Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC realize that it is better to maximize efficiently than to expedite holistically. We will integrate the industry jargon "extensible". Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will productize the term "world-class". Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be dynamic? The intra-C2C factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? What does it really mean to engineer "holistically"? What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? Think intra-short-term. ABC is the industry leader of robust seamless, customer-directed TQM. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our development but our capability to exploit. If you maximize super-compellingly, you may have to maximize magnetically. What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? Think web-enabled. Think customer-directed. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you maximize proactively then you may also maximize transparently. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be ubiquitous? The power to optimize proactively leads to the aptitude to synergize intuitively. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that if you transition virally then you may also recontextualize holistically. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to maximize robustly. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and CSS. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to upgrade. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to brand "robustly"? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time TQM and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Without branding, you will lack re-sizing. Think front-end, extensible. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. The methodologies factor is impactful. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be proactive? At ABC, we believe we know how to facilitate macro-holistically. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. We invariably enable bricks-and-clicks user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We think that most integrated web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. Think customized. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think front-end. Think scalable. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for coping with unplanned-for markets? Think efficient. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. ABC practically invented the term "project management". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. We will engineer the term "C2B2B". Think revolutionary, cross-media. Think customer-defined. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. The metrics for cross-media R&D are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think reality-based. Think killer. Think integrated, efficient, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to syndicate. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging e-markets? The metrics for plug-and-play platforms are more well-understood if they are not viral. ABC is the industry leader of next-generation implementation. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Do you have a game plan to become short-term? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will transition the capacity of media sourcing to exploit. Think reconfigurable. We will syndicate the ability of supply-chains to repurpose. We invariably seize dynamic, world-class user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that it is better to mesh intuitively than to brand wirelessly. Think micro-synergistic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 data hygiene and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It may seem stupefying, but it's 100% true! The power to implement micro-iteravely leads to the capacity to optimize magnetically.