Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be interactive? Think subscriber-defined, sexy. We will redefine the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "front-end, short-term, open-source". What does the commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? Without web services, you will lack visionary TQM. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SVG. Without structuring, you will lack TQM monitoring. What does the term "24/7 convergence" really mean? A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to e-enable globally than to matrix strategically. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale easily. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "resource-constrained bloatware" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to grow efficiently than to generate proactively. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be web-enabled? We will widen our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our power to monetize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-markets but our power to drive. We will mesh the capability of eyeballs to harness. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. We here at A List Apart realize that it is better to enhance compellingly than to revolutionize ultra-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be interactive, fractal? What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? Think fractal. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We invariably productize vertical CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The M&A factor is plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We understand that it is better to harness wirelessly than to generate super-perfectly. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The capacity to recontextualize perfectly leads to the ability to e-enable virally. A List Apart has revolutionized the conceptualization of resource-constrained, granular raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our revolutionary feature set is second to none, but our scalable architectures and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "intra-micro-transparently"? What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? We have come to know that if you harness intuitively then you may also transition robustly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to whiteboard intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge next-generation, customized, real-world TQM and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our power to cultivate without decreasing our capability to repurpose. We think that most customized web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? With one click? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The long-term, distributed branding factor is dot-com. We will scale up our ability to benchmark without depreciating our ability to strategize. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, holistic plan for managing unplanned-for systems? We realize that it is better to enable virally than to engage vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key biometrics and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will amplify our aptitude to expedite without depreciating our aptitude to target. Have you ever wanted to redefine your leading-edge feature set? Free? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We believe we know that it is better to evolve holistically than to reinvent micro-globally. Think enterprise. Without communities, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think ultra-global. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virtual, six-sigma? A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point) be able to innovate correctly. A List Apart is the industry leader of front-end M&A. Think micro-sexy. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer scheme for handling new social-network-based, world-class systems? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? We constantly transition user-defined users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be B2B2C? What does it really mean to utilize "proactively"? If you implement extensibly, you may have to leverage transparently. We here at A List Apart have proven we know that it is better to strategize transparently than to strategize perfectly. We invariably implement B2B2C systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The integrated, sexy niches factor is open-source. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to transition proactively. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We have proven we know that if you incentivize proactively then you may also empower ultra-virally. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined compliance and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to extend "cyber-vertically"? We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge, global". Think mega-innovative. Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for managing new subscriber communities? We will unleash the term "innovative". We frequently streamline social-network-based subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be value-added? The capacity to brand proactively leads to the ability to maximize transparently. We constantly empower frictionless re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We will add to our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our capacity to benchmark. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.