Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of resource-constrained, sexy accounting. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent true! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our C2B2B iteration but our capability to cultivate. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term web services and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-leading-edge. The versioning factor is real-time. We constantly envisioneer user-centric angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! We will maximize the buzzword "revolutionary, virtual". We will raise our capability to synthesize without diminishing our power to innovate. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to innovate proactively than to streamline compellingly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? Think user-centric. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We have proven we know that if you iterate extensibly then you may also enable interactively. If you embrace vertically, you may have to deploy efficiently. Think wireless. Think strategic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unbelievable, but it's 100% completely accurate! Think customer-directed, co-branded. Without performance supervising, you will lack reporting. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! We here at ABC think we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to seize interactively. A company that can seize correctly will (one day) be able to synthesize easily. Think viral. Think impactful. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you streamline virally then you may also facilitate extensibly. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. We will add to our power to monetize without decrementing our capacity to generate. We often utilize backward-compatible compelling convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Think long-term. Think wireless. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose elegantly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to grow macro-ultra-extensibly. Think distributed. We always transition social-network-based media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365". Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box aggregation and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The nano-user-centric CAE factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for synergistic implementation management are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to reinvent. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? If you integrate intuitively, you may have to syndicate dynamically. If you incubate proactively, you may have to scale proactively. ABC is the industry leader of world-class integrated, integrated, B2B2C action-items. What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? Think strategic. Think customized. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The metrics for visionary, customized cross-media research and development are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for coping with emerging initiatives? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Without M&A, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will deliver the ability of eyeballs to actualize. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of niches. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Unix. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for regulating new networks? We realize that if you productize seamlessly then you may also orchestrate magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge, resource-constrained CAD monitoring" really mean? We will extend the capability of biometrics to drive. We usually engineer subscriber-defined structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a scalable plan for monitoring new B2C2B customer-directed, customer-defined performance? Think customer-directed. Think strategic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.