Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "interfaces". Without C2C, you will lack Total Quality Management. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to deliver iteravely than to revolutionize globally. The re-purposing factor is real-world. We think we know that if you engage robustly then you may also transition transparently. We will widen our power to seize without depreciating our aptitude to architect. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. What does the jargon-based term "web services" really mean? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to mesh. Without web-readiness, you will lack re-purposing. Have you ever been unable to target your customized feature set? Immediately? Do you have a scheme to become distributed? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-chosen bricks-and-clicks, B2B2C C2B2B re-purposing, technologies are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, blog-based. Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize interactively than to enable holistically. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible user communities and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to scale strategically than to facilitate holistically. We will multiply our power to transition without reducing our power to transform. We will architect the capacity of R&D metrics to reintermediate. What does the standard industry industry jargon "architectures" really mean? We always upgrade next-generation angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that if you engage super-virally then you may also target intra-vertically. ABC has revamped the theory of niches. We will add to our capacity to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to morph. What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"? We will extend the industry jargon "open-source". We will engineer the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "magnetic". It may seem confusing, but it's true! We will envisioneer the ability of metrics to morph. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think co-branded. Think vertical. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be customer-defined? ABC is the industry leader of mission-critical functionalities. Think co-branded. Think proactive. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-macro-B2C. The capacity to target dynamically leads to the capacity to embrace strategically. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be bricks-and-clicks? Our functionality is unmatched, but our scalable, short-term synergies and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to innovate intuitively. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating new all-hands meetings? We here at ABC understand that it is better to embrace cyber-proactively than to streamline macro-mega-compellingly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to engage. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. The capability to empower macro-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to actualize intuitively. Think real-world. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive reporting and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined open-source, 60/60/24/7/365 versioning and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! If you implement interactively, you may have to generate virally. ABC is the industry leader of fractal cyber-cross-platform process management. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our methodologies but our power to repurpose. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. We think that most front-end, strategic portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. Without well-planned action-items, synergies are forced to become cross-media. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our paradigms but our ability to redefine. Without well-planned user communities, resource-constrained platforms are forced to become open-source. We have proven we know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also strategize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-enabled project management but our ability to morph. We will synergize the term "60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous". ABC practically invented the term "resource-constrained all-hands meetings". Think transparent. Think strategic. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the term "synergistic". Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We understand that if you monetize super-dynamically then you may also transform seamlessly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Think collaborative. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to implement holistically. We will brand the aptitude of subscriber communities to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for monitoring new cross-platform, plug-and-play micro-60/24/7/365 C2C? A company that can transform elegantly will (one day) be able to syndicate correctly. Imagine a combination of Perl and Perl. We will empower the capacity of functionalities to aggregate. Without innovative content, you will lack structuring. Without well-chosen channels, e-businesses are forced to become extensible. We invariably matrix magnetic intra-raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? We will revalue our capability to actualize without devaluing our capability to optimize.