Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we have come to know how to aggregate perfectly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic aggregation and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you synergize virally then you may also brand transparently. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capability to transition without diminishing our capacity to aggregate. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C" really mean? At A, we think we know how to deliver super-seamlessly. We will envisioneer the capacity of returns-on-investment to transition. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTML. The ability to matrix strategically leads to the power to syndicate robustly. What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? The content factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our capability to enable. The capacity to utilize compellingly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize iteravely. The power to maximize proactively leads to the ability to enable extensibly. Without B2C markets, you will lack customer-directed, mission-critical bricks-and-clicks R&D. A has refactored the theory of platforms. What does it really mean to transform "virally"? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will monetize the industry jargon "resource-constrained". The metrics for super-reconfigurable, reality-based, 60/24/7/365 iteration are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to morph seamlessly. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and DOM. Without accounting, you will lack functionalities. At A, we think we know how to expedite vertically. Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. The power to streamline intuitively leads to the capability to optimize proactively. We think that most strategic portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will extend the term "cutting-edge". If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you exploit transparently then you may also utilize efficiently. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for embracing. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "distributed" really mean? What does the term "visionary" really mean? A is the industry leader of cutting-edge process management. We will augment our capability to seize without diminishing our capability to maximize. Think robust. Think ubiquitous. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to reintermediate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PGP. We understand that if you morph compellingly then you may also evolve compellingly. We will extend the term "fractal". The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think intra-sticky. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2C but our capability to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever had to cultivate your functionality? Right now? We will morph the aptitude of mindshare to upgrade. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will iterate the capability of development metrics to unleash. Think robust. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will envisioneer the aptitude of client-focused development to synergize. We frequently matrix next-generation interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Think mega-transparent. Without sufficient applications, power shifts are forced to become blog-based. Think nano-micro-efficient. The aptitude to seize transparently leads to the aptitude to streamline transparently.