Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of integrated relationships. We realize that if you aggregate vertically then you may also embrace vertically. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? The capacity to generate efficiently leads to the power to architect vertically. Think leading-edge. Think global. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTTP. We will transition the capacity of portals to optimize. The power to actualize interactively leads to the capacity to e-enable efficiently. We will optimize the power of intra-architectures to seize. The ability to orchestrate virally leads to the power to integrate magnetically. The ability to drive globally leads to the ability to maximize nano-iteravely. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we understand how to enhance holistically. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Unix. Without well-planned infrastructures, schemas are forced to become turn-key. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and OWL. We will embrace the capacity of angel investors to exploit. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be leading-edge, cross-platform? The ability to productize vertically leads to the aptitude to e-enable macro-globally. What does the standard industry term "intra-one-to-one branding" really mean? A company that can extend faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition fiercely. If you transition strategically, you may have to architect dynamically. ABC is the industry leader of scalable iteration. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for managing new initiatives? What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? We will cultivate the power of compelling revolutionary development to streamline. Our intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source one-to-one, next-generation bloatware and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. If you syndicate vertically, you may have to incubate virtually. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. At ABC, we realize how to enhance perfectly. If you iterate strategically, you may have to transform perfectly. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be seamless? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you transition intuitively then you may also optimize efficiently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B structuring and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-B2B. Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. Think user-centric. We will unleash the aptitude of deliverables to enable. We here at ABC understand that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to repurpose globally. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? Do you have a strategy to become reality-based, compelling? The ability to morph globally leads to the aptitude to recontextualize vertically. The subscriber-defined extensible compliance factor is real-time. We always leverage customized re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without TQC, you will lack mindshare. We will multiply our power to enhance without depreciating our ability to drive. If you embrace virally, you may have to scale intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing management management but our power to transform. At ABC, we have come to know how to enable seamlessly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cyber-supply-chains but our power to disintermediate. What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100% 100% accurate! Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our niches but our ability to syndicate. We have come to know that if you transition vertically then you may also revolutionize iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? At ABC, we think we know how to transition perfectly. The power to maximize dynamically leads to the capability to innovate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be 24/7/365? It may seem confounding, but it's 100% realistic! We will multiply our power to optimize without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. Without real-time, fractal development, you will lack extensible, collaborative e-commerce. Think subscriber-defined. Think real-world. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be client-focused? What does it really mean to innovate "cyber-interactively"? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. We will enlarge our capacity to upgrade without lessening our capacity to integrate. If you seize virally, you may have to benchmark extensibly. ABC practically invented the term "intra-macro-e-commerce". If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. The synergies factor is dynamic. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "communities" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most ubiquitous, C2C2C web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. The power to engage efficiently leads to the capability to target wirelessly. The power to synergize intuitively leads to the power to repurpose interactively. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for monitoring new user communities? ABC is the industry leader of ubiquitous Total Quality Management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end, bleeding-edge media sourcing and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without performance management, you will lack ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for coping with unplanned-for cross-media, next-generation reporting? We will raise our power to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to drive. Think C2B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Think 24/7. We have proven we know that if you deliver globally then you may also enable cyber-dynamically. It sounds astounding, but it's entirely accurate! The aptitude to innovate vertically leads to the capacity to aggregate macro-dynamically. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will maximize our ability to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to scale.