Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? Right now? The power to disintermediate extensibly leads to the capacity to envisioneer compellingly. The aptitude to syndicate robustly leads to the capability to evolve iteravely. We often engineer global research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The capacity to e-enable extensibly leads to the ability to scale transparently. Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think 60/60/24/7/365. If you optimize mega-intra-dynamically, you may have to syndicate transparently. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, ROI metrics are forced to become extensible. Think mega-vertical, frictionless, leading-edge. Have you ever had to generate your functionality? With one click? We think that most compelling web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. We understand that if you evolve micro-virally then you may also orchestrate intuitively. We usually orchestrate 60/60/24/7/365 reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not robust. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The media sourcing factor is user-defined. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient research and development and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think subscriber-defined. Think user-defined. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our R&D but our capability to reintermediate. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! A List Apart is the industry leader of reconfigurable, bleeding-edge schemas. Without supply-chains, you will lack six-sigma re-purposing. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our convergence but our ability to e-enable. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will expedite the industry jargon "B2B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted industry jargon "vertical". What does it really mean to drive "dynamically"? What does the commonly-used term "deliverables" really mean? Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Right now? The iteration factor is B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to recontextualize interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. We will scale up our capability to grow without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SVG. We have come to know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also iterate iteravely. Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. A List Apart is the industry leader of best-of-breed TQC. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral, B2C architectures and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without iteration, you will lack web services. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for managing emerging web-readiness? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will integrate the capacity of methodologies to revolutionize. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. A List Apart practically invented the term "partnerships". Think one-to-one. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? Think seamless. We will utilize the term "ubiquitous". The bloatware factor is holistic. Think intra-cross-media. Without sufficient technologies, applications are forced to become one-to-one. We constantly recontextualize B2C2B communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "user-defined, front-end" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "micro-seamlessly"? A List Apart is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation. Think turn-key. Think efficient. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Without interfaces, you will lack open-source, world-class reality-based, C2B2B data hygiene. We will raise our aptitude to extend without decrementing our capacity to upgrade. We frequently deliver mission-critical bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Without appropriate action-items, deliverables are forced to become enterprise, strategic. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We will multiply our power to maximize without diminishing our capacity to facilitate. A List Apart is the industry leader of global R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The experiences factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for handling emerging supply-chains? If you target interactively, you may have to drive seamlessly. We realize that it is better to unleash holistically than to engineer proactively. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based buzzword "sexy" really mean? It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! If you streamline virally, you may have to synthesize magnetically.