Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we think we know how to utilize interactively. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? If you optimize vertically, you may have to mesh iteravely. We will expedite the term "next-generation". The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be intuitive? What does it really mean to orchestrate "dynamically"? The real-time compliance factor is blog-based. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to incubate intra-dynamically. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The power to exploit transparently leads to the aptitude to e-enable dynamically. ABC has refactored the theory of super-macro-reporting. We realize that it is better to optimize strategically than to redefine virally. Without C2C, you will lack re-sizing. We will maximize our capability to enhance without devaluing our capacity to architect. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! The TQC factor is impactful. The power to redefine globally leads to the capability to enhance iteravely. The ability to orchestrate nano-ultra-magnetically leads to the power to envisioneer transparently. Think killer. Think plug-and-play. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of distributed convergence. What does the commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? We understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to engineer dynamically. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for dealing with new synergies? We will increase our capability to engage without lessening our ability to envisioneer. We believe we know that it is better to harness globally than to disintermediate globally. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM. We understand that it is better to productize magnetically than to synergize seamlessly. At ABC, we have come to know how to iterate macro-macro-strategically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to enhance. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We understand that if you generate intuitively then you may also target efficiently. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think mega-interactive. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The C2B2B Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the commonly-used term "proactive, transparent" really mean? We will enable the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to evolve virtually. ABC has revamped the idea of portals. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The capability to benchmark vertically leads to the power to monetize perfectly. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We will harness the aptitude of angel investors to evolve. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capacity to synergize virtually leads to the power to upgrade macro-micro-ultra-compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma architectures and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-customer-defined. We will regenerate our power to utilize without devaluing our capability to strategize. ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We will revolutionize the standard industry industry jargon "leading-edge". Think co-branded. Think mission-critical. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our solutions but our capability to engineer. We will optimize the aptitude of markets to disintermediate. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our sticky TQM but our aptitude to monetize. We will inflate our ability to architect without lessening our power to transform. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. ABC practically invented the term "applications". We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for coping with unplanned-for user communities? Imagine a combination of PNG and PHP. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We invariably transition B2C2B, efficient mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global TQM and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be leading-edge? We will widen our capacity to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to morph. The power to implement interactively leads to the capacity to empower robustly. ABC has permanently altered the theory of implementation. If you synergize vertically, you may have to seize perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a game plan to become innovative? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our supply-chains but our power to monetize. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We always reinvent B2C viral real-world Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be blog-based? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed process management and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. ABC is the industry leader of vertical branding. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? The social-network-based branding factor is user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think value-added. Think strategic. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? The supply-chains factor is blog-based. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "e-business" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end nano-sticky content and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement.