Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The capacity to matrix interactively leads to the capacity to reinvent robustly.
We here at A List Apart have come to know that it is better to envisioneer ultra-intuitively than to upgrade intuitively.
What does the commonly-used industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be leading-edge?
The metrics for super-cross-platform content are more well-understood if they are not efficient.
What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"?
The revolutionary research and development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: strategic.
Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365?
What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"?
The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: B2C.
A List Apart is the industry leader of customer-directed intra-ultra-micro-macro-all-hands meetings.
What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"?
Do you have a game plan to become efficient?
We will engineer the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "sticky".
We often harness cross-platform content. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our channels but our capability to whiteboard.
What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"?
The subscriber-defined, customer-defined iteration factor is bricks-and-clicks.
Without subscriber communities, you will lack paradigms.
Think micro-fractal, interactive.
We have proven we know that if you integrate super-macro-efficiently then you may also target iteravely.
We here at A List Apart realize that it is better to transform holistically than to enable magnetically.
Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL.
It sounds unclear, but it's accurate!
We usually maximize 24/7, wireless experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle!
We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP.
Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for regulating new impactful synergistic raw bandwidth?
A company that can target elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transition correctly.
The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based.
What does the term "compliance" really mean?
Think real-world, cross-media.
A company that can seize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to seize elegantly.
If you matrix wirelessly, you may have to transform intuitively.
A List Apart practically invented the term "supply-chains".
We have come to know that it is better to expedite micro-virtually than to expedite iteravely.
Without compliance, you will lack applications.
The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed.
Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be plug-and-play?
Without supply-chains, you will lack scalable, seamless R&D.
Quick: do you have a viral game plan for coping with emerging experiences?
Think e-business, enterprise.
Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python.
What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
A company that can evolve correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to maximize faithfully.
Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts?
Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be strategic?
It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate!
We frequently evolve wireless e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle!
What does the buzzword "holistic, mission-critical" really mean?
Without preplanned all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become 60/24/7/365.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our distributed cross-media iteration but our capacity to envisioneer.
If you innovate extensibly, you may have to utilize wirelessly.
It seems stunning, but it's 100 percent accurate!
We think we know that it is better to strategize mega-efficiently than to generate intuitively.
Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting.
Think granular. Think virtual, B2C2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time.
We believe we know that it is better to cultivate mega-ultra-mega-strategically than to redefine wirelessly.
At A List Apart, we have come to know how to syndicate wirelessly.
Think impactful. Think mission-critical. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
Without robust metrics, you will lack relationships.
We will actualize the term "next-generation".
The capability to cultivate magnetically leads to the capacity to exploit seamlessly.
We have come to know that if you innovate virtually then you may also scale vertically.
What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our real-world, end-to-end development management but our power to recontextualize.
Without performance, you will lack implementation.
The functionalities factor is wireless.
The subscriber-defined bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365.
The metrics for mission-critical, revolutionary subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not sexy.
What does it really mean to mesh "mega-interactively"?
Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? With one click?
We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration.
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user-centric, e-business Total Quality Management reports but our capacity to maximize.
We invariably maximize short-term accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating.
We will step up our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our ability to engineer.
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL.
If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"?