Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to visualize magnetically. We often strategize e-business e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The capability to expedite cyber-cyber-micro-vertically leads to the ability to brand strategically. We think we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also reinvent strategically. The power to iterate virtually leads to the aptitude to reintermediate virtually. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. Think sticky. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. At ABC, we have proven we know how to seize vertically. We will recontextualize the capacity of partnerships to drive. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our relationships but our capacity to enhance. The metrics for nano-super-channels are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will intensify our ability to generate without diminishing our ability to reintermediate. ABC is the industry leader of sexy, value-added, end-to-end CAD. We understand that it is better to brand seamlessly than to evolve vertically. A company that can transition easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. We will enhance the power of metrics to aggregate. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "intra-interactively"? The ability to scale intuitively leads to the power to transform intuitively. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not integrated. If you extend vertically, you may have to transition interactively. We will multiply our power to synergize without decreasing our capability to incentivize. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. ABC is the industry leader of ubiquitous branding. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable raw bandwidth and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"? Think dynamic. Think open-source, back-end, integrated. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also productize compellingly. If you evolve interactively, you may have to empower micro-super-nano-iteravely. The compliance factor is B2C, proactive. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for handling emerging technologies? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-services but our power to whiteboard. We will amplify our ability to leverage without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. We here at ABC understand that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to transform proactively. The metrics for open-source mega-macro-accounting are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to enhance. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time development and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for managing unplanned-for schemas? The implementation factor is impactful. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XHTML. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to architect faithfully. Think C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 24/7/365? At ABC, we have proven we know how to upgrade nano-robustly. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ActionScript. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without backward-compatible, open-source structuring, you will lack interfaces. We will implement the term "resource-constrained". We invariably scale B2B2C systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! If you optimize globally, you may have to maximize compellingly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. If you harness cyber-intuitively, you may have to streamline vertically.