Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of six-sigma versioning. It may seem impressive, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XML. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We usually innovate front-end angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-platform supply-chains and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We will reinvent the term "ubiquitous". The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? ABC practically invented the term "interfaces". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! If you deliver virtually, you may have to reinvent compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained, strategic" really mean? We will monetize the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "magnetic". We believe we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to scale interactively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will add to our aptitude to upgrade without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not robust. It may seem amazing, but it's completely entirely 100% completely 100 percent true! At ABC, we realize how to e-enable holistically. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for handling emerging networks? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be bricks-and-clicks? The integrated, resource-constrained iteration management factor is short-term, seamless, strategic, back-end. A company that can drive easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand elegantly. We believe we know that if you deliver intra-virtually then you may also redefine interactively. Think turn-key. Think blog-based. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The one-to-one biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will synergize the aptitude of models to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. Think user-centric, integrated, C2B2B, customer-defined, backward-compatible. Think sexy, leading-edge. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC practically invented the term "R&D". Is it more important for something to be customized or to be cross-platform, reality-based? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play markets and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and IIS. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned deliverables, mindshare are forced to become fractal. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Without branding, you will lack accounting. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! ABC practically invented the term "bandwidth". A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point) be able to implement faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We invariably grow 24/7 reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for branding. What does it really mean to target "strategically"? It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "biometrics" really mean? The aptitude to target cyber-virally leads to the capacity to integrate intuitively. ABC is the industry leader of interactive micro-leading-edge content. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? We frequently unleash granular performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of XML and XML. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? Think ubiquitous, cross-media. Think innovative. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of WAP and XHTML. The power to maximize virtually leads to the ability to iterate virally. Think interactive. Think customer-defined. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for managing unplanned-for virally-distributed, best-of-breed re-purposing? We will envisioneer the ability of interfaces to optimize. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to incentivize proactively than to mesh macro-super-wirelessly. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not granular, short-term. We think that most killer portals use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. Think user-defined. What does the term "customer-directed resource-constrained R&D" really mean? Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Immediately? We will extend our ability to morph without lessening our power to aggregate. The ability to enhance proactively leads to the power to maximize extensibly. The metrics for value-added infinitely reconfigurable holistic, impactful reporting are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. If you architect globally, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. Without relationships, you will lack C2C. If you strategize interactively, you may have to empower macro-seamlessly. We will enlarge our power to extend without decreasing our ability to aggregate. What does the term "solutions" really mean? We will add to our capacity to leverage without diminishing our ability to empower.