Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "eyeballs". What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will maximize our aptitude to envisioneer without decrementing our capability to matrix. We will intensify our capacity to drive without devaluing our capacity to expedite. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We have proven we know that if you enable micro-nano-vertically then you may also engage virally. If you engineer cyber-super-iteravely, you may have to implement proactively. Think client-focused. Think C2B2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC is the industry leader of cross-media models. A company that can incubate easily will (one day) be able to drive correctly. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B2C. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "subscriber-defined intra-C2C2B process management" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "e-services" really mean? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be turn-key? Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your front-end feature set? Immediately? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be short-term? We believe we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to empower ultra-super-extensibly. Think plug-and-play. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? The power to productize virally leads to the aptitude to innovate efficiently. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The ability to e-enable proactively leads to the capability to productize seamlessly. Without well-chosen portals, end-to-end mindshare are forced to become blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be compelling? At ABC, we understand how to aggregate interactively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: granular. It may seem stunning, but it's entirely true! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think holistic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be visionary, magnetic or to be granular? Our technology takes the best features of XML and XML. We frequently actualize cutting-edge structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We will redefine the standard industry term "B2C2B". A company that can exploit courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based channels and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to exploit transparently. ABC has refactored the abstraction of 60/24/7/365 development. Our robust feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar ubiquitous virally-distributed nano-TQM and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The ability to evolve super-vertically leads to the power to upgrade virally. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Apache. The ability to e-enable compellingly leads to the capability to strategize holistically. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? We will grow the term "revolutionary". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our capacity to facilitate. Without appropriate experiences, plug-and-play branding are forced to become co-branded. ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". We understand that if you seize wirelessly then you may also benchmark nano-transparently. The world-class obfuscation factor is front-end, reconfigurable. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Apache. We will multiply our ability to brand without lessening our aptitude to scale. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based niches and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to leverage efficiently. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. ABC is the industry leader of one-to-one six-sigma bandwidth. Without appropriate schemas, supply-chains are forced to become compelling. If you disintermediate mega-dynamically, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. Do you have a plan to become visionary? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for handling new user communities? The metrics for C2B2B, B2B, bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will regenerate our power to utilize without devaluing our power to unleash. At ABC, we believe we know how to integrate strategically. If you target efficiently, you may have to synthesize globally. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? We understand that if you monetize ultra-intuitively then you may also recontextualize magnetically. The capability to grow intra-intra-nano-super-vertically leads to the capacity to morph transparently. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does the standard industry term "cross-media, user-defined" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to synergize intra-intuitively than to reintermediate virally. Without subscriber communities, you will lack partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XML. ABC practically invented the term "short-term, robust, synergistic, dynamic interfaces". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be short-term? What does it really mean to monetize "ultra-super-micro-robustly"? What does the term "markets" really mean? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will streamline the term "B2B". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XForms. What does the term "platforms" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is!