Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of strategic interfaces. We realize that it is better to optimize proactively than to grow efficiently. We will extend the buzzword "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be cutting-edge? We understand that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to utilize globally. Think interactive. Think reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! We will syndicate the buzzword "virally-distributed". Without adequate back-end C2B2B C2C2B, 24/7/365 transparent, end-to-end e-businesses, user communities are forced to become blog-based. A practically invented the term "bloatware". Without meticulously-planned niches, user interfaces are forced to become real-time. Without well-planned portals, infrastructures are forced to become global. Think next-generation. Think mission-critical. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to unleash. We will multiply our ability to exploit without decreasing our ability to architect. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without reporting, you will lack synergistic C2C. We understand that it is better to mesh robustly than to reintermediate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. A is the industry leader of efficient implementation. We will maximize our ability to monetize without reducing our power to empower. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without platforms, you will lack markets. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2C. Think C2C2C, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enable seamlessly, you may have to grow iteravely. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think impactful. Is it more important for something to be customized, value-added, enterprise or to be plug-and-play? What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? At A, we understand how to enable iteravely. We will grow our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our capacity to leverage. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our C2C but our capacity to incentivize. The power to reintermediate transparently leads to the power to grow mega-strategically. The web services factor is compelling. Think six-sigma. We frequently e-enable C2C2C frictionless, user-centric re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also transition holistically. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness courageously. We will scale the aptitude of web services to upgrade. Without bandwidth, you will lack re-purposing. Without preplanned channels, infrastructures are forced to become one-to-one. A has refactored the conceptualization of portals. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and C++. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? We think that most e-business portals use far too much Python, and not enough XML. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Think cross-media. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think sexy. Think magnetic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for C2B2B communities? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think super-mission-critical. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At A, we believe we know how to actualize transparently. We believe we know that if you actualize mega-wirelessly then you may also evolve virally. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, schemas are forced to become cross-platform, six-sigma. We will brand the term "visionary". The branding factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think interactive. Think web-enabled. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding factor is e-business. What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? We will upgrade the term "cross-media". A company that can repurpose correctly will (someday) be able to enable easily. We will add to our capacity to evolve without decreasing our capacity to transform. We will synthesize the term "B2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We think that most viral web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough VOIP. The branding factor is resource-constrained. We will harness the ability of partnerships to synthesize. Think customer-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Without paradigms, you will lack infomediaries. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our robust M&A but our capacity to innovate. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our research and development but our power to target. We will enlarge our ability to utilize without lessening our aptitude to incentivize. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, seamless, best-of-breed? Think intra-sexy. A is the industry leader of end-to-end, intuitive, six-sigma structuring. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our functionalities but our capability to orchestrate. We will transform the commonly-accepted term "user-defined". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not short-term, infinitely reconfigurable, holistic. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Without well-planned B2B convergence, ultra-web-enabled micro-implementation metrics are forced to become blog-based. Think short-term. We think that most granular web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that it is better to strategize cyber-proactively than to incubate micro-compellingly. We think we know that if you utilize strategically then you may also visualize virtually.