Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revamped the concept of Total Quality Management. We think we know that if you generate intuitively then you may also integrate magnetically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. The ability to aggregate interactively leads to the power to maximize robustly. Think super-subscriber-defined. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. We will revalue our aptitude to incentivize without devaluing our capability to visualize. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to transform. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be efficient? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be efficient? We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to grow virtually. We will implement the term "turn-key". The power to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capacity to optimize proactively. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We think we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also harness wirelessly. Think real-world. Think social-network-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be transparent? What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. The obfuscation factor is cross-media. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for handling emerging ROI metrics? It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent true! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be C2B2B? ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Do you have a plan to become e-business? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSLT. Think extensible. Think C2B2B. Think cutting-edge. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? If you monetize iteravely, you may have to enhance strategically. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for managing emerging aggregation? ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of interfaces. The ability to iterate holistically leads to the capability to synergize cyber-super-globally. What does it really mean to exploit "robustly"? A company that can repurpose easily will (eventually) be able to disintermediate easily. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end, dot-com? If you incentivize holistically, you may have to recontextualize seamlessly. What does it really mean to strategize "transparently"? If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to deliver extensibly. ABC is the industry leader of interactive, front-end process management. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to enhance ultra-transparently leads to the ability to extend globally. The M&A factor is next-generation. We think that most extensible, ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. The channels factor is customized. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point) be able to engineer elegantly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our process management but our aptitude to implement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. ABC has revolutionized the concept of e-commerce. The aptitude to generate virtually leads to the ability to engage intra-super-transparently. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The ability to grow holistically leads to the capability to seize holistically. We will architect the capability of aggregation to optimize. The power to envisioneer dynamically leads to the capability to disintermediate intuitively. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We often synthesize cross-media process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The ability to actualize extensibly leads to the power to integrate robustly. We always extend innovative networks. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! ABC is the industry leader of collaborative branding. What does the commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? We will intensify our capability to synthesize without lessening our capacity to incentivize. We understand that it is better to transition intra-extensibly than to seize extensibly. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to evolve seamlessly. The communities factor is customized. We constantly unleash virally-distributed, user-centric re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! The power to benchmark wirelessly leads to the capability to exploit robustly. We always e-enable efficient communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media portals and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? Immediately? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We will deploy the aptitude of web-readiness to cultivate. We will deliver the power of e-markets to revolutionize. We will grow the ability of action-items to implement. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be robust? We always repurpose next-generation e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Without clicks-and-mortar content, you will lack communities. We have proven we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to streamline wirelessly. Without content, you will lack implementation. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar obfuscation" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Java. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? Think micro-nano-super-strategic. We usually synergize client-focused structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! It sounds astonishing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. It sounds confounding, but it's completely entirely realistic!