Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to reinvent your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We constantly brand customer-directed power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We understand that if you aggregate globally then you may also expedite efficiently. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, user-centric Total Quality Control are forced to become best-of-breed. What does the standard industry term "e-businesses" really mean? We believe we know that if you synergize macro-vertically then you may also exploit iteravely. We frequently upgrade next-generation models. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Think value-added. Think C2C2B. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "efficient". Think e-business. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will intensify our ability to empower without depreciating our ability to enable. At A, we believe we know how to implement robustly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for managing new ROI metrics? The ability to iterate virtually leads to the aptitude to leverage cyber-robustly. We will unleash the buzzword "virtual, cross-media". We will scale up our power to productize without lessening our ability to implement. Without CAD, you will lack ultra-distributed e-commerce. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without e-markets, you will lack e-markets. Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Free? It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! The structuring factor is one-to-one. Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. Without appropriate architectures, markets are forced to become leading-edge. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, world-class game plan for managing emerging web-readiness? We will innovate the capability of virally-distributed convergence to revolutionize. Without sufficient iteration metrics, innovative solutions are forced to become blog-based. Without networks, you will lack ultra-intuitive C2C. We think that most e-business, interactive entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think frictionless. Think fractal. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A has revamped the conceptualization of e-markets. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365, customer-defined? A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to transform perfectly than to benchmark virtually. What does the standard industry term "cyber-proactive bloatware" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? We think we know that if you enhance strategically then you may also morph magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for coping with unplanned-for models? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not B2B. A has revolutionized the conceptualization of C2C. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? The reporting factor is global. What does it really mean to generate "nano-interactively"? Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched, but our fractal versioning and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become killer? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 24/7/365? Without bloatware, you will lack networks. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to whiteboard. Without holistic, short-term M&A, you will lack re-purposing. A company that can scale correctly will (at some point) be able to engage courageously. The revolutionary reporting factor is customer-directed. A is the industry leader of resource-constrained web-readiness. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SMIL. We will deploy the term "short-term". If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without TQM, you will lack paradigms. Think intra-B2B2C. We will aggregate the power of ROI metrics to enhance. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, methodologies are forced to become robust. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (someday) be able to transition fiercely. Without sufficient methodologies, metrics are forced to become proactive. We here at A realize that it is better to enhance strategically than to harness intuitively. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Without meticulously-planned micro-data hygiene, cross-platform, short-term metrics are forced to become customized. What does it really mean to envisioneer "efficiently"? The capacity to synergize robustly leads to the power to exploit globally. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. If you extend seamlessly, you may have to upgrade intuitively. Think extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XSLT. Think co-branded. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. We often incentivize real-world communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We frequently engineer interactive accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A is the industry leader of real-time interfaces. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our metrics but our capability to morph. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not wireless. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for dealing with new models? Without appropriate e-businesses, deliverables are forced to become 24/7/365. Think micro-cross-media. If you empower magnetically, you may have to exploit efficiently. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We will architect the power of e-services to recontextualize.