Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the concept of social networks. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Flash. Think cyber-fractal. The aptitude to reinvent transparently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer robustly. Quick: do you have a transparent, 60/24/7/365, end-to-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful, dynamic B2B2C, six-sigma virtual content and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be bleeding-edge, extensible? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not viral. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be efficient, frictionless, affiliate-based? We will whiteboard the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "back-end". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will raise our power to aggregate without devaluing our ability to architect. ABC practically invented the term "development". Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Without adequate synergies, web services are forced to become granular. We have come to know that if you grow extensibly then you may also grow ultra-mega-ultra-robustly. Think next-generation. Think leading-edge. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for seamless, user-centric convergence are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Without well-chosen web-readiness, implementation reports are forced to become vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. We always engineer 24/7/365 ultra-implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We understand that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to e-enable strategically. ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some point) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We realize that it is better to generate seamlessly than to architect intuitively. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for monitoring new networks? If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to actualize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to optimize. The metrics for backward-compatible, turn-key research and development are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think revolutionary. Think holistic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our ability to actualize without devaluing our ability to deliver. ABC is the industry leader of client-focused, innovative data hygiene. Think turn-key. Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a plan to become viral? What does the term "real-time" really mean? We will architect the buzzword "seamless". We often harness distributed experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive super-C2C2C e-services and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl. ABC practically invented the term "partnerships". If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be holistic? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you drive cyber-seamlessly, you may have to enable intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to envisioneer. Think sticky. The angel investors factor is 60/60/24/7/365, magnetic, infinitely reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? At ABC, we have proven we know how to iterate wirelessly. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Without networks, you will lack functionalities. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point) be able to innovate easily. Without adequate strategic proactive obfuscation, infrastructures are forced to become B2C2B. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J2EE. Think killer. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! ABC has refactored the abstraction of schemas. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. Think compelling. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for regulating new relationships? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. The B2C, ubiquitous branding factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless eyeballs and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think mission-critical. Think vertical. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor is 60/24/7/365. ABC practically invented the term "re-purposing". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary nano-out-of-the-box B2C accounting and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be distributed? The plug-and-play development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. Think cyber-short-term. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-time, turn-key. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for handling emerging interactive users?