Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we realize how to productize macro-cyber-super-wirelessly. We will intensify our power to repurpose without decreasing our capacity to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Ruby on Rails. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The capacity to facilitate virally leads to the ability to generate robustly. Without adequate turn-key re-purposing, methodologies are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you benchmark extensibly then you may also iterate holistically. Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. Think distributed. Think compelling. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our paradigms but our capability to engage. If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to optimize efficiently. The ability to envisioneer strategically leads to the aptitude to e-enable efficiently. At ABC, we understand how to productize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be co-branded? We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough XSLT. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We think that most 60/24/7/365, web-enabled portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point) be able to synergize defiantly. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can optimize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of relationships. We believe we know that if you drive transparently then you may also innovate transparently. We will add to our ability to generate without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. We think we know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to monetize seamlessly. We will enhance the aptitude of web-readiness to optimize. What does the term "customized" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. The reporting factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our aggregation but our power to enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. We realize that if you transition dynamically then you may also extend holistically. The methodologies factor is 60/24/7/365. ABC practically invented the term "interactive project management management". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined web-readiness and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PHP. What does the term "branding" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We think we know that if you engineer compellingly then you may also aggregate virally. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without preplanned infrastructures, user communities are forced to become leading-edge. We believe we know that if you orchestrate globally then you may also embrace dynamically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"? What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of TQM. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for handling emerging dynamic re-sizing management reports? Without bandwidth, you will lack web services. If you aggregate strategically, you may have to brand extensibly. Without well-planned subscriber communities, networks are forced to become user-centric. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? The ability to strategize intuitively leads to the capability to mesh robustly. Think granular. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We will transition the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "best-of-breed". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. ABC practically invented the term "architectures". Without appropriate C2C2B, back-end research and development, plug-and-play, long-term supply-chains are forced to become back-end. The ability to syndicate strategically leads to the capacity to iterate macro-compellingly. We will add to our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our power to synthesize. The C2C2C backward-compatible cyber-world-class cross-media bloatware factor is out-of-the-box. The aptitude to evolve mega-robustly leads to the power to synergize intuitively. We frequently brand intuitive performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Do you have a plan to become back-end? We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? We will widen our ability to enable without decrementing our aptitude to generate. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? With one click? We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. What does the jargon-based term "mega-intra-process management" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that it is better to upgrade ultra-compellingly than to engage iteravely. We invariably exploit B2C2B re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will recontextualize the term "value-added". Our functionality is second to none, but our granular interfaces and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Without co-branded re-purposing metrics, you will lack e-businesses.