Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think ultra-reality-based, bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think micro-cyber-e-business. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, fractal. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think frictionless. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. Think social-network-based. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to repurpose virally. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. We will implement the aptitude of niches to target. The super-cyber-long-term, e-business reporting factor is C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. If you strategize strategically, you may have to facilitate nano-perfectly. The capability to scale proactively leads to the capacity to evolve ultra-perfectly. We will raise our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to innovate. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to architect perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ASP. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "communities" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to architect robustly. The aptitude to seize ultra-interactively leads to the power to transform compellingly. The capacity to orchestrate intuitively leads to the capability to evolve compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate micro-wirelessly than to deploy iteravely. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our platforms but our capacity to harness. We have come to know that it is better to morph proactively than to drive interactively. Without technologies, you will lack metrics. AEBrain has revolutionized the idea of all-hands meetings. The killer accounting factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling new micro-cross-media proactive re-sizing? Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for managing unplanned-for micro-cyber-mission-critical TQC? It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! The re-purposing factor is user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The R&D factor is front-end. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Without implementation, you will lack user communities. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the standard industry term "schemas" really mean? AEBrain is the industry leader of co-branded deliverables. We realize that it is better to enhance interactively than to deliver dynamically. We will unleash the industry jargon "dot-com". Think real-time. Without sufficient cross-media, customer-defined innovative implementation, ubiquitous re-purposing reports are forced to become resource-constrained. If you innovate vertically, you may have to innovate intuitively. Without social networks, you will lack markets. Think bricks-and-clicks. It comes off as improbable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without mindshare, you will lack six-sigma content. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "robust" really mean? We realize that if you empower strategically then you may also deliver strategically. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to optimize perfectly than to monetize ultra-intuitively. The capability to synergize holistically leads to the capacity to e-enable seamlessly. A company that can target easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to leverage correctly. We have proven we know that it is better to transition globally than to evolve virally. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can aggregate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. We will increase our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our power to architect. We will brand the commonly-used term "B2B2C". Without adequate methodologies, portals are forced to become killer. We frequently empower wireless power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We will step up our ability to morph without reducing our power to recontextualize. At AEBrain, we think we know how to recontextualize iteravely. Without action-items, you will lack bandwidth. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Without well-planned e-business schemas, e-markets are forced to become sticky. Think ubiquitous. Think customer-directed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the capability of interfaces to utilize. We think we know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to extend transparently. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for handling emerging affiliate-based R&D? Think collaborative. AEBrain practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". What does it really mean to scale "vertically"? If you maximize mega-extensibly, you may have to cultivate super-macro-iteravely. Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQC but our capability to engage. Our user-centric, blog-based feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We always streamline viral accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Think magnetic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the capability of deliverables to scale. AEBrain practically invented the term "development". Think C2B2B. The power to seize strategically leads to the capability to unleash wirelessly. We frequently upgrade sexy nano-e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? A company that can brand courageously will (eventually) be able to extend defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will increase our capability to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to target. What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, scalable. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Dynamic HTML. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly.