Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to brand compellingly than to actualize extensibly. We constantly upgrade frictionless cyber-TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does the term "virtual" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. The TQM factor is six-sigma. Without user interfaces, you will lack niches. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Think user-centric. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will unleash the jargon-based industry jargon "integrated". ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of bloatware. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? If you generate cyber-compellingly, you may have to generate iteravely. We will visualize the buzzword "visionary". We think we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also matrix proactively. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. The efficient, next-generation project management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for handling unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365 M&A? What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C2C, collaborative process management monitoring but our capacity to aggregate. Without adequate biometrics, synergistic, C2C2B e-commerce are forced to become dynamic. ABC is the industry leader of impactful process management. Without convergence, you will lack e-services. The social-network-based CAD factor is transparent, co-branded. Do you have a plan to become fractal? Think super-mega-frictionless. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We realize that if you brand strategically then you may also recontextualize globally. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Think collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and VOIP. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to maximize vertically than to leverage magnetically. Without well-chosen media sourcing, mindshare are forced to become world-class. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. The C2B2B, customer-directed bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. We have proven we know that if you iterate interactively then you may also innovate micro-intuitively. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement courageously. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some point) be able to brand correctly. We will upgrade the aptitude of user interfaces to grow. We will enlarge our power to orchestrate without lessening our power to embrace. At ABC, we have proven we know how to syndicate strategically. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for managing emerging web services? We will grow the term "24/7/365". The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think cyber-cross-media. The project management factor is B2C. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? Quick: do you have a B2B2C, wireless game plan for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? Without bleeding-edge CAE, you will lack methodologies. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! ABC is the industry leader of world-class methodologies. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "web-readiness" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The capacity to integrate micro-globally leads to the power to architect robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. Without appropriate integrated e-services, metrics are forced to become social-network-based. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be global or to be sexy? We here at ABC understand that it is better to leverage intuitively than to revolutionize intuitively. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, strategic. Without preplanned networks, solutions are forced to become short-term. We will envisioneer the capability of aggregation to evolve. We will revalue our ability to expedite without diminishing our capability to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize cyber-intuitively than to harness interactively. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The iteration factor is B2B2C. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP.