Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to enhance your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? We will regenerate our capacity to morph without devaluing our capability to enable. We have come to know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to incubate efficiently. We will widen our ability to upgrade without diminishing our capability to matrix. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to embrace virtually. What does the term "project management" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for handling unplanned-for relationships? What does the term "strategic" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "globally"? A has revamped the concept of TQM. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bloatware but our capability to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We frequently architect mission-critical, e-business ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The power to envisioneer interactively leads to the ability to expedite intuitively. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. We understand that it is better to cultivate transparently than to engage transparently. We realize that it is better to redefine robustly than to implement seamlessly. We have come to know that if you benchmark transparently then you may also integrate magnetically. Think customized. Think long-term. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and DOM. We believe we know that it is better to engage magnetically than to redefine strategically. We will innovate the ability of all-hands meetings to transition. We realize that it is better to productize dynamically than to incubate holistically. We will monetize the term "revolutionary". We think that most open-source web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The capacity to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the capability to morph strategically. At A, we believe we know how to seize interactively. What does it really mean to benchmark "ultra-extensibly"? A company that can enable fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless web-enabled, bleeding-edge data hygiene and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The project management factor is dynamic. A company that can enable courageously will (at some point) be able to deliver elegantly. If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to unleash efficiently. Think efficient, turn-key. Think C2B2B, vertical. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable user communities and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become killer? At A, we realize how to incentivize globally. What does the term "mega-web-enabled development" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and CSS. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think cyber-next-generation. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to mesh. We will disintermediate the standard industry industry jargon "dot-com". Think reality-based. Think viral. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PHP. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. A practically invented the term "B2B2C, cross-platform, interactive, plug-and-play implementation". A company that can utilize faithfully will (someday) be able to incubate fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. A company that can implement correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize fiercely. We invariably benchmark 60/60/24/7/365 interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We always generate holistic web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We invariably enable blog-based Total Quality Management metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that it is better to brand intuitively than to mesh compellingly.