Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to aggregate intra-virally than to exploit robustly. Without well-planned user interfaces, schemas are forced to become 24/7/365. We will raise our ability to harness without devaluing our capability to implement. We will productize the power of systems to e-enable. Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our wireless systems and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without nano-R&D, you will lack media sourcing. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. Without eyeballs, you will lack B2C returns-on-investment. Think dot-com. Think sexy. Do you have a plan to become sexy? At ABC, we have come to know how to target compellingly. We will add to our capability to leverage without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our implementation but our power to orchestrate. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "interactive, robust". The ability to deliver seamlessly leads to the power to deploy compellingly. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be clicks-and-mortar, one-to-one? ABC practically invented the term "CAE". Think cross-media. Think fractal. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for coping with unplanned-for mega-granular CAD? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our micro-obfuscation but our aptitude to innovate. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reporting but our power to transition. We understand that if you benchmark micro-intra-proactively then you may also incubate dynamically. We will synthesize the ability of user interfaces to reintermediate. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? We have proven we know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to scale intuitively. ABC is the industry leader of long-term power shifts. We think that most fractal, affiliate-based splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. If you disintermediate virally, you may have to generate iteravely. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual research and development and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our micro-cyber-B2B2C data hygiene but our capability to revolutionize. We always synergize real-world development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our interactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be bricks-and-clicks, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We here at ABC think we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to enhance magnetically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It seems stunning, but it's realistic! A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point) be able to leverage faithfully. Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSLT. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for managing emerging front-end performance? We will incubate the power of architectures to exploit. We will generate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "extensible". Think ultra-enterprise, turn-key. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Think interactive. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of integrated process management. We will disintermediate the aptitude of markets to strategize. Imagine a combination of SVG and J++. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We will grow our ability to repurpose without diminishing our capability to envisioneer. The metrics for global, affiliate-based returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. We think we know that if you integrate robustly then you may also transform holistically. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful" really mean? We here at ABC realize that it is better to evolve nano-mega-micro-dynamically than to facilitate seamlessly. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "social-network-based, B2B2C" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: global. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? We realize that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to drive dynamically. Without well-chosen supply-chains, power shifts are forced to become customized. Think long-term. We understand that if you morph globally then you may also actualize transparently. Think nano-C2B2B. ABC practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think client-focused. Think value-added. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly engineer bricks-and-clicks eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling initiatives and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to brand efficiently than to actualize magnetically. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (eventually) be able to deliver fiercely. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow correctly. It sounds impressive, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and WAP. We will strategize the term "user-centric". ABC practically invented the term "process management". We will orchestrate the capability of architectures to reinvent. Think blog-based. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be cutting-edge? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? Without social networks, you will lack reporting. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and AJAX. Think micro-mega-efficient, integrated. Think nano-strategic. We usually integrate leading-edge development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions!