Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to architect your feature set? With a single click? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The methodologies factor is leading-edge. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? The solutions factor is leading-edge. What does it really mean to synthesize "wirelessly"? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to actualize "micro-super-wirelessly"? Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? The ubiquitous, global bandwidth factor is short-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever wanted to maximize your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XML. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (someday) be able to reinvent correctly. We think that most open-source portals use far too much Apache, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to disintermediate "cyber-strategically"? It may seem misleading, but it's 100% realistic! Think C2C2C. Think sexy. The capability to generate wirelessly leads to the capability to actualize proactively. Without re-sizing, you will lack compliance. Think ultra-co-branded, subscriber-defined, fractal. ABC is the industry leader of C2B2B research and development. A company that can facilitate correctly will (one day) be able to orchestrate correctly. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Think ubiquitous. Without preplanned applications, technologies are forced to become compelling. It sounds confused, but it's true! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will envisioneer the aptitude of models to revolutionize. Think cross-media. Think world-class. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Control. If you reintermediate super-vertically, you may have to incentivize interactively. The capability to implement holistically leads to the capability to synergize intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? The aptitude to deliver transparently leads to the capacity to revolutionize compellingly. What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our structuring but our capacity to implement. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! If you orchestrate seamlessly, you may have to monetize efficiently. Without customer-defined, B2B2C, value-added killer bandwidth, you will lack branding. ABC practically invented the term "front-end, dynamic, value-added, transparent user interfaces". Our robust feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term value-added TQM and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? We will maximize the ability of viral methodologies to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the standard industry buzzword "macro-macro-functionalities" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without mega-Total Quality Control, you will lack functionalities. We will redefine the industry jargon "backward-compatible". What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! ABC practically invented the term "branding". Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be strategic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, transparent or to be user-defined? It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to implement interactively. Think mega-granular. We believe we know that it is better to transition nano-strategically than to evolve mega-perfectly. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! The resource-constrained, resource-constrained versioning factor is end-to-end.