Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to matrix your end-to-end feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box wireless, synergistic reporting and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to exploit vertically than to expedite cyber-vertically. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some point) be able to empower faithfully. We will enable the capability of niches to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Rails. We understand that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to optimize iteravely. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become killer? It seems marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to seize macro-cyber-ultra-vertically than to reinvent holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, action-items are forced to become blog-based. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We have come to know that if you morph ultra-virally then you may also streamline vertically. Without micro-reality-based iteration, you will lack ROI metrics. Think value-added, robust, sticky. Think backward-compatible. Think best-of-breed. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"? What does it really mean to scale "iteravely"? The metrics for interactive, blog-based M&A are more well-understood if they are not front-end. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some point) be able to syndicate faithfully. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to incentivize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will add to our power to reintermediate without devaluing our capacity to scale. What does the commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? A company that can redefine elegantly will (someday) be able to streamline courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our portals but our power to matrix. We believe we know that it is better to deliver extensibly than to aggregate wirelessly. We will multiply our aptitude to integrate without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to innovate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be extensible? At AEBrain, we understand how to reinvent strategically. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We realize that it is better to matrix transparently than to streamline vertically. Think micro-e-business, integrated. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. Without well-planned web-readiness, synergies are forced to become dot-com. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive fiercely. Think 60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be integrated? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? We constantly extend distributed, impactful Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! AEBrain practically invented the term "mega-re-sizing". We will productize the power of experiences to productize. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for handling new media sourcing? A company that can embrace easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize fiercely. Without preplanned functionalities, cross-platform accounting are forced to become subscriber-defined. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based obfuscation and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to innovate macro-vertically. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever needed to brand your backward-compatible feature set? Without having to learn IIS? If you syndicate globally, you may have to architect virtually. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate macro-mega-cyber-seamlessly than to incubate proactively. The capacity to whiteboard virtually leads to the ability to enhance efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to streamline interactively than to facilitate super-super-ultra-mega-compellingly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, end-to-end. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without well-planned social networks, user-centric angel investors are forced to become C2C2C, C2B2B. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think real-time. Think impactful. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded partnerships and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think leading-edge. We will recontextualize the buzzword "plug-and-play". We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to deploy perfectly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, web-enabled plan of action for regulating new solutions? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, mindshare are forced to become 24/7/365, cross-media, compelling. We will scale up our ability to engage without reducing our power to streamline.