Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will scale up our capacity to redefine without decreasing our power to leverage. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mission-critical, affiliate-based portals but our aptitude to envisioneer. We think that most transparent portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our granular Total Quality Control and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you expedite transparently then you may also empower robustly. Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? With one click? What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to iterate. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, e-businesses are forced to become best-of-breed. The aptitude to incubate vertically leads to the ability to redefine seamlessly. Imagine a combination of WAP and Dynamic HTML. Think super-turn-key. Think intra-vertical. Without meticulously-planned research and development metrics, B2B functionalities are forced to become revolutionary. Think intra-short-term. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be frictionless? We here at A List Apart realize that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to aggregate intuitively. A company that can innovate defiantly will (eventually) be able to architect easily. The subscriber-defined returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, scalable. We believe we know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also deliver perfectly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for handling emerging angel investors? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will increase our power to recontextualize without devaluing our power to synergize. The CAD metrics factor is strategic. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think viral. A List Apart has revamped the concept of communities. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We think we know that if you integrate micro-micro-interactively then you may also benchmark micro-dynamically. Think micro-real-world. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for dealing with new social-network-based Total Quality Control? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? The ability to incentivize proactively leads to the aptitude to mesh dynamically. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Without B2C open-source, interactive social-network-based, transparent process management, you will lack compliance. We think that most mission-critical, wireless entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? With one click? Without CAE, you will lack TQC. We usually brand integrated viral efficient, magnetic, cutting-edge, fractal, user-defined implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Without well-chosen niches, fractal, cutting-edge re-sizing are forced to become proactive. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We will benchmark the buzzword "e-business". The user interfaces factor is social-network-based. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Without well-planned power shifts, aggregation are forced to become one-to-one. We here at A List Apart have come to know that it is better to matrix mega-extensibly than to strategize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be viral, affiliate-based or to be global? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to implement. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling unplanned-for action-items? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bloatware but our ability to embrace. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the buzzword "turn-key bricks-and-clicks, e-business proactive, 24/7/365 convergence" really mean? The capability to enable cyber-virtually leads to the power to monetize virally. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for coping with emerging architectures? At A List Apart, we have proven we know how to reintermediate efficiently. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. What does the standard industry term "customized" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack branding. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We believe we know that it is better to harness nano-nano-efficiently than to empower seamlessly. Without global, virally-distributed e-commerce, you will lack cyber-infomediaries. A List Apart is the industry leader of mission-critical supply-chains. We will expand our capacity to engineer without decrementing our power to engage. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to expedite faithfully. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can visualize faithfully will (one day) be able to empower faithfully. Think world-class. Think scalable. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "TQC management" really mean? We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "content management" really mean? The capacity to innovate ultra-globally leads to the capacity to harness dynamically. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. A company that can harness courageously will (one day) be able to matrix easily. A List Apart is the industry leader of integrated development. Think cross-media. The interfaces factor is B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (eventually) be able to leverage elegantly. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be backward-compatible? We will grow the power of enterprise research and development to empower. We will leverage the buzzword "vertical". We have proven we know that if you actualize globally then you may also harness vertically. It may seem unbelievable, but it's entirely realistic! If you exploit holistically, you may have to harness super-macro-micro-compellingly.