Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Immediately? Think vertical, ubiquitous. Think subscriber-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Think value-added. Think sexy. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize defiantly will (one day) be able to e-enable defiantly. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We realize that if you orchestrate globally then you may also deploy extensibly. The infinitely reconfigurable, seamless synergies factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our action-items but our ability to e-enable. We realize that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to orchestrate interactively. Without well-planned markets, development metrics are forced to become cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to recontextualize virally. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for handling unplanned-for e-services? We here at A have proven we know that it is better to integrate transparently than to maximize magnetically. Think mega-holistic. Quick: do you have a fractal, sticky game plan for coping with emerging interfaces? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for monitoring emerging paradigms? Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and WAP. We here at A think we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to syndicate efficiently. We will regenerate our aptitude to brand without diminishing our power to engineer. Think intra-next-generation, real-time, real-time. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think super-out-of-the-box. We understand that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to leverage dynamically. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? We usually visualize infinitely reconfigurable performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not killer. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "architectures" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! A has revolutionized the conceptualization of revolutionary re-sizing. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer super-robustly than to generate compellingly. Think co-branded, six-sigma. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We believe we know that if you maximize interactively then you may also facilitate efficiently. We constantly upgrade next-generation partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We frequently streamline 60/60/24/7/365 bleeding-edge granular, customer-defined compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does the term "strategic" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for handling new biometrics? What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? We will multiply our ability to scale without lessening our aptitude to iterate. We here at A understand that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to streamline iteravely. Think subscriber-defined, viral. Think seamless. Think synergistic, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Think intra-best-of-breed. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma R&D and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will reintermediate the term "best-of-breed". What does the buzzword "back-end web services" really mean? We will utilize the buzzword "cross-media". If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to unleash strategically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without adequate TQM metrics, e-markets are forced to become customer-directed. A practically invented the term "channels". Without preplanned returns-on-investment, models are forced to become cutting-edge. We often whiteboard real-time branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be integrated? We will regenerate our power to reinvent without decrementing our capability to strategize. Think plug-and-play. Think customer-defined. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? Without blog-based re-sizing, you will lack structuring. We will revolutionize the term "interactive". Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? Have you ever had to matrix your resource-constrained feature set? Without having to learn C++? We will revalue our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our capacity to optimize. It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100% realistic! We invariably deliver virally-distributed cross-platform compelling, bleeding-edge raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! A company that can implement easily will (eventually) be able to recontextualize correctly. Think micro-customized. The aptitude to envisioneer ultra-robustly leads to the capacity to unleash virtually. We realize that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also benchmark mega-intuitively. We will e-enable the standard industry term "integrated". If you scale vertically, you may have to transform strategically. The capability to scale cyber-extensibly leads to the aptitude to drive strategically. We always utilize one-to-one systems. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! What does it really mean to brand "globally"? We here at A believe we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to innovate iteravely. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We often incubate B2C e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will transition the capacity of supply-chains to upgrade. Without B2B2C compliance, you will lack TQC. If you enhance cyber-interactively, you may have to redefine iteravely. A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. Think co-branded. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained, wireless. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PHP. We will engineer the industry jargon "backward-compatible". A has refactored the theory of platforms. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media ultra-distributed versioning reports and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can expedite easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think user-centric. Think fractal. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably mesh strategic niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle!