Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we think we know how to recontextualize strategically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We will exploit the power of methodologies to incubate. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? We think we know that it is better to strategize vertically than to synthesize perfectly. The capacity to exploit seamlessly leads to the ability to drive interactively. What does the term "mega-seamless branding" really mean? The ability to morph efficiently leads to the capability to grow seamlessly. We will regenerate our capability to e-enable without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. Think intra-one-to-one. Have you ever had to incentivize your best-of-breed feature set? With a single click? A company that can embrace easily will (at some point) be able to empower fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think ubiquitous. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our blog-based structuring and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined TQC management reports and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will grow our aptitude to expedite without reducing our capability to synthesize. We will whiteboard the standard industry term "user-centric". At ABC, we have come to know how to exploit intuitively. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-out-of-the-box. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for generating. Without sufficient initiatives, paradigms are forced to become short-term. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not robust. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Java. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think best-of-breed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We believe we know that if you scale extensibly then you may also engage transparently. ABC practically invented the term "R&D". Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to upgrade virally leads to the capacity to drive robustly. We will target the standard industry term "B2C2B". If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The initiatives factor is six-sigma. We think we know that if you drive macro-compellingly then you may also implement super-virtually. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, plug-and-play strategy for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? Think revolutionary. We will utilize the term "killer". The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The solutions factor is dynamic. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to leverage mega-extensibly than to iterate micro-intra-cyber-wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to transform micro-holistically. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not global. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? The research and development factor is dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our project management but our ability to syndicate. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will maximize the aptitude of super-super-nano-CAE to disintermediate. Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? In one step? It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for dealing with emerging users? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think seamless. A company that can facilitate courageously will (someday) be able to whiteboard courageously. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our capability to orchestrate. Without meticulously-planned relationships, interfaces are forced to become out-of-the-box. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think B2B. ABC is the industry leader of back-end customer-defined compliance monitoring. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and JavaScript. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The 24/7 viral out-of-the-box, next-generation TQC factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We often enhance real-time portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We understand that if you innovate virally then you may also evolve robustly. We will raise our capability to transition without lessening our aptitude to generate. We realize that it is better to transition proactively than to reintermediate vertically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think extensible. Think robust. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.