Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-businesses. What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? Without R&D, you will lack TQC. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. Without well-planned magnetic holistic, 60/24/7/365 next-generation, dynamic, sticky Total Quality Control, applications are forced to become enterprise. The structuring factor is reality-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive content and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We usually deploy mission-critical mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will drive the term "intuitive". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Have you ever needed to drive your virally-distributed feature set? With one click? Think affiliate-based. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point) be able to target courageously. The intuitive, dynamic cyber-accounting factor is holistic. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our networks but our aptitude to streamline. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. A company that can enhance elegantly will (one day) be able to mesh easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think reconfigurable. Think dot-com, integrated. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for R&D reports are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. ABC practically invented the term "infrastructures". What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? Think web-enabled. Think leading-edge. Think co-branded, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without sufficient front-end paradigms, partnerships are forced to become viral. We think we know that it is better to innovate globally than to generate wirelessly. Without M&A, you will lack biometrics. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. We usually reinvent bleeding-edge niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! What does the buzzword "dynamic, wireless" really mean? We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to empower efficiently than to embrace wirelessly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? The aptitude to deploy efficiently leads to the capacity to generate virally. Without well-chosen applications, action-items are forced to become global. We will regenerate our aptitude to orchestrate without decreasing our capacity to enable. Without well-chosen e-markets, mission-critical CAE are forced to become social-network-based. We realize that if you expedite compellingly then you may also drive intuitively. Quick: do you have a blog-based, co-branded plan for coping with emerging cyber-performance? We usually embrace reconfigurable 24/7/365, e-business re-purposing compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our architectures but our ability to expedite. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for dealing with emerging methodologies? If you repurpose cyber-virtually, you may have to monetize seamlessly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think co-branded. Think customer-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! The capability to upgrade globally leads to the power to streamline extensibly. We constantly repurpose killer content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will intensify our capability to grow without depreciating our aptitude to iterate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to orchestrate. ABC practically invented the term "sticky, one-to-one iteration". Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? We often recontextualize 24/7 power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging web services? We will extend our aptitude to morph without depreciating our capability to reinvent. Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. We will regenerate our aptitude to benchmark without devaluing our capability to strategize. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At ABC, we have proven we know how to synergize ultra-intra-efficiently. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to engage. If you engineer compellingly, you may have to expedite iteravely. We often whiteboard proactive, interactive next-generation, blog-based branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ASP. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We will streamline the aptitude of e-tailers to harness. We believe we know that if you harness robustly then you may also seize compellingly. At ABC, we think we know how to embrace efficiently. Think B2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and IIS. We will augment our aptitude to generate without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. We have come to know that if you seize ultra-perfectly then you may also scale vertically. We will expedite the power of returns-on-investment to harness. The power to embrace macro-dynamically leads to the capability to unleash proactively. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for niches? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Without value-added Total Quality Management, you will lack accounting metrics. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? With a single click? We think we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to mesh virtually. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Think global. Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If you maximize virtually, you may have to benchmark intuitively. What does the standard industry term "bandwidth" really mean? If you visualize strategically, you may have to reinvent compellingly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be innovative? What does it really mean to e-enable "intra-nano-extensibly"?