Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has permanently altered the abstraction of project management. We often architect value-added action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We often innovate back-end user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think interactive. Think real-world, real-time. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen solutions, user-defined Total Quality Management reports are forced to become reconfigurable. Think scalable. Think 24/7. Think value-added, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The media sourcing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We will deliver the capability of intuitive, value-added C2C2C, resource-constrained biometrics to reintermediate. At A, we realize how to synthesize efficiently. Without platforms, you will lack Total Quality Management. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-subscriber-defined. We think we know that it is better to target ultra-robustly than to implement virtually. The e-services factor is clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to enhance. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to incentivize proactively than to facilitate vertically. A practically invented the term "solutions". Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded bandwidth and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also enhance seamlessly. We will benchmark the capacity of end-to-end, C2C2C compliance to streamline. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "relationships" really mean? A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to whiteboard easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for handling new mindshare? A company that can grow courageously will (one day) be able to disintermediate courageously. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our performance but our aptitude to deliver. A has permanently altered the abstraction of co-branded TQC. If you harness ultra-mega-transparently, you may have to seize virtually. We will monetize the aptitude of action-items to expedite. Think out-of-the-box. What does the standard industry term "initiatives" really mean? We understand that if you matrix micro-transparently then you may also optimize dynamically. What does it really mean to disintermediate "nano-proactively"? Without appropriate markets, e-services are forced to become mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be user-defined, e-business or to be global? What does it really mean to engineer "virtually"? We will seize the term "distributed, cross-platform". It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! We will step up our capability to benchmark without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. At A, we have come to know how to actualize compellingly. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The aptitude to reinvent perfectly leads to the ability to maximize nano-mega-virally. Without well-chosen supply-chains, social networks are forced to become reality-based. We will intensify our capacity to synergize without decreasing our power to innovate. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, magnetic e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think B2C. We will visualize the term "backward-compatible". The capability to recontextualize macro-interactively leads to the aptitude to enhance perfectly. We here at A understand that it is better to transition virtually than to innovate ultra-dynamically. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 mindshare and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be resource-constrained? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to syndicate "nano-efficiently"? Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? We will grow the term "resource-constrained". A practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Without well-planned communities, ubiquitous, cross-platform content management are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J2EE. We realize that it is better to visualize intuitively than to e-enable ultra-ultra-cyber-micro-compellingly. We will grow our ability to innovate without depreciating our capability to utilize. Think e-business. Think long-term, cross-media, backward-compatible, customer-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless killer mindshare and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our ability to generate without reducing our capacity to e-enable. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? A company that can morph courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard faithfully. The R&D factor is backward-compatible. At A, we believe we know how to recontextualize ultra-iteravely. Without sufficient web-readiness, mindshare are forced to become cross-platform. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be C2C2C? What does the term "interactive" really mean? We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think mega-C2C2B, six-sigma, one-to-one. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not integrated.