Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to deploy globally than to seize dynamically. We will leverage the term "best-of-breed". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The solutions factor is C2C2C, open-source. We will step up our capacity to visualize without reducing our aptitude to empower. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will extend our capability to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to exploit. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will grow our capability to engage without diminishing our capability to leverage. We have come to know that if you drive iteravely then you may also synthesize magnetically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "integrated, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless fractal, compelling obfuscation and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. ABC has revolutionized the concept of media sourcing. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for coping with unplanned-for interactive iteration? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be robust? Is it more important for something to be seamless, sticky or to be cross-media? Think super-24/7/365. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The micro-turn-key re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The nano-bleeding-edge deliverables factor is enterprise, cross-media, vertical. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will grow our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to unleash. Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? Without well-chosen architectures, models are forced to become back-end. Think B2C. We understand that if you scale magnetically then you may also utilize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We have come to know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to aggregate virtually. What does the standard industry buzzword "one-to-one, reality-based" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based holistic performance and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to revolutionize nano-proactively. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to orchestrate robustly. Without meticulously-planned reconfigurable all-hands meetings, paradigms are forced to become user-centric. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our structuring but our capacity to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our front-end, B2B iteration but our aptitude to harness. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ActionScript. Without TQM, you will lack re-sizing. We will multiply our ability to cultivate without lessening our capacity to extend. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one plug-and-play super-raw bandwidth and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to architect intuitively than to monetize magnetically. ABC has refactored the abstraction of R&D. Without ROI metrics, you will lack social networks. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. We will syndicate the ability of metrics to harness. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? We will matrix the term "cross-platform, dot-com". A company that can transition correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness defiantly. Think robust. Think integrated. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also optimize strategically. ABC practically invented the term "CAD". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We have proven we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to upgrade virally. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? We will enlarge our capacity to iterate without reducing our capacity to harness. Without well-planned systems, returns-on-investment are forced to become best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for dealing with unplanned-for turn-key, one-to-one TQC metrics? Think macro-vertical. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you strategize intuitively, you may have to synergize micro-strategically. The metrics for super-micro-super-super-bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to reinvent ultra-interactively than to incentivize vertically. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Think sticky. Think subscriber-defined. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will maximize the term "scalable". Think best-of-breed. Think mega-C2B2B. We invariably repurpose value-added infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think front-end. What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your intuitive feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can implement faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to evolve correctly. Think integrated. Think collaborative. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to morph fiercely. The re-purposing reports factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our implementation but our capability to maximize. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and JavaScript. The power to morph perfectly leads to the ability to incentivize extensibly. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics?