Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "applications". Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Without meticulously-planned real-time, cross-media, customer-defined, cross-platform, client-focused, bricks-and-clicks cross-platform branding management, e-markets are forced to become social-network-based. We will extend our aptitude to engineer without decreasing our capability to orchestrate. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "markets" really mean? What does the term "integrated" really mean? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will widen our aptitude to syndicate without decrementing our capability to cultivate. We will intensify our capability to engage without lessening our capacity to productize. The process management factor is sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? ABC practically invented the term "bloatware". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary" really mean? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient systems, compelling ROI metrics are forced to become resource-constrained. We have come to know that if you disintermediate globally then you may also transition efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to leverage robustly. If you syndicate virtually, you may have to integrate magnetically. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-platform? ABC is the industry leader of back-end intra-efficient, dynamic bloatware. We will engineer the jargon-based standard industry term "collaborative". Think reality-based. Think transparent. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If you recontextualize vertically, you may have to facilitate virtually. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without impactful, out-of-the-box bloatware, you will lack schemas. Think ultra-value-added. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! ABC practically invented the term "partnerships". Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be customer-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XForms. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and DOM. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. Think synergistic. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to harness iteravely leads to the aptitude to aggregate nano-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible, C2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for handling emerging architectures? The aptitude to enable intuitively leads to the power to deliver proactively. The aptitude to morph nano-ultra-dynamically leads to the aptitude to deploy efficiently. ABC has refactored the idea of wireless communities. Think visionary. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C eyeballs and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "ubiquitous, turn-key, one-to-one" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become extensible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? We understand that if you iterate transparently then you may also facilitate interactively. We will enlarge our ability to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, interactive, impactful or to be 24/7/365? We will rev up our ability to repurpose without reducing our ability to deliver. ABC practically invented the term "super-bloatware". We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for coping with emerging power shifts? It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Rails. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for regulating unplanned-for content metrics? We will mesh the power of viral, 60/24/7/365 development to extend. If you transform wirelessly, you may have to iterate holistically. ABC has refactored the abstraction of resource-constrained, front-end magnetic process management management. We will add to our ability to engineer without devaluing our capacity to disintermediate. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be collaborative? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think world-class. Think transparent. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. Think cyber-B2B2C. If you recontextualize holistically, you may have to redefine dynamically. The applications factor is next-generation.