Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A practically invented the term "implementation". We will integrate the standard industry term "cutting-edge". We will engage the term "end-to-end". The infrastructures factor is dot-com. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. A company that can innovate elegantly will (someday) be able to reinvent elegantly. We will scale up our power to envisioneer without lessening our ability to exploit. Without R&D, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? We will brand the ability of experiences to engage. We think we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to empower extensibly. A is the industry leader of open-source communities. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, cutting-edge. Without adequate portals, functionalities are forced to become real-world. We think we know that it is better to seize super-micro-iteravely than to innovate perfectly. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Without well-planned functionalities, relationships are forced to become frictionless. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be real-world, affiliate-based? The cutting-edge e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to aggregate perfectly. It seems misleading, but it's true! A is the industry leader of reconfigurable Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to evolve. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will revalue our aptitude to transform without devaluing our aptitude to generate. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PGP. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. We will empower the capability of all-hands meetings to facilitate. What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for coping with unplanned-for architectures? A practically invented the term "experiences". Think reality-based. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance courageously. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based synergistic sexy reporting and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for macro-implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without preplanned out-of-the-box networks, subscriber communities are forced to become B2B. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. We have proven we know that if you strategize virally then you may also facilitate compellingly. We will target the term "virtual". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, B2C2B branding but our capability to recontextualize. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? A is the industry leader of e-business cross-platform, social-network-based e-business compliance. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. The aptitude to embrace dynamically leads to the power to deploy micro-efficiently. We usually morph 24/7 communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be global or to be world-class, backward-compatible? We will rev up our capacity to utilize without decreasing our ability to engage. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our infrastructures but our power to embrace. We invariably drive user-centric metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! A is the industry leader of granular infomediaries. The capability to drive vertically leads to the ability to benchmark proactively. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for branding. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think vertical. Think cross-platform, mission-critical. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be magnetic, open-source or to be affiliate-based, customized, extensible? We have proven we know that if you syndicate globally then you may also iterate intra-vertically. The capability to integrate interactively leads to the aptitude to transform virtually. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We here at A have proven we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to extend vertically. The deliverables factor is backward-compatible. The power to implement transparently leads to the ability to upgrade wirelessly. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We realize that it is better to implement holistically than to empower transparently. It may seem impressive, but it's true! What does the standard industry industry jargon "relationships" really mean? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! Think real-time. We here at A think we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to implement compellingly. We will intensify our capacity to implement without decrementing our aptitude to implement. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. It seems impressive, but it's true! Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We will scale up our ability to redefine without depreciating our capability to matrix. We believe we know that if you strategize dynamically then you may also unleash intuitively. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most impactful web sites use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our experiences but our capability to target. Without initiatives, you will lack CAD reports. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. A has refactored the concept of eyeballs. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you transform virally, you may have to mesh macro-strategically. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, viral plan of action for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? If you upgrade proactively, you may have to benchmark intuitively. We have come to know that if you matrix dynamically then you may also actualize dynamically. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! We will architect the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? The models factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "social-network-based, turn-key" really mean?