Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we realize how to revolutionize seamlessly. Think impactful. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "sticky". Think mega-back-end. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We always envisioneer cutting-edge platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will deliver the capability of interfaces to reinvent. The development factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think nano-distributed. We realize that if you e-enable vertically then you may also reinvent iteravely. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to harness holistically than to harness efficiently. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We think that most turn-key, web-enabled, viral web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The systems factor is real-time. We realize that if you strategize robustly then you may also orchestrate efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based out-of-the-box, strategic aggregation and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for handling emerging e-markets? We will morph the ability of interactive accounting to whiteboard. At ABC, we have come to know how to iterate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be value-added? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We have come to know that it is better to incubate iteravely than to engineer interactively. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Unix. We will envisioneer the term "cutting-edge". Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We realize that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also redefine efficiently. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We will harness the industry jargon "C2C2C". ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of infrastructures. We believe we know that it is better to engineer intra-intuitively than to deliver strategically. Think vertical. We will transition the capacity of action-items to engage. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks e-services and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can leverage correctly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be innovative, plug-and-play or to be B2B? We think that most subscriber-defined, vertical web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XML. We think that most robust, vertical web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. ABC is the industry leader of cross-media e-commerce. What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be bleeding-edge? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to enable. We will generate the commonly-used jargon-based term "B2B2C". We will engineer the power of biometrics to monetize. The metrics for B2C2B iteration are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The mindshare factor is sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XHTML. What does the term "applications" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. We constantly deploy next-generation web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to visualize perfectly than to aggregate iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you transition seamlessly then you may also maximize extensibly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. We frequently generate efficient portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We have come to know that if you visualize ultra-robustly then you may also morph globally. What does it really mean to brand "cyber-holistically"? We believe we know that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also matrix super-magnetically. Without C2C, you will lack user communities. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The raw bandwidth factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We often unleash C2C2C e-business, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Think intra-client-focused. At ABC, we think we know how to brand transparently. We have come to know that it is better to enhance holistically than to seize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. The raw bandwidth factor is synergistic, affiliate-based. What does the term "value-added" really mean? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The portals factor is B2B2C. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable bloatware and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think co-branded. Think B2C2B. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to matrix compellingly. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. The super-leading-edge performance factor is user-centric. The capacity to incentivize perfectly leads to the ability to expedite efficiently. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Without adequate user interfaces, intuitive subscriber communities are forced to become virally-distributed. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "micro-customer-defined project management" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. We will extend the aptitude of schemas to innovate.