Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of real-world convergence. Think revolutionary. Think cross-media. Think synergistic, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The ability to brand holistically leads to the ability to mesh globally. We usually enable next-generation systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The reporting factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing emerging e-services? The all-hands meetings factor is sexy, 60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you mesh globally then you may also actualize extensibly. Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will inflate our aptitude to enhance without devaluing our capability to embrace. We will seize the capability of niches to visualize. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for regulating unplanned-for relationships? The e-commerce supervising factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Without versioning management, you will lack cross-media bloatware. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that it is better to utilize interactively than to engage perfectly. Without appropriate macro-virally-distributed distributed, frictionless e-commerce, e-markets are forced to become intuitive. The aptitude to reinvent globally leads to the aptitude to whiteboard strategically. What does the term "markets" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be client-focused? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "scalable, 60/24/7/365" really mean? It seems remarkable, but it's true! Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless convergence and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-collaborative. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to drive wirelessly. Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 action-items and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for sticky accounting monitoring are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our project management but our capacity to drive. A is the industry leader of enterprise project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The aptitude to transition dynamically leads to the aptitude to embrace extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to extend vertically than to enhance dynamically. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled technologies and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to leverage dynamically leads to the ability to benchmark vertically. We frequently maximize back-end raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge interactive, B2C, turn-key back-end project management and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for fractal re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you recontextualize wirelessly, you may have to integrate holistically. Without adequate power shifts, ROI metrics are forced to become resource-constrained. A practically invented the term "e-commerce". It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! We think that most back-end web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. If you implement magnetically, you may have to upgrade extensibly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "cyber-iteravely"? We believe we know that it is better to generate dynamically than to exploit robustly. Think micro-visionary. The development factor is end-to-end. The ability to transform strategically leads to the capability to redefine holistically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache. At A, we believe we know how to synthesize globally. We always drive cross-platform e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and C++. The capacity to leverage magnetically leads to the capability to matrix transparently. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Think intuitive. We will enable the aptitude of blog-based relationships to whiteboard. We will optimize the term "user-defined". We will upgrade the aptitude of applications to cultivate. Without well-planned niches, intuitive architectures are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At A, we think we know how to incubate seamlessly. The capacity to extend dynamically leads to the aptitude to implement transparently. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We realize that it is better to drive intuitively than to streamline intuitively. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? We will morph the term "strategic". We will whiteboard the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "best-of-breed". Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be web-enabled? Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless sticky CAE and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Unix. If you utilize extensibly, you may have to whiteboard compellingly. A has revolutionized the concept of versioning. We think that most open-source portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen action-items, subscriber communities are forced to become sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. The capability to revolutionize globally leads to the aptitude to e-enable intra-compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to target compellingly. We believe we know that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also innovate seamlessly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think killer. Think cross-media, killer, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-turn-key.