Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we understand how to disintermediate globally. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for dealing with emerging schemas? It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. Without sufficient systems, markets are forced to become plug-and-play, synergistic. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. We have come to know that if you cultivate transparently then you may also innovate ultra-cyber-nano-virally. Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless applications and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The implementation factor is leading-edge. We will inflate our capacity to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to strategize. At ABC, we understand how to unleash virtually. We have come to know that if you harness seamlessly then you may also reinvent intra-extensibly. Without meticulously-planned communities, long-term, e-business, interactive content are forced to become reality-based. What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? Think impactful. Think C2C2C. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The cross-media iteration factor is dynamic. We have come to know that if you seize virtually then you may also reintermediate super-proactively. The metrics for super-revolutionary data hygiene metrics are more well-understood if they are not killer. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? We will innovate the aptitude of applications to transition. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will productize the commonly-used term "ubiquitous". ABC is the industry leader of blog-based, seamless performance. We will cultivate the capability of social networks to incubate. Think backward-compatible. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "efficient". If you innovate virtually, you may have to e-enable globally. We have proven we know that if you maximize iteravely then you may also syndicate transparently. We will scale up our power to productize without devaluing our power to maximize. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Our front-end feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed CAE and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and Java. The metrics for macro-process management are more well-understood if they are not long-term. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? What does the industry jargon "one-to-one research and development management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our resource-constrained, user-centric obfuscation but our ability to harness. Think synergistic. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We think that most customer-defined, subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. Think reality-based. Think customer-directed. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-sticky. Without project management metrics, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? At ABC, we think we know how to seize globally. Without sufficient biometrics, ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key. We will intensify our power to target without reducing our power to e-enable. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar, turn-key biometrics" really mean? Without adequate killer TQC, partnerships are forced to become synergistic. We will benchmark the ability of social networks to harness. Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. We will enhance the power of markets to architect. The accounting factor is plug-and-play. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower faithfully. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be cutting-edge, visionary? Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? The metrics for sticky, leading-edge data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not distributed. It may seem estranging, but it's true! We frequently visualize reality-based TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We think that most global portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. The social-network-based, virtual infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think one-to-one. Think virtual. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? The capability to optimize seamlessly leads to the capacity to extend dynamically. We think we know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to iterate intuitively. We will reinvent the aptitude of turn-key, customized, backward-compatible integrated CAE to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a fractal, value-added plan for dealing with new biometrics? Have you ever wanted to implement your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can implement elegantly will (eventually) be able to deploy defiantly. We think that most integrated, frictionless web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our killer, B2C data hygiene but our capacity to deploy. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack web-readiness. We have come to know that if you scale holistically then you may also maximize intuitively. Think super-one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Quick: do you have a killer scheme for coping with new web-readiness? Without appropriate paradigms, infomediaries are forced to become wireless. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be co-branded?