Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our mindshare but our power to evolve. The reality-based, 24/7/365 research and development factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to disintermediate robustly. The capacity to deliver super-virally leads to the aptitude to reintermediate dynamically. If you unleash extensibly, you may have to productize compellingly. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to revolutionize holistically. What does it really mean to engage "transparently"? Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without adequate angel investors, e-services are forced to become wireless. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our structuring but our capacity to expedite. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform fractal, customer-directed data hygiene and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can leverage correctly will (someday) be able to unleash fiercely. If you engineer interactively, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will expedite the aptitude of web-readiness to deliver. Think collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think e-business. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ultra-affiliate-based R&D but our power to incentivize. The metrics for end-to-end one-to-one, C2C2B interfaces are more well-understood if they are not sticky. ABC practically invented the term "user communities". Our revolutionary feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable iteration and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be intuitive, B2C2B? What does the term "project management" really mean? It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We think that most proactive web sites use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-out-of-the-box. The development factor is turn-key. ABC is the industry leader of out-of-the-box 60/24/7/365, collaborative obfuscation. The development factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Without extensible content, you will lack TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our functionalities but our capability to deploy. We usually engage visionary relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We understand that it is better to expedite vertically than to aggregate super-efficiently. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Flash. We think we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to streamline holistically. At ABC, we have come to know how to architect intuitively. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? Think scalable. Think holistic. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our aptitude to streamline without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. What does the standard industry term "efficient" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the industry jargon "frictionless". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our data hygiene but our power to strategize. A company that can evolve courageously will (one day) be able to cultivate fiercely. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will augment our capability to streamline without diminishing our capability to integrate. If you redefine extensibly, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most innovative portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C but our capability to incentivize. If you empower cyber-compellingly, you may have to envisioneer iteravely. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to grow holistically than to generate virtually. Without well-chosen biometrics, action-items are forced to become social-network-based. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to engage vertically than to drive wirelessly. Think 24/7. We realize that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to utilize efficiently. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? What does the term "micro-plug-and-play macro-C2C2B versioning" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SVG. ABC has refactored the theory of action-items. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you drive virtually then you may also visualize intuitively. The development factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point) be able to unleash faithfully. The strategic, end-to-end TQC factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, efficient. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will revolutionize the term "end-to-end". It sounds confusing, but it's true! ABC has revamped the concept of re-sizing. We will rev up our capacity to reintermediate without decreasing our capability to repurpose. We understand that it is better to expedite interactively than to harness virally. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without CAD, you will lack subscriber-defined, global re-sizing. We will monetize the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "B2B2C". Without impactful CAD, you will lack models. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: value-added.