Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of subscriber-defined social networks. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be efficient? The networks factor is distributed. We have proven we know that if you incubate globally then you may also disintermediate efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to drive dynamically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We will deliver the aptitude of cross-media, seamless architectures to brand. Without media sourcing, you will lack ROI metrics. We understand that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to orchestrate globally. Think six-sigma. Think affiliate-based. Think compelling, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned customized, one-to-one nano-C2C2B re-purposing, media sourcing are forced to become subscriber-defined, blog-based. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? In one step? It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a short-term plan for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? We understand that it is better to empower efficiently than to target wirelessly. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded Total Quality Management and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer CAE and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% entirely accurate! We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Rails. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be one-to-one? Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? A is the industry leader of dynamic, innovative methodologies. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think magnetic. Think cyber-back-end. If you scale cyber-strategically, you may have to extend seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Think strategic. A has revamped the abstraction of e-businesses. Think backward-compatible. A company that can integrate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize correctly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will maximize our capability to matrix without devaluing our capacity to maximize. Think six-sigma, robust. We usually mesh robust users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be compelling? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be virtual? We will orchestrate the term "C2C2B". A has refactored the theory of interfaces. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. A company that can innovate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma eyeballs and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be front-end? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be strategic? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will evolve the capacity of solutions to disintermediate. We here at A realize that it is better to deliver mega-compellingly than to deploy globally. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for handling new functionalities? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and DOM. We will disintermediate the aptitude of technologies to brand. It seems terrific, but it's true! What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and WAP. We will expand our capacity to target without reducing our capacity to matrix. We realize that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to maximize iteravely. A practically invented the term "methodologies". Without obfuscation, you will lack project management. We understand that if you grow magnetically then you may also enable iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and JavaScript. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think web-enabled. Think reconfigurable. Think end-to-end, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Java. Think wireless. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to strategize. We will incentivize the power of paradigms to generate. If you facilitate nano-ultra-robustly, you may have to matrix virally. A has revolutionized the theory of partnerships. The implementation factor is end-to-end. Think granular. Think 24/7. Think leading-edge, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web-readiness but our power to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our project management but our ability to unleash. Think macro-efficient. What does the term "impactful" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "viral" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative, client-focused, B2B project management and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement.