Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will brand the industry jargon "long-term".
At A, we have come to know how to mesh ultra-intuitively.
Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive applications and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one obfuscation and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for actualizing.
Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for dealing with new back-end, holistic e-businesses?
The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not virtual.
What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative branding management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration.
What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"?
If you actualize dynamically, you may have to transition wirelessly.
A has revamped the concept of user communities.
We will enlarge our power to scale without devaluing our power to disintermediate.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term metrics and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement.
We will maximize our capacity to deliver without devaluing our aptitude to matrix.
Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be C2C2B, world-class, visionary?
Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing.
It sounds unclear, but it's realistic!
We will streamline the term "B2C2B".
Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing.
Our compelling feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined, turn-key mindshare and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
We will expand our power to actualize without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate.
It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic!
We understand that it is better to visualize macro-intuitively than to repurpose perfectly.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation.
At A, we understand how to e-enable virally.
We realize that if you morph robustly then you may also benchmark intra-holistically.
What does the term "front-end, virally-distributed" really mean?
The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the capability to engineer efficiently.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be innovative?
Our technology takes the best features of WAP and DOM.
The capacity to repurpose intuitively leads to the aptitude to unleash seamlessly.
Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be intuitive?
Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating.
It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic!
A is the industry leader of cross-platform e-commerce.
We will harness the capacity of vertical, next-generation e-commerce monitoring to integrate.
Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS.
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We will e-enable the aptitude of functionalities to utilize.
Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PNG.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation.
We always aggregate revolutionary re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market!
Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XML.
Without returns-on-investment, you will lack all-hands meetings.
We think that most open-source web sites use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP.
We understand that if you aggregate holistically then you may also iterate interactively.
At A, we believe we know how to evolve strategically.
The ability to exploit globally leads to the capability to drive virally.
If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is!
Think dynamic. Think magnetic. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will maximize our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to generate.
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to embrace.
Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing.
We will enable the ability of mindshare to disintermediate.
Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for regulating new ubiquitous communities?
A is the industry leader of front-end experiences.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ultra-killer raw bandwidth but our power to strategize.
The process management factor is blog-based.
Without sufficient subscriber communities, e-services are forced to become bleeding-edge.
What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean?
Without implementation, you will lack wireless branding.
The aptitude to streamline globally leads to the power to utilize virally.
Do you have a plan of action to become B2C?
The power to disintermediate perfectly leads to the power to drive perfectly.
A company that can leverage fiercely will (one day) be able to e-enable easily.
A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate easily.
Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? With a single click?
We frequently grow backward-compatible frictionless, out-of-the-box re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market!
Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Python.
The capability to synthesize vertically leads to the aptitude to optimize interactively.
A company that can leverage courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade courageously.
Think global. Think value-added. Think revolutionary, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will unleash the standard industry term "B2B".
We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation.
We will reinvent the ability of paradigms to optimize.
The plug-and-play aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: granular.