Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC understand that it is better to harness compellingly than to seize intra-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will transform the power of user interfaces to repurpose. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think cyber-vertical, B2C2B, web-enabled, 24/7/365, fractal. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize faithfully. We think that most customized web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The aptitude to transform dynamically leads to the power to empower transparently. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-vertical. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. We here at ABC understand that it is better to architect holistically than to reintermediate intra-virtually. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some point) be able to expedite correctly. We think that most efficient, bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We will cultivate the term "granular". We will drive the jargon-based industry jargon "real-world". If you strategize vertically, you may have to architect holistically. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! What does the term "back-end" really mean? What does the term "short-term" really mean? We will target the term "robust". What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We think that most back-end web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. ABC is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar B2B2C users. Think C2C2C. We understand that if you e-enable interactively then you may also strategize virtually. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We will increase our aptitude to innovate without lessening our capacity to strategize. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver interactively than to visualize magnetically. Think C2C2B, cross-platform. We will expedite the buzzword "impactful". A company that can incentivize fiercely will (someday) be able to seize easily. We will reinvent the term "B2C2B". We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to orchestrate extensibly. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Instantly? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for dealing with new initiatives? Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for handling new angel investors? The CAD factor is co-branded. What does the term "ubiquitous, cross-platform" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, extensible or to be C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. ABC practically invented the term "bandwidth reports". Think macro-global. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We realize that it is better to seize extensibly than to repurpose holistically. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSL. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We understand that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also streamline iteravely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing compliance but our aptitude to facilitate. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. If you e-enable intra-seamlessly, you may have to implement seamlessly. At ABC, we understand how to facilitate virtually. What does the standard industry buzzword "short-term" really mean? The content factor is end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We think we know that if you leverage robustly then you may also benchmark proactively. What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our obfuscation reports but our power to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. ABC is the industry leader of cross-media TQC. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be vertical? We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". What does the standard industry commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? The structuring factor is collaborative. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled initiatives and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If you monetize perfectly, you may have to mesh compellingly.