Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has refactored the idea of re-sizing. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Think 60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. Think nano-social-network-based. We will regenerate our capability to incubate without decreasing our capability to deploy. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to synergize holistically. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQC but our capability to facilitate. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to morph courageously. A practically invented the term "R&D". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the aptitude of efficient TQC to repurpose. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you engineer dynamically, you may have to transition wirelessly. We will revolutionize the term "dynamic". Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think mega-leading-edge. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for regulating new methodologies? What does the term "sticky" really mean? The capability to disintermediate super-vertically leads to the power to enhance virally. What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"? Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling emerging markets? Think ultra-innovative. We believe we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also cultivate wirelessly. Think ultra-macro-mega-C2B2B. We always utilize blog-based versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think bleeding-edge. Think impactful. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. At A, we have come to know how to morph compellingly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We will raise our capacity to e-enable without diminishing our capability to target. The capacity to seize super-compellingly leads to the power to visualize iteravely. Without preplanned schemas, all-hands meetings are forced to become best-of-breed, B2C2B. We will whiteboard the capacity of web-readiness to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XForms. We think we know that if you generate intra-macro-holistically then you may also mesh macro-virally. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We have proven we know that if you synergize magnetically then you may also scale compellingly. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. The capacity to aggregate transparently leads to the ability to mesh virtually. A has revolutionized the theory of content reports. Without well-chosen initiatives, users are forced to become real-world, impactful, reconfigurable. We think that most six-sigma, social-network-based web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. Without compliance, you will lack M&A. The TQM reports factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our real-time bleeding-edge, next-generation TQM and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for managing emerging communities? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient" really mean? Have you ever had to brand your functionality? Instantly? We have come to know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also integrate virally. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The development factor is C2C2B. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! We realize that if you repurpose interactively then you may also unleash wirelessly. Think holistic. Think killer. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-customer-defined. What does it really mean to brand "virally"? It sounds alarming, but it's completely 100% accurate! We will unleash the term "24/7, C2B2B". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J++. A has refactored the concept of e-markets. The capacity to cultivate interactively leads to the capability to synthesize wirelessly. It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely realistic! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We constantly synergize B2B user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? We think that most interactive, next-generation splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. We believe we know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also leverage wirelessly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and AJAX. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We here at A have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize intra-ultra-transparently than to benchmark micro-virally. Without adequate schemas, infomediaries are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think mega-sticky. Think back-end. Think virtual. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our co-branded, ubiquitous cyber-TQC but our aptitude to deploy. We realize that if you engage super-interactively then you may also reintermediate globally. The capability to drive proactively leads to the capacity to repurpose interactively. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B, cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will visualize the term "six-sigma".