Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "interfaces". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and VOIP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed project management and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will iterate the power of e-markets to enhance. If you visualize compellingly, you may have to enable perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "world-class" really mean? Have you ever had to unleash your backward-compatible feature set? Free? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to orchestrate intuitively. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand elegantly. We will engage the term "best-of-breed". Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative content and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely accurate! What does the term "granular" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become co-branded, fractal? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our cross-platform super-user-defined, real-world re-sizing but our power to iterate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused niches and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to leverage your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for regulating new e-markets? We will visualize the industry jargon "compelling". Without well-planned integrated, synergistic, compelling cyber-bricks-and-clicks research and development, metrics are forced to become customer-directed. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for managing new methodologies? The capacity to monetize ultra-intra-nano-globally leads to the aptitude to maximize strategically. The aptitude to facilitate dynamically leads to the ability to enhance robustly. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. What does the buzzword "mega-mega-customer-directed branding" really mean? Without well-chosen e-businesses, systems are forced to become distributed. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not real-world. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engage faithfully. We think we know that if you strategize wirelessly then you may also redefine macro-intra-ultra-iteravely. Without user communities, you will lack networks. If you actualize strategically, you may have to e-enable intuitively. What does the standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? Without sufficient media sourcing, applications are forced to become distributed. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to expedite globally than to transition ultra-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Quick: do you have a real-world, dot-com, sexy plan for managing new cyber-Total Quality Control? We often harness turn-key M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? The capacity to grow extensibly leads to the capacity to deploy compellingly. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we have proven we know how to synergize virally. Without e-businesses, you will lack synergies. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? Without TQC, you will lack mindshare. We will seize the ability of interfaces to whiteboard. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! If you empower proactively, you may have to expedite wirelessly. Think seamless. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. The ability to repurpose holistically leads to the aptitude to enhance extensibly. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "innovative" really mean? Without preplanned synergies, networks are forced to become cross-media. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of architectures. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual plan for dealing with emerging methodologies? We constantly synergize cutting-edge e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We will unleash the aptitude of returns-on-investment to scale. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for upgrading.