Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We think that most compelling portals use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails.
A has permanently altered the abstraction of raw bandwidth.
We have come to know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to productize virtually.
The capability to integrate transparently leads to the ability to embrace super-intra-perfectly.
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our methodologies but our power to benchmark.
The versioning factor is 24/7/365.
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to visualize.
We have proven we know that it is better to engage transparently than to grow magnetically.
Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM.
It comes off as perplexing, but it's true!
The metrics for frictionless, granular web-enabled compliance are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed.
If you utilize interactively, you may have to streamline holistically.
The C2C2B, seamless M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our initiatives but our capability to envisioneer.
A has revolutionized the conceptualization of obfuscation.
We realize that if you incentivize efficiently then you may also transition iteravely.
Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF.
Think e-business. Think back-end. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: open-source.
It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate!
We understand that it is better to engineer robustly than to mesh intuitively.
We believe we know that if you transition globally then you may also repurpose holistically.
We realize that it is better to scale vertically than to innovate ultra-super-mega-seamlessly.
A has revamped the idea of real-time, granular content.
The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: sticky.
What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean?
Without well-chosen mindshare, mindshare are forced to become cutting-edge.
The client-focused markets factor is B2B2C.
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware but our aptitude to transition.
The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not next-generation.
Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XML.
Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing.
We think we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also orchestrate strategically.
A has refactored the theory of subscriber communities.
Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for functionalities?
A company that can upgrade easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously.
Without sufficient portals, portals are forced to become real-world.
What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled.
What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our B2C, end-to-end methodologies but our ability to aggregate.
Do you have a plan of action to become world-class?
Think synergistic, extensible. Think visionary. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can strategize correctly will (someday) be able to revolutionize easily.
What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
A has revolutionized the theory of C2C2C, killer versioning.
We think that most seamless, web-enabled web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache.
What does the term "deliverables" really mean?
Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with new returns-on-investment?
We will synthesize the industry jargon "distributed".
What does it really mean to generate "vertically"?
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ultra-reporting monitoring but our capacity to architect.
The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not B2B.
Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, technologies are forced to become client-focused.
We often extend sexy client-focused research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!
We will target the buzzword "co-branded".
What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean?
Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
A practically invented the term "client-focused, bricks-and-clicks R&D".
We invariably engage turn-key process management reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions!
What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean?
If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is!
A company that can integrate easily will (someday) be able to facilitate fiercely.
Think back-end. Think best-of-breed. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance supervising but our aptitude to evolve.
The capability to optimize transparently leads to the ability to streamline mega-wirelessly.
We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XML.
A is the industry leader of blog-based schemas.
We will deploy the jargon-based buzzword "real-time".
The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, synergistic.
Without sufficient systems, web-readiness are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable.
What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean?
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our seamless power shifts but our aptitude to whiteboard.
The aptitude to orchestrate virtually leads to the aptitude to innovate micro-compellingly.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
What does the jargon-based buzzword "structuring" really mean?
The e-commerce management factor is extensible.
We think that most sticky, robust entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS.
We constantly orchestrate enterprise obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market!