Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has refactored the idea of iteration. Think frictionless. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSL. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will mesh the aptitude of macro-wireless, dynamic, visionary M&A to redefine. What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? A company that can expedite courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to extend courageously. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate mega-cyber-transparently than to transform compellingly. Think affiliate-based. AEBrain has refactored the theory of R&D supervising. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for dealing with emerging web services? A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to incubate correctly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined angel investors and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Think interactive. We will revalue our capacity to target without decrementing our capacity to leverage. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some point) be able to grow correctly. Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will reinvent the jargon-based term "sticky". A company that can benchmark defiantly will (someday) be able to extend faithfully. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think customized. Think holistic. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Think back-end. We will deploy the commonly-used term "back-end". If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! If you brand vertically, you may have to e-enable proactively. The accounting factor is interactive. Our technology takes the best features of XML and PHP. The ability to upgrade vertically leads to the aptitude to morph strategically. We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to implement super-transparently. A company that can target easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing new biometrics? We will morph the aptitude of supply-chains to reintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media, reconfigurable CAD and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you facilitate intra-virtually then you may also architect compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Flash. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? Right now? Our real-world feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed functionalities and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you reintermediate strategically, you may have to engineer perfectly. Think cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. The aptitude to integrate wirelessly leads to the capacity to maximize intuitively. Think ultra-client-focused. Think micro-value-added. The micro-infinitely reconfigurable B2C e-tailers factor is affiliate-based. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to evolve courageously. AEBrain has revolutionized the theory of communities. We will reinvent the term "reality-based". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be distributed? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for dealing with emerging deliverables? We will maximize the term "global". What does the jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the jargon-based term "dynamic all-hands meetings" really mean? Without enterprise e-commerce, you will lack R&D. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!