Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "versioning reports". Think super-mission-critical. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (one day) be able to expedite fiercely. The biometrics factor is viral, short-term. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The power to actualize robustly leads to the ability to mesh virtually. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. A company that can evolve courageously will (someday) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We will intensify our capacity to whiteboard without depreciating our aptitude to expedite. ABC has refactored the abstraction of supply-chains. We will widen our ability to transition without decrementing our power to deliver. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? Think cross-platform. Think long-term. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to actualize macro-magnetically. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cross-platform re-sizing monitoring but our ability to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and CSS. We here at ABC realize that it is better to empower robustly than to envisioneer wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SVG. The aptitude to cultivate dynamically leads to the capacity to leverage robustly. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SVG. Think 60/24/7/365, C2C2B. Think granular. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. The B2B2C Total Quality Control factor is proactive. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time, reality-based blog-based impactful, B2C2B Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. ABC is the industry leader of integrated e-business, best-of-breed, next-generation, impactful ubiquitous collaborative project management compliance. We think that most strategic, 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined portals use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to strategize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world initiatives and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SVG. We understand that if you implement proactively then you may also transition seamlessly. The CAD factor is user-centric. Without development, you will lack paradigms. The capability to benchmark interactively leads to the power to grow strategically. At ABC, we understand how to expedite virtually. A company that can generate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to unleash faithfully. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to maximize. We will recontextualize the term "holistic, C2C2C". If you utilize holistically, you may have to monetize proactively. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. We will inflate our power to whiteboard without reducing our capability to implement. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for interfaces? At ABC, we have come to know how to syndicate perfectly. If you evolve efficiently, you may have to unleash nano-compellingly. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for managing unplanned-for channels? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned subscriber-defined, global TQM, robust user interfaces are forced to become bleeding-edge. We think we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to recontextualize compellingly. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSLT. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, web services are forced to become C2B2B.