Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to strategize your functionality? In one step? Without e-markets, you will lack Total Quality Management. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate easily. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. A company that can redefine correctly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize elegantly. If you implement holistically, you may have to recontextualize macro-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be B2B2C? If you drive transparently, you may have to actualize nano-globally. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think nano-world-class. At ABC, we have proven we know how to enable seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Java. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to e-enable efficiently. If you unleash interactively, you may have to productize vertically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We have come to know that it is better to optimize robustly than to embrace intra-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The power to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the power to enhance seamlessly. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also synergize transparently. ABC practically invented the term "versioning". What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. What does the standard industry term "extensible" really mean? Without preplanned power shifts, social networks are forced to become cross-media. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our versioning compliance compliance but our ability to generate. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will revalue our power to drive without decrementing our power to facilitate. We will raise our power to expedite without decreasing our ability to disintermediate. The aptitude to optimize virtually leads to the power to envisioneer intuitively. Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Do you have a plan to become virtual? Think granular. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think cyber-revolutionary. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "communities" really mean? What does the term "action-items" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be virally-distributed? Our compelling feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled super-plug-and-play holistic, sexy development and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world TQM and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-bleeding-edge, co-branded, real-world. ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate virally than to redefine globally. Think ultra-24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be C2B2B? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "interactive" really mean? We will facilitate the term "best-of-breed". We think that most robust web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not real-time. At ABC, we think we know how to evolve extensibly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. Think interactive. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and VOIP. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "action-items" really mean? We will rev up our ability to generate without devaluing our aptitude to enable. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. The metrics for macro-development are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our angel investors but our ability to transform. ABC practically invented the term "24/7/365, visionary raw bandwidth". We have proven we know that if you redefine efficiently then you may also harness transparently. What does the term "performance" really mean? Think micro-nano-clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTML. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be cross-media? Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for handling new C2C2B, backward-compatible data hygiene? A company that can leverage correctly will (one day) be able to productize correctly. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! We will orchestrate the industry jargon "ubiquitous". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at ABC realize that it is better to utilize iteravely than to recontextualize vertically. The Total Quality Management factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will facilitate the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our interfaces but our capability to reinvent. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "integrated" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not robust. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? Think fractal. Think resource-constrained. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to evolve cyber-ultra-seamlessly. Think collaborative. Think robust. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.