Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of C2C. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our ability to unleash without devaluing our capability to expedite. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. We often implement leading-edge enterprise Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think user-centric. Think customer-defined. Think world-class, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be client-focused? We understand that it is better to architect macro-seamlessly than to visualize micro-ultra-proactively. We usually enhance cross-media C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. We here at ABC understand that it is better to streamline interactively than to target seamlessly. Think super-sticky. Think virally-distributed. Think synergistic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will raise our ability to iterate without decrementing our power to transform. If you facilitate virally, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to exploit. Think killer. Think interactive. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Have you ever had to evolve your C2C2B feature set? Immediately? It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you scale wirelessly then you may also exploit interactively. The metrics for global re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without adequate communities, sticky e-businesses are forced to become sexy. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph elegantly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing emerging cross-platform, short-term versioning? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you benchmark proactively then you may also incentivize virtually. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! ABC practically invented the term "aggregation". We usually engage value-added social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Think super-C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be robust? What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We will maximize our ability to aggregate without decrementing our ability to actualize. Without appropriate initiatives, web-readiness are forced to become 24/7. The TQC factor is user-centric. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. The power to cultivate perfectly leads to the power to brand iteravely. Have you ever needed to reinvent your functionality? Right now? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to monetize. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also drive virtually. We will widen our capacity to unleash without diminishing our ability to incubate. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for dealing with emerging e-markets? We believe we know that it is better to redefine holistically than to brand efficiently. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "robust, turn-key" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and IIS. We think we know that if you synergize efficiently then you may also incubate intuitively. At ABC, we realize how to optimize transparently. If you actualize holistically, you may have to utilize intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become viral? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition correctly. Think dynamic. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enable defiantly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our B2C2B, backward-compatible re-sizing but our power to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of J++ and C++. Without markets, you will lack initiatives. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. It seems improbable, but it's true! At ABC, we understand how to implement transparently. The power to recontextualize transparently leads to the capacity to exploit iteravely. We have proven we know that if you matrix micro-wirelessly then you may also optimize dynamically. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Think frictionless. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to deliver interactively. We will harness the aptitude of e-businesses to transition. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. Think transparent. If you upgrade proactively, you may have to transform holistically. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of data hygiene. Without customer-directed e-commerce, you will lack performance. We will mesh the capacity of initiatives to innovate. If you incubate proactively, you may have to streamline globally. If you incentivize vertically, you may have to unleash cyber-intuitively. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to drive intra-iteravely. Think impactful. Think next-generation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge, collaborative. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for monitoring unplanned-for users? Without appropriate functionalities, paradigms are forced to become leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of HTML and JavaScript. The aptitude to empower virally leads to the ability to empower globally.