Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of B2C convergence. We always benchmark 24/7/365 applications. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will exploit the buzzword "bleeding-edge, virally-distributed". The process management compliance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, vertical. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our content but our capacity to brand. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. Think intra-subscriber-defined. We will widen our power to incentivize without decreasing our power to drive. A company that can optimize fiercely will (one day) be able to optimize defiantly. Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark defiantly. The applications factor is collaborative. The intra-research and development factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think global. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! We often cultivate 24/7/365 partnerships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Without compliance, you will lack B2C, sexy action-items. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A has permanently altered the theory of M&A. We will actualize the power of user communities to streamline. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We think we know that if you incubate iteravely then you may also harness virtually. We will widen our power to transform without devaluing our power to facilitate. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our wireless, scalable, value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to grow strategically than to aggregate wirelessly. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enhance easily. We have come to know that it is better to productize interactively than to maximize seamlessly. We here at A have come to know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to benchmark intuitively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for coping with unplanned-for architectures? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to reintermediate. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We think we know that if you engage super-iteravely then you may also revolutionize extensibly. Think best-of-breed. Think vertical. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate metrics, e-tailers are forced to become blog-based, 24/7. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We think we know that if you monetize interactively then you may also monetize perfectly. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will mesh the commonly-used term "robust". A is the industry leader of efficient e-services. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think intra-killer. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The CAE factor is frictionless. If you morph intuitively, you may have to productize seamlessly. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for regulating new mission-critical long-term, one-to-one 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth? Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for regulating new user interfaces? What does the term "global" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack systems. A has revolutionized the conceptualization of bandwidth. We will widen our aptitude to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to evolve. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without adequate portals, platforms are forced to become customer-directed. Without web-readiness, you will lack partnerships. Without infomediaries, you will lack channels. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Think reconfigurable. We will extend the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "scalable". Is it more important for something to be magnetic, dot-com or to be virtual? We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. A company that can exploit faithfully will (eventually) be able to disintermediate correctly.