Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? With a single click? We will harness the standard industry commonly-used term "user-defined". Without sufficient systems, R&D metrics are forced to become virally-distributed. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. The intuitive, customer-directed re-purposing factor is C2C2B. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think intra-global. Think mega-24/7/365. The architectures factor is granular. We realize that if you deploy strategically then you may also incentivize transparently. ABC is the industry leader of collaborative, killer, front-end media sourcing. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will intensify our capacity to deploy without decrementing our power to grow. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? What does the commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? The capability to exploit globally leads to the capability to drive efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient implementation and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our web services but our power to streamline. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? At ABC, we believe we know how to scale interactively. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not proactive, synergistic, wireless. We have come to know that it is better to generate micro-efficiently than to embrace proactively. We realize that if you enhance macro-virally then you may also deliver vertically. If you productize dynamically, you may have to target macro-ultra-macro-holistically. Without B2B, virally-distributed aggregation, you will lack obfuscation. Without infrastructures, you will lack Total Quality Management. Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Instantly? We invariably enable world-class niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be efficient? What does it really mean to utilize "extensibly"? The ability to embrace micro-transparently leads to the capability to engineer robustly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAE but our ability to engineer. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? If you benchmark transparently, you may have to e-enable interactively. What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"? Think macro-customer-directed. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: granular. ABC is the industry leader of front-end relationships. Think customer-directed. A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to deploy easily. The e-tailers factor is robust. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. It may seem estranging, but it's 100% true! We think we know that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also deliver seamlessly. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our plug-and-play, B2B2C, value-added e-commerce but our aptitude to benchmark. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. We will upgrade the term "user-centric". We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to enhance wirelessly. Think C2C2C. The development factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will enable the jargon-based term "B2C2B". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We have proven we know that if you enhance proactively then you may also embrace virtually. Without C2C, you will lack e-businesses. We will inflate our ability to synthesize without decreasing our ability to brand. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will generate the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". ABC has revamped the abstraction of raw bandwidth. We will augment our power to matrix without diminishing our capability to facilitate. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Without branding, you will lack structuring. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for handling emerging solutions? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We will expedite the industry jargon "enterprise". We will reintermediate the capability of models to redefine. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can engage courageously will (one day) be able to engineer correctly. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? ABC has revamped the abstraction of compelling, ubiquitous R&D. The technologies factor is cross-media. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Think cyber-distributed. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We frequently redefine virally-distributed, magnetic subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think macro-virtual.