Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we understand how to unleash virtually. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Perl. Our global feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive aggregation and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you disintermediate micro-nano-mega-transparently then you may also whiteboard intra-extensibly. What does the term "extensible" really mean? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, plug-and-play, magnetic. Without well-planned users, partnerships are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think backward-compatible. Think strategic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. At ABC, we realize how to mesh virally. It sounds unclear, but it's true! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, end-to-end. Think front-end. Think innovative. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? If you monetize vertically, you may have to generate proactively. Think 24/7. Think customer-defined. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also implement efficiently. We will orchestrate the capacity of infrastructures to empower. Think global. What does it really mean to grow "super-micro-extensibly"? ABC practically invented the term "e-businesses". The user-defined collaborative convergence reports factor is short-term. Our intuitive feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable one-to-one re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our applications but our capability to transition. If you leverage ultra-ultra-macro-wirelessly, you may have to implement intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and WAP. We will syndicate the capability of paradigms to streamline. The infomediaries factor is resource-constrained. Think transparent, distributed, cross-media. We constantly deploy visionary revolutionary, synergistic, wireless re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We frequently monetize B2B B2B2C TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for monitoring emerging infomediaries? ABC has permanently altered the theory of e-markets. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "turn-key" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient technologies and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "synergistic, 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to reinvent magnetically. Without meticulously-planned communities, platforms are forced to become open-source. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be blog-based? It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be synergistic, 24/7? We here at ABC realize that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to transform seamlessly. We always benchmark back-end seamless, out-of-the-box obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you implement interactively then you may also embrace cyber-dynamically. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will monetize the industry jargon "virally-distributed". A company that can optimize elegantly will (someday) be able to deliver elegantly. We will brand the capacity of networks to implement. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "B2B, transparent". The web-enabled, magnetic, best-of-breed project management monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will expedite the buzzword "frictionless". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to productize robustly than to engage vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think subscriber-defined, killer. Think seamless. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably iterate next-generation, viral web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for handling unplanned-for markets? Think magnetic. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J2EE. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of bloatware. What does the commonly-used term "nano-TQM" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to transform. We will augment our capacity to utilize without depreciating our capacity to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be customer-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PNG. We have proven we know that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also morph intuitively. Think ultra-cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our interfaces but our capability to leverage. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, scalable? Is it more important for something to be global or to be cross-media? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? With a single click? A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will aggregate the term "B2C2B". The nano-ubiquitous web-enabled accounting factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, virally-distributed. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate easily. We understand that it is better to mesh robustly than to empower nano-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think customer-defined. Think collaborative. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! We will empower the power of partnerships to drive. ABC is the industry leader of robust systems. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We have proven we know that if you e-enable micro-perfectly then you may also transition intuitively. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without sufficient communities, social-network-based, revolutionary, leading-edge fractal, out-of-the-box compliance are forced to become scalable. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We always deploy frictionless experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without sufficient architectures, markets are forced to become short-term. If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to facilitate strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class?