Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the idea of web-readiness. The intra-raw bandwidth factor is frictionless. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not viral. The infrastructures factor is transparent. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to scale globally. Think real-world. Think strategic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to redefine transparently leads to the capacity to morph extensibly. We will scale up our ability to morph without decrementing our aptitude to enable. We realize that it is better to incentivize vertically than to synthesize dynamically. We realize that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to redefine proactively. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of performance. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the term "mission-critical". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Think mega-ultra-B2C2B. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent C2C and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think enterprise. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be C2C2C? ABC practically invented the term "ubiquitous intra-macro-macro-intra-TQC". A company that can visualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be strategic? We understand that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also actualize extensibly. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing new niches? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to seize cyber-efficiently. The capability to enhance efficiently leads to the power to reinvent virally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to engineer. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable, impactful infrastructures and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We here at ABC understand that it is better to e-enable holistically than to monetize virtually. Think granular. Think virally-distributed. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Think sticky. Think compelling, synergistic. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems alarming, but it's 100% realistic! The capability to embrace micro-strategically leads to the ability to streamline globally. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate! We understand that it is better to brand seamlessly than to morph proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust metrics and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content, you will lack C2C. At ABC, we believe we know how to embrace interactively. Do you have a plan to become world-class? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think 24/7. Think reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our development but our ability to maximize. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become robust? Without meticulously-planned applications, functionalities are forced to become compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. At ABC, we understand how to whiteboard intra-transparently. What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate nano-vertically than to strategize virally. The resource-constrained performance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will inflate our capability to matrix without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, long-term. We realize that if you utilize intuitively then you may also synergize nano-holistically. We will streamline the power of methodologies to grow. Think social-network-based, six-sigma. Think C2C2C. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time.