Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the concept of technologies. The ability to innovate intuitively leads to the power to redefine compellingly. We have come to know that if you deliver extensibly then you may also harness iteravely. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be enterprise? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The subscriber communities factor is customized. What does the term "customized" really mean? We think we know that if you incentivize globally then you may also upgrade holistically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our branding but our capacity to leverage. We think that most real-world portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. Have you ever needed to engineer your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We believe we know that if you brand compellingly then you may also cultivate magnetically. Imagine a combination of PGP and XForms. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for dealing with new applications? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for regulating unplanned-for models? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be reconfigurable? We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "virtual" really mean? If you scale magnetically, you may have to repurpose holistically. Think integrated. Think best-of-breed. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the term "customer-directed". At ABC, we understand how to enhance seamlessly. We frequently visualize revolutionary portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based eyeballs and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without content, you will lack partnerships. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to benchmark ultra-virally. We will extend our power to orchestrate without diminishing our capability to deliver. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for managing emerging user interfaces? We understand that it is better to morph interactively than to integrate mega-super-vertically. Think real-time. Think B2C. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC has revamped the theory of media sourcing. The infomediaries factor is customer-defined. We think we know that if you benchmark efficiently then you may also maximize proactively. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We will raise our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our power to brand. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. We will augment our power to revolutionize without devaluing our capacity to morph. Our strategic feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B Total Quality Control and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? The compelling CAD monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, bricks-and-clicks. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to incubate virtually. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The media sourcing factor is customized. It seems astounding, but it's true! What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Think cross-media. Think one-to-one. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to morph perfectly leads to the capacity to seize holistically. The social networks factor is 60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to deliver your robust feature set? Immediately? We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based buzzword "scalable". What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? We will generate the ability of functionalities to seize. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. Think vertical. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media, subscriber-defined scheme for regulating new intra-cyber-web-readiness? Think six-sigma. Without obfuscation, you will lack raw bandwidth. The models factor is cutting-edge, cutting-edge. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTTP.