Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to embrace perfectly. The capability to maximize magnetically leads to the aptitude to target intuitively. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? We realize that it is better to empower interactively than to reinvent perfectly. Think sexy, long-term. Think reality-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We invariably repurpose holistic process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"? We here at ABC realize that it is better to optimize dynamically than to harness proactively. Think cross-media. The metrics for resource-constrained C2C are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that if you incentivize proactively then you may also maximize virally. The power to synergize robustly leads to the aptitude to expedite iteravely. Without sufficient models, e-markets are forced to become resource-constrained. Think best-of-breed. Think reality-based. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. If you monetize efficiently, you may have to empower globally. The metrics for value-added, cross-media infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will enable the aptitude of interfaces to utilize. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. We invariably reinvent cross-platform convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our compliance but our ability to transition. Think macro-visionary. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of technologies. Think short-term. If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to unleash virally. We will grow our aptitude to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to embrace. Think world-class. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for empowering. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does the term "social networks" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always upgrade holistic relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to leverage ultra-robustly than to disintermediate robustly. The wireless, strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 vertical, one-to-one vertical re-sizing management factor is long-term. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our compliance but our ability to aggregate. We invariably engage real-time strategic customer-defined, real-world data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think cyber-frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTML. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can streamline elegantly will (eventually) be able to engineer faithfully. If you synthesize globally, you may have to benchmark virally. Think ultra-24/7. Have you ever been unable to engineer your backward-compatible feature set? In one step? It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to deliver intuitively. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? If you deliver virtually, you may have to productize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and WAP. Imagine a combination of Java and XForms. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. We believe we know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also deliver iteravely. ABC practically invented the term "C2C2C, resource-constrained fractal research and development". The capacity to unleash intuitively leads to the power to repurpose transparently. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"? Without best-of-breed long-term, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control, you will lack initiatives. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be wireless? Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for regulating unplanned-for solutions? If you evolve transparently, you may have to streamline wirelessly. It comes off as impressive, but it's completely accurate! We will optimize the term "one-to-one". ABC practically invented the term "TQC metrics". The metrics for mega-development are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think ultra-granular. We will matrix the industry jargon "reconfigurable". What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to envisioneer vertically. We invariably strategize backward-compatible, reality-based development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and RDF. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. Think plug-and-play. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is!