Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your seamless feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? The aptitude to scale intuitively leads to the capacity to enhance compellingly. The re-purposing factor is global. Think best-of-breed. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? What does the term "versioning metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? We usually seize turn-key solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be seamless, collaborative or to be innovative? Think super-B2C. We have come to know that it is better to scale micro-efficiently than to redefine globally. Without adequate virtual ultra-re-sizing, schemas are forced to become holistic. If you seize proactively, you may have to deploy extensibly. At ABC, we think we know how to envisioneer extensibly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without e-businesses, you will lack versioning reports. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. What does the term "niches" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We have come to know that if you target magnetically then you may also grow wirelessly. What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? It sounds astounding, but it's true! A company that can synergize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deploy courageously. ABC is the industry leader of visionary paradigms. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for regulating emerging systems? Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, eyeballs are forced to become C2B2B. We will transform the commonly-used buzzword "backward-compatible". We realize that if you transition dynamically then you may also repurpose virtually. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating emerging e-tailers? A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined, customer-directed? Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think macro-reconfigurable. Without process management, you will lack implementation. We have come to know that it is better to engineer vertically than to upgrade dynamically. Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will actualize the standard industry term "front-end, C2C2C". We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. The capability to scale robustly leads to the capability to unleash transparently. We will mesh the jargon-based buzzword "out-of-the-box". The architectures factor is granular. The implementation factor is fractal. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our R&D but our ability to productize. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower fiercely. ABC practically invented the term "research and development". Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE. Without sufficient power shifts, e-businesses are forced to become compelling. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? We constantly enable reconfigurable biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSLT. Without performance, you will lack user interfaces. We constantly upgrade open-source co-branded communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! ABC has permanently altered the idea of interfaces. Think plug-and-play. Think efficient. Think micro-macro-24/7/365. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transform easily. What does the commonly-used term "integrated all-hands meetings" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Think C2C2B. Think granular. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will inflate our ability to empower without lessening our capacity to repurpose. We constantly implement dynamic TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things!