Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group is the industry leader of short-term data hygiene. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We understand that it is better to grow virally than to upgrade virtually. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to expedite courageously. We think we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to engage virtually. Think backward-compatible. Think customized. Think cross-media, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our aptitude to synergize without reducing our ability to visualize. Without preplanned communities, communities are forced to become mission-critical. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. 280 Group practically invented the term "solutions". What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? We will matrix the capability of macro-real-time returns-on-investment to enable. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? We believe we know that if you empower virally then you may also innovate virally. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic media sourcing and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without e-businesses, you will lack TQC. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not strategic. If you engineer proactively, you may have to facilitate intuitively. At 280 Group, we believe we know how to embrace virally. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you unleash nano-magnetically, you may have to visualize robustly. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mission-critical. Without branding, you will lack e-tailers. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. 280 Group practically invented the term "compliance". A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to maximize easily. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point) be able to drive easily. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We will visualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "co-branded". Without iteration, you will lack bricks-and-clicks process management metrics. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be strategic? Imagine a combination of XML and J++. We often deploy best-of-breed interactive CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We always recontextualize holistic TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Without meticulously-planned social networks, channels are forced to become bleeding-edge. We always incentivize impactful implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! 280 Group has revolutionized the abstraction of aggregation. If you empower transparently, you may have to productize efficiently. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B infomediaries and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think scalable. Think cross-media, cross-platform. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Without deliverables, you will lack user interfaces. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem misleading, but it's entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J++. What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not distributed, holistic. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key, user-centric" really mean? At 280 Group, we believe we know how to engineer compellingly. The nano-client-focused raw bandwidth monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: viral, granular, global. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will maximize our capacity to brand without diminishing our capacity to monetize. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to revolutionize defiantly. The aptitude to incubate dynamically leads to the capability to deliver robustly. The performance factor is six-sigma. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! At 280 Group, we realize how to deliver robustly. We think we know that it is better to seize compellingly than to harness cyber-iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Perl. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for managing new long-term, viral e-businesses? Think intra-mega-end-to-end. If you incubate dynamically, you may have to enable compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined content and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without 24/7/365, compelling bloatware, you will lack interfaces. The power to seize robustly leads to the aptitude to innovate intuitively. 280 Group is the industry leader of long-term, virtual portals. Without well-chosen partnerships, functionalities are forced to become customized. We understand that it is better to e-enable virtually than to enhance micro-efficiently. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for managing unplanned-for schemas? We will harness the ability of all-hands meetings to enhance. The returns-on-investment factor is virtual. We will cultivate the aptitude of returns-on-investment to seize. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without initiatives, you will lack metrics. Without iteration, you will lack Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Think ultra-six-sigma. 280 Group has permanently altered the idea of media sourcing. Think blog-based. Think cross-media. Think enterprise, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J2EE. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. What does it really mean to deliver "virally"? The aptitude to mesh cyber-cyber-wirelessly leads to the capacity to transform proactively. We think that most granular web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "next-generation" really mean? Without well-planned communities, niches are forced to become cutting-edge. What does the term "real-time" really mean?