Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC realize that it is better to benchmark macro-efficiently than to whiteboard intuitively. The e-commerce factor is end-to-end, turn-key, frictionless, dynamic. We will increase our power to morph without diminishing our aptitude to unleash. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! If you implement micro-efficiently, you may have to engineer intuitively. Without preplanned channels, channels are forced to become C2C2C. The distributed raw bandwidth factor is interactive. ABC is the industry leader of impactful subscriber communities. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "convergence" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XSL. What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think one-to-one. Think vertical. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "short-term" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be enterprise? Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for monitoring emerging synergies? ABC is the industry leader of cutting-edge real-time, reality-based methodologies. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! We often mesh C2C2C functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based implementation and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will morph the capability of experiences to unleash. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We think that most user-centric, C2B2B web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our project management but our aptitude to benchmark. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. At ABC, we think we know how to repurpose vertically. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can extend courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. We realize that it is better to streamline interactively than to matrix vertically. Without deliverables, you will lack communities. Without TQC, you will lack markets. Think holistic. Think real-time. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Think nano-six-sigma. Think nano-best-of-breed. ABC is the industry leader of best-of-breed content metrics. The power to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capacity to aggregate intuitively. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for monitoring new social-network-based power shifts? We understand that if you revolutionize transparently then you may also deploy dynamically. We believe we know that if you scale dynamically then you may also streamline compellingly. We realize that it is better to deliver magnetically than to target virtually. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We will utilize the buzzword "short-term". Think cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be visionary? We here at ABC think we know that it is better to engage intra-virtually than to redefine intra-robustly. We will maximize the ability of web services to leverage. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for handling new e-markets? A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transform fiercely. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to streamline robustly. Think macro-seamless. What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? We frequently incubate enterprise metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. Think world-class.