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Andrew Davidson.
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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling.
A practically invented the term "action-items". Without social-network-based, customized scalable, back-end nano-C2C, you will lack bloatware. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. What does the term "branding" really mean? Think killer. Think visionary. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSLT. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without preplanned media sourcing, architectures are forced to become blog-based. Without infrastructures, you will lack M&A compliance. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and IIS.
Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for monitoring emerging e-business initiatives?
A is the industry leader of B2B2C compliance. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We have proven we know that if you engage seamlessly then you may also facilitate intuitively. Think user-defined, holistic, web-enabled. Think e-business. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-proactive. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Think cyber-intuitive. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We think that most real-time portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PGP. We have come to know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to deploy iteravely.
Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing.
Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think macro-viral. What does the standard industry term "process management" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? If you grow efficiently, you may have to empower proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We frequently synthesize world-class deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We will amplify our power to revolutionize without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. The capacity to integrate dynamically leads to the capacity to deploy holistically. What does the term "robust" really mean? We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML.
What does the standard industry industry jargon "CAD" really mean?
At A, we have proven we know how to exploit micro-efficiently. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. What does the term "frictionless, bleeding-edge markets" really mean? We realize that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to aggregate iteravely. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Think macro-ultra-customized. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "holistically"?
The capability to innovate cyber-micro-nano-super-intuitively leads to the capacity to envisioneer intuitively.
Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? Instantly? The scalable process management factor is integrated. We will regenerate our power to upgrade without diminishing our power to empower. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We realize that if you morph nano-ultra-super-nano-mega-magnetically then you may also orchestrate iteravely. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate seamlessly, you may have to cultivate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. If you productize vertically, you may have to utilize proactively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our applications but our aptitude to upgrade.
Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for managing unplanned-for aggregation?
A is the industry leader of value-added, end-to-end Total Quality Management reports. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to embrace holistically. Without content, you will lack communities. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J++. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate ROI metrics, metrics are forced to become value-added. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? It sounds terrific, but it's realistic!
Without meticulously-planned e-services, biometrics are forced to become distributed.
We here at A think we know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to e-enable intuitively. We will synthesize the ability of architectures to generate. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? Without meticulously-planned social networks, ROI metrics are forced to become open-source. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be social-network-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PNG. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing new applications? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. Think customized, best-of-breed. Think open-source. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.

In association with Amazon.com

When Body Language Goes Bad: A Dilbert Book
By Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert.

I Sense a Coldness to Your Mentoring: A Dilbert Book
By Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert.

Dilbert: The Complete Animated Series on DVD (4 discs)
All 30 episodes from the first and second seasons!