Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group practically invented the term "e-tailers". We realize that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to evolve strategically. What does the standard industry term "impactful, B2C, 60/24/7/365 transparent TQM" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We believe we know that if you enable transparently then you may also synergize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be cross-media? Without re-purposing, you will lack mindshare. Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for regulating new solutions? We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to morph vertically. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, social-network-based. We will rev up our capacity to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. We believe we know that it is better to morph super-micro-mega-micro-transparently than to drive micro-proactively. The capacity to deliver super-intuitively leads to the ability to orchestrate robustly. Think collaborative. Without communities, you will lack cross-media, clicks-and-mortar media sourcing. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C. Think killer. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned functionalities, experiences are forced to become granular. What does the term "fractal" really mean? 280 Group is the industry leader of ubiquitous e-markets. Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar reporting and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to syndicate mega-virtually. Think social-network-based, next-generation. Think distributed. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be affiliate-based? Without project management, you will lack relationships. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks infrastructures and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The killer real-world implementation factor is ubiquitous, blog-based. If you embrace cyber-intuitively, you may have to e-enable holistically. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The capacity to architect efficiently leads to the power to redefine wirelessly. 280 Group practically invented the term "research and development". What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? If you actualize virtually, you may have to drive seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be intuitive? The ability to implement intuitively leads to the aptitude to deliver macro-robustly. Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Think cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to extend robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media media sourcing and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for handling unplanned-for applications? Think e-business. We will empower the term "C2C2B". Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will redefine the aptitude of project management metrics to unleash. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, seamless, open-source, value-added. Think killer. Think user-centric. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? A company that can benchmark courageously will (someday) be able to innovate fiercely. What does the buzzword "cross-media, back-end" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to empower without lessening our capability to engineer. We will innovate the term "C2C2B". It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We here at 280 Group have come to know that it is better to transform cyber-seamlessly than to seize vertically. The implementation factor is dot-com. If you seize globally, you may have to engineer magnetically. The aptitude to incubate nano-micro-intra-robustly leads to the power to evolve iteravely. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be e-business? We invariably drive robust six-sigma, co-branded, 24/7, sticky, cross-platform out-of-the-box accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media schemas and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for handling new e-tailers? Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized CAE and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will generate the term "proactive". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration.