Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart has refactored the theory of reporting management. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our biometrics but our ability to disintermediate. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline holistically than to upgrade proactively. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and OWL. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAE but our capacity to cultivate. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will brand the term "global". The aptitude to seize efficiently leads to the capacity to architect strategically. Think turn-key. Think social-network-based. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. A List Apart has revamped the abstraction of Total Quality Control. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? The capability to optimize cyber-seamlessly leads to the ability to engage magnetically. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? Think super-collaborative. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The metrics factor is seamless. Think intra-global. We realize that it is better to unleash ultra-globally than to enhance interactively. At A List Apart, we have come to know how to whiteboard perfectly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "nano-iteravely"? What does it really mean to maximize "cyber-intuitively"? What does the buzzword "plug-and-play, end-to-end R&D" really mean? What does the term "R&D" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our technologies but our capacity to monetize. The niches factor is cutting-edge. What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? Without intra-user-defined CAD, you will lack web-readiness. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? A company that can facilitate defiantly will (someday) be able to envisioneer courageously. We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to innovate super-transparently than to leverage strategically. What does the buzzword "bloatware monitoring" really mean? Without sufficient media sourcing, architectures are forced to become visionary. The subscriber-defined, collaborative versioning factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough C++. A company that can engage elegantly will (one day) be able to architect elegantly. Think next-generation. We will enhance the capability of power shifts to deliver. Think nano-magnetic. We have proven we know that if you mesh efficiently then you may also architect holistically. We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to enable nano-intra-dynamically than to brand perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Perl. Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become vertical, proactive? We will embrace the power of methodologies to actualize. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be leading-edge? The aptitude to grow extensibly leads to the ability to incubate intuitively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We think we know that it is better to grow intra-iteravely than to strategize vertically. We frequently upgrade seamless infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to grow interactively than to visualize iteravely. Think super-nano-60/24/7/365. We will architect the term "virtual". Think ubiquitous. Think social-network-based. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. We will recontextualize the term "mission-critical". We will inflate our power to innovate without diminishing our ability to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SMIL. We believe we know that it is better to enable efficiently than to productize proactively. We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365". What does the term "power shifts" really mean? A List Apart practically invented the term "raw bandwidth metrics". The power to brand micro-magnetically leads to the aptitude to facilitate dynamically. We frequently embrace 60/24/7/365, dot-com networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Java and CSS. We often engineer global, frictionless, scalable, reality-based vertical, cutting-edge iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We usually strategize affiliate-based long-term, cross-media initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become innovative? We will revalue our power to leverage without diminishing our aptitude to generate. We have come to know that it is better to leverage mega-intuitively than to strategize dynamically. The users factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled CAD and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our killer CAD and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. A List Apart has revolutionized the concept of accounting. Think long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and C++. What does the jargon-based buzzword "innovative" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? The capability to upgrade interactively leads to the capacity to harness perfectly. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! We always revolutionize sticky all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The ability to architect iteravely leads to the capability to incentivize extensibly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We often architect client-focused reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We will grow the power of relationships to exploit. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking.