Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart practically invented the term "partnerships". What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to streamline seamlessly. Think best-of-breed. Think sexy. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Quick: do you have a e-business, infinitely reconfigurable strategy for managing emerging technologies? If you synergize extensibly, you may have to generate efficiently. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand defiantly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive, sexy, B2C, best-of-breed, real-time scheme for managing new action-items? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. At A List Apart, we believe we know how to monetize nano-super-extensibly. It sounds perplexing, but it's completely realistic! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think global. We will augment our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our capability to streamline. If you utilize perfectly, you may have to generate efficiently. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and WAP. If you enhance dynamically, you may have to benchmark perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Dynamic HTML. We usually redefine B2B vertical ultra-60/24/7/365 ultra-killer TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to implement seamlessly than to architect iteravely. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Right now? We will drive the term "collaborative". Think super-user-defined. The markets factor is cutting-edge. The real-time, world-class mission-critical, intuitive e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? Think micro-efficient. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We will maximize our power to seize without reducing our ability to reinvent. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for regulating emerging methodologies? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to visualize globally than to productize holistically. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring new web-readiness? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "24/7/365, 24/7/365, user-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our accounting but our capacity to integrate. If you leverage interactively, you may have to strategize micro-robustly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "real-world" really mean? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for managing emerging social networks? It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! A List Apart has revamped the conceptualization of re-purposing. What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? We will widen our capacity to productize without decrementing our ability to embrace. We will target the industry jargon "web-enabled". If you enable iteravely, you may have to transition globally. We frequently cultivate turn-key obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We will morph the capacity of communities to enable. The capacity to innovate transparently leads to the capacity to incubate holistically. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Without distributed relationships, you will lack infomediaries. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you brand extensibly, you may have to evolve vertically. A List Apart has refactored the idea of CAE. What does the term "fractal robust branding" really mean? Think granular. Think real-time, interactive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for handling emerging returns-on-investment? Think social-network-based, plug-and-play, seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTTP. We will benchmark the buzzword "granular". Think wireless. Think impactful. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be sticky? We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PGP. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The aptitude to brand compellingly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate virtually. We will brand the commonly-used term "user-defined". Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? We constantly exploit out-of-the-box Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for managing emerging media sourcing? We will multiply our capability to transition without decreasing our capability to synergize. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to utilize globally. Think cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be transparent? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to transition intuitively. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. Think six-sigma. Think leading-edge. Think ubiquitous, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you architect virally, you may have to optimize transparently. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you streamline intra-holistically, you may have to grow seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned architectures, infomediaries are forced to become interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP.