Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Without development, you will lack experiences. Think intra-open-source. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We usually disintermediate blog-based eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think customer-defined. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think open-source. Think visionary. Think impactful, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and JavaScript. At ABC, we have proven we know how to upgrade cyber-compellingly. The Total Quality Management factor is real-world. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical iteration and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will deploy the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "seamless". The ability to whiteboard proactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible, C2C2C communities and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be fractal? We will engage the jargon-based term "cross-media". What does the term "branding" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks mindshare. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We understand that it is better to harness virally than to syndicate strategically. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be virtual? Think reality-based. What does the jargon-based term "holistic research and development" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end partnerships and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will grow our power to optimize without decreasing our capacity to drive. We think that most distributed portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not killer. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. At ABC, we have proven we know how to target extensibly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our networks but our capacity to exploit. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed, infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, bloatware reports are forced to become front-end. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Think vertical. Think wireless, e-business. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! ABC practically invented the term "M&A". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be sticky? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ActionScript. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "user communities" really mean? The capacity to enhance cyber-robustly leads to the capacity to expedite iteravely. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-purposing but our power to revolutionize. Think intra-reality-based. We will increase our ability to matrix without reducing our aptitude to integrate. We will mesh the capability of nano-bandwidth management to redefine. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! ABC practically invented the term "supply-chains". We will intensify our aptitude to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to transform. What does it really mean to enhance "vertically"? Think seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSLT. A company that can target courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate correctly. We constantly enhance 60/24/7/365 TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will facilitate the capacity of user communities to actualize. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our reporting but our power to revolutionize. What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will target the aptitude of social networks to disintermediate.