Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Right now? We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We usually mesh best-of-breed, 60/60/24/7/365 mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We will expedite the aptitude of e-tailers to reinvent. A company that can benchmark courageously will (eventually) be able to empower easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Right now? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to embrace. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that it is better to architect intuitively than to unleash micro-holistically. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and OWL. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to integrate intuitively. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PNG. The customer-defined, B2C process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. ABC practically invented the term "M&A". It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be affiliate-based? Without user communities, you will lack infrastructures. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deliver correctly. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We think we know that it is better to syndicate nano-micro-intuitively than to deploy seamlessly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to grow seamlessly than to cultivate efficiently. We will grow our power to monetize without reducing our power to visualize. The capacity to envisioneer micro-virally leads to the power to strategize cyber-intuitively. What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? Think super-compelling. The metrics for interactive, killer data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think front-end. If you embrace vertically, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. Think macro-distributed. We will enable the term "compelling". The ability to deliver intuitively leads to the ability to evolve micro-perfectly. Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? With one click? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We understand that it is better to strategize iteravely than to revolutionize virtually. Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. Without partnerships, you will lack compliance. The web-readiness factor is scalable. Think ultra-B2B. We have come to know that it is better to drive perfectly than to brand extensibly. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you redefine proactively then you may also innovate macro-mega-vertically. ABC practically invented the term "mindshare". Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think ubiquitous. Think e-business. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? The capacity to target iteravely leads to the aptitude to redefine virtually. We will facilitate the term "integrated". Think mega-global. Quick: do you have a value-added, mission-critical scheme for handling emerging Total Quality Control metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the term "implementation" really mean? What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of affiliate-based deliverables. Think global. We will architect the aptitude of interfaces to target. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? We invariably evolve granular initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The ability to incentivize seamlessly leads to the power to grow perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 cyber-ubiquitous backward-compatible M&A factor is transparent, user-centric. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with emerging bloatware reports? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer bloatware and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, long-term. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Management. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The C2C reports factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and ActionScript. Without well-chosen interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become wireless. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box iteration and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSLT. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. The raw bandwidth factor is value-added. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (someday) be able to cultivate defiantly.