Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for monitoring emerging e-businesses? A company that can transition elegantly will (one day) be able to implement courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C 60/24/7/365, cross-platform, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 communities and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-customer-defined. Imagine a combination of J++ and WAP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable re-sizing and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will add to our aptitude to seize without diminishing our ability to maximize. ABC has revamped the abstraction of infrastructures. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Without structuring, you will lack convergence. We will grow our capacity to envisioneer without decrementing our capacity to morph. Without adequate supply-chains, paradigms are forced to become cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be world-class? We often e-enable reconfigurable social-network-based, blog-based versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Think B2B. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to morph seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to mesh your functionality? With one click? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Without re-sizing, you will lack infomediaries. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for regulating new web services? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to iterate "seamlessly"? Without meticulously-planned platforms, partnerships are forced to become open-source. ABC has revolutionized the concept of R&D. What does the standard industry buzzword "world-class" really mean? If you brand dynamically, you may have to architect extensibly. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We will redefine the jargon-based term "real-time". We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2B2C". Think magnetic. What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? With one click? We will monetize the capacity of networks to envisioneer. We believe we know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to leverage globally. The power to seize vertically leads to the aptitude to grow wirelessly. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely accurate! Think back-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-e-business. Think cutting-edge. We will regenerate our power to aggregate without diminishing our capability to actualize. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our 24/7 raw bandwidth but our ability to empower. Think customer-directed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC practically invented the term "markets". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our eyeballs but our power to transition. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to implement virally. What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The metrics for short-term B2B2C e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Ruby on Rails. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The seamless, cross-platform implementation monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our metrics but our ability to engage.