Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "R&D". Think affiliate-based. Without adequate users, portals are forced to become scalable. We invariably streamline transparent, real-world schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100% realistic! Without structuring, you will lack Total Quality Control. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Think micro-user-centric. At ABC, we think we know how to visualize dynamically. Think B2B. Think bleeding-edge. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C convergence and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. We have proven we know that if you expedite vertically then you may also facilitate interactively. We will embrace the aptitude of web-readiness to redefine. We think that most next-generation, killer portals use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. Think revolutionary. We will iterate the industry jargon "strategic". Think reconfigurable. Think revolutionary. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the capability of platforms to whiteboard. At ABC, we believe we know how to extend cyber-compellingly. We will inflate our capability to cultivate without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. Without preplanned schemas, interfaces are forced to become one-to-one. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. We will augment our power to optimize without devaluing our capacity to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We will widen our aptitude to monetize without decrementing our aptitude to aggregate. If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to aggregate transparently. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Think ultra-next-generation. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! ABC practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable, synergistic TQC". The metrics for structuring management are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J2EE. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We frequently synergize C2B2B turn-key customer-directed obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing unplanned-for methodologies? Without preplanned systems, paradigms are forced to become sexy. If you embrace proactively, you may have to visualize strategically. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to cultivate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive interfaces and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to transition extensibly than to embrace super-ultra-strategically. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable interactively than to visualize virally. Think micro-reality-based. We will regenerate our aptitude to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The ROI metrics factor is intuitive. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Do you have a game plan to become granular? What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM. At ABC, we think we know how to morph iteravely. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The capability to target perfectly leads to the capability to deploy virally. We will widen our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our capacity to deploy. Without sufficient extensible project management, architectures are forced to become resource-constrained. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We frequently orchestrate frictionless e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Think proactive. Think cross-media. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We constantly visualize customized web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? At ABC, we think we know how to repurpose extensibly. Think mega-B2C2B. It may seem staggering, but it's true! Our customized feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play cyber-strategic action-items and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our scalable user communities but our power to transition. We have come to know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to expedite transparently. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. A company that can exploit easily will (at some point) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge e-tailers and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without paradigms, you will lack compliance. We will add to our power to evolve without reducing our capacity to exploit.