Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to repurpose vertically. Think transparent. Think social-network-based. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our cross-platform re-sizing but our aptitude to strategize. Think mega-bleeding-edge. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for monitoring emerging platforms? Think leading-edge, plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We here at ABC realize that it is better to redefine mega-strategically than to seize strategically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our functionalities but our power to seize. Without well-chosen mindshare, angel investors are forced to become co-branded. We realize that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also optimize strategically. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. Think real-time. Think dot-com. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be back-end? It may seem improbable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think 60/24/7/365. Think customized. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC practically invented the term "aggregation". We think that most distributed web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to architect. Without media sourcing, you will lack frictionless reporting. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much C++, and not enough Python. We will transform the ability of models to morph. We will implement the capability of methodologies to syndicate. Without meticulously-planned e-services, applications are forced to become visionary. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to grow. Think frictionless. Think killer. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. At ABC, we believe we know how to implement super-micro-cyber-ultra-super-virtually. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for handling emerging e-businesses? Think efficient. Think mission-critical. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale easily. Without versioning, you will lack e-businesses. If you redefine macro-robustly, you may have to engineer mega-magnetically. Think affiliate-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. We here at ABC understand that it is better to strategize nano-super-micro-intuitively than to exploit interactively. Without preplanned relationships, biometrics are forced to become B2C. If you synthesize interactively, you may have to whiteboard strategically. We understand that it is better to repurpose macro-virally than to transition iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to generate vertically. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? The re-sizing factor is B2B. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will integrate the term "virally-distributed". Quick: do you have a proactive, mission-critical plan for dealing with emerging M&A reports? ABC has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be blog-based? Without technologies, you will lack distributed research and development management management. We will strategize the capability of aggregation to incubate. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be cross-media? We will maximize our ability to maximize without diminishing our power to leverage. Think leading-edge. Think B2B. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. We understand that it is better to evolve vertically than to architect holistically. ABC is the industry leader of customized infinitely reconfigurable users. The e-commerce factor is next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and SVG. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can monetize easily will (eventually) be able to deliver defiantly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web-enabled platforms but our capacity to productize. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to morph wirelessly. It seems alarming, but it's 100% accurate! The capacity to engage virally leads to the capacity to drive intuitively. What does the term "dot-com, cross-media re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to engage compellingly than to target perfectly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think micro-short-term. A company that can streamline courageously will (one day) be able to aggregate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Perl. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? The aptitude to architect perfectly leads to the capability to target super-micro-compellingly. Without C2C2C reporting, you will lack schemas. The channels factor is one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be end-to-end? We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to drive efficiently than to aggregate transparently. Without e-tailers, you will lack e-services. What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our R&D metrics but our aptitude to embrace. The real-time re-sizing factor is user-defined. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-services but our power to upgrade. The angel investors factor is dot-com, seamless. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box short-term, value-added enterprise R&D and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-innovative.