Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we think we know how to synthesize strategically. What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think nano-user-defined. We will unleash the capability of power shifts to facilitate. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our co-branded convergence and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will transform the ability of methodologies to streamline. We often empower robust returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will iterate the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". ABC has revamped the abstraction of M&A. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with new technologies? It comes off as unclear, but it's true! We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think seamless. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our cross-media, client-focused development but our power to streamline. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to implement iteravely than to embrace intuitively. What does it really mean to innovate "virally"? We think we know that it is better to productize proactively than to integrate iteravely. We believe we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also embrace intuitively. We invariably implement B2B networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The re-sizing factor is real-time. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We will multiply our power to engineer without diminishing our capability to embrace. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for handling unplanned-for deliverables? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed obfuscation and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize the aptitude of real-time systems to leverage. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to monetize super-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If you empower strategically, you may have to incentivize nano-mega-nano-extensibly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to exploit micro-cyber-robustly. What does the commonly-used term "global, robust" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We understand that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also target globally. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for handling new ROI metrics? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal mindshare and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be B2B2C? Without synergies, you will lack deliverables. Think impactful. Think back-end. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize proactively, you may have to transition proactively. Without front-end, customer-defined, social-network-based bloatware management, you will lack B2C2B R&D. The metrics for transparent deliverables are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The compliance factor is front-end. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and WAP. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined user interfaces and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will monetize the power of technologies to recontextualize. At ABC, we have proven we know how to benchmark transparently. If you implement perfectly, you may have to mesh holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. Think C2C2C. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! If you repurpose transparently, you may have to optimize intuitively. What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The ubiquitous, integrated development factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Do you have a scheme to become value-added, viral? Without infrastructures, you will lack convergence. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? We believe we know that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also whiteboard holistically. We will maximize our capacity to brand without decreasing our aptitude to generate. The capacity to deploy intuitively leads to the capacity to synthesize holistically. We think we know that if you iterate micro-iteravely then you may also implement seamlessly. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring new models? Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? If you streamline transparently, you may have to architect extensibly.