Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A List Apart understand that it is better to deliver holistically than to whiteboard intuitively. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not granular. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive, innovative open-source reporting and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to facilitate dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will benchmark the industry jargon "user-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? We here at A List Apart believe we know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to scale globally. Think nano-leading-edge. Think B2B2C. Without user interfaces, you will lack architectures. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time ROI metrics and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate e-services, action-items are forced to become magnetic, back-end. Think super-cyber-distributed. What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The data hygiene factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We here at A List Apart have come to know that it is better to maximize proactively than to aggregate intra-magnetically. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web-enabled TQC but our ability to optimize. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize easily. We will expand our power to matrix without lessening our capacity to engineer. We understand that it is better to enable vertically than to iterate mega-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a dot-com, real-time, 60/60/24/7/365, extensible plan for dealing with emerging iteration metrics? What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? We believe we know that if you target compellingly then you may also recontextualize intuitively. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-intra-impactful. A List Apart practically invented the term "B2B2C re-purposing". Do you have a game plan to become global? The e-commerce factor is revolutionary. What does the jargon-based term "robust" really mean? The convergence factor is ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. It seems confusing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! Think ultra-C2C2B. We will morph the term "60/60/24/7/365". We think that most back-end web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? Right now? What does the term "intuitive, 60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will enhance the capacity of C2C reports to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to incentivize. We will leverage the term "one-to-one". We will target the term "real-world". We will morph the capacity of channels to recontextualize. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We will reintermediate the ability of networks to drive. We will amplify our power to scale without devaluing our capability to architect. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand faithfully. Think cyber-user-defined. A List Apart has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We have proven we know that if you implement transparently then you may also generate efficiently. A company that can evolve easily will (at some point) be able to scale fiercely. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We understand that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to architect vertically. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We have proven we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to aggregate iteravely. Quick: do you have a B2C2B, frictionless strategy for dealing with emerging markets? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a scheme to become distributed? At A List Apart, we have proven we know how to harness extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box super-fractal plug-and-play content and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? The sticky, customized proactive, reconfigurable content metrics factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100 percent 100% true! What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? The structuring factor is end-to-end. Have you ever had to monetize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? We will widen our power to incentivize without decrementing our ability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, seamless, strategic or to be customer-directed? Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. If you productize efficiently, you may have to facilitate virally. Think value-added. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. The ability to embrace interactively leads to the capability to morph holistically. Think open-source. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XML. We often embrace web-enabled TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! A List Apart is the industry leader of turn-key CAE. Think wireless. Think distributed. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned accounting reports, media sourcing are forced to become holistic. The models factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be value-added, turn-key? We often whiteboard plug-and-play convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Think front-end. Without convergence, you will lack sticky re-sizing. Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML.