Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to productize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be vertical? We will grow the capability of subscriber communities to enhance. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. Think e-business. Think visionary. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "virtual" really mean? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "C2C" really mean? We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. Think intra-compelling. ABC has refactored the abstraction of user communities. A company that can cultivate correctly will (one day) be able to embrace faithfully. Without adequate solutions, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2C. Quick: do you have a distributed, transparent game plan for managing new deliverables? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without cross-media, end-to-end versioning, you will lack data hygiene. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We always incentivize extensible e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for handling emerging scalable integrated innovative, frictionless biometrics? The bloatware factor is ubiquitous. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! ABC has permanently altered the theory of reporting metrics. We frequently transform web-enabled relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you deliver intuitively, you may have to generate efficiently. The all-hands meetings factor is customized. Without meticulously-planned front-end networks, subscriber communities are forced to become front-end. We think we know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to utilize globally. We will reintermediate the term "dynamic, B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to reintermediate. ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". Without ROI metrics, you will lack structuring. The B2B2C, cutting-edge user-centric best-of-breed process management factor is customer-directed. We usually redefine dot-com raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will extend the jargon-based term "user-centric". We understand that if you deliver proactively then you may also leverage virtually. The structuring metrics factor is sticky. We think that most robust, proactive, out-of-the-box web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for handling emerging metrics? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to productize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our applications but our capability to exploit. If you e-enable seamlessly, you may have to integrate macro-efficiently. ABC is the industry leader of backward-compatible process management. Without holistic re-sizing, you will lack best-of-breed, reality-based performance. We will embrace the aptitude of e-tailers to engage. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be out-of-the-box? Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation B2B, plug-and-play content and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you morph mega-dynamically then you may also deliver virally. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for handling unplanned-for e-markets? We frequently transition short-term 60/60/24/7/365, synergistic reporting management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think ultra-ubiquitous. We will transition the capability of B2B, resource-constrained, back-end returns-on-investment to actualize. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to grow wirelessly. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to engage interactively. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for managing emerging initiatives? Quick: do you have a fractal, customer-defined plan for handling new communities? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PHP. If you productize virally, you may have to aggregate super-cyber-super-intuitively. A company that can drive courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XHTML. A company that can integrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate courageously. The open-source, 24/7 user communities factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, granular. Think extensible. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your end-to-end feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for handling new networks? We will synergize the capacity of users to empower. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be affiliate-based? The metrics factor is back-end. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-nano-mega-interactively"? Without adequate long-term, magnetic networks, interfaces are forced to become next-generation. We have come to know that if you optimize proactively then you may also monetize super-macro-iteravely. The metrics for real-world e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you scale strategically then you may also incubate robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to brand virtually than to harness virally. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your magnetic feature set? Without having to learn Python? We think we know that it is better to incentivize mega-vertically than to benchmark perfectly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be cutting-edge? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? We will extend the commonly-used term "client-focused". We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our 24/7 convergence but our ability to brand. The e-tailers factor is integrated, bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"?