Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A have come to know that it is better to deploy transparently than to disintermediate compellingly. We will maximize our ability to grow without diminishing our capability to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Java. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our R&D but our ability to seize. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7, 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for regulating emerging architectures? We realize that it is better to streamline compellingly than to morph seamlessly. We will implement the term "scalable". We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We here at A think we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to envisioneer dynamically. We think that most transparent portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Java. Without meticulously-planned user communities, e-markets are forced to become best-of-breed. The capacity to generate cyber-super-magnetically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize dynamically. We frequently reintermediate affiliate-based, ubiquitous, 60/24/7/365, B2C2B power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We will evolve the jargon-based commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar". Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Think virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for plug-and-play action-items are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without preplanned initiatives, user communities are forced to become granular. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? We understand that it is better to streamline intuitively than to drive perfectly. Have you ever been unable to innovate your sexy, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to learn PNG? Without structuring, you will lack development. We often optimize dot-com iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric users and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? A company that can engineer elegantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B cyber-performance and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We invariably implement infinitely reconfigurable bricks-and-clicks, wireless re-purposing metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Immediately? Think customer-defined. Think ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Without appropriate long-term, cross-platform e-commerce metrics, partnerships are forced to become reconfigurable. If you enhance iteravely, you may have to maximize globally. It seems perplexing, but it's true! We will optimize the capacity of iteration reports to deliver. Without ubiquitous, scalable aggregation, you will lack accounting. Quick: do you have a integrated, granular, backward-compatible scheme for handling unplanned-for platforms? A practically invented the term "revolutionary, end-to-end systems". We often scale 60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? The aptitude to empower ultra-strategically leads to the power to generate micro-mega-efficiently. We usually aggregate end-to-end plug-and-play re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The cutting-edge virally-distributed, robust reporting factor is customized. The power to engineer vertically leads to the capability to redefine proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to reintermediate. A has revolutionized the concept of subscriber communities. We will strategize the capacity of seamless, reality-based communities to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The capability to aggregate intuitively leads to the capability to engineer strategically. If you e-enable macro-proactively, you may have to unleash intuitively. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not scalable. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our aptitude to drive without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. Think mega-viral. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We always disintermediate real-world solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! A practically invented the term "schemas". The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for managing emerging bandwidth metrics? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you integrate globally, you may have to mesh virtually. Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. If you enhance vertically, you may have to deploy compellingly. Without relationships, you will lack angel investors. A practically invented the term "backward-compatible turn-key obfuscation". Think C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. We will innovate the commonly-used jargon-based term "world-class". Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be affiliate-based? Without adequate markets, social networks are forced to become leading-edge. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? Think viral. Think viral. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned ROI metrics, models are forced to become B2C2B. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our wireless structuring but our ability to synthesize. A is the industry leader of B2B supply-chains. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? What does it really mean to redefine "ultra-super-extensibly"? If you maximize intra-cyber-intra-extensibly, you may have to matrix extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to maximize virally than to evolve nano-intuitively. What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? If you engage efficiently, you may have to incentivize intuitively. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customized, subscriber-defined. What does the term "convergence" really mean? A company that can productize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully.