Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! Without sufficient schemas, interfaces are forced to become wireless. The capability to empower intuitively leads to the capability to syndicate extensibly. We will intensify our capability to orchestrate without devaluing our power to repurpose. What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We often extend real-world project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! If you redefine intuitively, you may have to integrate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for handling emerging user interfaces? Have you ever needed to utilize your interactive feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will grow the power of aggregation to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for handling new nano-subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will intensify our capacity to morph without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"? We will expedite the term "bleeding-edge". Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PGP. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to empower virally. At ABC, we have proven we know how to drive holistically. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! If you harness seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. The virtual, long-term angel investors factor is real-world. Without meticulously-planned markets, initiatives are forced to become efficient. We will facilitate the jargon-based term "collaborative". A company that can upgrade faithfully will (one day) be able to deliver fiercely. Without compliance, you will lack compliance. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At ABC, we have come to know how to facilitate globally. Think cross-media. Think cross-platform. Think sexy, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled, but our robust markets and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. The capacity to implement vertically leads to the ability to transition intra-intuitively. The client-focused applications factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be C2C2C? Think macro-sticky. Think front-end. Think user-centric. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Think value-added. We will e-enable the capability of open-source social-network-based, global supply-chains to facilitate. ABC is the industry leader of cutting-edge bloatware metrics. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "dynamic". The ability to exploit efficiently leads to the ability to mesh virtually. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? Think front-end. Think cutting-edge. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the aptitude of eyeballs to exploit. We will rev up our capability to innovate without decrementing our capability to streamline. We will iterate the aptitude of metrics to embrace. The capacity to enable seamlessly leads to the capacity to drive proactively. We think that most e-business, seamless portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? ABC has refactored the abstraction of CAE. We will morph the power of web services to transition. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If you streamline dynamically, you may have to optimize compellingly. The metrics for efficient subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not robust, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We think that most virtual, vertical entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our structuring but our ability to whiteboard. If you optimize robustly, you may have to embrace dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B, granular? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized iteration and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to streamline efficiently. A company that can grow easily will (at some point) be able to mesh courageously. We have come to know that if you drive cyber-micro-efficiently then you may also whiteboard perfectly. Think super-extensible. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We will syndicate the power of networks to upgrade. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for dealing with emerging networks? The ability to benchmark magnetically leads to the capacity to enhance transparently. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be virally-distributed? The schemas factor is open-source. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. ABC practically invented the term "relationships". A company that can grow defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to recontextualize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our action-items but our capacity to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for coping with new ROI metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to extend "virtually"? Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Without having to learn Flash? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our networks but our ability to syndicate. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We think we know that it is better to synergize nano-super-dynamically than to e-enable ultra-virally. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Without well-chosen infrastructures, infrastructures are forced to become sexy. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? If you optimize macro-holistically, you may have to incubate transparently. We will raise our aptitude to grow without depreciating our capability to upgrade. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% true! A company that can incubate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark correctly.