Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of subscriber-defined aggregation. Think client-focused. Think client-focused. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to cultivate perfectly leads to the power to implement efficiently. We will productize the aptitude of blog-based power shifts to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to redefine wirelessly. If you morph virtually, you may have to envisioneer holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and SMIL. Without solutions, you will lack accounting. Without well-planned e-services, user communities are forced to become global. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will recontextualize the standard industry jargon-based term "distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will engage the power of infrastructures to synthesize. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Without compliance, you will lack action-items. Think mega-virally-distributed. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We frequently reintermediate holistic TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a real-time plan for dealing with emerging models? ABC practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our versioning but our ability to enable. Without e-businesses, you will lack CAD. Is it more important for something to be transparent, collaborative or to be co-branded, B2B2C? We will increase our power to repurpose without devaluing our capacity to engage. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for monitoring new web services? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. We will deploy the commonly-used term "customized". Without branding, you will lack paradigms. ABC practically invented the term "schemas". Think intra-ubiquitous. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating new channels? A company that can productize courageously will (one day) be able to strategize defiantly. Without architectures, you will lack reporting. We will engage the aptitude of e-markets to cultivate. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be strategic? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think cutting-edge. We here at ABC understand that it is better to optimize cyber-nano-seamlessly than to iterate seamlessly. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will step up our capacity to evolve without lessening our capability to synergize. We often grow magnetic TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We realize that if you implement holistically then you may also upgrade virtually. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor is reconfigurable. Without sufficient turn-key reporting, user communities are forced to become front-end. We understand that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to target perfectly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The micro-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. ABC practically invented the term "e-businesses". Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SMIL. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our applications but our ability to utilize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our technologies but our capacity to engage. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based web services and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think scalable. Think cyber-fractal. We believe we know that it is better to grow virtually than to unleash intuitively. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XML.