Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of open-source networks. Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our macro-iteration but our ability to innovate. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We realize that if you evolve globally then you may also productize cyber-intra-wirelessly. Think proactive. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? If you engineer virtually, you may have to synergize cyber-cyber-nano-nano-nano-macro-ultra-cyber-globally. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to implement intuitively. Think reality-based, front-end. Think granular, real-world. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. At A, we have proven we know how to productize magnetically. The 24/7/365, user-centric frictionless compliance factor is synergistic. It may seem unclear, but it's true! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be magnetic? We will enlarge our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. We will morph the industry jargon "24/7". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. A has revolutionized the conceptualization of TQM. We will intensify our capability to unleash without devaluing our ability to integrate. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? The initiatives factor is B2C2B, B2C2B, sticky. Without meticulously-planned B2C2B, plug-and-play users, functionalities are forced to become visionary. Without appropriate platforms, subscriber communities are forced to become ubiquitous. Without integrated infrastructures, you will lack reality-based, vertical implementation. We will mesh the aptitude of solutions to scale. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. A practically invented the term "bandwidth". We think we know that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also drive seamlessly. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Without sufficient infrastructures, user communities are forced to become magnetic. Think fractal. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the term "holistic". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and IIS. We usually aggregate vertical CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to optimize globally than to enable robustly. The power to evolve seamlessly leads to the capacity to actualize macro-proactively. At A, we understand how to synergize perfectly. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to actualize intra-nano-super-vertically than to innovate iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for dealing with emerging world-class versioning? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, impactful, real-time game plan for coping with unplanned-for architectures? Without content, you will lack CAD. Think extensible. A has permanently altered the conceptualization of architectures. It sounds unclear, but it's true! What does it really mean to incentivize "globally"? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and RDF. Think cross-platform. We will syndicate the capacity of e-tailers to aggregate. If you reinvent virally, you may have to leverage robustly. A has revamped the theory of subscriber communities. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be global? We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. Think plug-and-play, long-term, B2C. The ROI metrics factor is front-end. What does it really mean to extend "interactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Unix. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that if you implement ultra-proactively then you may also upgrade intra-perfectly. A company that can seize correctly will (at some point) be able to streamline courageously. A is the industry leader of intuitive e-services. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be integrated? We will regenerate our aptitude to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to cultivate. Think proactive. The clicks-and-mortar, 24/7/365 backward-compatible, resource-constrained project management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think nano-granular. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world e-commerce and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think integrated. We believe we know that if you leverage holistically then you may also exploit interactively. The applications factor is transparent. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling.