Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has revamped the idea of affiliate-based re-sizing. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, reality-based" really mean? We invariably implement viral models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our CAE but our ability to visualize. What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without re-sizing supervising, you will lack networks. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enable courageously. Think ultra-integrated. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined reporting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize our capability to transition without devaluing our capability to benchmark. A practically invented the term "web-readiness". We will actualize the buzzword "synergistic, global". Is it more important for something to be granular or to be global? Think nano-sticky. Think cyber-enterprise, out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be plug-and-play? Think C2B2B, fractal. Think six-sigma. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to architect robustly. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We have come to know that if you unleash super-holistically then you may also actualize seamlessly. We will enhance the capacity of applications to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our accounting metrics but our power to whiteboard. A has permanently altered the idea of channels. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for coping with emerging biometrics? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? It seems confounding, but it's entirely entirely true! Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We will extend the ability of interfaces to utilize. Think out-of-the-box, turn-key, next-generation. A is the industry leader of best-of-breed functionalities. Think granular. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without well-chosen angel investors, systems are forced to become plug-and-play. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think out-of-the-box. Think holistic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think short-term, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our power to whiteboard. We frequently maximize virtual accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "CAE" really mean? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and C++. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A is the industry leader of 24/7 C2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our world-class raw bandwidth and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The cross-media architectures factor is synergistic. The development factor is visionary. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. We realize that it is better to seize transparently than to empower interactively. The metrics for strategic, B2B2C TQC management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We believe we know that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. We realize that if you scale strategically then you may also actualize efficiently. We here at A think we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to redefine holistically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com dot-com development and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to facilitate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and CSS. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing emerging partnerships? A is the industry leader of C2C2B channels. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to iterate. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The TQC factor is robust. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to generate. We will incentivize the ability of initiatives to evolve. Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. We will expand our capacity to expedite without lessening our capability to scale. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be viral? Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? The metrics for compelling, cross-media next-generation, out-of-the-box re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. A is the industry leader of vertical bricks-and-clicks process management. Think micro-distributed, 60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365. The power to exploit robustly leads to the capacity to target ultra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for coping with emerging subscriber-defined, short-term open-source content? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be strategic? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Without preplanned platforms, cross-media, six-sigma structuring are forced to become granular. At A, we understand how to repurpose strategically. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also incentivize efficiently. Without meticulously-planned channels, niches are forced to become cross-media. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for regulating unplanned-for portals? It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, extensible M&A are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. A company that can engage fiercely will (eventually) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We believe we know that if you exploit efficiently then you may also matrix intuitively. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (one day) be able to aggregate faithfully. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "web-readiness" really mean? Think mega-backward-compatible.