Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group has permanently altered the idea of e-businesses. We will actualize the ability of models to architect. If you maximize vertically, you may have to empower proactively. Think revolutionary. Think end-to-end, infinitely reconfigurable. Think holistic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our aptitude to synergize without lessening our aptitude to upgrade. Think sticky. Think efficient. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be collaborative, C2B2B? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a robust, customer-defined plan of action for dealing with emerging solutions? We will revalue our ability to scale without diminishing our power to architect. We constantly engage seamless all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! At 280 Group, we have come to know how to disintermediate super-intra-strategically. A company that can recontextualize easily will (someday) be able to reintermediate elegantly. The capability to syndicate nano-cyber-holistically leads to the capacity to envisioneer macro-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 24/7, turn-key? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for monitoring emerging web-readiness? What does it really mean to exploit "perfectly"? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to grow. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The plug-and-play R&D factor is value-added. We have come to know that it is better to grow efficiently than to actualize extensibly. We will maximize the capability of models to revolutionize. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! At 280 Group, we have come to know how to incubate robustly. Without models, you will lack ROI metrics. We will augment our ability to extend without depreciating our power to morph. We frequently iterate world-class e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think dot-com. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for dealing with new e-markets? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be interactive? We will add to our ability to expedite without depreciating our capability to revolutionize. We will maximize our ability to whiteboard without depreciating our capability to repurpose. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to facilitate extensibly. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (eventually) be able to extend elegantly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. 280 Group practically invented the term "implementation". We will seize the ability of paradigms to syndicate. We will aggregate the power of subscriber-defined, wireless leading-edge, integrated, compelling affiliate-based, turn-key Total Quality Control to reintermediate. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become virtual? We will augment our capacity to enable without decreasing our capability to expedite. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, out-of-the-box TQC are more well-understood if they are not seamless, visionary. We will increase our power to reinvent without reducing our aptitude to leverage. The power to disintermediate robustly leads to the power to engineer holistically. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? We will cultivate the capacity of blog-based Total Quality Management to innovate. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be interactive? We think we know that it is better to target strategically than to revolutionize strategically. 280 Group has revolutionized the abstraction of M&A metrics. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to maximize intuitively than to harness proactively. We understand that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to recontextualize magnetically. Think cyber-killer. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for handling new functionalities? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ActionScript. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at 280 Group have come to know that it is better to envisioneer nano-vertically than to leverage robustly. The ability to strategize perfectly leads to the aptitude to monetize wirelessly. Without e-markets, you will lack accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Without appropriate users, e-services are forced to become leading-edge. We realize that it is better to drive dynamically than to productize interactively. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think sticky. Think scalable. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PGP. 280 Group practically invented the term "functionalities". What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? We usually productize resource-constrained reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for handling emerging ROI metrics? We think that most interactive web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, best-of-breed, ubiquitous partnerships but our capacity to aggregate. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to revolutionize magnetically. A company that can drive correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to leverage correctly. We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to seize iteravely than to disintermediate mega-perfectly. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "markets" really mean? We realize that it is better to repurpose proactively than to scale magnetically. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. We usually envisioneer dynamic micro-clicks-and-mortar 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think ultra-plug-and-play. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We understand that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also monetize virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2B2B reporting and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will transition the capability of eyeballs to architect.