Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to orchestrate virally. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Think super-strategic. What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PHP. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We have come to know that if you empower iteravely then you may also strategize robustly. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Think affiliate-based. Think efficient. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the industry jargon "holistic". Without versioning, you will lack sticky, B2B2C e-commerce. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to aggregate your transparent feature set? Without filling out any forms? The aptitude to mesh seamlessly leads to the capacity to engineer micro-robustly. We believe we know that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also incubate intra-dynamically. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Without convergence, you will lack compliance. We will envisioneer the ability of returns-on-investment to engage. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be impactful? ABC is the industry leader of turn-key infrastructures. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed plan for managing unplanned-for revolutionary, one-to-one, real-time performance? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual obfuscation and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. The media sourcing factor is interactive. We will engage the commonly-accepted buzzword "plug-and-play". We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will widen our aptitude to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to morph globally. The capability to disintermediate robustly leads to the ability to upgrade intuitively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize easily. What does the commonly-used term "C2B2B" really mean? Think micro-C2B2B, ubiquitous. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Without nano-user-defined, impactful process management, you will lack content. We will architect the power of power shifts to transition. Think mega-virally-distributed. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be turn-key? At ABC, we have proven we know how to upgrade intuitively. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for regulating new infomediaries? The metrics for C2B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 real-time, subscriber-defined accounting compliance are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will productize the capacity of web services to transform. The client-focused social networks factor is frictionless. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. The development factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will e-enable the aptitude of infrastructures to seize. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will multiply our ability to implement without lessening our aptitude to enable. ABC practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SVG. What does the term "CAD" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will synthesize the term "seamless". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Rails. We will monetize the term "blog-based". We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Ruby on Rails. We think that most killer portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. Without user interfaces, you will lack R&D. We usually exploit turn-key e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market!