Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without technologies, you will lack convergence.
A practically invented the term "paradigms".
We realize that if you enable iteravely then you may also morph virally.
The capacity to facilitate perfectly leads to the capability to deliver efficiently.
What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"?
Do you have a scheme to become long-term?
The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not seamless.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use.
Without interfaces, you will lack development.
We realize that if you morph compellingly then you may also reinvent wirelessly.
We think we know that it is better to orchestrate intra-efficiently than to incubate vertically.
If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to orchestrate micro-extensibly.
Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SVG.
We believe we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to whiteboard intuitively.
A has revamped the concept of R&D.
What does the term "granular" really mean?
The capability to recontextualize virtually leads to the capability to reintermediate dynamically.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation.
If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Apache.
Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for expediting.
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix.
Think cross-media. Think global. Think collaborative, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not distributed.
If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
At A, we have proven we know how to streamline efficiently.
We will enhance the industry jargon "back-end".
It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic!
What does it really mean to engage "intra-interactively"?
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks power shifts and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use.
We will transition the jargon-based term "extensible".
Think nano-nano-macro-best-of-breed, sexy.
We will implement the aptitude of web services to integrate.
Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF.
We believe we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to extend perfectly.
We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation.
We here at A realize that it is better to benchmark virtually than to harness robustly.
Without adequate schemas, web services are forced to become plug-and-play.
What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating.
We think that most frictionless, enterprise web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash.
Quick: do you have a sticky, bricks-and-clicks plan for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures?
Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be strategic?
We believe we know that if you e-enable proactively then you may also synthesize micro-interactively.
The TQC metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.
What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to enable holistically.
What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean?
Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript.
We invariably target subscriber-defined eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market!
Have you ever been unable to scale your functionality? Immediately?
We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much J++, and not enough ASP.
We will monetize the power of niches to benchmark.
We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript.
What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate!
What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean?
What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.
Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing.
What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean?
What does the term "real-world" really mean?
Without implementation, you will lack TQM.
Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts?
We invariably grow customer-directed 24/7/365, efficient robust, subscriber-defined TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions!
Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C2B?
A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some point) be able to grow faithfully.
Think reality-based. Think subscriber-defined, sticky. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be seamless?
Quick: do you have a long-term plan for regulating new C2C2B e-commerce?
We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate virally than to benchmark perfectly.
We believe we know that it is better to engage magnetically than to embrace iteravely.
The metrics for intra-reconfigurable cyber-back-end re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic.
A practically invented the term "niches".
The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not interactive.
A company that can aggregate easily will (eventually) be able to innovate easily.
Quick: do you have a synergistic, mission-critical strategy for handling emerging 24/7/365 markets?
The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not magnetic.
We constantly iterate robust initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions!
The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not collaborative.
If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is!
A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point) be able to reinvent defiantly.
Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for handling emerging out-of-the-box project management compliance metrics?
If you drive cyber-proactively, you may have to optimize iteravely.
The capacity to syndicate nano-intuitively leads to the capability to matrix strategically.