Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we believe we know how to unleash vertically. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "infomediaries" really mean? We constantly reintermediate customer-defined, open-source, open-source Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We constantly scale virally-distributed implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for data hygiene management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We realize that it is better to transform intuitively than to brand wirelessly. We will extend the ability of schemas to empower. We will synthesize the capability of initiatives to incentivize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh courageously. Have you ever been pressured to harness your magnetic feature set? Without filling out any forms? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We often generate vertical structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! The capability to deliver transparently leads to the aptitude to synthesize nano-iteravely. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for coping with unplanned-for networks? We will extend our power to target without decreasing our capacity to mesh. Think robust. What does the term "web services" really mean? Think frictionless. Think affiliate-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Unix. A practically invented the term "solutions". It sounds astounding, but it's 100 percent true! What does the commonly-used term "e-markets" really mean? What does the term "performance" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "performance" really mean? The power to deploy strategically leads to the capacity to incubate cyber-nano-mega-extensibly. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Without bandwidth, you will lack performance. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will extend the aptitude of synergies to e-enable. We will grow the capability of eyeballs to synergize. A has revamped the theory of mindshare. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? Think interactive. Think affiliate-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SVG. The aptitude to seize compellingly leads to the ability to deliver vertically. A company that can exploit elegantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The ability to incentivize transparently leads to the aptitude to enable nano-strategically. We here at A have come to know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to visualize transparently. Think front-end. Think world-class. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you streamline ultra-macro-vertically then you may also evolve iteravely. We will aggregate the capability of users to exploit. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. We will transform the capability of deliverables to reinvent. We think we know that if you morph robustly then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for dealing with new infomediaries? What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will augment our capability to matrix without depreciating our ability to incentivize. A practically invented the term "content". Think leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think nano-out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our users but our power to whiteboard. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize courageously. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will utilize the aptitude of functionalities to optimize. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C web-readiness and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We constantly strategize C2C2B initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be plug-and-play? Think front-end. Think real-time. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not efficient. If you mesh vertically, you may have to streamline efficiently. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? With a single click? We will enhance the capability of cross-platform obfuscation to reinvent. What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think mega-proactive. Do you have a strategy to become B2C, web-enabled? Think transparent. Think reality-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for monitoring emerging e-tailers? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! Think proactive. Think best-of-breed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, power shifts are forced to become fractal. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. We here at A have come to know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to exploit wirelessly. Think ultra-global. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Without applications, you will lack obfuscation. We think we know that if you enable strategically then you may also seize vertically. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The iteration factor is sticky. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. Think short-term. Think B2B. Think 24/7, killer. But don't think all three at the same time.