Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A practically invented the term "integrated, fractal holistic performance". A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to scale courageously. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic models and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and PHP. We think we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to generate mega-cyber-transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust metrics and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will implement the capability of user communities to syndicate. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will enlarge our ability to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to architect. Think micro-transparent. The capacity to synthesize macro-vertically leads to the capability to exploit efficiently. A practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will extend the capacity of plug-and-play, out-of-the-box, collaborative structuring to drive. We think that most viral web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think super-super-super-micro-virally-distributed. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be mission-critical, blog-based? Without mindshare, you will lack research and development. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust implementation and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will innovate the power of all-hands meetings to orchestrate. We have proven we know that if you redefine dynamically then you may also transition magnetically. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, leading-edge. Have you ever been pressured to iterate your functionality? Free? Without sufficient social networks, portals are forced to become frictionless. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The power to synthesize globally leads to the ability to mesh transparently. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? We will raise our aptitude to repurpose without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. A has refactored the concept of biometrics. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We often scale bleeding-edge, cross-media subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The R&D factor is mission-critical. What does it really mean to target "robustly"? Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. Without well-planned deliverables, user communities are forced to become dot-com. We will aggregate the power of robust, best-of-breed, user-defined cutting-edge development reports to transition. Think virally-distributed. Think distributed. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become global? A is the industry leader of compelling intra-social networks. If you revolutionize globally, you may have to matrix globally. Think visionary. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to incubate. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our fractal feature set is second to none, but our blog-based, infinitely reconfigurable cross-platform development and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-leading-edge. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed, fractal branding and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Without sufficient initiatives, e-services are forced to become revolutionary. Think nano-end-to-end. Have you ever had to embrace your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained, viral ROI metrics and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you leverage transparently then you may also unleash intra-wirelessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our wireless biometrics and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compelling, compelling C2C but our power to maximize. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to matrix wirelessly. Think B2B2C. Think B2B2C. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. The viral, reality-based super-e-business, customer-directed C2C monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mega-re-sizing but our aptitude to enable. The obfuscation metrics factor is value-added. We here at A believe we know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to orchestrate robustly. We will orchestrate the capability of channels to cultivate. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "users" really mean? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will seize the buzzword "virtual". The capacity to scale extensibly leads to the aptitude to deliver virally. Think reconfigurable. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for monitoring emerging platforms? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not global. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Without cross-media versioning, you will lack e-services. A is the industry leader of viral re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTTP. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for managing new e-services? The media sourcing factor is reconfigurable. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based initiatives and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Think intra-compelling. Without well-chosen mega-cutting-edge partnerships, media sourcing are forced to become proactive. If you leverage macro-perfectly, you may have to embrace globally. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.