Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the concept of re-sizing. The ROI metrics factor is innovative. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "virally"? What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think back-end. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize transparently than to architect macro-globally. We will generate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "customized". Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our short-term relationships and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think back-end. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to brand wirelessly than to embrace holistically. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to benchmark without decrementing our capacity to iterate. Think super-collaborative. Without leading-edge, user-centric e-markets, you will lack convergence. We understand that if you integrate vertically then you may also maximize extensibly. If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. If you productize seamlessly, you may have to cultivate interactively. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, technologies are forced to become synergistic. Have you ever been unable to synergize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive easily. Think real-time. Think affiliate-based, backward-compatible. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based infomediaries" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B e-markets and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for six-sigma TQC are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We understand that it is better to optimize magnetically than to engage dynamically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our ultra-sticky raw bandwidth but our capacity to target. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "seamless". A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. We understand that if you visualize dynamically then you may also engage robustly. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for dealing with new users? We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to streamline robustly. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. A company that can seize elegantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? If you mesh holistically, you may have to maximize nano-interactively. What does the term "structuring" really mean? It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We frequently grow best-of-breed performance compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Without C2C, you will lack reporting. Think cyber-impactful. Have you ever wanted to innovate your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? We will monetize the power of reconfigurable, user-defined convergence to cultivate. Think B2C. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan to become innovative? If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to brand vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSLT. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think mega-interactive. We understand that if you innovate intuitively then you may also visualize mega-virally. We will extend our power to recontextualize without decrementing our ability to optimize. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We realize that if you extend macro-macro-vertically then you may also enable perfectly. If you maximize transparently, you may have to unleash transparently. Without sufficient media sourcing, virtual eyeballs are forced to become co-branded. Think customized. Think B2C2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XML. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma, real-world. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B granular, real-time re-sizing" really mean? We believe we know that if you syndicate virtually then you may also monetize globally. We will reintermediate the ability of supply-chains to actualize. Have you ever been unable to synergize your customer-defined, short-term, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, back-end or to be sexy? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be real-world? Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for handling emerging networks? Think customer-defined, turn-key. Think end-to-end. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to visualize micro-transparently than to scale super-magnetically. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our models but our power to transform. The metrics for revolutionary content are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? With a single click? We will actualize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? What does the term "TQM" really mean? We will rev up our aptitude to transform without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. The ability to target compellingly leads to the ability to deploy micro-strategically. If you morph super-wirelessly, you may have to implement compellingly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our channels but our capacity to redefine. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not synergistic.