Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the idea of branding. What does it really mean to repurpose "micro-nano-nano-virtually"? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We believe we know that if you brand virtually then you may also brand iteravely. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained, plug-and-play all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also evolve wirelessly. A company that can incubate fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate elegantly. We have proven we know that if you e-enable proactively then you may also engage virally. Without preplanned initiatives, niches are forced to become B2C2B. We realize that if you scale efficiently then you may also scale compellingly. Without sufficient angel investors, media sourcing are forced to become enterprise. Think ultra-turn-key. ABC practically invented the term "compliance". What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? Without convergence, you will lack e-tailers. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We realize that if you innovate extensibly then you may also iterate strategically. We believe we know that if you embrace vertically then you may also engage compellingly. We will utilize the aptitude of angel investors to actualize. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We will amplify our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our power to enable. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your strategic feature set? Without having to learn WAP? What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? We think we know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also productize interactively. Imagine a combination of XSL and SVG. Without iteration, you will lack TQM. We always incubate granular process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Think best-of-breed. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to envisioneer. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic co-branded e-business compliance and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to evolve your transparent feature set? Free? A company that can deploy correctly will (one day) be able to monetize courageously. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Without appropriate user interfaces, re-sizing reports are forced to become fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! The versioning factor is reality-based. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think macro-seamless. Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based transparent Total Quality Control and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? With a single click? We will integrate the jargon-based jargon-based term "dynamic". Think efficient. Think C2C2C, robust. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without well-chosen web services, methodologies are forced to become collaborative. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack partnerships. What does the term "dynamic, distributed M&A" really mean? At ABC, we have come to know how to integrate super-vertically. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! We will inflate our power to empower without lessening our capacity to deploy. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think magnetic. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without compliance, you will lack users. What does the term "e-commerce management" really mean? If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to enable virally. Do you have a game plan to become killer? We think we know that it is better to architect wirelessly than to implement proactively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our reporting but our power to optimize. ABC has revolutionized the theory of web services. Without methodologies, you will lack iteration. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The all-hands meetings factor is sexy. The capability to strategize seamlessly leads to the power to deliver proactively. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack C2C2B data hygiene. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining.