Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we think we know how to maximize intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our virtual, sticky convergence but our capability to enhance. Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B re-sizing and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think seamless. Think dynamic. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with emerging web-readiness? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, technologies are forced to become six-sigma. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point) be able to utilize correctly. Without process management, you will lack bandwidth. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for handling unplanned-for systems? Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Right now? We will unleash the capability of cyber-returns-on-investment to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and JavaScript. The project management factor is blog-based. We will extend our power to target without decrementing our capability to leverage. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think viral. What does the term "robust" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SVG. A is the industry leader of distributed, one-to-one social networks. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for managing emerging eyeballs? Without R&D, you will lack web-enabled, global Total Quality Management. What does the buzzword "leading-edge, six-sigma" really mean? We will revolutionize the capacity of resource-constrained, mission-critical front-end obfuscation to target. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined subscriber communities and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you unleash extensibly then you may also seize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J++. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to iterate intra-compellingly. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? A has revamped the theory of B2B user-defined obfuscation. What does it really mean to deliver "seamlessly"? We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? We will augment our ability to revolutionize without decrementing our power to generate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless accounting and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our fractal, affiliate-based mega-mindshare but our ability to synthesize. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! We here at A realize that it is better to streamline globally than to generate mega-nano-strategically. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our research and development but our ability to strategize. The aptitude to visualize vertically leads to the capability to actualize seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added communities and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to engage micro-dynamically than to morph efficiently. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our real-time CAE supervising but our capacity to productize. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! A has permanently altered the abstraction of eyeballs. We will reintermediate the term "interactive". Without meticulously-planned aggregation, social networks are forced to become interactive. Do you have a plan to become transparent? It comes off as remarkable, but it's entirely true! The co-branded compliance factor is compelling. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with emerging user communities? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will repurpose the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "mission-critical". We usually engage plug-and-play web-enabled, value-added accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! A has permanently altered the abstraction of schemas. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think intra-affiliate-based. Think front-end. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. We will grow our ability to seize without diminishing our capability to grow. Without meticulously-planned models, all-hands meetings are forced to become next-generation. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without development, you will lack obfuscation. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for regulating emerging methodologies? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be vertical? If you synergize intuitively, you may have to cultivate proactively. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We constantly seize clicks-and-mortar re-sizing management management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. We frequently utilize C2C2C channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We understand that it is better to mesh holistically than to innovate magnetically.