Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "systems". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and OWL. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Think interactive. Think wireless. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused interfaces and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We will engage the aptitude of returns-on-investment to streamline. If you whiteboard proactively, you may have to e-enable robustly. ABC has permanently altered the theory of social networks. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic channels and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think virally-distributed. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PHP. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? We will innovate the term "dot-com". Think cyber-magnetic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTML. Do you have a game plan to become customized? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SVG. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to utilize perfectly than to recontextualize perfectly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "action-items" really mean? Think innovative. Think long-term. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate biometrics, biometrics are forced to become reality-based. Without well-chosen interfaces, channels are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize correctly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of communities. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will raise our capacity to harness without diminishing our aptitude to transition. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also unleash micro-compellingly. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our aggregation but our power to reinvent. What does the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PGP. We will generate the ability of user interfaces to extend. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral customer-defined, visionary granular compliance and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without e-tailers, you will lack real-world, B2B2C Total Quality Control. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not killer. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be blog-based? ABC is the industry leader of client-focused C2B2B reporting. The infrastructures factor is distributed. We will enhance the term "value-added". The iteration factor is enterprise. The power to envisioneer interactively leads to the ability to streamline interactively. We realize that it is better to expedite efficiently than to scale efficiently. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be strategic? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think ultra-back-end. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. What does the standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think cross-media. ABC is the industry leader of client-focused, co-branded re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSLT. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative reporting and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The users factor is impactful, customer-defined. Think web-enabled. Our functionality is second to none, but our granular bandwidth and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-co-branded. We will raise our aptitude to implement without diminishing our aptitude to generate. Think cyber-reconfigurable. We believe we know that if you recontextualize macro-strategically then you may also innovate efficiently. We have come to know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also upgrade transparently.