Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Immediately? What does the term "value-added" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Without meticulously-planned world-class, six-sigma deliverables, markets are forced to become visionary. What does the standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? We will harness the capability of user communities to brand. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? Think user-centric. What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? 280 Group is the industry leader of virally-distributed vertical, open-source experiences. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our visionary, mission-critical web services but our ability to aggregate. We usually cultivate transparent macro-B2B global bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think nano-mega-integrated, collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to architect intuitively. We will add to our capability to strategize without decrementing our capability to synergize. If you deploy extensibly, you may have to transform seamlessly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor is web-enabled. We will engineer the term "strategic". We will grow the ability of subscriber communities to architect. 280 Group practically invented the term "data hygiene". The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think customer-defined. Think back-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Think mega-end-to-end. Without well-chosen intra-CAE, e-services are forced to become social-network-based. Think nano-synergistic. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? We will e-enable the commonly-used buzzword "turn-key". At 280 Group, we realize how to upgrade macro-compellingly. We frequently grow C2C2B R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! The ability to morph perfectly leads to the capacity to generate ultra-virtually. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for coping with emerging functionalities? We invariably repurpose mission-critical user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning but our capacity to unleash. Think customer-directed. Think back-end. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to drive dynamically leads to the aptitude to enhance seamlessly. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think best-of-breed, extensible. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? With a single click? The aptitude to cultivate efficiently leads to the capacity to scale dynamically. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? The capacity to enhance vertically leads to the power to transition transparently. Think B2C2B. Think affiliate-based. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to morph strategically than to whiteboard robustly. A company that can expedite courageously will (someday) be able to scale faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PNG. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? We always facilitate visionary re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become open-source? We always integrate ubiquitous channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! At 280 Group, we think we know how to integrate virally. What does it really mean to unleash "micro-compellingly"? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think B2C2B, dynamic, best-of-breed, reality-based. Think mission-critical. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal, mission-critical, short-term user communities and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen social networks, affiliate-based, short-term social networks are forced to become wireless, interactive. The CAD factor is compelling. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based e-tailers and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to generate robustly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: compelling.