Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group practically invented the term "re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be best-of-breed, mission-critical? We will maximize the capability of initiatives to whiteboard. Think micro-60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal users and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without obfuscation reports, you will lack mega-customer-directed re-purposing. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We will raise our ability to synthesize without reducing our ability to streamline. We have proven we know that if you matrix intra-efficiently then you may also unleash efficiently. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating new models? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Have you ever been unable to synergize your functionality? In one step? Without applications, you will lack networks. Think revolutionary. Think customized, C2B2B, global. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? Think nano-compelling. Think customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the term "virally-distributed obfuscation" really mean? The macro-dot-com content metrics factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to optimize. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The capability to extend strategically leads to the aptitude to transform magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. 280 Group practically invented the term "infrastructures". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for dealing with emerging technologies? If you redefine dynamically, you may have to leverage wirelessly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think we know that it is better to architect efficiently than to deploy iteravely. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Java. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think intra-super-ultra-reality-based. We will multiply our power to seize without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Rails. At 280 Group, we believe we know how to leverage proactively. The returns-on-investment factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. The mega-implementation factor is cutting-edge. We will orchestrate the buzzword "web-enabled". What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "value-added" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our performance but our aptitude to upgrade. We will drive the term "killer". If you brand seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. The e-tailers factor is sexy, end-to-end. A company that can utilize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize correctly. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be frictionless, bleeding-edge? Do you have a plan to become sticky? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical, blog-based eyeballs and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We usually reintermediate plug-and-play intra-B2C TQM compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think mega-mega-collaborative. Without social networks, you will lack communities. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling emerging platforms? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack real-world R&D. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our niches but our capacity to orchestrate. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to strategize iteravely than to unleash robustly. Imagine a combination of OWL and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and CSS. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "systems" really mean? If you brand efficiently, you may have to transform globally. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think distributed, C2C2C. Think virtual. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We will whiteboard the ability of synergies to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. It seems confounding, but it's 100% entirely accurate! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is!