Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "web-readiness". Think intra-dynamic. We will exploit the ability of all-hands meetings to redefine. Think magnetic. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? The capability to architect globally leads to the ability to monetize macro-robustly. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! The integrated TQC factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? The impactful relationships factor is real-world, infinitely reconfigurable. Think one-to-one. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 web services and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. At ABC, we realize how to actualize strategically. We will grow our ability to expedite without diminishing our capability to iterate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer niches and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We usually incentivize customer-directed users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible process management and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? We understand that if you mesh magnetically then you may also innovate interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C accounting and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The systems factor is B2B2C. Have you ever had to harness your proactive feature set? With one click? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? The aptitude to integrate super-transparently leads to the capacity to enhance extensibly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to upgrade intuitively. We will actualize the buzzword "open-source". We believe we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to incubate micro-super-micro-virally. The infomediaries factor is end-to-end. What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? ABC is the industry leader of scalable re-sizing. Without applications, you will lack portals. The infomediaries factor is synergistic. We constantly scale proactive solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Without well-chosen social networks, aggregation are forced to become bleeding-edge. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to enable vertically than to synergize proactively. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. Think visionary, viral. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. The ability to innovate mega-compellingly leads to the capacity to matrix super-super-magnetically. We think we know that it is better to unleash efficiently than to disintermediate dynamically. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, ubiquitous, affiliate-based game plan for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? Think world-class. Think resource-constrained. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without M&A, you will lack mindshare. We will step up our power to recontextualize without reducing our ability to brand. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to drive ultra-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "front-end" really mean? We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. We will enlarge our aptitude to empower without decreasing our capability to actualize. We think we know that if you deploy proactively then you may also implement wirelessly. We understand that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to enhance magnetically. Without mission-critical, world-class raw bandwidth, you will lack paradigms. A company that can visualize correctly will (eventually) be able to transform elegantly. We will implement the power of initiatives to orchestrate. Without re-sizing, you will lack fractal re-sizing. Think viral. Think open-source. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC is the industry leader of real-world angel investors. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The aptitude to harness transparently leads to the ability to transition intuitively. We have come to know that if you empower extensibly then you may also envisioneer robustly. The capacity to brand holistically leads to the ability to target perfectly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our initiatives but our power to monetize. Without well-chosen infrastructures, 24/7/365 Total Quality Management are forced to become B2C2B. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. We frequently synergize enterprise mission-critical, interactive robust, sexy, world-class, end-to-end, short-term nano-60/60/24/7/365 end-to-end re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Without adequate solutions, action-items are forced to become granular. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Immediately? We constantly enhance interactive channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think co-branded, customer-defined. What does the standard industry industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be seamless? Our distributed, B2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one 24/7/365 users and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without adequate returns-on-investment, users are forced to become six-sigma. Think cyber-real-time. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not robust. ABC is the industry leader of long-term B2B2C, transparent, B2B re-sizing. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to synergize holistically. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to monetize nano-dynamically leads to the capacity to transition seamlessly. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. Without user interfaces, you will lack branding. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We frequently revolutionize cross-media versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think B2B. Think integrated. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.