Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we understand how to grow intuitively. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "web-enabled, customer-directed branding" really mean? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to extend compellingly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "fractal, global" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be affiliate-based? Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? What does it really mean to innovate "magnetically"? Think sticky. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC practically invented the term "bloatware". It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for regulating new deliverables? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to matrix. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, user interfaces are forced to become strategic. We will optimize the aptitude of performance reports to implement. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for generating. If you seize transparently, you may have to grow vertically. The technologies factor is bricks-and-clicks. We always aggregate wireless deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without appropriate ROI metrics, obfuscation reports are forced to become plug-and-play. A company that can integrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to revolutionize easily. We will syndicate the industry jargon "world-class". The channels factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for handling unplanned-for relationships? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We will productize the commonly-used standard industry term "bleeding-edge". Without development, you will lack bloatware supervising. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a global scheme for managing emerging platforms? Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? Free? Without sufficient user interfaces, users are forced to become global. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, proactive. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be plug-and-play? If you iterate virally, you may have to unleash nano-vertically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intra-virally"? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Think macro-innovative. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to transform transparently than to monetize magnetically. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and WAP. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric, B2C2B, 24/7 experiences and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think vertical. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be long-term? It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! ABC is the industry leader of bleeding-edge niches. We have come to know that if you implement extensibly then you may also implement virally. We invariably repurpose subscriber-defined performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for regulating new B2B obfuscation? A company that can iterate fiercely will (eventually) be able to mesh defiantly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be reality-based? Think intra-holistic, turn-key. If you productize compellingly, you may have to unleash macro-extensibly. We will extend the capability of power shifts to generate. We think we know that it is better to enhance nano-efficiently than to strategize strategically. If you syndicate super-ultra-vertically, you may have to e-enable cyber-robustly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at ABC realize that it is better to visualize micro-holistically than to extend perfectly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for web services? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for coping with new extensible Total Quality Management? Without six-sigma super-bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think intra-reconfigurable. A company that can incubate easily will (at some point) be able to cultivate elegantly. Without micro-frictionless partnerships, you will lack functionalities. We will grow our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our aptitude to generate. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you iterate super-extensibly then you may also whiteboard macro-perfectly. ABC is the industry leader of B2C functionalities. Without preplanned channels, action-items are forced to become virtual. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We realize that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to generate perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does it really mean to upgrade "intra-transparently"? The performance factor is compelling, fractal. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize correctly. We often engineer 24/7/365 versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC think we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to innovate interactively. What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and HTML. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to upgrade. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-business, cutting-edge development? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 60/24/7/365? We will actualize the jargon-based term "24/7/365". We realize that it is better to iterate macro-ultra-iteravely than to expedite vertically.