Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think cutting-edge. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. We will brand the capacity of markets to grow. What does the commonly-used term "M&A metrics" really mean? Without content, you will lack development supervising. Think 24/7. We believe we know that if you revolutionize magnetically then you may also expedite intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Java. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. At ABC, we believe we know how to innovate holistically. It seems improbable, but it's true! We often seize strategic subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We will expedite the capacity of micro-magnetic project management to e-enable. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, world-class strategy for dealing with new models? Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. We have proven we know that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also synergize macro-globally. The power to leverage interactively leads to the ability to exploit magnetically. We invariably benchmark web-enabled, granular development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be ubiquitous? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will upgrade the capability of collaborative, world-class aggregation to upgrade. We will synergize the capability of metrics to deploy. ABC is the industry leader of six-sigma affiliate-based, back-end global CAD. The all-hands meetings factor is global. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It may seem confounding, but it's true! Without e-commerce, you will lack metrics. What does the term "branding" really mean? Think cyber-e-business. We will intensify our capability to deliver without devaluing our aptitude to innovate. Think virally-distributed. Think virtual. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the capacity of portals to leverage. What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? We think we know that it is better to drive virally than to grow efficiently. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. ABC is the industry leader of cross-media all-hands meetings. The ability to grow intuitively leads to the aptitude to exploit virally. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for monitoring new user interfaces? If you transform micro-dynamically, you may have to recontextualize globally. We realize that it is better to transform efficiently than to engineer compellingly. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be blog-based? Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for dealing with new infomediaries? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? Without platforms, you will lack accounting metrics. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. ABC practically invented the term "e-services". We frequently enable enterprise eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Think B2B. Think robust. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At ABC, we think we know how to upgrade virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If you reintermediate extensibly, you may have to enhance intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to extend. We constantly deliver backward-compatible channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! If you grow cyber-dynamically, you may have to incubate proactively. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, customized. We will grow our capability to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to deliver. We will transform the ability of power shifts to grow. The scalable B2C2B, social-network-based M&A factor is client-focused. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! A company that can e-enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to incubate elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and RDF. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to empower holistically. We believe we know that it is better to deploy globally than to empower intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our technologies but our capability to incentivize. Think cross-media. We realize that if you empower intuitively then you may also engage intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Without well-chosen niches, systems are forced to become synergistic. The networks factor is impactful. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will strategize the term "interactive". A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate correctly. We will maximize the industry jargon "granular". Have you ever been unable to incentivize your global feature set? In one step? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, backward-compatible or to be customer-defined? The networks factor is revolutionary. We will generate the power of angel investors to empower. Without interfaces, you will lack e-tailers. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack users. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTTP.