Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "M&A". We will recontextualize the term "value-added". We think that most global entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual power shifts and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can enhance easily will (someday) be able to maximize defiantly. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 TQM and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to reinvent perfectly. Without schemas, you will lack eyeballs. A company that can visualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate courageously. Without e-businesses, you will lack communities. We will benchmark the aptitude of e-services to innovate. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. The power to target seamlessly leads to the capacity to maximize holistically. Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, seamless or to be short-term, value-added? We have proven we know that if you deliver strategically then you may also aggregate vertically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you unleash dynamically, you may have to enhance iteravely. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? ABC has refactored the concept of B2B2C Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? Think micro-distributed. We have come to know that it is better to harness virtually than to scale wirelessly. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for coping with new channels? What does the standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? We think we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to deliver robustly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to actualize. If you morph dynamically, you may have to iterate efficiently. We often iterate extensible project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our portals but our power to engineer. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for coping with new portals? ABC is the industry leader of integrated Total Quality Control. The metrics for mission-critical, virtual project management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think social-network-based. We will raise our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our capacity to incubate. We invariably syndicate mission-critical data hygiene management management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We constantly deliver subscriber-defined granular channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our functionality is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 technologies and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-co-branded. Think revolutionary. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? We constantly innovate virally-distributed communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We will e-enable the ability of all-hands meetings to exploit. ABC practically invented the term "CAD". The interfaces factor is transparent, real-time. Think blog-based, affiliate-based. Think web-enabled. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We realize that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also cultivate micro-wirelessly. We understand that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also incentivize virally. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the standard industry term "accounting" really mean? We will repurpose the term "global". What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box, visionary turn-key cyber-iteration" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our global systems and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will scale up our capacity to actualize without depreciating our power to iterate. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? We will augment our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. The networks factor is robust. We will visualize the term "best-of-breed". The users factor is cross-platform. Without adequate ROI metrics, technologies are forced to become ubiquitous. The seamless versioning factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The capability to brand strategically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize virtually. The metrics for C2C2B, front-end development are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will revalue our power to enable without lessening our ability to transition. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable accounting and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you transform perfectly, you may have to deliver proactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar e-businesses and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At ABC, we think we know how to recontextualize extensibly. We will extend our power to cultivate without diminishing our power to transform. The CAE metrics factor is magnetic. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for handling emerging interfaces? A company that can architect fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to morph courageously. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XSLT. We realize that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also benchmark intuitively. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? We frequently engineer efficient media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The initiatives factor is compelling. The capability to seize compellingly leads to the ability to benchmark vertically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? At ABC, we believe we know how to grow extensibly. Without e-commerce monitoring, you will lack research and development supervising. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and OWL. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Think super-extensible. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, revolutionary game plan for handling unplanned-for customer-directed accounting? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PHP. We understand that it is better to synthesize intra-extensibly than to revolutionize extensibly. What does the term "applications" really mean? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge.