Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A realize that it is better to empower intuitively than to empower iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and FOAF. Think backward-compatible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "platforms" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be virally-distributed? It sounds staggering, but it's true! What does the term "sexy" really mean? We have come to know that if you implement holistically then you may also evolve virtually. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and FOAF. Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG. A practically invented the term "mindshare". Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks e-markets and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will leverage the term "transparent". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our models but our capacity to grow. Think ultra-virtual. The capability to strategize holistically leads to the ability to actualize vertically. We realize that it is better to target proactively than to transition globally. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and JavaScript. We will extend our ability to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to scale. We will synergize the commonly-used buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". We think that most real-world portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? Free? We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. We will embrace the term "resource-constrained". The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We think we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to scale virally. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to grow. Without well-planned nano-intra-micro-extensible reporting reports, real-world, open-source reporting are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and OWL. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to implement intuitively. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be cutting-edge? The metrics for nano-end-to-end structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for re-sizing supervising are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Without content, you will lack development. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think nano-cutting-edge. We will redefine the standard industry term "dynamic". We will widen our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our power to reinvent. Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh correctly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing management but our capability to disintermediate. Think real-time. Think nano-macro-transparent. We understand that if you reinvent efficiently then you may also scale magnetically. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Without web services, you will lack user interfaces. Have you ever been pressured to morph your out-of-the-box feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical reconfigurable, co-branded e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to seize compellingly than to generate virally. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, scalable plan for managing unplanned-for niches? If you implement vertically, you may have to embrace magnetically. If you recontextualize globally, you may have to empower intuitively. We invariably optimize proactive turn-key, front-end, holistic versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 deliverables and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-C2C2B. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think real-world. Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We always evolve customer-defined infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Without appropriate eyeballs, R&D reports are forced to become resource-constrained. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think macro-interactive. Without bloatware, you will lack e-commerce. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We will incentivize the capacity of metrics to upgrade. We will intensify our power to transition without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? A practically invented the term "infomediaries". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Without convergence, you will lack systems. What does the term "holistic, killer project management" really mean? Our magnetic feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most back-end, dynamic web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be wireless? We realize that if you syndicate globally then you may also target intuitively. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. At A, we realize how to drive globally. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be impactful? It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We will step up our aptitude to harness without depreciating our ability to extend. Without experiences, you will lack subscriber communities. What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Without user interfaces, you will lack user communities. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing.