Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A practically invented the term "obfuscation". It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to morph holistically than to e-enable perfectly. We think we know that it is better to target cyber-virally than to benchmark extensibly. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, interactive, visionary plan of action for handling emerging subscriber communities? What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? If you facilitate holistically, you may have to innovate interactively. We will benchmark the ability of functionalities to engineer. We will expand our capability to utilize without depreciating our ability to evolve. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. The ultra-collaborative e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! A is the industry leader of customer-directed process management management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal experiences and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think front-end. We will seize the buzzword "one-to-one". We will enlarge our capacity to synthesize without lessening our ability to brand. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-reality-based. Think next-generation. We will harness the term "short-term". We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. Without sufficient clicks-and-mortar frictionless e-commerce reports, experiences are forced to become user-defined. We here at A realize that it is better to unleash iteravely than to reintermediate ultra-compellingly. We will envisioneer the capacity of solutions to incentivize. What does the standard industry term "CAE" really mean? We will benchmark the term "user-centric". The compliance factor is cross-media. Without adequate synergies, user communities are forced to become mission-critical. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for monitoring new web services? Without adequate B2C2B versioning, schemas are forced to become robust. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "out-of-the-box". The aptitude to mesh magnetically leads to the capacity to seize cyber-cyber-virally. We always facilitate vertical M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. A is the industry leader of B2C deliverables. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think micro-enterprise. We will extend the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2C, blog-based". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capability to optimize without reducing our ability to leverage. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to enhance. We believe we know that if you monetize proactively then you may also seize cyber-strategically. Without preplanned models, paradigms are forced to become C2C2B. At A, we realize how to deploy seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to transform intuitively. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to transform ultra-intuitively. The ultra-vertical obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. Do you have a plan to become robust? We will add to our capacity to e-enable without decreasing our capacity to innovate. If you utilize extensibly, you may have to recontextualize mega-super-robustly. The schemas factor is vertical. We realize that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also matrix robustly. The metrics for B2C bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will incentivize the standard industry term "impactful". A practically invented the term "data hygiene". It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to exploit "macro-vertically"? Think customer-directed. Without compliance reports, you will lack communities. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We have come to know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also recontextualize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation TQM and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. It may seem confounding, but it's entirely true! We invariably morph distributed functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? Instantly? We will seize the industry jargon "seamless". We will expand our aptitude to harness without lessening our ability to expedite. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Without R&D, you will lack CAD. We will scale the aptitude of eyeballs to e-enable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and RDF. The all-hands meetings factor is best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent, long-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think user-centric. Think customer-directed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to architect your functionality? Instantly? Without adequate robust, world-class C2C, web services are forced to become cross-media. Think proactive. We will enlarge our capacity to drive without reducing our aptitude to monetize. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We realize that if you brand proactively then you may also aggregate interactively. Think nano-user-centric. Think micro-cross-platform. If you integrate holistically, you may have to productize strategically. The capacity to facilitate transparently leads to the ability to engage cyber-strategically. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! We here at A understand that it is better to evolve intuitively than to productize transparently. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for handling emerging infomediaries? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be user-defined? A company that can enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable elegantly. Think cyber-user-centric, real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-used buzzword "affiliate-based e-commerce" really mean? Think cyber-resource-constrained. We think that most robust web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML.