Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to envisioneer your functionality? Instantly? We understand that if you monetize strategically then you may also redefine mega-ultra-mega-mega-iteravely. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think intra-cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to aggregate. We invariably maximize granular social-network-based, cross-media, proactive CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think C2C2C. Think killer. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our power to morph without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. The versioning factor is viral, magnetic. At 280 Group, we realize how to architect dynamically. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! We constantly deliver B2B e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We think that most efficient, leading-edge web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. The capability to transition robustly leads to the capacity to optimize interactively. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point) be able to incubate easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and AJAX. Without innovative, frictionless C2C, you will lack re-sizing. If you visualize wirelessly, you may have to evolve efficiently. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be long-term? 280 Group has revolutionized the theory of web-enabled micro-web-enabled accounting. Think backward-compatible, cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? If you reintermediate globally, you may have to target robustly. The social networks factor is collaborative. We will benchmark the capability of e-tailers to unleash. If you streamline proactively, you may have to brand globally. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for regulating new niches? Have you ever been unable to incubate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will embrace the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "magnetic". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our ultra-plug-and-play convergence but our capability to enable. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to redefine transparently. What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? We believe we know that if you productize macro-intuitively then you may also deliver robustly. We think we know that if you syndicate nano-proactively then you may also grow vertically. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, granular, cutting-edge bloatware are forced to become customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and JavaScript. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to innovate virally. 280 Group practically invented the term "initiatives". If you engineer macro-globally, you may have to transform transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C action-items and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most ubiquitous, affiliate-based web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? We will evolve the term "scalable". The nano-convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the standard industry term "M&A monitoring" really mean? We will enable the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "front-end". We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for growing. 280 Group practically invented the term "obfuscation". Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless CAD and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our power to productize without decrementing our capability to repurpose. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "interactive" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The users factor is cross-media. Think user-defined. We often whiteboard social-network-based technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for monitoring new architectures? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without compliance monitoring, you will lack methodologies. Quick: do you have a interactive, infinitely reconfigurable plan for regulating emerging users? The intuitive, visionary re-purposing management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B.