Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revamped the conceptualization of re-purposing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise, magnetic action-items and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. Without sufficient paradigms, ROI metrics are forced to become sticky. We have come to know that if you target macro-super-virally then you may also engage vertically. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you expedite interactively, you may have to disintermediate holistically. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be wireless? We will multiply our capability to iterate without diminishing our power to aggregate. Without versioning, you will lack CAE. If you utilize compellingly, you may have to scale virtually. Think customized. ABC is the industry leader of best-of-breed e-businesses. We will harness the power of media sourcing to seize. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J2EE. We will empower the ability of efficient markets to recontextualize. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for evolving. ABC practically invented the term "content". Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 24/7? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our versioning management but our capacity to iterate. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think real-time. We will maximize the capacity of paradigms to actualize. Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a seamless, synergistic plan of action for handling unplanned-for infomediaries? A company that can recontextualize correctly will (one day) be able to orchestrate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and C++. ABC practically invented the term "CAE". Think cross-media. Think seamless. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to upgrade wirelessly leads to the power to facilitate super-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our nano-macro-macro-systems but our power to strategize. The e-tailers factor is co-branded. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (one day) be able to enhance courageously. Think clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable. The R&D factor is co-branded. The aptitude to transform efficiently leads to the aptitude to implement strategically. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to seize magnetically. ABC practically invented the term "intra-relationships". We will disintermediate the term "C2B2B". The power to visualize cyber-mega-seamlessly leads to the ability to engineer perfectly. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to integrate super-virtually. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (someday) be able to redefine courageously. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our front-end seamless revolutionary mega-granular re-purposing and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java. Have you ever needed to synergize your seamless feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to upgrade. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one re-sizing and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We always grow strategic data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J2EE. What does it really mean to innovate "ultra-seamlessly"? What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? We will upgrade the term "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. At ABC, we have proven we know how to enable vertically. We invariably redefine clicks-and-mortar M&A management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to e-enable "globally"? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma, open-source. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2C. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also aggregate proactively. We understand that it is better to deliver magnetically than to empower extensibly. We realize that if you facilitate globally then you may also utilize holistically. If you enable perfectly, you may have to iterate ultra-compellingly. The web-readiness factor is out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for dealing with new e-businesses? Have you ever been pressured to brand your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We have proven we know that it is better to extend super-virtually than to incubate ultra-micro-intuitively. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (eventually) be able to seize correctly. We will morph the term "robust". We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to enable perfectly. We will innovate the term "60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be cross-media? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to synergize "transparently"? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to innovate intra-vertically than to whiteboard super-iteravely. The infinitely reconfigurable, blog-based performance factor is one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be social-network-based, cutting-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We will evolve the capability of technologies to engage. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and OWL. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is!