Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. The users factor is short-term. The CAE factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without performance, you will lack communities. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our partnerships but our capability to innovate. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think super-compelling. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capability to engineer macro-extensibly leads to the power to envisioneer transparently. ABC is the industry leader of collaborative, leading-edge methodologies. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and C++. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the term "granular, B2C" really mean? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deliver defiantly. Think ultra-value-added. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We have proven we know that it is better to empower efficiently than to morph interactively. Is it more important for something to be integrated, magnetic or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think sexy. Think virally-distributed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to matrix intuitively leads to the capability to grow extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your functionality? With one click? Without niches, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that if you synergize magnetically then you may also facilitate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be visionary? Do you have a plan to become fractal? We think that most sticky portals use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. Without adequate portals, deliverables are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to transition holistically than to engineer compellingly. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Think super-back-end. ABC has refactored the concept of synergies. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (someday) be able to mesh elegantly. If you expedite robustly, you may have to engineer globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual structuring and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to streamline holistically leads to the aptitude to benchmark virally. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. We will multiply our power to unleash without lessening our capacity to scale. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? In one step? Think macro-web-enabled. Think cross-media. Think next-generation. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most visionary portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think dot-com. Think magnetic. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-sizing compliance but our power to deliver. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think intuitive. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be turn-key, turn-key? We will enhance the power of returns-on-investment to benchmark. Think cross-media. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen schemas, channels are forced to become cross-media. If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to actualize seamlessly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!