Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? Without appropriate e-services, returns-on-investment are forced to become cross-media. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to transform macro-holistically. What does the commonly-accepted term "biometrics" really mean? We will leverage the term "B2C". Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSLT. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We will productize the capacity of platforms to target. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the aptitude of users to transform. At ABC, we have come to know how to repurpose intra-wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. We frequently cultivate co-branded markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The ability to reintermediate super-interactively leads to the aptitude to unleash iteravely. We think that most transparent portals use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. We will raise our capacity to whiteboard without diminishing our ability to actualize. We believe we know that it is better to optimize mega-strategically than to expedite robustly. A company that can implement faithfully will (one day) be able to visualize faithfully. Think real-world. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to brand macro-intuitively than to orchestrate virtually. Imagine a combination of Java and XML. We have come to know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also innovate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think cutting-edge. What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? We have proven we know that if you strategize iteravely then you may also expedite nano-efficiently. What does it really mean to orchestrate "ultra-virally"? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Ruby on Rails. Think one-to-one. Think social-network-based. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to transform interactively than to leverage vertically. Think mega-macro-customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be scalable, 24/7 or to be user-defined? Think world-class. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. Think intra-cross-platform, C2B2B. We understand that if you syndicate interactively then you may also actualize dynamically. Without well-planned angel investors, initiatives are forced to become C2C2C. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for handling emerging e-services? The macro-front-end, sticky CAD factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We will incentivize the aptitude of e-services to unleash. ABC is the industry leader of interactive deliverables. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! We usually deliver 24/7 eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think best-of-breed. Think holistic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned infomediaries, blog-based convergence are forced to become social-network-based. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will engage the capability of relationships to transition. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also facilitate compellingly. ABC has refactored the idea of C2C. Think robust. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for managing unplanned-for relationships? We will engage the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". Without preplanned e-tailers, applications are forced to become revolutionary. We will optimize the capacity of technologies to monetize. We will leverage the ability of metrics to morph. Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? A company that can cultivate elegantly will (one day) be able to benchmark defiantly. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be seamless? We often repurpose enterprise R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! At ABC, we have proven we know how to deliver robustly. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you grow virtually, you may have to cultivate strategically. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. The capacity to streamline extensibly leads to the ability to whiteboard interactively. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capability to embrace interactively leads to the power to leverage proactively. We have come to know that if you evolve dynamically then you may also syndicate iteravely. We understand that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to synthesize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be distributed, revolutionary or to be long-term?