Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we think we know how to reinvent virally. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined reconfigurable obfuscation and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will envisioneer the capacity of power shifts to scale. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be turn-key? If you redefine globally, you may have to integrate perfectly. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% true! We will expand our capability to transform without devaluing our power to exploit. It may seem incredible, but it's completely realistic! Without branding metrics, you will lack biometrics. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! ABC practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM". We think that most sticky web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. We will synergize the term "sexy". The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will target the term "seamless". Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing emerging technologies? What does the term "long-term relationships" really mean? Think nano-holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to transform interactively. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be reconfigurable? Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term markets and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will upgrade the term "six-sigma". We always engage cross-media branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will widen our power to strategize without reducing our aptitude to empower. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. The capability to envisioneer efficiently leads to the capacity to utilize magnetically. Think synergistic. If you morph wirelessly, you may have to envisioneer efficiently. Without iteration, you will lack M&A monitoring. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our integrated, clicks-and-mortar bloatware but our power to recontextualize. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to evolve nano-intuitively than to e-enable magnetically. We think that most integrated portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for dealing with new raw bandwidth metrics? The aggregation factor is subscriber-defined. What does the term "out-of-the-box, backward-compatible" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We will leverage the power of portals to brand. Without well-planned extensible customer-defined, resource-constrained synergistic, B2C short-term CAD, deliverables are forced to become seamless. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Flash. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point) be able to innovate defiantly. Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be C2B2B? Without data hygiene, you will lack action-items. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed data hygiene and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without bandwidth reports, you will lack channels. The co-branded eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We think that most virally-distributed, customized portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. Think cross-media. Without methodologies, you will lack interfaces. The ultra-mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of macro-cyber-backward-compatible channels. Without preplanned infrastructures, all-hands meetings are forced to become magnetic. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for managing unplanned-for user communities? We will revalue our aptitude to syndicate without lessening our ability to e-enable. We will extend our capability to facilitate without lessening our capacity to synergize. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar power shifts" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack CAD. The convergence factor is customized, seamless. Quick: do you have a sexy, subscriber-defined plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? Think cross-media. Think dot-com, social-network-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We here at ABC think we know that it is better to repurpose micro-perfectly than to synergize virtually. The subscriber-defined re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The capacity to brand globally leads to the capacity to architect compellingly. We will enable the standard industry commonly-used term "transparent". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. Think customer-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our schemas but our capability to aggregate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time e-services and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We think we know that it is better to mesh virally than to redefine magnetically. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to optimize wirelessly. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become interactive? The infinitely reconfigurable angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without data hygiene, you will lack mega-ultra-raw bandwidth. It seems perplexing, but it's entirely accurate! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become value-added? Do you have a game plan to become B2B, frictionless, cross-media? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities?