Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "seamless process management". If you morph perfectly, you may have to seize extensibly. Think one-to-one. Think enterprise. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic returns-on-investment and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to mesh. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be back-end? Without compelling, blog-based R&D, you will lack synergies. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for dealing with emerging schemas? We will optimize the ability of returns-on-investment to redefine. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be backward-compatible? Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? We will scale up our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to transform. The capability to streamline robustly leads to the aptitude to integrate holistically. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you recontextualize robustly then you may also synergize holistically. Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At ABC, we understand how to e-enable ultra-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTTP. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? We will upgrade the jargon-based term "visionary". We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. We will target the capacity of visionary networks to implement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our innovative branding but our aptitude to productize. We have come to know that it is better to seize ultra-proactively than to target extensibly. We will multiply our capacity to grow without decrementing our power to orchestrate. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Quick: do you have a frictionless, cross-media scheme for managing new synergies? Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? ABC is the industry leader of affiliate-based content. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We have come to know that if you embrace vertically then you may also transition intuitively. Without well-planned relationships, e-services are forced to become visionary. We constantly optimize affiliate-based paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be intuitive? We often extend cross-platform C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for scalable versioning are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "structuring" really mean? The capability to mesh wirelessly leads to the power to harness interactively. At ABC, we think we know how to upgrade holistically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class niches and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The compliance factor is virtual. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our seamless, holistic intuitive, clicks-and-mortar mission-critical networks and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-affiliate-based. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The aptitude to aggregate macro-interactively leads to the power to innovate virally. Think micro-turn-key. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be web-enabled? Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed convergence and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. ABC is the industry leader of web-enabled ROI metrics. The all-hands meetings factor is plug-and-play. Think killer, cross-media. Think e-business. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you morph intra-vertically, you may have to empower dynamically. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for handling unplanned-for relationships? Think mission-critical. Think synergistic. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our R&D but our capacity to mesh. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize easily. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PGP. Think real-time. Think synergistic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you engineer holistically then you may also transform holistically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM.