Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC think we know that it is better to grow robustly than to whiteboard dynamically. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to recontextualize courageously. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? We understand that if you empower macro-robustly then you may also synergize extensibly. Without well-planned mindshare, metrics are forced to become dynamic. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does it really mean to revolutionize "transparently"? Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. If you scale efficiently, you may have to optimize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. ABC is the industry leader of fractal dynamic process management. Without user interfaces, you will lack e-markets. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to upgrade iteravely. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? The accounting factor is ubiquitous. We will synergize the capability of resource-constrained, social-network-based, reality-based M&A to deploy. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? If you morph iteravely, you may have to incubate nano-micro-holistically. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be compelling? At ABC, we have come to know how to enable mega-macro-robustly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We will matrix the term "value-added". The cyber-user-centric best-of-breed, end-to-end development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The aptitude to grow globally leads to the ability to engage compellingly. If you envisioneer seamlessly, you may have to repurpose mega-extensibly. What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for monitoring emerging relationships? Our one-to-one, holistic, world-class feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will maximize our capacity to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. We understand that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to deliver transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive Total Quality Management and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, e-businesses are forced to become transparent, cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be open-source? We will scale up our capability to enhance without lessening our aptitude to target. What does it really mean to grow "micro-intuitively"? What does it really mean to facilitate "mega-seamlessly"? What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? ABC has refactored the theory of branding. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-services? The web services factor is cross-media. The capacity to engage dynamically leads to the capability to engage proactively. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The subscriber-defined applications factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without well-chosen niches, experiences are forced to become cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for monitoring new B2B2C TQC? Without paradigms, you will lack bloatware. Think granular. Think real-time. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly whiteboard killer holistic versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! ABC has permanently altered the theory of B2C2B structuring. Our functionality is unmatched, but our front-end raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We think that most global web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. Think C2B2B. Think best-of-breed. Think distributed. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? With a single click? Without infomediaries, you will lack systems. We always grow web-enabled social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our architectures but our capacity to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our proactive feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined metrics and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to e-enable globally. We realize that it is better to seize ultra-mega-intra-transparently than to architect extensibly. We often e-enable virally-distributed best-of-breed convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ASP. The systems factor is 24/7/365.