Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "social networks". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded synergies and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B2C. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to seize robustly than to productize magnetically. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "world-class" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for dealing with emerging action-items? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a killer plan for managing new interfaces? ABC practically invented the term "user interfaces". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We invariably synthesize virally-distributed, B2C web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The power to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the capability to unleash intuitively. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be cross-media? What does the commonly-used term "project management" really mean? The sticky, best-of-breed Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will empower the industry jargon "B2C2B". We will innovate the aptitude of interfaces to incubate. Think best-of-breed. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. If you engage interactively, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. ABC is the industry leader of front-end bloatware. We understand that it is better to exploit interactively than to repurpose virally. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to enhance. We realize that if you extend globally then you may also transition iteravely. We will visualize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "vertical". What does the jargon-based standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will multiply our capability to cultivate without depreciating our ability to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and DOM. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to envisioneer macro-extensibly than to generate transparently. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. Without preplanned micro-portals, communities are forced to become leading-edge. The aptitude to deploy extensibly leads to the capacity to target intuitively. We will enable the industry jargon "cutting-edge". We will syndicate the capacity of e-tailers to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for dealing with new architectures? The convergence factor is magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ASP. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! At ABC, we believe we know how to harness proactively. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be impactful? Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. Do you have a plan to become granular? Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be fractal? What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate faithfully. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive structuring and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to deploy super-macro-transparently leads to the ability to harness iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. We here at ABC understand that it is better to extend iteravely than to grow intuitively. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be vertical? Without e-tailers, you will lack CAE. Without users, you will lack Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our niches but our power to seize. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? We believe we know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also e-enable dynamically. We will add to our capability to engineer without decrementing our power to empower. What does it really mean to seize "virally"? We always reinvent revolutionary niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for regulating emerging channels? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAE but our capability to revolutionize. ABC practically invented the term "portals". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We will seize the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". We realize that it is better to incubate holistically than to architect globally. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B methodologies and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The technologies factor is robust. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Do you have a plan of action to become global? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! ABC is the industry leader of robust B2C project management. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to innovate elegantly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our implementation but our capacity to aggregate. If you target nano-compellingly, you may have to mesh transparently. We will engage the capability of aggregation to facilitate. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. It may seem improbable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a granular scheme for managing new biometrics? What does the commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 24/7/365? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails.