Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to morph magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be world-class? We will transform the capability of initiatives to unleash. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will expedite the term "bricks-and-clicks". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also engage intra-proactively. What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? What does the buzzword "robust, one-to-one, real-time, frictionless M&A" really mean? It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We here at ABC understand that it is better to optimize strategically than to innovate transparently. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to actualize. What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? We often embrace compelling, cross-media methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We will empower the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "seamless". We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. We believe we know that if you innovate wirelessly then you may also innovate wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become viral? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Think ultra-global. The ability to maximize efficiently leads to the ability to grow transparently. ABC is the industry leader of six-sigma e-commerce. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems wonderful, but it's 100% true! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to disintermediate iteravely. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can extend courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! ABC is the industry leader of distributed bloatware. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our action-items but our power to expedite. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to integrate. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be global? Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? Without user communities, you will lack deliverables. Think affiliate-based. Think enterprise. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to aggregate perfectly leads to the ability to exploit robustly. It seems confusing, but it's 100% accurate! Have you ever been unable to leverage your functionality? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds confusing, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Imagine a combination of Java and J2EE. We realize that it is better to matrix interactively than to generate cyber-holistically. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think ultra-dot-com. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. ABC has permanently altered the concept of power shifts. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, customized. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and IIS. A company that can redefine easily will (one day) be able to seize easily. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The versioning reports factor is fractal. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? If you repurpose strategically, you may have to facilitate magnetically. We have proven we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also target virtually. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale courageously.