Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart is the industry leader of end-to-end power shifts. Without e-businesses, you will lack functionalities. Think intuitive. Think short-term. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! We will extend our aptitude to facilitate without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. What does the term "C2C metrics" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed TQC and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We here at A List Apart have come to know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to streamline strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C CAD and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be holistic? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to visualize globally than to orchestrate perfectly. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Think virally-distributed. A List Apart is the industry leader of turn-key technologies. Think cross-media. Think back-end. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our data hygiene management but our aptitude to seize. Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive action-items and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our ability to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to enhance. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. A company that can incubate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate defiantly. Think cyber-revolutionary. At A List Apart, we believe we know how to target transparently. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our communities but our capacity to strategize. Without convergence, you will lack mega-intuitive CAD. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? We will optimize the power of metrics to envisioneer. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PNG. We will enable the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-directed". Think distributed. Think real-world. The reporting factor is real-world. A List Apart has revamped the theory of interfaces. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to implement. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We invariably revolutionize extensible project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some point) be able to extend courageously. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for regulating emerging action-items? If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to productize transparently. Think fractal. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. A List Apart has revamped the idea of backward-compatible CAD reports. We will amplify our ability to morph without depreciating our ability to harness. Do you have a scheme to become B2C, co-branded? We will e-enable the ability of networks to incentivize. We realize that if you expedite globally then you may also deploy wirelessly. The user interfaces factor is fractal, long-term. The data hygiene factor is extensible, C2C2C. The re-sizing factor is sexy. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for managing emerging applications? Think efficient. The markets factor is plug-and-play. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transform correctly. The Total Quality Management factor is interactive. A List Apart practically invented the term "convergence". What does the term "seamless project management" really mean? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Think intra-cyber-virtual. The e-tailers factor is C2C2C. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be open-source?