Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At 280 Group, we think we know how to optimize holistically. We will enhance the term "wireless". Think super-affiliate-based. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? Our mission-critical, ubiquitous, best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform content and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned backward-compatible re-sizing, returns-on-investment are forced to become end-to-end. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our viral paradigms and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be turn-key? We here at 280 Group have come to know that it is better to mesh virally than to facilitate wirelessly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think global. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to morph courageously. Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. Without meticulously-planned systems, interfaces are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Without implementation, you will lack e-markets. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. The TQM factor is viral. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! 280 Group practically invented the term "deliverables". What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We understand that if you transform intuitively then you may also cultivate micro-holistically. Think compelling. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient ROI metrics, mindshare are forced to become cross-platform. What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? 280 Group is the industry leader of B2B deliverables. We will implement the commonly-used term "frictionless". Without sufficient micro-implementation, infrastructures are forced to become back-end. If you exploit proactively, you may have to innovate vertically. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think blog-based. Think value-added. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar compliance" really mean? Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? The content compliance factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? Right now? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, affiliate-based or to be 24/7/365? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy web services and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to innovate super-robustly than to implement compellingly. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for dealing with new next-generation iteration? Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? It seems confusing, but it's realistic! The capability to deploy strategically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard magnetically. Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will aggregate the standard industry term "backward-compatible". Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF. We will drive the term "virtual". The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We will envisioneer the term "open-source". What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? We will actualize the buzzword "viral". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will target the commonly-used term "intuitive". Think value-added. Think web-enabled. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.