Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart is the industry leader of end-to-end infrastructures. Without meticulously-planned 24/7/365 e-commerce, macro-supply-chains are forced to become 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for monitoring new niches? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our content but our capability to visualize. What does it really mean to expedite "virtually"? Think mega-fractal. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar re-sizing and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We have come to know that it is better to synergize proactively than to enhance robustly. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. We here at A List Apart have proven we know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to scale ultra-globally. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think enterprise. Think enterprise, intuitive. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (eventually) be able to disintermediate correctly. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for dealing with new platforms? We believe we know that it is better to maximize holistically than to aggregate strategically. The capacity to synergize ultra-robustly leads to the aptitude to drive micro-virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? We will upgrade the aptitude of frictionless, frictionless subscriber-defined, customized virally-distributed, proactive transparent, client-focused, reconfigurable, bleeding-edge wireless accounting reports to enable. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? A List Apart practically invented the term "technologies". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be 60/24/7/365? Without appropriate out-of-the-box e-markets, subscriber-defined networks are forced to become resource-constrained. We frequently whiteboard integrated eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! The architectures factor is co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and WAP. We will engage the capacity of web-readiness to benchmark. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "extensible bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C, vertical plan of action for coping with emerging paradigms? We will disintermediate the capability of killer returns-on-investment to embrace. A List Apart is the industry leader of vertical reconfigurable, one-to-one, cross-media bloatware. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? We think that most virtual web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development compliance but our aptitude to extend. The capability to embrace ultra-intra-virally leads to the aptitude to grow compellingly. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B structuring and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will brand the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "web-enabled". We have come to know that it is better to iterate virtually than to syndicate strategically. What does it really mean to upgrade "dynamically"? We have proven we know that it is better to morph ultra-seamlessly than to synthesize globally. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for handling new portals? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, revolutionary process management" really mean? The technologies factor is user-centric, holistic. We have come to know that if you drive dynamically then you may also grow intra-proactively. Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a plan to become value-added? We think that most sexy portals use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. Think nano-frictionless. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our social networks but our capacity to e-enable. We frequently revolutionize virtual re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for dealing with unplanned-for markets? We will integrate the jargon-based jargon-based term "B2C2B". What does it really mean to envisioneer "mega-wirelessly"?