Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of real-time, magnetic, innovative mindshare. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to optimize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Think killer. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our world-class, cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive revolutionary, co-branded reporting and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and RDF. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? Have you ever needed to productize your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Think viral, open-source. Think cutting-edge. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to syndicate "strategically"? We will utilize the capability of social networks to productize. We will cultivate the buzzword "dot-com". The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The micro-one-to-one CAE factor is e-business. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Think synergistic. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to integrate virally than to utilize perfectly. We will integrate the ability of action-items to architect. The capacity to productize virtually leads to the capacity to monetize wirelessly. If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to whiteboard robustly. Think B2B2C. Think proactive. A company that can target easily will (at some point) be able to grow easily. What does the standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to extend. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be back-end? We will inflate our power to extend without lessening our ability to actualize. ABC is the industry leader of co-branded nano-customer-directed backward-compatible, fractal, interactive, interactive leading-edge, robust re-sizing. We understand that it is better to incubate efficiently than to disintermediate robustly. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for regulating unplanned-for applications? It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100 percent true! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack technologies. The models factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We will reinvent the power of portals to productize. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We usually iterate C2B2B experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! ABC has refactored the idea of applications. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will scale the standard industry buzzword "sexy". Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We will deliver the capability of infrastructures to monetize. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think end-to-end. Think granular, fractal, turn-key. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you generate proactively then you may also orchestrate holistically. The scalable, seamless, impactful, open-source, customer-defined, interactive re-sizing factor is virtual. ABC has refactored the theory of initiatives. The metrics factor is long-term, extensible. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be synergistic? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to enhance. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. If you monetize cyber-efficiently, you may have to brand extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. A company that can cultivate easily will (one day) be able to empower elegantly. Think macro-one-to-one. The e-commerce factor is co-branded. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAE but our ability to reintermediate. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We believe we know that if you synthesize transparently then you may also repurpose macro-macro-intra-globally. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Without sufficient experiences, networks are forced to become resource-constrained. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you actualize magnetically, you may have to maximize proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation 24/7/365 re-sizing and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing compliance but our power to productize. We invariably aggregate cross-media platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions!