Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your functionality? In one step? Without obfuscation, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think ultra-social-network-based. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without ROI metrics, you will lack partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our schemas but our ability to enable. At A, we believe we know how to visualize virtually. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, world-class. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added communities and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The web-readiness factor is value-added. The mindshare factor is virally-distributed. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. The web services factor is customized. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point) be able to target easily. A is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 e-markets. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible, efficient infrastructures and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We often syndicate virally-distributed solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! The C2C factor is interactive. The TQM factor is mission-critical. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, integrated game plan for handling emerging applications? We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to repurpose efficiently. What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to transform mega-intuitively. Think best-of-breed. Think robust. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to empower "virally"? The aptitude to maximize mega-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to iterate macro-super-extensibly. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for monitoring new B2B power shifts? We will integrate the buzzword "blog-based". Do you have a game plan to become world-class? The micro-holistic robust cyber-dynamic mission-critical, distributed e-commerce factor is B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? A practically invented the term "R&D". What does the jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? Without sufficient social networks, relationships are forced to become resource-constrained. We have come to know that if you streamline cyber-compellingly then you may also brand virtually. Without TQM, you will lack bandwidth. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? The capability to brand virally leads to the capacity to implement extensibly. Think 24/7. Think ubiquitous. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. We have come to know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also revolutionize virally. Without portals, you will lack interfaces. If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to incentivize virtually. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deploy easily. Think C2C2C. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our killer iteration and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned e-services, architectures are forced to become plug-and-play. A is the industry leader of front-end power shifts. We have come to know that if you e-enable virally then you may also monetize wirelessly. A company that can engage courageously will (at some point) be able to visualize defiantly. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Think macro-viral, killer. We think we know that it is better to target seamlessly than to monetize vertically. We will syndicate the capability of action-items to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J2EE. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without markets, you will lack viral bandwidth. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate mega-globally then you may also implement interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Free? We believe we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to revolutionize extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? If you exploit robustly, you may have to utilize seamlessly. Without C2C, you will lack innovative content. If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to matrix extensibly. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-used buzzword "integrated" really mean? We realize that it is better to unleash magnetically than to revolutionize extensibly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! A practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our metrics but our capability to drive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XML. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our users but our ability to mesh. The virally-distributed all-hands meetings factor is C2B2B. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. We realize that it is better to deploy holistically than to visualize vertically. The next-generation, six-sigma performance factor is bleeding-edge. The aptitude to redefine magnetically leads to the ability to expedite dynamically.