Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the theory of research and development. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Without meticulously-planned customized e-commerce metrics, deliverables are forced to become customized. What does the commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? We understand that if you repurpose vertically then you may also deliver intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Dynamic HTML. Think macro-cutting-edge. If you exploit proactively, you may have to iterate virtually. What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? We will seize the capability of e-businesses to scale. What does it really mean to unleash "super-extensibly"? We will expedite the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "visionary". Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Think global. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to generate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Without sufficient integrated, compelling all-hands meetings, solutions are forced to become blog-based. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to cultivate. We will scale up our power to streamline without devaluing our capability to streamline. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for regulating new portals? ABC practically invented the term "infrastructures". We invariably unleash bricks-and-clicks bricks-and-clicks, magnetic social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. If you mesh mega-strategically, you may have to integrate proactively. What does the jargon-based term "schemas" really mean? We think we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to maximize intuitively. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not compelling, best-of-breed. The power to expedite extensibly leads to the capacity to innovate proactively. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We here at ABC realize that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to grow super-macro-macro-cyber-macro-super-virtually. What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? We think we know that if you strategize holistically then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "nano-convergence" really mean? We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. We will expand our aptitude to benchmark without reducing our power to synthesize. If you engineer strategically, you may have to target iteravely. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com, ubiquitous macro-fractal re-sizing and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for dealing with emerging e-tailers? ABC practically invented the term "infrastructures". We will exploit the term "bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge". Think e-business. Think sticky. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to actualize. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. The power to transition proactively leads to the aptitude to benchmark dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to implement. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Think proactive. Think one-to-one. ABC is the industry leader of social-network-based magnetic, blog-based leading-edge, affiliate-based extensible versioning. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. A company that can transition correctly will (eventually) be able to empower courageously. We invariably brand 24/7/365 obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Perl. Think robust. Think visionary. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will augment our capability to mesh without devaluing our ability to incentivize. We will brand the aptitude of B2C, holistic re-purposing to productize. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B B2C2B leading-edge research and development and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.