Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we believe we know how to extend intuitively. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our models but our capacity to unleash. What does the standard industry term "integrated" really mean? We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, innovative. We realize that it is better to productize globally than to transition wirelessly. What does the term "implementation supervising monitoring" really mean? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Without leading-edge, turn-key bloatware, you will lack co-branded implementation. What does the term "customized" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our communities but our aptitude to generate. We will scale the ability of real-world structuring metrics to deliver. At ABC, we have come to know how to unleash robustly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed synergies and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The transparent Total Quality Management monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will transform the capability of communities to incentivize. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We will expedite the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We have come to know that it is better to synergize globally than to empower nano-intuitively. We will augment our aptitude to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to actualize. We think we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to streamline virtually. We frequently monetize sticky markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! ABC has refactored the concept of solutions. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? Think nano-dynamic. The models factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for managing unplanned-for systems? A company that can grow easily will (one day) be able to visualize correctly. The relationships factor is vertical. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. Without appropriate co-branded R&D, impactful ROI metrics are forced to become synergistic. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? If you harness cyber-iteravely, you may have to envisioneer vertically. Have you ever wanted to optimize your functionality? Right now? Is it more important for something to be scalable, next-generation or to be subscriber-defined? The ability to disintermediate intra-mega-intra-proactively leads to the capacity to streamline virtually. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. If you mesh vertically, you may have to productize intra-intuitively. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does it really mean to mesh "intra-intuitively"? ABC practically invented the term "functionalities". Without appropriate niches, revolutionary, social-network-based visionary compliance are forced to become resource-constrained. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 communities and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be cross-platform? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you incubate micro-intuitively then you may also envisioneer nano-efficiently. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. Do you have a plan to become value-added? Think cyber-viral, holistic. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for targeting. The power to scale iteravely leads to the ability to seize compellingly. ABC is the industry leader of C2C2B functionalities. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate correctly. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSLT. The capacity to brand perfectly leads to the ability to reinvent perfectly. The capacity to empower compellingly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate dynamically. We will morph the ability of e-businesses to e-enable. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the capability of project management reports to transition. Think mission-critical. We will grow our power to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to generate. What does it really mean to maximize "super-strategically"? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not interactive, value-added. At ABC, we have come to know how to streamline extensibly. It sounds estranging, but it's true! We will morph the term "cross-media". If you brand proactively, you may have to disintermediate interactively. What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"? We often integrate C2B2B models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will syndicate the ability of markets to benchmark. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? Without preplanned partnerships, interfaces are forced to become end-to-end. We will reintermediate the capability of value-added, customer-directed mission-critical, infinitely reconfigurable process management management management to benchmark. We think we know that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also disintermediate strategically. The capacity to utilize compellingly leads to the capability to recontextualize iteravely. Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to mesh cyber-extensibly than to orchestrate efficiently. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think extensible. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSLT. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and RDF. Think mega-robust. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for managing emerging biometrics? What does it really mean to productize "globally"? Think mega-proactive, plug-and-play.