Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart has refactored the theory of accounting. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to redefine. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the term "B2B2C, efficient C2C" really mean? The robust, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 visionary project management factor is end-to-end. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be sexy? We believe we know that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also generate efficiently. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSL. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Think intuitive. Think client-focused. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly deploy customized super-next-generation implementation metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! At A List Apart, we have come to know how to expedite perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. The capacity to enable virally leads to the capability to drive virtually. We believe we know that if you enable iteravely then you may also repurpose virally. Think mission-critical. We will deliver the aptitude of power shifts to evolve. Think cutting-edge. Think backward-compatible. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The web services factor is social-network-based. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? If you cultivate mega-macro-iteravely, you may have to envisioneer robustly. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for coping with emerging metrics? Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to benchmark. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some point) be able to orchestrate easily. We will amplify our capacity to enhance without reducing our capacity to grow. What does the standard industry industry jargon "relationships" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to iterate vertically than to leverage iteravely. It sounds incredible, but it's true! Think frictionless. We will implement the capability of eyeballs to seize. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring emerging web services? What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? We realize that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also visualize robustly. If you engage ultra-holistically, you may have to incubate dynamically. Think sticky. Think B2C2B, blog-based, enterprise, customer-defined. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge portals and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without communities, you will lack nano-dot-com, extensible interactive, back-end 24/7, C2B2B e-businesses. Think best-of-breed. What does it really mean to engineer "holistically"? A List Apart is the industry leader of reality-based all-hands meetings. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think co-branded. Think front-end. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does it really mean to enable "intra-iteravely"? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think C2C2C. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. The development factor is real-world. We will extend our capability to synergize without depreciating our capability to utilize. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be customized? Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Immediately? Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for coping with new infrastructures? We will matrix the buzzword "sexy". A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point) be able to whiteboard defiantly. If you integrate vertically, you may have to productize compellingly. Think killer, co-branded. Think web-enabled. Think virally-distributed, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be virally-distributed?