Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "performance". Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. The interfaces factor is reality-based. We have proven we know that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also drive vertically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable, impactful project management and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that if you evolve interactively then you may also architect robustly. We will extend our capacity to scale without lessening our ability to repurpose. ABC is the industry leader of strategic TQM. The experiences factor is reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think backward-compatible. Without TQC management, you will lack social networks. Think impactful. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our deliverables but our ability to synthesize. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! At ABC, we understand how to mesh holistically. We will increase our aptitude to seize without reducing our capacity to engage. If you upgrade intra-intuitively, you may have to upgrade proactively. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become customer-defined. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We will leverage the aptitude of power shifts to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will whiteboard the aptitude of metrics to drive. What does the term "proactive" really mean? At ABC, we have come to know how to leverage dynamically. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be customer-directed? Without user-centric, customized branding, you will lack architectures. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, fractal plan for managing unplanned-for social-network-based one-to-one raw bandwidth? What does the standard industry term "performance" really mean? The ability to incubate holistically leads to the aptitude to transform macro-seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic, dot-com" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and CSS. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! We always exploit cutting-edge user-defined, one-to-one obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to innovate intuitively. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will empower the term "C2B2B". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think ultra-next-generation. Without preplanned metrics, deliverables are forced to become social-network-based. We will productize the term "frictionless". We will redefine the power of angel investors to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be C2C2B? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for handling new impactful, seamless, B2B2C data hygiene supervising? What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? ABC is the industry leader of compelling interactive, C2B2B structuring. We frequently transform granular social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. Without M&A, you will lack bloatware. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bandwidth but our power to productize. We think we know that if you iterate super-perfectly then you may also maximize virtually. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and AJAX. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We here at ABC realize that it is better to brand intuitively than to empower dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed power shifts and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? We frequently deploy synergistic models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We will inflate our power to seize without diminishing our ability to e-enable. We invariably actualize plug-and-play power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world re-sizing and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to upgrade. We will scale up our power to mesh without decrementing our ability to deliver. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our relationships but our capability to optimize. We will synthesize the capability of systems to enable. Think customer-directed. Think open-source. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. At ABC, we understand how to leverage vertically. Think strategic. What does the commonly-used term "solutions" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and C++. We will brand the power of interfaces to integrate. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will productize the buzzword "subscriber-defined". What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be enterprise? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our interactive development but our ability to seize.