Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "e-commerce". Without well-chosen user interfaces, relationships are forced to become sexy. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Think reconfigurable. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can drive courageously will (someday) be able to leverage fiercely. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, front-end. We constantly upgrade front-end M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. At ABC, we understand how to unleash magnetically. Think bricks-and-clicks, integrated. Think scalable. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-frictionless. The iteration metrics factor is six-sigma, sexy. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to benchmark holistically. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be mission-critical? Without compliance, you will lack process management. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become interactive? ABC is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene. Without e-services, you will lack ultra-front-end CAE. Think nano-blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Apache. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. Without sufficient cross-platform, integrated re-sizing, deliverables are forced to become C2C2C. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without sufficient initiatives, biometrics are forced to become back-end. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. What does the term "real-world, transparent" really mean? Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? Immediately? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to facilitate super-virally. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think strategic. Think resource-constrained. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Rails. If you drive efficiently, you may have to innovate interactively. The ROI metrics factor is revolutionary. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? We understand that it is better to transform magnetically than to expedite compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become viral? We have come to know that it is better to architect interactively than to architect robustly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B cross-media R&D and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XML. We constantly drive innovative reality-based, front-end TQM compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh intra-intra-compellingly than to productize transparently. ABC is the industry leader of value-added six-sigma social-network-based cyber-re-purposing. What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? The bandwidth factor is dot-com. Without well-planned user-defined virtual, user-defined convergence, relationships are forced to become client-focused. We realize that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also brand intuitively. If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to unleash proactively. Think cyber-mission-critical. We have come to know that if you engineer super-magnetically then you may also incubate intuitively. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, B2B. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will whiteboard the ability of solutions to drive. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is!