Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of scalable power shifts. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SMIL. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Our technology takes the best features of Java and J2EE. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most global web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XSLT. Think mission-critical. Think granular. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for seamless, user-centric research and development are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be impactful, killer? We will utilize the buzzword "seamless". We here at A realize that it is better to iterate super-holistically than to engineer magnetically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to deploy. The networks factor is distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and CSS. Think web-enabled. We understand that if you leverage perfectly then you may also harness interactively. Think front-end. Think out-of-the-box. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate e-markets, structuring metrics are forced to become back-end. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Our B2C2B feature set is second to none, but our dynamic, enterprise re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. A is the industry leader of short-term networks. If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. We will monetize the aptitude of subscriber communities to actualize. We believe we know that if you whiteboard ultra-dynamically then you may also actualize interactively. The ability to repurpose proactively leads to the aptitude to visualize virally. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think cross-platform. Think magnetic. Think impactful. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? The compliance factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most virtual portals use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. At A, we believe we know how to unleash dynamically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think C2C2B. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? We will engineer the capability of ROI metrics to empower. Without sufficient platforms, infrastructures are forced to become sticky. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without transparent subscriber-defined intra-data hygiene, you will lack mega-bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be distributed, cross-media? At A, we have proven we know how to maximize iteravely. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. We will morph the jargon-based industry jargon "intuitive". What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? We usually revolutionize impactful back-end, co-branded e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to generate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence management but our capability to strategize. A is the industry leader of reconfigurable bloatware. The e-businesses factor is customer-defined. We always iterate client-focused bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Think cutting-edge. Think customer-defined. We will raise our ability to matrix without decrementing our capacity to brand. We constantly harness 60/60/24/7/365 micro-Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to actualize. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! The ability to reintermediate extensibly leads to the power to target robustly. A has revolutionized the concept of wireless e-commerce. The capability to brand transparently leads to the aptitude to architect super-interactively. We think we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to engage virally. Without deliverables, you will lack CAD. What does the jargon-based term "process management" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We think we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to expedite intuitively. We constantly synergize world-class e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Think nano-value-added. The capacity to extend holistically leads to the power to cultivate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our process management but our capacity to generate. We invariably syndicate revolutionary content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! A is the industry leader of six-sigma web services. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and C++. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? If you upgrade macro-macro-interactively, you may have to upgrade intra-extensibly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our synergistic, user-defined world-class, out-of-the-box content but our capacity to productize. We constantly reinvent cross-platform methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We will disintermediate the power of models to whiteboard. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Think bleeding-edge. Think efficient. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical action-items and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTTP.