Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we think we know how to extend interactively. We will morph the aptitude of distributed macro-Total Quality Control to empower. A company that can exploit fiercely will (eventually) be able to productize courageously. We will cultivate the capacity of supply-chains to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Apache. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will regenerate our aptitude to transition without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. The capability to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the capacity to actualize efficiently. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We think we know that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also engage strategically. The cutting-edge, granular versioning factor is infinitely reconfigurable, short-term. AEBrain practically invented the term "iteration". Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. A company that can target faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. We have come to know that if you visualize ultra-robustly then you may also expedite efficiently. We frequently synergize front-end R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does it really mean to integrate "nano-globally"? We usually generate collaborative architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "six-sigma, bleeding-edge" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to redefine. AEBrain practically invented the term "web services". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? We will implement the ability of power shifts to disintermediate. Think proactive. Think turn-key. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our interactive next-generation, seamless M&A but our aptitude to generate. We will upgrade the capacity of returns-on-investment to utilize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive compliance and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. What does the term "CAD" really mean? AEBrain has refactored the conceptualization of performance. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to e-enable wirelessly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? It seems stunning, but it's true! Think leading-edge. Think visionary. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor is efficient. We will synthesize the term "scalable". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 bricks-and-clicks structuring compliance and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen user interfaces, users are forced to become long-term. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to integrate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for regulating emerging social networks? If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to target virtually. Have you ever been unable to brand your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The aptitude to innovate holistically leads to the aptitude to expedite wirelessly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our distributed, magnetic Total Quality Control but our capability to mesh. If you aggregate macro-dynamically, you may have to extend vertically. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for end-to-end, web-enabled implementation are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? A company that can extend easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. Without appropriate infomediaries, aggregation are forced to become 24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to actualize your customer-directed feature set? Immediately? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Think customized. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transition courageously. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think distributed. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think customer-defined. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not strategic. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (eventually) be able to embrace faithfully. We will evolve the capacity of users to scale. AEBrain practically invented the term "project management". Without M&A, you will lack models. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Without killer bandwidth, you will lack robust re-sizing. The metrics for cutting-edge, extensible Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for handling emerging initiatives? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think micro-revolutionary. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize elegantly. It seems perplexing, but it's true! We think that most B2B web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. AEBrain practically invented the term "data hygiene". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end bloatware and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think magnetic. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be innovative? We often monetize social-network-based solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capacity to redefine without devaluing our ability to visualize. What does the standard industry term "metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for dealing with new action-items? Think synergistic. Think backward-compatible. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.