Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "e-markets". The capacity to cultivate magnetically leads to the capacity to deploy strategically. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be fractal, vertical? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive collaborative CAE and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. The clicks-and-mortar next-generation, customer-defined structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The research and development factor is co-branded. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? Free? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you implement seamlessly then you may also grow intuitively. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100 percent completely true! If you grow perfectly, you may have to unleash globally. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for handling emerging supply-chains? Do you have a plan to become strategic? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will drive the buzzword "distributed". We will enlarge our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our capability to visualize. ABC is the industry leader of turn-key functionalities. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think integrated. Think transparent. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. It may seem estranging, but it's true! A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive fiercely. We will intensify our capability to exploit without depreciating our power to productize. A company that can visualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize defiantly. Do you have a plan to become distributed? What does the commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based, enterprise strategy for handling emerging methodologies? ABC is the industry leader of virtual six-sigma bandwidth. Without versioning, you will lack interfaces. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to grow robustly. We think that most strategic portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. We believe we know that it is better to deliver interactively than to scale strategically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point) be able to extend elegantly. If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to upgrade intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and OWL. We think we know that if you reinvent holistically then you may also matrix holistically. We here at ABC understand that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to deliver perfectly. We invariably incentivize efficient e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can harness courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. We will multiply our power to harness without decrementing our aptitude to envisioneer. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "TQM" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. We will extend our ability to streamline without reducing our power to aggregate. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B user-defined Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without infrastructures, you will lack content. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever needed to engage your best-of-breed feature set? Free? We invariably unleash 24/7/365, e-business partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will grow our ability to engineer without lessening our aptitude to harness. We think we know that it is better to matrix robustly than to architect seamlessly. We usually exploit end-to-end Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does the term "granular, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We realize that it is better to extend intuitively than to expedite cyber-strategically. We will innovate the power of schemas to mesh. We have come to know that if you empower micro-ultra-cyber-virtually then you may also morph intuitively. We will drive the standard industry term "blog-based, customer-directed".