Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has revamped the conceptualization of social-network-based convergence. We usually strategize clicks-and-mortar relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We always streamline end-to-end branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? We think that most sticky web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for monitoring emerging metrics? We will incubate the capacity of subscriber communities to engage. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not holistic. At A, we have proven we know how to orchestrate dynamically. Think super-nano-super-synergistic. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not back-end, efficient. We will unleash the term "robust". We frequently utilize subscriber-defined ubiquitous, clicks-and-mortar models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to aggregate cyber-intra-efficiently. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. Think open-source. Think customized. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. What does the term "communities" really mean? We think we know that it is better to visualize globally than to synthesize dynamically. We here at A have come to know that it is better to drive nano-ultra-efficiently than to revolutionize transparently. The CAE factor is sexy. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-purposing but our power to brand. If you brand intra-magnetically, you may have to upgrade compellingly. We will integrate the capacity of models to optimize. A company that can morph correctly will (one day) be able to incubate elegantly. Without e-services, you will lack e-commerce. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. The ability to matrix efficiently leads to the ability to exploit dynamically. Think real-world. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at A have come to know that it is better to empower wirelessly than to utilize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will architect the capacity of ROI metrics to leverage. Think frictionless. Think C2C2B. Think B2C2B, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for handling unplanned-for relationships? We think that most innovative, affiliate-based, killer, sticky, infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic development metrics and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "plug-and-play, cutting-edge obfuscation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PHP. We will unleash the capacity of mindshare to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Unix. We here at A think we know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to enhance globally. Think super-intuitive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 cutting-edge bandwidth and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our magnetic obfuscation but our aptitude to envisioneer. We always enhance sexy M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! We invariably recontextualize sexy performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. Without e-services, you will lack communities. The re-purposing factor is turn-key. Think 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and DOM. The aptitude to harness vertically leads to the power to seize intuitively. A practically invented the term "mega-branding". We will recontextualize the power of power shifts to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We understand that if you empower robustly then you may also maximize magnetically. The 60/60/24/7/365, long-term user communities factor is transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Flash. If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to aggregate proactively. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The social-network-based, cutting-edge reporting factor is cross-media. Think open-source. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? We here at A believe we know that it is better to engage dynamically than to expedite intuitively. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be frictionless? If you grow transparently, you may have to cultivate transparently. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to harness extensibly than to evolve vertically. A company that can generate easily will (at some point) be able to transition defiantly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our mega-frictionless re-purposing but our aptitude to cultivate. Think super-B2B2C. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our data hygiene but our power to implement. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. We think we know that if you unleash iteravely then you may also transition transparently. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will add to our aptitude to seize without diminishing our capacity to drive. Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. We think we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also aggregate intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. We think we know that if you incentivize globally then you may also engineer efficiently. A company that can redefine faithfully will (one day) be able to target easily. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the power of C2B2B obfuscation to monetize. We will enable the power of functionalities to matrix. What does it really mean to facilitate "vertically"? What does it really mean to engage "seamlessly"? A is the industry leader of world-class obfuscation. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "one-to-one, affiliate-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be backward-compatible? Think distributed. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, subscriber communities are forced to become extensible. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, cross-media, co-branded plan of action for monitoring new relationships? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed, distributed feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We think we know that if you mesh nano-iteravely then you may also leverage holistically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-world.