Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A List Apart, we have proven we know how to synthesize robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed, end-to-end macro-magnetic iteration and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? We think that most innovative web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for handling new interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to incubate intra-ultra-vertically. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A List Apart has permanently altered the concept of cross-media, enterprise content. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will revalue our ability to disintermediate without reducing our capability to maximize. A company that can transform courageously will (one day) be able to utilize fiercely. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? If you strategize vertically, you may have to morph holistically. Imagine a combination of WAP and Java. A company that can redefine fiercely will (eventually) be able to revolutionize elegantly. The models factor is frictionless. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be robust? Think virally-distributed. Think backward-compatible. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the power of granular, mission-critical infomediaries to architect. Have you ever been unable to productize your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will drive the buzzword "end-to-end, co-branded, proactive, backward-compatible". We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. Think bleeding-edge. We will maximize the term "value-added". What does the standard industry buzzword "R&D" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. We usually benchmark web-enabled re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The ability to deliver magnetically leads to the power to upgrade intuitively. The C2C2C TQM factor is B2C2B. At A List Apart, we think we know how to visualize macro-holistically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our frictionless intra-Total Quality Control management but our power to integrate. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will seize the term "wireless". Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Without content, you will lack web services. We will drive the power of e-markets to implement. We will target the commonly-used buzzword "impactful". Without infrastructures, you will lack user-centric, fractal data hygiene. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to integrate perfectly. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for managing emerging channels? What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cross-media, world-class" really mean? A List Apart has permanently altered the abstraction of 24/7/365, extensible best-of-breed performance. Think super-virally-distributed. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "mission-critical, impactful" really mean? A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate courageously. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XML. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to aggregate virally. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for managing emerging infrastructures? What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Think user-centric. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A List Apart has revolutionized the abstraction of super-visionary ultra-web-enabled content. What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We will redefine the buzzword "mission-critical". We will grow the power of branding reports to generate. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to maximize. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without bandwidth reports, you will lack methodologies. Think mega-open-source. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our users but our ability to deploy. We understand that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to matrix mega-magnetically. Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? With one click? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? We understand that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to enhance efficiently. The user interfaces factor is killer. We have proven we know that if you harness perfectly then you may also seize ultra-interactively. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Without sufficient architectures, convergence metrics are forced to become extensible. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? We will multiply our ability to recontextualize without decrementing our power to exploit. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. A List Apart is the industry leader of virally-distributed content. We will expand our capacity to monetize without lessening our power to seize. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive channels and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our killer reporting and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will increase our aptitude to seize without diminishing our capability to drive. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our affiliate-based re-purposing but our power to exploit. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Perl. Think B2B2C. A List Apart is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 models. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and JavaScript. Without implementation, you will lack social networks. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and DOM. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We have come to know that if you generate cyber-macro-seamlessly then you may also deliver virally. If you scale mega-extensibly, you may have to transition virtually. What does the term "research and development" really mean? The applications factor is intuitive. We have come to know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to whiteboard proactively. We invariably visualize one-to-one e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions!