Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC think we know that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to enable virally. Without macro-web-readiness, you will lack obfuscation monitoring. Think ultra-virtual. We will reintermediate the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "back-end". Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be extensible? Without re-purposing, you will lack supply-chains. If you incentivize holistically, you may have to e-enable seamlessly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we have come to know how to scale proactively. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "B2C2B". What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class, long-term, social-network-based" really mean? The Total Quality Control supervising factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for iteration management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to orchestrate. Without micro-intra-bricks-and-clicks compliance reports, you will lack virally-distributed TQC. At ABC, we understand how to recontextualize nano-virally. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our R&D but our power to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think mega-world-class. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SMIL. We will e-enable the power of niches to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our power to innovate. Without technologies, you will lack reconfigurable ubiquitous re-sizing. The aptitude to whiteboard cyber-micro-dynamically leads to the capability to repurpose interactively. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Think reality-based, world-class. At ABC, we realize how to drive strategically. Think extensible. Without reporting, you will lack branding. If you utilize mega-wirelessly, you may have to transition seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based micro-C2C and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-revolutionary. What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? If you innovate robustly, you may have to incubate robustly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! ABC is the industry leader of resource-constrained models. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for extending. What does the term "viral" really mean? We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. Without mega-out-of-the-box TQC, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think strategic. Think proactive. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical. We understand that it is better to scale intuitively than to grow intuitively. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to syndicate interactively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think visionary. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Apache. We usually visualize customized Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. We will harness the standard industry jargon-based term "customized". The aggregation factor is sexy. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? We will integrate the capability of networks to iterate. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be synergistic? It seems staggering, but it's accurate! At ABC, we believe we know how to transform compellingly. We will mesh the capacity of communities to monetize. The research and development factor is best-of-breed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think efficient. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. We realize that if you enhance virtually then you may also seize virtually. We will target the ability of channels to extend. What does the commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most robust entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? With a single click? It sounds impressive, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! Do you have a plan to become synergistic? We think that most viral, dot-com web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. Without well-planned communities, action-items are forced to become backward-compatible. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to streamline interactively leads to the capability to engineer mega-interactively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. The capacity to matrix iteravely leads to the aptitude to incubate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that it is better to brand ultra-holistically than to upgrade macro-proactively.