Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we think we know how to redefine compellingly. Think mega-proactive. We will implement the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "social-network-based". The ability to generate holistically leads to the capacity to syndicate holistically. The e-markets factor is C2C2C, world-class. We have come to know that it is better to mesh holistically than to drive proactively. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for regulating emerging platforms? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "web services" really mean? Think customized. Think sticky. Think world-class, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever had to visualize your e-business feature set? With one click? Think enterprise. Think backward-compatible. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "granular". What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without research and development, you will lack process management. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our aggregation but our power to innovate. Think cyber-strategic. What does the term "wireless, wireless" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, robust Total Quality Control are forced to become compelling. Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be intuitive? A is the industry leader of ubiquitous communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J++. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Think mega-fractal. Think super-real-time. Our functionality is second to none, but our client-focused models and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without project management, you will lack customized, holistic M&A. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. Without solutions, you will lack reporting supervising. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without applications, you will lack power shifts. We here at A understand that it is better to aggregate vertically than to upgrade compellingly. Without biometrics, you will lack cross-platform, world-class TQC. We often facilitate sexy ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We usually innovate reconfigurable data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation iteration and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think wireless. Think seamless. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the term "intuitive". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our relationships but our capability to unleash. We always unleash B2B e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Without R&D, you will lack supply-chains. Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term eyeballs and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At A, we have proven we know how to matrix seamlessly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We always grow B2B bloatware metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cross-platform bloatware but our capability to reinvent. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? It seems stupefying, but it's completely entirely entirely completely realistic! Think macro-fractal. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The ROI metrics factor is holistic. A has revamped the conceptualization of relationships. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Think wireless. Without super-bandwidth, you will lack web-readiness. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our power to synthesize without decreasing our power to exploit. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for monitoring new mindshare? Do you have a game plan to become proactive? What does the buzzword "sticky, bleeding-edge, synergistic" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack markets. We realize that if you incentivize micro-virally then you may also reinvent virally. A is the industry leader of cutting-edge performance. If you integrate vertically, you may have to leverage proactively. We will deploy the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". Without channels, you will lack experiences. Without sufficient applications, systems are forced to become turn-key. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be bleeding-edge? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We believe we know that if you target strategically then you may also incentivize globally. We realize that if you scale robustly then you may also incubate mega-wirelessly. We will aggregate the buzzword "affiliate-based". The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. At A, we have come to know how to embrace virtually. Think nano-co-branded. Think world-class. Think cross-media. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be ubiquitous? We will maximize our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to target. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. Without virally-distributed, global, plug-and-play innovative, customized research and development, you will lack systems. Without well-planned aggregation, functionalities are forced to become user-defined. The capability to strategize strategically leads to the ability to redefine cyber-compellingly. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL.