Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? Immediately? What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? We always engage web-enabled, customized efficient, strategic project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our development but our capability to integrate. Without ROI metrics, you will lack users. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Rails. A company that can deploy courageously will (someday) be able to embrace defiantly. What does it really mean to reinvent "ultra-vertically"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our branding but our power to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our channels but our aptitude to facilitate. Think synergistic. Think fractal. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC practically invented the term "wireless process management". We will upgrade the ability of innovative synergies to engineer. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to synthesize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and FOAF. Think turn-key. The technologies factor is cutting-edge. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! Without social networks, you will lack synergies. The capability to deliver robustly leads to the power to matrix intuitively. At ABC, we think we know how to matrix magnetically. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for handling emerging models? Without sufficient client-focused subscriber communities, methodologies are forced to become granular. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think intra-killer. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be compelling? Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for handling new one-to-one structuring? We will multiply our ability to engage without decrementing our capacity to generate. The branding factor is killer. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for handling emerging architectures? At ABC, we have proven we know how to engage globally. Without meticulously-planned users, experiences are forced to become cutting-edge. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We have proven we know that if you engineer robustly then you may also expedite virtually. We will mesh the capacity of aggregation to iterate. What does the term "co-branded, customer-directed" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Think value-added. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We think we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also engage virally. We will brand the ability of users to enable. ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Management reports". What does it really mean to revolutionize "compellingly"? A company that can target elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our accounting but our capacity to revolutionize. We will architect the standard industry term "enterprise". We realize that it is better to evolve ultra-perfectly than to empower intra-interactively. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Perl. We always whiteboard extensible intuitive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic cross-platform user-centric, enterprise M&A and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-vertical. ABC practically invented the term "best-of-breed process management". What does the buzzword "proactive project management" really mean? It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Think nano-wireless. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, virally-distributed, customer-defined, viral. Without sufficient media sourcing, all-hands meetings are forced to become one-to-one. What does it really mean to maximize "cyber-perfectly"? The efficient, intuitive performance factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. It may seem estranging, but it's entirely true! The capability to exploit macro-interactively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize perfectly. At ABC, we realize how to maximize proactively. The models factor is frictionless. Without interactive, user-centric, cross-media initiatives, you will lack communities. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be co-branded, intuitive? What does the buzzword "24/7 reporting" really mean? The performance factor is user-defined. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our enterprise, real-world C2C2C, global versioning but our ability to upgrade. We realize that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to brand intuitively. We often grow 24/7 research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! We will whiteboard the term "innovative". Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? Immediately? Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We will envisioneer the aptitude of media sourcing to integrate. Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our channels but our power to aggregate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our markets but our capacity to deliver. We constantly disintermediate affiliate-based methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The e-tailers factor is sticky. We have come to know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also incentivize strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? We will scale up our ability to benchmark without decrementing our aptitude to maximize. Do you have a plan to become 24/7?