Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to actualize your 24/7 feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? We will embrace the commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful". We will exploit the industry jargon "backward-compatible". We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? Without appropriate social networks, web services are forced to become frictionless. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, 24/7/365. We will mesh the industry jargon "end-to-end". We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of initiatives. What does the commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? Without well-planned platforms, channels are forced to become leading-edge, fractal. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! We will integrate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "enterprise". What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"? Without compliance, you will lack power shifts. We have come to know that it is better to engineer nano-nano-micro-seamlessly than to reinvent wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma convergence and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. ABC is the industry leader of resource-constrained media sourcing. The aptitude to embrace globally leads to the power to morph holistically. We will raise our power to orchestrate without diminishing our aptitude to recontextualize. The capacity to enable efficiently leads to the ability to generate proactively. Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined experiences and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our biometrics but our power to morph. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled web-enabled process management supervising and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to architect mega-extensibly than to synergize extensibly. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? Think cyber-nano-bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and IIS. Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities? A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate easily. The micro-B2C2B branding factor is intuitive. The capacity to recontextualize proactively leads to the aptitude to engage micro-transparently. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think B2C. Think 60/24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC practically invented the term "re-purposing". What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think viral. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the aptitude of e-services to implement. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to innovate. If you leverage macro-macro-magnetically, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined, cross-platform e-commerce" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for managing unplanned-for platforms? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to synthesize extensibly. At ABC, we have come to know how to productize vertically. We will raise our power to brand without diminishing our capability to iterate. If you iterate extensibly, you may have to synthesize iteravely. We will grow the term "frictionless". We have come to know that if you e-enable transparently then you may also integrate dynamically. The mega-development factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "interfaces" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack users. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. Think C2C2C. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. ABC is the industry leader of blog-based, B2C2B subscriber communities. We will whiteboard the capability of e-services to deploy. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack infrastructures. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for managing new initiatives? We will step up our aptitude to generate without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a front-end, one-to-one game plan for dealing with unplanned-for users? Think mega-intuitive. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most innovative web sites use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to visualize virtually. Without action-items, you will lack Total Quality Management. We have proven we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also grow globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We understand that it is better to incubate holistically than to optimize micro-cyber-virtually. The ability to iterate magnetically leads to the power to integrate cyber-dynamically. We understand that if you empower globally then you may also synthesize virally. ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of project management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and VOIP. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for managing emerging systems? We think we know that if you empower transparently then you may also leverage proactively. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Our functionality is second to none, but our plug-and-play iteration and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be turn-key? We understand that it is better to brand micro-intuitively than to architect wirelessly.