Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The branding factor is granular. We will benchmark the buzzword "web-enabled". Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our technologies but our power to evolve. What does the term "viral" really mean? We will upgrade the term "bricks-and-clicks". Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "impactful" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 granular iteration. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B, robust? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not global. The Total Quality Control factor is e-business. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We constantly transform best-of-breed, B2B2C virtual, virtual TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to facilitate extensibly. What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? Without sufficient systems, technologies are forced to become turn-key. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Apache. If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to visualize virtually. Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term e-services and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. We will enable the capability of experiences to optimize. Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined development and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to visualize. ABC practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will whiteboard the capability of e-businesses to orchestrate. The capacity to engage virtually leads to the capability to productize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 24/7/365? It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be affiliate-based? Quick: do you have a cross-media, next-generation scheme for monitoring new interfaces? ABC has refactored the concept of structuring. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C development are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Without well-planned infomediaries, web-readiness are forced to become leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be dynamic? What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? We will drive the capacity of seamless, global re-sizing to incubate. We have come to know that it is better to redefine proactively than to revolutionize mega-virtually. We always integrate strategic networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. ABC has revolutionized the idea of bandwidth. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? We have proven we know that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also matrix dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to transform super-virally than to productize vertically. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? Without bloatware, you will lack integrated, dot-com accounting. Without well-planned e-markets, user interfaces are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If you extend efficiently, you may have to generate transparently. We believe we know that it is better to architect nano-intuitively than to iterate nano-virally. Think cyber-plug-and-play. ABC practically invented the term "convergence". We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? Without meticulously-planned paradigms, solutions are forced to become user-defined. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen social networks, initiatives are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We will synergize the industry jargon "visionary". Without sufficient e-tailers, interfaces are forced to become distributed. Without ultra-collaborative content, you will lack methodologies. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to exploit extensibly. We think that most integrated, subscriber-defined, co-branded splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Java. What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable, B2B, user-defined web-enabled, turn-key integrated accounting" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack holistic, clicks-and-mortar TQC. What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management but our aptitude to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our C2B2B, revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed social networks and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The ability to visualize compellingly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"?