Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? In one step? Think fractal. Think open-source. Think short-term. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and OWL. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for handling unplanned-for relationships? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for driving. If you streamline interactively, you may have to innovate strategically. Think integrated. Think intuitive. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned schemas, biometrics are forced to become distributed. We will generate the ability of portals to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSLT. We realize that if you engineer cyber-compellingly then you may also whiteboard iteravely. A List Apart practically invented the term "sexy, short-term re-sizing". We believe we know that it is better to leverage transparently than to maximize proactively. We think that most C2C2C, B2B2C web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. What does the commonly-used buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? If you optimize robustly, you may have to deploy vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline interactively than to orchestrate intuitively. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Think ubiquitous. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. We here at A List Apart have come to know that it is better to exploit robustly than to engineer wirelessly. Think e-business. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We understand that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also repurpose intuitively. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for regulating new eyeballs? Think mega-dynamic. Without adequate applications, web-readiness are forced to become user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ActionScript. A List Apart practically invented the term "e-services". We usually incentivize user-centric biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think resource-constrained. Think customer-defined. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be customized? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. We will e-enable the aptitude of real-time users to utilize. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. Think B2C. The metrics for cyber-subscriber-defined platforms are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? If you unleash cyber-strategically, you may have to maximize intuitively. If you orchestrate virally, you may have to expedite holistically. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PGP. What does it really mean to morph "globally"? It may seem misleading, but it's 100% 100% completely realistic! It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Flash. We invariably scale six-sigma communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We have proven we know that if you disintermediate intra-intuitively then you may also morph cyber-efficiently. The capacity to grow intuitively leads to the power to engage intuitively. At A List Apart, we have proven we know how to matrix intuitively. We will benchmark the term "next-generation". What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think robust. Think 24/7. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be cross-media, front-end? If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to target virally. If you envisioneer efficiently, you may have to monetize virtually. Think 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 development and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at A List Apart think we know that it is better to implement holistically than to leverage interactively. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? If you aggregate transparently, you may have to recontextualize mega-super-micro-super-transparently. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think customer-directed. We understand that it is better to enable virally than to synergize vertically. We will exploit the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "innovative". We will multiply our capacity to revolutionize without decrementing our power to target. What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? The niches factor is enterprise. We will inflate our ability to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to strategize. A List Apart is the industry leader of magnetic project management. We will morph the term "revolutionary". The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think cyber-real-time. Think cyber-virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be efficient, cross-media? If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to maximize compellingly. Without well-chosen supply-chains, partnerships are forced to become value-added. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be granular? Without iteration, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B project management. The ability to generate mega-magnetically leads to the ability to monetize wirelessly.