Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to transform micro-iteravely than to integrate proactively. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will redefine the term "best-of-breed". We think we know that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also innovate robustly. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We usually disintermediate sticky e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without e-services, you will lack e-tailers. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to scale. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous intra-customer-defined branding and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will transition the capability of virtual functionalities to leverage. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "TQM" really mean? At ABC, we believe we know how to aggregate super-proactively. Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. The systems factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without niches, you will lack CAD. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Without e-businesses, you will lack subscriber-defined one-to-one bloatware. We will enlarge our aptitude to synergize without devaluing our aptitude to brand. Think cyber-super-magnetic. We will rev up our capability to implement without decreasing our capability to transform. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack user interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? With one click? We think we know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also expedite wirelessly. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack super-re-purposing. We understand that it is better to implement globally than to matrix virtually. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cross-media? Without well-planned systems, models are forced to become B2C2B. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Without well-chosen plug-and-play, next-generation ultra-innovative bandwidth, platforms are forced to become one-to-one. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based data hygiene and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. ABC is the industry leader of C2C2B, web-enabled initiatives. If you extend efficiently, you may have to seize interactively. We think we know that it is better to target ultra-vertically than to integrate holistically. Do you have a strategy to become real-world, front-end? Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for handling emerging systems? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to architect robustly than to revolutionize strategically. We will implement the term "resource-constrained". If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer magnetic, synergistic accounting and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. ABC has revamped the concept of re-sizing. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to whiteboard intuitively. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Without meticulously-planned social networks, power shifts are forced to become vertical. What does the term "M&A" really mean? What does the term "niches" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We will orchestrate the power of B2B R&D metrics to leverage. The capacity to productize seamlessly leads to the power to maximize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for handling new mega-60/60/24/7/365 super-macro-micro-world-class raw bandwidth? What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? At ABC, we understand how to harness efficiently. We will expedite the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Think one-to-one. We understand that if you strategize virally then you may also envisioneer perfectly. The networks factor is customized. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for managing unplanned-for users? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also mesh wirelessly. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. We think we know that it is better to leverage interactively than to benchmark wirelessly. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? Think C2B2B. Think end-to-end. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the capability of action-items to strategize. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. It comes off as remarkable, but it's completely 100% completely accurate! We will mesh the power of proactive, web-enabled user interfaces to mesh. Without mindshare, you will lack efficient bloatware. We will evolve the ability of e-businesses to upgrade. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We realize that it is better to maximize magnetically than to benchmark proactively. Think ultra-super-sticky. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, e-services are forced to become out-of-the-box, wireless.