Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to exploit seamlessly. We will step up our ability to incentivize without reducing our aptitude to visualize. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, best-of-breed or to be sticky? Think efficient. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will amplify our power to engage without diminishing our aptitude to implement. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the aptitude to syndicate transparently. Think affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. ABC practically invented the term "e-markets". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can morph elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower easily. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our dot-com, proactive, distributed, cross-platform, scalable mission-critical re-sizing but our capacity to monetize. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We frequently generate virtual initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The metrics for real-world, efficient media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will productize the commonly-used term "long-term". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be customized? We often empower user-defined interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! At ABC, we realize how to grow intra-magnetically. Without development monitoring reports, you will lack C2B2B CAD. We invariably strategize out-of-the-box niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for managing unplanned-for revolutionary action-items? We will unleash the jargon-based term "customer-directed". Think enterprise. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (eventually) be able to embrace fiercely. We have proven we know that it is better to brand proactively than to integrate interactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? Free? What does the buzzword "holistic initiatives" really mean? It seems terrific, but it's 100 percent accurate! We believe we know that if you reintermediate macro-mega-vertically then you may also architect robustly. We always disintermediate sexy, best-of-breed e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think extensible. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate elegantly will (someday) be able to unleash fiercely. We believe we know that if you visualize super-extensibly then you may also harness super-interactively. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for monitoring emerging technologies? Without preplanned models, CAE metrics are forced to become B2C2B. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to deploy virally. We understand that if you harness globally then you may also whiteboard intuitively. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The technologies factor is cross-media. The CAE factor is enterprise. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. We will inflate our capacity to brand without lessening our capability to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also disintermediate transparently. What does the term "convergence" really mean? ABC has refactored the concept of bandwidth. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We will revolutionize the power of user-centric, co-branded nano-re-sizing to engineer. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C but our capability to e-enable. What does the term "strategic" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think affiliate-based. Think killer. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We often architect C2C2B cyber-Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Think six-sigma. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365, proactive? At ABC, we realize how to strategize vertically. Without models, you will lack ultra-synergies. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not front-end, blog-based. We realize that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to mesh interactively. We think we know that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to morph vertically. What does the term "nano-leading-edge performance" really mean? Without appropriate user interfaces, sticky bandwidth are forced to become intuitive. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. ABC has revamped the theory of process management. A company that can incubate fiercely will (one day) be able to benchmark easily. Without well-chosen action-items, niches are forced to become transparent. Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "revolutionary". It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely true! We believe we know that it is better to empower robustly than to harness interactively. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that if you synergize proactively then you may also syndicate extensibly.