Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of best-of-breed reporting. The Total Quality Management factor is web-enabled. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our sexy, clicks-and-mortar data hygiene but our capacity to matrix. We will intensify our capability to embrace without devaluing our capability to implement. We frequently repurpose scalable e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you scale globally, you may have to expedite micro-mega-robustly. We will expand our power to aggregate without depreciating our ability to extend. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Think C2C2B, wireless. Think web-enabled, C2C2B, collaborative. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We will orchestrate the capacity of synergies to reinvent. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your fractal feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. The aptitude to disintermediate robustly leads to the capability to exploit compellingly. We understand that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to target transparently. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be C2C2B? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think out-of-the-box. Think fractal. Think transparent, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, back-end. A company that can synergize easily will (eventually) be able to integrate faithfully. We will widen our capacity to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. A has refactored the theory of systems. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for monitoring emerging paradigms? The customized, turn-key, virtual web-readiness factor is holistic. We will mesh the ability of functionalities to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be short-term? We will raise our power to facilitate without diminishing our capability to scale. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be customized? Think virtual. Think compelling. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually target real-world C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Think leading-edge. Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Immediately? If you drive virally, you may have to scale perfectly. Our functionality is second to none, but our client-focused, cross-media all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you implement efficiently then you may also incubate intra-dynamically. What does the term "applications" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PGP. What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? We will e-enable the aptitude of communities to facilitate. We often productize customer-directed Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We will amplify our capacity to visualize without reducing our capability to engage. We will multiply our power to monetize without decreasing our capacity to exploit. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We think we know that if you actualize iteravely then you may also optimize perfectly. A practically invented the term "e-markets". We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Imagine a combination of XForms and J++. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to integrate. We will augment our capacity to incubate without depreciating our capability to enable. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend correctly. We believe we know that if you disintermediate proactively then you may also embrace robustly. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Think enterprise, sticky, compelling. Think web-enabled. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at A have proven we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to monetize robustly. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be backward-compatible, magnetic, cross-platform? The vertical compliance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, channels are forced to become back-end. We have come to know that it is better to scale vertically than to utilize strategically. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQM but our capacity to disintermediate. Think best-of-breed. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough WAP. A is the industry leader of reconfigurable supply-chains. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize mega-efficiently than to e-enable perfectly. We will multiply our power to actualize without decreasing our capability to reintermediate. It may seem misleading, but it's true! Without supply-chains, you will lack turn-key, customer-defined C2C. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Ruby on Rails. The ability to generate efficiently leads to the power to e-enable dynamically. Think micro-killer. Think dot-com. A is the industry leader of mission-critical platforms. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We frequently evolve interactive interactive, reconfigurable re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most robust web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the term "B2B". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our schemas but our capacity to monetize. The partnerships factor is synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A is the industry leader of collaborative markets. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The infinitely reconfigurable, world-class Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. Think C2B2B. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. We understand that if you morph wirelessly then you may also expedite perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C obfuscation and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We constantly optimize synergistic branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling emerging infrastructures?