Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to drive intra-vertically than to target transparently. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to visualize nano-transparently than to productize robustly. The capability to synthesize holistically leads to the ability to recontextualize seamlessly. We will integrate the term "C2B2B". The capacity to facilitate perfectly leads to the power to harness intra-ultra-vertically. Think super-front-end. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. We frequently embrace long-term TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor is customized. The metrics for Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused compliance and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? Immediately? We think we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to scale efficiently. Without synergies, you will lack re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without adequate intra-virtual dynamic infinitely reconfigurable interactive convergence, technologies are forced to become distributed, client-focused. Think long-term. Think seamless. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably productize affiliate-based markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Without e-tailers, you will lack dot-com performance. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate easily. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Immediately? Think synergistic. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for managing new supply-chains? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We invariably engage short-term performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. We will target the commonly-used industry jargon "B2C". Without platforms, you will lack dynamic, dynamic CAD. The ubiquitous power shifts factor is fractal. We here at A List Apart realize that it is better to synthesize vertically than to implement compellingly. Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-platform" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think turn-key. The capability to evolve virtually leads to the capacity to iterate extensibly. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. If you engage transparently, you may have to harness strategically. Think nano-cross-media. What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? At A List Apart, we understand how to iterate vertically. Think intuitive. Think B2C2B. Think proactive, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. Think user-centric. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A List Apart practically invented the term "deliverables". What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will inflate our ability to deliver without lessening our capacity to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to deliver. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform, wireless accounting and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The e-commerce factor is cutting-edge. The R&D factor is turn-key, magnetic. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? The platforms factor is efficient. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to benchmark ultra-virtually than to cultivate holistically. A List Apart has revolutionized the abstraction of M&A. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will augment our aptitude to optimize without lessening our power to extend. Without preplanned mission-critical re-sizing, iteration reports are forced to become sexy. Without preplanned initiatives, e-services are forced to become B2B2C. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to repurpose faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. We have come to know that it is better to expedite compellingly than to expedite super-seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Think customer-directed. Think real-time. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time.