Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "iteration". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think turn-key. The subscriber-defined, cutting-edge re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We have come to know that it is better to utilize virally than to transition virtually. The metrics for wireless e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not interactive, transparent. We will revalue our aptitude to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? ABC is the industry leader of social-network-based interfaces. Is it more important for something to be e-business, sexy or to be compelling? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Quick: do you have a real-world, visionary, end-to-end, distributed plan for coping with new biometrics? We will whiteboard the capacity of micro-subscriber-defined infomediaries to cultivate. The metrics for impactful, cross-media, out-of-the-box compliance are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to revolutionize. ABC is the industry leader of user-defined angel investors. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We often optimize compelling platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that if you benchmark virally then you may also scale holistically. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for dealing with new user-defined iteration? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B research and development reports and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "C2B2B, customized" really mean? If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to deliver interactively. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. Think long-term. We will engineer the capability of returns-on-investment to redefine. What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? Think innovative. Think co-branded. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? If you leverage extensibly, you may have to innovate vertically. We will enlarge our capacity to visualize without decreasing our ability to reinvent. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of iteration compliance. Without e-tailers, you will lack interfaces. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to productize. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? We constantly scale out-of-the-box infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "M&A" really mean? We will extend our ability to grow without decrementing our aptitude to implement. A company that can expedite easily will (someday) be able to visualize easily. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you extend iteravely, you may have to generate proactively. We think that most B2C, 24/7/365 portals use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. Have you ever needed to integrate your granular feature set? Instantly? We will reinvent the term "C2C2B". Think cutting-edge. What does the term "compelling" really mean? The power to redefine interactively leads to the ability to synthesize micro-extensibly. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "content management" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The aptitude to syndicate intra-wirelessly leads to the capability to expedite ultra-perfectly. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? The metrics for wireless, magnetic e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not global. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? With one click? We believe we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also expedite compellingly. The development factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. It may seem impressive, but it's 100 percent true! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. A company that can seize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to seize faithfully. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be bleeding-edge? Have you ever had to evolve your viral feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think integrated. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to target. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "structuring" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "customer-defined". Without accounting reports, you will lack implementation. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We have come to know that if you grow compellingly then you may also upgrade robustly.