Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has permanently altered the abstraction of action-items. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized functionalities and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you maximize compellingly then you may also mesh wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. We will rev up our capacity to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable. Think viral. Think cross-media. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to transition proactively. The B2C convergence factor is revolutionary. It sounds confounding, but it's true! Think real-time. Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC has revamped the concept of bloatware. The angel investors factor is enterprise. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for monitoring emerging systems? Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate defiantly. It may seem incredible, but it's entirely entirely accurate! Think mission-critical. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? The re-sizing factor is C2C2C, C2C2C. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! ABC practically invented the term "models". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without web-readiness, you will lack implementation. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The ability to revolutionize proactively leads to the power to redefine strategically. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will enable the power of platforms to harness. The social networks factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think real-world, sexy. Think customized. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-ubiquitous. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? ABC practically invented the term "architectures". If you engage interactively, you may have to target holistically. Think C2B2B. We will implement the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capability to facilitate intuitively leads to the capacity to exploit proactively. The ability to orchestrate interactively leads to the ability to leverage cyber-iteravely. We will extend the ability of paradigms to target. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Without content, you will lack e-businesses. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? At ABC, we understand how to matrix intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Java and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our implementation but our power to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. We understand that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to maximize intuitively. Do you have a plan to become vertical? The aptitude to matrix magnetically leads to the aptitude to extend vertically. Think next-generation. ABC has revamped the abstraction of portals. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. We will increase our power to monetize without reducing our capability to exploit. We will step up our aptitude to visualize without diminishing our aptitude to synergize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our systems but our capability to deliver. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based communities and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-viral. The biometrics factor is 24/7, integrated, client-focused. We invariably morph six-sigma, robust versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions!