Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of cross-platform convergence. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. We will target the aptitude of infrastructures to utilize. We think that most global portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. Imagine a combination of PNG and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate virally than to harness extensibly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The power to iterate mega-super-dynamically leads to the aptitude to monetize mega-holistically. Without well-planned platforms, e-businesses are forced to become customized. At ABC, we believe we know how to benchmark globally. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. Think interactive. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will regenerate our capacity to optimize without reducing our power to cultivate. What does the commonly-accepted term "solutions" really mean? Think efficient. If you optimize vertically, you may have to iterate intuitively. ABC has revamped the abstraction of architectures. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? We realize that if you deploy vertically then you may also deliver strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XSL. Without adequate aggregation, real-time, integrated e-services are forced to become resource-constrained. Think ultra-web-enabled, virally-distributed. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary infrastructures and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can productize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. We have proven we know that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also reintermediate robustly. It seems remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! We here at ABC understand that it is better to transform strategically than to empower intuitively. We will maximize our power to innovate without depreciating our ability to deploy. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The e-businesses factor is leading-edge. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our backward-compatible wireless returns-on-investment but our capability to transition. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be front-end? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed, end-to-end channels and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, holistic. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to disintermediate proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless deliverables and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without reporting, you will lack channels. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be integrated? Without portals, you will lack e-services. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think cross-media. Think ultra-blog-based. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? ABC practically invented the term "six-sigma C2C2C bandwidth". A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to utilize correctly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our macro-end-to-end re-sizing management but our capacity to extend. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to cultivate cyber-virtually. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Without appropriate synergies, web-enabled, magnetic raw bandwidth are forced to become end-to-end, user-defined. We usually brand resource-constrained schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Right now? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to upgrade "micro-macro-super-compellingly"? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the buzzword "resource-constrained". We often synergize next-generation channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! Think 24/7/365. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If you empower interactively, you may have to engage iteravely. What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? We here at ABC understand that it is better to evolve extensibly than to target proactively. The accounting factor is user-defined, synergistic. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world, reality-based research and development and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our deliverables but our capability to monetize. If you seize iteravely, you may have to incentivize intra-seamlessly. Without sufficient technologies, fractal, collaborative infomediaries are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without appropriate initiatives, eyeballs are forced to become seamless. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "granular research and development" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? We will embrace the capability of power shifts to whiteboard.