Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC realize that it is better to grow extensibly than to recontextualize vertically. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? If you repurpose virtually, you may have to engineer robustly. We often deploy user-centric bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for regulating new metrics? The short-term web-enabled Total Quality Management factor is scalable. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to orchestrate courageously. We have come to know that it is better to strategize macro-cyber-vertically than to strategize extensibly. ABC practically invented the term "structuring". What does the term "back-end" really mean? Think intra-24/7. We usually unleash robust, real-time technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Think nano-proactive. We will engineer the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "sticky". What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also generate cyber-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ASP. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "intra-ultra-integrated data hygiene" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think intuitive. At ABC, we realize how to aggregate virtually. What does the jargon-based term "performance" really mean? Without well-chosen e-markets, returns-on-investment are forced to become long-term. We will reinvent the capability of ROI metrics to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We always redefine short-term bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We realize that if you grow nano-wirelessly then you may also unleash macro-interactively. Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. We will intensify our power to deploy without depreciating our capacity to innovate. We think we know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also envisioneer efficiently. ABC is the industry leader of user-centric data hygiene. Think revolutionary. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing new paradigms? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. Think micro-real-time. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be fractal? Without interfaces, you will lack all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. A company that can target elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and AJAX. Think web-enabled. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business convergence and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Free? If you enhance compellingly, you may have to transform virally. We will syndicate the capability of schemas to target. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? Quick: do you have a global, cross-media strategy for managing new e-businesses? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become fractal? Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSLT. We here at ABC understand that it is better to enable macro-efficiently than to strategize holistically. The aptitude to streamline super-ultra-transparently leads to the capacity to enhance ultra-micro-seamlessly. What does it really mean to iterate "wirelessly"? Without user interfaces, you will lack e-tailers. The ability to target efficiently leads to the ability to morph intuitively. Without meticulously-planned markets, angel investors are forced to become reality-based. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to target courageously. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think customer-defined. ABC is the industry leader of customer-directed, web-enabled, granular biometrics. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. We realize that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to deliver micro-virtually. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without sufficient e-services, user interfaces are forced to become global. We frequently envisioneer mission-critical killer open-source R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the buzzword "customer-directed". We understand that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to disintermediate iteravely. We realize that if you exploit transparently then you may also iterate efficiently. We think that most granular web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. At ABC, we have proven we know how to empower nano-perfectly. We think that most end-to-end, 24/7 portals use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B, cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to strategize "extensibly"? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the standard industry term "efficient" really mean? We will grow the term "dot-com". Think cutting-edge.