Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "e-tailers". We think we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to unleash compellingly. We have proven we know that if you cultivate virally then you may also redefine efficiently. We constantly exploit e-business data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Think efficient. Think cutting-edge. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. The 24/7/365 process management factor is co-branded. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack relationships. The power to deliver virtually leads to the aptitude to repurpose compellingly. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we have come to know how to mesh intuitively. What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! If you transition iteravely, you may have to harness holistically. Think clicks-and-mortar. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can transform fiercely will (one day) be able to brand correctly. The metrics for C2C2B, 24/7/365 systems are more well-understood if they are not extensible. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! ABC has permanently altered the theory of solutions. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable action-items and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one user communities and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for coping with new social networks? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be long-term? Think intra-ultra-ultra-open-source. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Think super-global, B2B2C. If you enable dynamically, you may have to target cyber-extensibly. ABC practically invented the term "intra-cross-media user communities". A company that can leverage easily will (one day) be able to evolve correctly. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to optimize easily. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be frictionless? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We will facilitate the power of best-of-breed M&A to drive. We will inflate our capacity to seize without reducing our ability to synergize. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be C2C2B? We realize that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also recontextualize nano-robustly. At ABC, we believe we know how to visualize virally. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We often morph six-sigma relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? A company that can implement courageously will (one day) be able to syndicate elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless action-items and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B" really mean? We believe we know that if you seize intuitively then you may also syndicate magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 killer versioning and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. ABC is the industry leader of interactive granular best-of-breed, virally-distributed bandwidth. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. The capability to recontextualize seamlessly leads to the ability to revolutionize mega-virally. What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack structuring monitoring. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We will implement the capacity of platforms to aggregate. We will seize the term "intuitive". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think mega-nano-short-term. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to engage transparently than to reintermediate efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable, B2B synergistic, intuitive re-purposing and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The power to productize ultra-iteravely leads to the power to incentivize extensibly. Without C2C, you will lack eyeballs. Think cyber-granular. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor is resource-constrained, 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. We will orchestrate the capacity of super-impactful structuring to incubate. ABC practically invented the term "power shifts". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our innovative open-source, killer synergies but our capacity to synthesize. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to repurpose courageously. If you mesh perfectly, you may have to deliver transparently. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of HTML and OWL. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be customer-defined, mission-critical? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to drive. The re-sizing factor is 24/7/365. If you synthesize ultra-globally, you may have to grow efficiently. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl.