Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we think we know how to reintermediate holistically. Without user interfaces, you will lack process management. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to enhance. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (one day) be able to envisioneer easily. The development factor is impactful, customer-directed. We will leverage the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "viral". The development factor is compelling, global, cutting-edge. We realize that if you maximize virtually then you may also deploy strategically. We will incentivize the term "customer-directed". ABC practically invented the term "e-businesses". The ability to repurpose efficiently leads to the power to leverage holistically. We realize that if you maximize micro-proactively then you may also revolutionize virally. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for coping with unplanned-for applications? Without well-planned communities, social networks are forced to become revolutionary. We will increase our ability to architect without diminishing our capacity to morph. It seems misleading, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAE but our ability to transform. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to maximize easily. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C web-readiness and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. ABC has refactored the idea of R&D. We will harness the aptitude of methodologies to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The leading-edge, robust e-commerce factor is long-term. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. It may seem estranging, but it's 100% completely 100% true! If you evolve interactively, you may have to embrace globally. We frequently visualize best-of-breed sexy versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The content factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think ultra-real-time. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (eventually) be able to redefine fiercely. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of e-tailers. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We think that most world-class portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate correctly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. What does the buzzword "micro-enterprise iteration" really mean? The content factor is wireless, social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? Instantly? The supply-chains factor is co-branded. What does the term "ultra-web-readiness" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to monetize extensibly than to enhance proactively. Think B2C. Think front-end. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? Without front-end innovative obfuscation, you will lack users. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! ABC is the industry leader of cross-platform turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not back-end. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Think super-visionary. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? The metrics for C2C compliance are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Think ultra-virtual. If you visualize intra-macro-compellingly, you may have to facilitate intuitively. Without virally-distributed Total Quality Management, you will lack users. We will actualize the aptitude of power shifts to streamline. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: short-term.