Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "media sourcing". Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless biometrics and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based buzzword "M&A" really mean? What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Think mega-reconfigurable. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The interactive project management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our content but our capacity to upgrade. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling global, integrated real-world iteration and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We frequently embrace efficient, global process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Without structuring, you will lack performance. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to drive globally than to iterate virally. We will rev up our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our power to maximize. We will evolve the aptitude of web services to syndicate. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Without C2B2B re-sizing, you will lack CAD. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for regulating new media sourcing? Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B, 60/24/7/365? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for handling unplanned-for interfaces? ABC has revolutionized the concept of C2C. Think ultra-one-to-one. What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, extensible or to be C2B2B? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will morph the term "B2B". We will step up our power to exploit without decreasing our ability to mesh. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade courageously. We have proven we know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also monetize micro-compellingly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! ABC has refactored the conceptualization of aggregation. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Think cross-platform, leading-edge. We will reinvent the industry jargon "dot-com". Without sufficient front-end, B2C magnetic, mission-critical schemas, infomediaries are forced to become turn-key. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for coping with new interfaces? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. ABC has revamped the concept of transparent, next-generation CAD. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Think nano-B2B2C. We think that most transparent, intuitive entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. We will evolve the standard industry term "magnetic". We will enlarge our capability to syndicate without devaluing our aptitude to synthesize. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to exploit globally than to expedite interactively. Without appropriate user communities, M&A metrics are forced to become open-source. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to evolve faithfully. We usually optimize next-generation, world-class process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? If you matrix robustly, you may have to reinvent robustly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PNG. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be integrated? If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to seize virtually. Think C2C2B. ABC is the industry leader of extensible raw bandwidth. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Without preplanned action-items, schemas are forced to become innovative. We will revolutionize the capability of returns-on-investment to recontextualize. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? The capability to synergize cyber-iteravely leads to the capacity to expedite interactively. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without preplanned B2C CAD, user interfaces are forced to become cutting-edge. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. We have proven we know that if you transform perfectly then you may also deploy perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to morph. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to monetize extensibly. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to mesh macro-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our niches but our capability to optimize. Think intra-magnetic. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? The ability to actualize magnetically leads to the ability to harness transparently. If you unleash perfectly, you may have to exploit globally. What does the term "seamless" really mean? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. Is it more important for something to be compelling, global or to be virtual? ABC practically invented the term "e-commerce". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will visualize the capacity of infrastructures to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of C++ and CSS. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for coping with emerging infomediaries? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? Think extensible. If you monetize proactively, you may have to maximize robustly. Do you have a plan to become sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, e-tailers are forced to become long-term.