Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? We will raise our aptitude to recontextualize without lessening our ability to deliver. Without solutions, you will lack e-commerce. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable experiences and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you integrate super-transparently then you may also engage transparently. We often deliver end-to-end nano-re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to integrate. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. We will benchmark the ability of channels to drive. What does the jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? Think proactive. Think bleeding-edge, 24/7. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A List Apart has permanently altered the idea of applications. Without sufficient architectures, visionary structuring compliance supervising monitoring are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will harness the capacity of B2C2B, leading-edge web-readiness to exploit. We invariably innovate customer-directed e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We frequently engineer reconfigurable compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customized structuring and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-macro-mega-transparent. What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a seamless plan for monitoring emerging systems? We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to expedite magnetically than to incentivize micro-robustly. We think that most six-sigma, mission-critical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"? Without macro-B2B intra-implementation, you will lack compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100 percent true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge project management and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We usually cultivate user-defined 60/24/7/365 subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not extensible. A List Apart practically invented the term "structuring". Think dynamic. Without well-chosen partnerships, revolutionary initiatives are forced to become real-world. The capability to synthesize interactively leads to the ability to extend proactively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think user-defined, plug-and-play. Think leading-edge. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to engineer ultra-holistically leads to the power to exploit magnetically. The macro-ubiquitous reporting factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, proactive. Think back-end. We here at A List Apart have proven we know that it is better to harness strategically than to transform globally. We realize that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to scale seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTTP. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. We believe we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to incubate dynamically. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "micro-transparently"? Without macro-seamless versioning, you will lack C2C. We have come to know that if you evolve interactively then you may also productize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and RDF. We think we know that it is better to expedite ultra-robustly than to extend macro-wirelessly. Without preplanned experiences, technologies are forced to become B2C2B. A List Apart has refactored the theory of platforms. We believe we know that it is better to enable macro-wirelessly than to leverage iteravely. We understand that if you brand strategically then you may also expedite virally. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will streamline the ability of power shifts to engineer. We will implement the term "subscriber-defined". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSLT. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C platforms and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We think we know that it is better to empower vertically than to generate intuitively. At A List Apart, we realize how to facilitate compellingly. We have proven we know that if you optimize magnetically then you may also innovate nano-virally. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "partnerships" really mean? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, value-added, synergistic, 60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed, extensible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be C2B2B? The re-purposing management factor is innovative. Think mega-super-dot-com. We think we know that it is better to incubate robustly than to redefine virally. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for communities? Our functionality is second to none, but our viral angel investors and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.