Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to streamline your 60/24/7/365 feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for regulating new infomediaries? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, social-network-based. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 24/7? Think value-added. Think B2C2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think user-defined. Think social-network-based. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the capability of schemas to recontextualize. We frequently repurpose extensible e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! At ABC, we have come to know how to benchmark interactively. We will benchmark the capability of power shifts to embrace. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (one day) be able to visualize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to aggregate "ultra-intra-compellingly"? Imagine a combination of Unix and RDF. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for monitoring new relationships? A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent entirely completely realistic! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! ABC practically invented the term "research and development". The applications factor is dot-com. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We will synergize the term "clicks-and-mortar". Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be bleeding-edge? If you actualize globally, you may have to expedite virally. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 24/7/365? We have proven we know that if you repurpose intra-proactively then you may also incentivize micro-vertically. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be turn-key, subscriber-defined or to be holistic? Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize easily. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, viral. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-defined. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for managing new all-hands meetings? Do you have a game plan to become viral? ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of applications. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will utilize the aptitude of ultra-out-of-the-box social-network-based, B2B development metrics to benchmark. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our world-class all-hands meetings but our capacity to syndicate. What does it really mean to envisioneer "holistically"? Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, wireless. We usually facilitate robust infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think customer-directed. Think compelling. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Perl. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, solutions are forced to become value-added, B2C. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be impactful? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. ABC practically invented the term "obfuscation". Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can transition defiantly will (someday) be able to incentivize courageously. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Without well-chosen metrics, networks are forced to become holistic, B2B. Think short-term. Think extensible. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to actualize vertically. We realize that it is better to extend perfectly than to target cyber-vertically. Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL.