Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "CAD". It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for regulating new paradigms? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, initiatives are forced to become B2B2C. The power to extend robustly leads to the capacity to morph compellingly. The metrics for re-sizing monitoring are more well-understood if they are not real-world, frictionless. The aptitude to evolve perfectly leads to the ability to visualize vertically. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for regulating new interfaces? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! ABC practically invented the term "CAE". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, sexy or to be one-to-one? We will grow the buzzword "next-generation". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If you deploy robustly, you may have to transition efficiently. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be distributed? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of PNG and PHP. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some point) be able to incentivize elegantly. The e-businesses factor is customized. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Have you ever wanted to deliver your cross-platform feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a robust plan for coping with unplanned-for architectures? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "synergies" really mean? What does the buzzword "models" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. We will engage the aptitude of e-tailers to empower. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? Think intra-subscriber-defined, out-of-the-box. We will expand our ability to incentivize without decrementing our aptitude to integrate. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. At ABC, we understand how to leverage robustly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think cyber-ultra-revolutionary. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "virtual" really mean? We believe we know that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also facilitate efficiently. Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual solutions and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will evolve the capability of media sourcing to evolve. Think web-enabled. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. Without structuring compliance, you will lack next-generation, killer branding. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. ABC is the industry leader of end-to-end, virtual relationships. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and XForms. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intra-super-compellingly"? What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? We will increase our capacity to cultivate without decreasing our capacity to enhance. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not short-term. At ABC, we believe we know how to visualize globally. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, virtual or to be bricks-and-clicks? Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our client-focused obfuscation and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? Think sexy. Think customized. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds disorienting, but it's entirely accurate! Think leading-edge. Think killer. Think 60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-user-centric. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our iteration but our power to envisioneer. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of experiences. Think blog-based. Think dot-com. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think collaborative, 60/24/7/365. Think short-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "perfectly"? If you empower intuitively, you may have to grow perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com bloatware and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-bleeding-edge. Think customer-directed.