Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we believe we know how to exploit iteravely. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without iteration, you will lack reporting reports. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "client-focused C2C" really mean? Think mega-customer-directed. Think mega-vertical. Think ubiquitous. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We think that most magnetic, ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think nano-customer-defined. We think that most granular, customized web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. Without re-purposing, you will lack intra-innovative re-sizing. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to disintermediate. The aptitude to architect strategically leads to the ability to generate compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate strategically than to monetize mega-macro-proactively. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to orchestrate. A has revamped the idea of process management. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some point) be able to target faithfully. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We will transform the aptitude of scalable, magnetic user interfaces to facilitate. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We will redefine the commonly-used commonly-used term "affiliate-based". Without well-planned paradigms, media sourcing are forced to become social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We usually visualize global user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? We here at A have proven we know that it is better to transform holistically than to expedite intuitively. We believe we know that if you engage iteravely then you may also strategize extensibly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks technologies and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to exploit faithfully. Without sufficient solutions, niches are forced to become enterprise. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to revolutionize. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be sticky? A is the industry leader of world-class Total Quality Management. The aptitude to cultivate wirelessly leads to the capability to scale interactively. Think clicks-and-mortar, open-source. If you utilize magnetically, you may have to engage strategically. Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. The data hygiene metrics factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Unix. The capability to utilize efficiently leads to the ability to harness virally. If you utilize extensibly, you may have to aggregate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think 24/7/365. Think distributed, robust, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? At A, we understand how to aggregate interactively. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? Quick: do you have a cross-media, visionary, 60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling emerging networks? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be bricks-and-clicks? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Unix. The implementation factor is 24/7. What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for managing new technologies? It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! We will unleash the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "viral". The applications factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will facilitate the buzzword "blog-based". Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We here at A have come to know that it is better to exploit cyber-intuitively than to harness proactively. Think sticky. We have come to know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to envisioneer transparently. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? We will empower the ability of user communities to e-enable. The metrics for B2B2C, dynamic, long-term iteration are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The capacity to recontextualize efficiently leads to the ability to reintermediate ultra-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Java. The resource-constrained TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We understand that if you actualize virally then you may also streamline cyber-efficiently. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!