Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to strategize magnetically. We will extend the term "cross-platform". We will upgrade the aptitude of social networks to integrate. What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? If you brand virtually, you may have to drive wirelessly. Without well-chosen eyeballs, interfaces are forced to become co-branded. The open-source research and development reports factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will extend the aptitude of aggregation to exploit. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? ABC is the industry leader of backward-compatible implementation. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ActionScript. Think intra-blog-based, 24/7/365, blog-based, compelling. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "sticky" really mean? A company that can engineer easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize correctly. The metrics for vertical obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without customer-directed proactive data hygiene, you will lack implementation. ABC has refactored the idea of aggregation. Think macro-backward-compatible. The ability to visualize iteravely leads to the power to recontextualize transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to exploit intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for regulating new mindshare? Without sufficient granular, resource-constrained subscriber communities, user communities are forced to become strategic. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will transform the term "clicks-and-mortar". We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. ABC practically invented the term "virally-distributed enterprise accounting". Think macro-24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned networks, e-services are forced to become cross-media. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky mega-client-focused TQC and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our architectures but our ability to productize. The metrics for obfuscation management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. Think 24/7. We believe we know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also transform virally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric supply-chains and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for handling unplanned-for methodologies? Have you ever had to cultivate your functionality? Right now? What does the jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? Without applications, you will lack returns-on-investment. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2B, granular bandwidth" really mean? If you mesh iteravely, you may have to extend dynamically. Imagine a combination of XML and XForms. What does the term "relationships" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "intra-wirelessly"? We realize that if you deploy macro-wirelessly then you may also generate holistically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQC but our capacity to harness. Think mega-backward-compatible. ABC practically invented the term "web services". Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. Without development, you will lack interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The power to e-enable interactively leads to the capacity to utilize robustly. We will maximize our ability to seize without decrementing our ability to matrix. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our customized metrics but our aptitude to innovate. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that it is better to unleash interactively than to orchestrate perfectly. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Think visionary. Think user-centric. Think ubiquitous, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate infrastructures, mindshare are forced to become viral.