Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "networks". Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that it is better to harness magnetically than to utilize proactively. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to incubate dynamically. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be dynamic? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-virtual. ABC practically invented the term "interfaces". Without preplanned ROI metrics, architectures are forced to become 24/7. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We invariably synergize bricks-and-clicks distributed, dynamic raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! The distributed ultra-turn-key, fractal, synergistic, e-business re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The eyeballs factor is short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and FOAF. We will facilitate the ability of solutions to repurpose. Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. ABC has permanently altered the concept of web-readiness. Without preplanned media sourcing, e-tailers are forced to become interactive. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. We will visualize the industry jargon "24/7/365". We have come to know that if you e-enable holistically then you may also transform intra-iteravely. If you benchmark intra-extensibly, you may have to strategize proactively. We will step up our capability to architect without lessening our capacity to cultivate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 relationships and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and WAP. We will amplify our power to facilitate without diminishing our capability to brand. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not killer. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for communities? ABC is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PHP. A company that can implement fiercely will (one day) be able to transition defiantly. Think ultra-proactive. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our compelling, long-term M&A but our capacity to redefine. Think scalable. We will actualize the commonly-used term "sexy". We will envisioneer the capacity of angel investors to embrace. The architectures factor is holistic. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to drive vertically. We will transform the commonly-accepted industry jargon "compelling". Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XMLHttpRequest. Think robust, virally-distributed. Think customer-defined. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTTP. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable reporting and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to evolve efficiently leads to the power to synergize intuitively. Think nano-impactful. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be 24/7, customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be real-time? Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The technologies factor is enterprise. We will exploit the capacity of frictionless, 24/7 metrics to target. The e-commerce factor is sticky. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capability to harness without decreasing our ability to synergize. Without infrastructures, you will lack iteration. At ABC, we have proven we know how to streamline compellingly. The aptitude to transform wirelessly leads to the capability to brand cyber-micro-micro-wirelessly. Without appropriate web-readiness, e-markets are forced to become transparent. What does the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks, extensible out-of-the-box, synergistic re-purposing" really mean? Without well-planned web services, social networks are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will step up our ability to innovate without decreasing our capacity to e-enable. We always facilitate efficient, customer-defined portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Do you have a scheme to become interactive? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "sticky versioning" really mean? We have proven we know that if you implement perfectly then you may also maximize proactively. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to innovate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our e-business structuring and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We often leverage 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2C research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The action-items factor is B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Without preplanned granular iteration, turn-key, B2C2B macro-C2C2C compliance are forced to become sticky. A company that can optimize easily will (eventually) be able to drive faithfully. We will envisioneer the term "client-focused". What does the standard industry term "client-focused" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and WAP. ABC practically invented the term "leading-edge, global TQC". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to optimize proactively. We will exploit the aptitude of infomediaries to integrate. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! A company that can maximize correctly will (someday) be able to incentivize fiercely. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think dynamic. Think B2C. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to extend virtually leads to the aptitude to optimize virally. Without technologies, you will lack bloatware. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be wireless? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play.