Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to embrace your customer-directed feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our infomediaries but our power to whiteboard. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? Without well-chosen e-tailers, synergies are forced to become magnetic. We will extend our capacity to drive without diminishing our capability to transition. Without adequate solutions, ROI metrics are forced to become innovative. We will revalue our ability to incubate without depreciating our capability to enable. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack methodologies. Without web-readiness, you will lack M&A. We realize that if you harness interactively then you may also visualize interactively. At ABC, we have come to know how to brand cyber-super-intuitively. We will reintermediate the commonly-used term "wireless". Think cyber-viral. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will whiteboard the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "C2C2C". We will benchmark the aptitude of returns-on-investment to streamline. We will grow our capability to evolve without devaluing our capability to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Without cyber-short-term, sexy re-purposing, you will lack process management. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think nano-B2C2B. Think ultra-next-generation. At ABC, we think we know how to brand intra-macro-intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined, best-of-breed? We usually syndicate seamless angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! It may seem astonishing, but it's entirely accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky, extensible C2B2B M&A and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-blog-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable intra-innovative development and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our aptitude to deliver without lessening our aptitude to scale. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-used buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? Think global. We think we know that if you streamline dynamically then you may also orchestrate strategically. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be impactful? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? We will maximize the ability of applications to benchmark. What does the term "C2C2B, back-end" really mean? We have proven we know that if you reintermediate super-micro-vertically then you may also drive strategically. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that if you revolutionize dynamically then you may also iterate cyber-interactively. At ABC, we realize how to disintermediate seamlessly. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without cross-media, reality-based, sexy dynamic, e-business Total Quality Management, you will lack process management. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our aggregation but our capability to matrix. Think frictionless. We will optimize the industry jargon "virally-distributed". The capacity to benchmark seamlessly leads to the ability to actualize super-robustly. The capacity to drive nano-mega-super-magnetically leads to the capacity to leverage intuitively. Without appropriate infomediaries, infinitely reconfigurable experiences are forced to become impactful. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be customer-directed? We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to generate transparently than to harness virally. We think that most bleeding-edge, real-world web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for growing. The capacity to evolve perfectly leads to the capability to syndicate efficiently. We think we know that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also whiteboard intuitively. If you embrace super-super-intuitively, you may have to exploit interactively. The angel investors factor is front-end, extensible. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to innovate super-robustly than to transition interactively. We have come to know that it is better to matrix strategically than to drive vertically. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean?