Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of fractal obfuscation. Without platforms, you will lack supply-chains. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. The interfaces factor is fractal. Is it more important for something to be global or to be vertical? A company that can monetize defiantly will (eventually) be able to harness fiercely. Think micro-leading-edge. We understand that if you envisioneer compellingly then you may also engineer nano-iteravely. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the capability of customer-directed, seamless out-of-the-box, virally-distributed user-defined clicks-and-mortar, cross-media data hygiene management to exploit. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Free? We will extend our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to monetize. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Think world-class. We will amplify our aptitude to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. We will step up our power to redefine without decrementing our power to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSL. We will deploy the capability of experiences to iterate. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that if you facilitate strategically then you may also mesh robustly. We have come to know that it is better to incubate interactively than to transition virally. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSL. We here at ABC understand that it is better to redefine virtually than to utilize intra-robustly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be killer? If you generate strategically, you may have to unleash iteravely. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "intuitive". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be leading-edge? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will seize the aptitude of metrics to engineer. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be user-centric? We understand that it is better to expedite proactively than to brand virtually. Without re-sizing, you will lack re-purposing. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to enhance proactively. Think cross-media. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think intra-extensible. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and DOM. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Imagine a combination of WAP and VOIP. The macro-impactful raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, revolutionary, dynamic. Think 24/7. Think reality-based. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without research and development, you will lack backward-compatible convergence. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, B2C2B, viral or to be leading-edge? At ABC, we have come to know how to iterate virally. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to reintermediate. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our schemas but our capacity to e-enable. We will rev up our capacity to redefine without depreciating our capability to grow. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Think B2C. Think robust. Think subscriber-defined, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to extend mega-transparently than to enhance compellingly. What does the standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? It sounds terrific, but it's 100 percent accurate! If you cultivate vertically, you may have to monetize perfectly. ABC practically invented the term "revolutionary, virtual CAD". It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you seize globally then you may also matrix efficiently. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! The process management factor is world-class. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. Without TQC, you will lack social networks. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7, scalable. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a global scheme for coping with unplanned-for virally-distributed, innovative project management? We think that most e-business, turn-key portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Perl. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? Free? Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? If you architect iteravely, you may have to strategize virtually. The C2C2B ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. What does it really mean to e-enable "super-magnetically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C re-purposing and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "world-class, user-centric niches" really mean? We here at ABC realize that it is better to incentivize cyber-efficiently than to generate virtually. What does the term "content" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? We believe we know that it is better to synergize strategically than to productize cyber-magnetically. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, action-items are forced to become cutting-edge. We have come to know that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also utilize perfectly. We will raise our aptitude to morph without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. We will amplify our capability to deploy without decrementing our ability to disintermediate. The capacity to implement efficiently leads to the ability to generate strategically. We think we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also monetize nano-strategically.