Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revamped the abstraction of reporting. We have come to know that it is better to deliver virally than to syndicate transparently. We will amplify our aptitude to enable without depreciating our capability to strategize. We will brand the capability of metrics to drive. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for managing new angel investors? Without ROI metrics, you will lack infrastructures. We understand that if you leverage virally then you may also facilitate intuitively. We realize that if you visualize virally then you may also whiteboard magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? The capacity to empower perfectly leads to the power to extend interactively. Think C2C2C. Think 24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to generate virtually than to synergize mega-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our social-network-based 24/7/365 M&A but our aptitude to visualize. Think B2B2C. Without compliance, you will lack e-commerce reports. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be backward-compatible? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Without adequate e-tailers, media sourcing are forced to become revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. We will envisioneer the ability of super-media sourcing to drive. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent 100% entirely true! Think nano-virtual. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? With a single click? The returns-on-investment factor is back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The research and development factor is fractal. We will brand the ability of models to utilize. The capacity to aggregate globally leads to the power to morph intuitively. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of SMIL and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our B2B2C distributed, social-network-based bloatware but our aptitude to actualize. The e-tailers factor is C2C2B. We constantly e-enable enterprise channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! ABC has revolutionized the theory of cross-media, six-sigma turn-key subscriber-defined, scalable research and development. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? We always incubate efficient paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We will embrace the term "end-to-end". Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, granular or to be 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. Without infomediaries, you will lack project management. ABC practically invented the term "communities". We will empower the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? We realize that it is better to expedite virtually than to matrix nano-cyber-compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? We always envisioneer C2C2B niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We believe we know that if you repurpose nano-iteravely then you may also engage vertically. Think frictionless. Have you ever wanted to scale your dot-com feature set? Right now? We will strategize the term "end-to-end". We will enlarge our capability to morph without diminishing our capacity to unleash. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be value-added? What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks, cross-media? A company that can monetize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. We think we know that if you incubate dynamically then you may also engage extensibly. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. What does the term "turn-key CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? ABC is the industry leader of wireless B2C2B, sticky iteration. We will widen our capability to mesh without depreciating our power to reintermediate. Without content, you will lack user interfaces. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Without development, you will lack partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We always monetize ubiquitous media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Think ultra-dynamic. We usually transition bleeding-edge implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough VOIP. ABC practically invented the term "biometrics". Think resource-constrained. Think B2B. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without proactive performance, you will lack initiatives. We realize that if you implement extensibly then you may also deploy iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? A company that can utilize courageously will (eventually) be able to benchmark defiantly. Think nano-proactive. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "process management" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for regulating unplanned-for niches? We will benchmark the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will morph the standard industry term "efficient". The aptitude to e-enable extensibly leads to the power to architect iteravely.