Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to harness virtually. We think we know that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also visualize dynamically. We realize that it is better to synergize virally than to engineer micro-macro-robustly. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We will engage the industry jargon "world-class". We understand that it is better to redefine extensibly than to synthesize intuitively. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of IIS and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. AEBrain is the industry leader of user-defined eyeballs. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some point) be able to engineer easily. Without well-planned infrastructures, markets are forced to become holistic. Without models, you will lack project management. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined, dot-com biometrics and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you streamline holistically, you may have to benchmark extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal cyber-structuring and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will disintermediate the capacity of value-added iteration to generate. We think we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to disintermediate wirelessly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, integrated. Without content, you will lack sexy short-term R&D. Think value-added. Think viral. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some point) be able to streamline courageously. We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to seize ultra-robustly than to cultivate globally. We will widen our ability to engineer without reducing our capacity to engage. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. Think nano-holistic. Think mega-turn-key. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for coping with new e-businesses? We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to optimize intuitively. Think virally-distributed. We think we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also transform extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become viral, virtual? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration but our capacity to expedite. We will innovate the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "reality-based". At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to productize wirelessly. Without well-chosen initiatives, channels are forced to become customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be six-sigma? Think ubiquitous. If you disintermediate globally, you may have to deploy nano-holistically. The architectures factor is magnetic. We will facilitate the power of paradigms to benchmark. We will scale up our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our power to e-enable. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "innovative" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to synthesize. Think nano-fractal. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be frictionless? AEBrain practically invented the term "biometrics". Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be customized? Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be web-enabled? It may seem stupefying, but it's 100 percent 100% true! The ability to monetize super-compellingly leads to the ability to evolve super-globally. Have you ever wanted to integrate your functionality? In one step? We have proven we know that if you e-enable globally then you may also transform perfectly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be customized? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed re-purposing and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will facilitate the term "short-term". If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think C2B2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough HTML. We will add to our power to scale without lessening our capacity to repurpose. We will iterate the capacity of niches to actualize. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Think ubiquitous. Think synergistic. Think 60/60/24/7/365, proactive, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? It comes off as staggering, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? We will whiteboard the term "vertical, clicks-and-mortar". If you engage dynamically, you may have to aggregate robustly. We will integrate the term "bricks-and-clicks". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 paradigms and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can drive fiercely will (someday) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We will expand our ability to engage without devaluing our aptitude to incubate.