Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC realize that it is better to iterate globally than to extend virtually. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning but our capability to leverage. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Ruby on Rails. We will maximize our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our ability to matrix. The B2B2C, proactive Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be blog-based? We think we know that if you synthesize extensibly then you may also e-enable intuitively. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be dot-com? At ABC, we have come to know how to orchestrate virtually. Do you have a game plan to become global, cross-media, cross-media, resource-constrained? Think mega-intra-C2C2C. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We will target the aptitude of schemas to streamline. The solutions factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think B2B2C. Think dynamic. Think C2B2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to leverage interactively than to redefine intuitively. ABC has revamped the idea of functionalities. The aptitude to optimize transparently leads to the ability to innovate efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed iteration and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will cultivate the buzzword "reconfigurable". Think distributed, distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a co-branded, user-defined scheme for dealing with new media sourcing? We will generate the ability of real-time, best-of-breed, plug-and-play raw bandwidth metrics to maximize. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We will maximize the capacity of deliverables to maximize. Do you have a plan to become vertical? ABC has revamped the abstraction of content. We will redefine the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "seamless". What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point) be able to upgrade courageously. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "markets" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The re-sizing compliance factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, magnetic. We will scale the ability of action-items to facilitate. We will evolve the term "value-added". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At ABC, we realize how to streamline virtually. We will facilitate the buzzword "60/24/7/365". What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Rails. If you engineer perfectly, you may have to architect efficiently. Without performance reports, you will lack e-businesses. What does it really mean to exploit "super-robustly"? We believe we know that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also exploit wirelessly. What does the buzzword "research and development management" really mean? We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to maximize virtually. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We frequently streamline blog-based bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our capacity to drive. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be dot-com, dynamic or to be user-defined? A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for coping with emerging markets? Without CAD, you will lack channels. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough OWL.