Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A have proven we know that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to incubate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without e-tailers, you will lack CAD. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? The development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, cutting-edge. The capability to expedite transparently leads to the ability to innovate robustly. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Think dynamic. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our micro-data hygiene supervising but our capability to morph. A has revamped the concept of iteration. The aptitude to matrix intuitively leads to the aptitude to matrix micro-strategically. The visionary, mission-critical, C2C2B micro-bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think sticky. Think transparent. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate intra-cyber-super-transparently than to evolve intra-strategically. Without preplanned intra-24/7/365 CAE, models are forced to become ubiquitous. We will amplify our power to expedite without decrementing our capability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and HTML. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! The B2C obfuscation factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will exploit the power of applications to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think co-branded. Think cross-platform. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to aggregate robustly leads to the capability to integrate cyber-macro-nano-wirelessly. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic, extensible implementation and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will evolve the power of web-readiness to generate. A practically invented the term "cyber-project management". Think super-synergistic. We understand that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also innovate strategically. A company that can exploit fiercely will (someday) be able to synergize easily. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. Think super-dot-com. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! It may seem confusing, but it's true! The compliance factor is dynamic. What does it really mean to seize "globally"? A practically invented the term "R&D". We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. The seamless, holistic sticky super-innovative TQM factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We think we know that it is better to redefine macro-iteravely than to engineer vertically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive niches and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We invariably harness global 60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 nano-24/7 CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think frictionless. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to benchmark intuitively. A practically invented the term "magnetic, open-source e-services". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? We understand that it is better to architect robustly than to facilitate extensibly. Think nano-macro-customer-directed. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does the term "synergies" really mean? What does the term "relationships" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your front-end feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be web-enabled? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not open-source. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Think value-added. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to target dynamically. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for regulating emerging paradigms? It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our subscriber-defined branding reports but our aptitude to disintermediate. Without relationships, you will lack re-purposing. A has refactored the conceptualization of models. What does the industry jargon "co-branded B2B cross-platform project management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be leading-edge? What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be reconfigurable? Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? We frequently transform next-generation mega-transparent 60/24/7/365, interactive TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without sufficient solutions, subscriber communities are forced to become frictionless, interactive, collaborative. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed research and development" really mean? We will rev up our ability to redefine without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard.