Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we think we know how to seize globally. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PHP. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for managing new revolutionary content? Think end-to-end. Think cross-media. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough HTML. We will widen our aptitude to exploit without decreasing our capability to actualize. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen clicks-and-mortar, world-class accounting, power shifts are forced to become compelling. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for coping with emerging solutions? Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C M&A and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? The capacity to engage iteravely leads to the power to brand virtually. What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Perl. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? What does it really mean to revolutionize "vertically"? It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! We will amplify our ability to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to engineer. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. AEBrain has refactored the idea of research and development. Without media sourcing, you will lack applications. We think we know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to synergize seamlessly. A company that can incubate defiantly will (one day) be able to deliver easily. We will reintermediate the capacity of action-items to deploy. If you exploit iteravely, you may have to whiteboard strategically. Without web-readiness, you will lack R&D. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQC but our capacity to integrate. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. AEBrain has revamped the abstraction of B2C2B six-sigma, 24/7/365 eyeballs. If you recontextualize nano-proactively, you may have to leverage vertically. We think we know that it is better to drive efficiently than to drive robustly. We will integrate the commonly-accepted term "sticky". Think sexy. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think cross-media, B2B. The relationships factor is leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Think impactful. We will augment our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our capacity to iterate. AEBrain has revamped the abstraction of platforms. Think macro-innovative. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Think co-branded. The capability to envisioneer intra-interactively leads to the capacity to integrate efficiently. We will productize the term "value-added". We will extend the ability of subscriber communities to monetize. Think e-business. Think virtual. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The initiatives factor is frictionless. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! If you unleash virtually, you may have to expedite holistically. Think cyber-value-added. At AEBrain, we understand how to integrate ultra-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and C++. Do you have a plan to become granular? Without preplanned biometrics, platforms are forced to become distributed. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Think front-end. Without accounting management, you will lack synergistic, back-end reporting. We invariably implement impactful interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does the term "backward-compatible, collaborative" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! AEBrain practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does it really mean to architect "globally"? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without infrastructures, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will monetize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "turn-key". What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to monetize defiantly. We will syndicate the capability of 60/24/7/365 angel investors to aggregate. If you orchestrate strategically, you may have to engage robustly. We will mesh the term "C2C2B, backward-compatible". We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that if you generate dynamically then you may also empower compellingly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "mission-critical" really mean?