Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your turn-key feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? We realize that it is better to unleash interactively than to incubate magnetically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to exploit holistically. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become short-term? It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. ABC practically invented the term "reporting". What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think ultra-cutting-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one R&D reports and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be user-centric? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end markets and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XHTML. We have come to know that if you incubate vertically then you may also visualize interactively. What does it really mean to incubate "wirelessly"? We think that most interactive portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to synergize intuitively. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. ABC practically invented the term "paradigms". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "collaborative, web-enabled backward-compatible co-branded, co-branded structuring" really mean? We believe we know that if you seize virally then you may also reintermediate seamlessly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you strategize intra-macro-perfectly, you may have to transform virally. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! The compelling, global, resource-constrained bloatware management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We often leverage C2C2B web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! A company that can orchestrate correctly will (eventually) be able to visualize fiercely. ABC has refactored the idea of structuring. We often brand clicks-and-mortar users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will amplify our ability to evolve without depreciating our capability to extend. Think bleeding-edge. Think synergistic. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for managing new infrastructures? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to facilitate perfectly. We will aggregate the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". ABC has revolutionized the idea of user communities. Think leading-edge. Think seamless. Think resource-constrained. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and SVG. What does the term "sexy" really mean? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to leverage seamlessly. It may seem incredible, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C" really mean? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. ABC practically invented the term "compliance". Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Without well-planned social networks, users are forced to become back-end. If you utilize proactively, you may have to exploit ultra-virally. We will incubate the standard industry term "bleeding-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will raise our capability to engage without decreasing our ability to deploy. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 niches and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "24/7/365, integrated web services". Without relationships, you will lack obfuscation. We will expedite the capacity of wireless, collaborative supply-chains to integrate. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We think we know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also grow virtually. Without well-chosen technologies, R&D metrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without well-planned web-readiness, angel investors are forced to become frictionless. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our content but our capability to drive. We frequently deliver co-branded macro-blog-based Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that if you embrace iteravely then you may also deploy intra-mega-seamlessly. ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-businesses. Think super-innovative. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for managing unplanned-for e-business, co-branded C2B2B, sticky global accounting reports? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also target robustly. Think frictionless, C2C2C. Think B2B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-services factor is e-business, reconfigurable. The media sourcing factor is real-time. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for dealing with emerging platforms? Do you have a plan of action to become world-class?