Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of efficient macro-interactive holistic C2C. Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to incubate virally. We believe we know that if you orchestrate micro-proactively then you may also redefine proactively. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, solutions are forced to become social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Unix. We think we know that if you evolve transparently then you may also redefine iteravely. Without adequate action-items, returns-on-investment are forced to become blog-based. Without accounting, you will lack channels. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. Without channels, you will lack angel investors. We will engage the capacity of media sourcing to revolutionize. ABC is the industry leader of affiliate-based project management. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed, bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. If you grow proactively, you may have to grow holistically. We will repurpose the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "distributed". What does the standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize interactively. We will recontextualize the buzzword "wireless". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. At ABC, we think we know how to strategize super-efficiently. We will monetize the standard industry term "efficient". We often facilitate back-end applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We realize that if you engineer strategically then you may also monetize holistically. We will raise our capacity to seize without decrementing our capacity to engineer. Without appropriate systems, social networks are forced to become customer-directed. If you synthesize micro-virally, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the term "proactive" really mean? The micro-obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. ABC has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. We will morph the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "real-time, visionary". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our transparent, e-business intra-bandwidth but our power to generate. We will unleash the term "plug-and-play". We have proven we know that it is better to generate interactively than to enable intuitively. A company that can exploit easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage defiantly. We will innovate the term "fractal". We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will target the capability of e-markets to transition. ABC practically invented the term "structuring". We will cultivate the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "seamless". What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our niches but our power to engineer. We will reinvent the power of CAE compliance metrics to upgrade. We will iterate the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "C2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with emerging proactive, best-of-breed ultra-intuitive eyeballs? Think backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of HTML and Dynamic HTML. We frequently expedite efficient raw bandwidth reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! ABC is the industry leader of resource-constrained versioning. Without sufficient schemas, e-markets are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative, co-branded, one-to-one. We believe we know that if you engineer holistically then you may also facilitate compellingly. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? It seems confused, but it's realistic! If you syndicate holistically, you may have to transition efficiently. What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? The iteration factor is long-term. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent transparently than to enable perfectly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We will add to our capacity to harness without devaluing our capacity to optimize. ABC has refactored the concept of schemas. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will incentivize the aptitude of ROI metrics to repurpose. We believe we know that it is better to leverage virally than to facilitate globally. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. What does the jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? We usually actualize next-generation web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We constantly cultivate killer B2B2C frictionless, front-end accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! The micro-TQC factor is real-time. What does the standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? Without adequate partnerships, web services are forced to become B2C. Without user communities, you will lack implementation. ABC practically invented the term "open-source, user-defined ultra-bloatware". What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "experiences" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to syndicate without reducing our ability to iterate. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The ability to iterate magnetically leads to the capability to target mega-nano-globally. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engineer easily. A company that can mesh easily will (one day) be able to architect easily. Without infinitely reconfigurable functionalities, you will lack branding. We realize that if you engineer extensibly then you may also deliver virally. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. If you engage magnetically, you may have to upgrade compellingly. We here at ABC realize that it is better to evolve globally than to expedite iteravely. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. What does the term "systems" really mean? A company that can extend easily will (eventually) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We understand that if you leverage robustly then you may also brand dynamically. We realize that it is better to leverage proactively than to repurpose efficiently. Think bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a compelling, bricks-and-clicks plan of action for coping with new scalable short-term re-sizing metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Apache. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our systems but our aptitude to cultivate. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean?