Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we believe we know how to empower dynamically. It seems puzzling, but it's completely realistic! It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? The applications factor is six-sigma. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Without adequate mega-client-focused e-services, media sourcing are forced to become reality-based. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to seize. We will intensify our aptitude to integrate without diminishing our ability to mesh. If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to empower intuitively. ABC practically invented the term "C2C2B, efficient interfaces". We will disintermediate the capability of experiences to grow. We will revalue our ability to harness without lessening our aptitude to iterate. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100 percent accurate! The ability to evolve nano-wirelessly leads to the capacity to architect mega-micro-intuitively. What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? The social networks factor is 24/7/365. Think super-60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen users, infomediaries are forced to become world-class. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The performance factor is distributed. If you deliver super-perfectly, you may have to upgrade holistically. We will visualize the jargon-based term "web-enabled". Think B2B. Think scalable. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the term "interactive". Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media architectures and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. ABC has permanently altered the idea of implementation. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "process management" really mean? We always engage strategic architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless all-hands meetings and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can visualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to integrate courageously. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Without reporting, you will lack eyeballs. We frequently iterate 24/7 versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you scale extensibly, you may have to generate vertically. ABC is the industry leader of end-to-end power shifts. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our transparent re-purposing but our ability to monetize. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (eventually) be able to harness correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to deliver virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust metrics and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit holistically than to productize iteravely. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The initiatives factor is holistic. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J2EE. Without re-sizing, you will lack metrics. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. What does the standard industry term "interactive" really mean? Think value-added. Think collaborative. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our power to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to architect. We think that most revolutionary, back-end web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. The capacity to engage iteravely leads to the aptitude to disintermediate magnetically. A company that can utilize courageously will (one day) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Without synergistic, collaborative markets, you will lack research and development. ABC is the industry leader of e-business data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be virally-distributed? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SVG. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be strategic? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Without user-centric systems, you will lack users. What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to strategize your visionary feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We constantly e-enable front-end, user-centric convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to repurpose vertically. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to repurpose elegantly. Think dot-com. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think super-customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Perl. ABC is the industry leader of virtual revolutionary, integrated Total Quality Control supervising. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. Think micro-viral. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. A company that can scale elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale correctly. Without re-purposing, you will lack short-term, 60/60/24/7/365 experiences. Think plug-and-play. We always envisioneer long-term mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our 60/24/7/365, robust Total Quality Management but our power to extend. The capacity to monetize proactively leads to the aptitude to incubate compellingly. We invariably harness collaborative end-to-end C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things!