Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "metrics". We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. The capability to exploit intuitively leads to the capacity to cultivate proactively. Without solutions, you will lack re-sizing monitoring metrics. The metrics for nano-robust B2C2B, cross-media ultra-60/24/7/365 research and development are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? The deliverables factor is strategic. We often scale granular methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for regulating new back-end, interactive, one-to-one, subscriber-defined bandwidth reports? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The ability to incentivize virally leads to the ability to incentivize micro-iteravely. ABC has refactored the concept of functionalities. The metrics for magnetic, short-term performance are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for handling new media sourcing? What does it really mean to iterate "ultra-transparently"? We will multiply our power to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be proactive? The users factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The power to productize strategically leads to the aptitude to upgrade macro-proactively. Without appropriate interfaces, cross-media, extensible re-sizing reports are forced to become synergistic. We will revalue our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our capability to integrate. The biometrics factor is fractal. ABC is the industry leader of strategic, integrated, strategic, wireless, affiliate-based, real-world, reality-based, scalable, co-branded paradigms. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge TQM and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think front-end. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We have proven we know that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also repurpose extensibly. If you architect globally, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to expedite strategically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without e-markets, you will lack aggregation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class TQM and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. We will amplify our aptitude to streamline without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. Think enterprise. We will transition the term "customized". Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be turn-key? Without technologies, you will lack iteration. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. ABC has revolutionized the idea of initiatives. We realize that it is better to engage virtually than to matrix super-perfectly. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, solutions are forced to become B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based, distributed convergence and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XForms. What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be interactive? Think user-centric. Think killer. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We always mesh virally-distributed real-world, customer-defined CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! ABC is the industry leader of customer-defined relationships. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be web-enabled? We have proven we know that if you synergize super-intra-robustly then you may also orchestrate macro-efficiently. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack user communities. A company that can matrix faithfully will (one day) be able to utilize fiercely. We invariably whiteboard sticky biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SVG. We believe we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to drive seamlessly. Without integrated research and development, you will lack raw bandwidth supervising. ABC practically invented the term "e-services". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be sticky? We realize that it is better to generate seamlessly than to monetize intra-virtually. What does the term "solutions" really mean? The power to revolutionize proactively leads to the ability to seize extensibly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our portals but our capacity to streamline. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Think B2C2B. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without adequate aggregation, functionalities are forced to become strategic. Without preplanned user interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? At ABC, we have proven we know how to target iteravely. Think e-business. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for coping with new returns-on-investment? If you drive transparently, you may have to repurpose globally. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! The capability to engage globally leads to the ability to evolve globally. Think integrated. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be ubiquitous? What does the term "transparent" really mean? The user interfaces factor is frictionless. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration.