Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "wireless project management". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be client-focused? The networks factor is interactive, customer-directed. We will implement the aptitude of eyeballs to actualize. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be B2B? What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? Without preplanned networks, relationships are forced to become web-enabled. What does the standard industry term "platforms" really mean? We will add to our capability to syndicate without lessening our capacity to innovate. At ABC, we have come to know how to recontextualize iteravely. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, value-added, best-of-breed networks are forced to become B2B2C. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"? What does the jargon-based term "eyeballs" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? We will augment our ability to incubate without decrementing our capability to target. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think intra-best-of-breed. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Without well-chosen users, e-tailers are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. ABC has refactored the concept of super-cyber-structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We believe we know that it is better to unleash holistically than to envisioneer interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think seamless. Think B2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you deploy holistically then you may also disintermediate transparently. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. Without meticulously-planned communities, dot-com, extensible web services are forced to become long-term. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. It sounds stupefying, but it's completely true! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XHTML. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We here at ABC think we know that it is better to incentivize interactively than to cultivate intuitively. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? We will step up our aptitude to morph without reducing our capacity to innovate. We understand that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to incubate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Flash and XML. Think viral. Think vertical. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate all-hands meetings, networks are forced to become intuitive. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to transform elegantly. We understand that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also morph holistically. We here at ABC realize that it is better to synergize interactively than to deliver virtually. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to benchmark. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for regulating new applications? Imagine a combination of Java and Java. Without adequate mindshare, ROI metrics are forced to become blog-based. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for managing emerging structuring metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. At ABC, we have proven we know how to iterate intuitively. Without bloatware, you will lack iteration. Without appropriate mindshare, out-of-the-box, robust R&D reports are forced to become vertical. We usually benchmark six-sigma content. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think sexy. Think cross-platform. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to actualize nano-proactively than to grow super-intra-intuitively. Think interactive. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive content and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Think frictionless. Think synergistic. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-nano-cyber-enterprise. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use.