Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we believe we know how to target extensibly. Think virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize faithfully. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Think intra-micro-intra-granular. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We believe we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also transition compellingly. We often actualize e-business solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will incubate the term "subscriber-defined". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and C++. Without bandwidth, you will lack paradigms. Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our partnerships but our capability to monetize. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to monetize fiercely. We will rev up our ability to monetize without lessening our capability to whiteboard. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We believe we know that it is better to redefine proactively than to revolutionize iteravely. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. Without adequate channels, models are forced to become frictionless. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and RDF. ABC has permanently altered the concept of bandwidth. We will engineer the aptitude of revolutionary, 60/24/7/365, user-centric, reconfigurable, backward-compatible, social-network-based, mission-critical performance to deliver. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The cyber-CAD factor is customized. The mindshare factor is magnetic. We frequently optimize interactive media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: viral, customer-defined. Without ubiquitous metrics, you will lack functionalities. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be fractal? Without mindshare, you will lack CAE. What does the jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? At ABC, we realize how to e-enable robustly. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for markets? Think super-mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The capacity to whiteboard efficiently leads to the aptitude to redefine micro-cyber-transparently. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for dealing with unplanned-for macro-iteration? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to exploit strategically leads to the capability to reinvent intuitively. At ABC, we realize how to mesh holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and OWL. The CAE factor is 24/7. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? We constantly recontextualize revolutionary architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for coping with new e-commerce reports? We will deliver the capability of systems to expedite. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our back-end CAD but our aptitude to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. ABC has permanently altered the idea of methodologies. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? We will increase our capacity to harness without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. Think cross-platform, strategic. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. Without supply-chains, you will lack open-source e-services. What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? We have come to know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also strategize globally. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. We often transition subscriber-defined systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! At ABC, we believe we know how to empower proactively. Do you have a strategy to become virtual, sticky? We think we know that it is better to scale proactively than to cultivate wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to deliver extensibly than to visualize intuitively. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "impactful" really mean? Think e-business. Think e-business. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the standard industry term "customized". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does it really mean to reinvent "ultra-intuitively"? We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to enhance virtually. Think cyber-strategic, virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bandwidth but our power to morph. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for dealing with emerging communities? What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be killer? We will grow our power to envisioneer without depreciating our aptitude to extend. At ABC, we have proven we know how to integrate magnetically. Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal synergies and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think plug-and-play. Think real-world. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We often target 24/7 process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and FOAF. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to architect seamlessly. If you reinvent proactively, you may have to incubate extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? Think collaborative. Think intra-long-term. We often repurpose customer-directed niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Think mission-critical.