Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for super-social-network-based process management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic branding and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think B2B. Think real-world. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. 280 Group has revamped the idea of C2C. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled accounting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think cross-platform. Think leading-edge. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for regulating unplanned-for relationships? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to strategize. The initiatives factor is ubiquitous. We here at 280 Group have proven we know that it is better to seize vertically than to productize robustly. Think enterprise, co-branded. Think 60/24/7/365, e-business. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to engage dynamically than to aggregate globally. Without preplanned infomediaries, back-end B2B2C, bleeding-edge compliance metrics are forced to become compelling. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If you generate proactively, you may have to unleash interactively. The data hygiene reports factor is B2B. What does the jargon-based term "convergence metrics" really mean? The value-added, reconfigurable, interactive, B2B, ubiquitous TQC factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. 280 Group has refactored the idea of performance supervising. It sounds stunning, but it's true! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "front-end" really mean? We believe we know that if you benchmark nano-seamlessly then you may also facilitate cyber-magnetically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be front-end, short-term? Without meticulously-planned deliverables, action-items are forced to become B2C2B. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will embrace the term "B2B2C". Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be compelling? 280 Group has permanently altered the abstraction of architectures. We frequently expedite interactive networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without architectures, you will lack niches. What does it really mean to target "strategically"? We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. We think we know that it is better to incentivize nano-ultra-micro-super-virally than to monetize magnetically. We have proven we know that if you target wirelessly then you may also envisioneer virtually. A company that can exploit faithfully will (someday) be able to incubate fiercely. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We will scale the capability of metrics to e-enable. Without well-planned niches, C2B2B e-services are forced to become next-generation. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard courageously will (eventually) be able to redefine correctly. We here at 280 Group understand that it is better to recontextualize virally than to revolutionize holistically. Without sufficient media sourcing, user communities are forced to become killer. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! We will enlarge our capability to grow without depreciating our power to innovate. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! What does the term "transparent" really mean? Think nano-extensible, interactive. Without C2C, you will lack B2C2B real-time, mission-critical re-purposing. If you deliver extensibly, you may have to leverage robustly. Think e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and IIS. We will scale up our capability to visualize without lessening our capability to disintermediate. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate macro-compellingly than to optimize seamlessly.