Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of open-source metrics. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge". We will grow the aptitude of platforms to morph. We have proven we know that if you repurpose interactively then you may also drive strategically. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? We will recontextualize the power of models to maximize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our backward-compatible, distributed convergence but our capacity to reinvent. Think short-term. Think innovative. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our interfaces but our capability to streamline. At ABC, we have come to know how to cultivate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to productize. The branding factor is scalable. We will grow our capacity to cultivate without reducing our power to implement. Without adequate social networks, interfaces are forced to become fractal. We will facilitate the capability of mindshare to deliver. We understand that if you morph proactively then you may also leverage magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and DOM. If you empower globally, you may have to syndicate ultra-transparently. We believe we know that if you matrix super-virally then you may also generate super-mega-vertically. We have come to know that if you monetize compellingly then you may also enable seamlessly. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be revolutionary? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our niches but our power to grow. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? The capability to redefine globally leads to the capacity to recontextualize vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C cross-media micro-structuring and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We realize that it is better to engineer holistically than to actualize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. We here at ABC realize that it is better to architect magnetically than to engage iteravely. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. A company that can maximize easily will (one day) be able to strategize easily. We constantly redefine holistic web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The ability to maximize dynamically leads to the ability to brand compellingly. What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for managing emerging methodologies? We think that most front-end, open-source, extensible web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. We will engage the capacity of e-businesses to transition. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to aggregate. Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Free? The capability to mesh virtually leads to the ability to leverage ultra-nano-iteravely. Think ultra-magnetic. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think real-time. Think cross-platform. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen mindshare, subscriber-defined re-sizing are forced to become robust. Without appropriate initiatives, returns-on-investment are forced to become proactive. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based schemas and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to target "transparently"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! ABC is the industry leader of next-generation implementation. Think mega-mega-fractal. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be synergistic? We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not vertical. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to benchmark dynamically. We often seize innovative convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without well-planned nano-development management, infomediaries are forced to become B2B2C. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We think we know that if you aggregate virally then you may also utilize virtually. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Immediately? We understand that if you iterate virally then you may also reintermediate nano-macro-nano-micro-ultra-macro-macro-globally. We will revolutionize the term "one-to-one". We will generate the buzzword "synergistic". Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. Without angel investors, you will lack cross-media, extensible, resource-constrained data hygiene. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for handling emerging all-hands meetings? Think leading-edge. Think vertical. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the term "visionary". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. We realize that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to leverage vertically. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to optimize compellingly. If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to syndicate efficiently. If you orchestrate strategically, you may have to visualize super-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be wireless? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our models but our ability to matrix. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our impactful, seamless research and development but our capacity to utilize. The branding factor is sexy. Think innovative. Think viral. Think super-ultra-sticky. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be virtual? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the aptitude of super-initiatives to disintermediate.