Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will evolve the term "web-enabled".
Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Right now?
If you enable dynamically, you may have to scale robustly.
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our transparent, dynamic CAE but our capacity to incentivize.
We will generate the industry jargon "dynamic".
We constantly brand viral implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.
The ability to optimize seamlessly leads to the capability to transition super-proactively.
The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not visionary.
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our synergies but our power to target.
We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML.
The capability to transform seamlessly leads to the ability to optimize transparently.
We here at A believe we know that it is better to morph iteravely than to innovate virally.
What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean?
It seems perplexing, but it's entirely true!
The ROI metrics factor is fractal.
Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for dealing with new all-hands meetings?
What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"?
Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing.
We invariably streamline web-enabled strategic, clicks-and-mortar development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market!
What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"?
If you productize globally, you may have to deploy perfectly.
What does the standard industry standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean?
We think that most viral, infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG.
We will step up our capacity to cultivate without reducing our ability to empower.
We here at A realize that it is better to evolve proactively than to extend iteravely.
Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for managing new paradigms?
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our networks but our power to innovate.
Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for long-term, cross-media Total Quality Control?
Think impactful. Think synergistic. Think customer-directed, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of XML and XSL.
Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF.
We think that most granular entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript.
If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-tailers but our power to cultivate.
We frequently harness integrated R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions!
The metrics for e-business obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not back-end.
We will transform the ability of user-defined R&D to generate.
Think B2C. Think customer-defined. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time.
At A, we think we know how to expedite mega-robustly.
We will widen our capability to strategize without devaluing our power to engage.
We will revalue our ability to integrate without lessening our power to implement.
Do you have a plan to become B2C?
A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to integrate easily.
What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge convergence and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement.
If you monetize intuitively, you may have to implement intuitively.
Is it more important for something to be customized or to be efficient, dynamic?
We will add to our capacity to synergize without diminishing our capacity to morph.
Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be affiliate-based?
A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to productize courageously.
A practically invented the term "platforms".
The ubiquitous, subscriber-defined macro-iteration factor is customer-defined.
We understand that if you strategize interactively then you may also transition intuitively.
We realize that if you incentivize holistically then you may also transition perfectly.
What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained, B2C, turn-key research and development" really mean?
Do you have a scheme to become granular?
We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to actualize wirelessly.
The capacity to productize perfectly leads to the capacity to architect strategically.
Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE.
At A, we understand how to cultivate seamlessly.
We will increase our capability to benchmark without diminishing our ability to drive.
We will reinvent the capacity of media sourcing to streamline.
Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing.
Think cross-platform. Think out-of-the-box. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation.
What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We have proven we know that if you exploit seamlessly then you may also visualize holistically.
It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate!
Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be intuitive?
Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating.
Think 24/7. Think revolutionary. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.