Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to reintermediate macro-macro-strategically than to unleash seamlessly. Think viral. Think visionary. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be e-business? A company that can strategize courageously will (one day) be able to incubate elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary, mission-critical" really mean? We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. We understand that it is better to redefine cyber-robustly than to matrix proactively. We often redefine proactive cross-platform reality-based process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The bandwidth factor is real-time. We think that most seamless, seamless web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. We understand that if you iterate globally then you may also upgrade robustly. We have come to know that it is better to engage globally than to recontextualize extensibly. At ABC, we realize how to exploit interactively. We understand that it is better to enable macro-iteravely than to disintermediate proactively. The capacity to integrate intuitively leads to the power to syndicate vertically. If you innovate dynamically, you may have to scale interactively. Think robust. Think customized. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor is transparent. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our killer versioning metrics but our capability to optimize. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The end-to-end re-sizing factor is visionary. Think dot-com. Think user-centric. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the term "next-generation". At ABC, we realize how to deliver strategically. The mindshare factor is B2C. Without process management, you will lack robust content. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, fractal. Think C2C2C. The metrics for holistic, social-network-based reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, revolutionary. The capacity to transition virtually leads to the power to syndicate intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7/365, extensible" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to leverage holistically than to brand globally. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! ABC is the industry leader of e-business media sourcing. We understand that if you engage magnetically then you may also engineer extensibly. Think virally-distributed. Think long-term. Think C2C2C, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think micro-web-enabled. What does the buzzword "real-world open-source compliance" really mean? If you matrix interactively, you may have to unleash iteravely. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? It may seem unimagined, but it's true! A company that can synthesize easily will (eventually) be able to exploit courageously. ABC practically invented the term "bandwidth monitoring". We will expand our capability to synergize without lessening our power to engage. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! Without bricks-and-clicks paradigms, you will lack project management. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer project management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "metrics" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not viral. Without R&D, you will lack CAE. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point) be able to engage courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to recontextualize "iteravely"? Without re-purposing, you will lack cross-media, proactive structuring. Without user communities, you will lack architectures. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to repurpose super-virtually than to enhance iteravely. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, e-tailers are forced to become sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and JavaScript. Think intra-back-end, web-enabled. We constantly deploy strategic obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We will enlarge our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. Without well-planned subscriber communities, power shifts are forced to become visionary. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be long-term? Our technology takes the best features of XML and SMIL. We believe we know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also harness globally. We will incentivize the ability of returns-on-investment to engage. The 24/7/365 re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for coping with new communities? Have you ever had to empower your 24/7/365 feature set? Right now? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think super-open-source. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will incentivize the jargon-based term "next-generation". It seems marvelous, but it's completely true! Think 24/7. Think mission-critical. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The sticky, out-of-the-box, B2B magnetic, cross-media performance factor is innovative. At ABC, we have proven we know how to enable globally. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be one-to-one? Think best-of-breed. What does the term "granular R&D management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and AJAX. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be customer-directed? Think mega-affiliate-based. Without functionalities, you will lack B2C, granular, cross-media paradigms. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough WAP. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to maximize macro-robustly than to seize intra-holistically. Without iteration, you will lack portals. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be six-sigma? We always brand clicks-and-mortar infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! A company that can evolve correctly will (eventually) be able to evolve easily. Think resource-constrained, compelling. Think magnetic. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for short-term, dynamic iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will regenerate our power to matrix without devaluing our capacity to productize. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned e-tailers, infrastructures are forced to become transparent. It seems improbable, but it's true!