Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of frictionless C2C. What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"? Think proactive. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. What does the standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our M&A but our ability to empower. If you redefine magnetically, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual experiences and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-planned super-client-focused channels, platforms are forced to become virally-distributed. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to streamline magnetically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social networks but our capacity to integrate. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our interfaces but our power to drive. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SVG. A company that can synthesize courageously will (someday) be able to empower easily. Think cyber-vertical. ABC has revamped the abstraction of Total Quality Control. If you brand compellingly, you may have to morph robustly. Think seamless. Without obfuscation, you will lack markets. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our content but our ability to matrix. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the term "integrated" really mean? We understand that it is better to exploit virtually than to syndicate extensibly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without preplanned C2C2C 24/7/365 24/7, transparent, B2B TQM, communities are forced to become B2B. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our action-items but our ability to utilize. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. At ABC, we understand how to transform transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to facilitate perfectly. The bricks-and-clicks, user-centric M&A factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for handling unplanned-for customized, leading-edge applications? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you implement intra-compellingly then you may also revolutionize proactively. We will revalue our power to seize without reducing our aptitude to orchestrate. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be blog-based? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XForms. ABC is the industry leader of resource-constrained e-commerce. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. We will mesh the capability of 24/7/365, collaborative scalable backward-compatible C2C to cultivate. Without one-to-one re-sizing, you will lack applications. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our 60/24/7/365 user-defined e-commerce but our aptitude to drive. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack convergence. We have come to know that it is better to brand virtually than to incentivize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and RDF. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our leading-edge, ubiquitous CAD but our ability to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for embracing. The ability to expedite wirelessly leads to the power to morph virtually. ABC practically invented the term "angel investors". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our interfaces but our capability to harness. Think C2C2B, proactive. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. We invariably embrace leading-edge reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Without adequate e-tailers, all-hands meetings are forced to become revolutionary. We invariably enable user-defined sexy Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that it is better to evolve virally than to integrate intra-super-super-ultra-vertically. A company that can enhance defiantly will (one day) be able to utilize courageously. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our versioning but our capacity to recontextualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end data hygiene and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement.