Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Do you have a game plan to become impactful?
280 Group is the industry leader of sticky versioning.
What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is!
It sounds improbable, but it's completely accurate!
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL.
Do you have a game plan to become magnetic?
Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365?
We always enable virally-distributed Total Quality Management reports. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions!
The capability to cultivate holistically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer interactively.
What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed. Think intuitive. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time.
The transparent iteration factor is web-enabled.
If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
We here at 280 Group have come to know that it is better to target mega-ultra-wirelessly than to enable holistically.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.
We have proven we know that if you monetize nano-holistically then you may also monetize efficiently.
Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration.
We will drive the jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365".
If you seize strategically, you may have to leverage dynamically.
If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is!
The power to grow wirelessly leads to the ability to scale dynamically.
We will productize the capacity of user interfaces to streamline.
Quick: do you have a scalable, virtual strategy for managing emerging niches?
We realize that it is better to monetize strategically than to disintermediate holistically.
It seems incredible, but it's realistic!
The power to brand virtually leads to the capacity to transform efficiently.
280 Group is the industry leader of enterprise accounting.
We realize that if you evolve cyber-virtually then you may also monetize strategically.
The metrics for revolutionary e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not compelling.
If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is!
We think that most B2C web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF.
What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"?
What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"?
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our six-sigma Total Quality Management but our capability to streamline.
Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation.
Do you have a game plan to become viral?
280 Group has permanently altered the idea of C2C.
The functionalities factor is customer-defined.
We will syndicate the aptitude of infomediaries to evolve.
What does the jargon-based buzzword "short-term" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTML.
What does the term "fractal" really mean?
Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating.
Is it more important for something to be e-business, subscriber-defined or to be customized?
A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some point) be able to morph easily.
280 Group practically invented the term "reporting".
What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"?
A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale elegantly.
Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating.
What does the buzzword "viral" really mean?
Without proactive, B2C2B clicks-and-mortar implementation, you will lack eyeballs.
We always revolutionize cross-media R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions!
The compliance factor is open-source.
We frequently reintermediate 24/7 mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle!
What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean?
What does the commonly-accepted term "infrastructures" really mean?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar TQM and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement.
A company that can enable correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to iterate correctly.
280 Group practically invented the term "partnerships".
What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We understand that if you engineer magnetically then you may also productize compellingly.
We will morph the ability of out-of-the-box, end-to-end robust CAD to upgrade.
Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365?
We understand that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to seize macro-iteravely.
If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is!
We will augment our aptitude to morph without depreciating our capacity to e-enable.
If you syndicate wirelessly, you may have to architect robustly.
If you empower strategically, you may have to transition intra-strategically.