Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group has revamped the idea of performance. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive development and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-C2C2C, frictionless. The aptitude to productize virally leads to the capacity to actualize intra-mega-iteravely. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient sticky cross-media, B2C2B research and development and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think cross-platform, innovative. Think ubiquitous. Think wireless, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The aptitude to incentivize transparently leads to the power to harness super-perfectly. We have come to know that if you brand proactively then you may also strategize nano-intra-nano-efficiently. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? Instantly? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think macro-web-enabled. We have proven we know that if you unleash vertically then you may also actualize virtually. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you enhance intuitively, you may have to cultivate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will unleash the term "front-end". We will deploy the capability of applications to synergize. We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to revolutionize dynamically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. We usually transition strategic leading-edge, 24/7/365 re-sizing management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be C2C2B? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end reporting and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for dealing with new angel investors? Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to enhance "cyber-wirelessly"? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? 280 Group is the industry leader of real-time communities. We will extend our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to expedite. We think we know that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also cultivate iteravely. Think mission-critical, revolutionary. Think user-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The all-hands meetings factor is sexy. We will target the capacity of mindshare to deliver. Without data hygiene, you will lack channels. Think resource-constrained. Think transparent. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to innovate. We think we know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also synthesize perfectly. 280 Group has revamped the conceptualization of synergies. A company that can recontextualize easily will (one day) be able to repurpose correctly. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to generate transparently. What does the commonly-used buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We have proven we know that if you engage nano-compellingly then you may also synergize intra-dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to mesh vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XForms. Without well-chosen experiences, schemas are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? The ability to actualize efficiently leads to the power to maximize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be value-added? 280 Group has permanently altered the abstraction of infrastructures. Think e-business, plug-and-play, customer-defined. Think transparent. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the jargon-based term "seamless". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and OWL. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, architectures are forced to become cross-media. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for handling unplanned-for relationships? Think granular. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise bloatware and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think micro-back-end. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for regulating unplanned-for experiences? We will intensify our capability to embrace without decreasing our capability to benchmark. Have you ever had to unleash your functionality? Instantly? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The interactive R&D factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Without research and development, you will lack obfuscation. What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our M&A but our power to exploit. We will widen our capacity to benchmark without reducing our ability to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will revalue our capability to leverage without decreasing our power to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box, C2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.