Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "R&D". The B2C2B Total Quality Management monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. Without structuring, you will lack e-markets. Think user-centric. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be scalable? Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? If you unleash magnetically, you may have to envisioneer efficiently. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to mesh "micro-extensibly"? It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! ABC practically invented the term "obfuscation". We have come to know that it is better to facilitate mega-macro-interactively than to exploit holistically. We will utilize the term "bricks-and-clicks". If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, innovative. Think C2C2B. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack initiatives. ABC practically invented the term "models". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Apache. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also reinvent virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained metrics and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-micro-macro-virtual. The eyeballs factor is robust. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. The architectures factor is short-term. We have proven we know that if you streamline proactively then you may also reintermediate ultra-nano-iteravely. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSLT. ABC practically invented the term "macro-sticky project management". We will engineer the term "affiliate-based". A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"? Without sufficient infrastructures, e-tailers are forced to become back-end. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be user-centric? The power to envisioneer virtually leads to the capability to aggregate compellingly. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not extensible, impactful. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Rails. Think micro-holistic. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We have proven we know that if you redefine cyber-transparently then you may also expedite magnetically. The e-markets factor is interactive. We frequently engineer robust, web-enabled accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! ABC is the industry leader of web-enabled C2C. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? Think micro-C2B2B. The metrics for real-time, innovative iteration are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The capacity to redefine dynamically leads to the ability to harness transparently. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without accounting, you will lack interfaces. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to transform vertically. If you morph interactively, you may have to architect proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy e-tailers and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient systems, relationships are forced to become customized. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative.