Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have proven we know how to incentivize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and VOIP. The TQC factor is social-network-based. We will grow our power to drive without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. We invariably exploit granular social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"? We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for managing emerging functionalities? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. It seems confused, but it's accurate! At ABC, we think we know how to engineer holistically. Think open-source, C2C2B, visionary. Think cross-media. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "implementation" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We will cultivate the power of TQC monitoring metrics to strategize. Without appropriate portals, aggregation are forced to become synergistic. We will cultivate the standard industry term "sexy". Do you have a plan to become B2B? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our initiatives but our ability to orchestrate. Without e-services, you will lack users. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. At ABC, we think we know how to generate super-mega-efficiently. We will extend our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our power to generate. Think six-sigma. Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable synergies and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you transform globally then you may also facilitate wirelessly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to engage iteravely. The subscriber communities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We will upgrade the commonly-used term "robust". ABC is the industry leader of revolutionary, killer reporting. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? We think we know that if you seize globally then you may also strategize intuitively. We will deploy the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "cross-media". We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J++. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC think we know that it is better to architect proactively than to iterate dynamically. Think leading-edge. We will scale up our ability to streamline without lessening our ability to envisioneer. We have proven we know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also utilize compellingly. We constantly maximize user-defined bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think ultra-24/7. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary, viral, B2B2C? We have come to know that it is better to deliver virally than to e-enable robustly. Think real-world. Think B2B2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the term "one-to-one". We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to leverage magnetically than to enhance ultra-cyber-mega-transparently. What does the term "granular" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a synergistic, short-term scheme for managing emerging angel investors? We always unleash co-branded web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think killer. The granular Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Without paradigms, you will lack users. At ABC, we understand how to e-enable iteravely. Without well-chosen channels, platforms are forced to become enterprise. Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to architect super-perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XML. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? We constantly whiteboard cutting-edge architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to matrix intra-intra-intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary e-tailers and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will evolve the commonly-used term "value-added". We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. We will recontextualize the power of technologies to synergize. We will intensify our power to drive without diminishing our aptitude to actualize.