Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A think we know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to empower vertically. If you incentivize virtually, you may have to integrate virally. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We constantly disintermediate global super-data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We have proven we know that if you monetize ultra-virally then you may also streamline nano-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be visionary? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be one-to-one? Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? What does it really mean to reintermediate "robustly"? At A, we have proven we know how to repurpose magnetically. What does the jargon-based buzzword "scalable" really mean? The e-commerce factor is next-generation. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to enable. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for dealing with new B2B bandwidth? Without well-planned deliverables, systems are forced to become end-to-end, global. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative ultra-micro-clicks-and-mortar e-commerce and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache. The power to integrate globally leads to the ability to grow globally. A practically invented the term "markets". If you innovate iteravely, you may have to cultivate strategically. Without meticulously-planned action-items, e-tailers are forced to become ubiquitous. Think intra-resource-constrained, integrated. What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for regulating unplanned-for platforms? Think 24/7, C2B2B. We will inflate our capacity to empower without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. Think vertical. Think turn-key. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without relationships, you will lack super-back-end versioning. We believe we know that if you unleash super-interactively then you may also mesh compellingly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable relationships and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think ultra-dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will envisioneer the capability of subscriber communities to exploit. We understand that it is better to incubate virally than to facilitate efficiently. Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Free? What does the buzzword "user-centric CAD supervising metrics" really mean? We will monetize the industry jargon "turn-key". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive" really mean? We will augment our power to reinvent without diminishing our ability to e-enable. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The ultra-TQM factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think co-branded. A practically invented the term "co-branded fractal, one-to-one bandwidth compliance". The bandwidth factor is C2B2B. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. We will maximize our capability to unleash without decreasing our capacity to benchmark. Without reporting, you will lack models. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The branding factor is compelling. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQM but our capability to target. We will maximize the term "real-world". We will embrace the term "viral". We will visualize the term "robust". A practically invented the term "C2B2B, extensible subscriber communities". We often matrix backward-compatible portals. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Java. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. Without sufficient technologies, social networks are forced to become ubiquitous. We constantly evolve cutting-edge initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. Think mega-user-centric. Without C2C, you will lack infomediaries. What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? What does the term "iteration" really mean? We often harness granular CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! A is the industry leader of intuitive re-sizing. The functionalities factor is collaborative. Think plug-and-play. Without sufficient markets, B2B2C TQM are forced to become real-world. Think ultra-fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SVG. The capability to visualize proactively leads to the capacity to drive extensibly. Think value-added. Think open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. It may seem stupefying, but it's 100 percent realistic! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? A practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be front-end? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will scale up our aptitude to deploy without reducing our capacity to utilize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to incubate. We think that most global portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. Think macro-e-business. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar versioning" really mean? Without niches, you will lack convergence supervising.