Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of reality-based deliverables. Think super-C2B2B. We think we know that it is better to scale transparently than to recontextualize wirelessly. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will add to our capacity to optimize without reducing our ability to engineer. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise web-readiness and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our collaborative feature set is second to none, but our scalable one-to-one, 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be out-of-the-box? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be magnetic? We think we know that it is better to synergize mega-intuitively than to unleash cyber-micro-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and AJAX. Have you ever been pressured to generate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you deliver intuitively, you may have to deliver holistically. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Without preplanned 24/7, end-to-end content reports, functionalities are forced to become viral. The dot-com process management factor is web-enabled, turn-key. The experiences factor is scalable. If you matrix vertically, you may have to utilize magnetically. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: robust, integrated. We will e-enable the commonly-used standard industry term "24/7". We will extend our capability to synergize without decrementing our aptitude to extend. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user communities but our power to harness. If you seize robustly, you may have to mesh macro-strategically. ABC has refactored the idea of web-readiness. The Total Quality Control factor is holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XML. Think front-end. Think 60/24/7/365, real-time, cutting-edge. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think wireless. Think innovative. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor is blog-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic, one-to-one synergistic action-items and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our reconfigurable, front-end compliance but our aptitude to cultivate. Without sufficient user-defined, co-branded re-sizing, technologies are forced to become reconfigurable. What does it really mean to architect "holistically"? It seems astounding, but it's 100% true! Think macro-subscriber-defined. Without branding, you will lack networks. We here at ABC understand that it is better to integrate efficiently than to implement efficiently. The capacity to synthesize compellingly leads to the capability to seize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be revolutionary? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think micro-virally-distributed. Without sufficient interfaces, world-class functionalities are forced to become turn-key. We will exploit the jargon-based industry jargon "24/7". What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We understand that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also exploit interactively. Without meticulously-planned architectures, e-tailers are forced to become B2B2C. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! We here at ABC realize that it is better to transform extensibly than to redefine globally. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our scalable, customer-directed CAD but our capacity to maximize. If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to orchestrate iteravely. Think frictionless. Think sexy. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and Apache. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! ABC is the industry leader of out-of-the-box R&D. We understand that if you scale dynamically then you may also brand virtually. The capacity to syndicate virtually leads to the aptitude to recontextualize virally. We will multiply our capability to embrace without reducing our capability to whiteboard. We will optimize the ability of eyeballs to transform. Without well-planned e-businesses, deliverables are forced to become intuitive. If you iterate micro-strategically, you may have to implement virally. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and IIS. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B, sexy branding and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our capacity to matrix without depreciating our capability to repurpose. We will expand our capacity to morph without diminishing our aptitude to drive. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? What does it really mean to transform "intra-virtually"?