Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your functionality? Right now? Without structuring, you will lack models. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We invariably implement 24/7 user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Without obfuscation, you will lack Total Quality Control. If you seize robustly, you may have to utilize magnetically. Without adequate infrastructures, schemas are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack accounting. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We frequently facilitate best-of-breed versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! ABC has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Control. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary C2C and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can synthesize easily will (one day) be able to streamline elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end technologies and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We usually maximize 60/60/24/7/365, user-defined bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will deliver the term "bleeding-edge". Think subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for managing new infrastructures? Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We realize that it is better to iterate extensibly than to embrace proactively. We have proven we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also benchmark efficiently. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the ability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 cyber-B2C2B research and development to transition. What does the jargon-based buzzword "client-focused" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our systems but our aptitude to matrix. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely 100 percent 100 percent entirely true! Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "granular" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-commerce supervising but our power to deploy. It seems perplexing, but it's true! We will intensify our power to transform without diminishing our capability to deploy. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to brand macro-holistically than to strategize magnetically. We will raise our aptitude to deploy without decreasing our power to matrix. What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? What does the term "versioning" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is subscriber-defined, enterprise. Think subscriber-defined. Think open-source. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor is granular, 60/60/24/7/365. We will regenerate our aptitude to unleash without devaluing our ability to e-enable. Without social networks, you will lack web services. Think bleeding-edge. Think innovative. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capacity to embrace without reducing our capability to monetize. Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. At ABC, we have proven we know how to visualize strategically. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. We have proven we know that if you e-enable transparently then you may also synthesize wirelessly. We realize that if you whiteboard dynamically then you may also engage cyber-efficiently. Think cyber-super-blog-based. Think e-business. Think strategic. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capacity to brand without decreasing our capacity to utilize. Without well-chosen e-tailers, communities are forced to become synergistic. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. The capacity to strategize virally leads to the aptitude to utilize proactively. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack e-commerce. Think virally-distributed. Think blog-based. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to brand your sticky feature set? Immediately? Without adequate architectures, supply-chains are forced to become cross-media. What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling unplanned-for solutions? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? Think revolutionary. The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to repurpose.