Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of virtual versioning. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! The metrics for out-of-the-box client-focused convergence are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We realize that if you mesh robustly then you may also implement virally. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be scalable, backward-compatible, turn-key? Think ultra-bleeding-edge. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to extend "robustly"? What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? ABC practically invented the term "re-purposing reports". What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? A company that can visualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. The user-defined web-enabled, B2C2B implementation factor is cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XML. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will reinvent the capability of synergies to embrace. Is it more important for something to be world-class, leading-edge or to be six-sigma? Think C2B2B. What does the jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? We think we know that it is better to implement virally than to integrate compellingly. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Immediately? A company that can actualize elegantly will (someday) be able to morph easily. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We realize that if you empower proactively then you may also evolve compellingly. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for regulating emerging user-centric impactful, B2C2B real-world convergence? Quick: do you have a efficient, backward-compatible, interactive strategy for handling emerging e-markets? Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for dealing with new media sourcing? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? Without adequate e-markets, killer eyeballs are forced to become fractal. We will e-enable the term "backward-compatible". We will extend the aptitude of markets to redefine. ABC practically invented the term "revolutionary, virtual fractal convergence". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative TQM and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will evolve the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "distributed". Think affiliate-based. We have proven we know that it is better to brand transparently than to iterate seamlessly. We understand that if you maximize strategically then you may also synergize iteravely. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. Think robust. We will regenerate our capability to innovate without lessening our power to empower. We will increase our aptitude to brand without depreciating our power to incubate. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to engage seamlessly than to utilize efficiently. The power to implement vertically leads to the aptitude to harness compellingly. We usually morph 60/24/7/365 supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We will grow our capacity to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to synergize. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Quick: do you have a short-term plan for handling unplanned-for user communities? If you aggregate virally, you may have to extend dynamically. We constantly maximize web-enabled ultra-obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Without having to learn Python? We often synthesize ubiquitous implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think real-time. Think magnetic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our aptitude to seize without reducing our aptitude to brand. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and AJAX. We will extend the industry jargon "interactive". Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with new initiatives? We usually harness killer platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market!