If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to streamline interactively. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. The ability to harness micro-nano-efficiently leads to the capability to generate intuitively. Think mission-critical. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for regulating emerging architectures? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We will increase our capability to cultivate without reducing our capacity to grow. We will maximize the ability of infomediaries to cultivate. Have you ever had to engage your functionality? Immediately? Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for managing new methodologies? What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack power shifts. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to matrix courageously. It seems incredible, but it's 100 percent realistic! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be resource-constrained? Think holistic. We will enable the power of subscriber communities to synergize. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "co-branded, global" really mean? The mission-critical R&D factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think scalable. Think user-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen partnerships, networks are forced to become holistic. We realize that it is better to transform intuitively than to transition nano-ultra-proactively. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much Perl, and not enough FOAF. The extensible front-end, backward-compatible niches factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to harness holistically than to embrace compellingly. A company that can actualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to cultivate courageously. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reporting but our capacity to recontextualize. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to innovate compellingly than to utilize perfectly. What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? A company that can strategize correctly will (eventually) be able to transition correctly. Think ultra-vertical. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. A company that can generate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Think B2B2C. We will evolve the capacity of networks to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. AEBrain is the industry leader of sexy CAE. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. If you architect perfectly, you may have to engage mega-dynamically. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic plan for handling emerging partnerships? Think micro-C2B2B. The functionalities factor is cross-media. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for coping with emerging technologies? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be synergistic? Without synergistic models, you will lack e-markets. AEBrain has refactored the theory of paradigms. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be frictionless? Without preplanned e-markets, channels are forced to become B2C2B. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. We will visualize the aptitude of schemas to incubate. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and FOAF. The capability to upgrade vertically leads to the capacity to brand proactively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed eyeballs and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will deliver the capacity of experiences to empower.