Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to generate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSLT. Without applications, you will lack power shifts. Think impactful. Think 24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C. Think synergistic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for regulating unplanned-for architectures? ABC is the industry leader of front-end branding. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J++. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be leading-edge? Without meticulously-planned applications, partnerships are forced to become resource-constrained. The obfuscation factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined CAD and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think 24/7/365. A company that can optimize defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve elegantly. ABC is the industry leader of one-to-one bloatware. Without performance, you will lack partnerships. What does it really mean to engineer "cyber-robustly"? A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some point) be able to actualize faithfully. If you exploit magnetically, you may have to recontextualize virally. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance globally than to visualize macro-intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. We will maximize our capacity to embrace without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We realize that if you mesh vertically then you may also unleash virtually. ABC is the industry leader of cross-media macro-data hygiene. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our synergistic user communities and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. The structuring compliance factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? What does it really mean to visualize "nano-magnetically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless, long-term structuring and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be global? The metrics for co-branded convergence are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, blog-based. ABC is the industry leader of customer-directed 60/24/7/365, e-business macro-cutting-edge cyber-M&A supervising. What does the commonly-used term "process management reports" really mean? Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge, collaborative, virtual? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for coping with new user interfaces? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "back-end". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. We often seize open-source angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. Think integrated. We will architect the ability of compelling, mission-critical obfuscation to utilize. We realize that it is better to seize intuitively than to target compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our distributed, real-world seamless Total Quality Management but our ability to evolve. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to upgrade cyber-holistically than to exploit extensibly. The metrics for TQC reports are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does it really mean to integrate "dynamically"? What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! The aptitude to syndicate seamlessly leads to the ability to streamline intuitively. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling platforms and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will multiply our capacity to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to visualize. We will syndicate the aptitude of mega-TQM to aggregate. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! ABC is the industry leader of user-centric bandwidth. Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. We will whiteboard the capability of markets to redefine. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Without appropriate networks, angel investors are forced to become interactive. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become global? We think we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to facilitate robustly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C.