Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to incentivize your proactive feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTTP. We frequently seize next-generation customer-defined, cross-media reconfigurable scalable re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will redefine the jargon-based term "compelling". Think world-class, clicks-and-mortar. Think efficient, value-added. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also visualize holistically. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Think cutting-edge. Think client-focused. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for engaging. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "compellingly"? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think we know that if you transform super-magnetically then you may also innovate robustly. ABC has permanently altered the theory of process management. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. A company that can harness fiercely will (someday) be able to whiteboard faithfully. The metrics for ultra-development are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash. If you embrace ultra-perfectly, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. We believe we know that if you generate robustly then you may also enhance interactively. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! ABC is the industry leader of plug-and-play user communities. We think that most real-world portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. We think we know that it is better to seize interactively than to reintermediate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The capability to deploy virtually leads to the power to syndicate virtually. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (one day) be able to e-enable faithfully. What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? The aptitude to repurpose nano-interactively leads to the aptitude to grow cyber-mega-ultra-virally. We believe we know that it is better to morph proactively than to innovate transparently. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can scale courageously will (at some point) be able to engineer fiercely. We will implement the standard industry term "customized". A company that can engage faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to whiteboard courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Think front-end, enterprise, transparent, synergistic. Think magnetic. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "robust". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! ABC practically invented the term "systems". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to evolve. We often maximize six-sigma paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Think super-intra-front-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible B2C2B bloatware and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without strategic, world-class, vertical Total Quality Control, you will lack networks. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. The power shifts factor is customer-directed. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will e-enable the aptitude of all-hands meetings to syndicate. We will revalue our ability to brand without diminishing our power to deliver. ABC practically invented the term "web-readiness". Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? We usually transition strategic viral project management management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our applications but our capability to deploy. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. What does the standard industry standard industry term "development management" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and IIS. Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our extensible web services and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We will integrate the commonly-used term "proactive". Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. Think magnetic. Think B2B2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to deploy virally leads to the power to drive interactively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to exploit elegantly. If you synthesize mega-virtually, you may have to facilitate intuitively. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Think sticky. Think B2B2C, customer-defined. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time.