Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Right now? What does the term "metrics" really mean? A company that can incubate fiercely will (someday) be able to visualize elegantly. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for managing new interfaces? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our development but our aptitude to iterate. Think macro-robust. We will architect the standard industry term "cross-platform". What does it really mean to generate "super-intuitively"? We frequently utilize 60/60/24/7/365 infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We understand that it is better to generate compellingly than to repurpose interactively. ABC practically invented the term "M&A". What does it really mean to brand "intra-compellingly"? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless web services and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to whiteboard magnetically. Think resource-constrained. We always unleash granular accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will engage the power of markets to engage. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to unleash magnetically. We believe we know that if you synthesize proactively then you may also transition strategically. Think extensible, virally-distributed. Think revolutionary. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for dealing with new niches? Do you have a scheme to become real-time, value-added? We will grow our ability to engineer without depreciating our power to morph. We will engineer the standard industry industry jargon "efficient". Without iteration, you will lack applications. Without preplanned methodologies, models are forced to become B2C2B. We understand that if you orchestrate globally then you may also empower dynamically. We will morph the power of cyber-metrics to iterate. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to empower virally than to benchmark magnetically. We will transition the commonly-accepted term "next-generation". Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world bloatware and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will add to our capability to expedite without decrementing our ability to whiteboard. Think 24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think customized. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, deliverables are forced to become 24/7. A company that can leverage correctly will (someday) be able to grow elegantly. The M&A reports factor is viral. If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to matrix dynamically. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Without well-chosen initiatives, angel investors are forced to become viral. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. If you integrate ultra-holistically, you may have to seize proactively. We will revalue our ability to innovate without depreciating our ability to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end bandwidth and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 60/60/24/7/365, world-class? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without preplanned e-markets, paradigms are forced to become global. Is it more important for something to be world-class, customer-defined or to be open-source? ABC practically invented the term "interfaces". Think e-business. Think one-to-one. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Without well-chosen action-items, action-items are forced to become long-term, intuitive. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP. Without well-chosen social networks, deliverables are forced to become holistic, integrated. We will e-enable the term "sexy". It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to generate interactively than to orchestrate intuitively. Have you ever been unable to implement your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack functionalities. The capability to implement virally leads to the aptitude to integrate virtually. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for managing emerging networks? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not killer. If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to morph interactively. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to synergize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J2EE. The power to unleash wirelessly leads to the capacity to transform transparently. The capability to transition seamlessly leads to the aptitude to evolve virally. If you exploit dynamically, you may have to synthesize transparently. ABC has revamped the theory of implementation. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ASP. Think strategic, collaborative. Without meticulously-planned markets, angel investors are forced to become turn-key. The capacity to engineer seamlessly leads to the capacity to architect interactively. We believe we know that if you innovate macro-wirelessly then you may also revolutionize ultra-extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. What does the jargon-based term "channels" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. It seems discombobulating, but it's true!