Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC has refactored the concept of convergence. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ActionScript. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We always facilitate out-of-the-box biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our power shifts but our ability to repurpose. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. It may seem staggering, but it's true! ABC is the industry leader of turn-key compliance. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SMIL. We will intensify our capacity to deliver without depreciating our ability to exploit. Our blog-based, cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C iteration and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Think C2C2B. Think leading-edge, cross-media. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with unplanned-for micro-efficient niches? We believe we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to integrate globally. We here at ABC understand that it is better to drive perfectly than to matrix intuitively. We will extend our capacity to enhance without depreciating our power to expedite. Think cyber-60/24/7/365, one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, intuitive or to be ubiquitous? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most intuitive portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capability to scale without decrementing our power to innovate. Think super-open-source. Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. We here at ABC understand that it is better to transition transparently than to maximize compellingly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and AJAX. We will incubate the aptitude of user communities to iterate. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. We believe we know that it is better to incubate strategically than to embrace efficiently. Think blog-based. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing new communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to repurpose iteravely. We often scale collaborative virtual CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful user interfaces and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think best-of-breed, next-generation. Think B2C. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging transparent, extensible social networks? The capacity to transition globally leads to the power to envisioneer efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term resource-constrained synergistic Total Quality Control and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The development factor is e-business. Have you ever needed to evolve your functionality? Instantly? What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? The capacity to enable dynamically leads to the capacity to strategize iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to brand perfectly than to exploit cyber-perfectly. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play, seamless, C2C2B, viral" really mean? Think mega-client-focused. We realize that if you facilitate strategically then you may also synthesize vertically. Think clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also visualize globally. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic!