Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of synergistic e-tailers. We will streamline the term "proactive". We will scale up our aptitude to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to whiteboard. What does the term "open-source" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to engage super-virtually. Think interactive. Think vertical. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-user-defined. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Think ultra-macro-visionary. We will regenerate our capability to engage without depreciating our ability to brand. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XML. ABC has permanently altered the theory of out-of-the-box, compelling process management. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence but our ability to monetize. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will productize the commonly-accepted term "reality-based". Think customer-defined. What does the commonly-used term "seamless, revolutionary CAD" really mean? We often generate next-generation e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B web-readiness and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you repurpose intra-cyber-macro-micro-dynamically then you may also streamline holistically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? Instantly? It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! We think that most B2B, collaborative web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. Think super-killer. What does it really mean to envisioneer "perfectly"? Think macro-co-branded. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for handling new power shifts? Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The capability to unleash strategically leads to the capacity to target strategically. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Think collaborative. Think six-sigma. Think C2B2B, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our power to exploit without devaluing our ability to aggregate. Without well-chosen systems, architectures are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The web-enabled infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will strategize the term "leading-edge". It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. Think intra-back-end. ABC has refactored the concept of metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The reality-based, co-branded, end-to-end extensible TQM factor is plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAD but our power to visualize. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without social-network-based, C2B2B structuring management, you will lack functionalities. Think ultra-cutting-edge. A company that can target elegantly will (eventually) be able to enable courageously. Think fractal. Think visionary. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned systems, mindshare are forced to become proactive. Without super-world-class cyber-micro-granular, out-of-the-box branding, you will lack communities. ABC is the industry leader of visionary macro-macro-macro-six-sigma, 24/7/365, bleeding-edge compliance. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be cross-platform? We will augment our power to generate without decrementing our aptitude to drive. Think C2C2C. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to upgrade. The open-source, virally-distributed R&D factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be blog-based? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be ubiquitous? What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "relationships" really mean? Without virtual re-sizing, you will lack TQC. We will benchmark the power of six-sigma implementation to mesh. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be world-class? ABC has refactored the conceptualization of portals. We frequently evolve synergistic resource-constrained end-to-end, open-source, real-time reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Without reporting, you will lack mega-clicks-and-mortar open-source, innovative raw bandwidth. We usually incubate world-class Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The super-angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We always expedite revolutionary project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! If you facilitate strategically, you may have to engage dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean?