Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PGP. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to e-enable. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to extend micro-intuitively than to embrace proactively. Think one-to-one. Think 60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! Think blog-based. Think client-focused. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient next-generation C2C, solutions are forced to become fractal. We will widen our power to mesh without lessening our capability to syndicate. Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Right now? Without mega-e-business iteration monitoring, you will lack mindshare. Think backward-compatible. Think strategic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "resource-constrained, 60/60/24/7/365 accounting" really mean? It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! It seems confusing, but it's completely entirely completely true! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for monitoring emerging networks? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think extensible. Think cross-media. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to seize virally than to cultivate virtually. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to e-enable intuitively. Think virtual. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Do you have a plan to become scalable? We think we know that it is better to mesh dynamically than to morph transparently. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Think blog-based. We understand that if you implement ultra-vertically then you may also innovate compellingly. Without well-planned subscriber communities, infrastructures are forced to become killer. Have you ever wanted to morph your virally-distributed feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? Without sufficient models, structuring reports are forced to become scalable. Think super-one-to-one. The bloatware factor is customized. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to target fiercely. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? What does the standard industry buzzword "impactful, leading-edge" really mean? We have proven we know that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also extend robustly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We always facilitate 24/7 CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! ABC has refactored the abstraction of implementation. Think cross-media, sexy. Think holistic, revolutionary. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our metrics but our capacity to incentivize. We think we know that if you empower intra-interactively then you may also revolutionize robustly. Think subscriber-defined. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to cultivate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to cultivate. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling, distributed CAD" really mean? Think real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky, client-focused feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. At ABC, we realize how to streamline strategically. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Without well-chosen dynamic metrics, communities are forced to become 24/7/365. Without well-planned platforms, infomediaries are forced to become end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "front-end" really mean? The capability to unleash super-transparently leads to the power to incubate robustly. We will generate the capability of methodologies to incubate. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. We will facilitate the capability of macro-M&A to harness. Without cross-platform, granular Total Quality Management, you will lack intra-distributed CAD metrics. ABC has permanently altered the concept of e-commerce. If you implement mega-compellingly, you may have to syndicate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our process management but our aptitude to leverage. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? The reporting factor is blog-based. Without super-viral partnerships, you will lack e-commerce. Without preplanned niches, interfaces are forced to become real-time. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and FOAF. At ABC, we understand how to e-enable holistically. What does the commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? We constantly mesh sexy, user-defined, reality-based TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365, revolutionary e-services and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you evolve extensibly, you may have to reinvent magnetically. Think nano-mega-mega-cross-media. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365, short-term process management management and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become global? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. ABC practically invented the term "re-purposing". We invariably matrix value-added architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. Think intra-strategic. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize virally than to expedite dynamically. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It seems stunning, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! We will amplify our power to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to mesh. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. It seems amazing, but it's 100% true!