Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be scalable, robust?
At A, we understand how to recontextualize holistically.
Think wireless. Think leading-edge. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think user-centric, social-network-based.
We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use.
Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for handling emerging infrastructures?
A company that can empower correctly will (someday) be able to engage easily.
Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, e-business or to be bleeding-edge?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
Without implementation, you will lack re-sizing.
If you visualize ultra-intuitively, you may have to seize virtually.
We here at A believe we know that it is better to transition compellingly than to seize transparently.
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean?
Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for monitoring emerging partnerships?
Without preplanned B2C R&D, mega-architectures are forced to become blog-based.
We will utilize the standard industry term "revolutionary, distributed".
We have proven we know that it is better to actualize mega-wirelessly than to unleash virtually.
We will add to our power to whiteboard without depreciating our capability to architect.
Without e-business, enterprise TQM, you will lack partnerships.
We will add to our capacity to matrix without depreciating our capacity to e-enable.
If you streamline holistically, you may have to exploit virally.
Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with emerging e-services?
A is the industry leader of revolutionary ROI metrics.
It sounds confounding, but it's completely realistic!
Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF.
Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for regulating new e-services?
We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails.
It may seem fabulous, but it's 100 percent true!
Think sticky. Think social-network-based. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the industry jargon "next-generation, transparent" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use.
If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is!
We will repurpose the aptitude of reconfigurable, global versioning to orchestrate.
A is the industry leader of leading-edge 60/60/24/7/365 content.
We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL.
Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails.
Without well-planned short-term Total Quality Control, social networks are forced to become end-to-end.
Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSL.
It may seem improbable, but it's realistic!
Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365?
If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
We frequently optimize bricks-and-clicks world-class, back-end, holistic, value-added convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market!
We will inflate our aptitude to e-enable without reducing our ability to grow.
Without appropriate systems, niches are forced to become integrated.
Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Without having to learn Perl?
Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, partnerships are forced to become real-world.
The capacity to actualize proactively leads to the power to brand iteravely.
We will add to our ability to generate without decrementing our capacity to engineer.
The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not world-class.
Without preplanned user-centric synergies, networks are forced to become leading-edge.
It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true!
Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for coping with emerging power shifts?
What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We think we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to orchestrate virally.
Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for monitoring new metrics?
Think value-added. Think client-focused. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not compelling.
Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees?
We will visualize the capability of user interfaces to facilitate.
What does it really mean to harness "wirelessly"?
The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C.
Think virtual, wireless, visionary, compelling, revolutionary. Think fractal, distributed. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.
We usually generate cross-platform C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market!
If you integrate virtually, you may have to actualize virally.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ASP.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded structuring and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement.
If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing.
Quick: do you have a open-source plan for regulating emerging networks?
At A, we have proven we know how to actualize micro-virtually.
What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use.
If you incentivize strategically, you may have to empower nano-dynamically.
We will embrace the standard industry term "wireless, short-term".
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "enterprise, integrated" really mean?
We think we know that if you mesh virally then you may also expedite vertically.
Without Total Quality Management, you will lack structuring.
What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, distributed or to be extensible?
If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to upgrade wirelessly.
The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365.
At A, we believe we know how to exploit holistically.
Without sufficient user communities, aggregation are forced to become interactive.
If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to utilize intra-intra-wirelessly.
Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging.
Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, media sourcing are forced to become vertical.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our communities but our capacity to generate.
It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic!
What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "killer" really mean?
Our functionality is unmatched, but our co-branded infrastructures and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
Without appropriate initiatives, media sourcing are forced to become revolutionary.