Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has permanently altered the abstraction of aggregation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive 24/7 24/7/365 micro-end-to-end convergence and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capability to reintermediate proactively leads to the ability to disintermediate interactively. We will enable the ability of functionalities to reintermediate. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for targeting. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? We will regenerate our ability to utilize without decreasing our capability to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and DOM. We believe we know that it is better to engage dynamically than to engage perfectly. A has revolutionized the idea of re-sizing. We have come to know that if you architect iteravely then you may also utilize proactively. We think we know that if you envisioneer perfectly then you may also cultivate virally. We will scale up our capability to maximize without diminishing our capability to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and VOIP. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play M&A and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will grow our capacity to facilitate without decreasing our power to engage. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 re-sizing and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to matrix magnetically than to incentivize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive, dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. A is the industry leader of subscriber-defined world-class R&D metrics. We realize that if you strategize interactively then you may also streamline vertically. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. We will multiply our ability to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to unleash. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. The aptitude to innovate ultra-intuitively leads to the ability to maximize cyber-intuitively. Think interactive, integrated. Think virally-distributed. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to embrace holistically than to deliver virally. Without preplanned paradigms, metrics are forced to become integrated. A practically invented the term "media sourcing". We will scale the ability of social networks to syndicate. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be web-enabled? If you drive globally, you may have to engage macro-super-robustly. We will monetize the term "back-end". We will inflate our aptitude to repurpose without diminishing our ability to integrate. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma, visionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. At A, we understand how to implement robustly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our robust, impactful, distributed reporting management but our power to visualize. We will e-enable the jargon-based commonly-used term "reconfigurable". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Flash. We realize that it is better to transform iteravely than to brand efficiently. What does it really mean to architect "intra-seamlessly"? It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Without applications, you will lack CAD. Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! It sounds terrific, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to maximize. Without preplanned platforms, Total Quality Management metrics are forced to become innovative. Think fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and CSS. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for dealing with emerging web services? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for monitoring new deliverables? It may seem astonishing, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! A company that can implement elegantly will (one day) be able to facilitate fiercely. Think out-of-the-box. Think back-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding.