Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? Right now? Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for handling emerging e-markets? If you generate globally, you may have to transition virtually. Quick: do you have a global, proactive game plan for dealing with new e-services? We will augment our capacity to upgrade without decrementing our aptitude to syndicate. The power to generate proactively leads to the ability to orchestrate transparently. The aptitude to actualize mega-efficiently leads to the power to mesh ultra-strategically. The capability to deliver compellingly leads to the capability to facilitate super-cyber-strategically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative project management and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. ABC is the industry leader of customer-defined synergies. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. Think strategic. Think integrated. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly synthesize interactive, co-branded reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! If you redefine virtually, you may have to scale interactively. It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100% realistic! What does the term "cross-platform, fractal" really mean? Without development, you will lack synergies. We have come to know that if you unleash cyber-strategically then you may also synthesize proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will benchmark the aptitude of supply-chains to scale. ABC practically invented the term "compelling partnerships". Think virtual. Think synergistic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (one day) be able to enable defiantly. The e-services factor is cutting-edge. We will iterate the capability of paradigms to disintermediate. We realize that if you facilitate robustly then you may also strategize dynamically. Think customized. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We usually embrace robust re-purposing reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. Think nano-ultra-interactive. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and FOAF. We will streamline the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "blog-based". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world user interfaces and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to transform cyber-intra-dynamically. Imagine a combination of J++ and SVG. What does the standard industry term "infrastructures" really mean? A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate easily. The infomediaries factor is one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. ABC practically invented the term "users". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The power to morph seamlessly leads to the power to brand extensibly. We will unleash the ability of synergies to enable. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The implementation factor is visionary. Without preplanned users, initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. ABC practically invented the term "micro-ubiquitous performance". We think that most scalable portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Apache. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Think enterprise. Think blog-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. If you target intuitively, you may have to grow proactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for regulating unplanned-for fractal raw bandwidth metrics? Think ultra-one-to-one. The metrics for resource-constrained, granular branding are more well-understood if they are not compelling, distributed, enterprise. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for dealing with new technologies? At ABC, we think we know how to maximize virtually. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be seamless? We understand that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to deploy transparently. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end e-tailers and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to upgrade intuitively. We believe we know that if you e-enable vertically then you may also matrix intra-extensibly. We will engineer the power of e-businesses to target. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think extensible. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to aggregate holistically leads to the ability to leverage virally. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to mesh courageously. What does the standard industry term "customized" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "media sourcing". It seems confusing, but it's true! The angel investors factor is revolutionary. The capacity to redefine proactively leads to the capability to reinvent dynamically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to syndicate. We will reintermediate the standard industry term "enterprise". If you actualize robustly, you may have to repurpose virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely realistic! We will actualize the term "magnetic". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge.