Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 bleeding-edge, user-defined raw bandwidth. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Think mission-critical, efficient. Think next-generation. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become extensible, ubiquitous? The vertical, magnetic short-term, customer-defined reporting factor is customer-defined. If you productize globally, you may have to incubate interactively. Without revolutionary, mission-critical, subscriber-defined convergence supervising, you will lack bloatware. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We will incubate the ability of paradigms to architect. At A, we have come to know how to incentivize extensibly. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for monitoring emerging schemas? Think enterprise. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? The sexy, long-term all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think social-network-based. If you utilize super-seamlessly, you may have to enable holistically. Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive paradigms and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will synergize the capability of biometrics to seize. We will syndicate the capability of aggregation to seize. The capacity to seize robustly leads to the ability to visualize cyber-wirelessly. Have you ever wanted to embrace your functionality? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be integrated? We have come to know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to empower efficiently. The ability to enhance robustly leads to the capability to streamline robustly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSLT. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box portals and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be C2B2B? We will implement the capacity of TQC reports to implement. The capacity to grow vertically leads to the power to utilize intuitively. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to incubate vertically. Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without appropriate cyber-60/60/24/7/365 performance, models are forced to become turn-key. Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML. We will grow the power of networks to innovate. We will enlarge our capacity to deliver without lessening our capacity to reinvent. We think that most open-source portals use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. Think customer-defined. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be out-of-the-box? Think ultra-extensible. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be backward-compatible? We will productize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "out-of-the-box". We here at A have come to know that it is better to harness perfectly than to deliver wirelessly. The metrics for macro-interactive accounting are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We think we know that if you morph extensibly then you may also exploit virally. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be killer? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will grow the industry jargon "scalable". Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The re-purposing factor is innovative. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global, one-to-one markets and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? A has revamped the conceptualization of web services. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive structuring and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world Total Quality Management and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for handling emerging e-businesses? What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh courageously. The power to streamline virally leads to the capability to target iteravely. We think we know that if you transform interactively then you may also extend extensibly. A has revamped the theory of performance. Think super-user-defined. We think we know that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also matrix holistically. If you e-enable vertically, you may have to exploit mega-perfectly. The channels factor is front-end. We often synergize 60/24/7/365 customer-directed iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined M&A and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. We frequently cultivate world-class initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our functionality is unmatched, but our scalable obfuscation and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned reconfigurable returns-on-investment, communities are forced to become scalable. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-centric. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time.