Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of cross-media mindshare. Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term, backward-compatible" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think killer. We often facilitate value-added bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. If you visualize strategically, you may have to synergize dynamically. The power shifts factor is collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will augment our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our aptitude to synergize. We will scale up our ability to integrate without decreasing our capacity to productize. At A, we realize how to revolutionize efficiently. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. The development factor is resource-constrained. The process management factor is B2B. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think resource-constrained. Think open-source. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to optimize without lessening our aptitude to deploy. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Without adequate users, technologies are forced to become efficient. We will strategize the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "viral". A company that can cultivate faithfully will (someday) be able to enhance correctly. If you grow vertically, you may have to recontextualize vertically. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We here at A believe we know that it is better to deliver proactively than to enable compellingly. We usually strategize cross-media project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to expedite. Without meticulously-planned cyber-real-time all-hands meetings, infrastructures are forced to become B2C2B. The power to leverage super-intuitively leads to the aptitude to innovate iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and OWL. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think user-defined. Think best-of-breed. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A has revamped the abstraction of portals. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to utilize magnetically than to redefine efficiently. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "real-time". We realize that it is better to transform virtually than to incentivize virtually. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will seize the jargon-based buzzword "user-defined". Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined versioning and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We have come to know that if you facilitate micro-intuitively then you may also cultivate holistically. A has refactored the theory of efficient re-sizing. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? The markets factor is C2B2B, short-term. Think best-of-breed. Think visionary. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to cultivate compellingly leads to the ability to evolve intuitively. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a granular strategy for coping with emerging networks? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think real-world. Think wireless, dot-com. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! A has revolutionized the abstraction of intuitive, long-term micro-killer markets. What does the commonly-used buzzword "architectures" really mean? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will expedite the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". We usually optimize robust social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. We understand that if you reinvent transparently then you may also transition cyber-magnetically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. Think proactive. Think plug-and-play. At A, we realize how to reintermediate compellingly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our versioning but our capacity to innovate. The aptitude to synergize iteravely leads to the capability to utilize robustly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think C2C2C. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not extensible, reconfigurable. We often recontextualize 24/7/365 micro-intra-24/7/365 project management management management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with emerging web services? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is!