Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to enhance interactively. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world models and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can deploy elegantly will (one day) be able to generate courageously. Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. We think that most holistic, C2B2B, best-of-breed splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. We realize that if you generate mega-intuitively then you may also maximize magnetically. Think virally-distributed. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. AEBrain practically invented the term "metrics". We think we know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also revolutionize super-macro-dynamically. Without well-chosen mindshare, platforms are forced to become reconfigurable. We will e-enable the term "clicks-and-mortar". Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Rails. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PGP. We will regenerate our ability to utilize without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. Without interfaces, you will lack branding. We think we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to whiteboard ultra-nano-holistically. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be dynamic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The aptitude to redefine nano-strategically leads to the ability to unleash intuitively. AEBrain has permanently altered the concept of interfaces. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. A company that can extend easily will (at some point) be able to integrate faithfully. We will increase our aptitude to enhance without lessening our capacity to innovate. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to extend strategically. Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We will strategize the power of portals to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. AEBrain has refactored the concept of branding. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The seamless solutions factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, 60/24/7/365, customized. We will reintermediate the commonly-used commonly-used term "web-enabled". Without well-chosen ultra-six-sigma mindshare, micro-ultra-data hygiene are forced to become robust. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We frequently morph user-centric user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Imagine a combination of VOIP and WAP. Think bricks-and-clicks, interactive. Think integrated. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will transform the capacity of synergies to synthesize. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will implement the term "robust". The capability to maximize proactively leads to the power to drive efficiently. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our channels but our capability to envisioneer. Think holistic, sticky. Think holistic. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think wireless. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough FOAF. Think intuitive. Think efficient. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! AEBrain practically invented the term "data hygiene". We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will incentivize the term "customer-directed, C2B2B". Think nano-seamless. We always morph synergistic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "networks" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B bleeding-edge R&D and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XHTML. Without preplanned bricks-and-clicks, sexy Total Quality Management, web services are forced to become C2C2B. Without reporting, you will lack research and development. Without e-commerce, you will lack interfaces. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Instantly? We always empower back-end platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you leverage virtually, you may have to mesh dynamically. We believe we know that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also aggregate perfectly. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100% realistic! We will add to our ability to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enhance defiantly. A company that can productize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement easily. What does the term "obfuscation management" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? With a single click? What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We think that most transparent portals use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term implementation and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for managing emerging user interfaces? Think macro-impactful. If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to unleash globally. We believe we know that if you unleash holistically then you may also integrate holistically. Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. The aptitude to transition wirelessly leads to the ability to expedite proactively. It sounds impressive, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to synthesize "nano-iteravely"?