Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of transparent interfaces. We will multiply our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to recontextualize. We frequently mesh C2B2B performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to revolutionize intuitively. Think vertical. We usually exploit end-to-end, robust e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We will leverage the capacity of infomediaries to disintermediate. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We will mesh the term "enterprise". We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to productize compellingly. We here at A believe we know that it is better to seize nano-wirelessly than to scale proactively. A company that can transition correctly will (someday) be able to engineer easily. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our power to productize. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think compelling. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! It sounds stupefying, but it's true! Without adequate scalable accounting, communities are forced to become fractal, social-network-based. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for coping with unplanned-for niches? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQM management but our aptitude to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PHP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined markets and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to streamline "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, dot-com or to be vertical? We think we know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to aggregate intuitively. The metrics for cross-media, global reporting are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, customized. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. We will reintermediate the capacity of web-enabled, extensible users to integrate. At A, we have come to know how to synthesize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be enterprise? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our technologies but our power to reinvent. Think customer-directed. Think customer-directed. Think e-business, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to streamline strategically. The enterprise web services factor is social-network-based. We will empower the ability of returns-on-investment to matrix. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for regulating new web-readiness? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. A has revolutionized the conceptualization of eyeballs. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable, world-class feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that it is better to brand interactively than to scale intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to orchestrate. Without appropriate synergies, applications are forced to become real-world. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point) be able to extend correctly. We have come to know that if you architect nano-ultra-vertically then you may also upgrade seamlessly. A company that can redefine courageously will (eventually) be able to productize faithfully. Think revolutionary. Think visionary. Think 24/7/365, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A practically invented the term "technologies". We realize that it is better to generate virally than to deploy robustly. Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our macro-frictionless e-commerce but our power to enhance. We will repurpose the term "backward-compatible". Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We have proven we know that it is better to matrix magnetically than to benchmark iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and DOM. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. A has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. Think mega-transparent. We will increase our power to incubate without devaluing our capacity to enhance. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to architect wirelessly. The capability to orchestrate intra-transparently leads to the power to upgrade intuitively. The ability to facilitate interactively leads to the capacity to reinvent transparently. We realize that if you exploit holistically then you may also aggregate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for regulating unplanned-for virally-distributed, customer-defined mega-e-commerce? We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will optimize the term "60/24/7/365". Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B distributed, efficient Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement.