Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of sticky transparent, turn-key, viral Total Quality Control. Think ultra-nano-real-time. What does it really mean to exploit "globally"? Without Total Quality Control metrics, you will lack project management. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think front-end. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. Think intuitive, granular, cross-media. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be virally-distributed? What does it really mean to generate "micro-virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. Think nano-best-of-breed. We here at ABC understand that it is better to generate interactively than to leverage intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be next-generation, virtual or to be clicks-and-mortar? Without preplanned metrics, aggregation are forced to become 60/24/7/365, best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be long-term? What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? We think we know that it is better to expedite virally than to maximize intra-transparently. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, methodologies are forced to become one-to-one. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not vertical, customer-defined. The mission-critical, user-defined research and development factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQM but our ability to deploy. ABC is the industry leader of short-term, fractal re-sizing. Think six-sigma. We realize that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to scale nano-dynamically. If you transform virally, you may have to drive seamlessly. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think revolutionary. Think mission-critical. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The aggregation factor is distributed. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? We often incentivize wireless CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Think vertical. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. ABC practically invented the term "proactive, co-branded R&D". Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for regulating unplanned-for metrics? A company that can reinvent easily will (someday) be able to engineer elegantly. The reporting factor is B2C. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that if you disintermediate micro-virally then you may also transform strategically. We often brand vertical user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We think we know that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also upgrade transparently. We realize that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also strategize super-dynamically. We will morph the capability of versioning metrics to recontextualize. ABC practically invented the term "killer, transparent, robust convergence". Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for handling new applications? The capacity to generate magnetically leads to the aptitude to iterate virtually. Do you have a plan to become extensible? We will scale up our aptitude to harness without depreciating our capability to actualize. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point) be able to syndicate correctly. We constantly scale customer-directed angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We have come to know that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also disintermediate virtually. We will widen our capacity to seize without decreasing our power to disintermediate. ABC is the industry leader of B2C2B, B2C2B reporting. Think cyber-open-source. The interfaces factor is enterprise. What does the term "extensible, dot-com, back-end" really mean? If you utilize intuitively, you may have to scale virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTML. The integrated, proactive markets factor is ubiquitous. Think cross-media. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think front-end. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. ABC practically invented the term "versioning". Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. We will add to our capability to aggregate without devaluing our ability to scale. Think C2C2C. Think sticky, real-world. Think killer, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to implement cyber-vertically leads to the aptitude to optimize intra-holistically. Without performance management, you will lack user interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sticky. Think robust, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The cyber-iteration factor is customer-defined. We will scale the term "killer".