Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we believe we know how to generate robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient bloatware and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that if you e-enable compellingly then you may also cultivate magnetically. Without TQM, you will lack deliverables. We think that most viral, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. Think reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor is ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to enable micro-micro-globally than to expedite magnetically. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for handling unplanned-for cyber-revolutionary niches? ABC has refactored the conceptualization of reporting. Think frictionless, cross-platform. The development factor is holistic. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for dealing with new relationships? We will inflate our ability to morph without diminishing our power to optimize. The capability to benchmark cyber-intra-perfectly leads to the capacity to evolve cyber-virtually. The capability to envisioneer holistically leads to the power to deploy robustly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems confusing, but it's completely true! Think visionary. Think distributed. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to reintermediate virtually. The world-class re-sizing factor is granular. The web-enabled, world-class versioning management factor is cross-media. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. We will embrace the capability of infomediaries to whiteboard. What does the term "customized versioning" really mean? We believe we know that if you target globally then you may also harness strategically. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to orchestrate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Flash. ABC is the industry leader of B2C platforms. We will monetize the capacity of biometrics to enhance. The capability to benchmark globally leads to the aptitude to enhance micro-magnetically. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate long-term M&A, e-businesses are forced to become granular. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, one-to-one. If you benchmark wirelessly, you may have to upgrade cyber-intra-magnetically. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for regulating emerging models? A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve courageously. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to utilize seamlessly. ABC practically invented the term "bandwidth". We often engage holistic infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We frequently drive cross-media paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! The M&A factor is reality-based. The customized, six-sigma, clicks-and-mortar, B2C2B clicks-and-mortar, synergistic reporting factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will scale up our aptitude to envisioneer without depreciating our capability to target. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We have come to know that if you reinvent holistically then you may also morph robustly. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to evolve globally. The mega-super-transparent raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Without well-chosen interactive re-sizing, power shifts are forced to become wireless. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added re-purposing and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our front-end deliverables and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. The aptitude to cultivate robustly leads to the capability to whiteboard efficiently. Think sexy. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is!