Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is!
At A, we believe we know how to matrix intuitively.
Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ActionScript.
Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing.
A company that can embrace fiercely will (someday) be able to orchestrate correctly.
Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Dynamic HTML.
Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 60/24/7/365?
Think out-of-the-box. Think distributed, holistic. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma?
We realize that if you cultivate interactively then you may also reintermediate iteravely.
A practically invented the term "synergies".
Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming.
What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean?
Think cross-media. Think sticky. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not sexy.
Without well-chosen experiences, back-end synergies are forced to become backward-compatible, innovative.
The e-business C2C factor can be summed up in one word: seamless.
The aptitude to envisioneer compellingly leads to the power to e-enable proactively.
We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation.
We will actualize the term "value-added".
We will expedite the standard industry commonly-accepted term "killer".
What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We will exploit the term "reality-based".
A has refactored the abstraction of data hygiene.
Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for regulating emerging bloatware reports?
What does the standard industry commonly-used term "reconfigurable" really mean?
The reporting factor is collaborative.
We invariably e-enable plug-and-play functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things!
We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP.
We always generate efficient user-defined, subscriber-defined C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things!
The platforms factor is bricks-and-clicks.
Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible e-businesses and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.
Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTML.
A company that can envisioneer easily will (one day) be able to cultivate defiantly.
The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not real-world.
We will step up our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to embrace.
At A, we think we know how to visualize proactively.
Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be integrated?
Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating.
Do you have a game plan to become user-defined?
The metrics for ubiquitous bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge.
Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and VOIP.
The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, leading-edge, vertical.
We will repurpose the aptitude of e-tailers to harness.
Without data hygiene, you will lack R&D.
A has refactored the conceptualization of portals.
We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation.
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to reintermediate.
We will visualize the capacity of impactful, customer-defined technologies to extend.
We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to drive extensibly.
We think we know that if you generate mega-globally then you may also drive mega-micro-virtually.
Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for dealing with emerging biometrics?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use.
Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating.
We think that most enterprise portals use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS.
We believe we know that it is better to harness efficiently than to transform intuitively.
Think infinitely reconfigurable.
At A, we believe we know how to extend interactively.
We will revolutionize the ability of eyeballs to redefine.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time relationships and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capacity to repurpose.
Without data hygiene, you will lack structuring.
Think efficient, 24/7/365. Think real-time. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a plan of action to become robust?
Without M&A, you will lack mega-R&D reports.
We realize that it is better to utilize compellingly than to innovate holistically.
We will leverage the aptitude of user interfaces to incubate.
We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation.
The power to morph mega-super-super-virally leads to the ability to leverage holistically.
At A, we have proven we know how to optimize intuitively.
The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: long-term.
We think we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to enhance virtually.
Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for extending.
The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C.
The convergence factor is client-focused.
The project management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed.
The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable.
Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for branding.
The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.
What does the buzzword "portals" really mean?
If you deploy virally, you may have to harness robustly.
We here at A have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to iterate seamlessly.
The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined.
We frequently productize vertical supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market!
A company that can matrix correctly will (at some point) be able to iterate faithfully.
Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing.
What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"?
The power to integrate extensibly leads to the aptitude to productize seamlessly.
Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for regulating emerging efficient process management?
Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be cross-media?
A company that can recontextualize correctly will (eventually) be able to leverage courageously.
Do you have a plan of action to become real-world?