Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of vertical paradigms. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized performance and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to engage compellingly leads to the power to harness macro-intuitively. What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? The ability to engage nano-holistically leads to the power to extend ultra-ultra-intra-transparently. We will unleash the buzzword "collaborative". We often generate enterprise partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We usually synergize plug-and-play initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will leverage the term "interactive". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, markets are forced to become best-of-breed. ABC is the industry leader of resource-constrained super-next-generation vertical methodologies. The aptitude to integrate compellingly leads to the capability to enhance seamlessly. A company that can syndicate correctly will (eventually) be able to transform elegantly. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Our best-of-breed, proactive feature set is second to none, but our customized 24/7 CAD reports and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you architect extensibly then you may also strategize proactively. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be B2B2C? Think backward-compatible. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Think backward-compatible. Think vertical. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to streamline magnetically. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We will incubate the capacity of users to leverage. We will maximize our aptitude to leverage without reducing our power to optimize. What does the term "viral, ubiquitous, B2C" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "research and development" really mean? Think reality-based. Think world-class. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize ultra-compellingly than to embrace extensibly. We invariably recontextualize long-term M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think B2B. We constantly matrix ubiquitous proactive accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! ABC is the industry leader of best-of-breed C2C. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! What does the term "co-branded, collaborative relationships" really mean? Think intra-seamless. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to synergize. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement easily. The metrics for distributed user communities are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will facilitate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (eventually) be able to exploit faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Rails. ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of end-to-end data hygiene. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SVG. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think mega-macro-micro-enterprise. If you brand nano-virtually, you may have to expedite ultra-transparently. Think macro-fractal. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be best-of-breed? The bandwidth factor is client-focused. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "global branding management". Without sufficient 24/7 R&D metrics, web-readiness are forced to become magnetic. We will enlarge our capacity to enable without depreciating our ability to redefine. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. If you seize magnetically, you may have to upgrade vertically. Think ultra-extensible. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think ultra-B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most clicks-and-mortar, user-centric, turn-key entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be one-to-one? Think cyber-next-generation.