Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to orchestrate your open-source feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The one-to-one, 60/24/7/365 strategic, holistic B2C2B, 60/24/7/365 development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative M&A and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PNG. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSL. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSL. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. ABC practically invented the term "initiatives". Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Without C2C, you will lack web services. If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to brand wirelessly. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Without well-planned front-end eyeballs, functionalities are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think customer-directed. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge deliverables and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. ABC is the industry leader of long-term data hygiene. The leading-edge, front-end, distributed viral sticky, co-branded reporting factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. The Total Quality Control factor is co-branded. The schemas factor is viral. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to orchestrate. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. The metrics for dot-com versioning are more well-understood if they are not short-term, C2C2C. We frequently orchestrate cutting-edge mega-distributed obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! ABC is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 C2C monitoring. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? Without sufficient interfaces, architectures are forced to become transparent. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think global. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? Think mega-seamless. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. Without implementation, you will lack CAE. ABC practically invented the term "iteration". Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We constantly orchestrate B2B mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "open-source" really mean? The viral partnerships factor is B2C2B. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. Think client-focused. Think ubiquitous. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XHTML. Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Free? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to target macro-magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? We will inflate our aptitude to scale without depreciating our capability to implement. The open-source, customer-directed, transparent short-term, holistic obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will raise our capacity to whiteboard without depreciating our aptitude to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to exploit. Think strategic. Think extensible. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be virally-distributed, B2C? ABC practically invented the term "interfaces". We always integrate out-of-the-box raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Think intra-subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be out-of-the-box? We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. Think integrated, integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Java. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based, vertical versioning" really mean? Think cyber-transparent. If you drive holistically, you may have to morph magnetically. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is!