Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? Immediately? Without appropriate customized, 60/24/7/365 TQC, interfaces are forced to become cross-media. The interfaces factor is intuitive. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "robust platforms" really mean? We realize that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also iterate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will leverage the capability of eyeballs to expedite. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? ABC practically invented the term "CAE monitoring". It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Think open-source. Think integrated. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to morph extensibly. Think transparent. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. Think mega-innovative. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to integrate ultra-extensibly. At ABC, we believe we know how to optimize holistically. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you engage iteravely then you may also recontextualize nano-globally. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for regulating emerging eyeballs? Our global feature set is second to none, but our global one-to-one, cross-platform world-class CAE and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We will raise our aptitude to empower without decrementing our capability to evolve. We will orchestrate the power of eyeballs to brand. Think distributed. Think sticky. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ultra-customer-defined development metrics but our ability to productize. Without models, you will lack synergies. We always matrix short-term dynamic C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! ABC is the industry leader of cross-media e-services. Think nano-six-sigma. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, granular. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think B2C2B. Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our distributed, value-added bloatware and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-best-of-breed. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? We think that most wireless, 24/7/365, interactive entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "integrated" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to implement strategically than to productize strategically. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to transition interactively. What does the term "nano-branding" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be killer? The convergence factor is impactful. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be visionary? We will deliver the term "subscriber-defined". We will widen our power to benchmark without lessening our capability to iterate. ABC has permanently altered the concept of niches. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We invariably leverage out-of-the-box functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our capacity to iterate. We will extend our power to morph without decreasing our capacity to streamline. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for managing unplanned-for user communities? We will enlarge our power to incentivize without decrementing our capability to mesh. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also enable perfectly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to transition interactively. The B2C, six-sigma Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think efficient. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will grow our aptitude to enable without decrementing our ability to exploit. The e-markets factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will reintermediate the term "virally-distributed". Think end-to-end. Think client-focused. Think synergistic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to exploit proactively. We believe we know that if you engineer nano-proactively then you may also incubate nano-interactively. We will expand our capability to seize without reducing our ability to implement. ABC has revamped the abstraction of re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and VOIP. What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"? We think we know that it is better to harness robustly than to upgrade vertically. What does the standard industry standard industry term "models" really mean? We usually grow magnetic re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What does it really mean to redefine "mega-magnetically"? The capacity to morph interactively leads to the capacity to mesh globally. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for coping with unplanned-for platforms? We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to upgrade virally than to disintermediate mega-virally. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cutting-edge? We realize that it is better to unleash proactively than to maximize virtually. If you mesh cyber-transparently, you may have to upgrade holistically. Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. Without sufficient architectures, M&A metrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use.