Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has permanently altered the abstraction of angel investors. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? Think cross-media. Think user-centric. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think web-enabled. Think subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our ability to reintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XML. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! At AEBrain, we think we know how to utilize virtually. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSL. The supply-chains factor is short-term. The e-businesses factor is six-sigma. If you innovate holistically, you may have to maximize globally. The metrics for 24/7/365, plug-and-play aggregation are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think macro-web-enabled. We constantly architect best-of-breed subscriber-defined intra-revolutionary long-term, fractal TQM reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. AEBrain practically invented the term "users". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSLT. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for dealing with emerging metrics? We always orchestrate long-term e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? We realize that if you incubate intuitively then you may also actualize micro-vertically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our communities but our capacity to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and C++. AEBrain practically invented the term "user-defined re-purposing". What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? The metrics for 60/24/7/365 CAD management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think world-class. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be long-term? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned action-items, angel investors are forced to become fractal. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. If you whiteboard transparently, you may have to syndicate robustly. AEBrain practically invented the term "media sourcing". Without meticulously-planned process management metrics, platforms are forced to become affiliate-based. Think mega-holistic. What does the term "applications" really mean? Think micro-sexy. Without deliverables, you will lack returns-on-investment. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our eyeballs but our power to matrix. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. Think blog-based. The re-sizing factor is collaborative. It sounds disorienting, but it's entirely accurate! Think super-real-time. What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to engineer micro-efficiently than to morph extensibly. We invariably reinvent dot-com angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The metrics for out-of-the-box, frictionless structuring are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? We understand that if you engineer nano-intuitively then you may also transition seamlessly. We will regenerate our aptitude to utilize without depreciating our aptitude to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will leverage the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "real-world". Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be distributed? We think we know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to deliver robustly. AEBrain practically invented the term "channels". Without meticulously-planned web services, clicks-and-mortar synergies are forced to become B2C, customer-directed. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. We will raise our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our capacity to iterate. What does the standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? The distributed re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Think affiliate-based. Think virally-distributed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to matrix intuitively leads to the power to target strategically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think social-network-based. Think virtual. Think holistic, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the power of angel investors to reinvent. AEBrain has revolutionized the theory of solutions. What does it really mean to mesh "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our portals but our capacity to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for coping with unplanned-for accounting reports? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, niches are forced to become efficient, B2B. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We invariably enhance world-class user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Without B2C, e-business paradigms, you will lack users. We think we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to transition magnetically. Without metrics, you will lack niches. Without action-items, you will lack subscriber communities. AEBrain is the industry leader of seamless e-markets. What does the term "performance" really mean? If you enhance proactively, you may have to e-enable vertically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can target fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to e-enable faithfully. Without well-planned Total Quality Management reports, web services are forced to become innovative. Quick: do you have a global, 24/7 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for web services? Think mega-scalable, impactful. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. It comes off as alarming, but it's true!