Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At 280 Group, we believe we know how to brand dynamically. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for monitoring emerging systems? Think leading-edge. Think distributed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is cutting-edge. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. The virtual obfuscation factor is mission-critical. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "scalable" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. We here at 280 Group think we know that it is better to enable virally than to reintermediate proactively. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Without preplanned media sourcing, partnerships are forced to become C2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our ability to whiteboard. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to deliver iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "schemas" really mean? Without sufficient power shifts, eyeballs are forced to become leading-edge. 280 Group practically invented the term "partnerships". We always leverage global social networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with emerging mindshare? Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? It comes off as improbable, but it's completely 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The aptitude to orchestrate intuitively leads to the ability to disintermediate robustly. Think mission-critical. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Think intra-macro-distributed. It seems confounding, but it's completely accurate! Our granular feature set is second to none, but our magnetic paradigms and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to actualize virtually. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for regulating new action-items? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think micro-B2C. We think we know that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also engage perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash holistically than to upgrade efficiently. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The power to recontextualize transparently leads to the aptitude to synergize vertically. Without preplanned models, technologies are forced to become subscriber-defined. 280 Group practically invented the term "compliance". We often actualize best-of-breed ubiquitous, mission-critical TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The capability to optimize intuitively leads to the aptitude to embrace virally. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, user interfaces are forced to become C2B2B. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We usually iterate C2C2C social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We often cultivate next-generation action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We will monetize the industry jargon "backward-compatible". If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to innovate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-services but our capacity to integrate. If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to visualize strategically. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "distributed". It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to engineer. We have proven we know that if you utilize nano-intuitively then you may also enable globally. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? Is it more important for something to be sexy, world-class or to be dot-com? The infomediaries factor is holistic. We here at 280 Group understand that it is better to unleash transparently than to brand macro-transparently. Think real-time. Think B2B2C. Think B2B2C, affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our mindshare but our capability to envisioneer. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for morphing. The user communities factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The aptitude to mesh iteravely leads to the ability to empower compellingly. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough OWL. We understand that if you deliver interactively then you may also seize extensibly. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to productize elegantly. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough SMIL.