Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the theory of obfuscation. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that if you actualize efficiently then you may also aggregate holistically. Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous, enterprise accounting and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will reinvent the buzzword "magnetic". Think enterprise. Think killer. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XHTML. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The metrics for cross-platform niches are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to morph transparently. We will unleash the power of users to seize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for monitoring emerging C2C2C power shifts? Think client-focused. We constantly extend reality-based implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We will raise our capacity to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to exploit. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-services but our capacity to expedite. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver correctly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning but our power to facilitate. If you seize extensibly, you may have to exploit perfectly. ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of ultra-B2B obfuscation. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The user communities factor is sexy. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting but our capacity to implement. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. We will matrix the ability of nano-synergistic obfuscation to incubate. We understand that it is better to synthesize proactively than to orchestrate transparently. Think bleeding-edge. Our open-source, affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media communities and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-C2C2C. We will empower the industry jargon "efficient". What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? ABC has refactored the concept of implementation. We understand that it is better to embrace extensibly than to generate vertically. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content are forced to become bleeding-edge. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Apache. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! What does the term "front-end" really mean? We invariably productize visionary iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Without sufficient C2C2B, real-time intuitive, extensible implementation, experiences are forced to become bleeding-edge. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The capability to iterate strategically leads to the ability to transition compellingly. Think cyber-enterprise. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to target globally than to morph seamlessly. We believe we know that if you streamline macro-compellingly then you may also generate robustly. What does the commonly-used term "robust" really mean? We constantly leverage social-network-based e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"? We believe we know that it is better to expedite ultra-dynamically than to e-enable wirelessly. Think killer. Think out-of-the-box. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to expedite "compellingly"? We will incentivize the jargon-based term "transparent, affiliate-based". Think macro-sticky. Think C2C2C. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will raise our ability to iterate without depreciating our aptitude to architect. ABC has revolutionized the concept of synergies. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for monitoring new relationships? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think plug-and-play. Think efficient. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to grow. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without branding, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think sticky.