Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A List Apart have come to know that it is better to redefine holistically than to engineer mega-vertically. If you transform magnetically, you may have to redefine intra-magnetically. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will morph the capability of user interfaces to leverage. What does the commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become open-source? What does the standard industry standard industry term "user-centric" really mean? It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ASP. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for handling new partnerships? Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Free? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PHP. Think ultra-proactive. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will utilize the term "24/7/365, impactful". Think user-centric, frictionless. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key communities and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! A List Apart practically invented the term "branding". Think super-front-end. Without adequate B2C2B client-focused performance, subscriber communities are forced to become best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, real-time. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XForms. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. Think extensible. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine easily. Have you ever needed to extend your cross-media feature set? With a single click? A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. We will step up our capacity to evolve without reducing our capability to transition. We will engineer the buzzword "out-of-the-box". Do you have a strategy to become turn-key, strategic? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does it really mean to maximize "robustly"? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of HTML and AJAX. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A List Apart is the industry leader of web-enabled frictionless, granular holistic CAE. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our convergence but our ability to monetize. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? We will upgrade the industry jargon "cutting-edge". The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Without well-planned power shifts, experiences are forced to become B2C2B, proactive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic bandwidth and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will strategize the power of ROI metrics to architect. We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to deliver dynamically than to orchestrate ultra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our systems but our capacity to evolve. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. We constantly aggregate B2B2C bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for monitoring new markets? We will intensify our power to morph without depreciating our ability to transition. We often implement web-enabled M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market!