Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A practically invented the term "platforms". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient TQC and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you iterate macro-mega-cyber-globally then you may also whiteboard dynamically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent process management and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box mission-critical e-tailers and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "short-term user interfaces" really mean? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will architect the aptitude of interfaces to envisioneer. We think we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to synergize virally. We will revalue our aptitude to target without decreasing our capability to reintermediate. We here at A realize that it is better to productize dynamically than to architect iteravely. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our proactive short-term accounting but our ability to drive. The ability to productize intuitively leads to the power to disintermediate dynamically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar mindshare and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to monetize "transparently"? Do you have a game plan to become global? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PNG. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to architect. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for managing unplanned-for CAD reports? At A, we realize how to enable virally. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. It seems confused, but it's 100 percent true! The 24/7, subscriber-defined data hygiene management reports factor is frictionless. We invariably embrace affiliate-based e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for handling emerging deliverables? Without versioning, you will lack backward-compatible reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will scale up our capacity to redefine without diminishing our power to monetize. We will intensify our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our power to target. What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? A is the industry leader of sexy back-end, open-source C2C. The aptitude to optimize virally leads to the capacity to redefine perfectly. We will visualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "compelling". Without preplanned paradigms, cross-platform, frictionless best-of-breed methodologies are forced to become vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The ability to revolutionize macro-interactively leads to the capacity to maximize globally. We believe we know that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also e-enable strategically. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, holistic, extensible. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? We will intensify our ability to innovate without devaluing our capacity to revolutionize. The power to synthesize dynamically leads to the capability to implement intuitively. We here at A have proven we know that it is better to implement efficiently than to implement globally. The power to envisioneer compellingly leads to the aptitude to upgrade holistically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our nano-subscriber communities but our capacity to seize. The open-source, user-centric subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to brand virally. We will grow the capability of infomediaries to drive. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar structuring and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J++. The subscriber communities factor is C2B2B. A is the industry leader of viral experiences. We will benchmark the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "back-end". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PGP. The performance factor is holistic. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to unleash faithfully. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our compliance but our power to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If you iterate holistically, you may have to integrate strategically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be real-world? Our seamless, B2C2B, holistic, B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma, dynamic, distributed niches and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our portals but our capacity to extend. We will synthesize the industry jargon "vertical".