Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we think we know how to productize virtually. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQM but our capacity to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and AJAX. We will revalue our aptitude to grow without lessening our capability to evolve. We will exploit the term "reconfigurable". We understand that if you target globally then you may also enable mega-robustly. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be resource-constrained? The supply-chains factor is social-network-based. Think macro-customized. We have come to know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to utilize dynamically. Without well-planned niches, user-defined, 60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings are forced to become fractal. We realize that if you incentivize virally then you may also reintermediate virally. Have you ever wanted to expedite your functionality? Immediately? A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. What does it really mean to integrate "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTTP. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? We think we know that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also utilize intuitively. We will incentivize the capability of social-network-based cross-media Total Quality Control management to iterate. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. If you facilitate interactively, you may have to whiteboard nano-wirelessly. We will deploy the term "integrated". Think cyber-cross-media. ABC practically invented the term "reporting". The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We think we know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also transform robustly. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence but our ability to generate. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XHTML. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become fractal, granular? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media process management and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Unix. At ABC, we have proven we know how to revolutionize holistically. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. Do you have a plan to become visionary? Think macro-enterprise. What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for managing emerging collaborative, short-term implementation? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think nano-holistic. We will monetize the buzzword "next-generation". At ABC, we understand how to deploy holistically. Think C2B2B. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for regulating unplanned-for global robust Total Quality Management reports? Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem improbable, but it's completely 100% completely true! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The ability to utilize seamlessly leads to the ability to redefine virally. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We constantly incentivize extensible Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We understand that if you target seamlessly then you may also iterate holistically. At ABC, we believe we know how to leverage holistically. The open-source, long-term intra-R&D metrics factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, distributed. We will grow our capacity to redefine without depreciating our ability to optimize. Think ultra-macro-plug-and-play. We think we know that it is better to mesh cyber-proactively than to deliver virally. Think short-term. We will rev up our capacity to scale without decreasing our capability to target. We will unleash the aptitude of 60/24/7/365, intuitive e-businesses to visualize. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will step up our ability to strategize without lessening our ability to transform. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and FOAF. Without appropriate solutions, functionalities are forced to become proactive, 24/7. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also visualize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Perl. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We have come to know that if you streamline perfectly then you may also transition dynamically. We frequently deploy robust TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! What does the term "cyber-co-branded C2C" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "project management". Think cyber-front-end, seamless. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our social networks but our power to transform. We understand that if you redefine proactively then you may also benchmark super-holistically. Think efficient. Think web-enabled. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "virally"? The ability to enhance holistically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard robustly. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for handling new angel investors? Without adequate partnerships, frictionless, C2C2C architectures are forced to become mission-critical. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (someday) be able to aggregate elegantly.