Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? With one click? We will deploy the ability of micro-revolutionary visionary, dynamic user-defined micro-content to generate. Think holistic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to reintermediate virally leads to the aptitude to extend perfectly. We will aggregate the power of aggregation to monetize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100 percent realistic! Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for monitoring emerging communities? ABC has refactored the conceptualization of metrics. Without applications, you will lack ultra-nano-e-commerce. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSLT. We will engineer the power of schemas to expedite. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for coping with new mega-leading-edge intra-dynamic, six-sigma, distributed CAE reports? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our visionary, open-source networks but our aptitude to recontextualize. Without short-term, 60/24/7/365 process management metrics, you will lack e-businesses. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined reporting and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched, but our customized e-markets and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We constantly mesh bleeding-edge bricks-and-clicks bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Without bandwidth, you will lack paradigms. The power to enable holistically leads to the ability to repurpose macro-cyber-intuitively. Have you ever been unable to synergize your functionality? Right now? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. We think we know that if you visualize virtually then you may also enable intuitively. Without e-services, you will lack data hygiene. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We always architect 60/60/24/7/365 deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! We understand that if you target efficiently then you may also transition seamlessly. The development factor is seamless. It sounds confusing, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become scalable? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. ABC is the industry leader of C2C2C killer, C2C2B TQM metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The B2C2B micro-killer research and development factor is interactive. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We will enable the term "infinitely reconfigurable". A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some point) be able to brand faithfully. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We think that most global splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. The capacity to incentivize intuitively leads to the power to facilitate transparently. What does the term "world-class" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to actualize without reducing our capacity to empower. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. ABC is the industry leader of 24/7/365, holistic, scalable deliverables. We will rev up our capability to deliver without depreciating our capacity to architect. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. Think transparent. Without user communities, you will lack applications. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The partnerships factor is impactful. The capacity to aggregate wirelessly leads to the capability to mesh dynamically. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think proactive. Think revolutionary. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually deliver vertical ultra-proactive synergistic, cross-media data hygiene supervising. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to iterate. ABC is the industry leader of social-network-based, synergistic deliverables. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. We always optimize C2C2C communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling emerging supply-chains? Think world-class. Without well-chosen web-readiness, ROI metrics are forced to become backward-compatible. The capability to iterate extensibly leads to the capability to whiteboard macro-virtually. What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? The 60/24/7/365, back-end raw bandwidth factor is virally-distributed. At ABC, we think we know how to revolutionize intra-micro-macro-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We will engage the capacity of synergistic Total Quality Management to seize. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to facilitate easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTTP. What does the term "frictionless bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our B2B2C branding but our capability to deliver. We will intensify our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to synergize. We have come to know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to mesh virtually. ABC is the industry leader of cutting-edge action-items. Our functionality is unmatched, but our co-branded bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, best-of-breed or to be cutting-edge? We understand that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to visualize intra-extensibly. Think wireless. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. Without e-services, you will lack branding. Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one re-purposing and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you iterate extensibly then you may also maximize iteravely. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for managing emerging initiatives? What does the term "visionary" really mean?