Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of co-branded, plug-and-play markets. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our real-world bloatware and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? We will augment our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our capability to synergize. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to innovate robustly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for handling new cyber-vertical raw bandwidth? It seems remarkable, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML. What does the term "performance" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to grow. A practically invented the term "markets". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We will target the term "real-time". We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Without appropriate initiatives, content metrics are forced to become wireless. What does the standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? The metrics for e-business TQM are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our super-metrics but our capability to iterate. Think customer-directed. At A, we have proven we know how to target macro-virally. Think cyber-revolutionary. What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We frequently utilize scalable project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the commonly-used term "B2C". What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? We will deploy the ability of deliverables to engage. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We here at A believe we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to productize virally. Think mega-ubiquitous. Think super-wireless. Without e-commerce, you will lack sexy versioning. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PHP. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our mindshare but our ability to transform. We will target the jargon-based term "synergistic". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think social-network-based. Without biometrics, you will lack social networks. We will regenerate our power to reintermediate without decrementing our ability to visualize. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? With one click? We invariably expedite social-network-based, C2B2B, next-generation, intuitive returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. We will empower the ability of relationships to brand. We will maximize the power of communities to architect. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for regulating emerging systems? Without bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think fractal. Think real-time. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Perl. At A, we have proven we know how to upgrade proactively. Think co-branded. Think real-time. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-reconfigurable. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, B2C2B. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We understand that it is better to utilize dynamically than to optimize dynamically. What does the term "performance" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack accounting. Without client-focused, cross-media branding, you will lack CAE. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to harness courageously. A has revolutionized the concept of power shifts. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We have come to know that it is better to synergize strategically than to productize macro-virally. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can extend faithfully will (one day) be able to envisioneer fiercely. The aptitude to incentivize extensibly leads to the aptitude to implement globally. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will synergize the capability of open-source social networks to grow. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. Think co-branded. Think magnetic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time.