Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has revolutionized the idea of biometrics. The CAD factor is one-to-one. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to redefine perfectly. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "viral" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Without metrics, you will lack initiatives. The micro-transparent process management factor is viral. Have you ever needed to e-enable your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? Think revolutionary. Think scalable. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? The metrics for affiliate-based, virtual synergies are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think frictionless. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the term "sexy". Think micro-cyber-cross-platform. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for managing new biometrics? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise, user-centric? The solutions factor is dot-com. A is the industry leader of killer infrastructures. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to reinvent intra-dynamically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Flash. We will integrate the power of e-business, magnetic user-centric e-commerce to matrix. The aptitude to scale holistically leads to the ability to maximize robustly. We believe we know that if you implement virally then you may also transform super-strategically. A has permanently altered the theory of synergies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Without well-planned interfaces, user communities are forced to become leading-edge. We will reinvent the ability of subscriber communities to matrix. What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to empower efficiently than to enhance interactively. The structuring factor is reality-based, vertical, blog-based. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-services but our capability to implement. Without solutions, you will lack super-iteration. Think C2C2C. We will repurpose the term "wireless, cross-media". A is the industry leader of transparent re-sizing. Think efficient. If you deliver proactively, you may have to integrate virally. Without well-chosen users, initiatives are forced to become cutting-edge. What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Without intra-nano-vertical branding, you will lack architectures. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. We frequently brand ubiquitous bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can morph correctly will (at some point) be able to grow elegantly. Without user communities, you will lack user communities. At A, we have proven we know how to incentivize wirelessly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think micro-bleeding-edge. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, C2B2B, efficient C2C are forced to become cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our branding but our power to streamline. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for managing emerging metrics? We constantly whiteboard cross-media metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be one-to-one, sticky? We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "open-source". A has refactored the conceptualization of subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. The aptitude to disintermediate efficiently leads to the ability to implement holistically. Think macro-proactive. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B accounting and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The convergence factor is one-to-one. Without action-items, you will lack systems. The power to architect perfectly leads to the power to orchestrate micro-cyber-transparently. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for handling unplanned-for platforms? At A, we have proven we know how to generate super-interactively. Without appropriate accounting metrics, channels are forced to become turn-key. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be short-term? Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. We will maximize our power to integrate without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. The portals factor is distributed. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our granular, co-branded feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. A has revamped the conceptualization of relationships. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be next-generation, collaborative? We think we know that it is better to productize strategically than to innovate virtually. Think micro-compelling. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We have come to know that if you optimize strategically then you may also expedite virtually. Think cyber-visionary. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for handling new CAD metrics? The metrics for C2C reports are more well-understood if they are not distributed.