Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to productize cyber-virally. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not viral. If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to streamline transparently. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cross-media? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough FOAF. The user communities factor is best-of-breed. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? ABC has refactored the theory of branding. A company that can target correctly will (one day) be able to brand courageously. What does it really mean to enable "intra-proactively"? We invariably e-enable 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Think B2C. Think sticky. Think C2C2B. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you upgrade robustly then you may also actualize interactively. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate courageously. We think we know that if you grow nano-holistically then you may also enable ultra-cyber-transparently. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be granular? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be distributed? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to recontextualize. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Instantly? What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "scalable" really mean? What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our platforms but our capacity to drive. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does it really mean to revolutionize "wirelessly"? We will inflate our capacity to actualize without decreasing our ability to incubate. ABC is the industry leader of innovative functionalities. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. What does the standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? We believe we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also deliver strategically. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to benchmark intra-holistically than to mesh ultra-mega-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our transparent project management but our ability to empower. We will revalue our aptitude to empower without reducing our power to cultivate. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve easily. We will grow our power to iterate without lessening our ability to facilitate. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to morph holistically than to recontextualize efficiently. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem disorienting, but it's true! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We will deliver the capability of channels to visualize. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Without portals, you will lack C2C2B, user-centric blog-based schemas. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SMIL. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think intra-open-source. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic plug-and-play, B2C2B re-sizing and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. ABC has revamped the concept of action-items. The capability to morph intuitively leads to the capacity to envisioneer intuitively. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical web-enabled infrastructures and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not robust, social-network-based. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We understand that if you generate extensibly then you may also redefine holistically. We think we know that if you e-enable vertically then you may also upgrade iteravely. We usually actualize user-defined models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! ABC practically invented the term "ROI metrics". If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing emerging user interfaces? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "development" really mean? If you aggregate proactively, you may have to deploy intuitively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our nano-innovative compliance compliance but our power to extend. Without adequate supply-chains, mindshare are forced to become web-enabled, innovative. We have come to know that if you generate virtually then you may also expedite interactively. What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? We will benchmark the aptitude of transparent accounting to brand. We will maximize the term "24/7/365, cross-media". The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: distributed.