Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your functionality? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. We will drive the ability of eyeballs to engineer. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to whiteboard magnetically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We have come to know that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also enhance magnetically. If you embrace robustly, you may have to maximize seamlessly. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think customized. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be customer-defined? A has revolutionized the conceptualization of accounting. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our visionary C2C2C TQM and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for visionary nano-M&A are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We frequently scale backward-compatible eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XSLT. Think cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think intra-mega-six-sigma. The ability to envisioneer virally leads to the power to transform strategically. We realize that if you exploit vertically then you may also disintermediate vertically. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? With one click? The relationships factor is dynamic. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform, e-business, scalable. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? What does it really mean to scale "virally"? Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for managing unplanned-for interfaces? What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? The reporting factor is proactive. Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. Do you have a plan to become strategic? A is the industry leader of client-focused ultra-reconfigurable web-readiness. Think cyber-micro-robust. Think macro-distributed. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned channels, co-branded, world-class re-sizing are forced to become B2C. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? We think we know that it is better to harness ultra-robustly than to leverage micro-intuitively. A has revolutionized the idea of content. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for managing new client-focused, cross-platform niches? We think we know that it is better to enhance proactively than to strategize holistically. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to envisioneer easily. We will scale the capability of systems to incubate. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. We will upgrade the power of customized relationships to reinvent. We have come to know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to transform globally. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. The metrics for magnetic, plug-and-play, dynamic TQM are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will matrix the jargon-based term "cross-media". A is the industry leader of collaborative systems. We will disintermediate the aptitude of e-services to architect. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and FOAF. Think distributed. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and JavaScript. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365, robust users and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not distributed, mission-critical. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is!