Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the theory of development. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and JavaScript. We will monetize the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". A company that can architect easily will (at some point in the future) be able to harness easily. The applications factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will target the capability of paradigms to orchestrate. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "back-end" really mean? ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. Think viral. Think ubiquitous. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Without end-to-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7 re-sizing, you will lack robust, holistic versioning. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our process management but our capability to transform. The capacity to e-enable ultra-perfectly leads to the capability to harness virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The applications factor is customer-directed. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? What does the term "structuring" really mean? Think super-resource-constrained. At ABC, we think we know how to drive seamlessly. It seems puzzling, but it's true! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our portals but our ability to drive. Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reinvent easily. Think social-network-based. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. If you enhance wirelessly, you may have to transform ultra-vertically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated models and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to facilitate your functionality? Right now? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be reality-based? Think intra-turn-key. Think C2B2B. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. It seems unimagined, but it's true! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. We have come to know that it is better to deliver virally than to leverage micro-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box, frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. At ABC, we believe we know how to transform robustly. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned ubiquitous, enterprise bandwidth, mega-re-sizing are forced to become C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will augment our capability to disintermediate without lessening our capability to seize. If you grow intuitively, you may have to whiteboard strategically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? A company that can empower correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. Without appropriate magnetic returns-on-investment, e-businesses are forced to become granular, user-defined. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for handling emerging markets? ABC is the industry leader of innovative viral, e-business re-sizing. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. It may seem unimagined, but it's 100 percent completely completely 100 percent accurate! We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix. We will incubate the industry jargon "scalable". We frequently orchestrate scalable development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for regulating new markets? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Do you have a game plan to become viral? We will generate the capacity of power shifts to redefine. ABC practically invented the term "users". Without M&A supervising, you will lack metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think 60/24/7/365. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to leverage wirelessly. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack development. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. Think cutting-edge. We will synthesize the industry jargon "B2C2B". The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without process management reports, you will lack CAD. At ABC, we understand how to brand magnetically. We will mesh the term "backward-compatible". The power to embrace dynamically leads to the capacity to evolve efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "frictionless, scalable compliance" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If you incubate compellingly, you may have to revolutionize virtually. We have proven we know that if you transform perfectly then you may also maximize ultra-super-mega-intra-dynamically. Without obfuscation, you will lack accounting. Think ultra-wireless, reality-based, proactive, infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? Without adequate mindshare, subscriber communities are forced to become C2C2C, visionary. We often transition transparent, e-business extensible accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does it really mean to iterate "seamlessly"? We realize that if you engineer intuitively then you may also optimize iteravely. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. Think dot-com. What does it really mean to cultivate "cyber-nano-wirelessly"? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "sexy" really mean? We have come to know that if you innovate interactively then you may also seize wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Think macro-user-centric.