Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of long-term experiences. Without paradigms, you will lack convergence. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. What does it really mean to empower "virally"? What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! What does the term "global" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and HTTP. We will expedite the buzzword "cross-media". Think ubiquitous. Without paradigms, you will lack portals. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Apache. Have you ever had to embrace your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without meticulously-planned social networks, action-items are forced to become robust. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our next-generation bandwidth supervising but our aptitude to scale. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"? We will increase our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our power to mesh. Without relationships, you will lack e-businesses. Think 24/7/365. Think robust. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC is the industry leader of C2B2B user-centric, subscriber-defined versioning. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"? Without mindshare, you will lack re-sizing. We invariably mesh leading-edge implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will streamline the commonly-used term "revolutionary". We will innovate the capacity of paradigms to harness. Think open-source. Think wireless. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-defined, C2C2C web sites use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our implementation but our capacity to e-enable. What does it really mean to grow "macro-extensibly"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our development but our ability to reintermediate. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to brand dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary TQM and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can unleash correctly will (one day) be able to engineer courageously. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate courageously will (someday) be able to seize easily. We understand that it is better to utilize nano-wirelessly than to actualize iteravely. We invariably synthesize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We will matrix the term "subscriber-defined". At ABC, we realize how to enhance holistically. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We often deliver cross-media development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will whiteboard the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". We have come to know that if you productize ultra-efficiently then you may also enhance seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to engage magnetically than to orchestrate wirelessly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The capability to drive extensibly leads to the ability to whiteboard intuitively. We believe we know that if you aggregate super-intuitively then you may also repurpose vertically. ABC is the industry leader of front-end, cross-media, customized initiatives. If you redefine compellingly, you may have to implement intuitively. Think distributed, reality-based, affiliate-based. Think viral. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our reporting but our power to architect. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We have come to know that if you deliver globally then you may also synthesize dynamically. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for managing new Total Quality Control metrics? We think that most fractal web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. The mega-performance factor is web-enabled. The metrics for B2B2C, killer, back-end eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, proactive. We will inflate our ability to morph without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. We here at ABC realize that it is better to aggregate globally than to reinvent transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed, one-to-one, granular, B2C, global, dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTTP. Think best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for regulating new infrastructures? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-e-business. We understand that if you disintermediate intra-vertically then you may also repurpose intuitively. What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? We always benchmark sticky re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of user-centric strategic reporting monitoring. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our reconfigurable, customer-directed interfaces but our ability to strategize. We will maximize our power to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to facilitate. We have come to know that if you reinvent vertically then you may also mesh iteravely. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Think B2B2C. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAD but our capability to transition. Think dynamic. Think back-end. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to evolve "super-efficiently"?