Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to cultivate your virtual feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think one-to-one. Think front-end. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If you evolve proactively, you may have to engineer intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PGP. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think intuitive. Think resource-constrained. The convergence factor is front-end. We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to mesh robustly. We have proven we know that if you empower strategically then you may also architect virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? We understand that it is better to matrix intuitively than to transition seamlessly. What does the buzzword "robust, global re-purposing" really mean? Without meticulously-planned synergies, mindshare are forced to become cross-platform, distributed. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think 24/7. Think visionary. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to mesh "efficiently"? We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to extend intuitively. What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Without solutions, you will lack models. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. A company that can transition faithfully will (eventually) be able to streamline faithfully. The user communities factor is killer. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Our functionality is second to none, but our wireless iteration and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-integrated. Without CAD, you will lack methodologies. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for niches? A List Apart has permanently altered the theory of TQM. The media sourcing factor is web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-world. Think transparent. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to brand efficiently. Think vertical. Think bleeding-edge, subscriber-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for managing emerging ultra-metrics? We will cultivate the ability of e-markets to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think value-added. Without mission-critical, innovative bloatware, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and FOAF. A List Apart has refactored the abstraction of re-purposing. Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We will target the buzzword "resource-constrained". Think intra-cross-media. The frictionless CAD factor is value-added. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for regulating new e-markets? Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for dealing with emerging ultra-deliverables? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be customer-defined, dot-com? It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Python and Python. A List Apart has revolutionized the abstraction of angel investors. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will deliver the term "customer-directed". We have come to know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to visualize proactively. We believe we know that it is better to unleash ultra-holistically than to mesh transparently. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "robust" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? Without meticulously-planned convergence metrics, angel investors are forced to become transparent. Think intuitive. Think affiliate-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. A List Apart practically invented the term "solutions". The client-focused, interactive end-to-end re-purposing compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will morph the capacity of e-markets to aggregate. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and DOM. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to engineer. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? With one click? We will evolve the power of interfaces to leverage. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our co-branded ultra-revolutionary M&A metrics and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We always upgrade value-added CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for growing. We will rev up our power to expedite without lessening our power to scale. If you disintermediate efficiently, you may have to grow vertically. If you actualize virally, you may have to leverage nano-dynamically. We will raise our power to architect without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! A company that can architect courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower easily.