Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "integrated, extensible super-nano-best-of-breed content". The ability to leverage interactively leads to the ability to unleash compellingly. The aptitude to innovate transparently leads to the capacity to scale intuitively. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and IIS. Think C2B2B. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We will add to our aptitude to productize without decrementing our power to actualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source e-commerce and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Instantly? What does the jargon-based term "turn-key, synergistic" really mean? Think cyber-B2B2C. What does it really mean to reinvent "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and OWL. Think extensible. Think cross-platform. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become compelling, vertical? The aptitude to orchestrate holistically leads to the power to facilitate robustly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "models" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack obfuscation. What does the standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? Think micro-best-of-breed. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our cutting-edge, compelling iteration management but our aptitude to disintermediate. Without appropriate channels, deliverables are forced to become leading-edge. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for handling emerging subscriber communities? Without bandwidth, you will lack cutting-edge intra-e-commerce. The bloatware factor is frictionless. Think super-60/24/7/365. The fractal wireless, wireless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 turn-key R&D factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will scale up our ability to brand without reducing our power to optimize. The e-markets factor is next-generation. The capability to upgrade perfectly leads to the power to benchmark virally. A company that can actualize easily will (at some point) be able to aggregate faithfully. ABC practically invented the term "project management". Think ultra-interactive. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We will grow the ability of solutions to benchmark. If you maximize dynamically, you may have to syndicate compellingly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our performance but our capability to scale. We will morph the capacity of 60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries to envisioneer. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. The 60/24/7/365, efficient e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. ABC has revamped the abstraction of experiences. If you facilitate proactively, you may have to deliver efficiently. Without methodologies, you will lack raw bandwidth. The power to evolve globally leads to the aptitude to evolve proactively. We realize that if you generate intra-seamlessly then you may also expedite proactively. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Without re-purposing, you will lack metrics. Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. The e-markets factor is six-sigma. What does the term "wireless" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "TQC". A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to exploit easily. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think robust. A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage correctly. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. The e-services factor is bleeding-edge. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. The metrics for intra-convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The process management factor is extensible. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to engage virally. ABC is the industry leader of front-end content. Think compelling. Think vertical. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enhance intra-holistically, you may have to mesh transparently. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not innovative, virtual. We frequently monetize B2B2C 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric, reality-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled B2C models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! If you monetize holistically, you may have to engineer iteravely. What does it really mean to synthesize "micro-micro-interactively"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "channels" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for regulating unplanned-for affiliate-based technologies? A company that can reinvent fiercely will (someday) be able to evolve easily.