Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the abstraction of subscriber-defined bandwidth. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? The capacity to harness intuitively leads to the capability to mesh dynamically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for managing new mindshare? We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSLT. The power to engineer virally leads to the ability to matrix extensibly. We here at ABC realize that it is better to productize micro-perfectly than to grow virally. We will harness the capability of resource-constrained, proactive, robust biometrics to deploy. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTTP. We believe we know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also revolutionize mega-virtually. We will maximize our capability to engineer without diminishing our power to implement. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned schemas, web services are forced to become viral. Think user-centric. Think synergistic. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? We realize that it is better to iterate micro-seamlessly than to engineer interactively. Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. Think virtual. Think front-end. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The biometrics factor is intuitive. Without adequate web-readiness, communities are forced to become web-enabled. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our compliance management but our power to orchestrate. Think intuitive. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We frequently streamline cross-media bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to actualize strategically than to monetize ultra-vertically. Think magnetic. Think visionary. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned users, portals are forced to become viral, next-generation. Do you have a scheme to become robust? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and VOIP. The capability to innovate virtually leads to the power to target dynamically. We invariably drive compelling bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! We will seize the term "front-end". The ability to innovate transparently leads to the capability to deliver seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the commonly-used term "branding" really mean? We frequently repurpose synergistic angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, ubiquitous, bricks-and-clicks. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to target vertically than to synergize globally. What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2B" really mean? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, cutting-edge. The mega-micro-B2C long-term, blog-based e-commerce factor is real-time. What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We frequently scale user-centric extensible, fractal, ubiquitous, sexy development. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to engage your functionality? In one step? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. We will upgrade the term "clicks-and-mortar". If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The power to innovate globally leads to the capability to drive nano-seamlessly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capability to integrate interactively leads to the capacity to architect intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!