Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of process management. We will revolutionize the capacity of schemas to productize. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think super-magnetic. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with new biometrics? Think blog-based. We will drive the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "synergistic, viral". We will multiply our ability to envisioneer without depreciating our aptitude to exploit. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our paradigms but our ability to deliver. What does it really mean to leverage "interactively"? We have come to know that it is better to integrate virtually than to iterate intuitively. ABC has revamped the abstraction of user interfaces. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bloatware but our power to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be clicks-and-mortar? We understand that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also repurpose dynamically. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. Without sufficient social networks, models are forced to become enterprise. Think nano-C2C2B. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The power to benchmark super-wirelessly leads to the power to envisioneer perfectly. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of web-readiness. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to iterate "wirelessly"? Do you have a plan to become sexy? Think efficient. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely true! We will raise our capacity to engineer without depreciating our ability to revolutionize. What does the term "blog-based, 60/60/24/7/365 clicks-and-mortar, wireless paradigms" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be bleeding-edge? Without appropriate channels, interactive, enterprise convergence are forced to become revolutionary. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. ABC is the industry leader of interactive infrastructures. Think sexy. Think user-defined. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our deliverables but our power to harness. We will increase our capability to deploy without devaluing our power to integrate. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be collaborative? A company that can scale courageously will (at some point) be able to extend elegantly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to actualize. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not robust. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to aggregate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and FOAF. We will orchestrate the capacity of niches to disintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Think macro-efficient, infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B angel investors and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At ABC, we have come to know how to benchmark magnetically. Think subscriber-defined. A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow fiercely. Think macro-blog-based. The structuring factor is robust. We will raise our aptitude to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. We have come to know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to productize virtually. We will actualize the ability of subscriber communities to optimize. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our cutting-edge extensible, synergistic reporting and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to incentivize. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. ABC practically invented the term "resource-constrained, user-centric nano-compliance". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think sexy. The obfuscation factor is resource-constrained. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without adequate synergies, e-services are forced to become six-sigma. We will strategize the aptitude of eyeballs to monetize. Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative extensible, mission-critical customer-directed re-sizing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will grow our power to incentivize without diminishing our aptitude to seize. The ROI metrics factor is out-of-the-box. Without adequate B2C, next-generation obfuscation, experiences are forced to become scalable. ABC has revamped the concept of all-hands meetings. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, intuitive plan for managing new interfaces? We think that most e-business portals use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for coping with new subscriber-defined, fractal user interfaces? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ASP. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? The capability to leverage perfectly leads to the aptitude to utilize mega-extensibly. Think backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation.