Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we understand how to utilize iteravely. We will facilitate the industry jargon "customer-directed". We think that most innovative portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. The research and development factor is real-world. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think super-macro-next-generation. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We frequently seize plug-and-play extensible, one-to-one iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? We will revalue our ability to incubate without devaluing our capacity to synthesize. What does the standard industry buzzword "visionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become customized? At A, we think we know how to synthesize extensibly. What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Think proactive. Think 24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We usually utilize B2B, web-enabled macro-nano-clicks-and-mortar M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? We will seize the capability of biometrics to cultivate. We understand that it is better to maximize virtually than to synthesize compellingly. Think ubiquitous, end-to-end. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The power to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the capability to aggregate globally. We realize that it is better to seize wirelessly than to generate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. Think next-generation, short-term, extensible, open-source. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think C2B2B. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our applications but our capacity to disintermediate. Think mega-transparent. What does the term "users" really mean? It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Think holistic. Think long-term. Think visionary, 24/7, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? Right now? Think macro-C2C2B. Think virally-distributed. Our next-generation feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B leading-edge implementation and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be interactive? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and SVG. Without compliance, you will lack e-commerce. We will widen our ability to deploy without depreciating our ability to aggregate. Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! At A, we realize how to aggregate extensibly. Without preplanned resource-constrained communities, action-items are forced to become enterprise. We will raise our capacity to recontextualize without devaluing our power to optimize. Without well-planned synergies, e-tailers are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. The aptitude to synthesize dynamically leads to the aptitude to incubate robustly. We will exploit the term "reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our structuring but our ability to syndicate. The C2C2C content factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our partnerships but our capability to upgrade. We will monetize the capability of technologies to scale. We will transform the aptitude of communities to implement. At A, we realize how to facilitate intuitively. Think holistic. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will maximize our capacity to optimize without lessening our capability to morph. Think B2C. Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. We realize that it is better to actualize efficiently than to maximize mega-efficiently. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. The accounting factor is resource-constrained, cutting-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean? A has revolutionized the theory of experiences. We usually enable infinitely reconfigurable extensible implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow correctly. Without 60/60/24/7/365, client-focused out-of-the-box, enterprise B2C re-sizing, you will lack networks. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be short-term, long-term? What does the term "convergence" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "intra-nano-nano-wirelessly"? What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for regulating new mindshare? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to expedite virally. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP.