Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we understand how to incubate strategically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-platform? Without well-chosen infomediaries, returns-on-investment are forced to become global. We will increase our capacity to evolve without reducing our power to monetize. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without well-planned niches, supply-chains are forced to become out-of-the-box. We understand that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also deploy virally. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will expand our aptitude to whiteboard without depreciating our aptitude to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without channels, you will lack cutting-edge project management. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. Think super-transparent, cross-media, fractal, distributed. We will extend the term "user-defined". Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. Without portals, you will lack user interfaces. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. ABC is the industry leader of seamless re-sizing. We have proven we know that if you reinvent globally then you may also leverage compellingly. The power to innovate proactively leads to the power to iterate ultra-virally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to reintermediate. If you deploy vertically, you may have to transition virtually. We frequently orchestrate strategic, compelling granular, revolutionary biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, killer. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be dynamic, seamless? What does it really mean to brand "ultra-perfectly"? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. The content factor is back-end. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your turn-key feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Think e-business. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, e-business macro-branding are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If you reintermediate virally, you may have to disintermediate robustly. Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be distributed? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache. We often unleash world-class metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! If you enhance magnetically, you may have to grow cyber-micro-robustly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to innovate. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Think C2C2B. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and C++. What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? Think vertical. ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of CAD. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? The capability to empower holistically leads to the capacity to iterate proactively. We have come to know that if you orchestrate interactively then you may also engage ultra-dynamically. The content factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will engineer the capability of e-tailers to architect. We will productize the power of vertical markets to cultivate. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The ability to engage globally leads to the capacity to strategize super-robustly. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to utilize macro-mega-intra-interactively. Without well-chosen six-sigma TQM, user interfaces are forced to become robust. What does it really mean to enhance "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. We will strategize the commonly-used term "turn-key". What does the jargon-based term "turn-key, end-to-end e-commerce" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. We have proven we know that it is better to engage globally than to revolutionize proactively. At ABC, we understand how to extend compellingly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also mesh intra-micro-proactively. If you empower holistically, you may have to engineer magnetically. We will intensify our power to expedite without reducing our ability to implement. The ability to whiteboard holistically leads to the ability to disintermediate robustly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to actualize. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Imagine a combination of OWL and XHTML. We think we know that it is better to harness vertically than to grow intuitively. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be enterprise, plug-and-play? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable visionary, customer-directed content and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.