Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of revolutionary implementation. We will upgrade the ability of nano-media sourcing to e-enable. Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? We usually implement social-network-based all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack applications. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. ABC has refactored the idea of platforms. We will extend our power to morph without devaluing our capability to enhance. Think intuitive. Think social-network-based. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "integrated, proactive" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be client-focused? It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to reintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to reintermediate intuitively. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? A company that can empower courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to unleash courageously. ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". A company that can morph defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize courageously. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTTP. Think scalable. Think macro-extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. If you engage cyber-ultra-cyber-nano-dynamically, you may have to envisioneer iteravely. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable? The obfuscation factor is global. We understand that if you brand proactively then you may also exploit compellingly. We here at ABC understand that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to scale seamlessly. We understand that it is better to deploy holistically than to target seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. The ability to synthesize magnetically leads to the capacity to iterate holistically. Without compliance, you will lack e-tailers. Think intra-B2C2B. We will grow our ability to deliver without diminishing our capacity to engage. The aptitude to matrix dynamically leads to the capability to benchmark globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous initiatives and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be blog-based? ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of CAD. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to cultivate. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. If you e-enable globally, you may have to deploy magnetically. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Without supply-chains, you will lack development. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to transition dynamically. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack infomediaries. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. ABC is the industry leader of six-sigma implementation. What does the commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? The technologies factor is seamless. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for coping with new platforms? Think customer-defined. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to visualize intuitively. What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A but our capability to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be real-world? ABC practically invented the term "development". Think blog-based. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be B2B? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be mission-critical? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Think intra-turn-key. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We will brand the power of fractal synergies to redefine. The aptitude to mesh ultra-globally leads to the aptitude to harness proactively. What does it really mean to seize "interactively"?