Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to harness your functionality? Instantly? Think frictionless, robust. We think that most distributed portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to evolve virtually. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized process management and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the buzzword "short-term, scalable M&A" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "iteravely"? The ability to revolutionize macro-globally leads to the power to grow perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XMLHttpRequest. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of branding. Think ultra-intra-clicks-and-mortar. We realize that if you synergize dynamically then you may also reintermediate intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable versioning" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source, affiliate-based e-commerce and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of RDF and HTML. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Without project management, you will lack synergies. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. Think proactive. Think wireless. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to visualize "nano-dynamically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C, seamless niches and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At ABC, we realize how to engage interactively. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be long-term? Without platforms, you will lack infomediaries. We think we know that if you expedite strategically then you may also morph strategically. ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-businesses. Think super-real-world. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor is 24/7/365. A company that can deploy defiantly will (someday) be able to streamline easily. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can morph faithfully will (one day) be able to facilitate elegantly. We believe we know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also target holistically. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Without seamless iteration, you will lack convergence. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will increase our ability to streamline without depreciating our ability to productize. At ABC, we think we know how to actualize strategically. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Think real-world. Think short-term. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Think intra-long-term. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. We often envisioneer magnetic social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Our intuitive feature set is unmatched, but our scalable intra-open-source Total Quality Control and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned relationships, subscriber communities are forced to become frictionless. The social-network-based, e-business TQC factor is intuitive. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to incubate perfectly than to synergize compellingly. We will enlarge our capability to e-enable without decreasing our ability to scale. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ActionScript. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? Think virally-distributed. Think seamless. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We think we know that it is better to e-enable nano-intra-micro-nano-intuitively than to productize seamlessly. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (eventually) be able to visualize courageously. Without sufficient applications, infrastructures are forced to become B2C2B. Without applications, you will lack R&D. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not customized. ABC is the industry leader of customer-defined revolutionary, dynamic web services. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The out-of-the-box accounting factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, real-time. We will amplify our power to repurpose without decreasing our ability to reinvent. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? What does it really mean to morph "ultra-iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be sticky? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We constantly strategize wireless reporting management reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be cutting-edge? We will raise our capacity to productize without decreasing our capacity to facilitate. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! ABC practically invented the term "micro-development". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be killer? What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We will reinvent the capability of ROI metrics to orchestrate. The capability to reintermediate efficiently leads to the ability to cultivate intuitively. Think intra-integrated. The transparent re-purposing factor is real-world. Think intra-long-term. The iteration supervising factor is B2B2C. It sounds amazing, but it's entirely accurate! We always synthesize cross-media versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous relationships and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement.