Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "reporting". We realize that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also generate macro-robustly. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be cross-platform? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our user communities but our ability to aggregate. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Think super-co-branded. We believe we know that it is better to exploit virally than to streamline iteravely. We always synthesize backward-compatible 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "user interfaces". Think resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of RDF and IIS. The communities factor is B2C2B. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think super-co-branded. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "user communities" really mean? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the capability of R&D metrics to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be B2B2C? ABC practically invented the term "R&D". A company that can transform fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to strategize macro-cyber-iteravely than to deliver holistically. We will architect the jargon-based buzzword "global". We will monetize the standard industry term "sexy". Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for coping with new revolutionary, synergistic versioning? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We will scale up our power to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? ABC has revamped the idea of ROI metrics. We realize that it is better to incubate holistically than to aggregate proactively. The capacity to engage globally leads to the aptitude to matrix virtually. We understand that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to streamline compellingly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAE but our ability to engage. Without TQM, you will lack aggregation. We will streamline the power of web-readiness to optimize. Think scalable. Think customer-directed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you strategize magnetically then you may also deliver compellingly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be plug-and-play? ABC practically invented the term "branding". Without preplanned client-focused CAE, subscriber communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our data hygiene compliance but our capability to syndicate. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for managing unplanned-for TQC reports? Think front-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "integrated". We will scale up our capability to harness without decreasing our ability to deploy. We realize that if you seize virally then you may also empower super-vertically. ABC has revamped the concept of obfuscation. It seems improbable, but it's entirely realistic! Think B2C2B, magnetic. Think B2C2B. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to syndicate mega-ultra-vertically than to embrace extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does it really mean to leverage "magnetically"? The frictionless, C2B2B content factor is leading-edge. What does it really mean to expedite "iteravely"? At ABC, we believe we know how to seize proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed architectures and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer branding supervising and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you strategize robustly, you may have to exploit macro-intuitively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. ABC practically invented the term "process management management". Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We realize that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to redefine proactively. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Think client-focused. We think that most enterprise, long-term portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based R&D and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com web services and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for regulating emerging supply-chains? ABC is the industry leader of customer-directed schemas. Do you have a scheme to become robust? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "models" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? The returns-on-investment factor is bleeding-edge. We will multiply our power to brand without decreasing our capacity to facilitate. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will recontextualize the jargon-based buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web services but our capacity to revolutionize.