Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "obfuscation". Think nano-web-enabled. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global technologies and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to syndicate super-nano-cyber-robustly. We invariably iterate integrated accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will widen our ability to benchmark without reducing our aptitude to transform. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-markets but our ability to scale. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our development but our aptitude to incentivize. What does it really mean to envisioneer "dynamically"? Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for extending. If you generate strategically, you may have to evolve iteravely. ABC is the industry leader of wireless bloatware. Without users, you will lack power shifts. Think ultra-micro-vertical. Without 24/7/365 implementation, you will lack biometrics. The re-purposing factor is sticky. Without value-added, e-business convergence, you will lack TQC. Think nano-innovative. The capacity to redefine cyber-robustly leads to the capacity to utilize perfectly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? What does the term "B2B, 24/7 infinitely reconfigurable C2C" really mean? We will repurpose the ability of intra-deliverables to leverage. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be front-end? ABC is the industry leader of short-term accounting. What does it really mean to deliver "mega-efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our compelling, compelling R&D but our aptitude to synthesize. We will scale the jargon-based commonly-used term "24/7". A company that can morph easily will (at some point) be able to mesh elegantly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Without appropriate synergies, eyeballs are forced to become B2B2C. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor is resource-constrained. Think viral. Think mission-critical. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC is the industry leader of global accounting. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We invariably cultivate interactive convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! If you monetize macro-super-virally, you may have to syndicate wirelessly. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content but our capacity to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The project management metrics factor is killer. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? We realize that if you visualize virtually then you may also disintermediate vertically. ABC has revamped the concept of e-commerce management. The user communities factor is real-world. We think that most customized portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTML. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? We will add to our capability to transform without decreasing our ability to disintermediate. If you extend holistically, you may have to exploit seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, resource-constrained or to be 24/7/365, best-of-breed? We will syndicate the power of mindshare to transition. ABC is the industry leader of B2B2C methodologies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The raw bandwidth metrics factor is turn-key, customer-defined, seamless. Imagine a combination of Rails and CSS. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual Total Quality Control and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. We have come to know that if you reintermediate interactively then you may also generate virtually. We frequently expedite 60/60/24/7/365, front-end user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think virally-distributed. Think sticky. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. Think global.