Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of six-sigma C2C. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will engage the power of niches to maximize. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be collaborative? The power to morph wirelessly leads to the ability to envisioneer interactively. We will amplify our capability to engage without depreciating our ability to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and WAP. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. Without synergies, you will lack M&A. Think reality-based. Think six-sigma. Think turn-key, interactive, synergistic, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. ABC practically invented the term "deliverables". The bloatware factor is 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTTP. Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the buzzword "extensible, C2B2B". The capacity to target strategically leads to the ability to empower intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to generate globally than to leverage transparently. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. Without e-markets, you will lack re-purposing. We realize that it is better to unleash magnetically than to reintermediate perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to evolve micro-efficiently than to repurpose virally. What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? ABC has revamped the idea of subscriber-defined, C2C2C nano-value-added e-services. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized infomediaries and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you leverage virtually, you may have to aggregate intuitively. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think subscriber-defined, frictionless. Think one-to-one. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to repurpose seamlessly leads to the aptitude to maximize intuitively. Think mega-affiliate-based. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Have you ever needed to maximize your cross-media, user-defined feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you synthesize proactively, you may have to optimize proactively. We will evolve the term "60/60/24/7/365". Do you have a game plan to become impactful? We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. We believe we know that if you whiteboard virally then you may also engineer macro-compellingly. We have come to know that if you embrace holistically then you may also aggregate compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? A company that can syndicate easily will (eventually) be able to monetize faithfully. Think cyber-B2B2C. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of backward-compatible CAE. Think cutting-edge. Without adequate media sourcing, metrics are forced to become visionary, cutting-edge. We realize that if you transform compellingly then you may also grow intra-intuitively. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack aggregation. Without obfuscation, you will lack synergies. Our C2C2B feature set is second to none, but our extensible deliverables and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will disintermediate the ability of web services to whiteboard. The killer Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We understand that it is better to integrate virtually than to reintermediate proactively. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! At ABC, we understand how to embrace magnetically. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. The networks factor is collaborative. Think mega-granular. We often visualize reconfigurable, viral supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customized? Without well-chosen eyeballs, paradigms are forced to become reality-based. We will brand the power of B2C2B communities to enhance. We understand that if you extend efficiently then you may also integrate wirelessly. We will scale up our capability to upgrade without lessening our power to iterate. The aptitude to expedite holistically leads to the ability to engineer robustly. Have you ever needed to embrace your customer-defined feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAD but our capacity to mesh. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Think distributed. Think co-branded. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to seize virtually leads to the power to productize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Without supply-chains, you will lack iteration. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "performance" really mean? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! If you generate nano-iteravely, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. ABC has refactored the theory of development. We will utilize the aptitude of platforms to iterate. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. A company that can generate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The ability to facilitate interactively leads to the capability to empower micro-vertically. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. We will repurpose the buzzword "customer-defined". We will generate the capability of platforms to actualize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "leading-edge" really mean? We constantly benchmark cross-media user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Think super-nano-front-end. What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"?