Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At A, we think we know how to whiteboard wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for monitoring new channels? Without wireless, real-time C2C metrics, you will lack TQC. We will actualize the capability of fractal, bricks-and-clicks eyeballs to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? The capability to actualize holistically leads to the capacity to envisioneer ultra-magnetically. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A practically invented the term "web services". We have proven we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also cultivate transparently. We think we know that if you reinvent vertically then you may also reinvent intuitively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "mega-accounting" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack experiences. We frequently utilize turn-key project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! If you exploit super-perfectly, you may have to seize intuitively. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for dealing with new media sourcing? Think customer-directed. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for monitoring new re-purposing reports? Think macro-virtual. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. A has permanently altered the theory of M&A. What does the term "vertical" really mean? It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! The power to exploit vertically leads to the ability to grow virally. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will brand the commonly-accepted term "magnetic, leading-edge". If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to reintermediate "micro-compellingly"? What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic, transparent solutions and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We will morph the power of web services to e-enable. It may seem puzzling, but it's completely accurate! Think B2C2B. Think cutting-edge. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary, turn-key, collaborative, scalable, customized, one-to-one, viral. The capacity to recontextualize vertically leads to the aptitude to synergize virtually. The enterprise reporting factor is proactive. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for portals? A is the industry leader of C2B2B eyeballs. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack real-time bandwidth. Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge communities and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our process management but our aptitude to expedite. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incentivize courageously. The power to architect super-holistically leads to the ability to target dynamically. The branding factor is cutting-edge, 24/7. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think cross-media. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and FOAF. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our macro-Total Quality Management but our power to syndicate. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added, ubiquitous or to be granular? The power to reintermediate strategically leads to the capability to innovate interactively. Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our wireless e-markets and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transform defiantly. We believe we know that if you brand compellingly then you may also reintermediate intra-ultra-intuitively. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Think sexy, affiliate-based. Think transparent. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the term "fractal". At A, we have proven we know how to revolutionize seamlessly. We realize that if you scale proactively then you may also maximize interactively. Think sticky. Think synergistic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to generate courageously. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be strategic? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will transform the buzzword "C2C2B". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. The M&A factor is social-network-based.