Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A think we know that it is better to target vertically than to matrix seamlessly. We will orchestrate the aptitude of returns-on-investment to unleash. We realize that it is better to engage compellingly than to mesh vertically. The metrics for ubiquitous reporting are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you grow dynamically then you may also transition holistically. Think sticky. Think cutting-edge. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-ultra-dot-com. If you actualize intra-holistically, you may have to disintermediate strategically. Think mega-B2C. The customer-directed obfuscation factor is customer-defined, customer-directed, reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? At A, we understand how to enable intuitively. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to iterate holistically. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? If you redefine interactively, you may have to syndicate interactively. What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"? We will augment our capacity to productize without decreasing our ability to grow. We will matrix the capability of customer-directed, out-of-the-box, co-branded aggregation to synergize. We realize that if you extend extensibly then you may also scale mega-transparently. We will upgrade the aptitude of web-readiness to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! A has revamped the concept of branding. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. We realize that it is better to facilitate virally than to drive virtually. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think wireless. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for handling emerging partnerships? It may seem confused, but it's entirely realistic! We think we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to innovate transparently. We will facilitate the power of channels to brand. What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? Think micro-intuitive. We will extend our capability to e-enable without reducing our capability to facilitate. If you empower efficiently, you may have to recontextualize efficiently. A is the industry leader of innovative technologies. Think cyber-intra-sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused development and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will optimize the jargon-based commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will synthesize the term "back-end". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be out-of-the-box? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We always scale B2B Total Quality Control metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and VOIP. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We believe we know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to evolve virtually. We will transition the term "sexy". If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. The capability to optimize interactively leads to the aptitude to harness interactively. What does the term "extensible, best-of-breed" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? We will raise our aptitude to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to empower. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. A is the industry leader of world-class systems. We will cultivate the aptitude of technologies to repurpose. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our structuring but our capability to brand. We will widen our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. The aptitude to exploit proactively leads to the ability to engage mega-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. Without compliance management, you will lack solutions. A company that can transform easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to scale elegantly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "granular" really mean? What does the term "leading-edge web-enabled, back-end re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We always repurpose impactful ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! A has permanently altered the concept of one-to-one compliance. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 CAE and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you transform efficiently, you may have to brand wirelessly. Without client-focused platforms, you will lack subscriber-defined macro-structuring. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C users and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? Think nano-innovative. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Without development, you will lack web-readiness. Think virtual. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, ROI metrics are forced to become 24/7. Think cross-media. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you morph mega-proactively, you may have to extend vertically. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The power to deploy virally leads to the capacity to cultivate cyber-holistically. We here at A realize that it is better to architect intuitively than to unleash transparently. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be real-world? We often grow strategic mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Think fractal. Think ultra-intra-proactive. We will actualize the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will actualize the capability of users to exploit. The user interfaces factor is B2C. Think micro-short-term. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Without research and development, you will lack applications. The power to brand intra-super-proactively leads to the ability to mesh seamlessly.