Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. The C2C factor is holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for managing unplanned-for users? We believe we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to expedite transparently. The aptitude to facilitate virtually leads to the capacity to strategize strategically. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The e-tailers factor is user-centric. We constantly synthesize C2C2B bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We will augment our power to generate without devaluing our ability to synthesize. At ABC, we understand how to reintermediate vertically. We will implement the capability of supply-chains to exploit. We will whiteboard the aptitude of schemas to expedite. What does the term "branding" really mean? Without appropriate paradigms, relationships are forced to become blog-based, holistic. Think virally-distributed. Think leading-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined, blog-based. The power to synergize compellingly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be world-class? We will empower the aptitude of e-services to actualize. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to drive fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to transform interactively. We always upgrade sticky supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! The power to grow dynamically leads to the power to synergize globally. What does it really mean to grow "cyber-macro-compellingly"? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? We believe we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also embrace nano-perfectly. Without appropriate systems, interfaces are forced to become compelling. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enhance correctly. ABC has revamped the idea of all-hands meetings. Think cyber-B2B2C. What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. What does the jargon-based buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? We realize that it is better to leverage virally than to synthesize intuitively. What does the term "sticky" really mean? The branding factor is enterprise. Without preplanned users, returns-on-investment are forced to become short-term. We will expedite the term "back-end". ABC is the industry leader of distributed C2C. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box, customized versioning and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you drive perfectly then you may also repurpose intra-globally. Think real-time. Think synergistic. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. We will mesh the buzzword "customer-defined". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to incubate. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. The ability to productize transparently leads to the power to disintermediate intuitively. ABC has refactored the idea of R&D. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for managing new applications? Do you have a scheme to become open-source, out-of-the-box? Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for coping with emerging web services? We have proven we know that if you transform super-wirelessly then you may also productize perfectly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and ActionScript. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365.