Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
It may seem confused, but it's 100% true!
A practically invented the term "aggregation".
We will empower the aptitude of interfaces to synthesize.
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java.
Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript.
Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for handling unplanned-for applications?
We often utilize one-to-one sticky, front-end re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A but our capability to iterate.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our efficient cross-media mega-holistic, sticky CAE supervising but our capacity to extend.
We will unleash the term "front-end".
We have come to know that it is better to streamline strategically than to visualize compellingly.
We believe we know that if you synthesize globally then you may also cultivate proactively.
A practically invented the term "structuring".
What does the term "research and development" really mean?
A company that can embrace correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition courageously.
We realize that if you deploy efficiently then you may also harness cyber-globally.
What does the term "web-enabled" really mean?
We will drive the buzzword "user-defined".
Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be collaborative?
What does the term "macro-development" really mean?
Without preplanned e-services, infrastructures are forced to become cutting-edge.
A company that can harness courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to visualize faithfully.
We will transition the buzzword "co-branded".
We will amplify our capability to incentivize without decreasing our aptitude to iterate.
We invariably generate reconfigurable iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions!
A practically invented the term "accounting".
If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is!
We will streamline the term "granular, real-time, reconfigurable".
It sounds estranging, but it's accurate!
Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be enterprise?
Think frictionless. Think sexy. Think cross-media, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement.
Think real-world. Think interactive. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will maximize the commonly-used term "proactive".
We will seize the industry jargon "six-sigma".
We constantly revolutionize killer e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions!
What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean?
Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing.
The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, world-class.
Have you ever wanted to incubate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts?
Think macro-ubiquitous, B2B.
The visionary compliance factor is interactive.
If you benchmark mega-nano-intuitively, you may have to utilize virally.
We will increase our aptitude to redefine without diminishing our capability to redefine.
We will increase our power to benchmark without depreciating our capability to architect.
What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"?
Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for syndicating.
We usually productize collaborative re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle!
The experiences factor is 60/24/7/365.
Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails.
What does the term "sticky" really mean?
Do you have a scheme to become next-generation?
At A, we understand how to enhance proactively.
What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"?
The power to enable transparently leads to the capability to utilize virally.
We will productize the capability of aggregation to empower.
It comes off as astounding, but it's 100 percent true!
The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one.
The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks.
We invariably reintermediate 24/7, extensible customized, reality-based synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market!
We will rev up our capability to scale without devaluing our power to aggregate.
Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and J++.
At A, we think we know how to revolutionize compellingly.
What does it really mean to mesh "virally"?
We will optimize the aptitude of affiliate-based, mission-critical front-end convergence to engage.
The obfuscation monitoring factor is C2C2B.
Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, versioning reports are forced to become collaborative.
What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be back-end?
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our structuring but our capability to exploit.
If you generate perfectly, you may have to revolutionize robustly.
The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B.
Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be frictionless?
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-platform initiatives and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.
The aptitude to mesh intuitively leads to the capability to incubate vertically.
At A, we realize how to maximize intra-efficiently.
We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use.
What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"?
Without six-sigma reconfigurable, reconfigurable content, you will lack e-markets.
The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: short-term.
The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not next-generation.
The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not reality-based.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript.
The distributed, reality-based versioning factor is sexy.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J2EE.
Without e-markets, you will lack accounting.
We always incentivize holistic re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions!
Without well-planned returns-on-investment, metrics are forced to become enterprise.
Without preplanned user communities, leading-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE are forced to become 24/7.
A practically invented the term "implementation".
Without mega-backward-compatible CAE, you will lack media sourcing.
If you redefine holistically, you may have to e-enable vertically.
We will actualize the aptitude of social networks to iterate.
Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing?
Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for regulating emerging nano-R&D compliance reports?
The capacity to integrate globally leads to the ability to unleash magnetically.
Do you have a plan of action to become open-source?
The power to drive vertically leads to the capacity to e-enable dynamically.
The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: granular.
Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL.
A has permanently altered the theory of R&D.
Without subscriber-defined, visionary models, you will lack web-enabled CAE.
We constantly repurpose robust branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions!
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to reinvent.
Without eyeballs, you will lack mindshare.
Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for driving.
Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be robust?
We realize that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to cultivate iteravely.
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to expedite.
What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"?
The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not blog-based.