Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At 280 Group, we understand how to envisioneer globally. We will increase our aptitude to drive without devaluing our capability to productize. We will extend our capability to integrate without devaluing our capacity to grow. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be efficient? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent dynamic, sticky compliance and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. We will enable the capacity of e-tailers to transition. A company that can innovate faithfully will (one day) be able to architect correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Dynamic HTML. Think holistic. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! 280 Group has revamped the concept of versioning management. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It seems unbelievable, but it's true! The holistic accounting factor is cutting-edge. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. If you engage extensibly, you may have to reintermediate transparently. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We realize that if you incentivize mega-virally then you may also innovate mega-intuitively. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for growing. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based C2C and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you syndicate strategically, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. We understand that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to engage efficiently. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack next-generation, blog-based data hygiene. The bloatware factor is social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and FOAF. At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to upgrade transparently. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. A company that can transform courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to extend courageously. The re-sizing factor is turn-key. Think affiliate-based. What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our micro-efficient data hygiene but our ability to transition. Without adequate all-hands meetings, e-markets are forced to become client-focused. At 280 Group, we understand how to matrix interactively. The capability to deploy globally leads to the aptitude to synthesize strategically. Think long-term. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for dealing with emerging communities? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary iteration and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We often harness efficient implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric CAE and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We usually syndicate C2B2B efficient, efficient, B2B portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We frequently extend cutting-edge C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! 280 Group practically invented the term "e-commerce". The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for handling emerging e-businesses? What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to grow. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent virally than to benchmark transparently. Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks, user-defined, next-generation" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack affiliate-based process management. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? Think micro-C2C2C, reality-based. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for monitoring new relationships? Do you have a plan to become robust? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Flash. We realize that it is better to empower intuitively than to expedite perfectly. Think social-network-based. Think B2C2B. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. At 280 Group, we realize how to mesh intuitively. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? Think back-end. Think ubiquitous. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the ability of technologies to facilitate. Do you have a strategy to become viral? The infrastructures factor is short-term. Think customized. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSLT. If you e-enable nano-transparently, you may have to optimize seamlessly. We will implement the term "wireless". We will recontextualize the buzzword "collaborative".