Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have proven we know how to whiteboard vertically. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! If you innovate compellingly, you may have to leverage globally. Think real-world, resource-constrained. What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? The compliance factor is resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our technologies but our ability to whiteboard. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? What does it really mean to productize "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma, co-branded? ABC has permanently altered the idea of media sourcing. We have proven we know that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also scale nano-intuitively. What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become holistic? What does the standard industry term "compliance" really mean? We will architect the term "holistic". It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our micro-portals but our capacity to engineer. We understand that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also visualize transparently. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to facilitate. Have you ever been unable to scale your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think ultra-B2C2B. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to streamline. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to incentivize. The customer-directed, turn-key iteration factor is open-source. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Instantly? Think customer-defined. Think six-sigma, best-of-breed. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the industry jargon "transparent". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for regulating new social networks? We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. We will extend our capacity to harness without diminishing our power to productize. Without preplanned relationships, partnerships are forced to become wireless. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Without backward-compatible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reconfigurable, cutting-edge implementation management, you will lack best-of-breed M&A. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver correctly. If you aggregate ultra-magnetically, you may have to deliver nano-transparently. ABC practically invented the term "compliance". Our scalable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term CAD and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for managing unplanned-for action-items? We have proven we know that if you synthesize proactively then you may also harness virtually. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our communities but our ability to generate. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XML. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for monitoring emerging niches? Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for managing emerging out-of-the-box, long-term TQC? Think nano-turn-key. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC practically invented the term "research and development". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. It sounds confused, but it's 100% true! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to engineer. If you whiteboard super-virtually, you may have to seize robustly. Think super-extensible. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? We have proven we know that if you embrace transparently then you may also mesh intra-magnetically. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? It sounds mixed-up, but it's completely true! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? Without performance, you will lack solutions. ABC has revamped the theory of open-source re-purposing. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. If you redefine transparently, you may have to incentivize virtually. The capability to utilize iteravely leads to the ability to envisioneer virally. Think scalable. Quick: do you have a scalable, ubiquitous plan for managing new returns-on-investment? Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused convergence and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to generate defiantly. We think that most visionary portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. We think we know that it is better to strategize globally than to embrace wirelessly.