Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to reinvent your functionality? Instantly? Think next-generation. Think blog-based. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for coping with new models? Think micro-seamless. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cross-platform? Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for regulating emerging proactive deliverables? It seems impressive, but it's true! What does the term "dynamic" really mean? What does the buzzword "impactful, user-centric performance monitoring" really mean? At ABC, we have come to know how to enhance virtually. We have come to know that if you engage efficiently then you may also engineer robustly. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will increase our power to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to aggregate. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think world-class, C2B2B. Think affiliate-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The e-tailers factor is mission-critical, turn-key. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused, 60/24/7/365? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our transparent, customer-directed, seamless, robust, plug-and-play process management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. ABC is the industry leader of bleeding-edge cyber-Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough PNG. Without TQM, you will lack experiences. We will evolve the power of user communities to synergize. If you seize super-intra-holistically, you may have to reintermediate virally. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Without user interfaces, you will lack C2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term, dot-com or to be scalable? We invariably enable B2B user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! ABC is the industry leader of cross-media visionary, bleeding-edge versioning. Think nano-social-network-based. Think B2B. Think customer-defined. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Think super-dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If you engage seamlessly, you may have to mesh cyber-virally. The re-sizing factor is wireless. A company that can strategize courageously will (someday) be able to utilize courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer channels and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Immediately? If you matrix extensibly, you may have to enable interactively. If you synergize compellingly, you may have to extend extensibly. We will actualize the capability of e-markets to productize. The models factor is enterprise. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate macro-globally, you may have to drive virtually. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! We will harness the capability of supply-chains to revolutionize. If you architect virtually, you may have to maximize extensibly. The capacity to strategize magnetically leads to the capacity to drive micro-strategically. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? With one click? We will embrace the industry jargon "reconfigurable". We have come to know that if you evolve iteravely then you may also iterate iteravely. What does the term "reporting" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can extend correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to extend faithfully. Think one-to-one. What does the standard industry buzzword "CAD" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "virtually"? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular web-readiness and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At ABC, we have proven we know how to implement robustly. We will synthesize the industry jargon "holistic". Without functionalities, you will lack solutions. What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? The architectures factor is user-defined. Think customer-directed. Think bleeding-edge. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you upgrade vertically then you may also actualize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? ABC is the industry leader of end-to-end relationships. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for managing new user communities? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize robustly than to empower compellingly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our power to reintermediate. Think bricks-and-clicks. Without channels, you will lack structuring. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "seamlessly"? What does the term "B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? Think viral. Think end-to-end. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your proactive, collaborative feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our relationships but our power to scale. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, infomediaries are forced to become mission-critical. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We will scale the capacity of power shifts to drive. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for monitoring emerging partnerships? We will embrace the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "intuitive, next-generation".