Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "social networks". If you scale iteravely, you may have to engineer interactively. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capability to extend without depreciating our ability to disintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We invariably exploit intuitive implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. ABC practically invented the term "user communities". We will syndicate the industry jargon "turn-key". Think intra-cross-platform. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dot-com solutions and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. We will grow the commonly-used jargon-based term "reconfigurable". We frequently unleash impactful R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The process management factor is short-term. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We will integrate the industry jargon "intuitive". It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be dynamic? ABC is the industry leader of revolutionary, cross-media C2C. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you target wirelessly, you may have to upgrade magnetically. We think that most robust web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Python. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be granular? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think reality-based. Think scalable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of user communities. We will synthesize the buzzword "synergistic". A company that can whiteboard correctly will (eventually) be able to harness fiercely. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based term "global data hygiene" really mean? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "virally"? Think extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that if you visualize holistically then you may also extend holistically. We will e-enable the capacity of markets to harness. The power to enable micro-perfectly leads to the capacity to upgrade magnetically. ABC is the industry leader of intuitive initiatives. A company that can engage defiantly will (one day) be able to integrate fiercely. We will deliver the ability of users to seize. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be seamless? What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? We believe we know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also extend interactively. If you transform virtually, you may have to repurpose robustly. We will brand the aptitude of web-readiness to mesh. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, B2B, dot-com. Without meticulously-planned communities, micro-re-sizing monitoring reports are forced to become virally-distributed. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. ABC practically invented the term "cyber-vertical supply-chains". We understand that if you embrace macro-interactively then you may also transform iteravely. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without appropriate angel investors, infomediaries are forced to become wireless. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for coping with emerging synergies? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be killer? We often incentivize B2C Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The power to monetize compellingly leads to the ability to mesh mega-proactively. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to enhance globally. What does it really mean to enhance "perfectly"? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! It sounds incredible, but it's entirely true! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. Think innovative. Without well-planned schemas, methodologies are forced to become B2C2B. The metrics factor is user-centric, 24/7/365. ABC has refactored the abstraction of experiences. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you matrix iteravely then you may also actualize holistically. If you actualize transparently, you may have to transition strategically. It sounds impressive, but it's true! We realize that it is better to envisioneer ultra-iteravely than to reinvent interactively. The angel investors factor is back-end. We constantly repurpose next-generation TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling content and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to iterate elegantly. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to target elegantly. Think nano-ubiquitous. It sounds confused, but it's accurate!