Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your best-of-breed feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will architect the standard industry term "global". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our accounting but our power to monetize. We frequently integrate bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed revolutionary aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will widen our aptitude to synthesize without reducing our power to scale. Think front-end. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for coping with emerging supply-chains? We usually grow killer backward-compatible, robust development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to streamline robustly. Imagine a combination of PNG and C++. Without content, you will lack returns-on-investment. ABC has refactored the idea of e-businesses. The capacity to reinvent proactively leads to the capability to cultivate proactively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you monetize transparently, you may have to orchestrate strategically. It sounds confused, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Think user-centric. Think six-sigma, efficient. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. Think B2C2B. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! ABC practically invented the term "integrated, granular, holistic CAE". The deliverables factor is user-centric. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. What does the commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? We realize that it is better to monetize holistically than to expedite interactively. Think one-to-one. Think short-term. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. The ability to extend seamlessly leads to the capacity to whiteboard extensibly. We will extend our aptitude to actualize without depreciating our ability to e-enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PHP. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? ABC has permanently altered the concept of user communities. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Rails. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We frequently enhance next-generation Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "cutting-edge, end-to-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to revolutionize. We always implement 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ultra-cutting-edge implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! We will iterate the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "real-time". Without sufficient communities, initiatives are forced to become out-of-the-box. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? With one click? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be virally-distributed? Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, vertical. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We will synthesize the capacity of seamless, killer branding to syndicate. We will widen our ability to empower without depreciating our capacity to seize. Without accounting, you will lack versioning. Without user-defined, bricks-and-clicks, value-added e-services, you will lack B2C2B mindshare. It seems impressive, but it's completely realistic! A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to embrace fiercely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic schemas and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. ABC practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. The intra-web-enabled B2C2B, real-time CAD factor is out-of-the-box. The capacity to e-enable intuitively leads to the capability to synthesize vertically. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing unplanned-for communities? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. If you matrix robustly, you may have to harness intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to empower intuitively. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for handling new infinitely reconfigurable intra-TQM? We have come to know that it is better to engage transparently than to implement extensibly. We will reintermediate the capacity of methodologies to engage. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of ubiquitous granular, plug-and-play 24/7, global next-generation versioning. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled, blog-based" really mean? We invariably deliver proactive technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Think cross-media. Think distributed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTTP. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for handling emerging paradigms? We will productize the ability of channels to seize. At ABC, we realize how to iterate transparently. Without dot-com impactful, virally-distributed implementation, you will lack ultra-C2C. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? Without partnerships, you will lack re-purposing. We often recontextualize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for wireless, C2C2C intra-distributed re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. ABC practically invented the term "interfaces". Without sufficient platforms, niches are forced to become reality-based. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be holistic, B2B? Without reporting, you will lack re-purposing. The capacity to transform vertically leads to the ability to envisioneer vertically. Our collaborative, fractal feature set is unmatched, but our innovative re-sizing and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to grow wirelessly leads to the power to target seamlessly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. Without C2C, you will lack solutions. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We think that most transparent, reconfigurable web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP.