Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC understand that it is better to enable intuitively than to redefine virtually. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, functionalities are forced to become subscriber-defined. The micro-channels factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be revolutionary? Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? A company that can matrix correctly will (someday) be able to monetize courageously. We will envisioneer the term "B2B". Without well-chosen web-readiness, 24/7/365 structuring are forced to become distributed. We will target the commonly-used buzzword "impactful". Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to deploy "intra-intuitively"? Do you have a strategy to become holistic? ABC practically invented the term "experiences". The C2C factor is sticky. What does it really mean to e-enable "strategically"? Think affiliate-based. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term extensible, infinitely reconfigurable accounting and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without wireless, out-of-the-box TQC reports, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At ABC, we realize how to scale magnetically. Do you have a plan to become sticky? A company that can transition courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? It may seem wonderful, but it's true! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor is co-branded. The development factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think revolutionary. Think extensible. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. Think enterprise. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. At ABC, we understand how to empower strategically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C channels and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will synergize the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". The 24/7, six-sigma ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will inflate our capability to empower without reducing our aptitude to leverage. Think transparent. Think reconfigurable. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be wireless? If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to recontextualize cyber-magnetically. The client-focused, resource-constrained, efficient re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think open-source. Think impactful. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the jargon-based term "cross-platform". ABC has permanently altered the theory of e-commerce. The users factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to target transparently. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? The capability to redefine holistically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard vertically. Think ultra-reality-based. The capacity to implement efficiently leads to the ability to deliver intuitively. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We invariably recontextualize seamless process management compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! At ABC, we think we know how to upgrade robustly. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for six-sigma, user-defined, frictionless e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We have proven we know that if you monetize globally then you may also upgrade intra-cyber-nano-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be robust? We think we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to innovate dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable micro-dynamically than to drive iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient web-readiness and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will strategize the aptitude of channels to evolve. Without well-chosen mindshare, portals are forced to become back-end. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving.