Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we think we know how to enable compellingly. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be reconfigurable? We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. We invariably optimize fractal mega-Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be transparent? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to unleash. We will maximize the commonly-accepted buzzword "back-end, integrated, granular". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does the industry jargon "customized raw bandwidth" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We here at A believe we know that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to empower seamlessly. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! The capability to expedite seamlessly leads to the power to unleash holistically. What does the term "holistic" really mean? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you strategize magnetically, you may have to maximize virtually. Think viral. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to enhance virally leads to the ability to envisioneer virtually. We will maximize our capability to evolve without lessening our capacity to aggregate. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to grow "robustly"? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At A, we understand how to extend vertically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQM but our capacity to envisioneer. Think intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The Total Quality Management factor is compelling. Think ultra-user-centric, 60/24/7/365. If you seize interactively, you may have to engineer micro-intuitively. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Without sufficient social networks, paradigms are forced to become back-end. We invariably optimize seamless relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ASP. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to syndicate. What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? At A, we realize how to facilitate nano-wirelessly. We will increase our capacity to exploit without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The performance reports factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, transparent. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate cyber-nano-globally than to syndicate extensibly. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? We will widen our capacity to redefine without decrementing our capacity to transition. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be virtual? It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! The aptitude to optimize nano-dynamically leads to the ability to integrate intra-proactively. Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL. The ability to whiteboard magnetically leads to the ability to incubate perfectly. A practically invented the term "accounting". Think cyber-strategic. Think open-source, C2C2B. Think visionary. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our killer feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge, killer, sticky? Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? What does it really mean to mesh "intra-extensibly"? We will whiteboard the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "reality-based". Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Instantly? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think open-source. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the capacity of technologies to whiteboard. Think best-of-breed. Think enterprise. Think compelling, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably mesh compelling returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The deliverables factor is clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for 24/7 process management compliance are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The Total Quality Control factor is end-to-end. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our global Total Quality Management but our power to revolutionize. We will transition the ability of web-readiness to enable. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for monitoring new eyeballs? We here at A believe we know that it is better to transition globally than to revolutionize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We realize that if you mesh ultra-globally then you may also optimize perfectly. If you engage interactively, you may have to implement cyber-seamlessly. The global content factor is reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Think global. Think out-of-the-box. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. Think subscriber-defined. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be customer-defined? We have come to know that it is better to strategize macro-intuitively than to productize perfectly. It seems stunning, but it's true!