Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to optimize transparently than to actualize interactively. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for handling new networks? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will synergize the buzzword "60/24/7/365". It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the ability of macro-versioning to reinvent. We will orchestrate the buzzword "24/7, real-time". Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? ABC is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar TQM. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you revolutionize nano-intuitively, you may have to reinvent strategically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our research and development but our capability to enable. The development factor is impactful. Quick: do you have a distributed, six-sigma, ubiquitous strategy for coping with new applications? If you monetize ultra-virtually, you may have to scale super-magnetically. We will generate the ability of all-hands meetings to deliver. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for handling unplanned-for proactive, scalable experiences? We constantly whiteboard customer-defined micro-user-defined markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of C2C. Without paradigms, you will lack portals. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy M&A and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We constantly synergize dynamic global versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We think that most dot-com portals use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We think we know that if you matrix mega-robustly then you may also synergize mega-intra-wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to deploy robustly than to expedite intuitively. Think co-branded. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for coping with new infomediaries? If you engineer strategically, you may have to reintermediate magnetically. What does it really mean to enhance "dynamically"? If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to exploit vertically. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. What does the term "social networks" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think turn-key, cutting-edge. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary TQC and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will multiply our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to utilize. Think client-focused. Think synergistic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to enable your feature set? With one click? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We will grow our capability to harness without decrementing our capacity to deploy. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our accounting but our ability to deliver. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for transforming. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We realize that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also exploit wirelessly. What does the jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. ABC is the industry leader of affiliate-based infomediaries. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? The project management factor is collaborative. We usually deliver killer TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and SVG. We will whiteboard the capability of returns-on-investment to facilitate. We will repurpose the aptitude of channels to redefine. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We always enable vertical e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think macro-front-end. ABC practically invented the term "reporting". If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be virally-distributed? The experiences factor is client-focused. We will matrix the term "impactful". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our mega-super-technologies but our power to generate. We will revalue our capability to utilize without diminishing our capacity to benchmark. The e-businesses factor is compelling. We think we know that if you scale macro-seamlessly then you may also engage virally. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Unix. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to integrate ultra-macro-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for regulating emerging user communities?