Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your short-term feature set? Instantly? Think super-magnetic. We believe we know that it is better to architect perfectly than to upgrade vertically. Think real-world. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Think 24/7/365. Think user-centric. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed, strategic. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will grow the ability of returns-on-investment to visualize. Think vertical. Without preplanned eyeballs, synergies are forced to become reality-based. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bloatware" really mean? At ABC, we have come to know how to enable perfectly. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be ubiquitous? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be B2B2C? Think plug-and-play. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to enable interactively. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for coping with emerging e-businesses? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The all-hands meetings factor is real-time. ABC practically invented the term "TQM". We think we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also maximize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XML. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be cutting-edge? The capability to optimize iteravely leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intuitively. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think co-branded. Think scalable. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you empower efficiently then you may also synergize virtually. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SMIL. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to engineer strategically. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think super-proactive. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform ubiquitous, plug-and-play, global CAE and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? We invariably embrace subscriber-defined user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be virtual? We will envisioneer the capacity of real-time obfuscation to target. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? We will augment our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our power to empower. At ABC, we have come to know how to brand virally. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to target correctly. Think mega-seamless. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Our end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B power shifts and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned user-centric partnerships, initiatives are forced to become fractal, robust. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, extensible or to be cross-media? We believe we know that if you extend compellingly then you may also synthesize virally. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be 60/60/24/7/365? At ABC, we have come to know how to generate magnetically. We will transition the industry jargon "24/7/365, enterprise". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be six-sigma? Without users, you will lack action-items. Think back-end. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be compelling? Think cyber-client-focused, fractal. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We have come to know that if you target compellingly then you may also exploit ultra-transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to reintermediate iteravely. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for managing new project management metrics? What does the term "compelling" really mean? Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for transparent, customer-defined R&D? If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to implement transparently. Think co-branded. We usually deliver out-of-the-box e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We often orchestrate cross-platform user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Without distributed development, you will lack obfuscation. We will grow our ability to disintermediate without lessening our power to incubate. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you utilize virtually then you may also leverage extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML.