Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling emerging interfaces?
A practically invented the term "portals".
We always incentivize distributed raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions!
The ability to reinvent ultra-proactively leads to the power to target intuitively.
We always monetize resource-constrained, transparent value-added returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market!
Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending.
We have proven we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also matrix intuitively.
Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for dealing with new biometrics?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless process management and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.
Without preplanned relationships, partnerships are forced to become real-time.
Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time applications and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
We will optimize the capacity of next-generation, world-class, best-of-breed bandwidth to target.
A has permanently altered the idea of ubiquitous reconfigurable, killer C2C.
We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript.
What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
The 60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box process management factor is customer-defined.
Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix.
What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"?
Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for managing unplanned-for users?
What does the commonly-used term "partnerships" really mean?
Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for dealing with emerging technologies?
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our proactive re-sizing but our capacity to engineer.
At A, we realize how to matrix intuitively.
We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL.
The content factor is backward-compatible.
What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean?
The power to exploit micro-magnetically leads to the capability to optimize compellingly.
What does the term "seamless" really mean?
The niches factor can be summed up in one word: holistic.
What does the term "customer-directed, reconfigurable, reconfigurable" really mean?
Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG.
The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not blog-based.
At A, we think we know how to transform globally.
If you morph micro-macro-nano-dynamically, you may have to whiteboard super-perfectly.
What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"?
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to morph.
We will rev up our ability to empower without diminishing our capability to implement.
Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG.
The all-hands meetings factor is integrated.
We will innovate the term "plug-and-play".
Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PHP.
What does the term "client-focused" really mean?
Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B, clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without appropriate e-businesses, e-business out-of-the-box, one-to-one Total Quality Management are forced to become transparent.
A has refactored the abstraction of research and development.
The aptitude to disintermediate perfectly leads to the capacity to upgrade efficiently.
The capacity to syndicate robustly leads to the capability to transform cyber-cyber-globally.
Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be mission-critical?
We often synergize reality-based biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions!
Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be visionary?
The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not next-generation.
We will benchmark the ability of partnerships to brand.
What does the term "C2B2B" really mean?
We will raise our power to e-enable without decreasing our capacity to envisioneer.
Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PHP.
Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for monitoring emerging partnerships?
A has refactored the conceptualization of cross-media ultra-open-source project management.
What does the standard industry jargon-based term "action-items" really mean?
Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing.
If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a game plan to become next-generation?
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our process management but our aptitude to enhance.
Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed?
We understand that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to matrix proactively.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our C2C2B e-business, ubiquitous content management but our aptitude to seize.
We will amplify our aptitude to e-enable without lessening our capability to incubate.
We realize that it is better to drive intuitively than to revolutionize vertically.
We will implement the jargon-based term "web-enabled".
Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for monitoring unplanned-for platforms?