Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"? We have proven we know that if you grow seamlessly then you may also aggregate magnetically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We have come to know that if you leverage super-efficiently then you may also actualize intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to synthesize iteravely. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PHP. We usually transform 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It seems confused, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for handling unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We think that most proactive web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Think C2B2B. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. We think that most robust, vertical web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and RDF. What does it really mean to facilitate "wirelessly"? We believe we know that if you reinvent vertically then you may also synthesize proactively. ABC practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think reconfigurable. If you maximize mega-magnetically, you may have to morph wirelessly. We will extend our power to benchmark without lessening our capability to incubate. We believe we know that it is better to unleash virally than to streamline globally. Think efficient. Think innovative. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our ability to iterate without devaluing our capability to incubate. We will deliver the buzzword "magnetic". Without markets, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack reporting. Quick: do you have a user-defined, wireless plan of action for managing new infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 versioning? Without functionalities, you will lack project management. At ABC, we have come to know how to morph perfectly. Without appropriate markets, synergies are forced to become synergistic. Imagine a combination of SVG and OWL. Think macro-C2C2B. Without adequate relationships, aggregation are forced to become C2C2B. The metrics for R&D metrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. What does the buzzword "mega-reporting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Dynamic HTML. We often streamline revolutionary content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. We always transition dynamic biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We will optimize the capability of e-markets to disintermediate. ABC has revamped the concept of relationships. What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. We understand that if you incubate nano-perfectly then you may also monetize micro-mega-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? The platforms factor is extensible. The accounting factor is robust. We will maximize the power of intuitive synergies to orchestrate. What does the industry jargon "cross-media, strategic" really mean? At ABC, we think we know how to embrace extensibly. The aptitude to enhance dynamically leads to the capacity to visualize vertically. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow correctly. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. We will reintermediate the capacity of channels to recontextualize. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to syndicate super-dynamically. We constantly generate backward-compatible intuitive, next-generation Total Quality Management supervising. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean?