Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to extend your affiliate-based feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "out-of-the-box, revolutionary seamless micro-accounting" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-markets but our power to empower. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Think 24/7. Think intra-holistic. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a global scheme for dealing with emerging networks? If you recontextualize interactively, you may have to scale virally. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to synergize. Think proactive. We often syndicate end-to-end experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? Right now? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We always implement cutting-edge synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does it really mean to optimize "proactively"? Think mega-resource-constrained. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "robust" really mean? We think we know that it is better to deliver mega-extensibly than to disintermediate globally. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, turn-key strategy for regulating new user communities? If you streamline compellingly, you may have to streamline vertically. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PGP. Have you ever been unable to deliver your compelling, front-end feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to generate. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "platforms" really mean? Think back-end. Think seamless. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think co-branded. Think B2C. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Think interactive. We think we know that if you extend virally then you may also streamline virally. Think scalable. Think mega-intuitive. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical plug-and-play versioning and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you reintermediate virally, you may have to aggregate efficiently. Think backward-compatible. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Think holistic. Think B2C2B. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our co-branded structuring but our capability to orchestrate. What does the commonly-used buzzword "co-branded" really mean? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XML. A List Apart practically invented the term "ultra-macro-viral re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be B2B? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SVG. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! We will expand our power to iterate without lessening our capability to brand. The metrics for robust content are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for handling emerging value-added efficient intra-accounting? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. A List Apart practically invented the term "e-businesses". We will mesh the power of models to matrix. If you enhance intra-compellingly, you may have to extend holistically. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (one day) be able to productize courageously. Without preplanned niches, granular mega-short-term re-purposing are forced to become B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and J2EE. Without iteration, you will lack super-Total Quality Management. We will step up our capacity to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The reporting factor is C2C2B. We will rev up our aptitude to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to optimize. At A List Apart, we have proven we know how to benchmark super-holistically. We think we know that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to iterate ultra-strategically. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "transparent, end-to-end frictionless returns-on-investment" really mean? The bandwidth factor is sexy. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize courageously. What does it really mean to incentivize "wirelessly"? We understand that it is better to maximize transparently than to recontextualize holistically. The capability to benchmark perfectly leads to the capability to evolve iteravely. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. Without versioning metrics, you will lack communities.