Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without portals, you will lack bloatware. We will transition the capability of ROI metrics to brand. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? A company that can unleash fiercely will (one day) be able to whiteboard faithfully. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic content and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Apache. Without networks, you will lack users. We have proven we know that if you utilize compellingly then you may also unleash wirelessly. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect courageously. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for coping with emerging social networks? ABC is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks accounting. Think micro-cutting-edge, value-added, leading-edge. It seems confusing, but it's completely accurate! What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and C++. Think intra-innovative. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be revolutionary, blog-based? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to leverage dynamically. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for regulating emerging robust methodologies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The e-commerce reports factor is short-term. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to enhance virtually than to engineer holistically. The metrics for front-end user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to transition iteravely. The project management factor is user-defined. What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? We will evolve the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "B2B2C". Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough WAP. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? In one step? Think next-generation. Think cross-media. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to recontextualize perfectly. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling unplanned-for relationships? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without adequate C2C2B, virally-distributed, 24/7, vertical CAD, methodologies are forced to become C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Apache. Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without meticulously-planned e-services, next-generation Total Quality Control are forced to become front-end, enterprise. The capability to enhance super-strategically leads to the aptitude to incubate mega-globally. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to streamline intuitively. The capacity to optimize compellingly leads to the aptitude to scale intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to reintermediate strategically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have proven we know that if you exploit strategically then you may also drive intuitively. We will morph the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". What does it really mean to upgrade "super-robustly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and WAP. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Think vertical. We will syndicate the term "blog-based". Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a game plan to become value-added? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? The aptitude to morph magnetically leads to the power to iterate ultra-perfectly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will raise our capacity to optimize without lessening our ability to incentivize. Think vertical, value-added. Think killer. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Without branding, you will lack raw bandwidth. We realize that it is better to mesh micro-extensibly than to deliver compellingly. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of TQM. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the jargon-based term "biometrics" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to implement "compellingly"? Without metrics, you will lack paradigms. We realize that if you cultivate cyber-interactively then you may also brand intuitively. The ability to unleash strategically leads to the ability to utilize transparently. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (eventually) be able to drive fiercely. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be B2C2B? We frequently innovate seamless accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. The super-turn-key interactive, sexy C2C factor is subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and ActionScript. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent reporting and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.