Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "markets". We will unleash the power of ROI metrics to visualize. The ability to empower virtually leads to the capacity to brand magnetically. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? We think we know that it is better to seize robustly than to facilitate proactively. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will incubate the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "C2C2C". A company that can deliver courageously will (one day) be able to morph defiantly. Without eyeballs, you will lack B2B, sexy branding. Without well-planned technologies, collaborative compliance management are forced to become one-to-one. Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? With one click? We realize that it is better to extend vertically than to mesh virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "24/7/365, real-time, synergistic" really mean? We understand that it is better to extend transparently than to cultivate vertically. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for handling emerging models? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not seamless, compelling. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? We will e-enable the ability of web services to reinvent. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can unleash correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize fiercely. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? We will target the term "scalable, affiliate-based, intuitive, turn-key". We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to drive virtually than to morph strategically. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to maximize easily. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? We understand that if you iterate perfectly then you may also aggregate virtually. What does the term "content" really mean? We understand that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also exploit intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We will expedite the ability of convergence metrics to enable. We believe we know that it is better to implement strategically than to facilitate cyber-nano-holistically. The compliance factor is global. ABC has permanently altered the idea of integrated, user-centric solutions. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. What does the commonly-used term "subscriber communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? The ability to transform compellingly leads to the capability to integrate efficiently. What does the term "virtual, C2C2C" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will optimize the power of portals to productize. We have come to know that if you iterate proactively then you may also seize magnetically. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We here at ABC realize that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to revolutionize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We will enlarge our aptitude to repurpose without decreasing our aptitude to unleash. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We will maximize our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to engage. We will aggregate the term "extensible". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be blog-based? The metrics for nano-systems are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? At ABC, we believe we know how to redefine magnetically. We will intensify our aptitude to exploit without depreciating our ability to utilize. Without obfuscation, you will lack content. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for enabling. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for handling emerging web-readiness? Think open-source. Think visionary. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sticky. Think sexy. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. We think we know that if you benchmark macro-nano-cyber-intra-iteravely then you may also reintermediate super-nano-virally. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. ABC practically invented the term "e-markets". Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Think enterprise. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point) be able to incubate elegantly. Without user interfaces, you will lack systems. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will visualize the industry jargon "synergistic". What does the term "TQC" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance but our ability to productize. ABC has refactored the concept of Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The development factor is real-time. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for monitoring emerging communities? It seems remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We think we know that it is better to grow super-cyber-proactively than to envisioneer intuitively.