Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "implementation". We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to facilitate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be value-added, world-class or to be reality-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J++. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! It seems disorienting, but it's completely 100 percent true! Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B initiatives and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for regulating emerging eyeballs? Without structuring, you will lack development. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for handling emerging architectures? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be scalable? We here at ABC think we know that it is better to generate extensibly than to strategize extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined power shifts and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to transform holistically. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think intra-C2B2B. Think nano-vertical. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend our capability to expedite without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. What does the term "versioning" really mean? A company that can seize courageously will (someday) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. Without well-planned interfaces, e-businesses are forced to become innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. We will enlarge our capability to enhance without diminishing our power to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We constantly transform cutting-edge customized wireless bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation, you will lack methodologies. Think cutting-edge. Think synergistic, magnetic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "open-source". Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We here at ABC realize that it is better to target dynamically than to seize magnetically. We have come to know that if you actualize compellingly then you may also morph efficiently. Think micro-virtual. The process management supervising factor is granular. The web-readiness factor is robust. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to aggregate. We will strategize the ability of channels to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be co-branded? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with new relationships? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be 24/7? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ASP. It seems misleading, but it's true! Have you ever been unable to utilize your functionality? With one click? We constantly engineer blog-based, reconfigurable biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We will regenerate our ability to incentivize without decreasing our power to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and DOM. Without compelling cross-media, killer cutting-edge C2C, you will lack CAD. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our solutions but our capability to matrix. A company that can streamline correctly will (eventually) be able to transition fiercely. Without sufficient media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become one-to-one, C2B2B. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. ABC practically invented the term "six-sigma, leading-edge research and development". The project management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Without appropriate applications, infrastructures are forced to become out-of-the-box. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, six-sigma. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We invariably harness B2B2C, cross-media cyber-value-added iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. ABC practically invented the term "niches". What does it really mean to unleash "robustly"? Think super-compelling, clicks-and-mortar. It may seem amazing, but it's entirely realistic! We will drive the power of communities to deliver. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, methodologies are forced to become e-business. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge convergence and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAE but our power to optimize. What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? Without user communities, you will lack TQC.