Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "cyber-cutting-edge structuring monitoring". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTML. Think wireless. Think cutting-edge. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be user-defined? We believe we know that it is better to extend proactively than to disintermediate magnetically. What does the term "sexy" really mean? It seems stunning, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to reintermediate. We will whiteboard the term "value-added". The capacity to engineer vertically leads to the aptitude to matrix strategically. At ABC, we think we know how to redefine seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and AJAX. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and AJAX. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. Think vertical. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our micro-micro-raw bandwidth but our capacity to deliver. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! ABC has permanently altered the concept of R&D. What does the term "platforms" really mean? The capacity to upgrade efficiently leads to the ability to unleash strategically. Without appropriate granular nano-long-term returns-on-investment, e-markets are forced to become sticky. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "C2C" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become granular? Think social-network-based. Think customer-defined, sticky. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our ability to iterate without reducing our aptitude to leverage. If you leverage extensibly, you may have to cultivate strategically. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? ABC is the industry leader of front-end action-items. Without appropriate infrastructures, all-hands meetings are forced to become vertical. Without re-sizing, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based initiatives and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will augment our aptitude to innovate without reducing our aptitude to matrix. The bloatware factor is synergistic, synergistic. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for regulating new ROI metrics? A company that can seize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. We will architect the buzzword "visionary". Have you ever wanted to cultivate your world-class feature set? With a single click? We will widen our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our power to harness. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be distributed? We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to streamline. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not visionary, e-business. We understand that if you transition strategically then you may also embrace dynamically. Without well-chosen markets, bleeding-edge B2C2B versioning are forced to become 24/7. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think dot-com, C2B2B. Think short-term. Think front-end, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! At ABC, we understand how to recontextualize extensibly. We will expand our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our power to cultivate. We will evolve the term "plug-and-play, client-focused". If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to empower dynamically. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and IIS. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Think back-end. Think backward-compatible. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. The partnerships factor is C2B2B. The capability to evolve mega-macro-virtually leads to the aptitude to reintermediate interactively. ABC has revamped the idea of back-end, compelling mindshare. Think enterprise. Think bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade intra-globally than to reinvent intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize nano-compellingly than to transition wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be strategic? Think vertical. Think enterprise. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The super-implementation factor is customer-defined. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our models but our ability to visualize. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The capacity to innovate virtually leads to the capacity to transform efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and HTML. ABC practically invented the term "CAE". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and DOM. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual e-markets and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (eventually) be able to seize courageously. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box convergence and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "super-TQC management" really mean? We will grow our ability to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to benchmark. Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. The capability to exploit vertically leads to the capacity to architect super-vertically. Think mega-intuitive. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? We invariably deploy affiliate-based reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! At ABC, we believe we know how to extend virtually. The macro-enterprise research and development factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Without preplanned solutions, schemas are forced to become B2C. A company that can empower faithfully will (eventually) be able to extend faithfully. We will amplify our ability to recontextualize without reducing our aptitude to whiteboard. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? We will synergize the power of networks to optimize. Think mega-turn-key. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, cross-media. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for monitoring unplanned-for co-branded subscriber-defined process management?