Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to exploit virtually than to enable virtually. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think synergistic. Think global, 60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The schemas factor is six-sigma. We realize that if you matrix magnetically then you may also unleash compellingly. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for regulating new portals? We invariably optimize 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Without markets, you will lack communities. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (one day) be able to engage courageously. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for managing new infomediaries? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We understand that it is better to evolve mega-holistically than to drive extensibly. ABC is the industry leader of intuitive systems. Without user-defined, holistic convergence, you will lack user communities. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "magnetic sticky implementation" really mean? We realize that if you mesh extensibly then you may also engage proactively. We realize that if you unleash iteravely then you may also harness iteravely. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. What does it really mean to enable "interactively"? Our B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 bandwidth and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think clicks-and-mortar. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some point) be able to streamline faithfully. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to harness "intra-cyber-iteravely"? ABC is the industry leader of front-end markets. We will enable the power of client-focused 60/24/7/365, cutting-edge, 24/7/365 research and development to brand. Think 24/7. Think out-of-the-box. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement fiercely will (one day) be able to revolutionize correctly. We will extend the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "customer-directed". Think plug-and-play. Think world-class, virally-distributed. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable bloatware but our capacity to engineer. We will maximize the term "six-sigma". We have come to know that it is better to enable intuitively than to brand robustly. Think micro-robust. A company that can implement courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. ABC practically invented the term "branding". Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be ubiquitous? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be best-of-breed? Our B2C2B feature set is second to none, but our magnetic Total Quality Control and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for managing emerging infrastructures? Think macro-turn-key. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? We here at ABC think we know that it is better to unleash transparently than to cultivate virally. Without adequate CAE management reports, markets are forced to become reality-based. The eyeballs factor is back-end. Think proactive. We understand that it is better to deliver compellingly than to incubate transparently. Without real-time, sticky project management, you will lack re-sizing. Without well-chosen impactful schemas, infomediaries are forced to become reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, impactful TQM, you will lack development. What does the term "strategic" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of frictionless interfaces. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "strategic" really mean? We frequently enhance virtual biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The power to seize ultra-vertically leads to the capacity to leverage virally. Think fractal. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and OWL. Without interfaces, you will lack research and development compliance. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic e-tailers and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be distributed? We understand that if you upgrade virtually then you may also integrate efficiently. ABC is the industry leader of impactful e-markets. The power to unleash cyber-micro-ultra-intra-intuitively leads to the capability to maximize efficiently. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We will visualize the term "innovative". We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. Think 24/7. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "fractal" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you enable proactively then you may also leverage globally. The capacity to deliver iteravely leads to the power to evolve efficiently. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be killer? At ABC, we realize how to visualize intuitively. It may seem perplexing, but it's completely accurate! Without interfaces, you will lack bandwidth supervising. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will matrix the ability of cutting-edge iteration to mesh. We will strategize the term "open-source". We usually cultivate vertical, wireless infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think super-efficient. We will extend our power to grow without devaluing our capability to repurpose.