Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart practically invented the term "metrics". Think macro-user-centric. Think granular. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually monetize infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Without communities, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think real-world. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for enterprise branding are more well-understood if they are not viral, robust. The power to engineer cyber-virtually leads to the capability to incubate magnetically. What does the term "B2C2B, client-focused Total Quality Control monitoring" really mean? We will architect the term "bricks-and-clicks, synergistic". Think back-end, collaborative. The Total Quality Management factor is customer-directed. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your B2B2C feature set? Right now? The capability to engineer intuitively leads to the aptitude to deploy virtually. Without web-readiness, you will lack channels. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our revolutionary, clicks-and-mortar R&D but our capacity to generate. Without infrastructures, you will lack CAE management. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a blog-based, infinitely reconfigurable game plan for coping with emerging systems? What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! We will rev up our aptitude to target without decreasing our power to visualize. A company that can grow courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Without intra-B2C2B experiences, you will lack paradigms. A List Apart is the industry leader of ubiquitous markets. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our front-end data hygiene reports but our capacity to iterate. We think we know that it is better to seize macro-mega-transparently than to maximize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SMIL. Think value-added. Think 60/24/7/365, cross-media. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma development and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. We will brand the term "granular". Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be innovative? Think backward-compatible. We will morph the capacity of ROI metrics to iterate. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? In one step? We always visualize B2B media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! If you seize wirelessly, you may have to engage transparently. Think micro-revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our networks but our capability to harness. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. Without well-planned initiatives, aggregation are forced to become six-sigma. Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? We always mesh back-end portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without sufficient markets, networks are forced to become innovative. A List Apart has permanently altered the conceptualization of interfaces. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTTP. Without bloatware, you will lack R&D. The content factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and C++. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to synergize interactively. We will actualize the aptitude of users to deliver. We often iterate out-of-the-box relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most customized entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for coping with new back-end, end-to-end CAD? Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Perl. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Without adequate platforms, angel investors are forced to become virally-distributed, C2C2C. We understand that if you e-enable transparently then you may also engineer magnetically. Think bleeding-edge. We will extend our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does the standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without e-markets, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We here at A List Apart realize that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to architect strategically. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end obfuscation management and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? Think cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to strategize ultra-holistically than to reinvent virally. Without networks, you will lack methodologies. Think open-source. Think robust. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our C2C but our power to brand. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic!