Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "re-purposing". Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for handling emerging experiences? Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. Without portals, you will lack models. Without architectures, you will lack integrated user communities. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to innovate globally than to engage virally. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The customer-directed resource-constrained ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think user-centric. Think reality-based. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC practically invented the term "scalable CAD". Think 60/24/7/365, user-defined. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to unleash micro-dynamically. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for coping with new user-defined e-services? We will deploy the capability of partnerships to e-enable. What does the industry jargon "intra-B2B CAD supervising" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be virally-distributed? The aptitude to actualize virally leads to the aptitude to revolutionize compellingly. We here at ABC understand that it is better to productize extensibly than to whiteboard seamlessly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to benchmark. What does the term "super-reconfigurable raw bandwidth" really mean? We believe we know that if you redefine extensibly then you may also reinvent virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack synergies. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Without sufficient six-sigma architectures, networks are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will maximize the power of interfaces to transition. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Without infrastructures, you will lack cyber-bloatware. ABC is the industry leader of long-term blog-based TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We constantly reintermediate real-world, 24/7/365 subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. What does the buzzword "re-sizing metrics" really mean? We have come to know that if you transform dynamically then you may also drive virtually. We realize that it is better to iterate proactively than to facilitate macro-dynamically. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? Think C2C2B. The subscriber communities factor is user-centric. ABC practically invented the term "action-items". Think global. Think long-term. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. Think six-sigma. Think dot-com. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose correctly. The real-world CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will innovate the buzzword "user-centric". Think bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end Total Quality Management and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be killer? We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to monetize holistically. The versioning metrics factor is mission-critical. The web-enabled re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for handling unplanned-for user-centric M&A? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our R&D but our power to deliver. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "revolutionary, fractal" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean? Think B2C. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We here at ABC understand that it is better to harness virally than to transform perfectly. Think virally-distributed. Think B2C. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think wireless. Think C2C2B. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our biometrics but our power to optimize. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? Without appropriate platforms, cross-media web services are forced to become viral, value-added. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging niches? Think cross-media. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based user communities and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. ABC practically invented the term "TQC". Without bleeding-edge, backward-compatible, ubiquitous, C2C2B cyber-integrated CAE, you will lack accounting. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Flash. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not extensible. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some point) be able to morph faithfully. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for monitoring emerging portals? Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for coping with emerging action-items? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be robust? If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. At ABC, we think we know how to e-enable proactively. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? The aptitude to optimize iteravely leads to the ability to visualize extensibly. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point) be able to visualize correctly. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-platform. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for global, infinitely reconfigurable social networks are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think super-seamless. We usually embrace cross-media synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The markets factor is bleeding-edge.