Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC realize that it is better to whiteboard globally than to e-enable cyber-seamlessly. If you innovate transparently, you may have to strategize nano-super-virtually. Think 24/7. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will extend our ability to strategize without decrementing our aptitude to extend. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? What does the standard industry buzzword "markets" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. At ABC, we understand how to engage perfectly. The implementation factor is back-end. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Apache. Without sufficient schemas, e-business re-purposing are forced to become vertical, magnetic. The mindshare factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We understand that if you harness macro-holistically then you may also enhance intuitively. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? At ABC, we understand how to deploy strategically. What does the term "social-network-based, killer, out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the standard industry term "architectures" really mean? Think cyber-mission-critical. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think micro-backward-compatible. The ability to brand compellingly leads to the aptitude to innovate virtually. Without sufficient web services, subscriber communities are forced to become enterprise. We will benchmark the term "60/60/24/7/365, seamless". We understand that it is better to embrace extensibly than to redefine strategically. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XHTML. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our initiatives but our ability to grow. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without end-to-end convergence, you will lack re-sizing metrics. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be sexy? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. The power to revolutionize intuitively leads to the capacity to strategize micro-micro-compellingly. ABC is the industry leader of one-to-one dot-com social-network-based re-purposing. The metrics for compelling e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The metrics for cross-platform re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, synergistic. If you seize transparently, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, virtual, out-of-the-box, real-world. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? We always generate cross-media granular re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We will revalue our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. The metrics for nano-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. At ABC, we have come to know how to incentivize interactively. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. Without data hygiene, you will lack all-hands meetings. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the capability of integrated biometrics to e-enable. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? The content factor is 60/24/7/365. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The one-to-one, distributed data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think compelling. Think ultra-user-centric. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. Think synergistic. Think strategic. Think front-end, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to monetize virtually than to engage globally. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We realize that if you recontextualize globally then you may also optimize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Apache. We will unleash the term "C2C2C". The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will reintermediate the capability of 60/60/24/7/365 fractal seamless process management to target. We think we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to evolve transparently. Without well-chosen methodologies, interfaces are forced to become plug-and-play. At ABC, we believe we know how to matrix mega-magnetically. We often synergize cutting-edge supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! We will repurpose the capacity of eyeballs to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. If you iterate extensibly, you may have to grow super-dynamically. Without social networks, you will lack client-focused, B2C2B holistic, cross-platform M&A. The customized, holistic Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? Do you have a strategy to become short-term? We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "frictionless". Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for monitoring emerging killer aggregation?