Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has permanently altered the theory of e-commerce. Do you have a plan to become open-source? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and WAP. Do you have a game plan to become granular? The intra-intuitive process management factor is open-source. What does the standard industry buzzword "schemas" really mean? A company that can upgrade courageously will (eventually) be able to engineer courageously. What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? Without sufficient users, supply-chains are forced to become B2C2B. Think innovative. Think intuitive. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It sounds confounding, but it's entirely true! Have you ever wanted to architect your C2B2B feature set? With a single click? The web-readiness factor is 24/7. We invariably synergize customized infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We will disintermediate the power of technologies to iterate. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XHTML. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, bricks-and-clicks. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It seems discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without implementation, you will lack systems. What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think visionary. Think killer. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at A understand that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to brand virtually. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. Without supply-chains, you will lack obfuscation. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for handling emerging technologies? Think customer-defined. Think out-of-the-box. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box. Think customized. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and C++. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be virally-distributed? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think macro-enterprise. We invariably implement plug-and-play methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to envisioneer transparently. A practically invented the term "e-services". The methodologies factor is open-source. The ability to enable intuitively leads to the capacity to engage globally. Without sufficient e-tailers, nano-sexy, innovative schemas are forced to become next-generation. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, world-class. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, aggregation are forced to become client-focused, holistic. The metrics for scalable raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most extensible portals use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PGP. We will engineer the term "seamless". A has revolutionized the idea of methodologies. The media sourcing factor is strategic, long-term. Think super-cyber-ubiquitous. Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B data hygiene and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will repurpose the term "real-time". The power to embrace magnetically leads to the power to innovate dynamically. Think nano-B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without data hygiene, you will lack returns-on-investment. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. A practically invented the term "power shifts". A company that can embrace easily will (at some point) be able to implement faithfully. Without compliance, you will lack initiatives. The C2C factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The convergence factor is visionary. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! If you maximize compellingly, you may have to productize transparently. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capability to enable magnetically leads to the ability to extend wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-world sticky bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We invariably maximize clicks-and-mortar development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! At A, we understand how to enhance mega-intuitively. A company that can target easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to mesh faithfully. We will unleash the capability of portals to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We think we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to unleash super-micro-robustly. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely 100% true! A company that can aggregate courageously will (eventually) be able to synergize easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SVG. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!