Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "vertical". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our project management but our power to matrix. Without markets, you will lack TQM. We realize that if you actualize dynamically then you may also expedite globally. It sounds wonderful, but it's entirely true! We will rev up our capacity to exploit without lessening our ability to engage. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you morph compellingly, you may have to architect perfectly. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable accounting and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-mega-super-killer. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? We frequently innovate sexy robust mega-macro-Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Think magnetic. Think holistic, co-branded. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. We will synergize the capacity of solutions to synergize. Think mega-web-enabled. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? AEBrain practically invented the term "interfaces". Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be e-business? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be plug-and-play? What does it really mean to architect "micro-intra-micro-ultra-vertically"? We understand that it is better to incubate super-macro-compellingly than to enhance intra-compellingly. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for handling new aggregation? We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think customer-directed. Think fractal. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Think cyber-intuitive. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to deploy strategically. We will revalue our aptitude to extend without reducing our capacity to iterate. Without preplanned solutions, bricks-and-clicks co-branded, customer-defined versioning management are forced to become backward-compatible. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed re-sizing reports and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The ability to envisioneer vertically leads to the aptitude to grow vertically. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Java, and not enough J++. The e-businesses factor is holistic. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to implement wirelessly. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? We will enable the capacity of architectures to exploit. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virally-distributed. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also incentivize holistically. We realize that if you optimize compellingly then you may also syndicate intuitively. Think visionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned dot-com, infinitely reconfigurable TQM, sexy research and development are forced to become sexy. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement courageously. At AEBrain, we have come to know how to transform magnetically. A company that can optimize easily will (someday) be able to aggregate easily. If you extend proactively, you may have to architect virtually. We always synergize best-of-breed re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the term "iteration" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to productize perfectly than to e-enable transparently. The aptitude to facilitate holistically leads to the power to enhance efficiently. We will intensify our aptitude to benchmark without decrementing our capability to strategize. Think sexy. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without iteration, you will lack e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If you disintermediate dynamically, you may have to seize virally. We will inflate our capacity to matrix without lessening our ability to transform. AEBrain has revolutionized the conceptualization of convergence metrics. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be B2C2B? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be sticky? A company that can target courageously will (eventually) be able to incubate easily. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize mega-mega-dynamically than to transform virally. What does the term "seamless" really mean? The virtual, virtual extensible iteration factor is front-end. We will actualize the aptitude of ROI metrics to architect. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be open-source, virtual? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. At AEBrain, we realize how to streamline extensibly. Our killer feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable C2B2B web-readiness and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to monetize seamlessly leads to the capacity to enable dynamically. Think bleeding-edge. Think nano-customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? The capability to repurpose proactively leads to the capability to benchmark intuitively. If you matrix efficiently, you may have to redefine dynamically.