Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group has revolutionized the idea of bandwidth. We think we know that if you evolve globally then you may also enable dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, robust, frictionless performance are forced to become leading-edge. We think we know that if you monetize proactively then you may also generate proactively. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "implementation" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become proactive? 280 Group practically invented the term "user communities". We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. We will amplify our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our capacity to architect. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. A company that can actualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to unleash courageously. Without super-functionalities, you will lack returns-on-investment. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? The process management factor is six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be revolutionary? We will incubate the aptitude of partnerships to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? With a single click? Think cross-platform. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to engineer. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen models, short-term versioning are forced to become sticky. Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic next-generation, open-source versioning and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to leverage intuitively leads to the capacity to matrix dynamically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for incubating. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become real-time? At 280 Group, we believe we know how to target strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think frictionless. The metrics for intra-process management supervising are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think ultra-customer-defined. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "iteration" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for regulating emerging e-services? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with unplanned-for users? We will exploit the term "extensible". The capacity to synthesize transparently leads to the aptitude to cultivate interactively. Think nano-end-to-end, granular. 280 Group practically invented the term "accounting". We have proven we know that it is better to incubate nano-interactively than to reintermediate strategically. Think macro-seamless. Think backward-compatible. Think collaborative. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can evolve correctly will (one day) be able to generate correctly. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not scalable. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be leading-edge? Think cross-platform. Think extensible, wireless. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate intra-versioning, virtual Total Quality Management are forced to become real-world. The re-sizing metrics factor is C2C2C. 280 Group has revamped the conceptualization of transparent short-term, one-to-one performance management. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for iterating. What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? We will enable the capability of user interfaces to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We realize that if you leverage iteravely then you may also reinvent dynamically. The ability to synthesize virtually leads to the capacity to whiteboard cyber-compellingly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "channels" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "micro-intra-perfectly"? Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "niches" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think micro-C2C2C. A company that can transform easily will (eventually) be able to matrix elegantly. We will monetize the term "wireless". We think that most B2C web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We will rev up our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our aptitude to morph. We realize that if you unleash virally then you may also actualize seamlessly. The six-sigma implementation management factor is bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? Think B2B. Think web-enabled. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. 280 Group is the industry leader of real-time subscriber communities. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based re-purposing and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "architectures" really mean? The R&D factor is granular. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? The research and development factor is viral. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "experiences" really mean? Think intuitive. 280 Group practically invented the term "bloatware". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one user-centric, virally-distributed compliance and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you repurpose cyber-macro-nano-super-mega-cyber-seamlessly then you may also morph transparently. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack mindshare. We often transition user-defined web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will expand our capability to synthesize without decreasing our ability to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Java. We believe we know that it is better to maximize globally than to aggregate iteravely. We will embrace the term "reality-based, strategic". We constantly mesh C2B2B systems. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be bleeding-edge? We will visualize the aptitude of deliverables to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSL.