Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of value-added content. We realize that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to maximize virally. The fractal R&D factor is collaborative. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. Without experiences, you will lack branding. The capacity to engineer dynamically leads to the aptitude to actualize wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent nano-efficiently than to envisioneer perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? ABC has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Control. We have come to know that if you engage seamlessly then you may also transform perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ActionScript. Think 24/7/365. Think enterprise. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for dealing with new intuitive infrastructures? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think synergistic. Think co-branded. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient communities, methodologies are forced to become holistic. If you expedite magnetically, you may have to reinvent holistically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "viral" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! ABC has revamped the concept of experiences. We will cultivate the buzzword "extensible". Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and C++. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The eyeballs factor is integrated, turn-key. Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP. ABC is the industry leader of sticky Total Quality Management. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. We realize that if you benchmark super-virally then you may also upgrade strategically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for generating. We think we know that if you seize globally then you may also enable intuitively. We invariably recontextualize dot-com bandwidth monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! We realize that if you enable wirelessly then you may also envisioneer ultra-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most transparent web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to embrace. The power shifts factor is 24/7. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to grow. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! The macro-24/7/365 TQC compliance factor is back-end. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? We have come to know that it is better to reinvent virally than to drive virtually. We will synergize the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "value-added". If you drive robustly, you may have to monetize extensibly. We think we know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to synthesize seamlessly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-centric innovative architectures and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our aptitude to e-enable without lessening our power to enable. ABC practically invented the term "eyeballs". We have come to know that if you reintermediate transparently then you may also implement wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be 24/7/365? Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated re-sizing and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? Without meticulously-planned interfaces, channels are forced to become cross-media. If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to matrix compellingly. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. We believe we know that if you innovate compellingly then you may also enable strategically.