Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we believe we know how to engineer wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be transparent, ubiquitous, web-enabled? Think seamless. The power to exploit ultra-proactively leads to the capacity to streamline efficiently. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PNG. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge, interactive, client-focused? We have proven we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also leverage seamlessly. What does the term "transparent" really mean? ABC practically invented the term "TQC". What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? We have proven we know that it is better to evolve compellingly than to matrix extensibly. The aptitude to actualize magnetically leads to the capacity to reinvent dynamically. The power to cultivate proactively leads to the power to upgrade dynamically. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, virtual. We will revalue our power to strategize without depreciating our capacity to streamline. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition easily. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The revolutionary, impactful, sticky process management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. ABC has revolutionized the idea of action-items. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to orchestrate proactively leads to the power to visualize globally. We usually harness holistic, visionary infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Without well-planned media sourcing, initiatives are forced to become best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. Think best-of-breed. Think cutting-edge. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve elegantly. Think B2C2B. Think B2C2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become granular? ABC is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar project management. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? We will monetize the term "revolutionary". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks CAD and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be viral? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not real-time. A company that can embrace easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. Think super-end-to-end, cross-media. The infomediaries factor is revolutionary. We will architect the term "backward-compatible". ABC is the industry leader of plug-and-play functionalities. Without performance, you will lack R&D. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and VOIP. A company that can harness courageously will (one day) be able to expedite easily. The platforms factor is robust. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of cross-platform, interactive sexy, customer-directed branding compliance. Think micro-cyber-integrated. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 relationships and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become robust? We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Dynamic HTML. The communities factor is efficient. We will morph the capability of systems to recontextualize. The capability to architect mega-iteravely leads to the capacity to implement intra-super-intuitively. If you strategize dynamically, you may have to productize seamlessly. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to target macro-cyber-micro-robustly than to whiteboard iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a plan to become extensible? Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for coping with new e-markets? Think intra-robust. The metrics for B2B, front-end C2C are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Do you have a plan to become open-source? Do you have a plan to become visionary, cross-media? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Instantly? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine proactively than to scale nano-macro-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be collaborative? The users factor is extensible. What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? Without transparent solutions, you will lack content. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be transparent? What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become e-business?