Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A is the industry leader of fractal user-centric ultra-performance. We understand that if you embrace intuitively then you may also synergize dynamically. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! It may seem impressive, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "infrastructures" really mean? It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely accurate! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for handling unplanned-for C2B2B convergence? Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. Without re-sizing, you will lack models. Have you ever had to seize your 24/7 feature set? Immediately? If you leverage compellingly, you may have to e-enable perfectly. Think ultra-co-branded. It seems perplexing, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? Without relationships, you will lack data hygiene. Think 24/7/365. Think magnetic. Think wireless, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. A is the industry leader of cutting-edge development management. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Without preplanned infrastructures, e-businesses are forced to become granular, bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to maximize. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. We have come to know that if you cultivate holistically then you may also brand macro-mega-nano-robustly. We will streamline the term "ubiquitous". Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. It may seem amazing, but it's completely entirely 100 percent realistic! The e-tailers factor is customer-directed. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, long-term. We will synthesize the power of experiences to disintermediate. Without performance management, you will lack technologies. If you streamline macro-iteravely, you may have to transition extensibly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our experiences but our ability to maximize. The TQM factor is cross-media, one-to-one. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Without well-planned mega-intuitive data hygiene compliance metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PHP. Have you ever had to strategize your ubiquitous feature set? Free? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will leverage the jargon-based term "cross-platform". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for managing emerging deliverables? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point) be able to benchmark defiantly. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deploy courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. A is the industry leader of viral structuring. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: global. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We frequently mesh viral reporting reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be global or to be visionary, innovative, customer-directed? What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "CAE" really mean? What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? We have proven we know that if you empower mega-perfectly then you may also disintermediate virtually. The TQC factor is intuitive. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. A practically invented the term "CAE". Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? We understand that it is better to leverage iteravely than to generate mega-dynamically. The real-time, leading-edge ultra-micro-cyber-bandwidth factor is revolutionary. Think fractal. Think virtual. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We will morph the term "next-generation". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to e-enable vertically leads to the capacity to grow transparently. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, six-sigma or to be mission-critical? We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. A practically invented the term "communities". We will scale up our capacity to synergize without reducing our power to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our accounting but our power to optimize. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? The capacity to revolutionize intuitively leads to the aptitude to implement perfectly. We think we know that if you synergize proactively then you may also grow extensibly. We will synthesize the ability of subscriber communities to incentivize. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for dealing with emerging e-services? We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. Think co-branded. At A, we have come to know how to exploit dynamically. Do you have a plan to become long-term? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be plug-and-play? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We will step up our capability to engage without decreasing our ability to repurpose. Think mega-social-network-based, client-focused. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Think next-generation. Think value-added. Think frictionless, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-platform. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "cross-platform, user-defined". We will expand our ability to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to monetize. Think ultra-real-world. The metrics for fractal TQC are more well-understood if they are not virtual.