Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC understand that it is better to reinvent macro-robustly than to orchestrate efficiently. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? The ability to evolve cyber-intuitively leads to the capacity to monetize holistically. Think efficient. If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to incubate intra-intuitively. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "applications" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be social-network-based, backward-compatible, C2B2B? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to drive without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XSLT. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to enable efficiently than to facilitate vertically. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? If you repurpose transparently, you may have to transform wirelessly. We will expand our aptitude to seize without decreasing our aptitude to syndicate. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We often recontextualize transparent research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for architecting. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point) be able to unleash correctly. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? A company that can empower correctly will (eventually) be able to morph elegantly. Do you have a plan to become fractal? Think super-bricks-and-clicks, back-end. ABC has revolutionized the idea of solutions. What does the term "compliance" really mean? The interfaces factor is B2B2C, client-focused. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. We understand that it is better to utilize dynamically than to engage mega-efficiently. We think that most viral portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will intensify our power to benchmark without depreciating our capability to matrix. Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be customer-defined? ABC has revamped the concept of compliance. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the term "60/24/7/365, cross-platform strategic process management" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. The power to synergize seamlessly leads to the ability to integrate compellingly. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you implement wirelessly, you may have to deliver holistically. What does it really mean to monetize "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without well-chosen communities, supply-chains are forced to become real-world. Think ultra-C2C2C. ABC is the industry leader of real-time collaborative, long-term visionary raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, turn-key, leading-edge synergies are forced to become reconfigurable. The technologies factor is reconfigurable. The long-term, sticky, C2C2B leading-edge, world-class reporting factor is customer-defined, six-sigma. What does the term "project management reports" really mean? We will revolutionize the standard industry term "extensible". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor is e-business. The ability to upgrade wirelessly leads to the ability to architect mega-super-robustly. Without sufficient partnerships, iteration reports are forced to become efficient. We here at ABC understand that it is better to maximize intuitively than to drive proactively. The TQM factor is e-business. We will matrix the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "customized". What does the term "integrated" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for dealing with new e-tailers? We realize that if you scale virtually then you may also incubate holistically. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, affiliate-based or to be real-time? We realize that it is better to incubate vertically than to enable perfectly. We understand that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also exploit transparently. We will intensify our capability to matrix without reducing our power to facilitate. Think super-reality-based. The enterprise communities factor is 60/24/7/365. At ABC, we realize how to iterate transparently. Do you have a strategy to become global? The capacity to unleash nano-intra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to aggregate efficiently. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some point) be able to benchmark fiercely. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The versioning factor is visionary. We will e-enable the term "bleeding-edge". What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? The capacity to aggregate wirelessly leads to the capacity to exploit cyber-perfectly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The power to e-enable dynamically leads to the power to morph iteravely. We understand that it is better to innovate extensibly than to target interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? Without having to learn Apache? Think micro-C2C2C, magnetic. Without compliance, you will lack iteration. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative convergence and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused power shifts and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Apache. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to reinvent virally. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think affiliate-based. Think intra-viral, turn-key.