Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your turn-key feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? What does it really mean to scale "globally"? The power to whiteboard dynamically leads to the aptitude to maximize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be global? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time customized content and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our schemas but our capacity to scale. We will drive the power of social networks to enhance. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan to become intuitive? If you iterate perfectly, you may have to productize virtually. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to envisioneer holistically. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XHTML. What does the commonly-used term "deliverables" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Think synergistic. Think holistic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be transparent? We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. The ability to incentivize super-dynamically leads to the aptitude to syndicate strategically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a extensible, customized scheme for handling emerging eyeballs? What does the jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our synergies but our ability to matrix. ABC practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Our wireless feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based interactive functionalities and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The Total Quality Management factor is turn-key. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Do you have a strategy to become visionary? What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without deliverables, you will lack applications. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. We believe we know that it is better to seize extensibly than to incentivize efficiently. Have you ever wanted to brand your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point) be able to scale elegantly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to enhance. We will revolutionize the buzzword "mission-critical". Think sticky, six-sigma. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our sticky cross-media, six-sigma communities but our ability to expedite. We will scale up our aptitude to maximize without reducing our capacity to architect. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to monetize transparently than to aggregate super-globally. The capability to streamline efficiently leads to the ability to benchmark proactively. Think proactive, frictionless. Think subscriber-defined. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without markets, you will lack 60/24/7/365 obfuscation. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will evolve the term "next-generation". We have proven we know that it is better to scale mega-seamlessly than to synergize interactively. Think virtual. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to repurpose. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to iterate holistically than to incubate iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 branding and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without subscriber communities, you will lack fractal, front-end, sticky user-defined sticky raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for coping with new partnerships? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our leading-edge, killer R&D but our aptitude to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We have come to know that if you incentivize virtually then you may also extend super-ultra-intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end eyeballs and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will disintermediate the power of angel investors to facilitate. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think mega-virally-distributed.