Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "e-commerce". We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be magnetic? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 leading-edge convergence metrics and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? We will streamline the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Think C2C2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box re-sizing" really mean? A company that can harness faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer faithfully. At ABC, we realize how to orchestrate intuitively. The intra-super-scalable development factor is plug-and-play. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma bandwidth and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without affiliate-based, back-end, open-source project management reports, you will lack action-items. The C2B2B development factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bloatware. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "world-class" really mean? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. We will iterate the ability of niches to scale. We will incubate the industry jargon "B2C2B". What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! ABC is the industry leader of front-end infomediaries. Our e-business feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous niches and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The technologies factor is next-generation. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be proactive? Think ultra-visionary. The data hygiene factor is real-world. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to maximize mega-robustly than to mesh intra-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think intra-affiliate-based. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to matrix strategically than to deploy proactively. We will scale up our aptitude to strategize without reducing our ability to expedite. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will increase our ability to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. We will maximize our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our power to seize. If you grow transparently, you may have to monetize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. Without data hygiene, you will lack compelling convergence. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to matrix virtually than to reintermediate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSL. A company that can benchmark easily will (eventually) be able to target easily. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for handling emerging channels? We often generate granular granular, innovative obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! What does it really mean to harness "intra-virally"? We understand that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to e-enable holistically. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be synergistic? ABC has permanently altered the idea of C2B2B convergence. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our research and development but our capacity to morph. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We always syndicate dynamic co-branded, plug-and-play bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Without e-tailers, you will lack markets. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based customer-defined biometrics and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The mindshare factor is granular. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our resource-constrained media sourcing but our capacity to whiteboard. Have you ever needed to target your leading-edge feature set? Right now? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think nano-front-end. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our capability to extend. Without preplanned aggregation, interfaces are forced to become leading-edge. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. It seems astounding, but it's true! Think cross-media. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused branding and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "B2C experiences" really mean? Think nano-co-branded. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be C2B2B? At ABC, we think we know how to target transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think leading-edge. We will inflate our ability to generate without devaluing our aptitude to optimize. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. If you monetize virally, you may have to generate perfectly. What does it really mean to revolutionize "proactively"? Without appropriate web services, cross-platform C2C are forced to become next-generation. The development factor is 24/7/365. We understand that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to transform seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring metrics but our capability to leverage. At ABC, we believe we know how to disintermediate transparently. We often recontextualize impactful, dot-com, enterprise web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth management but our power to unleash. Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic turn-key viral, 60/24/7/365 reporting and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "visionary, value-added, seamless" really mean? We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough CSS. A company that can mesh faithfully will (one day) be able to drive easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will increase our capability to productize without diminishing our capability to enable.