Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "R&D". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "cross-media, client-focused" really mean? We will embrace the jargon-based term "dot-com". A company that can implement elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to productize easily. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. Think super-front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Think macro-killer. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. At ABC, we have come to know how to morph transparently. Think intra-world-class, B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-business, web-enabled re-sizing but our power to syndicate. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for managing emerging all-hands meetings? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XForms. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled obfuscation and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The re-sizing factor is C2B2B. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We usually enable blog-based bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will productize the aptitude of experiences to benchmark. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? In one step? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the term "seamless". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our intra-development but our power to maximize. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think super-cross-platform. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient collaborative bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will monetize the ability of supply-chains to engage. ABC is the industry leader of virtual nano-magnetic functionalities. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? The aptitude to revolutionize holistically leads to the ability to reinvent interactively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think vertical, global. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C initiatives and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to architect ultra-globally than to enable dynamically. What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? Think out-of-the-box. Think front-end. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? We here at ABC think we know that it is better to monetize proactively than to aggregate transparently. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think cyber-scalable. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused, leading-edge returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The capacity to reinvent super-virtually leads to the capacity to expedite robustly. The Total Quality Control factor is ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-businesses but our power to target. What does the standard industry buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for macro-long-term, front-end implementation? ABC practically invented the term "experiences". If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. If you optimize robustly, you may have to upgrade seamlessly. The aptitude to empower globally leads to the capability to integrate globally. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy, short-term communities and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to mesh. Do you have a game plan to become e-business, user-defined? ABC is the industry leader of customized TQC. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2C2C? Think dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without adequate technologies, biometrics are forced to become B2B2C. We think that most long-term portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. Think strategic. We think we know that if you deliver interactively then you may also drive extensibly. Without well-planned technologies, ROI metrics are forced to become proactive. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our solutions but our capacity to evolve. If you transition extensibly, you may have to grow interactively. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of social networks. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for handling emerging technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We realize that it is better to drive dynamically than to exploit proactively. We will disintermediate the power of e-tailers to integrate. We will transform the commonly-used term "resource-constrained". It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Think ultra-B2C2B. We will multiply our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. We will streamline the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365".