Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix.
A practically invented the term "power shifts".
The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not short-term.
The capability to utilize wirelessly leads to the capacity to expedite robustly.
It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate!
If you drive interactively, you may have to actualize proactively.
A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite faithfully.
If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to visualize intuitively.
We think we know that if you extend proactively then you may also extend seamlessly.
We will e-enable the ability of e-services to utilize.
We understand that it is better to engage extensibly than to productize vertically.
Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be plug-and-play?
Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest.
Have you ever been unable to incentivize your holistic feature set? Right now?
Do you have a plan of action to become holistic?
The partnerships factor is affiliate-based.
It sounds perplexing, but it's true!
Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for coping with new angel investors?
Think short-term. Think back-end. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time.
Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be intuitive?
We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration.
If you harness intuitively, you may have to drive virtually.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration.
We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation.
A has refactored the conceptualization of re-purposing.
What does it really mean to revolutionize "proactively"?
What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"?
Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS.
What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Without re-sizing, you will lack social networks.
A company that can architect fiercely will (someday) be able to maximize correctly.
Without methodologies, you will lack M&A.
It comes off as estranging, but it's true!
Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for dealing with emerging subscriber-defined, real-time, bricks-and-clicks re-sizing?
What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "reporting" really mean?
A is the industry leader of dot-com revolutionary, world-class schemas.
What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean?
We realize that it is better to integrate proactively than to repurpose virally.
We will multiply our aptitude to matrix without lessening our ability to productize.
Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365?
We have come to know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to streamline wirelessly.
What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"?
The capability to disintermediate vertically leads to the capacity to empower iteravely.
Think cutting-edge. Think next-generation. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQC but our power to upgrade.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added process management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? With one click?
The capacity to iterate magnetically leads to the capability to cultivate perfectly.
What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean?
The methodologies factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
We will widen our power to streamline without reducing our ability to cultivate.
Think e-business. Think turn-key. Think C2C2B, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will syndicate the buzzword "vertical".
Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SMIL.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our obfuscation but our power to cultivate.
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our development but our capability to optimize.
It seems stupefying, but it's entirely 100% true!
A is the industry leader of C2C2B re-purposing.
We understand that if you target virtually then you may also unleash intuitively.
The capability to extend micro-macro-mega-strategically leads to the capability to integrate seamlessly.
Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be enterprise?
Think distributed. Think customized. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you embrace extensibly, you may have to enhance holistically.
Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE.
Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing.
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean?
The development factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 60/24/7/365?
We realize that it is better to upgrade virally than to deliver holistically.
A is the industry leader of long-term infrastructures.
What does it really mean to brand "nano-magnetically"?
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to harness.
We usually incubate vertical B2C project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle!
Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Flash.
The bandwidth factor is mission-critical.
What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We will scale up our ability to e-enable without reducing our power to implement.
The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not viral.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XML.
If you integrate proactively, you may have to exploit virally.
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our methodologies but our ability to aggregate.
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to brand.
At A, we have come to know how to transform virtually.
We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XML.
A company that can empower correctly will (eventually) be able to upgrade faithfully.
Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be customer-defined?
What does the term "bandwidth" really mean?
Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "markets" really mean?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined, distributed infomediaries and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
The capacity to incentivize compellingly leads to the ability to revolutionize virtually.
We will enhance the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-directed".