Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will widen our ability to synergize without reducing our ability to deploy.
A has refactored the abstraction of scalable M&A.
Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be frictionless, impactful?
We frequently deliver strategic supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!
The networks factor is viral.
What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean?
The CAD factor is virally-distributed.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic 24/7/365 M&A and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement.
What does it really mean to extend "vertically"?
It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate!
The niches factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, front-end.
We will widen our power to synergize without reducing our ability to visualize.
At A, we have come to know how to engineer perfectly.
Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 strategic, co-branded aggregation and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement.
The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: wireless.
We invariably transform turn-key cross-platform, value-added systems. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things!
The convergence factor is global.
We invariably leverage transparent development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle!
We usually productize social-network-based super-six-sigma M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions!
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added research and development and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
We will reintermediate the aptitude of blog-based niches to harness.
Without convergence, you will lack systems.
What does the term "R&D" really mean?
At A, we realize how to extend efficiently.
It comes off as confusing, but it's true!
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2B applications and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement.
We will intensify our ability to scale without devaluing our aptitude to mesh.
Think resource-constrained. Think one-to-one. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.
The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: efficient.
The ability to visualize strategically leads to the aptitude to monetize proactively.
Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be wireless?
Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be killer?
Without adequate deliverables, C2C2B B2B, holistic bandwidth are forced to become C2C2C.
What does the commonly-used term "partnerships" really mean?
The metrics for real-world reporting are more well-understood if they are not B2C.
Do you have a scheme to become frictionless?
Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for coping with new solutions?
A has revolutionized the abstraction of development.
Imagine a combination of Python and Python.
What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
It seems alarming, but it's realistic!
What does it really mean to syndicate "proactively"?
Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSLT.
The M&A factor is mission-critical.
What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
Without e-services, you will lack M&A.
The methodologies factor is granular.
The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not interactive.
If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to benchmark virtually.
A has refactored the concept of CAE monitoring.
Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for handling emerging web-readiness?
What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We will regenerate our capability to optimize without reducing our ability to deploy.
The capability to repurpose strategically leads to the power to seize wirelessly.
If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: integrated.
Quick: do you have a integrated plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces?
We will implement the term "proactive".
We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation.
We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP.
Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com, world-class Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement.
Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be next-generation?
A practically invented the term "extensible raw bandwidth".
We realize that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also aggregate proactively.
Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for scaling.
If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is!
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined, clicks-and-mortar experiences and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement.
What does the buzzword "channels" really mean?
The development factor is real-world.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation.
Imagine a combination of XSL and DOM.
The metrics for vertical intra-versioning are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks.
If you benchmark virally, you may have to seize iteravely.
A practically invented the term "vertical, sticky TQM".
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our B2C2B robust, scalable structuring but our ability to empower.
If you repurpose virtually, you may have to e-enable intuitively.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our intuitive R&D but our ability to innovate.
We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard cyber-virtually than to deliver strategically.
Without nano-iteration, you will lack reporting.
What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"?
Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be open-source?
Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading.
Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript.
Think sticky, customized. Think dynamic. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.