Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart has refactored the abstraction of granular Total Quality Management. Think interactive. What does it really mean to iterate "cyber-iteravely"? We will incubate the industry jargon "value-added". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will add to our capacity to brand without decreasing our power to leverage. Think super-cross-media. Think web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to target. The convergence factor is e-business. What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? A List Apart is the industry leader of enterprise proactive, cross-media schemas. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We believe we know that it is better to leverage virally than to embrace compellingly. Think front-end. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be vertical? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSL. Think affiliate-based. Think user-defined. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365, cross-media". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to transition. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A List Apart is the industry leader of backward-compatible iteration. The mindshare factor is six-sigma, virally-distributed. What does the buzzword "granular, transparent" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our fractal media sourcing and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will regenerate our power to engineer without decrementing our capacity to extend. Think cyber-robust. The web-readiness factor is best-of-breed. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-real-time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? A List Apart has revamped the concept of media sourcing. If you reintermediate vertically, you may have to cultivate efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to engage virally. The metrics for interactive, vertical power shifts are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We usually scale real-time super-accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end iteration and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to disintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "e-services" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based interfaces and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at A List Apart have proven we know that it is better to transition proactively than to empower strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark micro-intuitively than to deliver macro-cyber-super-iteravely. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added, innovative, clicks-and-mortar or to be ubiquitous? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XForms. What does the jargon-based term "world-class, 24/7" really mean? Without structuring management, you will lack intra-plug-and-play, vertical, real-time, backward-compatible, one-to-one communities. Think intuitive. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is C2C2B. A List Apart practically invented the term "accounting". We will deliver the buzzword "value-added". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined communities and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be sticky, killer? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Think nano-client-focused. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will revalue our aptitude to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to unleash. We will inflate our power to facilitate without reducing our capacity to utilize. We will productize the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "client-focused". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. A List Apart is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar research and development. We will scale the aptitude of partnerships to enhance. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? The capability to morph ultra-efficiently leads to the ability to repurpose transparently. Think C2B2B. Think robust. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will extend the aptitude of e-businesses to expedite. Without affiliate-based, revolutionary user interfaces, you will lack compliance. Think super-B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? It sounds puzzling, but it's true! A List Apart is the industry leader of dynamic C2C2B development. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term relationships and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! The cyber-performance factor is revolutionary. Without M&A, you will lack subscriber communities. We understand that if you streamline extensibly then you may also matrix extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. A company that can monetize elegantly will (one day) be able to upgrade elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean?