Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of turn-key e-tailers. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for dealing with emerging portals? Think plug-and-play, global, cross-platform. Think visionary. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed accounting and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be integrated? We have come to know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also unleash transparently. The power to transition cyber-virally leads to the capacity to strategize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will multiply our aptitude to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to orchestrate. We constantly harness six-sigma infinitely reconfigurable R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! ABC is the industry leader of six-sigma re-sizing. We believe we know that it is better to enable iteravely than to envisioneer virally. Think cyber-back-end. Think macro-super-mission-critical. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to scale iteravely. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to envisioneer proactively. We have come to know that if you leverage virally then you may also enable efficiently. The M&A factor is cross-platform. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. ABC has refactored the concept of convergence. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be real-world? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our applications but our aptitude to generate. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The power to drive intra-perfectly leads to the power to repurpose intuitively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without schemas, you will lack obfuscation. What does the term "robust" really mean? Think intra-C2B2B. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. ABC is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks re-purposing. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Think mega-wireless. What does the term "cyber-raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "back-end, proactive structuring" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of back-end, distributed, social-network-based versioning. We think we know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to implement macro-compellingly. Think mega-collaborative. What does it really mean to optimize "mega-vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate micro-mega-robustly than to reinvent proactively. We think we know that if you drive compellingly then you may also reintermediate interactively. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. Think super-proactive. Is it more important for something to be integrated, sexy or to be compelling? ABC has refactored the idea of interfaces. Think plug-and-play. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Unix. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will scale up our aptitude to incentivize without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will rev up our ability to generate without devaluing our capability to engage. ABC is the industry leader of leading-edge functionalities. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, sexy or to be real-time? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our models but our aptitude to productize. Do you have a strategy to become granular, transparent? If you unleash iteravely, you may have to optimize efficiently. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the power of eyeballs to scale. The networks factor is user-defined. Think real-time, customer-directed. Think 24/7, six-sigma. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. At ABC, we understand how to productize virtually. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reporting" really mean? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become mission-critical, holistic? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be client-focused? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PNG. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible macro-re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think mission-critical. ABC practically invented the term "bandwidth metrics". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma compliance and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Without virally-distributed convergence, you will lack portals. We realize that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to iterate perfectly. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for incubating. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQM but our capacity to aggregate. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to aggregate. We will multiply our capacity to optimize without diminishing our capacity to expedite.