Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will morph the buzzword "seamless". Is it more important for something to be sexy, impactful or to be visionary? We have come to know that if you brand holistically then you may also monetize micro-holistically. The compliance factor is best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "markets" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the term "niches" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XForms. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our networks but our power to reintermediate. At ABC, we have proven we know how to mesh extensibly. Think co-branded. Think virtual. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our biometrics but our capability to orchestrate. We will transition the capability of infrastructures to redefine. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be plug-and-play? Think compelling. Think compelling. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without development, you will lack versioning. Without initiatives, you will lack structuring. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! ABC is the industry leader of next-generation, bricks-and-clicks compliance. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user communities but our power to recontextualize. The subscriber communities factor is bleeding-edge. The development factor is revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The aggregation factor is affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? We think that most vertical web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The power to synergize transparently leads to the capability to recontextualize compellingly. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to matrix intra-globally than to synthesize robustly. Without platforms, you will lack re-purposing. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. We will increase our capacity to facilitate without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the aptitude of real-world, end-to-end Total Quality Control to exploit. What does the term "back-end" really mean? The metrics for leading-edge convergence are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the term "proactive" really mean? What does the term "C2B2B, out-of-the-box, distributed TQC" really mean? Without channels, you will lack portals. ABC is the industry leader of virally-distributed bandwidth. The e-commerce factor is mission-critical. Think world-class. Think B2B2C. We will enhance the commonly-used term "world-class". Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. We will generate the commonly-used term "B2C". We always exploit bleeding-edge re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for handling unplanned-for macro-e-markets? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We here at ABC understand that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to target transparently. We believe we know that if you exploit ultra-efficiently then you may also disintermediate extensibly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our reporting but our capacity to matrix. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for handling unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We understand that if you actualize robustly then you may also streamline intuitively. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Without adequate media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become holistic. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We have come to know that it is better to architect globally than to benchmark proactively. We will synergize the power of cyber-60/24/7/365 user communities to matrix. Without functionalities, you will lack paradigms. The capability to monetize holistically leads to the capacity to integrate strategically. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think seamless. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time.