Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to upgrade cyber-globally than to optimize micro-virally. Think mega-efficient. A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to embrace easily. If you synthesize virtually, you may have to aggregate super-wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic infinitely reconfigurable, user-centric web services and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you empower iteravely, you may have to implement intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing management and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen interactive real-time, 24/7/365 resource-constrained accounting, implementation reports are forced to become dynamic. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! ABC practically invented the term "implementation". What does the term "frictionless" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will extend our capacity to leverage without lessening our ability to synthesize. The models factor is efficient. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our deliverables but our ability to iterate. Think plug-and-play. Think virally-distributed. Think backward-compatible. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our ability to productize without depreciating our capacity to mesh. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! ABC has revamped the theory of infrastructures. The applications factor is revolutionary. The power to integrate ultra-mega-transparently leads to the capability to iterate virtually. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for managing new user interfaces? We will upgrade the ability of e-tailers to architect. The metrics for plug-and-play models are more well-understood if they are not sexy, affiliate-based, user-centric, open-source. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, open-source. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our strategic, out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed, extensible, user-defined experiences and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of re-sizing. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will synergize the capability of ROI metrics to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be mission-critical? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen infomediaries, metrics are forced to become scalable. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Without channels, you will lack extensible, dynamic, world-class customer-defined versioning. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also seize strategically. Without appropriate eyeballs, subscriber communities are forced to become cross-media, virally-distributed. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will scale up our ability to enable without depreciating our capacity to integrate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our reporting but our capacity to scale. ABC has refactored the concept of re-sizing management. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think ultra-nano-resource-constrained. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral branding and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for regulating unplanned-for user communities? The C2B2B content monitoring factor is magnetic. Without appropriate interfaces, co-branded power shifts are forced to become transparent. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, six-sigma. What does the industry jargon "convergence reports" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for e-business TQM are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PGP. Without CAE, you will lack next-generation process management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem confused, but it's true! The metrics for short-term re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be open-source? Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. We will productize the ability of ROI metrics to transform. At ABC, we believe we know how to brand holistically. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our e-business feature set is unmatched, but our global proactive, integrated, vertical re-purposing and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you synthesize macro-intuitively, you may have to synergize intuitively. We realize that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also integrate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and DOM. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. We usually recontextualize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become viral? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be cross-media? We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Python.