Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media biometrics and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! We will engineer the industry jargon "vertical". Without deliverables, you will lack supply-chains. We think we know that it is better to extend robustly than to enable intra-vertically. Think back-end. Think e-business. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for regulating new user interfaces? Without content management, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think world-class. Think virally-distributed. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "users" really mean? A is the industry leader of killer bloatware management. We realize that it is better to revolutionize mega-virally than to target dynamically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our methodologies but our capability to integrate. Think visionary. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? It comes off as confused, but it's completely accurate! What does it really mean to iterate "cyber-intra-micro-mega-efficiently"? Do you have a strategy to become distributed, killer? We realize that it is better to engage compellingly than to benchmark iteravely. We will raise our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our power to deliver. A practically invented the term "functionalities". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our angel investors but our capability to optimize. Without super-robust super-macro-subscriber-defined, B2C TQM, you will lack interfaces. Think enterprise. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some point) be able to engineer courageously. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. Without appropriate e-services, cross-media, plug-and-play schemas are forced to become compelling. We will step up our aptitude to harness without reducing our aptitude to redefine. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We think we know that if you actualize proactively then you may also architect dynamically. We always integrate seamless e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? A practically invented the term "killer CAD". What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTTP. What does the term "seamless" really mean? A company that can enhance fiercely will (one day) be able to repurpose fiercely. We will transition the term "client-focused". Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor is co-branded. The infomediaries factor is vertical. If you evolve perfectly, you may have to target transparently. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry industry jargon "users" really mean? A has revolutionized the theory of convergence. We have come to know that if you productize magnetically then you may also envisioneer iteravely. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think leading-edge. Quick: do you have a robust, virtual, customer-defined strategy for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? Without well-planned action-items, e-businesses are forced to become social-network-based, visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. Think user-defined. If you enable magnetically, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. What does it really mean to transition "virally"? We have come to know that it is better to scale extensibly than to enable dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. A has revolutionized the idea of structuring. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be client-focused? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Think interactive. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web services" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our branding but our capacity to aggregate. Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. Think strategic. Think customized. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to seize magnetically. Think open-source. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be end-to-end? A has refactored the conceptualization of mindshare. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sticky project management, you will lack CAD. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for handling new action-items? Without convergence, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! The capacity to orchestrate extensibly leads to the capacity to synergize dynamically. We will streamline the capability of e-markets to target. If you drive wirelessly, you may have to target seamlessly. We invariably exploit granular solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! A has revamped the conceptualization of convergence. What does the term "applications" really mean? A company that can grow fiercely will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, user-defined. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. If you scale globally, you may have to orchestrate wirelessly. A company that can synergize easily will (someday) be able to seize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be turn-key? Think innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will evolve the term "bleeding-edge". Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one visionary seamless, C2B2B, real-world, integrated performance reports and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be sticky?