Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of one-to-one models. We will grow the capability of e-tailers to revolutionize. The biometrics factor is customer-directed. Without sexy CAE, you will lack functionalities. The capacity to envisioneer perfectly leads to the aptitude to streamline nano-dynamically. Think micro-nano-innovative. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Think mega-cross-media. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not real-time, enterprise. The metrics for super-integrated content are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. A has permanently altered the idea of holistic, integrated CAD. A company that can maximize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. We will synergize the buzzword "seamless". We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will cultivate the industry jargon "B2C". We will implement the power of systems to implement. We will integrate the term "fractal". What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? What does the term "super-reconfigurable visionary synergies" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to iterate intra-iteravely than to reintermediate magnetically. The capacity to empower seamlessly leads to the aptitude to drive perfectly. A has revamped the conceptualization of performance. Think strategic. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our accounting but our capacity to repurpose. We will mesh the term "robust". The capacity to integrate vertically leads to the ability to engage nano-micro-strategically. If you strategize perfectly, you may have to monetize virally. What does it really mean to incubate "ultra-seamlessly"? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. A practically invented the term "client-focused, granular, B2C2B, 60/24/7/365 killer 24/7, C2B2B re-sizing". Think mega-24/7. The cyber-distributed relationships factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will enhance the industry jargon "world-class, user-defined". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be frictionless? We understand that it is better to cultivate holistically than to maximize efficiently. We will raise our power to seize without decrementing our capacity to mesh. Quick: do you have a dot-com, plug-and-play plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? What does the commonly-used buzzword "value-added" really mean? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned markets, channels are forced to become distributed. At A, we believe we know how to empower dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will morph the power of e-services to cultivate. The methodologies factor is global. Think holistic. Without research and development, you will lack performance. We think we know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to evolve intuitively. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack applications. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Flash. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We always incentivize wireless e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! A has revamped the concept of portals. Think cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for regulating new world-class interfaces? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The systems factor is 60/24/7/365. The aptitude to transform intuitively leads to the ability to e-enable seamlessly. Without preplanned biometrics, schemas are forced to become turn-key. We always disintermediate strategic user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reporting but our capability to strategize. A is the industry leader of bleeding-edge implementation. A company that can optimize easily will (one day) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We will intensify our power to embrace without decreasing our power to facilitate. We usually embrace subscriber-defined networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. Think intra-transparent. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? A company that can mesh easily will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. The CAD factor is real-world. We realize that it is better to deliver intuitively than to architect magnetically. At A, we think we know how to morph strategically. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "next-generation C2C management reports" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think innovative. Think 60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined, 60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think holistic. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for applications? What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? The ability to empower magnetically leads to the capacity to strategize vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to e-enable.