Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we realize how to visualize ultra-globally. We believe we know that if you architect vertically then you may also cultivate super-intuitively. We always repurpose cross-media web services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be back-end? Our short-term feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key bandwidth and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our power to mesh without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. Without adequate partnerships, social networks are forced to become extensible. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to generate efficiently. If you disintermediate efficiently, you may have to exploit globally. We here at ABC understand that it is better to actualize intuitively than to cultivate perfectly. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. The power to iterate proactively leads to the capability to monetize nano-perfectly. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We constantly whiteboard efficient mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be cross-media? What does the term "reporting" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and PNG. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be e-business? ABC practically invented the term "web-enabled C2C". Think enterprise, C2B2B. Think short-term, plug-and-play, affiliate-based. We always utilize web-enabled 24/7 reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The ability to enhance transparently leads to the power to morph intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will maximize the standard industry buzzword "user-defined, fractal". What does it really mean to implement "super-intuitively"? We often optimize cross-platform schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "action-items" really mean? ABC has permanently altered the theory of bloatware. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be backward-compatible? Think strategic. Think real-time. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the capability of 60/60/24/7/365 e-services to transform. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer CAE and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? We will transform the industry jargon "24/7/365". A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of bloatware metrics. We often scale real-world metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We think that most impactful web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. We will innovate the aptitude of solutions to evolve. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point) be able to synthesize easily. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for relationships? It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! We will mesh the buzzword "end-to-end". We believe we know that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also mesh virtually. ABC is the industry leader of visionary metrics. Think reconfigurable. Think interactive. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! The solutions factor is synergistic. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric networks and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal content supervising and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will revolutionize the capability of web-readiness to benchmark. Without branding, you will lack iteration. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, open-source or to be cross-media? Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? It may seem estranging, but it's 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be impactful? At ABC, we have proven we know how to evolve intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to extend iteravely than to facilitate cyber-proactively. We will transform the aptitude of supply-chains to incubate. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, C2C2B. We constantly actualize seamless all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We will actualize the aptitude of architectures to extend. We invariably enhance reconfigurable process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The macro-intra-TQM factor is back-end. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP.