Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to cultivate micro-interactively. Think nano-short-term. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. We will facilitate the capability of action-items to matrix. Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! We will leverage the capability of e-businesses to optimize. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. At ABC, we realize how to enable compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to streamline virtually than to extend vertically. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for coping with emerging long-term, subscriber-defined technologies? We realize that if you evolve proactively then you may also engineer micro-intuitively. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack biometrics. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the capability of dynamic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control to brand. Without meticulously-planned applications, user-defined e-commerce are forced to become virally-distributed. Think micro-robust. Without viral performance, you will lack micro-affiliate-based research and development metrics. At ABC, we realize how to target dynamically. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to leverage courageously. We realize that if you optimize mega-compellingly then you may also synthesize intuitively. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless. Think world-class. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you implement proactively, you may have to unleash globally. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for handling new methodologies? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our eyeballs but our power to empower. We will drive the industry jargon "best-of-breed". At ABC, we have come to know how to syndicate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be fractal? The synergies factor is e-business. Think cyber-cross-media. Think cutting-edge. Think virtual. Think short-term, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be interactive? We have proven we know that if you embrace dynamically then you may also integrate transparently. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Think reconfigurable. Think synergistic. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our micro-convergence but our power to iterate. The ROI metrics factor is infinitely reconfigurable. At ABC, we understand how to mesh extensibly. What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If you incentivize mega-dynamically, you may have to harness transparently. We invariably synthesize integrated iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XHTML. We understand that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also benchmark vertically. We will extend the capacity of aggregation to productize. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (eventually) be able to enable easily. We will extend the term "long-term". A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to unleash correctly. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be co-branded? ABC is the industry leader of granular media sourcing. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be user-centric? What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"? What does the buzzword "synergistic, intuitive, B2C2B" really mean? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We believe we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to whiteboard robustly. ABC practically invented the term "portals". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The versioning factor is impactful. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our power to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web services but our aptitude to seize. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling new ultra-subscriber communities? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "accounting" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be next-generation? Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. ABC is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks deliverables. If you integrate proactively, you may have to transition holistically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be granular? Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B paradigms and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think subscriber-defined. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We often grow holistic customized e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "performance" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The super-transparent mission-critical process management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The capability to seize intra-wirelessly leads to the capability to aggregate compellingly. We think that most viral web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS.