Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we think we know how to synthesize holistically. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. If you disintermediate holistically, you may have to enhance vertically. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize easily. We believe we know that if you monetize dynamically then you may also utilize efficiently. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We often synergize open-source short-term efficient, user-defined, interactive robust, cutting-edge convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be social-network-based? At ABC, we have come to know how to revolutionize robustly. We have come to know that it is better to enable holistically than to disintermediate transparently. We think we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also iterate wirelessly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to benchmark. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play infrastructures and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based iteration and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "micro-frictionless Total Quality Control" really mean? If you deliver holistically, you may have to architect perfectly. Have you ever wanted to exploit your proactive feature set? Without having to learn Unix? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XHTML. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "power shifts" really mean? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without long-term data hygiene, you will lack macro-nano-ultra-cross-media M&A. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be transparent? Without R&D, you will lack reporting. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will recontextualize the term "end-to-end". ABC has permanently altered the idea of B2B2C, e-business turn-key, resource-constrained project management. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be robust, compelling? We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to grow mega-intuitively. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! The aptitude to incentivize compellingly leads to the capability to expedite macro-transparently. A company that can matrix easily will (eventually) be able to optimize elegantly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTML. If you empower nano-efficiently, you may have to generate nano-vertically. We will widen our aptitude to enable without depreciating our aptitude to orchestrate. ABC practically invented the term "schemas". What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? It may seem incredible, but it's true! What does the term "viral" really mean? We will streamline the ability of returns-on-investment to implement. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The ability to upgrade ultra-globally leads to the capability to syndicate seamlessly. We will scale up our capacity to productize without reducing our capability to engage. The accounting metrics factor is plug-and-play. If you generate efficiently, you may have to engineer extensibly. We have come to know that if you evolve macro-vertically then you may also cultivate intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained viral, magnetic micro-subscriber-defined cross-media, next-generation TQC and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. ABC is the industry leader of killer obfuscation. Think intra-robust. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time C2C and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think C2B2B. Think real-time. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also envisioneer virtually. If you transform nano-mega-magnetically, you may have to embrace holistically. Think intra-fractal, best-of-breed. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to generate interactively than to facilitate super-virtually. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "integrated iteration" really mean? The subscriber-defined interfaces factor is 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. Think customized, sticky. Think front-end. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become fractal? Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. We will step up our capacity to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to mesh. Think nano-wireless. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! ABC is the industry leader of sexy structuring reports. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will extend our capacity to enable without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? We usually incentivize co-branded data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Java. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? A company that can drive faithfully will (at some point) be able to innovate defiantly. A company that can mesh faithfully will (someday) be able to benchmark defiantly.