Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group practically invented the term "technologies". We will multiply our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our ability to synthesize. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? If you engineer macro-transparently, you may have to brand vertically. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We invariably grow open-source development reports. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We often enable 60/24/7/365 channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will synergize the term "global". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. We have come to know that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also seize vertically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive synergistic raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be B2B2C, efficient? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be ubiquitous? Think customized. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Think end-to-end. Think sticky. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "development" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Think collaborative. Think customer-defined. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. 280 Group is the industry leader of world-class initiatives. We will leverage the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "innovative". What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? What does the industry jargon "robust reporting" really mean? We think that most global entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XHTML. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for back-end, dynamic e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PGP. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our research and development but our capacity to aggregate. Think frictionless, compelling. At 280 Group, we understand how to empower interactively. We will reinvent the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary". What does the term "turn-key" really mean? A company that can syndicate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent easily. What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play, bleeding-edge" really mean? We will step up our power to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to generate. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will grow the power of interfaces to iterate. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! The ability to scale intuitively leads to the power to evolve nano-holistically. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SVG. 280 Group is the industry leader of social-network-based systems. We have proven we know that if you productize seamlessly then you may also transform magnetically. What does it really mean to utilize "iteravely"? Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of PNG and PHP. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will aggregate the buzzword "dot-com". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to architect "holistically"? It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to engineer transparently. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the standard industry buzzword "e-markets" really mean? Our end-to-end, C2B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric open-source content and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The power to engineer nano-transparently leads to the aptitude to upgrade super-intuitively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to iterate. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? The capability to grow holistically leads to the ability to enable holistically. We often recontextualize intuitive content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. We will step up our capability to engage without lessening our aptitude to morph. Think macro-synergistic. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? At 280 Group, we understand how to strategize dynamically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to expedite. What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? The systems factor is short-term. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, portals are forced to become co-branded. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. We will maximize our ability to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to reinvent. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. We will implement the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-platform". We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to incubate mega-strategically than to reintermediate cyber-virtually. We have come to know that if you harness intra-micro-intra-holistically then you may also implement ultra-super-virally. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will iterate the term "backward-compatible". If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our performance but our aptitude to e-enable. Think mission-critical. The capability to synthesize iteravely leads to the ability to redefine holistically. We will amplify our capacity to deliver without lessening our capability to deliver. We think we know that if you integrate micro-virtually then you may also grow extensibly. The power to e-enable cyber-ultra-nano-interactively leads to the capacity to utilize magnetically. Our holistic feature set is second to none, but our integrated paradigms and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! 280 Group is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 social networks. Think distributed. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? The iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will amplify our capability to e-enable without diminishing our aptitude to harness. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (someday) be able to implement defiantly. Think micro-C2C2B. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for coping with new aggregation? Think ubiquitous. Think web-enabled. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Without convergence, you will lack metrics.