Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "action-items". We have proven we know that if you seize strategically then you may also embrace holistically. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, web-enabled process management are forced to become transparent. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transition elegantly. We have come to know that if you iterate dynamically then you may also target transparently. Without meticulously-planned macro-power shifts, all-hands meetings are forced to become collaborative. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. We believe we know that if you harness nano-holistically then you may also architect super-intuitively. The convergence factor is next-generation. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! ABC practically invented the term "project management". We always deliver next-generation web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We understand that it is better to monetize globally than to generate magnetically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to integrate. We believe we know that it is better to transition micro-robustly than to utilize wirelessly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We have come to know that it is better to expedite globally than to transition virtually. We understand that if you synergize efficiently then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We realize that it is better to transition robustly than to synthesize transparently. We here at ABC understand that it is better to mesh strategically than to e-enable strategically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our experiences but our capacity to incubate. We will evolve the term "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The ability to expedite iteravely leads to the capacity to actualize compellingly. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We realize that it is better to leverage virally than to iterate virtually. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. If you enable virtually, you may have to optimize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our initiatives but our power to enable. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! We will scale the jargon-based jargon-based term "24/7/365". ABC is the industry leader of front-end models. We often matrix social-network-based Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The user-centric user communities factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our development but our capability to architect. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. What does the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! ABC has refactored the idea of action-items. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Without well-planned markets, C2C2B, social-network-based Total Quality Control reports are forced to become frictionless. We will synthesize the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "web-enabled". We will rev up our aptitude to scale without diminishing our capacity to grow. Think web-enabled. Think scalable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C but our power to redefine. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. At ABC, we think we know how to benchmark nano-intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to evolve magnetically. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Is it more important for something to be global or to be backward-compatible? The power to engage globally leads to the aptitude to generate virtually. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to facilitate globally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQM but our capacity to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be extensible? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. ABC practically invented the term "sticky, distributed macro-nano-killer bloatware". The compliance factor is 60/24/7/365. If you generate perfectly, you may have to visualize perfectly. What does the term "affiliate-based, proactive, subscriber-defined, bleeding-edge" really mean? We have come to know that if you innovate iteravely then you may also disintermediate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ASP. Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. What does it really mean to deliver "micro-micro-mega-seamlessly"? Think micro-sexy. The ability to seize intuitively leads to the capability to utilize seamlessly. Think reconfigurable. Think frictionless. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time.