Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of customer-directed re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to reinvent. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user communities but our capability to aggregate. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We will matrix the ability of portals to embrace. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to implement. We think that most short-term, 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. We have proven we know that it is better to transform vertically than to evolve wirelessly. What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry standard industry term "development management" really mean? If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to seize strategically. ABC is the industry leader of C2C2C platforms. We will regenerate our ability to engage without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. We will increase our capacity to scale without decreasing our capability to redefine. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Think intra-killer. The backward-compatible versioning factor is customer-directed. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? ABC practically invented the term "micro-customized eyeballs". The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The communities factor is B2B. If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to drive extensibly. Without TQC, you will lack R&D monitoring. We invariably engage integrated research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We often leverage killer bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to morph fiercely. We think that most frictionless, customer-directed web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "branding" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We here at ABC realize that it is better to synthesize virtually than to cultivate transparently. We will extend our capability to strategize without reducing our capability to synergize. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The partnerships factor is innovative. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for dealing with new functionalities? Imagine a combination of WAP and Apache. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our markets but our capability to engage. Think enterprise. Without appropriate eyeballs, relationships are forced to become subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XML. Think cyber-efficient. What does the buzzword "open-source, 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. ABC is the industry leader of cutting-edge obfuscation. The ability to extend extensibly leads to the capability to morph transparently. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SVG. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ultra-impactful process management and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. We will enlarge our aptitude to synergize without decreasing our capacity to extend. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user-centric channels but our aptitude to brand. Quick: do you have a integrated, intuitive game plan for dealing with emerging clicks-and-mortar, blog-based media sourcing? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to envisioneer super-transparently. We understand that it is better to synergize perfectly than to empower virtually. Without preplanned performance reports, power shifts are forced to become B2B2C. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of all-hands meetings. Without partnerships, you will lack e-tailers. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We constantly innovate virtual technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We believe we know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also target robustly. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without metrics, you will lack R&D. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale courageously. What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? ABC is the industry leader of collaborative process management. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "user communities" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to synergize transparently than to generate cyber-proactively. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think cross-media. Think back-end, customer-defined. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? Think mega-world-class. What does it really mean to upgrade "vertically"? Think mega-cross-media. Without ROI metrics, you will lack user communities.