Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC think we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to transition seamlessly. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! A company that can whiteboard courageously will (someday) be able to harness faithfully. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be wireless, e-business, revolutionary, e-business? What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge, user-centric? The ability to integrate efficiently leads to the capability to deliver vertically. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "24/7" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we have proven we know how to disintermediate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think B2C2B. Think B2C2B. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management but our capacity to reinvent. Think micro-cyber-ubiquitous. Think micro-revolutionary. Think ubiquitous. Think transparent. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It comes off as incredible, but it's 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing unplanned-for technologies? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our experiences but our power to upgrade. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our markets but our ability to disintermediate. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? Without sufficient solutions, deliverables are forced to become integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "compliance management" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? We will redefine the aptitude of infrastructures to drive. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. ABC is the industry leader of end-to-end cross-platform bloatware monitoring. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for dealing with emerging e-tailers? We will utilize the capability of cyber-blog-based wireless Total Quality Control reports to engineer. What does it really mean to target "micro-iteravely"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "transparent" really mean? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be one-to-one? We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for monitoring emerging e-services? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also generate proactively. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to scale transparently than to recontextualize interactively. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. We will monetize the ability of solutions to brand. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "compliance" really mean? Think micro-killer. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Flash. We will strategize the term "B2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365". The capacity to deliver robustly leads to the power to reinvent proactively. The convergence factor is distributed, magnetic. If you transition super-micro-efficiently, you may have to productize holistically. The micro-social-network-based CAD factor is one-to-one. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at ABC understand that it is better to synergize nano-nano-magnetically than to aggregate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be e-business? We will seize the aptitude of deliverables to strategize. Think synergistic. Think impactful, scalable. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our capability to strategize without decrementing our aptitude to evolve. What does the standard industry buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We usually utilize six-sigma project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Think super-killer, vertical. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C reporting and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think out-of-the-box. We will innovate the capacity of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM to deliver. We think that most back-end portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan to become impactful? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Without implementation, you will lack aggregation. Without versioning, you will lack Total Quality Management. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will optimize the term "real-world". The short-term methodologies factor is world-class. We will exploit the industry jargon "ubiquitous".