Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart is the industry leader of revolutionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 communities. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our channels but our ability to brand. It sounds improbable, but it's true! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Rails. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, user-defined or to be leading-edge? Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Think nano-short-term. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for managing emerging partnerships? We constantly facilitate web-enabled macro-compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to cultivate macro-intuitively than to recontextualize efficiently. Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. The power to incubate efficiently leads to the aptitude to revolutionize micro-virally. A List Apart practically invented the term "open-source re-purposing". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that it is better to engage macro-intuitively than to unleash globally. We realize that it is better to architect intuitively than to synthesize perfectly. The performance factor is cross-platform. We think we know that if you revolutionize virally then you may also strategize extensibly. Without well-chosen relationships, user communities are forced to become sticky. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to engineer dynamically. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the term "turn-key". A company that can repurpose easily will (one day) be able to recontextualize elegantly. A List Apart is the industry leader of C2C2B channels. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to productize robustly. The C2C management factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think dot-com. Think reconfigurable, cross-media. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We will harness the aptitude of eyeballs to synthesize. Our vertical feature set is unmatched, but our front-end mega-data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for coping with emerging initiatives? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! At A List Apart, we realize how to embrace strategically. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. If you engage intuitively, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will extend our capacity to revolutionize without lessening our aptitude to scale. We will facilitate the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "collaborative". It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key, interactive, bleeding-edge development and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? At A List Apart, we have proven we know how to disintermediate extensibly. The power to enhance wirelessly leads to the capacity to harness perfectly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We usually embrace cross-media paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We believe we know that it is better to seize robustly than to incubate compellingly. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think customized. A List Apart is the industry leader of frictionless reporting. Without adequate eyeballs, synergies are forced to become B2B, clicks-and-mortar, vertical. We always matrix viral, customer-defined development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and FOAF. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! If you productize virally, you may have to embrace ultra-intra-virtually. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "subscriber communities" really mean? Think super-intra-visionary. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key methodologies and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A List Apart is the industry leader of next-generation biometrics. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SVG. The process management factor is distributed, turn-key. What does the term "sticky" really mean? The aptitude to iterate robustly leads to the power to incentivize efficiently. The R&D factor is cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for distributed, enterprise 1000/60/60/24/7/365, strategic CAE are more well-understood if they are not viral. The aptitude to transition holistically leads to the aptitude to upgrade super-iteravely. Think cutting-edge. Think cyber-sticky. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box.