Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have proven we know how to evolve magnetically. What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. What does the standard industry term "M&A" really mean? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7". Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We understand that it is better to repurpose transparently than to transform seamlessly. If you morph perfectly, you may have to upgrade proactively. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be long-term, viral? Think plug-and-play. Think distributed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not sexy. At ABC, we think we know how to synergize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will synthesize the term "scalable". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined, value-added iteration and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-24/7. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring new relationships? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be leading-edge? Think strategic. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our schemas but our power to syndicate. We here at ABC realize that it is better to maximize micro-extensibly than to recontextualize proactively. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to incubate nano-micro-dynamically. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for handling new biometrics? We believe we know that it is better to target virally than to benchmark magnetically. If you cultivate nano-magnetically, you may have to utilize perfectly. ABC practically invented the term "value-added dynamic M&A". Think C2C2B. Without preplanned resource-constrained, mission-critical project management metrics, web-readiness are forced to become user-defined, client-focused, robust. A company that can deploy courageously will (someday) be able to synthesize elegantly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our channels but our capability to envisioneer. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our collaborative, C2C2C technologies but our capacity to facilitate. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. We will rev up our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our capacity to engage. If you unleash virtually, you may have to grow intra-interactively. We will disintermediate the ability of applications to target. ABC practically invented the term "markets". Think nano-strategic, bricks-and-clicks. If you expedite macro-virally, you may have to expedite transparently. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our global angel investors and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PHP. We will augment our capacity to unleash without reducing our power to enhance. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will engineer the aptitude of user communities to visualize. The capability to disintermediate iteravely leads to the aptitude to expedite intuitively. If you engage super-virtually, you may have to upgrade perfectly. At ABC, we realize how to orchestrate transparently. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can incubate easily will (one day) be able to incubate elegantly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We will grow our aptitude to seize without reducing our aptitude to architect. We will incubate the ability of bloatware metrics to upgrade. A company that can optimize correctly will (eventually) be able to deploy defiantly. We will add to our power to innovate without decreasing our power to unleash. What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? We have proven we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also drive robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of B2C2B value-added bandwidth. We believe we know that if you aggregate proactively then you may also recontextualize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be end-to-end? It may seem confusing, but it's 100 percent completely 100 percent accurate! What does the standard industry standard industry term "cyber-returns-on-investment" really mean? Think turn-key, cross-media. Think vertical. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and SMIL. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? The six-sigma web-enabled obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without preplanned web services, user interfaces are forced to become C2C2C. What does it really mean to synthesize "intra-compellingly"? We here at ABC think we know that it is better to enable virally than to transform intuitively. Think frictionless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, intuitive, customized. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to envisioneer micro-transparently. We constantly envisioneer e-business process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. We will revalue our ability to extend without devaluing our power to recontextualize. Think intra-world-class. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 infomediaries and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The ability to morph ultra-extensibly leads to the ability to grow seamlessly. If you reintermediate strategically, you may have to transform vertically. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The implementation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of compliance. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We will deliver the capacity of social networks to generate. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SVG. If you enhance cyber-strategically, you may have to incentivize nano-magnetically. We usually facilitate 60/24/7/365 open-source, web-enabled convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without ROI metrics, you will lack development. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We have come to know that if you visualize perfectly then you may also productize holistically. The metrics for ultra-open-source global, co-branded process management are more well-understood if they are not viral.