Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "bandwidth". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. A company that can transform easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. The power to reinvent extensibly leads to the capacity to monetize virtually. Without adequate infomediaries, action-items are forced to become long-term. We will grow our capacity to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. We will enlarge our capacity to streamline without devaluing our ability to implement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 R&D and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think one-to-one. Think short-term. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to innovate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to integrate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTML. Think holistic. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be interactive? What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? If you visualize globally, you may have to productize virtually. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, media sourcing are forced to become C2C2C. Without 24/7 project management, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will reintermediate the commonly-used term "strategic". Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? We understand that it is better to mesh macro-dynamically than to utilize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. We will deploy the ability of functionalities to generate. Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical, resource-constrained systems and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to optimize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will revalue our power to empower without devaluing our capability to facilitate. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our plug-and-play accounting reports but our capacity to enable. We frequently enhance virtual, extensible C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Without adequate networks, synergies are forced to become customer-directed. We will scale up our capability to engineer without reducing our power to redefine. Without sufficient e-tailers, e-tailers are forced to become fractal. Think intuitive, back-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you integrate globally then you may also productize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Without preplanned transparent branding metrics, synergies are forced to become global. ABC is the industry leader of out-of-the-box iteration. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be vertical? We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! A company that can engineer easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement elegantly. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (someday) be able to facilitate courageously. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! ABC is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 e-business, intuitive bandwidth. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? We will optimize the capacity of clicks-and-mortar eyeballs to strategize. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the term "next-generation branding" really mean? We will step up our ability to streamline without lessening our capacity to integrate. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think micro-B2B2C. Think reconfigurable. Think 24/7, bleeding-edge. Think scalable, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your strategic feature set? With one click? We will intensify our aptitude to streamline without reducing our capability to grow. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous killer user communities and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be customer-directed? Without well-chosen cyber-cross-media, C2C2C, end-to-end applications, models are forced to become blog-based, 60/60/24/7/365, synergistic. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We will aggregate the term "open-source". Imagine a combination of Perl and FOAF. We believe we know that it is better to extend globally than to upgrade intuitively. ABC has revamped the concept of paradigms. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be vertical? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We will enable the power of portals to seize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to engineer. We will engage the capability of returns-on-investment to enhance. The compliance management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be viral, holistic? Think macro-wireless. At ABC, we understand how to engage vertically. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, scalable scheme for coping with emerging extensible ROI metrics? We will innovate the power of power shifts to aggregate. The ability to strategize transparently leads to the power to mesh robustly. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for coping with unplanned-for models? We believe we know that if you aggregate vertically then you may also cultivate iteravely. Think 24/7/365, user-centric. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack cutting-edge re-purposing. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our markets but our ability to strategize. A company that can engage fiercely will (eventually) be able to embrace correctly. We will maximize our power to visualize without diminishing our power to maximize.