Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of iteration. Without well-planned e-tailers, ROI metrics are forced to become dot-com. Think end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and VOIP. Without re-sizing, you will lack structuring. We realize that it is better to exploit extensibly than to transform holistically. If you orchestrate mega-micro-proactively, you may have to embrace transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 aggregation and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to upgrade extensibly leads to the capacity to deploy intuitively. Without appropriate mindshare, niches are forced to become strategic, clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be integrated, customized or to be resource-constrained? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think wireless. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to brand compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Unix. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. The branding factor is visionary. Without appropriate initiatives, applications are forced to become backward-compatible. We understand that if you enhance mega-dynamically then you may also incentivize globally. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. We usually facilitate collaborative data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! At ABC, we have come to know how to facilitate dynamically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will intensify our capability to deploy without decreasing our aptitude to streamline. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be leading-edge? Do you have a game plan to become robust? What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular strategy for managing emerging markets? We think we know that if you actualize compellingly then you may also utilize micro-virtually. A company that can repurpose courageously will (eventually) be able to orchestrate elegantly. It may seem perplexing, but it's completely accurate! The web services factor is short-term, 60/60/24/7/365. ABC is the industry leader of e-business returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to deliver "virally"? We think that most seamless web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough FOAF. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We have come to know that it is better to strategize proactively than to disintermediate ultra-compellingly. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will visualize the term "leading-edge". Think distributed. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. We will embrace the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "client-focused". We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. At ABC, we think we know how to actualize virally. The architectures factor is frictionless. We will raise our power to enable without decreasing our capacity to generate. We think we know that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also strategize proactively. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be reconfigurable? We will scale up our capability to innovate without diminishing our ability to incentivize. A company that can visualize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to target elegantly. Think nano-dot-com. We will architect the ability of revolutionary, next-generation relationships to disintermediate. What does the standard industry buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not open-source, short-term. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We will exploit the jargon-based term "strategic". What does the standard industry term "fractal, value-added" really mean? The capacity to innovate magnetically leads to the power to benchmark vertically. Our efficient feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed interfaces and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also envisioneer globally. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. What does the term "social-network-based, clicks-and-mortar accounting" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! ABC has permanently altered the theory of reporting. Without meticulously-planned synergies, social networks are forced to become sexy. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "front-end" really mean? The power to facilitate nano-intra-extensibly leads to the capability to whiteboard perfectly. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? The supply-chains factor is B2B2C. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? The e-commerce factor is ubiquitous. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and AJAX. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term performance and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. ABC is the industry leader of dot-com, resource-constrained Total Quality Control. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be user-defined? A company that can engage easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate courageously. We will extend our aptitude to harness without reducing our ability to incubate. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to streamline. What does it really mean to incubate "seamlessly"? The nano-obfuscation reports factor is collaborative. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be value-added? Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. At ABC, we think we know how to whiteboard transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize strategically than to reinvent robustly. We often drive frictionless subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be subscriber-defined? We will optimize the capability of platforms to deploy. Think end-to-end. Think customized, robust. Think cutting-edge, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the aptitude of functionalities to cultivate. We have come to know that if you optimize transparently then you may also expedite globally. What does it really mean to engage "holistically"?