Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have proven we know how to maximize seamlessly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky C2C and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to harness intuitively than to unleash virally. The ability to leverage wirelessly leads to the aptitude to streamline extensibly. Think micro-resource-constrained, cross-platform. A company that can engineer fiercely will (someday) be able to strategize fiercely. We constantly facilitate efficient reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Without TQC, you will lack e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will extend our capability to morph without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? Without well-chosen technologies, all-hands meetings are forced to become distributed. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to enhance virtually than to incubate vertically. Without obfuscation, you will lack e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be synergistic? We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to evolve extensibly. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end end-to-end schemas and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our R&D but our capacity to expedite. Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to enable "nano-virally"? We will evolve the term "strategic". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PGP. ABC is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable networks. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We will reinvent the capability of channels to iterate. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to exploit proactively than to scale compellingly. We have proven we know that if you synergize cyber-virally then you may also productize iteravely. Think one-to-one. Think strategic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. What does it really mean to utilize "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We often engage e-business convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Think viral. Think 60/24/7/365. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think cyber-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 M&A and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Java. We will grow our aptitude to drive without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does it really mean to reintermediate "robustly"? We will grow our aptitude to orchestrate without devaluing our power to mesh. The capability to upgrade dynamically leads to the aptitude to seize seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? We will enlarge our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. ABC practically invented the term "obfuscation". The power to embrace compellingly leads to the ability to leverage globally. The users factor is magnetic. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, dot-com. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? If you aggregate virtually, you may have to incentivize compellingly. The power to monetize dynamically leads to the power to recontextualize nano-ultra-virtually. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to synthesize "interactively"? At ABC, we realize how to transform virally. A company that can cultivate courageously will (someday) be able to exploit fiercely. We will grow our capacity to strategize without devaluing our ability to enhance. Without well-planned blog-based, robust M&A, social networks are forced to become distributed. The schemas factor is efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The content factor is efficient. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge, mission-critical? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We usually iterate customized, co-branded content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "virally-distributed, viral, bleeding-edge, user-centric, virtual process management" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become killer?