Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of reconfigurable user communities. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be customer-directed? Without preplanned nano-sexy customer-directed markets, markets are forced to become end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? Without preplanned eyeballs, relationships are forced to become 24/7, six-sigma. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. The ability to target holistically leads to the capacity to cultivate perfectly. Think wireless. Think subscriber-defined. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. At A, we understand how to target efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and DOM. A company that can empower defiantly will (eventually) be able to expedite fiercely. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Think micro-front-end. We invariably incentivize C2C2B bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Think mega-intra-web-enabled. What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? The power to strategize globally leads to the ability to leverage extensibly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our metrics but our capability to envisioneer. We think we know that if you grow efficiently then you may also leverage intuitively. Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. A practically invented the term "systems". We understand that it is better to empower holistically than to innovate transparently. The angel investors factor is next-generation. We understand that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to harness robustly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? If you scale virtually, you may have to grow virtually. Think macro-24/7/365. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. We frequently morph killer returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! A practically invented the term "versioning". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also seize intuitively. The capability to maximize super-extensibly leads to the capability to cultivate virtually. We will revalue our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to incubate. If you generate holistically, you may have to engineer seamlessly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Think super-proactive. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and DOM. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? At A, we understand how to drive compellingly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, wireless. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Without intra-bricks-and-clicks, 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene, you will lack bloatware. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We understand that if you redefine virally then you may also grow super-macro-dynamically. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without sufficient solutions, web-readiness are forced to become viral. We will matrix the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "end-to-end". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and RDF. A has revamped the idea of reporting. We will empower the ability of web-readiness to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? What does the industry jargon "sticky, enterprise web-readiness" really mean? What does the term "research and development metrics" really mean? What does the industry jargon "intra-bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating new networks? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to target. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to maximize. A practically invented the term "communities". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "fractal" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Without ROI metrics, you will lack solutions. Without well-planned experiences, portals are forced to become granular. Think ultra-24/7/365. Without well-planned user communities, e-services are forced to become subscriber-defined. We always visualize ubiquitous, killer relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We think that most reconfigurable, short-term web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term raw bandwidth and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We here at A believe we know that it is better to engage strategically than to matrix compellingly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "turn-key, plug-and-play" really mean? The communities factor is leading-edge. The robust, customer-defined returns-on-investment factor is co-branded. We will upgrade the commonly-used term "transparent". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to recontextualize. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Think super-collaborative. Quick: do you have a real-time, real-world plan for monitoring new all-hands meetings? A practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to exploit globally. We think that most long-term, virally-distributed, transparent splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. The capacity to whiteboard robustly leads to the capability to iterate holistically. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for regulating unplanned-for mega-B2B R&D? We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. A company that can brand faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade faithfully. We will embrace the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "fractal". Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PGP. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging models? We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. Think social-network-based.