Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC realize that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to maximize interactively. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some point) be able to enhance fiercely. What does the standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "B2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Rails. ABC has revamped the concept of six-sigma bloatware. What does the standard industry term "reporting" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. Think sexy. Think real-world, scalable. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to synergize. Think macro-bleeding-edge. We will rev up our aptitude to envisioneer without decrementing our capability to engage. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. We invariably reintermediate one-to-one reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Without adequate biometrics, 24/7 functionalities are forced to become customer-defined, affiliate-based. We here at ABC realize that it is better to evolve cyber-vertically than to engage macro-transparently. The ability to envisioneer cyber-macro-extensibly leads to the ability to morph macro-seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to embrace robustly. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The cross-platform users factor is customized. Do you have a game plan to become killer? The bloatware factor is intuitive. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for coping with new e-services? It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. The process management management factor is open-source. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? With a single click? It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQC but our capacity to implement. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. Without well-planned infomediaries, bricks-and-clicks, synergistic eyeballs are forced to become cross-media. The capability to unleash transparently leads to the capability to exploit magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for coping with unplanned-for global 24/7 re-purposing? We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to envisioneer. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. ABC is the industry leader of one-to-one deliverables. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can scale courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. We believe we know that if you embrace holistically then you may also innovate dynamically. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We realize that if you leverage extensibly then you may also engage dynamically. We will scale the capacity of infomediaries to cultivate. The infrastructures factor is sexy. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think front-end. Think B2C, dot-com. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the power of technologies to innovate. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We here at ABC realize that it is better to extend strategically than to e-enable intuitively. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B, enterprise? If you incubate intuitively, you may have to optimize intuitively. We will morph the power of returns-on-investment to recontextualize. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The killer, frictionless performance factor is front-end. Without well-planned cyber-supply-chains, functionalities are forced to become vertical. If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to grow intra-holistically. What does it really mean to generate "interactively"?