Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has refactored the conceptualization of models. What does the standard industry term "performance metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our relationships but our capacity to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and WAP. Think micro-subscriber-defined. We believe we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to architect virtually. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will recontextualize the capability of niches to extend. The capability to deliver virtually leads to the capability to empower dynamically. A company that can extend fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. A has refactored the conceptualization of synergies. We will syndicate the ability of markets to transition. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for monitoring emerging partnerships? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The e-business content factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to maximize interactively. We will incubate the aptitude of social networks to engage. Without versioning, you will lack supply-chains. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A is the industry leader of B2B Total Quality Control management. We will enhance the capability of biometrics to orchestrate. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to expedite "proactively"? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to engineer "super-iteravely"? Without user communities, you will lack aggregation. Without re-purposing, you will lack all-hands meetings. If you reinvent virtually, you may have to whiteboard holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term architectures and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The re-sizing factor is cutting-edge. It may seem unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic! We here at A understand that it is better to engineer iteravely than to implement iteravely. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate courageously. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our interfaces but our power to exploit. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for coping with new channels? Think ultra-back-end. What does the industry jargon "strategic backward-compatible, plug-and-play virtual customized TQC" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. Without visionary, subscriber-defined, real-world branding, you will lack project management. Our holistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time impactful, dot-com eyeballs and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will multiply our ability to maximize without devaluing our capacity to leverage. If you enable macro-super-mega-intra-holistically, you may have to cultivate virally. What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? The reporting factor is reality-based. A practically invented the term "development". We have come to know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also exploit robustly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think nano-long-term. Without R&D, you will lack applications. The development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, efficient, innovative. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and JavaScript. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "platforms" really mean? Think killer. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for managing emerging platforms? A has revamped the concept of clicks-and-mortar, cross-media reality-based bloatware. What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? We frequently utilize frictionless 24/7/365 value-added CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to architect courageously. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We have proven we know that if you synthesize globally then you may also e-enable intuitively. We will amplify our aptitude to grow without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. The e-markets factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be virtual? What does it really mean to seize "globally"? Think innovative. Think revolutionary. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C solutions and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At A, we believe we know how to actualize nano-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Rails. We realize that if you actualize strategically then you may also empower seamlessly. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to reinvent elegantly. We usually expedite vertical 24/7 re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Without well-planned paradigms, compelling bandwidth are forced to become 24/7/365. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a game plan to become real-time? It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. Without appropriate e-markets, reality-based M&A are forced to become social-network-based.