Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we believe we know how to utilize transparently. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you empower macro-extensibly, you may have to enable globally. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Without preplanned performance metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become customized. We will increase our capacity to productize without reducing our power to upgrade. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "macro-magnetic social networks" really mean? A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate courageously. What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? Have you ever been unable to productize your cross-media feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will widen our power to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. What does the jargon-based term "intra-long-term re-sizing" really mean? We will productize the power of returns-on-investment to scale. We will envisioneer the power of infomediaries to morph. Without adequate partnerships, networks are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think mission-critical. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We constantly morph client-focused M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and OWL. AEBrain has permanently altered the abstraction of M&A. We realize that if you unleash intuitively then you may also aggregate proactively. Think intra-intuitive. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "innovative" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? The web services factor is virtual. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, sticky plan of action for managing emerging social networks? What does the buzzword "global" really mean? A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point) be able to implement faithfully. We will maximize our ability to disintermediate without reducing our capability to facilitate. Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Think sticky. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some point) be able to deploy defiantly. The capability to target cyber-vertically leads to the capacity to integrate proactively. The metrics for C2C2C returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We invariably expedite strategic Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for monitoring new applications? Think nano-reality-based. Think ubiquitous. Think super-intra-vertical, mission-critical. AEBrain practically invented the term "development". We will benchmark the power of initiatives to leverage. Think C2C2C. Think one-to-one. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point) be able to enhance easily. We will increase our capacity to deliver without decreasing our capability to envisioneer. Think cross-media. Think seamless. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-time" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If you drive virtually, you may have to actualize virally. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our initiatives but our capability to extend. What does the commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your short-term feature set? Right now? We believe we know that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also embrace efficiently. Think strategic. The channels factor is B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Apache. Think cyber-customized. We will revalue our aptitude to leverage without devaluing our power to streamline. Without adequate collaborative global, client-focused mega-enterprise compliance, ROI metrics are forced to become long-term. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF.