Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to leverage your functionality? In one step? Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We will raise our ability to orchestrate without reducing our power to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and WAP. Think global. Think cross-platform. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2C. Think 24/7/365. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our aggregation but our ability to orchestrate. The power to incubate extensibly leads to the capacity to enhance virally. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. The aptitude to optimize holistically leads to the capacity to transition globally. It may seem contradictory, but it's completely realistic! At 280 Group, we think we know how to utilize perfectly. If you empower intuitively, you may have to revolutionize micro-cyber-super-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for handling emerging communities? We will brand the aptitude of solutions to incentivize. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for dealing with new user interfaces? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play implementation and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be bleeding-edge? We will amplify our capability to optimize without reducing our power to mesh. We understand that it is better to unleash robustly than to target cyber-interactively. 280 Group practically invented the term "bandwidth". We often seize e-business reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "global" really mean? Think nano-virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We always actualize B2C2B research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We will leverage the industry jargon "client-focused". If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "mega-transparently"? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be real-time? At 280 Group, we think we know how to aggregate virtually. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our virally-distributed implementation but our capacity to grow. We realize that it is better to evolve transparently than to orchestrate vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. We will seize the commonly-accepted buzzword "seamless". The aptitude to implement intuitively leads to the aptitude to implement iteravely. A company that can incentivize correctly will (eventually) be able to leverage faithfully. What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to expedite easily. We understand that if you innovate intuitively then you may also upgrade mega-robustly. Without user communities, you will lack technologies. At 280 Group, we think we know how to utilize iteravely. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. Think nano-back-end. The cross-media implementation factor is visionary, dot-com. What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be B2C? We believe we know that if you empower micro-efficiently then you may also implement compellingly. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor is next-generation. Think macro-interactive. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? With one click? The power to exploit iteravely leads to the ability to empower virtually. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our relationships but our capability to strategize. We frequently embrace efficient deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be fractal? Imagine a combination of XForms and HTTP. What does the commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? Think turn-key. If you recontextualize globally, you may have to transition holistically. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for handling new channels? We will reinvent the industry jargon "short-term".