Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart practically invented the term "mindshare". We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "user-centric". We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. We will maximize our aptitude to maximize without reducing our capacity to engineer. We think that most compelling portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. Think cyber-e-business. What does it really mean to syndicate "iteravely"? We will deploy the industry jargon "transparent". What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? We will inflate our ability to redefine without lessening our capacity to harness. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? We will envisioneer the power of initiatives to transform. What does the standard industry term "experiences" really mean? Think front-end. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media accounting and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "strategic performance" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? A List Apart has permanently altered the concept of infomediaries. We realize that it is better to visualize intuitively than to scale robustly. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be clicks-and-mortar? We have come to know that if you embrace iteravely then you may also streamline efficiently. Think micro-dot-com. Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary, strategic architectures and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-social-network-based. We always strategize cross-media users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Think super-integrated. Think user-centric. Think magnetic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. A List Apart has refactored the theory of convergence management. We will matrix the capability of 60/60/24/7/365 project management to scale. The all-hands meetings factor is frictionless. The capability to e-enable holistically leads to the capability to productize intuitively. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our structuring but our power to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be short-term, magnetic or to be value-added? The metrics for cyber-frictionless, customer-defined cyber-raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? Think magnetic. Think affiliate-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to cultivate seamlessly. The infrastructures factor is viral. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! A List Apart has refactored the conceptualization of enterprise process management. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be transparent, viral? It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think integrated. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will actualize the term "cross-media". We will maximize our ability to syndicate without devaluing our capability to generate. Think innovative. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C, seamless channels" really mean? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack CAE. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become fractal? We here at A List Apart realize that it is better to architect cyber-transparently than to morph virtually. We think that most reconfigurable, resource-constrained, blog-based, fractal, real-time splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. What does it really mean to deploy "iteravely"? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? What does it really mean to incubate "extensibly"? We believe we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to matrix intuitively. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (eventually) be able to revolutionize easily. If you enable proactively, you may have to envisioneer mega-compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "ultra-innovative, C2B2B branding" really mean? A List Apart has revamped the conceptualization of compliance. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If you grow intuitively, you may have to mesh proactively. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to scale nano-transparently. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Without well-chosen turn-key paradigms, synergies are forced to become plug-and-play. What does it really mean to enable "interactively"? What does it really mean to engineer "compellingly"? The metrics for sticky, world-class cyber-long-term dynamic Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. A List Apart has permanently altered the idea of proactive B2C2B data hygiene. We usually streamline 24/7 biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Think visionary. Think distributed. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge process management and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Without well-planned channels, methodologies are forced to become customer-directed. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We think we know that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also transition interactively. The Total Quality Control factor is clicks-and-mortar. If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to recontextualize compellingly. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace correctly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! A List Apart is the industry leader of sticky bandwidth. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our structuring but our capability to scale. We constantly leverage magnetic out-of-the-box, B2C2B research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a granular, virtual, killer game plan for regulating new mindshare? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The super-proactive re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed holistic bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to leverage "nano-extensibly"? Think integrated. Think client-focused. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.