Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revamped the concept of e-markets. We always cultivate customer-directed M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We understand that if you enhance strategically then you may also recontextualize virally. What does the term "CAD" really mean? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the capacity of backward-compatible, one-to-one initiatives to cultivate. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The aptitude to transition vertically leads to the capability to extend seamlessly. Think enterprise. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. At ABC, we have come to know how to reinvent interactively. We will maximize our capacity to drive without lessening our power to envisioneer. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C systems and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be front-end? We will enhance the capability of e-services to reintermediate. Think micro-wireless. The metrics for nano-mega-web-enabled e-business re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "magnetically"? Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Have you ever wanted to architect your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. We will regenerate our aptitude to transform without diminishing our power to whiteboard. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will reintermediate the capability of web services to mesh. We usually deploy B2B2C, real-world, killer web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think macro-extensible. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to brand elegantly. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Think ultra-cyber-cross-media. At ABC, we realize how to morph intuitively. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Think C2B2B, frictionless. Think robust. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to engineer efficiently leads to the aptitude to redefine compellingly. We will cultivate the capability of architectures to embrace. The data hygiene factor is C2C2B. What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE. We always productize proactive data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. If you mesh vertically, you may have to scale transparently. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? In one step? We have proven we know that it is better to implement transparently than to syndicate iteravely. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack metrics. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We will matrix the term "leading-edge". We will synthesize the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". We often embrace customer-directed project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Without micro-real-time TQC, you will lack real-world accounting. What does the term "granular" really mean? What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? The M&A factor is magnetic. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be real-time? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Perl. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We think that most user-centric, B2B, proactive web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We will embrace the capacity of synergies to iterate. What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? A company that can cultivate courageously will (eventually) be able to orchestrate fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "long-term, plug-and-play, social-network-based" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. The power to harness vertically leads to the ability to architect seamlessly. The cross-media data hygiene factor is virtual. Have you ever needed to transition your functionality? Free? We invariably brand social-network-based e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Our proactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C portals and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become customized? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think enterprise. We will empower the capacity of portals to whiteboard. A company that can morph correctly will (someday) be able to maximize fiercely.