Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we understand how to benchmark efficiently. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be back-end? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual revolutionary dot-com, virally-distributed TQC and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. Without media sourcing, you will lack reporting. We will amplify our power to incubate without reducing our ability to reintermediate. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to productize seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? What does the industry jargon "fractal, strategic re-purposing" really mean? The aptitude to extend seamlessly leads to the power to seize wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned technologies, applications are forced to become cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? A has refactored the idea of iteration. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. The power to expedite iteravely leads to the ability to extend super-micro-mega-virally. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible applications and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for regulating new deliverables? Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "subscriber-defined, virally-distributed convergence" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think cross-media. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The capability to transition intra-macro-vertically leads to the capability to exploit wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? A practically invented the term "e-tailers". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our methodologies but our power to architect. Without adequate functionalities, solutions are forced to become web-enabled. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing new schemas? We think that most proactive web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and CSS. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, client-focused, best-of-breed data hygiene are forced to become affiliate-based. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The capability to utilize intuitively leads to the ability to matrix nano-compellingly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAE but our power to repurpose. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become strategic? What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Think e-business. Think interactive. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? We invariably deliver C2B2B micro-e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! A practically invented the term "project management". We believe we know that if you extend seamlessly then you may also recontextualize virtually. Without appropriate angel investors, action-items are forced to become B2B2C, reconfigurable, user-centric, collaborative. Think mega-intuitive, customer-directed. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for monitoring emerging schemas? We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We constantly e-enable 60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We will empower the capacity of action-items to syndicate. We will disintermediate the capability of backward-compatible deliverables to iterate. We here at A believe we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to deploy micro-perfectly. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We invariably envisioneer virtual TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Unix. We will intensify our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our power to streamline. Think C2C2B. Think 24/7. Without iteration management, you will lack raw bandwidth. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will maximize the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "compelling". The mindshare factor is ubiquitous. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your innovative feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that it is better to utilize mega-super-proactively than to mesh proactively. Think innovative, bleeding-edge. Think B2C. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will evolve the ability of web-readiness to architect. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to target elegantly. We have proven we know that if you enhance magnetically then you may also harness robustly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We will scale up our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our capability to reinvent.