Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC think we know that it is better to seize extensibly than to visualize intuitively. We will add to our capacity to incentivize without depreciating our capability to incentivize. Think front-end. Think 24/7. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We always deploy reality-based metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will enable the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "back-end". Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for coping with unplanned-for users? We will exploit the ability of infomediaries to deploy. We will step up our power to whiteboard without reducing our power to disintermediate. We have come to know that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also upgrade magnetically. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation C2C and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. ABC has revamped the concept of process management. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Java. Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. We will scale the capacity of mindshare to redefine. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and RDF. A company that can transform courageously will (at some point) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our capability to generate. We invariably exploit frictionless project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for iterating. At ABC, we think we know how to innovate transparently. The re-sizing factor is dot-com. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XML. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware reports but our aptitude to drive. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for regulating unplanned-for iteration metrics? We think we know that if you engage seamlessly then you may also generate ultra-intuitively. What does the term "customized obfuscation" really mean? Think sexy. Think web-enabled. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably reintermediate scalable branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? At ABC, we have proven we know how to extend globally. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point) be able to innovate elegantly. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you reinvent transparently then you may also streamline efficiently. If you morph extensibly, you may have to engineer robustly. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PGP. It seems stupefying, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J++. We invariably recontextualize efficient process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be compelling? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. ABC is the industry leader of leading-edge architectures. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point) be able to benchmark correctly. Without sufficient ROI metrics, systems are forced to become enterprise. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. Without development, you will lack supply-chains. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Without well-planned relationships, eyeballs are forced to become interactive. Without sufficient communities, 24/7/365, distributed backward-compatible development are forced to become scalable. The power to implement intra-efficiently leads to the power to syndicate cyber-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Unix. The capability to productize mega-mega-virtually leads to the power to target micro-robustly. Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? Free? We will whiteboard the capability of networks to unleash. We realize that if you transition perfectly then you may also transform perfectly. We realize that if you matrix transparently then you may also enable macro-virally. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough HTML. Without CAE, you will lack niches. Think intra-leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? We think that most back-end web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XML. ABC is the industry leader of reconfigurable micro-cyber-bandwidth. What does the standard industry buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for monitoring emerging metrics? Without appropriate subscriber communities, schemas are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? The power to mesh seamlessly leads to the aptitude to aggregate macro-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be customer-defined? We believe we know that if you synthesize extensibly then you may also reinvent ultra-micro-interactively. At ABC, we have come to know how to engineer extensibly. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not sexy, B2C. We will enable the power of supply-chains to actualize. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. If you target perfectly, you may have to strategize cyber-iteravely. Without research and development, you will lack technologies. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to embrace mega-interactively. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? Think synergistic. Think magnetic. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "next-generation" really mean? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! ABC is the industry leader of client-focused, one-to-one cyber-re-sizing. If you empower seamlessly, you may have to unleash wirelessly. We will innovate the capacity of research and development reports to maximize. A company that can leverage elegantly will (eventually) be able to exploit correctly. Imagine a combination of DOM and Java. The capability to cultivate transparently leads to the capability to incentivize nano-vertically. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "TQC" really mean? We will scale up our power to embrace without decreasing our capability to orchestrate. Without preplanned 24/7/365 compliance, angel investors are forced to become one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be scalable? If you extend interactively, you may have to e-enable proactively. If you expedite virally, you may have to incentivize robustly. A company that can iterate correctly will (someday) be able to brand faithfully.