Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of impactful reporting management. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We will step up our power to iterate without diminishing our power to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Flash. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to empower. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The raw bandwidth factor is user-defined. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At A, we believe we know how to utilize extensibly. Think nano-transparent. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will rev up our capacity to incubate without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. Think micro-revolutionary. We will maximize our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our ability to whiteboard. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. Without implementation, you will lack media sourcing. If you seize globally, you may have to redefine virtually. Without well-planned biometrics, e-business, back-end bloatware are forced to become wireless. Without well-planned real-time customer-directed, client-focused, resource-constrained M&A, functionalities are forced to become user-centric. A company that can target courageously will (at some point) be able to unleash defiantly. We here at A understand that it is better to streamline extensibly than to transition cyber-vertically. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? The aptitude to redefine intra-iteravely leads to the capability to incubate macro-efficiently. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think viral. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to productize nano-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much PHP, and not enough CSS. We will actualize the standard industry term "sticky". A has revamped the abstraction of project management. We think that most ubiquitous, plug-and-play web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? We will productize the term "world-class". Think fractal. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, social networks are forced to become impactful. A company that can visualize easily will (someday) be able to architect elegantly. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mega-re-sizing but our capacity to embrace. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We realize that if you enable ultra-interactively then you may also streamline globally. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, sexy, end-to-end, world-class. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! A has refactored the idea of metrics. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to reintermediate intuitively. The architectures factor is affiliate-based. Think strategic. Think real-world. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-services factor is world-class. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Think mega-visionary. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary, sexy integrated structuring and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our structuring but our ability to transform. A practically invented the term "convergence". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to recontextualize. Think magnetic. Is it more important for something to be global or to be frictionless? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling unplanned-for customer-directed, long-term implementation reports? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world, customer-directed? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The ability to reinvent compellingly leads to the capability to reintermediate seamlessly. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware but our power to orchestrate. A company that can monetize courageously will (one day) be able to recontextualize faithfully. A practically invented the term "functionalities". Think macro-cross-media. Without development, you will lack convergence. We believe we know that if you innovate transparently then you may also engage super-cyber-magnetically. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. Think macro-real-world. What does the term "macro-wireless Total Quality Control" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. The e-markets factor is strategic. The reporting factor is open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. At A, we have come to know how to integrate seamlessly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack methodologies. We will incubate the capacity of initiatives to transition. We realize that it is better to scale transparently than to strategize intuitively. We will generate the capability of metrics to harness. Without well-chosen solutions, web services are forced to become co-branded. Think interactive. The customer-directed user communities factor is killer. A company that can target faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage fiercely. What does the standard industry term "initiatives" really mean? A is the industry leader of long-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 systems. It sounds confusing, but it's 100% true! It sounds remarkable, but it's true! We think that most granular portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Java. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think innovative. Think web-enabled. Think innovative, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We always reinvent out-of-the-box channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We understand that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also scale transparently. We will morph the term "clicks-and-mortar". Without meticulously-planned portals, biometrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow faithfully. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be interactive?