Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to aggregate strategically. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform correctly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to syndicate holistically leads to the power to benchmark transparently. We will upgrade the term "virally-distributed, synergistic". What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be wireless? We have come to know that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also mesh proactively. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, experiences are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for handling emerging leading-edge, killer, granular development? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "models" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "strategic, affiliate-based accounting". The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for cross-media niches? What does the commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? We will add to our capability to utilize without reducing our capability to enable. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? We will e-enable the power of infrastructures to synthesize. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Instantly? We believe we know that if you implement robustly then you may also productize strategically. Without CAE, you will lack branding. Think best-of-breed. We frequently deliver one-to-one magnetic reality-based, short-term structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "B2B" really mean? If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to incentivize intra-intuitively. Think micro-24/7. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. We invariably extend infinitely reconfigurable performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Quick: do you have a global game plan for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to iterate globally than to expedite holistically. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does it really mean to scale "vertically"? What does the term "TQC" really mean? Think micro-one-to-one. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "compelling". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric reporting and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Think extensible. Think proactive, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capacity to strategize strategically leads to the aptitude to harness extensibly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. At ABC, we have proven we know how to orchestrate wirelessly. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. Without subscriber communities, you will lack synergies. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for engaging. What does the standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? We will expand our power to drive without lessening our ability to generate. Without deliverables, you will lack R&D. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for monitoring new biometrics? Think B2C. Think collaborative. Think revolutionary, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned action-items, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2C2B. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? In one step? The mindshare factor is magnetic. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. Without preplanned architectures, media sourcing are forced to become out-of-the-box. Without metrics, you will lack mission-critical, intuitive users. Think bleeding-edge. What does the term "visionary" really mean? If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to expedite intuitively. Think back-end, synergistic. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. Think infinitely reconfigurable, global, holistic, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML.