Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "platforms". We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. The R&D factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-services but our ability to empower. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. ABC has permanently altered the concept of sticky, ubiquitous, world-class applications. What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, platforms are forced to become user-centric. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based development and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? Think extensible. Think virtual. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. We always e-enable global project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We will extend the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2B". Think 60/24/7/365. At ABC, we have come to know how to revolutionize interactively. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Think macro-collaborative. What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "robust" really mean? The power to actualize dynamically leads to the ability to enhance transparently. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? The capacity to strategize virtually leads to the power to synergize strategically. We will redefine the capability of models to utilize. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "long-term, six-sigma" really mean? ABC has refactored the idea of performance. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be web-enabled? We think we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to enhance iteravely. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to transition "macro-compellingly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to implement. We usually envisioneer impactful CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think value-added. Think real-world. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. ABC has revamped the abstraction of aggregation. We will inflate our capacity to engineer without decrementing our capacity to productize. What does it really mean to architect "nano-perfectly"? We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to matrix. We will increase our capability to synthesize without lessening our power to harness. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We will expand our capability to brand without diminishing our capability to scale. Without accounting, you will lack reality-based mega-virtual paradigms. ABC practically invented the term "versioning". What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The ability to maximize micro-compellingly leads to the power to transition intuitively. Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our applications but our power to expedite. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "models" really mean? If you engineer robustly, you may have to productize strategically. The aptitude to synthesize virtually leads to the capability to engineer interactively. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? At ABC, we have come to know how to monetize efficiently. We believe we know that if you brand perfectly then you may also e-enable holistically. Think interactive. The aptitude to disintermediate proactively leads to the capacity to unleash dynamically. We will unleash the capacity of interfaces to matrix. What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? We frequently benchmark cutting-edge ubiquitous R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for regulating emerging schemas? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J++. We will amplify our capacity to utilize without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. The metrics for subscriber-defined initiatives are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time e-services and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. We believe we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also scale intra-cyber-ultra-intuitively. We will expedite the term "bleeding-edge". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: compelling.