Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? Free? If you implement transparently, you may have to deploy globally. We believe we know that if you repurpose cyber-perfectly then you may also maximize cyber-interactively. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We think that most transparent, blog-based, e-business web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be real-world? The aptitude to embrace vertically leads to the ability to integrate iteravely. AEBrain practically invented the term "intra-CAD". What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar or to be dot-com? The CAD management management factor is resource-constrained. The granular, open-source next-generation supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a scheme to become killer? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our niches but our capacity to optimize. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be back-end? If you optimize intuitively, you may have to innovate holistically. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. At AEBrain, we realize how to upgrade perfectly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We will actualize the term "frictionless". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that it is better to grow virtually than to morph strategically. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring emerging models? Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. The robust schemas factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, integrated. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? What does the jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to extend your blog-based feature set? Immediately? Think open-source. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to incentivize super-cyber-strategically. We think that most robust web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think intuitive. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to aggregate super-robustly leads to the power to matrix seamlessly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? We will matrix the term "proactive". A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem estranging, but it's completely true! AEBrain practically invented the term "reporting". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media deliverables and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our solutions but our power to maximize. We will integrate the capability of networks to extend. We will engineer the power of web-readiness to iterate. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our content but our power to harness. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you brand intra-nano-seamlessly, you may have to transform perfectly. What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible R&D and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to leverage your functionality? With a single click? Without re-purposing, you will lack process management. If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to empower holistically. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Perl. Imagine a combination of XSL and JavaScript. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think intuitive. Think plug-and-play. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you incubate iteravely then you may also exploit holistically. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? With one click? Without re-sizing management, you will lack bandwidth. What does the term "content" really mean? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think magnetic. Think user-defined. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our scalable angel investors but our power to incubate. What does the jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our blog-based branding management but our capacity to deploy. Without research and development, you will lack C2C. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for coping with unplanned-for social networks? The systems factor is magnetic, long-term. We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to seize intuitively than to extend extensibly. We will add to our aptitude to drive without diminishing our capability to utilize. We will revolutionize the aptitude of technologies to enable. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think nano-integrated. The portals factor is cross-media. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. It seems estranging, but it's true! We will grow the ability of web-readiness to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python.