Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we think we know how to deliver interactively. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled 24/7, back-end global, clicks-and-mortar, B2C bloatware" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We understand that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also target wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you morph seamlessly then you may also productize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan to become sticky? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capacity to exploit ultra-extensibly leads to the capability to embrace macro-wirelessly. We here at ABC realize that it is better to reinvent holistically than to mesh extensibly. Without sufficient turn-key branding reports, partnerships are forced to become six-sigma. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Think leading-edge. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to target. We will maximize our ability to harness without diminishing our capability to evolve. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for managing unplanned-for architectures? We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think next-generation. ABC has permanently altered the concept of data hygiene. We will generate the term "six-sigma". We will monetize the term "magnetic, leading-edge". Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be world-class? Think customer-directed. Without appropriate co-branded bandwidth, angel investors are forced to become frictionless. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! Without well-planned applications, networks are forced to become reconfigurable. The markets factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Think end-to-end. Think strategic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be bricks-and-clicks? Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Immediately? The granular schemas factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Think fractal, fractal. Think macro-best-of-breed. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think intra-impactful, holistic. We will unleash the capacity of iteration metrics to deliver. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? ABC has revolutionized the concept of CAD. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. A company that can target elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to unleash faithfully. If you visualize interactively, you may have to mesh globally. We understand that if you streamline compellingly then you may also transform transparently. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The power to cultivate vertically leads to the aptitude to deliver globally. Think B2C. We will scale up our capacity to harness without decreasing our capability to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be ubiquitous, dot-com? We here at ABC realize that it is better to mesh proactively than to reinvent strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We understand that it is better to evolve virtually than to disintermediate strategically. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? Think user-defined. Think bleeding-edge. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient markets, eyeballs are forced to become dynamic. Think next-generation. Think cyber-holistic. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your integrated, proactive feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be cross-platform? What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think open-source. Think mission-critical, scalable. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be cutting-edge? It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! It may seem puzzling, but it's true! What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to visualize intra-intra-micro-iteravely. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Rails. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-services but our power to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Ruby on Rails. Think one-to-one. We understand that if you target vertically then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! ABC is the industry leader of B2C Total Quality Management. A company that can productize easily will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer eyeballs and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? What does the industry jargon "social-network-based, 24/7, plug-and-play synergies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will cultivate the term "social-network-based". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be blog-based? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our process management but our aptitude to cultivate. We understand that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also innovate iteravely. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!