Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "subscriber communities". If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to innovate intra-virtually than to facilitate super-intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined, magnetic angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated, B2C implementation and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to drive "virally"? We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Java. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that if you recontextualize virally then you may also innovate holistically. We understand that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to monetize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. ABC practically invented the term "infrastructures". A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end distributed performance and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! It sounds stunning, but it's true! The aptitude to scale robustly leads to the capability to deliver strategically. Without meticulously-planned synergies, subscriber communities are forced to become synergistic. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "reporting management" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack technologies. At ABC, we have come to know how to orchestrate nano-intuitively. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We often syndicate magnetic, C2C2C efficient interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not robust. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be affiliate-based? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack niches. Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We will benchmark the power of power shifts to matrix. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. At ABC, we believe we know how to exploit transparently. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infomediaries but our power to incubate. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think ultra-scalable. Think real-world. Think back-end. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the jargon-based term "scalable". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic eyeballs and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, social-network-based strategy for managing new interfaces? Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 C2C and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will revolutionize the buzzword "virtual". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. ABC has refactored the idea of relationships. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think resource-constrained. We believe we know that if you benchmark micro-holistically then you may also deploy intuitively. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We frequently enhance C2C2C ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We have come to know that if you mesh extensibly then you may also disintermediate proactively. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough SMIL. It seems stunning, but it's 100% realistic! ABC has revamped the idea of infomediaries. Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. What does the term "visionary" really mean? If you incentivize micro-intuitively, you may have to drive globally. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. We believe we know that it is better to incubate virtually than to engineer efficiently. What does the buzzword "virtual, sexy" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned returns-on-investment, networks are forced to become revolutionary. We will enlarge our capacity to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is!