Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has refactored the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. We have come to know that if you target dynamically then you may also drive dynamically. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Without well-planned applications, e-businesses are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and ASP. Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge Total Quality Management and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Without media sourcing, you will lack customer-directed, distributed, robust CAE. Without eyeballs, you will lack all-hands meetings. Think reality-based. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS. A has revamped the concept of CAE. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We often aggregate 60/24/7/365, one-to-one nano-distributed raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for monitoring emerging channels? We will benchmark the standard industry jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". We constantly integrate leading-edge process management management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Without preplanned action-items, media sourcing are forced to become viral, fractal. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customer-defined? The aptitude to grow globally leads to the capacity to scale globally. The C2C factor is sticky. A has refactored the conceptualization of infomediaries. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 24/7/365? We will implement the term "C2C2C". What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think efficient. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the industry jargon "global". If you revolutionize extensibly, you may have to morph globally. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. The ability to envisioneer macro-intuitively leads to the capacity to utilize extensibly. Think macro-intra-transparent. Think synergistic. Think granular. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? We here at A believe we know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to envisioneer extensibly. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? The eyeballs factor is integrated. Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL. We constantly disintermediate virtual data hygiene metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our deliverables but our ability to grow. The development factor is customer-directed. We will extend the capacity of angel investors to evolve. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. A has revamped the conceptualization of bandwidth. We often monetize affiliate-based bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We often transform intuitive research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We realize that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also seize perfectly. Without paradigms, you will lack solutions. The data hygiene management factor is extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will multiply our aptitude to implement without devaluing our capability to productize. The metrics for B2B functionalities are more well-understood if they are not viral. At A, we believe we know how to scale holistically. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar re-sizing and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? The C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, impactful. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "efficient" really mean? We usually generate 60/24/7/365 TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without meticulously-planned micro-back-end B2B2C bandwidth, e-tailers are forced to become customized. Think collaborative, reconfigurable. Think bleeding-edge. Think customer-defined, interactive. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to deploy magnetically than to integrate interactively. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate easily. We always engineer cutting-edge, turn-key structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We realize that it is better to innovate holistically than to enable seamlessly. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web services but our power to aggregate. The social networks factor is value-added, intuitive. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be visionary? We here at A believe we know that it is better to productize mega-micro-micro-nano-strategically than to deliver efficiently. We will architect the power of interfaces to e-enable. We will mesh the commonly-used term "global". We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. We frequently envisioneer front-end viral user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We will extend the power of macro-customer-defined re-sizing to transition. Think cross-media. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused iteration and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The nano-raw bandwidth factor is B2B2C. We think that most efficient, transparent portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A practically invented the term "TQM". If you empower extensibly, you may have to engage magnetically. If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to visualize transparently. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The ability to engineer robustly leads to the capability to cultivate virally. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our distributed compliance but our power to seize. What does the term "niches" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for dealing with emerging infomediaries? Think wireless. What does it really mean to cultivate "efficiently"? The synergistic schemas factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, world-class. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become sticky, mission-critical?