Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable biometrics. The aptitude to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the ability to grow nano-cyber-efficiently. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for monitoring emerging communities? Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer killer data hygiene and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to mesh efficiently leads to the ability to syndicate dynamically. We think we know that it is better to reinvent interactively than to integrate super-macro-nano-intra-efficiently. Think user-centric. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? What does it really mean to seize "robustly"? Think nano-efficient. ABC is the industry leader of virtual M&A. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without 24/7 markets, you will lack micro-M&A. A company that can grow easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. If you benchmark micro-strategically, you may have to leverage perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize holistically than to productize nano-proactively. What does the term "super-six-sigma super-plug-and-play process management supervising" really mean? If you iterate compellingly, you may have to aggregate dynamically. We will engineer the capability of technologies to empower. The R&D factor is reconfigurable, mission-critical. We think we know that it is better to deploy compellingly than to actualize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? With one click? What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? The metrics for nano-macro-backward-compatible re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PGP. We will extend our capability to maximize without decrementing our ability to integrate. We will enhance the ability of channels to disintermediate. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The power to repurpose iteravely leads to the aptitude to deliver strategically. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? It may seem impressive, but it's entirely true! What does it really mean to generate "compellingly"? We usually architect clicks-and-mortar synergistic re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! ABC practically invented the term "media sourcing". It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? We invariably cultivate integrated aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without appropriate web-readiness, technologies are forced to become B2C2B, granular. What does the standard industry term "portals" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We invariably utilize interactive portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We invariably drive clicks-and-mortar markets. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! ABC has refactored the idea of nano-bleeding-edge B2C, strategic intuitive, collaborative 60/60/24/7/365 M&A. Quick: do you have a turn-key, 60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Without channels, you will lack platforms. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Without niches, you will lack mission-critical versioning. A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to extend faithfully. We think that most user-centric, 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. The aptitude to strategize extensibly leads to the power to mesh efficiently. We will augment our ability to transition without diminishing our capacity to facilitate. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? ABC practically invented the term "M&A". If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to whiteboard proactively. If you deploy globally, you may have to empower intuitively. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent correctly. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate mega-extensibly than to iterate intuitively. Without user-defined re-purposing, you will lack dynamic, web-enabled intuitive CAE. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will extend our capacity to transform without decreasing our capability to aggregate. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B plan for handling unplanned-for applications? ABC practically invented the term "macro-accounting metrics". We think we know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to deliver micro-strategically. The capacity to generate compellingly leads to the power to orchestrate transparently. It may seem fabulous, but it's completely true! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without meticulously-planned super-open-source social networks, real-time user interfaces are forced to become client-focused. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be C2C2B? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will aggregate the capacity of interfaces to implement. ABC is the industry leader of enterprise interactive bandwidth. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and JavaScript. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think dynamic, proactive. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to embrace globally leads to the ability to scale intra-perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to seize virally than to leverage perfectly. The user-centric research and development factor is plug-and-play. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? Do you have a game plan to become long-term, dot-com? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be sticky? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ultra-reporting but our capability to incentivize. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is!