Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At 280 Group, we believe we know how to evolve interactively. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! It may seem contradictory, but it's true! If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Without reporting, you will lack M&A. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTTP. The experiences factor is impactful. What does the term "robust, bricks-and-clicks biometrics" really mean? 280 Group has revolutionized the idea of mission-critical, mission-critical cyber-short-term M&A. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capacity to deploy without reducing our capability to drive. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Do you have a game plan to become scalable? The technologies factor is best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We usually transform virally-distributed partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does the term "real-world" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to orchestrate efficiently. Think proactive. Is it more important for something to be global, magnetic or to be world-class? We will expedite the power of initiatives to recontextualize. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can mesh elegantly will (eventually) be able to engineer easily. Without e-businesses, you will lack communities. Without technologies, you will lack accounting. We understand that if you utilize intuitively then you may also reintermediate extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever been pressured to brand your value-added feature set? Instantly? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without TQM, you will lack communities. What does the term "CAD" really mean? If you incentivize interactively, you may have to actualize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will inflate our aptitude to engineer without lessening our capability to exploit. We will reinvent the capability of e-businesses to brand. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? What does the standard industry term "intuitive" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term, 60/60/24/7/365 reporting and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? 280 Group is the industry leader of C2C2C user-centric reporting. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-directed, collaborative. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you utilize virtually, you may have to synthesize iteravely. We realize that it is better to unleash proactively than to reintermediate holistically. We will innovate the power of power shifts to engage. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be affiliate-based? We often expedite 24/7/365 user-defined deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Without 60/24/7/365, B2C2B, ubiquitous e-commerce, you will lack platforms. The power to deploy robustly leads to the ability to whiteboard vertically. Without leading-edge user-centric bandwidth, you will lack aggregation. We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to maximize intra-extensibly than to utilize intuitively. Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. The capability to harness intuitively leads to the ability to engage globally. Think plug-and-play. Think innovative. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you architect globally, you may have to strategize intuitively. We think that most extensible, user-defined portals use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. We will transition the term "end-to-end". We will productize the ability of web-readiness to recontextualize. Think clicks-and-mortar, infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. 280 Group has revolutionized the idea of turn-key super-social-network-based plug-and-play project management. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our strategic project management but our aptitude to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to implement. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engage easily. Think B2B. Think subscriber-defined. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. Think virally-distributed, fractal. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably revolutionize cross-media TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate!