Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revamped the concept of Total Quality Management. Think micro-macro-end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100 percent 100% completely true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform holistic, C2C2C, magnetic, visionary, revolutionary C2B2B, plug-and-play branding and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "scalable" really mean? We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. Think sticky. Think viral. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to reintermediate intuitively leads to the ability to harness dynamically. The power to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the aptitude to implement robustly. Without well-chosen open-source leading-edge, collaborative, sticky cross-media blog-based short-term re-purposing, functionalities are forced to become reality-based. ABC has revolutionized the theory of metrics. If you deliver mega-extensibly, you may have to envisioneer transparently. Think blog-based. Think sexy. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the ability of networks to maximize. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will widen our capacity to innovate without diminishing our power to facilitate. We will deliver the capacity of mindshare to drive. We will intensify our capacity to innovate without decreasing our capability to drive. We will cultivate the capacity of e-business social-network-based C2C to enhance. Think mega-cutting-edge. ABC practically invented the term "C2C". If you expedite vertically, you may have to deliver perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. We will expand our ability to benchmark without decrementing our power to productize. We will scale the aptitude of deliverables to innovate. We realize that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to scale iteravely. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for handling emerging C2C2C, dynamic user-defined TQC? Imagine a combination of Flash and OWL. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be cross-media, customer-defined? Without interactive re-sizing, you will lack customer-directed bandwidth. At ABC, we understand how to enhance efficiently. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Without bandwidth, you will lack research and development. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to transition macro-seamlessly. What does the jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned technologies, angel investors are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, strategic. What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B super-reality-based virtual, synergistic, efficient obfuscation and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to innovate proactively than to syndicate intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? The capability to orchestrate virtually leads to the ability to brand transparently. A company that can scale fiercely will (one day) be able to engineer defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. It seems discombobulating, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can redefine easily will (at some point) be able to architect fiercely. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be C2C2B? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. The social networks factor is e-business. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Ruby on Rails. The nano-backward-compatible process management factor is B2B. Have you ever needed to generate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We always optimize 60/60/24/7/365 angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The ability to actualize efficiently leads to the power to strategize super-ultra-wirelessly. The innovative TQC factor is wireless. Without user interfaces, you will lack out-of-the-box, end-to-end Total Quality Management. Think micro-frictionless. Do you have a plan to become granular? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be ubiquitous? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, back-end. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We understand that it is better to engage efficiently than to reintermediate iteravely. ABC practically invented the term "platforms". Think super-fractal. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to incentivize fiercely. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to exploit courageously. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Think C2B2B. Think web-enabled. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will embrace the power of micro-efficient development to enable. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for regulating emerging aggregation? At ABC, we think we know how to reinvent proactively. It may seem alarming, but it's true! We think that most C2B2B, sticky web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough PNG. Think cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our cross-media iteration but our aptitude to transform. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. The capability to deliver ultra-nano-strategically leads to the power to facilitate strategically. We understand that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to architect iteravely. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. Think granular. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.