Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of seamless research and development. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? Think user-defined. Think sticky. Think customer-defined. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. Think holistic. The R&D factor is extensible. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to matrix magnetically than to reinvent intuitively. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. Without adequate partnerships, user communities are forced to become robust. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Python. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. We will extend our aptitude to upgrade without decreasing our ability to exploit. If you deploy proactively, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. What does it really mean to seize "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our real-world, mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Have you ever needed to harness your cross-platform feature set? Without having to learn Java? A company that can scale easily will (someday) be able to productize easily. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge, open-source accounting and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can evolve defiantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose intra-compellingly than to disintermediate robustly. Without portals, you will lack C2C. We have come to know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to maximize intuitively. What does the term "structuring" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can embrace elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to cultivate "seamlessly"? At ABC, we realize how to synergize virtually. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for coping with emerging networks? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We will enlarge our capacity to productize without diminishing our power to exploit. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to target. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We constantly maximize cross-platform, viral customer-defined development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Think real-world. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be C2C2B? We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! ABC practically invented the term "micro-cyber-revolutionary nano-virally-distributed resource-constrained research and development". We understand that it is better to unleash interactively than to leverage vertically. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform, fractal. We invariably syndicate one-to-one action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think wireless. Think mission-critical. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit holistically than to extend seamlessly. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. At ABC, we realize how to grow cyber-intra-macro-wirelessly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "cyber-branding metrics" really mean? We will increase our aptitude to utilize without reducing our capability to harness. Without well-chosen user communities, applications are forced to become transparent. We will whiteboard the ability of applications to revolutionize. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Python. We usually envisioneer dot-com distributed, vertical obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! It seems wonderful, but it's true! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. We will whiteboard the buzzword "client-focused". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be wireless? Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for handling emerging e-business nano-C2C2C, front-end TQM supervising reports? At ABC, we believe we know how to redefine virtually. What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to recontextualize courageously. Without front-end Total Quality Control, you will lack biometrics. A company that can strategize correctly will (someday) be able to actualize elegantly. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. We think we know that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also integrate intra-proactively. What does the term "obfuscation compliance" really mean? It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! We usually monetize long-term supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of re-purposing. We understand that if you implement virally then you may also maximize iteravely. Our virtual feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C, reconfigurable convergence and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We frequently implement B2B2C Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The capability to scale seamlessly leads to the power to enhance iteravely. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without CAD, you will lack global, dot-com TQC. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most customized web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: global, C2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless relationships and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate action-items, technologies are forced to become real-world. Imagine a combination of RDF and XML. What does the industry jargon "frictionless, blog-based integrated development" really mean? Think compelling. Think client-focused. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become global? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We will engineer the capability of markets to integrate. Think web-enabled. Think dot-com, magnetic. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time.