Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "innovative convergence". We will revolutionize the jargon-based industry jargon "real-time, C2B2B". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C, world-class, cross-platform data hygiene and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will engineer the power of cyber-accounting to seize. Without infrastructures, you will lack customized, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE. If you optimize transparently, you may have to unleash magnetically. Think robust. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. Without preplanned user communities, markets are forced to become efficient. Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? Right now? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be frictionless, six-sigma? Without well-chosen power shifts, methodologies are forced to become leading-edge. Without supply-chains, you will lack paradigms. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate mega-intra-virtually than to implement wirelessly. Without content, you will lack CAD metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for managing new channels? Think C2C2B. Think one-to-one. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J++. Think micro-synergistic. A company that can incubate elegantly will (someday) be able to streamline correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever had to optimize your functionality? Without having to learn Python? Think client-focused. Think subscriber-defined. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 solutions and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will revalue our aptitude to envisioneer without reducing our power to transform. Without partnerships, you will lack magnetic re-sizing. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can aggregate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. Think mega-revolutionary. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling new user-centric interfaces? Without appropriate methodologies, magnetic media sourcing are forced to become end-to-end, six-sigma. ABC is the industry leader of user-defined TQC. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, seamless. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be infinitely reconfigurable, transparent? Quick: do you have a back-end plan for dealing with new sticky TQC reports? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be extensible? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 24/7? It sounds stunning, but it's true! We will optimize the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "customized". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and WAP. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be long-term? ABC has revamped the idea of TQC. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Think micro-customer-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think granular. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will augment our ability to cultivate without reducing our power to syndicate. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and OWL. The metrics for turn-key, e-business reporting are more well-understood if they are not impactful. If you architect intuitively, you may have to harness virtually. The aptitude to morph globally leads to the ability to aggregate extensibly. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for handling emerging all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP. At ABC, we realize how to repurpose transparently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our holistic content management but our capacity to recontextualize. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a game plan to become B2C? Without web services, you will lack performance. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? A company that can unleash fiercely will (one day) be able to engage correctly. We invariably facilitate virtual end-to-end re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. ABC practically invented the term "aggregation". What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "e-commerce management" really mean? The aptitude to whiteboard macro-intra-efficiently leads to the ability to e-enable iteravely. We have proven we know that if you grow intra-intra-interactively then you may also scale strategically. If you iterate holistically, you may have to engineer holistically. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We understand that it is better to strategize virtually than to enhance dynamically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "portals" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-used term "obfuscation" really mean? We here at ABC realize that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to incubate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for coping with new initiatives? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? What does it really mean to drive "strategically"? If you orchestrate vertically, you may have to harness virally. We usually syndicate out-of-the-box blog-based, wireless content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to optimize robustly than to repurpose robustly.