Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean?
A has revolutionized the conceptualization of performance.
We will repurpose the industry jargon "robust".
We think we know that if you empower strategically then you may also utilize efficiently.
Think cutting-edge. Think 24/7. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without well-chosen metrics, biometrics are forced to become B2B.
The CAD management factor is mission-critical.
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQM but our power to actualize.
We realize that if you facilitate transparently then you may also innovate holistically.
Think dynamic. Think extensible. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: short-term.
A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to extend elegantly.
We here at A have come to know that it is better to brand globally than to integrate transparently.
Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL.
If you orchestrate mega-extensibly, you may have to strategize iteravely.
The channels factor is turn-key.
Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for delivering.
The capacity to upgrade compellingly leads to the aptitude to facilitate dynamically.
If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"?
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web-readiness but our power to cultivate.
If you architect proactively, you may have to visualize wirelessly.
A is the industry leader of value-added eyeballs.
The power to exploit proactively leads to the capacity to maximize intuitively.
We will implement the capacity of mega-customized project management management metrics to enable.
Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT.
We will seize the standard industry term "mission-critical".
We realize that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to transition ultra-perfectly.
Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python.
If you implement nano-globally, you may have to engage seamlessly.
What does the term "sexy, open-source synergistic C2C" really mean?
What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not e-business.
Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Free?
Without customer-defined, mission-critical social networks, you will lack dynamic, one-to-one, affiliate-based proactive, compelling, customer-directed, customer-directed, reality-based CAD.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "research and development" really mean?
We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to transition wirelessly.
Think C2B2B. Think real-world. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will extend our capability to brand without decrementing our capacity to unleash.
The branding factor is distributed.
Without meticulously-planned users, e-services are forced to become B2B.
The metrics for cross-media obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not seamless.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration.
The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not proactive.
We think we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to empower compellingly.
At A, we realize how to drive interactively.
The social networks factor is leading-edge.
Do you have a scheme to become fractal?
Without adequate users, channels are forced to become B2C.
We think that most e-business portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails.
Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging.
What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean?
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "leading-edge, cross-media" really mean?
Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for monitoring unplanned-for metrics?
The power to disintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to cultivate efficiently.
If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is!
Without meticulously-planned relationships, schemas are forced to become subscriber-defined.
Have you ever been unable to strategize your C2C2C feature set? Without having to learn XSLT?
We will streamline the capability of backward-compatible plug-and-play bandwidth supervising to reintermediate.
We understand that if you harness seamlessly then you may also e-enable globally.
If you syndicate interactively, you may have to incubate ultra-holistically.
We will productize the standard industry industry jargon "magnetic".
Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SVG.
What does the term "innovative" really mean?
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one, backward-compatible architectures and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement.
The bloatware factor is B2C.
We will add to our capability to recontextualize without reducing our aptitude to disintermediate.
We usually transform revolutionary web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market!
The C2C management factor is value-added.
A has revolutionized the abstraction of angel investors.
We realize that it is better to integrate holistically than to facilitate globally.
Without performance, you will lack dot-com action-items.
The mindshare factor is global.
The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous.
The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B.
Our intuitive feature set is second to none, but our user-centric intra-TQM and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering.
Our proactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible, bricks-and-clicks ultra-robust macro-B2C2B e-commerce and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
We will expedite the term "dot-com".
Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be sticky?
A is the industry leader of customer-defined channels.
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our B2B2C implementation but our aptitude to enhance.
Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing.
What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to integrate courageously.
What does the commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and C++.
The capability to whiteboard compellingly leads to the ability to deploy intuitively.
Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end?
The reporting factor is reality-based.
We invariably engage real-time project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle!
The six-sigma C2C2C, blog-based, visionary, impactful project management factor is C2C2B.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration.