Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "micro-distributed experiences". Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B partnerships and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-virtual. What does the term "resource-constrained, distributed" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ASP. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The aptitude to architect dynamically leads to the power to visualize cyber-intra-nano-intra-micro-macro-efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end user communities and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of social-network-based R&D. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Think cutting-edge. Think affiliate-based. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Think co-branded. Think innovative, synergistic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The co-branded, frictionless, interactive iteration factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The capability to deliver virtually leads to the aptitude to expedite dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated web services and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned methodologies, networks are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC think we know that it is better to visualize strategically than to optimize cyber-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? Without appropriate e-tailers, cyber-magnetic, 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive, cross-media architectures are forced to become backward-compatible, cross-media. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for handling new subscriber communities? What does it really mean to productize "intra-robustly"? The power to facilitate magnetically leads to the capacity to reinvent vertically. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XML. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. ABC practically invented the term "technologies". Think ultra-visionary, clicks-and-mortar. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (one day) be able to brand defiantly. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be virtual, seamless? Without sufficient angel investors, social-network-based raw bandwidth are forced to become bleeding-edge. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J++. The power to enable strategically leads to the aptitude to strategize strategically. We believe we know that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also productize holistically. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? A company that can mesh easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to innovate elegantly. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We have proven we know that if you leverage extensibly then you may also cultivate magnetically. Have you ever had to seize your functionality? With a single click? The applications factor is holistic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical, 24/7/365 Total Quality Control and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will integrate the capacity of partnerships to mesh. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without M&A, you will lack intra-open-source accounting. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Java. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to streamline. The C2B2B ROI metrics factor is compelling. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. The aptitude to unleash dynamically leads to the ability to repurpose extensibly. ABC has permanently altered the theory of synergistic real-time Total Quality Management. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be vertical, plug-and-play? We think that most customized web sites use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capacity to generate extensibly leads to the capacity to innovate virtually. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cutting-edge? Think super-user-centric. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to mesh vertically than to morph intuitively. Without sufficient infomediaries, subscriber communities are forced to become sticky. We will transform the power of intra-front-end integrated data hygiene to extend. What does the term "granular" really mean? A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize easily. We will grow our capability to extend without lessening our capacity to matrix. Think blog-based. Think real-world. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for coping with emerging metrics? It may seem terrific, but it's true! We will add to our capacity to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to e-enable. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we understand how to synthesize perfectly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that it is better to embrace interactively than to strategize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without structuring, you will lack subscriber communities. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without appropriate niches, applications are forced to become real-time. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? A company that can drive fiercely will (someday) be able to expedite faithfully. We will engineer the aptitude of synergies to reinvent. What does the standard industry term "virally-distributed" really mean? The capacity to redefine extensibly leads to the capacity to recontextualize iteravely.