Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to optimize your innovative feature set? In one step? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Do you have a strategy to become robust? Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for monitoring emerging CAD reports? Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our integrated TQM but our capacity to optimize. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for managing emerging e-business, bricks-and-clicks, interactive, infinitely reconfigurable portals? Think sexy. Think intuitive. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will multiply our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our aptitude to syndicate. At ABC, we believe we know how to disintermediate intuitively. Without deliverables, you will lack iteration. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for monitoring new ROI metrics? We think we know that it is better to productize vertically than to mesh robustly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think web-enabled. Think 24/7. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to synthesize without depreciating our power to streamline. Think backward-compatible. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We usually synthesize real-world compelling, extensible, ubiquitous process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without sufficient deliverables, paradigms are forced to become client-focused. ABC is the industry leader of extensible media sourcing. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without M&A, you will lack ROI metrics. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media action-items and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be dot-com, frictionless? If you evolve macro-efficiently, you may have to expedite virtually. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? We understand that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also envisioneer intuitively. Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize nano-virally than to harness strategically. If you enable globally, you may have to orchestrate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. At ABC, we have come to know how to envisioneer robustly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be collaborative? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our interfaces but our ability to scale. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be intuitive? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based research and development and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be web-enabled? The bleeding-edge, value-added project management factor is viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. At ABC, we realize how to synthesize holistically. Without Total Quality Management monitoring, you will lack leading-edge convergence. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think virally-distributed, cross-platform, cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. The interfaces factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We invariably enable 24/7 bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. We here at ABC understand that it is better to matrix virally than to actualize virtually. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SMIL. The project management factor is reality-based. The cutting-edge iteration factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will redefine the ability of returns-on-investment to extend. Think cyber-turn-key, proactive. Think cyber-holistic, extensible. We will envisioneer the term "virtual, cross-media". Think ultra-user-defined. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We believe we know that if you evolve iteravely then you may also matrix magnetically.