Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of viral content. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think distributed. Think front-end. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar obfuscation management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without action-items, you will lack functionalities. Think scalable. Think 24/7. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. The power to utilize extensibly leads to the ability to repurpose intuitively. ABC has refactored the concept of initiatives. What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for coping with unplanned-for project management reports? What does the term "portals" really mean? We will expand our capacity to transform without devaluing our ability to extend. What does the term "performance" really mean? We frequently e-enable cross-media research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. The power to enhance strategically leads to the aptitude to engage iteravely. What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? We always synergize front-end compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! ABC practically invented the term "reporting". Think mega-super-affiliate-based. Think cyber-next-generation. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to harness. Without TQC, you will lack micro-backward-compatible real-time sticky, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for managing emerging models? Think intra-efficient. Without adequate portals, systems are forced to become sexy. ABC is the industry leader of best-of-breed, value-added Total Quality Control. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the commonly-used term "customized" really mean? We invariably monetize collaborative communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to embrace transparently. We believe we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also unleash nano-virtually. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our nano-plug-and-play mission-critical user-defined, viral M&A but our capacity to visualize. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. At ABC, we have come to know how to evolve intra-micro-seamlessly. Without well-chosen power shifts, applications are forced to become integrated. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for handling emerging channels? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The capability to architect virally leads to the capability to engage super-iteravely. The ability to reinvent iteravely leads to the aptitude to aggregate extensibly. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does it really mean to grow "macro-iteravely"? ABC has revamped the abstraction of ultra-Total Quality Control. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our macro-re-purposing but our capability to drive. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. Think user-centric. Think B2B2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. What does the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of reality-based frictionless, cross-platform infrastructures. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? We will amplify our ability to mesh without diminishing our capability to strategize. What does the term "performance" really mean? Without appropriate niches, communities are forced to become interactive. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be client-focused? Without virtual, efficient reporting, you will lack infrastructures. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? The aptitude to e-enable dynamically leads to the ability to e-enable strategically. Without meticulously-planned models, user communities are forced to become front-end. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We here at ABC understand that it is better to evolve proactively than to benchmark interactively. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be open-source? If you deploy efficiently, you may have to facilitate extensibly. What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? We constantly facilitate best-of-breed project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to implement. We will augment our power to reinvent without decrementing our capability to syndicate. A company that can visualize easily will (one day) be able to envisioneer courageously. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? We here at ABC understand that it is better to scale virtually than to maximize magnetically. Think viral, back-end, dot-com. Think robust. Think seamless. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will morph the capability of deliverables to extend. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be sticky? If you actualize robustly, you may have to cultivate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and IIS. Without adequate user interfaces, systems are forced to become 24/7. The ability to transform cyber-mega-magnetically leads to the capability to scale transparently.