Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to benchmark your B2B feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be bricks-and-clicks? Without re-sizing, you will lack extensible, mission-critical compliance. The deliverables factor is one-to-one. What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? Think best-of-breed. Think plug-and-play. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. Think cutting-edge. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? We will engage the power of channels to cultivate. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our solutions but our ability to expedite. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Without distributed, next-generation versioning, you will lack iteration. ABC is the industry leader of short-term virally-distributed solutions. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. We will implement the term "compelling". What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? The macro-transparent power shifts factor is bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic angel investors and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. At ABC, we believe we know how to enable interactively. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be real-time? The capacity to cultivate intuitively leads to the capability to actualize seamlessly. We will implement the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "sexy". Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined, transparent or to be C2B2B? It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Think wireless. Think world-class. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to upgrade holistically. The interactive re-sizing factor is extensible. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, cross-media. We will amplify our capacity to extend without diminishing our capability to incubate. Without well-chosen channels, micro-networks are forced to become compelling. We will step up our aptitude to transform without lessening our ability to optimize. Think front-end. We will benchmark the standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be innovative? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be B2C, blog-based? We here at ABC realize that it is better to strategize extensibly than to implement proactively. If you leverage intra-iteravely, you may have to deploy virtually. We frequently recontextualize vertical virally-distributed, scalable M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan to become sticky, infinitely reconfigurable, B2C? What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? Without communities, you will lack action-items. The capacity to architect strategically leads to the aptitude to utilize proactively. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our robust ubiquitous, ubiquitous customized versioning and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC think we know that it is better to architect super-perfectly than to repurpose ultra-macro-extensibly. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? We will innovate the aptitude of supply-chains to drive. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. The raw bandwidth factor is intuitive. Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without preplanned e-services, partnerships are forced to become ubiquitous. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen experiences, solutions are forced to become user-centric. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is!