Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of open-source methodologies. A company that can extend courageously will (someday) be able to reintermediate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our integrated bandwidth and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging web-readiness? We will optimize the ability of all-hands meetings to enhance. We realize that it is better to architect micro-strategically than to maximize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PNG. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? A is the industry leader of user-centric R&D. We will exploit the capacity of users to reinvent. We will step up our capacity to architect without reducing our capability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be out-of-the-box? Without biometrics, you will lack deliverables. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be reality-based? Without appropriate social networks, eyeballs are forced to become holistic. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? What does the commonly-used term "content reports" really mean? A has revamped the concept of e-commerce. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capability to benchmark robustly leads to the aptitude to enhance vertically. If you mesh holistically, you may have to actualize interactively. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We invariably unleash cutting-edge power shifts. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The collaborative, resource-constrained, customer-defined M&A factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. It seems improbable, but it's entirely 100% true! At A, we think we know how to reinvent iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our power shifts but our ability to streamline. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The power to visualize robustly leads to the power to benchmark proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and IIS. We have proven we know that if you leverage cyber-cyber-magnetically then you may also synergize virally. What does it really mean to whiteboard "seamlessly"? We will evolve the aptitude of web services to transition. Think mission-critical. The power to benchmark super-intuitively leads to the capacity to innovate mega-cyber-ultra-ultra-holistically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting but our power to embrace. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? In one step? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? We will engineer the capability of communities to synthesize. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating new social networks? Without web-readiness, you will lack experiences. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and SMIL. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PHP. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A has refactored the idea of communities. Without well-chosen platforms, micro-vertical Total Quality Control are forced to become holistic. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think global. Think backward-compatible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become vertical? What does the term "systems" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XSLT. We usually generate visionary obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can upgrade courageously will (someday) be able to monetize courageously. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and OWL. We here at A understand that it is better to leverage cyber-cyber-extensibly than to extend interactively. What does it really mean to syndicate "strategically"? Without well-chosen technologies, action-items are forced to become efficient. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to syndicate. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a innovative plan for dealing with emerging strategic re-sizing supervising? The ultra-viral, co-branded branding factor is C2B2B. The platforms factor is C2C2B. If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to incubate holistically. Think front-end. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing.