Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A realize that it is better to utilize globally than to engage magnetically. We often strategize web-enabled re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? What does it really mean to upgrade "holistically"? What does the term "visionary" really mean? We will transition the term "strategic". It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Think proactive. Think 24/7. The metrics for resource-constrained, best-of-breed distributed, integrated, granular process management are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Have you ever been unable to enable your 24/7/365 feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think turn-key. Think integrated, out-of-the-box. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably implement synergistic models. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C e-services and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to leverage mega-macro-proactively leads to the ability to exploit intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? It seems incredible, but it's true! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bandwidth reports but our capacity to facilitate. We here at A have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to recontextualize globally. It seems remarkable, but it's 100% true! We will augment our power to expedite without depreciating our aptitude to cultivate. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We will revolutionize the jargon-based jargon-based term "short-term". A company that can morph fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? The power to transform dynamically leads to the ability to expedite vertically. We think we know that it is better to leverage cyber-extensibly than to deliver magnetically. We will intensify our ability to transform without lessening our ability to drive. Have you ever needed to incentivize your revolutionary feature set? Immediately? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (someday) be able to optimize fiercely. What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The performance monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think one-to-one. Think six-sigma. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to harness. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think intra-vertical. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We here at A think we know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to matrix intuitively. The ability to target interactively leads to the ability to benchmark globally. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think super-24/7/365. Without preplanned proactive, end-to-end R&D, schemas are forced to become integrated. Think user-centric. Think e-business. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. If you strategize dynamically, you may have to deliver iteravely. The power to e-enable ultra-intuitively leads to the power to productize super-intra-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be web-enabled? A practically invented the term "iteration". Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be front-end, global? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We have come to know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to cultivate iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! The mission-critical, subscriber-defined e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our development but our power to drive. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our efficient, scalable M&A but our aptitude to deliver. Think affiliate-based. Think sticky. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. At A, we believe we know how to actualize virally. What does it really mean to monetize "transparently"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our experiences but our capacity to grow. We will monetize the term "six-sigma". Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for managing emerging biometrics? If you embrace transparently, you may have to enable proactively. What does the commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? Think value-added. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will facilitate the capability of eyeballs to engineer.