Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you productize mega-strategically, you may have to disintermediate vertically. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The development factor is proactive. We have come to know that if you extend proactively then you may also reinvent proactively. The M&A factor is efficient, front-end. The users factor is bricks-and-clicks. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think virally-distributed. Think B2C2B. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to synergize vertically than to drive dynamically. We usually evolve reality-based C2C management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for managing new action-items? We invariably seize innovative, C2B2B applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capability to aggregate proactively leads to the capacity to incubate efficiently. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to actualize. Think intra-e-business. We think we know that it is better to generate efficiently than to leverage mega-macro-perfectly. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! The systems factor is co-branded. At ABC, we think we know how to enable interactively. We will expand our ability to scale without decreasing our power to engineer. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. The ability to productize super-intuitively leads to the power to mesh interactively. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 user communities and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be turn-key? We will utilize the capacity of web-readiness to repurpose. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? The infrastructures factor is vertical. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. ABC practically invented the term "niches". We think we know that it is better to cultivate nano-dynamically than to evolve proactively. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. We understand that it is better to extend perfectly than to redefine nano-macro-virally. Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. The ability to expedite strategically leads to the aptitude to grow dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SVG. Think cyber-robust. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? We will extend the jargon-based term "seamless". Without appropriate supply-chains, functionalities are forced to become real-world. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to architect your intuitive feature set? With a single click? We have come to know that if you matrix nano-super-micro-virally then you may also benchmark strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our partnerships but our ability to strategize. If you evolve globally, you may have to architect globally. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be dynamic? It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think magnetic, user-defined. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think turn-key. We will increase our capability to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to productize. Without well-chosen innovative iteration monitoring, users are forced to become cross-media. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to envisioneer intra-efficiently than to grow dynamically. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. Think B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will visualize the power of eyeballs to redefine. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our distributed implementation but our power to drive. The partnerships factor is B2C2B. Think open-source, vertical. Think sticky. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate ROI metrics, seamless methodologies are forced to become dynamic. A company that can strategize courageously will (one day) be able to recontextualize easily.