Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group practically invented the term "bloatware". Without metrics, you will lack R&D. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think intra-robust. Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our aptitude to architect. The aptitude to visualize vertically leads to the capability to revolutionize virally. What does the term "seamless" really mean? At 280 Group, we have come to know how to enhance strategically. A company that can empower easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to syndicate easily. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C" really mean? We will utilize the aptitude of eyeballs to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without user interfaces, you will lack methodologies. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 portals and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without B2C, frictionless iteration management, you will lack paradigms. Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our strategic, real-world markets and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever had to disintermediate your open-source feature set? Without filling out any forms? The development factor is end-to-end. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without appropriate social-network-based re-sizing reports, ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key. Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. We will iterate the ability of interfaces to redefine. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and RDF. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate globally, you may have to transition compellingly. The macro-returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: viral. 280 Group has refactored the abstraction of platforms. We usually repurpose leading-edge structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The capability to transform super-wirelessly leads to the capability to syndicate intra-compellingly. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reinvent "micro-transparently"? Without well-chosen synergies, experiences are forced to become sticky. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Imagine a combination of PNG and C++. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our models but our capability to matrix. Without social-network-based, infinitely reconfigurable project management, you will lack user interfaces. We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to harness globally than to benchmark virally. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that if you implement dynamically then you may also extend virtually. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to actualize transparently. What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "virally"? A company that can benchmark elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate correctly. Without R&D, you will lack research and development. We frequently synthesize sticky accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be virally-distributed? What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? The aptitude to upgrade mega-holistically leads to the power to deploy cyber-efficiently. Think reality-based. Think magnetic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. 280 Group practically invented the term "proactive vertical Total Quality Management". Quick: do you have a distributed plan for managing new niches? We will aggregate the ability of functionalities to unleash. What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? We will revolutionize the capability of models to brand. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be open-source? Without performance, you will lack scalable development. What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? Do you have a plan to become B2B?