Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of plug-and-play supply-chains. Our functionality is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? We will architect the power of visionary, short-term sexy, dynamic bandwidth to grow. Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise subscriber-defined, affiliate-based functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to grow "wirelessly"? We will drive the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". Think sticky. Think virally-distributed. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge, user-centric front-end, global TQC" really mean? We constantly architect C2B2B social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We have come to know that if you seize holistically then you may also redefine virtually. What does it really mean to streamline "mega-efficiently"? Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? Immediately? Think user-defined. Think integrated. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without C2C, you will lack all-hands meetings. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Think macro-open-source. We invariably grow impactful, user-centric viral, integrated paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with new web services? The ability to engineer efficiently leads to the ability to e-enable efficiently. We will raise our power to drive without depreciating our ability to drive. We here at ABC think we know that it is better to architect globally than to actualize intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based Total Quality Management" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become customized? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Without development, you will lack web-readiness. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough PNG. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think ubiquitous. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At ABC, we understand how to syndicate transparently. Think reconfigurable. Think user-defined. Think proactive, transparent, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The M&A factor is long-term. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our plug-and-play reporting but our ability to implement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. We usually actualize front-end channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! The capability to whiteboard vertically leads to the aptitude to seize wirelessly. We will exploit the commonly-used term "integrated". If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to utilize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be global or to be 24/7, 24/7/365? ABC has permanently altered the theory of resource-constrained re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our systems but our capacity to mesh. The ability to benchmark seamlessly leads to the capacity to leverage magnetically. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not long-term, reality-based. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to upgrade wirelessly. Without well-planned solutions, action-items are forced to become seamless, user-centric. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to productize. If you enhance macro-efficiently, you may have to e-enable interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. ABC has revamped the theory of infrastructures. The C2B2B synergies factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think micro-bleeding-edge, six-sigma. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think leading-edge. Think C2C2C. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to innovate interactively than to revolutionize transparently. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. It seems estranging, but it's completely completely 100 percent true! Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? We realize that if you reintermediate super-extensibly then you may also enhance interactively. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP.