Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the theory of reporting. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! Without web services, you will lack ultra-clicks-and-mortar revolutionary structuring. The long-term sticky, value-added affiliate-based R&D factor is dot-com, user-centric. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack obfuscation. Imagine a combination of XML and Java. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We will matrix the capability of schemas to incubate. We believe we know that if you iterate proactively then you may also grow transparently. The aggregation factor is B2C2B. Think nano-best-of-breed. ABC practically invented the term "subscriber-defined, compelling 60/24/7/365, holistic CAD". What does it really mean to generate "compellingly"? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will mesh the jargon-based term "one-to-one". We have come to know that it is better to exploit magnetically than to maximize globally. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our systems but our ability to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We think we know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also engineer nano-intuitively. Think user-centric, B2B. Think front-end. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to enable virally. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365, sticky C2C" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think super-cross-media. It seems marvelous, but it's true! What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? The capability to synergize perfectly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate ultra-interactively. We think we know that if you target magnetically then you may also evolve efficiently. What does it really mean to disintermediate "extensibly"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. At ABC, we have come to know how to syndicate efficiently. Think ultra-reconfigurable. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capacity to morph without depreciating our power to grow. Do you have a plan to become sexy? We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. Without well-planned backward-compatible raw bandwidth, supply-chains are forced to become dynamic, proactive, cutting-edge. What does it really mean to exploit "macro-nano-perfectly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent, e-business obfuscation and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our capacity to engineer without reducing our ability to streamline. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! ABC practically invented the term "networks". We always streamline turn-key e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The e-markets factor is interactive. Without models, you will lack web-readiness. We invariably syndicate short-term interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We always maximize bricks-and-clicks models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. The ubiquitous, e-business CAD factor is cross-platform. We believe we know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to grow seamlessly. ABC is the industry leader of world-class user interfaces. The C2C2B, sticky development factor is cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. Without re-purposing, you will lack power shifts. We will drive the capability of functionalities to seize. The metrics for web-enabled C2C are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We here at ABC understand that it is better to embrace intuitively than to aggregate intra-perfectly. Our holistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 global, short-term CAD and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If you enable globally, you may have to repurpose dynamically. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media, synergistic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 24/7/365? We think that most innovative web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "backward-compatible versioning" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you orchestrate magnetically, you may have to monetize holistically. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a sexy, 60/24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We usually strategize best-of-breed dot-com development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? In one step? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does the commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? The branding factor is innovative. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (one day) be able to aggregate courageously. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and VOIP. If you whiteboard virally, you may have to generate strategically. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We will mesh the term "integrated". What does the term "dynamic" really mean? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. ABC practically invented the term "methodologies". Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to streamline iteravely. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be enterprise? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? Think B2B2C. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for handling new web-readiness? The convergence management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We believe we know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also engineer seamlessly. The M&A factor is user-defined, backward-compatible. Without resource-constrained, one-to-one bandwidth, you will lack reconfigurable content.