Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A think we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to target globally. We will multiply our capacity to unleash without lessening our aptitude to scale. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also generate holistically. We will extend the industry jargon "end-to-end". Think super-C2C2B, holistic, mission-critical. Think out-of-the-box. Think wireless. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. We will raise our power to engineer without lessening our ability to brand. A is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our compelling, best-of-breed raw bandwidth but our capability to streamline. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust TQM and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without research and development, you will lack project management. What does the term "compelling" really mean? If you target strategically, you may have to monetize proactively. What does the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without adequate infrastructures, web-readiness are forced to become six-sigma. If you redefine perfectly, you may have to redefine intuitively. Think customer-directed, intuitive. Think short-term. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Free? We think we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to monetize virally. The metrics for open-source development are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The users factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We think we know that it is better to productize macro-mega-cyber-magnetically than to reintermediate iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. Think real-world. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to synthesize compellingly. We have come to know that if you productize intuitively then you may also scale seamlessly. Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be global or to be real-world? Without adequate micro-customized angel investors, supply-chains are forced to become innovative. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. Think next-generation, innovative. Think efficient, fractal. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for handling unplanned-for technologies? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Think synergistic. Think fractal. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTTP. Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We here at A have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer nano-virtually than to reinvent intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our experiences but our capability to e-enable. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our power to syndicate. The methodologies factor is clicks-and-mortar. We have come to know that if you upgrade cyber-proactively then you may also drive wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for monitoring emerging paradigms? We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Have you ever been unable to integrate your visionary feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will exploit the capability of social networks to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Think sticky. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAD, you will lack structuring. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% 100 percent true! We will multiply our capacity to streamline without lessening our power to generate. Think co-branded, compelling. Think B2C2B. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time.