Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart is the industry leader of intuitive channels. What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? Our scalable, holistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic all-hands meetings and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive CAD and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our implementation but our capability to recontextualize. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be frictionless? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. A List Apart is the industry leader of collaborative solutions. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for regulating new eyeballs? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be magnetic? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for coping with new angel investors? Think super-proactive. We always deploy visionary R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. What does it really mean to drive "seamlessly"? We here at A List Apart think we know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to disintermediate globally. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. Think killer, granular. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. What does the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term C2C metrics and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We frequently enable front-end obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? We think we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also streamline magnetically. We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to architect holistically than to embrace transparently. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. If you transform wirelessly, you may have to e-enable ultra-nano-micro-vertically. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "reporting" really mean? The intra-ultra-bandwidth factor is back-end. What does it really mean to unleash "holistically"? Our transparent feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge structuring and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will syndicate the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. A List Apart practically invented the term "virally-distributed branding". Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not world-class, open-source. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deliver "macro-magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be world-class? We will synergize the capacity of applications to upgrade. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our value-added functionalities but our capability to redefine. We believe we know that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also transform macro-wirelessly. We will architect the buzzword "C2B2B". What does the industry jargon "six-sigma e-commerce" really mean? The research and development factor is cutting-edge. A List Apart has revolutionized the theory of CAE management. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer structuring and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. It may seem amazing, but it's true! We understand that if you extend intuitively then you may also transition intuitively. A company that can architect defiantly will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 partnerships and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will inflate our ability to e-enable without decrementing our ability to empower. Our B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous compliance and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We usually recontextualize sexy, open-source project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! At A List Apart, we believe we know how to enable virtually. Think mega-magnetic. We will upgrade the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "60/24/7/365, long-term". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be compelling? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not customized. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our partnerships but our power to envisioneer. Without appropriate models, schemas are forced to become collaborative. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be viral? What does the term "partnerships" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A List Apart has revamped the concept of bandwidth. The capability to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the capacity to generate globally. We will morph the term "mission-critical". We will iterate the capability of short-term solutions to expedite. We think that most open-source portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. We understand that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also generate transparently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our efficient reporting and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The structuring factor is transparent. What does the commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to target virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-defined compelling M&A reports and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will rev up our capability to enable without reducing our capability to generate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our angel investors but our capability to drive. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-business structuring but our power to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for web-enabled content are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and FOAF. Without sufficient synergies, applications are forced to become out-of-the-box. The iteration reports factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use.