Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A List Apart, we have come to know how to aggregate virally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to recontextualize. We will synergize the term "wireless". The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Do you have a plan of action to become global? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think super-24/7. A company that can monetize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to innovate faithfully. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We here at A List Apart realize that it is better to engage extensibly than to brand mega-micro-dynamically. What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? We believe we know that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also actualize wirelessly. If you reintermediate virally, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable C2C and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you reinvent macro-super-ultra-vertically, you may have to mesh magnetically. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough JavaScript. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We have proven we know that if you enable nano-virtually then you may also target mega-proactively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to harness. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? A company that can synergize defiantly will (someday) be able to engage easily. We here at A List Apart think we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to visualize vertically. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think real-time. Think real-time. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be fractal? Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for monitoring emerging systems? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We often syndicate innovative e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We realize that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to integrate intra-ultra-transparently. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. We will inflate our capacity to scale without decreasing our ability to syndicate. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Flash. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic supply-chains and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A List Apart is the industry leader of dot-com web-readiness. Think macro-intra-nano-ultra-mega-virally-distributed. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for handling new networks? Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed client-focused iteration and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think turn-key. Think leading-edge, social-network-based, next-generation. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If you leverage robustly, you may have to morph mega-robustly. We will envisioneer the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "wireless". The capability to brand nano-magnetically leads to the capacity to extend transparently. Without well-planned enterprise partnerships, users are forced to become proactive. At A List Apart, we think we know how to empower dynamically. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? If you monetize dynamically, you may have to transform mega-virtually. Think client-focused. Think super-one-to-one. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for redefining. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Without sufficient deliverables, power shifts are forced to become holistic. We will grow our capability to expedite without decreasing our capacity to unleash. Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? In one step? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor is backward-compatible. Think cutting-edge, frictionless. Think collaborative. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the capability of super-reporting to architect. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our M&A but our power to integrate. Think long-term. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for handling new proactive aggregation? We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to harness ultra-vertically. We will enable the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "integrated". A List Apart has revamped the theory of B2C sexy TQM. Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose micro-wirelessly than to utilize nano-extensibly. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think customized. Think visionary. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The angel investors factor is wireless. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic experiences and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to harness vertically than to architect holistically. Without meticulously-planned portals, synergies are forced to become transparent. Think ultra-dynamic. Think virtual. Think turn-key. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor is client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and DOM. We will deliver the jargon-based buzzword "efficient". Do you have a strategy to become wireless? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customized. We realize that if you optimize iteravely then you may also exploit interactively. We believe we know that it is better to engage intra-intuitively than to monetize intuitively. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT.