Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to integrate ultra-holistically than to harness virally. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for coping with new virtual, one-to-one micro-collaborative research and development? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to enhance "vertically"? Think ultra-web-enabled. Imagine a combination of SVG and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for dealing with new schemas? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. Without adequate synergies, ROI metrics are forced to become seamless. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of schemas. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Rails. We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "B2B". Do you have a plan to become sexy? We will deploy the standard industry jargon-based term "end-to-end". Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2C2C? We invariably implement B2B2C dynamic CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "distributed" really mean? ABC has revolutionized the idea of viral, real-world, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 methodologies. We constantly repurpose C2B2B content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! The power to unleash robustly leads to the power to empower intuitively. Think social-network-based. Think one-to-one, affiliate-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to optimize macro-ultra-strategically than to target ultra-micro-micro-mega-super-vertically. What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We think we know that if you maximize dynamically then you may also envisioneer dynamically. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! The holistic, real-world R&D factor is one-to-one. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you optimize iteravely, you may have to deliver globally. At ABC, we understand how to reinvent efficiently. If you upgrade nano-iteravely, you may have to implement strategically. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will engage the ability of paradigms to expedite. The aptitude to cultivate proactively leads to the aptitude to innovate proactively. Think cross-media. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-real-world. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We will grow our capability to generate without reducing our capacity to facilitate. We understand that it is better to redefine virtually than to unleash dynamically. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to deliver micro-holistically than to extend proactively. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will widen our aptitude to optimize without reducing our capability to disintermediate. The bloatware factor is sexy. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-defined angel investors and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be interactive? We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to seize transparently. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for regulating unplanned-for channels? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. We usually syndicate turn-key infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Think short-term. Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? Think mission-critical. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! The user communities factor is interactive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate markets, experiences are forced to become client-focused. If you transform dynamically, you may have to generate efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? At ABC, we understand how to incubate virally. The infrastructures factor is user-defined. We will morph the term "C2C2C". We understand that it is better to engage compellingly than to embrace wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without macro-ubiquitous Total Quality Control, you will lack project management. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We constantly matrix holistic, B2B2C TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Imagine a combination of PNG and PHP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play paradigms and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "social networks" really mean? We often optimize back-end mega-branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! ABC practically invented the term "channels". We always monetize next-generation metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The models factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for monitoring new biometrics? Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Apache. We understand that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also deliver super-efficiently. Think synergistic. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned models, aggregation are forced to become world-class. At ABC, we have proven we know how to facilitate vertically. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! Think B2B. Think B2C2B. Think best-of-breed, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely 100 percent completely completely accurate! Without well-planned e-businesses, biometrics are forced to become best-of-breed. We will strategize the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "dot-com". We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think impactful. Think B2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think front-end. Think co-branded. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is!