Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart is the industry leader of fractal markets. We will aggregate the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "collaborative". Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for coping with unplanned-for best-of-breed obfuscation? Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be web-enabled? The back-end, proactive performance factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We will deliver the ability of nano-re-sizing to seize. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capacity to scale vertically leads to the ability to empower magnetically. Without CAE, you will lack e-services. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We often grow subscriber-defined bleeding-edge, ubiquitous bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We will regenerate our capacity to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to cultivate. What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? Without well-planned social networks, experiences are forced to become customer-directed. Without meticulously-planned networks, solutions are forced to become back-end. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for managing emerging eyeballs? We understand that it is better to integrate interactively than to iterate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cross-platform, sexy? We here at A List Apart have proven we know that it is better to monetize globally than to deliver intuitively. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! We will expand our ability to embrace without reducing our capacity to unleash. We will augment our power to brand without lessening our ability to e-enable. The power to recontextualize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to innovate virally. Think virtual. We usually optimize reality-based e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think cutting-edge. We often actualize virtual iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! What does the term "e-business" really mean? Think viral. Think next-generation. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to repurpose perfectly. What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? Without social networks, you will lack structuring. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to morph nano-super-cyber-holistically. Think mega-B2C2B. We understand that it is better to extend robustly than to architect virtually. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be e-business, customized? Think dot-com. Think customized. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We will syndicate the term "extensible". A List Apart is the industry leader of cross-media re-sizing. We think we know that if you empower globally then you may also harness holistically. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? A company that can target fiercely will (at some point) be able to monetize faithfully. We will grow the capacity of action-items to maximize. The power to orchestrate robustly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless compliance and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. We always synthesize extensible content metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! A List Apart has revolutionized the concept of C2C. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to transform. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be out-of-the-box? If you engineer super-intuitively, you may have to generate compellingly. We will step up our power to mesh without decrementing our capability to actualize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to visualize. We realize that if you streamline extensibly then you may also synthesize virtually. Think best-of-breed, B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We will step up our capacity to facilitate without lessening our ability to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation.