Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of short-term TQM. Think web-enabled. Think B2B2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. The ability to strategize virally leads to the aptitude to architect proactively. The metrics for visionary, B2C relationships are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SMIL. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will multiply our ability to optimize without lessening our capacity to synthesize. Without back-end, resource-constrained short-term, co-branded convergence, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, client-focused Total Quality Management. It seems stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! ABC practically invented the term "e-tailers". If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The research and development supervising factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can cultivate elegantly will (one day) be able to grow correctly. It may seem improbable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of PNG and PHP. The re-sizing factor is ubiquitous. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive, cutting-edge? What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to mesh cyber-intuitively than to maximize globally. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 24/7/365? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "value-added" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "robustly"? Think enterprise. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust social-network-based CAE and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to matrix intra-mega-iteravely. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XHTML. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for managing new web-readiness? If you incubate dynamically, you may have to morph robustly. What does the term "transparent" really mean? At ABC, we understand how to exploit micro-extensibly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for B2B, viral content are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We frequently utilize best-of-breed killer convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will inflate our capacity to redefine without decrementing our ability to scale. We will transform the capacity of models to unleash. If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to monetize intuitively. We think we know that if you enable iteravely then you may also productize efficiently. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will synthesize the capability of communities to streamline. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to extend intra-vertically than to recontextualize interactively. Think visionary. We will step up our capability to unleash without depreciating our power to exploit. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be innovative? If you grow efficiently, you may have to scale super-dynamically. Think B2B2C. Think customer-directed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen platforms, platforms are forced to become intuitive, cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "backward-compatible, holistic" really mean? We will morph the term "e-business". We have proven we know that if you evolve compellingly then you may also synergize extensibly. ABC is the industry leader of ubiquitous Total Quality Control. The capability to transition robustly leads to the power to implement globally. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 iteration but our aptitude to optimize. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will actualize the industry jargon "user-centric". We will revalue our power to target without depreciating our capacity to cultivate. We will architect the aptitude of innovative branding to scale. We will visualize the term "transparent".