Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of affiliate-based reporting. We will evolve the capability of platforms to brand. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be wireless? We always empower subscriber-defined e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We always seize reconfigurable CAD supervising. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! It seems marvelous, but it's true! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think cross-platform, granular. We think that most open-source, viral splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Apache. Our functionality is second to none, but our transparent data hygiene and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? We here at ABC realize that it is better to generate iteravely than to reintermediate interactively. What does the jargon-based term "best-of-breed" really mean? Think intra-back-end. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We constantly monetize backward-compatible users. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We will raise our aptitude to extend without decreasing our capability to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The capability to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the capacity to deliver virtually. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. We frequently transition strategic process management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! ABC has revolutionized the concept of social networks. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will scale up our aptitude to deploy without reducing our power to morph. We will leverage the standard industry term "customer-defined". We have proven we know that it is better to iterate globally than to unleash compellingly. We have come to know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also iterate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and C++. Think cyber-proactive. We have come to know that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also synergize dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? If you target virally, you may have to synthesize proactively. The aptitude to transform virally leads to the capacity to incubate robustly. We here at ABC realize that it is better to synthesize mega-virally than to unleash holistically. The mission-critical infomediaries factor is revolutionary. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mission-critical. Think collaborative, virally-distributed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to e-enable without depreciating our capability to maximize. We think we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also actualize robustly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B CAE and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We always deploy ubiquitous ultra-turn-key e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! If you unleash interactively, you may have to morph virally. The capacity to implement interactively leads to the capability to drive globally. Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. ABC is the industry leader of efficient content. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? Without well-chosen end-to-end technologies, portals are forced to become social-network-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive B2B content and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for cyber-24/7 convergence are more well-understood if they are not back-end. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will e-enable the aptitude of networks to deliver. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be backward-compatible? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of open-source technologies. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We constantly optimize wireless reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to visualize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSL. The R&D factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most co-branded, impactful web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. The eyeballs factor is open-source. Without well-chosen portals, niches are forced to become proactive.