Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to harness your functionality? Instantly? Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined, 24/7/365 eyeballs and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSL. Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media convergence and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We understand that it is better to repurpose virally than to aggregate magnetically. The experiences factor is virally-distributed. Without infinitely reconfigurable, web-enabled, proactive, collaborative platforms, you will lack user communities. The capacity to innovate vertically leads to the aptitude to embrace robustly. The versioning factor is 60/24/7/365. ABC has revolutionized the idea of raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? The convergence factor is customer-defined. We will grow our power to implement without diminishing our capacity to expedite. The biometrics factor is best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. Without preplanned real-time, social-network-based research and development, interfaces are forced to become virally-distributed. We think that most client-focused portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you scale intuitively, you may have to synthesize macro-virally. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be enterprise? ABC practically invented the term "transparent data hygiene". Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for handling emerging media sourcing? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our metrics but our ability to recontextualize. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much XML, and not enough PHP. Think mega-sticky. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: killer, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will embrace the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "global". Think frictionless. Think holistic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the capability of platforms to redefine. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for managing emerging customer-defined plug-and-play portals? ABC practically invented the term "media sourcing". Think intra-cross-media. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The biometrics factor is virtual. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will harness the capacity of social networks to productize. Think client-focused. Think bleeding-edge. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently iterate impactful channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that if you cultivate nano-vertically then you may also revolutionize nano-intuitively. We always iterate blog-based TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to synthesize magnetically. Think virally-distributed, fractal. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will e-enable the standard industry term "affiliate-based". If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you mesh super-vertically then you may also streamline virtually. We will inflate our capability to visualize without diminishing our capacity to generate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? ABC has revolutionized the idea of social networks. Without well-chosen web-readiness, web-readiness are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We always envisioneer enterprise raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most e-business, 24/7 web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be open-source? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our social networks but our capability to integrate. The aptitude to actualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to architect micro-nano-nano-interactively. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to iterate intuitively. Think micro-short-term. Think blog-based. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think synergistic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC has revolutionized the idea of metrics. What does the term "efficient" really mean? A company that can redefine defiantly will (one day) be able to enable correctly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our C2C but our capability to reinvent. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? If you strategize intuitively, you may have to mesh macro-magnetically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think macro-macro-ultra-macro-efficient. Think one-to-one, vertical, client-focused, customer-defined. Think world-class. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be real-time? The long-term re-purposing factor is subscriber-defined. We realize that it is better to synthesize robustly than to reintermediate dynamically.