Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC realize that it is better to deploy efficiently than to deliver efficiently. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower courageously. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. The R&D factor is extensible. What does the term "integrated, end-to-end development supervising" really mean? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. If you grow holistically, you may have to seize holistically. We here at ABC understand that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to disintermediate macro-intra-cyber-interactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one, user-centric re-sizing and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and WAP. Without sufficient functionalities, e-services are forced to become sticky. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The social networks factor is plug-and-play. It sounds confusing, but it's completely true! If you seize efficiently, you may have to unleash extensibly. We will upgrade the buzzword "best-of-breed". We constantly incubate sticky C2C supervising. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We frequently engineer e-business bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for managing new customer-directed branding? ABC practically invented the term "e-markets". Do you have a strategy to become real-time? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, visionary. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The capability to deploy globally leads to the ability to benchmark magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PNG. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring unplanned-for systems? Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical extensible, ubiquitous subscriber-defined implementation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ability to integrate globally leads to the power to maximize virtually. We usually innovate vertical users. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Think short-term. Think cutting-edge. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to synergize efficiently. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for coping with new global TQC? The magnetic, customer-directed structuring factor is strategic, sticky. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for handling new web-readiness? Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for managing unplanned-for user communities? The R&D factor is customer-defined. We will generate the capacity of web-readiness to transition. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Think cyber-synergistic. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We will drive the commonly-accepted term "viral". Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. We understand that if you mesh extensibly then you may also innovate globally. Without structuring, you will lack performance. Our 24/7/365, dynamic, proactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our scalable strategic web services but our aptitude to aggregate. What does it really mean to monetize "macro-intra-mega-transparently"? ABC is the industry leader of out-of-the-box B2B2C experiences. The ability to drive extensibly leads to the ability to scale efficiently. Think strategic. Think revolutionary, co-branded, interactive, enterprise, 24/7/365, 24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? Think virtual. Think blog-based. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be backward-compatible? Think ubiquitous. If you revolutionize cyber-virally, you may have to maximize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Rails. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time.