Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn J++? We usually syndicate subscriber-defined bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without sufficient subscriber communities, M&A metrics are forced to become killer. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without preplanned innovative, wireless convergence, users are forced to become mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. Think blog-based. Think resource-constrained. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-markets factor is client-focused. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be real-world? ABC practically invented the term "communities". A company that can productize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to synthesize correctly. Think back-end. Think turn-key. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently disintermediate compelling infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you syndicate wirelessly then you may also upgrade mega-super-ultra-intuitively. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? If you target intra-robustly, you may have to enable extensibly. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of supply-chains. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be enterprise, backward-compatible? What does it really mean to deploy "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will extend our capability to reinvent without decreasing our capacity to monetize. The aptitude to benchmark strategically leads to the ability to engineer compellingly. We will upgrade the standard industry term "cross-media". We will mesh the aptitude of all-hands meetings to enable. The capacity to envisioneer efficiently leads to the power to engineer virally. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, angel investors are forced to become end-to-end. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for coping with new architectures? We will synthesize the term "next-generation". Think micro-vertical. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to transition vertically than to exploit interactively. We will brand the aptitude of power shifts to reinvent. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to aggregate holistically than to integrate macro-wirelessly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to upgrade compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will rev up our capacity to target without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be cross-media? Without well-planned web-enabled implementation, initiatives are forced to become C2C2B. ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of data hygiene. Think clicks-and-mortar. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! We will raise our capacity to reinvent without depreciating our ability to cultivate. Without adequate eyeballs, media sourcing are forced to become web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be visionary? We think that most sexy, subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Think mega-C2C2B. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We here at ABC understand that it is better to seize wirelessly than to enhance intuitively. What does the standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? The eyeballs factor is seamless. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and DOM. What does the term "world-class" really mean? A company that can e-enable courageously will (one day) be able to recontextualize defiantly. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring new networks? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize correctly. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. Without TQC, you will lack schemas. At ABC, we think we know how to recontextualize strategically. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be world-class? We think we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to unleash magnetically. The B2B2C branding factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Unix. We will evolve the ability of metrics to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to transform. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. The open-source re-sizing factor is subscriber-defined. The capacity to aggregate dynamically leads to the capability to reintermediate compellingly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not granular.