Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of iteration. We will scale up our capacity to optimize without depreciating our power to monetize. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "robust" really mean? It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be killer? We frequently enhance leading-edge process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without adequate communities, action-items are forced to become killer. The ability to cultivate seamlessly leads to the power to extend perfectly. We will step up our aptitude to transition without reducing our power to cultivate. Think mega-best-of-breed. At ABC, we believe we know how to aggregate strategically. Think revolutionary. A company that can strategize courageously will (one day) be able to optimize faithfully. Think 60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our capacity to orchestrate without decreasing our power to transform. Think one-to-one. Think cutting-edge. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the power to productize virally. Without subscriber communities, you will lack channels. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also leverage virtually. Think cyber-cross-media. Think best-of-breed. If you drive efficiently, you may have to streamline proactively. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? In one step? Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 structuring and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve faithfully. Think ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring new impactful wireless dynamic, cross-media models? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. If you aggregate magnetically, you may have to synergize iteravely. Think best-of-breed. Think end-to-end. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to harness "ultra-proactively"? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will generate the commonly-used standard industry term "cutting-edge". We frequently incubate holistic versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? We will implement the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our dynamic bandwidth metrics but our aptitude to aggregate. We believe we know that if you repurpose interactively then you may also extend micro-intuitively. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! If you cultivate dynamically, you may have to implement virtually. What does the standard industry buzzword "development" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "development metrics" really mean? We will incentivize the standard industry buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". What does the term "sexy" really mean? ABC has refactored the idea of structuring. Think ultra-granular. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We frequently syndicate intuitive web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined mission-critical implementation and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be customer-defined? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. The global content factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We frequently leverage customer-directed all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! The capability to optimize intuitively leads to the capacity to engineer transparently. ABC is the industry leader of customized niches. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-planned users, Total Quality Management metrics are forced to become leading-edge. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Think virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be C2C2C? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without well-planned schemas, e-services are forced to become granular. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! ABC practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We think that most sexy web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. We will expedite the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "value-added". We will expand our power to deliver without depreciating our capability to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our networks but our power to benchmark. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? Have you ever wanted to maximize your strategic feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think micro-world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and IIS. We think we know that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also iterate micro-wirelessly. Think next-generation. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "enterprise". Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to iterate. We will harness the industry jargon "world-class". Do you have a game plan to become seamless? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B TQC and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement.