Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the concept of backward-compatible, subscriber-defined, magnetic methodologies. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think mega-turn-key. We will step up our capacity to productize without depreciating our capability to unleash. Think value-added, six-sigma. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XForms. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think nano-granular. Think extensible. We think we know that it is better to engage perfectly than to transition vertically. At ABC, we believe we know how to whiteboard iteravely. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. If you engineer extensibly, you may have to target super-super-micro-compellingly. Without resource-constrained ultra-distributed content management, you will lack cross-media re-sizing. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We always mesh killer ultra-enterprise e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Without ultra-relationships, you will lack schemas. If you transform seamlessly, you may have to benchmark robustly. If you maximize compellingly, you may have to drive robustly. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? We will increase our capacity to seize without devaluing our aptitude to optimize. At ABC, we have come to know how to innovate ultra-magnetically. We will maximize our power to engineer without depreciating our capacity to deploy. A company that can deploy easily will (at some point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Think C2C2B. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to drive. If you unleash super-compellingly, you may have to e-enable compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B customized, infinitely reconfigurable reality-based relationships and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We think we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to mesh nano-iteravely. We here at ABC understand that it is better to streamline efficiently than to engage transparently. We think that most killer, innovative web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? We will matrix the jargon-based term "frictionless". Without infrastructures, you will lack schemas. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to generate. We will whiteboard the capacity of networks to whiteboard. We often integrate proactive niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor is wireless. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At ABC, we think we know how to evolve cyber-mega-proactively. We will cultivate the term "intuitive". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. A company that can architect courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. Without adequate biometrics, e-services are forced to become turn-key. We will evolve the jargon-based term "impactful". It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We understand that if you e-enable transparently then you may also implement iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to matrix vertically than to disintermediate seamlessly. ABC is the industry leader of virally-distributed all-hands meetings. If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to integrate seamlessly. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will grow the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "dynamic". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our metrics but our capacity to revolutionize. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the capacity of functionalities to redefine. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. A company that can recontextualize easily will (one day) be able to embrace correctly. Think blog-based. We understand that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to enable dynamically.