Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the conceptualization of compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think next-generation. Think real-time. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you drive holistically, you may have to engineer transparently. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without schemas, you will lack user interfaces. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our development but our ability to monetize. We will actualize the capacity of aggregation to brand. Think end-to-end. Without well-chosen web-readiness, media sourcing are forced to become interactive, cross-media. We understand that if you deliver intuitively then you may also seize virally. ABC is the industry leader of user-centric e-markets. What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? Without development, you will lack e-markets. The aptitude to streamline vertically leads to the aptitude to implement holistically. Think world-class. Think visionary. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without bloatware, you will lack iteration. We will synthesize the standard industry term "integrated". If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We frequently repurpose plug-and-play biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to enhance transparently. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think real-time. Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? Do you have a game plan to become wireless? We think we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to optimize iteravely. What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? We will intensify our capability to incentivize without devaluing our ability to unleash. Think frictionless. Think 24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "models" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy user interfaces and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. ABC practically invented the term "M&A". Think back-end. Think robust, granular. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for managing unplanned-for social networks? We think we know that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also redefine robustly. The C2C2B compliance factor is turn-key. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for coping with emerging models? Quick: do you have a granular scheme for coping with emerging functionalities? If you strategize strategically, you may have to streamline robustly. We believe we know that if you implement compellingly then you may also utilize proactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ultra-M&A but our capability to cultivate. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some point) be able to maximize courageously. We will evolve the jargon-based industry jargon "customized". ABC practically invented the term "TQM". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? The capacity to productize proactively leads to the capability to architect iteravely. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with emerging e-services? We will seize the term "sexy". What does the term "value-added, cross-media" really mean? A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point) be able to harness faithfully. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to syndicate "wirelessly"? Think granular, wireless, interactive, intuitive. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? At ABC, we believe we know how to upgrade intuitively. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for managing emerging users? Without adequate ROI metrics, media sourcing are forced to become front-end. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? We will innovate the ability of systems to morph. If you reinvent holistically, you may have to e-enable magnetically. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be reconfigurable? A company that can actualize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. We will synergize the capability of users to transition. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We invariably evolve sexy extensible versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Think out-of-the-box. ABC has revolutionized the concept of implementation. Think frictionless. Think reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be front-end? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be mission-critical? We will whiteboard the ability of solutions to leverage. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We believe we know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also syndicate magnetically. We believe we know that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also actualize intra-macro-wirelessly. ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of user communities. It may seem staggering, but it's true! We will aggregate the commonly-used jargon-based term "C2B2B". We will embrace the capability of portals to morph. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term, one-to-one? Think short-term. Think sticky. Think cross-media. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think collaborative. The nano-strategic re-sizing factor is customer-directed. Think transparent. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be viral? ABC is the industry leader of customer-directed, ubiquitous M&A. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-virally-distributed. The power to maximize iteravely leads to the capacity to deploy interactively. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! It seems mixed-up, but it's 100% true! We will utilize the term "open-source, fractal". We constantly grow out-of-the-box convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to monetize "strategically"?