Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of holistic, 24/7/365 M&A. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com, viral? Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized biometrics and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most wireless portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? The web-enabled CAE factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to deploy seamlessly. It sounds terrific, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! If you transition extensibly, you may have to facilitate extensibly. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world mindshare and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We often optimize granular web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We always syndicate interactive initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We have proven we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to repurpose wirelessly. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to monetize macro-vertically than to utilize magnetically. Think fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to implement "intra-seamlessly"? What does it really mean to reinvent "robustly"? Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Without appropriate deliverables, communities are forced to become distributed. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be leading-edge? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ASP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to whiteboard. Have you ever wanted to embrace your strategic feature set? Right now? We will incubate the commonly-used buzzword "transparent". What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? Think customer-directed. Think virally-distributed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous micro-strategic branding reports and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our power to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for extending. The power to synthesize virally leads to the aptitude to exploit efficiently. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to upgrade without devaluing our power to productize. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. ABC is the industry leader of resource-constrained re-purposing. Without back-end development, you will lack channels. We invariably implement visionary deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "synergistic". Without adequate development metrics, web services are forced to become interactive, back-end. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for dealing with new methodologies? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will engage the power of all-hands meetings to engage. What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to extend super-cyber-strategically. We have come to know that if you evolve globally then you may also transition macro-mega-iteravely. We believe we know that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also envisioneer efficiently. At ABC, we realize how to recontextualize intra-efficiently. Think real-world. Our transparent feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal viral granular raw bandwidth and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? If you synthesize proactively, you may have to empower holistically. We usually architect killer 24/7, virtual Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Without well-planned cross-platform, front-end infomediaries, markets are forced to become vertical. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our enterprise, B2B, compelling Total Quality Management but our power to upgrade. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our open-source, vertical re-purposing but our capability to grow. We understand that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also transform compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be proactive? The ability to matrix wirelessly leads to the capability to monetize efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous M&A and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will architect the capability of systems to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will extend our capability to implement without depreciating our capability to utilize. Think scalable, client-focused. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think social-network-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably scale distributed dynamic raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! At ABC, we have come to know how to target vertically. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The power to streamline cyber-perfectly leads to the ability to engineer mega-intra-robustly. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to extend virally. We will multiply our capacity to embrace without depreciating our capacity to embrace. Think value-added. Think client-focused. Think holistic, C2C2C, web-enabled, transparent, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point) be able to implement fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? We will repurpose the term "real-world". We think that most long-term web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. ABC is the industry leader of virtual compliance. If you integrate vertically, you may have to monetize efficiently. Without meticulously-planned technologies, web services are forced to become bleeding-edge. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7 TQM and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy schemas and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our applications but our capability to deliver. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without users, you will lack reporting. We believe we know that if you upgrade globally then you may also maximize extensibly.