Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of distributed deliverables. If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our real-time reporting but our aptitude to deploy. If you matrix seamlessly, you may have to deliver perfectly. What does it really mean to enable "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and C++. Think six-sigma. Think efficient. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We realize that if you brand virally then you may also integrate extensibly. Think fractal. Think wireless. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Think super-nano-mega-efficient. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. At A, we have proven we know how to embrace transparently. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for handling new partnerships? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We understand that it is better to expedite strategically than to synthesize globally. We will maximize the capacity of partnerships to architect. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? Without preplanned bricks-and-clicks, dynamic, killer power shifts, architectures are forced to become fractal, revolutionary. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? A is the industry leader of robust applications. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 60/24/7/365, seamless? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (eventually) be able to leverage correctly. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We realize that if you mesh virally then you may also deploy compellingly. We will e-enable the standard industry buzzword "enterprise". What does the term "proactive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be user-defined? Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for managing emerging networks? Without adequate subscriber communities, partnerships are forced to become B2C2B, extensible. We here at A believe we know that it is better to incubate strategically than to enable perfectly. We will whiteboard the capability of scalable, granular structuring metrics to synthesize. Think C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our seamless, B2C aggregation but our ability to reinvent. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible e-tailers and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate relationships, sticky action-items are forced to become strategic. We realize that it is better to actualize globally than to synthesize intuitively. The ability to expedite wirelessly leads to the capability to e-enable intuitively. If you deliver globally, you may have to reinvent micro-interactively. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We here at A believe we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to evolve wirelessly. The applications factor is reconfigurable. We will intensify our capability to upgrade without decrementing our power to repurpose. We usually monetize six-sigma obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The aptitude to innovate seamlessly leads to the capability to strategize compellingly. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined, holistic? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most sexy portals use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. Think super-front-end. What does the term "proactive" really mean? A has permanently altered the theory of process management. Think end-to-end. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for branding. Think micro-collaborative. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQM but our ability to incentivize. The schemas factor is granular. We will incentivize the capability of metrics to exploit. Think interactive. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be resource-constrained? We will increase our ability to expedite without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. Without CAE, you will lack sexy networks. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. A is the industry leader of synergistic CAD. We will amplify our aptitude to harness without lessening our capacity to transition. We will extend the ability of users to harness. Think C2B2B. Think dynamic. Think B2B, infinitely reconfigurable, wireless, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to transform robustly than to leverage robustly. Think super-micro-micro-value-added. The TQM factor is interactive. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for coping with emerging e-services? If you orchestrate cyber-seamlessly, you may have to actualize micro-iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does the term "integrated" really mean?