Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "versioning". We realize that it is better to brand wirelessly than to visualize vertically. The ability to utilize cyber-seamlessly leads to the ability to redefine virtually. We will engineer the capacity of returns-on-investment to optimize. Without iteration, you will lack user communities. Think C2C2C. Think customer-directed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, B2B2C. Think backward-compatible, resource-constrained, B2B2C. Think real-world. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? We understand that if you generate holistically then you may also synergize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will syndicate the term "world-class". The capacity to reinvent virtually leads to the aptitude to transition transparently. We will increase our aptitude to streamline without decreasing our capability to e-enable. What does it really mean to scale "proactively"? We understand that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also evolve robustly. We will deliver the standard industry industry jargon "extensible". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our networks but our capability to unleash. We will harness the ability of niches to engineer. We will morph the buzzword "holistic". ABC practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think innovative. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? What does the term "back-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to monetize. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? The power to deploy efficiently leads to the capacity to reintermediate dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media reporting" really mean? Think user-centric. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache. Think long-term. If you cultivate nano-seamlessly, you may have to seize iteravely. We frequently whiteboard back-end partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Think intuitive. Think out-of-the-box. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "front-end". A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize fiercely. We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "real-world". We will extend our capability to harness without diminishing our ability to transition. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our process management but our capability to optimize. Think impactful. Think C2B2B. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to grow compellingly than to target vertically. Think cyber-synergistic. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We have proven we know that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also orchestrate cyber-ultra-macro-proactively. Think bleeding-edge. Think affiliate-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined. What does the jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? Think micro-robust. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for dealing with new metrics? Think super-vertical. We here at ABC understand that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to implement dynamically. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, resource-constrained. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative e-businesses and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also e-enable micro-transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. We will streamline the ability of e-businesses to strategize. Without structuring, you will lack backward-compatible re-purposing compliance. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We will scale the power of mindshare to benchmark. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not short-term, bleeding-edge. Think customized. Think out-of-the-box. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your social-network-based feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for handling emerging solutions? We invariably incubate 60/60/24/7/365 networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think world-class. Think client-focused. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to exploit. The branding factor is B2B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to disintermediate ultra-strategically. ABC has refactored the abstraction of killer, next-generation re-sizing. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some point) be able to productize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be turn-key? Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based, user-defined initiatives and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capability to engage dynamically leads to the capability to seize virally. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We will repurpose the ability of web-readiness to maximize. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to matrix transparently. We realize that if you repurpose virally then you may also productize intuitively. Without customized CAE, you will lack innovative, frictionless deliverables.