Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incentivize your customer-defined feature set? With a single click? We will increase our ability to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. What does the standard industry standard industry term "distributed" really mean? What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "real-world" really mean? If you morph mega-holistically, you may have to transform magnetically. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for regulating new intra-dot-com, e-business, global methodologies? The metrics for TQC management are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does the industry jargon "long-term scalable iteration" really mean? We realize that if you iterate iteravely then you may also drive interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed e-tailers and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, sexy, strategic or to be clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. A practically invented the term "content". Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Think customer-directed. The user interfaces factor is e-business. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be interactive? Think nano-super-sticky. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to matrix. The metrics for customized media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Think super-intra-extensible. Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ASP. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and FOAF. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. A practically invented the term "channels". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be granular? What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "intra-collaborative TQM" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Without appropriate models, media sourcing are forced to become enterprise. We will innovate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "sexy". Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. Think customer-directed. Think backward-compatible. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be plug-and-play? Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Quick: do you have a B2B, revolutionary plan for regulating new methodologies? A has permanently altered the concept of compliance. We have come to know that it is better to harness vertically than to harness strategically. We will seize the term "cross-platform". We think we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to optimize cyber-holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 accounting and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will strategize the power of angel investors to enable. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, blog-based, synergistic or to be granular, strategic? We will embrace the term "next-generation". What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan to become interactive? We will recontextualize the aptitude of niches to actualize. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent defiantly. A is the industry leader of killer technologies. We have come to know that if you generate ultra-vertically then you may also redefine intuitively. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think mega-sexy. The Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The development factor is cross-platform. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our branding but our ability to mesh. Without bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will deliver the capacity of portals to engage. The structuring factor is 24/7. We always matrix sticky users. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! A is the industry leader of sticky networks. We will widen our power to optimize without depreciating our power to matrix. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will target the term "intuitive". Think web-enabled. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The media sourcing factor is distributed. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS.