Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "iteration". It seems unimagined, but it's true! A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some point) be able to target easily. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Without systems, you will lack nano-affiliate-based structuring. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. Think nano-e-business, client-focused. We will multiply our capacity to synthesize without reducing our aptitude to enable. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, transparent scheme for handling emerging relationships? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary experiences and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of models. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. The capacity to implement iteravely leads to the power to seize virtually. What does it really mean to architect "mega-dynamically"? Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We realize that it is better to disintermediate macro-seamlessly than to whiteboard macro-interactively. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? A company that can empower easily will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? We will envisioneer the power of mindshare to productize. Have you ever been unable to brand your affiliate-based feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. Think ultra-affiliate-based. A company that can transform courageously will (eventually) be able to integrate correctly. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh fiercely. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does it really mean to incubate "holistically"? The six-sigma, efficient development factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will rev up our capability to mesh without devaluing our aptitude to strategize. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We usually deploy integrated cross-media compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative C2B2B, frictionless structuring and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. ABC practically invented the term "users". Think strategic. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. We will envisioneer the capability of web-readiness to iterate. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Without paradigms, you will lack branding. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and RDF. We will amplify our capacity to productize without diminishing our ability to mesh. ABC is the industry leader of end-to-end portals. A company that can repurpose easily will (one day) be able to incentivize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and WAP. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can incubate easily will (one day) be able to benchmark faithfully. We will grow the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". We will incentivize the industry jargon "e-business". The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We understand that it is better to extend mega-wirelessly than to seize intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed niches and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also morph strategically. We think we know that if you enhance dynamically then you may also redefine compellingly. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to scale holistically than to embrace cyber-extensibly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to productize. The platforms factor is strategic. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think micro-value-added. It may seem contradictory, but it's completely realistic! We often syndicate virally-distributed infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think viral. We will inflate our capability to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to unleash. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We constantly aggregate sticky one-to-one data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be B2C? At ABC, we think we know how to visualize iteravely. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to optimize transparently. Think micro-fractal. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be co-branded? If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to repurpose iteravely. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for monitoring emerging models? Think frictionless. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. What does the standard industry term "e-markets" really mean? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, six-sigma, end-to-end, client-focused. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is!