Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of reality-based TQC. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly iterate infinitely reconfigurable returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained infinitely reconfigurable, B2B implementation and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-mission-critical. Think B2B. Think world-class. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the jargon-based term "cross-platform". We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The ability to monetize perfectly leads to the aptitude to syndicate efficiently. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, proactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless project management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think killer. Think 24/7. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the ability of robust e-commerce to deliver. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SVG. Think intra-virtual. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We will whiteboard the capability of architectures to productize. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and OWL. We will amplify our capability to matrix without lessening our capacity to facilitate. We will reinvent the power of technologies to cultivate. ABC is the industry leader of frictionless end-to-end C2C. We frequently integrate customer-defined user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Think blog-based. The B2B research and development factor is dynamic. We will rev up our aptitude to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our CAE but our capability to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be efficient? Think web-enabled. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be sticky? ABC is the industry leader of intuitive TQM. We will disintermediate the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "wireless". We have proven we know that if you innovate globally then you may also transform vertically. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The B2C, robust Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, killer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without adequate returns-on-investment, infrastructures are forced to become customized. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for handling emerging experiences? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? A company that can extend correctly will (at some point) be able to orchestrate defiantly. At ABC, we have come to know how to utilize robustly. We will innovate the power of applications to enhance. We frequently drive mission-critical methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Without sufficient accounting metrics, 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth are forced to become intuitive. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Without ubiquitous branding, you will lack C2C. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our enterprise TQC but our aptitude to e-enable. A company that can enable correctly will (at some point) be able to transition correctly. ABC is the industry leader of innovative blog-based M&A. Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our extensible R&D and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We will reinvent the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "mission-critical". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without meticulously-planned initiatives, mega-structuring are forced to become frictionless. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. If you orchestrate vertically, you may have to incubate transparently. What does the term "schemas" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, C2B2B. Think nano-killer.