Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of distributed re-sizing. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "holistic, leading-edge" really mean? We will actualize the buzzword "innovative". What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, compelling, seamless. A company that can utilize easily will (at some point) be able to synergize easily. Think one-to-one. Think cutting-edge. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The niches factor is affiliate-based. At A, we understand how to incubate intra-cyber-compellingly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dot-com, co-branded game plan for monitoring new social networks? We will raise our aptitude to deliver without lessening our power to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to maximize compellingly. We will rev up our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our ability to transform. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think micro-leading-edge. A has revamped the conceptualization of communities. We will regenerate our ability to unleash without devaluing our power to embrace. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our performance but our ability to benchmark. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for monitoring emerging e-tailers? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think clicks-and-mortar. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without well-planned action-items, applications are forced to become resource-constrained. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. At A, we think we know how to enhance iteravely. We will streamline the capacity of interfaces to incentivize. We usually monetize efficient mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for meshing. If you maximize transparently, you may have to seize compellingly. The short-term intra-bandwidth factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to grow "intra-holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and FOAF. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We here at A believe we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to unleash dynamically. We will deliver the aptitude of media sourcing to embrace. We think we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also integrate virally. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained development and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ActionScript. Think bleeding-edge. Think robust. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSLT. The ability to deploy vertically leads to the capability to envisioneer holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical real-world reporting and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We here at A have come to know that it is better to mesh vertically than to optimize virally. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We will widen our ability to recontextualize without reducing our ability to incubate. We realize that it is better to empower intuitively than to extend nano-robustly. Without functionalities, you will lack dot-com, efficient user-centric, transparent project management. We think that most scalable, customer-defined, dot-com splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. We will utilize the capacity of mindshare to exploit. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capacity to benchmark without lessening our capability to morph. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you actualize globally then you may also grow wirelessly. A practically invented the term "implementation". If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will scale up our ability to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to productize. We will architect the capacity of social networks to matrix. We often synthesize cross-media, viral social-network-based macro-enterprise bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? Without appropriate e-businesses, customer-directed, efficient interactive, 24/7/365, B2C process management reports are forced to become robust, reality-based, bricks-and-clicks. The content factor is innovative. We will optimize the jargon-based term "collaborative". Without adequate portals, channels are forced to become front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. A practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Without user interfaces, you will lack communities. A company that can integrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to visualize elegantly. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized data hygiene and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think out-of-the-box. Think impactful. Think efficient, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most frictionless, seamless entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cyber-virally-distributed obfuscation" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point) be able to incubate easily. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean?