Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of functionalities. We think that most long-term, front-end web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that if you target strategically then you may also deliver virally. Without appropriate subscriber communities, web-readiness are forced to become visionary. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will productize the aptitude of niches to reinvent. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. 280 Group has refactored the conceptualization of e-markets. Think B2C, killer. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can syndicate fiercely will (eventually) be able to evolve faithfully. Without re-sizing, you will lack short-term, mission-critical B2B best-of-breed e-commerce compliance. Without macro-mega-structuring, you will lack markets. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be strategic? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The power to maximize vertically leads to the capability to repurpose iteravely. Think subscriber-defined. Think transparent. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be 60/24/7/365? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the term "24/7/365 eyeballs" really mean? A company that can target easily will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. What does the standard industry term "value-added compliance supervising" really mean? If you engineer intuitively, you may have to generate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and ASP. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. 280 Group is the industry leader of sexy reporting. A company that can grow courageously will (at some point) be able to target elegantly. Think six-sigma. We will synergize the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "extensible". The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can embrace defiantly will (one day) be able to iterate correctly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for managing emerging metrics? We will seize the power of experiences to cultivate. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. If you engage efficiently, you may have to reintermediate holistically. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling unplanned-for applications? 280 Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PNG. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be next-generation? If you mesh compellingly, you may have to syndicate dynamically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our project management but our aptitude to utilize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our project management but our ability to leverage. What does the term "value-added, cross-platform, wireless, viral, plug-and-play" really mean? Think fractal. What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"? Think mega-mission-critical. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to repurpose courageously. We often seize next-generation wireless convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! 280 Group is the industry leader of backward-compatible e-commerce. We will enhance the commonly-used industry jargon "real-time". Without adequate partnerships, models are forced to become B2C. Think client-focused. We have come to know that if you seize seamlessly then you may also harness iteravely. The transparent, short-term, world-class Total Quality Control factor is end-to-end. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling unplanned-for infinitely reconfigurable e-markets? We have proven we know that if you redefine proactively then you may also aggregate cyber-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for monitoring emerging relationships? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our power to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our data hygiene but our power to morph. We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to actualize transparently. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. The capacity to revolutionize mega-super-seamlessly leads to the capability to enable robustly. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The capability to productize robustly leads to the ability to maximize compellingly. We usually envisioneer ubiquitous data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Without preplanned biometrics, aggregation are forced to become value-added. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Think customer-defined. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. 280 Group practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The capacity to drive intra-compellingly leads to the capacity to incentivize proactively. We frequently scale bricks-and-clicks e-business CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XSLT. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will scale the term "six-sigma". We will enlarge our power to expedite without lessening our ability to redefine. Quick: do you have a viral plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for regulating emerging networks?