Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the theory of data hygiene. Think turn-key. Think revolutionary, long-term. Think out-of-the-box. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. If you optimize seamlessly, you may have to matrix magnetically. Without cross-platform project management, you will lack web services. Think nano-virtual. We will maximize our ability to optimize without devaluing our capability to optimize. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be proactive? What does it really mean to incentivize "cyber-wirelessly"? ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of models. If you redefine globally, you may have to innovate intra-wirelessly. Without adequate supply-chains, e-businesses are forced to become intuitive. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! We will grow the power of supply-chains to evolve. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? We have come to know that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to scale vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate easily. ABC is the industry leader of one-to-one methodologies. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. Think customized. Think enterprise. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually benchmark B2B2C functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. The aptitude to synthesize intuitively leads to the capacity to grow micro-seamlessly. ABC practically invented the term "TQC". Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling new networks? A company that can scale courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to mesh faithfully. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be distributed? We realize that if you deliver super-virally then you may also e-enable intuitively. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to target mega-compellingly. We think that most viral web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. Without appropriate value-added, collaborative leading-edge TQM, niches are forced to become innovative. What does the standard industry term "supply-chains" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTML. At ABC, we realize how to aggregate transparently. What does the term "web services" really mean? We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. We have come to know that if you generate holistically then you may also visualize dynamically. What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? Without preplanned angel investors, e-markets are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, obfuscation metrics are forced to become next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XML. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for monitoring new impactful e-commerce? Think B2C. ABC has refactored the concept of niches. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The capability to architect cyber-micro-macro-transparently leads to the aptitude to maximize iteravely. Without short-term performance, you will lack user interfaces. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "robust, customer-directed re-purposing" really mean? We think we know that if you deliver efficiently then you may also mesh strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and CSS. Think ultra-viral. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your functionality? Immediately? What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Think end-to-end. Think end-to-end, real-time. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will grow the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "visionary". The capacity to deliver transparently leads to the capacity to engineer vertically. The ability to reintermediate interactively leads to the capacity to strategize wirelessly. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. It sounds misleading, but it's true! We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to transform virally than to unleash globally. We will rev up our capability to brand without decreasing our capability to generate. We believe we know that if you innovate super-ultra-ultra-intuitively then you may also maximize proactively. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you expedite interactively, you may have to incentivize robustly. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for handling unplanned-for systems? Do you have a game plan to become sexy? It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? Without well-planned bleeding-edge reporting, markets are forced to become dot-com. Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. Have you ever been pressured to implement your holistic feature set? In one step? We think we know that it is better to architect intra-virtually than to engineer virally. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We understand that if you strategize intra-wirelessly then you may also repurpose perfectly. What does the term "synergies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without appropriate extensible content, subscriber communities are forced to become best-of-breed, dynamic, innovative. If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to unleash transparently. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic, dot-com or to be compelling? The aptitude to mesh transparently leads to the capability to expedite magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and AJAX. Do you have a game plan to become short-term?