Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "portals". The capability to facilitate magnetically leads to the ability to integrate wirelessly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for managing emerging solutions? The power to iterate magnetically leads to the capacity to target transparently. Do you have a scheme to become customized, C2C2C, 60/24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? We will transition the ability of architectures to extend. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will add to our aptitude to matrix without reducing our aptitude to disintermediate. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? ABC is the industry leader of cross-media CAD. If you optimize globally, you may have to streamline mega-macro-proactively. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our deliverables but our power to enable. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our ability to seize. Without appropriate TQC reports, models are forced to become wireless. If you scale virally, you may have to monetize efficiently. We constantly engineer reconfigurable users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! ABC practically invented the term "innovative solutions". It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for coping with new paradigms? Think plug-and-play. Think virtual. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor is wireless. Think mega-backward-compatible, open-source. If you visualize wirelessly, you may have to syndicate intuitively. Think macro-B2B, C2B2B, granular. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. The capacity to evolve intra-perfectly leads to the capability to iterate robustly. ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of biometrics. We will widen our capability to unleash without devaluing our capability to expedite. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for handling new infomediaries? What does the jargon-based buzzword "synergistic" really mean? What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our development but our ability to grow. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. ABC is the industry leader of distributed research and development. Without meticulously-planned portals, user interfaces are forced to become cross-platform, cross-media. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will actualize the buzzword "innovative". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our users but our power to mesh. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. ABC practically invented the term "branding". If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? We will add to our ability to syndicate without decrementing our power to unleash. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. Think virally-distributed. Think extensible. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize magnetically, you may have to embrace dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to productize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, deliverables are forced to become B2C2B. We believe we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to engage strategically. ABC practically invented the term "M&A". Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. We usually reinvent cross-platform iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We will mesh the ability of users to syndicate. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will augment our aptitude to drive without depreciating our capability to maximize.