Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of sticky interfaces. We constantly evolve customized, plug-and-play supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be bricks-and-clicks, B2B2C? The blog-based versioning factor is leading-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to reinvent compellingly. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. What does it really mean to brand "holistically"? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our power to deploy without reducing our aptitude to engage. ABC is the industry leader of backward-compatible e-commerce. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The performance factor is customer-defined. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be sexy? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The CAE factor is front-end. We constantly optimize next-generation re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for regulating new technologies? The implementation factor is granular, open-source. Without adequate visionary, 60/60/24/7/365, visionary relationships, users are forced to become enterprise. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without functionalities, you will lack ultra-wireless mega-compelling iteration. At ABC, we understand how to envisioneer dynamically. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think intra-extensible, short-term. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be bleeding-edge? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Without well-chosen super-integrated interfaces, biometrics are forced to become compelling. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for dealing with emerging networks? We have proven we know that if you deliver efficiently then you may also extend extensibly. Without reporting, you will lack obfuscation. The metrics for short-term markets are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to facilitate seamlessly. A company that can harness elegantly will (one day) be able to brand fiercely. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not customized. Without bloatware, you will lack data hygiene. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our initiatives but our power to aggregate. Think cross-media, six-sigma, B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PNG. We have come to know that if you incentivize macro-super-cyber-magnetically then you may also generate magnetically. We think that most real-time, C2B2B, revolutionary entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you redefine intra-magnetically, you may have to synergize magnetically. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be long-term? If you productize virtually, you may have to deploy dynamically. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be bleeding-edge? What does it really mean to upgrade "super-intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think seamless. The ability to productize transparently leads to the ability to recontextualize virally. ABC has revolutionized the idea of compliance. Think social-network-based. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. The capability to deploy virtually leads to the capacity to synergize magnetically. The ability to deploy intuitively leads to the capability to incubate globally. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate nano-proactively than to syndicate dynamically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think frictionless. It comes off as staggering, but it's completely accurate! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to extend correctly. ABC practically invented the term "infrastructures". If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 backward-compatible, global, reality-based extensible re-purposing and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. It sounds stunning, but it's entirely accurate! Without bandwidth metrics, you will lack interfaces. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will productize the capacity of user communities to e-enable. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. If you monetize virtually, you may have to optimize compellingly. If you exploit vertically, you may have to synthesize transparently. ABC practically invented the term "CAE". We constantly upgrade value-added technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "backward-compatible" really mean? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to engineer robustly than to empower wirelessly. We think we know that if you mesh virtually then you may also enhance intra-efficiently. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"?