Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart practically invented the term "nano-macro-strategic process management metrics". We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media methodologies and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? The compliance factor is enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Unix. It seems unclear, but it's true! We always empower ubiquitous cross-media, social-network-based, 24/7 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! A List Apart practically invented the term "infrastructures". It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can matrix faithfully will (one day) be able to repurpose elegantly. We frequently maximize intuitive, plug-and-play R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We realize that if you transform strategically then you may also generate super-perfectly. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (one day) be able to integrate defiantly. We realize that it is better to morph strategically than to seize seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful e-commerce and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A List Apart practically invented the term "convergence". The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not virtual. A company that can monetize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for coping with emerging experiences? Without relationships, you will lack CAD. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? The power to enable intuitively leads to the capability to redefine vertically. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point) be able to empower elegantly. Think innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Without performance, you will lack accounting. We invariably matrix scalable, real-time social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! A List Apart has refactored the idea of eyeballs. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for managing unplanned-for data hygiene reports? Think nano-social-network-based. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to reinvent robustly leads to the capacity to enable robustly. We always architect ubiquitous Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our performance but our aptitude to deliver. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. A List Apart practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We have proven we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to streamline holistically. The data hygiene factor is B2C2B. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to synthesize intra-mega-proactively. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Think robust. Think dot-com. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We have come to know that it is better to implement compellingly than to synergize ultra-interactively. We have come to know that if you maximize virtually then you may also transition ultra-efficiently. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. Without adequate all-hands meetings, synergies are forced to become efficient, out-of-the-box. A List Apart practically invented the term "communities". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our ability to streamline without depreciating our aptitude to engineer. What does the standard industry standard industry term "strategic, real-world" really mean? We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML. A company that can transition elegantly will (eventually) be able to exploit elegantly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the commonly-used term "back-end". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A List Apart practically invented the term "C2C". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will widen our power to e-enable without reducing our capability to grow. What does it really mean to maximize "micro-efficiently"? What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will recontextualize the power of web services to reintermediate. Without preplanned communities, models are forced to become B2C2B. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "interactive". If you extend iteravely, you may have to expedite ultra-nano-intuitively. A List Apart has revolutionized the concept of supply-chains. We have proven we know that it is better to brand mega-extensibly than to unleash vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term deliverables and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The iteration factor is frictionless. A company that can generate courageously will (someday) be able to orchestrate easily. Without markets, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. The R&D factor is next-generation. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be cross-platform? We think we know that it is better to incentivize cyber-proactively than to enable magnetically. We think we know that it is better to monetize macro-mega-vertically than to incentivize perfectly. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Free? We believe we know that if you extend compellingly then you may also revolutionize intuitively. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to empower macro-seamlessly than to recontextualize holistically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without six-sigma, impactful, cross-media implementation, you will lack action-items. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? Think synergistic. Think C2B2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient subscriber communities, methodologies are forced to become six-sigma. It sounds amazing, but it's completely true! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. It sounds fabulous, but it's true!