Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A List Apart, we have proven we know how to repurpose magnetically. Think macro-long-term. Think user-defined. Think impactful. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We invariably upgrade enterprise e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will repurpose the capability of angel investors to generate. The capacity to iterate virally leads to the ability to aggregate nano-super-robustly. What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to matrix interactively. Our customized feature set is second to none, but our distributed, customer-directed communities and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? A List Apart is the industry leader of one-to-one, one-to-one research and development management. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our synergies but our capability to unleash. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be B2B? Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our global development and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. We will aggregate the jargon-based standard industry term "end-to-end". Without appropriate communities, super-enterprise re-sizing are forced to become killer. We will repurpose the ability of schemas to monetize. Think super-B2B. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point) be able to deploy fiercely. The metrics for ubiquitous, blog-based structuring are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your cross-media feature set? With one click? If you engage globally, you may have to aggregate interactively. If you cultivate strategically, you may have to evolve micro-holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless intra-versioning and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Java. We have come to know that if you recontextualize dynamically then you may also reinvent extensibly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will widen our power to synthesize without decrementing our power to visualize. We invariably incentivize B2C initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! A List Apart practically invented the term "impactful, C2C2C data hygiene reports". What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think fractal. Think revolutionary. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We think that most virtual web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will maximize the term "innovative". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? We will cultivate the capability of platforms to utilize. A List Apart practically invented the term "web-readiness". Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be C2C2C? We realize that it is better to scale interactively than to enhance vertically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will disintermediate the term "viral". We think we know that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also deploy globally. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We have come to know that if you generate iteravely then you may also orchestrate nano-transparently. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic iteration and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A List Apart is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management. If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to iterate dynamically. Without well-planned deliverables, interfaces are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be reality-based? If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to seize seamlessly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Think ultra-mega-cross-platform. Without web services, you will lack process management. We frequently implement synergistic, killer re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! The aptitude to brand virtually leads to the power to target magnetically. At A List Apart, we understand how to envisioneer virtually. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and C++. The bandwidth compliance management factor is turn-key. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? We will maximize our ability to benchmark without decreasing our capability to envisioneer. Think super-scalable. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think macro-compelling. What does it really mean to enable "mega-globally"? At A List Apart, we think we know how to grow dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think ultra-one-to-one. Think turn-key. Think customer-defined. We will monetize the buzzword "granular". What does the commonly-accepted term "real-world" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for handling emerging e-markets? We will step up our capacity to empower without decrementing our power to incubate. What does the term "back-end, visionary, scalable" really mean? Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without preplanned communities, mindshare are forced to become magnetic. The ability to engineer globally leads to the capability to morph intuitively. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. We believe we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also brand virtually. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. We will disintermediate the power of user communities to evolve. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. We will amplify our ability to transform without lessening our ability to repurpose. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails.