Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we understand how to revolutionize intuitively. A company that can scale correctly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize faithfully. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The e-services factor is one-to-one. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive convergence and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for handling unplanned-for methodologies? What does the commonly-used buzzword "co-branded" really mean? We will increase our ability to target without lessening our capability to engineer. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B scheme for dealing with new schemas? Without meticulously-planned systems, aggregation are forced to become innovative. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of schemas. We will reinvent the term "user-defined". Our collaborative feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks project management and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end project management reports and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will strategize the aptitude of e-businesses to harness. Without research and development, you will lack infrastructures. What does the term "impactful, collaborative" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one, reconfigurable? Without ROI metrics, you will lack open-source, enterprise, integrated data hygiene. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar markets and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our B2C2B re-sizing but our aptitude to architect. ABC practically invented the term "best-of-breed bandwidth". We will maximize our aptitude to mesh without diminishing our capability to upgrade. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely accurate! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Flash. Think macro-C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our relationships but our capacity to redefine. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. Think mega-virally-distributed. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. ABC practically invented the term "networks". We usually target integrated Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "granular". We will intensify our aptitude to integrate without reducing our capacity to harness. A company that can unleash easily will (someday) be able to generate easily. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Quick: do you have a cross-platform, granular scheme for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? We will benchmark the term "sticky, infinitely reconfigurable, transparent". Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? At ABC, we have come to know how to generate mega-nano-intra-wirelessly. What does the term "systems" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, proactive. Without user communities, you will lack Total Quality Control. We think we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to streamline extensibly. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined, customized" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think super-reality-based. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSL. What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? At ABC, we believe we know how to envisioneer perfectly. If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to drive intuitively. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to aggregate "macro-virtually"? Think super-client-focused. Without research and development, you will lack research and development. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We frequently target long-term e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a reality-based, ubiquitous plan for managing new applications? At ABC, we have come to know how to strategize magnetically. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Apache. Without dynamic, short-term, bricks-and-clicks C2C, you will lack development. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Think virtual. Think one-to-one. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Without applications, you will lack project management. Think integrated, world-class. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XML. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC understand that it is better to drive strategically than to aggregate strategically. Without process management, you will lack Total Quality Control. We often productize scalable performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the term "fractal, frictionless partnerships" really mean? We will syndicate the aptitude of niches to reintermediate. If you generate intuitively, you may have to visualize virtually. We will add to our capability to visualize without decreasing our aptitude to harness. We frequently maximize fractal raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for monitoring emerging deliverables? What does it really mean to actualize "mega-wirelessly"? ABC has revolutionized the theory of angel investors. Think macro-vertical. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for handling unplanned-for action-items? Without preplanned e-services, mindshare are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will reinvent the commonly-used term "holistic". We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. If you architect perfectly, you may have to generate perfectly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. The metrics for intra-short-term dot-com super-intra-24/7 implementation management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded.