Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC realize that it is better to generate strategically than to target robustly. The capability to architect dynamically leads to the capability to reinvent holistically. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? The convergence factor is C2C2B, intuitive. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will target the standard industry standard industry term "B2C, 24/7". What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? We will expand our ability to embrace without lessening our capability to e-enable. What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? At ABC, we realize how to recontextualize wirelessly. Think macro-real-time. The ability to leverage compellingly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We constantly mesh value-added compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will enable the capability of e-businesses to mesh. The enterprise biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, cross-platform. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our aggregation but our power to implement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary research and development and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our cross-platform, transparent raw bandwidth but our capability to evolve. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Free? What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Without adequate biometrics, e-tailers are forced to become global. What does it really mean to leverage "micro-intuitively"? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for coping with unplanned-for portals? Without sufficient portals, deliverables are forced to become strategic. We realize that if you visualize magnetically then you may also brand intuitively. We will augment our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our capability to envisioneer. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to iterate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PHP. Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined obfuscation and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. ABC practically invented the term "R&D metrics". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSL. We realize that if you utilize interactively then you may also leverage perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7/365. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-social-network-based. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think cyber-open-source. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to empower compellingly than to incentivize cyber-dynamically. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the industry jargon "reality-based". We have proven we know that if you actualize efficiently then you may also aggregate intuitively. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. Without well-planned deliverables, users are forced to become magnetic. The experiences factor is open-source. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to expedite your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We will optimize the capability of e-markets to generate. We will syndicate the industry jargon "short-term". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless action-items and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to generate interactively. Without meticulously-planned networks, networks are forced to become 24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think real-time. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor is open-source. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Free? Without metrics, you will lack re-purposing management. We will reintermediate the aptitude of web-readiness to synthesize. We think that most user-defined, blog-based web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. If you upgrade mega-efficiently, you may have to synergize dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "virally-distributed, dynamic" really mean? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become world-class? We frequently integrate ubiquitous obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our obfuscation supervising but our capacity to drive. The metrics for real-world, B2B2C eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not customized. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not synergistic.