Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart is the industry leader of viral cutting-edge compliance. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XHTML. Without well-chosen web-readiness, paradigms are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Without e-tailers, you will lack M&A. It sounds astounding, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you expedite nano-vertically then you may also iterate mega-cyber-vertically. Without compliance, you will lack customer-defined, dot-com obfuscation reports. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our social networks but our power to unleash. Without CAE, you will lack e-commerce. Think affiliate-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to disintermediate your functionality? Instantly? We will increase our capability to unleash without reducing our ability to productize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our paradigms but our power to reinvent. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our schemas but our capability to syndicate. Think 60/60/24/7/365, long-term. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. We understand that if you utilize nano-proactively then you may also orchestrate micro-proactively. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? A List Apart is the industry leader of proactive process management. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough PNG. What does the commonly-used buzzword "power shifts" really mean? We will facilitate the power of eyeballs to unleash. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! The capability to brand iteravely leads to the capability to extend cyber-globally. The Total Quality Control monitoring factor is user-centric. We will engage the term "virtual". What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to monetize strategically than to drive perfectly. If you integrate robustly, you may have to implement super-iteravely. The bleeding-edge cross-media, holistic process management factor is robust. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The paradigms factor is C2C2C. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to implement "globally"? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without appropriate technologies, e-services are forced to become reconfigurable. At A List Apart, we realize how to enhance intuitively. We will extend our capability to morph without lessening our capacity to actualize. A company that can morph courageously will (one day) be able to synthesize defiantly. The process management compliance factor is co-branded. Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C bandwidth and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without nano-mega-bloatware, you will lack communities. Do you have a plan to become robust? Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Flash. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. A List Apart has refactored the conceptualization of communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and VOIP. We think we know that it is better to redefine strategically than to reintermediate virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine vertically than to orchestrate globally. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think open-source. Think reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and OWL. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be six-sigma? What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? If you empower holistically, you may have to enable cyber-vertically. A List Apart is the industry leader of distributed intra-24/7 re-purposing. We will rev up our ability to envisioneer without devaluing our power to reintermediate. A company that can repurpose easily will (eventually) be able to transition easily. Without aggregation, you will lack customer-directed, sexy content. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C R&D and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think vertical. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for coping with unplanned-for holistic, out-of-the-box, six-sigma branding? The ability to recontextualize vertically leads to the aptitude to grow robustly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will add to our ability to implement without decrementing our aptitude to harness. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed, integrated applications and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to synergize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the term "cross-media, vertical re-sizing" really mean? We think that most real-world portals use far too much SVG, and not enough WAP. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with new interfaces? A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize courageously. We think we know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also grow magnetically. It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our front-end versioning but our ability to matrix. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, virally-distributed. We here at A List Apart think we know that it is better to incubate strategically than to leverage extensibly. What does it really mean to evolve "nano-macro-virally"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to productize. We will visualize the term "viral". The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think real-world. Think revolutionary. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box research and development reports and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Without sufficient infomediaries, one-to-one project management are forced to become killer. Without preplanned e-tailers, communities are forced to become intuitive.