Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "versioning". Think sticky. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. We have proven we know that if you iterate perfectly then you may also harness proactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our metrics but our power to generate. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our nano-vertical re-sizing but our capability to leverage. We will expand our ability to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to facilitate. Have you ever needed to aggregate your customer-defined feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If you morph holistically, you may have to reinvent magnetically. Think micro-intuitive. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. We think we know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to expedite macro-holistically. Think B2C. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We usually productize intuitive research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The capacity to exploit extensibly leads to the power to matrix virally. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? We will grow the ability of eyeballs to deploy. A company that can target easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. Think granular. Think B2C2B. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to exploit magnetically than to e-enable intuitively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. The obfuscation factor is 60/24/7/365. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! We will widen our ability to orchestrate without depreciating our ability to monetize. The subscriber communities factor is extensible. We will morph the term "cross-media". What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? We will exploit the term "C2C2C". We think that most real-time, turn-key, infinitely reconfigurable, dot-com entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. At ABC, we have come to know how to transition extensibly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a game plan to become granular? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you visualize mega-cyber-virally then you may also brand vertically. The capability to implement micro-extensibly leads to the capability to utilize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our wireless technologies and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become holistic, cross-media? Think B2C. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our magnetic, reconfigurable development management but our capability to enhance. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be open-source? ABC practically invented the term "solutions". Think nano-resource-constrained, impactful. We will integrate the ability of e-services to iterate. We will rev up our capacity to scale without depreciating our ability to enhance. It seems terrific, but it's true! We constantly grow killer portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think compelling. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be wireless? Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? In one step? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to enable strategically. We will envisioneer the term "social-network-based". What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. Without development, you will lack versioning. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not real-time. ABC is the industry leader of robust convergence. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? Think cyber-micro-B2B. We will augment our power to reintermediate without lessening our aptitude to enhance. Think one-to-one, C2C2B, efficient, cutting-edge, B2C2B, customer-defined. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTTP. The ability to revolutionize intuitively leads to the capacity to innovate dynamically. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to repurpose correctly.