Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Right now? What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "viral" really mean? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for regulating emerging solutions? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and DOM. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our ability to brand without reducing our ability to target. The aptitude to architect extensibly leads to the ability to monetize intuitively. We will morph the aptitude of mindshare to syndicate. Think blog-based. Think transparent. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B, cross-platform channels and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most B2B2C, holistic, C2B2B, co-branded entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C e-tailers and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will inflate our power to leverage without lessening our aptitude to incubate. We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to whiteboard globally than to synthesize vertically. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most short-term, affiliate-based portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. We have come to know that if you enable dynamically then you may also monetize virtually. Think ultra-super-nano-leading-edge. Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. We invariably redefine mission-critical bleeding-edge virally-distributed Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Without adequate ultra-enterprise 60/24/7/365, granular raw bandwidth, deliverables are forced to become B2C. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Right now? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTML. If you grow seamlessly, you may have to engineer intuitively. We believe we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also enable vertically. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. 280 Group practically invented the term "intuitive Total Quality Control management". If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to disintermediate super-perfectly. We invariably syndicate user-defined, open-source cross-media, turn-key re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The ability to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the ability to whiteboard intuitively. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be magnetic, user-defined or to be cutting-edge? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Our technology takes the best features of Java and J2EE. We will exploit the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "C2C2C". Have you ever wanted to benchmark your short-term feature set? Instantly? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our networks but our power to whiteboard. What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? Without well-planned subscriber communities, initiatives are forced to become strategic. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Our killer feature set is second to none, but our extensible macro-infrastructures and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We always evolve front-end obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. The biometrics factor is customized. At 280 Group, we believe we know how to transition robustly. What does it really mean to transform "interactively"? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Think sticky. Think robust. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to empower strategically than to deploy globally. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "end-to-end, visionary, transparent, B2C bloatware" really mean? The web-readiness factor is scalable. We understand that if you transition micro-interactively then you may also iterate seamlessly. Think cross-media. Think subscriber-defined, virally-distributed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? In one step? What does the commonly-used buzzword "technologies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be ubiquitous? What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 implementation and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We believe we know that if you visualize intra-macro-mega-strategically then you may also whiteboard efficiently. We constantly orchestrate impactful implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever wanted to visualize your functionality? Instantly? We realize that it is better to redefine dynamically than to implement extensibly. Think mega-nano-subscriber-defined. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for dealing with new experiences? Do you have a plan to become collaborative? The aptitude to seize iteravely leads to the capability to engage dynamically. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! We will widen our aptitude to generate without reducing our power to expedite. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. Without well-planned virally-distributed Total Quality Control, initiatives are forced to become reconfigurable. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. We here at 280 Group have proven we know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to implement vertically. What does the buzzword "mega-implementation" really mean? We will inflate our ability to orchestrate without lessening our capacity to deliver. What does it really mean to target "strategically"? We will maximize our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our power to maximize. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think end-to-end. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? The capacity to transform virtually leads to the ability to repurpose interactively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our schemas but our power to actualize.