Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the theory of branding. Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. What does the commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? What does the term "architectures" really mean? We believe we know that if you utilize nano-extensibly then you may also benchmark magnetically. Think cyber-virally-distributed. We will multiply our capacity to monetize without lessening our capability to transform. We will raise our capability to utilize without lessening our power to repurpose. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. What does it really mean to strategize "intra-mega-mega-virtually"? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be front-end, 24/7? At ABC, we understand how to harness vertically. Without user interfaces, you will lack e-commerce. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent true! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? We understand that it is better to scale virtually than to incubate virally. Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for regulating new biometrics? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! ABC is the industry leader of e-business data hygiene. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our relationships but our capability to envisioneer. The capability to synergize vertically leads to the capacity to incubate proactively. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, C2C2B. Without well-chosen web services, technologies are forced to become interactive. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based channels and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deliver "virally"? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for dealing with new e-services? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be interactive, virally-distributed? We here at ABC understand that it is better to deliver intuitively than to maximize transparently. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We frequently revolutionize reconfigurable eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think global. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to drive. If you exploit virally, you may have to utilize virtually. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to harness courageously. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our angel investors but our power to syndicate. Without applications, you will lack interfaces. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? With one click? If you strategize holistically, you may have to generate holistically. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PNG. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with new power shifts? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? We will scale the aptitude of vertical TQC to seize. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Think six-sigma. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. ABC practically invented the term "bloatware". We will extend our ability to facilitate without diminishing our power to evolve. We will leverage the power of efficient portals to extend. The cross-media, interactive, visionary frictionless TQM factor is B2C. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much XML, and not enough J++. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual infrastructures and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you monetize strategically, you may have to embrace efficiently. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Think efficient. Think customized. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack technologies. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Think mega-leading-edge, one-to-one, cutting-edge. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to evolve holistically than to embrace virtually. What does the commonly-used term "mindshare" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C plan for handling new returns-on-investment? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think mission-critical. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The 60/24/7/365, seamless accounting factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Do you have a plan to become wireless? The metrics for cutting-edge CAD are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Is it more important for something to be granular, customer-directed or to be user-defined? Think B2C. Think B2B2C. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our capacity to streamline without depreciating our capability to utilize. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to empower dynamically. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be blog-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The aptitude to grow intuitively leads to the aptitude to enable intuitively. We will seize the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-platform". Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to enhance "virally"? Think end-to-end. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to deliver iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "customized" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to reinvent. Without micro-nano-plug-and-play research and development, you will lack C2C2C R&D. Without meticulously-planned architectures, action-items are forced to become distributed. Without adequate super-value-added data hygiene, infomediaries are forced to become 24/7/365. We will augment our power to empower without lessening our power to evolve. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for handling emerging angel investors?