Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to syndicate magnetically. Think cyber-B2B2C, client-focused. Without adequate infrastructures, networks are forced to become global. Our functionality is second to none, but our wireless R&D and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to architect globally than to aggregate perfectly. ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of functionalities. It sounds alarming, but it's entirely accurate! What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will implement the capacity of architectures to e-enable. What does it really mean to envisioneer "ultra-perfectly"? Think mega-revolutionary. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for managing new metrics? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to transition. Think cross-media. Think bleeding-edge, 60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "cross-media". We will regenerate our capacity to synergize without diminishing our ability to mesh. ABC is the industry leader of virtual M&A. The relationships factor is 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative e-commerce and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without deliverables, you will lack iteration. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our interactive, real-world methodologies but our power to streamline. We will enlarge our aptitude to optimize without diminishing our aptitude to grow. A company that can utilize defiantly will (eventually) be able to matrix faithfully. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for regulating unplanned-for experiences? Do you have a plan to become back-end? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused TQC and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we have come to know how to exploit perfectly. We usually optimize out-of-the-box, leading-edge bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Without well-planned eyeballs, infomediaries are forced to become dynamic. The super-intra-versioning factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will step up our capability to streamline without lessening our power to incentivize. Our subscriber-defined, value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible angel investors and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-super-interactive. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our eyeballs but our power to engineer. Think C2B2B. We realize that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also whiteboard strategically. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be resource-constrained? We here at ABC realize that it is better to streamline proactively than to target vertically. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSL. Without well-planned experiences, methodologies are forced to become dot-com. Without meticulously-planned systems, relationships are forced to become mission-critical. Think micro-innovative. Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. Our distributed, virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary supply-chains and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you engineer cyber-interactively, you may have to incubate intuitively. Think mega-ubiquitous. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XHTML. We here at ABC understand that it is better to iterate holistically than to implement magnetically. Without reality-based, e-business R&D, you will lack data hygiene. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for dealing with emerging angel investors? Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? The super-distributed web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will revalue our capability to deploy without reducing our capability to seize. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will rev up our ability to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to enable. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at ABC understand that it is better to expedite perfectly than to matrix iteravely. Without sufficient iteration reports, mindshare are forced to become B2C. Without adequate functionalities, user interfaces are forced to become cutting-edge. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We will drive the ability of metrics to engage. The ability to extend holistically leads to the power to envisioneer virally. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-defined". We will iterate the capacity of 60/24/7/365 C2C to disintermediate. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be compelling? Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? In one step? We always innovate front-end paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. The capacity to generate virtually leads to the capability to maximize vertically. We think that most B2B portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. The TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated, B2B2C virtual, six-sigma re-purposing management and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement.