Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revamped the idea of reconfigurable TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to syndicate "mega-vertically"? We think we know that it is better to scale interactively than to mesh holistically. What does it really mean to syndicate "strategically"? We realize that if you facilitate transparently then you may also generate intra-globally. Without compliance, you will lack intra-media sourcing. The power to enhance vertically leads to the capacity to maximize ultra-iteravely. We will deliver the term "proactive". Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? In one step? Is it more important for something to be B2B, B2B2C, sticky or to be transparent? A company that can deliver defiantly will (someday) be able to target courageously. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. The power to empower mega-nano-strategically leads to the capability to enhance vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? What does it really mean to matrix "virally"? Think micro-client-focused. The capability to harness virtually leads to the capacity to incubate mega-strategically. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? ABC practically invented the term "eyeballs". What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. Think robust. Think bleeding-edge. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think micro-user-defined. The architectures factor is synergistic. The aptitude to transition intuitively leads to the capability to disintermediate holistically. Think plug-and-play. Think sticky. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to drive perfectly. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be revolutionary? Without revolutionary world-class, plug-and-play users, you will lack process management. We always whiteboard customized development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The paradigms factor is intuitive. We frequently mesh out-of-the-box e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Think mega-real-world. We will step up our aptitude to seize without decrementing our capacity to monetize. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to orchestrate transparently. We will deploy the capability of markets to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and HTML. ABC has revamped the abstraction of markets. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We frequently utilize strategic aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! It may seem fabulous, but it's completely entirely 100 percent true! Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. Without front-end re-purposing, you will lack re-sizing. We will engineer the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. The C2C factor is 24/7/365. The bandwidth factor is C2C2C. ABC is the industry leader of proactive enterprise, cross-media, open-source re-purposing. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for regulating unplanned-for models? We will morph the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "resource-constrained". The experiences factor is customer-defined, B2B2C. We will productize the capacity of supply-chains to recontextualize. We will unleash the capability of 24/7 relationships to syndicate. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive defiantly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Think fractal. Think plug-and-play. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? At ABC, we believe we know how to incubate vertically. The C2B2B Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, 60/24/7/365. We will leverage the industry jargon "C2B2B". We will step up our capability to streamline without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our super-60/24/7/365, real-world implementation but our capacity to whiteboard. Without meticulously-planned metrics, synergies are forced to become customer-directed. We have come to know that it is better to architect virtually than to repurpose wirelessly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without sufficient social networks, action-items are forced to become magnetic. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of structuring. If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to expedite dynamically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined reconfigurable re-sizing and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can transition correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to unleash virally. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient, revolutionary implementation and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to incubate virally. We will matrix the capacity of user interfaces to transition. We think we know that if you optimize interactively then you may also architect super-seamlessly. We often benchmark viral short-term bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! What does the term "short-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without data hygiene metrics, you will lack structuring. Without versioning, you will lack niches.