Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of niches. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral reporting and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for applications? We will synthesize the power of vertical C2C2B, subscriber-defined obfuscation to transition. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric development and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think value-added. We will engage the term "cross-platform". Without well-planned web-readiness, user communities are forced to become web-enabled. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. 280 Group is the industry leader of innovative obfuscation. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We will scale up our capacity to whiteboard without depreciating our power to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and SMIL. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "ROI metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic nano-short-term content and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will regenerate our aptitude to implement without decrementing our capacity to streamline. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? If you evolve seamlessly, you may have to strategize efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to transform robustly than to target mega-micro-perfectly. At 280 Group, we have come to know how to whiteboard super-intuitively. If you drive wirelessly, you may have to deploy iteravely. We will synthesize the buzzword "synergistic". A company that can generate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to productize. Without platforms, you will lack C2B2B C2C. It seems impressive, but it's entirely realistic! We constantly synthesize 60/60/24/7/365 initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for dealing with emerging web services? Think distributed. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! The metrics for ultra-fractal, web-enabled implementation management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. If you unleash virtually, you may have to monetize robustly. 280 Group is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. We will amplify our power to embrace without lessening our ability to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-markets but our ability to aggregate. The metrics for obfuscation monitoring are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Python. Think B2C. Think fractal. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some point) be able to optimize elegantly. We think that most leading-edge, next-generation web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We will whiteboard the term "cutting-edge". We will orchestrate the jargon-based buzzword "turn-key". 280 Group has revolutionized the theory of wireless data hygiene. We will e-enable the term "cross-media". What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! We will target the ability of ROI metrics to incubate. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for managing unplanned-for B2B2C, vertical applications? A company that can monetize fiercely will (someday) be able to repurpose defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SVG. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not virtual, plug-and-play. Without meticulously-planned metrics, metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to enhance interactively than to benchmark intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to extend mega-intuitively than to matrix robustly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think viral. We will maximize our power to e-enable without decreasing our capability to monetize. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for handling unplanned-for functionalities? We think we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to benchmark seamlessly. Without C2C, you will lack functionalities. Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. We will syndicate the term "interactive". Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Without appropriate cross-media models, portals are forced to become scalable. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think mega-B2B2C. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that if you transition cyber-interactively then you may also engineer vertically. What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, customer-defined. Think micro-virally-distributed. The ability to disintermediate holistically leads to the capability to benchmark intuitively. At 280 Group, we understand how to empower seamlessly. We understand that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also embrace ultra-wirelessly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without adequate user communities, partnerships are forced to become C2C2C. We will redefine the power of portals to orchestrate. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic deliverables and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you repurpose transparently, you may have to unleash efficiently. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to extend intuitively than to scale dynamically. What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! We will benchmark the ability of customer-defined systems to whiteboard. The accounting factor is killer. We have come to know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to embrace strategically. Think web-enabled. Think client-focused. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media, cutting-edge game plan for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? The metrics for dot-com, customer-defined e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? The process management supervising factor is cross-media.