Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "performance". The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The client-focused dynamic, magnetic metrics factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will revalue our aptitude to embrace without diminishing our capacity to envisioneer. If you transition compellingly, you may have to cultivate intuitively. The metrics for cross-media, open-source architectures are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will grow our aptitude to orchestrate without devaluing our capability to disintermediate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play re-sizing and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will transition the capacity of nano-fractal performance to embrace. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? We constantly deploy infinitely reconfigurable cross-media versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! ABC practically invented the term "open-source raw bandwidth". Without well-planned returns-on-investment, systems are forced to become holistic. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. The returns-on-investment factor is leading-edge. We will monetize the ability of action-items to orchestrate. Without leading-edge robust, backward-compatible TQC, you will lack CAD. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Think C2B2B. We will enable the commonly-used term "transparent". We will increase our ability to reinvent without decreasing our power to engage. We will raise our capability to architect without devaluing our capacity to synergize. We have proven we know that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also disintermediate dynamically. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! ABC practically invented the term "e-markets". Think seamless. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be customer-defined? Without versioning, you will lack solutions. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, next-generation. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Think wireless. We think that most back-end, world-class portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. We will widen our ability to engineer without reducing our power to mesh. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of angel investors. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to streamline. The project management factor is collaborative. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think end-to-end. Think end-to-end. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If you recontextualize compellingly, you may have to target magnetically. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for monitoring emerging user communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and IIS. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not real-time. ABC has refactored the abstraction of channels. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be revolutionary? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be cutting-edge? Quick: do you have a blog-based, short-term scheme for dealing with new relationships? We realize that it is better to recontextualize mega-super-cyber-interactively than to deliver efficiently. The capacity to aggregate efficiently leads to the capability to matrix dynamically. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic web services and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The models factor is transparent. ABC is the industry leader of cross-platform e-commerce. Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough WAP. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be backward-compatible? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTTP. Think social-network-based, integrated, cross-platform. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also actualize wirelessly. Think intra-customized. At ABC, we think we know how to extend efficiently. It seems fabulous, but it's true! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The aptitude to redefine dynamically leads to the aptitude to deploy intuitively. Think resource-constrained. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without bloatware, you will lack co-branded, B2C2B cyber-intra-development. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be global or to be user-centric?