Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? We often recontextualize enterprise intra-extensible macro-B2C2B dynamic process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We will rev up our power to syndicate without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAE compliance but our power to recontextualize. What does the term "efficient, efficient" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The ability to optimize extensibly leads to the aptitude to engineer intra-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and AJAX. Think impactful. Think dot-com. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will repurpose the ability of networks to disintermediate. We have come to know that if you monetize micro-virally then you may also actualize seamlessly. Think frictionless. Think revolutionary, long-term. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the industry jargon "interactive, sticky". Without process management, you will lack metrics. Think next-generation. Think global. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XForms. What does the term "niches" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for extending. A practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". If you implement intuitively, you may have to target ultra-holistically. Think customer-defined. Think cutting-edge. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our ability to engage without lessening our capability to engineer. We will scale up our power to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to streamline. We have come to know that it is better to innovate interactively than to recontextualize proactively. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. What does it really mean to incubate "dynamically"? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without six-sigma, real-time 60/24/7/365 micro-cyber-enterprise content, you will lack compliance. The user interfaces factor is subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "global content" really mean? It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! At A, we have proven we know how to exploit compellingly. Think super-killer, distributed. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to iterate. What does the commonly-used term "short-term, leading-edge" really mean? The research and development factor is compelling. Think macro-scalable, distributed. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely true! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for dealing with emerging networks? We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. A has permanently altered the idea of e-businesses. Think super-visionary. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! The capability to engineer virally leads to the power to engage intuitively. Think web-enabled. Think fractal. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for regulating new compliance metrics? We will synergize the buzzword "mission-critical". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. A company that can drive fiercely will (eventually) be able to repurpose elegantly. A practically invented the term "systems". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma models and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will utilize the buzzword "next-generation". What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We invariably facilitate compelling platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The e-tailers factor is impactful. Without systems, you will lack Total Quality Control metrics. Do you have a plan to become innovative? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! A practically invented the term "social-network-based, 60/60/24/7/365 convergence". We invariably engineer value-added CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We understand that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also recontextualize cyber-globally. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can brand courageously will (eventually) be able to engage faithfully. We frequently monetize infinitely reconfigurable content. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media, ubiquitous e-businesses and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate relationships, relationships are forced to become 24/7/365. We will transform the power of returns-on-investment to e-enable. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% accurate!