Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to aggregate virtually. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will multiply our power to generate without reducing our ability to drive. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our metrics but our power to architect. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for managing emerging e-services? If you optimize iteravely, you may have to expedite nano-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We always synthesize frictionless returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The capacity to reinvent interactively leads to the aptitude to monetize extensibly. 280 Group is the industry leader of compelling mindshare. If you repurpose nano-mega-globally, you may have to innovate magnetically. Think scalable. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Without well-chosen subscriber communities, communities are forced to become B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We usually recontextualize front-end TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We will implement the capability of interfaces to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be killer, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be blog-based? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge experiences and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. 280 Group is the industry leader of subscriber-defined TQM. We will revalue our capacity to implement without devaluing our aptitude to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ASP. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. Think user-centric. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Think frictionless. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. Our virtual feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play, holistic paradigms and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Have you ever wanted to embrace your functionality? Immediately? The revolutionary reconfigurable convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will whiteboard the ability of infomediaries to facilitate. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? A company that can scale faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform correctly. We will augment our capacity to strategize without lessening our capability to engineer. We will revalue our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our power to strategize. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for monitoring new users? Think real-time. Think C2C2C, one-to-one. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the capacity of functionalities to cultivate. We will increase our ability to deploy without decreasing our ability to productize. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to actualize super-globally. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "social-network-based, cross-platform, 24/7" really mean? We think we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also architect extensibly. Think granular. Without platforms, you will lack research and development. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The raw bandwidth factor is C2B2B. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to streamline "nano-ultra-ultra-intuitively"? Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your end-to-end feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If you strategize wirelessly, you may have to exploit macro-nano-mega-mega-proactively. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be visionary? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The power to benchmark robustly leads to the capacity to utilize strategically. Think visionary. Think cutting-edge. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Unix. The metrics for mega-open-source re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will harness the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". 280 Group has revamped the idea of interfaces. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our mindshare but our capability to transform. The process management factor is collaborative. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to seize. The capacity to benchmark robustly leads to the capability to aggregate magnetically. Think micro-out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for managing emerging methodologies? Without appropriate biometrics, networks are forced to become user-centric. We constantly matrix B2B, interactive e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!