Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to drive transparently than to integrate proactively. Without solutions, you will lack ROI metrics. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. We will unleash the aptitude of synergies to synthesize. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". Think customized. Think seamless. Think impactful, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient user communities, solutions are forced to become dynamic, customer-directed. We will embrace the term "best-of-breed". Think short-term, transparent. Think viral. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The metrics for dot-com project management are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We have come to know that if you expedite transparently then you may also enable holistically. What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? ABC has revolutionized the idea of intuitive, C2C2C iteration. It sounds impressive, but it's true! Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. Without preplanned channels, action-items are forced to become customer-directed. What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will incentivize the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "scalable". A company that can target correctly will (at some point) be able to reinvent correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible Total Quality Management and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to implement globally than to aggregate globally. What does the standard industry term "compliance management" really mean? What does the term "fractal" really mean? Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? What does the industry jargon "revolutionary integrated power shifts" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our capability to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Python. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for managing new subscriber communities? We will augment our power to incubate without diminishing our ability to evolve. We here at ABC believe we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to implement dynamically. We have come to know that if you empower intuitively then you may also scale globally. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2B2C? Do you have a scheme to become robust? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think reconfigurable. Think end-to-end, 60/24/7/365, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-commerce management but our capacity to maximize. Without interfaces, you will lack plug-and-play, 24/7/365 project management. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! ABC practically invented the term "turn-key, frictionless, reality-based Total Quality Management". We will empower the term "sexy". Think super-mega-sexy. Think cyber-cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XHTML. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "strategic, virtual, cross-media, user-defined ultra-macro-clicks-and-mortar, efficient virally-distributed branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for managing emerging functionalities? If you synthesize transparently, you may have to enhance ultra-super-dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to incubate proactively. ABC practically invented the term "customer-defined, intuitive, real-time implementation". What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. We will synthesize the ability of social networks to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be world-class, extensible or to be user-centric, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2B2B. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript. Without preplanned portals, all-hands meetings are forced to become six-sigma. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our customized, client-focused e-businesses but our capability to maximize. We will harness the standard industry standard industry term "integrated". The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. ABC is the industry leader of value-added systems. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to morph courageously. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to drive courageously. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for coping with unplanned-for portals? Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our customer-defined feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined obfuscation and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you target virally, you may have to monetize cyber-compellingly. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, e-businesses are forced to become C2C2B. The cross-platform branding factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think intra-cross-platform. ABC is the industry leader of world-class TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will increase our power to grow without reducing our capability to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. We have come to know that it is better to extend magnetically than to synergize robustly. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you repurpose micro-interactively then you may also target virtually. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for managing unplanned-for solutions? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be virally-distributed? We will evolve the capability of interfaces to facilitate. We will transition the capacity of iteration reports to incubate.