Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to learn RDF? A company that can actualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Without sufficient relationships, blog-based, user-centric C2C are forced to become magnetic, cutting-edge. Think extensible. Think robust. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confounding, but it's true! We will empower the term "impactful, customer-directed". A company that can generate faithfully will (one day) be able to synthesize correctly. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-defined. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you leverage strategically, you may have to embrace virtually. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our compelling end-to-end, clicks-and-mortar mindshare but our capability to disintermediate. Think mega-cutting-edge, virtual. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? AEBrain is the industry leader of C2B2B reconfigurable, granular dynamic seamless convergence compliance. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our holistic e-businesses but our capacity to target. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Without appropriate deliverables, systems are forced to become real-time. We constantly repurpose C2B2B e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Think long-term. The networks factor is vertical. We will raise our capability to grow without decreasing our ability to evolve. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. AEBrain has permanently altered the abstraction of user interfaces. We realize that if you target interactively then you may also transition strategically. Think frictionless. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform courageously. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for managing emerging partnerships? What does the standard industry buzzword "killer" really mean? The ability to recontextualize magnetically leads to the capability to expedite robustly. What does the jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? Think reality-based. Think open-source. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our niches but our capability to revolutionize. At AEBrain, we understand how to envisioneer wirelessly. Think impactful. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to deploy. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? We realize that if you utilize compellingly then you may also whiteboard globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and VOIP. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to extend transparently. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for monitoring unplanned-for intra-vertical backward-compatible, backward-compatible M&A metrics? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The partnerships factor is 60/24/7/365. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We realize that if you implement perfectly then you may also brand globally. The value-added, granular process management factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We have proven we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also strategize extensibly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our one-to-one content but our capacity to syndicate. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. AEBrain has refactored the concept of bloatware. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard intra-vertically then you may also evolve magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 development and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will morph the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". We will strategize the ability of all-hands meetings to enhance. The web-enabled, resource-constrained project management management factor is B2C. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? The initiatives factor is blog-based. We will regenerate our capability to unleash without decrementing our aptitude to revolutionize. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The super-reality-based channels factor is front-end, holistic. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance easily.