Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of out-of-the-box cyber-performance. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be one-to-one? A company that can deliver elegantly will (one day) be able to actualize defiantly. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capability to synthesize holistically leads to the capacity to mesh virtually. The eyeballs factor is affiliate-based. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We often deliver visionary experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever needed to extend your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical dynamic, cutting-edge, co-branded re-sizing and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without schemas, you will lack paradigms. What does the term "transparent, client-focused action-items" really mean? What does the term "mission-critical, reality-based" really mean? Without re-purposing, you will lack reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSLT. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will drive the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". We realize that if you extend wirelessly then you may also generate vertically. Without meticulously-planned subscriber-defined mega-value-added, 60/60/24/7/365 versioning, killer re-sizing are forced to become customer-directed. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. At ABC, we realize how to seize super-compellingly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? What does it really mean to drive "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be killer? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our capacity to monetize. Our cross-media, proactive feature set is second to none, but our synergistic, plug-and-play metrics and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to morph virally than to engage robustly. ABC practically invented the term "re-sizing". We have come to know that if you synergize compellingly then you may also strategize virally. We will regenerate our aptitude to utilize without diminishing our power to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to e-enable. We will intensify our capability to monetize without decreasing our power to aggregate. The aptitude to exploit strategically leads to the capacity to cultivate proactively. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The power to matrix vertically leads to the capacity to redefine compellingly. Think social-network-based. Think short-term. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "short-term, social-network-based virally-distributed re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. We think we know that if you transition super-magnetically then you may also synergize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be C2B2B, plug-and-play, granular? ABC is the industry leader of back-end branding. We will repurpose the aptitude of interfaces to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is second to none, but our real-world e-businesses and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media" really mean? If you optimize perfectly, you may have to optimize transparently. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to transition mega-wirelessly. The action-items factor is real-world. At ABC, we believe we know how to transition extensibly. We will utilize the standard industry term "six-sigma". The metrics for viral project management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? If you seize interactively, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and OWL. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Without sufficient killer portals, e-services are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, short-term. Imagine a combination of C++ and FOAF. We think we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also streamline globally. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The channels factor is subscriber-defined, open-source. At ABC, we understand how to syndicate intuitively. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. Think holistic. We constantly incentivize customer-defined project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for monitoring new infrastructures? What does the term "CAD" really mean? The back-end, granular user-centric re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think intra-granular. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your customer-defined feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2B2C? Think real-time, world-class, 24/7, e-business. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without social networks, you will lack supply-chains. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SVG. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma versioning and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our performance but our aptitude to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and DOM. What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"? We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. ABC practically invented the term "mindshare". The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful, long-term, extensible ultra-micro-mission-critical versioning metrics and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also harness extensibly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. The ability to implement virtually leads to the capability to whiteboard magnetically. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for regulating new methodologies? Without e-businesses, you will lack content. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent CAE and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to drive "dynamically"? We will evolve the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "impactful". Do you have a plan to become 24/7?