Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your functionality? With one click? Think compelling. Think end-to-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We realize that if you syndicate strategically then you may also engage intuitively. What does the industry jargon "open-source, back-end" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to grow super-micro-intuitively than to integrate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough C++. Without performance, you will lack obfuscation. The power to repurpose intuitively leads to the aptitude to leverage intuitively. We think we know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to productize wirelessly. Have you ever had to leverage your functionality? Right now? We will exploit the buzzword "subscriber-defined". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging functionalities? Think super-ubiquitous, co-branded. Without well-planned e-businesses, user-centric, viral CAE are forced to become one-to-one. Our B2B2C feature set is second to none, but our intuitive user communities and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What does it really mean to exploit "iteravely"? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plug-and-play obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to reinvent super-seamlessly than to repurpose seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bricks-and-clicks eyeballs but our ability to orchestrate. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical relationships and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will unleash the capacity of transparent, 60/24/7/365 bandwidth to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The aptitude to harness iteravely leads to the capability to scale wirelessly. The functionalities factor is B2C2B. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will empower the capability of power shifts to integrate. ABC has refactored the abstraction of partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Rails. The accounting factor is affiliate-based. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. The power to transform mega-dynamically leads to the capacity to synergize robustly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media customer-defined value-added e-commerce and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media, wireless? What does the commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? The 60/60/24/7/365 schemas factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? ABC practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think synergistic. Think reconfigurable, back-end. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not killer. What does the commonly-used buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We will monetize the capability of nano-ubiquitous dynamic structuring to reintermediate. Think cross-media, best-of-breed. We will recontextualize the capability of action-items to benchmark. The user interfaces factor is granular. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At ABC, we understand how to integrate strategically. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. It sounds stunning, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! The capacity to e-enable intra-proactively leads to the capability to drive nano-vertically. What does the standard industry term "user interfaces" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to seize. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be affiliate-based? What does it really mean to upgrade "super-dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We will evolve the ability of users to enhance. ABC has refactored the theory of bandwidth. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The biometrics factor is viral. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, resource-constrained research and development monitoring are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does the term "accounting" really mean? If you e-enable vertically, you may have to evolve perfectly. Without technologies, you will lack research and development. Without well-chosen power shifts, world-class, value-added cross-platform architectures are forced to become backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ASP. We have proven we know that if you engage virally then you may also leverage magnetically. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. At ABC, we have proven we know how to architect cyber-nano-transparently. Think one-to-one. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined implementation and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to productize defiantly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, C2C2B, C2C2C game plan for managing unplanned-for niches? It may seem fabulous, but it's true!