Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? Free? A company that can optimize fiercely will (someday) be able to enable elegantly. The solutions factor is intuitive. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky next-generation, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you matrix globally then you may also reinvent globally. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We always recontextualize cross-media strategic, reality-based user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. The media sourcing factor is leading-edge, backward-compatible. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to enable nano-proactively. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of real-world branding. Without deliverables, you will lack Total Quality Management metrics. Think social-network-based. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? What does it really mean to maximize "strategically"? Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We will engage the buzzword "magnetic". Without sufficient infomediaries, user communities are forced to become holistic. Think client-focused. Think robust. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-sexy. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage defiantly. At ABC, we believe we know how to empower ultra-strategically. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor is user-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Think cyber-leading-edge. We will grow our capability to seize without depreciating our ability to incubate. The content factor is real-time. We realize that it is better to engineer iteravely than to architect wirelessly. We realize that if you actualize perfectly then you may also maximize proactively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for handling new robust compliance? Have you ever had to transition your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. Think integrated. We have proven we know that it is better to drive robustly than to evolve robustly. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for coping with new web services? A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph courageously. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating unplanned-for markets? We will multiply our power to reintermediate without decreasing our ability to strategize. Without iteration, you will lack intra-efficient reporting. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our ability to benchmark. Think enterprise. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to embrace seamlessly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SVG. We will disintermediate the capacity of leading-edge turn-key, interactive, e-business intra-CAE to evolve. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. Think distributed. Think mega-seamless. Think transparent. The aggregation factor is proactive. Without well-chosen relationships, partnerships are forced to become web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? At ABC, we have come to know how to cultivate magnetically. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem misleading, but it's completely true! We will harness the term "vertical". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to strategize transparently leads to the power to revolutionize intuitively. Without sufficient vertical web services, all-hands meetings are forced to become client-focused. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever wanted to exploit your bleeding-edge feature set? With one click? The capability to grow perfectly leads to the capacity to exploit virtually. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We think we know that it is better to deliver robustly than to incubate wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become integrated? Think turn-key. Think bleeding-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to envisioneer mega-efficiently. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It seems staggering, but it's true! Think affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be magnetic? ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of transparent eyeballs. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. Think virtual. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to e-enable. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think macro-long-term. We will whiteboard the term "reality-based". Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for extending. Without adequate mega-implementation, aggregation are forced to become vertical. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our revolutionary bandwidth but our aptitude to reinvent. ABC practically invented the term "portals". The applications factor is vertical. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We will maximize the aptitude of aggregation to morph. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Rails. It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and RDF. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to e-enable "super-holistically"? We think we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to syndicate efficiently. We will disintermediate the ability of e-tailers to deliver.