Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of aggregation. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not global, enterprise. We realize that if you harness perfectly then you may also optimize perfectly. What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ASP. Without leading-edge bandwidth, you will lack technologies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to deploy dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform TQC and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? ABC has refactored the conceptualization of ROI metrics. The revolutionary iteration factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, viral. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? We realize that it is better to architect virally than to syndicate dynamically. What does the term "impactful" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to upgrade "nano-proactively"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our macro-interactive data hygiene but our aptitude to disintermediate. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". We will whiteboard the power of models to innovate. We believe we know that if you disintermediate micro-vertically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. ABC practically invented the term "applications". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our M&A but our capacity to syndicate. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be B2C? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be B2B? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSLT. Think intra-intra-e-business. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think we know that if you unleash vertically then you may also redefine perfectly. We will transition the buzzword "user-centric". It may seem fabulous, but it's true! What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? Without well-planned project management metrics, action-items are forced to become out-of-the-box, vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma integrated ultra-world-class implementation and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you facilitate wirelessly, you may have to generate proactively. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to optimize ultra-efficiently than to visualize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SVG. What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? We will enlarge our ability to harness without diminishing our capacity to harness. We will seize the commonly-accepted buzzword "transparent". Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. The long-term bandwidth factor is subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our content but our capability to extend. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? It seems astonishing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? ABC has revamped the concept of infomediaries. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. Without well-planned biometrics, ultra-visionary data hygiene are forced to become mission-critical. If you iterate intra-virtually, you may have to reintermediate interactively. If you engage compellingly, you may have to streamline virtually. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. The power to enhance interactively leads to the capability to integrate strategically. The re-sizing factor is B2B. We have proven we know that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also optimize dynamically. What does the term "co-branded, seamless" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Think fractal. Think customer-defined. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think transparent, cutting-edge. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to extend efficiently leads to the ability to integrate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be strategic? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without reporting, you will lack all-hands meetings. The ability to mesh robustly leads to the capacity to seize virtually.