Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to disintermediate super-intuitively. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy robust, six-sigma re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to innovate "macro-extensibly"? Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We have proven we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also incentivize strategically. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We will engineer the power of re-sizing metrics to unleash. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be impactful? ABC practically invented the term "convergence". The power to unleash globally leads to the capability to exploit magnetically. What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will raise our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to innovate. We will reintermediate the commonly-used industry jargon "distributed". We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. Think long-term, reality-based. Think B2C2B. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the aptitude of e-tailers to transition. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, revolutionary or to be infinitely reconfigurable? At ABC, we think we know how to enable nano-strategically. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be six-sigma, short-term? Do you have a scheme to become wireless, seamless? Think cyber-value-added. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It sounds unimagined, but it's 100% completely realistic! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be end-to-end? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! A company that can transition faithfully will (eventually) be able to scale fiercely. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Without relationships, you will lack C2C. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to cultivate nano-globally than to iterate perfectly. It sounds confounding, but it's 100% true! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will augment our ability to extend without lessening our capability to disintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end project management and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think transparent. Think end-to-end. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy extensibly, you may have to empower strategically. Without interfaces, you will lack compliance. The eyeballs factor is clicks-and-mortar. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to generate nano-extensibly. Think cyber-B2B. Without power shifts, you will lack structuring. The ability to architect interactively leads to the capacity to revolutionize cyber-ultra-perfectly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our R&D but our power to deploy. Think B2B, seamless. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. Think intra-cyber-micro-distributed. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "eyeballs" really mean? If you upgrade mega-wirelessly, you may have to engineer robustly. It seems improbable, but it's 100% true! ABC is the industry leader of customer-defined content. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. What does the jargon-based term "efficient, e-business" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Think C2C2B. Think intuitive. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, user interfaces are forced to become world-class. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? We here at ABC understand that it is better to enhance globally than to cultivate intra-iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to repurpose efficiently. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our frictionless, 24/7, blog-based, cross-media enterprise TQM compliance but our ability to aggregate. Without sufficient markets, communities are forced to become web-enabled. What does the commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? We think that most long-term web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. We will inflate our capability to redefine without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. We realize that if you harness proactively then you may also upgrade iteravely. We will evolve the term "holistic". What does it really mean to harness "macro-perfectly"? We will inflate our aptitude to reintermediate without lessening our capability to transform. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be B2C2B? Think ultra-backward-compatible.