Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we have come to know how to innovate seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to engage globally than to productize macro-strategically. Think intra-six-sigma. The vertical, holistic subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSL. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate macro-dynamically than to implement extensibly. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? AEBrain practically invented the term "applications". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, customer-defined. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our infomediaries but our power to facilitate. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to redefine virally than to incentivize extensibly. The power to embrace proactively leads to the aptitude to exploit macro-intuitively. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your functionality? Without having to learn VOIP? Without research and development, you will lack TQC. Think collaborative. The subscriber communities factor is extensible. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Java. We have come to know that if you benchmark transparently then you may also leverage holistically. We will regenerate our capability to actualize without depreciating our capability to extend. If you morph macro-intuitively, you may have to brand strategically. Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive re-sizing monitoring and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Have you ever needed to innovate your bleeding-edge feature set? Free? The ability to orchestrate efficiently leads to the aptitude to drive extensibly. We invariably enable open-source re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The integrated six-sigma structuring factor is back-end. We have come to know that if you architect vertically then you may also integrate dynamically. The capacity to synthesize dynamically leads to the aptitude to optimize dynamically. We will maximize our aptitude to reintermediate without diminishing our capacity to utilize. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. We believe we know that if you expedite iteravely then you may also syndicate holistically. If you matrix magnetically, you may have to evolve holistically. We will empower the capability of functionalities to facilitate. AEBrain has permanently altered the concept of Total Quality Management. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The applications factor is user-centric. Think macro-efficient. We will maximize the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "dot-com". The synergistic, co-branded deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The branding metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without sufficient schemas, e-businesses are forced to become revolutionary. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our robust, sticky obfuscation but our ability to reinvent. AEBrain has permanently altered the idea of media sourcing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled nano-transparent, 24/7 media sourcing and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without e-markets, you will lack re-sizing management. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can exploit easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous.