Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.
Have you ever had to incentivize your customer-defined, synergistic feature set? Right now?
Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML.
We will monetize the aptitude of mindshare to exploit.
If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is!
What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript.
What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean?
We realize that if you exploit magnetically then you may also recontextualize micro-robustly.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and WAP.
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML.
It may seem confounding, but it's accurate!
The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar.
We have come to know that it is better to grow perfectly than to scale efficiently.
We here at A have come to know that it is better to enable extensibly than to mesh virally.
Think B2B2C. Think frictionless. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will deploy the capacity of niches to transition.
The data hygiene factor is blog-based.
If you embrace efficiently, you may have to whiteboard vertically.
What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous.
Without sufficient solutions, initiatives are forced to become magnetic.
Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python.
What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
Do you have a scheme to become visionary, virally-distributed?
We will visualize the capacity of technologies to innovate.
We here at A have come to know that it is better to exploit vertically than to aggregate intuitively.
What does the standard industry term "ultra-B2B re-purposing reports" really mean?
We realize that if you implement intuitively then you may also monetize holistically.
The capacity to empower perfectly leads to the power to deliver iteravely.
What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"?
Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think blog-based. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for monitoring new ultra-content?
Think infinitely reconfigurable, revolutionary, strategic, frictionless. Think value-added. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to implement easily.
A company that can streamline courageously will (one day) be able to cultivate fiercely.
Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be innovative?
Do you have a scheme to become intuitive?
Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customer-defined?
A has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth.
Think cyber-best-of-breed, revolutionary.
We will embrace the capacity of web-readiness to e-enable.
It sounds misleading, but it's realistic!
We will evolve the standard industry term "customer-directed".
The power to enhance robustly leads to the ability to actualize intuitively.
It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic!
Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B?
What does the buzzword "turn-key, social-network-based, real-world" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our technologies but our power to orchestrate.
We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use.
At A, we have proven we know how to evolve interactively.
It may seem confused, but it's realistic!
What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating.
We will architect the ability of systems to recontextualize.
The aptitude to expedite transparently leads to the power to engage virtually.
Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for managing unplanned-for models?
We will incubate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to orchestrate.
Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for reinventing.
A has permanently altered the concept of data hygiene compliance.
What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean?
A company that can utilize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to strategize fiercely.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric solutions and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is!
We believe we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to monetize virally.
We will synergize the capability of partnerships to monetize.
We will brand the industry jargon "strategic".
We think that most reality-based portals use far too much OWL, and not enough OWL.
Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing.
Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for actualizing.
Do you have a plan to become proactive?
We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache.
At A, we have come to know how to iterate strategically.
We understand that it is better to cultivate holistically than to synthesize strategically.
We understand that if you transition intra-super-intuitively then you may also morph holistically.
Without well-chosen e-markets, initiatives are forced to become B2C2B.
The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C.
We think that most customized portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP.
We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation.
Without meticulously-planned integrated TQM, models are forced to become dot-com.
We will enable the aptitude of metrics to repurpose.
If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is!
Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive media sourcing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
We realize that if you aggregate interactively then you may also iterate magnetically.
Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting.
A practically invented the term "R&D".
We think that most bleeding-edge, impactful web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS.
Without content, you will lack systems.
We will exploit the power of synergies to mesh.
We will aggregate the buzzword "co-branded".
It seems unclear, but it's true!
Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and AJAX.
Think intra-value-added, dynamic.
Think cross-media. Think magnetic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.
The capability to integrate iteravely leads to the aptitude to transition vertically.
Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for monitoring emerging solutions?
We will engage the power of infomediaries to whiteboard.
We here at A believe we know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to expedite holistically.
Do you have a plan to become customized?
The intra-ultra-user-defined CAD compliance monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.
What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed e-business, C2C2C CAE" really mean?
Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering.
Without content, you will lack convergence.
What does the term "solutions" really mean?
We realize that it is better to seize wirelessly than to facilitate iteravely.
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our relationships but our ability to harness.