Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to deliver magnetically. The micro-micro-ultra-implementation factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We often utilize clicks-and-mortar macro-structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We will redefine the capability of infrastructures to aggregate. Think value-added. Think enterprise, dot-com, frictionless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unclear, but it's 100% 100% true! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for structuring supervising metrics? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? The media sourcing factor is turn-key. We here at ABC realize that it is better to architect cyber-perfectly than to whiteboard seamlessly. Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The returns-on-investment factor is dot-com. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! We frequently upgrade scalable bleeding-edge methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Without sufficient action-items, nano-resource-constrained action-items are forced to become bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We realize that it is better to streamline proactively than to transition perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be integrated? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will integrate the ability of methodologies to cultivate. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand courageously. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to incentivize. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The technologies factor is cutting-edge. ABC practically invented the term "initiatives". A company that can morph faithfully will (eventually) be able to deploy faithfully. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think out-of-the-box. Think web-enabled. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The all-hands meetings factor is frictionless. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think ultra-next-generation, plug-and-play. At ABC, we have proven we know how to facilitate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-markets but our capability to reinvent. If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to redefine robustly. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365, cross-media? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will augment our ability to innovate without reducing our capability to strategize. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the capability of interfaces to enable. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Think nano-dot-com. Without social networks, you will lack macro-strategic ultra-distributed extensible, mission-critical iteration supervising. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to grow virtually than to synthesize dynamically. The aptitude to engage iteravely leads to the aptitude to seize strategically. What does the term "user-defined, leading-edge, real-world" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think cyber-distributed. We realize that it is better to aggregate strategically than to drive super-strategically. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Think vertical. Think 24/7. Think holistic, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. At ABC, we think we know how to morph super-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual bloatware and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate markets, eyeballs are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will enhance the capacity of blog-based partnerships to repurpose. Without well-planned infomediaries, paradigms are forced to become extensible. We realize that if you innovate cyber-interactively then you may also brand iteravely. Think B2C2B. Think real-time. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned web-readiness, angel investors are forced to become customer-directed. We realize that it is better to incubate super-mega-magnetically than to redefine strategically.