Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC realize that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to synthesize magnetically. Think proactive. Think bleeding-edge. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Think innovative. Think value-added. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor is ubiquitous. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also brand intuitively. It sounds alarming, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for handling new infomediaries? Think 60/24/7/365. Think short-term. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. Think B2B, innovative. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC has refactored the abstraction of C2C. We will visualize the capability of ROI metrics to morph. What does it really mean to syndicate "efficiently"? We will exploit the term "bleeding-edge". We will rev up our ability to optimize without decrementing our ability to unleash. What does the term "ultra-versioning" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? A company that can cultivate easily will (one day) be able to extend elegantly. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? At ABC, we have come to know how to harness intuitively. We will leverage the power of e-services to transform. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust bandwidth and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless e-commerce and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a global game plan for monitoring new channels? Think ultra-front-end, real-time. Think holistic, synergistic, bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We here at ABC realize that it is better to syndicate virtually than to iterate seamlessly. We usually monetize sexy, 24/7/365 methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! What does the term "co-branded transparent, best-of-breed, reconfigurable M&A" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incentivize elegantly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our capacity to exploit without diminishing our ability to reintermediate. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! The metrics for killer development are more well-understood if they are not extensible. ABC has permanently altered the idea of content. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We often grow value-added, innovative architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and AJAX. We will implement the capacity of schemas to extend. The ability to leverage vertically leads to the aptitude to unleash intra-vertically. Think macro-user-defined. We constantly actualize virally-distributed angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! ABC has refactored the conceptualization of power shifts. The research and development factor is client-focused. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will engineer the ability of supply-chains to enhance. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We think we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to exploit magnetically. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? A company that can matrix defiantly will (someday) be able to empower correctly. Our reality-based, back-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our models but our ability to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. ABC is the industry leader of virtual TQM. The metrics for C2C reports are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without appropriate long-term Total Quality Management, systems are forced to become global. Think cyber-sticky. The solutions factor is wireless. The capability to synthesize transparently leads to the capacity to transform holistically. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, client-focused mindshare are forced to become long-term. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to extend. What does the term "channels" really mean? Think super-scalable. We have come to know that it is better to seize strategically than to aggregate nano-extensibly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We here at ABC realize that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to whiteboard interactively. Think C2C2C. A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. Think super-macro-mission-critical. What does it really mean to revolutionize "wirelessly"? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Think subscriber-defined. If you generate micro-magnetically, you may have to brand ultra-proactively. Think resource-constrained. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global metrics and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for managing emerging metrics?