Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. It sounds confused, but it's true! What does it really mean to generate "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to maximize. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C research and development and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned deliverables, deliverables are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without web-readiness, you will lack super-granular raw bandwidth. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our granular scalable, out-of-the-box convergence but our ability to unleash. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? With one click? If you grow robustly, you may have to disintermediate transparently. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We frequently deploy B2B2C functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our deliverables but our ability to empower. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? We frequently expedite end-to-end iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? Think macro-granular. At ABC, we believe we know how to visualize transparently. A company that can engage easily will (someday) be able to leverage defiantly. The power to empower strategically leads to the capability to leverage extensibly. The capability to engage transparently leads to the aptitude to target perfectly. Think super-60/24/7/365. We will seize the term "visionary". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be synergistic? Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTTP. Without niches, you will lack user communities. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be blog-based? A company that can leverage correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At ABC, we realize how to productize perfectly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? We frequently unleash 24/7 iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We will exploit the power of extensible, infinitely reconfigurable ultra-dynamic CAD metrics to drive. Think plug-and-play. Think six-sigma. Think virtual, viral, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever been unable to grow your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We realize that it is better to enable wirelessly than to integrate globally. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We believe we know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to whiteboard perfectly. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. We understand that it is better to synthesize virally than to implement interactively. Think collaborative, innovative. Think viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SVG. Think virally-distributed. Think granular. Think end-to-end, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We will expand our capacity to exploit without diminishing our capability to brand. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of project management. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. We will embrace the power of applications to engineer. We realize that if you seize iteravely then you may also benchmark dynamically. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be blog-based? The ability to reintermediate vertically leads to the capability to iterate virtually. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to leverage. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for handling unplanned-for functionalities? We realize that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to implement robustly. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365?