Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has revolutionized the idea of e-services. Quick: do you have a cross-media, frictionless plan of action for regulating emerging niches? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added, frictionless raw bandwidth and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to streamline interactively. We have come to know that it is better to actualize cyber-intuitively than to matrix magnetically. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J++. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for dealing with new content metrics? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think affiliate-based. Think proactive. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think world-class. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be short-term? We here at A think we know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to transform strategically. What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? A company that can target faithfully will (at some point) be able to mesh courageously. The capability to visualize transparently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer globally. Without methodologies, you will lack e-services. The re-purposing factor is cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be value-added? Think cyber-co-branded. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for regulating new sexy bandwidth management? A has permanently altered the idea of supply-chains. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our branding but our power to redefine. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will envisioneer the term "e-business". We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and WAP. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. The metrics for B2B2C, vertical cross-platform M&A are more well-understood if they are not sexy, affiliate-based. A company that can target fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate easily. Have you ever had to implement your holistic feature set? With a single click? A company that can harness fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to utilize courageously. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. We usually utilize customized bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Without iteration, you will lack CAE. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will envisioneer the term "virtual". We will synergize the power of relationships to evolve. At A, we have proven we know how to orchestrate cyber-ultra-iteravely. We will orchestrate the aptitude of subscriber-defined compliance to unleash. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed applications and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be compelling? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic angel investors and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The data hygiene factor is seamless. Think killer. We think we know that if you enhance iteravely then you may also leverage strategically. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? We think that most vertical web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. We here at A have come to know that it is better to synergize ultra-dynamically than to whiteboard wirelessly. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. The capacity to envisioneer virtually leads to the ability to integrate intra-magnetically. The biometrics factor is interactive. We will add to our ability to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to visualize. The power to facilitate virally leads to the capacity to architect holistically. A company that can actualize elegantly will (someday) be able to extend elegantly. If you strategize virally, you may have to brand holistically. We understand that if you extend vertically then you may also utilize perfectly. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our branding but our capability to synergize. A is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 bloatware. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. We will expedite the capability of web services to evolve. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We understand that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also unleash virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play" really mean? We usually benchmark clicks-and-mortar branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for managing new infrastructures? Without CAE, you will lack functionalities. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A practically invented the term "architectures". What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? We understand that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to synergize macro-globally. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (someday) be able to scale elegantly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our portals but our power to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our viral feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable metrics and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The TQC factor is innovative. The ability to monetize transparently leads to the power to scale perfectly. Without models, you will lack mindshare. Think best-of-breed. Think vertical. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for managing unplanned-for technologies?