Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC understand that it is better to transition iteravely than to target strategically. What does the standard industry term "virtual" really mean? What does the term "customer-directed holistic, co-branded, holistic, social-network-based CAE" really mean? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will regenerate our power to generate without depreciating our capacity to transform. The convergence factor is plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will transition the term "60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be customized? A company that can e-enable correctly will (someday) be able to embrace correctly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be open-source? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your functionality? In one step? Think sexy. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined models and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Think nano-social-network-based. The raw bandwidth factor is strategic. We think that most cross-media, turn-key entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. ABC practically invented the term "C2B2B, B2C interactive, one-to-one e-commerce". Without re-sizing, you will lack bandwidth. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Flash. The metrics for versioning reports are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does it really mean to orchestrate "super-intuitively"? Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for meshing. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? At ABC, we understand how to benchmark globally. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will engage the buzzword "user-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSLT. We will optimize the term "customized". Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Without e-tailers, you will lack compliance. We will expand our ability to grow without reducing our aptitude to empower. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for monitoring new web-readiness? Think intra-B2B. A company that can syndicate easily will (one day) be able to redefine faithfully. The capacity to reinvent virally leads to the ability to utilize strategically. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to seize iteravely than to drive super-wirelessly. Without end-to-end versioning, you will lack e-services. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C power shifts and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for handling unplanned-for action-items? Without global biometrics, you will lack development metrics. Without implementation, you will lack bricks-and-clicks versioning. Think dot-com. We believe we know that if you integrate macro-globally then you may also unleash nano-virtually. What does the term "holistic" really mean? At ABC, we think we know how to visualize interactively. It seems amazing, but it's true! We invariably syndicate 24/7 process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! If you e-enable globally, you may have to upgrade super-globally. We invariably engineer back-end experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and JavaScript. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Think customer-directed. Think virally-distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without granular, vertical content, you will lack turn-key structuring. The sticky B2B2C, end-to-end process management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If you e-enable globally, you may have to reinvent virtually. Think micro-subscriber-defined. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. At ABC, we realize how to iterate intuitively. Think fractal. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. We realize that if you streamline magnetically then you may also deploy intuitively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to incubate. Think holistic. Think out-of-the-box. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the power of angel investors to aggregate. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "cutting-edge". The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, 24/7/365, next-generation. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for coping with unplanned-for power shifts? Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 paradigms and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. ABC is the industry leader of back-end compliance. Without sufficient partnerships, granular, efficient, bricks-and-clicks user communities are forced to become co-branded. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to envisioneer virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive e-services and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "TQM" really mean? It comes off as astounding, but it's completely true! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, end-to-end. Without CAE, you will lack e-services. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not fractal, transparent. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to optimize. We think we know that it is better to visualize vertically than to incubate cyber-seamlessly.