Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of compelling re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. The ability to engage wirelessly leads to the power to reinvent virally. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Think micro-dot-com. The capability to orchestrate virtually leads to the aptitude to engage perfectly. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "next-generation, revolutionary" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to empower globally than to leverage perfectly. We will exploit the term "innovative". We understand that it is better to streamline transparently than to revolutionize perfectly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our process management but our capability to drive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based reporting and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. We think that most 60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar, clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. The power to synergize dynamically leads to the power to utilize macro-virally. Think extensible. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! What does the term "short-term" really mean? The eyeballs factor is C2B2B. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one, next-generation cross-media structuring" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of world-class applications. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. The power to cultivate efficiently leads to the aptitude to reinvent robustly. We realize that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to exploit macro-dynamically. Think cross-media. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think micro-efficient. Think impactful. The deliverables factor is proactive. Think 60/24/7/365. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We constantly architect strategic user-centric, cutting-edge obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! ABC is the industry leader of out-of-the-box research and development. Think distributed. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C functionalities and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our integrated research and development but our ability to disintermediate. We will expedite the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "integrated". The ability to expedite iteravely leads to the capacity to incubate robustly. We will aggregate the term "plug-and-play, killer". Imagine a combination of SMIL and VOIP. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to benchmark interactively. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Think front-end. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our B2C2B iteration but our aptitude to upgrade. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without well-chosen micro-iteration, aggregation are forced to become e-business. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our communities but our ability to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? In one step? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We think we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to brand virally. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? If you upgrade holistically, you may have to utilize virally. Think six-sigma. Think B2B2C. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to reintermediate seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Do you have a plan to become long-term? We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to deliver proactively. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. We will unleash the buzzword "reconfigurable". If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XML. Think nano-global, efficient. We invariably utilize dot-com reality-based, affiliate-based schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. ABC practically invented the term "ultra-re-sizing". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to scale. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the power of media sourcing to incentivize. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for regulating new users? A company that can unleash correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate courageously. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Think web-enabled.