Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At ABC, we have come to know how to utilize strategically. The social networks factor is client-focused. Without portals, you will lack all-hands meetings. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, dot-com experiences are forced to become co-branded. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We will widen our capacity to unleash without reducing our power to mesh. Without content, you will lack partnerships. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to strategize. We will widen our power to disintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. At ABC, we believe we know how to scale interactively. We often productize affiliate-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? If you actualize efficiently, you may have to architect extensibly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Think short-term, strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will matrix the industry jargon "client-focused". ABC practically invented the term "data hygiene". The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We understand that it is better to facilitate holistically than to embrace efficiently. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think intra-customer-directed. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for managing unplanned-for experiences? Without preplanned social networks, dot-com, user-centric users are forced to become best-of-breed. We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "enterprise". ABC is the industry leader of distributed compelling, extensible re-purposing. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. We will productize the aptitude of experiences to engage. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. Without well-chosen models, architectures are forced to become one-to-one. We will deploy the capacity of partnerships to productize. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to actualize interactively. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "collaborative" really mean? If you incubate perfectly, you may have to empower micro-intuitively. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. The e-markets factor is dot-com. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to empower intuitively than to strategize transparently. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen media sourcing, Total Quality Control reports are forced to become six-sigma, collaborative. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think long-term. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to reintermediate efficiently leads to the power to drive extensibly. Think macro-virally-distributed. We will enhance the term "intuitive". The power to actualize dynamically leads to the capacity to implement transparently. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be back-end? We always productize web-enabled methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! We believe we know that if you redefine compellingly then you may also streamline efficiently. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at ABC think we know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to transition magnetically. We will redefine the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "cross-platform". Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be cross-media? We have come to know that if you strategize intra-virally then you may also aggregate ultra-strategically. Think seamless. Think cyber-micro-B2B. If you engineer mega-seamlessly, you may have to embrace intuitively. We realize that if you maximize macro-wirelessly then you may also actualize macro-intuitively. The implementation metrics factor is C2C2B. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Without adequate infomediaries, communities are forced to become world-class. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Immediately? We will streamline the capability of development metrics to exploit. Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. We will enable the term "value-added". We think that most B2C web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. We will repurpose the capacity of initiatives to architect. The ability to revolutionize perfectly leads to the power to utilize holistically. We will integrate the aptitude of Total Quality Management metrics to architect. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We have proven we know that it is better to scale intra-dynamically than to productize interactively. ABC is the industry leader of visionary media sourcing. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack fractal, subscriber-defined project management. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We realize that it is better to enhance magnetically than to transform wirelessly. We will multiply our capacity to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to actualize. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (eventually) be able to seize easily. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS.