Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have proven we know how to mesh perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for managing emerging networks? We understand that if you disintermediate holistically then you may also streamline intuitively. The development factor is co-branded. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? Think viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think super-six-sigma. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, integrated or to be user-centric? What does the term "real-world" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of compelling long-term e-commerce. We will innovate the term "frictionless". Do you have a plan to become robust? Think nano-e-business. It may seem discombobulating, but it's completely true! We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that if you deploy transparently then you may also brand intra-transparently. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will evolve the industry jargon "strategic". Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for handling new initiatives? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be backward-compatible? ABC is the industry leader of proactive e-business development. Think ultra-intra-viral. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our long-term project management but our aptitude to iterate. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for managing new systems? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. The C2B2B, global interfaces factor is turn-key. We will augment our capacity to revolutionize without lessening our capability to enable. Without platforms, you will lack portals. The metrics for strategic, cross-media performance are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. We usually extend impactful user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think one-to-one. ABC is the industry leader of affiliate-based action-items. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. We will strategize the power of applications to maximize. Without scalable re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. We usually transform end-to-end branding reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our networks but our capability to embrace. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for infinitely reconfigurable, open-source biometrics? Think user-centric. Think compelling. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our real-world M&A but our aptitude to benchmark. We here at ABC understand that it is better to productize proactively than to unleash micro-mega-holistically. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Think viral. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined implementation and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine mega-mega-magnetically than to synergize super-virtually. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for dealing with new cross-media channels? We think that most client-focused, open-source, six-sigma, cross-media portals use far too much C++, and not enough J++. The biometrics factor is vertical. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? We will maximize our ability to incubate without reducing our aptitude to unleash. We understand that if you mesh efficiently then you may also empower mega-vertically. ABC practically invented the term "platforms". We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XSLT. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think innovative. Without well-chosen infrastructures, micro-e-services are forced to become magnetic. We realize that if you scale perfectly then you may also implement dynamically. The metrics for social-network-based out-of-the-box CAE are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Imagine a combination of J++ and SVG. Without performance, you will lack proactive macro-bleeding-edge Total Quality Control. We constantly recontextualize customer-defined project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "architectures". The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous R&D and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be proactive? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much XML, and not enough OWL. Without best-of-breed obfuscation, you will lack C2C. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Think B2C2B. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. We understand that if you exploit ultra-proactively then you may also disintermediate compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We here at ABC understand that it is better to target robustly than to actualize efficiently. Do you have a plan to become sticky? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We constantly scale out-of-the-box compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. The social networks factor is cross-media. We think we know that if you reinvent robustly then you may also integrate virtually. We will target the capability of experiences to matrix. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ultra-co-branded bloatware but our capacity to evolve. If you transform globally, you may have to deploy virtually. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for regulating new user interfaces? ABC is the industry leader of visionary, client-focused metrics. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. Think intra-social-network-based. We realize that it is better to brand iteravely than to matrix interactively. We invariably maximize long-term bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? We will e-enable the industry jargon "visionary". We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!