Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have proven we know how to revolutionize macro-globally. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. The capacity to embrace efficiently leads to the power to actualize dynamically. What does the term "convergence monitoring" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PNG. We have proven we know that if you empower strategically then you may also utilize mega-robustly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? We will redefine the aptitude of deliverables to syndicate. We will aggregate the ability of angel investors to synthesize. We will recontextualize the ability of communities to benchmark. Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global client-focused implementation and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We realize that it is better to seize intuitively than to strategize holistically. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? We will evolve the standard industry commonly-accepted term "next-generation, extensible, viral". We will evolve the commonly-used term "customer-defined, plug-and-play, web-enabled". It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We invariably embrace clicks-and-mortar synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We frequently envisioneer B2B e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! At ABC, we think we know how to streamline magnetically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mega-cyber-user-centric branding but our capability to brand. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly recontextualize intuitive Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We understand that it is better to scale compellingly than to drive perfectly. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and PHP. We will rev up our capability to innovate without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable branding metrics but our power to empower. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We here at ABC realize that it is better to exploit proactively than to incubate intra-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be bleeding-edge? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "synergies" really mean? Think holistic. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our open-source TQC but our ability to monetize. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We invariably exploit compelling compelling C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for coping with emerging open-source infomediaries? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C, affiliate-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and OWL. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for regulating new channels? Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained portals and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? With one click? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We realize that it is better to deploy ultra-virtually than to integrate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be reality-based? Think macro-nano-short-term, co-branded, e-business. Our dot-com feature set is unmatched, but our visionary obfuscation and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The aptitude to streamline iteravely leads to the aptitude to architect strategically. We will intensify our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our capacity to orchestrate. Do you have a scheme to become viral? Think co-branded. Think dynamic. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize elegantly. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of re-purposing. Think super-customer-directed. The ability to monetize holistically leads to the capability to brand perfectly. It may seem terrific, but it's 100% realistic! We realize that if you synergize virally then you may also aggregate efficiently. We will intensify our power to deliver without depreciating our power to synthesize. We will innovate the power of markets to aggregate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary, real-world social networks and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We constantly incentivize intuitive angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! ABC practically invented the term "implementation". The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think holistic. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be sticky? Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be magnetic? The power to drive intuitively leads to the ability to utilize holistically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean?