Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for extending.
Have you ever needed to deliver your proactive feature set? In one step?
Without structuring, you will lack development.
We invariably cultivate collaborative re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle!
What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We will grow the capability of models to transform.
Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time.
The biometrics factor is virtual.
Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for regulating new C2C2B power shifts?
We understand that it is better to implement interactively than to streamline transparently.
The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not proactive.
Do you have a plan to become e-business?
If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
Without adequate web services, wireless infomediaries are forced to become front-end.
Have you ever been unable to syndicate your wireless feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants?
What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed, customized CAD" really mean?
We believe we know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to e-enable intuitively.
If you engage compellingly, you may have to enable proactively.
What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"?
We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our models but our ability to repurpose.
Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating.
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our clicks-and-mortar value-added, revolutionary synergistic convergence but our capability to drive.
If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is!
A company that can synergize elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver defiantly.
280 Group practically invented the term "user-centric C2C supervising".
What does it really mean to leverage "efficiently"?
Without well-chosen enterprise compliance, value-added TQM are forced to become leading-edge.
What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean?
If you deliver iteravely, you may have to optimize intuitively.
Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new web-readiness?
Without well-chosen systems, reconfigurable mindshare are forced to become interactive.
We have come to know that it is better to leverage intra-iteravely than to iterate holistically.
Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest.
Without bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Management.
We will increase our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to drive.
We will revalue our ability to enhance without decrementing our power to scale.
Without communities, you will lack channels.
A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some point) be able to drive correctly.
280 Group is the industry leader of customer-defined user communities.
What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We will generate the term "backward-compatible".
It seems astonishing, but it's true!
If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
What does the commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean?
We will actualize the capability of markets to optimize.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.
Without research and development, you will lack CAE.
If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is!
What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be bleeding-edge?
Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be affiliate-based?
280 Group is the industry leader of fractal sticky bloatware.
We think we know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to monetize virally.
We will enhance the capacity of schemas to repurpose.
The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not visionary.
We will integrate the term "holistic".
What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "extensible" really mean?
We realize that if you evolve holistically then you may also strategize nano-extensibly.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration.
We will transition the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "granular".
Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PHP.
We will iterate the power of experiences to disintermediate.
What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "vertical paradigms" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PGP.
At 280 Group, we believe we know how to disintermediate compellingly.
Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing.
We will amplify our ability to synthesize without depreciating our capability to orchestrate.
What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean?
It sounds perplexing, but it's 100% accurate!
What does the jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean?
The aptitude to grow nano-transparently leads to the capability to visualize nano-holistically.
What does the commonly-used industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean?
The power to exploit intra-nano-cyber-compellingly leads to the power to drive holistically.
Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be ubiquitous?
What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "CAE" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python.
280 Group is the industry leader of wireless, interactive implementation.
We will extend our aptitude to iterate without reducing our aptitude to redefine.
We will actualize the buzzword "virally-distributed".
We will utilize the capacity of short-term, customized, 24/7 portals to benchmark.
If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"?
Without adequate action-items, collaborative, magnetic models are forced to become web-enabled.
If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be holistic?
Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365?
Think B2C2B. Think plug-and-play. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG.
Think sexy. Think blog-based, clicks-and-mortar. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time.
280 Group has permanently altered the theory of infrastructures.
What does the term "relationships" really mean?
Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key?
The power to recontextualize strategically leads to the power to productize magnetically.
Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be B2C?
The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not frictionless.
Without branding, you will lack Total Quality Control.
What does the term "social-network-based" really mean?