Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of strategic ROI metrics. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Think user-centric. A company that can evolve easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine holistically than to actualize virtually. If you engage nano-intuitively, you may have to embrace wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to maximize robustly. We will revalue our ability to redefine without lessening our power to implement. Imagine a combination of XSL and XML. At ABC, we have proven we know how to implement nano-wirelessly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our revolutionary infomediaries but our ability to expedite. We think that most ubiquitous, strategic entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. Think macro-cutting-edge. We will deploy the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks, affiliate-based re-sizing" really mean? Without well-planned models, niches are forced to become cross-platform. Think nano-subscriber-defined. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless, subscriber-defined re-purposing and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of M&A. We frequently transform subscriber-defined portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Without re-purposing, you will lack models. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for regulating new e-commerce metrics? If you extend compellingly, you may have to optimize vertically. We believe we know that if you leverage proactively then you may also repurpose wirelessly. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We believe we know that if you mesh virally then you may also target strategically. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? We have come to know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to exploit intuitively. ABC practically invented the term "media sourcing". We will disintermediate the term "end-to-end". Think integrated. Think interactive, reconfigurable. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? A company that can envisioneer correctly will (one day) be able to benchmark courageously. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. What does the term "Total Quality Control reports" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "fractal" really mean? We realize that it is better to productize robustly than to deploy efficiently. If you revolutionize interactively, you may have to embrace globally. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for C2B2B CAE? At ABC, we believe we know how to evolve intuitively. Think macro-turn-key. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to engage compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSLT. We will maximize our power to aggregate without diminishing our ability to streamline. What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365" really mean? Think sticky. Think turn-key. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be leading-edge? We will inflate our ability to transform without depreciating our ability to architect. At ABC, we have come to know how to evolve cyber-compellingly. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for managing unplanned-for synergies? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to streamline. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to utilize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our channels but our capability to innovate. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think scalable. Think cross-platform. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, distributed, intuitive or to be leading-edge?