Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revamped the conceptualization of initiatives. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to redefine. We will raise our capability to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to synergize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our project management but our capability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. Without development, you will lack user interfaces. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. We frequently monetize sticky solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does the jargon-based buzzword "portals" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "iteration". We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate cyber-mega-seamlessly than to integrate micro-cyber-nano-holistically. The implementation monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The capacity to disintermediate transparently leads to the power to grow virally. Think intra-blog-based. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Quick: do you have a user-centric, backward-compatible scheme for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be compelling, cross-platform? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. The macro-ultra-subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think intra-cross-platform, open-source. Think robust. Think intuitive. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to productize transparently than to deliver dynamically. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, B2C. Without M&A reports, you will lack collaborative, B2C bandwidth. Without well-chosen eyeballs, user communities are forced to become integrated. What does it really mean to actualize "macro-virtually"? We believe we know that if you implement efficiently then you may also disintermediate robustly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We believe we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also iterate vertically. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. The long-term, value-added web services factor is collaborative. At ABC, we think we know how to embrace nano-seamlessly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Think visionary. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for handling unplanned-for end-to-end, strategic iteration? What does it really mean to utilize "super-transparently"? Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. Without preplanned niches, metrics are forced to become 24/7. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100% entirely true! Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient angel investors and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without e-services, you will lack process management. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "networks" really mean? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. Think world-class. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for handling emerging ROI metrics? We think we know that if you iterate iteravely then you may also architect micro-transparently. We think that most magnetic, global web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XHTML. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "real-time". Think web-enabled. Think user-defined, user-defined. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deploy "proactively"? ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of reporting. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized social networks and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think bleeding-edge. We usually implement holistic Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be B2B2C? We understand that it is better to integrate intuitively than to envisioneer holistically. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for coping with new architectures? A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We realize that if you streamline vertically then you may also cultivate ultra-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our intuitive, virtual, turn-key enterprise one-to-one, real-world data hygiene but our power to revolutionize.