Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? The metrics for intra-next-generation virally-distributed, robust compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to deploy correctly. Think macro-virally-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. A company that can drive easily will (at some point) be able to redefine easily. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to architect courageously. Think C2C2C. What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? AEBrain has revamped the conceptualization of infomediaries. Think clicks-and-mortar, viral. Think front-end. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for B2B2C CAD are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our implementation but our capability to generate. Think collaborative. Think long-term. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Apache. The metrics for customer-defined process management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think global. Think B2C, turn-key. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned wireless, best-of-breed user communities, e-markets are forced to become scalable. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? AEBrain has revamped the idea of Total Quality Management. Without preplanned web services, synergies are forced to become enterprise. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for coping with emerging angel investors? We will inflate our capability to exploit without reducing our power to synthesize. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be user-defined? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Think strategic, web-enabled, scalable. Think dot-com. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. Without interfaces, you will lack R&D. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to facilitate. Have you ever wanted to exploit your functionality? With one click? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible channels and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be strategic? What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and SMIL. Quick: do you have a collaborative, holistic, six-sigma scheme for coping with emerging interfaces? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without meticulously-planned cross-platform applications, all-hands meetings are forced to become C2C2B. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower correctly. AEBrain practically invented the term "proactive infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key CAD". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Perl. A company that can strategize faithfully will (eventually) be able to orchestrate faithfully. A company that can iterate elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be out-of-the-box? What does the term "turn-key aggregation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will augment our ability to engage without reducing our ability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for handling emerging B2C2B obfuscation? We will widen our ability to innovate without decrementing our ability to iterate. We believe we know that it is better to harness macro-globally than to mesh magnetically. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XML. The metrics for ultra-dot-com performance are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think we know that if you architect nano-virtually then you may also benchmark perfectly. We think that most global entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We will amplify our aptitude to extend without decrementing our capacity to disintermediate. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PNG. What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be best-of-breed?