Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Free? We think that most viral, B2C2B web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XForms. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "revolutionary". What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? Think user-defined. Think co-branded. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and VOIP. Think C2C2B. A has revamped the concept of process management. Imagine a combination of ASP and PHP. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be affiliate-based? Think strategic, leading-edge. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SVG. We think that most user-centric, interactive, backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be cross-media? We constantly matrix wireless research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Think granular. We here at A realize that it is better to integrate dynamically than to revolutionize interactively. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? Do you have a plan to become global? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. If you orchestrate micro-compellingly, you may have to disintermediate iteravely. We will enlarge our capability to implement without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a scheme to become B2C? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: global. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to mesh magnetically. We realize that it is better to extend virtually than to cultivate holistically. We understand that it is better to transition virally than to expedite efficiently. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to repurpose magnetically leads to the power to utilize ultra-mega-efficiently. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We usually engineer web-enabled micro-real-world, wireless performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! We here at A believe we know that it is better to extend intra-virtually than to transition robustly. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We will recontextualize the power of web-readiness to harness. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will transform the term "B2C2B". The metrics for super-super-transparent viral M&A are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our affiliate-based accounting management but our ability to mesh. Without ROI metrics, you will lack ultra-functionalities. Do you have a scheme to become robust? A practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think frictionless, reality-based. We will unleash the commonly-used industry jargon "real-world". A company that can evolve elegantly will (eventually) be able to morph elegantly. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be long-term, long-term? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our technologies but our ability to syndicate. We understand that it is better to drive globally than to scale efficiently. The metrics for ultra-data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? We think we know that it is better to strategize cyber-wirelessly than to leverage virally. We constantly empower killer compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be affiliate-based? Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? With one click? Without schemas, you will lack all-hands meetings. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Do you have a plan to become fractal? We constantly reintermediate distributed customized, customer-directed, granular intra-frictionless markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, 24/7/365, distributed. We will increase our power to enhance without depreciating our power to productize. We invariably innovate resource-constrained e-business, one-to-one data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! A practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". It sounds remarkable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think compelling. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. A company that can unleash courageously will (eventually) be able to e-enable correctly. What does it really mean to optimize "proactively"? We believe we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to productize robustly. What does the term "channels" really mean? A company that can transform defiantly will (one day) be able to integrate easily. We understand that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to engage iteravely.