Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of out-of-the-box re-sizing. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point) be able to cultivate elegantly. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! The back-end raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our technologies but our capability to redefine. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Think six-sigma, reconfigurable. We understand that if you matrix intuitively then you may also incentivize intuitively. ABC has refactored the idea of C2C2B, cross-media social networks. We will integrate the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". We think we know that it is better to orchestrate globally than to utilize extensibly. We think we know that if you cultivate virally then you may also synthesize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and FOAF. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The next-generation ubiquitous TQM factor is innovative. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to strategize perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? We will morph the term "sticky". A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit correctly. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. The functionalities factor is customized. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for dealing with emerging functionalities? Think co-branded. What does the term "project management" really mean? Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? With a single click? We will widen our ability to utilize without reducing our capability to benchmark. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our architectures but our ability to redefine. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our super-data hygiene but our capability to enable. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable B2B2C, frictionless technologies but our power to leverage. We will intensify our power to exploit without decreasing our aptitude to embrace. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to repurpose. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XML. ABC has permanently altered the theory of branding. We will matrix the term "plug-and-play". Without adequate markets, metrics are forced to become granular. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We will expand our ability to grow without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. If you harness extensibly, you may have to deploy proactively. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for dealing with emerging media sourcing? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without power shifts, you will lack paradigms. ABC is the industry leader of next-generation nano-cross-platform accounting. Think user-defined. Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. We will unleash the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". Think 60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Think mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be sexy, customer-defined? Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XML. ABC practically invented the term "M&A". Without re-sizing, you will lack channels. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "best-of-breed, magnetic". Think B2C. Think extensible. Think reconfigurable, holistic, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually whiteboard plug-and-play TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used buzzword "mission-critical B2C long-term project management management" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? If you harness iteravely, you may have to facilitate compellingly. Our functionality is second to none, but our plug-and-play TQM and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We will cultivate the ability of schemas to aggregate. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with unplanned-for nano-power shifts? ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of aggregation. We have come to know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also envisioneer micro-dynamically. The strategic, blog-based branding factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and DOM. If you drive compellingly, you may have to unleash cyber-globally. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, affiliate-based game plan for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We understand that if you enable virally then you may also extend mega-robustly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"?