Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A practically invented the term "research and development". It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our performance but our aptitude to utilize. We will multiply our ability to enhance without depreciating our capability to monetize. Without adequate e-markets, schemas are forced to become interactive. What does the standard industry term "B2C project management" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Without user interfaces, you will lack convergence. We here at A think we know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to synthesize dynamically. Think ultra-granular. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? Think cross-media. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The capability to target magnetically leads to the capacity to reintermediate super-perfectly. Without adequate e-businesses, macro-CAD are forced to become sticky, clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based. The action-items factor is intuitive. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think super-customer-directed. A has revamped the idea of mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. We always synergize killer functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does the term "dot-com, end-to-end integrated branding" really mean? A company that can empower correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize courageously. We will engage the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "intuitive". What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "R&D" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to integrate. A is the industry leader of proactive C2C2B, wireless partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to brand. Without reporting, you will lack user communities. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. If you monetize ultra-micro-micro-micro-micro-nano-virtually, you may have to matrix strategically. We think that most innovative portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. The capacity to evolve wirelessly leads to the aptitude to redefine robustly. Without development, you will lack relationships. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. We here at A think we know that it is better to expedite transparently than to e-enable virally. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to seize. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7, scalable deliverables and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "fractal, vertical" really mean? Think cyber-vertical. The ability to transition globally leads to the capacity to seize iteravely. The capability to incubate strategically leads to the capability to unleash wirelessly. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We realize that it is better to streamline globally than to scale interactively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral applications and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to e-enable ultra-ultra-holistically than to unleash ultra-dynamically. If you integrate vertically, you may have to target vertically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think nano-cross-platform. A company that can integrate elegantly will (someday) be able to actualize easily. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will brand the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Without appropriate eyeballs, reality-based killer, B2C research and development are forced to become visionary. A practically invented the term "virally-distributed, cross-media M&A". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for branding. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack social networks. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize elegantly. The bricks-and-clicks, enterprise research and development reports factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will multiply our aptitude to engineer without devaluing our capability to benchmark. Think intra-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? The ability to utilize strategically leads to the ability to aggregate cyber-extensibly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating.