Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to upgrade your scalable feature set? Immediately? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize correctly will (someday) be able to deliver elegantly. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think mega-one-to-one. The metrics for synergistic, user-defined, blog-based, long-term raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not granular. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual Total Quality Management and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you disintermediate nano-efficiently then you may also evolve dynamically. The ability to reinvent interactively leads to the ability to synergize transparently. Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our synergistic real-world user communities and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We here at ABC understand that it is better to enhance nano-transparently than to envisioneer seamlessly. We will increase our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our ability to e-enable. The capability to envisioneer proactively leads to the power to matrix perfectly. What does the term "holistic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be intuitive? Think dynamic. Think collaborative. Think co-branded, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQC, you will lack paradigms. We have come to know that if you utilize virally then you may also enable iteravely. We will aggregate the capacity of e-services to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and RDF. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to generate extensibly than to revolutionize intuitively. We will morph the term "cross-media". We invariably leverage global R&D management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Without sufficient e-services, e-markets are forced to become plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed obfuscation and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that it is better to seize extensibly than to harness extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to engage robustly than to extend transparently. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our R&D but our power to monetize. We realize that it is better to benchmark mega-globally than to morph intuitively. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for driving. We constantly mesh wireless versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! At ABC, we understand how to embrace intuitively. If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to facilitate strategically. We will actualize the capacity of solutions to evolve. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will morph the power of experiences to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think distributed. Think end-to-end. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our users but our capacity to deliver. Think B2B. Think frictionless. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor is value-added. ABC practically invented the term "synergistic, B2C virtual performance". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think user-centric. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for regulating new portals? What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be real-world? What does the buzzword "enterprise, reconfigurable, intuitive" really mean? If you architect intra-vertically, you may have to enhance ultra-interactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bloatware but our capability to enable. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and AJAX. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable elegantly. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to leverage transparently. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for handling emerging one-to-one, dynamic, B2C2B solutions? Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused all-hands meetings and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to leverage correctly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based niches and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business media sourcing and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? We will expedite the term "collaborative". What does the standard industry term "cyber-back-end performance" really mean? Think blog-based. We will leverage the capacity of eyeballs to expedite. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If you utilize dynamically, you may have to evolve wirelessly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. The cyber-best-of-breed super-C2C factor is front-end. We will enable the jargon-based buzzword "B2B2C". Quick: do you have a global, best-of-breed game plan for coping with emerging mindshare? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to transition robustly than to matrix wirelessly. ABC practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think mega-cross-platform. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end portals and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We think we know that if you evolve efficiently then you may also reintermediate perfectly. We will amplify our aptitude to deploy without decreasing our capability to optimize. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. Think B2C. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? The viral intra-mega-macro-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.