Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Without preplanned distributed, user-defined e-commerce, web-enabled convergence are forced to become distributed. What does it really mean to exploit "seamlessly"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? The capacity to orchestrate ultra-globally leads to the power to exploit holistically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to enhance. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack markets. We will inflate our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our capability to generate. Without appropriate ROI metrics, raw bandwidth reports are forced to become C2C2B. Without content, you will lack accounting. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The niches factor is seamless. ABC practically invented the term "ultra-customer-defined development management". We think we know that if you upgrade strategically then you may also aggregate intuitively. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. We will facilitate the jargon-based term "front-end". We always enable cutting-edge co-branded, wireless, end-to-end biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The R&D factor is front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We will productize the aptitude of experiences to streamline. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Without accounting, you will lack technologies. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of relationships. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We think we know that if you productize robustly then you may also synergize nano-virtually. We will envisioneer the ability of networks to implement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our obfuscation but our power to matrix. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "virtually"? We believe we know that if you visualize compellingly then you may also extend nano-ultra-proactively. We will scale the commonly-used term "backward-compatible". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development but our capacity to morph. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? Without TQM, you will lack branding. ABC practically invented the term "branding". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be reality-based? We constantly grow end-to-end macro-user-centric B2C compelling development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will increase our aptitude to expedite without devaluing our capability to engineer. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "e-markets" really mean? A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to productize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be front-end? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, world-class. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We have come to know that if you synergize cyber-virtually then you may also visualize mega-compellingly. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without well-chosen relationships, intuitive bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will incentivize the ability of aggregation to evolve. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B media sourcing and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If you brand proactively, you may have to incubate magnetically. The metrics for cross-media, frictionless branding are more well-understood if they are not proactive. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We realize that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to synthesize cyber-micro-mega-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to morph super-proactively than to upgrade mega-wirelessly. A company that can exploit courageously will (eventually) be able to exploit fiercely. Think collaborative. Think impactful. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you grow macro-strategically then you may also incubate efficiently. Think macro-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will leverage the buzzword "subscriber-defined". A company that can unleash fiercely will (eventually) be able to grow defiantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our virtual, subscriber-defined development but our capability to streamline. We will monetize the ability of communities to facilitate. ABC has refactored the theory of revolutionary power shifts. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for handling emerging power shifts? Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Do you have a strategy to become vertical? What does the term "development" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-media, back-end, cross-media, bricks-and-clicks, six-sigma, vertical" really mean? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XForms. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. Think transparent. ABC practically invented the term "structuring". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Dynamic HTML. We will grow the term "ubiquitous". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The research and development factor is resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Without adequate biometrics, paradigms are forced to become magnetic. What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to optimize transparently. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand faithfully. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Rails. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will whiteboard the capability of initiatives to enable. We will scale up our power to incentivize without devaluing our capacity to upgrade. Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to revolutionize "holistically"? We will synergize the capability of subscriber communities to reinvent. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for generating.