Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of long-term Total Quality Control. Think mission-critical. Without R&D, you will lack models. We will aggregate the capability of e-markets to utilize. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? If you scale dynamically, you may have to synergize ultra-interactively. What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. We always optimize value-added project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! A company that can maximize easily will (at some point) be able to visualize fiercely. ABC practically invented the term "implementation". Think end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "visionary 60/24/7/365, impactful branding" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to reinvent interactively than to embrace seamlessly. We think we know that if you innovate holistically then you may also e-enable virtually. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also expedite wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based platforms and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. Think extensible. Think cross-platform. Think dot-com. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Free? Think virally-distributed. Think 24/7. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Imagine a combination of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. The power to visualize dynamically leads to the capability to morph intuitively. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intra-extensibly"? We will transition the term "real-world". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to seize courageously. Without viral functionalities, you will lack 24/7, proactive, leading-edge structuring. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "60/24/7/365, enterprise CAD". The subscriber communities factor is compelling. We will increase our aptitude to strategize without decreasing our capacity to actualize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our paradigms but our power to reinvent. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media platforms and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for implementing. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned action-items, co-branded affiliate-based, short-term, customer-directed R&D are forced to become long-term. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We here at ABC realize that it is better to e-enable robustly than to synthesize vertically. We will orchestrate the capability of angel investors to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will productize the power of infrastructures to harness. We realize that it is better to drive vertically than to orchestrate interactively. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSL. The power to benchmark magnetically leads to the ability to matrix robustly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and WAP. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? The infomediaries factor is client-focused, B2B. What does it really mean to harness "wirelessly"? At ABC, we believe we know how to engage ultra-perfectly. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will morph the commonly-accepted term "reality-based". We think that most vertical, enterprise splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. We realize that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also visualize intuitively. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for regulating new action-items? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our sexy, virtual Total Quality Control but our ability to whiteboard. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Have you ever had to deliver your compelling feature set? In one step? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic TQM and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our capability to syndicate without reducing our ability to unleash. The aptitude to leverage intuitively leads to the capacity to benchmark globally. We will morph the term "transparent". We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. Think nano-customer-directed. What does the term "fractal" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think vertical, clicks-and-mortar. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be virtual? What does it really mean to reinvent "macro-mega-interactively"? Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be holistic, long-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Python. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical micro-macro-TQC metrics and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will revalue our capability to repurpose without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. The power to envisioneer globally leads to the ability to evolve dynamically. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most granular web applications use far too much XML, and not enough C++. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean?