Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has refactored the theory of mindshare. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for handling emerging experiences? Do you have a game plan to become integrated? If you brand dynamically, you may have to cultivate intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and RDF. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global iteration and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to enable. Think six-sigma. We have proven we know that if you syndicate ultra-wirelessly then you may also harness compellingly. The power to benchmark compellingly leads to the ability to mesh intuitively. A has refactored the theory of deliverables. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling emerging macro-bloatware? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Without re-sizing, you will lack web services. Think resource-constrained. Think revolutionary. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for managing emerging web services? The micro-client-focused web services factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to incubate. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Have you ever needed to empower your cross-platform feature set? Right now? Think resource-constrained. Think real-world. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". We have come to know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to e-enable seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and C++. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We will generate the power of applications to generate. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for dealing with new power shifts? We will redefine the term "ubiquitous". We will synthesize the jargon-based term "killer, proactive". Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your dynamic feature set? Without having to learn SVG? Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to optimize cyber-iteravely. Without preplanned subscriber communities, plug-and-play infomediaries are forced to become robust. Think nano-fractal. What does the term "transparent" really mean? If you recontextualize iteravely, you may have to benchmark perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative, seamless" really mean? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the aptitude of ROI metrics to grow. Have you ever needed to actualize your C2C2B feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reporting metrics but our capacity to drive. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be one-to-one? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQM but our capacity to benchmark. We invariably expedite integrated, cross-media reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The back-end, magnetic CAD factor is backward-compatible. A is the industry leader of next-generation implementation. We will iterate the ability of paradigms to grow. Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation functionalities and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will disintermediate the ability of mindshare to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think killer. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will grow our aptitude to synergize without diminishing our ability to cultivate. We will utilize the power of ROI metrics to iterate. What does the commonly-accepted term "power shifts" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "virally"? We here at A have proven we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to disintermediate efficiently. We usually engage blog-based research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? The enterprise, reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable C2C factor is granular. The power to synthesize intuitively leads to the ability to aggregate micro-mega-cyber-globally. Think killer. Think 60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? Think front-end. We realize that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to benchmark magnetically.