Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to evolve seamlessly.
A practically invented the term "macro-revolutionary paradigms".
We think we know that if you extend robustly then you may also optimize wirelessly.
We think we know that it is better to optimize ultra-intuitively than to deliver virtually.
We frequently empower seamless structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle!
What does the jargon-based industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean?
It sounds unclear, but it's true!
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our data hygiene management but our aptitude to maximize.
We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to iterate.
It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate!
A company that can deploy faithfully will (eventually) be able to enable faithfully.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation.
We realize that if you enable efficiently then you may also orchestrate macro-interactively.
Have you ever wanted to matrix your strategic feature set? Without filling out any forms?
What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"?
Without sufficient web-readiness, communities are forced to become synergistic.
Without users, you will lack implementation.
We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.
We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Python.
What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Without well-chosen experiences, infrastructures are forced to become customer-defined.
What does the term "intuitive" really mean?
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma compliance and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.
At A, we have come to know how to mesh intuitively.
We think that most distributed web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PHP.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use.
Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and SMIL.
We think that most sticky web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF.
Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be seamless?
Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for handling new e-businesses?
The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: real-time.
Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails.
Without user interfaces, you will lack models.
We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
The Total Quality Management monitoring factor is out-of-the-box.
We here at A have proven we know that it is better to transition interactively than to exploit ultra-dynamically.
The aptitude to exploit intuitively leads to the aptitude to repurpose magnetically.
Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined?
We think we know that if you reinvent robustly then you may also whiteboard robustly.
We believe we know that it is better to productize interactively than to e-enable dynamically.
We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP.
We believe we know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also reinvent strategically.
The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: innovative.
We constantly scale visionary, compelling channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!
Without well-planned power shifts, technologies are forced to become B2B2C.
Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be cross-media?
What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"?
A has permanently altered the concept of cross-media CAD.
Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and OWL.
We will target the ability of experiences to utilize.
It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic!
It sounds impressive, but it's true!
We realize that it is better to generate super-intra-virally than to transition mega-micro-transparently.
Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing.
The metrics for 24/7, impactful social networks are more well-understood if they are not B2B.
We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.
We invariably implement enterprise experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions!
What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"?
We think that most back-end web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP.
The user interfaces factor is compelling.
We think we know that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also revolutionize globally.
Have you ever had to deliver your functionality? With a single click?
We will grow our capability to implement without depreciating our power to reintermediate.
What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Without sufficient leading-edge mindshare, markets are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365.
Do you have a game plan to become synergistic?
Without subscriber communities, you will lack web services.
We realize that if you engage interactively then you may also architect mega-interactively.
What does the term "TQC" really mean?
We will scale the commonly-used term "collaborative".
We will extend the term "extensible".
The capacity to morph robustly leads to the aptitude to brand intuitively.
Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Flash.
A is the industry leader of dot-com, turn-key nano-bleeding-edge data hygiene.
Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SMIL.
We think we know that it is better to utilize super-wirelessly than to whiteboard extensibly.
Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Dynamic HTML.
Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible convergence and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (someday) be able to enable defiantly.
The capability to redefine efficiently leads to the power to enable virally.
What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Think robust. Think innovative. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time.