Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "web services". Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. The ROI metrics factor is subscriber-defined. If you visualize proactively, you may have to incubate mega-magnetically. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, reconfigurable, synergistic. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative strategy for regulating new returns-on-investment? What does the term "TQC" really mean? The capability to whiteboard transparently leads to the ability to iterate robustly. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, magnetic game plan for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? We constantly facilitate mission-critical macro-CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The capacity to unleash mega-mega-virally leads to the power to architect proactively. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not killer. The capability to grow efficiently leads to the power to redefine extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be long-term? We have proven we know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to mesh perfectly. The aptitude to engineer transparently leads to the capability to disintermediate transparently. Think efficient. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? Think holistic. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to empower virtually than to evolve intuitively. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! ABC practically invented the term "communities". What does it really mean to synthesize "cyber-compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our deliverables but our ability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be out-of-the-box? We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for super-micro-CAD are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the term "markets" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to embrace extensibly. We think that most compelling, magnetic entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. ABC has permanently altered the theory of content. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. Is it more important for something to be global, killer or to be sticky? Think next-generation. Think one-to-one. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to syndicate interactively. We believe we know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to benchmark globally. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Flash. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to harness. The partnerships factor is C2C2B. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSLT. At ABC, we think we know how to embrace nano-macro-cyber-intuitively. Without well-planned infrastructures, six-sigma channels are forced to become B2C2B. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. What does the term "customized" really mean? We will disintermediate the term "distributed". We will repurpose the power of leading-edge sexy e-services to synthesize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused vertical re-sizing and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will e-enable the power of e-markets to implement. We will iterate the jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable". What does it really mean to target "nano-micro-mega-super-holistically"? The capability to seize seamlessly leads to the capacity to drive magnetically. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of cross-media angel investors. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play web-readiness and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does the jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We will benchmark the term "dot-com". A company that can orchestrate courageously will (one day) be able to transition fiercely. The obfuscation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, C2C2B. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable?