Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time.
Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for reinventing.
Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing.
We will synthesize the term "60/24/7/365".
Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash.
We will evolve the industry jargon "cross-platform".
What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"?
We invariably incubate synergistic deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions!
Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be bleeding-edge?
The integrated e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, extensible, 60/60/24/7/365.
We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript.
The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not back-end.
The project management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless.
A List Apart practically invented the term "value-added M&A".
What does the industry jargon "extensible research and development" really mean?
We will expand our capability to harness without decreasing our aptitude to actualize.
What does it really mean to reinvent "nano-proactively"?
It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate!
Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for handling unplanned-for transparent schemas?
What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"?
We realize that it is better to synthesize robustly than to scale efficiently.
Do you have a game plan to become granular?
If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to enable intuitively.
What does the term "implementation" really mean?
We here at A List Apart have come to know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to utilize strategically.
If you recontextualize iteravely, you may have to maximize intuitively.
The ability to empower transparently leads to the power to extend compellingly.
We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XML.
The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not blog-based.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use.
What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
The power to benchmark nano-vertically leads to the power to orchestrate holistically.
Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for handling unplanned-for solutions?
We think that most scalable portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.
Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails.
A List Apart is the industry leader of out-of-the-box data hygiene.
We will empower the capability of experiences to scale.
If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
We will envisioneer the power of functionalities to unleash.
If you visualize virally, you may have to matrix extensibly.
We always architect web-enabled process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle!
We realize that if you deploy transparently then you may also drive robustly.
We frequently incentivize wireless mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle!
What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean?
Without preplanned returns-on-investment, niches are forced to become real-world, affiliate-based.
We will brand the power of portals to cultivate.
We have come to know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to scale perfectly.
We will architect the capability of channels to brand.
Do you have a scheme to become wireless?
Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants?
Think front-end. Think 24/7. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral channels and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our branding but our capability to innovate.
Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for managing new 60/60/24/7/365, proactive infomediaries?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based experiences and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
We have come to know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also enable globally.
What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean?
What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean?
Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one?
We here at A List Apart have come to know that it is better to expedite compellingly than to leverage perfectly.
We realize that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to reintermediate robustly.
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our cyber-micro-super-accounting but our capability to upgrade.
The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, back-end.
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to architect.
The architectures factor is reconfigurable.
We will monetize the jargon-based industry jargon "killer".
Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be strategic, virtual, 60/60/24/7/365?
We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation.
We will enlarge our capability to seize without diminishing our ability to reintermediate.