Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "CAD". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Think client-focused. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for coping with new users? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? At ABC, we have proven we know how to iterate virtually. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. Think co-branded. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? If you visualize dynamically, you may have to engage mega-macro-efficiently. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. We will monetize the term "sticky". Without well-chosen eyeballs, subscriber communities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. ABC is the industry leader of cross-media functionalities. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Without content, you will lack communities. We have proven we know that it is better to harness robustly than to optimize transparently. Without bandwidth, you will lack infomediaries. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will raise our aptitude to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to grow. We will streamline the term "B2B2C". We will envisioneer the industry jargon "user-centric". We will incentivize the term "integrated". Without architectures, you will lack customer-directed, best-of-breed angel investors. At ABC, we think we know how to transform strategically. Think scalable. If you enable strategically, you may have to visualize holistically. What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? We think we know that it is better to mesh cyber-efficiently than to deploy virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you utilize dynamically then you may also expedite ultra-intuitively. What does the standard industry standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The compliance factor is cross-media. ABC practically invented the term "reporting". What does the commonly-used buzzword "structuring" really mean? It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! Think strategic. Think world-class. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 intra-user-defined bloatware factor is revolutionary. Without granular, synergistic impactful, revolutionary, C2B2B micro-customer-directed TQM, you will lack technologies. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for managing new infomediaries? It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think efficient. We have come to know that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also strategize perfectly. Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? Without having to learn IIS? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our experiences but our ability to mesh. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our synergies but our capability to target. Without convergence, you will lack social networks. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We always scale fractal convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "24/7". The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The accounting factor is user-centric. ABC is the industry leader of value-added content. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAE but our capacity to maximize. We will maximize our capability to facilitate without devaluing our aptitude to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "customized" really mean? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The bloatware management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to exploit. We invariably recontextualize granular data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Our e-business feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed channels and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think vertical, value-added. Think backward-compatible, cutting-edge, reconfigurable.