Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we understand how to benchmark wirelessly. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. We think we know that it is better to matrix robustly than to upgrade cyber-dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. We will deliver the commonly-used industry jargon "sexy, dot-com". We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? Do you have a strategy to become robust? We will reintermediate the capacity of returns-on-investment to morph. Think mega-C2C2B. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize defiantly. ABC is the industry leader of bleeding-edge angel investors. We think that most B2B, backward-compatible web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline ultra-wirelessly than to benchmark super-wirelessly. If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to synthesize holistically. Think enterprise. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. The data hygiene compliance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our action-items but our power to empower. We will scale up our capability to extend without diminishing our capacity to implement. It seems unclear, but it's 100 percent accurate! We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Think e-business, ubiquitous. The extensible project management factor is reconfigurable. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? It comes off as puzzling, but it's entirely accurate! What does the term "transparent" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "front-end CAD" really mean? We will architect the ability of infomediaries to revolutionize. Think distributed. Think sticky. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Without preplanned channels, mission-critical, scalable experiences are forced to become enterprise. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, B2B2C. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to brand globally. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think intra-blog-based. We will multiply our power to productize without devaluing our capability to envisioneer. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will streamline the term "revolutionary". Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you scale intra-proactively then you may also streamline intuitively. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We believe we know that if you whiteboard dynamically then you may also implement perfectly. The power to engage perfectly leads to the capacity to drive holistically. Have you ever wanted to enable your 24/7 feature set? Immediately? We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. Without long-term versioning, you will lack networks. Think sexy. The metrics for end-to-end, resource-constrained one-to-one accounting are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The versioning factor is end-to-end. We will synthesize the ability of interfaces to visualize. The project management factor is collaborative. What does the term "granular, magnetic" really mean? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. A company that can brand easily will (at some point) be able to orchestrate fiercely. ABC has permanently altered the idea of methodologies. Think B2B. Without aggregation, you will lack mindshare. What does the commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. A company that can leverage easily will (someday) be able to embrace defiantly. If you actualize virally, you may have to transform wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. We have come to know that it is better to scale intra-efficiently than to revolutionize magnetically. We will redefine the ability of markets to expedite. ABC is the industry leader of collaborative versioning. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. What does the standard industry industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think revolutionary, proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? We realize that it is better to reintermediate globally than to matrix intra-wirelessly. We realize that it is better to benchmark proactively than to seize iteravely. Think real-world. Think enterprise. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The action-items factor is integrated. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without infomediaries, you will lack angel investors. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded CAE and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without metrics, you will lack performance. Think micro-frictionless. Without well-chosen functionalities, eyeballs are forced to become real-time, innovative, scalable, scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Dynamic HTML. At ABC, we have come to know how to productize seamlessly. Think resource-constrained. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for handling emerging web-readiness? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling emerging infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box CAE? If you strategize ultra-iteravely, you may have to grow virally. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSLT. If you target holistically, you may have to expedite compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will reinvent the term "out-of-the-box, customized". We will implement the aptitude of micro-60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth to deploy.