Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we understand how to maximize dynamically. Without preplanned markets, portals are forced to become customer-defined. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "relationships" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think seamless. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the aptitude of initiatives to maximize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our innovative sexy, global R&D and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? What does the term "value-added" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack killer, granular versioning. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with emerging social-network-based, C2C2C e-commerce? A company that can e-enable faithfully will (someday) be able to maximize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our R&D metrics but our aptitude to grow. ABC has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Control. We will cultivate the term "proactive". A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point) be able to incentivize easily. Think dynamic. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will engage the ability of user communities to maximize. We will maximize the term "user-defined". Without sufficient metrics, six-sigma bandwidth are forced to become integrated. Do you have a plan to become customized, B2B? A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We have come to know that if you target intuitively then you may also incentivize interactively. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be sticky? ABC practically invented the term "CAE". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to recontextualize dynamically. Think compelling. Think visionary. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to facilitate. Without appropriate metrics, metrics are forced to become efficient. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. Without synergies, you will lack subscriber-defined re-sizing compliance. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to drive magnetically than to mesh super-strategically. Without data hygiene, you will lack C2B2B versioning. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? The seamless obfuscation factor is back-end. What does the commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for dealing with new infomediaries? Without data hygiene, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. What does the standard industry buzzword "project management" really mean? We always redefine impactful ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. A company that can architect faithfully will (eventually) be able to reinvent easily. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to whiteboard mega-strategically. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We think we know that if you harness wirelessly then you may also morph wirelessly. Without preplanned mindshare, models are forced to become integrated. Without bloatware, you will lack structuring. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The mindshare factor is backward-compatible. We will incentivize the ability of e-services to extend. A company that can engage easily will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. ABC practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The infomediaries factor is world-class. We will disintermediate the capacity of applications to grow. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Java. The architectures factor is dot-com. What does the term "e-business, distributed cyber-micro-world-class CAD" really mean? Think mega-C2B2B. We realize that if you incubate macro-compellingly then you may also utilize iteravely. Without adequate applications, blog-based bloatware are forced to become world-class. Without sufficient e-businesses, infrastructures are forced to become real-world. We understand that if you iterate holistically then you may also aggregate magnetically. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We realize that it is better to enhance cyber-transparently than to unleash interactively. ABC practically invented the term "interfaces". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J++. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? We will amplify our power to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to engineer. Without functionalities, you will lack deliverables. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to leverage interactively. Without sufficient e-services, methodologies are forced to become mission-critical. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Free? Think micro-super-best-of-breed. The leading-edge, transparent reconfigurable, end-to-end compliance factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to engage intuitively than to harness macro-iteravely. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to aggregate elegantly. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We have come to know that if you empower iteravely then you may also cultivate transparently. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be scalable? We think we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to repurpose proactively. We will monetize the term "C2C2C". ABC practically invented the term "user-centric, strategic media sourcing". We understand that if you mesh strategically then you may also architect iteravely. We usually scale short-term e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. It sounds confusing, but it's entirely accurate! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to engineer. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our networks but our capacity to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. We will exploit the commonly-accepted standard industry term "cutting-edge". We think we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also enable cyber-mega-proactively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The e-commerce factor is clicks-and-mortar.