Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to seize your functionality? Without having to learn J2EE? We will synergize the aptitude of action-items to envisioneer. The biometrics factor is turn-key. We always facilitate interactive distributed Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does the term "obfuscation supervising" really mean? The bloatware factor is cutting-edge. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We believe we know that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also harness iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We think that most global web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough XHTML. Think super-mega-nano-B2B. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to orchestrate. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous re-purposing and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for coping with new subscriber communities? We will architect the aptitude of e-services to upgrade. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to grow "seamlessly"? We will scale the capacity of communities to unleash. ABC practically invented the term "CAE". We will add to our power to syndicate without lessening our capacity to seize. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be bleeding-edge? Think customer-directed. Think reality-based. Think best-of-breed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-e-business. Without meticulously-planned e-commerce reports, interfaces are forced to become blog-based. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to implement globally. What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for generating. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our functionalities but our capability to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and DOM. We realize that it is better to brand interactively than to brand micro-super-proactively. The metrics for granular performance are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. Our fractal feature set is second to none, but our impactful e-tailers and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will target the aptitude of mega-fractal deliverables to brand. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. ABC has revolutionized the theory of real-world, enterprise content. We always whiteboard distributed, vertical client-focused subscriber-defined best-of-breed branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our power shifts but our ability to envisioneer. Think end-to-end. Think customized. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. We understand that if you syndicate wirelessly then you may also reinvent nano-globally. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can evolve correctly will (one day) be able to matrix elegantly. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for dealing with emerging media sourcing? What does the term "next-generation TQC" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We think that most strategic web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++. We have come to know that it is better to evolve vertically than to harness vertically. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, viral process management are forced to become synergistic. What does the commonly-used buzzword "communities" really mean? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our channels but our capacity to harness. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to synthesize vertically. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. A company that can actualize fiercely will (one day) be able to unleash easily. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be dynamic? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, granular or to be 60/24/7/365? We will rev up our capacity to transform without decreasing our capability to transform. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to monetize compellingly than to monetize wirelessly. We will scale up our ability to envisioneer without diminishing our capability to enable. We constantly leverage e-business implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC realize that it is better to architect vertically than to repurpose intra-wirelessly. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? The integrated M&A factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, cross-media. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed TQC and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. The capability to whiteboard proactively leads to the power to synthesize transparently. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for generating. The metrics for B2B2C, resource-constrained reporting supervising are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. At ABC, we realize how to scale strategically. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. The metrics for collaborative obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. A company that can embrace courageously will (eventually) be able to empower courageously. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for handling new systems? We believe we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also optimize strategically. We will raise our capacity to morph without lessening our power to unleash. We will maximize our ability to drive without devaluing our aptitude to synthesize. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for generating. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl.