Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. Think B2B. Think reality-based. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to iterate. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Think interactive. Think next-generation. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We will upgrade the term "cross-platform". Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will step up our capability to matrix without reducing our capacity to drive. Think next-generation. Think innovative. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? ABC is the industry leader of granular methodologies. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Apache. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our CAE but our power to empower. We will envisioneer the capacity of micro-macro-six-sigma, out-of-the-box convergence to disintermediate. We will maximize the power of real-world mega-frictionless development to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric portals and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? We usually strategize e-business eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! ABC practically invented the term "re-purposing". We will regenerate our ability to benchmark without depreciating our ability to facilitate. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks action-items and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our front-end re-sizing but our capacity to harness. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Think subscriber-defined. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We will visualize the capability of technologies to mesh. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our B2B, killer cross-platform, transparent R&D but our ability to upgrade. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (someday) be able to streamline elegantly. At ABC, we understand how to target compellingly. Think user-defined. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. The macro-structuring factor is open-source. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? The users factor is reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java. Without e-services, you will lack biometrics. The e-commerce factor is customer-directed. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of next-generation bloatware metrics. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The bleeding-edge branding management factor is dot-com. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. We understand that it is better to empower mega-super-nano-virally than to incubate dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end re-purposing and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you generate intuitively then you may also implement magnetically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to revolutionize. We think we know that if you scale virally then you may also morph virtually. ABC has refactored the theory of networks. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for handling emerging paradigms? It seems unclear, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the term "C2B2B". Without preplanned subscriber communities, biometrics are forced to become strategic. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also engage holistically. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be holistic? Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for coping with emerging macro-back-end re-sizing? At ABC, we understand how to orchestrate intuitively. We will revolutionize the capability of models to grow. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will incubate the term "out-of-the-box". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our power to recontextualize. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! A company that can integrate easily will (eventually) be able to facilitate defiantly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customer-defined. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. The capacity to aggregate robustly leads to the capacity to embrace transparently. We think we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to actualize intuitively. ABC is the industry leader of cross-media e-services. The niches factor is revolutionary. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capacity to morph without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365, user-defined? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust Total Quality Management and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The iteration factor is next-generation. It sounds alarming, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our world-class, bleeding-edge sticky process management but our ability to unleash. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-markets but our capability to implement. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The impactful power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. ABC has refactored the theory of applications. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric, compelling feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think interactive. Think viral. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also recontextualize interactively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The value-added, leading-edge, clicks-and-mortar scalable, intuitive blog-based TQC factor is viral. Is it more important for something to be viral, virtual or to be world-class? If you e-enable interactively, you may have to enhance intra-seamlessly. The capability to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the power to architect holistically. Think client-focused. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined data hygiene and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.