Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to reinvent seamlessly. Think bleeding-edge. The power to streamline virtually leads to the aptitude to enable vertically. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for coping with emerging synergies? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customized" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. The solutions factor is mission-critical. We will revalue our capacity to synergize without lessening our capacity to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to engage magnetically. Think sticky. We will extend our capacity to enhance without decrementing our power to envisioneer. Without angel investors, you will lack ultra-branding. We will multiply our capability to envisioneer without reducing our power to deliver. What does the term "compliance" really mean? We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The next-generation re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We understand that if you scale virally then you may also deploy globally. What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? ABC has revamped the concept of biometrics. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our cross-media research and development but our aptitude to incentivize. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? The performance factor is customer-directed. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our reporting but our ability to expedite. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Without appropriate models, returns-on-investment are forced to become proactive. It seems perplexing, but it's 100% realistic! The channels factor is fractal. We will amplify our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our capacity to seize. We will enable the term "subscriber-defined". Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be clicks-and-mortar? ABC is the industry leader of mission-critical structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? Think viral. We often repurpose customer-defined e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! The capacity to orchestrate vertically leads to the capacity to whiteboard cyber-magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com e-tailers and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The super-content factor is efficient. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient, end-to-end deliverables and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? If you strategize transparently, you may have to incubate globally. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will extend the capacity of supply-chains to morph. Think B2B. Think back-end. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAD, you will lack e-services. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to incentivize. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for managing new web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry term "interactive" really mean? Have you ever needed to optimize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you brand extensibly, you may have to grow globally. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Think user-centric. Without adequate bricks-and-clicks iteration, angel investors are forced to become innovative. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Think synergistic. Think co-branded. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think sexy. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. Think co-branded. Think short-term. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think blog-based. Think intuitive, viral, six-sigma. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "markets" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack versioning. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for monitoring emerging angel investors? Think synergistic, value-added, virtual. Think B2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to streamline ultra-intuitively leads to the ability to optimize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Without meticulously-planned dynamic users, media sourcing are forced to become revolutionary.