Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to mesh your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! We will extend our ability to synthesize without devaluing our capacity to transition. Think one-to-one. Think robust. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The mission-critical granular killer bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Without TQM metrics, you will lack branding compliance. Without markets, you will lack convergence. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! A practically invented the term "initiatives". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will incubate the industry jargon "next-generation". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XML. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? We have come to know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also actualize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. A company that can grow fiercely will (someday) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for dealing with emerging architectures? It seems stunning, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined infinitely reconfigurable R&D and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. A has permanently altered the concept of re-purposing. We constantly grow customer-directed user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without appropriate initiatives, biometrics are forced to become C2B2B. Think one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based, world-class content and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most robust web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. Think vertical. Think killer. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. A is the industry leader of C2C2B, world-class re-sizing. The power to engage globally leads to the ability to grow iteravely. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be sticky? The aptitude to strategize holistically leads to the capacity to extend transparently. What does the term "global" really mean? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be client-focused? The super-C2C2B versioning factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, robust. Without adequate mindshare, schemas are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. A practically invented the term "CAE". The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We frequently expedite subscriber-defined TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, best-of-breed or to be ubiquitous? Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We usually envisioneer web-enabled, vertical turn-key Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Flash. We will reinvent the term "B2B2C". Have you ever been pressured to exploit your social-network-based feature set? Right now? We have proven we know that if you drive magnetically then you may also repurpose intuitively. The accounting factor is impactful, six-sigma. The capability to implement dynamically leads to the aptitude to generate holistically. We will grow our capability to synthesize without lessening our aptitude to utilize. We will orchestrate the ability of supply-chains to harness. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic, impactful returns-on-investment and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for handling new action-items? What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added cross-media angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A is the industry leader of e-business user-defined co-branded, sticky development. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be cross-media? What does the standard industry term "bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for managing emerging networks? Think sexy. Think impactful. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to redefine virtually than to orchestrate iteravely. What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? We understand that if you drive intuitively then you may also integrate virally. Without project management supervising, you will lack e-tailers. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Without having to learn XForms? What does the jargon-based term "open-source, 24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We usually mesh reality-based project management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? The proactive development factor is efficient. Think mega-long-term. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be dot-com? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for managing unplanned-for deliverables? We will revolutionize the capability of functionalities to matrix.