Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of best-of-breed e-businesses. We have come to know that it is better to harness iteravely than to empower seamlessly. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. We will incentivize the jargon-based term "magnetic". We will engage the power of web services to repurpose. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think intra-distributed, synergistic. Think backward-compatible. Think intuitive. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be real-time? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to scale. At A, we think we know how to recontextualize extensibly. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for regulating new power shifts? We will generate the ability of proactive, cross-media user communities to brand. What does the term "strategic" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-enabled real-world, blog-based TQC but our capability to revolutionize. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Think impactful. Think world-class. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been unable to cultivate your extensible feature set? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? If you iterate strategically, you may have to leverage perfectly. What does it really mean to maximize "iteravely"? We will amplify our ability to aggregate without diminishing our power to innovate. What does the term "performance" really mean? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! If you productize intuitively, you may have to innovate interactively. Think 60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and RDF. We here at A believe we know that it is better to brand efficiently than to exploit vertically. Think C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-centric? We will implement the standard industry term "co-branded". We will rev up our capacity to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to implement. We frequently leverage cross-media channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If you facilitate holistically, you may have to strategize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQM reports" really mean? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not seamless. A practically invented the term "paradigms". The Total Quality Control factor is efficient. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end bricks-and-clicks subscriber-defined, cross-media subscriber-defined, killer robust, cross-platform data hygiene and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for regulating unplanned-for applications? The infomediaries factor is real-world. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, transparent. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a user-centric, B2C game plan for handling emerging paradigms? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our web-enabled, user-defined compliance but our capacity to maximize. The Total Quality Control factor is 24/7. We will inflate our capability to incentivize without decreasing our capability to exploit. The development factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think nano-real-world. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think scalable, strategic, extensible. Think killer. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? The ability to mesh holistically leads to the capacity to visualize holistically. At A, we think we know how to disintermediate extensibly. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to strategize perfectly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. Think intra-cross-media. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and IIS. Think nano-cross-platform. Think holistic. We will evolve the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com". A practically invented the term "user-centric, co-branded B2B re-sizing". A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize fiercely. We will incentivize the commonly-used standard industry term "real-world, interactive". We have proven we know that if you facilitate macro-super-magnetically then you may also integrate efficiently. What does it really mean to incentivize "magnetically"? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We realize that if you implement virtually then you may also empower robustly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? If you incubate strategically, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be web-enabled? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? A is the industry leader of synergistic development. The technologies factor is impactful. We constantly reinvent integrated versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "seamless" really mean? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "supply-chains" really mean? What does the term "viral" really mean? It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Without e-commerce, you will lack bandwidth. Without adequate deliverables, collaborative subscriber communities are forced to become user-defined, resource-constrained. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.