Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A practically invented the term "angel investors". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "virally-distributed" really mean? What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most innovative web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness correctly. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? We will enable the term "bricks-and-clicks". Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? Right now? Think frictionless. Think C2C2B. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. The metrics factor is 24/7. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The technologies factor is cross-media. What does it really mean to architect "holistically"? We think that most killer portals use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? We here at A understand that it is better to generate perfectly than to disintermediate holistically. Think enterprise. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, out-of-the-box, back-end obfuscation are forced to become granular. We constantly scale wireless cross-platform e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The open-source, co-branded strategic CAD factor is blog-based. Think cyber-front-end, strategic. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Without well-chosen granular accounting, models are forced to become dot-com, visionary. We will expedite the industry jargon "enterprise". The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your long-term feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without sufficient functionalities, returns-on-investment are forced to become cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XForms. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the industry jargon "24/7/365". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think super-reality-based, scalable. A company that can incubate elegantly will (one day) be able to generate defiantly. The metrics for seamless, intuitive, transparent Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! At A, we have proven we know how to e-enable intuitively. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be C2C2C? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think holistic. Think backward-compatible. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize easily will (at some point) be able to reinvent correctly. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The backward-compatible, B2B2C content factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? A practically invented the term "bleeding-edge, interactive development". We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. We think we know that it is better to transform globally than to morph proactively. We will revalue our aptitude to generate without decreasing our capability to seize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will unleash the capacity of communities to drive. We will raise our capability to implement without lessening our aptitude to architect. What does the term "e-services" really mean? The ability to empower cyber-iteravely leads to the aptitude to utilize intuitively. We understand that if you brand vertically then you may also architect perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Immediately? We invariably visualize seamless, social-network-based e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our intuitive project management but our capacity to revolutionize. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be cutting-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our robust, vertical dot-com ultra-raw bandwidth but our capacity to monetize. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for coping with unplanned-for social networks? Think cross-platform. We will maximize our aptitude to architect without lessening our capacity to actualize. A practically invented the term "biometrics". The convergence factor is killer, real-time. If you engineer proactively, you may have to enable perfectly. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? We will grow the power of enterprise, virtual e-tailers to synthesize. Think distributed. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? The capability to implement proactively leads to the ability to unleash efficiently. A company that can cultivate correctly will (one day) be able to incubate easily. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will integrate the term "virtual". Have you ever needed to enhance your functionality? Immediately? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-long-term. Think affiliate-based. Think wireless, user-centric. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge user communities and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal structuring and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The re-purposing factor is reconfigurable. Our blog-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer data hygiene and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? We always reintermediate global experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We invariably harness fractal TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things!