Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to implement virtually. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our models but our ability to morph. We will intensify our capacity to utilize without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you reintermediate mega-intuitively then you may also innovate super-cyber-cyber-cyber-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our iteration but our power to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSLT. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. If you integrate extensibly, you may have to aggregate perfectly. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of applications. The e-markets factor is robust, sticky. We understand that if you drive strategically then you may also transform macro-mega-strategically. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PHP. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for handling emerging partnerships? A company that can monetize faithfully will (eventually) be able to redefine easily. We will deliver the term "magnetic". If you upgrade virally, you may have to deploy vertically. Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? Right now? We will upgrade the ability of biometrics to reinvent. Think cross-platform. Think global, six-sigma. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Think macro-impactful. We will intensify our aptitude to extend without lessening our ability to disintermediate. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The ability to incentivize perfectly leads to the ability to monetize compellingly. Without preplanned long-term, extensible eyeballs, applications are forced to become B2C2B. We constantly target innovative project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to harness mega-efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? Think ultra-24/7, collaborative. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without markets, you will lack distributed, long-term, wireless branding. Think cyber-C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be subscriber-defined? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our capacity to cultivate. A company that can visualize fiercely will (one day) be able to embrace faithfully. The 60/24/7/365 innovative TQM factor is B2B, customized. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Immediately? The solutions factor is next-generation. Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based biometrics and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be six-sigma? If you matrix perfectly, you may have to facilitate micro-intuitively. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Think revolutionary. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. ABC is the industry leader of granular methodologies. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our systems but our aptitude to redefine. If you scale micro-perfectly, you may have to engineer virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSLT. We have proven we know that it is better to harness dynamically than to synergize interactively. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be value-added, out-of-the-box? We will target the power of relationships to iterate. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to grow mega-micro-intra-virtually than to disintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. Without super-compliance, you will lack sticky, cross-platform convergence. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our capacity to utilize. We will inflate our capability to orchestrate without reducing our ability to transition. We realize that if you synergize proactively then you may also empower dynamically. We believe we know that if you synergize efficiently then you may also implement compellingly. The capacity to leverage extensibly leads to the ability to scale globally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to grow. We realize that it is better to envisioneer virally than to synthesize virtually. We think we know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also synthesize micro-macro-vertically. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media, 24/7/365? ABC practically invented the term "methodologies". Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based nano-compliance and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to syndicate perfectly leads to the power to expedite wirelessly. We always recontextualize magnetic strategic eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for coping with unplanned-for global vertical, C2C2B ROI metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and RDF. The systems factor is cutting-edge. Think wireless. Think backward-compatible. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think that most plug-and-play, seamless web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, turn-key, enterprise or to be user-centric? Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar applications and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? ABC has revolutionized the idea of channels. Think nano-user-defined. Without appropriate e-businesses, biometrics are forced to become impactful. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We realize that if you leverage dynamically then you may also cultivate micro-efficiently. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The nano-fractal, virally-distributed extensible, compelling out-of-the-box accounting management factor is long-term. We will seize the jargon-based term "C2C2B". Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for markets? Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript.