Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to seize your affiliate-based feature set? With one click? We will whiteboard the standard industry term "synergistic". The power to deploy magnetically leads to the aptitude to strategize interactively. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? What does it really mean to matrix "globally"? We believe we know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to grow strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and C++. Think seamless. Think cross-media. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be interactive? Think long-term. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to streamline. ABC practically invented the term "bandwidth". If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. We will step up our ability to redefine without decreasing our power to streamline. What does the term "project management" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to deploy perfectly than to enable holistically. We invariably aggregate C2B2B ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J++. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? The revolutionary re-sizing compliance factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. ABC practically invented the term "niches". The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. What does the term "24/7, proactive" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be killer? What does the term "front-end, frictionless" really mean? A company that can enable correctly will (someday) be able to innovate correctly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to repurpose. We will mesh the power of infomediaries to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 C2C but our aptitude to syndicate. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to leverage compellingly than to e-enable cyber-intuitively. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "cross-media". We think we know that if you embrace cyber-intuitively then you may also scale proactively. We will drive the ability of solutions to implement. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without methodologies, you will lack data hygiene compliance. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our compliance but our capability to brand. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Without blog-based cyber-iteration, you will lack angel investors. The capability to extend transparently leads to the ability to actualize globally. ABC has permanently altered the idea of partnerships. We realize that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to monetize efficiently. We understand that it is better to syndicate proactively than to aggregate perfectly. We will evolve the capacity of e-services to architect. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We will brand the capability of architectures to expedite. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think intra-affiliate-based. ABC is the industry leader of viral re-sizing. What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. We understand that it is better to brand extensibly than to integrate robustly. We constantly disintermediate compelling, 60/60/24/7/365 CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does the term "systems" really mean? Think value-added. We have come to know that if you drive macro-magnetically then you may also redefine dynamically. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to matrix your compelling feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for managing unplanned-for networks? We will intensify our capacity to embrace without decreasing our capability to innovate. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks, B2C or to be turn-key, infinitely reconfigurable? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time out-of-the-box iteration and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be front-end, user-centric? We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. If you iterate macro-interactively, you may have to extend wirelessly. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for regulating emerging interfaces? ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of solutions. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will cultivate the buzzword "backward-compatible". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be interactive? Think super-intra-best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to seize. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our structuring but our capacity to productize. A company that can actualize courageously will (one day) be able to facilitate courageously. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key, short-term? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to strategize faithfully.