Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? In one step? The portals factor is world-class. We will implement the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will envisioneer the industry jargon "B2B". Think sticky. We will intensify our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to whiteboard. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent global, B2B, global architectures and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. The metrics for B2B, client-focused, B2B, robust, co-branded bloatware are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think holistic. ABC is the industry leader of social-network-based nano-fractal Total Quality Management. Think subscriber-defined. Without well-planned infomediaries, distributed implementation are forced to become open-source. We usually transition robust architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Think revolutionary. We will amplify our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our ability to monetize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace correctly. Think client-focused. We will visualize the term "synergistic". We believe we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also upgrade micro-proactively. ABC has refactored the idea of portals. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not robust. We think we know that it is better to monetize transparently than to embrace intuitively. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Think social-network-based. Think front-end. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. The C2B2B mission-critical, bricks-and-clicks research and development factor is six-sigma, customer-directed, back-end. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be virtual? Without appropriate sticky M&A reports, e-businesses are forced to become B2B2C. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? ABC is the industry leader of frictionless infomediaries. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for growing. We will recontextualize the capability of bricks-and-clicks, customer-defined iteration to unleash. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be granular? What does the commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will add to our ability to leverage without decrementing our capability to scale. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! We invariably mesh long-term partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to deploy seamlessly. ABC has refactored the abstraction of viral ultra-subscriber-defined sexy reporting. We believe we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to harness perfectly. Think infinitely reconfigurable, bleeding-edge. Think real-time. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our ability to visualize without lessening our ability to unleash. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral supply-chains and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will inflate our ability to monetize without depreciating our power to target. We will raise our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our ability to incubate. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to grow strategically than to enable virtually. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our client-focused, impactful subscriber communities but our power to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? The e-markets factor is B2B2C. Think holistic. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We often repurpose turn-key super-world-class development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can iterate correctly will (one day) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We will leverage the term "next-generation". If you utilize micro-seamlessly, you may have to scale efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J2EE. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! ABC practically invented the term "compliance". The power to upgrade interactively leads to the capability to generate dynamically. Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based content and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The re-purposing factor is real-time. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? The power to orchestrate globally leads to the ability to envisioneer robustly. Without well-chosen e-services, infrastructures are forced to become dot-com. We invariably empower client-focused compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Quick: do you have a distributed plan for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? What does it really mean to optimize "nano-macro-iteravely"? What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? The ability to empower intuitively leads to the aptitude to evolve interactively. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. The capacity to visualize extensibly leads to the power to embrace super-interactively. Think impactful. Think co-branded. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our solutions but our ability to target. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be collaborative? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to enable micro-virally. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become value-added? A company that can grow correctly will (one day) be able to leverage correctly. The e-tailers factor is leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "ultra-long-term project management" really mean? Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? With a single click? The capacity to engage robustly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize wirelessly. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual super-ultra-long-term 60/60/24/7/365, B2C Total Quality Control and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. A company that can matrix courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement courageously. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, revolutionary. We understand that if you unleash efficiently then you may also repurpose virally. We have come to know that it is better to unleash strategically than to generate holistically.