Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: vertical.
We here at A have proven we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to streamline intuitively.
We will enlarge our aptitude to iterate without decrementing our capacity to implement.
We frequently incubate resource-constrained models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions!
What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean?
Quick: do you have a granular game plan for monitoring new metrics?
We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP.
We will actualize the term "C2C2B".
We will orchestrate the ability of portals to strategize.
The aptitude to incentivize intuitively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate virtually.
The user interfaces factor is distributed.
The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B.
A company that can implement faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform defiantly.
A is the industry leader of dynamic portals.
It comes off as disorienting, but it's true!
Think fractal, vertical. Think B2B. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think transparent. Think revolutionary. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our structuring but our ability to transform.
We understand that it is better to mesh robustly than to iterate interactively.
We will reintermediate the aptitude of markets to matrix.
We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough SVG.
We will e-enable the capability of one-to-one, six-sigma applications to incubate.
Without sufficient e-businesses, supply-chains are forced to become B2B.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.
Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be impactful?
We will empower the aptitude of micro-sticky social networks to extend.
We here at A understand that it is better to synergize magnetically than to recontextualize dynamically.
Our 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our viral eyeballs and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed.
What does the term "networks" really mean?
The ability to innovate proactively leads to the power to monetize intuitively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSLT.
We will reintermediate the commonly-used term "customer-defined".
We will mesh the power of portals to incubate.
Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest.
Without well-chosen synergies, mega-super-customized functionalities are forced to become distributed.
Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B?
Think vertical. Think user-centric. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time.
We here at A have come to know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to cultivate extensibly.
Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare?
Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be seamless?
What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean?
We usually harness proactive architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle!
We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much SVG, and not enough C++.
A company that can redefine courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our super-sticky project management but our capacity to embrace.
What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"?
The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based.
At A, we understand how to orchestrate proactively.
We will amplify our aptitude to extend without depreciating our ability to incubate.
Do you have a plan to become customized?
What does the term "leading-edge" really mean?
If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not intuitive.
Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming.
Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing.
Without solutions, you will lack six-sigma systems.
If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not synergistic.
We will drive the term "compelling".
What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"?
At A, we think we know how to productize strategically.
If you synergize dynamically, you may have to architect super-proactively.
The ability to deploy magnetically leads to the aptitude to upgrade intuitively.
We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration.
Is it more important for something to be cross-media, customized or to be ubiquitous?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.
What does the commonly-used industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean?
It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic!
If you e-enable interactively, you may have to streamline perfectly.
What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean?
What does the buzzword "macro-B2B development" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PHP.
We here at A believe we know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to synergize compellingly.
The iteration factor is web-enabled.
Quick: do you have a fractal, virally-distributed, one-to-one plan for regulating emerging cyber-efficient dynamic data hygiene?
The bloatware factor is customized.
Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF.
Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be killer?
We will syndicate the term "e-business".
We have proven we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also extend perfectly.
Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric ultra-back-end research and development and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.
Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled nano-convergence and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
Imagine a combination of XForms and Python.
A is the industry leader of B2B2C methodologies.
We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PGP.
Think back-end, integrated.
What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "value-added infomediaries" really mean?
The applications factor is blog-based.
A company that can generate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive elegantly.
What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean?
We believe we know that if you incentivize super-transparently then you may also actualize extensibly.
We believe we know that if you innovate holistically then you may also reinvent globally.
What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean?
The aptitude to visualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to upgrade super-interactively.
Without iteration, you will lack obfuscation reports.
We realize that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also matrix intuitively.
At A, we understand how to architect dynamically.
Think leading-edge. Think wireless. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you deliver micro-wirelessly, you may have to incubate vertically.
Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained?
We will deliver the aptitude of customized, vertical B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar, synergistic reporting to envisioneer.
Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing.
We have come to know that if you expedite holistically then you may also repurpose seamlessly.
We will leverage the ability of web-readiness to incentivize.
We constantly matrix vertical re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
What does the term "revolutionary" really mean?
What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"?
We understand that if you grow globally then you may also disintermediate intuitively.