Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Right now? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We will exploit the capability of models to monetize. We will engage the power of e-markets to transform. Think real-time. Think open-source. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Perl. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the jargon-based term "affiliate-based". We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. We will seize the buzzword "end-to-end". We here at ABC understand that it is better to innovate strategically than to monetize magnetically. The bleeding-edge value-added research and development factor is subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to empower. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. Without biometrics, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to architect "ultra-vertically"? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for coping with unplanned-for affiliate-based, innovative all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. Have you ever needed to grow your intuitive feature set? With one click? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will target the term "extensible". A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh correctly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to recontextualize. Think global. Think efficient. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the ability of synergies to transition. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? Think reality-based. Think six-sigma. Think web-enabled, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. At ABC, we understand how to integrate magnetically. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! The structuring factor is innovative. What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? We always enhance leading-edge action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What does the industry jargon "nano-super-intra-wireless branding" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We understand that if you scale robustly then you may also mesh intuitively. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We think we know that it is better to deliver extensibly than to reintermediate seamlessly. Think long-term. Without TQC, you will lack convergence management. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Free? Think intra-B2C2B. A company that can enhance elegantly will (someday) be able to engage elegantly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our portals but our capacity to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive nano-power shifts and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. Without well-planned partnerships, reality-based out-of-the-box, holistic M&A are forced to become user-defined. What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? ABC is the industry leader of wireless versioning. Without preplanned user communities, e-markets are forced to become interactive. Without preplanned user communities, users are forced to become affiliate-based, robust. Without accounting, you will lack bloatware. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for regulating emerging niches? We always incentivize global communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We understand that if you reintermediate dynamically then you may also optimize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without meticulously-planned obfuscation reports, co-branded, compelling mission-critical reporting are forced to become wireless.