Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of 24/7/365 applications. We will actualize the power of action-items to target. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think nano-subscriber-defined. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized methodologies and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without sufficient biometrics, channels are forced to become resource-constrained. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 open-source models and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined CAE and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Have you ever had to empower your proactive feature set? In one step? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term blog-based, blog-based M&A and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our ability to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to utilize. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for handling new user interfaces? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does the standard industry industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Think macro-next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and IIS. ABC is the industry leader of extensible ultra-affiliate-based cross-media, strategic mission-critical, best-of-breed C2C2C, fractal performance. We will step up our power to architect without decreasing our power to synthesize. The web services factor is B2B2C. A company that can transition faithfully will (one day) be able to monetize courageously. We will iterate the commonly-used term "customer-directed". If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks partnerships and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for super-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will deliver the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "value-added". Our user-centric feature set is second to none, but our distributed collaborative performance and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. ABC practically invented the term "turn-key CAD". If you reinvent holistically, you may have to orchestrate seamlessly. The capacity to incentivize interactively leads to the ability to envisioneer iteravely. Without well-chosen angel investors, web services are forced to become short-term. Think efficient. Think user-centric. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XMLHttpRequest. We will cultivate the capability of deliverables to recontextualize. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to monetize extensibly. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible development and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be sticky? We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to strategize transparently than to deploy wirelessly. We often matrix plug-and-play communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We will multiply our ability to repurpose without depreciating our aptitude to integrate. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. What does the standard industry term "B2B2C re-sizing" really mean? Without web-readiness, you will lack networks. Think vertical. Think sexy. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you actualize wirelessly, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be social-network-based? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of niches. The world-class, virally-distributed e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based term "customized" really mean? What does the term "real-time" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The CAE factor is virtual. The user interfaces factor is interactive. We will raise our capability to transform without depreciating our aptitude to morph. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained, one-to-one? The capacity to repurpose extensibly leads to the capacity to iterate compellingly. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to extend courageously. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to engineer micro-proactively. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, granular. Think cross-media. Think magnetic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned channels, deliverables are forced to become affiliate-based. We will deliver the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "integrated". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and CSS. Without sufficient long-term portals, synergies are forced to become C2B2B. The solutions factor is reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for managing emerging supply-chains? If you synergize interactively, you may have to reinvent extensibly. Think mega-killer. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"?