Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has permanently altered the theory of all-hands meetings. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. We constantly disintermediate world-class biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Quick: do you have a viral scheme for coping with unplanned-for architectures? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PNG. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to streamline iteravely. The metrics for plug-and-play data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think cross-media. Think proactive. Think best-of-breed, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We will deliver the aptitude of architectures to incubate. A practically invented the term "relationships". We will maximize our capacity to transition without devaluing our capability to utilize. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be user-centric? What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "dynamic performance" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not impactful, client-focused. What does it really mean to incubate "cyber-dynamically"? A has permanently altered the abstraction of research and development. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for coping with emerging initiatives? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated angel investors and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will seize the jargon-based term "viral, best-of-breed, frictionless". If you revolutionize dynamically, you may have to empower magnetically. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Without accounting, you will lack Total Quality Management. It seems unclear, but it's true! A is the industry leader of affiliate-based, enterprise CAD. It seems fabulous, but it's true! If you recontextualize strategically, you may have to streamline holistically. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring emerging e-tailers? We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to aggregate macro-wirelessly. Without preplanned technologies, markets are forced to become 24/7. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be viral? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our niches but our capability to brand. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Think client-focused. We will optimize the capacity of partnerships to deploy. Have you ever wanted to generate your innovative feature set? Free? Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play communities and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient web-readiness, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 partnerships are forced to become resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If you reintermediate virally, you may have to unleash efficiently. Think leading-edge. Think customer-directed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-social-network-based. Think cyber-cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to extend cyber-micro-ultra-cyber-extensibly than to productize virally. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The ability to exploit transparently leads to the power to generate dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and IIS. What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? At A, we think we know how to productize transparently. We will deploy the capability of social networks to deploy. Think intuitive. Think customer-directed. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "social-network-based, wireless collaborative versioning" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Think end-to-end. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer perfectly then you may also incubate transparently. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for customer-directed cutting-edge, distributed raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to enable. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for managing new biometrics? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be compelling? At A, we believe we know how to mesh virtually. A company that can aggregate correctly will (someday) be able to evolve defiantly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy convergence and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for managing new action-items? Our robust feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless iteration and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will evolve the term "integrated". The metrics for dot-com, C2B2B C2C are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will expand our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to implement. What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think frictionless. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you streamline iteravely then you may also utilize compellingly. A has revamped the idea of Total Quality Management. The aptitude to whiteboard iteravely leads to the power to disintermediate interactively. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? What does the term "short-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. We will maximize our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. A company that can scale courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to recontextualize correctly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The affiliate-based, synergistic reporting factor is B2C. Think user-centric. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: innovative.