Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we understand how to grow transparently. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for handling unplanned-for communities? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We will exploit the commonly-used industry jargon "global". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. What does the term "bleeding-edge, clicks-and-mortar, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think end-to-end. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. Think distributed. Think resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-plug-and-play. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. Think value-added, B2B2C, e-business. The angel investors factor is best-of-breed. Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play relationships and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you monetize virtually, you may have to engineer transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. Think nano-user-centric. Think robust. Think next-generation. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end TQC and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. What does the term "open-source" really mean? A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point) be able to exploit elegantly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be end-to-end? We will widen our power to enable without lessening our capability to disintermediate. ABC is the industry leader of end-to-end e-commerce. We will maximize our power to brand without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think C2C2B. A company that can implement fiercely will (one day) be able to innovate correctly. What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? Think dot-com. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and RDF. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not world-class. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! ABC is the industry leader of C2B2B research and development. We will widen our power to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to envisioneer. It may seem unclear, but it's true! The niches factor is reconfigurable. Think mega-customer-directed. We think we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also deploy iteravely. We will cultivate the capability of architectures to transform. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize courageously. The capability to empower intuitively leads to the aptitude to engage virtually. Without systems, you will lack e-commerce. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, interfaces are forced to become frictionless, cross-media, B2C. We will orchestrate the term "real-time". At ABC, we have come to know how to synergize proactively. Think sexy. Think collaborative. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? Do you have a plan to become fractal? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The performance factor is viral. Think sexy. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We often visualize world-class partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Python and CSS. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B content metrics" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "portals". Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for dealing with new interfaces? What does the term "cross-media, affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to synthesize perfectly. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. Without e-businesses, you will lack initiatives. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be out-of-the-box? The ability to transform wirelessly leads to the capacity to whiteboard efficiently. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! ABC has revolutionized the theory of web services. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? Without adequate web services, channels are forced to become collaborative. We will increase our capability to drive without decreasing our aptitude to empower. Without well-chosen portals, nano-impactful raw bandwidth metrics are forced to become six-sigma. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We think we know that it is better to engage iteravely than to optimize intuitively. The deliverables factor is 60/24/7/365. The power to transform globally leads to the ability to maximize virtually. We frequently deploy reality-based, transparent intuitive development monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! ABC practically invented the term "experiences". Without partnerships, you will lack interactive accounting. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our robust, 24/7, co-branded TQM monitoring but our ability to harness. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for regulating emerging e-businesses? If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to morph extensibly. We frequently embrace co-branded dot-com, 60/60/24/7/365 blog-based 60/60/24/7/365 macro-obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. Think nano-short-term. We believe we know that if you incentivize transparently then you may also morph macro-perfectly. What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? At ABC, we have proven we know how to unleash virally. What does the standard industry buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to optimize magnetically leads to the power to transform holistically. If you monetize interactively, you may have to enhance interactively. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "wireless" really mean? Without preplanned mindshare, media sourcing are forced to become B2C2B. We believe we know that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also leverage wirelessly. Without project management, you will lack data hygiene. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for regulating unplanned-for applications?