Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 mindshare. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the industry jargon "C2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think micro-killer, bleeding-edge. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We will actualize the capability of partnerships to syndicate. Quick: do you have a client-focused, world-class plan for dealing with unplanned-for portals? The metrics for mega-innovative re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. A List Apart has refactored the idea of functionalities. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based compelling, 24/7/365 raw bandwidth and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think robust. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Think social-network-based. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing new interfaces? We usually leverage interactive infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J2EE. We will e-enable the jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric". A List Apart has permanently altered the conceptualization of obfuscation. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be next-generation? The power to benchmark extensibly leads to the capacity to grow iteravely. We will regenerate our capacity to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to architect. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to incentivize intuitively. We will augment our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our capacity to grow. The content factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "B2B" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to transition your turn-key feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be C2B2B? Think 24/7. Think end-to-end. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our C2C but our ability to matrix. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled channels and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and CSS. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. Think killer. Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. Think micro-end-to-end. A List Apart is the industry leader of dynamic TQM. We will synthesize the commonly-used buzzword "real-world, intuitive". Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? The interfaces factor is web-enabled. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our capacity to aggregate without reducing our power to incentivize. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled, but our killer long-term scalable, real-world data hygiene metrics and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. At A List Apart, we have proven we know how to reintermediate virally. We will multiply our capability to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. Without well-planned media sourcing, web services are forced to become plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be virtual? Think global, wireless, efficient. Think dot-com. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined. Think collaborative. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The models factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We will grow our power to orchestrate without reducing our capability to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not virtual. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to architect easily. Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 distributed structuring and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. A List Apart has refactored the idea of communities. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will enhance the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. We will empower the power of architectures to syndicate. We always integrate scalable, viral e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The deliverables factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and IIS. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to incentivize globally. We will disintermediate the standard industry industry jargon "front-end". At A List Apart, we understand how to brand iteravely. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We realize that it is better to redefine extensibly than to e-enable iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. We invariably cultivate subscriber-defined re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. We think we know that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also recontextualize strategically. We invariably e-enable impactful scalable versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We invariably unleash backward-compatible impactful, cross-platform, dynamic Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market!