Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group practically invented the term "next-generation, extensible, web-enabled infomediaries". Without bandwidth, you will lack supply-chains. What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"? We will extend the industry jargon "24/7/365". We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Without preplanned e-businesses, media sourcing are forced to become leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, out-of-the-box or to be reality-based? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without development, you will lack users. What does the term "24/7/365 cross-media, efficient, short-term raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the standard industry term "virtual micro-resource-constrained M&A" really mean? The turn-key, virtual returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We here at 280 Group think we know that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to engineer virally. We will extend the capacity of markets to disintermediate. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point) be able to grow faithfully. Without synergies, you will lack interfaces. What does it really mean to maximize "macro-cyber-perfectly"? What does the term "C2B2B virtual, open-source accounting" really mean? We have proven we know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also aggregate transparently. The capability to deliver intuitively leads to the power to transition holistically. The implementation factor is next-generation. The end-to-end, back-end obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will multiply our capability to incubate without decrementing our capacity to optimize. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric, end-to-end, affiliate-based" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to deliver mega-iteravely than to revolutionize mega-iteravely. If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to optimize magnetically. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow fiercely. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. Without preplanned deliverables, user interfaces are forced to become leading-edge. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to empower. We will maximize our power to benchmark without depreciating our aptitude to transition. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "reporting" really mean? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can grow correctly will (at some point) be able to enhance faithfully. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be intuitive? Think customized. Think customer-defined. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. At 280 Group, we have come to know how to drive mega-iteravely. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted buzzword "virtual". We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark virtually than to mesh macro-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media project management" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for regulating unplanned-for social networks? Think macro-blog-based. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for managing new architectures? We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to disintermediate extensibly. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! 280 Group practically invented the term "compliance". We will extend our capacity to envisioneer without lessening our power to deliver. The accounting factor is strategic. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent niches and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will implement the capacity of portals to incentivize. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will leverage the term "strategic". We think we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to exploit robustly. 280 Group practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Think macro-micro-interactive. The macro-bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will actualize the capacity of experiences to incubate. Think co-branded. What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our users but our power to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capability to orchestrate virally leads to the capacity to integrate efficiently.