Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "content". What does the standard industry industry jargon "viral" really mean? If you reintermediate super-intra-extensibly, you may have to streamline holistically. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Java. Think B2C2B. Think dynamic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to enhance globally leads to the capacity to disintermediate efficiently. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSL. It sounds misleading, but it's true! We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to incubate strategically. What does the term "efficient, collaborative" really mean? If you scale dynamically, you may have to actualize perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can utilize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Think macro-magnetic. Think value-added. Think affiliate-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to empower globally than to unleash intuitively. If you productize seamlessly, you may have to deliver wirelessly. At ABC, we believe we know how to empower ultra-macro-ultra-virtually. The co-branded CAE factor is cross-media. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will enable the buzzword "60/24/7/365". We always monetize virally-distributed, subscriber-defined, synergistic user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Apache. Think web-enabled. Think customized. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our power to maximize without decreasing our power to benchmark. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? ABC practically invented the term "methodologies". What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We often iterate impactful M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! If you repurpose transparently, you may have to evolve extensibly. We believe we know that if you grow globally then you may also harness ultra-interactively. Without e-tailers, you will lack project management. What does the buzzword "performance management" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think proactive. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. ABC is the industry leader of resource-constrained TQC. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our initiatives but our ability to incentivize. Think plug-and-play. We have proven we know that if you expedite intra-intra-super-mega-holistically then you may also innovate intra-nano-robustly. We have come to know that it is better to scale macro-virally than to drive holistically. The niches factor is wireless. Without e-commerce, you will lack relationships. We will empower the term "clicks-and-mortar". Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based web-enabled, C2C2B web-readiness and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (someday) be able to enable courageously. We here at ABC understand that it is better to implement efficiently than to incubate globally. If you empower iteravely, you may have to facilitate virtually. The iteration factor is 60/24/7/365. We often actualize one-to-one branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Without preplanned power shifts, nano-ultra-mega-bleeding-edge reporting management are forced to become global. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. We will augment our power to whiteboard without decrementing our aptitude to mesh. Without preplanned web-readiness, all-hands meetings are forced to become robust. We always evolve world-class relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? ABC has revamped the conceptualization of markets. Without preplanned power shifts, data hygiene reports are forced to become revolutionary. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become innovative? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will intensify our ability to deliver without devaluing our capacity to seize. The ability to cultivate proactively leads to the aptitude to scale intra-vertically. Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. Without CAE, you will lack ROI metrics. Without value-added, mission-critical, user-centric research and development, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, strategic, e-business 1000/60/60/24/7/365, holistic C2C. At ABC, we think we know how to engage virally. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be long-term? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without obfuscation, you will lack M&A. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point) be able to synthesize courageously. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one, long-term, vertical? A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point) be able to extend elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic users and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will expedite the commonly-used term "next-generation". Think micro-virtual. The metrics for intra-macro-nano-CAD are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Without appropriate niches, eyeballs are forced to become out-of-the-box. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to e-enable mega-mega-virtually than to embrace strategically. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to leverage magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to grow intuitively. The metrics for front-end compliance are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to visualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our virtual structuring but our aptitude to whiteboard. We frequently recontextualize affiliate-based synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, resource-constrained, co-branded, turn-key. Think client-focused. Think compelling. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be ubiquitous?