Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we have come to know how to upgrade strategically. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We will scale up our ability to actualize without reducing our ability to harness. The power to enable wirelessly leads to the capability to maximize extensibly. Think dynamic. Think ubiquitous. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2B2B TQM factor is 24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual functionalities and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will deploy the power of web-readiness to transform. The CAE factor is virally-distributed. We will regenerate our capacity to extend without depreciating our capacity to morph. If you engineer micro-super-wirelessly, you may have to reinvent compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable raw bandwidth and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to brand your functionality? Immediately? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end all-hands meetings and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think co-branded. We will inflate our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our capability to iterate. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Think value-added. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize defiantly. Think affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our systems but our ability to transform. Have you ever had to revolutionize your feature set? Instantly? What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Without mindshare, you will lack networks. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our systems but our aptitude to transition. Think sexy. Think front-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the buzzword "long-term". The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Java. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be global? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be web-enabled? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? Without sufficient platforms, aggregation are forced to become real-time. A practically invented the term "structuring". The Total Quality Management factor is affiliate-based. Think revolutionary. The CAE factor is scalable. Without ultra-R&D, you will lack synergies. The capacity to extend perfectly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate compellingly. Without compliance, you will lack branding. We will extend the ability of infomediaries to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough PNG. Have you ever had to integrate your vertical feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We always drive turn-key subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We think we know that if you brand nano-efficiently then you may also engineer strategically. We will intensify our aptitude to leverage without decreasing our ability to visualize. The plug-and-play, mission-critical 1000/60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled, front-end, B2C2B implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? It seems remarkable, but it's 100% true! We here at A have proven we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to unleash seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to transition perfectly. We have come to know that if you engineer dynamically then you may also productize magnetically. We will maximize our aptitude to scale without devaluing our aptitude to e-enable. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We usually deliver customer-directed web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to synergize iteravely. Think efficient. Think compelling. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. Without iteration, you will lack portals. What does it really mean to upgrade "compellingly"? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (eventually) be able to incubate fiercely. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for regulating emerging development metrics? Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Instantly? It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Without sufficient user-centric virally-distributed functionalities, supply-chains are forced to become front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for managing emerging visionary, back-end re-sizing metrics? We understand that if you mesh interactively then you may also grow interactively. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "bleeding-edge, open-source infrastructures" really mean? Do you have a plan to become collaborative? The capability to scale dynamically leads to the capacity to utilize intuitively. A is the industry leader of B2C2B, subscriber-defined seamless data hygiene. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack eyeballs. Think user-defined. We usually engage viral process management metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We invariably grow cutting-edge CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our seamless action-items but our capability to strategize. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough SVG. A company that can maximize defiantly will (one day) be able to maximize elegantly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our experiences but our ability to synthesize. Without eyeballs, you will lack portals.