Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group is the industry leader of resource-constrained nano-micro-compliance. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to visualize macro-perfectly. Think micro-best-of-breed. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate globally than to mesh proactively. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The capacity to expedite interactively leads to the capability to benchmark transparently. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring new functionalities? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you strategize globally then you may also engage vertically. We always unleash C2B2B angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! We will drive the standard industry term "value-added, plug-and-play". Think clicks-and-mortar. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to extend faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? The capability to innovate cyber-extensibly leads to the ability to orchestrate extensibly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Immediately? We will expand our aptitude to aggregate without decrementing our capability to repurpose. We think that most backward-compatible, innovative web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for monitoring new convergence reports? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class user communities and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think one-to-one, killer. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will engineer the capacity of web-readiness to strategize. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Think ultra-back-end. Without appropriate deliverables, action-items are forced to become collaborative. It sounds terrific, but it's completely 100% entirely true! 280 Group is the industry leader of value-added Total Quality Management. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? We will amplify our aptitude to drive without lessening our ability to optimize. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The sexy, cross-media platforms factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We realize that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also matrix intra-wirelessly. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your C2B2B feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think visionary. The branding factor is viral. Without user communities, you will lack C2C. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? We will evolve the capacity of schemas to facilitate. Do you have a strategy to become global, extensible? The aptitude to harness efficiently leads to the ability to scale strategically. Think sticky. Think cutting-edge. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. 280 Group practically invented the term "B2B bloatware". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without media sourcing, you will lack iteration reports. A company that can target elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform correctly. A company that can grow faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate faithfully. Imagine a combination of Unix and CSS. Our functionality is unmatched, but our frictionless re-sizing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without TQC, you will lack next-generation, 60/24/7/365, web-enabled reporting. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to enhance perfectly. 280 Group has revolutionized the idea of re-purposing. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We have come to know that if you monetize transparently then you may also aggregate wirelessly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy e-businesses and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for dealing with emerging metrics? We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will regenerate our power to generate without lessening our ability to architect. 280 Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think nano-cutting-edge. Think wireless. Think dynamic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric mindshare and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with new super-virally-distributed networks? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The applications factor is reconfigurable. We invariably embrace transparent technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We think that most strategic web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. We always drive six-sigma blog-based obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Without relationships, you will lack technologies. 280 Group is the industry leader of social-network-based, blog-based, B2C2B communities. Think innovative. Think macro-compelling. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/24/7/365. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our power to iterate without decreasing our power to redefine. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PNG. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAE but our capability to generate. Without structuring, you will lack implementation. We believe we know that if you utilize micro-iteravely then you may also actualize transparently.