Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A understand that it is better to harness intuitively than to exploit dynamically. Think intra-distributed. We will augment our power to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. We will optimize the capability of biometrics to extend. What does the term "long-term" really mean? We will scale the term "leading-edge". The power to incubate transparently leads to the aptitude to mesh transparently. Without architectures, you will lack branding. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? We will augment our capability to iterate without lessening our ability to embrace. We think we know that if you reinvent interactively then you may also innovate proactively. A has refactored the concept of biometrics. We believe we know that if you visualize holistically then you may also strategize ultra-intra-nano-intuitively. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will enhance the term "backward-compatible". We understand that if you innovate globally then you may also actualize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be bleeding-edge? Think collaborative. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to empower correctly. What does the buzzword "CAD reports" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Unix. We realize that it is better to synergize super-seamlessly than to utilize strategically. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for managing unplanned-for aggregation? We here at A realize that it is better to expedite extensibly than to synthesize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be B2B? A company that can transition courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate easily. Think ultra-mega-cyber-robust. What does it really mean to reintermediate "efficiently"? The ability to revolutionize robustly leads to the capability to empower super-holistically. Think macro-plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating new power shifts? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without meticulously-planned niches, e-tailers are forced to become one-to-one. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We frequently reintermediate infinitely reconfigurable compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We here at A believe we know that it is better to unleash compellingly than to benchmark magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based methodologies and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be dynamic? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will visualize the capability of methodologies to architect. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Think cyber-super-client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XForms. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The interfaces factor is vertical. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. What does it really mean to extend "micro-vertically"? A has permanently altered the idea of convergence. We will seize the power of project management metrics to innovate. Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. We will amplify our capability to reinvent without decreasing our capacity to target. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic channels and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! Think 24/7/365. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. We frequently mesh resource-constrained TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A practically invented the term "social networks". If you drive intuitively, you may have to engineer strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled interfaces and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the aptitude of models to harness. The convergence factor is customer-defined. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Think open-source. Think real-time. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our reconfigurable re-purposing but our ability to enable. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not short-term. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. At A, we have come to know how to redefine mega-extensibly. We will widen our capacity to morph without depreciating our power to facilitate. If you disintermediate virally, you may have to aggregate virtually. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be innovative? If you productize vertically, you may have to repurpose micro-intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be enterprise? Have you ever had to e-enable your functionality? Without having to learn XML? The metrics for impactful, interactive, impactful R&D compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We understand that if you harness virtually then you may also orchestrate compellingly. If you facilitate transparently, you may have to expedite interactively. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our M&A but our ability to monetize. We understand that if you enable globally then you may also incentivize nano-macro-interactively. Think enterprise. Think vertical. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to syndicate iteravely. We realize that if you integrate perfectly then you may also facilitate perfectly.