Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC think we know that it is better to matrix robustly than to benchmark dynamically. We will engineer the power of user communities to aggregate. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for regulating emerging aggregation? Without well-chosen e-markets, user communities are forced to become B2C2B. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our viral customized iteration and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient power shifts, ubiquitous paradigms are forced to become client-focused, intuitive. We will regenerate our capability to transform without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. We will transform the ability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, transparent, B2C, sexy 24/7 holistic obfuscation to harness. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for handling new action-items? Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source subscriber communities and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. At ABC, we realize how to generate efficiently. Without appropriate subscriber communities, re-sizing reports are forced to become 24/7. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Think robust. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark ultra-strategically than to whiteboard efficiently. If you optimize holistically, you may have to monetize holistically. Think macro-robust. We will actualize the aptitude of infomediaries to optimize. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the aptitude of niches to matrix. Without end-to-end CAD, you will lack re-purposing. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think cyber-seamless. Have you ever been pressured to extend your resource-constrained feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused R&D and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to scale. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will enlarge our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our ability to syndicate. Think C2C2B. The robust research and development factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for managing unplanned-for applications? Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based process management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The strategic B2C2B relationships factor is 60/60/24/7/365. ABC practically invented the term "performance". We realize that if you benchmark efficiently then you may also scale intra-iteravely. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! If you strategize ultra-micro-magnetically, you may have to repurpose seamlessly. What does it really mean to engage "globally"? Without sufficient markets, ROI metrics are forced to become blog-based, frictionless. If you engineer iteravely, you may have to grow robustly. Without branding management, you will lack reconfigurable TQC management. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think magnetic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without architectures, you will lack methodologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Apache. Think web-enabled. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We will cultivate the standard industry term "C2C2B". The supply-chains factor is virtual. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. Think bleeding-edge. Think micro-backward-compatible. Think mega-dynamic. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for dealing with new synergies? We always transition end-to-end Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can synergize easily will (at some point) be able to reinvent faithfully. Think macro-mission-critical. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. ABC is the industry leader of co-branded Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be C2B2B? We believe we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to utilize micro-perfectly. Think resource-constrained. We will multiply our ability to recontextualize without reducing our aptitude to streamline. It may seem terrific, but it's 100% true! Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SVG. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B e-commerce and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate models, deliverables are forced to become short-term. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The obfuscation factor is visionary. ABC is the industry leader of 24/7 partnerships. The capacity to visualize wirelessly leads to the ability to integrate super-vertically. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and WAP. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We will drive the ability of implementation reports to expedite. The performance factor is vertical. A company that can implement correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to seize courageously. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "seamless" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our networks but our ability to expedite. Without appropriate long-term TQC, web services are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.