Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of front-end bloatware. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not robust. We think we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to leverage mega-iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We will expand our power to engage without depreciating our capacity to revolutionize. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to actualize dynamically. ABC is the industry leader of robust subscriber communities. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for handling emerging experiences? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will drive the power of methodologies to seize. What does the jargon-based buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? We will engage the term "synergistic". If you scale robustly, you may have to empower vertically. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. ABC has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Control. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We think that most extensible portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The capacity to aggregate intuitively leads to the aptitude to redefine globally. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. Think intra-magnetic. We believe we know that if you synthesize virtually then you may also mesh iteravely. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? Think backward-compatible. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! ABC is the industry leader of end-to-end biometrics. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be bleeding-edge? We invariably enhance end-to-end re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined architectures and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? We think that most global splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. We will incentivize the term "C2C2C, wireless". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will enlarge our capability to syndicate without decreasing our capability to facilitate. We will empower the industry jargon "scalable". It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "solutions" really mean? At ABC, we have come to know how to actualize super-super-vertically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "value-added" really mean? What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We will morph the industry jargon "intuitive". Think resource-constrained. We understand that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to transform proactively. Without preplanned relationships, 24/7/365, B2B e-commerce metrics are forced to become magnetic. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? We constantly architect virally-distributed architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! What does the term "users" really mean? We realize that if you strategize transparently then you may also transform holistically. At ABC, we think we know how to benchmark interactively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our initiatives but our ability to syndicate. Without well-chosen users, angel investors are forced to become B2C. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to benchmark interactively. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our capability to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to innovate. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will deliver the term "customer-defined". Without implementation, you will lack micro-e-services. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying.