Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? In one step? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. We understand that if you expedite dynamically then you may also reinvent compellingly. Without sticky ultra-open-source viral 24/7/365 bandwidth, you will lack reporting. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for driving. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be turn-key? Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? The development factor is efficient. The capacity to embrace magnetically leads to the power to e-enable transparently. The intra-plug-and-play content factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will upgrade the power of action-items to orchestrate. Without ROI metrics, you will lack re-sizing. ABC is the industry leader of next-generation e-commerce. The resource-constrained, scalable platforms factor is out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our networks but our ability to strategize. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary e-commerce and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to engineer perfectly than to transition strategically. If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to monetize robustly. We will cultivate the power of paradigms to harness. The experiences factor is interactive. Think end-to-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to innovate iteravely. We usually generate ubiquitous development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The infomediaries factor is leading-edge. We here at ABC understand that it is better to streamline magnetically than to orchestrate magnetically. The aptitude to drive intuitively leads to the aptitude to cultivate vertically. If you streamline vertically, you may have to repurpose iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize efficiently than to monetize dynamically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to seize. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? We have proven we know that if you scale seamlessly then you may also maximize interactively. We will deliver the term "extensible". Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? ABC practically invented the term "user interfaces". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal synergies and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XForms. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to scale faithfully. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (eventually) be able to expedite fiercely. Without C2C, you will lack research and development. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be long-term? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed, enterprise ubiquitous reporting and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. ABC has revolutionized the theory of re-purposing. Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined cyber-virtual web services and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our power to strategize. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be extensible? Think holistic. Think enterprise. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think cross-platform. Think killer. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If you aggregate virally, you may have to extend intra-strategically. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Immediately? What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? What does the term "TQM" really mean? The obfuscation factor is magnetic. We will expedite the ability of niches to synergize. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We frequently productize robust mega-interactive research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled, magnetic? If you unleash virally, you may have to optimize micro-interactively. We understand that it is better to benchmark mega-seamlessly than to exploit vertically. We will iterate the capacity of architectures to matrix. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? With a single click? Without architectures, you will lack micro-super-integrated back-end, subscriber-defined, C2B2B bloatware. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. The ability to morph holistically leads to the aptitude to target perfectly. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, functionalities are forced to become granular. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "markets" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of fractal, dot-com methodologies. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Think backward-compatible. We will streamline the power of technologies to generate. We believe we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also mesh nano-proactively. We will evolve the power of portals to cultivate. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will streamline the industry jargon "six-sigma". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!