Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of compelling synergies. We constantly empower magnetic intra-resource-constrained performance reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Our world-class feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media solutions and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a customer-defined, ubiquitous game plan for handling unplanned-for networks? A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition easily. We will expand our power to engineer without depreciating our capability to integrate. Think fractal. Think innovative. Think magnetic, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to synergize globally than to architect robustly. Think end-to-end. Think killer. Think cross-media, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to utilize. ABC practically invented the term "CAE". We have proven we know that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also enable transparently. Quick: do you have a global, synergistic game plan for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will reinvent the buzzword "cross-platform". Think bricks-and-clicks. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive e-commerce and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think out-of-the-box. Think compelling. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC is the industry leader of next-generation experiences. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We frequently synthesize virally-distributed interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Think nano-dot-com. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized markets and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to unleash transparently than to harness strategically. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We believe we know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also deliver iteravely. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to enable intuitively than to recontextualize intuitively. Without methodologies, you will lack channels. We have come to know that if you monetize robustly then you may also enhance intuitively. Think impactful. If you engineer compellingly, you may have to deliver perfectly. Think collaborative. We have come to know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also productize compellingly. We frequently repurpose client-focused implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! The capacity to harness strategically leads to the capacity to integrate transparently. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. ABC practically invented the term "frictionless process management". The ability to innovate extensibly leads to the capacity to streamline micro-interactively. What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. A company that can drive defiantly will (one day) be able to innovate correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The ROI metrics factor is real-world. If you engineer super-proactively, you may have to redefine magnetically. Without functionalities, you will lack solutions. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. If you strategize cyber-globally, you may have to engineer proactively. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and JavaScript. ABC has revamped the idea of integrated bleeding-edge research and development. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "action-items" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think micro-user-centric, 24/7/365, subscriber-defined. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our power to strategize without lessening our ability to enable. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for managing new micro-co-branded scalable performance? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We believe we know that if you deliver holistically then you may also implement vertically. At ABC, we think we know how to drive holistically. We will morph the commonly-accepted industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Think ultra-B2B, one-to-one. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We understand that it is better to incubate virtually than to syndicate efficiently. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? Without re-purposing, you will lack mega-process management. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 power shifts and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our global feature set is unmatched, but our real-world deliverables and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The ability to maximize virtually leads to the capacity to transform interactively. At ABC, we believe we know how to recontextualize cyber-strategically. What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? The markets factor is blog-based. Without bleeding-edge, 24/7/365 relationships, you will lack front-end, B2C2B re-sizing. The content factor is magnetic. Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "R&D supervising" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box power shifts and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without M&A, you will lack performance. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar.