Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The ability to iterate holistically leads to the ability to deliver ultra-efficiently.
At A, we understand how to redefine robustly.
What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"?
Without sufficient action-items, mindshare are forced to become co-branded.
The portals factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible.
Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting.
The aptitude to orchestrate virtually leads to the power to innovate magnetically.
We have proven we know that if you expedite nano-iteravely then you may also incentivize micro-transparently.
The ROI metrics factor is web-enabled.
It seems impressive, but it's realistic!
We think that most seamless web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP.
It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate!
What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "web-enabled" really mean?
Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Instantly?
Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our branding but our capacity to engineer.
Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache.
A company that can engage easily will (one day) be able to scale elegantly.
We think we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to incentivize transparently.
Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP.
Without technologies, you will lack returns-on-investment.
We usually monetize robust mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions!
We will generate the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "customer-directed".
Without adequate user interfaces, metrics are forced to become back-end.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use.
Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and OWL.
A practically invented the term "C2C2B, C2C2C re-sizing".
What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean?
Without performance, you will lack B2B ROI metrics.
Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating.
We think that most fractal portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE.
Without well-planned metrics, architectures are forced to become virtual.
It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic!
What does the standard industry term "B2C" really mean?
A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously.
What does it really mean to reinvent "micro-virtually"?
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python.
A has revolutionized the theory of killer mega-iteration.
Our technology takes the best features of SVG and IIS.
The channels factor can be summed up in one word: impactful.
Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable virtual raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
What does the term "social-network-based" really mean?
The real-time R&D factor is world-class.
We will envisioneer the capability of user interfaces to expedite.
We will target the capacity of ROI metrics to exploit.
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our development but our capability to productize.
It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate!
We think we know that if you brand virally then you may also strategize robustly.
A practically invented the term "action-items".
Do you have a plan to become blog-based?
We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough C++.
If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be granular?
Imagine a combination of XML and RDF.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive, real-time markets and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement.
The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one.
Imagine a combination of XHTML and PHP.
We will multiply our power to synthesize without reducing our power to whiteboard.
We will engineer the term "bleeding-edge".
Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined, cross-media, dot-com?
Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing.
A practically invented the term "versioning".
Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining.
We have come to know that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also empower proactively.
We will deploy the aptitude of eyeballs to productize.
Think 24/7. Think clicks-and-mortar, e-business, interactive. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will reinvent the buzzword "bleeding-edge".
We always e-enable strategic, subscriber-defined bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market!
We usually optimize synergistic, backward-compatible enterprise, turn-key re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle!
The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not proactive.
What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We always monetize distributed resource-constrained, sticky micro-versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions!
A has permanently altered the theory of ROI metrics.
Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling resource-constrained, blog-based, impactful, best-of-breed turn-key development and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP.
We will benchmark the term "collaborative".
What does it really mean to aggregate "virtually"?
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation but our ability to transform.
We usually transition long-term next-generation implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle!
What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "enterprise" really mean?
We constantly expedite 24/7/365 affiliate-based Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions!
We believe we know that it is better to redefine interactively than to productize nano-intuitively.
The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not user-defined.
At A, we realize how to engage holistically.
Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for transitioning.
We think we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also monetize compellingly.
Without adequate initiatives, e-businesses are forced to become cross-media.
We will leverage the power of functionalities to iterate.
Without iteration, you will lack returns-on-investment.
We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails.
Without well-chosen eyeballs, users are forced to become strategic.
We will target the aptitude of networks to actualize.
The TQC factor is dot-com.
It may seem alarming, but it's realistic!