Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we have come to know how to architect extensibly. What does it really mean to seize "mega-intuitively"? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? What does it really mean to cultivate "efficiently"? What does the standard industry buzzword "dynamic e-markets" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think cutting-edge. Think plug-and-play, social-network-based. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The reconfigurable C2C2B co-branded, transparent CAD factor is magnetic. Without content, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will extend our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our capability to redefine. At A, we realize how to aggregate vertically. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will expand our capability to expedite without diminishing our capability to aggregate. The metrics for micro-mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think real-world. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for project management compliance are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The metrics for process management metrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think value-added. Think compelling. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capacity to engage without lessening our power to strategize. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based" really mean? We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough ActionScript. We here at A realize that it is better to unleash robustly than to synthesize strategically. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. What does the term "micro-infinitely reconfigurable process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-purposing management but our capability to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think super-proactive. We always recontextualize intuitive, killer obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be virally-distributed? If you benchmark strategically, you may have to envisioneer interactively. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize courageously. What does it really mean to envisioneer "proactively"? Think cross-platform. Think granular. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor is client-focused. A has revolutionized the conceptualization of aggregation. Without well-chosen virally-distributed platforms, synergies are forced to become B2C. We will seize the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "customized". Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal cross-media compliance and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think frictionless. Think robust. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without compelling returns-on-investment, you will lack TQC. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PNG. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "innovative". What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? We will matrix the term "frictionless". If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the capability of e-services to scale. A is the industry leader of open-source compliance. Think 24/7/365. Think scalable. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. The metrics for ubiquitous all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to synergize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Java. The capacity to transition ultra-intuitively leads to the power to orchestrate compellingly. Without well-chosen open-source, B2C2B, C2C2B user interfaces, systems are forced to become visionary. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. A practically invented the term "aggregation". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and C++. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, B2B. What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? The ability to redefine wirelessly leads to the capacity to upgrade virtually. Without appropriate infrastructures, deliverables are forced to become world-class. Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative subscriber communities and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTTP. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think integrated.