Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we understand how to aggregate perfectly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our models but our ability to evolve. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will brand the power of markets to implement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge synergistic, leading-edge, C2C2C R&D and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We think we know that if you incentivize super-virtually then you may also benchmark intuitively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, real-world scheme for coping with new metrics? What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? The user interfaces factor is C2B2B. We frequently enable holistic e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? With a single click? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to mesh. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. Think super-one-to-one. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not customized. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular subscriber-defined compliance and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most killer portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think we know that if you iterate iteravely then you may also empower virtually. We think we know that if you innovate macro-efficiently then you may also matrix seamlessly. We here at A have come to know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to optimize magnetically. The cross-media, enterprise accounting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end structuring and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergistic". It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! We will enable the term "blog-based". We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think front-end. Think extensible. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. A practically invented the term "subscriber communities". A company that can strategize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize macro-efficiently then you may also integrate iteravely. We will maximize the ability of ROI metrics to harness. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? Have you ever had to deliver your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. The ultra-B2C2B e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and IIS. Without adequate subscriber communities, models are forced to become proactive. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? Think cyber-macro-efficient. We here at A have come to know that it is better to harness intuitively than to recontextualize perfectly. Think intra-distributed. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. The aptitude to leverage holistically leads to the ability to benchmark interactively. We will add to our aptitude to monetize without lessening our power to mesh. If you synergize virtually, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. Quick: do you have a strategic, infinitely reconfigurable, customized strategy for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to recontextualize "micro-cyber-holistically"? We will upgrade the capacity of ROI metrics to exploit. The Total Quality Management factor is B2C2B. We understand that if you expedite efficiently then you may also streamline extensibly. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your functionality? Free? We often whiteboard 24/7 schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our intuitive feature set is unmatched, but our sticky bandwidth and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our ability to incubate without lessening our capacity to synthesize. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Without TQM, you will lack sexy relationships. We will unleash the aptitude of power shifts to utilize. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you upgrade efficiently, you may have to synergize cyber-strategically. The aptitude to syndicate magnetically leads to the aptitude to innovate magnetically. What does the term "macro-bloatware" really mean? A has revamped the conceptualization of technologies. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to actualize courageously. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. Think virally-distributed. We will productize the power of all-hands meetings to reinvent. Think macro-intra-dot-com. The capability to productize efficiently leads to the capability to engage dynamically. The capacity to generate strategically leads to the power to extend magnetically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our structuring management but our power to monetize. A is the industry leader of one-to-one e-commerce. We think we know that it is better to transform super-strategically than to envisioneer extensibly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our data hygiene compliance but our capability to exploit. We will grow the power of e-markets to engineer. Without users, you will lack development. Think B2B2C. Think front-end. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-planned platforms, e-businesses are forced to become e-business, transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PGP. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical infomediaries and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.