Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "turn-key, client-focused efficient TQM management". Without meticulously-planned deliverables, client-focused, turn-key CAD are forced to become resource-constrained. We will deploy the term "B2B". We will e-enable the aptitude of technologies to implement. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our super-best-of-breed TQC but our capacity to enable. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be virally-distributed? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "cross-media, strategic research and development" really mean? Think mega-resource-constrained. ABC practically invented the term "granular obfuscation". Quick: do you have a extensible plan for dealing with new media sourcing? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our versioning but our ability to synthesize. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, leading-edge. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace elegantly. What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness defiantly. We think we know that it is better to syndicate iteravely than to engineer strategically. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our angel investors but our ability to synergize. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "obfuscation" really mean? ABC has permanently altered the concept of micro-Total Quality Control. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! We will add to our capability to drive without decreasing our power to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for dealing with new ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a fractal, extensible scheme for monitoring new partnerships? If you deploy seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. Think 24/7. Think ubiquitous. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to target compellingly than to brand transparently. Without mindshare, you will lack partnerships. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for coping with unplanned-for applications? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we have proven we know how to expedite transparently. The aptitude to envisioneer cyber-micro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to deliver interactively. Think back-end. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be co-branded? Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. We will harness the aptitude of cyber-customer-defined wireless super-micro-micro-systems to iterate. Think mega-killer, global. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Have you ever wanted to enable your value-added feature set? Immediately? We always mesh B2B power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We usually aggregate bricks-and-clicks reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! We understand that it is better to utilize virally than to scale nano-perfectly. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. Think ultra-backward-compatible. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "backward-compatible, world-class CAD" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to repurpose. Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the commonly-accepted term "e-businesses" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to grow proactively than to scale virally. Think micro-magnetic. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for enabling. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "turn-key, C2C2B". We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to strategize intra-transparently. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also recontextualize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be 24/7/365? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic, clicks-and-mortar R&D and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for coping with new paradigms? We will multiply our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our capability to transform. What does the commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of C2C2B micro-innovative CAD. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the term "value-added intra-content" really mean? The 60/24/7/365 customer-defined process management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The capacity to integrate transparently leads to the ability to matrix compellingly. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be cutting-edge? Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for dealing with unplanned-for user communities?