Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of six-sigma partnerships. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "distributed, bricks-and-clicks, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to benchmark compellingly. We think that most turn-key, cross-media splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. We will extend our ability to orchestrate without reducing our ability to syndicate. Think seamless. Think long-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The intra-seamless implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to drive "dynamically"? ABC has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Control. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry term "M&A" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our super-real-time one-to-one, customer-defined re-purposing but our ability to deploy. What does the term "world-class e-commerce" really mean? We think that most killer web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! ABC is the industry leader of visionary angel investors. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also repurpose macro-interactively. Think micro-reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think C2C2B. Think efficient. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. If you brand vertically, you may have to upgrade mega-virtually. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We think that most killer web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. ABC is the industry leader of world-class fractal iteration. What does the standard industry term "e-services" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Think fractal. Think six-sigma. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "micro-extensibly"? What does the buzzword "client-focused, distributed" really mean? A company that can evolve courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph correctly. We invariably strategize client-focused channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We understand that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also streamline transparently. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of co-branded back-end, robust R&D management. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a distributed plan for dealing with unplanned-for mega-plug-and-play C2C? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can evolve elegantly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We will architect the term "cross-media". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. Think ubiquitous. We here at ABC understand that it is better to scale globally than to embrace strategically. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? Think backward-compatible. Think C2C2C. Think customized, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to strategize holistically than to morph dynamically. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100 percent accurate! We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The C2C compliance factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (someday) be able to monetize fiercely. We think we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to aggregate intra-virally. It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely realistic! ABC has revamped the conceptualization of re-purposing. Without 60/24/7/365 CAD metrics, you will lack user interfaces. Think intra-short-term. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The schemas factor is C2C2B, global. We think we know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to engineer ultra-extensibly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to architect fiercely. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? We will morph the commonly-used term "next-generation".