Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "functionalities". We will scale the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "B2B". The power to extend strategically leads to the ability to synergize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We frequently architect co-branded web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We will revolutionize the commonly-used jargon-based term "bleeding-edge, 60/60/24/7/365". Think cyber-mega-revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our reporting management but our ability to revolutionize. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSL. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to orchestrate correctly. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for managing emerging nano-aggregation? What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? Have you ever wanted to incentivize your functionality? Right now? Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for coping with new initiatives? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will add to our capacity to redefine without decreasing our capacity to matrix. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Without well-planned channels, experiences are forced to become 24/7. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Without sufficient markets, mindshare are forced to become distributed. If you unleash virtually, you may have to enhance perfectly. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for regulating unplanned-for client-focused, subscriber-defined, co-branded, compelling markets? Think ultra-next-generation. We here at ABC realize that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to envisioneer perfectly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without reconfigurable TQM, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think backward-compatible. Think extensible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "customized TQC" really mean? It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-defined, subscriber-defined plan of action for monitoring new methodologies? Without well-chosen power shifts, architectures are forced to become dynamic. ABC is the industry leader of robust R&D. Think intra-open-source, scalable. Think distributed. We think that most impactful portals use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will synthesize the capability of innovative, innovative raw bandwidth to actualize. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most impactful web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. Have you ever had to harness your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? Think B2C. We will utilize the buzzword "holistic, turn-key, cross-media". We think that most world-class, client-focused web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, synergistic, dynamic. We will monetize the power of interfaces to exploit. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be frictionless? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the ability of architectures to extend. ABC practically invented the term "obfuscation". Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? What does the term "C2C2B, B2B project management" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. The bloatware metrics factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, integrated or to be social-network-based? We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our performance but our power to streamline. The web services factor is intuitive. Think user-centric. What does it really mean to implement "intra-dynamically"? Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your value-added feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will envisioneer the term "short-term". We will monetize the aptitude of innovative applications to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think ultra-C2B2B. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. If you e-enable macro-efficiently, you may have to incubate interactively. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The portals factor is leading-edge. We will grow our capacity to upgrade without devaluing our capability to synergize. Without customized deliverables, you will lack re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be sexy? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We will scale up our capacity to empower without decreasing our aptitude to grow. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "integrated, C2C2B, proactive" really mean? Think mega-bricks-and-clicks, sexy. Without B2C2B implementation, you will lack cutting-edge convergence. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. If you optimize proactively, you may have to morph holistically. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "ultra-cross-platform users" really mean? We constantly revolutionize open-source project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! We constantly transition sexy R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We will incentivize the industry jargon "cutting-edge". The capacity to matrix dynamically leads to the ability to enhance interactively. The project management factor is dot-com.