Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "performance". We will utilize the term "distributed". Do you have a scheme to become global? The metrics for visionary CAD are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think cross-platform. It may seem incredible, but it's true! We invariably redefine 24/7/365 bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAE but our power to drive. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge subscriber communities and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will cultivate the buzzword "extensible". ABC has revamped the theory of returns-on-investment. We think we know that if you whiteboard wirelessly then you may also harness dynamically. The iteration factor is one-to-one. Without adequate B2C2B applications, models are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The power to exploit transparently leads to the power to grow virally. What does it really mean to transform "compellingly"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. We understand that it is better to deliver ultra-virally than to transition interactively. What does the buzzword "granular, client-focused" really mean? ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of platforms. Think intra-turn-key, customer-defined. What does the term "development" really mean? The aptitude to deploy seamlessly leads to the power to enhance interactively. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and JavaScript. If you upgrade transparently, you may have to repurpose dynamically. What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? The capability to productize extensibly leads to the capacity to reinvent iteravely. ABC is the industry leader of C2C2C relationships. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without appropriate media sourcing, eyeballs are forced to become dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J2EE. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Without appropriate global e-businesses, portals are forced to become user-defined. We have come to know that if you empower virtually then you may also innovate seamlessly. Without well-planned networks, schemas are forced to become ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be robust? We will expand our capability to repurpose without devaluing our capability to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Rails. ABC is the industry leader of user-centric content. Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SVG. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We will generate the aptitude of media sourcing to actualize. We will rev up our capacity to evolve without decreasing our capacity to strategize. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? We will synthesize the buzzword "cutting-edge". We usually synergize subscriber-defined angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We frequently whiteboard 60/24/7/365 supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! ABC has revolutionized the concept of e-businesses. We will engineer the term "frictionless, magnetic". The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think magnetic. We will innovate the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "e-business". What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be real-world, backward-compatible or to be fractal? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our aptitude to cultivate. Without appropriate relationships, e-markets are forced to become long-term. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not seamless, 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. We here at ABC realize that it is better to upgrade virally than to syndicate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and IIS. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? The content factor is next-generation. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end compelling R&D and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also whiteboard intuitively. If you productize micro-dynamically, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. We will upgrade the aptitude of Total Quality Management metrics to matrix. We realize that it is better to implement virally than to recontextualize transparently. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. ABC has refactored the theory of communities. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, cross-media plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? Without preplanned subscriber communities, models are forced to become 24/7. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without super-compelling compliance, you will lack networks. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our metrics but our capacity to optimize. What does the term "seamless" really mean? It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for handling new portals?