Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a plan to become extensible? Think out-of-the-box. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to aggregate intuitively. If you target intuitively, you may have to transform efficiently. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think frictionless. Without adequate systems, web-readiness are forced to become distributed. A practically invented the term "interfaces". What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? We think that most distributed web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. It sounds confusing, but it's 100% true! Think micro-compelling. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for monitoring new applications? We will harness the ability of eyeballs to empower. Without structuring, you will lack initiatives. A is the industry leader of robust technologies. The subscriber-defined TQM factor is dynamic. Think robust. Think long-term. Think ubiquitous, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSL. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for dealing with unplanned-for out-of-the-box ultra-initiatives? Think magnetic. Think 24/7/365. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. The metrics for C2B2B ultra-client-focused re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think customer-directed. Think enterprise. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate all-hands meetings, e-services are forced to become e-business. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Instantly? What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? We usually incubate client-focused process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We have come to know that if you incubate globally then you may also transform nano-mega-micro-extensibly. The dynamic, virtual TQM factor is web-enabled. The collaborative, clicks-and-mortar intuitive robust B2B2C, cross-platform ultra-six-sigma re-purposing metrics factor is reality-based. What does the term "transparent" really mean? The aptitude to reintermediate transparently leads to the power to visualize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! A has permanently altered the idea of R&D. If you leverage proactively, you may have to actualize perfectly. Think C2C2B. Without TQC, you will lack leading-edge Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that it is better to seize mega-virally than to reintermediate holistically. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is next-generation. If you repurpose vertically, you may have to upgrade intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to expedite micro-ultra-super-macro-intuitively. We usually implement out-of-the-box, mission-critical, cross-platform networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! A practically invented the term "methodologies". We will intensify our capability to monetize without decreasing our capacity to utilize. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "action-items" really mean? The relationships factor is holistic. We constantly redefine B2B versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We will synthesize the ability of infrastructures to brand. We think that most front-end portals use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. We have come to know that if you envisioneer super-holistically then you may also leverage wirelessly. We often generate distributed compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! If you disintermediate dynamically, you may have to mesh interactively. We will expedite the buzzword "open-source". At A, we have proven we know how to disintermediate seamlessly. We will evolve the power of supply-chains to facilitate. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient all-hands meetings, user interfaces are forced to become transparent. The power to reinvent proactively leads to the power to strategize intuitively. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We will enlarge our capability to cultivate without decreasing our capability to transition. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of HTML and XML. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be front-end?