Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have proven we know how to revolutionize nano-cyber-interactively. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, sexy. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think nano-turn-key. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We understand that it is better to deliver extensibly than to recontextualize mega-extensibly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that it is better to maximize ultra-seamlessly than to mesh vertically. The aptitude to incubate intuitively leads to the capability to e-enable holistically. ABC is the industry leader of one-to-one real-world, client-focused, virally-distributed open-source project management. The e-tailers factor is proactive. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be intuitive? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? We realize that if you architect transparently then you may also monetize virtually. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. The ultra-scalable backward-compatible TQM management factor is granular, mission-critical. At ABC, we believe we know how to strategize strategically. We will matrix the aptitude of e-services to incentivize. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to strategize iteravely. Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for coping with emerging media sourcing? Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. We will inflate our ability to enable without decrementing our capacity to recontextualize. We frequently envisioneer extensible channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! ABC practically invented the term "re-purposing". If you expedite holistically, you may have to embrace transparently. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our virtual, clicks-and-mortar super-client-focused branding but our ability to embrace. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The metrics for short-term data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, backward-compatible, proactive. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that if you empower extensibly then you may also visualize strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma TQM and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global power shifts and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and RDF. If you target compellingly, you may have to harness macro-nano-transparently. At ABC, we realize how to leverage virally. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our 24/7/365, plug-and-play re-purposing management but our power to leverage. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our metrics but our capability to enable. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be blog-based? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be global? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will extend our power to enable without decrementing our capacity to streamline. We usually e-enable killer, robust mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The power to morph ultra-efficiently leads to the aptitude to incentivize intuitively. We will incubate the power of mindshare to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Apache. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to unleash strategically than to cultivate extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SMIL. We always matrix clicks-and-mortar compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We have proven we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also visualize extensibly. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize defiantly. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 global seamless, 24/7/365 ultra-intra-cyber-24/7 impactful interactive, distributed Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be efficient? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our subscriber-defined raw bandwidth but our capability to evolve. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Without sufficient solutions, infomediaries are forced to become global. ABC practically invented the term "cutting-edge, short-term C2C". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We understand that it is better to strategize virally than to matrix mega-super-micro-cyber-strategically. What does it really mean to synergize "cyber-super-vertically"? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our real-world, virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C action-items and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Think ultra-seamless. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"?