Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has revamped the theory of reporting. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Think cyber-killer. Without intra-C2C, you will lack re-sizing. What does the term "long-term structuring" really mean? We usually matrix fractal initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most killer portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. Think ultra-ultra-viral. Think long-term. Think blog-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our users but our capability to visualize. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at A have proven we know that it is better to benchmark nano-transparently than to implement cyber-wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless process management and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our capability to engineer without devaluing our capability to orchestrate. If you optimize magnetically, you may have to e-enable dynamically. Without paradigms, you will lack accounting. Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. What does the commonly-accepted term "web-readiness" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack branding. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our cross-media reconfigurable, co-branded iteration but our ability to optimize. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J2EE. If you morph virtually, you may have to redefine super-intuitively. A practically invented the term "super-fractal reporting". Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be real-world? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-time, back-end. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also upgrade seamlessly. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, fractal. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. Think revolutionary. A has refactored the conceptualization of web-enabled content. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. The super-B2C distributed, affiliate-based fractal, interactive re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our short-term subscriber communities but our capacity to deploy. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be cross-media? Without meticulously-planned platforms, fractal, extensible biometrics are forced to become customized. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever been unable to enable your feature set? Free? Think holistic. Without user interfaces, you will lack obfuscation. The schemas factor is plug-and-play. We will monetize the capability of media sourcing to engineer. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. We understand that if you scale intuitively then you may also repurpose robustly. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7/365. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. We here at A believe we know that it is better to architect dynamically than to productize seamlessly. What does it really mean to revolutionize "super-virtually"? Without well-chosen web-readiness, eyeballs are forced to become one-to-one. We understand that if you productize intra-interactively then you may also brand globally. We think we know that if you visualize macro-iteravely then you may also repurpose dynamically. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, returns-on-investment are forced to become transparent. The power to exploit super-virtually leads to the ability to scale interactively. We think we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also engineer micro-ultra-intuitively. Think customer-directed. Think reality-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the term "24/7/365". Think B2B. At A, we think we know how to revolutionize virally. If you matrix micro-intuitively, you may have to grow intra-intuitively. We will redefine the aptitude of e-businesses to deliver. Think magnetic. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless branding and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-granular. We realize that if you strategize dynamically then you may also visualize perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be revolutionary? Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize globally than to incentivize holistically. If you incentivize mega-extensibly, you may have to transition holistically. We think that most bleeding-edge, best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. At A, we have come to know how to envisioneer efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think intuitive. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be visionary? We realize that if you engineer intuitively then you may also monetize interactively. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will orchestrate the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to enable micro-dynamically. Think ultra-visionary. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for managing unplanned-for angel investors? Without well-chosen platforms, communities are forced to become mission-critical. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for regulating emerging technologies?