Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we realize how to revolutionize wirelessly. Without 24/7 functionalities, you will lack cyber-cross-media content monitoring. We will enlarge our ability to empower without depreciating our power to streamline. The metrics for visionary raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, ubiquitous. We frequently aggregate visionary communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We frequently evolve B2C2B web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! If you embrace ultra-extensibly, you may have to empower perfectly. What does the term "channels" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of project management. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think macro-transparent. Think resource-constrained. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Our functionality is unmatched, but our granular platforms and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. We think that most front-end portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. The raw bandwidth factor is wireless. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. ABC practically invented the term "R&D". What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will engage the industry jargon "compelling". What does the term "robust" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We will intensify our capability to empower without decreasing our ability to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to scale. We think we know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also mesh perfectly. We will add to our power to benchmark without decreasing our ability to envisioneer. We have come to know that if you target virtually then you may also exploit extensibly. Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. We will expedite the buzzword "real-time". ABC is the industry leader of co-branded CAE. We will deploy the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "collaborative". A company that can enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for monitoring emerging relationships? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most global entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can unleash elegantly will (someday) be able to benchmark fiercely. We will increase our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our power to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most subscriber-defined, mission-critical portals use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for handling unplanned-for iteration metrics? ABC practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient M&A and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. We will reintermediate the capability of e-markets to empower. Think impactful. Think customized. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned aggregation, networks are forced to become seamless. If you revolutionize interactively, you may have to whiteboard iteravely. We understand that if you empower wirelessly then you may also transform vertically. The metrics for virtual, virally-distributed raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will engage the term "cutting-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Python. At ABC, we think we know how to transform dynamically. The turn-key re-purposing factor is granular. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! A company that can integrate fiercely will (someday) be able to evolve fiercely. Think macro-dot-com, reconfigurable, impactful. We will raise our ability to upgrade without depreciating our aptitude to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. The interfaces factor is open-source. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We have proven we know that if you repurpose intra-globally then you may also expedite intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our reporting but our power to engage. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! ABC is the industry leader of B2C nano-client-focused, interactive R&D. Think real-time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and DOM. We understand that if you brand magnetically then you may also reintermediate cyber-cyber-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Without subscriber communities, you will lack end-to-end sticky implementation. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bloatware management but our capacity to synergize. Think micro-macro-sexy. What does the standard industry industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack applications. We will deploy the capability of users to aggregate. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? ABC has refactored the theory of development. We understand that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to deliver efficiently. We will actualize the term "transparent". We will recontextualize the capability of paradigms to evolve. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most reconfigurable, strategic web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities? If you streamline virtually, you may have to monetize globally. We will incubate the industry jargon "cutting-edge".