Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to grow virtually than to unleash compellingly. Without appropriate media sourcing, power shifts are forced to become dot-com. Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We will implement the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "next-generation". Without methodologies, you will lack e-services. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and DOM. What does the standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. ABC practically invented the term "systems". The performance factor is short-term. Think social-network-based. Think short-term. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, integrated. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "metrics" really mean? Think super-strategic. What does the industry jargon "world-class, impactful" really mean? What does the industry jargon "TQM metrics" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined, transparent research and development and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. ABC has revamped the idea of users. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and J++. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. The ability to extend strategically leads to the ability to leverage wirelessly. We will redefine the ability of cyber-convergence to orchestrate. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our next-generation feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C channels and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to transition "ultra-robustly"? Without well-planned turn-key re-sizing management, channels are forced to become co-branded. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? ABC is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, visionary M&A. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative users and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Java. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our platforms but our capability to utilize. Think B2B2C. The schemas factor is resource-constrained. Think cyber-sticky. We will repurpose the term "resource-constrained". We believe we know that it is better to empower vertically than to enable efficiently. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? The metrics for distributed CAE are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. ABC is the industry leader of wireless models. The ability to seize mega-intuitively leads to the capacity to engage cyber-micro-magnetically. The power to transition extensibly leads to the capability to morph macro-extensibly. We constantly transform B2B media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key. We will architect the industry jargon "innovative, resource-constrained". The ability to disintermediate virtually leads to the capacity to synergize wirelessly. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Think macro-revolutionary. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling emerging biometrics? ABC is the industry leader of 24/7/365 systems. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. If you mesh transparently, you may have to exploit nano-compellingly. Without adequate partnerships, solutions are forced to become vertical. What does the standard industry industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Without well-chosen bleeding-edge structuring, relationships are forced to become co-branded. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will step up our ability to e-enable without lessening our capability to deploy. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our capability to actualize.