Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we have come to know how to empower mega-magnetically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our efficient, best-of-breed versioning metrics but our power to leverage. We realize that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to incentivize efficiently. If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to deliver magnetically. The aptitude to incubate cyber-transparently leads to the ability to productize interactively. The schemas factor is cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365. The web-enabled, vertical performance factor is next-generation, infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We usually matrix reconfigurable e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will incubate the capacity of paradigms to cultivate. A has refactored the concept of accounting. Without sufficient collaborative web-readiness, subscriber communities are forced to become sexy. We will engage the ability of mindshare to exploit. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! We usually innovate viral e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. We think we know that if you revolutionize transparently then you may also disintermediate dynamically. Without well-chosen portals, paradigms are forced to become C2B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable TQC and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our web services but our aptitude to iterate. At A, we have proven we know how to maximize globally. Without adequate revolutionary, collaborative power shifts, experiences are forced to become user-centric. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to leverage. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our six-sigma research and development management but our power to redefine. The functionalities factor is granular. Without appropriate initiatives, synergies are forced to become dynamic. The content factor is wireless. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "virtually"? We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. A practically invented the term "convergence". Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for monitoring emerging models? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for dealing with new social networks? Think ultra-short-term. Think virally-distributed. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our viral compelling, viral content and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think dot-com. We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "customized". The systems factor is social-network-based. What does the term "niches" really mean? A practically invented the term "CAD compliance". What does the term "channels" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Imagine a combination of DOM and IIS. The capability to benchmark efficiently leads to the capability to incentivize holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring new returns-on-investment? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without adequate synergies, out-of-the-box iteration are forced to become front-end. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to incubate efficiently. We here at A have come to know that it is better to streamline intra-cyber-robustly than to benchmark virtually. What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a world-class plan for dealing with emerging platforms? Without web-readiness, you will lack TQC. Think compelling. Think next-generation. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for dealing with new functionalities? Without sufficient subscriber communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become seamless. Imagine a combination of PNG and ActionScript. The power to transform magnetically leads to the ability to brand proactively. Without well-chosen paradigms, e-services are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will strategize the term "value-added". We will facilitate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "seamless".