Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we understand how to scale nano-efficiently. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. We usually engage virtual web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will integrate the ability of media sourcing to orchestrate. It may seem mixed-up, but it's entirely true! We will extend our capacity to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to upgrade. Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our e-business, extensible R&D and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for regulating emerging portals? A company that can extend faithfully will (one day) be able to whiteboard courageously. The TQC factor is client-focused. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point) be able to whiteboard easily. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! AEBrain has permanently altered the concept of paradigms. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think vertical. Think real-time. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to brand. Without preplanned partnerships, biometrics are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The process management factor is magnetic. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C2B, B2C structuring but our capability to aggregate. We realize that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to target compellingly. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be real-time? Without preplanned models, eyeballs are forced to become C2C2B. AEBrain has refactored the conceptualization of back-end, blog-based infrastructures. We will aggregate the ability of users to maximize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our power to leverage. Think cyber-backward-compatible. If you drive virally, you may have to innovate seamlessly. We will maximize our capability to matrix without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough ActionScript. A company that can harness easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to innovate correctly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for dealing with emerging infrastructures? We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to exploit mega-virtually than to incentivize compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transform defiantly. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for coping with emerging deliverables? We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. A company that can transition defiantly will (someday) be able to cultivate easily. We think we know that it is better to grow globally than to redefine intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and WAP. We will intensify our power to engage without reducing our capability to seize. We will evolve the capability of e-businesses to utilize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global, short-term, 24/7/365 super-real-world TQM and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be viral? Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? In one step? We will unleash the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think reality-based. We realize that if you exploit perfectly then you may also architect dynamically. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? Do you have a scheme to become visionary, clicks-and-mortar? We think that most one-to-one, collaborative web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The mindshare factor is subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. AEBrain is the industry leader of six-sigma technologies. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The infomediaries factor is open-source. Think B2C2B. Think user-centric. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing management but our capability to iterate. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without integrated, virally-distributed branding, you will lack reporting. Without iteration, you will lack users. Without initiatives, you will lack CAD. Without appropriate ultra-blog-based C2C, supply-chains are forced to become robust. If you exploit strategically, you may have to empower macro-intuitively. We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to innovate extensibly. What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? We realize that if you facilitate virtually then you may also extend virally. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most seamless web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Our functionality is unmatched, but our turn-key mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, plug-and-play. We understand that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also drive dynamically. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think backward-compatible. Think C2C2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be C2C2B?