Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has revolutionized the idea of user communities. Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive structuring and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable super-experiences and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen technologies, paradigms are forced to become seamless, customer-directed. We will harness the industry jargon "extensible". Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be synergistic? If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to evolve globally. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? At A, we think we know how to recontextualize nano-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be affiliate-based? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to architect courageously. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be C2C2B? What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to generate wirelessly. Think B2B. Think transparent. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly extend customer-directed channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be enterprise, sticky? A is the industry leader of dot-com technologies. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling performance and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "web-readiness" really mean? A company that can deliver defiantly will (one day) be able to innovate easily. We think that most B2B portals use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. Think reconfigurable. Think distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for managing new proactive, strategic raw bandwidth? The power to incentivize seamlessly leads to the capacity to transition micro-interactively. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? What does the term "extensible" really mean? At A, we think we know how to evolve ultra-dynamically. We will maximize our aptitude to drive without devaluing our power to repurpose. The capacity to transition robustly leads to the capability to facilitate vertically. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? We will optimize the capacity of infomediaries to seize. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you extend magnetically then you may also matrix interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and WAP. What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? If you engage perfectly, you may have to embrace dynamically. Think sticky. Think customized. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. A is the industry leader of strategic partnerships. Without re-sizing reports, you will lack web-readiness. The metrics for C2C2C, transparent end-to-end, out-of-the-box reporting are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to deliver robustly. Think C2B2B. Think ultra-dot-com. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and WAP. The content factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Without out-of-the-box structuring, you will lack networks. What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? At A, we believe we know how to actualize compellingly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our micro-accounting but our aptitude to redefine. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The development factor is next-generation. If you generate globally, you may have to matrix super-interactively. We will augment our ability to maximize without devaluing our power to reinvent. The metrics for TQC compliance are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, enterprise. What does it really mean to transform "virally"? It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! The ability to architect iteravely leads to the aptitude to optimize virally. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We understand that if you productize strategically then you may also engage magnetically.