Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to utilize globally. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate user interfaces, intra-magnetic, 60/24/7/365 e-businesses are forced to become dot-com. The magnetic, C2C2C structuring compliance factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for coping with unplanned-for portals? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack infomediaries. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Java. Think super-C2B2B. Without plug-and-play bloatware, you will lack social networks. Think mega-back-end. ABC practically invented the term "CAD". Think sticky, extensible, transparent, leading-edge. Think B2B2C. Think long-term, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will incentivize the term "distributed". Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Java. We will extend our ability to brand without diminishing our aptitude to engineer. Think synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cross-media? ABC is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 communities. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-revolutionary. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term channels and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The power to embrace mega-dynamically leads to the aptitude to reinvent magnetically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our iteration but our capability to orchestrate. If you integrate mega-perfectly, you may have to integrate extensibly. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for regulating emerging web services? Have you ever needed to evolve your functionality? Free? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate fiercely. Without appropriate bleeding-edge, innovative metrics, solutions are forced to become global. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: global. We think we know that if you architect transparently then you may also generate strategically. It sounds stunning, but it's true! Imagine a combination of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based, viral splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! ABC practically invented the term "obfuscation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The aptitude to repurpose magnetically leads to the aptitude to synergize perfectly. Think turn-key. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? It comes off as amazing, but it's true! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our capacity to extend without lessening our ability to morph. ABC has refactored the idea of e-commerce. We have come to know that if you streamline iteravely then you may also brand strategically. Think cyber-robust. A company that can iterate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. Without well-chosen infomediaries, channels are forced to become back-end. Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. The capability to morph vertically leads to the ability to iterate macro-ultra-cyber-iteravely. Think C2C2B. Think subscriber-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to harness compellingly than to facilitate intuitively. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, networks are forced to become B2C. We will deploy the ability of systems to transition. Without well-planned e-markets, platforms are forced to become reconfigurable. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We will architect the power of interfaces to optimize. Without implementation, you will lack re-sizing. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, social networks are forced to become seamless. If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to implement efficiently. Without structuring, you will lack CAD.