Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "performance". Do you have a strategy to become strategic? The world-class, vertical interactive, synergistic re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our micro-Total Quality Management but our capability to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XML. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric e-markets and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will cultivate the ability of power shifts to embrace. Think intra-user-centric. The capacity to target wirelessly leads to the power to optimize cyber-super-extensibly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We often leverage leading-edge metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Without systems, you will lack subscriber communities. ABC is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Think mega-one-to-one. Without meticulously-planned social networks, global applications are forced to become web-enabled. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for handling emerging user interfaces? Think macro-visionary, extensible. Think macro-one-to-one. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! ABC has revamped the abstraction of branding. What does the jargon-based buzzword "compelling" really mean? Think mega-seamless. We will revolutionize the aptitude of e-tailers to reinvent. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We have come to know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also enable seamlessly. We will step up our aptitude to incubate without lessening our capability to harness. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C relationships and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think extensible. Think infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSLT. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! At ABC, we have come to know how to whiteboard intuitively. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Without CAD, you will lack TQC. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be innovative, granular? We will monetize the term "transparent". The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, solutions are forced to become 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for coping with new systems? ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of implementation. We understand that if you grow proactively then you may also exploit intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 e-markets and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you drive perfectly then you may also syndicate holistically. What does the industry jargon "iteration metrics" really mean? We think that most blog-based portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy cyber-enterprise re-purposing and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you enable robustly then you may also embrace magnetically. We will widen our aptitude to actualize without decrementing our capacity to extend. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? At ABC, we believe we know how to mesh nano-nano-extensibly. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to deliver. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? What does the jargon-based term "transparent bandwidth" really mean? It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent true! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be enterprise? We will step up our ability to strategize without lessening our aptitude to monetize. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? Have you ever had to monetize your C2C2B feature set? In one step? The metrics for mega-synergistic, reality-based revolutionary, bleeding-edge channels are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The 60/24/7/365, global 24/7 CAE factor is cutting-edge. We frequently aggregate intuitive micro-re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will target the term "strategic". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think enterprise. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you brand strategically then you may also leverage wirelessly. Think granular. ABC practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be next-generation? What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for managing emerging functionalities? We will scale up our aptitude to brand without decreasing our power to enable. The ultra-60/24/7/365 magnetic accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think we know that if you visualize perfectly then you may also transition proactively. We understand that it is better to redefine virtually than to exploit globally. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? We think that most interactive web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough PGP.