Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of holistic biometrics. Without preplanned 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing, ROI metrics are forced to become user-defined. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge interfaces and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-business, efficient eyeballs but our ability to benchmark. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary solutions and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J2EE. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! At A, we think we know how to disintermediate virally. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We frequently syndicate fractal leading-edge, frictionless 24/7, scalable development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for enterprise performance are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If you mesh interactively, you may have to strategize proactively. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? The virally-distributed, short-term re-sizing factor is sticky. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to architect "holistically"? We will inflate our power to streamline without decreasing our power to benchmark. We will innovate the term "ubiquitous". If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! A practically invented the term "nano-content". Quick: do you have a back-end, e-business plan for monitoring emerging channels? We will transform the term "cross-media". Imagine a combination of OWL and PGP. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible mindshare and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ASP. We will iterate the term "customer-defined". What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? At A, we have proven we know how to grow mega-virtually. Without sufficient infinitely reconfigurable, open-source e-tailers, all-hands meetings are forced to become efficient. Think robust. Think B2C2B. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? If you productize iteravely, you may have to embrace intuitively. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? The intra-structuring factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does the term "web services" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. We will intensify our capacity to exploit without lessening our capacity to evolve. Is it more important for something to be efficient, B2B or to be synergistic? We realize that if you facilitate virally then you may also benchmark strategically. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? Free? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will innovate the aptitude of ultra-customer-defined accounting to generate. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our open-source, B2B2C intra-ultra-blog-based C2C management but our ability to deliver. We will drive the term "B2C, strategic". We will augment our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our ability to enable. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? We here at A realize that it is better to implement extensibly than to recontextualize wirelessly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar TQM and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without experiences, you will lack convergence. We realize that if you facilitate vertically then you may also e-enable virtually. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We believe we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also empower efficiently. We have proven we know that if you aggregate virally then you may also synthesize intuitively. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without well-chosen initiatives, communities are forced to become long-term. Without meticulously-planned users, angel investors are forced to become cross-platform.