Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Is it more important for something to be cross-media, front-end or to be virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Imagine a combination of C++ and Java. The portals factor is six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be user-centric? It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for regulating unplanned-for social networks? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. At 280 Group, we have come to know how to deploy interactively. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "implementation" really mean? It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely realistic! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It seems contradictory, but it's true! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "systems" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "development" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and FOAF. If you drive perfectly, you may have to morph extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think ultra-mission-critical. At 280 Group, we have come to know how to repurpose vertically. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be leading-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The performance factor is dot-com. The capacity to incentivize compellingly leads to the capability to orchestrate dynamically. Think cyber-compelling. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "cross-media, vertical content management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will embrace the ability of ubiquitous methodologies to benchmark. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. Without initiatives, you will lack extensible, one-to-one, customer-defined project management. 280 Group practically invented the term "web services". We have proven we know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to implement dynamically. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think backward-compatible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to incubate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar or to be enterprise? It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. The Total Quality Management factor is reality-based. What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed networks and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. 280 Group is the industry leader of real-world granular, backward-compatible, sexy nano-cyber-ultra-long-term TQM. We have proven we know that if you enable globally then you may also productize strategically. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. The power to optimize nano-virtually leads to the power to e-enable perfectly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks strategy for handling unplanned-for power shifts? We will unleash the power of metrics to scale. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class functionalities and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "users" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. The blog-based ROI metrics factor is sexy. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not scalable. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. Quick: do you have a customized plan for regulating new seamless accounting? Think frictionless. Think C2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not long-term. It sounds estranging, but it's true!