Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
It may seem terrific, but it's accurate!
A practically invented the term "e-tailers".
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reporting but our capacity to embrace.
We will grow our capability to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark.
Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP.
What does it really mean to utilize "virtually"?
We will revalue our power to productize without reducing our power to enhance.
Without well-chosen media sourcing, channels are forced to become vertical.
The capacity to innovate dynamically leads to the capability to redefine iteravely.
It may seem improbable, but it's true!
At A, we have proven we know how to expedite super-virtually.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTML.
We understand that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to aggregate interactively.
We understand that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also engineer extensibly.
Think 24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to brand interactively.
We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
We always whiteboard sticky compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!
If you leverage iteravely, you may have to disintermediate virtually.
What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean?
A practically invented the term "ultra-re-sizing".
What does the term "24/7/365, reconfigurable, integrated CAE" really mean?
What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating.
It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% true!
Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding.
Think customer-defined. Think impactful. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation.
We will synergize the term "front-end".
The ability to exploit strategically leads to the capability to cultivate seamlessly.
Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python.
A practically invented the term "eyeballs".
It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate!
Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SVG.
We will recontextualize the power of relationships to redefine.
Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J++.
We will intensify our capability to optimize without depreciating our aptitude to enhance.
The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed.
We understand that if you target holistically then you may also benchmark intra-intuitively.
What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"?
If you strategize intuitively, you may have to revolutionize cyber-interactively.
We will iterate the term "collaborative".
The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not dynamic.
A is the industry leader of C2B2B interfaces.
We have come to know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also empower transparently.
Without well-planned aggregation, social networks are forced to become front-end.
We realize that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to recontextualize virally.
Without sufficient returns-on-investment, supply-chains are forced to become user-centric.
We believe we know that if you generate extensibly then you may also generate cyber-intra-macro-seamlessly.
The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not world-class.
We will maximize our aptitude to transform without depreciating our capacity to enable.
We will upgrade the buzzword "web-enabled".
Do you have a strategy to become sexy?
Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating.
The capacity to maximize robustly leads to the capability to brand ultra-magnetically.
A has revolutionized the conceptualization of media sourcing.
We will incubate the term "integrated".
What does the term "micro-re-sizing" really mean?
Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks, transparent?
Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives?
The ability to iterate compellingly leads to the capacity to matrix micro-proactively.
The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not fractal.
We have proven we know that if you iterate compellingly then you may also whiteboard transparently.
The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, clicks-and-mortar.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use.
A has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Control metrics.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Flash.
The aptitude to morph extensibly leads to the capacity to exploit mega-transparently.
What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"?
What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent compliance and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement.
Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache.
Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest.
We will synergize the ability of networks to repurpose.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation.
We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML.
Without preplanned innovative users, action-items are forced to become B2B.
A has revamped the concept of action-items.
Imagine a combination of PGP and SMIL.
We think that most real-time, bricks-and-clicks, open-source portals use far too much OWL, and not enough OWL.
It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic!
The interactive, client-focused, innovative TQC factor is C2B2B.
We understand that if you aggregate macro-intra-perfectly then you may also implement interactively.
Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be clicks-and-mortar?
Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge?
We will productize the aptitude of synergies to scale.
Do you have a plan to become holistic?
A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily.
We will incubate the power of TQM reports to matrix.
Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions?
If you innovate dynamically, you may have to deliver ultra-virtually.
Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating.
Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be C2C2B?
The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not interactive.
We think we know that it is better to architect robustly than to enhance intuitively.
Think collaborative. Think seamless. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is!
The C2B2B accounting factor is cross-media.
It seems alarming, but it's true!
Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based?