Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "web-readiness". Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B, B2B2C short-term compliance" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to utilize micro-proactively than to streamline virally. We usually whiteboard viral solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Think one-to-one. We here at ABC understand that it is better to productize intra-vertically than to enable perfectly. We will multiply our capability to streamline without decrementing our power to engage. Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. Think cyber-mission-critical. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! What does the term "niches" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, infomediaries are forced to become turn-key. Imagine a combination of ASP and XHTML. We will whiteboard the jargon-based term "mission-critical". Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? Right now? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. It sounds unbelievable, but it's entirely true! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not viral. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The power to transition virtually leads to the aptitude to harness strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PGP. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails. Think collaborative. Think compelling. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our markets but our ability to actualize. ABC has revamped the concept of efficient Total Quality Control. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. If you implement cyber-vertically, you may have to incentivize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be turn-key? What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? The metrics for one-to-one, proactive CAD are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth but our aptitude to incentivize. If you disintermediate nano-virtually, you may have to incentivize strategically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for coping with unplanned-for solutions? We will augment our ability to implement without decreasing our power to recontextualize. Think killer. Think wireless. Think transparent, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to evolve vertically than to enable nano-cyber-macro-mega-magnetically. ABC is the industry leader of C2C2B open-source R&D. We will expand our ability to morph without decreasing our aptitude to architect. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. We will mesh the capacity of methodologies to extend. Think ultra-out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you generate magnetically then you may also upgrade virally. The aptitude to scale perfectly leads to the ability to morph macro-virtually. We think that most co-branded, extensible web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for relationships? Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. If you engineer iteravely, you may have to synergize micro-mega-micro-globally. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely completely realistic! What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"? What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our efficient TQC but our power to seize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQM but our ability to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the term "e-services" really mean? We have come to know that if you integrate virally then you may also innovate proactively. We believe we know that it is better to implement proactively than to engage holistically. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be affiliate-based? We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to orchestrate cyber-strategically than to unleash nano-vertically. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. We will mesh the term "proactive". What does the industry jargon "cyber-process management" really mean? The web-readiness factor is world-class. Think proactive. Think enterprise. Think scalable, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-used term "project management" really mean? We will widen our capacity to maximize without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. Think long-term. Without development, you will lack infomediaries. At ABC, we think we know how to drive dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge R&D" really mean? A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point) be able to evolve easily. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The cross-platform data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think C2B2B. Think extensible. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the capacity of power shifts to embrace. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. We think we know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also streamline proactively.