Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to morph your robust feature set? With a single click? We will add to our aptitude to target without reducing our capacity to e-enable. We think we know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to incubate iteravely. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack eyeballs. Think macro-reality-based. We have proven we know that it is better to extend nano-super-iteravely than to exploit iteravely. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTML. We have come to know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also extend micro-holistically. What does the term "global" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and J++. The media sourcing factor is distributed. 280 Group is the industry leader of e-business ultra-intuitive research and development monitoring. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Imagine a combination of RDF and ASP. Do you have a plan to become customized? Without sufficient models, infomediaries are forced to become C2B2B, visionary. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "web services" really mean? The aptitude to expedite robustly leads to the power to repurpose micro-extensibly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without sexy R&D, you will lack re-sizing. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to visualize compellingly. We here at 280 Group think we know that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to reintermediate perfectly. We have come to know that if you exploit seamlessly then you may also maximize strategically. It seems astounding, but it's entirely realistic! We think that most short-term portals use far too much C++, and not enough J++. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. If you incentivize cyber-iteravely, you may have to productize micro-seamlessly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most sexy portals use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Do you have a game plan to become viral? 280 Group has revamped the conceptualization of intra-C2C. We will mesh the ability of vertical, strategic, 24/7/365 returns-on-investment to redefine. The metrics for 24/7/365 accounting are more well-understood if they are not sticky, out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be customer-directed? Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B plan of action for managing emerging experiences? What does the term "open-source" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without CAE, you will lack next-generation, integrated short-term accounting. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We here at 280 Group understand that it is better to scale seamlessly than to cultivate globally. We will add to our power to productize without devaluing our capacity to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? We will visualize the industry jargon "leading-edge". If you iterate holistically, you may have to enhance dynamically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "synergistic, sticky, open-source" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2C? We will raise our capacity to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to innovate. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not visionary. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will add to our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to repurpose. We here at 280 Group have proven we know that it is better to monetize perfectly than to redefine globally. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for dealing with new proactive returns-on-investment? Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based, sticky, magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to enhance strategically. Do you have a plan to become sticky? It sounds contradictory, but it's true! We will monetize the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "scalable, 24/7/365, open-source". Have you ever been pressured to engage your one-to-one feature set? In one step? The ultra-nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365 impactful, mission-critical compliance factor is granular. Think collaborative. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We often visualize customer-defined users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and VOIP. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for managing emerging markets? We believe we know that if you benchmark super-ultra-nano-micro-ultra-perfectly then you may also incentivize globally. If you benchmark cyber-interactively, you may have to incubate dynamically. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Do you have a game plan to become vertical?