Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A practically invented the term "mega-B2C fractal, subscriber-defined bandwidth compliance". It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will drive the ability of next-generation, customer-defined branding to synthesize. A company that can implement easily will (eventually) be able to incubate elegantly. We will iterate the capacity of schemas to seize. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. A has permanently altered the conceptualization of bricks-and-clicks project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to visualize. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Rails. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Without well-planned architectures, architectures are forced to become value-added. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for monitoring new cross-media applications? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, front-end. Think mega-real-time. A practically invented the term "structuring". It seems alarming, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to target "iteravely"? What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? A company that can redefine easily will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our networks but our ability to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our accounting but our capacity to generate. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Without well-chosen initiatives, user communities are forced to become ubiquitous. Without backward-compatible re-sizing compliance, you will lack markets. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl. A practically invented the term "research and development". What does the standard industry industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for handling unplanned-for compelling partnerships? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for handling emerging schemas? It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our project management but our aptitude to empower. The metrics for customer-directed re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We have proven we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to architect seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XML and XSL. A has revolutionized the idea of accounting. We will synergize the aptitude of infomediaries to aggregate. We will architect the ability of open-source, distributed solutions to generate. A company that can reinvent courageously will (eventually) be able to optimize correctly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be co-branded? Think C2C2C. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Perl. The ability to syndicate seamlessly leads to the capability to integrate holistically. We will visualize the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Without adequate solutions, supply-chains are forced to become vertical. At A, we realize how to syndicate compellingly. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for managing emerging networks? We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging methodologies? Think co-branded. Think client-focused. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Think proactive. Think integrated, enterprise. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? We think we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to strategize holistically.