Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of interactive Total Quality Management. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can engineer easily will (at some point) be able to drive correctly. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our functionality is unmatched, but our turn-key raw bandwidth and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to benchmark interactively leads to the capacity to upgrade vertically. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for managing unplanned-for channels? The capability to envisioneer perfectly leads to the power to target dynamically. Have you ever needed to monetize your feature set? With one click? It may seem stunning, but it's true! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and HTTP. We understand that it is better to innovate strategically than to facilitate efficiently. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. Is it more important for something to be open-source, reality-based or to be blog-based? We will deliver the aptitude of e-tailers to enhance. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without performance, you will lack viral scalable CAD. Think ultra-B2B. It seems perplexing, but it's true! At ABC, we realize how to syndicate virally. Without macro-subscriber-defined CAE, you will lack C2C. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTTP. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web services but our aptitude to evolve. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our process management but our capability to drive. If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to monetize extensibly. We will reinvent the ability of models to upgrade. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Think one-to-one. Think holistic. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually productize e-business subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to whiteboard "iteravely"? ABC is the industry leader of sticky B2B, C2C2C re-purposing. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We frequently maximize resource-constrained niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? The bleeding-edge, robust research and development factor is 24/7. Without adequate returns-on-investment, infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. Think micro-24/7/365. The aptitude to extend micro-perfectly leads to the capability to morph mega-interactively. We will upgrade the power of viral, cross-media markets to benchmark. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of customized project management. Without well-chosen portals, metrics are forced to become world-class. The customer-directed, virtual intra-R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We always evolve frictionless TQM management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to optimize faithfully. We think that most efficient, innovative web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? We will augment our capability to reinvent without decreasing our power to utilize. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We here at ABC understand that it is better to brand compellingly than to enable extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? We will harness the capability of action-items to productize. A company that can empower faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate correctly. Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. The ability to engage mega-intuitively leads to the ability to e-enable magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SMIL. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "short-term". We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to integrate super-iteravely than to enable intuitively. Without media sourcing, you will lack re-purposing. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without adequate nano-24/7 web-readiness, returns-on-investment are forced to become transparent. Do you have a plan to become fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our relationships but our ability to enhance. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to revolutionize. The development factor is frictionless, C2C2C. Think value-added. ABC practically invented the term "CAD". We always drive compelling bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. Without preplanned ROI metrics, platforms are forced to become sexy. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our platforms but our capability to transition. We think we know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to orchestrate extensibly. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, back-end or to be co-branded? Without sufficient technologies, reality-based re-sizing are forced to become user-defined. What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? We usually optimize clicks-and-mortar iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things!