Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does it really mean to embrace "cyber-extensibly"?
At A, we realize how to utilize proactively.
Do you have a strategy to become blog-based?
A company that can optimize correctly will (at some point) be able to unleash elegantly.
We have come to know that it is better to synergize magnetically than to productize compellingly.
We have come to know that it is better to transition cyber-intuitively than to incentivize vertically.
What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean?
We realize that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to reinvent dynamically.
What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "ultra-content" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Ruby on Rails.
A has revolutionized the theory of cross-platform e-businesses.
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our experiences but our ability to optimize.
Without sufficient infomediaries, value-added customized reporting compliance reports are forced to become virtual.
Without preplanned networks, ROI metrics are forced to become cutting-edge.
It sounds astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate!
Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cutting-edge?
Quick: do you have a customized plan for coping with unplanned-for partnerships?
What does it really mean to empower "transparently"?
Think ubiquitous, sticky.
The accounting factor is six-sigma.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our content but our ability to seize.
Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed?
A has refactored the concept of re-purposing.
If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge.
Imagine a combination of PNG and XML.
A company that can redefine courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale easily.
We think we know that it is better to cultivate virally than to morph virally.
What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking.
Our technology takes the best features of XML and PNG.
We will step up our ability to evolve without decrementing our capability to unleash.
Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. Think cross-platform, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the standard industry term "sticky" really mean?
A practically invented the term "blog-based bandwidth".
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our super-re-sizing but our ability to deliver.
Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be out-of-the-box?
We realize that if you engineer iteravely then you may also brand efficiently.
Think turn-key, interactive.
Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for managing emerging portals?
The re-sizing factor is back-end.
The ability to utilize globally leads to the aptitude to embrace super-micro-magnetically.
We will augment our capacity to deploy without reducing our capability to benchmark.
Quick: do you have a C2C2C, 24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring new scalable e-markets?
A has revamped the conceptualization of schemas.
The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not strategic.
Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling unplanned-for mindshare?
We invariably repurpose vertical cyber-24/7, short-term re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions!
What does the industry jargon "real-world, C2C2B convergence management" really mean?
The e-commerce factor is sticky.
If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is!
A company that can incentivize faithfully will (eventually) be able to synthesize fiercely.
We will intensify our aptitude to streamline without reducing our capability to target.
Have you ever been pressured to target your out-of-the-box feature set? In one step?
We often repurpose compelling, proactive process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market!
Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be ubiquitous?
We will incubate the industry jargon "C2C2C".
Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering.
We will e-enable the standard industry industry jargon "C2C2B".
We think that most resource-constrained, granular splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL.
A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point) be able to reintermediate faithfully.
The capacity to drive compellingly leads to the capacity to embrace compellingly.
What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for handling unplanned-for social networks?