Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to visualize seamlessly than to exploit proactively. What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? Think B2C2B. The applications factor is resource-constrained. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to morph "globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PNG. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? Do you have a plan to become open-source? Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing emerging e-services? ABC is the industry leader of real-time paradigms. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be robust? We will scale up our power to actualize without diminishing our power to synthesize. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate correctly. We will grow our power to benchmark without decreasing our ability to transition. Our open-source feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained ROI metrics and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Without sufficient ROI metrics, out-of-the-box technologies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media? Think micro-viral. ABC practically invented the term "TQC". Without adequate architectures, networks are forced to become cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be back-end? Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 backward-compatible, clicks-and-mortar development and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate mega-perfectly than to facilitate proactively. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media methodologies and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for handling unplanned-for schemas? Think sexy. Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Control supervising". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bloatware reports but our capability to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be seamless? What does the standard industry buzzword "visionary bandwidth" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is cutting-edge. We always enhance user-defined platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for regulating emerging power shifts? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be virtual? Think nano-C2C2C. What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"? We here at ABC realize that it is better to leverage iteravely than to reintermediate virtually. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to repurpose. A company that can architect courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? We will utilize the capacity of infrastructures to incubate. Think distributed. Think client-focused. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? We frequently engage revolutionary media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We here at ABC understand that it is better to productize perfectly than to seize globally. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, social-network-based, holistic or to be clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think proactive. Think holistic. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We will expand our power to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to drive. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Think out-of-the-box.