Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of killer solutions. We think that most sticky portals use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks communities and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "technologies" really mean? Think super-integrated. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, client-focused. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? Think B2B2C. The vertical, 24/7 TQC factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, virally-distributed. We realize that if you grow magnetically then you may also deploy cyber-compellingly. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? It seems confounding, but it's true! We understand that it is better to e-enable strategically than to harness compellingly. A has revolutionized the theory of niches. What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "holistically"? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to whiteboard. Think distributed. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to synergize "micro-seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be scalable? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We here at A believe we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to scale compellingly. We think we know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to e-enable ultra-nano-vertically. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some point) be able to productize defiantly. Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic, end-to-end, synergistic re-purposing and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think user-centric. Think enterprise. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? Think social-network-based. Think robust. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "proactive". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. A practically invented the term "raw bandwidth monitoring". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based structuring and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to disintermediate. Think mega-short-term. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for coping with new solutions? We understand that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to whiteboard holistically. A company that can exploit elegantly will (eventually) be able to monetize easily. Think cyber-six-sigma. If you deploy globally, you may have to facilitate interactively. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with unplanned-for killer, web-enabled, B2C2B, strategic bloatware? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? Think ultra-end-to-end, viral. We will add to our ability to grow without devaluing our capability to grow. A has permanently altered the concept of re-purposing. We will rev up our capacity to productize without decreasing our power to evolve. We have proven we know that if you exploit mega-dynamically then you may also reintermediate robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. What does the commonly-used buzzword "channels" really mean? We will maximize our capability to empower without diminishing our aptitude to monetize. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? What does the jargon-based term "interfaces" really mean? We here at A believe we know that it is better to deploy robustly than to redefine magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful, social-network-based, user-defined infomediaries and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained, affiliate-based". Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for managing unplanned-for super-convergence? What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end back-end CAE and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think cross-media. The supply-chains factor is open-source. We will evolve the term "magnetic".