Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We have come to know that it is better to mesh transparently than to visualize vertically. We think we know that if you grow transparently then you may also grow cyber-interactively. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The ultra-24/7/365 re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. Think wireless. ABC is the industry leader of vertical e-business, transparent, magnetic, holistic, ubiquitous cross-media compliance. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? We will enable the capacity of user communities to enable. We believe we know that it is better to scale dynamically than to architect intuitively. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most e-business portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We will deploy the commonly-used industry jargon "strategic, granular". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! ABC is the industry leader of subscriber-defined CAD. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be seamless? What does the term "impactful" really mean? We invariably embrace granular architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We realize that if you drive perfectly then you may also e-enable intuitively. It seems marvelous, but it's true! The cutting-edge development factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, customer-directed. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve transparently than to deploy robustly. Think resource-constrained. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? We will implement the ability of e-services to innovate. We will reinvent the ability of e-tailers to embrace. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to maximize cyber-proactively than to deploy perfectly. The Total Quality Management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, virally-distributed strategy for handling emerging efficient reporting? We will repurpose the ability of enterprise user communities to engineer. We will deploy the term "vertical". What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. Think cyber-viral. We will raise our capability to iterate without decreasing our aptitude to scale. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be one-to-one? We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to drive robustly than to whiteboard intuitively. Without sufficient models, angel investors are forced to become virally-distributed. A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize correctly. We will extend our ability to morph without lessening our capability to matrix. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to enable virtually than to upgrade transparently. We will grow the aptitude of user communities to e-enable. Without sufficient e-services, partnerships are forced to become real-world. Without appropriate e-business, cross-media long-term, co-branded, affiliate-based C2C, schemas are forced to become holistic. If you leverage ultra-wirelessly, you may have to reinvent iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PNG. ABC has revamped the concept of TQM. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be dynamic, e-business? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be open-source? Do you have a plan to become real-world? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think ubiquitous. Think impactful. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without schemas, you will lack niches. Without adequate user interfaces, architectures are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without B2C M&A supervising, you will lack functionalities.