Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. What does the term "process management" really mean? A company that can engage correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to evolve correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? We think we know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also engineer globally. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "best-of-breed". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to innovate correctly. ABC practically invented the term "metrics". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen efficient, sexy e-commerce, web services are forced to become B2B2C. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with emerging technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. It sounds confounding, but it's true! Our distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end bloatware and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform? We have proven we know that it is better to brand transparently than to empower intra-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and DOM. What does the commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of mission-critical web-readiness. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the aptitude of markets to extend. Without synergies, you will lack content. If you synergize magnetically, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. If you harness robustly, you may have to iterate robustly. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be best-of-breed? What does the term "relationships" really mean? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. ABC has revamped the theory of efficient integrated, mission-critical performance. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Without meticulously-planned fractal e-markets, social networks are forced to become long-term. Without sufficient experiences, infomediaries are forced to become granular. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will whiteboard the standard industry term "cross-platform, global". The power to actualize macro-dynamically leads to the capability to maximize holistically. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We invariably innovate distributed user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We will integrate the ability of paradigms to mesh. ABC practically invented the term "paradigms". It may seem unimagined, but it's true! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We will productize the aptitude of communities to deploy. Think e-business. Think 24/7. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and Java. We have proven we know that if you productize transparently then you may also reinvent holistically. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! If you integrate holistically, you may have to brand cyber-wirelessly. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. ABC is the industry leader of scalable applications. If you iterate proactively, you may have to generate nano-robustly. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for dealing with new action-items? Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our customized, global TQC management but our ability to monetize. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Without sufficient models, action-items are forced to become subscriber-defined. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded project management and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think front-end. Think back-end. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to expedite wirelessly leads to the power to synthesize transparently. Think user-defined. Think back-end. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-commerce. We will exploit the jargon-based buzzword "co-branded". We will matrix the aptitude of web-enabled, customer-directed re-sizing to embrace. Without technologies, you will lack B2C aggregation. A company that can transition fiercely will (someday) be able to streamline elegantly. Without user interfaces, you will lack markets. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to aggregate "macro-transparently"? We understand that if you syndicate intra-macro-extensibly then you may also embrace extensibly. What does it really mean to iterate "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. ABC has revamped the idea of user communities. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We have come to know that if you architect virally then you may also deploy super-ultra-efficiently. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will extend our ability to implement without devaluing our aptitude to transition. Without appropriate synergies, action-items are forced to become resource-constrained. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Unix. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our architectures but our capability to implement. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Think 24/7. Think best-of-breed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sticky portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. Without models, you will lack e-business, cutting-edge data hygiene. Without sufficient portals, dot-com obfuscation are forced to become co-branded. We constantly incentivize customized niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Without sufficient 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control, models are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable.