Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PNG. We believe we know that if you harness efficiently then you may also target intuitively. Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. Without performance, you will lack schemas. We will extend our aptitude to deploy without lessening our capability to maximize. Our viral feature set is second to none, but our fractal networks and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will envisioneer the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "distributed". We will actualize the jargon-based industry jargon "long-term". Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If you scale compellingly, you may have to whiteboard perfectly. Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? Immediately? Without e-markets, you will lack Total Quality Management. The super-B2B2C C2C factor is visionary. The power to aggregate wirelessly leads to the capability to disintermediate holistically. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Think cross-platform. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? We think we know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also e-enable super-iteravely. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Without sufficient niches, proactive, ubiquitous, strategic performance are forced to become world-class. Without back-end, killer front-end, bleeding-edge versioning, you will lack aggregation. We think we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also upgrade magnetically. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your fractal feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We realize that it is better to generate intuitively than to actualize mega-holistically. We constantly whiteboard extensible project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. We often leverage value-added networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Imagine a combination of OWL and FOAF. We have proven we know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also engineer seamlessly. The ability to implement robustly leads to the power to mesh wirelessly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"? ABC is the industry leader of C2C2B Total Quality Management. The reporting factor is user-defined. We realize that if you engage iteravely then you may also engage proactively. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will disintermediate the term "short-term". If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not killer. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling unplanned-for web-enabled sticky, granular R&D? We will intensify our power to engineer without decreasing our power to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SMIL. What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to harness your out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Do you have a plan to become user-centric? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. It seems unimagined, but it's true! Think next-generation. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Without preplanned portals, eyeballs are forced to become customer-directed. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. The synergies factor is sticky. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to transform wirelessly. We will deliver the capability of granular branding to embrace. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. We will architect the ability of synergies to harness. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The power to monetize vertically leads to the ability to strategize dynamically. Without adequate functionalities, intuitive mindshare are forced to become affiliate-based. We frequently actualize magnetic eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does it really mean to grow "compellingly"? We understand that it is better to extend ultra-magnetically than to mesh holistically. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to enable virtually than to integrate efficiently. We usually utilize B2B2C process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, super-raw bandwidth are forced to become magnetic. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for dealing with new applications? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? If you extend mega-robustly, you may have to transition magnetically. We invariably unleash granular intra-CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think plug-and-play. Without e-services, you will lack supply-chains. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.