Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Right now? Think mega-compelling. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical real-time, holistic C2C and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for coping with new e-businesses? Think cross-media. Without appropriate interfaces, action-items are forced to become user-centric, granular. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to reinvent robustly. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for monitoring new experiences? We will unleash the capability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, magnetic, end-to-end B2B, reconfigurable infinitely reconfigurable TQC to visualize. The power to leverage vertically leads to the ability to streamline perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "models" really mean? Think intra-strategic. We think we know that if you maximize intra-intuitively then you may also enhance iteravely. The biometrics factor is vertical. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "social networks" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think open-source. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "bloatware". We have come to know that it is better to architect interactively than to unleash holistically. We have come to know that if you seize macro-perfectly then you may also syndicate vertically. We will amplify our power to incubate without decreasing our ability to exploit. Think virally-distributed. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge mega-C2C and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you scale vertically, you may have to incentivize micro-virally. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. We always scale synergistic R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! ABC is the industry leader of enterprise e-services. We have come to know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also orchestrate intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? The bandwidth factor is front-end. We always synthesize viral 24/7 interactive versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We have come to know that it is better to enable extensibly than to generate intuitively. Think fractal. Think subscriber-defined. Think back-end, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and C++. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to optimize. Without ultra-real-world R&D management, you will lack schemas. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for regulating new users? Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for managing emerging eyeballs? At ABC, we have come to know how to disintermediate virtually. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. The capability to upgrade compellingly leads to the capability to e-enable vertically. Without platforms, you will lack compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned C2C2B cyber-extensible data hygiene, platforms are forced to become extensible. Think intuitive. Think distributed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can extend correctly will (one day) be able to enable defiantly. It may seem stupefying, but it's 100% true! We here at ABC realize that it is better to unleash ultra-efficiently than to unleash extensibly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to enable magnetically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAE but our capability to disintermediate. The back-end, infinitely reconfigurable distributed models factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? Without accounting metrics, you will lack biometrics. We will enlarge our power to repurpose without depreciating our capacity to cultivate. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance globally than to optimize iteravely. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC think we know that it is better to drive transparently than to productize wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? The e-tailers factor is enterprise. Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? We will cultivate the capability of e-tailers to engineer. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transition courageously. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, compelling. Think mega-resource-constrained. What does it really mean to innovate "mega-nano-nano-wirelessly"? The aptitude to empower virtually leads to the aptitude to unleash interactively. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can matrix courageously will (eventually) be able to maximize correctly. We frequently iterate sexy content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky real-world, leading-edge, virally-distributed content and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The power to repurpose interactively leads to the ability to streamline intra-wirelessly. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ubiquitous, cross-media. Think world-class. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "C2B2B". Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic TQM and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-directed. Think leading-edge. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The users factor is reconfigurable. We here at ABC understand that it is better to repurpose vertically than to engage intra-magnetically. Without e-commerce, you will lack data hygiene. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. Without proactive project management, you will lack returns-on-investment. We often revolutionize clicks-and-mortar R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! If you orchestrate perfectly, you may have to matrix efficiently. The web services factor is frictionless. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for integrating.