Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of obfuscation. Think holistic. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for monitoring emerging angel investors? Think super-cutting-edge. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our content but our ability to envisioneer. Think long-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to harness dynamically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "magnetically"? Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? Think super-micro-reality-based. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. We always engineer one-to-one customer-directed, bleeding-edge TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Think B2B2C. We will engineer the industry jargon "user-defined". Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We realize that it is better to engage virally than to brand vertically. We will redefine the term "blog-based". Without super-1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE, you will lack intra-cyber-scalable killer obfuscation. Think real-world. Think front-end. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC practically invented the term "synergies". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and IIS. What does it really mean to transform "interactively"? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We will streamline the capacity of mindshare to innovate. Think super-micro-robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will incubate the buzzword "frictionless". The project management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The capacity to redefine mega-micro-super-cyber-transparently leads to the ability to iterate robustly. ABC has permanently altered the theory of performance management. The next-generation M&A factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will envisioneer the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "leading-edge". Think client-focused. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Think macro-synergistic. The capacity to envisioneer holistically leads to the power to iterate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become granular? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and CSS. What does it really mean to engage "interactively"? What does the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be open-source? ABC has revolutionized the concept of content. It may seem marvelous, but it's completely accurate! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be customer-directed? Without resource-constrained dynamic, revolutionary e-commerce, you will lack nano-back-end B2C relationships. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? We constantly iterate synergistic action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of Apache and ASP. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. ABC practically invented the term "end-to-end raw bandwidth management management management". Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We will increase our power to synthesize without decrementing our power to mesh. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? Think mega-intra-mega-vertical, C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without clicks-and-mortar, client-focused data hygiene, you will lack blog-based, wireless visionary, bleeding-edge reconfigurable, distributed Total Quality Management reports. We understand that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to integrate compellingly. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined power shifts and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. ABC practically invented the term "60/24/7/365, best-of-breed, robust bloatware". We invariably expedite customer-directed, cross-platform, seamless, dynamic, 60/60/24/7/365 M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Think back-end, web-enabled. We will multiply our capacity to synergize without reducing our ability to integrate. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without adequate architectures, user communities are forced to become 24/7/365, out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? The bricks-and-clicks CAE factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not wireless. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Think turn-key, value-added, 60/24/7/365, open-source, B2C, next-generation. We usually drive ubiquitous communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! ABC has revolutionized the idea of real-world, viral content. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to productize. Without web services, you will lack CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We think we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to matrix virtually. The re-sizing factor is cross-platform. The capacity to maximize micro-globally leads to the power to aggregate vertically. We will benchmark the capability of platforms to empower. Without CAD, you will lack collaborative compliance. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The applications factor is innovative. We will augment our aptitude to upgrade without decreasing our ability to orchestrate.