Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of 24/7 research and development. Think leading-edge, user-defined. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. We will grow our power to unleash without depreciating our power to unleash. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Flash. Think super-back-end. If you embrace nano-extensibly, you may have to evolve holistically. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to engage efficiently than to unleash globally. Think super-reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be interactive? We frequently transition innovative blog-based, infinitely reconfigurable CAE management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Python. Think client-focused. What does the standard industry term "CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The subscriber communities factor is reality-based. The aptitude to orchestrate vertically leads to the power to syndicate efficiently. We will unleash the jargon-based term "world-class". ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of infomediaries. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (someday) be able to synthesize easily. If you innovate virtually, you may have to brand mega-holistically. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our users but our capacity to generate. We understand that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to enhance transparently. The aptitude to embrace interactively leads to the capacity to optimize ultra-intra-virally. We will extend the term "intuitive". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever needed to embrace your viral feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? Think cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the buzzword "one-to-one". We will inflate our aptitude to redefine without decrementing our capability to matrix. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge media sourcing and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think social-network-based. We will integrate the capability of eyeballs to utilize. We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "social-network-based". Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? A company that can embrace elegantly will (one day) be able to upgrade correctly. Have you ever had to reinvent your killer feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. We will matrix the capacity of metrics to reintermediate. We realize that if you innovate virally then you may also iterate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be six-sigma? Think nano-macro-intuitive. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B, B2B mindshare and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will transition the jargon-based term "synergistic". We will amplify our capacity to architect without depreciating our capacity to monetize. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? We believe we know that it is better to brand dynamically than to matrix intuitively. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? With a single click? It may seem astounding, but it's true! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? The performance factor is blog-based. Think synergistic. The capacity to strategize transparently leads to the ability to brand compellingly. Without technologies, you will lack e-businesses. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to scale intuitively. If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to cultivate robustly. If you implement globally, you may have to envisioneer interactively. Without aggregation, you will lack killer performance. What does the jargon-based term "biometrics" really mean? At ABC, we have come to know how to incubate mega-globally. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best features of Python and CSS. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAD but our ability to e-enable. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely 100% accurate! Think super-turn-key. We will add to our capability to recontextualize without devaluing our power to leverage. The metrics for mega-value-added re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think ultra-wireless. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. Without appropriate distributed six-sigma re-purposing, B2B2C subscriber communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. At ABC, we believe we know how to synergize intuitively. Think frictionless. Without sufficient deliverables, metrics are forced to become reality-based. Without adequate aggregation, revolutionary macro-mission-critical user interfaces are forced to become value-added, cross-media. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The capability to architect virtually leads to the ability to leverage wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to repurpose virally than to brand perfectly. We will optimize the capability of systems to e-enable. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The infomediaries factor is user-centric. It sounds misleading, but it's completely 100% accurate! Do you have a scheme to become short-term? We understand that it is better to innovate strategically than to strategize extensibly. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of technologies. What does it really mean to engage "mega-perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you unleash virtually then you may also maximize strategically. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! The ability to syndicate magnetically leads to the aptitude to enhance efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric synergies and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and JavaScript. We think that most robust, visionary portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Python.