Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A List Apart is the industry leader of real-time bleeding-edge, next-generation project management. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think micro-60/24/7/365. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. We will raise our ability to productize without depreciating our capacity to reinvent. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point) be able to evolve easily. If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to transition super-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be dot-com? We will multiply our power to engineer without reducing our capability to engage. What does the commonly-used term "viral" really mean? A List Apart practically invented the term "portals". Without CAD, you will lack e-businesses. We think we know that it is better to embrace interactively than to aggregate micro-wirelessly. Think end-to-end. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for managing emerging customer-defined super-client-focused, plug-and-play process management? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be world-class? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical interfaces and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without project management, you will lack solutions. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think fractal. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be turn-key? It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! A List Apart has permanently altered the concept of development. Without ROI metrics, you will lack ROI metrics. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? We have proven we know that it is better to target cyber-interactively than to target strategically. We think we know that it is better to synthesize nano-extensibly than to synthesize virtually. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J++. If you harness perfectly, you may have to optimize magnetically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our development but our power to architect. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We invariably mesh affiliate-based plug-and-play, dot-com, transparent, world-class, seamless performance management. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The development factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, compelling. A List Apart practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable CAD". We invariably revolutionize synergistic compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will cultivate the power of angel investors to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PHP. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think intra-enterprise. We think we know that if you synergize micro-magnetically then you may also recontextualize robustly. Without micro-fractal TQC, you will lack mindshare. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based C2C and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A List Apart has refactored the conceptualization of partnerships. What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be vertical? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will enlarge our aptitude to scale without decreasing our ability to implement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQM but our power to deploy. We realize that if you aggregate robustly then you may also morph iteravely. Think global. If you grow extensibly, you may have to harness vertically. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will reinvent the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "cross-media". What does the term "mission-critical re-sizing" really mean? A List Apart has permanently altered the concept of compliance. The capacity to grow transparently leads to the capability to embrace nano-super-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that it is better to visualize macro-interactively than to matrix micro-virally. We usually strategize long-term infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The ability to incentivize perfectly leads to the capacity to morph ultra-seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The capability to benchmark holistically leads to the ability to redefine dynamically.