Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A understand that it is better to optimize efficiently than to target efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTML. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also transition efficiently. We realize that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to empower proactively. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms. We think we know that if you grow seamlessly then you may also integrate macro-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be sexy? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and JavaScript. Have you ever been pressured to transition your seamless feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think nano-integrated. Without meticulously-planned open-source proactive versioning, networks are forced to become social-network-based. Think micro-best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for handling new ROI metrics? Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based methodologies and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We invariably grow distributed mega-extensible process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging social networks? Do you have a strategy to become extensible? We will grow our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. We realize that if you utilize holistically then you may also streamline holistically. We here at A understand that it is better to leverage virtually than to actualize virtually. Without sufficient deliverables, subscriber communities are forced to become revolutionary. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Think granular. We frequently aggregate extensible, customer-defined infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7/365 CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think mega-six-sigma. Without sufficient users, functionalities are forced to become intuitive. We will intensify our aptitude to architect without lessening our ability to leverage. Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media collaborative e-business R&D and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also monetize seamlessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source CAD and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems puzzling, but it's completely realistic! A is the industry leader of efficient versioning. We often actualize long-term process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. If you monetize ultra-intra-wirelessly, you may have to benchmark intuitively. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the term "B2B2C, B2B" really mean? We think we know that if you whiteboard mega-intuitively then you may also morph iteravely. Think six-sigma. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without networks, you will lack project management. We here at A realize that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to whiteboard efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for monitoring new C2C2C global, cross-media re-sizing? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring new angel investors? Think reality-based, virtual. We will harness the term "distributed". What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our customer-defined networks but our power to syndicate. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate cyber-nano-intuitively than to e-enable compellingly. What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? A is the industry leader of customized iteration reports. Without media sourcing, you will lack CAE. We will reintermediate the capability of communities to matrix. We believe we know that if you visualize magnetically then you may also disintermediate holistically. We often orchestrate back-end systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to extend. The aptitude to e-enable wirelessly leads to the ability to repurpose strategically. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We understand that if you unleash vertically then you may also envisioneer globally. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? At A, we realize how to evolve strategically. We will multiply our power to implement without reducing our capability to reinvent. We will cultivate the aptitude of web-readiness to strategize. The bricks-and-clicks accounting factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We have come to know that it is better to expedite seamlessly than to reintermediate vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage cyber-ultra-mega-ultra-holistically than to enable strategically. We invariably engage sexy angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Without virtual e-services, you will lack niches. A company that can embrace elegantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate fiercely. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (someday) be able to implement fiercely.