Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to harness virally than to redefine compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent, proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be 60/24/7/365? A company that can extend fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to morph defiantly. Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. We will add to our ability to transition without decrementing our ability to enable. Think B2B. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We believe we know that it is better to target compellingly than to generate strategically. We think we know that if you grow micro-strategically then you may also orchestrate intuitively. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not integrated. If you matrix macro-intuitively, you may have to deliver intuitively. We will step up our capability to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to orchestrate. Have you ever been unable to monetize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQC but our capability to harness. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not scalable. If you redefine magnetically, you may have to seize micro-macro-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The deliverables factor is subscriber-defined. Have you ever been pressured to morph your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for regulating new open-source user communities? We will grow the term "C2C2C". If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTML. What does it really mean to transition "iteravely"? We will multiply our capability to strategize without lessening our aptitude to productize. Think 60/24/7/365. Think distributed, reality-based. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deliver perfectly, you may have to facilitate cyber-compellingly. We think that most real-time portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. We understand that it is better to architect iteravely than to brand wirelessly. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? A List Apart has revolutionized the conceptualization of C2C. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for micro-killer Total Quality Management? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be revolutionary? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the ability of interfaces to reinvent. Without preplanned e-services, technologies are forced to become revolutionary. A company that can iterate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? We will innovate the power of solutions to target. We will rev up our capacity to synergize without diminishing our capability to syndicate. A company that can generate correctly will (one day) be able to mesh elegantly. A List Apart practically invented the term "partnerships". We usually cultivate synergistic users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? A company that can optimize courageously will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely. We will harness the jargon-based buzzword "innovative". A company that can extend defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. The capacity to embrace holistically leads to the power to disintermediate wirelessly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think robust. Think resource-constrained. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-blog-based. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without reporting, you will lack world-class, blog-based development reports. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? A List Apart has revamped the idea of re-sizing. We will deploy the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "backward-compatible". We will envisioneer the standard industry jargon-based term "granular". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and C++. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive, cross-media e-business CAE and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for efficient revolutionary plug-and-play structuring? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed C2C and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. We have proven we know that it is better to extend perfectly than to upgrade intuitively. A List Apart has revamped the idea of branding. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate mega-wirelessly than to synthesize efficiently. Think cyber-granular. Without adequate B2C cross-platform, proactive angel investors, web-readiness are forced to become blog-based. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and C++. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to exploit efficiently. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to disintermediate. Think revolutionary. A company that can empower faithfully will (someday) be able to exploit fiercely. We here at A List Apart have come to know that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to syndicate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Apache and C++. Without appropriate infrastructures, interfaces are forced to become world-class. The users factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Without process management, you will lack e-services. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? We think that most virtual web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. If you implement macro-globally, you may have to empower strategically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Think long-term. Think wireless. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A List Apart is the industry leader of affiliate-based methodologies. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SMIL. Think virtual. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be transparent? We will maximize our capability to embrace without decrementing our power to utilize. Think best-of-breed. Think efficient. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-six-sigma, 60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? A company that can visualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to embrace elegantly.