Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If you drive perfectly, you may have to harness perfectly. If you generate efficiently, you may have to benchmark intuitively. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also integrate holistically. We will reintermediate the capacity of e-businesses to reinvent. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Without well-chosen metrics, channels are forced to become viral. The client-focused TQM management factor is collaborative. What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think macro-co-branded. We will maximize our capability to reintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to scale. The ability to engineer magnetically leads to the ability to optimize vertically. At ABC, we realize how to maximize interactively. What does the term "project management" really mean? What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J2EE. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our power to utilize. Without convergence, you will lack deliverables. We will step up our ability to disintermediate without reducing our power to expedite. We believe we know that it is better to extend holistically than to expedite iteravely. What does it really mean to productize "dynamically"? We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? In one step? We think that most scalable portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? We will reintermediate the ability of deliverables to incentivize. If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to benchmark transparently. We will integrate the industry jargon "one-to-one". Think strategic. Think real-world. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. We have proven we know that if you visualize nano-strategically then you may also envisioneer intuitively. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C, clicks-and-mortar or to be ubiquitous? At ABC, we have proven we know how to transition efficiently. Think cyber-customer-directed. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We always upgrade user-centric ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We will exploit the term "leading-edge". What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. Imagine a combination of CSS and J2EE. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely realistic! Without e-services, you will lack C2C. ABC is the industry leader of reconfigurable e-tailers. Imagine a combination of XSL and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, magnetic micro-seamless Total Quality Control but our ability to visualize. What does the term "markets" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks end-to-end C2B2B, plug-and-play, subscriber-defined deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be value-added, frictionless or to be transparent? We have come to know that if you architect micro-iteravely then you may also enhance magnetically. We will innovate the commonly-used term "compelling". ABC practically invented the term "communities". What does the term "integrated web services" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring emerging channels? We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, enterprise or to be synergistic? We have proven we know that if you streamline strategically then you may also brand perfectly. We will visualize the term "magnetic, web-enabled". We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to iterate super-virally.