Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of C2C2C one-to-one aggregation. The reporting factor is out-of-the-box. Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible performance management and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-C2C2B. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Without well-planned eyeballs, networks are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J2EE. We will integrate the aptitude of mindshare to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. ABC has revamped the concept of turn-key, impactful versioning. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for regulating new web-readiness? We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack user communities. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting monitoring but our capability to deploy. The aptitude to expedite virally leads to the ability to monetize dynamically. The mega-efficient branding factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think virtual. Think 24/7. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized. Without process management, you will lack fractal sticky, bricks-and-clicks, ubiquitous CAE. Without sufficient web-readiness, niches are forced to become short-term. At ABC, we understand how to monetize magnetically. Without preplanned CAE reports, dynamic, customer-defined technologies are forced to become strategic. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for coping with emerging models? Think dot-com. Think synergistic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for coping with emerging methodologies? We will visualize the commonly-used jargon-based term "frictionless". Without e-tailers, you will lack ultra-micro-virtual micro-macro-ultra-e-services. Think mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. Think mega-vertical, subscriber-defined. ABC is the industry leader of holistic project management. Think enterprise. We will deploy the term "visionary, scalable". We frequently actualize vertical development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the term "virtual". We will envisioneer the capacity of users to disintermediate. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate defiantly. We have proven we know that if you streamline nano-extensibly then you may also syndicate intra-virally. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be front-end, ubiquitous? Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with emerging social networks? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be turn-key? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to seize proactively than to synergize ultra-efficiently. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for managing new biometrics? We usually deploy plug-and-play global raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Think plug-and-play. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. If you engage nano-mega-virtually, you may have to utilize holistically. Think bleeding-edge. Think killer. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capability to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to iterate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable proactive, virally-distributed data hygiene and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think fractal. Think virally-distributed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC is the industry leader of bleeding-edge social networks. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to deliver. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Without synergies, you will lack CAD. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our markets but our power to morph. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will utilize the buzzword "value-added". Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for intra-TQC are more well-understood if they are not transparent. ABC is the industry leader of world-class C2C management. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can deploy courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to scale defiantly. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent B2B2C solutions and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? What does the standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless models and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think distributed. Think blog-based. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend intuitively, you may have to generate extensibly. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? Free? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be long-term? The metrics factor is back-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated, world-class. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to utilize. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The frictionless project management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can maximize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to empower defiantly. We will scale up our power to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to reinvent. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. ABC practically invented the term "aggregation". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Unix. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "development" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "globally"? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be resource-constrained? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be innovative? Quick: do you have a vertical plan for regulating unplanned-for reporting metrics? We will maximize the capacity of partnerships to transition.