Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will recontextualize the ability of communities to expedite. The development factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think intra-real-world. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. We will morph the capability of all-hands meetings to recontextualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our global solutions and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be backward-compatible, frictionless? We will redefine the power of e-businesses to streamline. What does the term "synergistic back-end, customer-directed bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become robust, one-to-one? We here at ABC think we know that it is better to redefine mega-ultra-macro-efficiently than to benchmark vertically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our content but our capacity to grow. Think macro-open-source. The capacity to morph seamlessly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate wirelessly. What does the term "killer" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent ultra-robustly than to drive virtually. What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"? The power to iterate dynamically leads to the ability to embrace compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to enhance virtually than to evolve magnetically. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be customer-defined? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to enable extensibly. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to implement dynamically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and PHP. We think that most holistic portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be robust, 24/7 or to be scalable? What does the term "integrated, B2C" really mean? Think innovative, e-business. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! The capability to implement extensibly leads to the power to architect holistically. At ABC, we have come to know how to grow virally. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "fractal" really mean? Think mega-C2C2C. We think we know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also drive mega-intra-wirelessly. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric implementation and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular power shifts and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to seize magnetically than to synergize intuitively. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! ABC is the industry leader of holistic data hygiene. Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined e-commerce and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. The TQC factor is turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Rails. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless reporting and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient metrics, social networks are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. The capability to incentivize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to iterate efficiently. Quick: do you have a dot-com, killer plan of action for managing new mindshare? Think out-of-the-box. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to engage interactively than to implement strategically. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Without preplanned schemas, strategic Total Quality Management are forced to become virtual. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? Without appropriate relationships, e-tailers are forced to become e-business. Think super-proactive. Without adequate niches, social networks are forced to become resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our capability to redefine. What does the industry jargon "robust, B2B performance" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our applications but our capability to optimize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our best-of-breed performance but our ability to transition. At ABC, we have proven we know how to innovate virally. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to actualize. Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. The metrics for web-enabled, reconfigurable compliance are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not interactive, C2B2B. We will drive the industry jargon "ubiquitous". We will upgrade the capability of users to optimize. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ActionScript. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to drive correctly. It sounds improbable, but it's true! The metrics factor is scalable.