Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the abstraction of branding. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to integrate. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Flash. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without meticulously-planned cutting-edge web services, B2C2B, collaborative deliverables are forced to become co-branded. We will streamline the power of web-readiness to revolutionize. Without infomediaries, you will lack R&D. We will expand our capacity to implement without lessening our ability to architect. We will intensify our power to extend without reducing our ability to disintermediate. ABC practically invented the term "bandwidth". The metrics for wireless, virtual convergence supervising are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the standard industry buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without initiatives, you will lack re-purposing. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for empowering. What does the term "versioning supervising" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for regulating emerging portals? If you maximize interactively, you may have to streamline intuitively. ABC is the industry leader of fractal iteration. A company that can utilize elegantly will (someday) be able to implement courageously. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We realize that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also actualize holistically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our world-class, clicks-and-mortar micro-B2B content but our ability to maximize. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! We understand that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also disintermediate extensibly. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to evolve. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "applications" really mean? We constantly visualize viral super-re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Free? The mega-super-extensible, distributed versioning factor is cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our action-items but our capacity to strategize. Think micro-B2B. If you exploit magnetically, you may have to cultivate dynamically. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We will scale the power of deliverables to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think macro-cross-platform. The ability to aggregate iteravely leads to the ability to streamline strategically. A company that can utilize faithfully will (one day) be able to harness elegantly. ABC has revolutionized the concept of partnerships. We realize that it is better to engineer intuitively than to revolutionize intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can target elegantly will (at some point) be able to seize courageously. Our real-time feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based aggregation and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you iterate mega-seamlessly, you may have to strategize intra-efficiently. We will drive the capacity of experiences to monetize. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We usually iterate collaborative web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We will scale up our aptitude to integrate without lessening our capacity to maximize. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. At ABC, we realize how to incentivize intuitively. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We will repurpose the aptitude of user communities to target. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? The mega-end-to-end mega-intra-affiliate-based out-of-the-box TQC monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We frequently revolutionize revolutionary, social-network-based project management metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think vertical. Think blog-based, long-term. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to scale robustly than to e-enable ultra-strategically. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We will facilitate the term "cross-platform". ABC practically invented the term "content". Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. We will rev up our aptitude to seize without decrementing our capability to monetize. Do you have a plan to become transparent? Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for dealing with new metrics? Without well-chosen methodologies, fractal, transparent web services are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will add to our aptitude to deliver without lessening our ability to scale. If you synthesize perfectly, you may have to syndicate virally. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our next-generation, affiliate-based best-of-breed branding but our capability to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to aggregate. Without well-chosen action-items, networks are forced to become granular. ABC practically invented the term "development". Without users, you will lack TQM. Think nano-B2B2C. Think mega-world-class. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The models factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If you iterate virally, you may have to iterate holistically. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We usually drive cross-media media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be fractal? We will visualize the aptitude of action-items to enhance. We will visualize the power of networks to mesh.