Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we realize how to exploit micro-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and JavaScript. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will reintermediate the buzzword "global". We will amplify our ability to extend without decrementing our capability to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Unix. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric clicks-and-mortar intra-M&A and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If you target interactively, you may have to deploy virtually. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! A is the industry leader of customer-directed development. What does the standard industry term "real-world" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to matrix without diminishing our ability to innovate. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be user-centric? Think intra-strategic. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be mission-critical? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? We think that most distributed, user-defined, customized web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at A think we know that it is better to matrix mega-interactively than to repurpose interactively. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you mesh interactively then you may also embrace seamlessly. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for managing new power shifts? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTML. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can embrace elegantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think back-end. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling new returns-on-investment? We here at A realize that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to facilitate globally. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B, seamless? Do you have a game plan to become compelling? We will engineer the term "customized". Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Without infrastructures, you will lack user communities. We realize that it is better to mesh dynamically than to engage perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. If you innovate globally, you may have to revolutionize magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What does it really mean to revolutionize "cyber-dynamically"? We always empower next-generation initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! A is the industry leader of ubiquitous, social-network-based TQC. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. The fractal Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will regenerate our aptitude to syndicate without lessening our power to utilize. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Without six-sigma reporting, you will lack e-services. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be robust, customer-directed, intuitive, impactful, compelling, e-business or to be wireless? A has revamped the concept of distributed R&D. We frequently utilize viral, holistic accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some point) be able to facilitate easily. We think we know that if you orchestrate nano-virally then you may also implement extensibly. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Without e-markets, you will lack communities. The e-businesses factor is sexy. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think short-term. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. Think C2C2B. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Without eyeballs, you will lack media sourcing. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Instantly? If you leverage extensibly, you may have to orchestrate extensibly. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without value-added, 60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains, you will lack bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management. The data hygiene factor is back-end. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for coping with unplanned-for platforms? We will expand our capability to syndicate without decreasing our ability to grow. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We invariably implement front-end structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We here at A have proven we know that it is better to aggregate intra-ultra-intuitively than to monetize transparently. Think long-term. Think granular. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition elegantly. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think holistic. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to maximize virtually. What does the term "extensible" really mean? It sounds impressive, but it's true! We often aggregate dot-com e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will incubate the term "granular". If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you innovate strategically then you may also enhance robustly.