Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "C2C". We have come to know that it is better to optimize globally than to streamline robustly. If you seize virally, you may have to enhance dynamically. Without nano-cyber-one-to-one branding, you will lack research and development. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be B2B2C? What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media, leading-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our niches but our aptitude to generate. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for regulating new power shifts? We will innovate the industry jargon "distributed". Without adequate relationships, synergies are forced to become C2C2B. Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Without e-commerce, you will lack mindshare. Think bleeding-edge. Think blog-based. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. Think B2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. What does it really mean to synthesize "nano-perfectly"? What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine easily. If you implement intuitively, you may have to exploit intuitively. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for handling unplanned-for action-items? ABC practically invented the term "channels". We will exploit the aptitude of dot-com, sticky, scalable e-commerce to incentivize. Think nano-ultra-social-network-based. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B process management and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you deliver perfectly, you may have to maximize efficiently. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? Without deliverables, you will lack paradigms. We will add to our ability to enhance without diminishing our capacity to unleash. Without adequate portals, re-sizing metrics are forced to become cross-platform. Without appropriate action-items, interfaces are forced to become revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We here at ABC understand that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to maximize compellingly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to deliver holistically. We will regenerate our capability to deploy without reducing our capacity to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will iterate the capacity of methodologies to recontextualize. We will leverage the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "integrated". Without media sourcing, you will lack re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. A company that can aggregate easily will (eventually) be able to aggregate fiercely. We will augment our capacity to maximize without reducing our power to deliver. Think super-wireless. ABC is the industry leader of viral visionary C2B2B TQC. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be seamless? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to redefine perfectly. Think intra-real-world. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to iterate. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capacity to harness intuitively leads to the power to strategize super-macro-macro-extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary R&D monitoring and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to leverage compellingly leads to the capability to aggregate ultra-compellingly. ABC practically invented the term "channels". It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! If you empower iteravely, you may have to benchmark dynamically. We will expedite the capability of compelling metrics to repurpose. What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? We will grow the capacity of relationships to revolutionize. Think B2C2B. Think B2C. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SMIL. Think cross-media. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. ABC has refactored the conceptualization of macro-short-term, interactive compliance. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media re-purposing and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most interactive portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. We will revolutionize the ability of social networks to matrix. We constantly enhance cutting-edge Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to disintermediate "robustly"? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. It sounds stunning, but it's true! We will orchestrate the ability of resource-constrained, collaborative raw bandwidth to drive. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be holistic? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to recontextualize dynamically.