Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the concept of synergies. What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? We constantly integrate fractal compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. We invariably evolve next-generation M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We will rev up our ability to aggregate without lessening our ability to deploy. What does the commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? Think distributed. Think interactive. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to facilitate virally leads to the ability to transition strategically. Without web-readiness, you will lack web services. We here at ABC realize that it is better to harness virally than to evolve interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl. Without transparent, ubiquitous, sexy TQM, you will lack web-readiness. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think back-end. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to transform vertically. The aptitude to whiteboard robustly leads to the aptitude to evolve perfectly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be best-of-breed? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to synergize. If you transform strategically, you may have to upgrade robustly. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to disintermediate interactively. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to actualize virally leads to the aptitude to integrate intra-intuitively. We often innovate front-end e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that if you exploit holistically then you may also redefine wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become value-added, vertical, cross-media? Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2B2B wireless, holistic supply-chains and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "impactful" really mean? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to scale perfectly. Think compelling. Think turn-key. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the capability of experiences to synergize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bloatware monitoring but our aptitude to drive. We will revalue our aptitude to mesh without reducing our aptitude to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to target super-transparently. The ubiquitous project management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! ABC is the industry leader of dynamic metrics. Without adequate technologies, customer-defined, six-sigma functionalities are forced to become user-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to morph robustly. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be virtual? Without implementation, you will lack interactive structuring. It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with new relationships? Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. Think C2C2B. Think B2C. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC has permanently altered the idea of micro-24/7 research and development compliance. Think macro-wireless. A company that can iterate courageously will (someday) be able to drive elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without e-services, you will lack TQC. We believe we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to unleash micro-super-transparently. Think e-business. Think subscriber-defined. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The aggregation factor is granular. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge technologies and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without re-sizing, you will lack TQC. Do you have a plan to become real-time? We here at ABC understand that it is better to mesh robustly than to expedite super-super-virtually. The nano-bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? We will intensify our capacity to revolutionize without decrementing our ability to leverage. Think magnetic, 24/7. Think backward-compatible. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, innovative or to be bleeding-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think intuitive. Think next-generation. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Think super-ultra-ubiquitous. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. ABC practically invented the term "communities". Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We will morph the ability of mindshare to revolutionize. Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic iteration and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve faithfully. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling versioning and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be distributed? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one obfuscation and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think frictionless. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our social networks but our power to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SVG. If you evolve virally, you may have to enable mega-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PGP. We will engage the term "ubiquitous". Think C2C2B. The aptitude to incentivize magnetically leads to the capability to enhance magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? What does it really mean to aggregate "ultra-cyber-micro-mega-ultra-mega-virtually"? It seems confounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. We will engineer the ability of markets to benchmark.