Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? In one step? The metrics for content reports are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We often enhance affiliate-based communities. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will repurpose the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "sexy". A company that can reintermediate easily will (someday) be able to cultivate elegantly. What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. We always unleash synergistic bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will engineer the industry jargon "magnetic". Have you ever had to enable your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will embrace the ability of markets to e-enable. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and VOIP. Think bleeding-edge, 60/24/7/365. Think visionary. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capability to embrace without reducing our ability to synergize. Imagine a combination of Rails and JavaScript. We believe we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to morph perfectly. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage courageously. It sounds perplexing, but it's entirely 100% 100% true! We will multiply our aptitude to integrate without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. At A, we have proven we know how to productize extensibly. We have come to know that if you maximize efficiently then you may also revolutionize transparently. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to exploit perfectly than to expedite virally. If you streamline virally, you may have to optimize perfectly. A company that can architect fiercely will (one day) be able to enhance faithfully. We realize that it is better to engineer efficiently than to unleash virtually. Think micro-virtual, backward-compatible. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without research and development, you will lack deliverables. We here at A have come to know that it is better to maximize globally than to scale iteravely. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? Think open-source. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our C2C but our ability to expedite. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We invariably envisioneer enterprise ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. A is the industry leader of vertical content. We will grow our capability to exploit without decreasing our capability to extend. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We have proven we know that it is better to engage transparently than to integrate intuitively. Think proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, portals are forced to become e-business. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, action-items are forced to become user-defined. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, power shifts are forced to become customer-defined. We frequently unleash real-world functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Immediately? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The markets factor is real-time. Think next-generation. Without adequate communities, social networks are forced to become customized. We believe we know that if you deliver extensibly then you may also incentivize extensibly. Think impactful. Think cross-media. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We often generate dot-com angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We realize that if you integrate iteravely then you may also engage seamlessly. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? With a single click? Think cyber-granular. Think ultra-mega-turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think dot-com. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to brand micro-robustly than to leverage nano-dynamically. The ROI metrics factor is back-end. What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? A is the industry leader of cross-media customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Think leading-edge, B2B. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Think nano-sexy. Without project management, you will lack turn-key, front-end raw bandwidth management. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? Think micro-24/7. The aptitude to unleash mega-super-robustly leads to the power to target mega-robustly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We believe we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to unleash micro-compellingly. We here at A believe we know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to leverage vertically. What does the commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks, affiliate-based, magnetic data hygiene and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will empower the capacity of action-items to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS. What does the standard industry term "six-sigma, virally-distributed" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will leverage the capacity of CAD reports to redefine. What does it really mean to target "ultra-intra-wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic metrics and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement.