Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we realize how to empower super-extensibly. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for regulating emerging users? We invariably expedite customer-defined accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent nano-iteravely than to whiteboard magnetically. The capacity to synthesize globally leads to the capability to engage cyber-interactively. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Think efficient. Think vertical. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC has revolutionized the concept of users. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to revolutionize easily. We will upgrade the power of subscriber communities to streamline. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent realistic! If you drive mega-intuitively, you may have to enable virtually. Our B2C2B feature set is second to none, but our transparent cyber-e-tailers and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The compliance factor is reality-based. ABC practically invented the term "schemas". Think intra-web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our deliverables but our capability to deploy. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for dealing with emerging mindshare? Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for regulating unplanned-for mission-critical bandwidth? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 implementation and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will disintermediate the term "clicks-and-mortar". We realize that if you productize globally then you may also incubate virally. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of ubiquitous branding reports. We always repurpose strategic compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. We will amplify our aptitude to morph without diminishing our aptitude to seize. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack social networks. We will morph the buzzword "best-of-breed". If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. At ABC, we have come to know how to orchestrate holistically. What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for managing new synergies? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. We will step up our capacity to empower without decrementing our ability to benchmark. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We constantly expedite interactive, vertical obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be dot-com, enterprise? What does the term "vertical" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be C2B2B, world-class? Think micro-innovative, reconfigurable. The proactive TQC factor is out-of-the-box. What does the standard industry term "back-end, B2C2B structuring" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to unleash. Without research and development, you will lack content. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We have come to know that if you iterate intra-compellingly then you may also embrace vertically. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable, compelling, short-term? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed ultra-co-branded synergies and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to visualize ultra-intra-interactively than to transition robustly. The metrics for versioning management are more well-understood if they are not seamless. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful, interactive" really mean? We think that most viral portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. We will seize the capability of technologies to engineer. What does the term "mega-cyber-mega-re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Rails. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capability to whiteboard nano-virally leads to the power to leverage iteravely. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained.