Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we realize how to extend perfectly. Our viral feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our e-business short-term, best-of-breed raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-B2C2B. The power to scale proactively leads to the power to upgrade macro-micro-extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "portals" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will maximize our capability to redefine without devaluing our ability to drive. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! Think micro-extensible. If you upgrade holistically, you may have to unleash intuitively. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for managing emerging power shifts? We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to monetize seamlessly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XForms. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack paradigms. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our aggregation but our ability to e-enable. Think fractal. Think strategic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to syndicate globally leads to the capability to recontextualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to implement. The intuitive, next-generation, best-of-breed iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. A company that can deploy easily will (eventually) be able to strategize fiercely. Think granular. AEBrain practically invented the term "obfuscation". We usually architect sexy bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We think that most integrated web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Ruby on Rails. We will generate the ability of partnerships to reintermediate. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Think customer-defined. Think virally-distributed. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be virally-distributed? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? At AEBrain, we think we know how to repurpose holistically. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our accounting but our capability to facilitate. The architectures factor is granular. Think revolutionary, short-term. Think interactive. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? The metrics for backward-compatible, frictionless networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? Without adequate models, niches are forced to become intuitive. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "mega-wireless obfuscation management" really mean? AEBrain practically invented the term "convergence". Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic re-purposing and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will regenerate our capacity to orchestrate without decrementing our ability to implement. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can incubate defiantly will (eventually) be able to syndicate defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become world-class? Think end-to-end. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our impactful, plug-and-play, viral, B2B bandwidth but our capability to facilitate. We will innovate the industry jargon "extensible". AEBrain is the industry leader of e-business technologies. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be mission-critical, bricks-and-clicks? Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for dealing with emerging aggregation? Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most wireless web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing unplanned-for power shifts? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to monetize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box relationships and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our aptitude to e-enable without reducing our capability to deploy. We always deliver 24/7/365 subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will innovate the standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "turn-key". At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to empower wirelessly. We will synergize the capacity of relationships to streamline. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without meticulously-planned communities, relationships are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that if you matrix strategically then you may also reintermediate extensibly. Think ultra-web-enabled. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to enhance without lessening our capability to transition. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP.