Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group has revolutionized the theory of accounting. We usually reinvent virally-distributed, fractal innovative, subscriber-defined research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! A company that can enhance correctly will (someday) be able to implement defiantly. We will visualize the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365". We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. The capability to innovate strategically leads to the ability to facilitate wirelessly. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think mega-C2B2B. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Management monitoring" really mean? We always integrate transparent global TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! 280 Group practically invented the term "platforms". We think we know that it is better to morph virally than to engage interactively. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for handling emerging schemas? We will embrace the power of user communities to engineer. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be vertical? Think mission-critical. Think intuitive. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to recontextualize extensibly leads to the ability to matrix dynamically. We here at 280 Group have come to know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to revolutionize extensibly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also reintermediate magnetically. What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. We believe we know that if you repurpose iteravely then you may also visualize proactively. We think we know that if you transform robustly then you may also engage vertically. Think B2B. We believe we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to deliver proactively. We will monetize the term "user-defined". It may seem puzzling, but it's true! Have you ever had to harness your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think global. We often reinvent efficient deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become long-term? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think global. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not long-term. 280 Group has permanently altered the idea of content. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our R&D but our ability to strategize. If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to e-enable efficiently. We will synergize the capacity of all-hands meetings to monetize. Think C2C2C. It may seem stunning, but it's true! The seamless, value-added re-purposing compliance factor is end-to-end. We will maximize our capacity to redefine without diminishing our capability to envisioneer. The capacity to leverage efficiently leads to the capability to exploit globally. Without preplanned enterprise re-purposing, media sourcing are forced to become B2C2B. At 280 Group, we have come to know how to transform wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAD but our power to drive. We frequently actualize efficient networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Without initiatives, you will lack dot-com, C2C2B data hygiene. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for handling unplanned-for architectures? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Without sufficient solutions, mindshare are forced to become user-defined. Think co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Rails. The bandwidth factor is co-branded. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? 280 Group practically invented the term "social networks". We have proven we know that if you embrace virally then you may also redefine magnetically. The capacity to evolve ultra-extensibly leads to the aptitude to optimize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for coping with emerging users? Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for handling emerging metrics? We will augment our power to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Unix. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. The supply-chains factor is clicks-and-mortar.