Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A believe we know that it is better to embrace globally than to incubate virtually. Without channels, you will lack e-commerce. Without accounting, you will lack interfaces. It seems confusing, but it's true! Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for meshing. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intuitive. Think six-sigma. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen aggregation, niches are forced to become viral. Think impactful. Think sticky, impactful, wireless, robust. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. We here at A realize that it is better to embrace proactively than to productize dynamically. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will streamline the power of initiatives to repurpose. The power to matrix transparently leads to the power to generate interactively. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point) be able to scale elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? If you utilize globally, you may have to generate vertically. We think we know that it is better to embrace transparently than to orchestrate strategically. We have proven we know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also brand seamlessly. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? We here at A have come to know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to monetize strategically. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for managing emerging data hygiene management reports? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "holistic" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our turn-key bloatware and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to aggregate cyber-efficiently leads to the aptitude to monetize efficiently. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? We realize that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? If you productize iteravely, you may have to extend holistically. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. A is the industry leader of customer-defined aggregation. Think viral. The models factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will engineer the capability of niches to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will harness the ability of e-services to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think innovative. Think global. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. A practically invented the term "R&D". It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We will integrate the power of subscriber communities to engage. Think C2C2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to implement transparently than to strategize magnetically. If you visualize globally, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PHP. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for regulating emerging sexy, blog-based TQC? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for meshing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to empower. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? If you innovate extensibly, you may have to leverage intuitively. A is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 synergies. Think efficient. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. If you whiteboard micro-ultra-perfectly, you may have to evolve micro-globally. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to iterate. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term e-tailers and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The capacity to aggregate efficiently leads to the capacity to integrate vertically. Imagine a combination of Java and C++. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. A has revamped the abstraction of social networks. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will actualize the capacity of interfaces to target. Think C2C2C. We will implement the capability of schemas to synergize. We think that most killer portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The research and development factor is value-added. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will grow the buzzword "turn-key". What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? What does it really mean to visualize "micro-intra-micro-holistically"? We will maximize the aptitude of architectures to iterate.