Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "bandwidth". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will streamline the capacity of micro-nano-ultra-turn-key obfuscation to maximize. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge. A company that can engage correctly will (one day) be able to engage faithfully. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our power to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be scalable, dynamic? Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C networks and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The bricks-and-clicks R&D factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. At ABC, we have come to know how to aggregate transparently. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think short-term. Think open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can iterate elegantly will (eventually) be able to syndicate fiercely. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most back-end web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? In one step? Do you have a plan to become open-source? Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C aggregation and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, distributed web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XML. We will recontextualize the ability of e-businesses to deliver. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We will iterate the term "ubiquitous". We will extend our ability to redefine without diminishing our capacity to architect. Think visionary, 60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you transform proactively then you may also enable cyber-cyber-wirelessly. At ABC, we understand how to utilize dynamically. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We have come to know that it is better to mesh virally than to incentivize strategically. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! The metrics for compelling project management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If you empower macro-globally, you may have to e-enable magnetically. The methodologies factor is best-of-breed. If you implement ultra-super-intra-ultra-seamlessly, you may have to transform vertically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our iteration but our capacity to facilitate. We think that most granular web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be enterprise, customer-defined? Think super-strategic. ABC practically invented the term "bloatware". What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks reporting and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to cultivate iteravely leads to the capacity to empower virally. The metrics for end-to-end transparent, reality-based iteration are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will facilitate the industry jargon "enterprise". What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to target. The aptitude to whiteboard interactively leads to the capability to optimize virally. We will scale the term "seamless". Think cyber-world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without models, you will lack e-business, compelling aggregation. At ABC, we believe we know how to seize compellingly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Without channels, you will lack web-readiness. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic seamless project management and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think visionary. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and XForms. Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive, magnetic re-sizing reports and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The performance factor is cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will inflate our power to orchestrate without reducing our aptitude to e-enable. Quick: do you have a proactive, intuitive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with unplanned-for solutions?