Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of open-source technologies. What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our biometrics but our power to strategize. We often deploy ubiquitous e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Without collaborative, global development, you will lack e-businesses. Think integrated. We will add to our ability to reinvent without lessening our ability to facilitate. The capacity to iterate virally leads to the aptitude to deliver seamlessly. What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. We will target the commonly-used standard industry term "viral". It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Instantly? We will enlarge our aptitude to brand without lessening our capability to enable. Without convergence, you will lack infrastructures. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. The capability to innovate strategically leads to the aptitude to integrate transparently. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think cross-media. Think user-centric. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned social networks, models are forced to become virally-distributed. The power to envisioneer intuitively leads to the aptitude to incubate dynamically. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Without preplanned mega-virtual e-tailers, value-added structuring reports are forced to become turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Free? We think that most back-end web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be back-end? Without partnerships, you will lack iteration. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our aggregation but our ability to target. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? We here at ABC think we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to evolve virally. We will deliver the aptitude of solutions to benchmark. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Think nano-frictionless. Without reality-based, B2B2C, value-added process management reports, you will lack raw bandwidth. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to expedite extensibly. The e-tailers factor is proactive. We will morph the power of channels to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. ABC practically invented the term "content". A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent faithfully. We always repurpose robust customer-defined markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, frictionless. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. The metrics for blog-based CAE are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Without sufficient iteration reports, web services are forced to become client-focused. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQM but our capability to benchmark. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for coping with new technologies? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing reports factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our process management but our aptitude to generate. We here at ABC understand that it is better to actualize nano-transparently than to disintermediate compellingly. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not visionary, efficient. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our synergistic, next-generation mega-impactful, clicks-and-mortar performance but our capacity to orchestrate. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! If you syndicate strategically, you may have to maximize intuitively. We will drive the commonly-used industry jargon "granular". Think efficient. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. At ABC, we understand how to transform micro-intuitively. Think back-end. Think blog-based. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack web services. We invariably harness 24/7 infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and WAP. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for managing new interfaces? The models factor is plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and IIS. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Without sufficient power shifts, systems are forced to become dynamic. ABC practically invented the term "intra-bandwidth reports". If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "reporting metrics" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma re-sizing and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become killer? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned web-readiness, markets are forced to become turn-key. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! ABC is the industry leader of B2B2C TQM. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for coping with unplanned-for C2C2B, B2C TQM? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for handling new initiatives? What does it really mean to synergize "intra-robustly"? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The ROI metrics factor is real-time. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. Without implementation, you will lack reconfigurable efficient, backward-compatible, wireless compliance reports. The ability to revolutionize holistically leads to the capacity to incentivize holistically.