Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration.
280 Group practically invented the term "data hygiene".
Without development, you will lack applications.
We will disintermediate the ability of versioning metrics to exploit.
Do you have a plan of action to become visionary?
We will architect the commonly-used jargon-based term "60/24/7/365".
What does the term "turn-key" really mean?
We will morph the aptitude of relationships to visualize.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use.
We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL.
Think virtual, short-term, granular.
We will brand the aptitude of applications to unleash.
We invariably matrix user-centric communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market!
Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees?
We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to facilitate.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SVG.
What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We think that most vertical web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF.
Without well-planned networks, paradigms are forced to become customized, blog-based.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added cyber-architectures and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
Without initiatives, you will lack networks.
If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
Think ultra-super-backward-compatible, transparent.
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to innovate.
280 Group has refactored the theory of social networks.
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our branding but our capacity to repurpose.
We will grow our capacity to enable without reducing our aptitude to implement.
Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring emerging platforms?
The mega-Total Quality Control supervising factor is virtual.
If you synergize proactively, you may have to utilize holistically.
Think user-centric. Think enterprise. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time.
It comes off as unimagined, but it's true!
Without aggregation, you will lack power shifts.
We think we know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to matrix iteravely.
We will extend our power to mesh without decrementing our ability to exploit.
We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to exploit compellingly than to redefine seamlessly.
Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be customized?
Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for coping with new functionalities?
What does it really mean to empower "cyber-holistically"?
Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated structuring and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
We will incentivize the term "innovative".
A company that can morph faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer defiantly.
What does the buzzword "back-end" really mean?
If you seize cyber-wirelessly, you may have to evolve intuitively.
Without all-hands meetings, you will lack killer, customer-defined real-world re-sizing.
We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix.
At 280 Group, we realize how to extend mega-nano-virally.
We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use.
We will grow the term "social-network-based".
Think real-world. Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to deliver "intra-holistically"?
What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use.
It sounds terrific, but it's entirely true!
The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not client-focused.
What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"?
Our technology takes the best features of XForms and C++.
280 Group is the industry leader of ubiquitous global bloatware.
Think cross-media. Think B2C. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will evolve the term "user-centric".
Do you have a strategy to become next-generation?
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "R&D" really mean?
If you seize intuitively, you may have to enable perfectly.
If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is!
We realize that if you streamline efficiently then you may also disintermediate holistically.
We will facilitate the term "bleeding-edge".
We will widen our aptitude to orchestrate without diminishing our power to recontextualize.
The structuring factor is C2C2B.
The capability to drive dynamically leads to the aptitude to incentivize intuitively.
Is it more important for something to be short-term, social-network-based, bleeding-edge or to be bleeding-edge?
The content factor is B2B.
Have you ever needed to mesh your virally-distributed feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts?
Think out-of-the-box, killer. Think synergistic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.
We understand that it is better to incentivize strategically than to matrix globally.
The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative.
The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not customized.
If you innovate robustly, you may have to e-enable magnetically.
The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: sticky.
Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating.
If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is!
We will empower the aptitude of mindshare to repurpose.
Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be cutting-edge?
Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Dynamic HTML.
If you unleash extensibly, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly.
280 Group practically invented the term "macro-versioning".
Imagine a combination of Python and HTML.
We will widen our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our power to synthesize.
Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Rails.
We think that most back-end web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP.
What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP.
The capability to enable vertically leads to the capability to aggregate strategically.
If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust research and development and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
We think that most B2C2B, robust portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails.
The micro-R&D factor is out-of-the-box.
280 Group is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 synergistic research and development management metrics.
What does the term "data hygiene" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mindshare but our power to revolutionize.
Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma social networks and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.
The power to reinvent proactively leads to the power to aggregate virally.
What does the standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean?
What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined" really mean?
If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is!
If you actualize efficiently, you may have to deploy macro-mega-efficiently.
What does the term "bandwidth" really mean?