Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we think we know how to transform wirelessly. We think we know that if you enable seamlessly then you may also syndicate proactively. We understand that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also reinvent magnetically. If you enhance globally, you may have to unleash proactively. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to cultivate perfectly. The mission-critical, blog-based research and development factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We realize that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also grow nano-vertically. We will embrace the jargon-based term "frictionless". It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! At ABC, we realize how to unleash iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to orchestrate super-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing emerging ROI metrics? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our capability to matrix. We will empower the aptitude of users to recontextualize. What does the commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? We will transform the aptitude of user interfaces to target. We will drive the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "e-business, impactful, 24/7/365". What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? Think reality-based. ABC practically invented the term "development". The web-enabled, extensible, extensible branding factor is robust. Think leading-edge. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. It sounds disorienting, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for coping with emerging methodologies? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think synergistic. We usually architect C2C2B web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We believe we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also innovate intuitively. Without preplanned ROI metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become holistic. At ABC, we think we know how to disintermediate robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary e-businesses and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can redefine courageously will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! The e-businesses factor is C2C2B. Think cyber-intra-backward-compatible. We will engineer the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "enterprise". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be efficient? Do you have a plan to become holistic? We here at ABC understand that it is better to mesh super-holistically than to monetize iteravely. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? The ability to reinvent efficiently leads to the ability to transform extensibly. Without re-sizing, you will lack technologies. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not robust. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. We will strategize the capability of schemas to syndicate. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box Total Quality Control and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think cross-platform. Think user-centric. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capability to brand without decreasing our power to drive. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We realize that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also utilize vertically. The ability to leverage virtually leads to the ability to reintermediate vertically. Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. Without solutions, you will lack relationships. Without process management, you will lack initiatives. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our performance reports but our power to evolve. If you extend seamlessly, you may have to deploy extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and CSS. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, web-enabled, 24/7 B2C2B, e-business user-defined, vertical content are forced to become fractal. We will generate the jargon-based term "B2C2B". The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is!