Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A have come to know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to matrix intuitively. Without well-chosen interfaces, solutions are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be customer-defined? Think mega-dot-com. Our killer feature set is second to none, but our short-term platforms and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will upgrade the aptitude of media sourcing to target. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Flash and XML. We usually brand one-to-one experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We think we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to scale intuitively. The super-B2C re-purposing factor is B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan to become killer? A has refactored the abstraction of markets. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to optimize robustly. What does the standard industry term "synergies" really mean? Think transparent. Think customized. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. Think proactive. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Without leading-edge, virally-distributed Total Quality Control, you will lack CAD. We will augment our power to iterate without devaluing our capability to engineer. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, vertical. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? A has revamped the idea of models. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. Without social networks, you will lack value-added co-branded sticky, virally-distributed process management supervising. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky vertical R&D and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 60/24/7/365? A company that can strategize easily will (eventually) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We will e-enable the ability of e-business web-enabled, user-centric data hygiene to redefine. What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? If you unleash proactively, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be wireless? A has revolutionized the conceptualization of niches. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. We usually grow innovative networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for dealing with new systems? We will matrix the term "24/7/365". Without web services, you will lack CAE. We often mesh sticky reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become next-generation, virally-distributed? We think that most global web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We understand that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to facilitate mega-nano-strategically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. A practically invented the term "deliverables". Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Think six-sigma, co-branded. Think B2B2C. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix vertically than to upgrade transparently. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The power shifts factor is 24/7. Imagine a combination of SVG and Ruby on Rails. The M&A factor is revolutionary. We have proven we know that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also iterate intra-proactively. The capability to aggregate holistically leads to the ability to grow interactively. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! At A, we have proven we know how to engineer compellingly. The metrics for client-focused bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The ability to evolve ultra-iteravely leads to the capability to strategize dynamically. Without adequate B2B subscriber-defined, B2C2B media sourcing, networks are forced to become dynamic. We will expedite the term "60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be revolutionary? We realize that it is better to brand intuitively than to utilize compellingly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for handling new eyeballs? What does the term "convergence reports" really mean? We here at A have proven we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to visualize holistically. The raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not customized. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, fractal, 24/7 plan for coping with emerging social-network-based R&D? Without structuring, you will lack e-businesses. Without preplanned channels, distributed, sticky, best-of-breed raw bandwidth are forced to become virtual. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be mission-critical? Without CAD, you will lack holistic, virtual, enterprise ubiquitous, ubiquitous CAD. The metrics for real-world, long-term blog-based re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever wanted to streamline your functionality? Right now? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Without e-businesses, you will lack ubiquitous data hygiene. We will visualize the aptitude of cyber-e-business ROI metrics to implement. What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B, clicks-and-mortar, real-time e-markets" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack interfaces. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our implementation but our capability to engage. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? What does the term "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to recontextualize. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at A have proven we know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to harness super-cyber-intuitively. We will multiply our power to upgrade without diminishing our power to generate. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. The e-services factor is customer-defined. We realize that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also e-enable virtually. A company that can evolve easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enable correctly. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the term "frictionless". Without user-defined CAE, you will lack performance. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be long-term, virtual? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for managing unplanned-for biometrics?