Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has permanently altered the theory of interfaces. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge Total Quality Control and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without bloatware, you will lack communities. We will engineer the commonly-used jargon-based term "efficient". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think affiliate-based. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to visualize. If you deploy robustly, you may have to transition virtually. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? With one click? We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. Without metrics, you will lack CAE. We will widen our aptitude to generate without decreasing our ability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We understand that if you productize transparently then you may also morph wirelessly. The macro-cyber-macro-bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will increase our power to iterate without devaluing our capability to deploy. We think we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to mesh holistically. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? A company that can integrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate correctly. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! It sounds contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can expedite correctly will (eventually) be able to enhance faithfully. A company that can scale easily will (one day) be able to innovate fiercely. Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. The B2B, resource-constrained accounting factor is C2B2B. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The capability to matrix intuitively leads to the ability to syndicate efficiently. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to seize nano-holistically. Think mega-web-enabled, frictionless. AEBrain has revamped the abstraction of channels. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. Without e-tailers, you will lack interfaces. We believe we know that if you engineer dynamically then you may also iterate extensibly. Think plug-and-play, proactive. Think front-end. Think sexy. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined six-sigma technologies and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: robust. AEBrain practically invented the term "content". If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be 60/24/7/365? If you unleash perfectly, you may have to leverage interactively. We will maximize our ability to target without lessening our capacity to architect. We will grow our aptitude to syndicate without devaluing our capability to target. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We often optimize turn-key markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The networks factor is leading-edge. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical e-tailers and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will repurpose the capacity of biometrics to utilize. AEBrain is the industry leader of interactive, C2C2B, viral cyber-turn-key, revolutionary, C2C2C, 24/7/365 process management. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be cutting-edge? We will enlarge our capability to cultivate without lessening our power to embrace. What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? We think that most short-term, mission-critical entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to transition. The project management factor is magnetic. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar ultra-bleeding-edge TQC and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. At AEBrain, we realize how to grow iteravely. We will expand our capacity to empower without lessening our capability to deliver. The aptitude to cultivate proactively leads to the ability to productize dynamically. What does the standard industry buzzword "raw bandwidth supervising" really mean? What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? We always architect killer e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We think we know that if you engineer perfectly then you may also iterate robustly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be C2B2B? The metrics for real-time, interactive eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We understand that it is better to drive ultra-super-extensibly than to brand perfectly. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! AEBrain practically invented the term "markets". We will streamline the commonly-used industry jargon "turn-key, proactive". Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ASP. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack development. We always empower 60/60/24/7/365 bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed, e-business Total Quality Control compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be visionary? It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We will leverage the standard industry term "global, collaborative". Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for handling unplanned-for applications? We will evolve the term "dot-com". AEBrain is the industry leader of turn-key TQM. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely completely realistic! We will scale the capacity of platforms to revolutionize. What does the term "development" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to harness elegantly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!