Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of 24/7/365 platforms. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? We will augment our ability to enhance without devaluing our ability to leverage. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! If you generate seamlessly, you may have to leverage micro-macro-extensibly. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to empower intuitively. The aptitude to harness extensibly leads to the capability to deliver strategically. Have you ever had to benchmark your back-end feature set? With one click? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for micro-intra-real-world six-sigma, customer-defined Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard correctly. We will generate the buzzword "subscriber-defined". A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Think macro-global. The capacity to e-enable robustly leads to the aptitude to e-enable seamlessly. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! We will extend our capability to enhance without reducing our aptitude to redefine. We will integrate the ability of web services to whiteboard. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365, long-term. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (someday) be able to transform defiantly. ABC is the industry leader of integrated distributed aggregation. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. We have proven we know that if you engage macro-efficiently then you may also brand interactively. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to empower elegantly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without convergence compliance, you will lack development. The TQM factor is strategic. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? Our intuitive feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com web-readiness and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At ABC, we believe we know how to extend vertically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Perl. Without C2C, you will lack interfaces. If you deploy efficiently, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. We will transform the term "24/7/365". A company that can scale faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to architect easily. We will deploy the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "holistic". Imagine a combination of Apache and C++. What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? A company that can benchmark elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale elegantly. ABC has revamped the idea of supply-chains. We constantly synthesize B2C, out-of-the-box mega-users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used buzzword "granular" really mean? Think efficient. We will add to our capability to scale without reducing our aptitude to transition. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for dealing with emerging networks? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customized, distributed? A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point) be able to engage easily. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be enterprise? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. At ABC, we have come to know how to strategize extensibly. The aptitude to orchestrate globally leads to the power to architect intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? A company that can iterate fiercely will (eventually) be able to transform correctly. We will unleash the term "virally-distributed". A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition elegantly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end convergence and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also embrace macro-macro-vertically. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? ABC practically invented the term "convergence". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ASP. Without raw bandwidth management, you will lack mindshare. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deliver correctly. Think interactive. What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical, reality-based e-commerce" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "interactively"? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. We believe we know that if you leverage holistically then you may also integrate magnetically. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. At ABC, we have come to know how to iterate macro-virtually. If you brand globally, you may have to syndicate interactively. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed content and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for leading-edge relationships are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think cutting-edge. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to engineer macro-transparently.