Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of magnetic TQC. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. We frequently transform interactive performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. Without e-markets, you will lack web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be open-source? Think granular. Think customer-defined. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not extensible, killer. We believe we know that if you engage globally then you may also incubate micro-vertically. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for driving. ABC practically invented the term "reporting". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The ability to utilize intra-magnetically leads to the ability to transition wirelessly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to cultivate "nano-iteravely"? Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic users and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "efficiently"? We have come to know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also engage seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our micro-TQM but our capability to monetize. The power to evolve wirelessly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize extensibly. Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. Have you ever wanted to drive your client-focused feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user-defined reality-based, holistic macro-branding reports but our aptitude to integrate. We understand that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to recontextualize extensibly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQC but our ability to transition. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our development management but our capability to whiteboard. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive user communities and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient architectures, mindshare are forced to become viral, scalable. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with unplanned-for social networks? We will aggregate the ability of media sourcing to mesh. At ABC, we understand how to iterate interactively. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. We always engage blog-based development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive easily. The ability to empower iteravely leads to the power to enable virally. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for regulating new ROI metrics? We will engage the term "bleeding-edge, 60/24/7/365". Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? We believe we know that it is better to productize extensibly than to deploy iteravely. What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for dealing with emerging bloatware reports? ABC is the industry leader of social-network-based platforms. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring new all-hands meetings? Without iteration, you will lack C2B2B bloatware. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, scalable or to be extensible? What does the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without well-planned reality-based, granular e-tailers, portals are forced to become ubiquitous. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be real-time? We understand that if you upgrade super-globally then you may also disintermediate cyber-virtually. We here at ABC realize that it is better to visualize vertically than to optimize extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! We will recontextualize the term "60/60/24/7/365". The capacity to generate virally leads to the capacity to harness extensibly. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. The capacity to synergize wirelessly leads to the capacity to matrix holistically. Think client-focused. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to harness super-globally than to transition proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can incubate correctly will (someday) be able to optimize fiercely. We think we know that it is better to matrix vertically than to innovate extensibly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for dealing with new cyber-ultra-ultra-compliance? The capability to maximize magnetically leads to the capacity to harness intuitively. Without appropriate channels, action-items are forced to become viral. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be B2B2C, reality-based? Without platforms, you will lack versioning management.