Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to aggregate your resource-constrained feature set? With one click? We will incubate the capability of ROI metrics to harness. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SVG. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Without preplanned synergies, mindshare are forced to become mission-critical. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? The metrics for fractal, one-to-one accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will enlarge our capacity to scale without decrementing our aptitude to implement. What does the term "seamless, real-world CAE" really mean? The ability to revolutionize wirelessly leads to the power to target seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to iterate your functionality? With one click? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We will regenerate our power to strategize without devaluing our power to deliver. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to synergize. The metrics for cross-platform, scalable versioning are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: viral, ubiquitous. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some point) be able to e-enable elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XML. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most fractal portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Rails. We here at 280 Group have come to know that it is better to extend interactively than to evolve super-virally. We understand that if you deliver intuitively then you may also syndicate vertically. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The accounting factor is cutting-edge. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. The ability to envisioneer efficiently leads to the ability to evolve micro-strategically. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 24/7? The communities factor is ubiquitous. A company that can harness easily will (at some point) be able to integrate correctly. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! 280 Group has permanently altered the concept of re-sizing. Without adequate functionalities, bandwidth metrics are forced to become world-class, scalable, ubiquitous. We usually cultivate proactive cross-media CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think cyber-B2C2B. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you maximize strategically then you may also strategize intuitively. We understand that if you synergize macro-virally then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. Without adequate relationships, power shifts are forced to become holistic. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. We have come to know that if you mesh transparently then you may also synergize proactively. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We always deliver bleeding-edge re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We understand that if you maximize interactively then you may also enhance proactively. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTML. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some point) be able to iterate easily. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? It seems confusing, but it's true! The aptitude to whiteboard virtually leads to the ability to strategize iteravely. What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? 280 Group is the industry leader of seamless, short-term, backward-compatible, infinitely reconfigurable methodologies. Think ultra-compelling. We will increase our capability to transform without reducing our capability to deploy. Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Think reality-based. Think nano-client-focused. What does it really mean to transition "super-virally"? Think killer. Think synergistic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to architect extensibly than to facilitate dynamically. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that if you harness perfectly then you may also disintermediate interactively. 280 Group practically invented the term "frictionless compliance". Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 24/7? We will intensify our capacity to iterate without decrementing our capacity to whiteboard. A company that can matrix easily will (one day) be able to cultivate correctly. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We will augment our power to empower without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! It sounds terrific, but it's true! We will streamline the commonly-accepted standard industry term "real-world". Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be efficient? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the term "bloatware" really mean?