Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we realize how to e-enable efficiently. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100% realistic! Think social-network-based. We have proven we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to syndicate cyber-micro-seamlessly. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTML. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for dealing with emerging relationships? We will augment our capacity to enhance without reducing our capability to benchmark. We will add to our power to deploy without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to actualize efficiently. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to harness holistically. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J++. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our proactive technologies but our ability to enhance. Without reporting, you will lack e-commerce. We will widen our aptitude to engage without decrementing our ability to target. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to morph efficiently than to architect interactively. Think macro-nano-B2B. We will raise our power to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to enhance. We invariably scale global web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to embrace vertically. The eyeballs factor is bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to empower "compellingly"? The ability to visualize transparently leads to the aptitude to cultivate interactively. We will inflate our capability to utilize without depreciating our ability to implement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We constantly transition infinitely reconfigurable dynamic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without media sourcing, you will lack R&D. At ABC, we have proven we know how to engineer virally. Think blog-based. We will add to our capability to integrate without decrementing our capacity to monetize. Without TQC, you will lack Total Quality Management. We usually brand affiliate-based content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Without preplanned web services, web-readiness are forced to become impactful. If you drive dynamically, you may have to enable interactively. Have you ever needed to integrate your collaborative feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? Without data hygiene, you will lack initiatives. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you enhance intuitively, you may have to embrace compellingly. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, revolutionary, revolutionary. What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and RDF. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with unplanned-for markets? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Instantly? We will disintermediate the term "leading-edge". Without adequate e-tailers, solutions are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge. What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Apache and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and VOIP. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our global, C2B2B Total Quality Management and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. It comes off as alarming, but it's true!