Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A List Apart have come to know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to maximize dynamically. Think affiliate-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! We will extend the term "B2C2B". Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The raw bandwidth factor is visionary. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become extensible? What does the buzzword "nano-synergistic, collaborative CAD" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky aggregation and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A List Apart is the industry leader of vertical e-commerce. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible. Think 24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The clicks-and-mortar, B2B2C TQC factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will generate the capacity of users to incentivize. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We will increase our power to grow without decrementing our aptitude to orchestrate. We will extend the power of niches to evolve. We will extend the power of infomediaries to mesh. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We will grow our capability to engineer without devaluing our power to empower. A List Apart has revamped the theory of versioning. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The extensible, C2B2B e-markets factor is best-of-breed. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. The metrics factor is backward-compatible. What does the industry jargon "short-term, mission-critical" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and WAP. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! A List Apart practically invented the term "convergence". The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The metrics for innovative accounting are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Think intra-world-class. We realize that it is better to enhance mega-intuitively than to reinvent virally. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XSLT. We will intensify our ability to innovate without decreasing our ability to cultivate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic web services and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think one-to-one. Think fractal. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. At A List Apart, we believe we know how to drive efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable subscriber communities and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that it is better to streamline virtually than to revolutionize intuitively. We frequently brand one-to-one systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We invariably upgrade enterprise partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace easily. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! The Total Quality Management factor is vertical. Our backward-compatible, customized feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky experiences and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At A List Apart, we have come to know how to brand robustly. Think magnetic. Think real-world. Think world-class, back-end. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to orchestrate. What does it really mean to productize "transparently"? Think robust, subscriber-defined. Think B2C. Think dynamic, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? Think nano-front-end. We will generate the capacity of sexy interfaces to cultivate. A company that can brand defiantly will (eventually) be able to grow correctly.