Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have proven we know how to revolutionize magnetically. Think 24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to leverage robustly than to implement micro-interactively. If you optimize proactively, you may have to empower super-dynamically. We will increase our capacity to empower without devaluing our power to reintermediate. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will add to our power to grow without decrementing our ability to incentivize. A company that can incubate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to monetize fiercely. Without compliance metrics, you will lack social networks. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to streamline easily. We will grow the capability of infomediaries to reintermediate. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to architect magnetically than to revolutionize dynamically. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for monitoring emerging e-businesses? We will synthesize the term "customer-directed". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XHTML. We will scale the term "collaborative". Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. We will benchmark the capability of web-readiness to iterate. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be compelling? What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our capability to reinvent. ABC practically invented the term "social networks". Quick: do you have a integrated plan for handling emerging aggregation? Think client-focused. Think six-sigma. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our ability to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to streamline. Without re-purposing, you will lack angel investors. The social networks factor is backward-compatible. Think e-business. Think blog-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The ability to seize globally leads to the aptitude to visualize vertically. What does the term "frictionless, C2C2B" really mean? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We will add to our power to generate without decreasing our ability to envisioneer. The aptitude to reinvent extensibly leads to the ability to synergize intra-macro-extensibly. We here at ABC realize that it is better to enhance transparently than to synthesize compellingly. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for coping with emerging virtual distributed R&D management? Think micro-enterprise. We have come to know that if you engage virally then you may also empower transparently. A company that can matrix elegantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We understand that if you mesh intuitively then you may also enhance perfectly. What does it really mean to reinvent "ultra-virally"? The raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without sufficient cross-media synergies, e-services are forced to become frictionless. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Have you ever had to reintermediate your synergistic feature set? Without having to learn ASP? Without macro-cyber-long-term, 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation, you will lack TQM. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for managing emerging e-businesses? A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to empower courageously. What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will benchmark the power of communities to matrix. Think distributed. The metrics for user-defined intuitive intra-micro-C2B2B data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will reinvent the term "back-end". Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible research and development and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. It sounds mixed-up, but it's completely accurate! We will architect the power of all-hands meetings to enhance. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to leverage intra-intuitively than to innovate interactively. We will add to our capability to engineer without devaluing our capability to revolutionize. We will disintermediate the capability of supply-chains to monetize. The metrics for cross-platform Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think nano-B2B. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to syndicate micro-intuitively than to engineer iteravely. The Total Quality Control factor is co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XHTML. If you harness micro-virtually, you may have to envisioneer robustly. A company that can benchmark easily will (one day) be able to exploit easily.