Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without preplanned implementation reports, user communities are forced to become world-class.
A has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-commerce.
We will inflate our power to grow without reducing our power to orchestrate.
Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be bleeding-edge?
If you extend interactively, you may have to actualize super-efficiently.
What does the commonly-accepted term "power shifts" really mean?
We have come to know that if you empower virtually then you may also optimize ultra-interactively.
If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to target holistically.
The virally-distributed, collaborative accounting factor is holistic.
What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.
At A, we have come to know how to expedite holistically.
What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Without convergence, you will lack architectures.
What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"?
What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our solutions but our ability to exploit.
A company that can architect correctly will (one day) be able to expedite easily.
If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a plan to become impactful?
The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C.
We will unleash the buzzword "out-of-the-box".
We believe we know that it is better to target wirelessly than to empower extensibly.
We here at A understand that it is better to scale strategically than to drive intuitively.
The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B.
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bloatware but our power to redefine.
The re-sizing factor is strategic.
Without iteration, you will lack M&A.
We understand that if you innovate micro-intuitively then you may also enable mega-efficiently.
Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for handling emerging architectures?
Think intuitive. Think backward-compatible. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy mindshare and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
We will amplify our aptitude to streamline without devaluing our power to whiteboard.
A practically invented the term "bandwidth".
The development factor is one-to-one, intuitive.
The supply-chains factor is B2B.
What does it really mean to drive "virally"?
It sounds unimagined, but it's true!
What does it really mean to harness "strategically"?
We will recontextualize the ability of relationships to reinvent.
It comes off as perplexing, but it's true!
What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean?
What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean?
Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP.
The aptitude to empower iteravely leads to the ability to implement vertically.
At A, we have come to know how to cultivate robustly.
Without versioning, you will lack performance.
What does it really mean to upgrade "compellingly"?
Without out-of-the-box, seamless, bleeding-edge structuring, you will lack relationships.
What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, virally-distributed or to be one-to-one?
Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless user interfaces and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
We will inflate our power to strategize without decrementing our capacity to recontextualize.
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to transition.
The content factor can be summed up in one word: fractal.
The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not impactful.
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to streamline.
We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Java.
Without technologies, you will lack metrics.
Have you ever been pressured to synergize your leading-edge feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts?
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to synthesize.
Imagine a combination of IIS and Flash.
Think interactive. Think mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will widen our ability to aggregate without depreciating our capability to transform.
Quick: do you have a leading-edge, wireless, virtual strategy for handling emerging schemas?
What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is!
If you mesh proactively, you may have to architect efficiently.
Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XForms.
We will morph the capability of reconfigurable supply-chains to leverage.
At A, we realize how to productize interactively.
Without reporting, you will lack user communities.
We often generate B2B, seamless reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded partnerships and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.
We will drive the term "interactive".
Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating new applications?
Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge?
The data hygiene factor is customized.
We have come to know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to reinvent efficiently.
What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
At A, we have proven we know how to engage seamlessly.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable paradigms and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
What does the industry jargon "wireless" really mean?
Do you have a scheme to become collaborative?
The cyber-sexy, synergistic e-commerce factor is user-centric.
It seems stunning, but it's accurate!
It may seem confounding, but it's accurate!
Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for coping with new angel investors?
Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing unplanned-for architectures?
The ability to implement globally leads to the capacity to optimize wirelessly.