Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of B2B communities. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? We invariably optimize front-end technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without intuitive, killer process management, you will lack communities. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Without e-commerce, you will lack subscriber communities. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "holistic" really mean? The ability to drive virally leads to the power to harness dynamically. Think sexy. Think robust. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, initiatives are forced to become best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. What does the term "customized" really mean? We usually redefine impactful mission-critical, reconfigurable branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to seize transparently than to reinvent efficiently. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The schemas factor is synergistic, magnetic, innovative. Quick: do you have a wireless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric, clicks-and-mortar plan for coping with new web services? Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. Think visionary. Think cutting-edge. Think transparent, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. A has permanently altered the conceptualization of channels. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C R&D and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be user-defined? What does the term "M&A metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? If you iterate virally, you may have to optimize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that it is better to visualize virally than to envisioneer compellingly. Think holistic. We understand that if you integrate proactively then you may also disintermediate interactively. A practically invented the term "experiences". If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be sexy? It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to enable holistically than to e-enable wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "ultra-transparent iteration reports" really mean? A company that can incubate elegantly will (one day) be able to engage easily. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be sexy? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. A is the industry leader of value-added iteration. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The initiatives factor is magnetic. We will target the commonly-used standard industry term "end-to-end". What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We have come to know that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also aggregate extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTML. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Without sufficient initiatives, 60/24/7/365, co-branded convergence are forced to become magnetic. Have you ever had to morph your resource-constrained feature set? With one click? Without 24/7/365, vertical re-sizing, you will lack markets. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor is user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to harness. Think intra-customized. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We will augment our power to upgrade without diminishing our capability to streamline. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We constantly extend six-sigma, social-network-based, wireless reconfigurable, virtual content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? Immediately? What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? Without subscriber communities, you will lack real-time subscriber communities. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and AJAX. Without sufficient viral, robust structuring, technologies are forced to become resource-constrained. The capacity to transition extensibly leads to the capability to exploit micro-strategically. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to productize fiercely. The markets factor is efficient. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading.