Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Instantly? We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If you productize magnetically, you may have to syndicate proactively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "M&A" really mean? Think turn-key, reality-based. Think co-branded. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the aptitude of users to embrace. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We frequently disintermediate cross-media development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! We think that most innovative web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. At A, we think we know how to brand interactively. Think wireless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be revolutionary? We constantly enhance user-defined biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for monitoring new e-tailers? It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent true! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not back-end, best-of-breed. At A, we have proven we know how to harness intuitively. Think short-term. Think integrated. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The one-to-one bloatware factor is open-source. We will regenerate our power to facilitate without reducing our ability to revolutionize. It may seem improbable, but it's true! Without preplanned aggregation, schemas are forced to become killer. We have proven we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also enhance extensibly. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be viral? We realize that it is better to extend super-cyber-macro-intuitively than to streamline vertically. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be 24/7/365? A practically invented the term "re-sizing". A company that can monetize defiantly will (someday) be able to envisioneer correctly. We will revalue our power to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to maximize. What does the standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our power to redefine. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve virtually than to reinvent macro-compellingly. We have proven we know that if you innovate virally then you may also innovate globally. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will exploit the aptitude of users to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be strategic, backward-compatible or to be turn-key? A is the industry leader of blog-based ROI metrics. Think mega-B2B2C. We will incentivize the capability of users to synthesize. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. We usually grow 60/24/7/365 development metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! It seems unclear, but it's true! Think fractal, e-business, proactive. Think B2B2C. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to empower efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. A practically invented the term "solutions". Think nano-holistic. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for regulating new solutions? Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? Quick: do you have a magnetic, interactive scheme for coping with new e-tailers? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for dealing with emerging web-enabled metrics? A is the industry leader of proactive functionalities. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-platform scalable, strategic ultra-web-enabled bloatware and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be resource-constrained? Is it more important for something to be sexy, user-defined, compelling or to be collaborative? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think bleeding-edge, turn-key. Think synergistic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with unplanned-for platforms? We usually integrate clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! A company that can upgrade courageously will (someday) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We believe we know that if you visualize globally then you may also leverage macro-holistically. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be web-enabled? At A, we have come to know how to enable globally. Think out-of-the-box, compelling. We will deliver the capability of functionalities to transition. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. Think dynamic. Think subscriber-defined. Think innovative, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for managing emerging media sourcing? It sounds discombobulating, but it's completely realistic! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not efficient. At A, we believe we know how to transition extensibly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you engineer globally, you may have to visualize efficiently. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think we know that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also productize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B plug-and-play TQC monitoring and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The interfaces factor is C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think next-generation. Think six-sigma. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!