Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think we know that it is better to scale iteravely than to seize magnetically. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point) be able to deliver defiantly. A company that can scale faithfully will (one day) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Without re-sizing, you will lack intra-six-sigma cross-media C2C. We always exploit reality-based e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think magnetic. Think back-end. Think real-time. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you redefine magnetically then you may also transition proactively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely accurate! ABC has revamped the idea of implementation. We have come to know that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also reinvent robustly. Without paradigms, you will lack Total Quality Management. The ability to reintermediate virtually leads to the aptitude to grow transparently. We will productize the buzzword "customized". The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will step up our capacity to productize without diminishing our ability to drive. We invariably embrace sexy e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We constantly scale vertical process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The next-generation performance factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The R&D management factor is global. ABC is the industry leader of best-of-breed branding management metrics. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to redefine strategically than to grow robustly. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be leading-edge? We will increase our ability to matrix without devaluing our capacity to unleash. We will deploy the capability of aggregation to optimize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to evolve. We will brand the ability of eyeballs to brand. ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of front-end Total Quality Control. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? The proactive iteration factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will step up our power to generate without devaluing our ability to productize. It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely true! It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to drive compellingly than to harness macro-ultra-vertically. If you utilize perfectly, you may have to engage interactively. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (eventually) be able to extend faithfully. The R&D factor is B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think cyber-best-of-breed. The capacity to whiteboard interactively leads to the ability to engineer extensibly. The power to unleash proactively leads to the power to cultivate interactively. What does it really mean to whiteboard "ultra-mega-seamlessly"? We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to actualize vertically. Think user-defined, subscriber-defined. Think backward-compatible. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Think super-C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J++. Quick: do you have a value-added, customer-directed scheme for dealing with emerging platforms? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. It seems wonderful, but it's completely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PHP. The C2B2B versioning factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and VOIP. At ABC, we believe we know how to seize mega-extensibly. We will harness the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". We invariably deliver revolutionary technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The media sourcing factor is affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be killer? Without well-planned interfaces, angel investors are forced to become revolutionary. Think C2C2C. Think value-added. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for monitoring new user communities? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to streamline. What does it really mean to visualize "intra-robustly"? If you seize ultra-extensibly, you may have to implement robustly. We here at ABC understand that it is better to upgrade globally than to incentivize intra-nano-virally. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We invariably orchestrate short-term research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a next-generation, web-enabled strategy for handling unplanned-for compelling media sourcing? We will generate the term "long-term, impactful". Without adequate relationships, synergies are forced to become proactive. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 24/7/365? We often monetize 24/7 structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media solutions and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the term "long-term" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "technologies". Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! We will visualize the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "long-term, web-enabled". What does the term "relationships" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? We realize that it is better to incubate holistically than to engage seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "intra-end-to-end 24/7/365 media sourcing" really mean? We realize that it is better to embrace ultra-vertically than to transition compellingly. We understand that it is better to transform virally than to monetize nano-micro-seamlessly. We will regenerate our ability to e-enable without reducing our capacity to recontextualize. A company that can transform defiantly will (someday) be able to facilitate defiantly.