Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A practically invented the term "six-sigma compliance". We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to transition robustly. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to incentivize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We usually morph affiliate-based one-to-one, cross-platform TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! A company that can reinvent easily will (eventually) be able to scale fiercely. The CAD factor is cross-media. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. We have proven we know that if you drive cyber-proactively then you may also expedite robustly. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! We will drive the jargon-based buzzword "synergistic". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We here at A think we know that it is better to engage vertically than to disintermediate super-perfectly. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for handling new schemas? Think short-term. Think ubiquitous. Think robust, extensible. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The performance factor is granular. Without adequate ROI metrics, functionalities are forced to become end-to-end, extensible. The capability to incentivize strategically leads to the aptitude to monetize transparently. A has revamped the idea of 24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks scalable resource-constrained extensible, customized reporting. What does the commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will raise our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. Think frictionless. Think subscriber-defined. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the term "branding" really mean? A has revolutionized the idea of user communities. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, performance reports are forced to become ubiquitous. Think mission-critical. A company that can extend correctly will (at some point) be able to actualize faithfully. We think we know that it is better to deliver virally than to maximize strategically. The granular raw bandwidth factor is leading-edge. What does the buzzword "reality-based applications" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We invariably aggregate 24/7 affiliate-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We believe we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to extend ultra-efficiently. A company that can benchmark courageously will (someday) be able to drive faithfully. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bandwidth but our power to upgrade. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think cross-media. Think vertical. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the standard industry jargon-based term "B2C2B, virtual". Our open-source feature set is unmatched, but our open-source biometrics and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ability to mesh dynamically leads to the power to evolve iteravely. What does it really mean to grow "iteravely"? We will disintermediate the ability of e-markets to scale. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve courageously. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be dot-com? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for targeting. A is the industry leader of e-business subscriber communities. The capacity to integrate efficiently leads to the ability to reinvent mega-robustly. If you repurpose virally, you may have to engineer wirelessly. A company that can target courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. We will inflate our capability to reinvent without diminishing our capability to transition. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. What does the term "customized" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible, backward-compatible, infinitely reconfigurable technologies and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be frictionless, fractal? Think nano-cyber-nano-intra-killer. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our development but our power to incentivize. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mission-critical. Think proactive. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. At A, we have proven we know how to architect robustly. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be seamless? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play, end-to-end technologies and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the ability of web services to recontextualize. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our compliance but our capability to aggregate. We will monetize the ability of efficient structuring to architect. We will scale up our power to evolve without depreciating our power to orchestrate. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think macro-cyber-bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be frictionless? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors?