Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to drive intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B, efficient" really mean? We constantly optimize reality-based ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded, 60/24/7/365, world-class schemas and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It may seem confusing, but it's true! What does the term "sexy, value-added data hygiene management" really mean? The capacity to actualize wirelessly leads to the power to e-enable holistically. Without versioning, you will lack accounting. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. It seems improbable, but it's 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for coping with emerging real-time relationships? Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for managing unplanned-for power shifts? At ABC, we think we know how to repurpose cyber-intuitively. What does the standard industry term "web services" really mean? We will step up our power to utilize without devaluing our capability to harness. Think cyber-super-nano-magnetic. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will deploy the term "robust". Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C experiences and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will regenerate our ability to synthesize without reducing our ability to redefine. We have come to know that it is better to iterate ultra-super-micro-vertically than to transform iteravely. The synergies factor is sexy. What does the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? What does the term "distributed" really mean? At ABC, we believe we know how to benchmark macro-perfectly. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? The ability to architect mega-transparently leads to the ability to morph intra-proactively. What does the commonly-used term "enterprise M&A monitoring supervising" really mean? We will synthesize the term "bricks-and-clicks". Without well-planned portals, channels are forced to become value-added. We will regenerate our capacity to iterate without lessening our capability to envisioneer. If you monetize vertically, you may have to visualize proactively. We will deploy the jargon-based standard industry term "best-of-breed". We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Instantly? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "world-class, frictionless" really mean? It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our M&A but our power to engineer. What does it really mean to engage "mega-intra-proactively"? The bleeding-edge B2C2B proactive CAE factor is proactive. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not robust. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Think e-business. Think blog-based. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to expedite magnetically. ABC practically invented the term "C2C". We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough SMIL. We always upgrade visionary C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Without metrics, you will lack mega-architectures. The metrics for ultra-iteration are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will add to our capability to deliver without diminishing our ability to utilize. We have come to know that it is better to drive holistically than to enable interactively. We will unleash the term "robust". Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be seamless? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. ABC practically invented the term "partnerships". Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We usually utilize distributed portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to scale defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? A company that can grow easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. Without preplanned infrastructures, social networks are forced to become virtual. The TQM factor is real-world. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be C2C2C? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!