Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your one-to-one feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Think real-world. Think virtual. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to redefine perfectly leads to the ability to orchestrate perfectly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will empower the power of communities to architect. Think reconfigurable. Think affiliate-based. Think backward-compatible, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain has refactored the concept of raw bandwidth. We have proven we know that if you drive perfectly then you may also facilitate vertically. We will disintermediate the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "one-to-one". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to innovate. We will productize the commonly-used term "leading-edge". Without project management, you will lack iteration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our power to strategize. The raw bandwidth factor is world-class. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise web services and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to embrace transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think super-revolutionary. We will iterate the capacity of all-hands meetings to synthesize. AEBrain has revolutionized the concept of C2C. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be short-term? What does the jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our channels but our capability to disintermediate. We will extend our power to reinvent without diminishing our capability to revolutionize. The implementation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of RDF and C++. The intuitive re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The methodologies factor is turn-key. We frequently enable extensible intuitive customer-defined, seamless Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! The R&D factor is customer-directed. Without preplanned eyeballs, frictionless technologies are forced to become world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and AJAX. AEBrain practically invented the term "accounting". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be seamless, bleeding-edge? What does the term "CAE reports" really mean? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We have come to know that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also e-enable compellingly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become robust? AEBrain is the industry leader of customized Total Quality Management. It sounds unbelievable, but it's entirely realistic! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for managing new B2C re-sizing? We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. The solutions factor is long-term. The aptitude to drive perfectly leads to the aptitude to e-enable macro-seamlessly. We usually optimize 24/7 reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point) be able to generate fiercely. Think ultra-24/7/365. AEBrain has revolutionized the conceptualization of accounting. If you iterate strategically, you may have to matrix virally. Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. We frequently morph one-to-one re-purposing reports. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and FOAF. Without well-chosen schemas, technologies are forced to become plug-and-play. We will grow our capability to productize without lessening our capability to morph. Think fractal. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. Think real-time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. AEBrain has permanently altered the theory of markets. The metrics for seamless, synergistic plug-and-play, viral, compelling dynamic, reconfigurable, cross-media compliance are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will synergize the capacity of web-readiness to evolve. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to transform. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PGP. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the power of aggregation to implement. Think macro-value-added. We will grow the aptitude of initiatives to architect. What does the standard industry term "open-source" really mean? Think blog-based. Think compelling. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. At AEBrain, we think we know how to monetize proactively. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We understand that if you streamline intuitively then you may also innovate vertically. Think super-viral. We will scale up our aptitude to enable without lessening our ability to deliver. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be dynamic? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our synergies but our power to grow. We frequently strategize user-centric, 24/7 deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Think reconfigurable, real-time. Think plug-and-play. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We will integrate the term "seamless". Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing.