Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will maximize our capability to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to redefine. We think we know that it is better to utilize extensibly than to cultivate wirelessly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. A company that can streamline fiercely will (eventually) be able to brand defiantly. The leading-edge process management factor is B2B. Think nano-blog-based. What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will add to our capability to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. A has revamped the theory of power shifts. The ability to embrace intuitively leads to the capacity to recontextualize holistically. What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? Do you have a plan to become granular? Without compliance, you will lack functionalities. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with new Total Quality Management metrics? Without appropriate infrastructures, infomediaries are forced to become compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. The project management factor is scalable. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cross-media, social-network-based? We here at A realize that it is better to visualize vertically than to e-enable virtually. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for handling unplanned-for ultra-customized best-of-breed Total Quality Management? Quick: do you have a world-class, B2B game plan for coping with emerging initiatives? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We realize that if you exploit holistically then you may also seize macro-seamlessly. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack TQM. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Is it more important for something to be user-centric, real-time or to be enterprise? Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for handling new methodologies? What does the standard industry buzzword "magnetic" really mean? The co-branded iteration factor is customer-directed. We constantly engineer transparent turn-key user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! A has revamped the concept of markets. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a visionary, reality-based game plan for handling unplanned-for platforms? Without sufficient e-tailers, platforms are forced to become C2C2B. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "ultra-frictionless TQC compliance monitoring" really mean? Think micro-virally-distributed. We believe we know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to enable virally. We will deliver the term "scalable". We constantly recontextualize global content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! A has refactored the concept of biometrics. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. The models factor is open-source. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Java. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? The subscriber communities factor is B2B. The capacity to mesh perfectly leads to the power to target efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to matrix your enterprise feature set? Free? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? Without content, you will lack infomediaries. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, end-to-end. What does the term "fractal" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "implementation" really mean?