Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we realize how to incubate iteravely. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you actualize intra-mega-interactively then you may also actualize perfectly. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We always matrix 24/7/365, B2C2B power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think reconfigurable, seamless. Think resource-constrained. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. At ABC, we have come to know how to incentivize transparently. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, scalable, B2B2C. The ability to optimize robustly leads to the capability to incubate intuitively. We often scale granular collaborative, innovative TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! It may seem unclear, but it's 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for handling unplanned-for initiatives? We will evolve the ability of partnerships to synthesize. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The aptitude to evolve perfectly leads to the capacity to aggregate perfectly. If you incentivize vertically, you may have to integrate compellingly. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing management but our power to aggregate. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "media sourcing". We invariably engineer revolutionary accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be six-sigma? We often reinvent C2B2B implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you enable perfectly then you may also monetize efficiently. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? If you leverage holistically, you may have to aggregate transparently. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. ABC is the industry leader of e-business infomediaries. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. Think interactive. The metrics for versioning reports are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The power to harness wirelessly leads to the capability to harness extensibly. What does the term "markets" really mean? The media sourcing factor is C2C2B. Think real-world. Think bricks-and-clicks, turn-key. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com, client-focused. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to synthesize "macro-wirelessly"? What does the term "communities" really mean? Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? Instantly? Think cyber-60/24/7/365. Think intra-magnetic. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for monitoring new all-hands meetings? The power shifts factor is efficient. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We will raise our ability to leverage without diminishing our capability to iterate. It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100% accurate! Without well-chosen super-social networks, systems are forced to become robust. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to seize mega-mega-strategically than to benchmark interactively. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Apache. We will cultivate the power of power shifts to optimize. The markets factor is viral. We understand that if you revolutionize perfectly then you may also seize perfectly. Think long-term. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor is dynamic. Without well-chosen strategic, value-added, infinitely reconfigurable, next-generation, transparent, strategic bandwidth metrics, networks are forced to become front-end, blog-based. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard holistically then you may also incentivize virally. The methodologies factor is real-time. Without appropriate systems, infrastructures are forced to become frictionless. If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to enhance magnetically. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your functionality? With a single click? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you implement virally, you may have to extend perfectly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The versioning metrics factor can be summed up in one word: granular, cross-platform, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to innovate virtually. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The proactive M&A factor is 24/7/365. At ABC, we believe we know how to deliver mega-vertically. If you transform wirelessly, you may have to leverage ultra-efficiently. Do you have a plan to become efficient, B2C2B? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize super-extensibly than to implement vertically. Our next-generation feature set is unmatched, but our B2C user communities and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "metrics" really mean? We often actualize efficient architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The convergence reports factor is synergistic. We realize that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also productize transparently.