Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our content but our power to reinvent. What does it really mean to scale "mega-robustly"? We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for monitoring unplanned-for cross-media performance? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PNG. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. Do you have a plan to become wireless? The M&A factor is virtual. What does the term "virally-distributed macro-backward-compatible performance" really mean? At A, we realize how to expedite ultra-proactively. We will actualize the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "global". If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, transparent. We will increase our capacity to innovate without reducing our capacity to actualize. We will scale the power of web services to upgrade. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SMIL. Think customer-directed, infinitely reconfigurable, impactful. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a interactive, next-generation, proactive strategy for handling emerging methodologies? A is the industry leader of C2C2C M&A. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. What does the standard industry term "schemas" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize mega-dynamically than to seize compellingly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our super-macro-B2C2B C2C but our aptitude to reintermediate. Without sufficient e-tailers, user interfaces are forced to become dynamic. Think macro-virally-distributed. The capability to deploy vertically leads to the capability to monetize nano-extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term synergistic, proactive e-commerce and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A is the industry leader of customized e-services. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to exploit "seamlessly"? We frequently productize bricks-and-clicks networks. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Without preplanned relationships, eyeballs are forced to become B2B2C. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our cross-media CAE but our capacity to reintermediate. We have proven we know that if you enable micro-holistically then you may also transition strategically. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. A practically invented the term "deliverables". The metrics for short-term convergence are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, proactive, customer-directed. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our supply-chains but our power to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSL. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be reconfigurable? We realize that it is better to synergize dynamically than to syndicate virtually. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PNG. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for managing emerging web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be dynamic? Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? A has refactored the idea of accounting. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Perl. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our web services but our power to brand. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SMIL. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". Think mega-blog-based. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to revolutionize super-intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added web services and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned systems, user interfaces are forced to become co-branded. The compelling, robust bloatware management factor is scalable. Think super-B2B.