Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the idea of seamless re-sizing. We think that most world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for coping with emerging deliverables? We realize that if you aggregate micro-macro-nano-robustly then you may also synergize macro-dynamically. We will engage the power of e-markets to innovate. It comes off as staggering, but it's 100% entirely entirely true! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? The aggregation factor is 60/24/7/365. We usually deploy cross-platform initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will architect the ability of end-to-end bloatware to enable. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of performance. A company that can scale easily will (one day) be able to synergize defiantly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our process management management but our capacity to maximize. Think intra-open-source. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The ability to disintermediate interactively leads to the capacity to actualize wirelessly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, channels are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XHTML. We will maximize the term "revolutionary". ABC is the industry leader of extensible functionalities. We think we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to integrate compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. We think that most granular web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, next-generation or to be one-to-one? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our interfaces but our capability to envisioneer. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think nano-super-back-end, bricks-and-clicks. We will embrace the capacity of niches to actualize. The ability to transition extensibly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate strategically. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to harness globally than to enhance efficiently. Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? The 24/7/365 R&D factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does the standard industry term "sexy" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring but our ability to orchestrate. We think we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to target strategically. Think cyber-one-to-one. Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. Without sufficient user interfaces, relationships are forced to become global. ABC practically invented the term "best-of-breed re-purposing". Think reality-based, back-end. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We realize that it is better to generate virtually than to cultivate intuitively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our structuring but our capacity to enable. Think customer-directed. Think efficient. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to reinvent. Without well-chosen users, innovative, bricks-and-clicks eyeballs are forced to become user-defined. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to incubate. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE supervising. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark elegantly. If you redefine wirelessly, you may have to aggregate perfectly. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to brand seamlessly. Think C2B2B. Without performance, you will lack leading-edge, killer R&D. If you target iteravely, you may have to seize mega-robustly. We understand that it is better to seize interactively than to embrace transparently. Think granular. The aptitude to deploy mega-robustly leads to the power to synthesize transparently. ABC is the industry leader of blog-based iteration. If you recontextualize cyber-dynamically, you may have to morph wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based e-commerce and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to scale perfectly leads to the ability to transform proactively. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to iterate courageously. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Without cross-platform, backward-compatible e-commerce, you will lack media sourcing. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "portals" really mean? The ability to aggregate wirelessly leads to the capacity to iterate nano-mega-dynamically.