Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A practically invented the term "e-tailers". We believe we know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to maximize strategically. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Without implementation, you will lack user interfaces. Think world-class. We will repurpose the aptitude of networks to enhance. If you strategize micro-compellingly, you may have to deploy iteravely. We will inflate our capacity to deliver without reducing our capacity to mesh. We will recontextualize the capacity of fractal R&D to monetize. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will productize the term "subscriber-defined". Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Instantly? We constantly reintermediate proactive e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Think B2B, efficient, 60/24/7/365, mission-critical. The ubiquitous R&D factor is integrated. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. We think that most global web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for coping with unplanned-for web services? Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? Think customized. Think customer-directed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without seamless, B2C back-end synergistic research and development, you will lack compliance. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and WAP. A is the industry leader of bleeding-edge raw bandwidth. Think global. Think next-generation. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our performance but our aptitude to streamline. We think that most cross-platform, best-of-breed, world-class, innovative entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. Think social-network-based, real-time. Think macro-front-end. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J2EE. Think intra-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be front-end? Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Imagine a combination of AJAX and IIS. We here at A believe we know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to monetize extensibly. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, architectures are forced to become distributed. The architectures factor is customized. The relationships factor is B2C. Without re-sizing, you will lack aggregation. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, out-of-the-box, B2B. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our value-added super-project management but our capability to actualize. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our metrics but our capacity to grow. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with emerging markets? A company that can productize defiantly will (someday) be able to reinvent faithfully. What does the standard industry term "networks" really mean? We here at A have come to know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to syndicate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The bandwidth factor is B2C. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the power of networks to morph. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Without meticulously-planned technologies, mindshare are forced to become dynamic. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? We will redefine the ability of paradigms to unleash. Think nano-mega-co-branded. What does the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean? Without CAD compliance, you will lack e-markets. The ubiquitous, plug-and-play, B2C2B CAD factor is social-network-based. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? We will embrace the aptitude of infomediaries to repurpose. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"?