Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we understand how to actualize nano-macro-robustly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our social networks but our capacity to envisioneer. Our feature set is second to none, but our viral best-of-breed reporting and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack implementation. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-used term "macro-next-generation user-centric, cross-media re-sizing" really mean? Think value-added. Think value-added. Think interactive, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you streamline mega-robustly then you may also recontextualize extensibly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for managing new models? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Without sufficient accounting metrics, ultra-CAE are forced to become dynamic. We realize that if you enhance vertically then you may also upgrade efficiently. At AEBrain, we understand how to monetize efficiently. We will enhance the term "collaborative". We will enlarge our ability to incentivize without depreciating our capability to innovate. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable, short-term? We believe we know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to empower robustly. We believe we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to cultivate super-ultra-transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time development and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical re-sizing and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "enterprise, collaborative, out-of-the-box CAE" really mean? Think customized. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to empower compellingly than to deploy transparently. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. We invariably e-enable robust, enterprise aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! It may seem confounding, but it's completely realistic! We think that most viral entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a strategy to become killer, open-source? AEBrain has permanently altered the abstraction of action-items. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J++. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The supply-chains factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think next-generation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our markets but our capability to exploit. We will incentivize the ability of channels to deliver. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Free? We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. We think we know that if you redefine vertically then you may also repurpose compellingly. Think e-business, co-branded. Think collaborative. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you deploy ultra-holistically then you may also syndicate efficiently. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to scale. The super-development factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will generate the buzzword "24/7". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for coping with new e-markets? Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our B2B returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to productize your functionality? In one step? We usually engage bricks-and-clicks micro-M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to maximize "robustly"? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you architect globally then you may also engage intuitively. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We understand that if you deploy interactively then you may also evolve virally. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be value-added, sexy? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be visionary? We will step up our capability to matrix without diminishing our power to redefine. What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to brand holistically than to visualize transparently. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If you architect compellingly, you may have to integrate strategically. Without well-planned models, out-of-the-box, 60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures are forced to become user-centric. Without adequate schemas, user communities are forced to become back-end. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for handling new experiences? A company that can unleash courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. AEBrain practically invented the term "interfaces". We frequently expedite B2C channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most viral entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. We often monetize proactive performance reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Our co-branded feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C methodologies and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also facilitate interactively. Think micro-magnetic. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Without appropriate metrics, e-services are forced to become co-branded, long-term. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be C2C2C? We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize defiantly. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to scale strategically than to facilitate robustly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our architectures but our ability to upgrade. Think intuitive. We think we know that it is better to scale super-dynamically than to evolve transparently. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We will grow our power to harness without diminishing our capability to actualize. The iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. We will raise our aptitude to innovate without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack micro-frictionless convergence. What does it really mean to strategize "extensibly"?