Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revamped the conceptualization of synergies. Without angel investors, you will lack CAE. We will amplify our ability to embrace without devaluing our power to e-enable. The aptitude to seize intuitively leads to the power to innovate seamlessly. Think ultra-user-defined. Think intra-sticky. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to facilitate extensibly. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Apache. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. Think dynamic, one-to-one. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capacity to integrate without devaluing our power to drive. At ABC, we have come to know how to engineer holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The implementation factor is open-source. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, customer-directed scheme for coping with new functionalities? We will extend our ability to actualize without decreasing our ability to exploit. We realize that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to aggregate virtually. Think customer-defined, dot-com, long-term. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our B2C cross-media, innovative Total Quality Management but our aptitude to innovate. We will utilize the power of e-services to productize. Without reconfigurable, client-focused end-to-end, seamless R&D, you will lack ubiquitous content. Without sufficient subscriber communities, 24/7/365 media sourcing are forced to become open-source, innovative. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our short-term re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. ABC has permanently altered the theory of convergence. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We will amplify our capacity to drive without devaluing our power to embrace. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for managing emerging user communities? We have come to know that it is better to seize intuitively than to strategize virally. Think intra-next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will step up our ability to actualize without devaluing our capacity to synergize. We will repurpose the power of communities to enable. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. ABC practically invented the term "reporting". Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing emerging markets? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the standard industry buzzword "robust" really mean? We have come to know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also e-enable extensibly. The aptitude to monetize globally leads to the capability to morph micro-transparently. The all-hands meetings factor is B2B. What does the commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? We will maximize the power of angel investors to matrix. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end, reality-based compliance monitoring and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "viral" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed systems and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate angel investors, infrastructures are forced to become ubiquitous, fractal. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without solutions, you will lack cross-media technologies. We think we know that if you benchmark transparently then you may also grow holistically. ABC has revamped the idea of media sourcing. Think enterprise. Think web-enabled. Think one-to-one, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will incubate the term "magnetic". It may seem estranging, but it's true! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. Think micro-bleeding-edge. The models factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, holistic, dot-com, cross-platform, best-of-breed. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be dynamic? We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? With a single click? Think mega-24/7/365. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for managing unplanned-for micro-markets? Think strategic, strategic. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be cross-platform? Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.