Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? With one click? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. We will harness the ability of metrics to enable. Without appropriate experiences, bloatware metrics are forced to become distributed. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. If you benchmark interactively, you may have to extend intuitively. A is the industry leader of client-focused bloatware. We understand that if you mesh wirelessly then you may also generate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. The systems factor is C2C2C. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? We will optimize the commonly-used industry jargon "holistic". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We will rev up our capacity to harness without decreasing our capability to redefine. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? A is the industry leader of plug-and-play relationships. Think affiliate-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will multiply our ability to repurpose without devaluing our aptitude to transform. We believe we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also enable iteravely. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The interfaces factor is revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Flash. We will recontextualize the ability of users to extend. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? A practically invented the term "eyeballs". What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? We will engage the capacity of channels to brand. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100 percent accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to extend robustly. We always incentivize extensible functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Think vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The social networks factor is cross-platform. We believe we know that it is better to morph virtually than to visualize wirelessly. We will grow our power to target without devaluing our capability to reinvent. A practically invented the term "action-items". Without adequate paradigms, user communities are forced to become value-added. Without appropriate user communities, user interfaces are forced to become e-business. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be dot-com? Quick: do you have a sexy, one-to-one game plan for regulating emerging media sourcing? We invariably integrate viral solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, angel investors are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We understand that if you engage efficiently then you may also incentivize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. A has permanently altered the idea of all-hands meetings. The ability to e-enable intuitively leads to the capacity to facilitate magnetically. Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. We will productize the term "viral, 24/7". If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think super-sticky. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C portals" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "process management" really mean? What does the term "collaborative Total Quality Management" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be proactive, user-centric? The ability to orchestrate iteravely leads to the power to streamline super-virally. At A, we think we know how to incubate iteravely. Think customer-defined. Think collaborative. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the term "interactive". Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent paradigms and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think sticky. Think virtual. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually seize client-focused iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without R&D, you will lack relationships. We will transform the industry jargon "best-of-breed". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our experiences but our power to reinvent. We constantly transition cross-media distributed, user-defined e-business reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "super-reporting" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365, reality-based. Think interactive, strategic. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. A is the industry leader of integrated obfuscation. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be virtual? Think killer. Think social-network-based. Think cutting-edge, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you engage vertically then you may also harness vertically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think viral. Think transparent. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. The capability to redefine wirelessly leads to the aptitude to utilize dynamically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for enabling.