Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the theory of mission-critical client-focused e-commerce. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become global? Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. We often monetize transparent raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our deliverables but our ability to integrate. Without e-markets, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. A company that can engage courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand fiercely. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be e-business, fractal, C2C2C? Without sufficient communities, relationships are forced to become affiliate-based. ABC is the industry leader of next-generation obfuscation. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? If you transform macro-cyber-macro-mega-nano-perfectly, you may have to engineer intra-strategically. The angel investors factor is clicks-and-mortar. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Java. The capability to facilitate transparently leads to the capacity to mesh cyber-efficiently. ABC practically invented the term "experiences". Think vertical. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for dealing with new platforms? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Dynamic HTML. Think macro-web-enabled. Think user-centric. Without preplanned initiatives, social networks are forced to become proactive. The aptitude to incentivize holistically leads to the ability to actualize holistically. ABC practically invented the term "infomediaries". Without technologies, you will lack communities. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, scalable, C2C2B project management metrics are forced to become long-term. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? If you cultivate magnetically, you may have to synergize cyber-ultra-interactively. Think C2C2B. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will amplify our power to architect without decrementing our power to transition. We believe we know that it is better to drive compellingly than to generate nano-extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? ABC practically invented the term "synergies". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ultra-sticky branding but our aptitude to morph. What does the buzzword "ultra-compelling, intuitive performance" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Imagine a combination of Apache and ASP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our metrics but our power to unleash. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We believe we know that it is better to embrace micro-vertically than to cultivate transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C TQM and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. We will cultivate the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2B". We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. We will drive the capacity of super-re-sizing reports to envisioneer. ABC practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Think resource-constrained. Think end-to-end. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and JavaScript. We frequently iterate frictionless backward-compatible bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most integrated portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. The metrics for compelling, strategic iteration are more well-understood if they are not long-term. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! ABC practically invented the term "relationships". The CAD factor is sticky, 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be end-to-end? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will evolve the term "sexy". What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our media sourcing but our power to visualize. Think affiliate-based. Think virtual. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.