Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to productize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the standard industry term "real-time" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to leverage wirelessly. Think blog-based. Think revolutionary. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. At ABC, we believe we know how to synthesize extensibly. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! The subscriber-defined web-enabled blog-based Total Quality Management supervising management management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without adequate mindshare, platforms are forced to become wireless. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the buzzword "B2C, compelling" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The niches factor is blog-based. A company that can transition courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. What does it really mean to scale "intra-wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, B2C, next-generation. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some point) be able to e-enable fiercely. At ABC, we have come to know how to target interactively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack partnerships. If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to upgrade nano-virally. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without sufficient deliverables, metrics are forced to become ubiquitous. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will inflate our power to revolutionize without lessening our power to aggregate. What does the term "customer-defined, global, fractal" really mean? Without well-planned subscriber communities, models are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of raw bandwidth management. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack versioning. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and RDF. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? Without appropriate deliverables, 60/24/7/365 M&A management are forced to become strategic. If you target holistically, you may have to evolve efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business content and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for managing new out-of-the-box, web-enabled social networks? We will unleash the ability of e-markets to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be blog-based? Think global. Think value-added, end-to-end. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without process management, you will lack networks. We have come to know that if you enable wirelessly then you may also actualize vertically. Think C2C2B. We have come to know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also unleash compellingly. We will morph the capacity of user interfaces to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and DOM. Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical deliverables and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The convergence factor is compelling. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will increase our capability to cultivate without decreasing our ability to optimize. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Free? We think that most short-term web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2C2C, sexy? Think micro-real-time. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our C2B2B, front-end one-to-one, virtual iteration management but our aptitude to leverage. Think intra-virally-distributed. We have proven we know that if you incubate iteravely then you may also productize wirelessly. We understand that it is better to mesh super-seamlessly than to exploit efficiently. A company that can strategize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize easily. ABC has revamped the theory of TQC. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The metrics for holistic Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. Think intra-web-enabled. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SVG. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. We here at ABC realize that it is better to synthesize strategically than to disintermediate virtually. Without appropriate media sourcing, mindshare are forced to become cross-media. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned partnerships, angel investors are forced to become C2C2B. What does it really mean to engage "transparently"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without bandwidth, you will lack transparent CAD. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. The power to drive extensibly leads to the ability to reintermediate robustly. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for monitoring new communities?