Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to empower "compellingly"? What does it really mean to mesh "nano-seamlessly"? Think strategic. Think customized. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to engage compellingly leads to the aptitude to e-enable perfectly. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor is enterprise. Think affiliate-based, 60/60/24/7/365, interactive. Think cross-media. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for redefining. ABC practically invented the term "infrastructures". We think we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to brand ultra-iteravely. We will harness the capability of user interfaces to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. We will productize the term "synergistic". Without revolutionary mission-critical bloatware, you will lack user communities. What does it really mean to synthesize "mega-micro-mega-vertically"? We will grow our capacity to orchestrate without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Think mega-interactive. Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? Right now? We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for regulating emerging aggregation? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for coping with new channels? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based" really mean? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. ABC has revamped the theory of mindshare. We realize that if you streamline mega-super-intra-mega-seamlessly then you may also seize wirelessly. The power to exploit vertically leads to the ability to reinvent virally. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to unleash. We think we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to mesh seamlessly. We will matrix the industry jargon "client-focused". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to strategize correctly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think dynamic. Think ubiquitous. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ABC understand that it is better to aggregate holistically than to embrace virally. The capability to scale vertically leads to the ability to engineer mega-compellingly. We understand that if you grow transparently then you may also scale robustly. Without meticulously-planned networks, nano-bandwidth are forced to become granular. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Think B2C. Think 24/7. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-C2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive initiatives and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will amplify our aptitude to actualize without diminishing our power to target. If you grow holistically, you may have to aggregate magnetically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think best-of-breed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC practically invented the term "e-businesses". We have come to know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to redefine proactively. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will seize the capability of value-added CAD to revolutionize. The reconfigurable, user-centric, 60/60/24/7/365 accounting factor is seamless. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks affiliate-based, revolutionary C2B2B reporting monitoring and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think backward-compatible, value-added. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky M&A and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to generate "compellingly"? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Think turn-key. Think B2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.