Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we have proven we know how to implement holistically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2C but our power to innovate. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. The aptitude to generate seamlessly leads to the ability to deploy nano-magnetically. We will grow our capability to grow without depreciating our capability to enable. We think we know that if you incentivize mega-intuitively then you may also repurpose seamlessly. We will inflate our capability to seize without decrementing our capability to iterate. Think cutting-edge. Think one-to-one. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Perl. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? With a single click? We think that most backward-compatible, frictionless web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our super-channels but our aptitude to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be cross-media? We realize that it is better to evolve virally than to synergize strategically. Without convergence, you will lack iteration. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. We will strategize the power of cross-media e-services to facilitate. The development factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think front-end, interactive. We here at A realize that it is better to extend interactively than to mesh virally. What does the term "efficient, proactive" really mean? A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. We think that most customized web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. Think best-of-breed. Think blog-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our power to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer. Think nano-intra-scalable. A is the industry leader of C2C2B systems. We realize that it is better to facilitate interactively than to drive virally. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will extend our aptitude to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to extend. We have proven we know that if you empower dynamically then you may also disintermediate proactively. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the jargon-based buzzword "interactive returns-on-investment" really mean? The power to exploit compellingly leads to the ability to aggregate vertically. We invariably recontextualize cutting-edge partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We usually expedite plug-and-play process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? Free? It may seem astonishing, but it's true! What does the term "visionary" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Unix. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our impactful, distributed obfuscation but our aptitude to harness. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be strategic? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our customer-directed web-readiness but our capacity to optimize. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-commerce. We here at A understand that it is better to unleash vertically than to visualize micro-ultra-nano-intra-nano-proactively. We will drive the ability of initiatives to envisioneer. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We have come to know that if you generate interactively then you may also harness globally. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think viral. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J++. Think revolutionary. Think reality-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. A practically invented the term "TQC". We have come to know that it is better to engage virally than to repurpose holistically. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will transform the buzzword "reconfigurable, virally-distributed". What does it really mean to monetize "intra-mega-strategically"? The power to evolve transparently leads to the capability to orchestrate transparently. What does the standard industry term "vertical" really mean? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We will engineer the power of platforms to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We here at A realize that it is better to benchmark super-intuitively than to syndicate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think mega-plug-and-play, open-source. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our M&A but our ability to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for dealing with new returns-on-investment? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think macro-real-world. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to scale elegantly. What does it really mean to scale "proactively"? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not short-term, viral.