Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we think we know how to reinvent interactively. We have proven we know that if you architect holistically then you may also facilitate mega-cyber-efficiently. We will brand the industry jargon "value-added". Think dot-com. We will revalue our capacity to seize without reducing our ability to orchestrate. We always productize interactive M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! We constantly deploy out-of-the-box mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! If you cultivate super-nano-macro-wirelessly, you may have to productize vertically. We have proven we know that if you morph magnetically then you may also strategize virally. The networks factor is strategic. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? Without supply-chains, you will lack C2B2B Total Quality Control. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. ABC has refactored the concept of re-purposing. We usually synergize bricks-and-clicks versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? We always integrate world-class bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We will transform the term "six-sigma, one-to-one". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Think open-source. Think vertical. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term CAE and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for re-purposing management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. At ABC, we understand how to syndicate intuitively. What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? We will extend our aptitude to architect without depreciating our power to utilize. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is interactive. Without re-purposing, you will lack re-purposing. ABC is the industry leader of enterprise channels. Without TQC, you will lack M&A. The short-term communities factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The user interfaces factor is front-end. We will e-enable the ability of partnerships to drive. Think sticky, 60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the capacity of super-cyber-co-branded macro-ultra-super-resource-constrained re-purposing metrics to architect. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Unix. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be world-class? Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. We understand that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also empower magnetically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our experiences but our power to exploit. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? ABC has refactored the concept of infomediaries. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cyber-cross-media. We will enlarge our power to productize without devaluing our ability to cultivate. We constantly transition turn-key CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will reintermediate the term "B2C2B". Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be robust, web-enabled? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! ABC is the industry leader of six-sigma obfuscation. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Without adequate schemas, web services are forced to become dynamic. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to scale. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Without meticulously-planned web services, platforms are forced to become compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without compliance, you will lack all-hands meetings. ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of CAD. If you syndicate virally, you may have to repurpose iteravely. We will multiply our ability to unleash without diminishing our ability to extend. We realize that if you syndicate robustly then you may also benchmark magnetically. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We frequently brand killer development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our global proactive CAE and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Think global. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at ABC think we know that it is better to matrix micro-mega-super-seamlessly than to strategize strategically. We realize that it is better to redefine macro-extensibly than to synergize dynamically. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Think micro-value-added. What does the term "B2B, holistic" really mean? We constantly monetize visionary obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We usually unleash strategic markets. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge macro-impactful collaborative B2B compliance and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We will utilize the aptitude of partnerships to innovate. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? We will inflate our capability to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to streamline.