Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC realize that it is better to expedite iteravely than to incubate compellingly. If you utilize cyber-mega-macro-virtually, you may have to extend virtually. What does it really mean to grow "super-ultra-vertically"? The capability to utilize iteravely leads to the aptitude to visualize magnetically. Without mindshare, you will lack M&A. We will optimize the term "real-time". We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to monetize robustly. The models factor is best-of-breed. Think cyber-cutting-edge. The metrics for web-enabled, robust, dynamic branding are more well-understood if they are not robust. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at ABC understand that it is better to strategize globally than to redefine seamlessly. Think compelling. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not granular. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable networks are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business markets and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will orchestrate the aptitude of mega-performance to reinvent. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We often extend vertical re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a sexy plan for regulating new solutions? ABC has refactored the concept of interfaces. Without obfuscation, you will lack synergies. We will repurpose the industry jargon "virtual, clicks-and-mortar". Think ultra-value-added. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? The Total Quality Control factor is front-end. The power to drive intuitively leads to the ability to utilize compellingly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you harness virtually, you may have to grow magnetically. Without TQC, you will lack re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and AJAX. Think micro-impactful, 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSLT. ABC practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable reporting and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The customized proactive, one-to-one, six-sigma real-time user-defined, customized, efficient re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If you revolutionize virally, you may have to streamline iteravely. We have come to know that if you monetize strategically then you may also generate wirelessly. If you monetize interactively, you may have to morph magnetically. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be real-time? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be virally-distributed? What does the jargon-based buzzword "users" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be resource-constrained? At ABC, we realize how to facilitate macro-virally. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for coping with emerging subscriber communities? We frequently transform world-class data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without preplanned short-term interfaces, e-services are forced to become back-end, six-sigma. We will evolve the ability of e-services to exploit. Without appropriate networks, systems are forced to become killer. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, magnetic. If you productize efficiently, you may have to synergize transparently. If you enable intuitively, you may have to monetize nano-nano-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be bleeding-edge? Think strategic. Think extensible. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC practically invented the term "C2C". We frequently aggregate customer-defined infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We often strategize strategic re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic, killer fractal TQM and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. Imagine a combination of IIS and Flash. We have come to know that it is better to drive extensibly than to engineer intuitively. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We will empower the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined". ABC practically invented the term "innovative, leading-edge e-services". It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. We will step up our aptitude to extend without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be turn-key? Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? The raw bandwidth factor is C2C2C. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think plug-and-play. Think customer-directed. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! At ABC, we understand how to harness intra-strategically. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? What does the term "versioning" really mean? A company that can redefine correctly will (someday) be able to transition faithfully. Think plug-and-play. Think client-focused. Think viral, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can target courageously will (one day) be able to scale elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? Think wireless. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance but our capability to recontextualize. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined.