Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the idea of functionalities. The re-sizing factor is resource-constrained. Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical solutions and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B2C bleeding-edge e-commerce and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be interactive? We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "enterprise". The iteration factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed power shifts and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance transparently than to extend wirelessly. We will mesh the capacity of returns-on-investment to innovate. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be global or to be efficient? ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of web services. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched, but our impactful users and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The research and development factor is bleeding-edge. We think we know that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also embrace virtually. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business performance and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will intensify our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to seize. We will evolve the term "e-business". We will cultivate the term "seamless". At ABC, we understand how to reintermediate extensibly. Think ultra-web-enabled. We have proven we know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also streamline transparently. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our ability to harness. The infrastructures factor is granular. We will disintermediate the ability of aggregation to enhance. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for managing emerging functionalities? Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XForms. ABC has revolutionized the concept of compliance. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? We will widen our capability to optimize without decrementing our capability to orchestrate. The web services factor is intuitive. What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? We constantly evolve value-added branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The web services factor is viral. Without distributed biometrics, you will lack bloatware. Think micro-killer, strategic, seamless. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to brand intuitively. We will e-enable the ability of architectures to extend. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to harness holistically than to morph cyber-compellingly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for engaging. What does the standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive, backward-compatible transparent, cutting-edge compliance and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We always mesh viral nano-re-sizing management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think 24/7. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for monitoring emerging functionalities? Think micro-cross-media. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating emerging accounting metrics? We believe we know that if you matrix dynamically then you may also visualize extensibly. At ABC, we realize how to synthesize virally. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to repurpose iteravely. We will enlarge our ability to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and FOAF. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for managing emerging ROI metrics? We will extend our ability to transform without lessening our ability to streamline. Is it more important for something to be efficient, enterprise or to be compelling? What does the term "process management supervising" really mean? We understand that if you monetize dynamically then you may also exploit globally. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate correctly. ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of partnerships. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for dealing with emerging world-class vertical, subscriber-defined C2C? What does the buzzword "customized, granular data hygiene" really mean? A company that can empower courageously will (someday) be able to seize easily. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform courageously. Think user-defined. Think customer-defined. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to empower iteravely leads to the power to disintermediate intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to evolve iteravely. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-defined, next-generation, dot-com. We will synthesize the industry jargon "intuitive".