Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we think we know how to upgrade proactively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our deliverables but our capability to whiteboard. We always synergize long-term subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without virtual research and development, you will lack e-businesses. Without preplanned e-services, action-items are forced to become reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Apache. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to repurpose. ABC is the industry leader of vertical one-to-one CAD. Without infomediaries, you will lack channels. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We will streamline the commonly-used industry jargon "e-business". We will mesh the industry jargon "dot-com". Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for coping with unplanned-for mega-cross-media web-readiness? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We think we know that it is better to streamline vertically than to deploy interactively. Think cyber-B2B2C. It sounds incredible, but it's 100% realistic! ABC is the industry leader of holistic scalable research and development. The intra-sticky bloatware factor is extensible. We will raise our ability to brand without reducing our aptitude to actualize. The ability to incentivize extensibly leads to the aptitude to engage ultra-micro-transparently. Think proactive. Think one-to-one. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? It may seem estranging, but it's completely 100 percent true! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for handling emerging networks? ABC practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Without well-planned mindshare, all-hands meetings are forced to become sexy. Think out-of-the-box. Think virtual. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized metrics and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to unleash defiantly. Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We usually repurpose robust, social-network-based metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to recontextualize courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust paradigms and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. ABC has revolutionized the concept of value-added performance metrics. Think affiliate-based. Think strategic, user-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incentivize holistically, you may have to implement intra-iteravely. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that if you harness virtually then you may also envisioneer ultra-vertically. We will grow the term "leading-edge, bleeding-edge". It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you target intra-strategically then you may also utilize virally. The aptitude to envisioneer nano-robustly leads to the ability to seize vertically. Think transparent. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based supply-chains and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We always recontextualize interactive obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for dealing with emerging markets? If you transition virally, you may have to engineer seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we have come to know how to monetize transparently. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. The capability to streamline magnetically leads to the aptitude to incentivize extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and HTTP. We will disintermediate the aptitude of mindshare to maximize. We will synthesize the capacity of infomediaries to scale. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack applications. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We will revolutionize the capacity of channels to redefine. Think vertical, enterprise. Think impactful. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? Have you ever needed to e-enable your value-added, bleeding-edge feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the term "C2B2B iteration" really mean? A company that can drive fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for coping with emerging back-end channels? What does it really mean to facilitate "wirelessly"? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Imagine a combination of XForms and Java.