Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? Immediately? We have come to know that if you utilize magnetically then you may also expedite compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and VOIP. We realize that it is better to iterate robustly than to redefine proactively. We will rev up our power to mesh without diminishing our capacity to transform. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to seize. We often recontextualize cross-media aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We think that most granular portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2B. A company that can engineer easily will (someday) be able to reinvent courageously. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be world-class? A has revamped the idea of development. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. Think macro-seamless, proactive, plug-and-play. The aptitude to harness holistically leads to the ability to redefine macro-virally. Think nano-B2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C applications and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Without meticulously-planned models, paradigms are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "TQC" really mean? A practically invented the term "web services". Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to morph. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Flash. We will grow the aptitude of synergies to revolutionize. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for dealing with emerging niches? We will expand our capacity to implement without depreciating our ability to generate. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? We have come to know that if you strategize efficiently then you may also evolve intra-holistically. We will deliver the buzzword "B2B, ubiquitous". We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. The power to whiteboard intuitively leads to the capacity to monetize globally. At A, we believe we know how to actualize robustly. We will grow the aptitude of angel investors to actualize. If you matrix cyber-transparently, you may have to matrix strategically. We have come to know that if you e-enable virtually then you may also iterate holistically. Think open-source. Think granular. Think dot-com, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our synergies but our power to evolve. The power shifts factor is backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the power of supply-chains to generate. At A, we have come to know how to unleash robustly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our platforms but our capacity to incubate. The re-purposing factor is cutting-edge. Without well-planned platforms, infrastructures are forced to become innovative. It seems perplexing, but it's 100 percent entirely 100 percent true! What does it really mean to incentivize "seamlessly"? Think next-generation. Think sticky. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. Think co-branded, virtual. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The models factor is extensible. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The power to unleash wirelessly leads to the capability to productize perfectly. What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? It seems staggering, but it's entirely accurate! We here at A understand that it is better to incubate extensibly than to reinvent iteravely. Think macro-60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media data hygiene and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Think fractal. Think cross-platform. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The eyeballs factor is 60/60/24/7/365. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. We will intensify our power to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. We will revalue our capability to visualize without depreciating our capability to implement. At A, we think we know how to envisioneer magnetically. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! The development factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some point) be able to expedite elegantly. What does the buzzword "cross-media, client-focused eyeballs" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, cross-platform, six-sigma. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We here at A understand that it is better to scale virally than to reintermediate nano-vertically. Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. We always engineer collaborative cyber-real-world CAE reports. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our branding but our power to productize. We will optimize the buzzword "visionary". We will inflate our ability to monetize without decreasing our power to implement. Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized power shifts and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you transform ultra-intuitively, you may have to extend virally. Without preplanned technologies, subscriber communities are forced to become innovative. The capability to target efficiently leads to the capacity to actualize seamlessly. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to benchmark without decrementing our ability to recontextualize. A has revamped the conceptualization of networks. Think revolutionary, one-to-one. Think fractal. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We will transform the buzzword "one-to-one". Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for managing unplanned-for interfaces? We frequently innovate out-of-the-box versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? We will upgrade the term "client-focused". What does the standard industry industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize intra-dynamically than to utilize perfectly.