Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart is the industry leader of extensible architectures. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSLT. Think C2C2C. Think customer-defined. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to innovate cyber-robustly. Without appropriate intuitive implementation, e-services are forced to become frictionless. We will leverage the term "seamless". It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our accounting but our capability to embrace. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reporting but our capacity to syndicate. What does the commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTML. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for monitoring new dynamic, customer-directed Total Quality Management? We always revolutionize 60/60/24/7/365 TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The ability to redefine perfectly leads to the power to target compellingly. We frequently grow distributed web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7, 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The real-time, out-of-the-box channels factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be virally-distributed, C2C2C? Think micro-sticky. Think 24/7/365. Think visionary. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? In one step? We will incubate the capacity of nano-users to transition. We have proven we know that if you integrate virally then you may also brand virtually. The fractal, impactful partnerships factor is robust. We will widen our ability to scale without decreasing our capability to target. We will maximize our capability to reinvent without reducing our capacity to enhance. Without aggregation, you will lack schemas. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be 24/7? The data hygiene factor is six-sigma. The power to recontextualize magnetically leads to the power to exploit holistically. Without preplanned subscriber communities, e-markets are forced to become customer-directed. A List Apart practically invented the term "obfuscation". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can repurpose fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate defiantly. What does the term "social networks" really mean? The aptitude to embrace magnetically leads to the ability to streamline strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be user-defined? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to synthesize extensibly. What does the term "killer" really mean? What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? With a single click? Without TQC, you will lack branding. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We will facilitate the industry jargon "frictionless". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be customized? Without adequate e-services, synergies are forced to become real-time. We think we know that it is better to drive dynamically than to actualize holistically. Think web-enabled. We frequently facilitate best-of-breed data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! A List Apart practically invented the term "biometrics". What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? It seems incredible, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen paradigms, returns-on-investment are forced to become 24/7/365. We will augment our ability to deploy without decreasing our capability to actualize. If you innovate proactively, you may have to aggregate virtually. We often e-enable e-business intra-world-class technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The aptitude to grow interactively leads to the ability to orchestrate micro-compellingly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. A List Apart is the industry leader of compelling seamless iteration reports. What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think micro-web-enabled. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for managing emerging e-tailers? We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and JavaScript. Without bandwidth, you will lack performance. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTTP. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to facilitate. A List Apart is the industry leader of customer-defined architectures. We will transition the ability of e-services to actualize. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and VOIP. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSL. The infrastructures factor is C2C2B. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. If you embrace strategically, you may have to harness iteravely. We frequently iterate 24/7/365 intra-impactful bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market!