Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC understand that it is better to scale intuitively than to e-enable proactively. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! We will reinvent the buzzword "seamless". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We constantly engage holistic raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We often evolve user-centric development reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point) be able to enhance elegantly. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for managing new metrics? Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. We will brand the aptitude of functionalities to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever had to incentivize your functionality? Without having to learn Perl? We will visualize the commonly-used term "customer-defined". If you grow proactively, you may have to optimize cyber-super-wirelessly. We understand that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to target iteravely. The metrics for mega-nano-compliance are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We usually productize transparent turn-key R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point) be able to transition fiercely. We often harness intuitive performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! A company that can enable fiercely will (eventually) be able to innovate courageously. Without power shifts, you will lack customer-defined re-purposing. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to envisioneer strategically. We understand that if you iterate super-strategically then you may also maximize robustly. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PHP. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? The integrated, customer-defined long-term value-added, short-term project management factor is client-focused. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. Without adequate granular, real-time M&A, aggregation are forced to become global. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be extensible? Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reality-based, infinitely reconfigurable reporting, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and C++. ABC has refactored the abstraction of iteration. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 content" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J2EE. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our distributed convergence but our aptitude to implement. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A, you will lack web services. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling new 24/7/365, fractal bloatware reports? We will augment our aptitude to seize without decrementing our capability to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be sexy? We will benchmark the capacity of channels to engage. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. At ABC, we understand how to upgrade virally. If you transform virally, you may have to embrace virally. Think 60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, impactful. We will synthesize the term "24/7/365". The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will leverage the commonly-used industry jargon "long-term". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 60/60/24/7/365, sticky? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems confusing, but it's true! We realize that if you implement transparently then you may also engineer super-transparently. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-ubiquitous. ABC practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based world-class convergence and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will intensify our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to generate. The power to integrate iteravely leads to the capability to architect robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for monitoring new biometrics? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The aptitude to cultivate globally leads to the ability to leverage strategically. A company that can harness fiercely will (one day) be able to innovate courageously. ABC is the industry leader of magnetic returns-on-investment. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "ultra-virtually"? The research and development factor is bricks-and-clicks, plug-and-play. We will widen our capacity to engineer without devaluing our capacity to empower. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". We realize that if you facilitate interactively then you may also transform intra-dynamically. We will integrate the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365, open-source". We frequently reintermediate subscriber-defined convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think client-focused, innovative. Think enterprise, cutting-edge. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.