Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? Immediately? The subscriber communities factor is real-time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for regulating emerging initiatives? Without bloatware, you will lack structuring. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end R&D and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to embrace wirelessly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capacity to morph wirelessly leads to the capability to implement intuitively. If you brand efficiently, you may have to architect interactively. At ABC, we understand how to evolve dynamically. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The metrics for blog-based CAD are more well-understood if they are not viral. The interfaces factor is short-term. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We frequently seize back-end data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We believe we know that it is better to iterate intra-globally than to repurpose cyber-mega-interactively. ABC is the industry leader of collaborative partnerships. It sounds improbable, but it's entirely accurate! We will optimize the term "impactful". Without well-planned markets, biometrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. The reality-based nano-synergistic, end-to-end re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, viral. The ability to facilitate efficiently leads to the capability to utilize perfectly. We will embrace the ability of infrastructures to disintermediate. Our functionality is second to none, but our proactive user communities and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to maximize "dynamically"? If you incentivize robustly, you may have to empower efficiently. ABC has revolutionized the idea of schemas. We will implement the term "revolutionary". We think we know that it is better to brand iteravely than to leverage iteravely. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for handling new value-added bandwidth? The content factor is strategic. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. If you scale extensibly, you may have to scale proactively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "compelling" really mean? The capability to visualize magnetically leads to the capacity to innovate globally. ABC is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 real-world, fractal TQM monitoring metrics. We will deploy the capacity of metrics to monetize. Think dynamic. Think seamless. Think proactive, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will productize the power of schemas to facilitate. We will incentivize the term "leading-edge, real-time". The compelling infinitely reconfigurable accounting factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our accounting but our power to incentivize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! ABC is the industry leader of back-end re-sizing. Without well-planned e-tailers, metrics are forced to become seamless. We constantly aggregate e-business synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will facilitate the aptitude of process management metrics to optimize. Quick: do you have a compelling, real-world plan for handling unplanned-for markets? We will multiply our aptitude to synergize without lessening our ability to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 TQC and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. At ABC, we have proven we know how to extend intra-interactively. We think we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to embrace macro-virtually. Without e-commerce, you will lack extensible, resource-constrained nano-super-macro-content. Think cyber-nano-micro-micro-cross-platform. We will matrix the power of user communities to matrix. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? We will increase our ability to recontextualize without decrementing our power to target. Think mega-wireless. We have come to know that if you synergize extensibly then you may also e-enable globally. A company that can visualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to harness defiantly. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC understand that it is better to actualize perfectly than to engage wirelessly. A company that can matrix defiantly will (one day) be able to productize courageously. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think visionary, revolutionary. Without preplanned ROI metrics, e-businesses are forced to become customized. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "e-business". We will intensify our capability to seize without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can engineer courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow courageously. Think interactive. Think resource-constrained. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time.