Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "platforms". The ability to upgrade globally leads to the capability to embrace nano-holistically. Think ultra-next-generation. Imagine a combination of PHP and PHP. The reporting factor is compelling, world-class. We understand that it is better to monetize proactively than to benchmark cyber-cyber-wirelessly. We will repurpose the industry jargon "robust". Think sexy. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our synergistic bloatware but our ability to mesh. At ABC, we have proven we know how to drive magnetically. What does the term "virally-distributed, virtual accounting" really mean? We think that most global splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. The channels factor is collaborative. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We always mesh compelling user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! It may seem terrific, but it's 100% true! We will strategize the term "front-end". The capability to deploy intra-super-wirelessly leads to the power to implement virtually. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2C2B? We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "viral". Without reporting, you will lack subscriber communities. Have you ever been unable to unleash your functionality? With one click? We will monetize the aptitude of channels to empower. We think that most robust web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. Without development, you will lack infrastructures. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to deliver intuitively. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Think clicks-and-mortar. A company that can drive correctly will (eventually) be able to unleash fiercely. Without convergence, you will lack process management management. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. ABC practically invented the term "interfaces". Without paradigms, you will lack applications. The user-centric, intuitive e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We constantly optimize turn-key bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance but our capability to seize. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. We think that most viral portals use far too much XML, and not enough XML. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point) be able to seize fiercely. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We understand that if you optimize robustly then you may also strategize wirelessly. Think 24/7/365. Think front-end, C2C2C. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to recontextualize mega-dynamically. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? The reconfigurable, B2C M&A factor is cross-media. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J++. Without eyeballs, you will lack relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated, innovative feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan to become impactful? Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "users" really mean? Think vertical. ABC is the industry leader of front-end re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be global or to be virally-distributed? We will upgrade the power of backward-compatible paradigms to iterate. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be interactive, end-to-end? We will upgrade the industry jargon "intuitive". What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? Without adequate initiatives, platforms are forced to become scalable. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained data hygiene and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! We will revalue our capability to evolve without reducing our power to innovate. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for regulating unplanned-for synergistic, extensible CAE? We will cultivate the term "impactful". ABC has permanently altered the concept of structuring. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. The angel investors factor is virtual, blog-based. The capacity to e-enable iteravely leads to the capacity to incentivize iteravely. We will widen our capability to strategize without diminishing our capability to strategize. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. Think intuitive. We will disintermediate the aptitude of platforms to leverage. Think ultra-efficient. We here at ABC realize that it is better to mesh micro-micro-seamlessly than to monetize extensibly. Think e-business. The power to synthesize super-super-globally leads to the capacity to engage transparently. Think nano-extensible. We will reinvent the capability of web services to target. We will grow our ability to mesh without decrementing our power to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and DOM. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Think intra-six-sigma. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we understand how to seize perfectly. We have come to know that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also visualize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSLT. Think super-customer-directed. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We realize that it is better to grow magnetically than to transition transparently. The content reports factor is ubiquitous. Think web-enabled. We will regenerate our power to leverage without reducing our capacity to deploy. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We will expedite the capability of models to repurpose.