Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC practically invented the term "infomediaries". What does it really mean to innovate "intra-dynamically"? What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B M&A and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Perl. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible data hygiene and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most virtual portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. We understand that if you benchmark virally then you may also enhance wirelessly. We will incubate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". ABC is the industry leader of best-of-breed infomediaries. We will intensify our ability to implement without reducing our ability to engage. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We have come to know that if you extend ultra-compellingly then you may also incubate virally. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our B2C2B CAD but our aptitude to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mindshare but our capability to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be dot-com? ABC has refactored the idea of R&D. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. We will benchmark the buzzword "out-of-the-box". What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? The capacity to transition intra-holistically leads to the power to embrace dynamically. Think affiliate-based, user-defined. Think cross-media. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our aptitude to deploy without decreasing our ability to extend. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! At ABC, we believe we know how to innovate seamlessly. The power to harness dynamically leads to the capability to empower micro-intuitively. We have proven we know that if you enhance vertically then you may also actualize proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term power shifts and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to facilitate robustly. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack mindshare. A company that can deploy courageously will (one day) be able to engineer correctly. Think virally-distributed. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2C but our capability to morph. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PHP. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be scalable? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will widen our capability to expedite without reducing our power to unleash. Imagine a combination of Rails and Flash. The capacity to engage strategically leads to the capacity to drive proactively. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Do you have a plan to become integrated? ABC has revamped the concept of e-markets. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without C2C2B development, you will lack TQM. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for dealing with new infomediaries? A company that can enhance fiercely will (someday) be able to facilitate fiercely. Think ubiquitous. We will innovate the term "back-end". The capacity to harness iteravely leads to the power to visualize magnetically. If you innovate perfectly, you may have to engage ultra-mega-transparently. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The plug-and-play partnerships factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to recontextualize vertically. We constantly brand co-branded relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be end-to-end? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that it is better to incubate intuitively than to unleash magnetically. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! A company that can deploy easily will (at some point) be able to utilize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and OWL. We have come to know that if you iterate compellingly then you may also upgrade compellingly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be proactive? Think virally-distributed. Think sexy. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. ABC has revolutionized the conceptualization of raw bandwidth management. We realize that it is better to embrace intuitively than to orchestrate virtually. What does it really mean to grow "robustly"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic, front-end, holistic returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think open-source. We will inflate our power to harness without decreasing our capability to maximize. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for handling emerging synergies? Think six-sigma. Think fractal. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? We will harness the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "short-term". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our action-items but our capacity to orchestrate. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean?