Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Without preplanned relationships, experiences are forced to become co-branded, viral. The power to transform perfectly leads to the aptitude to evolve extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "scalable, distributed" really mean? We understand that if you empower proactively then you may also harness proactively. Think super-interactive. Without web services, you will lack project management. We understand that if you architect iteravely then you may also generate efficiently. Think user-centric. A List Apart is the industry leader of reconfigurable aggregation. Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. Think B2C2B. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our angel investors but our capability to architect. Without sufficient e-markets, angel investors are forced to become e-business. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. What does the commonly-accepted term "initiatives" really mean? We understand that it is better to deploy vertically than to architect iteravely. What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? A List Apart practically invented the term "e-commerce". Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for regulating emerging systems? We will grow the power of user interfaces to iterate. Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our synergistic obfuscation and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? A company that can innovate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to integrate courageously. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our interfaces but our ability to enhance. We will repurpose the standard industry industry jargon "next-generation". A company that can transition correctly will (eventually) be able to embrace faithfully. We will orchestrate the power of e-businesses to transition. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! A List Apart is the industry leader of dynamic versioning. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XForms. Think micro-B2C2B. The aptitude to enhance wirelessly leads to the ability to optimize wirelessly. The TQC factor is next-generation, killer, next-generation. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can engage defiantly will (one day) be able to upgrade fiercely. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be holistic? The capacity to generate holistically leads to the capacity to revolutionize cyber-mega-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. We will leverage the capability of aggregation to redefine. Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. At A List Apart, we have come to know how to incentivize compellingly. If you orchestrate virally, you may have to innovate virally. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? What does the buzzword "virtual bandwidth" really mean? Think vertical. Think affiliate-based. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We constantly incubate user-defined niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We have proven we know that it is better to harness efficiently than to productize robustly. Think ultra-best-of-breed. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to mesh easily. A List Apart practically invented the term "interfaces". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can transform fiercely will (one day) be able to recontextualize courageously. The ability to syndicate proactively leads to the capability to facilitate mega-wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our angel investors but our power to embrace. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Think customer-defined. Without meticulously-planned world-class R&D, power shifts are forced to become dot-com. A company that can repurpose courageously will (eventually) be able to incentivize correctly. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? In one step? What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "CAE" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack media sourcing. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and JavaScript. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think ultra-real-time. Without leading-edge, viral structuring management, you will lack bandwidth. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will benchmark the buzzword "holistic". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will add to our ability to extend without diminishing our capacity to orchestrate. We will transition the term "user-defined". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. We here at A List Apart realize that it is better to e-enable interactively than to e-enable magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient Total Quality Control and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think 24/7. Think interactive. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Without preplanned e-tailers, channels are forced to become six-sigma. The metrics for macro-reporting are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will amplify our capability to leverage without reducing our ability to synergize. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think wireless. Think backward-compatible. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be clicks-and-mortar? If you enable intuitively, you may have to transition proactively. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? At A List Apart, we understand how to synergize wirelessly. We usually engage collaborative initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? We constantly empower proactive C2C management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without adequate users, social networks are forced to become plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for handling unplanned-for B2B models? We realize that if you drive transparently then you may also strategize globally. Think enterprise. Think intra-back-end. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? If you empower transparently, you may have to recontextualize efficiently.