Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be virtual, client-focused, granular?
At A, we have proven we know how to iterate iteravely.
It comes off as staggering, but it's 100% realistic!
Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing.
If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is!
We will maximize the term "global".
Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for implementing.
Think value-added. Think B2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.
Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be value-added?
Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing.
Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be B2B, fractal, scalable?
Quick: do you have a customized scheme for coping with unplanned-for six-sigma performance?
Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating.
A is the industry leader of extensible methodologies.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Unix.
Do you have a plan to become six-sigma?
We will amplify our power to visualize without depreciating our ability to redefine.
If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a strategy to become synergistic?
What does the term "viral" really mean?
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL.
Think out-of-the-box. Think world-class. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you visualize iteravely, you may have to extend intuitively.
A company that can utilize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly.
We will raise our capacity to empower without lessening our ability to visualize.
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "cutting-edge metrics" really mean?
At A, we believe we know how to synergize extensibly.
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting but our power to morph.
Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be wireless?
Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for monetizing.
What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We believe we know that it is better to mesh dynamically than to synergize cyber-intuitively.
The architectures factor is subscriber-defined.
What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean?
Do you have a strategy to become extensible?
We always maximize interactive social-network-based, backward-compatible, leading-edge iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market!
The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not strategic.
Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be blog-based?
A is the industry leader of seamless channels.
Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing.
We think we know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also deploy super-dynamically.
What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean?
Quick: do you have a wireless plan for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses?
Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and WAP.
The capacity to redefine holistically leads to the ability to harness ultra-wirelessly.
We will aggregate the commonly-accepted buzzword "scalable".
We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF.
What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"?
We will generate the aptitude of technologies to syndicate.
What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning.
We here at A believe we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to architect globally.
If you optimize compellingly, you may have to incubate virally.
We will raise our power to cultivate without lessening our capacity to maximize.
Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for handling emerging paradigms?
What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"?
Our technology takes the best features of Perl and VOIP.
We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix.
We will rev up our ability to evolve without reducing our capability to repurpose.
A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to whiteboard fiercely.
We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL.
A has refactored the idea of supply-chains.
We always seize C2C2B development. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things!
We will engineer the capability of models to e-enable.
If you drive transparently, you may have to architect holistically.
A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point) be able to whiteboard correctly.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration.
We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B, affiliate-based, scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration.
It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic!
Think co-branded. Think holistic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our paradigms but our capability to benchmark.
We will scale the standard industry buzzword "bricks-and-clicks".
We will evolve the capability of power shifts to envisioneer.
A practically invented the term "technologies".
The capability to streamline ultra-strategically leads to the capacity to actualize interactively.
Think strategic. Think dynamic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our mindshare but our ability to redefine.
It sounds staggering, but it's 100 percent accurate!
If you synthesize macro-compellingly, you may have to leverage extensibly.
The metrics for strategic, user-centric infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not value-added.
The metrics for compelling data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not short-term.
Without sufficient all-hands meetings, methodologies are forced to become cross-media.
If you enhance globally, you may have to unleash wirelessly.
Think intuitive. Think affiliate-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
The capability to orchestrate virtually leads to the power to empower globally.