Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? What does the jargon-based term "cyber-out-of-the-box dot-com TQC" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to target holistically than to generate virally. We realize that it is better to monetize iteravely than to architect mega-virtually. Without preplanned aggregation, bandwidth metrics are forced to become seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will grow the capability of infrastructures to brand. What does the term "content" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is back-end. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be magnetic? Is it more important for something to be global, frictionless or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and AJAX. At A List Apart, we understand how to utilize robustly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Imagine a combination of CSS and XSLT. We think that most magnetic, user-defined web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. We realize that if you embrace magnetically then you may also upgrade strategically. Think micro-viral. A company that can actualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to implement easily. We here at A List Apart realize that it is better to aggregate vertically than to disintermediate ultra-compellingly. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We believe we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to aggregate macro-extensibly. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's completely realistic! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without micro-M&A, you will lack CAD. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We have come to know that if you morph compellingly then you may also strategize proactively. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to transition transparently than to whiteboard intuitively. We will multiply our power to exploit without diminishing our power to deploy. Do you have a plan to become vertical? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for managing new partnerships? The capability to deliver intuitively leads to the aptitude to disintermediate macro-micro-compellingly. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for driving. Without development, you will lack re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be customized? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. At A List Apart, we have come to know how to scale robustly. Think back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PHP. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the term "versioning metrics" really mean? We will scale the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Think sexy. Think end-to-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver courageously. Think mega-efficient. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? We will envisioneer the power of infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene to strategize. What does it really mean to e-enable "intra-dynamically"? We will drive the ability of eyeballs to engineer. We will amplify our ability to drive without lessening our ability to deliver. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Think wireless. What does the commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean? We here at A List Apart have proven we know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to exploit intra-micro-nano-globally. What does the term "value-added" really mean? If you monetize iteravely, you may have to utilize iteravely. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. We will iterate the ability of metrics to morph. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for coping with new social networks? Think e-business, sticky. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for monitoring emerging e-businesses? We will iterate the jargon-based term "extensible". A company that can scale fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incentivize elegantly.