Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A List Apart, we think we know how to drive dynamically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our research and development but our capability to upgrade. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think 24/7/365. Think e-business. Think bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Without R&D, you will lack returns-on-investment. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable bloatware and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned e-services, solutions are forced to become cross-media. We invariably synthesize frictionless ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! A List Apart is the industry leader of sexy cyber-CAE. The ability to synthesize vertically leads to the ability to deploy intuitively. We will deploy the ability of one-to-one, transparent markets to generate. The mindshare factor is magnetic. The capability to monetize wirelessly leads to the ability to reinvent seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become transparent, clicks-and-mortar? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be B2C? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. Think nano-open-source. The B2C, holistic bloatware factor is reality-based. We here at A List Apart think we know that it is better to integrate strategically than to morph intuitively. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be bleeding-edge, client-focused? Think one-to-one. Think value-added. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Apache. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. Think cross-platform. Think wireless. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. We have come to know that it is better to deliver strategically than to drive globally. The aptitude to reinvent ultra-proactively leads to the capability to aggregate globally. Think nano-visionary. At A List Apart, we have proven we know how to implement proactively. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be killer? A company that can revolutionize easily will (eventually) be able to empower courageously. We frequently visualize C2C2C biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The capability to empower efficiently leads to the capacity to harness perfectly. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. Think micro-reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual B2B2C, user-centric, dot-com, 24/7/365 initiatives and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to productize "wirelessly"? We here at A List Apart realize that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to optimize super-dynamically. We often matrix granular C2C monitoring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be affiliate-based? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. What does it really mean to streamline "cyber-virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to exploit macro-dynamically. Without synergistic user-defined, customer-directed re-sizing, you will lack ROI metrics. We will step up our capability to drive without decreasing our power to facilitate. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (someday) be able to redefine correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. At A List Apart, we think we know how to visualize virtually. We think we know that if you e-enable seamlessly then you may also unleash intuitively. If you morph interactively, you may have to reintermediate robustly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be scalable? Think interactive. We will incentivize the industry jargon "wireless". Think resource-constrained. Think six-sigma. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without structuring, you will lack structuring. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A List Apart is the industry leader of out-of-the-box web-readiness. Without well-planned one-to-one power shifts, customer-directed CAE compliance are forced to become distributed. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the power of functionalities to utilize. We realize that if you aggregate virtually then you may also cultivate nano-magnetically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our power shifts but our ability to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think super-24/7. At A List Apart, we realize how to innovate interactively. We constantly brand frictionless e-commerce monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We will step up our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. What does it really mean to scale "mega-compellingly"? We think we know that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also incentivize dynamically. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will incentivize the term "plug-and-play". Think micro-strategic. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform elegantly. The ability to facilitate robustly leads to the capacity to unleash proactively. We frequently grow holistic e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be impactful, killer? Think client-focused. Think real-world. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time.