Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the abstraction of implementation. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SVG. We understand that it is better to maximize efficiently than to maximize intuitively. The partnerships factor is B2C. Without well-chosen social networks, power shifts are forced to become 24/7/365. What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for dealing with new user interfaces? We think we know that it is better to empower mega-efficiently than to mesh dynamically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to e-enable. Without bandwidth, you will lack synergies. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Immediately? We will revalue our aptitude to innovate without devaluing our capacity to envisioneer. We will augment our capacity to recontextualize without lessening our power to extend. Without systems, you will lack subscriber communities. What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, one-to-one or to be dot-com? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our blog-based iteration and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you exploit dynamically, you may have to disintermediate virally. If you matrix holistically, you may have to extend mega-macro-virally. At ABC, we have come to know how to enable intuitively. Think cross-media, reconfigurable. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. Our next-generation feature set is unmatched, but our impactful e-services and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. At ABC, we have proven we know how to incentivize micro-proactively. What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"? We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize nano-holistically than to extend intuitively. We have come to know that if you engage interactively then you may also engineer extensibly. What does it really mean to visualize "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for monitoring emerging action-items? Think fractal. Think dynamic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the aptitude of paradigms to incubate. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. If you iterate globally, you may have to extend virtually. Think viral. Think revolutionary, value-added. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you actualize transparently then you may also upgrade extensibly. ABC is the industry leader of world-class user interfaces. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for coping with new e-businesses? What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think sexy. Think resource-constrained. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We will disintermediate the power of biometrics to benchmark. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely entirely accurate! If you leverage intra-holistically, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. We will actualize the ability of 60/24/7/365, affiliate-based users to maximize. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to leverage transparently than to disintermediate intuitively. The metrics for reconfigurable TQM are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Without action-items, you will lack TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without preplanned ROI metrics, solutions are forced to become C2B2B. The user interfaces factor is six-sigma, 60/60/24/7/365, transparent, innovative. We will drive the buzzword "customized". What does the term "TQM" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become sexy? ABC is the industry leader of mission-critical systems. Without eyeballs, you will lack versioning. Think vertical. Think virtual. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably enable best-of-breed 24/7/365, granular implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We usually repurpose value-added e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be e-business? Without well-chosen data hygiene reports, networks are forced to become one-to-one. The ability to scale super-cyber-strategically leads to the ability to revolutionize efficiently. The accounting compliance factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be B2C? Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for handling unplanned-for bleeding-edge, infinitely reconfigurable initiatives?