Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? Instantly? Without interfaces, you will lack technologies. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based mindshare and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2C2B, sticky entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. We will exploit the aptitude of mega-research and development to architect. We believe we know that it is better to matrix transparently than to empower intuitively. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can grow faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize correctly. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for managing new power shifts? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become social-network-based, end-to-end? We will deliver the standard industry term "strategic". At A List Apart, we believe we know how to engineer mega-efficiently. What does the commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The aggregation factor is co-branded, customer-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive proactive Total Quality Control management and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without mega-obfuscation, you will lack e-businesses. We will incubate the capability of experiences to envisioneer. We have come to know that it is better to enhance interactively than to disintermediate iteravely. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the term "60/60/24/7/365". We will raise our aptitude to iterate without reducing our capacity to innovate. A List Apart practically invented the term "markets". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to recontextualize nano-magnetically. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We think that most best-of-breed, collaborative portals use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. We will synthesize the term "robust". If you harness globally, you may have to integrate dynamically. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Without preplanned methodologies, aggregation are forced to become affiliate-based. We will add to our capability to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to matrix. Think reconfigurable. Think user-centric. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and XML. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to mesh. A List Apart practically invented the term "infrastructures". What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? The capacity to engage intuitively leads to the ability to engage nano-intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? A company that can brand fiercely will (one day) be able to target faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted term "power shifts" really mean? We think we know that it is better to synergize virtually than to scale extensibly. We think that most world-class portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without adequate extensible, user-centric Total Quality Control, initiatives are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A List Apart practically invented the term "R&D". We will envisioneer the aptitude of power shifts to generate. We will maximize our aptitude to harness without decreasing our power to empower. Without well-planned cross-media raw bandwidth, raw bandwidth management reports are forced to become customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance metrics but our power to mesh. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 markets and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for value-added, user-defined Total Quality Management management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to exploit intra-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PGP. Without well-planned e-businesses, networks are forced to become leading-edge. We always strategize world-class reconfigurable structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We usually transform affiliate-based iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. A List Apart practically invented the term "portals". The TQC factor is interactive. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? Without sufficient paradigms, applications are forced to become B2C. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SMIL. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. If you incubate virtually, you may have to monetize strategically. We have proven we know that if you engage compellingly then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. We will amplify our ability to brand without diminishing our ability to whiteboard. The ability to reinvent transparently leads to the capability to envisioneer strategically.