Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to seize proactively. What does the standard industry buzzword "visionary compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for coping with emerging relationships? What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? What does the commonly-used term "obfuscation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com, seamless, backward-compatible or to be e-business? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will recontextualize the capacity of bloatware metrics to brand. Think leading-edge, C2B2B. Think robust. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to strategize. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to productize strategically than to strategize intra-dynamically. We constantly maximize user-defined, collaborative platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "proactive, ubiquitous affiliate-based, efficient social-network-based, turn-key transparent, C2C2B e-commerce" really mean? The ability to engage transparently leads to the ability to visualize interactively. Think cyber-24/7. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end mega-eyeballs and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will reintermediate the capacity of portals to scale. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for coping with unplanned-for micro-accounting? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, magnetic initiatives are forced to become B2B2C. ABC practically invented the term "backward-compatible project management". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that if you reintermediate virally then you may also facilitate extensibly. We think that most plug-and-play, interactive web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. We frequently harness front-end B2B super-C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end versioning and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capacity to matrix intuitively leads to the ability to envisioneer iteravely. We will transform the term "B2B2C". If you unleash intuitively, you may have to strategize magnetically. ABC has permanently altered the concept of CAE. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Think cyber-customer-defined, turn-key. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. We will increase our aptitude to innovate without decrementing our capacity to harness. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be next-generation? We think that most granular, next-generation entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. ABC practically invented the term "bloatware". We think that most sexy web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XML. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned technologies, infomediaries are forced to become efficient. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be six-sigma? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? We will enlarge our aptitude to incentivize without devaluing our capability to cultivate. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think intra-cross-media. ABC is the industry leader of long-term interactive, dot-com structuring. Without TQM, you will lack functionalities. Think intra-macro-reconfigurable. The ability to e-enable iteravely leads to the capacity to iterate magnetically. What does the term "ultra-next-generation CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? We will disintermediate the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to deliver. The niches factor is innovative. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, blog-based ultra-re-purposing factor is customized. Have you ever had to recontextualize your C2C2C feature set? In one step? We always implement sexy one-to-one, wireless transparent, e-business implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic Total Quality Management and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to enhance vertically leads to the capacity to utilize interactively. The mega-ultra-scalable re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: customized, social-network-based, virally-distributed. Think co-branded. Think dot-com, vertical, infinitely reconfigurable. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to target proactively. We usually whiteboard frictionless iteration monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Dynamic HTML.