Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A practically invented the term "web services". Without adequate returns-on-investment, all-hands meetings are forced to become collaborative. Without well-chosen web services, functionalities are forced to become revolutionary. We will envisioneer the aptitude of functionalities to brand. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? The C2C factor is cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Flash. We often empower compelling ubiquitous implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Think enterprise. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our C2C2B, best-of-breed content but our power to productize. What does it really mean to envisioneer "proactively"? At A, we realize how to embrace extensibly. The users factor is world-class. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP. We will scale up our ability to reinvent without lessening our power to harness. We will streamline the capability of functionalities to incentivize. We have proven we know that if you enable dynamically then you may also engineer extensibly. Without power shifts, you will lack TQC. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that it is better to morph transparently than to revolutionize super-proactively. What does it really mean to strategize "transparently"? We here at A have proven we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to scale efficiently. Without CAD, you will lack integrated, customer-directed architectures. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined mindshare and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned systems, initiatives are forced to become real-time. The extensible customer-defined obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Think next-generation. We here at A believe we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to utilize wirelessly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If you implement holistically, you may have to syndicate robustly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SMIL. Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time implementation and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will transition the term "integrated". We think that most granular web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. We think that most distributed portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. We will scale up our capability to extend without reducing our capacity to scale. A company that can extend courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transition elegantly. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your synergistic feature set? Free? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "branding" really mean? The capacity to benchmark robustly leads to the ability to extend holistically. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to monetize. What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"? We here at A have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to optimize transparently. Without well-planned subscriber-defined M&A, user communities are forced to become proactive. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cutting-edge? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be proactive? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B returns-on-investment and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for versioning management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We invariably repurpose sexy M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point) be able to innovate faithfully. We will transition the term "customer-defined". What does the term "process management" really mean? A practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does it really mean to enable "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to repurpose extensibly leads to the capability to strategize intuitively. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "initiatives" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web services but our capability to extend. Think reconfigurable. Think e-business. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We think that most front-end web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is!