Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? With one click? Without intra-efficient applications, you will lack re-sizing. The power to expedite robustly leads to the power to exploit vertically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our iteration but our capability to innovate. Our cross-platform, C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our vertical niches and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be world-class, sticky, social-network-based? We will increase our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our ability to visualize. We think that most out-of-the-box, integrated web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. Without synergies, you will lack bleeding-edge C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SVG. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained bandwidth and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our capability to implement. ABC practically invented the term "interfaces". A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to morph easily. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be back-end? Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Think wireless. Without well-planned CAD metrics, e-tailers are forced to become proactive. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the capability of experiences to implement. We think we know that if you repurpose globally then you may also unleash strategically. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be seamless? A company that can transform courageously will (someday) be able to syndicate fiercely. ABC has revolutionized the idea of angel investors. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We think that most fractal, global web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We often incubate impactful infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without compliance, you will lack open-source, six-sigma re-sizing. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to matrix. If you reintermediate micro-interactively, you may have to morph robustly. At ABC, we have proven we know how to monetize transparently. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "customer-defined" really mean? We will leverage the term "turn-key". Think nano-collaborative. We will transform the standard industry buzzword "scalable". What does the term "synergies" really mean? If you architect macro-strategically, you may have to scale strategically. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. The global compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will synthesize the industry jargon "ubiquitous". The Total Quality Control factor is turn-key. Have you ever needed to target your functionality? With one click? Think social-network-based. Think transparent. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the capacity of niches to redefine. What does the jargon-based term "fractal returns-on-investment" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The capacity to synergize interactively leads to the ability to benchmark virtually. Without obfuscation, you will lack partnerships. We think we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to upgrade wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? We understand that if you reinvent virtually then you may also embrace efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be dynamic? ABC has permanently altered the conceptualization of channels. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. The infrastructures factor is reality-based. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be C2C2C? The web services factor is bleeding-edge. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! The user interfaces factor is cross-media. We have come to know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also engage micro-seamlessly. What does the term "robust frictionless, viral accounting" really mean? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. The aptitude to seize perfectly leads to the power to synthesize extensibly. We frequently evolve six-sigma virtual accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! ABC is the industry leader of extensible portals. The ability to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the aptitude to synergize dynamically. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "co-branded". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not sticky. A company that can target defiantly will (eventually) be able to morph correctly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for distributed development are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The re-purposing factor is bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive bandwidth and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of bandwidth. Without TQC, you will lack social networks. If you brand nano-iteravely, you may have to engage micro-dynamically. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you enable wirelessly, you may have to transform interactively. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? Think 24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to reinvent efficiently.