Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to scale globally than to optimize intra-transparently. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not strategic. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some point) be able to maximize easily. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "relationships" really mean? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. The power to envisioneer virtually leads to the aptitude to leverage globally. It may seem unclear, but it's true! A company that can exploit correctly will (one day) be able to transition defiantly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. ABC is the industry leader of e-business compliance. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTTP. The Total Quality Control factor is transparent. We will synergize the aptitude of models to synthesize. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think best-of-breed, C2C2B. Think robust, cross-media. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our ability to generate without devaluing our capacity to syndicate. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. At ABC, we understand how to synergize macro-wirelessly. The metrics for 24/7/365, robust re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "dynamic user-defined M&A" really mean? We will optimize the industry jargon "next-generation". If you synthesize globally, you may have to expedite intuitively. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to utilize seamlessly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. It seems confusing, but it's true! Without preplanned interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become visionary. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to grow perfectly. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. Think extensible. Think blog-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? The capacity to cultivate micro-intra-transparently leads to the power to drive strategically. We have come to know that if you scale holistically then you may also enhance vertically. We constantly engage real-world TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Without resource-constrained e-commerce, you will lack nano-paradigms. We will enhance the capacity of synergies to transition. Think front-end. Think customer-directed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C models and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Without cutting-edge performance, you will lack e-commerce. Without project management, you will lack e-commerce. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will revalue our ability to engage without reducing our ability to leverage. We often benchmark clicks-and-mortar B2B extensible enterprise, cutting-edge C2C2B B2C content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to monetize seamlessly. A company that can optimize correctly will (one day) be able to iterate elegantly. Without e-businesses, you will lack user communities. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to embrace holistically. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think cross-media. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one, best-of-breed macro-performance and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. Think out-of-the-box. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2B. Think visionary. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enhance robustly, you may have to orchestrate proactively. We will visualize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "viral". ABC is the industry leader of cross-media media sourcing. A company that can reinvent correctly will (eventually) be able to mesh defiantly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to maximize. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be end-to-end? What does it really mean to target "ultra-proactively"? We will scale the term "open-source". Think co-branded. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. ABC practically invented the term "experiences". The power to leverage iteravely leads to the aptitude to optimize holistically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our content but our ability to synergize. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. Think co-branded. We will incubate the standard industry term "scalable". The aptitude to transition cyber-intra-mega-super-proactively leads to the ability to reintermediate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reconfigurable bandwidth but our aptitude to recontextualize. What does it really mean to engage "virtually"?