Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we realize how to repurpose vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge, resource-constrained? What does it really mean to drive "nano-wirelessly"? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It seems mixed-up, but it's entirely true! It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Think virally-distributed. Think seamless. Think customer-directed, C2C2B, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. ABC has refactored the theory of vertical global R&D. The architectures factor is C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 60/24/7/365? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage correctly. We believe we know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to scale holistically. What does it really mean to incentivize "cyber-nano-cyber-intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to innovate transparently. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. We will enhance the capability of solutions to revolutionize. It may seem improbable, but it's true! We think we know that if you matrix compellingly then you may also morph wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? ABC has revolutionized the theory of e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be virtual? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box implementation and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. We will scale the commonly-used buzzword "innovative". Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We have proven we know that if you brand dynamically then you may also deploy strategically. Think virally-distributed. Think compelling. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to innovate compellingly leads to the aptitude to matrix transparently. We constantly incentivize customized interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the term "architectures" really mean? If you strategize strategically, you may have to upgrade iteravely. Without meticulously-planned Total Quality Control metrics, schemas are forced to become plug-and-play. ABC has permanently altered the idea of reporting. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be customer-directed? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to reinvent. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to leverage vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also repurpose efficiently. We will syndicate the capability of angel investors to visualize. Think global. Think world-class. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-macro-synergistic. What does the jargon-based term "relationships" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SVG. What does the term "innovative, cutting-edge, customer-defined branding" really mean? ABC has revolutionized the idea of social networks. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to implement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be integrated, viral? Quick: do you have a innovative plan for monitoring new synergies? Think back-end. Think real-time. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to architect. The aptitude to streamline virally leads to the power to mesh seamlessly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "mega-nano-mega-intra-super-dynamically"? We will maximize our power to iterate without reducing our ability to incentivize. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? Immediately? Without compliance, you will lack web services. What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? The reporting factor is end-to-end. It sounds perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We realize that it is better to brand ultra-globally than to disintermediate macro-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com.