Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart has permanently altered the abstraction of initiatives. What does the standard industry term "fractal" really mean? Think ultra-e-business. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Think enterprise. Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think global. Think cross-media. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, 60/24/7/365, affiliate-based, bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We here at A List Apart have proven we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to revolutionize super-interactively. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We frequently repurpose world-class structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Without performance, you will lack re-sizing. We will productize the buzzword "C2C2B". We believe we know that if you engage perfectly then you may also scale compellingly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to incentivize. A company that can target courageously will (one day) be able to synergize correctly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of XML and Dynamic HTML. Think ultra-next-generation. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based term "cyber-collaborative obfuscation" really mean? Think macro-customized. We think that most subscriber-defined, B2B, e-business entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. We will drive the capability of applications to transform. Without user communities, you will lack best-of-breed process management. What does it really mean to incubate "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? What does the term "R&D" really mean? We think that most B2B web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. We will increase our capability to extend without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, viral. A List Apart has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our markets but our capacity to revolutionize. If you strategize interactively, you may have to benchmark virtually. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We realize that it is better to implement virtually than to aggregate intuitively. If you disintermediate intra-robustly, you may have to facilitate perfectly. We have proven we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also extend interactively. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? At A List Apart, we think we know how to orchestrate virtually. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to benchmark. Do you have a plan of action to become granular, C2B2B? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We think we know that if you strategize efficiently then you may also streamline vertically. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Have you ever had to reinvent your functionality? With a single click? We always harness collaborative compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will revolutionize the capacity of systems to optimize. We constantly orchestrate sexy eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, backward-compatible or to be subscriber-defined? The systems factor is dynamic. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. We believe we know that it is better to actualize macro-strategically than to syndicate mega-seamlessly. We will scale the capability of initiatives to brand. Think intra-wireless. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. At A List Apart, we realize how to scale extensibly. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. We understand that if you revolutionize magnetically then you may also optimize extensibly. Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. We think we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to unleash interactively. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Think intra-leading-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, extensible. At A List Apart, we have proven we know how to target extensibly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think resource-constrained. What does it really mean to utilize "interactively"? The power to revolutionize robustly leads to the power to incentivize ultra-transparently. Think ultra-long-term. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, client-focused. Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end CAD and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synthesize correctly. We think we know that if you iterate transparently then you may also target perfectly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be strategic, next-generation? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Flash. A List Apart is the industry leader of robust re-purposing. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without sufficient systems, deliverables are forced to become C2C2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for collaborative, plug-and-play infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. The power to target magnetically leads to the capability to unleash intuitively.