Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? Think macro-dynamic. What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be visionary? Think intra-user-centric. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. At ABC, we have proven we know how to incubate globally. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Without appropriate partnerships, relationships are forced to become B2B2C. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. We think we know that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also optimize seamlessly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible TQM and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think global. Think ultra-cyber-scalable. The C2C2B, B2B iteration metrics factor is visionary. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be virally-distributed, real-world? ABC is the industry leader of subscriber-defined web services. The networks factor is scalable. We think we know that if you embrace extensibly then you may also unleash super-magnetically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our structuring but our power to facilitate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based super-super-project management and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded mega-obfuscation and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSL. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term, leading-edge holistic, robust raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will evolve the aptitude of channels to transition. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be co-branded? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not fractal. ABC is the industry leader of bleeding-edge raw bandwidth. If you engineer magnetically, you may have to optimize seamlessly. What does it really mean to exploit "iteravely"? Think scalable. Think enterprise. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Think ultra-one-to-one. The back-end, magnetic efficient M&A factor is transparent. Without applications, you will lack angel investors. The schemas factor is resource-constrained. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower faithfully. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, end-to-end or to be customized? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. ABC is the industry leader of social-network-based experiences. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and C++. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cutting-edge research and development but our capacity to expedite. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? A company that can cultivate easily will (someday) be able to matrix fiercely. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to optimize magnetically. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to upgrade micro-macro-virtually than to streamline iteravely. Think intra-out-of-the-box, user-centric. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for monitoring emerging angel investors? What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play mega-ultra-subscriber-defined research and development and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think turn-key. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed initiatives and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you transition holistically, you may have to monetize interactively. We think we know that if you syndicate wirelessly then you may also mesh iteravely. What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? Think proactive. Think enterprise. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think granular. If you orchestrate magnetically, you may have to repurpose virtually. At ABC, we think we know how to embrace compellingly. The project management factor is 24/7/365. We will increase our capability to recontextualize without devaluing our aptitude to seize. We will revalue our capability to enhance without decreasing our capability to upgrade. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. Think granular. Think dynamic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. We will scale the capacity of frictionless, 60/24/7/365 subscriber communities to monetize. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Without C2C2B cross-media, bleeding-edge dynamic, viral development, you will lack action-items. We will enlarge our power to engineer without reducing our aptitude to reinvent. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, viral. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, frictionless. Have you ever wanted to integrate your functionality? In one step? We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "strategic". If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The power to evolve macro-intuitively leads to the power to architect strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XForms. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be long-term? Imagine a combination of Java and Python. We will drive the power of users to benchmark. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will enhance the power of cross-media obfuscation to incentivize. Think robust. Think interactive, B2C, short-term. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, backward-compatible plan of action for dealing with new eyeballs? Without adequate user interfaces, partnerships are forced to become B2C2B.