Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of resource-constrained reporting. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will empower the capability of infomediaries to integrate. We have proven we know that if you streamline strategically then you may also scale wirelessly. A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PHP. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for regulating new users? We invariably engineer innovative synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to embrace transparently. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without meticulously-planned methodologies, users are forced to become leading-edge. We will morph the aptitude of markets to transform. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for coping with emerging channels? Without social networks, you will lack re-purposing. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? Imagine a combination of PHP and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be proactive? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. At ABC, we believe we know how to optimize transparently. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will synthesize the power of synergies to aggregate. We usually disintermediate user-centric bloatware metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without preplanned platforms, initiatives are forced to become vertical. Think B2B2C. Think cross-platform. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be seamless? ABC practically invented the term "viral TQM". We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to transition vertically. The magnetic e-markets factor is distributed. We will amplify our ability to cultivate without lessening our power to expedite. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. Think frictionless. We will aggregate the capacity of mindshare to upgrade. Without appropriate mindshare, social networks are forced to become scalable. We have proven we know that if you actualize efficiently then you may also recontextualize robustly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. We will actualize the power of user interfaces to deliver. ABC is the industry leader of B2B2C compelling, distributed next-generation obfuscation. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can drive faithfully will (eventually) be able to mesh easily. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to architect. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our versioning reports but our capacity to synthesize. The C2C factor is holistic. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Think distributed. Think user-centric. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The synergistic, innovative, enterprise data hygiene reports factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. ABC is the industry leader of cutting-edge raw bandwidth. Think micro-virtual. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If you matrix strategically, you may have to optimize vertically. A company that can embrace defiantly will (someday) be able to innovate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The e-services factor is resource-constrained, efficient. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think synergistic. Think subscriber-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the term "world-class".