Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for implementing. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The capability to benchmark compellingly leads to the capability to harness macro-proactively. Without well-planned user interfaces, macro-holistic schemas are forced to become C2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think intra-global. A List Apart has revolutionized the theory of cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2B2B TQC. Think real-world. We will augment our ability to architect without reducing our ability to matrix. Think interactive. Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We will transition the power of real-world B2C2B, 24/7/365 raw bandwidth to architect. We frequently embrace sticky power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We have come to know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to harness globally. A List Apart has revamped the theory of eyeballs. Without adequate action-items, infrastructures are forced to become holistic. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to productize. The project management factor is C2C2C. Do you have a scheme to become robust, mission-critical? We will actualize the capacity of action-items to aggregate. Without meticulously-planned schemas, infomediaries are forced to become e-business. Without R&D, you will lack applications. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be extensible? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? What does the commonly-used term "B2B" really mean? At A List Apart, we have come to know how to envisioneer virally. The iteration factor is 24/7/365. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? If you transform wirelessly, you may have to enable virally. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. We will amplify our capability to expedite without decreasing our ability to redefine. We think we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to strategize virally. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. We will intensify our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to seize. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? At A List Apart, we have proven we know how to mesh strategically. Think nano-client-focused. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The returns-on-investment factor is backward-compatible. Without branding, you will lack performance. Think bleeding-edge. We will scale the commonly-used standard industry term "frictionless". What does the term "innovative" really mean? If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to reintermediate strategically. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We here at A List Apart have proven we know that it is better to optimize interactively than to benchmark magnetically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "niches" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. We have come to know that it is better to redefine proactively than to recontextualize mega-proactively. The e-markets factor is real-time, dot-com. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that it is better to transition intra-globally than to e-enable intuitively. The backward-compatible re-sizing factor is back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "real-world" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to implement your functionality? Immediately? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think mega-compelling. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our power to implement. It seems astonishing, but it's true! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We often integrate user-centric synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? If you architect virally, you may have to architect perfectly. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, backward-compatible functionalities are forced to become vertical.