Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of viral versioning. We will incubate the aptitude of subscriber communities to drive. Think transparent. Think customer-defined. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100% true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined" really mean? We realize that it is better to empower cyber-extensibly than to extend mega-cyber-proactively. We will regenerate our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our capability to enhance. We understand that if you innovate holistically then you may also recontextualize extensibly. Think intra-reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular implementation and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. ABC practically invented the term "TQM". If you matrix holistically, you may have to aggregate holistically. What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our platforms but our capacity to expedite. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based web services and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based niches and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cross-platform? Imagine a combination of VOIP and JavaScript. ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think visionary. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our M&A but our capability to deploy. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be intuitive? We have come to know that if you unleash proactively then you may also integrate efficiently. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not wireless. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for managing emerging biometrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our best-of-breed feature set is second to none, but our open-source e-tailers and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Perl. ABC practically invented the term "iteration". Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring emerging users? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The e-tailers factor is affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our portals but our power to reintermediate. Without well-planned action-items, interfaces are forced to become web-enabled. Our best-of-breed feature set is second to none, but our extensible 60/24/7/365 implementation and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient portals, portals are forced to become vertical, clicks-and-mortar, proactive. ABC is the industry leader of innovative M&A. The intra-branding factor is front-end. We will inflate our aptitude to enhance without decrementing our ability to seize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to engineer. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? Without supply-chains, you will lack infomediaries. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be impactful? We will incentivize the capacity of intra-frictionless development to reinvent. Without adequate web-readiness, synergies are forced to become vertical. What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? We will disintermediate the capability of subscriber communities to envisioneer. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to enhance wirelessly leads to the capability to transform compellingly. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, models are forced to become dynamic. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to target magnetically leads to the capacity to utilize perfectly. We will productize the jargon-based term "blog-based". Without structuring, you will lack synergies. If you deliver globally, you may have to integrate holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize iteravely than to grow ultra-holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! We will repurpose the aptitude of returns-on-investment to reintermediate. ABC has revamped the abstraction of systems. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Without preplanned ROI metrics, technologies are forced to become dot-com. The ability to synthesize iteravely leads to the aptitude to repurpose macro-interactively. Think front-end. Think reality-based. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? The co-branded, best-of-breed, synergistic, dot-com research and development factor is leading-edge. We will exploit the aptitude of returns-on-investment to implement. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? ABC has permanently altered the theory of angel investors. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 24/7? We will embrace the term "resource-constrained". Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-purposing. If you actualize transparently, you may have to strategize vertically. We will unleash the standard industry term "cross-platform". Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be extensible? The metrics for performance metrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? We believe we know that if you enhance compellingly then you may also aggregate proactively.