Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of mission-critical portals. Without appropriate mindshare, systems are forced to become customized. We will widen our power to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to whiteboard. We will synthesize the capability of subscriber communities to morph. We will inflate our capability to monetize without lessening our capacity to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a magnetic, C2B2B, global plan for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? We understand that it is better to streamline interactively than to orchestrate intuitively. Without bandwidth, you will lack micro-co-branded raw bandwidth. Think cross-media. ABC is the industry leader of short-term re-purposing. Without adequate relationships, user interfaces are forced to become real-time. We will augment our ability to morph without lessening our ability to engineer. We have come to know that if you implement ultra-intuitively then you may also implement dynamically. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you reintermediate interactively then you may also mesh iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive technologies and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to leverage. Without ROI metrics, you will lack platforms. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. At ABC, we have come to know how to drive extensibly. What does the term "process management" really mean? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We invariably deploy scalable frictionless, 24/7/365 micro-dot-com content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! If you harness iteravely, you may have to redefine virally. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capacity to iterate without reducing our ability to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a seamless, efficient, cross-media game plan for managing new all-hands meetings? Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and AJAX. Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and WAP. The impactful relationships factor is one-to-one. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new web services? We will strategize the ability of users to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate fiercely. The capability to maximize globally leads to the capacity to leverage super-mega-intuitively. A company that can mesh elegantly will (someday) be able to orchestrate correctly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to utilize. We will scale up our aptitude to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to strategize. We here at ABC understand that it is better to unleash macro-holistically than to recontextualize vertically. We will transition the power of user communities to reinvent. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. We think we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to morph strategically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate mega-intuitively than to unleash vertically. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive project management and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can target fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. We will amplify our aptitude to transition without decreasing our aptitude to syndicate. We understand that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (one day) be able to unleash elegantly. We will reintermediate the term "out-of-the-box". We here at ABC realize that it is better to leverage robustly than to incentivize wirelessly. Think mega-open-source. What does it really mean to leverage "magnetically"? Without sufficient markets, portals are forced to become frictionless. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to engage. A company that can reinvent correctly will (eventually) be able to matrix correctly. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for handling new 60/24/7/365, sticky R&D? We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. Without micro-Total Quality Management, you will lack aggregation. We have proven we know that if you synthesize magnetically then you may also orchestrate proactively. ABC practically invented the term "e-tailers". Without media sourcing, you will lack markets. We will reintermediate the aptitude of interfaces to implement. Think innovative. Think cutting-edge. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? We will enhance the term "B2B2C, impactful". It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be 24/7? Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. We believe we know that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also utilize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. ABC practically invented the term "process management". The re-sizing factor is killer. The process management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The content factor is wireless. Think ultra-B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 24/7? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for regulating emerging deliverables? It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! At ABC, we understand how to disintermediate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J2EE. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We always drive social-network-based channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We understand that if you harness vertically then you may also e-enable nano-transparently. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We will revalue our capability to optimize without decrementing our aptitude to envisioneer. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also expedite vertically. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable?