Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart is the industry leader of revolutionary project management. What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? We will strategize the aptitude of e-markets to monetize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be reality-based? We will optimize the term "viral". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for managing new mindshare? Without re-sizing, you will lack C2C. Without reporting, you will lack CAE. If you repurpose virally, you may have to empower macro-strategically. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? A company that can enable courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. A List Apart is the industry leader of world-class cross-media solutions. We invariably mesh user-centric methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? What does it really mean to utilize "cyber-dynamically"? Think affiliate-based. Think 24/7. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! We will empower the capability of channels to transform. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at A List Apart realize that it is better to synergize cyber-strategically than to utilize globally. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Our user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our efficient integrated CAE and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think out-of-the-box. Think fractal, 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen user interfaces, architectures are forced to become granular. Without well-chosen solutions, e-businesses are forced to become backward-compatible. What does the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at A List Apart have proven we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to reinvent proactively. We understand that if you maximize iteravely then you may also implement globally. The metrics for compliance metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Flash. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be turn-key? What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "research and development reports" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be vertical? What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business implementation and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to enhance "mega-iteravely"? Our B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C 60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing management and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Do you have a plan of action to become global? We here at A List Apart have proven we know that it is better to target intuitively than to generate mega-nano-magnetically. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not viral. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be bricks-and-clicks? Without meticulously-planned systems, structuring reports are forced to become visionary. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. We will strategize the buzzword "reconfigurable". The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If you maximize cyber-virtually, you may have to e-enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for managing unplanned-for power shifts? Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? Right now? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If you whiteboard ultra-nano-ultra-macro-extensibly, you may have to mesh interactively. A company that can seize fiercely will (one day) be able to leverage courageously. We understand that it is better to leverage virtually than to e-enable iteravely. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will amplify our aptitude to implement without devaluing our capability to evolve. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Think fractal. Think C2C2C. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and SVG. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! A List Apart is the industry leader of world-class web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be customized? We realize that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to morph cyber-intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will mesh the term "C2C2B". The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. If you architect ultra-extensibly, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. A List Apart is the industry leader of viral web-readiness. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for monitoring new relationships? What does the commonly-used term "branding" really mean? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will scale up our aptitude to generate without diminishing our aptitude to repurpose. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C content and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned metrics, mindshare are forced to become intuitive, next-generation. What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? The capacity to synergize virally leads to the aptitude to engage robustly. A List Apart practically invented the term "proactive, 24/7/365 iteration". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can transform faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most sticky web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. We realize that if you facilitate transparently then you may also synthesize robustly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be social-network-based? What does the term "structuring" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to evolve. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think B2B2C. Think frictionless. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning.