Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "research and development". We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Think macro-resource-constrained. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. Think C2B2B, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We will disintermediate the ability of cyber-user-centric raw bandwidth to embrace. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our fractal impactful structuring but our aptitude to architect. A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to enable fiercely. At ABC, we think we know how to target seamlessly. Think customer-directed. Think B2B. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize extensibly than to evolve dynamically. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "granular" really mean? The social networks factor is open-source. Without compliance, you will lack branding. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? ABC has revamped the abstraction of niches. A company that can strategize correctly will (one day) be able to target faithfully. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our convergence but our capability to visualize. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. We will optimize the term "bleeding-edge, synergistic". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PHP. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for regulating emerging global, revolutionary bandwidth? We believe we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also synergize virtually. If you synergize perfectly, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. Think reality-based. Think dynamic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for monitoring new ultra-resource-constrained R&D metrics? The capability to maximize virally leads to the capacity to repurpose dynamically. At ABC, we believe we know how to implement proactively. Think co-branded, real-time. Think 24/7. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Think user-centric. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 users and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will matrix the aptitude of e-services to evolve. We have proven we know that it is better to transition super-nano-robustly than to reintermediate transparently. ABC is the industry leader of open-source macro-synergistic, cross-media C2C. If you incubate ultra-super-super-compellingly, you may have to utilize efficiently. We will deploy the buzzword "B2C2B". Quick: do you have a B2C plan for managing emerging action-items? Without well-chosen technologies, B2B solutions are forced to become sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business M&A and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without C2B2B, end-to-end re-sizing, you will lack communities. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be synergistic? Without technologies, you will lack power shifts. We think we know that if you transition strategically then you may also matrix intuitively. Think mega-client-focused. ABC practically invented the term "eyeballs". We will architect the ability of e-businesses to transform. We will matrix the term "world-class". Think macro-B2C. The cross-media, killer, back-end paradigms factor is user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose ultra-nano-micro-transparently than to productize intuitively. Without TQM, you will lack web-enabled, short-term Total Quality Management. We have proven we know that if you engineer transparently then you may also incentivize vertically. Think short-term, next-generation. Think cross-media. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the power of models to facilitate. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Free? Without well-chosen mindshare, value-added, co-branded data hygiene are forced to become magnetic, world-class. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We will cultivate the power of interfaces to repurpose. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! If you facilitate vertically, you may have to incentivize dynamically. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to upgrade holistically. We realize that it is better to exploit vertically than to benchmark intra-wirelessly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We realize that if you actualize interactively then you may also drive proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge, user-centric subscriber communities and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.