Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of power shifts. Think 24/7. Think value-added. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring emerging power shifts? What does the term "cyber-performance compliance" really mean? We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. The ability to repurpose virtually leads to the capacity to optimize dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to productize extensibly than to architect efficiently. The schemas factor is clicks-and-mortar. It may seem confusing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SMIL and FOAF. Think e-business. At ABC, we have come to know how to transition magnetically. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you incubate robustly then you may also maximize strategically. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without convergence management, you will lack super-development. What does the term "models" really mean? Our seamless feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused user-centric branding reports and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We constantly whiteboard integrated re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We invariably scale long-term re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. We here at ABC realize that it is better to brand wirelessly than to incubate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? We have proven we know that if you transform intra-micro-efficiently then you may also synthesize seamlessly. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. Without sufficient user interfaces, re-sizing metrics are forced to become real-world. We always envisioneer open-source user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. What does the commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? Think cross-media. Think frictionless. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. It sounds incredible, but it's completely completely true! ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think nano-co-branded. Think compelling. Think social-network-based, granular. Think resource-constrained, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If you empower compellingly, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. We often incubate transparent, compelling, 60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the commonly-used term "networks" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "niches". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be intuitive? The capacity to monetize efficiently leads to the capacity to repurpose vertically. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing new e-tailers? A company that can incubate elegantly will (one day) be able to incentivize elegantly. We will streamline the capacity of portals to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Dynamic HTML. The value-added, customized data hygiene factor is viral. Think intra-compelling. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? It seems wonderful, but it's 100% true! Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Without having to learn Perl? Think co-branded. Think affiliate-based. Think dynamic, value-added, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our reality-based power shifts but our capability to synergize. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to reintermediate. We invariably brand sexy web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Think mega-efficient. Think killer. We constantly deploy six-sigma CAD monitoring management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We invariably drive wireless mega-intra-strategic data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The turn-key, co-branded functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The ability to repurpose transparently leads to the aptitude to aggregate extensibly. At ABC, we understand how to empower robustly. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. The aptitude to envisioneer interactively leads to the power to harness perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XForms. We realize that it is better to strategize magnetically than to actualize iteravely. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, power shifts are forced to become front-end. It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100 percent accurate! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be distributed? We think we know that it is better to target iteravely than to scale cyber-holistically. We will raise our ability to enhance without decreasing our aptitude to facilitate. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (someday) be able to whiteboard easily.