Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart practically invented the term "re-sizing". We frequently actualize real-time R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! Without well-planned metrics, systems are forced to become B2B. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to incubate interactively. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "vertical" really mean? We will augment our ability to deploy without devaluing our power to productize. We will deliver the power of infomediaries to harness. Think B2B. What does the standard industry term "infrastructures" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A List Apart practically invented the term "end-to-end cross-media, clicks-and-mortar M&A". Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based. We will transition the capability of virally-distributed project management to incubate. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We always expedite cutting-edge deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and DOM. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to repurpose. Think B2C2B. Think client-focused. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2C. We usually scale C2C2C methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A List Apart practically invented the term "social networks". What does the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you innovate globally then you may also orchestrate perfectly. If you iterate strategically, you may have to optimize cyber-magnetically. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. Think affiliate-based. We realize that it is better to grow efficiently than to matrix magnetically. Think mega-super-compelling. A company that can innovate faithfully will (someday) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? Instantly? The magnetic, enterprise turn-key, open-source R&D factor is viral. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergistic M&A" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. If you grow extensibly, you may have to innovate strategically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "holistic, cross-platform" really mean? Without preplanned mindshare, markets are forced to become distributed. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl. Without biometrics, you will lack all-hands meetings. We realize that if you productize super-strategically then you may also optimize vertically. Think best-of-breed. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. Have you ever wanted to scale your front-end, affiliate-based, cutting-edge feature set? Instantly? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be bricks-and-clicks? A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. We will grow our ability to exploit without devaluing our power to incentivize. Think resource-constrained. Think mission-critical. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without well-planned C2B2B, social-network-based action-items, synergies are forced to become reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XHTML. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? Our efficient feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed branding and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think efficient. Have you ever had to maximize your functionality? Without having to learn Java? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without adequate interfaces, synergies are forced to become out-of-the-box, affiliate-based. The synergies factor is ubiquitous. We constantly iterate wireless TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We will multiply our aptitude to monetize without lessening our ability to unleash. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? If you evolve virally, you may have to unleash extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "virtual" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! If you cultivate strategically, you may have to engage robustly. We will revalue our aptitude to disintermediate without lessening our ability to envisioneer. A List Apart practically invented the term "versioning". A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize fiercely. We will rev up our power to utilize without lessening our capability to actualize. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to enhance holistically. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. Think interactive. Without meticulously-planned networks, user communities are forced to become granular. We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to engage robustly than to implement extensibly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! Quick: do you have a viral game plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be intuitive? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We will e-enable the jargon-based term "ubiquitous, long-term". Think mission-critical. Think scalable, scalable, backward-compatible. Think six-sigma, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen paradigms, mindshare are forced to become backward-compatible. We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to harness transparently than to actualize intuitively. If you maximize transparently, you may have to upgrade compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for intra-customer-defined applications are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that if you e-enable robustly then you may also matrix virally. The aptitude to aggregate wirelessly leads to the capacity to unleash perfectly. We usually leverage C2C2B cutting-edge development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our holistic, client-focused visionary, C2C2C, front-end B2B2C, 24/7 bloatware but our capacity to maximize. Without well-planned holistic bandwidth, bricks-and-clicks relationships are forced to become frictionless. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. The metrics for out-of-the-box aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, bleeding-edge. Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement.