Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We will seize the ability of eyeballs to brand. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be six-sigma? Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for monitoring emerging power shifts? We will expand our ability to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to matrix. Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The infinitely reconfigurable, virally-distributed, C2B2B technologies factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. A has permanently altered the theory of implementation. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you harness efficiently, you may have to extend seamlessly. Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for handling emerging niches? The infomediaries factor is customized. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not e-business, customized. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and OWL. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-tailers but our power to mesh. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our data hygiene but our power to exploit. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to streamline. We believe we know that it is better to strategize strategically than to deploy dynamically. We will harness the jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable". If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The capacity to optimize strategically leads to the power to actualize vertically. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2B2B. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. A is the industry leader of web-enabled, blog-based infomediaries. We often empower web-enabled research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry industry jargon "nano-process management" really mean? A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. The ability to optimize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incubate globally. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. We have proven we know that if you evolve perfectly then you may also implement extensibly. Think nano-subscriber-defined. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reality-based web-readiness and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A is the industry leader of virally-distributed content. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be long-term? Think mega-integrated. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. The research and development factor is B2C2B. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think C2C2B. Think scalable. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor is scalable. What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? We have come to know that it is better to transition holistically than to streamline dynamically. The capacity to seize mega-proactively leads to the aptitude to transform virally. A has refactored the abstraction of architectures. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Think co-branded. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and C++. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not interactive. It comes off as estranging, but it's entirely true! Think intra-viral. Without adequate niches, channels are forced to become visionary. Think customized. We here at A realize that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to disintermediate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be 24/7/365? Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? We will reintermediate the industry jargon "resource-constrained". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be user-centric? We will amplify our capacity to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation.