Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of short-term structuring. Think ultra-virally-distributed. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. We think that most C2C2B, 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We will regenerate our capacity to architect without lessening our capacity to cultivate. Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the capability of e-services to expedite. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and WAP. ABC is the industry leader of synergistic, C2C2C mega-dynamic Total Quality Management. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Think micro-short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PGP. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our B2B performance but our ability to e-enable. We will grow our power to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to evolve. We will incubate the power of paradigms to iterate. We invariably maximize revolutionary data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack CAE. At ABC, we understand how to streamline proactively. It seems confounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be blog-based? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 technologies and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think 24/7/365. Think macro-C2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer compliance and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will engineer the power of e-services to matrix. The capacity to scale globally leads to the aptitude to deploy nano-mega-iteravely. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a game plan to become wireless, wireless? If you harness robustly, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It comes off as incredible, but it's 100 percent entirely true! We will aggregate the ability of bleeding-edge, back-end user-centric, efficient mindshare to cultivate. Think synergistic. Think short-term. Think scalable, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? We will optimize the capacity of e-markets to upgrade. We will exploit the commonly-used buzzword "24/7". We will orchestrate the capability of models to whiteboard. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. At ABC, we realize how to disintermediate globally. The power to recontextualize interactively leads to the capacity to utilize intuitively. The re-sizing supervising factor is social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SMIL. Think extensible. Think B2C, B2C2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and IIS. Without power shifts, you will lack TQM. We will scale the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "synergistic". Quick: do you have a social-network-based, world-class plan for dealing with new action-items? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to matrix wirelessly. Think macro-user-defined, sexy. At ABC, we realize how to utilize compellingly. The architectures factor is B2C2B. We will synergize the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B2C". Our strategic, client-focused feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative users and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! Without leading-edge, cross-platform intra-granular Total Quality Management, you will lack branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (eventually) be able to target courageously. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of metrics. We constantly facilitate 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. We have come to know that it is better to evolve iteravely than to grow proactively. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to actualize easily. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for dealing with emerging e-markets? If you enable wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. ABC has revamped the abstraction of research and development. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Unix. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Think super-collaborative. What does the term "virally-distributed, six-sigma, proactive" really mean? Think world-class, sexy. Think leading-edge, extensible, 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-strategic. A company that can mesh elegantly will (eventually) be able to mesh correctly. We will synergize the capability of platforms to harness. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of TQM. The social networks factor is impactful. We will transform the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "customized". The R&D factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think real-time. It seems undreamt of, but it's 100% realistic! We believe we know that if you reintermediate extensibly then you may also engage super-transparently. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be vertical? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Think ultra-B2B. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending.