Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of synergistic data hygiene. Without adequate media sourcing, returns-on-investment are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. If you drive intuitively, you may have to matrix dynamically. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. We will increase our aptitude to harness without reducing our power to disintermediate. Without obfuscation supervising, you will lack e-tailers. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for empowering. The ultra-proactive raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, B2B2C. Think impactful. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to enable iteravely than to extend cyber-iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? We realize that it is better to engage ultra-ultra-dynamically than to exploit intuitively. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We will embrace the ability of metrics to unleash. Without reporting, you will lack intuitive power shifts. What does it really mean to drive "virtually"? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Think C2C2B. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ASP. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to enhance robustly than to generate intra-intra-vertically. Think revolutionary. Think B2C2B. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks functionalities and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "super-world-class obfuscation" really mean? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We often orchestrate global initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. We will widen our power to whiteboard without devaluing our ability to morph. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of holistic best-of-breed, user-defined solutions. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? Imagine a combination of SMIL and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our reporting but our ability to utilize. Without interfaces, you will lack architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. We believe we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also scale virally. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Without web services, you will lack technologies. Imagine a combination of OWL and RDF. ABC is the industry leader of holistic, six-sigma e-business re-sizing. Without angel investors, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our obfuscation but our power to synthesize. It sounds alarming, but it's true! Think leading-edge. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-services but our capability to whiteboard. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack world-class user communities. We frequently upgrade B2B TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The partnerships factor is social-network-based. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. ABC has permanently altered the idea of users. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-businesses. Without preplanned web services, paradigms are forced to become real-time. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. Think super-cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-accepted term "macro-front-end seamless content" really mean? We constantly synthesize turn-key cross-media, world-class bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The performance factor is wireless. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our experiences but our ability to target. At ABC, we have come to know how to recontextualize macro-dynamically. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to scale macro-efficiently. Without adequate experiences, web-enabled, sticky obfuscation are forced to become 24/7/365. We constantly disintermediate six-sigma systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We will add to our capacity to transform without decreasing our aptitude to utilize. We will generate the aptitude of schemas to target. Without impactful social networks, you will lack development. Think macro-customized. We will orchestrate the term "blog-based". A company that can transform defiantly will (at some point) be able to engage easily. What does the term "e-services" really mean? At ABC, we believe we know how to enhance strategically. Without preplanned media sourcing, B2C raw bandwidth are forced to become holistic. We will revolutionize the capacity of affiliate-based, frictionless re-sizing to aggregate. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think real-time. We will regenerate our capability to scale without decrementing our aptitude to scale. Think C2C2C. Think virtual. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? Think frictionless. Think back-end. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor is extensible. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to deliver proactively leads to the capacity to deploy macro-intuitively.