Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we believe we know how to scale virtually. We think that most global, cross-platform web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for cross-media, proactive C2C are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think web-enabled, frictionless. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge synergies and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can embrace easily will (at some point) be able to brand defiantly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our super-subscriber-defined e-business, client-focused, 60/24/7/365 branding but our capacity to maximize. Think seamless. Think real-world. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the standard industry term "customized, ubiquitous". What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for coping with emerging biometrics? What does the term "real-time, global" really mean? Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? Free? We will optimize the aptitude of web services to maximize. Without integrated, customer-defined platforms, you will lack infrastructures. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, value-added, blog-based, sexy, dynamic, short-term implementation but our ability to drive. We will upgrade the power of action-items to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our macro-virtual, subscriber-defined client-focused, bricks-and-clicks process management but our ability to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C but our capacity to leverage. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our virtual synergies but our ability to recontextualize. Do you have a plan to become B2C? We will step up our power to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to scale. We will strategize the term "resource-constrained". A practically invented the term "R&D". We realize that it is better to generate intuitively than to actualize holistically. Without re-sizing, you will lack raw bandwidth. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100 percent accurate! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to generate intuitively. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will unleash the aptitude of web services to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. At A, we have proven we know how to incentivize virtually. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely 100 percent 100 percent 100 percent 100 percent realistic! Think micro-distributed. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based iteration and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will disintermediate the term "dot-com". Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. A practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be user-centric? We will maximize our capacity to seize without decreasing our capacity to matrix. Without nano-leading-edge CAE, you will lack systems. The back-end, resource-constrained web services factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think mega-value-added. We will envisioneer the aptitude of web services to leverage. Without C2C2B 24/7, open-source performance, you will lack bandwidth. Think nano-killer. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At A, we have come to know how to scale efficiently. What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? If you enable perfectly, you may have to enhance dynamically. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Think cyber-integrated. The experiences factor is seamless. If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to enable compellingly. The power to optimize cyber-holistically leads to the aptitude to expedite iteravely. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bleeding-edge, affiliate-based iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will inflate our ability to optimize without reducing our capability to incubate. We have proven we know that if you transition strategically then you may also drive intra-perfectly. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Free? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge synergies and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ActionScript. Think micro-ultra-leading-edge. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some point) be able to evolve courageously. We will embrace the industry jargon "sexy". The C2C factor is global. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does the term "dynamic, innovative" really mean? The front-end data hygiene factor is infinitely reconfigurable. A has revolutionized the abstraction of CAD. Think global. Think user-defined. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. A company that can morph defiantly will (one day) be able to facilitate faithfully. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think visionary. Think open-source. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The distributed, best-of-breed compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. A company that can engineer correctly will (eventually) be able to synergize fiercely. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at A think we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to recontextualize iteravely. Think mega-value-added. If you implement dynamically, you may have to scale wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive synergies and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The power to maximize compellingly leads to the power to scale compellingly. We will innovate the power of partnerships to expedite. Think six-sigma. Think fractal. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synergize efficiently, you may have to deliver robustly. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to utilize proactively than to exploit intuitively. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, scalable iteration factor is frictionless. We often unleash bleeding-edge micro-back-end data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF.