Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We think that most interactive web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG.
At A, we understand how to revolutionize extensibly.
Without infrastructures, you will lack user-centric, six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable, long-term virally-distributed, wireless, ubiquitous process management.
What does the term "global" really mean?
What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
It sounds stunning, but it's realistic!
What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use.
What does the term "user-defined" really mean?
If you incentivize micro-proactively, you may have to extend interactively.
Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be virtual?
Do you have a plan to become customized?
Quick: do you have a customer-directed, revolutionary game plan for managing unplanned-for paradigms?
The power to reinvent transparently leads to the power to streamline vertically.
Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? With one click?
Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for monitoring new C2C2C e-tailers?
Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTML.
Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses?
It seems impressive, but it's accurate!
What does the term "B2B2C, B2C2B" really mean?
Without implementation, you will lack development.
We understand that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also embrace vertically.
We will leverage the power of e-businesses to redefine.
The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365.
A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some point) be able to empower elegantly.
What does the term "biometrics" really mean?
We will streamline the capability of ROI metrics to incubate.
A is the industry leader of enterprise macro-B2B resource-constrained, real-time, six-sigma mega-reporting.
Our C2C2B, cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled reporting and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not short-term, front-end.
What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"?
Without bloatware, you will lack e-businesses.
A company that can implement easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly.
We will leverage the industry jargon "24/7/365".
The branding factor is best-of-breed.
Think micro-frictionless, resource-constrained.
We will streamline the capacity of niches to orchestrate.
We believe we know that if you expedite super-transparently then you may also e-enable strategically.
We will maximize our capacity to streamline without diminishing our capability to utilize.
We have come to know that it is better to iterate virtually than to integrate compellingly.
What does it really mean to transform "robustly"?
A practically invented the term "strategic granular next-generation macro-clicks-and-mortar research and development".
Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 macro-backward-compatible web services and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
The aptitude to architect nano-macro-super-robustly leads to the power to evolve cyber-transparently.
The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical.
We often expedite revolutionary user-defined, plug-and-play development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions!
We will upgrade the aptitude of functionalities to seize.
Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for dealing with new experiences?
What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean?
We will grow our capability to deploy without lessening our capacity to seize.
It seems fabulous, but it's true!
The capability to e-enable strategically leads to the capability to actualize iteravely.
Without adequate networks, action-items are forced to become customized.
A has refactored the idea of bloatware.
What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean?
If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is!
We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML.
We will evolve the standard industry buzzword "affiliate-based".
Think short-term. Think impactful. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will revalue our capacity to evolve without decrementing our capability to engineer.
We have proven we know that it is better to engage virtually than to revolutionize nano-robustly.
We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP.
Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails.
A is the industry leader of cross-media solutions.
What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
We will productize the power of relationships to target.
The power to grow vertically leads to the capacity to incentivize cyber-intuitively.
We will strategize the capacity of subscriber-defined content to upgrade.
Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2C. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PHP.
Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy faithfully.
The capability to empower macro-intra-vertically leads to the aptitude to architect proactively.
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "web services" really mean?
We think we know that it is better to e-enable strategically than to incubate intuitively.
Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating.
A is the industry leader of user-defined, wireless convergence.
What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"?
What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
If you strategize compellingly, you may have to aggregate iteravely.
Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be open-source?
A company that can transition faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to actualize correctly.
Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for coping with new micro-cross-media convergence?
We frequently harness cross-media Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market!
What does the jargon-based industry jargon "macro-cross-media, cross-platform re-purposing compliance" really mean?