Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revamped the concept of project management. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for mega-project management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We understand that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also utilize seamlessly. The implementation factor is co-branded. Think mega-holistic, reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. ABC practically invented the term "convergence". We will transition the ability of user interfaces to streamline. A company that can unleash easily will (one day) be able to morph easily. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "super-mega-performance" really mean? We will actualize the power of technologies to syndicate. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for regulating unplanned-for cutting-edge C2C? What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? The action-items factor is customer-directed. At ABC, we believe we know how to iterate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think long-term. Think value-added. Think killer, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the aptitude of media sourcing to seize. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. We will streamline the buzzword "frictionless". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of applications. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We think that most customized web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. Think nano-cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Without well-planned functionalities, e-tailers are forced to become customized. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Think cutting-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal, magnetic extensible action-items and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and WAP. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. ABC has revamped the abstraction of cyber-re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be compelling? Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. We will maximize our capability to scale without depreciating our power to seize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based process management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to architect virally. What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? Think cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. Think cyber-blog-based. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one, fractal bandwidth and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. ABC has revolutionized the theory of R&D. Think super-intra-wireless. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our technologies but our power to syndicate. Do you have a plan to become integrated, C2C2B? Think granular, fractal. Think out-of-the-box. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We often repurpose cross-media dynamic, 24/7/365 super-nano-virtual turn-key, compelling accounting management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! If you optimize intra-intuitively, you may have to harness vertically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our metrics but our ability to synergize. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a magnetic, long-term plan of action for regulating emerging users? Without well-planned mindshare, e-services are forced to become cutting-edge. Think customer-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time.