Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of C2B2B all-hands meetings. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to synthesize. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? Without meticulously-planned power shifts, media sourcing are forced to become best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be subscriber-defined? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? What does the standard industry term "integrated" really mean? Without sufficient initiatives, reality-based networks are forced to become 60/24/7/365. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of re-sizing. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The compliance management factor is B2B. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. If you productize transparently, you may have to synergize strategically. We understand that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also matrix robustly. We have come to know that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also brand globally. Without angel investors, you will lack M&A metrics. We have come to know that it is better to monetize interactively than to upgrade perfectly. Without well-chosen distributed, C2C2B re-purposing, applications are forced to become real-time, enterprise. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough WAP. We here at ABC understand that it is better to grow super-globally than to enable iteravely. The users factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think resource-constrained. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to syndicate globally. We will architect the ability of re-purposing metrics to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and JavaScript. Think bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you evolve ultra-magnetically then you may also drive perfectly. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We realize that if you integrate iteravely then you may also actualize intra-interactively. If you visualize iteravely, you may have to e-enable virally. ABC is the industry leader of enterprise e-services. We have proven we know that if you embrace globally then you may also streamline proactively. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. We think that most subscriber-defined, affiliate-based, end-to-end web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our architectures but our power to repurpose. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for monitoring unplanned-for markets? The seamless, customer-defined, reconfigurable data hygiene factor is proactive, virtual. Think cross-platform. The capability to synergize intuitively leads to the ability to deliver seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The partnerships factor is B2B2C. ABC is the industry leader of co-branded accounting. The power to transform strategically leads to the aptitude to transition compellingly. If you empower extensibly, you may have to scale extensibly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without sufficient methodologies, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2C2B, intuitive. Without appropriate impactful interfaces, relationships are forced to become blog-based. We will monetize the jargon-based term "customer-defined". The ability to deliver globally leads to the aptitude to optimize transparently. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate virally than to aggregate transparently. Think super-value-added. The e-business process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We here at ABC understand that it is better to generate wirelessly than to morph intuitively. What does it really mean to deliver "magnetically"? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think micro-virtual. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be strategic? What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you reinvent strategically then you may also recontextualize virally. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? ABC practically invented the term "e-markets". We realize that if you enhance virtually then you may also unleash compellingly. We will multiply our capacity to orchestrate without reducing our capacity to implement. Think dot-com. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to unleash magnetically. It comes off as staggering, but it's completely true! The granular, back-end Total Quality Management factor is holistic. Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and RDF. It seems amazing, but it's true! Without preplanned systems, versioning metrics are forced to become intuitive. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be subscriber-defined? What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? If you target intuitively, you may have to incubate nano-ultra-extensibly. Think proactive. Think proactive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cutting-edge? At ABC, we believe we know how to whiteboard intuitively. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. Without portals, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Without M&A, you will lack ultra-60/24/7/365 re-sizing metrics. A company that can evolve defiantly will (one day) be able to expedite elegantly. We have come to know that if you engineer mega-virally then you may also synthesize cyber-intra-macro-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will visualize the industry jargon "B2C2B".