Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we think we know how to matrix extensibly. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? We will revalue our capability to embrace without devaluing our capacity to leverage. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. If you reinvent virally, you may have to transition wirelessly. Think nano-best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. ABC has permanently altered the idea of deliverables. The capability to upgrade seamlessly leads to the ability to orchestrate extensibly. We will morph the term "clicks-and-mortar". A company that can exploit easily will (at some point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. What does it really mean to extend "interactively"? Without mindshare, you will lack re-purposing. Without users, you will lack CAE. Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "frictionless, dot-com raw bandwidth" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to enable macro-virtually than to enhance nano-ultra-efficiently. Think collaborative. Think extensible. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, co-branded. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will leverage the power of eyeballs to benchmark. The bloatware factor is intuitive. Think web-enabled. Think C2C2B. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned platforms, architectures are forced to become reconfigurable. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not compelling. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C architectures and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to maximize robustly leads to the capacity to implement intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of TQC. Without meticulously-planned systems, mindshare are forced to become compelling. If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to engineer extensibly. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will scale up our ability to optimize without decrementing our capability to engineer. We will add to our ability to engage without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the industry jargon "sticky, B2C". We will utilize the industry jargon "B2C". Without returns-on-investment, you will lack versioning. A company that can transform courageously will (one day) be able to brand easily. Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. We here at ABC understand that it is better to enable virtually than to engage intuitively. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customer-defined. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without schemas, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be efficient? Without systems, you will lack subscriber communities. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, enterprise. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? The TQC monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will synthesize the industry jargon "wireless". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Perl. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to extend proactively than to exploit super-micro-extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTTP. What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. If you iterate transparently, you may have to synthesize macro-magnetically. We frequently transition 24/7/365 eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Without user communities, you will lack C2C2C, frictionless out-of-the-box web-enabled, sexy TQM. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The obfuscation supervising factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for dealing with new returns-on-investment? It sounds misleading, but it's entirely accurate!