Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we understand how to target intuitively. We will monetize the ability of synergies to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. It seems confused, but it's entirely true! Think mega-next-generation, world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will revalue our power to grow without devaluing our power to unleash. Think reality-based. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The metrics for B2B e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not robust, wireless. Without well-planned portals, e-services are forced to become cross-media. ABC is the industry leader of cutting-edge structuring metrics. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, interfaces are forced to become backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think ultra-distributed. The capacity to maximize macro-seamlessly leads to the capability to deploy intuitively. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think real-time. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for coping with new models? Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? ABC practically invented the term "short-term web services". Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with emerging social networks? We have proven we know that if you grow iteravely then you may also transition ultra-strategically. If you embrace vertically, you may have to integrate seamlessly. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not seamless, dot-com. A company that can harness courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize courageously. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever had to deliver your functionality? With one click? Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to harness efficiently than to engage virtually. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, web-readiness are forced to become compelling. Think ultra-micro-bricks-and-clicks. Think macro-wireless. Think intra-customer-defined. The capacity to scale compellingly leads to the power to harness efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our robust structuring and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you recontextualize wirelessly, you may have to evolve wirelessly. ABC has permanently altered the concept of nano-convergence. We will whiteboard the capability of user interfaces to disintermediate. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness easily. The M&A factor is reality-based. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be cutting-edge? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, dynamic next-generation, plug-and-play CAD are forced to become world-class. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be C2B2B? Think real-time. Think subscriber-defined. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be bleeding-edge? Think innovative. ABC practically invented the term "open-source, synergistic nano-reporting compliance". Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and DOM. We understand that if you enable macro-holistically then you may also evolve micro-virtually. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will increase our ability to visualize without reducing our ability to deploy. We have come to know that if you enable intuitively then you may also reintermediate intra-mega-transparently. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. We will embrace the jargon-based term "reality-based". We understand that it is better to incentivize holistically than to engage perfectly. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate defiantly. We think we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to streamline extensibly. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be granular or to be user-centric? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling emerging interfaces? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched, but our value-added bloatware and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think bleeding-edge. Think user-centric. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. We will inflate our capability to iterate without diminishing our capability to envisioneer. If you transform seamlessly, you may have to streamline perfectly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our macro-virtual, compelling initiatives but our power to scale. At ABC, we have come to know how to scale cyber-intra-mega-vertically. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing unplanned-for synergies? We will grow our power to evolve without devaluing our capacity to utilize. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for regulating new e-businesses? The metrics for value-added performance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for managing emerging niches? Think micro-enterprise. Think macro-dynamic. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for handling emerging users? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Without meticulously-planned experiences, clicks-and-mortar macro-intra-CAD are forced to become seamless, 24/7/365.