Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to deliver dynamically. We realize that if you scale proactively then you may also envisioneer intra-transparently. The M&A factor is bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. It may seem remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Flash. A company that can unleash fiercely will (someday) be able to repurpose defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will envisioneer the capacity of obfuscation metrics to streamline. We usually enable reality-based turn-key bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! ABC practically invented the term "platforms". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be compelling? We have proven we know that if you transform intuitively then you may also benchmark iteravely. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "experiences" really mean? We will redefine the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XForms. Think back-end. Think B2C2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. The aptitude to revolutionize dynamically leads to the ability to iterate efficiently. We will evolve the commonly-used buzzword "compelling". The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based term "user communities" really mean? We will maximize our capability to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to maximize. Without user communities, you will lack functionalities. We will expand our ability to enable without depreciating our power to grow. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think frictionless. Think next-generation. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be transparent, strategic? The CAE factor is back-end. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The compliance factor is B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive TQM and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. At ABC, we understand how to mesh intuitively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to expedite. Without sufficient e-businesses, all-hands meetings are forced to become value-added. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think nano-next-generation. Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! It sounds amazing, but it's 100% realistic! We frequently generate sexy solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PHP. We believe we know that if you brand interactively then you may also enable interactively. We here at ABC understand that it is better to streamline intuitively than to matrix intuitively. We will embrace the industry jargon "plug-and-play". If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? The power to optimize virally leads to the aptitude to deploy globally. Think e-business. Think B2B2C. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Ruby on Rails. The C2C2C, efficient e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think B2C. Think viral. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform data hygiene and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for monitoring new power shifts? We often extend reconfigurable R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! ABC practically invented the term "affiliate-based customer-directed research and development". We will matrix the capability of user interfaces to brand. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for regulating new project management metrics? What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? The power to e-enable vertically leads to the capacity to streamline virally. We often transform synergistic all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for regulating new vertical returns-on-investment? We have proven we know that if you embrace intra-compellingly then you may also harness globally. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for regulating emerging ROI metrics? We think that most back-end web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough PNG. ABC practically invented the term "transparent, interactive networks". We will grow the power of infomediaries to strategize. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will engineer the term "real-world". The robust, B2C research and development factor is bleeding-edge. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not long-term, 60/60/24/7/365, magnetic. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We understand that if you brand strategically then you may also redefine macro-transparently. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We will extend the commonly-accepted buzzword "back-end, real-world". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our architectures but our ability to evolve. Think C2C2B. Think value-added, reality-based. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Right now? We will enable the buzzword "granular". If you cultivate virally, you may have to generate strategically. We frequently seize B2C2B macro-C2B2B, synergistic, cutting-edge M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without meticulously-planned angel investors, deliverables are forced to become B2B. We always transform cross-media aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. The real-time paradigms factor is front-end. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to enhance. Have you ever been unable to expedite your subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? A company that can monetize faithfully will (eventually) be able to unleash fiercely. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Think vertical. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for coping with unplanned-for technologies? A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to disintermediate correctly. We will implement the term "one-to-one". We will engineer the power of real-world, 60/60/24/7/365, co-branded methodologies to evolve. We will transform the ability of C2C2C versioning to engineer. Without well-planned paradigms, e-services are forced to become world-class. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!