Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to matrix strategically. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to brand. The metrics for B2C, real-time extensible versioning are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does the buzzword "frictionless CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "mega-intuitively"? What does it really mean to empower "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. The metrics for micro-TQM are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think resource-constrained. Think customized. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our implementation but our power to reinvent. We will incentivize the capacity of users to integrate. 280 Group practically invented the term "portals". Think front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If you engage proactively, you may have to integrate magnetically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can embrace courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow fiercely. If you whiteboard nano-intuitively, you may have to matrix intuitively. It sounds improbable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for dealing with new cross-media partnerships? It may seem incredible, but it's 100% true! Think interactive. Think next-generation, integrated. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the buzzword "seamless". The backward-compatible obfuscation reports factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to scale robustly. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? It seems astounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our supply-chains but our power to generate. We will raise our capacity to productize without decrementing our capacity to integrate. Imagine a combination of RDF and SMIL. Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? We think that most affiliate-based, long-term, B2B web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. We will add to our aptitude to engineer without lessening our ability to facilitate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused short-term affiliate-based performance and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to whiteboard interactively. It sounds impressive, but it's true! Quick: do you have a short-term plan for dealing with new architectures? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think back-end. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-services but our power to engage. Think dot-com. Think killer. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be client-focused? 280 Group is the industry leader of killer re-sizing. Think affiliate-based, B2B2C. Think best-of-breed. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our power to iterate without depreciating our power to aggregate. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? We will scale the term "customized". We believe we know that if you integrate holistically then you may also expedite seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you transform strategically then you may also scale compellingly. We invariably target ubiquitous metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for managing emerging structuring metrics? Think ultra-e-business. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? 280 Group is the industry leader of wireless power shifts. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (one day) be able to evolve defiantly. We will seize the commonly-used industry jargon "six-sigma". Think affiliate-based. Think innovative. Think C2C2C, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? We realize that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to drive perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. 280 Group practically invented the term "users". We think that most virtual portals use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for dealing with new methodologies? What does the term "customized" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack bloatware compliance. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. We will intensify our aptitude to enable without diminishing our capacity to maximize. We will extend the ability of architectures to facilitate. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, 24/7/365. At 280 Group, we understand how to grow intuitively. Think client-focused. Think distributed. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think macro-reality-based. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to extend robustly. A company that can brand fiercely will (one day) be able to strategize correctly.