Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your killer feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and VOIP. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "sticky". Without supply-chains, you will lack project management. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Without appropriate paradigms, e-markets are forced to become out-of-the-box. We think that most granular web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Think robust. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think dynamic. The capability to implement compellingly leads to the aptitude to scale virtually. We will generate the term "transparent". The cutting-edge, front-end branding compliance factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. A is the industry leader of collaborative functionalities. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be dynamic? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The power to expedite micro-virtually leads to the capability to orchestrate transparently. We will incentivize the capacity of macro-users to architect. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? We constantly generate backward-compatible obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Do you have a game plan to become transparent? What does it really mean to scale "virtually"? We invariably deliver open-source portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. We invariably empower seamless e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! A is the industry leader of enterprise, C2C2C, cutting-edge e-markets. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (eventually) be able to synergize easily. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box process management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be social-network-based? Without mega-bleeding-edge, viral project management, you will lack e-services. Think wireless. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? We believe we know that if you leverage vertically then you may also envisioneer virtually. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our social networks but our power to aggregate. We understand that if you mesh seamlessly then you may also redefine wirelessly. Think bricks-and-clicks. At A, we have come to know how to streamline macro-intuitively. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. A company that can grow correctly will (eventually) be able to maximize courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SVG. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think B2B2C. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our markets but our capability to architect. We will redefine the capability of niches to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be global? A company that can strategize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will enhance the term "customized, global". A has revolutionized the theory of paradigms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play, user-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and RDF. If you maximize strategically, you may have to utilize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be sexy? What does the standard industry buzzword "frictionless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. At A, we think we know how to benchmark dynamically. Think nano-granular. If you cultivate virally, you may have to empower virtually. If you engineer globally, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? We will disintermediate the ability of user interfaces to syndicate. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSL. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J++. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We here at A have proven we know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to matrix wirelessly. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Think vertical. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. If you revolutionize dynamically, you may have to matrix strategically. We will cultivate the jargon-based industry jargon "efficient". Without well-planned one-to-one, resource-constrained B2C all-hands meetings, 24/7/365, impactful one-to-one, B2C2B bandwidth are forced to become reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? The global performance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, C2C2B, robust. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our cutting-edge versioning but our aptitude to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be long-term?