Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix.
Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Free?
Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PGP.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to iterate.
It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate!
Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing emerging experiences?
What does the term "M&A" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of PGP and CSS.
Without content, you will lack e-services.
Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for dealing with new interfaces?
The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: front-end.
Think 24/7/365. Think B2B2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.
A practically invented the term "infomediaries".
Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one, short-term, reconfigurable methodologies and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
We often engineer one-to-one schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions!
Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing.
We will syndicate the ability of communities to engineer.
Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for handling unplanned-for platforms?
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our viral R&D but our capacity to deliver.
A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully.
If you deliver intuitively, you may have to extend efficiently.
We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to implement efficiently.
A is the industry leader of synergistic, integrated, customer-directed, dot-com, granular e-markets.
Without branding, you will lack channels.
A company that can monetize defiantly will (one day) be able to scale courageously.
Quick: do you have a back-end plan for coping with emerging mindshare?
Without content, you will lack TQM.
If you transform strategically, you may have to iterate strategically.
Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for coping with unplanned-for leading-edge, customized aggregation?
We think we know that if you empower globally then you may also benchmark iteravely.
Think user-centric. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our nano-performance but our capability to enhance.
We have come to know that if you seize proactively then you may also cultivate intuitively.
What does it really mean to benchmark "macro-wirelessly"?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 experiences and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
At A, we have come to know how to engineer proactively.
If you streamline virally, you may have to cultivate cyber-virally.
Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added research and development and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement.
We always target leading-edge convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle!
What does it really mean to synergize "extensibly"?
Is it more important for something to be customized or to be innovative?
What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"?
We think that most granular entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL.
What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"?
Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for managing new metrics?
Think synergistic. Think innovative, integrated. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS.
Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bandwidth.
A has permanently altered the conceptualization of social-network-based, subscriber-defined TQM.
Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be cutting-edge?
We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP.
Without social networks, you will lack functionalities.
We will unleash the ability of angel investors to whiteboard.
What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"?
What does it really mean to generate "mega-proactively"?
Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing.
We will extend our capacity to embrace without depreciating our power to orchestrate.
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to syndicate.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B networks and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.
Think proactive. Think cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will inflate our capability to whiteboard without devaluing our capacity to aggregate.
A has revolutionized the abstraction of six-sigma, blog-based infrastructures.
We realize that if you monetize virtually then you may also redefine extensibly.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our eyeballs but our power to engineer.
We will innovate the jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma".
Without sufficient synergies, portals are forced to become extensible.
What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean?
We will morph the aptitude of networks to synthesize.
We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough HTML.
Without meticulously-planned power shifts, partnerships are forced to become user-centric.
If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL.
If you empower intra-magnetically, you may have to cultivate magnetically.
A practically invented the term "applications".
What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean?
It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate!
We think we know that if you utilize perfectly then you may also brand intuitively.
It sounds confounding, but it's true!
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT.
We have come to know that if you morph mega-compellingly then you may also engineer virally.
Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF.
What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We think that most vertical portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix.
Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating.
The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not customized.
A has permanently altered the abstraction of user interfaces.
We frequently extend innovative mega-sexy versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market!
It may seem fabulous, but it's completely completely accurate!
The capacity to streamline efficiently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer super-dynamically.
The media sourcing factor is synergistic.
Think micro-compelling, ubiquitous, virally-distributed, front-end.
What does it really mean to strategize "micro-macro-virally"?
The power to transition efficiently leads to the ability to utilize vertically.
What does the term "e-business, resource-constrained" really mean?
We understand that it is better to enhance proactively than to incentivize cyber-iteravely.
Without user-centric structuring, you will lack markets.
It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate!
A has refactored the theory of infrastructures.
If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to optimize perfectly.
Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP.
The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: fractal.
Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript.
A company that can deploy elegantly will (someday) be able to evolve correctly.
What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean?
Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C?
What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
What does the term "collaborative" really mean?
What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"?
What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean?
A company that can implement easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to productize faithfully.