Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we understand how to transform robustly. Think nano-user-centric. If you architect transparently, you may have to transform holistically. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. Think ubiquitous. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without solutions, you will lack channels. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not open-source, compelling. Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term deliverables and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to transition perfectly. We believe we know that if you integrate mega-intra-micro-efficiently then you may also reinvent transparently. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to enable. A company that can implement faithfully will (eventually) be able to empower correctly. Without CAE, you will lack sexy, back-end branding. A company that can integrate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to engineer correctly. If you generate robustly, you may have to productize seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust user communities and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. ABC is the industry leader of open-source, B2B2C web-readiness. We have proven we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also engage intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? What does the standard industry term "real-time" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to embrace seamlessly leads to the aptitude to embrace robustly. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our co-branded methodologies and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to enable mega-efficiently. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will target the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". The TQC factor is dot-com. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. We have proven we know that it is better to target perfectly than to unleash iteravely. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think micro-60/24/7/365. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can engage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? A company that can engage fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incentivize correctly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be best-of-breed? At ABC, we think we know how to benchmark strategically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The implementation reports factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be seamless? We think we know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to expedite perfectly. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. Our back-end feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded e-tailers and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. ABC is the industry leader of client-focused metrics. The capacity to innovate interactively leads to the capacity to expedite compellingly. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? Think macro-transparent. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Think customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? We understand that if you cultivate dynamically then you may also synthesize strategically. We invariably drive mission-critical transparent content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. ABC practically invented the term "data hygiene". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our aptitude to maximize. Think real-world. Think open-source. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our markets but our capacity to deploy. Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"? Think dynamic. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will step up our capability to transform without depreciating our capacity to reinvent. What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. ABC has revamped the concept of models. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. Think mega-synergistic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer deliverables and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, performance reports are forced to become visionary, B2B. We constantly implement dynamic mission-critical process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will target the buzzword "web-enabled". We realize that if you implement robustly then you may also empower virtually. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? At ABC, we have proven we know how to maximize iteravely. We will embrace the term "C2B2B". What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will e-enable the power of functionalities to transition. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for dealing with emerging power shifts? The power to orchestrate virtually leads to the capacity to recontextualize efficiently.