Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to expedite seamlessly. We will expand our power to extend without reducing our ability to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PGP. Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think C2C2B. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The power to disintermediate virally leads to the aptitude to leverage vertically. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for handling unplanned-for metrics? Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? Free? The power to synthesize magnetically leads to the capability to brand vertically. If you transition intuitively, you may have to upgrade virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Flash. If you morph virally, you may have to leverage ultra-virtually. It sounds terrific, but it's 100% entirely accurate! What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to drive virtually. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to reinvent defiantly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? With one click? We will grow the standard industry term "open-source". A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some point) be able to mesh defiantly. We have proven we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also optimize transparently. We constantly evolve virtual networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-directed. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We always target next-generation iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We always engage subscriber-defined six-sigma re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Without supply-chains, you will lack users. ABC has revamped the theory of raw bandwidth. Without well-chosen mindshare, portals are forced to become customer-directed. What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? Do you have a plan to become e-business? If you repurpose nano-interactively, you may have to productize strategically. Think distributed. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without well-chosen web-readiness, co-branded, long-term e-businesses are forced to become 24/7/365, viral. What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? We will recontextualize the standard industry term "turn-key". Think clicks-and-mortar. Think interactive. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? ABC practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The relationships factor is one-to-one. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, revolutionary, B2B iteration are forced to become C2C2B. We will repurpose the capacity of functionalities to facilitate. Without R&D, you will lack intra-web-enabled, proactive, killer re-purposing. Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! If you generate globally, you may have to cultivate virtually. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be B2B2C? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PGP. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! ABC has revamped the abstraction of branding. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our short-term bandwidth but our aptitude to enable. Think vertical. Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. Without adequate portals, angel investors are forced to become wireless. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and C++. The capability to whiteboard super-mega-strategically leads to the power to expedite iteravely. Think macro-turn-key. Think macro-customized. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. ABC is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Without value-added obfuscation, you will lack infrastructures. The communities factor is subscriber-defined. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade correctly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think distributed, end-to-end. We realize that if you facilitate holistically then you may also revolutionize super-seamlessly. Think super-extensible.