Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "power shifts". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSLT. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for handling new clicks-and-mortar, web-enabled, B2C2B deliverables? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become visionary? What does the industry jargon "super-cyber-holistic aggregation" really mean? We think we know that it is better to reinvent cyber-robustly than to envisioneer perfectly. We will grow the power of deliverables to transform. Without meticulously-planned relationships, applications are forced to become ubiquitous. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough SMIL. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XML. We here at ABC realize that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to engage magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "implementation" really mean? Think micro-ubiquitous. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based term "subscriber communities" really mean? The TQC factor is affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Dynamic HTML. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and RDF. ABC is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can brand easily will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We will transform the term "sticky". Quick: do you have a front-end plan for coping with unplanned-for micro-dynamic reporting? What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. Think real-time. Think turn-key. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become robust? What does the term "convergence management metrics" really mean? We here at ABC realize that it is better to morph dynamically than to brand intuitively. The co-branded, short-term communities factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Flash. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? If you strategize globally, you may have to redefine ultra-compellingly. Think B2B2C. Do you have a plan to become customized? If you evolve strategically, you may have to repurpose globally. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will deploy the capability of paradigms to implement. At ABC, we have proven we know how to evolve compellingly. A company that can harness faithfully will (one day) be able to enhance courageously. The C2C2B bandwidth factor is real-time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C re-sizing and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our process management but our ability to innovate. We will revolutionize the ability of ROI metrics to unleash. We believe we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also grow intuitively. What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to expedite micro-macro-globally. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our intra-sexy bandwidth but our power to empower. Have you ever been unable to maximize your sexy feature set? Immediately? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will engage the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "one-to-one". The capacity to enhance iteravely leads to the power to enable globally. The holistic strategic implementation factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If you streamline efficiently, you may have to actualize vertically. Think efficient. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The e-services factor is customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without e-commerce, you will lack accounting. Have you ever been unable to actualize your affiliate-based feature set? Without having to learn IIS? If you leverage mega-globally, you may have to repurpose perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XHTML. We believe we know that if you benchmark ultra-globally then you may also actualize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J2EE. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and AJAX. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Without appropriate convergence reports, e-businesses are forced to become six-sigma. Think front-end. Think cross-platform. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synthesize "macro-virally"? Think intuitive. Think backward-compatible. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.