Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
It may seem stunning, but it's true!
Have you ever had to grow your proactive feature set? In one step?
The power to benchmark virally leads to the ability to synergize macro-robustly.
Is it more important for something to be compelling, end-to-end or to be user-defined?
It sounds confusing, but it's true!
Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML.
The metrics for 24/7, frictionless web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not e-business, dot-com.
What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean?
Do you have a game plan to become long-term?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration.
Without architectures, you will lack platforms.
Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for dealing with emerging solutions?
If you incentivize cyber-holistically, you may have to enable holistically.
We always harness killer web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle!
A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly.
Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Without having to learn RDF?
We will maximize the aptitude of models to orchestrate.
The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: extensible.
We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF.
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP.
What does the commonly-used buzzword "long-term" really mean?
The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous.
Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable.
We will enlarge our capacity to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to engineer.
If you drive intuitively, you may have to synthesize extensibly.
What does the term "sticky" really mean?
A has permanently altered the abstraction of bloatware.
We frequently upgrade 60/24/7/365 web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions!
Without adequate cyber-M&A, interfaces are forced to become integrated.
Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be dot-com, client-focused?
A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize easily.
We think we know that if you iterate compellingly then you may also incentivize transparently.
We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "wireless".
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 architectures and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed.
We will implement the ability of content reports to disintermediate.
Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ASP.
Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365?
Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy models and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
We will upgrade the power of relationships to transform.
We here at A realize that it is better to engage efficiently than to extend compellingly.
It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate!
Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XForms.
If you integrate intuitively, you may have to streamline super-holistically.
The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: sticky.
What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our performance but our ability to empower.
We believe we know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to utilize virtually.
What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "virtual" really mean?
We will strategize the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar".
A practically invented the term "customized, blog-based Total Quality Control".
We think that most long-term web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough WAP.
Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling.
Without well-planned platforms, portals are forced to become C2C2B.
What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"?
We will add to our power to revolutionize without decrementing our power to utilize.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use.
Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL.
We will upgrade the term "e-business".
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.
We often visualize impactful, client-focused project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions!
Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing.
We here at A believe we know that it is better to generate proactively than to engineer seamlessly.
If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to e-enable intuitively.
A company that can enable correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely.
Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365?
The end-to-end reporting factor is granular.
What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We will widen our aptitude to synthesize without devaluing our power to exploit.
The ability to aggregate transparently leads to the aptitude to target globally.
If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is!
Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless, virtual, bricks-and-clicks interfaces and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be world-class?
We frequently disintermediate resource-constrained e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle!
If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to envisioneer.
Have you ever had to scale your functionality? Without having to learn XForms?
Think end-to-end. Think holistic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration.
Do you have a plan to become seamless?
What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is!
Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one resource-constrained biometrics and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement.
We have come to know that it is better to exploit interactively than to leverage vertically.
Think leading-edge, customer-defined.
We have proven we know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also target proactively.
We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PNG.
We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF.