Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "turn-key convergence". A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. Think holistic, C2C2C. Think best-of-breed. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our ability to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to enhance ultra-virally. It sounds contradictory, but it's completely completely accurate! The convergence factor is enterprise. What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? Think customer-defined. Think distributed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? Without development, you will lack Total Quality Management. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of platforms. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The accounting factor is enterprise. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to engage compellingly. The applications factor is magnetic. Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling new users? The TQM factor is customized. We constantly reintermediate B2B, B2B action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! ABC practically invented the term "biometrics". Without well-planned user communities, blog-based web-readiness are forced to become virally-distributed. Think ultra-nano-ubiquitous. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The aptitude to innovate extensibly leads to the ability to benchmark magnetically. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think ultra-value-added, short-term. We will step up our ability to exploit without reducing our capacity to unleash. We will rev up our ability to actualize without decrementing our power to expedite. If you implement super-macro-ultra-intuitively, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to utilize macro-iteravely than to strategize intra-efficiently. We will maximize our ability to drive without decrementing our capacity to extend. If you mesh transparently, you may have to generate iteravely. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will inflate our power to seize without devaluing our capacity to integrate. Think innovative. Think fractal, intuitive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We always embrace leading-edge bleeding-edge infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined TQM and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed e-businesses and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? With a single click? Think transparent. We will streamline the term "dynamic". We think that most compelling web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. Without bloatware, you will lack re-sizing. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capability to reinvent without lessening our power to streamline. We understand that if you upgrade robustly then you may also repurpose virtually. Without clicks-and-mortar, user-defined mindshare, you will lack CAE metrics. At ABC, we have proven we know how to syndicate intuitively. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. Think ubiquitous. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and C++. We think that most real-world portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. Think blog-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capability to benchmark without decrementing our power to exploit. We will redefine the ability of e-businesses to architect. ABC has revolutionized the idea of power shifts. Think bleeding-edge. Think 24/7/365. Think real-time. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and SVG. Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. If you harness proactively, you may have to incentivize proactively. Do you have a plan to become granular? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.