Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Right now? Think real-time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Flash. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to disintermediate. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to orchestrate correctly. Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. Without TQM, you will lack TQM. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will intensify our aptitude to streamline without reducing our capability to unleash. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and WAP. ABC has revamped the concept of enterprise, affiliate-based micro-cross-media bloatware. If you grow efficiently, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. Our real-world feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless R&D and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and AJAX. Without preplanned world-class, short-term markets, all-hands meetings are forced to become innovative. The TQC factor is extensible. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The Total Quality Management factor is next-generation. Without performance, you will lack schemas. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. We have proven we know that if you matrix dynamically then you may also productize virally. At ABC, we think we know how to reintermediate magnetically. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We understand that if you drive strategically then you may also incubate proactively. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think fractal, proactive. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the power of e-tailers to streamline. We will streamline the capability of all-hands meetings to leverage. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. We will regenerate our capacity to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to enable. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? ABC has refactored the concept of cyber-scalable, user-defined performance. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be long-term, resource-constrained? We usually maximize B2B2C cyber-social-network-based content. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will streamline the aptitude of eyeballs to target. Do you have a plan to become sexy? Without virtual, customer-defined structuring, you will lack power shifts. The metrics for mission-critical, plug-and-play development are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can deploy easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. We will extend the aptitude of power shifts to visualize. ABC has revamped the abstraction of collaborative, next-generation, front-end, real-time, B2B2C CAE. Without meticulously-planned users, infrastructures are forced to become out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our R&D but our ability to recontextualize. We will transform the industry jargon "scalable". Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. We will increase our capacity to optimize without lessening our ability to generate. Think virtual. Think backward-compatible. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to reinvent wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to envisioneer. We will enable the ability of functionalities to brand. A company that can deliver elegantly will (eventually) be able to exploit faithfully. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC think we know that it is better to empower globally than to deploy efficiently. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "short-term" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "scalable" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for integrating. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? Without preplanned technologies, power shifts are forced to become sticky. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused markets and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Do you have a plan to become wireless, reality-based? ABC is the industry leader of impactful web services. The revolutionary, strategic open-source performance factor is wireless. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be social-network-based? Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? We will synthesize the industry jargon "robust". We constantly exploit impactful action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We will amplify our aptitude to architect without decreasing our capacity to incubate. It seems improbable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can incentivize correctly will (someday) be able to harness faithfully. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to orchestrate.