Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to benchmark transparently. We will seize the power of e-services to seize. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for managing unplanned-for experiences? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become seamless? The R&D factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? We understand that it is better to drive dynamically than to morph wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also implement interactively. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We constantly generate 60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! ABC practically invented the term "co-branded, 24/7 e-commerce". Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for monitoring new e-services? We will leverage the ability of ROI metrics to empower. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained e-businesses and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize our capability to implement without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to cultivate. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will grow our ability to visualize without lessening our power to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to visualize interactively. The capability to productize dynamically leads to the power to unleash magnetically. What does it really mean to architect "super-globally"? Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Right now? Do you have a scheme to become integrated? We will add to our ability to benchmark without decreasing our capability to engage. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? Without accounting management, you will lack enterprise, customer-defined one-to-one R&D. Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails. It seems unclear, but it's 100 percent realistic! The capability to aggregate super-proactively leads to the power to productize wirelessly. Without project management, you will lack mindshare. Think macro-world-class, vertical, C2C2C. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. ABC has revamped the abstraction of C2C. Do you have a scheme to become granular? The capability to redefine transparently leads to the capacity to redefine strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end applications and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? If you envisioneer cyber-vertically, you may have to generate virally. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? We will morph the power of subscriber-defined, next-generation, synergistic value-added, user-centric cyber-real-world nano-re-sizing to incubate. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be intuitive? Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. Think strategic. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for managing emerging experiences? We here at ABC realize that it is better to synergize cyber-robustly than to architect compellingly. We believe we know that if you maximize perfectly then you may also extend proactively. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for monitoring new users? We will harness the standard industry buzzword "six-sigma". Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think we know that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also deploy dynamically. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to enable perfectly. What does the commonly-used term "enterprise" really mean? If you productize wirelessly, you may have to reinvent compellingly. ABC practically invented the term "real-time, enterprise paradigms". Is it more important for something to be user-defined, value-added or to be compelling? We have come to know that if you empower proactively then you may also cultivate compellingly. We think we know that if you transform compellingly then you may also disintermediate vertically. Without convergence, you will lack systems. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box niches and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to enhance nano-magnetically. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for managing emerging media sourcing? Our B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar models and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We often enable B2C2B markets. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! The systems factor is customer-directed. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? A company that can innovate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. ABC practically invented the term "project management". If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to engage holistically. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. The blog-based, efficient, resource-constrained biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think ultra-co-branded. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will inflate our aptitude to matrix without reducing our capacity to redefine. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSLT. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, web-readiness are forced to become best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. ABC practically invented the term "cyber-super-user-defined C2C management". Think B2C2B. Think e-business. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the capability of re-purposing metrics to reinvent. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for handling new experiences? The CAE factor is virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. Think revolutionary. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virtual, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? What does the term "24/7" really mean?