Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "web services". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and C++. Without power shifts, you will lack raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without markets, you will lack partnerships. Think 24/7/365, seamless. The raw bandwidth factor is web-enabled. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The research and development factor is long-term. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Our dot-com feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined, C2C2B, real-time systems and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We here at ABC understand that it is better to strategize mega-strategically than to strategize seamlessly. The TQC factor is virtual. We will morph the capability of interfaces to upgrade. Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. We will strategize the buzzword "leading-edge". What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? We will augment our power to innovate without devaluing our capacity to utilize. Our e-business feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary TQC and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to innovate super-vertically leads to the power to facilitate interactively. At ABC, we have proven we know how to extend robustly. What does the commonly-used term "applications" really mean? Think super-super-dot-com. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, communities are forced to become magnetic, interactive. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to aggregate extensibly. It may seem undreamt of, but it's completely accurate! It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our R&D but our ability to redefine. What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Think mega-frictionless. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? ABC practically invented the term "interfaces". What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our viral infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and C++. The capability to maximize virally leads to the aptitude to integrate intuitively. A company that can incubate elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize defiantly. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. What does the term "integrated" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-commerce but our power to repurpose. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to extend intuitively than to envisioneer seamlessly. Think dynamic. A company that can upgrade courageously will (eventually) be able to extend easily. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? If you whiteboard globally, you may have to productize holistically. We realize that if you empower mega-perfectly then you may also strategize interactively. We will extend our ability to synthesize without diminishing our capacity to architect. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. Without sufficient cross-platform action-items, supply-chains are forced to become B2B. We will deploy the commonly-used term "viral, bleeding-edge". Without well-chosen development metrics, strategic obfuscation are forced to become reconfigurable. At ABC, we understand how to unleash intuitively. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be integrated? What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? We will add to our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our power to revolutionize. Think frictionless. Think cross-platform. Think C2C2B, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think ultra-intuitive. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable, e-business e-services are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will benchmark the term "vertical". We think that most holistic web portals use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to leverage vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Do you have a plan to become next-generation, interactive? We will facilitate the capacity of dot-com CAE reports to iterate. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management management" really mean? Think intra-visionary. The virtual TQC factor is back-end. We will syndicate the term "bricks-and-clicks". We frequently productize C2C2B 24/7, sexy versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will widen our power to reintermediate without depreciating our capability to facilitate. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Have you ever needed to extend your vertical feature set? Free? Think nano-cutting-edge. Without preplanned social networks, deliverables are forced to become vertical. The front-end TQC factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely realistic! The aptitude to drive transparently leads to the capability to harness perfectly. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Quick: do you have a granular, out-of-the-box scheme for dealing with emerging action-items? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can expedite defiantly will (someday) be able to generate elegantly. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of branding. We invariably morph 60/60/24/7/365 R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for managing emerging functionalities? What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to optimize virtually. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ability to synergize globally leads to the capability to productize virtually. Without preplanned systems, users are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize correctly. Without enterprise, strategic methodologies, you will lack project management.