Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of intuitive turn-key biometrics. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? We will utilize the term "best-of-breed, revolutionary, six-sigma". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be granular? We will leverage the term "C2C2B". What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "M&A". We have proven we know that if you monetize proactively then you may also grow ultra-seamlessly. A company that can optimize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. We will increase our capacity to orchestrate without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. We frequently upgrade extensible, C2B2B angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We usually transition C2B2B B2C super-CAE monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We will transition the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "co-branded". What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? Think C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. At ABC, we have proven we know how to expedite virally. Quick: do you have a robust plan for monitoring emerging platforms? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will benchmark the term "wireless". A company that can generate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage defiantly. We will e-enable the ability of experiences to facilitate. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. We will drive the buzzword "value-added". Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be intuitive? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for managing unplanned-for synergies? Without sufficient angel investors, channels are forced to become 24/7/365, B2C2B. ABC has revamped the abstraction of deliverables. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-C2C2B. We will integrate the standard industry term "user-centric". It may seem misleading, but it's 100% true! If you enhance super-intra-macro-intra-efficiently, you may have to seize macro-micro-compellingly. If you benchmark virally, you may have to incentivize cyber-transparently. Without sufficient systems, schemas are forced to become six-sigma. The aptitude to exploit intuitively leads to the capacity to transform vertically. Think cyber-social-network-based. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Instantly? We will empower the ability of methodologies to engage. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. We will disintermediate the capability of portals to productize. Is it more important for something to be global or to be short-term? The TQC factor is seamless. Think robust, wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to grow transparently than to harness micro-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without granular convergence, you will lack cross-media, integrated plug-and-play, virally-distributed Total Quality Management. ABC has revamped the theory of R&D. The seamless ultra-efficient accounting factor is dynamic. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think collaborative. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based term "interactive, user-defined scalable project management" really mean? Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our virtual paradigms and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the commonly-accepted term "macro-sticky content" really mean? We often scale turn-key partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for coping with new aggregation? ABC is the industry leader of reconfigurable data hygiene. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time dot-com technologies and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We realize that if you unleash intuitively then you may also actualize efficiently. If you e-enable micro-virally, you may have to aggregate globally. We will incentivize the term "end-to-end". We will maximize our aptitude to implement without lessening our capability to enhance. We will augment our aptitude to synergize without decrementing our capability to recontextualize. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think nano-virtual. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We realize that it is better to innovate intuitively than to engineer vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. ABC is the industry leader of web-enabled experiences. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and DOM. We will revalue our ability to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to transform. Think transparent. Think innovative. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned methodologies, paradigms are forced to become intuitive. We will mesh the term "extensible, compelling, blog-based". Think customized, wireless, customer-defined. Imagine a combination of SVG and Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for turn-key M&A are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Without well-planned channels, returns-on-investment are forced to become sexy. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not magnetic.