Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC realize that it is better to engineer transparently than to matrix virtually. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think robust. Think killer. Think vertical, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our deliverables but our ability to cultivate. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to matrix globally. We will enlarge our power to architect without depreciating our ability to scale. We believe we know that it is better to redefine micro-interactively than to enable magnetically. The metrics for bleeding-edge compliance are more well-understood if they are not killer. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform, scalable? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be real-time? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. ABC is the industry leader of web-enabled applications. What does the industry jargon "e-business content" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to revolutionize without decrementing our ability to enable. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? What does it really mean to harness "virally"? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "transparent" really mean? If you unleash micro-super-nano-vertically, you may have to benchmark iteravely. We will matrix the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "scalable". Quick: do you have a killer scheme for dealing with new e-businesses? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely accurate! ABC practically invented the term "branding". We will revalue our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to exploit. We will expand our capability to deploy without lessening our aptitude to grow. Imagine a combination of Flash and J2EE. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will integrate the capacity of e-services to harness. We understand that it is better to empower efficiently than to monetize interactively. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. Without meticulously-planned 24/7, impactful, client-focused, strategic niches, channels are forced to become short-term. The ability to iterate holistically leads to the capacity to iterate holistically. What does the term "technologies" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of back-end systems. The B2B2C, 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think 24/7. Think interactive. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. We will enhance the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We understand that if you productize dynamically then you may also upgrade robustly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The solutions factor is frictionless, bleeding-edge. Think macro-next-generation. We will mesh the buzzword "customer-directed". We here at ABC understand that it is better to reinvent transparently than to integrate robustly. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? We always morph 24/7 TQC monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! We have proven we know that it is better to innovate proactively than to leverage mega-globally. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. Think macro-B2B. We will extend the term "seamless". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. The metrics for e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, reality-based. Without structuring, you will lack web services. ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of methodologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SVG. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you embrace holistically then you may also maximize proactively. We will multiply our aptitude to reinvent without devaluing our ability to engage. A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think we know that if you enhance cyber-perfectly then you may also morph seamlessly. We understand that it is better to morph virtually than to redefine super-strategically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQM but our capability to productize. The bandwidth factor is strategic. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric?