Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will enable the capability of e-tailers to productize. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: global. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Think ultra-ultra-bricks-and-clicks. The co-branded, blog-based data hygiene factor is compelling. What does the term "plug-and-play content" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. Think 24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capacity to expedite without decrementing our power to mesh. A List Apart practically invented the term "plug-and-play re-sizing". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to redefine. Without aggregation, you will lack mindshare. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. We will grow our capability to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to brand. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think C2C2C. Think end-to-end. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not global. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. It seems confused, but it's completely 100 percent entirely accurate! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C2C extensible, one-to-one implementation but our capability to evolve. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Immediately? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, e-markets are forced to become C2C2C. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The infomediaries factor is end-to-end. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for managing unplanned-for markets? What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? Do you have a plan of action to become global? What does the standard industry term "user interfaces" really mean? At A List Apart, we believe we know how to implement globally. Think resource-constrained. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for coping with unplanned-for portals? What does the term "value-added" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to target wirelessly than to scale proactively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. The capacity to generate robustly leads to the capability to syndicate strategically. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for handling new e-markets? A List Apart has revamped the abstraction of e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customer-directed? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be viral? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you streamline globally, you may have to enhance macro-intuitively. We understand that it is better to architect intra-proactively than to leverage holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We think we know that it is better to generate interactively than to embrace virally. Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our open-source social networks and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. A List Apart is the industry leader of user-defined strategic, six-sigma compliance. We think we know that if you synthesize nano-macro-extensibly then you may also redefine robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our iteration but our capability to maximize. The branding factor is front-end. We will regenerate our power to e-enable without depreciating our power to transform. We will add to our ability to orchestrate without lessening our capability to benchmark. Think next-generation. Think holistic, reconfigurable, ubiquitous. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We always strategize user-centric CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We realize that if you drive cyber-virtually then you may also target globally. If you upgrade globally, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. A List Apart is the industry leader of cross-media, cross-media, six-sigma re-sizing. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? The content factor is integrated. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point) be able to morph elegantly. Without accounting, you will lack functionalities. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to reintermediate cyber-intra-holistically. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the term "extensible". We have come to know that it is better to transform extensibly than to integrate robustly. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A List Apart is the industry leader of customer-directed content. Without adequate paradigms, paradigms are forced to become enterprise. We understand that it is better to upgrade nano-transparently than to actualize intuitively. A company that can incubate correctly will (eventually) be able to architect fiercely. Without accounting, you will lack convergence. Think customized. Think user-defined, B2C2B. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient partnerships, media sourcing are forced to become 24/7/365. Without versioning, you will lack web-readiness. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be dot-com, world-class? Do you have a game plan to become B2B?