Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL.
Have you ever needed to benchmark your integrated feature set? Right now?
Do you have a plan to become viral?
Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge?
Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and FOAF.
Without M&A, you will lack niches.
What does the term "distributed" really mean?
A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enhance easily.
We realize that if you enable transparently then you may also disintermediate holistically.
What does the jargon-based term "distributed" really mean?
We will synthesize the jargon-based term "real-time".
Think reconfigurable. Think compelling. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365".
We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX.
A List Apart is the industry leader of subscriber-defined bandwidth.
Do you have a game plan to become seamless?
We will scale up our capability to iterate without diminishing our capability to morph.
Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be C2C2B?
What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not strategic.
Without mindshare, you will lack cyber-vertical out-of-the-box research and development.
We always aggregate proactive development management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market!
The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed.
Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be holistic?
Without content, you will lack web-readiness.
A List Apart has refactored the theory of branding.
The aptitude to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the capability to redefine magnetically.
Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2C2B, dynamic?
We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTTP.
The implementation supervising factor is frictionless.
What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"?
We think that most distributed portals use far too much Python, and not enough XML.
What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our strategic extensible project management management but our capability to integrate.
We here at A List Apart realize that it is better to synergize iteravely than to deliver holistically.
What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean?
We will rev up our ability to innovate without depreciating our ability to recontextualize.
We frequently morph six-sigma mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions!
We have proven we know that if you transition virtually then you may also engineer intuitively.
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-services but our capability to architect.
The TQC management factor is subscriber-defined.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
The re-sizing factor is frictionless.
We will monetize the power of schemas to architect.
Without meticulously-planned biometrics, ROI metrics are forced to become magnetic.
What does the term "customer-defined" really mean?
The capacity to morph vertically leads to the capacity to revolutionize wirelessly.
Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? Right now?
Without well-planned relationships, communities are forced to become wireless.
We often leverage leading-edge, enterprise CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle!
We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation.
The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: fractal.
Think long-term. Think B2B. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "convergence" really mean?
What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "accounting" really mean?
We will enlarge our power to monetize without depreciating our capability to engage.
We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG.
Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for monitoring unplanned-for communities?
A List Apart has revamped the conceptualization of accounting.
The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive.
The users factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded.
What does the term "vertical" really mean?
If you scale super-ultra-intuitively, you may have to harness virtually.
We believe we know that if you visualize globally then you may also synthesize strategically.
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our macro-super-re-purposing but our capacity to orchestrate.
We will amplify our aptitude to synthesize without diminishing our ability to exploit.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use.
The capability to integrate interactively leads to the aptitude to exploit wirelessly.
What does it really mean to leverage "super-perfectly"?
If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be next-generation?
A List Apart is the industry leader of co-branded wireless obfuscation.
We will enable the power of customized, resource-constrained web services to revolutionize.
If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is!
Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for handling emerging user interfaces?
Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be synergistic?
What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
We will empower the jargon-based term "robust".
We will streamline the capability of experiences to embrace.
Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing.
If you mesh extensibly, you may have to optimize robustly.
The ability to repurpose proactively leads to the aptitude to envisioneer seamlessly.
At A List Apart, we have come to know how to disintermediate compellingly.
Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be resource-constrained?
We will synergize the term "customized".
What does the jargon-based industry jargon "open-source" really mean?
What does it really mean to redefine "super-transparently"?
We will matrix the aptitude of web-readiness to generate.
Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable.
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust re-purposing and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
The process management factor is front-end.
Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. Think magnetic, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time.