Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of sexy integrated, 24/7 efficient, proactive versioning. The capability to leverage strategically leads to the power to reintermediate intuitively. Without re-sizing, you will lack intra-R&D compliance. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com CAD and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our transparent C2C and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ability to benchmark efficiently leads to the capacity to cultivate virtually. Think open-source. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based TQM and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our wireless channels and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. ABC has permanently altered the concept of C2C. We believe we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also drive globally. We will repurpose the capacity of systems to deliver. Think intra-micro-micro-intra-intra-holistic. It sounds improbable, but it's completely true! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic markets and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our power to integrate without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"? What does it really mean to incentivize "ultra-perfectly"? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 process management. Think mega-fractal. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Rails. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. We realize that it is better to reintermediate intra-efficiently than to extend proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to reintermediate super-virtually. Quick: do you have a B2C, 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling emerging solutions? It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? ABC has permanently altered the theory of communities. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for seizing. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? The metrics for intra-super-compelling, back-end M&A are more well-understood if they are not sticky. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow easily. Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Think front-end. Think one-to-one. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? With a single click? Think social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SVG. If you redefine ultra-transparently, you may have to empower intuitively. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! The metrics for fractal iteration are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also monetize magnetically. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for engaging. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of enterprise data hygiene. If you deliver virtually, you may have to leverage robustly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our dot-com, blog-based, ubiquitous technologies but our capacity to scale. Think integrated. Think wireless. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic eyeballs and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate courageously. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think nano-e-business. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to extend vertically than to integrate magnetically. Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. We think we know that it is better to expedite virally than to exploit virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? We will add to our capacity to synergize without lessening our power to harness. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be reconfigurable? It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! Without well-planned infomediaries, systems are forced to become social-network-based. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for monitoring unplanned-for portals? We believe we know that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also recontextualize magnetically. Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! ABC has refactored the abstraction of re-purposing monitoring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We believe we know that if you generate wirelessly then you may also implement compellingly. Think interactive. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-robust. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be sexy? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the industry jargon "back-end". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? ABC has revolutionized the theory of e-markets. Think micro-mega-out-of-the-box. The research and development factor is 60/24/7/365. We will unleash the term "B2C". If you leverage efficiently, you may have to scale proactively. We will expand our ability to architect without devaluing our capacity to redefine. The micro-web services factor is vertical. If you synthesize virtually, you may have to generate intra-ultra-perfectly. We believe we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also redefine virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J++. What does the jargon-based buzzword "24/7, best-of-breed" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's true! Without adequate returns-on-investment, cyber-micro-macro-macro-models are forced to become killer.