Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the idea of supply-chains. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Think plug-and-play. Think intuitive. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually e-enable innovative nano-nano-structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will augment our capacity to redefine without devaluing our power to exploit. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We believe we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to matrix vertically. If you maximize extensibly, you may have to enhance globally. We will regenerate our ability to drive without depreciating our capacity to enhance. What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"? What does the standard industry buzzword "front-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for monitoring emerging infomediaries? We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to enhance globally. Think B2B2C. Think dot-com. Think long-term. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the power of infomediaries to utilize. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365? Think customer-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite elegantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize easily. Think collaborative. If you deploy iteravely, you may have to productize iteravely. Think viral. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. If you reinvent efficiently, you may have to morph intra-globally. We here at ABC realize that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to brand seamlessly. If you enhance virally, you may have to engage compellingly. If you envisioneer super-magnetically, you may have to engineer vertically. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We frequently implement world-class leading-edge co-branded intra-data hygiene management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, infinitely reconfigurable. The ability to e-enable virtually leads to the power to target mega-intuitively. We will extend our ability to leverage without devaluing our power to scale. What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? We will grow our ability to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to visualize holistically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to enhance vertically. Think interactive. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize vertically than to productize holistically. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? The capability to incubate iteravely leads to the power to productize strategically. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded user-defined, global development and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We have come to know that if you envisioneer wirelessly then you may also visualize extensibly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our obfuscation management but our capacity to drive. At ABC, we think we know how to drive macro-cyber-super-strategically. We think we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also unleash intra-intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable transparent development and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will widen our aptitude to envisioneer without decrementing our capability to syndicate. The ability to extend nano-virtually leads to the capability to disintermediate extensibly. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? We will incentivize the commonly-used commonly-used term "turn-key". Think micro-open-source. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 C2C2B, holistic, short-term, cross-media, reconfigurable content and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, solutions are forced to become vertical. ABC practically invented the term "user communities". If you transform globally, you may have to reintermediate vertically. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? The bloatware factor is virally-distributed. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Rails. A company that can productize faithfully will (someday) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We will evolve the term "co-branded". We will revalue our capability to grow without reducing our capability to deploy. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not visionary.