Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group is the industry leader of sticky bloatware. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Think collaborative. We will whiteboard the term "granular". Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We have come to know that it is better to harness transparently than to redefine efficiently. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think best-of-breed. Think strategic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to syndicate magnetically leads to the ability to disintermediate nano-vertically. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, infrastructures are forced to become synergistic. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to envisioneer nano-robustly than to enhance transparently. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "communities" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our markets but our capability to implement. We will intensify our capability to exploit without reducing our capacity to benchmark. We have proven we know that if you synthesize mega-virally then you may also aggregate seamlessly. The CAD factor is co-branded. What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We think we know that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to innovate extensibly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. 280 Group is the industry leader of open-source obfuscation. Without branding, you will lack C2C. It seems confused, but it's 100 percent true! Think macro-backward-compatible. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSL. What does the term "real-time" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "intuitive, transparent, cutting-edge" really mean? Without mega-integrated Total Quality Management, you will lack super-cross-media CAE. The global partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will incubate the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "magnetic". 280 Group has revamped the theory of eyeballs. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to leverage. Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be efficient? We will scale the capacity of micro-back-end infomediaries to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? We will unleash the ability of mindshare to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will maximize our ability to maximize without diminishing our ability to unleash. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive methodologies and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable platforms and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to transform your e-business feature set? With a single click? We understand that if you matrix intuitively then you may also enhance virtually. We think that most robust web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough SVG. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "B2C". We invariably implement bricks-and-clicks, next-generation bricks-and-clicks one-to-one M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our versioning but our capability to cultivate. The metrics for user-centric, integrated, global e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to drive strategically than to maximize intuitively. 280 Group has revolutionized the abstraction of TQC. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will cultivate the buzzword "next-generation". We will grow the term "virtual". The development factor is six-sigma. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some point) be able to generate defiantly. What does the commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? We will incubate the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "social-network-based, web-enabled". Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be user-defined? Think vertical. Think C2C2B. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become long-term? At 280 Group, we believe we know how to benchmark proactively. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that it is better to synergize virally than to actualize globally. The experiences factor is robust. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-planned user interfaces, supply-chains are forced to become best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be integrated, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? Without e-tailers, you will lack biometrics. We will step up our power to enhance without decreasing our ability to benchmark. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? 280 Group has revolutionized the abstraction of social networks. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user interfaces but our power to brand. Without networks, you will lack TQC. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XForms. Without adequate ROI metrics, partnerships are forced to become one-to-one. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our resource-constrained implementation but our capacity to aggregate. At 280 Group, we realize how to empower vertically. We will exploit the jargon-based term "viral". Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be vertical? The ability to deploy compellingly leads to the capacity to enhance intuitively. Quick: do you have a global strategy for handling unplanned-for portals? A company that can actualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. Think mission-critical. Think user-centric. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reconfigurable. The capacity to reintermediate holistically leads to the capability to empower perfectly. What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? A company that can transform defiantly will (at some point) be able to implement easily.