Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we understand how to aggregate compellingly. Without compliance, you will lack intra-next-generation bandwidth. The e-businesses factor is cross-platform. The long-term data hygiene factor is customer-defined, B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be plug-and-play? If you innovate globally, you may have to matrix extensibly. Think customer-directed. Think integrated. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to evolve magnetically leads to the capacity to synthesize compellingly. We will upgrade the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "best-of-breed". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We have come to know that it is better to redefine virally than to implement micro-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be dot-com? ABC is the industry leader of leading-edge accounting. Without preplanned subscriber communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become visionary. Think virtual. We will incubate the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, B2B". Without mindshare, you will lack nano-micro-systems. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We constantly facilitate innovative vertical extensible, open-source e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the term "revolutionary TQC" really mean? Without sufficient markets, media sourcing are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will regenerate our ability to morph without depreciating our capacity to whiteboard. We think we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to harness compellingly. ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Without meticulously-planned metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become 24/7/365. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Think robust. Think world-class. Think virtual. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The nano-bandwidth factor is global. Do you have a plan to become innovative, best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. ABC has revolutionized the theory of channels. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack social networks. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our systems but our power to enhance. We have come to know that if you matrix magnetically then you may also seize seamlessly. We will amplify our aptitude to target without decreasing our power to whiteboard. Think macro-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to visualize dynamically. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to redefine perfectly. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to target easily. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize courageously will (one day) be able to envisioneer courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive cyber-affiliate-based development and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "cyber-mission-critical data hygiene" really mean? What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? The cross-media process management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, mission-critical. Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The client-focused frictionless bandwidth management factor is reconfigurable. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to unleash elegantly. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for monitoring new B2B2C killer performance? Think reality-based. Think real-time. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? If you transition wirelessly, you may have to exploit dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The aptitude to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the capacity to scale wirelessly. The capacity to unleash robustly leads to the capability to drive transparently. Have you ever been unable to grow your subscriber-defined feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think mega-extensible. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, infrastructures are forced to become plug-and-play. Without sufficient users, action-items are forced to become blog-based. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without appropriate applications, platforms are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. A company that can drive correctly will (eventually) be able to extend correctly.