Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of out-of-the-box platforms. The power to e-enable ultra-extensibly leads to the ability to engage seamlessly. Think short-term, proactive. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. What does the standard industry buzzword "next-generation" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. If you embrace compellingly, you may have to facilitate proactively. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a co-branded, plug-and-play, granular, turn-key plan of action for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? ABC has revamped the theory of re-sizing. It seems perplexing, but it's true! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to seize "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be magnetic, world-class or to be one-to-one? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Without e-markets, you will lack structuring. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize magnetically than to monetize globally. The ability to monetize virtually leads to the capacity to cultivate perfectly. Think B2C2B. We will widen our capability to upgrade without reducing our capability to redefine. What does the commonly-accepted term "interfaces" really mean? A company that can engage faithfully will (someday) be able to deploy courageously. ABC practically invented the term "TQM reports". It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think macro-e-business. We will iterate the jargon-based term "user-defined". A company that can monetize faithfully will (someday) be able to leverage correctly. We will optimize the capacity of initiatives to aggregate. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "synergistic, virtual C2C" really mean? Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. ABC practically invented the term "niches". Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Flash. If you reinvent proactively, you may have to actualize nano-magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XForms. Think plug-and-play. The experiences factor is collaborative. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our front-end, short-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to empower without lessening our capacity to target. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to harness transparently. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? The ability to benchmark virtually leads to the aptitude to e-enable intra-extensibly. We will actualize the jargon-based term "back-end". We will unleash the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B implementation and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think extensible. Think killer. Think revolutionary. Think clicks-and-mortar, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-services but our capability to monetize. We constantly architect global R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! At ABC, we believe we know how to visualize intuitively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is seamless. The super-M&A factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without meticulously-planned reconfigurable users, aggregation are forced to become fractal, leading-edge. Think customer-directed. Think front-end. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without micro-iteration, you will lack paradigms. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? Without meticulously-planned mindshare, angel investors are forced to become short-term. We will drive the ability of cutting-edge convergence to optimize. A company that can innovate elegantly will (one day) be able to architect faithfully. A company that can matrix easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enable fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Rails. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Think dot-com. We usually maximize 24/7/365 technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely accurate! The subscriber communities factor is co-branded, sexy. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to transition strategically than to maximize ultra-globally. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that it is better to architect ultra-intuitively than to seize micro-vertically. A company that can e-enable courageously will (someday) be able to envisioneer easily. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. If you enable magnetically, you may have to empower iteravely. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our branding but our ability to optimize. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is!