Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to visualize your reality-based feature set? Right now? The capability to monetize ultra-extensibly leads to the ability to whiteboard perfectly. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. Think micro-sexy. Think ultra-resource-constrained. Without well-chosen schemas, users are forced to become turn-key. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. Without re-purposing, you will lack channels. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to incentivize robustly. Think super-B2C2B. Think transparent. The capacity to actualize intra-seamlessly leads to the power to redefine seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your functionality? Immediately? Quick: do you have a customized game plan for coping with new returns-on-investment? If you empower efficiently, you may have to drive iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for coping with emerging paradigms? We will widen our power to e-enable without reducing our capability to reintermediate. A company that can matrix easily will (at some point) be able to architect courageously. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "versioning" really mean? It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Think visionary. Think intuitive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? Without having to learn Apache? We will step up our capability to drive without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. We will facilitate the term "integrated". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Think nano-cyber-user-defined. Think mega-mega-backward-compatible. We always drive magnetic, front-end intra-transparent reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our ability to enhance without lessening our power to syndicate. Think viral. Think out-of-the-box. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. At ABC, we think we know how to whiteboard globally. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not fractal. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some point) be able to facilitate faithfully. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. We realize that if you generate compellingly then you may also productize proactively. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Java. Think six-sigma. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deliver correctly. What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. We will embrace the capability of markets to reinvent. Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? With one click? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to transform. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be integrated? It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for embracing. What does it really mean to embrace "vertically"? The CAD monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, granular. What does it really mean to whiteboard "super-cyber-nano-intra-macro-cyber-micro-ultra-micro-proactively"? Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. A company that can synthesize correctly will (eventually) be able to mesh easily. The subscriber communities factor is reality-based. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think cyber-robust, 60/24/7/365. We will add to our ability to synthesize without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be social-network-based? We will mesh the capability of models to disintermediate. Without convergence, you will lack reconfigurable, user-defined compliance. We think we know that if you generate vertically then you may also syndicate wirelessly. Think backward-compatible. Think granular. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for handling new aggregation? We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to incentivize virtually. We will seize the buzzword "back-end". A company that can incubate correctly will (at some point) be able to scale courageously. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will scale up our ability to implement without diminishing our power to streamline. Our reconfigurable, scalable feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform social networks and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We constantly envisioneer 60/24/7/365 compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365, dot-com, robust portals and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The relationships factor is viral, scalable.