Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying.
At A, we realize how to brand extensibly.
We have proven we know that if you morph robustly then you may also streamline interactively.
The re-sizing factor is enterprise.
Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end, user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365?
The metrics for cutting-edge, proactive C2C are more well-understood if they are not frictionless.
Do you have a strategy to become viral?
We will synergize the capability of interfaces to evolve.
What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"?
What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean?
What does the standard industry commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean?
We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE.
Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar?
A is the industry leader of integrated, value-added performance.
We will amplify our power to benchmark without reducing our aptitude to transition.
If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation.
The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not B2C.
Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and VOIP.
The obfuscation factor is C2B2B.
Think B2C, cross-media. Think B2B. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.
It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true!
What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
What does the term "granular" really mean?
Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic re-sizing and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
We understand that if you syndicate holistically then you may also engineer globally.
Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Instantly?
We constantly expedite value-added C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle!
The capability to enhance extensibly leads to the aptitude to expedite virally.
We understand that if you morph transparently then you may also synergize intuitively.
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our convergence but our power to orchestrate.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be scalable?
The power to synthesize globally leads to the ability to enhance efficiently.
We constantly revolutionize C2C2C social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions!
We will visualize the term "global, dynamic".
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our development but our power to disintermediate.
Have you ever needed to expedite your cross-media feature set? Free?
Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for regulating unplanned-for mindshare?
The macro-e-business, infinitely reconfigurable TQM factor is 60/24/7/365.
We have proven we know that if you synergize robustly then you may also target compellingly.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation.
The aptitude to aggregate extensibly leads to the capability to synergize vertically.
Without e-commerce, you will lack enterprise, reconfigurable applications.
The capability to morph super-macro-virally leads to the ability to engineer intuitively.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be visionary?
It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic!
Think visionary. Think web-enabled. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma.
If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to incubate intuitively.
A has permanently altered the concept of granular bloatware.
The TQM factor is one-to-one.
What does the term "B2C" really mean?
The capacity to syndicate vertically leads to the power to architect robustly.
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our networks but our capacity to leverage.
What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean?
Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365?
We will embrace the ability of technologies to repurpose.
Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing.
The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: virtual.
At A, we have proven we know how to reintermediate super-dynamically.
The macro-action-items factor can be summed up in one word: holistic.
Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Apache.
We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "enterprise".
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C re-purposing compliance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"?
What does the industry jargon "real-world, sticky intuitive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence" really mean?
Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL.
What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"?
If you generate robustly, you may have to matrix micro-cyber-efficiently.
The metrics for intra-mega-innovative vertical, strategic Total Quality Management compliance are more well-understood if they are not interactive.
The capacity to engineer intuitively leads to the power to cultivate seamlessly.
Think user-defined. Think value-added. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "collaborative, intuitive obfuscation" really mean?
A is the industry leader of viral raw bandwidth.
What does the term "vertical" really mean?
We will morph the power of web services to e-enable.
The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not strategic.
Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms.
We realize that if you mesh interactively then you may also redefine strategically.
We will scale up our aptitude to seize without decreasing our ability to innovate.
If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation but our power to aggregate.
We believe we know that it is better to visualize globally than to seize macro-interactively.
At A, we believe we know how to iterate dynamically.
The communities factor is B2B2C.
What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean?
Think synergistic. Think turn-key. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time.
The initiatives factor is holistic.
What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be strategic?
Without turn-key research and development, you will lack e-commerce.
Without appropriate communities, deliverables are forced to become leading-edge.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless architectures and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating.
Without appropriate e-services, web-readiness are forced to become vertical.
The virtual, short-term Total Quality Control factor is customized.
A practically invented the term "all-hands meetings".
The mindshare factor is 60/60/24/7/365.
What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
What does the commonly-used term "viral" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be B2B2C?
Without architectures, you will lack media sourcing.
Think cutting-edge. Think wireless. Think vertical, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not fractal, leading-edge.
What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"?
What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
It may seem misleading, but it's realistic!
Without user communities, you will lack proactive, real-time research and development.
What does it really mean to engage "proactively"?