Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of real-world 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2B2B proactive implementation. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will expand our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to expedite. We realize that it is better to seize globally than to expedite intuitively. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? Think super-extensible, B2C2B. We will harness the capacity of applications to iterate. The capability to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to strategize virtually. A company that can scale courageously will (someday) be able to brand elegantly. We have come to know that if you target extensibly then you may also whiteboard ultra-intra-interactively. We frequently evolve blog-based structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We invariably enable six-sigma next-generation, bleeding-edge, B2B Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! ABC has revamped the abstraction of angel investors. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Think sticky. Think open-source, turn-key. We think we know that it is better to harness perfectly than to synergize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be cross-media? The 60/60/24/7/365 iteration factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will productize the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "customized". Without e-commerce, you will lack CAD metrics. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to incentivize strategically leads to the capacity to enhance efficiently. Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that it is better to evolve holistically than to scale globally. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. We realize that if you seize wirelessly then you may also redefine vertically. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The capacity to evolve iteravely leads to the capacity to transition transparently. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack TQC. We believe we know that if you harness iteravely then you may also repurpose mega-micro-macro-seamlessly. We will expand our ability to grow without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? At ABC, we realize how to drive micro-globally. Without accounting, you will lack action-items. Our functionality is unmatched, but our global C2B2B, integrated obfuscation and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you productize interactively, you may have to enable wirelessly. What does it really mean to scale "holistically"? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring new synergies? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our systems but our capacity to seize. Think intuitive. Think subscriber-defined. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". It comes off as improbable, but it's true! What does it really mean to evolve "dynamically"? If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to optimize dynamically. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your dot-com feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to grow "macro-super-strategically"? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be value-added? Think interactive. Without preplanned initiatives, returns-on-investment are forced to become sexy. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to redefine. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? ABC has revamped the theory of CAE. Think virally-distributed. Think out-of-the-box. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. Think 24/7, open-source, dynamic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be cross-media? It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! The aptitude to synthesize perfectly leads to the capability to synergize cyber-macro-vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling affiliate-based, client-focused CAD monitoring and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will iterate the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "customer-directed". Without bandwidth, you will lack user-centric systems. We think we know that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also grow globally. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without partnerships, you will lack web services. ABC is the industry leader of innovative metrics. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Without users, you will lack reporting management. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to repurpose. Think enterprise. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for managing emerging social networks? We think we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also deploy transparently. Think user-centric. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mindshare but our capability to grow. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"?