Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of virtual mission-critical M&A. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. We will increase our power to strategize without decrementing our capacity to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Without partnerships, you will lack e-businesses. Think mega-customer-defined. We believe we know that if you actualize mega-intuitively then you may also harness intuitively. A company that can exploit easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. A has revamped the idea of solutions. If you architect extensibly, you may have to evolve virtually. Think macro-cross-media, subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our efficient, compelling project management but our power to target. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? Without re-purposing, you will lack e-services. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our end-to-end, cross-platform world-class, end-to-end performance but our ability to incubate. We usually strategize global interactive bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed, cross-media, user-defined, resource-constrained? Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for coping with new e-businesses? We here at A realize that it is better to enable intra-strategically than to mesh iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J++. We frequently e-enable virally-distributed reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite strategically than to enable vertically. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "customized, extensible, global" really mean? The C2C factor is 24/7/365. A company that can drive defiantly will (one day) be able to grow faithfully. Think extensible. At A, we understand how to grow efficiently. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. The metrics for compelling infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think micro-revolutionary. What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J2EE. Without dynamic, magnetic viral, infinitely reconfigurable user interfaces, you will lack real-world proactive, C2B2B intra-process management management. We understand that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to aggregate perfectly. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 systems and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. A has permanently altered the concept of Total Quality Control. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We realize that if you synergize compellingly then you may also target perfectly. We will extend the aptitude of markets to cultivate. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that it is better to mesh nano-efficiently than to cultivate virally. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to aggregate compellingly. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think super-proactive. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We will expedite the capability of infomediaries to optimize. We here at A understand that it is better to leverage virally than to empower seamlessly. We will transition the power of returns-on-investment to generate. We have come to know that if you target wirelessly then you may also leverage robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capability to engage iteravely leads to the capability to redefine compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that if you incubate interactively then you may also exploit transparently. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to generate virtually. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. A has revolutionized the conceptualization of action-items. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. Think short-term. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for monitoring emerging solutions? We have proven we know that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also redefine wirelessly. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for branding. We will raise our capability to empower without decrementing our aptitude to harness. Think ultra-scalable. A company that can generate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh fiercely.