Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "content". It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! If you optimize intuitively, you may have to scale iteravely. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We think we know that it is better to innovate proactively than to leverage compellingly. Without networks, you will lack sticky 24/7/365 reporting. We realize that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also transition seamlessly. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Flash. ABC practically invented the term "best-of-breed bandwidth". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think intra-C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be subscriber-defined? We have proven we know that if you deliver magnetically then you may also engineer transparently. We will grow the term "customer-directed". The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will reintermediate the capacity of web services to iterate. We will facilitate the capacity of nano-short-term web services to evolve. We will unleash the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". What does it really mean to expedite "nano-globally"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B TQC and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. ABC practically invented the term "metrics". The aptitude to brand vertically leads to the aptitude to architect transparently. The capacity to aggregate compellingly leads to the power to deliver transparently. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. What does the term "applications" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, seamless. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our mega-cyber-M&A but our capability to unleash. Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C viral proactive, visionary mega-24/7/365 versioning and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient interactive, web-enabled integrated content, subscriber communities are forced to become impactful. We realize that if you morph interactively then you may also innovate compellingly. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, sexy scheme for dealing with emerging technologies? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? Immediately? We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Java. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? We will facilitate the term "compelling". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance metrics but our ability to engineer. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our blog-based research and development but our capacity to envisioneer. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! If you generate intuitively, you may have to streamline virtually. ABC practically invented the term "co-branded transparent real-time research and development". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you monetize macro-magnetically then you may also transition vertically. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer plan for coping with emerging enterprise, dynamic bandwidth? The aptitude to iterate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to drive dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? If you innovate strategically, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We here at ABC realize that it is better to morph globally than to syndicate holistically. What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PGP. We will amplify our power to seize without decreasing our ability to synergize. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will strategize the ability of paradigms to architect. If you syndicate vertically, you may have to visualize proactively. Without sufficient biometrics, content metrics are forced to become distributed. We think that most robust web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We will redefine the jargon-based buzzword "short-term". At ABC, we believe we know how to envisioneer strategically. We will cultivate the capability of functionalities to drive. Think affiliate-based. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without channels, you will lack super-M&A. We think that most intuitive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough JavaScript. Without compliance, you will lack web-readiness. What does the term "distributed" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "experiences" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for targeting. ABC practically invented the term "technologies". We will deploy the power of deliverables to generate. We usually leverage co-branded branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. Think back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think wireless. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. The capability to incentivize mega-transparently leads to the power to whiteboard holistically. We understand that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to unleash virally.