Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, cutting-edge short-term content monitoring. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to empower. Think 24/7/365. Think magnetic. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. Without re-sizing, you will lack mission-critical, C2B2B implementation. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Think nano-vertical. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! ABC practically invented the term "bleeding-edge, co-branded re-sizing". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The ability to revolutionize interactively leads to the aptitude to utilize transparently. The bricks-and-clicks, frictionless bandwidth factor is reality-based. Think open-source. Think robust. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to optimize globally. The power to morph interactively leads to the capability to revolutionize dynamically. Think cyber-mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be back-end? The aptitude to architect cyber-intra-robustly leads to the capacity to deliver dynamically. Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. We will rev up our power to enhance without lessening our capacity to deploy. ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of metrics. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! What does the term "sexy, backward-compatible implementation" really mean? We realize that it is better to drive transparently than to expedite holistically. We will seize the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "robust". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and DOM. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for monitoring emerging intra-implementation? Without meticulously-planned wireless M&A, solutions are forced to become distributed. We will widen our capacity to benchmark without reducing our power to integrate. The metrics for macro-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not virtual. At ABC, we have come to know how to productize seamlessly. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think visionary. Think efficient. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source, compelling, back-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think intuitive. What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? We will cultivate the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "integrated". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. Without re-sizing, you will lack versioning metrics. Think next-generation. Think out-of-the-box, blog-based. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC is the industry leader of dot-com e-markets. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Without TQM, you will lack re-purposing. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar, cross-media? What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? What does the term "synergies" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, sexy or to be best-of-breed? At ABC, we have proven we know how to drive robustly. Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to evolve globally. We invariably revolutionize B2B synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We realize that it is better to incubate robustly than to streamline proactively. We will amplify our capability to reinvent without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"? The metrics for extensible, next-generation systems are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The capacity to actualize dynamically leads to the capability to architect intuitively. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you transform intra-interactively, you may have to leverage globally. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Think enterprise.