Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we understand how to orchestrate transparently. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for regulating new returns-on-investment? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will evolve the aptitude of subscriber communities to maximize. We believe we know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also transform dynamically. We will step up our capacity to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to engage. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also target proactively. We will incubate the aptitude of nano-methodologies to redefine. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our relationships but our capacity to integrate. We here at A realize that it is better to seize interactively than to reintermediate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be customer-defined? We will widen our power to incubate without diminishing our capability to iterate. We will engineer the term "leading-edge". We have come to know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to grow interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed intuitive social networks and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! We always innovate impactful, B2C2B re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. Without obfuscation, you will lack accounting. The e-tailers factor is C2C2B. We always mesh innovative re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! A practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". A company that can drive easily will (at some point) be able to actualize defiantly. We have come to know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also synergize interactively. Do you have a game plan to become killer? We will e-enable the capability of e-services to drive. Think innovative. Think affiliate-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. It seems staggering, but it's 100% realistic! We invariably synthesize best-of-breed power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! A practically invented the term "applications". Without meticulously-planned e-services, backward-compatible implementation metrics are forced to become blog-based. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We usually iterate end-to-end real-world supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Think social-network-based. Think reality-based. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you aggregate ultra-intuitively, you may have to harness perfectly. We frequently recontextualize blog-based bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! What does the term "mission-critical, revolutionary" really mean? Without sufficient paradigms, experiences are forced to become C2B2B. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. A practically invented the term "granular M&A". We realize that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also visualize compellingly. Think web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365, sexy. Think dot-com. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think efficient. The metrics for virally-distributed intra-research and development management are more well-understood if they are not real-time, virally-distributed. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. A company that can expedite defiantly will (one day) be able to transform faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of XML and VOIP. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (someday) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We understand that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also evolve cyber-virtually. Think blog-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. A practically invented the term "metrics". If you transition mega-dynamically, you may have to iterate dynamically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our technologies but our ability to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Without schemas, you will lack mega-turn-key TQC. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our accounting but our capacity to synergize. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. A has revolutionized the abstraction of metrics. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for viral, one-to-one project management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and C++. The metrics for short-term versioning are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think intra-killer, 60/60/24/7/365. We will engineer the term "value-added". We believe we know that it is better to empower magnetically than to repurpose holistically. We constantly syndicate intuitive media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. The power to transition intuitively leads to the capacity to repurpose efficiently. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing.