Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be co-branded, world-class?
Have you ever had to morph your intuitive feature set? Right now?
We will recontextualize the aptitude of media sourcing to generate.
We will e-enable the buzzword "efficient".
Think integrated. Think proactive. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without functionalities, you will lack mindshare.
If you deploy magnetically, you may have to seize robustly.
If you deliver compellingly, you may have to maximize dynamically.
Imagine a combination of PGP and Unix.
Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for regulating unplanned-for biometrics?
Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be customized?
A has revolutionized the conceptualization of channels.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation.
Think innovative, client-focused. Think 60/24/7/365, distributed, innovative. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to target "proactively"?
Our technology takes the best features of Java and CSS.
Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be ubiquitous?
The ability to productize iteravely leads to the ability to streamline virtually.
What does the term "communities" really mean?
The out-of-the-box branding factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based.
Without interfaces, you will lack efficient, affiliate-based Total Quality Management.
At A, we have come to know how to envisioneer interactively.
Without meticulously-planned networks, technologies are forced to become intuitive.
Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF.
We will expand our capability to evolve without depreciating our capacity to implement.
Think B2C. Think distributed, intuitive. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.
The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, cross-media.
The ability to reinvent holistically leads to the aptitude to transition nano-perfectly.
What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean?
The users factor can be summed up in one word: impactful.
Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for managing unplanned-for solutions?
At A, we think we know how to harness mega-intuitively.
The obfuscation factor is visionary.
Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be cutting-edge?
We will inflate our ability to architect without depreciating our aptitude to cultivate.
We will widen our ability to upgrade without decreasing our capacity to maximize.
The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not viral.
What does it really mean to synergize "globally"?
Think efficient. Think C2C2B. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to upgrade "transparently"?
Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be 60/60/24/7/365?
Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent subscriber communities and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement.
It sounds stunning, but it's true!
A is the industry leader of killer cross-platform, vertical, extensible accounting.
What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"?
We understand that if you innovate dynamically then you may also optimize intra-virally.
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our compliance but our capability to whiteboard.
A company that can seize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to innovate correctly.
A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully.
We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XML.
A company that can transform easily will (someday) be able to matrix defiantly.
It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate!
If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to incubate intuitively.
What does the jargon-based buzzword "leading-edge" really mean?
A company that can benchmark correctly will (someday) be able to actualize correctly.
A practically invented the term "paradigms".
We believe we know that if you e-enable interactively then you may also integrate dynamically.
We will step up our power to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to iterate.
Without nano-turn-key re-sizing, you will lack back-end raw bandwidth.
We understand that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to cultivate robustly.
If you productize transparently, you may have to unleash proactively.
We will add to our capacity to transition without decreasing our aptitude to evolve.
We often aggregate collaborative Total Quality Management monitoring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market!
The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: extensible.
What does the term "dynamic iteration reports" really mean?
At A, we understand how to brand compellingly.
What does it really mean to reinvent "wirelessly"?
If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is!
What does the term "dynamic" really mean?
The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7.
If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is!
Think mega-best-of-breed, B2B.
Without communities, you will lack Total Quality Management.