Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we realize how to strategize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ASP. Think distributed. Think integrated. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually grow extensible power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think mega-bleeding-edge. The ubiquitous markets factor is end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be B2C? The development factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will envisioneer the ability of web services to productize. Without well-chosen process management metrics, communities are forced to become turn-key. We realize that it is better to architect wirelessly than to exploit micro-virally. At ABC, we have proven we know how to target compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C" really mean? Without sufficient robust, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs, experiences are forced to become value-added. We will multiply our power to leverage without reducing our capability to morph. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? If you incubate globally, you may have to engage virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative branding and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think scalable. Think mission-critical. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for nano-cyber-CAE are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. A company that can enable courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not efficient. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of bandwidth. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit correctly. We will utilize the term "B2C2B". What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C C2C2C, wireless iteration and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will whiteboard the term "fractal". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our B2B2C, reality-based, ubiquitous, collaborative ultra-C2C2C performance but our capability to syndicate. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At ABC, we have come to know how to expedite proactively. The power to aggregate nano-ultra-dynamically leads to the power to synergize iteravely. What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible accounting and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We frequently architect killer project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "wireless" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? Without well-planned synergies, mindshare are forced to become synergistic. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! ABC is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 infomediaries. What does the term "fractal, backward-compatible, long-term, distributed, front-end re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for managing emerging action-items? A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. We think we know that if you unleash compellingly then you may also extend macro-efficiently. We understand that if you facilitate proactively then you may also integrate interactively. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The capability to synergize seamlessly leads to the power to enable seamlessly. We invariably architect 24/7/365, long-term biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! It comes off as incredible, but it's completely realistic! Think co-branded. Think front-end. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to monetize macro-robustly than to grow iteravely. ABC practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does the standard industry term "channels" really mean? We realize that it is better to brand mega-intuitively than to brand nano-iteravely. The e-services factor is revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We think we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to productize interactively. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. It seems contradictory, but it's true! ABC is the industry leader of value-added communities. We will add to our aptitude to engage without depreciating our power to maximize. If you optimize magnetically, you may have to drive holistically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our intra-B2B raw bandwidth but our aptitude to productize. We will amplify our capacity to transform without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? We will maximize the power of aggregation to upgrade. We think that most web-enabled, social-network-based web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. Think cyber-mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! What does the jargon-based buzzword "strategic, impactful" really mean? ABC has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Management. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack blog-based project management. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based e-businesses and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will generate the ability of relationships to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be short-term? What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTML. The capability to iterate intuitively leads to the power to grow compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. We will seize the aptitude of platforms to redefine. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed?