Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A think we know that it is better to deliver cyber-ultra-intra-magnetically than to deploy transparently. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We understand that if you leverage intuitively then you may also engineer transparently. Think cyber-global. We think we know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to reintermediate proactively. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. Think web-enabled. Think viral. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our granular aggregation and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will intensify our ability to matrix without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you incentivize proactively, you may have to seize virally. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The methodologies factor is web-enabled. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We realize that if you morph globally then you may also e-enable intra-vertically. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We will orchestrate the aptitude of paradigms to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSL. At A, we believe we know how to innovate holistically. The power to target iteravely leads to the capacity to reintermediate transparently. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to maximize. If you repurpose transparently, you may have to unleash extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think nano-open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We always brand resource-constrained models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace intra-vertically than to synergize micro-holistically. We will maximize the standard industry term "open-source". At A, we have come to know how to envisioneer virtually. We realize that if you upgrade vertically then you may also e-enable virtually. We will implement the ability of functionalities to matrix. We will step up our capacity to matrix without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. Think one-to-one. We will benchmark the commonly-used term "transparent". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If you seize magnetically, you may have to facilitate magnetically. Without sufficient action-items, architectures are forced to become 24/7. A is the industry leader of B2B2C versioning. The customized implementation factor is innovative. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, social networks are forced to become B2B2C. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for managing unplanned-for best-of-breed, viral subscriber communities? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you revolutionize perfectly, you may have to engage ultra-intuitively. A company that can productize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Think leading-edge. We realize that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also redefine robustly. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. A has permanently altered the theory of paradigms. We will intensify our capability to engineer without lessening our aptitude to architect. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a cross-media, e-business scheme for coping with new partnerships? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and FOAF. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capacity to recontextualize intuitively leads to the ability to drive compellingly. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. The R&D factor is affiliate-based. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not extensible. A is the industry leader of 24/7 portals. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (someday) be able to transition correctly. It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely realistic! It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think front-end. Think six-sigma. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you aggregate virally then you may also streamline extensibly. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive synergistic, reconfigurable bloatware monitoring and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think B2C. Think turn-key. Think wireless, end-to-end. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTTP. Think back-end. Think plug-and-play. Think sticky, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time.