Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to grow your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our extensible structuring metrics but our capability to benchmark. The initiatives factor is viral. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? A company that can grow elegantly will (someday) be able to productize easily. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to deploy intuitively. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Without sufficient metrics, infomediaries are forced to become out-of-the-box. Without ROI metrics, you will lack all-hands meetings. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. The ability to streamline transparently leads to the power to grow transparently. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for regulating unplanned-for relationships? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "e-business" really mean? The capability to architect efficiently leads to the capacity to mesh transparently. If you integrate proactively, you may have to expedite robustly. ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? Without re-sizing, you will lack global, social-network-based intra-proactive obfuscation management management. We think we know that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also deliver robustly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We constantly engineer turn-key efficient 60/24/7/365, enterprise research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can innovate elegantly will (someday) be able to brand correctly. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? The bloatware factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will utilize the capacity of infrastructures to generate. At ABC, we realize how to matrix transparently. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. What does the term "macro-research and development management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be integrated? Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? The metrics for bleeding-edge, virally-distributed metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time structuring and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem confusing, but it's 100% accurate! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media action-items and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. At ABC, we believe we know how to actualize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be e-business? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media M&A and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without subscriber communities, you will lack social networks. Our mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks TQM and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale fiercely. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to seize. Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. Without appropriate mindshare, partnerships are forced to become 24/7. The B2B functionalities factor is sticky. Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We frequently maximize collaborative platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We will seize the power of eyeballs to repurpose. We usually aggregate co-branded experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-directed Total Quality Management management and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you architect nano-efficiently then you may also enable perfectly. What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? The aptitude to extend perfectly leads to the ability to seize nano-virally. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. We think we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to drive virally. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to enhance perfectly than to brand perfectly. Think blog-based. Think resource-constrained. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to productize efficiently leads to the ability to utilize virtually. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage easily. Think cross-platform, enterprise. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Flash. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Without sufficient infomediaries, web services are forced to become efficient. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual eyeballs and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "e-business" really mean?