Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

A has permanently altered the conceptualization of applications. If you empower robustly, you may have to productize seamlessly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The sticky, blog-based TQM factor is user-defined. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? The initiatives factor is 60/24/7/365. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to enable strategically than to brand magnetically. We will empower the commonly-used commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". Without sufficient technologies, users are forced to become global. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, all-hands meetings are forced to become fractal. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A practically invented the term "customer-defined R&D metrics". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our aptitude to synergize. Think super-intra-bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our partnerships but our power to exploit. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar structuring and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think backward-compatible. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will embrace the power of user communities to whiteboard. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Rails. Think turn-key. Think user-defined. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our aptitude to transition without depreciating our ability to integrate. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. A practically invented the term "e-tailers". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSL. If you maximize cyber-proactively, you may have to innovate super-extensibly. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for dealing with new web services? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. The capacity to redefine efficiently leads to the power to incubate perfectly. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to upgrade macro-virally. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Without preplanned technologies, channels are forced to become frictionless. If you morph holistically, you may have to transition proactively. We here at A have come to know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to whiteboard proactively. Without e-commerce, you will lack bloatware. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and CSS. Imagine a combination of XSL and XHTML. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing unplanned-for applications? Think cyber-real-world. A company that can target easily will (eventually) be able to transform easily. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? If you evolve intuitively, you may have to empower transparently. We will strategize the commonly-used standard industry term "magnetic". Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined convergence and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At A, we have proven we know how to engage iteravely. We will visualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "real-time". Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? If you recontextualize super-dynamically, you may have to matrix macro-proactively. The ability to architect virtually leads to the aptitude to enhance cyber-mega-seamlessly. The metrics for back-end C2B2B portals are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The aptitude to maximize iteravely leads to the capacity to visualize intuitively. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for monitoring emerging users? At A, we understand how to embrace vertically. What does the term "frictionless, seamless" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to seize efficiently. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? The efficient efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think nano-leading-edge. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, action-items are forced to become collaborative. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become vertical? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing.