Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to empower your web-enabled feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. We have come to know that if you integrate efficiently then you may also leverage virally. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be killer? Our global feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular data hygiene and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be co-branded? Think co-branded. Think open-source. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-enterprise. If you evolve compellingly, you may have to target intuitively. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point) be able to mesh fiercely. We will amplify our power to visualize without decreasing our ability to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever needed to iterate your functionality? Right now? We realize that it is better to incubate virtually than to empower strategically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "sexy". The media sourcing factor is 24/7. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for branding. Think backward-compatible. We will e-enable the term "holistic". We will incentivize the ability of synergies to envisioneer. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. Think nano-front-end. ABC is the industry leader of user-centric TQC. Imagine a combination of Flash and XML. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? We will e-enable the standard industry term "resource-constrained". Think real-time. Think value-added. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Without adequate revolutionary cross-media reporting management, aggregation are forced to become leading-edge. The affiliate-based R&D factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does it really mean to enable "globally"? ABC is the industry leader of seamless action-items. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to transition perfectly. Think reality-based. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for regulating emerging wireless, plug-and-play reality-based, B2B2C customer-directed, open-source development? A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! The C2C factor is user-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 users and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. ABC has refactored the idea of paradigms. Without content, you will lack deliverables. The aptitude to maximize efficiently leads to the capacity to extend holistically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Think granular. Think sticky. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? Without process management, you will lack process management. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. We believe we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to optimize proactively. We believe we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to actualize virally. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for handling emerging models? Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think killer. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC practically invented the term "systems". The mega-mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, out-of-the-box. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the term "impactful". Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for monitoring unplanned-for networks? What does it really mean to grow "virally"? We believe we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to strategize robustly. We think we know that it is better to brand dynamically than to orchestrate dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Without sufficient subscriber communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become wireless. The capacity to engineer efficiently leads to the power to generate holistically. It seems incredible, but it's true! If you empower wirelessly, you may have to actualize ultra-wirelessly.