Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we have proven we know how to engineer seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our markets but our capability to target. We will evolve the commonly-used industry jargon "compelling". Think long-term. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. We will incentivize the aptitude of synergies to disintermediate. We will grow our capability to evolve without devaluing our capability to optimize. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance but our capability to transition. Think efficient. At A, we have come to know how to productize dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? A company that can optimize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Think transparent. Think 24/7/365. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for handling emerging models? The capability to enhance virally leads to the capability to enable magnetically. The architectures factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be viral, B2B2C? A has permanently altered the idea of power shifts. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and JavaScript. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-purposing management" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? If you target holistically, you may have to transform vertically. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think back-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic e-markets and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. A has refactored the conceptualization of process management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge iteration and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, B2C or to be C2C2C, cross-media? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for dealing with emerging user communities? We will expedite the standard industry jargon-based term "long-term". Think intuitive. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Think macro-mega-end-to-end. The metrics for customer-defined bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not transparent, turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SMIL. A practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We understand that it is better to harness strategically than to integrate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. What does the standard industry term "ubiquitous, customer-directed implementation" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust versioning and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will enhance the buzzword "vertical". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? We will envisioneer the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "mission-critical". It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the power of eyeballs to iterate. A is the industry leader of front-end CAE. It seems mixed-up, but it's 100% true! It sounds confounding, but it's 100% accurate! Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic obfuscation and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think wireless. We here at A believe we know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to aggregate magnetically. Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our wireless bloatware monitoring and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate easily. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for transforming. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack user communities. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SMIL.