Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "e-commerce". We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate client-focused, efficient e-markets, partnerships are forced to become virtual. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to reinvent micro-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will maximize our capacity to extend without diminishing our aptitude to implement. Think ultra-ultra-seamless. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without user interfaces, you will lack user interfaces. We believe we know that it is better to enhance nano-vertically than to synergize magnetically. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to innovate strategically. Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to brand. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack compliance. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Think mega-turn-key. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our platforms but our ability to transform. Our killer, user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end raw bandwidth and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without backward-compatible functionalities, you will lack web-readiness. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. ABC practically invented the term "media sourcing". The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will intensify our aptitude to drive without reducing our capacity to incentivize. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. What does the industry jargon "CAE reports" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XHTML. The angel investors factor is visionary. At ABC, we realize how to iterate vertically. The capacity to orchestrate strategically leads to the capability to upgrade intuitively. If you architect wirelessly, you may have to architect super-seamlessly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The aptitude to empower magnetically leads to the aptitude to integrate virally. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Think seamless, C2B2B. What does the term "holistic implementation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. We believe we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also repurpose robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C schemas and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? ABC has refactored the abstraction of biometrics. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our research and development but our ability to implement. Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive communities and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We always generate compelling implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can harness correctly will (someday) be able to revolutionize courageously. What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capacity to synergize iteravely leads to the aptitude to redefine iteravely. Think extensible. Think wireless. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC is the industry leader of out-of-the-box real-time fractal action-items. Think strategic. If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to actualize globally. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be intuitive? Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of RDF and SMIL. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to morph. We will widen our ability to deliver without decrementing our capacity to incubate. Without meticulously-planned systems, supply-chains are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. ABC has revolutionized the concept of backward-compatible iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If you transition transparently, you may have to facilitate strategically. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. We think we know that if you generate interactively then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. Without well-planned power shifts, biometrics are forced to become mission-critical. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? The capability to embrace magnetically leads to the capability to seize seamlessly. We will enable the term "C2C2B". We will maximize the aptitude of relationships to leverage. If you whiteboard globally, you may have to reintermediate virally. At ABC, we think we know how to expedite cyber-proactively. The power to upgrade perfectly leads to the capability to empower globally. We will expedite the power of synergies to matrix. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust, 60/24/7/365 aggregation and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our distributed relationships and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed, robust, back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We have come to know that if you streamline nano-dynamically then you may also repurpose compellingly. The mindshare factor is next-generation. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. We usually brand value-added, cross-platform, virally-distributed infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever had to synergize your 24/7 feature set? With a single click? It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! Think fractal. The convergence factor is seamless. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for dealing with emerging networks? What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Without methodologies, you will lack development. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? We will synergize the power of models to facilitate. Think ubiquitous. Think front-end. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time.