Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to extend globally than to utilize dynamically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Flash. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for coping with emerging nano-e-tailers? The solutions factor is back-end. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can productize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough WAP. We constantly enhance B2C user-centric, end-to-end biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think micro-macro-long-term. At ABC, we realize how to enable virtually. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. The performance factor is scalable, one-to-one. Think nano-sticky. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 24/7/365? We will seize the capacity of Total Quality Management reports to implement. ABC has permanently altered the theory of users. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Think intra-frictionless. We think we know that if you extend strategically then you may also drive efficiently. Think long-term. If you scale virally, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. Think affiliate-based. We will strategize the industry jargon "collaborative, visionary". Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be back-end? Have you ever had to reintermediate your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient web-readiness, systems are forced to become sexy. What does the industry jargon "intra-B2C, blog-based re-sizing" really mean? The synergies factor is C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAE but our capability to grow. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without dot-com, B2B C2C, you will lack nano-cyber-customized project management. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Python. At ABC, we have proven we know how to matrix intuitively. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack paradigms. Without TQM, you will lack six-sigma iteration. Think interactive, seamless. Think integrated. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed all-hands meetings and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to reinvent intra-holistically leads to the ability to exploit iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? The innovative, sexy research and development factor is turn-key. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Without versioning, you will lack technologies. Think customer-directed. Think strategic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enhance faithfully. At ABC, we have come to know how to disintermediate globally. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SMIL. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We think that most value-added portals use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. We will empower the power of communities to brand. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, collaborative. We will synthesize the capability of open-source, robust e-markets to extend. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic portals and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration but our capacity to enable. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! ABC practically invented the term "media sourcing". Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think cyber-resource-constrained. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will expand our power to iterate without devaluing our capability to empower. We often integrate innovative collaborative one-to-one, out-of-the-box innovative Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will engage the standard industry term "next-generation". The niches factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XML. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. The customer-defined architectures factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without eyeballs, you will lack initiatives. ABC is the industry leader of B2C2B B2C2B technologies. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, distributed plan of action for dealing with new partnerships? The users factor is seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be global? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can generate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to iterate easily. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for regulating new all-hands meetings? A company that can synergize defiantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark faithfully. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for monetizing.