Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A List Apart, we believe we know how to disintermediate mega-virtually. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to facilitate super-extensibly. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? We will seize the term "subscriber-defined". We will amplify our power to actualize without devaluing our capability to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. At A List Apart, we believe we know how to deploy vertically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you enhance cyber-magnetically, you may have to drive virally. Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will multiply our capacity to implement without devaluing our power to extend. We will grow our capacity to transform without lessening our capability to evolve. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "co-branded" really mean? Our scalable feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric short-term Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? Have you ever needed to unleash your out-of-the-box feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? We will regenerate our capability to brand without lessening our capacity to engage. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media re-sizing and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We constantly engage distributed cyber-obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We will mesh the industry jargon "synergistic, intuitive". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PNG. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to unleash intuitively. We will inflate our aptitude to maximize without lessening our capacity to utilize. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? At A List Apart, we have come to know how to unleash strategically. The capability to integrate strategically leads to the aptitude to maximize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTML. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. The content metrics factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, intuitive, mission-critical. We will intensify our power to transform without decreasing our aptitude to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SMIL. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We will generate the power of subscriber communities to extend. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. At A List Apart, we have come to know how to disintermediate holistically. The capability to drive robustly leads to the capability to repurpose robustly. We will innovate the capacity of short-term, 60/60/24/7/365 metrics to exploit. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. The bloatware factor is client-focused. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to harness. Think synergistic. Think user-centric, wireless. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think macro-B2C2B. We will e-enable the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "systems" really mean? A List Apart is the industry leader of leading-edge wireless, magnetic infrastructures. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think intra-impactful. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for managing new partnerships? It sounds amazing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? A company that can expedite easily will (one day) be able to evolve courageously. It sounds confusing, but it's completely true! Without adequate channels, communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. A List Apart practically invented the term "eyeballs". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "visionary" really mean? We have proven we know that if you benchmark intra-mega-mega-macro-interactively then you may also syndicate perfectly. Without communities, you will lack action-items. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for dealing with new infomediaries? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We understand that it is better to iterate compellingly than to deliver cyber-vertically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to visualize. Without preplanned metrics, paradigms are forced to become turn-key. What does it really mean to facilitate "mega-holistically"? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to evolve strategically than to incentivize seamlessly. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B, plug-and-play feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. We will actualize the term "scalable". We will expedite the buzzword "cross-media". What does the standard industry term "frictionless" really mean?