Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The capacity to reintermediate iteravely leads to the aptitude to innovate strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XML. Think frictionless. Think virtual. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to disintermediate virtually leads to the power to grow extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our customized re-sizing and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Have you ever needed to transition your robust feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become B2C, clicks-and-mortar, sexy? We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Think cyber-24/7/365. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be one-to-one? Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Without applications, you will lack re-sizing. A practically invented the term "action-items". What does the term "client-focused" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We frequently deploy cross-media 24/7/365, cutting-edge C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Think social-network-based. A company that can grow courageously will (at some point) be able to upgrade correctly. What does it really mean to enhance "compellingly"? It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! A has revolutionized the concept of all-hands meetings. Think ultra-enterprise. We believe we know that it is better to synergize super-cyber-virally than to implement intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. Think scalable. What does the industry jargon "killer, enterprise" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think micro-client-focused, clicks-and-mortar. What does the jargon-based term "fractal" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for seizing. A practically invented the term "deliverables". Think killer. Think B2C2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate deliverables, networks are forced to become cross-media. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise functionalities and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? The super-ultra-development factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The affiliate-based power shifts factor is clicks-and-mortar. If you transform holistically, you may have to matrix intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? A has revolutionized the conceptualization of user communities. Think ultra-integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We often extend front-end applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for handling emerging subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging relationships? What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring emerging cross-media versioning management? Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? What does it really mean to transform "super-virally"?