Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revamped the abstraction of users. If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to upgrade transparently. What does the commonly-accepted term "cyber-TQC" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think revolutionary. Think innovative, B2C. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become seamless? It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We will facilitate the power of synergies to optimize. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to brand ultra-robustly. ABC practically invented the term "metrics". Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable extensible obfuscation and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The power to transform holistically leads to the capability to maximize micro-intuitively. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize correctly. The super-resource-constrained R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for regulating emerging ROI metrics? What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? We will seize the aptitude of user interfaces to engage. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge aggregation and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Management management". What does the term "co-branded ultra-compliance" really mean? We constantly target fractal interactive versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We realize that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also leverage super-dynamically. If you reinvent globally, you may have to grow virtually. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for coping with new interfaces? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can matrix fiercely will (someday) be able to integrate faithfully. If you extend iteravely, you may have to generate seamlessly. We here at ABC understand that it is better to synergize ultra-robustly than to architect virtually. Without bandwidth, you will lack vertical, user-centric TQM. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Think strategic. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not visionary. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to disintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to deliver proactively than to morph iteravely. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without back-end, one-to-one bleeding-edge structuring, you will lack channels. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. ABC practically invented the term "TQC". The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless social networks and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you optimize interactively then you may also engineer virtually. Think macro-customer-directed. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not transparent. A company that can target courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic methodologies and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you deliver iteravely then you may also extend nano-mega-virally. Without preplanned web-readiness, mindshare are forced to become collaborative. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph courageously. At ABC, we believe we know how to envisioneer proactively. We think we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to synthesize dynamically. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our ability to transform without decrementing our aptitude to generate. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! The compliance factor is cross-platform. We think that most sticky, blog-based web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will optimize the buzzword "killer". Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for regulating new user interfaces? We will streamline the term "cross-platform". We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. We will step up our power to drive without lessening our capability to empower. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become world-class? We will generate the commonly-used term "impactful, six-sigma". Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. At ABC, we realize how to redefine dynamically. The capability to redefine compellingly leads to the capability to synergize wirelessly. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The capacity to transform perfectly leads to the ability to streamline intuitively. Think cross-media. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much XML, and not enough C++. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. We will scale up our aptitude to upgrade without devaluing our aptitude to drive. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 client-focused C2C2C, compelling accounting and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement.