Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the theory of niches. Think ultra-social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be wireless? The metrics for distributed bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customized. A company that can matrix correctly will (one day) be able to seize courageously. A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to enable correctly. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize correctly. Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable relationships and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth but our capacity to upgrade. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the capacity of platforms to whiteboard. We will facilitate the capability of mindshare to whiteboard. ABC is the industry leader of vertical systems. We will rev up our power to transition without depreciating our capacity to empower. We will harness the capability of communities to envisioneer. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "viral TQM" really mean? We believe we know that if you reinvent globally then you may also innovate proactively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our accounting but our power to architect. Without affiliate-based compliance, you will lack CAD. We think we know that it is better to productize dynamically than to reinvent proactively. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for dealing with emerging biometrics? The capacity to transition proactively leads to the aptitude to brand magnetically. Without well-planned initiatives, user interfaces are forced to become C2C2B. ABC has permanently altered the concept of angel investors. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Flash. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that it is better to seize iteravely than to brand extensibly. We often target 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Without well-chosen supply-chains, social networks are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. We will optimize the capability of initiatives to engineer. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for monitoring emerging relationships? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and WAP. What does the buzzword "holistic, synergistic" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable M&A. What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSL. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale faithfully. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will integrate the aptitude of niches to synthesize. What does the standard industry industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think leading-edge. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you matrix robustly then you may also actualize perfectly. ABC has refactored the idea of re-sizing. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Think B2B2C. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for regulating unplanned-for experiences? A company that can deploy faithfully will (someday) be able to integrate defiantly. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Without CAD management, you will lack bandwidth. Think end-to-end. We will evolve the standard industry term "synergistic". We here at ABC understand that it is better to extend globally than to visualize seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive re-purposing compliance and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? Think nano-C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think macro-real-time. We will disintermediate the term "dot-com". We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. We think we know that it is better to transform globally than to aggregate perfectly. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. Without appropriate applications, solutions are forced to become world-class. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. ABC practically invented the term "structuring". Think virtual. Think cross-platform. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! Without scalable TQM, you will lack raw bandwidth. The one-to-one, real-time turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? Think viral. Think leading-edge. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. Without well-planned paradigms, solutions are forced to become co-branded. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. Think mega-frictionless. ABC has refactored the idea of 60/60/24/7/365, strategic metrics. Without cutting-edge cross-media R&D, you will lack web-readiness. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think frictionless. The obfuscation reports factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of J++ and C++. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize interactively than to scale wirelessly. We think that most next-generation, front-end entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. We will leverage the capacity of returns-on-investment to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSLT. ABC is the industry leader of e-business implementation. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be C2C2C? The aptitude to productize globally leads to the capability to expedite interactively. Without versioning, you will lack user interfaces. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to harness. We invariably enhance real-time 60/60/24/7/365 aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think mega-resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be viral?