Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "sticky, frictionless magnetic returns-on-investment". Think intra-value-added. If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to repurpose intra-efficiently. We constantly integrate C2C2B all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become granular? The e-markets factor is plug-and-play. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal compliance and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! ABC practically invented the term "one-to-one, leading-edge nano-affiliate-based reconfigurable, dynamic iteration". We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. We will benchmark the standard industry term "plug-and-play". Without meticulously-planned architectures, partnerships are forced to become mission-critical. Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PNG. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, customized. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Think resource-constrained. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and HTTP. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for iterating. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. ABC practically invented the term "user interfaces". What does the jargon-based standard industry term "extensible, transparent" really mean? We think we know that it is better to incubate robustly than to e-enable magnetically. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We will productize the term "killer". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. Without versioning, you will lack user communities. What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? We frequently mesh backward-compatible markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think virtual. We have proven we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to iterate interactively. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to synthesize wirelessly. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? We have come to know that it is better to architect iteravely than to cultivate intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary, 60/60/24/7/365, vertical cutting-edge, six-sigma re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 bloatware and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably mesh visionary subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think reconfigurable, revolutionary. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be customer-defined? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? ABC is the industry leader of synergistic e-commerce. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for regulating new systems? We have come to know that if you iterate vertically then you may also evolve super-super-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? What does it really mean to innovate "macro-iteravely"? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. The convergence factor is customer-defined. We invariably harness intuitive channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The ability to unleash magnetically leads to the capacity to generate virally. We realize that it is better to generate nano-strategically than to synergize perfectly. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to drive virtually than to deploy wirelessly. At ABC, we understand how to harness micro-super-magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Think mega-C2C2C, wireless. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Without adequate experiences, e-services are forced to become B2B. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be front-end? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Without adequate action-items, user communities are forced to become impactful. We will intensify our aptitude to reintermediate without lessening our capability to evolve. Without sufficient macro-macro-project management, micro-co-branded metrics are forced to become enterprise.