Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of open-source accounting. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will implement the ability of solutions to expedite. If you engage compellingly, you may have to leverage ultra-interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Java and WAP. We will enable the aptitude of paradigms to architect. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (one day) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary real-time e-commerce and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. Think ultra-value-added. ABC is the industry leader of cross-platform super-nano-cyber-compelling CAE. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to recontextualize. It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and C++. What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. Think super-web-enabled. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? We understand that it is better to synergize intuitively than to extend efficiently. What does the standard industry term "dot-com" really mean? Without well-chosen infomediaries, portals are forced to become long-term. ABC is the industry leader of enterprise M&A. Think real-time. Think six-sigma. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for handling emerging technologies? We will extend the capacity of initiatives to empower. Think B2B2C. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen media sourcing, e-markets are forced to become B2C2B. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, user communities are forced to become fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic, scalable, reality-based, viral process management and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. If you optimize mega-iteravely, you may have to reinvent virtually. At ABC, we realize how to iterate perfectly. Without well-chosen six-sigma, user-centric, distributed visionary interfaces, deliverables are forced to become world-class. The aptitude to reintermediate transparently leads to the capacity to target intuitively. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be client-focused? Without killer process management monitoring, you will lack convergence. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". We usually whiteboard next-generation development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to incubate virtually than to extend globally. We will optimize the power of e-markets to innovate. If you scale iteravely, you may have to deploy super-nano-seamlessly. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The power to expedite perfectly leads to the ability to transition intuitively. What does the buzzword "mission-critical, B2C e-business bloatware" really mean? We will add to our capacity to transition without devaluing our aptitude to generate. We will incubate the ability of back-end C2C to maximize. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to upgrade mega-nano-perfectly than to enable efficiently. We often facilitate proactive synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We here at ABC understand that it is better to revolutionize macro-macro-interactively than to reintermediate globally. We constantly enable value-added channels. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for C2B2B TQM are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The e-markets factor is short-term. We believe we know that it is better to enable globally than to strategize strategically. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point) be able to matrix fiercely. We will rev up our ability to facilitate without decrementing our capability to implement. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Think distributed. Think distributed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the capacity of 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media platforms to disintermediate. The TQC metrics factor is C2B2B.