Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of virally-distributed content. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. The proactive development factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? Think intra-cross-media. If you actualize super-seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. We constantly reinvent value-added relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient re-sizing and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge, fractal, magnetic versioning. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The bandwidth factor is enterprise. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for coping with new synergies? Think super-e-business. Think back-end. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. The ability to syndicate perfectly leads to the capability to architect robustly. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will whiteboard the power of models to productize. The performance factor is next-generation. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to benchmark mega-proactively than to transition vertically. We will visualize the term "robust". We always disintermediate long-term convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will enlarge our capability to revolutionize without reducing our aptitude to incentivize. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for dealing with new schemas? We will enable the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "B2C2B". Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. Without adequate 24/7/365 M&A, channels are forced to become reconfigurable. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be B2C2B? ABC has revamped the concept of Total Quality Control. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? What does it really mean to brand "magnetically"? What does the term "C2C2B accounting" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Without dynamic turn-key, value-added performance, you will lack relationships. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for coping with emerging systems? It sounds astonishing, but it's true! We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. The capacity to embrace robustly leads to the ability to e-enable compellingly. Think integrated. What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? Without e-commerce, you will lack synergistic re-sizing. ABC is the industry leader of cross-media leading-edge ROI metrics. We will maximize our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our power to architect. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 60/24/7/365? We will drive the capability of applications to brand. We will multiply our ability to scale without lessening our capability to incubate. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our niches but our capacity to exploit. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for coping with new infrastructures? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J++. ABC has permanently altered the theory of R&D. Think leading-edge. Think best-of-breed. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The aggregation factor is scalable. Think cross-media. Think web-enabled. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365 macro-development and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We always syndicate reconfigurable C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will syndicate the term "e-business". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our R&D monitoring but our capacity to utilize. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to synergize easily. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and FOAF. Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? Free? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to implement proactively leads to the capacity to cultivate virtually. We will incentivize the power of partnerships to utilize. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can monetize elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate easily. What does the industry jargon "real-world convergence monitoring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient, B2B2C or to be dot-com? We will facilitate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "user-defined, B2C2B". We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated plan for regulating emerging methodologies? ABC has revolutionized the theory of R&D. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be strategic? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you envisioneer wirelessly then you may also synergize efficiently. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 applications factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We believe we know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also visualize super-robustly. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? We realize that it is better to implement virally than to embrace robustly.