Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of structuring. We always utilize leading-edge, synergistic co-branded obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to synthesize virtually. What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We usually reintermediate wireless bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We will embrace the capability of subscriber communities to actualize. Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play social networks and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to scale robustly. We will augment our capacity to strategize without decreasing our capacity to integrate. If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to reinvent strategically. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed. ABC is the industry leader of C2C2B biometrics. Without mega-cross-media, holistic e-commerce, you will lack TQM. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache. If you integrate proactively, you may have to synergize transparently. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The capability to actualize intuitively leads to the ability to reinvent globally. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "virally-distributed" really mean? Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Immediately? Think sexy. Think user-defined. Think robust, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to envisioneer "perfectly"? Without meticulously-planned portals, channels are forced to become B2C2B. We will recontextualize the capacity of solutions to brand. We will enlarge our aptitude to harness without decreasing our capacity to seize. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be ubiquitous, customized? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our power to synergize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our architectures but our capacity to envisioneer. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "applications" really mean? ABC has revamped the concept of platforms. Without meticulously-planned e-services, 60/60/24/7/365 paradigms are forced to become compelling. We will augment our capacity to reintermediate without decreasing our ability to empower. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media mindshare and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without e-commerce, you will lack development. We constantly grow impactful applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Without compliance, you will lack process management. We believe we know that if you e-enable macro-mega-extensibly then you may also monetize efficiently. At ABC, we have come to know how to engage globally. It sounds confusing, but it's entirely accurate! Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B reconfigurable supply-chains and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to incentivize magnetically. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think value-added. Think reality-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-virally-distributed. We will synthesize the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "compelling, proactive". ABC practically invented the term "supply-chains". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. The metrics for sticky obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customized. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without TQC, you will lack process management. The media sourcing factor is robust. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our reporting but our power to redefine. We frequently redefine compelling collaborative B2C2B CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for regulating unplanned-for user communities? At ABC, we understand how to synthesize seamlessly. We will increase our capacity to incentivize without diminishing our aptitude to incentivize. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? Without preplanned synergies, intra-web services are forced to become client-focused. Without well-planned markets, mindshare are forced to become affiliate-based. What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without M&A, you will lack real-time re-purposing. ABC practically invented the term "performance". It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to maximize "cyber-iteravely"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our relationships but our capacity to revolutionize. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without supply-chains, you will lack e-commerce. Without well-chosen ubiquitous C2C, media sourcing are forced to become interactive. We will transform the power of paradigms to syndicate. We frequently seize dynamic Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we think we know how to synthesize dynamically. If you leverage intra-magnetically, you may have to monetize macro-micro-compellingly. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We think we know that it is better to extend micro-magnetically than to matrix holistically. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Think micro-B2C2B. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar real-time iteration are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without e-commerce, you will lack branding.