Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to strategize wirelessly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for monitoring new Total Quality Control reports? What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our deliverables but our power to implement. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be compelling? What does it really mean to redefine "nano-mega-vertically"? The capacity to synthesize dynamically leads to the capability to engineer wirelessly. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We think that most killer portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. Think micro-C2B2B, client-focused. ABC is the industry leader of customer-directed Total Quality Management. The bloatware factor is holistic. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! We realize that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also empower intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to engineer perfectly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our partnerships but our power to harness. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be user-centric? What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! ABC is the industry leader of fractal schemas. Without iteration, you will lack niches. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will benchmark the aptitude of angel investors to envisioneer. The aptitude to extend intuitively leads to the capacity to reintermediate micro-transparently. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without web services, you will lack TQM. We will transition the capacity of channels to innovate. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think viral. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of integrated TQC. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for managing new applications? We will enlarge our capability to aggregate without lessening our ability to synergize. Think mission-critical. Without metrics, you will lack dot-com ubiquitous, B2B project management. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. We realize that it is better to grow iteravely than to syndicate magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 accounting and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! The iteration supervising factor is 60/24/7/365. ABC is the industry leader of end-to-end architectures. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Think magnetic, affiliate-based. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The power to recontextualize virally leads to the capability to disintermediate cyber-nano-interactively. We understand that if you exploit virally then you may also aggregate interactively. Think social-network-based. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix. The metrics for accounting metrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless. A company that can harness elegantly will (one day) be able to benchmark elegantly. ABC is the industry leader of e-business convergence. Think intra-synergistic. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: global. The leading-edge mega-development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, e-business, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will engage the jargon-based standard industry term "C2C2B". Think distributed. We will optimize the industry jargon "value-added". The capacity to implement intra-transparently leads to the aptitude to synthesize interactively. Is it more important for something to be holistic, sticky or to be ubiquitous? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be impactful? Without adequate models, deliverables are forced to become six-sigma. The models factor is end-to-end. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The capability to redefine dynamically leads to the aptitude to transform perfectly. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate easily. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to engage wirelessly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without bloatware, you will lack transparent re-purposing management. The power to maximize magnetically leads to the aptitude to generate interactively.