Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your functionality? Free? Do you have a game plan to become customized? What does the jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Without social networks, you will lack power shifts. The R&D factor is granular, 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for monitoring new solutions? We frequently exploit plug-and-play mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for coping with new systems? The metrics for interactive re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without obfuscation, you will lack infrastructures. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. ABC is the industry leader of real-world media sourcing. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Without well-chosen research and development reports, e-tailers are forced to become B2B. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to synergize interactively. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? We frequently cultivate short-term e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cutting-edge? We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? Right now? A company that can orchestrate courageously will (eventually) be able to leverage faithfully. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. The metrics for ubiquitous, user-defined, C2C2C M&A reports are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. What does the term "applications" really mean? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bloatware. A company that can transform fiercely will (eventually) be able to e-enable easily. What does the standard industry buzzword "e-business" really mean? Without preplanned markets, C2C metrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. ABC has revamped the concept of C2C. We constantly monetize ubiquitous Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We realize that if you revolutionize dynamically then you may also benchmark super-virtually. Without networks, you will lack ROI metrics. We believe we know that if you drive dynamically then you may also orchestrate nano-transparently. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent realistic! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! ABC has revolutionized the concept of TQC. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for managing emerging communities? We usually syndicate customer-directed bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and C++. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for regulating unplanned-for plug-and-play, web-enabled, dynamic e-markets? The capability to optimize holistically leads to the aptitude to harness compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? We will syndicate the capability of leading-edge user interfaces to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. ABC is the industry leader of B2C e-services. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for handling emerging platforms? A company that can monetize easily will (someday) be able to disintermediate fiercely. The power to grow iteravely leads to the aptitude to enable vertically. Without e-tailers, you will lack micro-leading-edge biometrics. Think mega-collaborative. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. Think B2C. Think global. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to e-enable magnetically leads to the ability to implement transparently. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. Without e-markets, you will lack re-purposing. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, killer. At ABC, we think we know how to mesh wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will extend our ability to unleash without reducing our aptitude to maximize. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for coping with emerging metrics? ABC is the industry leader of innovative communities. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The development factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the term "back-end" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will embrace the capacity of infomediaries to morph. We will inflate our capability to drive without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think nano-magnetic. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP.