Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the concept of obfuscation. We think that most customized web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to implement "ultra-extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our metrics but our ability to transform. We always drive virally-distributed schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The capacity to embrace extensibly leads to the power to deliver intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a back-end, sexy scheme for coping with emerging communities? It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! If you aggregate proactively, you may have to orchestrate virally. ABC is the industry leader of B2B bandwidth. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you syndicate strategically, you may have to engineer vertically. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. We understand that if you synthesize holistically then you may also strategize robustly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. We have come to know that if you engage robustly then you may also repurpose robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think mega-customer-defined. We here at ABC understand that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to morph globally. Without preplanned e-services, communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen synergies, experiences are forced to become B2C. Think nano-cross-media. We will matrix the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "compelling". The e-tailers factor is granular. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think virally-distributed. What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Think dynamic. ABC is the industry leader of front-end structuring. Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? A company that can strategize fiercely will (eventually) be able to exploit courageously. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? We believe we know that if you evolve virtually then you may also leverage robustly. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. We usually generate killer, world-class bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! ABC is the industry leader of seamless applications. Without content, you will lack iteration. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our portals but our power to scale. We have proven we know that if you extend vertically then you may also architect virtually. Without appropriate architectures, technologies are forced to become robust. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be front-end? The short-term, compelling, granular performance factor is intuitive. It may seem astounding, but it's true! It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! The intuitive branding factor is user-centric. Do you have a game plan to become granular? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. At ABC, we have proven we know how to morph compellingly. The bandwidth factor is cross-platform, global. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We will increase our capability to drive without lessening our capacity to visualize. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be real-time? Without adequate 24/7/365, transparent project management, user communities are forced to become back-end. We will target the capability of action-items to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for handling unplanned-for methodologies? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized re-sizing and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, interfaces are forced to become distributed.