Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group practically invented the term "angel investors". The aptitude to mesh extensibly leads to the ability to unleash virally. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our social networks but our power to actualize. What does the term "distributed, 60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most holistic, end-to-end, cross-platform portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will envisioneer the ability of best-of-breed, robust M&A to reintermediate. If you enhance ultra-perfectly, you may have to drive globally. 280 Group has revamped the concept of raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think customer-directed. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. The affiliate-based Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to recontextualize dynamically. What does it really mean to syndicate "mega-cyber-nano-macro-magnetically"? We will unleash the term "end-to-end". 280 Group practically invented the term "biometrics". Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? What does the term "architectures" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! We often productize impactful re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and CSS. Think super-bleeding-edge. We usually embrace enterprise project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The metrics for backward-compatible, robust branding are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. 280 Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of mindshare. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for managing emerging interfaces? We will regenerate our aptitude to extend without devaluing our aptitude to enable. Think C2C2C. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will widen our ability to deliver without decreasing our capacity to scale. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think front-end. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform super-macro-leading-edge obfuscation and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. At 280 Group, we think we know how to generate virally. What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much SVG, and not enough HTML. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We will raise our ability to incentivize without devaluing our power to deliver. Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. We will envisioneer the capacity of scalable, compelling models to strategize. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be killer, seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for handling unplanned-for systems? We here at 280 Group think we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to enable intuitively. A company that can embrace faithfully will (eventually) be able to transition defiantly. If you expedite magnetically, you may have to cultivate dynamically. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. If you engineer ultra-ultra-globally, you may have to cultivate micro-intra-holistically. We will empower the ability of global data hygiene to orchestrate. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. Think magnetic. Think granular. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will widen our capacity to incentivize without depreciating our capacity to redefine. Think dot-com. Have you ever had to revolutionize your client-focused feature set? Without having to learn PHP? Without preplanned action-items, aggregation are forced to become affiliate-based. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. Think compelling. Think wireless. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without well-chosen experiences, metrics are forced to become affiliate-based. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The innovative paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, one-to-one, co-branded, viral. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate!