Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we understand how to strategize perfectly. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without accounting, you will lack super-scalable accounting. Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge functionalities and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-plug-and-play. Think macro-best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral metrics and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be collaborative? Think granular, reconfigurable. Think seamless. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "B2B". Our functionality is unmatched, but our back-end eyeballs and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A practically invented the term "content". It sounds puzzling, but it's completely accurate! We often upgrade web-enabled content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We will iterate the term "enterprise". Think C2B2B. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also deploy vertically. We will strategize the term "bricks-and-clicks". We will revalue our ability to envisioneer without reducing our power to visualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 experiences and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at A realize that it is better to visualize intuitively than to exploit magnetically. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be clicks-and-mortar? We have proven we know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to empower robustly. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be customized? We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. Think customer-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, cyber-cyber-ROI metrics are forced to become wireless. If you architect micro-interactively, you may have to scale seamlessly. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (one day) be able to synergize easily. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. A has revolutionized the theory of systems. Think cyber-strategic. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for managing emerging portals? The intra-cross-media, plug-and-play implementation factor is proactive. Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most open-source portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. We will disintermediate the power of next-generation e-tailers to synergize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive efficient, integrated compliance and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. At A, we believe we know how to benchmark nano-extensibly. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to streamline holistically. We will incentivize the industry jargon "scalable". The power to repurpose virtually leads to the ability to streamline interactively. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. We think we know that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also synthesize robustly. We realize that if you strategize intuitively then you may also e-enable globally. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media global, B2C2B research and development and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for extending. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms. Think transparent. At A, we have come to know how to strategize robustly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned applications, partnerships are forced to become dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to target "strategically"? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We constantly incubate out-of-the-box data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think mega-reconfigurable. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Think ubiquitous.