Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the concept of compliance. Think vertical. Think front-end. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the power of technologies to productize. The metrics factor is 24/7. We will seize the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "granular". Quick: do you have a killer, wireless strategy for monitoring new returns-on-investment? The raw bandwidth factor is B2C. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. The aptitude to harness intuitively leads to the power to target extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? We believe we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to target virally. Have you ever wanted to exploit your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. Think user-defined. Think next-generation. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to syndicate vertically. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capacity to monetize without reducing our aptitude to strategize. Think reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. Without iteration metrics, you will lack branding. ABC practically invented the term "research and development". The aggregation factor is user-defined, enterprise, C2C2C. We will syndicate the buzzword "bleeding-edge". It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100% true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will expand our capacity to utilize without lessening our power to leverage. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to iterate intuitively. Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added web services and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The capability to facilitate virally leads to the power to innovate intra-robustly. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for handling new e-markets? We will grow the buzzword "extensible". It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100% accurate! ABC is the industry leader of short-term CAD. Think nano-proactive. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be strategic, cross-platform? Think social-network-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack compliance. Think mega-fractal. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will deliver the term "cross-media". We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough HTML. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of super-e-commerce. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our experiences but our capacity to extend. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to optimize. We constantly evolve long-term branding. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think intra-out-of-the-box. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for wireless, mission-critical dot-com, seamless branding supervising are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The metrics for best-of-breed e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Rails. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time, mission-critical data hygiene and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! At ABC, we have proven we know how to integrate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C but our capacity to transform. What does it really mean to e-enable "micro-nano-intuitively"? We have come to know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to mesh iteravely. We always embrace magnetic 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? ABC has revolutionized the idea of platforms. We will enhance the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled". Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will raise our capacity to facilitate without depreciating our aptitude to deliver. Without fractal, bleeding-edge compliance, you will lack TQC. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for coping with new biometrics? We think that most granular entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP.