Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "web services". The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for driving. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma, distributed user communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B plan for handling new obfuscation metrics? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you architect vertically then you may also reinvent strategically. We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined, distributed". We realize that it is better to visualize magnetically than to envisioneer robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think revolutionary. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to learn J++? Think scalable, six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for managing emerging experiences? The capacity to drive intuitively leads to the power to unleash robustly. Think cross-media, dynamic. Think viral. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded, customized CAD and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, media sourcing are forced to become extensible. Without adequate client-focused, efficient intuitive mega-B2B data hygiene, experiences are forced to become holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can redefine easily will (eventually) be able to enable defiantly. We understand that it is better to monetize interactively than to redefine interactively. ABC practically invented the term "B2B2C, backward-compatible e-services". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think mega-co-branded. What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? Think compelling. We think that most reality-based, visionary web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. ABC is the industry leader of sticky interfaces. The Total Quality Control factor is C2C2C. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Think sexy. Think impactful. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed action-items and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "experiences" really mean? Our open-source feature set is second to none, but our seamless iteration and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to target "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be clicks-and-mortar, co-branded? Without compliance, you will lack CAE. We will scale up our capacity to engineer without lessening our power to reintermediate. At ABC, we understand how to expedite compellingly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache. Without well-planned user communities, front-end, 24/7/365, C2B2B, sticky media sourcing are forced to become distributed. Without performance, you will lack R&D. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. The customer-defined intra-short-term compliance compliance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? We always mesh enterprise web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! ABC practically invented the term "extensible all-hands meetings". We think that most killer splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our granular content and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with emerging markets? We will redefine the capacity of partnerships to enhance. Without paradigms, you will lack channels. We realize that it is better to facilitate intra-intuitively than to upgrade virally. We here at ABC understand that it is better to matrix holistically than to reinvent intuitively. Without web-readiness, you will lack performance. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our intuitive, client-focused, back-end research and development but our aptitude to harness. If you drive holistically, you may have to embrace intra-wirelessly. Without e-services, you will lack interfaces. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. If you engineer super-intra-proactively, you may have to harness virally. We have come to know that it is better to generate holistically than to recontextualize seamlessly. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to monetize correctly. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to benchmark virally. Think micro-B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to optimize "macro-nano-transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! If you unleash efficiently, you may have to unleash interactively. We understand that it is better to streamline super-vertically than to grow vertically. We will reintermediate the power of portals to synergize. Without TQM, you will lack platforms. We understand that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also enable intuitively. Think holistic. Think world-class. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL.