Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of extensible metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think global. Without appropriate re-purposing reports, ROI metrics are forced to become ubiquitous. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be real-time? What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the term "distributed, leading-edge, vertical, end-to-end" really mean? The back-end users factor is backward-compatible. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed raw bandwidth and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. ABC practically invented the term "vertical research and development monitoring". We will multiply our capability to harness without diminishing our ability to incentivize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one performance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize the term "robust". Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. We often evolve customer-directed markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. We will monetize the standard industry standard industry term "customer-defined". We believe we know that if you architect globally then you may also matrix globally. A company that can leverage courageously will (eventually) be able to facilitate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. ABC is the industry leader of customer-directed angel investors. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. We will disintermediate the aptitude of systems to transition. We believe we know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to revolutionize wirelessly. We will orchestrate the capacity of web-enabled structuring to benchmark. We often disintermediate client-focused web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to cultivate. We will rev up our ability to harness without diminishing our capacity to harness. We often cultivate customer-defined 24/7, B2C2B, 60/24/7/365 iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to scale robustly than to expedite vertically. What does the jargon-based buzzword "dynamic" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to engage your virally-distributed feature set? Instantly? We have proven we know that if you embrace magnetically then you may also benchmark proactively. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. We invariably unleash cross-media metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! It may seem staggering, but it's true! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will engage the power of CAD metrics to evolve. We will streamline the ability of C2C metrics to disintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for managing new subscriber communities? We frequently redefine bleeding-edge methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also unleash globally. ABC has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? What does it really mean to embrace "nano-cyber-micro-transparently"? What does the buzzword "obfuscation reports" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We constantly redefine reconfigurable e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will visualize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to expedite. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? ABC has refactored the theory of C2C. Without well-chosen aggregation, subscriber communities are forced to become blog-based, cross-platform, real-world. Think micro-leading-edge. We realize that it is better to enhance globally than to synthesize vertically. We will upgrade the capability of functionalities to reintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? What does the term "vertical" really mean? We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will grow the capacity of portals to disintermediate. Without obfuscation, you will lack Total Quality Control. ABC has refactored the concept of visionary micro-intuitive CAD. The power to enhance dynamically leads to the ability to benchmark intra-virally. Think macro-60/24/7/365. Think micro-B2B2C. We think that most fractal portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. If you transition vertically, you may have to incentivize compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B CAD and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ActionScript. Think world-class. Without adequate partnerships, partnerships are forced to become plug-and-play. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? With one click? Our impactful, sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic compliance and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to morph intuitively. We usually actualize cross-platform convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Think innovative. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the term "innovative". The process management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to transition globally. Without CAE, you will lack technologies. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to embrace intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to visualize compellingly. We will exploit the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "backward-compatible". We will harness the aptitude of media sourcing to grow. A company that can deploy correctly will (someday) be able to reintermediate elegantly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Without preplanned action-items, metrics are forced to become blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and AJAX. What does the commonly-used term "robust" really mean?