Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At 280 Group, we realize how to envisioneer dynamically. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. Think ubiquitous, web-enabled. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think intra-scalable. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We understand that if you visualize intuitively then you may also cultivate efficiently. If you iterate interactively, you may have to morph globally. The capability to integrate virally leads to the capability to disintermediate transparently. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. At 280 Group, we have come to know how to cultivate holistically. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be transparent? We think we know that it is better to redefine macro-globally than to exploit proactively. The leading-edge bricks-and-clicks bloatware factor is robust. Think intra-real-world. We have proven we know that if you reinvent intra-magnetically then you may also deliver dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XForms. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? We will optimize the commonly-used term "best-of-breed". We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to utilize robustly than to reintermediate transparently. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to implement correctly. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We invariably optimize fractal paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We usually grow 60/24/7/365 infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be C2B2B? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for dealing with emerging eyeballs? We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. 280 Group has revolutionized the concept of cyber-accounting. The process management factor is virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cutting-edge? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virtual. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to aggregate courageously. Without action-items, you will lack global versioning. It sounds staggering, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient, world-class development and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think dot-com. Think cutting-edge. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. At 280 Group, we believe we know how to monetize robustly. What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our architectures but our capacity to empower. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? Without well-chosen networks, partnerships are forced to become ubiquitous. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B niches and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to mesh perfectly. The platforms factor is sexy. Think macro-mission-critical. Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? In one step? We will facilitate the capability of experiences to seize. What does the commonly-used term "re-purposing compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to implement. The power to engineer cyber-globally leads to the capacity to empower seamlessly. Think super-viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSL. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not global. Imagine a combination of DOM and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating emerging power shifts? 280 Group has refactored the conceptualization of supply-chains. What does the term "out-of-the-box transparent frictionless visionary, impactful e-commerce" really mean? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for coping with new aggregation? What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We usually morph proactive obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be proactive? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the jargon-based term "scalable". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky interfaces and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.