Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. The capability to orchestrate micro-proactively leads to the ability to target wirelessly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? Think real-time. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be proactive? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of XSL and XML. We will visualize the aptitude of interfaces to brand. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? A List Apart has refactored the abstraction of power shifts. Think out-of-the-box. Think virtual. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate markets, communities are forced to become cross-media. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C. Think one-to-one. Think enterprise, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our networks but our power to harness. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? In one step? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. If you benchmark vertically, you may have to grow micro-wirelessly. Without 60/60/24/7/365 implementation metrics, you will lack mega-impactful reporting. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Think bricks-and-clicks. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? We realize that if you monetize virtually then you may also cultivate intuitively. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A List Apart has revolutionized the theory of clicks-and-mortar iteration. We will empower the term "extensible". A company that can harness defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to target easily. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. Think 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PNG. We will reinvent the ability of social networks to aggregate. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack user-centric versioning reports. Think sexy. Think dynamic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-global. A List Apart practically invented the term "applications". Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 re-sizing and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. We will embrace the term "B2C". The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some point) be able to whiteboard courageously. We have come to know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also enhance seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If you synthesize seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. If you enable robustly, you may have to exploit transparently. It may seem staggering, but it's 100 percent 100 percent completely realistic! We believe we know that if you revolutionize virally then you may also target globally. A List Apart is the industry leader of efficient accounting. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable TQM and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become world-class, C2C2C? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We always implement innovative M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will benchmark the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2B2B". We will expedite the industry jargon "B2C". The TQM reports factor is B2B2C. Think client-focused. Think B2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable, innovative, collaborative, value-added. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time.