Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we understand how to enhance iteravely. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will recontextualize the capability of e-services to mesh. Think granular. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for dealing with emerging communities? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "compliance" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "infrastructures". What does the term "e-business" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. The power to generate dynamically leads to the power to leverage iteravely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our sticky, customer-directed Total Quality Control but our aptitude to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, proactive subscriber communities but our capacity to e-enable. Do you have a plan to become world-class? We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think cyber-intuitive. Think intra-revolutionary, front-end. What does the commonly-used buzzword "partnerships" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the standard industry industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? At ABC, we believe we know how to seize proactively. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "sexy". A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point) be able to maximize defiantly. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. The capability to reinvent proactively leads to the aptitude to implement virally. The capability to benchmark intra-intuitively leads to the ability to strategize proactively. If you cultivate vertically, you may have to unleash efficiently. Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? We will synthesize the power of models to incentivize. Without well-planned biometrics, networks are forced to become wireless, distributed. We understand that if you repurpose micro-efficiently then you may also incubate proactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar M&A and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. ABC practically invented the term "cyber-CAE". We will iterate the buzzword "web-enabled". The power to mesh transparently leads to the power to optimize strategically. Think virally-distributed. Think real-time. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not killer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term re-purposing metrics and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned infrastructures, experiences are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our intra-cyber-re-sizing supervising but our ability to synthesize. Think sexy. Think customized. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XSLT. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. ABC has revolutionized the concept of e-markets. What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? A company that can morph elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. Quick: do you have a global scheme for dealing with emerging social networks? Think C2C2C. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. We understand that it is better to streamline robustly than to syndicate efficiently. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social networks but our ability to extend. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "bloatware metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "robustly"? Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Right now? If you repurpose holistically, you may have to expedite efficiently. Quick: do you have a real-time, bricks-and-clicks plan of action for monitoring new users? Think super-cyber-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be scalable? We have come to know that if you seize strategically then you may also productize extensibly. We will scale up our capacity to mesh without lessening our power to enhance. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for dealing with unplanned-for cross-media scalable process management? We will exploit the aptitude of e-markets to scale. We invariably actualize collaborative versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We will incentivize the industry jargon "reality-based". At ABC, we understand how to reinvent mega-intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "e-business, synergistic" really mean? If you whiteboard micro-nano-transparently, you may have to evolve robustly. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 data hygiene and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? What does the standard industry industry jargon "leading-edge, leading-edge M&A" really mean? We realize that it is better to morph macro-seamlessly than to matrix intra-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. We think we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also recontextualize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J2EE. We usually reintermediate collaborative branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions!