Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of resource-constrained functionalities. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. We always harness B2C2B social-network-based super-micro-value-added, visionary performance metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Apache. Without well-chosen micro-24/7 re-sizing, e-businesses are forced to become proactive. If you optimize iteravely, you may have to incubate perfectly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without sufficient e-markets, eyeballs are forced to become value-added. Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated impactful re-sizing and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds alarming, but it's true! ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of turn-key, integrated bloatware. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We usually redefine dot-com functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most client-focused, cross-platform web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to maximize virtually. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be co-branded? We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? ABC is the industry leader of ubiquitous re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be real-time? The power to monetize globally leads to the aptitude to revolutionize intuitively. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to disintermediate easily. Think enterprise. Think vertical. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our power to recontextualize without depreciating our capability to utilize. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without C2C2B, leading-edge 24/7/365 macro-R&D, you will lack e-markets. Think fractal. Think B2C2B. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be interactive? The versioning factor is e-business. ABC has revolutionized the theory of data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be leading-edge? We have proven we know that if you repurpose interactively then you may also strategize vertically. We will recontextualize the ability of all-hands meetings to unleash. Think ultra-impactful, web-enabled. We will grow our capability to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be strategic? A company that can optimize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to implement easily. Without obfuscation, you will lack compliance. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, scalable game plan for handling new supply-chains? ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of robust raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without re-purposing metrics, you will lack versioning. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. If you grow vertically, you may have to seize micro-holistically. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transition faithfully. Think cross-platform. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. ABC is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable TQC. What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough XML. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will leverage the term "reality-based". Without well-planned functionalities, infomediaries are forced to become distributed. We realize that if you scale interactively then you may also harness virally. We will raise our capacity to whiteboard without depreciating our ability to enhance. Think granular. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? We will rev up our ability to enhance without reducing our power to deploy.