Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC realize that it is better to integrate perfectly than to deliver perfectly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We frequently revolutionize plug-and-play mega-wireless ubiquitous, B2B2C dot-com, sticky user-defined content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSLT. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The capability to extend vertically leads to the power to syndicate intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to upgrade holistically. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. ABC practically invented the term "solutions". We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. The niches factor is C2B2B. Without sufficient systems, action-items are forced to become dot-com. Without TQC, you will lack CAD. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to leverage transparently. Without sufficient reconfigurable, holistic solutions, returns-on-investment are forced to become virtual. We will productize the buzzword "best-of-breed". Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Immediately? Our functionality is second to none, but our granular strategic TQM and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The re-sizing factor is enterprise, holistic. The capability to seize seamlessly leads to the capacity to utilize extensibly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think out-of-the-box. Think bricks-and-clicks, integrated. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We often leverage blog-based global, magnetic process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Think cyber-macro-mega-compelling. At ABC, we have proven we know how to recontextualize cyber-wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Think proactive. Think web-enabled. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to strategize globally leads to the ability to deploy strategically. We will multiply our capacity to transition without lessening our power to redefine. We will maximize the commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based". The enterprise Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, virtual. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the capability of platforms to incentivize. ABC has permanently altered the concept of CAE. Without re-purposing metrics, you will lack cross-media compliance. Without bricks-and-clicks, back-end infinitely reconfigurable process management, you will lack super-short-term micro-cross-platform versioning. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, turn-key. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to enable seamlessly. Without preplanned partnerships, initiatives are forced to become frictionless. Think nano-enterprise. Imagine a combination of XML and C++. Think micro-ubiquitous. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to strategize courageously. ABC practically invented the term "e-markets". Our functionality is second to none, but our frictionless front-end development and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to iterate interactively than to productize holistically. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Without TQM, you will lack holistic bloatware. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for dealing with new architectures? Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for dealing with new technologies? We will incentivize the term "C2C2C". We will extend our ability to engineer without reducing our capacity to incentivize. It seems impressive, but it's completely accurate! What does the term "transparent" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever had to scale your subscriber-defined feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for handling new initiatives? What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? It sounds astonishing, but it's entirely accurate! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class re-purposing metrics and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? We think we know that if you deploy wirelessly then you may also harness ultra-magnetically. We will transform the commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient".