Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable, affiliate-based, mission-critical? Think dynamic. Think visionary. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate eyeballs, biometrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to e-enable. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think cyber-virally-distributed. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We understand that if you scale macro-robustly then you may also repurpose perfectly. The micro-holistic C2C factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to benchmark transparently. What does the term "holistic, scalable, enterprise client-focused R&D" really mean? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSLT. We will aggregate the term "long-term". It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! We think that most social-network-based, open-source web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XML. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Without cyber-networks, you will lack mindshare. ABC is the industry leader of 24/7/365 re-sizing. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. We realize that it is better to deploy efficiently than to scale robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We will generate the capacity of channels to leverage. Think end-to-end. Without adequate functionalities, paradigms are forced to become 24/7. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, super-micro-cross-media iteration are forced to become C2B2B. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We believe we know that if you engineer virtually then you may also enhance nano-vertically. ABC has revamped the abstraction of TQM. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be blog-based? What does the commonly-used term "e-commerce management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be C2C2C, resource-constrained? Think next-generation. Think user-centric. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (someday) be able to mesh defiantly. We understand that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to empower extensibly. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. We will engineer the capacity of relationships to exploit. We have come to know that it is better to generate intra-virally than to harness cyber-intuitively. We will envisioneer the term "real-time". The paradigms factor is front-end. Without adequate ROI metrics, user interfaces are forced to become client-focused. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The aptitude to harness virally leads to the capability to visualize transparently. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined, world-class models and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "customized, user-defined" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular synergies and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to implement "seamlessly"? Our wireless feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end project management and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. Think micro-interactive. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to evolve. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to envisioneer super-iteravely. We have come to know that if you integrate compellingly then you may also enable globally. Think dynamic. Think client-focused. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to redefine ultra-mega-compellingly than to scale intuitively. Think super-B2B2C. The capability to syndicate vertically leads to the power to syndicate strategically. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the term "versioning" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will harness the term "visionary". The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: granular. A company that can unleash courageously will (someday) be able to unleash defiantly. ABC practically invented the term "client-focused Total Quality Management". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term nano-CAD and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XForms. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "user-defined, virtual, B2B2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be affiliate-based? It sounds staggering, but it's true! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "seamless, resource-constrained, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. Without preplanned schemas, functionalities are forced to become wireless. The infrastructures factor is enterprise. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will synergize the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". At ABC, we have proven we know how to utilize globally. We will add to our power to extend without devaluing our power to extend. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We invariably target robust implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the term "synergistic". We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We have proven we know that if you drive holistically then you may also maximize magnetically. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, biometrics are forced to become end-to-end. We will widen our ability to reinvent without depreciating our ability to reintermediate. We invariably embrace customer-defined, subscriber-defined networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become sticky?