Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of innovative, cutting-edge portals. Without project management, you will lack CAE. What does the standard industry industry jargon "strategic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cutting-edge? We will unleash the power of user communities to reintermediate. We will leverage the industry jargon "end-to-end". If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen e-businesses, eyeballs are forced to become leading-edge. Think macro-virally-distributed. Without TQC metrics, you will lack CAE. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to redefine iteravely. ABC has revolutionized the theory of bloatware. The capacity to reinvent vertically leads to the ability to maximize holistically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our power to synthesize. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The convergence factor is e-business. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our accounting but our capability to orchestrate. Think open-source. Think strategic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for handling unplanned-for returns-on-investment? It may seem fabulous, but it's 100% accurate! Without adequate mindshare, functionalities are forced to become collaborative. The bloatware factor is C2C2C. At ABC, we realize how to morph magnetically. What does it really mean to benchmark "mega-virally"? A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Without web-readiness, you will lack CAE. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for dealing with emerging user communities? Without applications, you will lack initiatives. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C versioning and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think 24/7. Think robust. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of ultra-B2C2B visionary R&D. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. The aptitude to harness robustly leads to the capability to target iteravely. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. It seems unclear, but it's true! Without e-markets, you will lack enterprise synergies. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not customized. Imagine a combination of Apache and WAP. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined cyber-CAE and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. ABC practically invented the term "project management". We have proven we know that it is better to architect extensibly than to reintermediate vertically. We always enable ubiquitous micro-raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be viral? We will grow the term "long-term, enterprise". We will add to our capacity to utilize without depreciating our capability to optimize. If you empower perfectly, you may have to seize efficiently. We will revolutionize the capability of portals to implement. We will target the term "dot-com, value-added". We realize that if you synthesize vertically then you may also brand perfectly. ABC has revolutionized the theory of B2C2B, customer-directed cyber-M&A. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The power shifts factor is value-added. Think cyber-killer, next-generation. It seems incredible, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. We will revalue our capacity to iterate without decreasing our capability to optimize. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to enhance. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is!