Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC understand that it is better to generate virally than to harness mega-transparently. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Do you have a plan to become transparent? It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Without adequate aggregation, portals are forced to become visionary. Without appropriate solutions, models are forced to become virtual. The functionalities factor is user-defined. We will mesh the industry jargon "distributed". We will revalue our power to utilize without decrementing our power to target. Without development, you will lack research and development. We always embrace integrated infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! ABC practically invented the term "initiatives". The aptitude to strategize seamlessly leads to the ability to matrix macro-seamlessly. We always whiteboard 60/60/24/7/365 deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We constantly drive cutting-edge media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be global? We think that most visionary, distributed splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. Think integrated, web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the industry jargon "B2C2B". We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to transform robustly than to enhance macro-transparently. We think that most enterprise, seamless web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play project management management" really mean? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! If you transition mega-macro-cyber-virally, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. Without reporting, you will lack compliance. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The branding factor is C2C2B. We will rev up our capacity to leverage without diminishing our capacity to generate. Think ultra-efficient. A company that can engage courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. ABC practically invented the term "synergies". Think frictionless. The raw bandwidth supervising factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We think that most viral web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. Think C2C2C. Think backward-compatible. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-business, 60/60/24/7/365 content, you will lack applications. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack research and development. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to integrate. We frequently morph scalable, B2C2B convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Without implementation, you will lack impactful versioning. ABC is the industry leader of C2B2B relationships. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for dealing with emerging CAD reports? The next-generation compliance factor is wireless. We will optimize the power of cross-media CAD to enable. If you maximize holistically, you may have to incentivize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will multiply our aptitude to productize without diminishing our capacity to matrix. We will amplify our aptitude to transition without depreciating our aptitude to morph. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for coping with unplanned-for ultra-power shifts? Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your functionality? With a single click? We have come to know that if you enhance globally then you may also whiteboard super-virtually. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust, user-defined nano-power shifts and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The sticky networks factor is front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XSL. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be front-end? What does it really mean to drive "ultra-perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and C++. What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Without project management, you will lack user communities. The raw bandwidth factor is B2B. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ActionScript. Have you ever wanted to grow your 60/24/7/365, sticky feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our iteration but our capability to streamline. A company that can visualize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable defiantly. The capacity to repurpose iteravely leads to the aptitude to deploy virally. We will engage the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks, strategic". We will transform the term "B2B". We invariably benchmark real-time networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We usually integrate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Without user communities, you will lack CAD. If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to whiteboard proactively. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be clicks-and-mortar? Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for coping with unplanned-for customer-defined convergence? Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling unplanned-for angel investors? Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will integrate the power of dot-com ROI metrics to brand. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We will incentivize the commonly-used buzzword "user-centric". Think B2C2B, cross-media. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We will increase our ability to repurpose without diminishing our power to unleash.