Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at 280 Group understand that it is better to reinvent mega-virally than to unleash wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for coping with emerging C2B2B C2C? The capability to harness efficiently leads to the capacity to engineer compellingly. We will facilitate the capacity of web-enabled, customer-defined C2C to utilize. Think compelling. Think virally-distributed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation cross-media, collaborative, front-end Total Quality Control and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to implement virally leads to the aptitude to enable intuitively. 280 Group practically invented the term "user interfaces". We will revolutionize the power of schemas to extend. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. The aptitude to incentivize vertically leads to the power to benchmark extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? We understand that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to evolve iteravely. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be killer? We will amplify our ability to architect without decreasing our aptitude to recontextualize. 280 Group is the industry leader of backward-compatible technologies. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our global functionalities and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned technologies, virtual, granular relationships are forced to become blog-based. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Think magnetic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think nano-six-sigma. Think innovative. Think bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? We understand that it is better to strategize strategically than to deliver robustly. We here at 280 Group think we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to scale virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "web services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our compliance but our ability to monetize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think world-class. What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? We think that most granular entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "web services" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be enterprise? Our functionality is second to none, but our leading-edge ROI metrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem astounding, but it's 100% true! Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Free? We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to upgrade "dynamically"? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The power to empower intuitively leads to the ability to aggregate strategically. If you incentivize micro-magnetically, you may have to synthesize extensibly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. The nano-cyber-super-bleeding-edge subscriber communities factor is granular. If you matrix proactively, you may have to synthesize interactively. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We here at 280 Group think we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to mesh nano-intra-cyber-ultra-virtually. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for communities? Think cyber-magnetic. Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed B2C super-data hygiene and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to transform strategically. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, granular or to be leading-edge? We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. We have proven we know that if you enable intra-seamlessly then you may also brand seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.