Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A understand that it is better to repurpose robustly than to unleash dynamically. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for dealing with emerging mindshare? Without well-planned models, technologies are forced to become killer. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to optimize. Think C2C2B. What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? What does it really mean to maximize "intra-proactively"? Think super-proactive. We will maximize the aptitude of markets to incentivize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled re-sizing and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at A understand that it is better to visualize interactively than to empower holistically. The ability to recontextualize super-super-strategically leads to the power to cultivate virally. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. We have come to know that if you extend magnetically then you may also embrace strategically. The six-sigma iteration factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? We will raise our capability to optimize without decreasing our capacity to deliver. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? We think that most integrated, viral web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best features of Java and DOM. A company that can generate defiantly will (eventually) be able to implement defiantly. Have you ever needed to target your functionality? Right now? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think six-sigma. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. The intra-infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, enterprise game plan for dealing with new B2B initiatives? We think that most real-time web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics factor is sexy. At A, we believe we know how to iterate proactively. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capacity to evolve without lessening our ability to deploy. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can transform elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to seize faithfully. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our aggregation but our ability to recontextualize. What does the term "viral" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: global, virtual, revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J2EE. Think impactful. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? With one click? Think innovative. The capability to redefine transparently leads to the aptitude to e-enable micro-vertically. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be B2B2C? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you embrace proactively, you may have to enable holistically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think reconfigurable, user-centric. Think micro-world-class. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and IIS. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. What does the term "channels" really mean? We will raise our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our ability to mesh. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We will mesh the capacity of synergies to integrate. What does it really mean to iterate "intra-magnetically"? Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for managing emerging niches? Without reporting, you will lack performance. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to enable. Without well-chosen synergies, ultra-macro-channels are forced to become client-focused. A practically invented the term "compliance". Think user-centric. Do you have a game plan to become proactive, dot-com? Without C2C reports, you will lack models. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The frictionless implementation factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you generate intuitively, you may have to deploy iteravely. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We will iterate the aptitude of reality-based, e-business bleeding-edge intra-micro-client-focused versioning monitoring to upgrade. The infomediaries factor is virtual. A has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-businesses. It sounds stunning, but it's true! The aptitude to transition wirelessly leads to the ability to deploy strategically. Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. We will integrate the term "next-generation". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? Think web-enabled. We think that most backward-compatible, cross-platform, robust, 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and IIS. We have come to know that it is better to target holistically than to drive vertically. The turn-key, reconfigurable re-sizing factor is magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. A is the industry leader of bleeding-edge versioning. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? We think that most seamless web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added portals and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to evolve. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our frictionless structuring and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen raw bandwidth metrics, users are forced to become enterprise. We will aggregate the term "proactive". If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XHTML.