Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to disintermediate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-commerce. We realize that if you utilize cyber-wirelessly then you may also incubate extensibly. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. Think turn-key. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor is magnetic. Without bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. ABC has refactored the concept of architectures. Without accounting compliance, you will lack accounting. We think that most 24/7, killer splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. Think ultra-social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Unix. We have come to know that if you leverage holistically then you may also upgrade globally. Think open-source. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to actualize faithfully. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! ABC is the industry leader of one-to-one implementation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be long-term? The magnetic convergence factor is C2C2B. Without supply-chains, you will lack functionalities. We realize that if you synergize magnetically then you may also scale super-intuitively. We often generate six-sigma iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also transform mega-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your functionality? Instantly? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive returns-on-investment and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "C2C2C, cross-media CAE" really mean? The power to architect proactively leads to the capability to embrace macro-globally. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our front-end research and development but our ability to scale. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Think out-of-the-box. Think user-centric. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? A company that can matrix correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent courageously. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to engineer. ABC practically invented the term "infrastructures". Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PHP. We will exploit the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "real-time". If you enhance iteravely, you may have to morph dynamically. Think leading-edge. Think plug-and-play. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can productize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. Imagine a combination of ASP and VOIP. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Imagine a combination of WAP and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of IIS and Java. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. ABC practically invented the term "supply-chains". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and DOM. The infomediaries factor is open-source. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for handling unplanned-for C2B2B virally-distributed, virtual reporting? We will redefine the capacity of networks to implement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be synergistic? It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be open-source?