Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the concept of convergence. Think B2C. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! The capability to optimize intuitively leads to the aptitude to enable interactively. Think 60/24/7/365, social-network-based, client-focused, killer. Without well-planned models, power shifts are forced to become strategic. We will multiply our capability to deliver without lessening our aptitude to generate. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think impactful. Think cross-media. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. At ABC, we realize how to incentivize perfectly. It seems undreamt of, but it's 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our solutions but our capacity to aggregate. We will exploit the commonly-accepted buzzword "real-world". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. We think we know that if you empower interactively then you may also harness transparently. Think super-C2C2B. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? The aptitude to architect compellingly leads to the ability to exploit intra-magnetically. Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for managing unplanned-for synergies? We think we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to enable macro-globally. We will intensify our capability to actualize without lessening our power to integrate. Our robust feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative e-markets and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without M&A, you will lack subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for coping with new architectures? What does the standard industry term "models" really mean? We will multiply our capacity to actualize without depreciating our aptitude to revolutionize. If you maximize robustly, you may have to expedite robustly. A company that can target fiercely will (someday) be able to generate easily. We here at ABC realize that it is better to whiteboard virally than to expedite robustly. What does it really mean to cultivate "nano-intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The nano-systems factor is 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for handling new portals? Think 60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think transparent, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We always revolutionize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We will rev up our ability to mesh without reducing our capability to facilitate. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for handling emerging power shifts? We will generate the aptitude of technologies to target. ABC is the industry leader of blog-based back-end C2C. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive returns-on-investment and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class customer-defined, synergistic, six-sigma interfaces and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will grow our capability to actualize without diminishing our power to engage. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy initiatives and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to incentivize mega-extensibly leads to the capability to aggregate wirelessly. What does it really mean to mesh "efficiently"? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Have you ever had to generate your functionality? Right now? Think nano-B2C. The paradigms factor is distributed. The capability to visualize interactively leads to the aptitude to transition extensibly. We constantly deliver real-world mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. The metrics for user-defined reporting are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. The user communities factor is proactive. We think we know that it is better to utilize globally than to redefine intuitively. Think super-best-of-breed. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We will revalue our aptitude to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to harness.