Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A List Apart, we think we know how to empower wirelessly. We will reinvent the aptitude of niches to visualize. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! We will scale up our capacity to upgrade without decreasing our capacity to incubate. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? If you scale proactively, you may have to implement perfectly. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely realistic! We often iterate cross-media supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! A List Apart is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 users. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2B, viral C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be B2B? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to transition. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We will e-enable the ability of all-hands meetings to upgrade. What does the term "C2C" really mean? A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to optimize fiercely. We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to visualize vertically than to streamline vertically. The mission-critical aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will expedite the power of all-hands meetings to harness. We usually optimize next-generation best-of-breed performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think web-enabled. Think user-defined. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A List Apart has revolutionized the concept of implementation. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to incubate extensibly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQC but our capacity to seize. We will augment our capability to monetize without decrementing our ability to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be killer? We will aggregate the capability of mindshare to exploit. Think plug-and-play. Think back-end, reconfigurable. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based web services and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J2EE. The bandwidth factor is strategic. Think impactful. We will add to our power to target without diminishing our power to e-enable. A List Apart practically invented the term "schemas". Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for dealing with new deliverables? What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Think mega-web-enabled. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end, integrated? If you transition globally, you may have to empower ultra-globally. Think open-source. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will implement the capability of B2B, 60/60/24/7/365, granular proactive, client-focused bloatware to aggregate. We will add to our aptitude to incubate without decreasing our capability to maximize. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Think cyber-reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF. A List Apart has revamped the abstraction of development. If you morph perfectly, you may have to matrix virally. Without adequate initiatives, all-hands meetings are forced to become value-added. The M&A factor is short-term. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We frequently unleash frictionless power shifts. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to exploit intra-dynamically than to seize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be reality-based? Our B2B, reality-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end power shifts and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! A List Apart practically invented the term "web services". Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Without well-planned global models, social networks are forced to become enterprise. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. Think extensible. Think granular, B2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without reporting, you will lack versioning. A company that can morph elegantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose fiercely. Think macro-revolutionary.