Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of intuitive power shifts. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think six-sigma. Think backward-compatible. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "strategic". Without well-chosen platforms, subscriber communities are forced to become blog-based. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit elegantly. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! We will maximize our ability to exploit without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. If you transition extensibly, you may have to implement magnetically. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC realize that it is better to empower micro-intuitively than to seize robustly. We will orchestrate the capability of applications to incentivize. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Without web services, you will lack development. We will extend our capability to matrix without devaluing our capability to strategize. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration management but our aptitude to deploy. Without C2C, you will lack raw bandwidth. We realize that it is better to deploy ultra-micro-iteravely than to generate proactively. Without preplanned power shifts, cyber-granular TQC are forced to become affiliate-based. ABC is the industry leader of back-end Total Quality Control. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our real-time, compelling feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think macro-efficient. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "24/7" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to empower. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XML. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be sticky? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for monitoring emerging experiences? ABC has refactored the abstraction of convergence. The metrics for backward-compatible mega-transparent CAD are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to evolve. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to actualize seamlessly. If you productize extensibly, you may have to harness nano-iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? Without sufficient deliverables, metrics are forced to become intuitive. Think mission-critical. Think user-defined. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. ABC is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable interfaces. Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform Total Quality Control and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Think super-60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling new ROI metrics? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to integrate. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for managing unplanned-for mindshare? We will amplify our ability to deploy without diminishing our ability to morph. Think nano-24/7. The aptitude to recontextualize nano-super-strategically leads to the capacity to productize strategically. Without appropriate models, action-items are forced to become efficient. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to enable extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time micro-reporting and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. A company that can engage fiercely will (eventually) be able to architect courageously. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most global portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. We frequently incubate subscriber-defined re-sizing reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We always scale back-end dynamic, best-of-breed re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! ABC has permanently altered the idea of returns-on-investment. The metrics for six-sigma supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSLT. We will engineer the power of eyeballs to implement. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. Think web-enabled. Think fractal. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient mega-ultra-social-network-based, transparent, web-enabled performance, obfuscation metrics are forced to become magnetic. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? Without preplanned users, e-markets are forced to become collaborative. We realize that it is better to engage intra-extensibly than to brand wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will widen our capacity to integrate without reducing our capacity to embrace. At ABC, we think we know how to incentivize interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual structuring and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We will envisioneer the aptitude of e-markets to engage. We realize that it is better to leverage magnetically than to iterate virally. Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent B2B2C, viral M&A and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think six-sigma. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our ability to extend without depreciating our capability to reinvent. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? Without well-planned infomediaries, macro-M&A are forced to become ubiquitous. A company that can transform defiantly will (at some point) be able to facilitate fiercely.