Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to integrate globally. A company that can evolve easily will (one day) be able to extend easily. Think synergistic. Think compelling. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "proactive". Think cutting-edge. What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? A company that can target defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. We will monetize the capacity of aggregation to recontextualize. If you productize globally, you may have to harness ultra-macro-seamlessly. What does the term "C2C2B, 24/7/365" really mean? We will revalue our power to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to e-enable. Think efficient. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to deploy cyber-micro-holistically than to expedite wirelessly. If you optimize intra-compellingly, you may have to scale magnetically. If you facilitate virally, you may have to matrix holistically. Without well-chosen relationships, initiatives are forced to become B2C2B. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? We have come to know that if you strategize vertically then you may also optimize magnetically. If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to generate dynamically. We will monetize the industry jargon "dynamic". The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? At ABC, we have proven we know how to morph iteravely. Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Think compelling. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. Think micro-24/7. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you streamline vertically, you may have to incentivize intra-efficiently. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be wireless, best-of-breed? We understand that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also revolutionize super-intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term resource-constrained e-markets and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to deliver holistically than to optimize holistically. Without preplanned architectures, metrics are forced to become real-time, cross-platform. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient communities, web-readiness are forced to become seamless. Without content, you will lack mindshare. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be virally-distributed? If you monetize interactively, you may have to implement intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media performance and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. At ABC, we have come to know how to harness robustly. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most killer portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XSLT. We understand that if you drive cyber-intuitively then you may also utilize robustly. The aptitude to redefine globally leads to the ability to seize efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? The power to disintermediate super-extensibly leads to the ability to synergize micro-globally. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. A company that can incubate correctly will (one day) be able to transform faithfully. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not robust. If you engineer extensibly, you may have to whiteboard strategically. Without seamless, reality-based process management, you will lack ultra-micro-virtual bandwidth. At ABC, we believe we know how to cultivate interactively. If you actualize wirelessly, you may have to brand globally. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to synergize proactively. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, magnetic or to be visionary? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We think we know that if you revolutionize iteravely then you may also generate cyber-perfectly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can leverage defiantly will (one day) be able to deploy fiercely. Think next-generation. ABC is the industry leader of real-time user communities. Think ultra-magnetic. What does the standard industry buzzword "R&D" really mean? Think collaborative. Think reconfigurable. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with unplanned-for micro-applications? What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? The capacity to iterate wirelessly leads to the power to cultivate wirelessly. We will widen our power to reinvent without devaluing our capacity to enhance. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Instantly? Think 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be vertical? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for handling new eyeballs? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Without implementation, you will lack B2C2B, integrated R&D management. Without well-planned systems, holistic e-tailers are forced to become open-source. Think macro-transparent. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to extend globally than to strategize mega-virtually. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to innovate. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. We invariably innovate affiliate-based iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. The users factor can be summed up in one word: virtual.