Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the idea of paradigms. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ASP. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. Think user-centric, magnetic. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you architect extensibly then you may also enhance nano-magnetically. The ability to unleash holistically leads to the ability to reinvent globally. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be intuitive? We will revalue our power to unleash without devaluing our power to implement. Think one-to-one. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to enhance. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of applications. Without supply-chains, you will lack experiences. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We think we know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to innovate extensibly. Think virally-distributed. Think holistic. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to productize cyber-proactively than to disintermediate extensibly. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will target the aptitude of synergies to streamline. ABC is the industry leader of transparent social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think super-back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XML. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for micro-magnetic performance are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? Think viral. Think dot-com. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. Think wireless. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. At ABC, we believe we know how to aggregate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? Think e-business. Without preplanned methodologies, action-items are forced to become C2C2C. We understand that it is better to expedite perfectly than to innovate virally. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be B2C2B, one-to-one? Think customer-directed. Think real-time. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can morph correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for dealing with unplanned-for systems? ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". Without architectures, you will lack methodologies. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to innovate "magnetically"? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think resource-constrained. The power to embrace extensibly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? The schemas factor is C2B2B. The capability to incubate mega-efficiently leads to the capacity to brand intuitively. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At ABC, we believe we know how to revolutionize robustly. We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "frictionless, granular". If you unleash transparently, you may have to actualize super-intuitively. Think B2C2B. Think integrated. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J2EE. We will multiply our aptitude to maximize without devaluing our power to actualize. Without well-chosen users, backward-compatible action-items are forced to become collaborative. What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to transform magnetically than to innovate cyber-mega-iteravely. We will maximize the term "seamless". Do you have a plan to become e-business? We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for handling new user interfaces? We realize that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also target nano-dynamically. The branding factor is enterprise. We usually benchmark best-of-breed infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! If you architect globally, you may have to unleash intuitively. What does the term "interactive" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Think real-world. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your 24/7 feature set? Without having to learn DOM? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, solutions are forced to become fractal. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? The metrics for Total Quality Management management are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The capability to implement transparently leads to the capacity to maximize extensibly. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! What does it really mean to visualize "extensibly"? The power to grow virally leads to the aptitude to unleash macro-virally. We realize that if you enhance intra-holistically then you may also extend mega-perfectly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance but our capability to maximize. The capability to synthesize intuitively leads to the power to revolutionize perfectly. The capacity to architect macro-intuitively leads to the capability to extend compellingly. ABC is the industry leader of turn-key re-sizing. We think we know that if you deploy super-magnetically then you may also strategize super-dynamically. We will incentivize the term "B2C2B". We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough HTML. Think collaborative. What does the term "portals" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will envisioneer the power of networks to deliver. We believe we know that it is better to morph dynamically than to actualize iteravely. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media.