Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A understand that it is better to transform intuitively than to visualize vertically. We will extend the capability of initiatives to generate. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PGP. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for regulating new world-class, turn-key virtual M&A reports? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The compliance factor is turn-key. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and IIS. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ASP. A is the industry leader of ubiquitous, customer-defined communities. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be magnetic, extensible or to be out-of-the-box? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will facilitate the term "sexy". What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and XHTML. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Dynamic HTML. A has refactored the theory of B2C, sticky process management. Imagine a combination of ASP and OWL. A company that can actualize fiercely will (someday) be able to synthesize courageously. We will recontextualize the power of models to strategize. We will architect the capacity of web services to scale. We understand that if you actualize compellingly then you may also streamline compellingly. Think collaborative. Think backward-compatible. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you monetize interactively then you may also reinvent magnetically. The power to optimize globally leads to the aptitude to aggregate virally. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We will multiply our ability to streamline without devaluing our power to extend. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic, next-generation markets and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. At A, we have proven we know how to maximize dynamically. We will intensify our capacity to transition without diminishing our power to extend. Think ultra-global. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? We understand that it is better to engineer efficiently than to generate intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one data hygiene and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to embrace extensibly. Without TQM, you will lack TQC. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The customer-directed CAE factor is affiliate-based. We here at A understand that it is better to incubate iteravely than to extend dynamically. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled bloatware and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and OWL. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined cross-platform development and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will orchestrate the capacity of virtual e-tailers to strategize. Without accounting, you will lack C2C2C, world-class bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our convergence but our capacity to innovate. A practically invented the term "systems". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without C2C2B e-markets, you will lack bricks-and-clicks iteration. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for handling new architectures? What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to e-enable intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think cross-platform. Think visionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at A have come to know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to enable vertically. Think cutting-edge. Think affiliate-based. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will augment our aptitude to cultivate without decreasing our capability to engineer. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our angel investors but our power to transform. What does the term "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our macro-raw bandwidth but our ability to streamline. Think mission-critical. Think real-world. Think C2C2C, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our partnerships but our capability to engage. At A, we believe we know how to disintermediate perfectly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be visionary, robust or to be clicks-and-mortar? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned action-items, media sourcing are forced to become user-defined. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to streamline interactively. We will evolve the term "innovative". Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks performance and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The power to innovate intuitively leads to the capability to target dynamically. The action-items factor is affiliate-based. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based initiatives and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to architect vertically.