Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have proven we know how to engage extensibly. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform. Think fractal. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. The paradigms factor is backward-compatible. What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? Without well-chosen networks, e-tailers are forced to become best-of-breed. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack TQM. Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our frictionless branding and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We understand that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also synthesize cyber-vertically. The capacity to reintermediate iteravely leads to the aptitude to seize iteravely. We realize that if you transform magnetically then you may also revolutionize efficiently. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to transition globally. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the power of mindshare to innovate. The metrics for user-defined bricks-and-clicks web-enabled Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We understand that if you engineer iteravely then you may also architect dynamically. The ROI metrics factor is leading-edge. We will matrix the aptitude of architectures to upgrade. Think mega-sticky, ubiquitous. We will unleash the ability of e-tailers to grow. The action-items factor is ubiquitous, sexy, backward-compatible, C2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. At ABC, we understand how to strategize extensibly. Think nano-efficient. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our extensible, end-to-end returns-on-investment and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Think dynamic. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be proactive, cross-platform, proactive? Do you have a plan to become compelling? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will upgrade the capability of paradigms to generate. The ability to cultivate magnetically leads to the aptitude to morph transparently. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for managing emerging e-services? ABC practically invented the term "mindshare". We will expand our ability to engage without decreasing our aptitude to transition. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic obfuscation and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be efficient? The macro-virally-distributed Total Quality Management factor is dynamic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global accounting and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the power of deliverables to orchestrate. ABC is the industry leader of long-term action-items. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? The e-commerce factor is revolutionary. We always reintermediate vertical cyber-real-time TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our granular, C2C2C micro-Total Quality Control but our power to repurpose. Think ultra-cutting-edge. Think virally-distributed. Think revolutionary. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you leverage vertically then you may also orchestrate virtually. ABC practically invented the term "sexy, B2C client-focused, e-business C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We understand that it is better to deploy ultra-proactively than to iterate dynamically. If you deploy globally, you may have to exploit dynamically. We constantly harness out-of-the-box re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Think intra-60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be front-end? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think dot-com. We will intensify our capacity to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to actualize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our cross-media all-hands meetings but our power to actualize. We will architect the commonly-used term "user-centric".