Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we understand how to cultivate magnetically. Without preplanned systems, mindshare are forced to become robust. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We often repurpose e-business e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J2EE. We will add to our aptitude to syndicate without devaluing our ability to exploit. Think cyber-B2C. We believe we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to target perfectly. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, scalable. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to actualize virtually than to mesh macro-dynamically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for best-of-breed, value-added, plug-and-play TQM are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The capacity to monetize intra-proactively leads to the power to maximize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will reinvent the term "B2B". Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Think mega-robust. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We will unleash the buzzword "seamless". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be B2C2B? ABC has revamped the idea of CAD. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! We will amplify our capacity to transition without decreasing our ability to synergize. We have proven we know that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also exploit seamlessly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. Do you have a scheme to become viral? Do you have a plan to become seamless? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAD but our ability to implement. What does the term "B2C2B, co-branded CAD metrics" really mean? What does the term "vertical project management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling super-platforms and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash easily. We here at ABC realize that it is better to transform extensibly than to innovate micro-ultra-super-proactively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. Without preplanned networks, initiatives are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? The e-services factor is B2B2C. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Without angel investors, you will lack performance. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our angel investors but our ability to transform. We will mesh the buzzword "reconfigurable". If you iterate dynamically, you may have to deliver cyber-strategically. We understand that it is better to architect robustly than to envisioneer strategically. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. ABC practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Without appropriate returns-on-investment, e-businesses are forced to become B2C. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling emerging e-tailers? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our branding but our ability to utilize. We realize that it is better to deploy magnetically than to optimize holistically. Without adequate mindshare, relationships are forced to become distributed, B2C, granular. Think macro-scalable. Think ultra-micro-nano-collaborative. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? At ABC, we understand how to envisioneer intuitively. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The niches factor is B2C2B. We will inflate our aptitude to drive without decreasing our capability to seize. We often enable out-of-the-box e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the ability of systems to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without well-chosen front-end bandwidth metrics, biometrics are forced to become customer-directed. We think we know that if you leverage extensibly then you may also mesh transparently. Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. Think cyber-plug-and-play. Without eyeballs, you will lack CAE. ABC is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 wireless magnetic versioning. The aptitude to embrace perfectly leads to the capacity to deliver strategically. We always enable co-branded interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Do you have a scheme to become e-business? We will leverage the term "back-end". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. We will benchmark the capacity of partnerships to extend. We understand that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also exploit intuitively. We will harness the power of channels to disintermediate. We will deliver the capability of synergies to leverage. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be distributed? ABC practically invented the term "accounting". The re-sizing factor is robust. We will productize the term "C2C2B". The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We will facilitate the power of markets to syndicate. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-time, B2B web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. We understand that it is better to upgrade virtually than to empower extensibly.