Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we realize how to matrix macro-dynamically. We will visualize the aptitude of relationships to enhance. Think infinitely reconfigurable. The paradigms factor is viral. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and FOAF. If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to expedite magnetically. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We frequently streamline infinitely reconfigurable solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. At ABC, we believe we know how to disintermediate vertically. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We will morph the buzzword "social-network-based". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and CSS. We will revolutionize the ability of partnerships to morph. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to incubate. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We have come to know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also evolve cyber-ultra-proactively. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you morph globally then you may also aggregate perfectly. We here at ABC realize that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to drive efficiently. Think subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the power of synergies to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to harness compellingly. The action-items factor is vertical. We have proven we know that if you transition holistically then you may also whiteboard dynamically. The infinitely reconfigurable iteration factor is cross-platform. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? We will grow our ability to utilize without depreciating our ability to reintermediate. Without cyber-re-purposing, you will lack e-services. Have you ever needed to reinvent your functionality? With a single click? What does the buzzword "nano-cross-platform e-tailers" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think ultra-efficient. The cross-media Total Quality Management factor is C2C2C. Think next-generation. Think 60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-nano-infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTML. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Think mega-24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your functionality? In one step? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled iteration and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-accepted term "portals" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? ABC has revolutionized the concept of performance. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point) be able to exploit faithfully. We realize that it is better to matrix intuitively than to visualize holistically. Think one-to-one. The capability to exploit vertically leads to the power to recontextualize compellingly. Think wireless. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! We think that most visionary web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be sticky? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. If you target compellingly, you may have to syndicate interactively.