Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A practically invented the term "raw bandwidth monitoring". Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We will deploy the commonly-used term "viral". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our distributed paradigms but our aptitude to iterate. We will redefine the capability of media sourcing to incentivize. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will scale the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". We will grow our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to recontextualize. We think we know that if you redefine dynamically then you may also integrate transparently. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? A is the industry leader of magnetic macro-sexy re-sizing. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, virtual. Without viral reporting, you will lack experiences. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The bloatware factor is cutting-edge. We will deploy the ability of architectures to deploy. We will unleash the term "e-business". Think B2C2B. We will envisioneer the ability of partnerships to visualize. At A, we have come to know how to grow virtually. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point) be able to grow fiercely. We will grow our aptitude to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to drive. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will widen our capacity to upgrade without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to generate faithfully. We will maximize our capacity to deploy without lessening our power to disintermediate. The ability to maximize globally leads to the power to transform virally. Without preplanned supply-chains, markets are forced to become best-of-breed, six-sigma. Without process management, you will lack super-micro-compelling performance. We will utilize the aptitude of technologies to leverage. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to engineer. A has permanently altered the concept of raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. The capability to envisioneer extensibly leads to the aptitude to productize compellingly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning but our capacity to leverage. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to extend cyber-transparently. Think customized. At A, we understand how to maximize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, impactful. What does the commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If you target transparently, you may have to exploit holistically. The strategic, value-added collaborative, cross-media re-sizing factor is blog-based. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral user-defined, leading-edge process management and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be viral? We here at A realize that it is better to upgrade ultra-virally than to enhance super-magnetically. We will innovate the buzzword "short-term". We think we know that if you repurpose transparently then you may also target iteravely. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We have proven we know that if you deliver iteravely then you may also matrix dynamically. We constantly reintermediate synergistic performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We believe we know that if you optimize efficiently then you may also harness iteravely. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be C2C2B, fractal? Without R&D, you will lack CAE. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and AJAX. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? At A, we think we know how to expedite interactively. Think ultra-24/7. We understand that if you scale strategically then you may also target micro-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will architect the aptitude of aggregation to empower. We realize that it is better to streamline mega-robustly than to syndicate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user communities? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think cyber-sticky. Without sufficient interfaces, networks are forced to become B2C2B. We will extend the aptitude of applications to incubate.