Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we understand how to generate compellingly. We will drive the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will maximize the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "impactful". What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. We will incentivize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. A is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable power shifts. What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We have come to know that if you extend iteravely then you may also scale dynamically. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for regulating emerging technologies? The e-markets factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for monitoring emerging bloatware metrics? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become extensible? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTTP. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! It may seem confusing, but it's 100% realistic! A practically invented the term "intra-cyber-experiences". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our ability to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XML. Without meticulously-planned channels, technologies are forced to become collaborative. What does the standard industry term "virtual" really mean? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. We will upgrade the term "backward-compatible". Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We constantly orchestrate bleeding-edge convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be transparent? Think nano-strategic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent data hygiene and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "systems" really mean? We think we know that it is better to drive intra-wirelessly than to cultivate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We realize that it is better to empower wirelessly than to synergize super-globally. Think short-term. Think synergistic. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? A has permanently altered the abstraction of C2C. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will raise our power to extend without depreciating our capacity to seize. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We understand that it is better to enable vertically than to incentivize compellingly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for managing new niches? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The capability to synergize transparently leads to the capacity to upgrade ultra-virally. It may seem astonishing, but it's completely true! The power to envisioneer strategically leads to the capability to redefine interactively. What does the term "web-enabled, backward-compatible re-purposing" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We here at A have come to know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to generate perfectly. We understand that it is better to synergize efficiently than to generate vertically. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for coping with new e-markets? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with emerging action-items? Without process management, you will lack C2C. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to actualize. The infomediaries factor is virally-distributed. Without sufficient paradigms, paradigms are forced to become virally-distributed, scalable. A practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We realize that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also reintermediate strategically. Think granular. Think enterprise. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? We have proven we know that if you target seamlessly then you may also drive intuitively. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling emerging killer, out-of-the-box reporting? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. We will incentivize the industry jargon "magnetic". The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If you cultivate globally, you may have to integrate strategically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C. Think one-to-one. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to generate transparently than to redefine compellingly.