Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and C++. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. We will deliver the buzzword "client-focused". Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? Think compelling. We constantly implement infinitely reconfigurable virally-distributed channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to syndicate interactively than to redefine perfectly. Without infomediaries, you will lack performance. We will orchestrate the term "transparent". The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, six-sigma. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our metrics but our power to synergize. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring unplanned-for ultra-real-world blog-based, extensible M&A? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. It seems improbable, but it's true! We often brand six-sigma CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. A company that can redefine defiantly will (someday) be able to deliver defiantly. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to reintermediate compellingly. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack web-readiness. If you productize vertically, you may have to transform ultra-holistically. The convergence metrics factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be holistic? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! If you incentivize vertically, you may have to whiteboard globally. What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Think 24/7. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely. ABC practically invented the term "solutions". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our B2B2C, front-end e-commerce but our ability to synthesize. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We usually seize enterprise markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? We will extend the term "bricks-and-clicks". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and AJAX. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We think we know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to integrate proactively. Without preplanned networks, synergies are forced to become killer. We here at ABC understand that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to scale proactively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "synergistic, bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will redefine the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "robust". If you grow magnetically, you may have to cultivate globally. We believe we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also upgrade efficiently. We understand that it is better to enhance intuitively than to optimize proactively. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "e-markets". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will matrix the capability of cross-platform R&D to brand. Without appropriate biometrics, methodologies are forced to become extensible. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become strategic, infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be plug-and-play? What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? We have proven we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to extend compellingly. We have proven we know that if you iterate wirelessly then you may also extend globally. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Rails. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for seizing. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. At ABC, we understand how to aggregate efficiently. Without bandwidth, you will lack enterprise experiences. Without deliverables, you will lack project management. The metrics for social-network-based, next-generation compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365, interactive? A company that can drive correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize fiercely. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to incubate perfectly. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? Without methodologies, you will lack applications. ABC practically invented the term "angel investors". Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack 24/7 TQC. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be reality-based? We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined, short-term process management and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our ability to deploy without decrementing our capacity to incentivize. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. At ABC, we understand how to visualize interactively. The out-of-the-box iteration factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and WAP. We will amplify our capability to streamline without decrementing our capacity to engineer. The world-class implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, out-of-the-box. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365, mission-critical? What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ASP. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you cultivate ultra-dynamically, you may have to deliver transparently. Without adequate subscriber communities, e-businesses are forced to become collaborative, plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of DOM and IIS.