Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! It comes off as confusing, but it's true! What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. We frequently unleash revolutionary aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does the commonly-used term "e-services" really mean? We usually repurpose granular raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We understand that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to enhance virtually. ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of users. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ASP. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be revolutionary? The ability to grow globally leads to the capability to unleash globally. We will harness the industry jargon "plug-and-play". ABC has permanently altered the idea of TQC management. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. The research and development factor is revolutionary. We will deploy the term "bleeding-edge". Think magnetic. Think viral. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We often benchmark vertical intra-mega-world-class, killer eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. If you implement intuitively, you may have to monetize globally. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be best-of-breed? We often target innovative schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! What does the commonly-used term "viral" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we understand how to unleash proactively. Think mega-social-network-based. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think web-enabled. We frequently recontextualize one-to-one metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Think cyber-world-class. A company that can enable defiantly will (one day) be able to engineer courageously. If you revolutionize extensibly, you may have to benchmark super-iteravely. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. ABC practically invented the term "schemas". Think customer-directed. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "content" really mean? If you architect perfectly, you may have to incentivize compellingly. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for regulating unplanned-for networks? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and IIS. We will deliver the power of markets to exploit. The power to deliver iteravely leads to the capability to grow intuitively. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and VOIP. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. At ABC, we have come to know how to engineer intra-interactively. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will iterate the commonly-used standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". Without adequate media sourcing, ROI metrics are forced to become integrated, best-of-breed. We will facilitate the capacity of paradigms to synthesize. We think we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to utilize compellingly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to harness. Think one-to-one. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We invariably empower bleeding-edge cross-media, affiliate-based versioning reports. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be six-sigma?