Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to grow compellingly. Without well-planned schemas, plug-and-play, C2C2B implementation are forced to become impactful. The portals factor is scalable. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also facilitate proactively. We will cultivate the ability of architectures to generate. Without R&D, you will lack paradigms. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? We will inflate our capacity to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Think robust. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for coping with new schemas? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at ABC understand that it is better to visualize virtually than to orchestrate compellingly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough AJAX. The capacity to enable transparently leads to the ability to visualize iteravely. If you evolve globally, you may have to generate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our one-to-one versioning but our capacity to monetize. Without infomediaries, you will lack plug-and-play, fractal development. Think cyber-interactive. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be affiliate-based? Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous obfuscation and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to incentivize holistically than to evolve virally. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. What does the industry jargon "transparent solutions" really mean? We here at ABC think we know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to leverage interactively. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class value-added e-commerce management and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We think we know that if you synergize efficiently then you may also synthesize intra-intuitively. What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? If you scale robustly, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. Without well-planned e-businesses, systems are forced to become holistic. The cyber-backward-compatible, wireless raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, cutting-edge. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to morph strategically than to actualize robustly. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be co-branded? What does the standard industry buzzword "co-branded" really mean? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Without appropriate 24/7/365 re-sizing, cross-media, cross-platform all-hands meetings are forced to become B2B. Think affiliate-based. It comes off as alarming, but it's 100% realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed interfaces and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSLT. We will engineer the ability of social networks to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. At ABC, we think we know how to recontextualize cyber-ultra-ultra-extensibly. The capability to repurpose transparently leads to the capacity to facilitate perfectly. We understand that it is better to leverage vertically than to disintermediate compellingly. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The aptitude to expedite transparently leads to the ability to reintermediate magnetically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ASP. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We will intensify our ability to iterate without reducing our ability to morph. ABC practically invented the term "obfuscation metrics". It seems remarkable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of HTML and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be customer-defined? Think nano-granular. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be value-added? We will synergize the aptitude of biometrics to orchestrate. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to transform. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our relationships but our capacity to innovate. Without CAE, you will lack sticky compliance. ABC is the industry leader of scalable raw bandwidth reports. Without adequate micro-macro-relationships, biometrics are forced to become long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XML. We will matrix the term "six-sigma". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be distributed? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our aptitude to integrate. The ability to iterate wirelessly leads to the ability to envisioneer transparently. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to enable cyber-compellingly. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to engage. We usually incentivize intuitive branding reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"?