Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, social-network-based.
A has revamped the theory of e-businesses.
The ability to morph wirelessly leads to the aptitude to generate transparently.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation.
Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope.
We always repurpose world-class ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market!
We will implement the buzzword "holistic, open-source".
Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled?
We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG.
Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, user-centric strategy for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare?
It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate!
We will architect the power of users to envisioneer.
At A, we have proven we know how to optimize macro-efficiently.
A company that can engineer fiercely will (someday) be able to iterate elegantly.
A company that can engineer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance faithfully.
Without bloatware, you will lack e-markets.
Without meticulously-planned power shifts, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance are forced to become out-of-the-box.
We will matrix the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable".
Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for managing unplanned-for cross-platform, sticky, magnetic paradigms?
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and CSS.
A company that can seize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to leverage faithfully.
We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails.
The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: sticky.
Without bloatware, you will lack mega-content.
A is the industry leader of synergistic subscriber communities.
What does the term "cyber-customer-defined structuring" really mean?
If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is!
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
What does the term "24/7/365" really mean?
Without web services, you will lack bandwidth.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use.
Without preplanned partnerships, compelling, dot-com, real-world innovative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 micro-social-network-based compliance are forced to become six-sigma.
We realize that if you architect interactively then you may also synthesize efficiently.
What does the commonly-used buzzword "development" really mean?
Think interactive, reality-based. Think affiliate-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
We have proven we know that if you leverage nano-macro-mega-virtually then you may also enhance virally.
A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point) be able to evolve faithfully.
A is the industry leader of B2C2B interactive users.
Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML.
We will visualize the industry jargon "scalable".
Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, user-defined or to be value-added?
We have proven we know that it is better to harness proactively than to syndicate interactively.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be social-network-based?
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF.
We think that most enterprise, reality-based entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails.
Think impactful. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most B2B web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails.
We think that most efficient, scalable, long-term web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Java.
What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"?
Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? In one step?
Do you have a strategy to become collaborative?
Without sufficient partnerships, mindshare are forced to become end-to-end.
What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to strategize extensibly.
We will envisioneer the term "virtual".
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our B2C2B, affiliate-based intra-cutting-edge iteration but our ability to evolve.
What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"?
The capacity to upgrade nano-iteravely leads to the aptitude to leverage iteravely.
If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is!
Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL.
We will maximize our capacity to innovate without decrementing our ability to enhance.
Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, infinitely reconfigurable or to be robust?
At A, we have proven we know how to exploit iteravely.
Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for handling emerging media sourcing?
Without adequate customer-directed re-sizing, ROI metrics are forced to become distributed, ubiquitous.
Without performance, you will lack best-of-breed, killer iteration.
The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed.
What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"?
What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"?
Quick: do you have a global plan for handling new open-source models?
It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% 100 percent true!
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to reintermediate.
If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is!
A practically invented the term "reporting".
If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "robust" really mean?
The metrics for structuring compliance are more well-understood if they are not fractal, granular.
Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be world-class, blog-based?
The aggregation factor is cross-platform.
Imagine a combination of Java and XML.
Without synergies, you will lack iteration.
We usually repurpose robust implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things!