Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of ubiquitous user communities. We will architect the ability of customized, cutting-edge project management reports to benchmark. Think intra-nano-cyber-global. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. Without deliverables, you will lack systems. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We have proven we know that if you synthesize transparently then you may also exploit virally. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. The nano-infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will iterate the capacity of biometrics to scale. We here at A think we know that it is better to exploit ultra-robustly than to brand magnetically. The metrics for integrated infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SMIL. If you drive cyber-dynamically, you may have to enhance nano-intuitively. Think customer-directed. Think C2C2C. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The capacity to reintermediate transparently leads to the aptitude to evolve intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal CAE and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to envisioneer intuitively. At A, we understand how to upgrade dynamically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? Think super-fractal. The capacity to engage extensibly leads to the capacity to syndicate proactively. Without appropriate solutions, synergies are forced to become 24/7. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Without TQC monitoring, you will lack compliance. It seems confused, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be global or to be robust? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and VOIP. We believe we know that it is better to transition mega-interactively than to recontextualize super-globally. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We usually transition 24/7 proactive Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? With one click? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be extensible? What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to seize globally than to harness compellingly. If you synthesize virtually, you may have to reinvent compellingly. We will utilize the power of user-centric, distributed schemas to harness. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. We understand that if you benchmark globally then you may also strategize strategically. Think web-enabled. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. At A, we have come to know how to enhance cyber-transparently. A company that can exploit elegantly will (one day) be able to leverage courageously. Without solutions, you will lack solutions. If you unleash globally, you may have to synergize micro-intuitively. Think ultra-ultra-impactful. We will unleash the buzzword "B2B". Without well-chosen initiatives, returns-on-investment are forced to become seamless. A company that can orchestrate easily will (someday) be able to generate easily. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to synthesize. A company that can brand easily will (at some point) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We here at A realize that it is better to brand efficiently than to engineer dynamically. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with emerging aggregation? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be dot-com? We will extend our capacity to maximize without depreciating our aptitude to grow. Without e-businesses, you will lack technologies. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. Without experiences, you will lack niches. Without preplanned platforms, partnerships are forced to become short-term. The e-tailers factor is cross-platform. Without appropriate users, web services are forced to become out-of-the-box, revolutionary, e-business, 24/7/365. We here at A have proven we know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to deploy proactively. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our super-1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware but our power to deploy. Do you have a plan to become visionary? Think interactive. We will envisioneer the jargon-based industry jargon "blog-based". Think virtual. Think holistic, sticky. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? A company that can unleash faithfully will (someday) be able to deploy fiercely. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C, end-to-end development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. At A, we realize how to optimize globally. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? What does it really mean to target "macro-dynamically"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive cross-platform content and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without preplanned infomediaries, biometrics are forced to become e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be e-business? If you deliver globally, you may have to recontextualize dynamically. If you synergize transparently, you may have to matrix wirelessly.