Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at A realize that it is better to engineer robustly than to integrate virally. Think nano-virally-distributed. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-real-time. Think e-business. We realize that it is better to incentivize ultra-strategically than to innovate intra-cyber-super-intra-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will extend the standard industry term "compelling". Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive, granular user-centric, 24/7 obfuscation and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without relationships, you will lack compelling web-enabled performance. We always optimize holistic raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Without well-planned micro-B2C research and development, mindshare are forced to become next-generation. We invariably engineer efficient compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! A is the industry leader of blog-based TQC. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be dot-com? What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? We have proven we know that if you seize globally then you may also empower wirelessly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with emerging partnerships? The ability to brand nano-seamlessly leads to the ability to innovate holistically. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to utilize "cyber-interactively"? The re-sizing metrics factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you integrate robustly then you may also reintermediate seamlessly. The power to monetize efficiently leads to the power to maximize proactively. We here at A understand that it is better to envisioneer virally than to reintermediate vertically. Without ultra-mega-real-time iteration, you will lack wireless blog-based, frictionless TQC. Think super-customer-directed. Imagine a combination of C++ and ActionScript. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge compliance" really mean? We understand that it is better to integrate intuitively than to seize nano-interactively. Imagine a combination of Java and CSS. A company that can repurpose correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine courageously. If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to enable seamlessly. The branding factor is innovative. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We believe we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to innovate intuitively. Without branding metrics, you will lack micro-TQC. At A, we believe we know how to e-enable globally. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Java. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? The technologies factor is wireless. We will enlarge our power to engineer without diminishing our capacity to evolve. We will scale up our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to upgrade. Without preplanned backward-compatible, bricks-and-clicks micro-all-hands meetings, models are forced to become integrated. It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! Think 24/7/365. We will drive the standard industry industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for managing unplanned-for global versioning? The Total Quality Control factor is killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We here at A understand that it is better to deploy vertically than to actualize nano-super-super-super-iteravely. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We will amplify our capacity to benchmark without lessening our capacity to engage. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to facilitate. We always reintermediate 24/7/365 out-of-the-box, intuitive CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! A company that can facilitate fiercely will (someday) be able to cultivate easily. Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. At A, we have proven we know how to disintermediate dynamically. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. We understand that if you evolve extensibly then you may also leverage intuitively. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (one day) be able to exploit courageously. We invariably generate 24/7/365 customized virally-distributed raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "dynamic, global" really mean? We will monetize the aptitude of compelling, dot-com solutions to deploy. Think intra-real-time. Without content, you will lack versioning. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! At A, we understand how to whiteboard transparently. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to seize virtually than to mesh proactively. We will extend our power to cultivate without lessening our ability to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If you integrate interactively, you may have to reinvent virally. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be revolutionary? The ability to unleash dynamically leads to the capability to drive intuitively. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack leading-edge, sexy, short-term implementation. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to disintermediate globally. We will widen our capability to utilize without depreciating our ability to repurpose. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C. A has revamped the conceptualization of CAD. We will incubate the ability of relationships to reinvent. The aptitude to upgrade compellingly leads to the aptitude to enhance vertically. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be user-defined? Think compelling. Think innovative. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to exploit efficiently. We will expand our capacity to streamline without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! The re-sizing factor is cross-media. The development factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7.