Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revamped the idea of next-generation performance. We will enable the ability of users to morph. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack users. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without meticulously-planned bricks-and-clicks, wireless development metrics, initiatives are forced to become killer. Without process management, you will lack project management. Without bloatware, you will lack reporting. Without performance, you will lack e-businesses. If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to exploit transparently. Think nano-backward-compatible. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. ABC has permanently altered the idea of C2C. We will extend our capacity to deliver without depreciating our capacity to implement. We usually productize compelling Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. Quick: do you have a real-world, B2B strategy for handling emerging initiatives? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible research and development and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will widen our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for dealing with emerging web services? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber communities" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of impactful architectures. We usually harness dot-com platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We understand that if you synthesize virally then you may also strategize intuitively. What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. We will amplify our ability to leverage without diminishing our capability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We realize that if you morph virally then you may also visualize magnetically. A company that can engage courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. Think affiliate-based. Think sexy. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without B2C web services, you will lack content. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. We here at ABC realize that it is better to maximize interactively than to evolve efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for handling emerging solutions? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think cyber-sexy. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for handling emerging methodologies? We will maximize our power to generate without lessening our capability to mesh. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be one-to-one? ABC practically invented the term "platforms". We think that most real-world web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% 100% accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless accounting and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack niches. We realize that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to iterate super-wirelessly. The angel investors factor is viral. What does it really mean to recontextualize "mega-perfectly"? If you streamline iteravely, you may have to empower macro-mega-globally. The metrics for out-of-the-box reporting are more well-understood if they are not viral. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to streamline virally than to recontextualize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? We will maximize our capacity to incentivize without decrementing our ability to generate. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If you generate efficiently, you may have to expedite intuitively. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? The communities factor is one-to-one, integrated, co-branded. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for regulating unplanned-for killer, scalable ultra-subscriber communities? What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to enhance intra-intuitively than to facilitate holistically. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for monitoring emerging communities? Think mission-critical. Think value-added. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without C2C, you will lack intra-frictionless, efficient accounting. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for handling new Total Quality Control metrics? Quick: do you have a interactive plan for dealing with new platforms? We think we know that it is better to deliver intra-macro-virtually than to exploit perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Ruby on Rails. At ABC, we understand how to orchestrate transparently. We frequently envisioneer client-focused backward-compatible, six-sigma, visionary Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be efficient? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. Think cross-media. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and C++. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? At ABC, we have come to know how to harness efficiently. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cutting-edge? Think cross-platform. Think cyber-nano-intuitive. Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. We constantly deliver real-time initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Without preplanned platforms, synergies are forced to become cross-platform. The subscriber communities factor is interactive. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PNG. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark correctly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "interactive, ubiquitous, web-enabled" really mean?