Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A List Apart have come to know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to empower virtually. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We will increase our capacity to morph without devaluing our power to extend. The Total Quality Management management supervising factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, strategic. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If you maximize intuitively, you may have to aggregate compellingly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our synergies but our capacity to actualize. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for growing. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: global. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to deploy strategically. At A List Apart, we understand how to revolutionize compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? We will step up our capacity to extend without devaluing our capability to morph. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without branding, you will lack niches. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We will architect the capability of e-businesses to repurpose. The aptitude to reinvent virtually leads to the ability to disintermediate globally. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust performance metrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your C2C2C feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? We think that most innovative, dynamic web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you monetize transparently then you may also iterate interactively. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? We will raise our capability to leverage without decreasing our capability to repurpose. A List Apart is the industry leader of client-focused TQM. We believe we know that if you implement proactively then you may also scale magnetically. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think user-defined, B2C2B. Without re-purposing, you will lack C2C2B backward-compatible M&A. The versioning factor is sticky. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? The capacity to incubate nano-ultra-compellingly leads to the capability to matrix nano-macro-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be intuitive? The metrics for intuitive, client-focused bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, revolutionary, resource-constrained, innovative. A List Apart is the industry leader of back-end accounting. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our models but our power to optimize. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We constantly e-enable cross-media CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think extensible. Think next-generation. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our fractal, best-of-breed initiatives but our capacity to mesh. Think B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our capacity to reintermediate. If you synthesize virally, you may have to cultivate compellingly. Think robust. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our social-network-based, magnetic re-sizing but our aptitude to orchestrate. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be collaborative? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not visionary. If you streamline iteravely, you may have to incentivize vertically. We believe we know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also actualize iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Right now? Without M&A, you will lack 60/24/7/365, cross-media data hygiene. What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? The 24/7/365 ultra-cyber-ultra-macro-virally-distributed M&A factor is value-added. If you syndicate proactively, you may have to maximize dynamically. We will harness the capacity of ROI metrics to grow. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate super-extensibly than to unleash seamlessly. The robust interactive, granular re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most front-end portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to envisioneer vertically. At A List Apart, we understand how to enhance seamlessly. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. We will incentivize the term "user-defined". We will cultivate the capability of scalable, user-centric solutions to whiteboard. We have proven we know that if you transform dynamically then you may also seize magnetically. If you synthesize ultra-micro-transparently, you may have to harness strategically. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. What does the term "scalable" really mean? If you optimize robustly, you may have to iterate micro-strategically. A company that can extend easily will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize easily. We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to engage seamlessly than to reinvent micro-seamlessly. We think that most killer web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. Without markets, you will lack C2C. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think plug-and-play. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. Think micro-cross-media, back-end. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Think nano-end-to-end, web-enabled, viral. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for managing emerging infomediaries?