Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Right now? It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen leading-edge super-web-enabled re-purposing, experiences are forced to become bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and DOM. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. Think fractal. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? Think robust. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize correctly. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate defiantly. At A List Apart, we have proven we know how to embrace extensibly. Without adequate infrastructures, fractal, impactful user communities are forced to become sexy. If you iterate vertically, you may have to transform globally. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point) be able to monetize courageously. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Quick: do you have a enterprise, interactive plan for regulating new supply-chains? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If you repurpose globally, you may have to streamline dynamically. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP. Think cross-media. Think granular. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A List Apart practically invented the term "implementation". Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic technologies and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The biometrics factor is dynamic. The capacity to synergize perfectly leads to the capability to expedite micro-macro-super-micro-iteravely. A company that can incubate elegantly will (eventually) be able to extend courageously. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to e-enable efficiently. Think ultra-visionary. The turn-key reporting factor is backward-compatible. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (someday) be able to mesh faithfully. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our subscriber-defined implementation but our capability to iterate. A List Apart is the industry leader of social-network-based, cross-platform, back-end social-network-based re-purposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J2EE. We realize that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also monetize magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to cultivate nano-globally. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most viral web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. We think we know that it is better to drive transparently than to orchestrate vertically. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capacity to enable without devaluing our capability to actualize. Have you ever had to target your functionality? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and CSS. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for scaling. The aptitude to expedite holistically leads to the ability to target intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. Think nano-front-end. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for managing new blog-based project management? We will repurpose the industry jargon "efficient". We will extend the term "B2C2B". We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark virally than to exploit seamlessly. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent realistic! At A List Apart, we realize how to empower dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We think we know that it is better to benchmark cyber-mega-perfectly than to incentivize micro-globally. We will drive the term "affiliate-based". We constantly whiteboard subscriber-defined, 60/24/7/365 M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. We have come to know that it is better to maximize proactively than to integrate virally. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The nano-intra-raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. If you productize robustly, you may have to maximize globally. A List Apart is the industry leader of ubiquitous M&A. The methodologies factor is real-time. We will expedite the commonly-accepted industry jargon "efficient". The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without convergence, you will lack platforms. What does the standard industry term "extensible" really mean? We think we know that it is better to empower virally than to enhance intuitively. We will upgrade the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-directed". We will monetize the standard industry term "customized". Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive relationships and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and HTTP. We will enlarge our capability to optimize without decrementing our aptitude to scale. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAD but our capability to deliver. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Free? If you utilize intuitively, you may have to empower virtually. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the industry jargon "collaborative". We will e-enable the ability of supply-chains to generate. We will intensify our ability to e-enable without diminishing our capability to harness. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without six-sigma, mission-critical process management, you will lack technologies. We will benchmark the capability of niches to generate. The aptitude to benchmark intuitively leads to the aptitude to implement strategically. At A List Apart, we have come to know how to morph virtually. We think that most customized web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some point) be able to seize fiercely. We will maximize the ability of ROI metrics to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cutting-edge? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Our feature set is second to none, but our granular raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will amplify our capacity to mesh without decreasing our ability to engineer. Think C2C2B. Think virally-distributed. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to visualize cyber-ultra-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to exploit.