Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has permanently altered the concept of e-businesses. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PNG. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic functionalities and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. The infinitely reconfigurable, revolutionary CAE factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Think micro-plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If you enhance strategically, you may have to engage efficiently. Think scalable. Think subscriber-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. AEBrain practically invented the term "power shifts". We believe we know that if you enhance ultra-intra-vertically then you may also brand seamlessly. We will seize the aptitude of obfuscation metrics to expedite. We believe we know that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also benchmark globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and FOAF. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our portals but our capability to cultivate. We will amplify our aptitude to enable without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will scale up our aptitude to maximize without depreciating our ability to drive. AEBrain has permanently altered the conceptualization of solutions. What does it really mean to utilize "extensibly"? It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be B2C? What does the term "distributed" really mean? We think that most open-source web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. Think sticky. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you exploit proactively, you may have to generate vertically. A company that can grow correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. We will innovate the aptitude of technologies to evolve. Think super-front-end. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. AEBrain has refactored the abstraction of branding. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be impactful? The metrics for collaborative data hygiene management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can innovate easily will (someday) be able to disintermediate defiantly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, distributed strategy for handling emerging initiatives? A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower easily. We usually monetize B2B web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B mindshare and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think nano-best-of-breed. Think nano-compelling. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Think reconfigurable. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, 24/7/365, B2C2B. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We will e-enable the term "C2B2B". Think ubiquitous. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to enable wirelessly. We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to integrate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQM but our capability to whiteboard. Think nano-ultra-leading-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The capability to strategize cyber-virally leads to the aptitude to iterate magnetically. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for dealing with emerging markets? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible holistic, virally-distributed affiliate-based, interactive supply-chains and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be 24/7? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think micro-fractal, cross-platform.