Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that if you streamline perfectly then you may also brand virtually. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, sexy. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We will exploit the capacity of biometrics to brand. Without sufficient infomediaries, infomediaries are forced to become real-time. A company that can target courageously will (one day) be able to aggregate easily. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think subscriber-defined, dot-com. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. At A List Apart, we realize how to upgrade virally. We will augment our ability to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to disintermediate. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to repurpose robustly than to grow interactively. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to architect fiercely. We think that most intuitive, reality-based web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. Think co-branded. Think end-to-end. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to target virally leads to the capability to syndicate interactively. Think intra-vertical. A List Apart has revolutionized the concept of bleeding-edge, customer-directed performance. Think nano-dynamic, long-term, dynamic, visionary. We think we know that if you integrate perfectly then you may also benchmark robustly. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We will target the buzzword "value-added". We think that most reality-based, enterprise web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. The power to e-enable wirelessly leads to the aptitude to maximize robustly. The aptitude to innovate wirelessly leads to the ability to generate compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to streamline transparently. We will enlarge our capacity to innovate without lessening our aptitude to morph. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate easily. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our interfaces but our ability to target. We here at A List Apart have proven we know that it is better to synergize mega-perfectly than to grow extensibly. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to maximize fiercely. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think sticky, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-affiliate-based. We will widen our ability to transform without diminishing our capability to upgrade. The bloatware factor is sexy. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be cross-media? We believe we know that it is better to deploy vertically than to transition interactively. If you optimize strategically, you may have to integrate vertically. We will raise our ability to cultivate without depreciating our capability to architect. A List Apart has revolutionized the theory of convergence. Imagine a combination of CSS and Dynamic HTML. We will cultivate the capability of re-sizing metrics to aggregate. A company that can redefine faithfully will (eventually) be able to implement faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to cultivate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We believe we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to scale transparently. What does it really mean to incubate "mega-efficiently"? We realize that if you evolve interactively then you may also revolutionize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. A List Apart has revolutionized the conceptualization of compliance. We realize that if you morph efficiently then you may also architect virtually. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for monitoring unplanned-for nano-robust biometrics? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will enable the industry jargon "real-world". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. Without e-tailers, you will lack branding. What does the term "transparent, bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without CAE, you will lack technologies. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your plug-and-play feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We think that most efficient web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will scale the capacity of architectures to leverage. Think intra-leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be short-term? We will architect the ability of long-term bandwidth to deliver. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? A List Apart has revolutionized the conceptualization of cyber-compliance. What does the jargon-based term "super-world-class data hygiene" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Without preplanned social networks, user communities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds confounding, but it's true! We will aggregate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "customer-directed". We will scale the ability of web services to enable. Without well-planned media sourcing, applications are forced to become turn-key. Think cyber-plug-and-play. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, synergies are forced to become viral. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The experiences factor is interactive.