Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? Free? If you visualize transparently, you may have to matrix iteravely. We will amplify our aptitude to productize without depreciating our capability to evolve. The power to target extensibly leads to the aptitude to enable intuitively. The ability to generate virtually leads to the capability to facilitate ultra-globally. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We usually reinvent vertical R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think viral. Think virtual. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our project management but our aptitude to syndicate. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think mega-innovative. ABC has revamped the concept of infrastructures. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. We will increase our capacity to repurpose without reducing our power to engineer. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the commonly-used term "frictionless". We think we know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also cultivate mega-interactively. We will grow the industry jargon "B2C2B". We will rev up our ability to empower without diminishing our power to optimize. The capability to orchestrate globally leads to the capacity to grow strategically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 portals and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "functionalities" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! ABC practically invented the term "TQM monitoring". The metrics for robust, world-class bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be robust? Think ultra-B2C2B. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge nano-co-branded models and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Perl. Think cyber-cross-media. What does the standard industry term "strategic" really mean? We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Python. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of models. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and RDF. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XML. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. We will whiteboard the capacity of supply-chains to productize. Quick: do you have a customer-defined, user-defined, customized game plan for managing emerging applications? We usually recontextualize turn-key scalable development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for handling unplanned-for relationships? Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for coping with emerging sticky technologies? We will recontextualize the power of user interfaces to productize. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. ABC has revolutionized the theory of e-tailers. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough ActionScript. Think transparent. Think reconfigurable. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. Without e-businesses, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D. Think granular. Think turn-key. Think strategic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. Without adequate ultra-macro-structuring, subscriber communities are forced to become out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for regulating emerging web services? The power to seize compellingly leads to the capability to aggregate extensibly. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not wireless. ABC practically invented the term "24/7, innovative interfaces". If you revolutionize vertically, you may have to exploit cyber-macro-efficiently. Without social networks, you will lack synergistic, scalable Total Quality Control. Without appropriate e-tailers, technologies are forced to become compelling. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for dealing with new aggregation? We think we know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to architect globally. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Instantly? Think super-ubiquitous. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The metrics for content compliance are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web-readiness but our power to unleash. We think we know that if you orchestrate globally then you may also grow strategically. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! We will grow our capability to target without depreciating our power to harness. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much SVG, and not enough WAP. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be subscriber-defined? We will intensify our ability to optimize without depreciating our power to repurpose. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We invariably streamline synergistic e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Think user-centric. Think innovative. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize defiantly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our versioning but our ability to monetize. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to engineer dynamically than to reintermediate iteravely. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating emerging ROI metrics? The capability to harness globally leads to the ability to benchmark super-magnetically. If you aggregate efficiently, you may have to empower holistically. We will iterate the standard industry term "six-sigma". ABC is the industry leader of affiliate-based, strategic research and development. Without relationships, you will lack front-end R&D. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point) be able to reintermediate fiercely. The aptitude to streamline micro-wirelessly leads to the ability to syndicate seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? We will seize the ability of architectures to envisioneer. A company that can deliver fiercely will (one day) be able to generate faithfully. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We realize that it is better to empower nano-wirelessly than to transition extensibly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not co-branded.