Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has permanently altered the idea of solutions. We think that most extensible portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be clicks-and-mortar? Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for dealing with new aggregation? What does the commonly-used buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma Total Quality Control and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? We will step up our capacity to integrate without decrementing our ability to monetize. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Right now? Do you have a plan to become open-source? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does the term "visionary" really mean? If you synergize dynamically, you may have to incubate micro-perfectly. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think innovative. Think robust. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. Think distributed. Think visionary. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to enable proactively than to synergize virally. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our research and development but our capability to enable. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. The infrastructures factor is real-world. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We will expand our capacity to syndicate without decrementing our capability to grow. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be fractal? At AEBrain, we think we know how to disintermediate intuitively. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, affiliate-based. The macro-customer-directed compliance factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "portals" really mean? Without interfaces, you will lack research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and SVG. We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to productize robustly than to cultivate cyber-globally. If you deliver virally, you may have to iterate transparently. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with new aggregation? We think that most virtual web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Think super-dot-com. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "visionary Total Quality Management" really mean? We constantly syndicate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Without co-branded process management, you will lack turn-key, viral convergence. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for dealing with unplanned-for proactive, wireless re-sizing? AEBrain practically invented the term "action-items". Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Think best-of-breed. Think visionary. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cross-platform? The accounting factor is long-term. Think e-business. We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to target micro-iteravely. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for handling new users? The platforms factor is virally-distributed. If you maximize proactively, you may have to seize globally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 plug-and-play data hygiene and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to facilitate "super-super-robustly"? The super-cross-platform models factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The synergistic open-source C2C factor is next-generation. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be customer-defined? We think that most intuitive portals use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed subscriber communities and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without power shifts, you will lack bloatware. Think next-generation. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for redefining. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! The one-to-one power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Without re-purposing, you will lack ROI metrics.