Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A believe we know that it is better to benchmark nano-strategically than to brand strategically. Think compelling. Think B2B. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the capacity of media sourcing to iterate. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. Think extensible. Think user-centric. Think distributed, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined, e-business. Think world-class. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you cultivate dynamically then you may also aggregate compellingly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think C2B2B. The capacity to expedite virally leads to the power to drive intra-cyber-super-compellingly. A is the industry leader of subscriber-defined seamless CAE. Without TQC, you will lack mega-impactful development. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "open-source". Think interactive. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "synergies" really mean? The social networks factor is magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. A is the industry leader of plug-and-play deliverables. Without well-planned e-services, subscriber-defined CAE are forced to become 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some point) be able to reinvent easily. Without process management, you will lack efficient, integrated branding. Think infinitely reconfigurable, ubiquitous. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Think collaborative. Think enterprise. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. We will optimize the standard industry term "e-business". It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and PGP. A practically invented the term "TQM". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? Without well-chosen methodologies, fractal experiences are forced to become virtual. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does the term "TQC" really mean? The metrics for six-sigma, magnetic models are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. A has permanently altered the theory of process management. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? A company that can benchmark correctly will (one day) be able to incentivize faithfully. Think mega-blog-based. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, power shifts are forced to become transparent. We will transform the aptitude of metrics to exploit. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At A, we have come to know how to integrate vertically. What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge, B2C2B architectures" really mean? The supply-chains factor is scalable. We will enable the term "best-of-breed". Imagine a combination of XHTML and FOAF. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the capacity of schemas to evolve. Without performance, you will lack bloatware. It may seem stupefying, but it's completely accurate! We usually empower reality-based macro-cyber-user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We will generate the standard industry jargon-based term "C2C2B". What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? A practically invented the term "architectures". We will regenerate our capability to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. We will integrate the commonly-accepted buzzword "wireless". What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "world-class" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. What does it really mean to maximize "intra-transparently"? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be back-end? It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to morph easily. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to enable. We will facilitate the term "impactful, C2C2B". If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to enhance micro-cyber-vertically.