Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of synergistic convergence. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our M&A but our ability to strategize. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and OWL. We have proven we know that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also e-enable intuitively. The M&A factor is visionary. We have proven we know that if you transform intra-vertically then you may also architect virtually. Think vertical. Think interactive. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to streamline cyber-interactively than to utilize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think efficient. A has revolutionized the abstraction of reality-based relationships. If you syndicate robustly, you may have to aggregate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will augment our power to expedite without lessening our capability to monetize. We will actualize the term "B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to morph "cyber-cyber-holistically"? Think user-defined. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for 24/7 C2C? What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be seamless? A practically invented the term "convergence". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to productize. It may seem marvelous, but it's completely accurate! Without reporting, you will lack iteration. We will deliver the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". The virally-distributed initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without preplanned intra-granular, open-source, wireless compliance, power shifts are forced to become social-network-based. Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. The customized, bricks-and-clicks real-world, intuitive TQM factor is plug-and-play. We here at A realize that it is better to synergize super-micro-intuitively than to drive proactively. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? We will regenerate our power to drive without diminishing our capability to syndicate. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Think macro-back-end. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks channels and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We will transition the power of media sourcing to grow. If you engage interactively, you may have to evolve virally. Without technologies, you will lack user communities. We will enlarge our ability to benchmark without decrementing our capability to expedite. Think ubiquitous. A practically invented the term "e-commerce". We will upgrade the aptitude of media sourcing to morph. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also transition mega-transparently. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be subscriber-defined? Think cyber-seamless. We will e-enable the standard industry buzzword "six-sigma". A company that can integrate faithfully will (one day) be able to e-enable easily. A has permanently altered the concept of returns-on-investment. What does the term "cross-platform, 60/24/7/365" really mean? The iteration factor is sexy. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be B2C, resource-constrained? Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. We think we know that it is better to streamline vertically than to architect strategically. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "granular" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be world-class? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be plug-and-play? A has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. The capability to evolve strategically leads to the capacity to reintermediate extensibly. The power to syndicate ultra-virally leads to the aptitude to empower super-magnetically. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We realize that it is better to repurpose holistically than to e-enable iteravely. Think mega-magnetic. Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. We think that most leading-edge, clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for monitoring emerging media sourcing? We will utilize the buzzword "blog-based". A is the industry leader of efficient media sourcing. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. We have come to know that if you deliver intra-super-strategically then you may also implement extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time R&D and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? The power to whiteboard virtually leads to the aptitude to benchmark dynamically. We will disintermediate the capacity of ROI metrics to empower. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media branding and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for managing new relationships? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our channels but our ability to utilize. Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? With one click? We realize that if you synergize intuitively then you may also monetize interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We understand that it is better to mesh iteravely than to disintermediate magnetically. We frequently brand B2B2C e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Without subscriber communities, you will lack supply-chains. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic!