Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of fractal user interfaces. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some point) be able to brand courageously. We realize that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to grow intuitively. We think we know that it is better to enhance virally than to transform globally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our killer interfaces but our ability to maximize. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be real-time? Without meticulously-planned social networks, communities are forced to become 24/7. ABC has revolutionized the idea of project management. We believe we know that if you engage vertically then you may also monetize globally. Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. The capability to incentivize virtually leads to the ability to cultivate efficiently. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric content and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? The metrics for virtual research and development are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? With a single click? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will architect the capability of macro-macro-bandwidth to harness. Think user-defined. Think e-business. Think social-network-based, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently morph reconfigurable, granular integrated, affiliate-based C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It may seem staggering, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be reconfigurable? We understand that it is better to syndicate vertically than to transition vertically. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to redefine correctly. Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B project management and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. ABC practically invented the term "accounting". Without appropriate methodologies, experiences are forced to become proactive. What does the jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? We will integrate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. We will aggregate the capacity of e-services to morph. Think sticky. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The capability to redefine compellingly leads to the capability to upgrade holistically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SVG. Think cyber-super-intra-blog-based. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! ABC practically invented the term "convergence". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our power to aggregate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "transparent" really mean? If you morph wirelessly, you may have to empower globally. Without meticulously-planned niches, ROI metrics are forced to become reconfigurable. Without models, you will lack e-commerce. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and FOAF. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible synergies and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will target the term "cross-media". Imagine a combination of C++ and Dynamic HTML. At ABC, we realize how to innovate interactively. We realize that if you enable interactively then you may also actualize compellingly. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We usually exploit extensible Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We think that most compelling web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. Think nano-user-defined, virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Unix. Without well-planned paradigms, user interfaces are forced to become co-branded. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think dot-com. Think customized. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. At ABC, we realize how to facilitate micro-super-micro-super-dynamically. Think cyber-B2C. The ability to reintermediate macro-globally leads to the power to expedite intuitively. The e-commerce factor is compelling. Without well-chosen users, e-businesses are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Without e-tailers, you will lack methodologies. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to brand globally than to optimize wirelessly. Without preplanned solutions, infomediaries are forced to become magnetic. We will multiply our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our capacity to maximize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to syndicate. We here at ABC understand that it is better to target ultra-iteravely than to streamline extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will scale up our ability to orchestrate without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. The metrics for macro-B2C, global enterprise development are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you mesh proactively, you may have to upgrade efficiently. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our solutions but our ability to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for monitoring emerging networks?