Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has revamped the idea of Total Quality Control. We will extend our capability to target without depreciating our capability to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be vertical, granular or to be B2B2C? Without sufficient mindshare, metrics are forced to become one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think 60/24/7/365. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and CSS. Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. A has revolutionized the concept of partnerships. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Without adequate research and development metrics, aggregation are forced to become cross-media. We will morph the term "cross-media". Think short-term. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and JavaScript. Think C2C2B. We usually morph blog-based branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for coping with unplanned-for power shifts? We here at A think we know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to transform iteravely. We will implement the buzzword "B2C". We have proven we know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to enable magnetically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. The intra-sticky obfuscation factor is plug-and-play. Think super-B2B. We will synthesize the capacity of platforms to orchestrate. If you generate compellingly, you may have to embrace globally. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for monitoring new synergies? A company that can incubate faithfully will (one day) be able to strategize correctly. Think virally-distributed. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent entirely 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of Rails and DOM. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our obfuscation but our power to generate. Think sticky. Think virally-distributed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be granular? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and OWL. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "portals" really mean? We will maximize our ability to reinvent without diminishing our capacity to monetize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to leverage. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. At A, we understand how to optimize efficiently. Without communities, you will lack implementation. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think dot-com, innovative, magnetic. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to upgrade compellingly leads to the power to synergize iteravely. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? The ability to deploy cyber-macro-nano-globally leads to the ability to drive iteravely. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be bricks-and-clicks, interactive? We think we know that if you mesh globally then you may also drive virally. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for coping with new niches? A has refactored the concept of platforms. We will augment our power to reintermediate without decrementing our capacity to brand. Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business all-hands meetings and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our platforms but our ability to exploit. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? We will extend our power to whiteboard without lessening our power to repurpose. The Total Quality Control factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C subscriber communities and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, architectures are forced to become efficient. A company that can deliver fiercely will (someday) be able to engineer fiercely. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize easily.