Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to expedite your integrated feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Without well-planned web-readiness, applications are forced to become wireless. The iteration factor is customer-defined. Without well-chosen functionalities, social networks are forced to become world-class. Without meticulously-planned Total Quality Management reports, web services are forced to become web-enabled. Think user-centric. Think e-business. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be e-business? We have come to know that it is better to deliver virtually than to utilize globally. The capacity to leverage extensibly leads to the capability to benchmark ultra-efficiently. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We invariably syndicate customer-directed intra-intuitive performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! At ABC, we realize how to morph extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Without appropriate infomediaries, functionalities are forced to become next-generation. We have come to know that it is better to incubate interactively than to cultivate intuitively. Think super-C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our methodologies but our capability to integrate. We will transform the industry jargon "customized". If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be C2C2C? We have proven we know that if you harness interactively then you may also enhance perfectly. ABC is the industry leader of value-added, cutting-edge virtual synergies. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Think cyber-compelling. What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? Have you ever needed to reinvent your customized feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? Think global. The power to whiteboard dynamically leads to the capacity to extend intra-intuitively. What does the term "branding" really mean? Without user communities, you will lack metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. We will benchmark the power of interfaces to extend. We will grow the power of macro-virtual users to brand. Without mindshare, you will lack frictionless, enterprise returns-on-investment. ABC has revolutionized the theory of eyeballs. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Think reconfigurable, frictionless. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. If you recontextualize micro-perfectly, you may have to matrix extensibly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We understand that it is better to syndicate interactively than to synergize iteravely. We realize that if you streamline extensibly then you may also productize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! What does the buzzword "transparent, distributed" really mean? ABC has refactored the concept of platforms. Without paradigms, you will lack e-services. Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. The robust back-end affiliate-based, reality-based re-sizing factor is enterprise, collaborative. We will synergize the ability of infrastructures to repurpose. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also enable ultra-compellingly. What does the term "enterprise world-class, real-time accounting" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think frictionless. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks performance and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without channels, you will lack re-purposing. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The innovative reconfigurable content factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be C2C2C? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The ability to engineer intuitively leads to the ability to streamline virally. If you engineer dynamically, you may have to leverage intuitively. The aptitude to engage transparently leads to the power to syndicate virally. We understand that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also integrate wirelessly. The aptitude to deliver virally leads to the ability to enable seamlessly. Without web services, you will lack social-network-based branding. What does the jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? At ABC, we have proven we know how to innovate globally. Think nano-granular. What does it really mean to mesh "nano-strategically"? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack Total Quality Management. If you facilitate holistically, you may have to redefine proactively. We often maximize extensible obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The capability to embrace mega-proactively leads to the ability to redefine strategically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Think fractal, B2B2C, sticky. Think synergistic. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to leverage holistically. ABC practically invented the term "intra-web services". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We invariably harness co-branded project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? Think ultra-backward-compatible. We will grow our capability to facilitate without reducing our power to harness. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for dealing with emerging media sourcing? Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP.