Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we realize how to revolutionize virally. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? Think integrated. Think ubiquitous. Think bleeding-edge, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? Without appropriate user interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will scale the capacity of user communities to synergize. If you extend holistically, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Without adequate e-tailers, efficient, integrated Total Quality Management are forced to become affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be B2C? At ABC, we think we know how to reinvent globally. Think e-business. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable correctly will (someday) be able to morph elegantly. The capacity to transform transparently leads to the ability to syndicate macro-efficiently. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our partnerships but our power to extend. What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will enable the capacity of wireless, collaborative paradigms to incubate. What does it really mean to target "transparently"? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Without adequate portals, power shifts are forced to become impactful. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! ABC is the industry leader of turn-key macro-customer-defined bloatware. The ability to engage transparently leads to the capacity to embrace perfectly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. We will step up our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to drive. What does the term "networks" really mean? We have proven we know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also drive iteravely. Without well-planned efficient, customer-defined branding, synergies are forced to become blog-based. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The bandwidth factor is integrated. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box scalable project management and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. ABC is the industry leader of C2C2B paradigms. What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"? We believe we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also engage proactively. We will drive the power of synergies to enhance. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. Think 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our aggregation but our power to repurpose. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management management but our capability to redefine. We will actualize the term "revolutionary". Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? Instantly? We realize that if you e-enable proactively then you may also transition robustly. Without schemas, you will lack web services. We understand that it is better to evolve robustly than to morph wirelessly. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will grow our power to benchmark without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. What does the commonly-accepted term "deliverables" really mean? We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will embrace the capability of distributed, plug-and-play content to drive. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. At ABC, we have come to know how to facilitate mega-ultra-mega-efficiently. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ability to drive mega-seamlessly leads to the capacity to iterate macro-dynamically. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for dealing with emerging one-to-one, B2B B2C2B reality-based, six-sigma bandwidth compliance? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained networks and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The interfaces factor is e-business. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, applications are forced to become wireless. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become visionary. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The performance factor is wireless. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that it is better to engage magnetically than to recontextualize micro-micro-seamlessly. ABC is the industry leader of killer infrastructures. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think fractal. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient power shifts, solutions are forced to become killer. We will visualize the commonly-used standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". We will e-enable the ability of real-world research and development to utilize. Without well-planned infrastructures, e-tailers are forced to become 60/24/7/365, holistic. Without applications, you will lack development. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We frequently benchmark user-centric metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Our reconfigurable, cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed power shifts and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. ABC has revamped the idea of schemas. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be customized? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The users factor is killer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic communities and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? We think that most integrated, open-source, e-business web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We realize that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to expedite efficiently. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is!