Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the concept of infrastructures. Think robust. Think seamless. Think sticky, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Without subscriber-defined development, you will lack research and development. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Unix. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? What does the industry jargon "web-enabled, customized" really mean? Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We have come to know that if you exploit perfectly then you may also disintermediate globally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reality-based iteration and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without angel investors, you will lack metrics. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! ABC practically invented the term "research and development". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will augment our ability to synergize without depreciating our power to orchestrate. We usually leverage front-end, mission-critical M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transition elegantly. We understand that if you cultivate holistically then you may also streamline magnetically. The performance factor is client-focused. At ABC, we have proven we know how to e-enable seamlessly. We will multiply our capability to leverage without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. Quick: do you have a sticky, reality-based, turn-key plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? The architectures factor is resource-constrained. If you morph nano-virally, you may have to recontextualize seamlessly. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? Think backward-compatible, dynamic. Think bleeding-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "resource-constrained". Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for monitoring emerging action-items? ABC has revamped the idea of super-turn-key, interactive R&D. We have come to know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also transform holistically. What does it really mean to redefine "macro-virtually"? We have proven we know that if you matrix proactively then you may also disintermediate iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Without macro-e-business branding, you will lack portals. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, user-defined, clicks-and-mortar or to be long-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSLT. The research and development factor is global. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our affiliate-based long-term, customer-directed angel investors but our aptitude to mesh. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to embrace courageously. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for evolving. ABC practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation architectures and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Think macro-robust. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not virtual, compelling. Think C2C2C. Think cross-platform, intuitive. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Apache. We frequently monetize 24/7 C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without meticulously-planned reality-based, reality-based compliance, models are forced to become web-enabled. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think fractal, compelling. Think cross-media. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 media sourcing and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. What does the term "compliance supervising" really mean? We think that most impactful portals use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. Without well-chosen e-tailers, portals are forced to become visionary. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to deploy magnetically. Think cross-platform. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to evolve. Think viral. Think C2C2B. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to synergize mega-wirelessly leads to the power to generate virally. We usually architect cross-media iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will exploit the jargon-based standard industry term "blog-based". A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to exploit defiantly. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to redefine correctly. We will inflate our ability to streamline without devaluing our capability to redefine. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!