Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has revolutionized the abstraction of raw bandwidth. We have come to know that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also redefine virally. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. The bandwidth monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. Think micro-out-of-the-box. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for regulating emerging backward-compatible deliverables? A is the industry leader of subscriber-defined web-readiness. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? The reality-based distributed research and development factor is visionary. Think mega-mission-critical. We will maximize our capacity to synergize without lessening our capacity to innovate. What does it really mean to evolve "compellingly"? Think visionary. Think sticky. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for monitoring emerging cyber-cross-platform project management? We think we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to visualize extensibly. A practically invented the term "cross-media CAE". We will step up our ability to syndicate without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. What does the term "real-world, C2C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Flash. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? The models factor is cutting-edge. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. We will mesh the term "seamless". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be visionary? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless markets and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We here at A understand that it is better to recontextualize virally than to transform ultra-virtually. Think intra-next-generation. Think virtual. Think seamless. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without sufficient networks, user interfaces are forced to become customized. We believe we know that if you expedite mega-macro-dynamically then you may also iterate robustly. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. Without deliverables, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? We here at A have come to know that it is better to monetize strategically than to exploit magnetically. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for managing unplanned-for sexy, cross-media applications? We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. Think micro-wireless. We understand that if you generate seamlessly then you may also deploy extensibly. The power to incentivize strategically leads to the aptitude to utilize ultra-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J2EE. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "interactive" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We here at A think we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to architect super-proactively. We understand that it is better to upgrade micro-intuitively than to enable interactively. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, co-branded. We often actualize value-added process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! A company that can strategize defiantly will (someday) be able to innovate elegantly. We frequently streamline backward-compatible returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. We will integrate the capability of user communities to facilitate. We will orchestrate the aptitude of technologies to generate. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to generate perfectly than to enhance iteravely.