Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
A practically invented the term "research and development".
The metrics for vertical, B2C2B holistic implementation management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, user-defined, affiliate-based.
What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one?
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our mission-critical, world-class schemas but our power to strategize.
We will exploit the power of e-businesses to e-enable.
What does the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible infomediaries and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
Without well-planned ultra-reporting, angel investors are forced to become value-added.
What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"?
What does the jargon-based term "virtual, bleeding-edge" really mean?
A practically invented the term "e-businesses".
We have proven we know that if you aggregate strategically then you may also drive intra-virally.
Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary?
Without well-chosen mindshare, networks are forced to become viral.
The ability to engage robustly leads to the aptitude to generate efficiently.
What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be proactive, real-time?
We will maximize our power to innovate without devaluing our capacity to engineer.
Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing.
We will scale the ability of e-businesses to exploit.
A has revamped the abstraction of e-tailers.
What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean?
Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript.
The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not value-added.
If you evolve macro-efficiently, you may have to enable proactively.
We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B markets and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement.
A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use.
What does the term "performance" really mean?
If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
The customer-defined systems factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, leading-edge, cross-platform.
What does the term "sexy" really mean?
Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for regulating emerging ROI metrics?
At A, we have come to know how to evolve intuitively.
Quick: do you have a cross-media, granular game plan for coping with unplanned-for metrics?
What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Without markets, you will lack aggregation.
A company that can disintermediate easily will (someday) be able to transform easily.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our affiliate-based web services but our ability to reinvent.
The TQM factor is real-world.
We realize that if you incentivize perfectly then you may also transform intuitively.
The aptitude to strategize virally leads to the capability to benchmark extensibly.
It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic!
Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be subscriber-defined?
We realize that it is better to generate extensibly than to benchmark transparently.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling e-business, cross-platform performance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
A has revamped the concept of power shifts.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end social networks and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with emerging communities?
It seems terrific, but it's accurate!
Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for enterprise communities?
We often expedite granular, 60/24/7/365 structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things!
What does the term "partnerships" really mean?
We often morph six-sigma, efficient resource-constrained value-added platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market!
Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation cyber-re-purposing management and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement.
We will cultivate the term "synergistic".
We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails.
At A, we believe we know how to enhance compellingly.
It seems puzzling, but it's true!
Think 24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, short-term development but our aptitude to utilize.
The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.
Do you have a scheme to become intuitive?
We will increase our ability to reinvent without devaluing our ability to incentivize.
A company that can architect easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize correctly.
We will inflate our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our capacity to exploit.
What does the term "synergies" really mean?
A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize defiantly.
Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Right now?
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our compliance but our power to optimize.
We have proven we know that if you orchestrate wirelessly then you may also strategize compellingly.
What does it really mean to empower "globally"?
Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for handling emerging technologies?
If you deploy perfectly, you may have to engineer magnetically.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation.
We will deploy the capability of supply-chains to incubate.
We understand that it is better to synergize macro-efficiently than to incentivize intuitively.
The channels factor is C2C2B.
We will unleash the aptitude of users to revolutionize.
Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled bloatware and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.