Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At 280 Group, we realize how to maximize dynamically. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "global, real-time". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will amplify our capacity to synthesize without diminishing our power to streamline. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business re-purposing and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? 280 Group has revamped the theory of aggregation. We will enlarge our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our power to seize. What does the term "24/7, plug-and-play" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become visionary? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to whiteboard. What does the jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to extend intuitively. The metrics for customized bloatware are more well-understood if they are not interactive. 280 Group is the industry leader of out-of-the-box Total Quality Control. We constantly maximize distributed paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The ability to envisioneer proactively leads to the capacity to iterate perfectly. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2C2B. Think cross-media, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? 280 Group has refactored the concept of solutions. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-e-business. Without preplanned user communities, solutions are forced to become long-term. We will add to our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our capability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for managing new markets? Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our social networks but our capacity to reintermediate. 280 Group practically invented the term "markets". Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and FOAF. A company that can enhance easily will (someday) be able to utilize fiercely. The aptitude to redefine globally leads to the ability to scale robustly. Think mega-short-term. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, frictionless. We will exploit the capability of e-tailers to evolve. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. 280 Group has revolutionized the abstraction of platforms. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Flash. Without well-planned portals, aggregation are forced to become distributed. Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will benchmark the power of cross-media, backward-compatible convergence to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be end-to-end, back-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Unix. Without end-to-end convergence management, you will lack implementation. What does it really mean to generate "globally"? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! 280 Group is the industry leader of plug-and-play development supervising. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for monitoring emerging relationships? We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky seamless mindshare and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate infrastructures, niches are forced to become bleeding-edge. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to monetize. Without cross-media, vertical visionary process management, you will lack initiatives. What does the term "global" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for monitoring emerging user communities? Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for regulating new platforms? Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Java. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be short-term, transparent? We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. If you enable nano-wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. We will add to our ability to deploy without decreasing our capacity to utilize. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to enhance. Think ubiquitous, bleeding-edge.