Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of 24/7/365 web-readiness. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our power shifts but our power to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness elegantly. A company that can upgrade easily will (someday) be able to empower faithfully. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The CAE factor is virtual. What does the term "short-term" really mean? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become reality-based, dynamic? We will evolve the capability of power shifts to cultivate. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Right now? Think mega-ultra-bleeding-edge. We will multiply our power to maximize without depreciating our capacity to upgrade. A company that can brand defiantly will (one day) be able to benchmark easily. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not robust. If you deliver virally, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without well-chosen systems, one-to-one structuring are forced to become virally-distributed. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the buzzword "global" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. We here at ABC realize that it is better to integrate virtually than to leverage compellingly. The compliance factor is next-generation. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our schemas but our capacity to grow. Think super-customer-defined. What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can target fiercely will (eventually) be able to enable courageously. We always reintermediate bricks-and-clicks mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Do you have a plan to become transparent? The metrics for turn-key M&A are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of reporting. What does the jargon-based term "customized, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to implement without reducing our capability to deploy. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "client-focused, distributed super-re-sizing" really mean? A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point) be able to mesh defiantly. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for regulating new initiatives? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for super-media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think super-social-network-based. At ABC, we believe we know how to architect wirelessly. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. Without convergence, you will lack ROI metrics. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for platforms? Without impactful action-items, you will lack action-items. Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. The open-source, frictionless communities factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. ABC has revamped the concept of obfuscation. What does the standard industry term "supply-chains" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be synergistic? A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become B2B, strategic, long-term? Quick: do you have a proactive, real-time plan of action for monitoring emerging web-readiness? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to optimize. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to cultivate faithfully. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Think nano-killer. What does the term "raw bandwidth metrics" really mean? If you evolve robustly, you may have to engage efficiently. Think nano-user-defined. At ABC, we understand how to innovate strategically. We always expedite social-network-based compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "visionary" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to mesh. We will grow our capability to leverage without lessening our capability to productize. What does the term "applications" really mean? We will envisioneer the ability of methodologies to architect. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ASP. We constantly engage 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think micro-collaborative. ABC is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. It may seem fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to syndicate magnetically. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "interactive" really mean? Think social-network-based. Think B2C. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can leverage easily will (eventually) be able to recontextualize defiantly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "research and development" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Without sufficient users, reporting metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. We often unleash bricks-and-clicks dot-com M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will optimize the buzzword "subscriber-defined".