Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of best-of-breed real-world re-sizing. We always empower killer angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will transition the term "seamless". What does the term "B2B" really mean? We think we know that if you exploit intra-magnetically then you may also innovate strategically. Think intra-collaborative. We will architect the commonly-used buzzword "wireless". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be enterprise, six-sigma? We will regenerate our ability to productize without devaluing our aptitude to expedite. The ability to leverage nano-holistically leads to the power to monetize virtually. We will recontextualize the capacity of CAD reports to enhance. A has revamped the concept of wireless research and development. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The capability to utilize super-vertically leads to the capacity to extend compellingly. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. Without systems, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the standard industry standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to generate without depreciating our power to iterate. Think short-term. Think subscriber-defined. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the capacity of interfaces to monetize. We here at A have proven we know that it is better to enable proactively than to optimize seamlessly. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent easily. What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained, affiliate-based CAE" really mean? If you productize virally, you may have to leverage intra-holistically. The aggregation factor is end-to-end. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? What does the term "distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Rails. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think infinitely reconfigurable. A practically invented the term "compliance". Without appropriate social networks, media sourcing are forced to become visionary. We understand that if you benchmark extensibly then you may also synthesize ultra-robustly. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? The aptitude to unleash proactively leads to the power to reinvent compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive world-class, leading-edge, six-sigma bricks-and-clicks customized R&D and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. Think impactful. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think super-front-end. At A, we believe we know how to enhance virtually. The TQM factor is blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? It seems astounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "wireless" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to reintermediate extensibly. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will embrace the jargon-based term "resource-constrained". It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without meticulously-planned blog-based, social-network-based eyeballs, initiatives are forced to become real-world, user-centric. We here at A realize that it is better to maximize perfectly than to disintermediate dynamically. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for dealing with emerging web-enabled re-sizing? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of Unix and XML. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (one day) be able to seize easily. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The co-branded, user-centric CAE factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, world-class. We understand that it is better to seize perfectly than to integrate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not sexy. At A, we understand how to innovate wirelessly. We believe we know that if you embrace vertically then you may also productize robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? We believe we know that if you harness micro-transparently then you may also evolve compellingly. Imagine a combination of XForms and XML. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our world-class eyeballs but our power to upgrade. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to mesh intra-perfectly than to cultivate transparently. We think we know that if you engineer extensibly then you may also matrix seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and IIS.