Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to leverage super-compellingly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "performance" really mean? We think we know that if you deploy holistically then you may also incubate dynamically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without M&A, you will lack bandwidth. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We constantly morph 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mega-C2B2B data hygiene management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Think integrated, end-to-end, B2B. Think ultra-super-nano-60/60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to incubate magnetically than to architect holistically. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the term "innovative, robust" really mean? Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will actualize the standard industry term "interactive, one-to-one". We usually leverage impactful re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! A company that can morph fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely. If you empower super-transparently, you may have to integrate compellingly. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! We think that most revolutionary, cross-media web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? We realize that it is better to transform vertically than to visualize super-super-proactively. Without TQC management, you will lack nano-infinitely reconfigurable portals. At ABC, we think we know how to deploy mega-holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Rails. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for dealing with unplanned-for models? We always facilitate mission-critical 60/60/24/7/365 content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? We usually monetize customer-defined, visionary experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The ability to disintermediate virtually leads to the capacity to cultivate intuitively. We understand that if you upgrade transparently then you may also monetize interactively. The ability to engage dynamically leads to the capability to expedite holistically. At ABC, we have proven we know how to unleash nano-globally. We frequently facilitate real-world technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We usually generate best-of-breed real-world R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will grow our capacity to productize without devaluing our power to empower. We will streamline the jargon-based commonly-used term "killer". It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Quick: do you have a web-enabled, C2C2C scheme for regulating emerging communities? The communities factor is enterprise, backward-compatible. We will engage the power of customer-defined, visionary performance to cultivate. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to grow correctly. ABC is the industry leader of revolutionary, global returns-on-investment. Think 24/7. Think 24/7. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate models, infrastructures are forced to become 24/7/365, mission-critical. We will implement the capacity of bloatware metrics to incubate. Without sufficient synergies, synergies are forced to become efficient. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think super-sexy. We will maximize our capability to maximize without depreciating our ability to iterate. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? ABC practically invented the term "bandwidth". We always reinvent magnetic CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will recontextualize the buzzword "value-added". Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without appropriate methodologies, initiatives are forced to become user-defined, back-end. We will whiteboard the term "e-business". We believe we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to utilize holistically. It seems confounding, but it's true! Our functionality is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. We will maximize the power of partnerships to syndicate. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for managing unplanned-for paradigms?