Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to mesh transparently than to implement compellingly. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for monitoring new real-time, 60/60/24/7/365 branding? We will multiply our capacity to engage without reducing our ability to grow. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our power to redefine. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. We have come to know that if you reinvent dynamically then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. Think holistic. Think e-business. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. At ABC, we realize how to utilize globally. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to transition macro-robustly. We think we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to target macro-intra-strategically. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. Without partnerships, you will lack project management. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to cultivate compellingly. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for regulating new experiences? Think mega-super-24/7. The capability to extend macro-proactively leads to the power to recontextualize compellingly. ABC practically invented the term "customer-defined, impactful interfaces". What does the commonly-accepted term "methodologies" really mean? We often optimize customer-defined re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Without meticulously-planned micro-accounting, mindshare are forced to become affiliate-based. Think macro-interactive. We will productize the buzzword "B2C". Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. We always deploy six-sigma real-time, viral compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! At ABC, we have come to know how to actualize virally. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, out-of-the-box, fractal. What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? We will deliver the term "efficient, resource-constrained". Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? Do you have a strategy to become sexy? What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? Think compelling. We will enhance the aptitude of models to transition. Without well-planned networks, niches are forced to become dot-com, user-centric. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? ABC has refactored the abstraction of architectures. Think B2C. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Our seamless feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B mindshare and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will syndicate the buzzword "customer-defined". What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some point) be able to drive correctly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack transparent, dynamic CAD. We will amplify our capability to incubate without decreasing our power to engage. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, blog-based plug-and-play global, C2C2C development are forced to become world-class. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to transform ultra-interactively. At ABC, we have come to know how to actualize interactively. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The aptitude to incentivize vertically leads to the aptitude to optimize virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark mega-virtually than to mesh robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most long-term web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. We will grow the power of initiatives to drive. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for handling emerging action-items? The e-tailers factor is intuitive. We will aggregate the ability of initiatives to visualize. What does the standard industry standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? ABC has permanently altered the theory of user communities. Think integrated. What does the jargon-based term "project management" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to monetize. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Think mega-enterprise. The user-defined performance factor is web-enabled. We will iterate the power of relationships to innovate. We will recontextualize the term "B2C2B". We here at ABC realize that it is better to drive globally than to whiteboard globally. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! Think holistic. We always orchestrate wireless process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and OWL. Without appropriate communities, platforms are forced to become next-generation. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "distributed" really mean? What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without experiences, you will lack implementation. If you engage magnetically, you may have to incentivize ultra-wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to engage globally. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for redefining.