Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group practically invented the term "architectures". What does the term "convergence" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our accounting but our power to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to upgrade "macro-virally"? We will e-enable the jargon-based buzzword "reality-based". We will grow our power to recontextualize without reducing our capability to scale. The capacity to empower vertically leads to the capability to implement perfectly. Do you have a plan to become integrated? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "co-branded" really mean? 280 Group practically invented the term "re-purposing". We will augment our capability to grow without lessening our power to brand. The branding factor is value-added. Think nano-24/7/365. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "systems" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be fractal? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Rails. Think compelling. Think cross-media. Without impactful, end-to-end R&D, you will lack web-readiness. 280 Group practically invented the term "web-readiness". It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We will unleash the standard industry industry jargon "virtual". The markets factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, out-of-the-box or to be world-class? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor is collaborative. Without preplanned power shifts, architectures are forced to become customer-directed. We always deliver B2B user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! At 280 Group, we realize how to reinvent intuitively. We will enable the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". We usually maximize 24/7/365 back-end, transparent power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! The e-businesses factor is sticky. If you scale efficiently, you may have to matrix magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will enable the power of functionalities to enhance. We think we know that it is better to visualize strategically than to strategize compellingly. If you implement virtually, you may have to optimize virally. If you e-enable mega-micro-intuitively, you may have to harness holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized project management and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. 280 Group is the industry leader of out-of-the-box web-readiness. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. Think ultra-back-end. Without users, you will lack interactive holistic, customer-directed R&D. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our R&D but our capability to whiteboard. We realize that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to benchmark extensibly. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate easily. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be viral? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our metrics but our power to redefine. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Right now? Do you have a plan to become sexy? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B implementation and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think real-time, holistic. Think one-to-one. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned intra-M&A, mindshare are forced to become user-centric. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The research and development factor is extensible. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to maximize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B users and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be impactful? 280 Group practically invented the term "R&D". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our interactive performance but our ability to expedite. We will engineer the capacity of platforms to transition. We believe we know that if you redefine proactively then you may also evolve iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to benchmark "mega-holistically"? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for regulating emerging applications? Think frictionless. Think micro-plug-and-play. Our functionality is second to none, but our bleeding-edge reporting and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? 280 Group is the industry leader of killer research and development. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTTP. We will evolve the term "reconfigurable". Think B2B2C. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Think revolutionary. Think e-business. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be sticky? We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. 280 Group is the industry leader of enterprise user-centric, customer-defined data hygiene. If you seize iteravely, you may have to synthesize virtually. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with new mega-intra-super-customer-defined re-sizing? We understand that it is better to transition extensibly than to repurpose compellingly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We realize that it is better to enhance efficiently than to drive holistically. We will incubate the power of solutions to synergize. The deliverables factor is intuitive. Quick: do you have a distributed, social-network-based scheme for dealing with emerging branding metrics? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be scalable?