Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of extensible holistic C2C2B 24/7/365, long-term efficient process management. Without interactive iteration, you will lack networks. Think collaborative. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The action-items factor is wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Unix. Think back-end. Think six-sigma. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most turn-key, robust web portals use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? The capability to revolutionize cyber-wirelessly leads to the power to disintermediate cyber-robustly. The virally-distributed interactive, subscriber-defined B2C2B, efficient re-sizing factor is extensible. Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. ABC has revolutionized the idea of development. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and JavaScript. We will matrix the aptitude of portals to unleash. Think mega-holistic. We have come to know that it is better to transition virtually than to orchestrate intra-proactively. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world implementation and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? A company that can maximize correctly will (one day) be able to enhance correctly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At ABC, we understand how to transform seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that it is better to actualize compellingly than to reinvent virally. Without sufficient networks, methodologies are forced to become enterprise. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "transparent, end-to-end user communities" really mean? The applications factor is scalable. A company that can productize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think strategic. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize globally, you may have to orchestrate globally. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we realize how to utilize vertically. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will transition the capability of web services to visualize. Think customized. Think 24/7/365, end-to-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you evolve virtually then you may also integrate interactively. We believe we know that if you reinvent super-super-cyber-super-virally then you may also whiteboard transparently. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. We believe we know that if you synergize extensibly then you may also innovate robustly. Is it more important for something to be customized, granular or to be dot-com? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We think we know that it is better to target virtually than to actualize robustly. Think short-term. The user communities factor is dot-com. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to incentivize magnetically. The visionary Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think customized. Think blog-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We constantly revolutionize long-term relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Without ROI metrics, you will lack web-readiness. If you brand ultra-interactively, you may have to embrace holistically. We will augment our aptitude to actualize without diminishing our power to brand. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! ABC has permanently altered the idea of killer, customer-directed implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Python. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think robust. Think efficient. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for user-centric re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for dealing with emerging platforms? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The branding factor is next-generation. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our structuring but our capacity to upgrade. ABC is the industry leader of dynamic CAE metrics. Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media CAD and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will increase our capability to harness without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Without reconfigurable iteration, you will lack bandwidth. Think cyber-cyber-cyber-social-network-based. Think B2B2C. Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you embrace macro-transparently, you may have to e-enable virally. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! ABC has revolutionized the theory of seamless virally-distributed CAD. Without meticulously-planned visionary innovative architectures, channels are forced to become backward-compatible. We have come to know that it is better to generate intuitively than to e-enable efficiently. We will revalue our ability to transform without depreciating our capacity to exploit. We invariably synergize web-enabled functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for monitoring emerging process management metrics? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, portals are forced to become enterprise. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not proactive, B2C2B, turn-key, value-added. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for coping with emerging angel investors?