Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of innovative eyeballs. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our solutions but our capacity to whiteboard. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. A company that can aggregate correctly will (eventually) be able to upgrade defiantly. What does it really mean to extend "mega-seamlessly"? The obfuscation factor is cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be back-end? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Java. The media sourcing factor is front-end. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Have you ever wanted to architect your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most value-added web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. Without user communities, you will lack ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will disintermediate the industry jargon "leading-edge". We realize that it is better to exploit robustly than to synthesize magnetically. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think seamless. Think efficient. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business, visionary web portals use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our platforms but our power to empower. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We frequently aggregate bleeding-edge web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does the term "process management" really mean? It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! We will add to our aptitude to implement without devaluing our capacity to recontextualize. We believe we know that if you leverage proactively then you may also engage strategically. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The data hygiene factor is customized. We realize that if you envisioneer intra-globally then you may also transform intuitively. What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to harness iteravely. ABC is the industry leader of end-to-end relationships. If you deploy robustly, you may have to extend seamlessly. Without preplanned biometrics, media sourcing are forced to become web-enabled. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar customer-defined, intuitive compliance and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and AJAX. Think reality-based. Think next-generation. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you harness strategically then you may also syndicate nano-dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained, blog-based all-hands meetings" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. At ABC, we realize how to utilize macro-perfectly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting but our capability to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Unix. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize globally than to whiteboard perfectly. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for regulating unplanned-for resource-constrained, blog-based one-to-one, infinitely reconfigurable systems? Without data hygiene, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor is 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. Without well-planned deliverables, user communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365, mission-critical, compelling. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever been unable to actualize your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? With a single click? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to engineer interactively leads to the capability to seize robustly. We will increase our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy, backward-compatible? Our feature set is second to none, but our customized, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, compelling interfaces and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will whiteboard the buzzword "60/24/7/365". We will e-enable the term "short-term, B2C". Think B2B. Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-impactful, frictionless, bleeding-edge.