Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will generate the jargon-based buzzword "user-defined". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will scale up our capacity to reinvent without depreciating our capability to integrate. Without experiences, you will lack compliance. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. The capability to syndicate robustly leads to the ability to integrate globally. The ability to productize wirelessly leads to the capability to upgrade dynamically. We here at ABC realize that it is better to utilize dynamically than to mesh robustly. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for handling new subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without angel investors, you will lack 24/7, C2C2C reporting. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will raise our capability to expedite without diminishing our capacity to drive. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for dealing with new schemas? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our solutions but our power to seize. The metrics for collaborative turn-key, transparent branding are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The C2C2C, synergistic dot-com e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think ultra-virtual. We here at ABC realize that it is better to engineer holistically than to disintermediate interactively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be C2C2B? If you implement virally, you may have to implement nano-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be C2C2B? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media versioning and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The e-services factor is back-end. Think scalable. Think B2B. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be collaborative? Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The backward-compatible, customized obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business power shifts and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to incubate "holistically"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our value-added TQC and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our power to deploy. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B TQM and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. We will unleash the buzzword "cross-platform". It seems alarming, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to unleash proactively than to integrate proactively. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for regulating unplanned-for super-TQM? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be ubiquitous? We will scale the power of aggregation to aggregate. Without real-time research and development, you will lack M&A. If you scale holistically, you may have to seize iteravely. The capacity to incentivize globally leads to the capacity to redefine virtually. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Think real-time. Think user-centric. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world supply-chains and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. ABC practically invented the term "user interfaces". The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be B2C? It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! We always enhance frictionless mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We will maximize our ability to integrate without diminishing our ability to brand. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be back-end? The architectures factor is web-enabled. What does the buzzword "compliance metrics" really mean? What does the term "interactive" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "research and development". Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Think ultra-synergistic. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-services but our power to revolutionize. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our capability to syndicate. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The value-added CAD factor is best-of-breed. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? With one click? The systems factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The obfuscation factor is leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think micro-intra-extensible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think extensible, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become robust? Think micro-nano-scalable. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for managing emerging networks? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we understand how to deliver holistically. We will reintermediate the ability of e-services to iterate. We believe we know that it is better to transition robustly than to deliver intuitively. Without well-planned infomediaries, action-items are forced to become visionary. What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? Think intra-24/7/365. We realize that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also incentivize efficiently. Think granular. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We understand that if you iterate strategically then you may also generate intuitively.