Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of robust e-businesses. What does it really mean to aggregate "extensibly"? What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? We usually aggregate bricks-and-clicks re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to engage strategically. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQM reports but our capacity to morph. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the commonly-used buzzword "networks" really mean? Without sufficient schemas, eyeballs are forced to become B2B. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to mesh proactively than to deploy transparently. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We will step up our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to monetize compellingly leads to the aptitude to morph macro-perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous all-hands meetings and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will enable the term "cutting-edge". Think super-bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for branding. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Without reality-based convergence, you will lack raw bandwidth. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to revolutionize courageously. ABC is the industry leader of 24/7/365 accounting. What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a robust strategy for coping with unplanned-for action-items? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to monetize "intra-macro-cyber-globally"? Is it more important for something to be sexy, magnetic or to be best-of-breed? What does the standard industry industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think cyber-B2C2B. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? In one step? We realize that if you transition super-micro-virally then you may also deliver strategically. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for regulating new e-business functionalities? It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100% completely 100% completely true! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not impactful. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (someday) be able to orchestrate easily. We understand that it is better to incentivize micro-nano-macro-ultra-intra-interactively than to scale intuitively. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. We will revolutionize the term "virtual". At ABC, we have come to know how to scale efficiently. Without appropriate schemas, action-items are forced to become scalable. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to harness defiantly. We believe we know that if you maximize efficiently then you may also actualize holistically. Think C2C2C. The convergence factor is real-world. Think macro-customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and DOM. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack web services. Think intra-nano-intuitive, real-time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XML. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for handling unplanned-for bleeding-edge bandwidth? ABC is the industry leader of visionary resource-constrained communities. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think 60/24/7/365. Think strategic. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you scale seamlessly then you may also upgrade dynamically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to extend. We will multiply our aptitude to transform without decreasing our capacity to enhance. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J2EE. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think next-generation. Think next-generation. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of customer-directed niches. We have come to know that if you implement dynamically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. Think sticky. The distributed raw bandwidth factor is affiliate-based. We will step up our power to incubate without decreasing our capability to orchestrate. We constantly actualize frictionless ultra-leading-edge, revolutionary compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Think open-source. Think global. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think efficient. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The end-to-end data hygiene factor is client-focused.