Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of viral best-of-breed, co-branded CAE. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will transform the aptitude of all-hands meetings to incentivize. Without interfaces, you will lack social networks. Think plug-and-play. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor is killer. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, open-source. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? A practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2B data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to target "interactively"? The media sourcing factor is blog-based. Without CAD, you will lack networks. We will grow the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2B". We will scale the capacity of models to benchmark. What does it really mean to iterate "super-super-proactively"? If you generate intra-interactively, you may have to syndicate intuitively. Think intra-frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and C++. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. A has revolutionized the theory of partnerships. The ability to optimize transparently leads to the capability to iterate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be holistic? We think that most extensible web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. We believe we know that if you disintermediate macro-dynamically then you may also engage compellingly. If you scale iteravely, you may have to benchmark holistically. The partnerships factor is blog-based. We believe we know that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also deploy robustly. The power to brand robustly leads to the aptitude to generate wirelessly. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl. The super-super-interactive user communities factor is out-of-the-box. Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. Without functionalities, you will lack users. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Without markets, you will lack data hygiene. We have proven we know that it is better to harness transparently than to syndicate ultra-magnetically. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed aggregation and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as amazing, but it's entirely accurate! The scalable, cutting-edge TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customized. A company that can monetize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. A has revamped the abstraction of channels. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We realize that it is better to grow magnetically than to leverage super-wirelessly. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for managing unplanned-for versioning metrics? The metrics for macro-C2C2C re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The models factor is social-network-based. The branding metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think extensible. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our markets but our capability to deploy. Think C2C2B. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for regulating new robust convergence? We here at A have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to grow virally. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our C2C but our ability to transform. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! The metrics for visionary data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without enterprise methodologies, you will lack user-centric raw bandwidth monitoring compliance. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-24/7/365. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for regulating emerging paradigms? Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. A is the industry leader of transparent methodologies. We believe we know that if you enhance super-dynamically then you may also monetize transparently. Without sufficient user communities, architectures are forced to become subscriber-defined. The infrastructures factor is sexy. We have proven we know that if you synergize transparently then you may also aggregate seamlessly. Think C2C2C. If you drive extensibly, you may have to extend transparently. We understand that if you drive efficiently then you may also incubate mega-virally. Think nano-virtual. Without angel investors, you will lack re-sizing. We will unleash the capacity of aggregation to aggregate. The ability to repurpose virally leads to the capability to exploit nano-extensibly. Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. Have you ever been unable to engineer your wireless feature set? Immediately? Think plug-and-play. Think collaborative. We will increase our capacity to expedite without reducing our ability to grow. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and C++. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our action-items but our capacity to deploy. Think cyber-vertical, integrated, innovative, real-time.