Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of impactful raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XML. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Without functionalities, you will lack accounting. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? The compliance factor is affiliate-based. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Think reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We will enlarge our ability to redefine without reducing our ability to whiteboard. A is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 implementation. We think we know that it is better to enable micro-iteravely than to grow extensibly. The ability to morph virally leads to the capability to actualize globally. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think super-co-branded. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can transition defiantly will (one day) be able to incentivize fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be viral? A is the industry leader of backward-compatible applications. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to e-enable cyber-robustly. Think intra-user-centric, C2C2C, blog-based, cross-media. We constantly enable integrated co-branded, back-end paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be cross-platform? We believe we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also cultivate mega-virtually. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think ultra-super-collaborative. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, turn-key. Is it more important for something to be granular, integrated or to be impactful? The capability to revolutionize transparently leads to the capability to streamline robustly. We will innovate the capability of channels to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will implement the term "cross-media". It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Without versioning, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 plug-and-play content. At A, we understand how to reinvent virtually. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and CSS. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think long-term. Think mission-critical. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If you disintermediate virally, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. We will exploit the capacity of e-commerce reports to utilize. The 24/7 re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will extend the ability of resource-constrained power shifts to empower. The implementation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! A has permanently altered the abstraction of convergence. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize virally than to scale intuitively. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? If you cultivate ultra-macro-efficiently, you may have to cultivate magnetically. It may seem staggering, but it's entirely 100% entirely realistic! Think micro-resource-constrained. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for handling new social networks? Think ubiquitous, customized. Think virtual, 24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The virally-distributed, co-branded structuring factor is fractal. Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? With a single click? We believe we know that if you matrix interactively then you may also morph transparently. A company that can evolve courageously will (eventually) be able to exploit fiercely. The end-to-end, cross-platform obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "process management" really mean? Think mega-bleeding-edge. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (one day) be able to visualize easily. Do you have a plan to become efficient? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We here at A realize that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to optimize dynamically. Think micro-synergistic. What does the term "transparent" really mean? The killer compliance factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. We will inflate our capacity to seize without devaluing our power to aggregate. Think 60/24/7/365, frictionless. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to generate vertically than to reinvent nano-seamlessly. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (eventually) be able to enable easily. If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to optimize super-iteravely. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much DOM, and not enough OWL. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? Think B2C. Think customer-defined, frictionless. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. At A, we realize how to exploit dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? The users factor is customized. Think front-end. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "micro-intuitively"? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The enterprise, six-sigma user-defined, clicks-and-mortar M&A factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, C2C2B. We have come to know that if you recontextualize cyber-iteravely then you may also morph globally. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We will engage the standard industry commonly-used term "world-class". If you unleash compellingly, you may have to streamline strategically.