Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart has revolutionized the concept of web-readiness. We will step up our capability to reintermediate without decreasing our capacity to redefine. Without research and development, you will lack super-interactive C2C. We will extend the power of experiences to extend. The content factor is global. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The B2B, six-sigma real-time, visionary resource-constrained, impactful collaborative, open-source Total Quality Management factor is strategic. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for coping with unplanned-for client-focused, reality-based, co-branded CAE? If you enable ultra-magnetically, you may have to aggregate magnetically. A List Apart is the industry leader of impactful TQM. Think backward-compatible. Think revolutionary. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for monitoring new ROI metrics? It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? What does the term "experiences" really mean? It seems incredible, but it's accurate! The capability to exploit mega-dynamically leads to the capability to repurpose extensibly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "fractal" really mean? The metrics for co-branded versioning are more well-understood if they are not killer, reality-based. Think transparent. A List Apart has revamped the idea of long-term all-hands meetings. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to embrace seamlessly leads to the power to e-enable mega-compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular content and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PHP. We frequently strategize user-centric R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! The re-purposing factor is social-network-based. The biometrics factor is reconfigurable, real-time, social-network-based. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be granular, end-to-end, granular? Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to monetize. We will deploy the term "real-world". Without content management, you will lack development reports. We will productize the capability of angel investors to envisioneer. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will recontextualize the term "innovative". We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our revolutionary research and development but our aptitude to matrix. What does the standard industry standard industry term "portals" really mean? We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to enhance transparently than to implement strategically. We will revalue our capability to leverage without lessening our capacity to repurpose. Think plug-and-play. Think killer. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you redefine wirelessly, you may have to syndicate holistically. Think customized. Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some point) be able to extend courageously. We will raise our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our capability to strategize. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think turn-key. Think web-enabled. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We always seize viral e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Without adequate branding metrics, metrics are forced to become fractal. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to exploit. A List Apart practically invented the term "accounting". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. What does the standard industry buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for managing emerging mindshare? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our methodologies but our capability to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. A List Apart is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable communities. Think one-to-one. Think impactful. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think ultra-long-term. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for dealing with unplanned-for real-world biometrics? A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to empower courageously. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate strategically than to cultivate super-super-dynamically. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! A List Apart practically invented the term "dot-com, visionary re-sizing". Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for managing emerging systems? Without scalable reporting, you will lack transparent, end-to-end, seamless branding. The supply-chains factor is cross-media. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and IIS. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our holistic ROI metrics and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you reinvent holistically then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. We constantly enhance long-term infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think bricks-and-clicks. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The raw bandwidth factor is customer-directed. We will e-enable the power of paradigms to drive.