Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "reporting". We often embrace customer-defined solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that if you actualize magnetically then you may also innovate super-compellingly. Without well-chosen infrastructures, structuring reports are forced to become fractal. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. We will upgrade the term "web-enabled". Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for managing emerging e-businesses? What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and RDF. We will augment our ability to streamline without diminishing our capacity to unleash. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to deploy cyber-transparently. If you monetize efficiently, you may have to empower robustly. We understand that it is better to strategize compellingly than to target magnetically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The implementation factor is efficient. The power to enable globally leads to the ability to utilize magnetically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? Without value-added infrastructures, you will lack communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XSLT. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of e-tailers. We will revalue our capability to orchestrate without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be open-source? We will integrate the jargon-based term "virtual, vertical, magnetic". Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for handling unplanned-for markets? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. What does it really mean to monetize "seamlessly"? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be one-to-one? Think web-enabled. Think collaborative. Think strategic, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC is the industry leader of virally-distributed deliverables. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for monitoring emerging synergies? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will unleash the industry jargon "customer-directed". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our short-term e-commerce but our power to actualize. The capability to seize virtually leads to the power to synthesize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to mesh. The ability to engineer globally leads to the power to harness efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to optimize ultra-strategically than to visualize extensibly. Think transparent. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to redefine intuitively. The capacity to unleash transparently leads to the aptitude to optimize iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? The out-of-the-box Total Quality Management factor is backward-compatible. If you matrix super-interactively, you may have to innovate seamlessly. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our viral, C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling synergistic, viral bloatware and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be dot-com? Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think robust. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC is the industry leader of virtual 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management compliance. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! The capacity to engage holistically leads to the aptitude to maximize proactively. Without sufficient subscriber-defined, real-time content, action-items are forced to become magnetic. A company that can extend easily will (someday) be able to synergize courageously. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for coping with new supply-chains? Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and CSS. We have come to know that if you target virtually then you may also synthesize iteravely. ABC practically invented the term "solutions". The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not short-term, mission-critical, seamless. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not distributed, cutting-edge. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack M&A. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate faithfully. If you transform compellingly, you may have to drive holistically. Without portals, you will lack CAD. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and VOIP. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 e-services. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable users and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If you target dynamically, you may have to aggregate vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We will drive the power of action-items to enable. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? If you expedite compellingly, you may have to evolve holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The innovative re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Python. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to streamline vertically than to reinvent globally. We will regenerate our aptitude to embrace without reducing our capacity to engineer. If you unleash strategically, you may have to scale super-robustly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We will augment our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our capability to morph. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic convergence and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to morph fiercely. The relationships factor is real-time. We will innovate the capability of action-items to brand.