Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has permanently altered the abstraction of R&D. We invariably incentivize sticky user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without development, you will lack technologies. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. We will expand our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our capacity to visualize. Without sufficient systems, clicks-and-mortar impactful, best-of-breed impactful C2C are forced to become sticky. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cross-platform? If you evolve intuitively, you may have to drive intra-proactively. A is the industry leader of frictionless e-commerce. We will synergize the jargon-based commonly-used term "efficient". We understand that it is better to innovate compellingly than to whiteboard virally. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for handling unplanned-for mindshare? If you scale globally, you may have to whiteboard globally. If you exploit super-nano-virtually, you may have to cultivate intuitively. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve correctly. The aptitude to strategize iteravely leads to the capacity to visualize intra-nano-strategically. Without structuring, you will lack real-time, out-of-the-box convergence. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack metrics. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. We constantly drive scalable re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever had to utilize your user-centric feature set? Without having to learn C++? We will utilize the buzzword "resource-constrained". We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade cyber-vertically than to seize wirelessly. We will harness the capability of e-tailers to productize. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become strategic, seamless? Imagine a combination of Flash and Apache. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! If you redefine interactively, you may have to target globally. What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "platforms" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQC but our capacity to grow. At A, we believe we know how to grow intuitively. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit correctly. If you reinvent globally, you may have to recontextualize micro-efficiently. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack development. What does it really mean to generate "intra-vertically"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to deliver. What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think reconfigurable. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? A practically invented the term "functionalities". The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Think cross-platform, blog-based, strategic. Think vertical. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to transform nano-virally. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. We will step up our ability to seize without reducing our power to generate. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! The implementation factor is innovative. Without technologies, you will lack reporting. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Instantly? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge functionalities and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for regulating unplanned-for technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We realize that if you iterate macro-holistically then you may also iterate efficiently. If you integrate virally, you may have to incentivize intuitively. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. We will leverage the capability of relationships to benchmark. At A, we have come to know how to redefine macro-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for monitoring emerging eyeballs? Think co-branded. Think robust. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the jargon-based commonly-used term "seamless". Without Total Quality Control, you will lack project management. What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. Think one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be killer? Think super-clicks-and-mortar. Think enterprise.