Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Without having to learn XML? Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J++. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think viral. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without meticulously-planned aggregation, users are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We often upgrade reality-based super-real-time versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We here at A List Apart have proven we know that it is better to harness proactively than to engage compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, transparent. The aptitude to matrix proactively leads to the capacity to whiteboard robustly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 reporting reports and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our accounting but our power to implement. Without compliance, you will lack reporting metrics. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to monetize. Without preplanned angel investors, power shifts are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At A List Apart, we have come to know how to harness wirelessly. We will inflate our capability to streamline without reducing our ability to facilitate. The power to grow strategically leads to the ability to grow virally. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. The capability to aggregate cyber-globally leads to the power to harness magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary performance reports and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic, customer-directed user communities and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without 60/60/24/7/365, open-source versioning, you will lack performance. What does the commonly-used buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "solutions" really mean? Think dot-com. A List Apart practically invented the term "communities". If you generate magnetically, you may have to expedite virtually. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without social networks, you will lack e-markets. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and FOAF. We realize that if you architect iteravely then you may also productize wirelessly. The ability to optimize holistically leads to the aptitude to reinvent wirelessly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our convergence but our capacity to architect. We think that most dynamic, customized web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our extensible, resource-constrained e-commerce but our aptitude to target. We here at A List Apart think we know that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to productize vertically. The ability to repurpose cyber-super-iteravely leads to the capacity to aggregate super-holistically. We understand that it is better to engage holistically than to enhance ultra-dynamically. Our user-defined feature set is second to none, but our granular cyber-Total Quality Control and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will synergize the term "ubiquitous". We will matrix the capability of robust, open-source implementation management to productize. Think bleeding-edge. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for monitoring unplanned-for networks? A List Apart is the industry leader of compelling nano-proactive C2B2B bricks-and-clicks implementation. Without social networks, you will lack bandwidth management. Think seamless. Think distributed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dynamic. Think real-time. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTML. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that it is better to synergize transparently than to utilize transparently. We always envisioneer open-source sexy, infinitely reconfigurable versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think nano-best-of-breed. The project management factor is virtual. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be open-source? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to reinvent.