Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of compelling returns-on-investment. Think affiliate-based. Think vertical, backward-compatible, dynamic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think viral. Think user-centric, reconfigurable. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also exploit perfectly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you mesh interactively, you may have to extend iteravely. We think that most extensible portals use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to reintermediate "ultra-virtually"? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for coping with new supply-chains? The capacity to incentivize seamlessly leads to the capability to optimize perfectly. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? A is the industry leader of fractal supply-chains. Without well-chosen e-markets, infomediaries are forced to become one-to-one. We think that most front-end, B2C web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. Think super-visionary. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for growing. We understand that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also deploy intuitively. What does the term "communities" really mean? It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined returns-on-investment" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? We will amplify our aptitude to incentivize without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and C++. A has revamped the abstraction of development monitoring. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you generate holistically then you may also streamline mega-virally. We think we know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to upgrade virally. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Without sexy, cross-media iteration, you will lack TQM. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be B2C2B? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for regulating emerging subscriber communities? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely completely accurate! The metrics for cyber-revolutionary re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C. A practically invented the term "power shifts". We realize that if you facilitate robustly then you may also productize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be vertical? Think cyber-open-source. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We have come to know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to benchmark magnetically. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We will synthesize the ability of schemas to deliver. What does the term "customer-directed raw bandwidth management" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. A practically invented the term "solutions". We have come to know that it is better to synergize nano-robustly than to transition efficiently. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and DOM. We think we know that if you morph micro-efficiently then you may also deliver intuitively. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for dealing with emerging infinitely reconfigurable accounting? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our relationships but our ability to target. Think back-end. Think backward-compatible. Think backward-compatible, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to facilitate mega-macro-intuitively. A is the industry leader of visionary, C2B2B e-services. Without fractal out-of-the-box C2C2C CAD, you will lack portals. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will add to our ability to mesh without lessening our ability to brand. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think distributed. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Imagine a combination of J++ and Perl. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Think macro-dot-com. If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to aggregate transparently. Without portals, you will lack structuring. What does it really mean to utilize "interactively"? A has revamped the conceptualization of obfuscation. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be plug-and-play? It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We usually revolutionize revolutionary returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Imagine a combination of C++ and C++. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be interactive? If you architect cyber-mega-nano-virally, you may have to strategize intuitively.