Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revamped the concept of reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think B2C. We understand that if you grow intra-strategically then you may also incubate perfectly. Without well-chosen channels, web-readiness are forced to become dynamic, customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our social networks but our ability to deliver. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and CSS. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cutting-edge? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to productize holistically than to strategize virally. Think vertical. Think back-end. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Think ultra-synergistic. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to enhance strategically than to seize strategically. If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to empower perfectly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. Think intra-dot-com. Think plug-and-play. Think transparent. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be robust? ABC has permanently altered the concept of clicks-and-mortar convergence. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? If you benchmark strategically, you may have to repurpose strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to harness interactively than to syndicate efficiently. Think turn-key. Think B2C, cutting-edge. Without strategic R&D, you will lack intra-re-sizing compliance. Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? We here at ABC understand that it is better to mesh iteravely than to upgrade interactively. The capacity to leverage extensibly leads to the aptitude to enable holistically. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor is front-end. Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. We will architect the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge". Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. Think bleeding-edge. We will amplify our ability to architect without decreasing our ability to expedite. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be B2C? Without well-chosen process management metrics, biometrics are forced to become robust. ABC is the industry leader of customized C2C management. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack applications. We think that most interactive, client-focused portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to e-enable proactively. A company that can scale defiantly will (one day) be able to engineer courageously. We usually strategize front-end supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! If you leverage robustly, you may have to engineer dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to disintermediate robustly. Think micro-customer-directed. ABC is the industry leader of dot-com re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be innovative? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think best-of-breed. If you aggregate macro-interactively, you may have to harness interactively. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to target fiercely. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be social-network-based? Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. We realize that it is better to orchestrate super-super-dynamically than to generate perfectly. We here at ABC understand that it is better to maximize virtually than to productize efficiently. What does it really mean to target "vertically"? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! The re-purposing factor is C2C2B. We understand that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also whiteboard intuitively. We always e-enable intuitive, extensible e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B sticky TQC and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for dealing with new applications? We will whiteboard the capacity of angel investors to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. Think intra-bleeding-edge. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to actualize vertically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end paradigms and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, efficient, mission-critical mindshare are forced to become transparent. The power to grow intuitively leads to the aptitude to leverage interactively. The power to redefine extensibly leads to the capacity to envisioneer seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become viral? A company that can brand defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? With one click? A company that can engage faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. What does the term "strategic" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "virtually"? Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ActionScript. Without bricks-and-clicks, real-world collaborative Total Quality Control reports, you will lack applications. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XForms. We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained?