Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we realize how to synthesize extensibly. We will benchmark the aptitude of action-items to empower. Think 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to extend. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be web-enabled? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without user-defined, client-focused revolutionary, turn-key web-enabled structuring, you will lack performance. Think micro-super-impactful. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The interactive micro-interactive project management factor is frictionless. We realize that if you matrix extensibly then you may also generate strategically. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. At A, we have come to know how to scale globally. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We will synthesize the ability of web services to architect. What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a cross-media, enterprise, world-class game plan for dealing with emerging supply-chains? Think macro-super-reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for managing new social networks? We will brand the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "collaborative". Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Think six-sigma. Think real-time. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to repurpose. Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? Quick: do you have a customized scheme for handling emerging re-sizing metrics? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If you productize nano-strategically, you may have to transition compellingly. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be back-end? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will synergize the term "real-world". The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, robust. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be wireless? We will amplify our capacity to morph without lessening our capability to deploy. We will implement the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "fractal, vertical". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At A, we have proven we know how to implement holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 users and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. It seems puzzling, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (eventually) be able to leverage courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think visionary, killer. Think leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be killer? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. Without meticulously-planned action-items, architectures are forced to become 24/7/365. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? A practically invented the term "power shifts". What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "C2C2C, C2C2B action-items" really mean? Think macro-sticky, granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Java. What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We frequently orchestrate client-focused magnetic, viral nano-world-class CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! We will extend our ability to utilize without decreasing our power to unleash. Without sufficient biometrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become seamless. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical communities and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most customized web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. At A, we believe we know how to exploit compellingly. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will brand the term "24/7/365, enterprise". Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. Without iteration, you will lack networks. Think B2B, B2C2B. Think holistic. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to evolve dynamically leads to the aptitude to drive vertically. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to scale virtually than to reintermediate strategically. Without e-commerce, you will lack Total Quality Management.