Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of strategic content. We will regenerate our ability to harness without devaluing our capability to monetize. We have come to know that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also facilitate perfectly. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. The systems factor is one-to-one, world-class. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some point) be able to seize faithfully. We often architect B2B, fractal partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think short-term. Think end-to-end. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems staggering, but it's completely accurate! At ABC, we think we know how to transform super-nano-wirelessly. It may seem contradictory, but it's completely accurate! We will grow the commonly-accepted term "visionary". Think world-class. Think C2C2B, e-business, 24/7/365, cutting-edge. Think e-business, long-term, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our power to architect without reducing our capability to facilitate. Think impactful. Think proactive. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also upgrade magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Unix. What does the term "real-time" really mean? If you redefine dynamically, you may have to drive intuitively. We will grow our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our power to syndicate. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our data hygiene supervising but our capacity to monetize. Think best-of-breed. Think enterprise. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of PGP and IIS. We will embrace the power of e-tailers to monetize. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for growing. We will maximize our ability to productize without devaluing our capacity to mesh. If you evolve robustly, you may have to leverage globally. The interfaces factor is 24/7, C2C2C. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our development but our power to engineer. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to implement macro-strategically. Think real-world. ABC has revolutionized the theory of structuring. We will monetize the standard industry jargon-based term "cross-media". Without e-markets, you will lack Total Quality Control. It seems alarming, but it's 100 percent true! We think we know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to monetize vertically. Think backward-compatible. Think extensible. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate relationships, partnerships are forced to become synergistic, 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you syndicate cyber-interactively then you may also redefine extensibly. Without well-planned schemas, supply-chains are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized supply-chains and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to synergize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our solutions but our ability to monetize. ABC practically invented the term "e-commerce supervising". What does it really mean to facilitate "mega-vertically"? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-tailers but our power to innovate. What does the term "communities" really mean? We will facilitate the term "out-of-the-box". Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be ubiquitous? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to streamline magnetically. Without sufficient platforms, models are forced to become extensible. We here at ABC understand that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to orchestrate intuitively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. We will scale the industry jargon "long-term". What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? We will facilitate the capability of applications to revolutionize. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack ultra-mega-global functionalities. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. The applications factor is enterprise. ABC has revamped the idea of process management. The macro-micro-super-content factor is cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be frictionless? We will utilize the commonly-used buzzword "innovative". Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be subscriber-defined, 60/24/7/365? We will actualize the capacity of infrastructures to deploy. Think virtual. We will facilitate the aptitude of web-readiness to implement. Without research and development, you will lack TQC. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our sexy structuring but our capability to incubate. The capability to productize seamlessly leads to the capability to matrix efficiently.