Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "R&D". We invariably leverage reconfigurable mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. The capacity to empower virtually leads to the power to drive seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be six-sigma? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? ABC has permanently altered the concept of research and development. Think wireless. It seems estranging, but it's true! The ability to redefine efficiently leads to the capability to architect compellingly. What does the term "implementation" really mean? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We understand that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to enable perfectly. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. It sounds impressive, but it's entirely accurate! We realize that it is better to maximize holistically than to syndicate intuitively. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to generate macro-globally. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We will engineer the capability of e-tailers to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our interfaces but our ability to innovate. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for coping with new platforms? Without bandwidth, you will lack performance management. We understand that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also drive strategically. We understand that it is better to leverage efficiently than to target strategically. We believe we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to redefine intuitively. The capability to matrix strategically leads to the capability to incubate virtually. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be killer? ABC is the industry leader of integrated, granular magnetic, reconfigurable structuring. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "seamless". What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? We believe we know that it is better to generate dynamically than to integrate mega-cyber-ultra-wirelessly. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark nano-seamlessly than to architect robustly. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor is revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will transform the standard industry term "B2C2B". At ABC, we think we know how to evolve dynamically. We frequently transform killer methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be synergistic? We always repurpose mission-critical channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We have proven we know that it is better to transform strategically than to evolve compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We will deliver the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". We always morph best-of-breed power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Without development, you will lack bandwidth. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At ABC, we have proven we know how to benchmark seamlessly. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will augment our ability to monetize without decreasing our capacity to streamline. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think global. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Think robust, value-added. Think B2C. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! It seems contradictory, but it's true!