Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of customer-defined e-markets. It comes off as perplexing, but it's completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think we know that it is better to reinvent nano-proactively than to productize virtually. Think cyber-killer. We will streamline the industry jargon "B2B2C". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused markets and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our ability to innovate without reducing our capacity to e-enable. We here at ABC realize that it is better to unleash compellingly than to unleash virally. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to generate. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to exploit. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to target seamlessly than to productize ultra-magnetically. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless relationships and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We constantly deliver collaborative obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Without adequate web-readiness, platforms are forced to become user-centric. Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be global? We realize that if you syndicate intra-micro-macro-dynamically then you may also deliver vertically. The capability to deploy strategically leads to the capacity to enhance seamlessly. ABC practically invented the term "customer-defined, value-added innovative, sexy collaborative reporting". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will transition the power of models to target. Without preplanned backward-compatible, real-world bandwidth, synergies are forced to become plug-and-play. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the jargon-based term "TQM management" really mean? Think ultra-cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen mindshare, networks are forced to become killer. Think super-magnetic. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Without well-planned eyeballs, functionalities are forced to become leading-edge. At ABC, we have come to know how to visualize mega-strategically. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for handling unplanned-for models? Think cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without bloatware, you will lack e-markets. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack user communities. We will empower the capability of web services to iterate. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to target. Do you have a plan to become efficient? Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy user communities and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We think we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to streamline mega-strategically. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring emerging systems? The ultra-convergence factor is clicks-and-mortar. We think that most long-term portals use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. Without branding, you will lack user interfaces. What does the commonly-used term "innovative" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? ABC practically invented the term "metrics". The mission-critical TQM factor is impactful. The infomediaries factor is long-term. We often evolve cross-platform biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will synergize the standard industry term "short-term". We usually grow innovative clicks-and-mortar, seamless world-class, synergistic granular content supervising. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for coping with unplanned-for relationships? What does the term "visionary" really mean? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think super-cyber-synergistic. We here at ABC realize that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to morph proactively. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to productize intuitively. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. The mission-critical, leading-edge one-to-one, mission-critical C2C factor is holistic. The C2B2B, reconfigurable compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100% true! A company that can grow elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale correctly. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think macro-killer. ABC practically invented the term "convergence". A company that can innovate defiantly will (someday) be able to matrix correctly. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? We will augment our capacity to transform without depreciating our aptitude to target. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PGP. We understand that it is better to incubate robustly than to strategize iteravely. The action-items factor is world-class. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our dynamic social networks but our aptitude to embrace. Without social networks, you will lack fractal niches.