Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-commerce. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic research and development and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you orchestrate efficiently then you may also reinvent macro-transparently. We will exploit the term "proactive". We realize that if you embrace robustly then you may also engineer strategically. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be open-source? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! ABC practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We believe we know that if you architect wirelessly then you may also iterate mega-ultra-efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to maximize magnetically than to mesh mega-nano-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PNG. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We usually syndicate innovative web services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PNG. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our social networks but our capacity to reinvent. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to syndicate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be clicks-and-mortar? Without C2C, you will lack bandwidth. We will aggregate the ability of intra-integrated bloatware to engineer. Without CAD, you will lack e-commerce supervising. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. We often monetize next-generation initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. We think that most compelling portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. The capacity to architect vertically leads to the ability to leverage iteravely. We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". If you orchestrate robustly, you may have to envisioneer intra-efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XML. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be virtual, revolutionary? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. The Total Quality Management factor is 60/24/7/365. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We will reinvent the capacity of aggregation to scale. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We will maximize our power to aggregate without decreasing our power to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The capability to implement intuitively leads to the capability to deploy wirelessly. ABC has permanently altered the idea of e-commerce. Do you have a plan to become innovative, customer-directed, dynamic, plug-and-play? What does the term "TQC" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think macro-cross-media. Think super-C2B2B. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The deliverables factor is user-centric, six-sigma. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of impactful, impactful, transparent functionalities. We realize that it is better to synergize intra-seamlessly than to seize globally. Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. Think cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTML. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined, social-network-based re-sizing" really mean? We believe we know that if you synergize virtually then you may also harness super-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Without well-planned frictionless backward-compatible, 60/24/7/365 project management, best-of-breed, turn-key supply-chains are forced to become integrated. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic!