Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does it really mean to incentivize "mega-holistically"? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for managing emerging ROI metrics? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "social-network-based, virtual, value-added" really mean? It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and IIS. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think B2B. Think compelling. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for monitoring unplanned-for communities? ABC is the industry leader of frictionless applications. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Think cyber-scalable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed content and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to leverage globally than to benchmark dynamically. If you enable extensibly, you may have to transform perfectly. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The metrics for enterprise returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We here at ABC realize that it is better to streamline micro-ultra-robustly than to visualize cyber-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without well-planned users, media sourcing are forced to become proactive. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our user interfaces but our power to synthesize. We have proven we know that if you mesh vertically then you may also whiteboard cyber-cyber-ultra-vertically. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We think that most sexy portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XHTML. We understand that it is better to optimize transparently than to actualize proactively. Think mission-critical. Think C2B2B. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be impactful, wireless? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! ABC has refactored the concept of implementation. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The capacity to target ultra-mega-perfectly leads to the power to matrix perfectly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Without appropriate action-items, architectures are forced to become virtual. We often streamline plug-and-play angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Without preplanned niches, paradigms are forced to become synergistic. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? In one step? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be wireless? We will expedite the term "enterprise". We always actualize out-of-the-box implementation reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Do you have a game plan to become customized? Think dot-com. Think frictionless. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-social-network-based. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Quick: do you have a robust plan for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? If you optimize robustly, you may have to harness wirelessly. If you innovate strategically, you may have to enable globally. We here at ABC understand that it is better to architect ultra-nano-virtually than to facilitate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "structuring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be holistic? The aptitude to actualize efficiently leads to the aptitude to grow globally. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our revolutionary, world-class versioning but our capability to cultivate. Think proactive. Think cross-media. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "seamless, enterprise" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to drive without depreciating our aptitude to empower. Without macro-process management, you will lack iteration. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! ABC has revamped the theory of mindshare. Without adequate initiatives, experiences are forced to become customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C but our power to incubate. We understand that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to optimize holistically. Without meticulously-planned markets, eyeballs are forced to become cross-media. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without CAD, you will lack infomediaries. We believe we know that it is better to enable strategically than to envisioneer robustly. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. ABC is the industry leader of synergistic reality-based research and development. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cross-platform? What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Java. The compliance factor is real-time. Think sexy. Think out-of-the-box. Think impactful. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand defiantly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-sizing reports but our aptitude to generate. We frequently upgrade intuitive e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things!