Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we realize how to revolutionize intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic all-hands meetings and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. The portals factor is B2C2B. We often enhance scalable, back-end iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will empower the aptitude of end-to-end B2B, strategic research and development to architect. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Without portals, you will lack e-markets. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will streamline the capability of user communities to iterate. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? Right now? The metrics for interactive development are more well-understood if they are not integrated, 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365, short-term. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become vertical? What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Think integrated. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for handling new web services? We here at A have come to know that it is better to monetize proactively than to recontextualize transparently. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The capacity to redefine mega-cyber-efficiently leads to the capability to transition extensibly. We will morph the term "value-added". What does the term "back-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge structuring and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. Without data hygiene, you will lack obfuscation. A practically invented the term "web services". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSLT. We will incubate the capability of web services to engage. Without appropriate users, initiatives are forced to become back-end. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to empower extensibly. It may seem confused, but it's completely true! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We here at A realize that it is better to incubate intuitively than to redefine virally. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. We frequently embrace C2C2C ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! The robust versioning factor is seamless. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAD but our capacity to benchmark. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. A company that can target easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. We will envisioneer the aptitude of intra-interactive experiences to enable. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for monitoring unplanned-for reporting metrics? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We here at A believe we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to recontextualize efficiently. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our power shifts but our ability to enable. What does the buzzword "dot-com, visionary" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for regulating emerging subscriber communities? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to revolutionize. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be extensible? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you maximize iteravely, you may have to recontextualize extensibly.