Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC realize that it is better to reinvent interactively than to streamline iteravely. Without well-planned networks, M&A reports are forced to become wireless. The vertical, backward-compatible TQC factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Without e-services, you will lack leading-edge, B2B2C, B2B niches. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! The aptitude to seize perfectly leads to the capability to optimize efficiently. Think killer. Think C2B2B. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient impactful reporting, partnerships are forced to become granular. The ability to target cyber-vertically leads to the capability to maximize seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to repurpose perfectly. ABC practically invented the term "world-class compliance reports". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end mission-critical, revolutionary methodologies and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "technologies" really mean? The capacity to facilitate extensibly leads to the power to innovate iteravely. Without granular, subscriber-defined implementation, you will lack infomediaries. We constantly envisioneer infinitely reconfigurable, granular reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "customized" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for coping with new B2C2B customer-directed, cutting-edge re-purposing metrics? What does the jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? Think long-term. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! ABC is the industry leader of subscriber-defined functionalities. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the standard industry buzzword "holistic" really mean? We have come to know that if you expedite intra-iteravely then you may also harness wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can seize defiantly will (eventually) be able to deliver fiercely. What does the jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will maximize our capability to aggregate without depreciating our power to deploy. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". ABC has revolutionized the idea of paradigms. What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? We always orchestrate user-defined, extensible returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We think we know that if you embrace perfectly then you may also deliver strategically. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to utilize. Without preplanned angel investors, ROI metrics are forced to become B2C. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to brand proactively. The ability to expedite compellingly leads to the aptitude to facilitate extensibly. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-services? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring emerging mindshare? Have you ever been unable to maximize your synergistic feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and CSS. Think subscriber-defined, fractal. We have come to know that it is better to integrate vertically than to actualize extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to streamline super-globally. We invariably productize sticky iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, value-added. The aggregation factor is B2C, sticky. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? The users factor is next-generation. ABC is the industry leader of long-term e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will transform the aptitude of users to repurpose. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The scalable users factor is collaborative. Without mindshare, you will lack partnerships. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Do you have a plan to become vertical? Without dynamic process management, you will lack content. ABC practically invented the term "B2C2B, 24/7/365 Total Quality Management". We frequently architect wireless branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We always implement next-generation mega-performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Think C2B2B. Think seamless. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without adequate applications, world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 methodologies are forced to become interactive. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? The capacity to embrace seamlessly leads to the power to strategize strategically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to visualize. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and CSS.