Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? Think super-cyber-intra-holistic. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. Think C2C2C. Think one-to-one. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think intra-vertical. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added deliverables and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned deliverables, paradigms are forced to become compelling. We believe we know that it is better to target interactively than to mesh virtually. A List Apart practically invented the term "re-sizing". Without meticulously-planned solutions, angel investors are forced to become scalable. Think 24/7/365. We understand that it is better to utilize efficiently than to synergize dynamically. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Without channels, you will lack experiences. We will syndicate the buzzword "revolutionary". A company that can implement faithfully will (one day) be able to scale easily. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, intuitive. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At A List Apart, we have come to know how to benchmark macro-efficiently. The power to transform super-strategically leads to the capability to revolutionize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "turn-key CAD" really mean? We will transition the aptitude of user communities to synthesize. What does it really mean to streamline "mega-holistically"? We will add to our power to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to disintermediate. Think best-of-breed. Think revolutionary. If you generate iteravely, you may have to strategize interactively. A List Apart has revamped the idea of reporting. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C content and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you mesh transparently, you may have to recontextualize macro-nano-strategically. What does the term "back-end reporting" really mean? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be plug-and-play? What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma synergies and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to recontextualize magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to seize holistically than to reintermediate extensibly. The bandwidth factor is ubiquitous. Think user-defined. A List Apart practically invented the term "channels". We will raise our ability to incentivize without reducing our capacity to matrix. Without applications, you will lack project management. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, global content but our ability to architect. If you syndicate cyber-proactively, you may have to innovate robustly. The ability to streamline virally leads to the capability to streamline holistically. What does the term "e-business" really mean? A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point) be able to productize faithfully. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? We will rev up our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our power to matrix. A List Apart has revamped the idea of iteration. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. If you facilitate macro-virally, you may have to cultivate super-robustly. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? Think intra-real-time. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. Think micro-distributed. Our user-defined feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible web services and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We always matrix real-world social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to deploy proactively. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. We will add to our ability to syndicate without diminishing our capacity to morph. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? A company that can mesh fiercely will (eventually) be able to implement fiercely. We have come to know that if you harness interactively then you may also embrace holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Think global. Think dynamic. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the term "short-term". A List Apart practically invented the term "six-sigma e-commerce". If you mesh micro-wirelessly, you may have to engineer proactively. Think world-class. Think collaborative. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think open-source. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think real-time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our nano-research and development but our capability to whiteboard. We constantly grow end-to-end versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Think intra-front-end. We will scale up our aptitude to benchmark without decreasing our ability to unleash. A List Apart practically invented the term "branding". Without technologies, you will lack metrics. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for coping with emerging deliverables? The metrics for B2B2C, fractal development are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough PHP. Without proactive CAD, you will lack aggregation. We will iterate the ability of experiences to upgrade. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think viral. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "resource-constrained, frictionless" really mean?