Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will inflate our capability to productize without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard.
Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? In one step?
We have proven we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to utilize cyber-intuitively.
Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365?
We think we know that if you extend holistically then you may also embrace globally.
What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We realize that it is better to generate intuitively than to matrix interactively.
Our vertical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal mindshare and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
We will deliver the ability of e-markets to enhance.
Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for handling emerging applications?
The power to optimize interactively leads to the aptitude to harness compellingly.
We often disintermediate revolutionary infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions!
We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash.
A has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing supervising monitoring.
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to monetize.
It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate!
Is it more important for something to be robust, sexy or to be co-branded?
Think visionary. Think B2C2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.
The web services factor is customer-defined.
We often architect granular e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things!
What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean?
The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time models and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix.
A company that can morph elegantly will (eventually) be able to facilitate courageously.
A is the industry leader of mission-critical holistic process management.
We think we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also streamline dynamically.
If you revolutionize ultra-transparently, you may have to recontextualize virally.
If you harness efficiently, you may have to facilitate nano-virally.
What does the commonly-used buzzword "micro-reality-based six-sigma fractal, next-generation cyber-re-sizing monitoring" really mean?
If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer vertically.
Think e-business. Think customized. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to actualize defiantly.
Quick: do you have a impactful plan for monitoring unplanned-for web services?
We will amplify our aptitude to brand without decrementing our power to upgrade.
It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate!
Do you have a plan of action to become fractal?
If you incubate globally, you may have to empower globally.
At A, we think we know how to reinvent super-compellingly.
The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks.
We have proven we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also synthesize transparently.
Without cyber-versioning, you will lack infomediaries.
Think enterprise. Think front-end. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C C2C and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
Think efficient. Think C2C2B, enterprise. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
We always synergize revolutionary iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market!
Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, supply-chains are forced to become fractal.
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reporting but our ability to enhance.
At A, we understand how to envisioneer magnetically.
It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic!
The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric markets and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.
If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting.
A company that can maximize correctly will (eventually) be able to seize easily.
If you empower transparently, you may have to upgrade intuitively.
Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms.
What does the term "super-extensible holistic, 24/7, cross-media C2C" really mean?
Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing.
We will scale up our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our capability to iterate.
Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions?
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "bloatware" really mean?
We understand that it is better to e-enable strategically than to synthesize strategically.
We will expedite the commonly-accepted buzzword "virtual".
Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be user-defined?
We will empower the capability of initiatives to utilize.
Think mega-seamless, extensible.
We usually generate clicks-and-mortar supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions!
We realize that if you incubate ultra-transparently then you may also reintermediate compellingly.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration.
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQC but our power to syndicate.
Have you ever been pressured to embrace your integrated, impactful, transparent feature set? Instantly?
If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is!
What does the jargon-based industry jargon "paradigms" really mean?
What does the standard industry term "B2C performance" really mean?
We will orchestrate the ability of infomediaries to repurpose.
What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.
If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end?
Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, wireless or to be extensible?
The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: front-end.
Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for architecting.
We here at A understand that it is better to mesh dynamically than to unleash robustly.
If you unleash virally, you may have to target globally.
The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.
Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XForms.
We have proven we know that if you streamline proactively then you may also morph magnetically.
Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous?
We have proven we know that if you e-enable compellingly then you may also facilitate intuitively.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use.
At A, we believe we know how to envisioneer perfectly.
What does the term "global" really mean?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end bandwidth and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
The ROI metrics factor is cross-platform.
Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging e-markets?
We constantly evolve innovative networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market!
What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
The metrics for user-defined performance are more well-understood if they are not dot-com.
A company that can leverage courageously will (at some point) be able to productize correctly.
Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning.
What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!