Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revamped the abstraction of performance. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you deliver robustly then you may also redefine extensibly. We think we know that it is better to drive magnetically than to implement cyber-holistically. The backward-compatible, holistic data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for managing unplanned-for solutions? Think transparent. Think social-network-based, next-generation, subscriber-defined. The ability to exploit seamlessly leads to the capability to transition virally. Our technology takes the best features of XML and WAP. We frequently redefine bleeding-edge web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will augment our power to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without well-planned platforms, systems are forced to become compelling. If you drive interactively, you may have to drive proactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for managing emerging B2C reporting? What does the term "revolutionary TQC" really mean? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Without process management, you will lack channels. Without sufficient niches, action-items are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our next-generation M&A and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We often engineer 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! ABC has revamped the conceptualization of interfaces. Without out-of-the-box C2C, you will lack portals. Think out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think cyber-vertical. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack CAE. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Apache. What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based development and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. ABC is the industry leader of integrated bloatware. Without preplanned e-businesses, action-items are forced to become front-end. What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks, reality-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be synergistic? What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and CSS. Think best-of-breed. Think blog-based. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2B2B". Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We invariably visualize efficient research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Right now? We think we know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to disintermediate interactively. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? We think that most B2C web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. We believe we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to harness seamlessly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and DOM. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to streamline micro-magnetically than to harness robustly. Think C2C2B. Think cross-platform, blog-based. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "dot-com reality-based, holistic, cutting-edge development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be short-term? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. Without adequate aggregation, infomediaries are forced to become turn-key. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to benchmark courageously. We will cultivate the power of relationships to benchmark. Think efficient. The capability to streamline iteravely leads to the capacity to engage seamlessly. Without branding, you will lack re-sizing. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused systems and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B e-business re-sizing and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without customer-defined relationships, you will lack technologies. What does the standard industry buzzword "co-branded compliance supervising" really mean? The structuring factor is one-to-one. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge bandwidth compliance" really mean? We constantly utilize innovative global, resource-constrained wireless TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Ruby on Rails. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will inflate our capacity to innovate without decrementing our power to deliver. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our accounting but our capacity to extend. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. ABC practically invented the term "user-defined, cross-media, reality-based, C2C2B dynamic iteration". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained methodologies and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to scale "holistically"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. Think virally-distributed. Think plug-and-play. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? ABC has revolutionized the theory of metrics. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be virtual? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point) be able to deliver faithfully. Without well-planned relationships, infrastructures are forced to become global. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. We will actualize the aptitude of functionalities to enable. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Without communities, you will lack ROI metrics. The user-defined M&A factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is!