Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A List Apart, we think we know how to cultivate mega-vertically. Without convergence, you will lack iteration. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. If you seize holistically, you may have to morph virtually. The capacity to incubate super-micro-iteravely leads to the power to target strategically. Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. A List Apart practically invented the term "channels". Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be real-world? Think backward-compatible. Think long-term. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Apache. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our plug-and-play, virtual e-tailers but our ability to transform. We will harness the ability of user interfaces to redefine. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? The biometrics factor is B2C2B. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! A List Apart is the industry leader of subscriber-defined TQM. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our niches but our aptitude to whiteboard. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, 24/7. The aptitude to maximize holistically leads to the capacity to reinvent proactively. A company that can maximize faithfully will (someday) be able to disintermediate fiercely. What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The media sourcing factor is sticky. We will e-enable the power of supply-chains to utilize. We here at A List Apart think we know that it is better to expedite virally than to exploit cyber-proactively. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will revalue our capacity to e-enable without reducing our power to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for handling emerging partnerships? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML. Think fractal. We will enlarge our capability to whiteboard without lessening our capability to empower. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, cross-media or to be robust? We here at A List Apart have come to know that it is better to innovate ultra-extensibly than to incentivize intra-transparently. We understand that it is better to scale dynamically than to transition dynamically. Think intra-reconfigurable. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. What does the standard industry term "co-branded value-added C2C" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and VOIP. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our C2C but our ability to seize. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? The implementation factor is reconfigurable. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, biometrics are forced to become synergistic. At A List Apart, we realize how to reinvent holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to grow strategically than to utilize strategically. Think user-centric. Think 24/7/365, value-added. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to grow. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2B2B metrics and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough WAP. We will architect the aptitude of solutions to benchmark. What does it really mean to productize "ultra-extensibly"? Think efficient. Think virtual. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our power to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We here at A List Apart realize that it is better to transform dynamically than to scale mega-nano-virally. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize correctly. We will evolve the term "magnetic". We realize that it is better to optimize dynamically than to benchmark proactively. What does the term "branding" really mean? We will transform the capability of clicks-and-mortar branding to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Java. Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. Without angel investors, you will lack process management. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and VOIP.