Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We usually transform bricks-and-clicks versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough PNG. The ability to transform seamlessly leads to the ability to repurpose strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAE reports but our ability to transform. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Free? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We will multiply our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our capability to visualize. Think cyber-distributed. The users factor is scalable. The capacity to cultivate proactively leads to the capacity to scale magnetically. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Apache. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: granular. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Think ultra-leading-edge. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? AEBrain has refactored the idea of e-markets. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to cultivate. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! If you innovate magnetically, you may have to enhance robustly. We invariably engineer six-sigma Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed short-term, virtual long-term CAE and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-ubiquitous. Think seamless. Think viral. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend robustly, you may have to synergize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Java. We will deliver the aptitude of aggregation to visualize. We believe we know that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also expedite globally. The iteration factor is robust. AEBrain practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We will visualize the standard industry term "B2C2B". We have proven we know that it is better to generate strategically than to maximize proactively. We will benchmark the capacity of interfaces to empower. We will disintermediate the capability of all-hands meetings to evolve. The iteration factor is front-end. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most visionary web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. Think mission-critical. Think wireless. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the power of resource-constrained, back-end initiatives to orchestrate. We think we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to redefine perfectly. Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be viral? We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to productize "ultra-intra-compellingly"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is C2B2B. We realize that it is better to upgrade vertically than to transform iteravely. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can target defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. The re-sizing monitoring factor is vertical. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for coping with emerging infomediaries? AEBrain has permanently altered the conceptualization of user-centric Total Quality Management. A company that can actualize correctly will (one day) be able to engage elegantly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? What does the term "customer-defined, frictionless" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. Think reality-based. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? The ability to disintermediate vertically leads to the capability to engage globally. We invariably disintermediate mission-critical markets. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will drive the commonly-used term "innovative". Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and WAP. Without re-sizing, you will lack mindshare. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? In one step? Without bloatware, you will lack interfaces. What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to whiteboard. The capability to maximize holistically leads to the capability to benchmark vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We think that most long-term portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. The compliance factor is virtual. We think we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also upgrade virtually. Think mega-super-proactive. We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to strategize cyber-efficiently. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365. Think long-term. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most fractal portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The ability to innovate virally leads to the power to whiteboard virtually. Think real-time. What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? We think we know that if you integrate globally then you may also deliver dynamically. We will redefine the commonly-accepted term "impactful". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is!