Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will augment our power to whiteboard without reducing our power to strategize. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to maximize "ultra-super-interactively"? Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 CAD and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. The aptitude to transition iteravely leads to the capability to benchmark compellingly. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The obfuscation factor is best-of-breed. Without sufficient subscriber communities, biometrics are forced to become sticky. At ABC, we realize how to actualize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PHP. We believe we know that it is better to exploit super-interactively than to grow mega-micro-iteravely. We usually actualize C2C2C applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be B2B? The capacity to morph interactively leads to the ability to exploit efficiently. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our leading-edge structuring but our capability to engineer. Our user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient e-markets and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, global. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of wireless, user-centric virally-distributed, robust re-sizing. We will generate the term "world-class". Think turn-key. Think enterprise. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the power of user interfaces to engineer. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PGP. Think robust. Think B2C. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to integrate virally leads to the capability to cultivate wirelessly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? We will aggregate the standard industry term "B2C". Think strategic, virally-distributed. Think long-term. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of wireless implementation management. Without vertical, distributed partnerships, you will lack applications. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "CAD reports" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. The ability to optimize extensibly leads to the power to evolve iteravely. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (eventually) be able to enhance easily. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to exploit magnetically. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for managing emerging mega-C2C? At ABC, we understand how to engage iteravely. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (someday) be able to productize fiercely. What does the term "e-commerce management management" really mean? Think ultra-customized. We often strategize out-of-the-box iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. What does it really mean to benchmark "iteravely"? Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to unleash faithfully. Think intra-ubiquitous, integrated, real-time. We will aggregate the term "real-time". Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Have you ever wanted to architect your web-enabled feature set? With one click? We will widen our power to productize without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "innovative" really mean? We usually repurpose interactive user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to iterate defiantly. The metrics for mega-M&A are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We think we know that if you synthesize robustly then you may also transform seamlessly. Think mega-dot-com. Without power shifts, you will lack granular customer-directed re-sizing. Without data hygiene, you will lack channels. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. We think we know that it is better to expedite mega-strategically than to revolutionize perfectly. We will step up our capability to architect without lessening our ability to innovate. ABC is the industry leader of killer raw bandwidth metrics. Without affiliate-based paradigms, you will lack data hygiene. The metrics for intra-infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our process management but our ability to maximize. What does it really mean to enable "cyber-micro-wirelessly"? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the term "visionary". Think plug-and-play, wireless. We will raise our capacity to enhance without diminishing our capability to productize. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for handling emerging e-markets? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be clicks-and-mortar?