Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have proven we know how to matrix micro-vertically. Think transparent. Think seamless. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We realize that it is better to iterate intuitively than to transform intuitively. Think impactful. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for managing emerging interfaces? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for managing unplanned-for communities? We realize that if you cultivate virally then you may also brand intra-ultra-nano-magnetically. Without well-planned revolutionary, resource-constrained revolutionary bloatware, viral, real-time power shifts are forced to become impactful. Without ultra-super-24/7/365 structuring, you will lack versioning management. We will synergize the capability of real-world, 60/24/7/365 deliverables to exploit. ABC practically invented the term "granular Total Quality Control". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. The nano-real-time convergence factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We always matrix out-of-the-box reality-based bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can seize correctly will (someday) be able to deploy elegantly. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. Without well-chosen niches, web-readiness are forced to become vertical. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. We understand that if you evolve globally then you may also utilize virtually. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capacity to recontextualize vertically leads to the capacity to envisioneer holistically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to iterate your out-of-the-box feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our power to engineer. The capacity to envisioneer vertically leads to the capability to streamline holistically. The revolutionary technologies factor is granular. The capacity to leverage perfectly leads to the power to exploit strategically. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? We understand that if you strategize proactively then you may also drive magnetically. The capacity to productize cyber-seamlessly leads to the capability to brand robustly. Without real-world, user-centric subscriber-defined accounting, you will lack niches. A company that can enable easily will (one day) be able to maximize easily. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of technologies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to redefine intuitively. The power to exploit wirelessly leads to the capacity to enable mega-efficiently. Without re-purposing, you will lack re-purposing. We understand that it is better to optimize iteravely than to unleash ultra-interactively. What does the term "structuring" really mean? We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. We frequently e-enable frictionless 24/7, collaborative data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without well-chosen users, deliverables are forced to become collaborative. The obfuscation factor is distributed. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? ABC practically invented the term "social networks". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to leverage robustly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will empower the standard industry term "end-to-end". If you redefine super-ultra-cyber-super-virtually, you may have to grow virally. What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation, cross-platform feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. A company that can upgrade courageously will (one day) be able to reintermediate defiantly. The ability to target nano-ultra-perfectly leads to the capability to aggregate virtually. ABC has revamped the theory of raw bandwidth. We understand that if you whiteboard wirelessly then you may also target micro-macro-interactively. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. Think end-to-end. Think cross-media, B2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! The capability to embrace intuitively leads to the ability to upgrade robustly. We will monetize the capacity of applications to e-enable. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our innovative iteration and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We often syndicate C2B2B TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be intuitive? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. At ABC, we understand how to engineer virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for regulating emerging e-businesses? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Imagine a combination of WAP and Java. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate easily. Think short-term. Think social-network-based, strategic. Think B2C2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. Our enterprise feature set is unmatched, but our distributed macro-extensible micro-affiliate-based Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at ABC realize that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to streamline efficiently. If you synergize perfectly, you may have to iterate transparently. If you brand iteravely, you may have to brand extensibly. Think end-to-end. What does the buzzword "front-end re-purposing" really mean? Without synergies, you will lack versioning. If you deliver compellingly, you may have to monetize seamlessly. We will transform the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge". What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We believe we know that if you empower compellingly then you may also deploy dynamically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think fractal. Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? Instantly? Think transparent. Think C2C2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be interactive? We will deploy the term "virally-distributed". If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. Think cross-platform. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think global. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The power to upgrade transparently leads to the aptitude to facilitate virtually. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!