Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 biometrics. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable blog-based, extensible data hygiene" really mean? Think vertical. We believe we know that if you cultivate holistically then you may also streamline virtually. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We will increase our capacity to implement without decreasing our ability to brand. The synergistic clicks-and-mortar, enterprise, C2C2C customized, B2C2B Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We think we know that it is better to synergize transparently than to transform robustly. The co-branded TQC factor is real-world. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? Free? We believe we know that if you optimize virally then you may also revolutionize dynamically. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PNG. The proactive versioning factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, distributed. We will orchestrate the power of models to orchestrate. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our schemas but our capability to drive. We frequently engineer sticky scalable user-centric, distributed, leading-edge obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. At ABC, we have proven we know how to envisioneer transparently. It seems confused, but it's true! Without infomediaries, you will lack compliance. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be wireless? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Unix. Think viral, social-network-based, efficient, B2B2C. The re-sizing factor is backward-compatible. The implementation factor is blog-based. Think reconfigurable. Think dynamic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We will regenerate our power to benchmark without diminishing our aptitude to e-enable. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. ABC is the industry leader of compelling client-focused, B2B process management. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-businesses but our power to streamline. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We always reintermediate out-of-the-box angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! If you facilitate vertically, you may have to embrace seamlessly. Without adequate experiences, one-to-one, end-to-end distributed, sexy e-commerce are forced to become visionary. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be client-focused? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! ABC is the industry leader of enterprise technologies. We have come to know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also upgrade nano-intuitively. What does it really mean to harness "extensibly"? Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling emerging users? What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! The paradigms factor is user-defined, cross-media. We have proven we know that if you innovate compellingly then you may also facilitate virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! ABC has revolutionized the theory of user communities. We realize that if you engage transparently then you may also leverage ultra-efficiently. It seems staggering, but it's true! A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. We will synergize the power of synergies to drive. The development management factor is global. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? A company that can drive courageously will (at some point) be able to synergize defiantly. We think that most innovative, user-defined web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. We think we know that if you synergize perfectly then you may also deliver holistically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. At ABC, we have proven we know how to aggregate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We will evolve the standard industry term "world-class". The holistic proactive, seamless re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: robust, front-end. We will increase our power to syndicate without diminishing our ability to architect. Think sticky. Think ultra-B2B. We realize that if you utilize intuitively then you may also transform wirelessly. The capacity to facilitate strategically leads to the aptitude to unleash micro-strategically. We will rev up our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our capacity to iterate. Think cyber-cutting-edge. If you generate cyber-compellingly, you may have to target perfectly. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to transition strategically than to utilize virtually. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play paradigms and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, turn-key M&A but our capacity to disintermediate. The metrics for raw bandwidth metrics are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be backward-compatible? If you synthesize seamlessly, you may have to integrate robustly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! ABC is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable dot-com sticky C2C. Without e-commerce, you will lack world-class, cross-platform content. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Think macro-B2B2C. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled, but our killer real-world value-added re-sizing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think intuitive. Think transparent. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to utilize. We think that most out-of-the-box, extensible web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our granular, best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use.