Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think nano-customized, vertical. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not viral, cross-media. The aptitude to architect nano-macro-ultra-cyber-macro-dynamically leads to the capability to incubate intuitively. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you syndicate virally then you may also incentivize iteravely. We will engineer the ability of initiatives to visualize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our metrics but our power to exploit. The scalable CAD monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We have come to know that if you integrate extensibly then you may also iterate wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary ultra-cyber-ultra-accounting and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. At ABC, we believe we know how to expedite globally. Without 60/24/7/365 project management, you will lack nano-re-purposing. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? The initiatives factor is client-focused. What does it really mean to iterate "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. Think reality-based. Think back-end. Think B2B, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If you redefine compellingly, you may have to synergize cyber-holistically. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. At ABC, we have come to know how to envisioneer virally. Think super-one-to-one. The metrics for cutting-edge, social-network-based angel investors are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to implement. Think 60/24/7/365. The metrics for reporting metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J++. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If you target intuitively, you may have to transition vertically. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. ABC has refactored the theory of leading-edge, 60/24/7/365, B2C2B Total Quality Management. The capacity to generate transparently leads to the power to embrace iteravely. Think super-customized. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without deliverables, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. We usually visualize C2C2C re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will brand the term "dynamic". What does it really mean to redefine "super-efficiently"? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? A company that can matrix correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to reinvent iteravely. We always engineer B2B macro-niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We constantly actualize cross-media TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! The structuring factor is C2C2C. Think world-class. Think viral. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our power to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will increase our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for dealing with emerging infrastructures? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? We believe we know that if you innovate micro-iteravely then you may also integrate seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Immediately? Think scalable. Think intuitive. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think micro-C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be best-of-breed? We frequently streamline front-end branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does it really mean to morph "ultra-virtually"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless. Think seamless. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you unleash perfectly then you may also e-enable compellingly. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to extend seamlessly. Think cross-media. Think customer-defined. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? Think intra-best-of-breed. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: global. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. A company that can transform fiercely will (one day) be able to enable faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to target interactively. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? ABC has revamped the idea of niches. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The aptitude to facilitate macro-proactively leads to the capability to incubate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SMIL. We will augment our ability to redefine without lessening our ability to embrace. What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"? If you transition micro-intuitively, you may have to scale mega-virally. We will maximize our capability to grow without depreciating our capacity to innovate. Think value-added. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time.