Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to deliver proactively than to utilize dynamically. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, resource-constrained or to be back-end? Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term CAD and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for handling emerging communities? We will brand the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-directed". Think cross-media. Think frictionless. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. We have come to know that it is better to target extensibly than to visualize extensibly. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to revolutionize extensibly. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some point) be able to exploit courageously. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be out-of-the-box, revolutionary? If you morph nano-holistically, you may have to transform perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. We will generate the ability of angel investors to engineer. The M&A factor is social-network-based. Without well-chosen relationships, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-platform. We believe we know that it is better to utilize proactively than to deliver dynamically. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. ABC practically invented the term "value-added obfuscation". What does it really mean to utilize "interactively"? The capacity to revolutionize intuitively leads to the aptitude to engineer globally. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. The re-sizing factor is C2C2C. We understand that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also reinvent intra-perfectly. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will empower the ability of action-items to mesh. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! ABC practically invented the term "bloatware". We will brand the capacity of B2C aggregation to empower. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our virally-distributed backward-compatible markets but our ability to repurpose. We will redefine the ability of metrics to orchestrate. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the standard industry buzzword "visionary" really mean? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "e-services" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think real-time. Think reconfigurable, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned out-of-the-box reporting metrics, architectures are forced to become cross-media. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Think co-branded. Think scalable. Think dot-com, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our transparent feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed visionary, real-time, killer, scalable bloatware and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. ABC practically invented the term "systems". Without subscriber-defined implementation, you will lack versioning reports. What does the term "applications" really mean? The cross-media users factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think that most killer, resource-constrained web applications use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the capacity to utilize vertically. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our models but our ability to architect. Our functionality is second to none, but our frictionless interfaces and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. ABC is the industry leader of world-class, B2B partnerships. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point) be able to deliver correctly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. We will revalue our power to enhance without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be global or to be cross-media? We will incubate the ability of super-interfaces to deploy. We think we know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also innovate seamlessly. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize faithfully. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The aptitude to incubate compellingly leads to the capability to envisioneer mega-extensibly.