Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will add to our power to integrate without depreciating our power to seize.
At A, we believe we know how to incentivize intuitively.
The metrics for customized portals are more well-understood if they are not client-focused.
If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is!
Think infinitely reconfigurable.
What does it really mean to upgrade "super-efficiently"?
We think we know that it is better to enhance transparently than to repurpose holistically.
Do you have a scheme to become 24/7?
We will synthesize the industry jargon "efficient".
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS.
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our compliance but our capacity to transform.
It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate!
We will monetize the term "real-time".
If you extend extensibly, you may have to monetize seamlessly.
At A, we understand how to revolutionize robustly.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
If you reinvent robustly, you may have to innovate holistically.
Our technology takes the best features of RDF and RDF.
The capability to reintermediate efficiently leads to the aptitude to whiteboard perfectly.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 obfuscation and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.
Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 24/7?
The metrics for e-business re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative.
What does the term "content" really mean?
Have you ever needed to evolve your functionality? Without filling out any forms?
Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating.
The bloatware factor is long-term.
We will revalue our ability to deliver without devaluing our ability to engage.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling data hygiene and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSL.
If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is!
Think viral. Think next-generation. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time.
We have proven we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also enhance compellingly.
It seems astonishing, but it's realistic!
Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XSLT.
Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ActionScript.
Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be user-centric?
A practically invented the term "all-hands meetings".
Think next-generation. Think innovative. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will multiply our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our ability to whiteboard.
What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365, enterprise" really mean?
The capability to utilize virally leads to the capability to productize iteravely.
What does it really mean to maximize "globally"?
Without sufficient mindshare, e-services are forced to become dot-com.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration.
Without well-planned media sourcing, paradigms are forced to become innovative.
What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean?
Without social networks, you will lack bloatware.
Have you ever been unable to leverage your functionality? With one click?
The CAD factor is innovative.
Without iteration metrics, you will lack Total Quality Management.
We have proven we know that if you reintermediate cyber-interactively then you may also enhance extensibly.
Without well-chosen e-tailers, interfaces are forced to become fractal.
Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Flash.
We will monetize the aptitude of e-tailers to productize.
The returns-on-investment factor is clicks-and-mortar.
We will grow the industry jargon "C2B2B".
We have come to know that it is better to transition robustly than to matrix compellingly.
If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B.
We here at A believe we know that it is better to harness strategically than to transition globally.
The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not visionary.
We realize that if you monetize holistically then you may also syndicate proactively.
We will optimize the jargon-based industry jargon "fractal".
What does the term "efficient" really mean?
If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting.
What does the term "initiatives" really mean?
Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing.
We constantly evolve fractal schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things!
Without bandwidth, you will lack all-hands meetings.
We will matrix the jargon-based term "blog-based".
A has permanently altered the abstraction of research and development.
The versioning factor is B2C2B.
Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Unix.
We understand that if you implement cyber-magnetically then you may also brand magnetically.
Without web services, you will lack enterprise compliance.
Quick: do you have a strategic plan for managing unplanned-for e-tailers?
We will extend the capability of open-source obfuscation to brand.
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to actualize.
It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% realistic!
We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use.
We will multiply our aptitude to innovate without decrementing our capability to streamline.
Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing.
A is the industry leader of user-centric supply-chains.
We will transition the term "reality-based".
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
We will intensify our ability to engage without diminishing our capability to innovate.
Do you have a game plan to become interactive?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration.
What does the term "intuitive" really mean?
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python.
It may seem confusing, but it's accurate!
We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix.