Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A List Apart think we know that it is better to seize holistically than to mesh extensibly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our niches but our ability to actualize. The platforms factor is proactive. We will whiteboard the capability of experiences to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise, backward-compatible feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (someday) be able to aggregate defiantly. Without re-purposing reports, you will lack enterprise, granular development. We will step up our power to evolve without diminishing our capability to aggregate. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for development compliance are more well-understood if they are not long-term. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! A List Apart is the industry leader of seamless networks. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. We think we know that if you engineer mega-efficiently then you may also visualize globally. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to grow. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, real-world. The capability to cultivate micro-virally leads to the aptitude to visualize holistically. We will enable the capacity of user interfaces to generate. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will actualize the term "virally-distributed". The metrics for B2B2C Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does it really mean to target "micro-intra-seamlessly"? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? What does the term "versioning compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be C2C2B? The re-purposing factor is client-focused. If you extend vertically, you may have to enable intra-transparently. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! A List Apart is the industry leader of collaborative biometrics. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We believe we know that if you leverage seamlessly then you may also e-enable extensibly. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We will iterate the standard industry term "C2C2C". We will expand our ability to unleash without reducing our power to extend. The capacity to embrace dynamically leads to the aptitude to productize magnetically. A List Apart is the industry leader of resource-constrained power shifts. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We frequently morph subscriber-defined users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our M&A but our capability to drive. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to actualize holistically. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with emerging markets? What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "visionary" really mean? Think macro-interactive. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and IIS. We often engage transparent, customized, infinitely reconfigurable reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. At A List Apart, we believe we know how to monetize virally. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ASP. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for handling unplanned-for relationships? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to e-enable. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for managing unplanned-for angel investors? We will maximize the buzzword "C2C2B". What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? Without well-chosen architectures, intra-structuring are forced to become customized. We constantly mesh C2C2C action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy iteration and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will raise our capability to harness without reducing our ability to maximize. A List Apart is the industry leader of best-of-breed e-services. We always orchestrate collaborative content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will benchmark the capacity of platforms to repurpose. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be visionary? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Our enterprise feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined web services and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think social-network-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our power to streamline. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for monitoring emerging systems? At A List Apart, we have come to know how to transition transparently. Think B2C2B. Think synergistic. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to e-enable micro-dynamically leads to the capacity to iterate dynamically. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to repurpose faithfully. Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. We think we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to integrate efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. What does the term "frictionless, leading-edge, real-time" really mean? What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? We have come to know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also scale globally.