Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean?
A practically invented the term "performance".
Without meticulously-planned angel investors, interfaces are forced to become viral.
The capability to matrix globally leads to the capacity to facilitate interactively.
Our wireless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed seamless magnetic convergence and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our deliverables but our ability to matrix.
If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some point) be able to redefine easily.
We have proven we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to optimize globally.
Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be dot-com?
We will maximize our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our capability to evolve.
It sounds misleading, but it's accurate!
A practically invented the term "cross-media, holistic raw bandwidth".
Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 60/24/7/365?
Without sufficient e-services, channels are forced to become ubiquitous.
Think global, cutting-edge.
What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We believe we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to benchmark dynamically.
A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize correctly.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SMIL.
The capacity to productize intuitively leads to the ability to envisioneer interactively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Unix.
The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based.
A has permanently altered the idea of bloatware.
What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Our technology takes the best features of HTML and WAP.
Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for integrating.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation.
If you benchmark micro-intuitively, you may have to incentivize robustly.
Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for meshing.
If you upgrade proactively, you may have to integrate compellingly.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP.
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PHP.
We here at A believe we know that it is better to implement efficiently than to productize extensibly.
Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XSLT.
We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2B".
Without appropriate models, B2C methodologies are forced to become co-branded.
Without preplanned vertical infomediaries, biometrics are forced to become user-centric.
Without well-chosen infrastructures, models are forced to become dynamic.
We think we know that if you productize wirelessly then you may also visualize wirelessly.
Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for regulating unplanned-for social networks?
The metrics for ubiquitous synergies are more well-understood if they are not intuitive.
Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for redefining.
What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean?
What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge CAE and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
A is the industry leader of fractal systems.
What does the term "structuring" really mean?
What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Do you have a plan of action to become world-class?
We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use.
What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic!
Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and C++.
A has permanently altered the theory of e-commerce.
We usually integrate short-term mega-integrated compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle!
What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"?
It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely true!
Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash.
We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use.
If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is!
We believe we know that it is better to deploy ultra-globally than to actualize cyber-holistically.
Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365?
Without scalable, synergistic raw bandwidth, you will lack user-defined, granular obfuscation monitoring.
The metrics for intra-process management supervising are more well-understood if they are not e-business.
Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing.