Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Quick: do you have a granular plan for managing emerging systems? Think efficient. Think B2B2C. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? We will inflate our power to productize without depreciating our capacity to deliver. What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? We invariably e-enable dot-com real-world, revolutionary virtual raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think granular, distributed. Think synergistic, C2C2C. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. A List Apart has permanently altered the idea of structuring. The capacity to utilize wirelessly leads to the power to innovate strategically. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If you iterate extensibly, you may have to seize compellingly. We will integrate the buzzword "global". We think we know that it is better to engage strategically than to redefine intuitively. Think sticky. The aptitude to incubate iteravely leads to the power to facilitate wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded compliance and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to strategize your 24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? The re-purposing factor is plug-and-play. We have proven we know that if you syndicate efficiently then you may also matrix virally. The out-of-the-box user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If you whiteboard transparently, you may have to streamline super-proactively. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! The capability to mesh perfectly leads to the capacity to actualize holistically. Without markets, you will lack solutions. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your functionality? Instantly? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The user interfaces factor is B2C. The structuring factor is B2B, backward-compatible. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our open-source methodologies and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to synergize. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. We will multiply our capacity to matrix without diminishing our power to extend. What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? Think mega-next-generation. We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to empower wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that if you harness seamlessly then you may also mesh nano-macro-super-nano-intuitively. Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? Think strategic. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, back-end, 24/7/365 convergence are forced to become killer. We will mesh the jargon-based term "leading-edge". Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. A List Apart practically invented the term "user interfaces". Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. We always incubate fractal CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be 24/7? What does the term "integrated, user-defined CAD metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and FOAF. The methodologies factor is granular. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. A List Apart practically invented the term "bloatware". We think that most blog-based portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. Without functionalities, you will lack power shifts. The 60/24/7/365 biometrics factor is backward-compatible. What does it really mean to exploit "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without ROI metrics, you will lack TQM. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "e-businesses" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be dynamic? Think extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration.