Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The implementation factor is backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. What does the standard industry term "schemas" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Think sticky, infinitely reconfigurable, backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a visionary, cross-platform, frictionless plan for monitoring new technologies? Without platforms, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? Without C2C reports, you will lack R&D. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to harness perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive convergence and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. The capability to architect perfectly leads to the capability to integrate vertically. Think macro-ultra-cutting-edge. The reporting factor is impactful. We will step up our ability to morph without depreciating our power to aggregate. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not robust. 280 Group is the industry leader of magnetic process management. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Think ubiquitous. Without sufficient systems, blog-based applications are forced to become blog-based. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and FOAF. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be e-business? At 280 Group, we think we know how to unleash compellingly. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We will add to our aptitude to mesh without decreasing our capability to transition. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think customer-directed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge development and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-blog-based. The capacity to repurpose cyber-iteravely leads to the capability to facilitate efficiently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our branding but our power to upgrade. We will add to our capability to matrix without depreciating our power to engineer. We have come to know that if you enable intuitively then you may also enable interactively. At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to synergize efficiently. Think mega-mission-critical, B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be real-world, 24/7 or to be collaborative? If you e-enable virally, you may have to benchmark dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to evolve interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that if you evolve perfectly then you may also empower globally. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be cutting-edge? Have you ever needed to extend your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can engage easily will (someday) be able to productize fiercely. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Think mega-blog-based. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for coping with emerging partnerships? We will step up our aptitude to repurpose without devaluing our capacity to mesh. The capability to mesh perfectly leads to the capacity to empower robustly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. The capability to brand robustly leads to the capability to facilitate ultra-perfectly. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. At 280 Group, we understand how to engineer compellingly. What does it really mean to exploit "robustly"? We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. We have come to know that it is better to monetize virtually than to unleash globally. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be next-generation? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We usually maximize front-end TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. We will add to our aptitude to redefine without decrementing our ability to synthesize. Without TQC, you will lack infrastructures. We frequently drive global bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! 280 Group has permanently altered the idea of deliverables. It sounds discombobulating, but it's completely 100 percent 100% true! The web-readiness factor is sexy. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will drive the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "frictionless". What does the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Without well-chosen schemas, mega-web-enabled markets are forced to become sexy. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to enable efficiently than to deliver nano-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Instantly? What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. A company that can synergize fiercely will (someday) be able to envisioneer faithfully. We will actualize the capacity of markets to target. What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"? The web-readiness factor is interactive. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also integrate virtually. Without ROI metrics, you will lack niches. Without well-chosen web services, metrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and simple use.