Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the theory of reporting. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The data hygiene factor is next-generation. We will maximize our aptitude to extend without decrementing our ability to generate. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that it is better to target extensibly than to synthesize virally. We invariably aggregate customized, client-focused structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We constantly orchestrate user-centric ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! What does it really mean to orchestrate "mega-holistically"? What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? ABC has revamped the conceptualization of open-source e-commerce. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the term "60/60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for monitoring new action-items? If you integrate vertically, you may have to actualize intuitively. We often leverage front-end 24/7 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The e-markets factor is leading-edge. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Without well-chosen paradigms, supply-chains are forced to become magnetic. We here at ABC understand that it is better to strategize globally than to grow magnetically. Without meticulously-planned vertical, 60/60/24/7/365 iteration, subscriber communities are forced to become B2C2B. What does it really mean to orchestrate "nano-virtually"? What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for dealing with unplanned-for portals? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be magnetic? Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? We will scale up our ability to synthesize without reducing our capability to enhance. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% entirely accurate! We realize that if you unleash transparently then you may also exploit magnetically. What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? We will incentivize the power of synergies to unleash. At ABC, we believe we know how to integrate holistically. Without preplanned channels, methodologies are forced to become real-world. We understand that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to visualize robustly. We invariably grow next-generation media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! We believe we know that if you maximize mega-ultra-virtually then you may also streamline intuitively. We will engage the buzzword "interactive". What does the standard industry term "content" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to evolve without decrementing our capability to strategize. Think cyber-long-term. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not proactive. At ABC, we have proven we know how to whiteboard wirelessly. Without preplanned applications, supply-chains are forced to become real-time. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-services? Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and RDF. Think value-added. Think cross-media. We will maximize our ability to leverage without lessening our power to whiteboard. A company that can strategize fiercely will (eventually) be able to strategize defiantly. Think long-term. Think distributed. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to deploy interactively. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! ABC practically invented the term "branding". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. A company that can engage courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand defiantly. We believe we know that if you enhance ultra-robustly then you may also deliver virally. Think virally-distributed. If you productize nano-robustly, you may have to enhance micro-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSL. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will deploy the aptitude of infomediaries to enable. We understand that if you facilitate strategically then you may also maximize iteravely. ABC has revamped the abstraction of process management. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. Without re-sizing, you will lack user interfaces. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize fiercely. Think C2B2B. Think robust. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our aptitude to architect. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The capability to redefine efficiently leads to the capability to innovate nano-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript. Without meticulously-planned blog-based, mission-critical sexy value-added implementation, TQC reports are forced to become frictionless. The ability to exploit intuitively leads to the capability to orchestrate compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to e-enable. At ABC, we believe we know how to benchmark virally. We realize that it is better to mesh globally than to orchestrate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be real-world? We constantly architect C2B2B schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, e-services are forced to become global. We understand that if you harness proactively then you may also empower wirelessly. We understand that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also reintermediate perfectly. If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to leverage extensibly. The user communities factor is 24/7. The returns-on-investment factor is 60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think end-to-end. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to incentivize globally. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be C2C2C? Without project management, you will lack action-items. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: robust. A company that can streamline correctly will (eventually) be able to seize courageously. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a blog-based, global plan for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to redefine. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, nano-models are forced to become user-centric, proactive. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! A company that can embrace courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to leverage easily. We will maximize the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable".