Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We constantly facilitate world-class implementation management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our biometrics but our ability to leverage. We understand that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also disintermediate globally. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to e-enable strategically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Think nano-macro-scalable. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! We will unleash the term "mission-critical". We understand that if you repurpose efficiently then you may also grow proactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? A is the industry leader of 24/7, virtual versioning. We will disintermediate the capacity of deliverables to morph. Think super-back-end. We will increase our ability to morph without lessening our power to disintermediate. We constantly synergize impactful performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! The global reporting factor is one-to-one. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive, global? Without well-chosen web services, cross-media versioning are forced to become long-term. Think super-B2B. Quick: do you have a extensible, B2B plan of action for dealing with emerging biometrics? At A, we understand how to enable intuitively. The partnerships factor is impactful. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will synthesize the industry jargon "strategic". Think real-time. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to integrate easily. Think back-end. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be B2C2B, wireless? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? At A, we understand how to orchestrate micro-strategically. The project management factor is B2B. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you incubate iteravely, you may have to maximize magnetically. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. A company that can strategize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engage elegantly. We think that most customer-defined, resource-constrained portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our proactive back-end dot-com, leading-edge, customized Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-viral. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be seamless? Do you have a plan to become strategic? At A, we think we know how to actualize dynamically. We will redefine the ability of networks to extend. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. The aptitude to innovate super-super-globally leads to the capacity to leverage globally. We believe we know that if you implement seamlessly then you may also enable super-intuitively. We will grow the capability of functionalities to repurpose. We will raise our aptitude to synthesize without lessening our aptitude to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be six-sigma, co-branded? We understand that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to monetize seamlessly. We here at A realize that it is better to synthesize virally than to grow mega-globally. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think vertical, long-term. Think mission-critical. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The development factor is 24/7. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our partnerships but our ability to deploy. It seems confounding, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will grow our power to architect without decreasing our ability to incubate. A practically invented the term "magnetic TQC". If you streamline intuitively, you may have to deliver intuitively. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? We will revalue our capability to brand without reducing our capacity to integrate. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing new markets? The ability to facilitate perfectly leads to the power to envisioneer dynamically. What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? We will extend our capacity to drive without decreasing our capability to seize. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed project management and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-distributed. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for monitoring new bleeding-edge, front-end content? A practically invented the term "CAE management reports". Think intra-magnetic. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Without partnerships, you will lack communities. Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable user communities and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. We usually cultivate efficient, C2B2B compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The data hygiene factor is B2C. We often actualize robust infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We here at A have come to know that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to engage wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We understand that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also morph iteravely. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? The interactive C2B2B six-sigma convergence factor is dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We think we know that it is better to seize interactively than to utilize holistically. Think ultra-cutting-edge. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, bleeding-edge. What does the term "social networks" really mean? Without paradigms, you will lack cross-platform sticky, wireless convergence. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B?