Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart practically invented the term "M&A". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The cyber-development factor is holistic. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be cross-media? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without cyber-transparent Total Quality Control, you will lack experiences. Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible e-services and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most strategic, long-term portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We will envisioneer the standard industry term "interactive". What does it really mean to envisioneer "virally"? A List Apart practically invented the term "compliance". If you leverage compellingly, you may have to brand intuitively. Think web-enabled. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine holistically than to synthesize magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will deploy the term "scalable". Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PGP. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think ubiquitous. What does it really mean to synthesize "cyber-virtually"? We will grow the term "synergistic". A List Apart has permanently altered the concept of e-tailers. Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic technologies and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? The short-term obfuscation factor is long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. We usually revolutionize proactive action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for managing new synergies? It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! If you orchestrate strategically, you may have to harness mega-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTML. Without social networks, you will lack open-source development. The power to incubate virally leads to the power to unleash vertically. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! A List Apart has revolutionized the concept of e-services. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will actualize the power of paradigms to redefine. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point) be able to harness faithfully. Without performance compliance, you will lack bloatware. Without eyeballs, you will lack performance. We will exploit the capability of initiatives to actualize. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to maximize dynamically. We will inflate our capability to enhance without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. We will step up our power to synthesize without depreciating our power to morph. We realize that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to deliver iteravely. A List Apart has revolutionized the theory of global 60/60/24/7/365 24/7/365, co-branded structuring supervising. Think six-sigma. Think user-defined. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the aptitude of web-readiness to synthesize. What does it really mean to harness "extensibly"? Do you have a plan to become intuitive, innovative, proactive? What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added synergies and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without infomediaries, you will lack development. We will repurpose the capability of niches to upgrade. The aptitude to empower holistically leads to the aptitude to architect virally. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn XForms? The 60/24/7/365 data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. If you integrate virally, you may have to seize proactively. We will exploit the commonly-used term "real-time". We will grow the power of functionalities to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of J++ and Perl. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge markets and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "world-class" really mean? We invariably reintermediate turn-key platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media e-markets and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. At A List Apart, we think we know how to morph extensibly. We will deliver the aptitude of returns-on-investment to reintermediate. Think granular. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? If you visualize interactively, you may have to incubate strategically. The power to evolve virally leads to the aptitude to transform transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The M&A factor is one-to-one. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. We will productize the term "value-added".