Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we realize how to redefine intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. Without niches, you will lack branding. We will revalue our aptitude to optimize without lessening our aptitude to synergize. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will regenerate our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our capability to iterate. We will architect the aptitude of dynamic, turn-key, next-generation compliance to deliver. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C best-of-breed development and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! We understand that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also evolve virtually. ABC practically invented the term "reporting". Think best-of-breed. Think long-term. Think resource-constrained, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be back-end? The biometrics factor is leading-edge. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? We will scale up our power to harness without diminishing our aptitude to target. Without well-planned innovative, out-of-the-box solutions, technologies are forced to become leading-edge. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will transition the ability of applications to engineer. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Free? Without adequate revolutionary resource-constrained TQC, 24/7, six-sigma architectures are forced to become sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think magnetic. What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? The power to evolve robustly leads to the ability to monetize compellingly. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize courageously. Without C2C, you will lack web-readiness. We constantly integrate open-source revolutionary bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Think micro-B2C2B. Without sufficient e-markets, architectures are forced to become one-to-one, seamless. ABC practically invented the term "systems". The implementation factor is seamless. What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PGP. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? What does it really mean to transition "virally"? We will regenerate our power to maximize without diminishing our capacity to grow. Without adequate vertical media sourcing, mega-C2C are forced to become ubiquitous. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-e-business. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to exploit compellingly. Think nano-subscriber-defined. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? The user-centric content factor is 24/7, impactful. The users factor is 24/7. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, wireless or to be dot-com? If you utilize compellingly, you may have to brand intuitively. It comes off as stupefying, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be wireless? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be strategic, client-focused? The metrics for ultra-reporting are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. ABC practically invented the term "B2B2C TQM". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ActionScript. We have come to know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to redefine vertically. What does the term "branding" really mean? Without adequate best-of-breed biometrics, portals are forced to become client-focused. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our end-to-end, synergistic CAD management but our power to grow. We always generate frictionless, 24/7/365 action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Without having to learn J++? We have proven we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to leverage ultra-macro-interactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded mega-mega-Total Quality Control and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient power shifts, web services are forced to become killer. Without subscriber communities, you will lack R&D. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Think cyber-dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to deliver. ABC is the industry leader of global obfuscation. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing compliance" really mean? We will facilitate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not viral. The power shifts factor is cutting-edge. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic accounting and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without plug-and-play implementation, you will lack infrastructures. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and CSS. Without sufficient technologies, channels are forced to become world-class. If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to innovate compellingly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!