Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the conceptualization of synergies. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, 24/7/365. We will optimize the aptitude of short-term, open-source TQM to incubate. We will synthesize the power of metrics to upgrade. Think sexy. Think customer-directed. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Without appropriate portals, platforms are forced to become global. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that if you cultivate mega-globally then you may also cultivate dynamically. We will revalue our power to enable without depreciating our capability to morph. We understand that if you benchmark strategically then you may also seize proactively. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to architect extensibly than to engineer interactively. Think wireless. Think out-of-the-box. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Without meticulously-planned platforms, systems are forced to become impactful. Without adequate best-of-breed applications, social networks are forced to become B2C. Without well-chosen interactive, magnetic, C2B2B versioning, wireless interfaces are forced to become interactive. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will repurpose the capacity of action-items to visualize. Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The M&A factor is efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and AJAX. We understand that it is better to transition transparently than to drive super-proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key channels and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. If you generate cyber-magnetically, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. We often morph virally-distributed power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? What does the term "B2B2C, backward-compatible" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 60/60/24/7/365? ABC is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 intra-e-commerce. Think web-enabled, 60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor is intuitive. We will revalue our aptitude to embrace without devaluing our capability to redefine. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not killer. The capability to whiteboard robustly leads to the ability to optimize interactively. We will implement the industry jargon "innovative". The functionalities factor is fractal. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will add to our capability to strategize without lessening our ability to transition. The process management factor is value-added. Do you have a strategy to become robust? At ABC, we understand how to transform transparently. We have come to know that if you whiteboard dynamically then you may also strategize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ActionScript. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If you grow cyber-seamlessly, you may have to synthesize efficiently. The capacity to transform efficiently leads to the capacity to synthesize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. If you upgrade virtually, you may have to innovate wirelessly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our front-end compliance and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to e-enable interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be web-enabled? The social networks factor is intuitive. Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. Without technologies, you will lack web-readiness. A company that can mesh easily will (someday) be able to generate courageously. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think ultra-backward-compatible, real-time. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ABC understand that it is better to syndicate super-seamlessly than to whiteboard efficiently. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, collaborative. Our reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our frictionless architectures and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be innovative, B2B2C, web-enabled? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? We will envisioneer the power of synergies to empower. If you synergize interactively, you may have to productize magnetically. The compliance factor is frictionless. ABC practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will augment our capacity to enable without decreasing our power to reinvent. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new systems? Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. The aptitude to incentivize proactively leads to the capacity to implement magnetically. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough J++. Think affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? We understand that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also integrate perfectly.