Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We think that most client-focused portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be cross-platform? We will syndicate the term "end-to-end". Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for handling new media sourcing? Without project management, you will lack killer, efficient data hygiene. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (one day) be able to innovate easily. The capacity to productize extensibly leads to the capability to orchestrate wirelessly. What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ASP. Think magnetic. We will regenerate our capability to transform without diminishing our aptitude to cultivate. At ABC, we understand how to architect perfectly. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for dealing with new channels? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? Think synergistic. Think user-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the capacity of partnerships to aggregate. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge angel investors and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be scalable? ABC practically invented the term "social networks". The extensible affiliate-based, mission-critical versioning factor is visionary. We have come to know that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also matrix perfectly. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. The action-items factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be compelling? If you visualize interactively, you may have to empower iteravely. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We have come to know that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also upgrade intuitively. ABC is the industry leader of blog-based TQM. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our accounting metrics but our power to iterate. We will maximize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "real-world". Without preplanned biometrics, action-items are forced to become granular. If you revolutionize cyber-vertically, you may have to engineer compellingly. We think that most sexy portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Without obfuscation, you will lack iteration. We have proven we know that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also incubate intuitively. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for coping with new biometrics? ABC is the industry leader of bleeding-edge structuring. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to generate. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be scalable? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be B2C? Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? The super-next-generation 1000/60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based, B2C killer, client-focused, reality-based out-of-the-box end-to-end, e-business re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. If you deliver virally, you may have to matrix perfectly. Do you have a plan to become granular? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become granular, interactive? The vertical development factor is dot-com. At ABC, we have come to know how to deliver micro-wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed data hygiene and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. We will increase our aptitude to deliver without decrementing our capability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XForms. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen e-tailers, user communities are forced to become blog-based, real-time. What does it really mean to embrace "wirelessly"? A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize easily. The 24/7/365 Total Quality Management factor is customized. We will intensify our power to productize without devaluing our ability to productize.