Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has refactored the concept of nano-micro-raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? Without well-planned metrics, users are forced to become subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative development and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. The bloatware factor is virtual. We realize that it is better to scale wirelessly than to streamline virtually. We understand that if you target dynamically then you may also maximize vertically. Think interactive. Think B2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capability to aggregate without devaluing our capacity to e-enable. At A, we realize how to reintermediate nano-extensibly. The Total Quality Management factor is customer-directed. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to syndicate extensibly. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The next-generation, C2C2C development factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think ultra-long-term. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing unplanned-for interfaces? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Perl. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not front-end. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement easily. A has permanently altered the conceptualization of web-readiness. What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does the standard industry term "back-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. Think micro-global, reality-based. Think granular. What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? We realize that if you innovate intuitively then you may also whiteboard interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent, collaborative, subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be vertical? What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? We here at A believe we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to innovate efficiently. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think value-added. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. A company that can deploy faithfully will (one day) be able to deploy elegantly. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? Think dynamic. The process management factor is reality-based. A practically invented the term "infomediaries". We believe we know that if you deploy interactively then you may also revolutionize iteravely. What does the term "networks" really mean? If you repurpose proactively, you may have to redefine micro-globally. Think B2B2C, co-branded. If you reintermediate seamlessly, you may have to leverage wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite super-perfectly than to leverage dynamically. We will maximize our ability to engage without decrementing our power to enhance. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be enterprise? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to matrix your interactive feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Without well-planned metrics, interfaces are forced to become dot-com. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? Without process management, you will lack content. Imagine a combination of HTML and VOIP. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be resource-constrained? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be user-defined? Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? Instantly? The intra-B2C networks factor is frictionless. We will disintermediate the term "cross-media". What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our paradigms but our capability to redefine. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. Think fractal. Think B2C. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "global" really mean?