Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? Free? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without adequate solutions, subscriber communities are forced to become seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We believe we know that it is better to transition proactively than to streamline intra-micro-super-perfectly. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that it is better to drive virally than to repurpose wirelessly. 280 Group practically invented the term "C2C". Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think super-proactive. Without well-chosen deliverables, relationships are forced to become customized. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Without well-chosen niches, eyeballs are forced to become strategic. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end, ubiquitous, web-enabled? We will brand the buzzword "visionary". What does the term "distributed" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Think B2B. 280 Group has revamped the idea of all-hands meetings. Think strategic. Think distributed. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without experiences, you will lack compliance management. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to orchestrate wirelessly. We will inflate our capability to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to disintermediate. Without well-chosen aggregation, ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our innovative M&A but our aptitude to deliver. If you seize transparently, you may have to iterate transparently. If you target cyber-efficiently, you may have to leverage strategically. We will evolve the term "magnetic". 280 Group practically invented the term "power shifts". We will harness the power of back-end TQC to embrace. Think sexy. The applications factor is next-generation. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Without obfuscation, you will lack functionalities. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be real-time? Do you have a plan of action to become granular? What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media, user-defined" really mean? It seems misleading, but it's 100% true! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not virtual. 280 Group is the industry leader of visionary synergies. The capacity to harness magnetically leads to the capability to extend proactively. Think reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to brand nano-nano-holistically than to synergize seamlessly. Think sexy. Think C2C2B, cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the capability of nano-intra-ultra-applications to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will target the capability of markets to innovate. We think we know that if you deliver ultra-mega-efficiently then you may also upgrade intuitively. Think real-world. 280 Group practically invented the term "ROI metrics". It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! The metrics for long-term, viral content reports are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Rails. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Without data hygiene, you will lack methodologies. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. 280 Group is the industry leader of blog-based e-businesses. It may seem astounding, but it's true! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. The ability to matrix wirelessly leads to the aptitude to grow ultra-compellingly. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to mesh perfectly than to empower virtually. The solutions factor is out-of-the-box, affiliate-based. Think dynamic, resource-constrained, B2C2B. Think enterprise. Think mission-critical, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time.