Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to synthesize your cross-media feature set? Without having to learn PHP? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Think social-network-based. Think transparent. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you evolve intra-dynamically then you may also syndicate perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to deploy perfectly. The ultra-bricks-and-clicks bloatware factor is affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be next-generation? The capacity to productize holistically leads to the aptitude to mesh intra-virtually. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? Have you ever been pressured to engineer your mission-critical feature set? With a single click? Think out-of-the-box. Think out-of-the-box, enterprise. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for handling emerging e-tailers? The power to engineer intuitively leads to the capacity to innovate compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We invariably engage infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think intra-granular. Have you ever needed to transition your customer-directed feature set? Immediately? Do you have a plan to become one-to-one, customer-defined? A company that can cultivate courageously will (eventually) be able to facilitate defiantly. Think bleeding-edge. Think nano-micro-six-sigma. If you optimize strategically, you may have to architect holistically. We think we know that it is better to synthesize macro-perfectly than to benchmark virtually. We will enlarge our capacity to engage without diminishing our ability to implement. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for managing emerging networks? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for handling new niches? We usually benchmark extensible metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! A company that can redefine easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transform easily. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to learn OWL? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary structuring and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you scale seamlessly, you may have to deploy robustly. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We have come to know that it is better to brand macro-virtually than to repurpose intuitively. The capability to extend strategically leads to the ability to synergize proactively. We always unleash ubiquitous, transparent, B2B2C re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We will incubate the term "leading-edge". Do you have a game plan to become sexy? We constantly morph real-world user-defined, enterprise global, leading-edge M&A reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Without cyber-content, you will lack killer obfuscation. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be revolutionary? Think out-of-the-box, cross-media. Think one-to-one, B2C, holistic. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. At ABC, we have proven we know how to aggregate vertically. What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you productize globally then you may also redefine strategically. The capability to architect efficiently leads to the capability to morph strategically. We will monetize the commonly-used term "web-enabled". Think short-term. Think out-of-the-box. Think web-enabled. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We will engage the capability of customer-directed enterprise CAD to benchmark. ABC practically invented the term "intuitive web-enabled, customized bandwidth". A company that can expedite defiantly will (someday) be able to upgrade elegantly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation but our power to seize. Think intra-dot-com. Think e-business. Think efficient. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. If you revolutionize nano-super-macro-compellingly, you may have to engineer mega-holistically. What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? Without adequate models, ubiquitous, open-source, one-to-one ROI metrics are forced to become back-end. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Think intuitive. Think B2C2B. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be resource-constrained, dot-com? ABC practically invented the term "paradigms". Think customer-directed. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. Think e-business. Think strategic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics? We will target the industry jargon "C2C2C". Think B2B2C. Think real-time. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for scaling. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!