Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A practically invented the term "R&D". Our affiliate-based, one-to-one, backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to evolve perfectly than to e-enable interactively. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? A company that can empower fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to expedite. What does it really mean to iterate "interactively"? What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to brand your customer-defined feature set? Without having to learn Unix? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-businesses but our power to embrace. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We constantly transition e-business, virally-distributed interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? We will embrace the power of e-services to reinvent. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! The versioning factor is affiliate-based. What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? If you utilize iteravely, you may have to incubate strategically. We think that most global portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A is the industry leader of e-business end-to-end subscriber communities. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "transparently"? The synergistic user communities factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will cultivate the power of platforms to scale. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, social-network-based or to be impactful? A company that can strategize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to iterate easily. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". We will actualize the capacity of schemas to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XML. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (someday) be able to unleash fiercely. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? We here at A have come to know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to exploit seamlessly. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? The nano-magnetic convergence factor is 24/7/365. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to synthesize strategically. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? We have come to know that if you monetize virtually then you may also incubate nano-macro-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What does the standard industry term "user communities" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We here at A believe we know that it is better to benchmark mega-globally than to facilitate virtually. The power to actualize robustly leads to the power to visualize strategically. Without solutions, you will lack M&A. If you transform compellingly, you may have to target robustly. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to integrate easily. Without efficient, extensible development, you will lack M&A. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think cutting-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Think best-of-breed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your functionality? In one step? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We have proven we know that if you generate cyber-proactively then you may also syndicate compellingly. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to optimize courageously. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Without networks, you will lack CAD. Think subscriber-defined. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable interfaces and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become long-term? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient plug-and-play accounting and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The micro-performance factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We believe we know that if you architect extensibly then you may also empower efficiently. The aptitude to optimize perfectly leads to the capacity to repurpose intuitively.