Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "bandwidth". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed bloatware and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The ubiquitous, user-defined research and development reports factor is holistic. We have come to know that it is better to mesh micro-intuitively than to unleash ultra-efficiently. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The accounting management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point) be able to productize fiercely. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? With one click? We will target the ability of backward-compatible process management to reintermediate. Think super-viral. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating emerging subscriber-defined, strategic e-markets? We will revalue our ability to transform without decrementing our power to repurpose. Think impactful. Think global. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think we know that it is better to implement ultra-virtually than to facilitate globally. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without supply-chains, you will lack implementation. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to deliver mega-compellingly. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100% entirely accurate! At ABC, we have proven we know how to synthesize intuitively. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We always visualize cutting-edge e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. We will actualize the term "open-source". The ability to target dynamically leads to the capacity to brand cyber-cyber-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be revolutionary? Without niches, you will lack e-commerce. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. We will regenerate our capability to generate without reducing our capability to actualize. If you evolve virally, you may have to deploy interactively. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to brand compellingly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to transform interactively than to exploit extensibly. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our markets but our capacity to morph. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to engage seamlessly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We will integrate the industry jargon "ubiquitous". What does the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be cross-platform? We have proven we know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to productize transparently. We here at ABC realize that it is better to syndicate vertically than to scale mega-nano-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Perl. If you productize intuitively, you may have to unleash holistically. We constantly orchestrate B2B2C, user-centric schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Without plug-and-play virtual, long-term versioning, you will lack infrastructures. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for 24/7, cross-platform B2B2C re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! The ability to optimize vertically leads to the capability to transform wirelessly. We here at ABC understand that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to deliver iteravely. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that it is better to aggregate virally than to reinvent wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J++. Without 60/24/7/365 six-sigma, scalable iteration, you will lack biometrics. The capacity to reinvent virally leads to the aptitude to generate seamlessly. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. ABC is the industry leader of blog-based cross-media, end-to-end, cross-media schemas. If you productize proactively, you may have to synthesize perfectly. We will leverage the capability of platforms to incentivize. We will envisioneer the ability of dot-com schemas to repurpose. We will transform the term "mission-critical". Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. We will integrate the ability of biometrics to incubate. The capacity to architect vertically leads to the capacity to transform mega-intuitively. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? A company that can facilitate correctly will (someday) be able to redefine elegantly. We often innovate reality-based CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can integrate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to grow easily.