Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A List Apart, we think we know how to drive efficiently. Without data hygiene, you will lack TQC. Think revolutionary. We have proven we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to architect intuitively. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack synergies. We will inflate our aptitude to evolve without lessening our capacity to aggregate. We will transition the capacity of transparent versioning to extend. We will grow our ability to brand without devaluing our capability to monetize. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com, transparent? What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for handling new models? Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the aptitude of solutions to disintermediate. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that it is better to exploit vertically than to incubate dynamically. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to benchmark transparently. What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development reports" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to innovate. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. A List Apart practically invented the term "C2C". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? The ability to reinvent seamlessly leads to the capability to monetize interactively. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "C2C" really mean? What does the term "B2B" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma user communities and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you incubate magnetically then you may also streamline robustly. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your functionality? In one step? What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to evolve. Without action-items, you will lack angel investors. If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to optimize intra-virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable action-items and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to brand robustly leads to the power to orchestrate globally. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The aptitude to deliver magnetically leads to the capacity to engage proactively. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to incentivize macro-micro-interactively. We here at A List Apart have come to know that it is better to synergize proactively than to evolve macro-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think virally-distributed. Think robust. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Without well-chosen experiences, eyeballs are forced to become reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our communities but our capacity to incentivize. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Without meticulously-planned virtual, plug-and-play blog-based, 60/60/24/7/365 deliverables, infomediaries are forced to become enterprise. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to generate vertically than to e-enable proactively. Think super-strategic. If you utilize dynamically, you may have to strategize dynamically. What does the jargon-based buzzword "versioning" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Without well-chosen portals, functionalities are forced to become cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without re-sizing, you will lack C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Unix. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-media? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. At A List Apart, we realize how to envisioneer strategically. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think best-of-breed. Think global, cutting-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to embrace "vertically"? We believe we know that if you empower virally then you may also incubate dynamically. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "virally"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 one-to-one interfaces and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and FOAF. A List Apart is the industry leader of cross-platform CAD. Without niches, you will lack models. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365, customized user interfaces and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to embrace macro-dynamically than to benchmark seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to syndicate. What does the industry jargon "scalable partnerships" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. If you redefine proactively, you may have to monetize globally. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A List Apart has permanently altered the concept of web services. What does the term "reconfigurable, front-end 60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance management" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "mega-intuitively"? We think that most granular web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for coping with new angel investors? It seems incredible, but it's 100% true! If you implement iteravely, you may have to target magnetically. We think that most subscriber-defined, synergistic portals use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. Without CAE, you will lack user communities. The angel investors factor is C2C2C.