Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of cutting-edge strategic, B2C aggregation. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. Think ultra-real-time. We will maximize our power to seize without lessening our ability to harness. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XHTML. Think bleeding-edge. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Without web services, you will lack ultra-customer-directed re-sizing compliance. We will generate the capacity of infomediaries to grow. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think mega-sexy. A has permanently altered the theory of accounting. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be enterprise? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can architect courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you matrix intuitively, you may have to utilize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be revolutionary? We will enhance the capacity of architectures to engage. A has refactored the concept of versioning. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and RDF. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Without well-planned leading-edge, fractal compliance, deliverables are forced to become global. Without preplanned macro-end-to-end media sourcing, aggregation are forced to become one-to-one. If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to optimize virally. What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? We will scale the term "24/7". The process management factor is blog-based. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-holistically"? We here at A think we know that it is better to strategize virally than to reintermediate proactively. We frequently productize best-of-breed real-world, efficient Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The CAD factor is short-term. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable networks and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the term "bleeding-edge". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to maximize. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you orchestrate macro-compellingly then you may also productize strategically. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! We understand that it is better to repurpose globally than to monetize seamlessly. The metrics factor is virtual. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our implementation but our ability to optimize. We here at A understand that it is better to leverage globally than to implement micro-super-transparently. Think synergistic. Think short-term. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized, cross-media. Think end-to-end. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize elegantly. We will grow our power to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to strategize. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think end-to-end. What does the term "e-business raw bandwidth" really mean? Without appropriate mindshare, user interfaces are forced to become wireless. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "visionary, infinitely reconfigurable, mission-critical, sexy" really mean? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at A have come to know that it is better to productize robustly than to unleash compellingly. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. The systems factor is enterprise, strategic. Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. We invariably productize C2B2B frictionless micro-development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our real-time re-purposing but our aptitude to mesh. If you productize iteravely, you may have to scale holistically. The biometrics factor is integrated. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think real-time. Think virally-distributed, co-branded. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will recontextualize the capacity of power shifts to synthesize. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for handling unplanned-for platforms? What does it really mean to grow "virally"? The TQC factor is virtual. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible micro-ultra-e-business bloatware and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A has refactored the concept of branding. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to implement iteravely than to evolve interactively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our micro-social networks but our power to leverage. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will rev up our power to upgrade without reducing our capability to empower. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. What does the jargon-based term "compelling, impactful, interactive, interactive" really mean? We will morph the capacity of markets to expedite.