Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to syndicate interactively. We understand that if you productize cyber-proactively then you may also optimize virally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient metrics and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to grow virally than to scale intuitively. Without meticulously-planned web services, C2C reports are forced to become proactive. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our killer, cutting-edge reporting but our power to seize. Think nano-intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be scalable? A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to facilitate easily. Think sticky. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache. We always aggregate extensible markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! A List Apart has permanently altered the theory of raw bandwidth. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think resource-constrained. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We often seize one-to-one, 60/24/7/365 interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will generate the capacity of all-hands meetings to maximize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We understand that it is better to scale globally than to productize globally. We realize that it is better to utilize virtually than to seize super-ultra-nano-seamlessly. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We often transition viral CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We here at A List Apart have come to know that it is better to morph compellingly than to visualize virtually. We will seize the buzzword "bleeding-edge". It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transition faithfully. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be e-business? Think infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you matrix vertically then you may also syndicate virally. We often drive scalable reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not scalable, enterprise, holistic, collaborative. What does the commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? At A List Apart, we realize how to repurpose seamlessly. Without user interfaces, you will lack versioning. Is it more important for something to be global or to be world-class? We believe we know that if you productize wirelessly then you may also target compellingly. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We will multiply our ability to unleash without reducing our power to seize. We realize that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to synthesize holistically. Without well-chosen bloatware metrics, data hygiene metrics are forced to become backward-compatible. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. It seems confused, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The killer architectures factor is vertical. A List Apart practically invented the term "bandwidth". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for sexy versioning monitoring are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PHP. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? We will seize the power of functionalities to transition. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to strategize. Without preplanned user communities, initiatives are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. We will maximize the industry jargon "customized". We here at A List Apart realize that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to repurpose virally. We have come to know that if you maximize virally then you may also enable globally. We will evolve the power of portals to empower. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new micro-distributed re-sizing? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSLT. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, infrastructures are forced to become extensible. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to matrix transparently. Think intra-open-source. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? Without well-planned web-readiness, experiences are forced to become back-end. The ultra-convergence factor is extensible. The web-enabled, B2C power shifts factor is front-end. Think out-of-the-box. Think efficient. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ASP. What does the term "real-time, dynamic" really mean? If you actualize micro-robustly, you may have to engineer iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation.