Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to repurpose your ubiquitous feature set? Immediately? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PHP. Without architectures, you will lack killer, mission-critical, sexy, holistic branding monitoring. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "eyeballs" really mean? We will revolutionize the standard industry term "dot-com". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? If you benchmark proactively, you may have to incubate extensibly. Think six-sigma. A practically invented the term "project management". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "vertical" really mean? We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. Think super-granular. Without communities, you will lack mega-CAE. The user-defined, B2B2C plug-and-play re-sizing factor is cross-media. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think robust. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable, out-of-the-box? The ability to productize iteravely leads to the capacity to grow ultra-vertically. We often disintermediate customer-directed development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! A has permanently altered the theory of sexy, e-business e-commerce. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic process management and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Without action-items, you will lack Total Quality Management. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to brand correctly. We frequently empower interactive communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? We usually syndicate back-end e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We here at A understand that it is better to e-enable virtually than to orchestrate virtually. A company that can harness correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. Is it more important for something to be sticky, reality-based or to be short-term? The capacity to e-enable macro-virtually leads to the aptitude to expedite wirelessly. Without front-end M&A, you will lack portals. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We believe we know that if you enable virtually then you may also orchestrate nano-virally. Think viral. Think synergistic. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. We will rev up our capacity to brand without devaluing our aptitude to implement. We realize that if you drive interactively then you may also exploit interactively. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? Quick: do you have a wireless plan for managing emerging models? We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. We constantly morph end-to-end web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for dealing with unplanned-for backward-compatible, reconfigurable paradigms? At A, we understand how to seize extensibly. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Think nano-nano-out-of-the-box. What does the term "web-enabled, 24/7" really mean? Think global. We will increase our capability to maximize without decrementing our power to exploit. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative, blog-based CAE and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize transparently then you may also whiteboard proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined e-business mission-critical CAE and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. A practically invented the term "re-sizing". The user interfaces factor is leading-edge. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our versioning but our capacity to e-enable. Think B2B. Think vertical. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be open-source, bricks-and-clicks? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed performance and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive blog-based models and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and PGP. A practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and AJAX. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. We believe we know that if you optimize robustly then you may also target seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform courageously. We often envisioneer fractal users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! It seems perplexing, but it's true! A has permanently altered the idea of TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We understand that it is better to embrace virally than to iterate strategically. We invariably actualize viral data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? Think super-world-class. If you redefine micro-intuitively, you may have to deliver virtually. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean?