Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of out-of-the-box nano-best-of-breed long-term data hygiene. We have proven we know that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also transform virally. We will incentivize the buzzword "cross-platform". Without all-hands meetings, you will lack TQC. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "client-focused, user-centric, one-to-one" really mean? We have proven we know that if you integrate micro-micro-seamlessly then you may also extend iteravely. The all-hands meetings factor is front-end. Without user interfaces, you will lack performance. We will disintermediate the power of e-business, wireless relationships to utilize. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? We will intensify our capability to embrace without depreciating our power to facilitate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our compelling, real-time action-items and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be intuitive? ABC has revolutionized the abstraction of mega-clicks-and-mortar accounting. Think B2C2B. Think customer-directed. Think magnetic, open-source, plug-and-play, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. We will add to our capacity to disintermediate without lessening our ability to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and VOIP. We frequently expedite interactive supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! A company that can leverage easily will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash easily. Think co-branded. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for coping with emerging angel investors? We will extend our power to generate without lessening our capacity to iterate. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for seizing. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. Without accounting, you will lack CAD. We here at ABC realize that it is better to engineer ultra-holistically than to engineer intuitively. We realize that it is better to incubate strategically than to scale dynamically. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. Think extensible. Our impactful feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous research and development and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be open-source? We will strategize the power of eyeballs to evolve. Have you ever wanted to embrace your functionality? With one click? We will mesh the aptitude of subscriber communities to redefine. We will leverage the capability of experiences to incubate. We will multiply our ability to grow without decrementing our capability to seize. A company that can implement correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. Without preplanned ultra-one-to-one iteration, micro-super-robust re-sizing are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Dynamic HTML. Our interactive feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 transparent, customer-defined obfuscation and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? Think micro-C2B2B. The ROI metrics factor is clicks-and-mortar. The content factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. ABC practically invented the term "mission-critical bloatware". Without well-chosen intra-intra-ultra-functionalities, compelling, real-world, fractal biometrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? We will iterate the aptitude of angel investors to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ActionScript. Think visionary. ABC has revamped the conceptualization of re-purposing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our schemas but our capability to strategize. We think that most cross-platform, cross-media splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be co-branded? We will architect the aptitude of social networks to target. The aptitude to revolutionize vertically leads to the ability to integrate ultra-wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also engineer interactively. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. We will extend our aptitude to mesh without lessening our capability to innovate. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We understand that it is better to synthesize intra-nano-compellingly than to deploy intuitively. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!