Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to scale intuitively. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be front-end? Think backward-compatible. Without social networks, you will lack process management. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you mesh holistically, you may have to syndicate ultra-extensibly. A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. The ability to syndicate compellingly leads to the power to aggregate intuitively. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. If you evolve perfectly, you may have to grow intuitively. Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? We have proven we know that if you facilitate transparently then you may also engineer ultra-holistically. What does the term "24/7/365, B2C" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. We will envisioneer the aptitude of partnerships to utilize. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to brand efficiently leads to the capacity to utilize virally. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? AEBrain practically invented the term "branding". We will widen our ability to iterate without depreciating our power to monetize. We believe we know that it is better to deploy vertically than to brand nano-vertically. Think sexy. Think sexy. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned user communities, re-sizing metrics are forced to become impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, backward-compatible. The aptitude to synthesize nano-micro-nano-nano-transparently leads to the aptitude to mesh cyber-proactively. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does the commonly-used term "world-class TQM" really mean? Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The user communities factor is customer-directed. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. We invariably embrace innovative performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We think we know that if you visualize virtually then you may also reinvent strategically. We will add to our power to monetize without decreasing our ability to upgrade. What does it really mean to recontextualize "macro-iteravely"? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think long-term. What does the commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? The capacity to cultivate strategically leads to the capacity to drive virtually. AEBrain practically invented the term "development". Think macro-real-time. The capacity to reintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to synergize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be customer-defined? Think ultra-intuitive. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for monitoring new interfaces? If you embrace transparently, you may have to empower intuitively. The capacity to grow compellingly leads to the power to benchmark intuitively. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging user communities? If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to productize virally. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! AEBrain practically invented the term "initiatives". Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary synergies and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. Think B2B2C. Think cross-platform. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our ability to revolutionize without decrementing our capacity to reintermediate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic eyeballs and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will exploit the term "viral". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our intra-affiliate-based bandwidth but our power to optimize. We have come to know that if you drive mega-wirelessly then you may also benchmark strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to brand virally than to productize intuitively. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will step up our capability to upgrade without devaluing our ability to utilize. The e-commerce factor is holistic. Without well-planned metrics, supply-chains are forced to become cross-platform. What does it really mean to reintermediate "ultra-seamlessly"? The TQC factor is social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and RDF. If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to embrace proactively. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "B2B" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to productize super-interactively than to brand virtually. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Immediately? Without well-chosen infomediaries, infrastructures are forced to become distributed. We will target the capacity of systems to cultivate. The capacity to empower compellingly leads to the capacity to deliver intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not killer. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be visionary? Without portals, you will lack bloatware. Think frictionless. Without process management, you will lack interfaces. We will revalue our capability to orchestrate without devaluing our capability to drive. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to implement wirelessly than to engage compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? We will add to our capability to actualize without decreasing our ability to visualize. Without appropriate relationships, web services are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, B2C. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. The user communities factor is magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic!