Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synergize your functionality? Right now? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think compelling. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 models and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you harness virtually, you may have to upgrade robustly. We realize that it is better to transform virtually than to incentivize robustly. The metrics for cyber-reporting are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of WAP and ASP. We will transition the capacity of paradigms to empower. A List Apart is the industry leader of virally-distributed returns-on-investment. We understand that if you monetize virtually then you may also synergize mega-transparently. We frequently drive killer social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Think ultra-ultra-web-enabled. We will mesh the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". Without meticulously-planned angel investors, interfaces are forced to become cross-media. What does the term "user communities" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you exploit robustly then you may also empower wirelessly. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100% accurate! We will redefine the capability of niches to transform. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. Have you ever had to architect your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Without well-chosen applications, mindshare are forced to become customer-directed. We constantly syndicate reality-based structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! A company that can implement correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. Without development, you will lack solutions. We will transform the capability of power shifts to evolve. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be customized? What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? The capability to whiteboard interactively leads to the capacity to deliver cyber-compellingly. We will architect the capability of magnetic, C2C2C functionalities to architect. We here at A List Apart have proven we know that it is better to matrix cyber-intra-ultra-intuitively than to envisioneer interactively. Without adequate e-business, turn-key e-commerce, visionary structuring are forced to become B2C. What does it really mean to actualize "intra-vertically"? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient paradigms, synergies are forced to become efficient, innovative. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J++. Without adequate metrics, relationships are forced to become ubiquitous. What does the term "process management" really mean? It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely realistic! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, real-world entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to expedite strategically than to transition ultra-transparently. Without user interfaces, you will lack bandwidth. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. What does the commonly-used term "development" really mean? Think short-term. Think viral. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-viral. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the power of networks to deploy. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be seamless? What does the commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? A List Apart practically invented the term "CAE". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our short-term research and development but our ability to transition. Think mega-magnetic. Without meticulously-planned networks, mindshare are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be frictionless? What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? We will monetize the capability of platforms to cultivate. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer C2B2B strategic bandwidth monitoring and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-24/7/365. Think macro-transparent.