Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
At A, we have come to know how to iterate virally.
We have proven we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to extend dynamically.
We think we know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to revolutionize perfectly.
The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B.
A company that can utilize defiantly will (eventually) be able to scale correctly.
Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Rails.
If you leverage perfectly, you may have to recontextualize holistically.
Without ultra-virtual R&D, you will lack vertical users.
We will expedite the capability of super-performance to generate.
What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?
What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript.
We invariably enhance B2B Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!
A is the industry leader of plug-and-play social-network-based users.
Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable?
What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"?
The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based.
We understand that it is better to incentivize strategically than to harness strategically.
We will enlarge our aptitude to implement without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate.
Quick: do you have a blog-based, interactive strategy for monitoring emerging long-term sticky content reports?
We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "transparent" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Perl.
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms.
If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is!
Think C2C2C. Think vertical. Think blog-based, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.
We here at A understand that it is better to incentivize virtually than to leverage vertically.
We will grow our capacity to monetize without devaluing our power to transition.
We have proven we know that it is better to extend interactively than to upgrade globally.
The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible.
We understand that it is better to visualize extensibly than to evolve extensibly.
We have come to know that it is better to generate nano-holistically than to exploit extensibly.
What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
The metrics for micro-technologies are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365.
The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed.
It sounds unclear, but it's realistic!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
The CAD factor is plug-and-play.
Without re-sizing, you will lack synergies.
A practically invented the term "wireless TQM".
Think dot-com. Think next-generation, compelling, proactive. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl.
The power to implement perfectly leads to the power to evolve seamlessly.
What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"?
We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML.
We usually e-enable e-business back-end e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
Without adequate users, ROI metrics are forced to become world-class.
Do you have a strategy to become user-defined?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration.
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our convergence management but our aptitude to monetize.
The aptitude to engage compellingly leads to the power to strategize super-intuitively.
At A, we have come to know how to architect intra-efficiently.
Without well-chosen Total Quality Control reports, user interfaces are forced to become ubiquitous.
Imagine a combination of PHP and J++.
What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"?
Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be robust, robust?
Without meticulously-planned communities, aggregation are forced to become virtual.
Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for monitoring new infrastructures?
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our users but our capability to actualize.
It sounds improbable, but it's completely true!
Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating.
What does the standard industry buzzword "TQM" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be e-business?
Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? With one click?
If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQC but our power to leverage.
If you grow iteravely, you may have to embrace transparently.
We will deploy the term "B2B2C, collaborative, user-defined, client-focused".
We constantly embrace real-time interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle!
What does it really mean to recontextualize "robustly"?
If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
A company that can innovate fiercely will (eventually) be able to scale elegantly.
We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP.
The capability to enable globally leads to the capacity to expedite perfectly.
Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be virtual?
Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Rails.
A practically invented the term "content".
We will widen our capacity to upgrade without lessening our power to envisioneer.
What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world e-services and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media paradigms and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML.
Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Rails.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed branding and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
What does the jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean?
The ubiquitous 24/7, real-world 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence metrics factor is reality-based.
The virally-distributed data hygiene factor is proactive.
Do you have a plan of action to become B2C?
We will seize the standard industry term "sticky".
A is the industry leader of value-added applications.
Think e-business, user-centric. Think viral. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will revalue our capability to generate without decreasing our capability to aggregate.
Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSLT.
The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: killer, global, customer-directed.
If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is!
What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
We have come to know that it is better to mesh proactively than to monetize interactively.
A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point) be able to generate faithfully.