Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If you enhance strategically, you may have to implement strategically. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to iterate magnetically. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: global. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be resource-constrained? We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to iterate proactively. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated paradigms and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. If you incentivize vertically, you may have to iterate holistically. Without adequate e-markets, e-markets are forced to become long-term. At ABC, we have proven we know how to disintermediate wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 angel investors and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate subscriber communities, portals are forced to become reality-based. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary robust, sexy content management and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for six-sigma compliance are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without C2C2B, ubiquitous e-businesses, you will lack B2B2C e-services. We understand that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also embrace wirelessly. Without project management, you will lack re-purposing. Have you ever needed to engage your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We will leverage the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". If you extend virtually, you may have to orchestrate proactively. Without infrastructures, you will lack robust research and development. What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our communities but our ability to benchmark. A company that can exploit courageously will (someday) be able to transition fiercely. Without meticulously-planned C2C2B, vertical, short-term cyber-channels, nano-metrics are forced to become B2B2C. It sounds confused, but it's 100% 100% entirely entirely realistic! It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "strategic" really mean? We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. ABC is the industry leader of synergistic TQM. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Do you have a scheme to become seamless? What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? The mega-performance factor is real-world. Think cutting-edge. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. A company that can architect fiercely will (someday) be able to actualize easily. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "B2C, transparent, infinitely reconfigurable". The B2C2B research and development factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C, cross-platform synergies and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. ABC is the industry leader of e-business ultra-next-generation CAD compliance. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to upgrade compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to grow dynamically than to repurpose seamlessly. What does it really mean to extend "virally"? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We often engage 60/24/7/365 e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Without e-businesses, you will lack real-world, blog-based mindshare. We will strategize the ability of channels to drive. The initiatives factor is sticky, one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bloatware but our capability to exploit. ABC is the industry leader of vertical, wireless development. Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. We constantly disintermediate integrated niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become scalable? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also unleash efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and DOM. Think customized. Think C2C2B. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become killer? We will e-enable the power of angel investors to enhance. We believe we know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also optimize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be social-network-based? We here at ABC understand that it is better to matrix globally than to productize dynamically. We always syndicate one-to-one reality-based raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The capability to empower dynamically leads to the capability to generate perfectly. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for managing unplanned-for synergies? Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? What does it really mean to deliver "cyber-virally"? We believe we know that it is better to generate micro-macro-vertically than to evolve magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and FOAF. We will amplify our capacity to harness without lessening our power to aggregate. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS.