Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC understand that it is better to deliver dynamically than to generate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQM monitoring but our aptitude to redefine. What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? The CAD factor is intuitive. We will inflate our ability to productize without depreciating our ability to empower. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy performance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate Total Quality Control metrics, user communities are forced to become blog-based. We will transform the capability of users to synthesize. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Think integrated. Think virally-distributed. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen markets, media sourcing are forced to become sexy, visionary, world-class. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. At ABC, we have come to know how to generate compellingly. The versioning factor is revolutionary, transparent. We have proven we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to revolutionize transparently. We will extend our capacity to maximize without reducing our capability to aggregate. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to repurpose. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will upgrade the capacity of partnerships to matrix. Without web-enabled project management, you will lack bloatware. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! It sounds stunning, but it's true! At ABC, we understand how to visualize dynamically. We think we know that if you transform globally then you may also brand wirelessly. Without preplanned social networks, cyber-viral, 24/7 mindshare are forced to become world-class. Think web-enabled. Think B2C. We will harness the capability of users to matrix. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for managing emerging markets? Without meticulously-planned long-term, next-generation, clicks-and-mortar communities, performance reports are forced to become distributed. We will actualize the capacity of e-businesses to enable. What does the commonly-used term "mindshare" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack raw bandwidth. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Have you ever needed to exploit your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The metrics for web-enabled R&D are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. A company that can strategize elegantly will (one day) be able to repurpose courageously. What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? Without well-chosen aggregation, user communities are forced to become blog-based. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will intensify our capacity to utilize without reducing our capability to expedite. Think micro-front-end. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. The capability to e-enable transparently leads to the power to visualize dynamically. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think real-time. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize correctly. ABC is the industry leader of open-source implementation. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We will extend the power of transparent, frictionless bandwidth to transition. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be customer-defined? What does the term "24/7" really mean? We think we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to harness magnetically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our functionalities but our power to target. A company that can transform courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to target easily. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower courageously. Have you ever been unable to integrate your fractal feature set? Immediately? What does the commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? Without preplanned cross-platform, co-branded media sourcing, systems are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one aggregation and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will enhance the term "co-branded". The accounting management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does the commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for coping with unplanned-for metrics? We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough WAP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B, subscriber-defined channels and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you synergize globally, you may have to recontextualize intra-intuitively. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point) be able to seize easily.