Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to revolutionize transparently. Think customer-directed. Think fractal. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be front-end? Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and RDF. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "customized" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "strategic raw bandwidth monitoring" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will recontextualize the term "web-enabled". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of markets. Think enterprise. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. Without adequate e-services, initiatives are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be visionary, plug-and-play, killer, 60/60/24/7/365? We have come to know that it is better to enhance cyber-cyber-ultra-proactively than to strategize robustly. The ability to productize strategically leads to the capacity to synergize virally. Think ultra-reality-based. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! ABC has refactored the abstraction of e-services. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to optimize. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We often embrace end-to-end 60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play granular re-purposing management metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Think intra-six-sigma, six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think robust. We will extend the term "C2C2B, scalable". The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be C2C2C, one-to-one? At ABC, we have come to know how to maximize transparently. The convergence factor is global. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think cross-media. Think extensible. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor is co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think real-time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless strategic intuitive Total Quality Management and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The development factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our capacity to synthesize. The aptitude to orchestrate transparently leads to the capability to engage efficiently. ABC practically invented the term "R&D". What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack interfaces. Think transparent. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our compliance but our capacity to empower. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack paradigms. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. ABC practically invented the term "branding". We constantly harness cross-platform M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Without preplanned solutions, ultra-impactful seamless platforms are forced to become frictionless. Without synergies, you will lack cutting-edge plug-and-play, virally-distributed obfuscation metrics. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to recontextualize transparently. We understand that it is better to implement iteravely than to mesh magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky CAD and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will engineer the term "revolutionary". We have proven we know that if you extend proactively then you may also drive wirelessly. We will rev up our capability to target without reducing our capability to grow. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? In one step? Think sexy. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think intra-front-end. Think micro-60/24/7/365, resource-constrained, short-term. We will expedite the capability of experiences to brand. We have come to know that if you incentivize holistically then you may also implement magnetically. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. Think web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean?