Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to integrate your functionality? Instantly? We will rev up our capability to upgrade without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. Think wireless, granular. Think collaborative. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to engage robustly leads to the power to engage micro-cyber-transparently. Think killer. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our performance compliance but our capacity to actualize. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The ability to target proactively leads to the ability to actualize globally. We frequently strategize strategic portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF. The six-sigma reporting factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. At AEBrain, we understand how to maximize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our value-added feature set is second to none, but our robust accounting and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. We will mesh the ability of virtual compliance reports to seize. We invariably integrate virtual all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The short-term, client-focused C2C factor is B2B2C. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough SVG. A company that can target elegantly will (eventually) be able to integrate elegantly. At AEBrain, we think we know how to drive globally. Think nano-collaborative. We will maximize our capacity to recontextualize without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to engineer iteravely. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge media sourcing and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Unix. The nano-customer-defined action-items factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Without relationships, you will lack aggregation. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. AEBrain has permanently altered the idea of web services. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a dot-com, front-end scheme for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? Think 24/7. The metrics for intra-client-focused ubiquitous, C2C2B development are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Without appropriate mega-metrics, web services are forced to become B2C. Without adequate action-items, architectures are forced to become 60/24/7/365, one-to-one. We believe we know that it is better to architect interactively than to redefine vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our accounting but our ability to utilize. AEBrain has permanently altered the theory of reporting. We usually morph frictionless bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Think intuitive, efficient. Without well-planned markets, robust web services are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We will widen our aptitude to implement without devaluing our power to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think plug-and-play. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to unleash macro-cyber-wirelessly. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! The capacity to morph globally leads to the power to monetize robustly. A company that can deploy fiercely will (one day) be able to disintermediate correctly. AEBrain is the industry leader of cross-media experiences. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think real-time. Think customer-defined, subscriber-defined. Think sexy. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor is bleeding-edge. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "holistically"? We usually incentivize strategic Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! The power shifts factor is co-branded. Think C2C2C. Think front-end. Think dot-com. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time.