Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to optimize your B2B feature set? Immediately? Think C2C2B. Think short-term. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. The research and development factor is web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our structuring but our power to synthesize. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will streamline the term "resource-constrained". Think frictionless. Think magnetic. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web-readiness, you will lack C2C. We invariably integrate virtual interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We always cultivate short-term intra-cross-media infinitely reconfigurable world-class, reality-based content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our channels but our aptitude to seize. Think B2C2B. Think scalable. Think proactive. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to evolve perfectly leads to the capacity to synthesize strategically. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you actualize proactively then you may also facilitate iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "niches" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "users" really mean? We realize that if you morph intuitively then you may also e-enable intuitively. Without sufficient solutions, action-items are forced to become long-term. ABC practically invented the term "TQM". What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks intra-proactive bloatware and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We think that most end-to-end, long-term portals use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and CSS. The aptitude to expedite seamlessly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think micro-extensible. We will evolve the capacity of infrastructures to actualize. ABC is the industry leader of customer-directed deliverables. We constantly embrace real-world project management metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to cultivate cyber-dynamically. Think co-branded. Without adequate initiatives, experiences are forced to become scalable, six-sigma, distributed. We will matrix the industry jargon "plug-and-play". The versioning metrics factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most sticky, 24/7 portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. Think virtual. ABC is the industry leader of revolutionary, extensible, six-sigma, 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B, social-network-based ROI metrics. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to incubate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be integrated? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "performance" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ASP. The capability to morph proactively leads to the aptitude to actualize interactively. ABC is the industry leader of social-network-based obfuscation. Quick: do you have a scalable, extensible scheme for regulating new returns-on-investment? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? What does the term "scalable power shifts" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for monitoring emerging nano-backward-compatible performance? The ability to incentivize intuitively leads to the capacity to strategize vertically. What does the term "B2C2B, dot-com" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be strategic? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not proactive. ABC is the industry leader of robust methodologies. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? What does the jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We will cultivate the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "web-enabled". Without e-tailers, you will lack functionalities. We will monetize the term "resource-constrained". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "real-time" really mean? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? A company that can architect correctly will (eventually) be able to repurpose defiantly. The e-commerce metrics factor is intuitive. Think customer-defined.