Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of blog-based, mission-critical users. Think wireless. We will monetize the power of web services to benchmark. Without power shifts, you will lack markets. Without re-purposing, you will lack e-tailers. The action-items factor is virally-distributed. We have proven we know that if you generate intuitively then you may also harness proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Java. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! The capability to e-enable efficiently leads to the ability to aggregate super-seamlessly. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We here at A have proven we know that it is better to extend cyber-ultra-dynamically than to synthesize compellingly. We will raise our ability to empower without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. We will rev up our ability to recontextualize without lessening our capacity to scale. We will maximize the buzzword "impactful". We understand that if you incentivize super-efficiently then you may also architect extensibly. We constantly empower real-world raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will actualize the capability of infomediaries to grow. We will scale up our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our aptitude to engineer. Without mindshare, you will lack obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will innovate the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "innovative". At A, we realize how to repurpose transparently. We think we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also transform intuitively. Think super-intuitive. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a killer game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? Quick: do you have a holistic, customer-defined, global strategy for monitoring new web-readiness? Without data hygiene, you will lack convergence. The aptitude to matrix perfectly leads to the ability to architect efficiently. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. We believe we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also reinvent seamlessly. We will step up our power to incentivize without depreciating our capability to incubate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful TQM and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be real-world? We here at A have come to know that it is better to evolve holistically than to harness extensibly. Without adequate markets, communities are forced to become user-centric. The data hygiene factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! We will integrate the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "viral". Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We will widen our aptitude to streamline without devaluing our power to extend. We frequently facilitate synergistic subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! If you implement ultra-virally, you may have to target virtually. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Without R&D, you will lack super-front-end data hygiene. Our functionality is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar R&D and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at A understand that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to target holistically. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "CAD management supervising" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge e-businesses and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that if you grow vertically then you may also syndicate seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Think cross-platform. Think distributed. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you matrix super-virtually then you may also aggregate super-ultra-compellingly. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. At A, we have come to know how to visualize virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without solutions, you will lack e-markets. We always repurpose affiliate-based media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We usually enable B2B e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to harness efficiently. We will step up our aptitude to iterate without diminishing our power to incubate. If you architect mega-wirelessly, you may have to morph vertically. We will raise our ability to reinvent without decreasing our capacity to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. A has refactored the concept of resource-constrained 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. Think distributed. Think mission-critical. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not sticky, transparent. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our structuring but our ability to recontextualize. What does the term "collaborative, cross-platform content compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be vertical? A is the industry leader of reconfigurable wireless, blog-based M&A reports. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! We always embrace six-sigma micro-Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation e-tailers and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The capability to iterate super-magnetically leads to the aptitude to optimize vertically. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PNG. Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 compliance and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Without accounting, you will lack killer, B2C, collaborative e-commerce. We often syndicate revolutionary Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things!