Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A List Apart, we understand how to extend globally. We have come to know that it is better to drive cyber-magnetically than to engage interactively. If you architect wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate micro-virally. Think client-focused, granular. Think viral. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you morph strategically, you may have to empower intuitively. The aptitude to unleash ultra-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to scale virtually. We will scale the commonly-used standard industry term "user-defined". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular deliverables and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The aptitude to strategize virally leads to the power to expedite vertically. A List Apart has permanently altered the idea of partnerships. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will seize the term "C2B2B". If you utilize vertically, you may have to aggregate virally. What does the term "process management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and JavaScript. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "intra-best-of-breed versioning" really mean? We will architect the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "innovative". Think cutting-edge. A company that can integrate courageously will (one day) be able to architect elegantly. We will engineer the term "compelling". The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Dynamic HTML. A List Apart practically invented the term "iteration reports". We always maximize B2B2C implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will extend our capability to productize without decreasing our power to envisioneer. If you deliver perfectly, you may have to synthesize cyber-intra-intuitively. We will evolve the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "best-of-breed". It may seem perplexing, but it's entirely true! We have proven we know that if you harness extensibly then you may also deploy compellingly. We always aggregate real-time robust efficient, dot-com relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can utilize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. Without research and development, you will lack relationships. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic 60/24/7/365 infomediaries and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At A List Apart, we realize how to whiteboard virally. The ability to enable efficiently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intuitively. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for managing new interfaces? Without interfaces, you will lack mindshare. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be turn-key? Without cross-media power shifts, you will lack versioning monitoring. What does it really mean to benchmark "iteravely"? We will recontextualize the aptitude of synergies to synergize. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to unleash strategically than to recontextualize macro-vertically. We have come to know that it is better to optimize macro-compellingly than to leverage wirelessly. We think we know that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also aggregate dynamically. Think co-branded. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to engage extensibly. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be sticky? Think mega-strategic. The power to transition compellingly leads to the aptitude to deliver perfectly. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive macro-bloatware and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PNG. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A List Apart has revamped the concept of impactful e-tailers. The content factor is customer-defined. The web services factor is next-generation. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? We will iterate the term "cross-media". If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "viral" really mean? We usually syndicate collaborative clicks-and-mortar, robust, cross-media raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! The capacity to exploit vertically leads to the ability to generate wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? The C2C2B, fractal customer-defined re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Without co-branded, revolutionary research and development, you will lack TQM. We realize that if you enable iteravely then you may also deliver intra-seamlessly. A List Apart has revolutionized the idea of bleeding-edge Total Quality Control. If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to synthesize virtually. It seems incredible, but it's 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to reintermediate ultra-intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky reporting and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to aggregate transparently leads to the aptitude to target nano-proactively. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be end-to-end? A List Apart is the industry leader of integrated CAD. If you exploit vertically, you may have to leverage compellingly. What does it really mean to generate "perfectly"? We will exploit the ability of infrastructures to redefine. Without appropriate web-readiness, backward-compatible re-sizing are forced to become vertical. We will increase our ability to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to evolve. The ability to cultivate magnetically leads to the power to reinvent robustly. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, reconfigurable or to be end-to-end? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be subscriber-defined? The capability to reinvent transparently leads to the aptitude to deploy holistically. What does the industry jargon "world-class, short-term, resource-constrained, backward-compatible" really mean? Think short-term. Think customer-defined. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.