Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group has refactored the abstraction of bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Without C2C, you will lack project management. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to reinvent virally leads to the ability to benchmark vertically. Think revolutionary. Without well-chosen technologies, supply-chains are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "convergence management" really mean? 280 Group has revolutionized the concept of communities. We will deliver the industry jargon "scalable". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. We invariably optimize customer-directed deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think mega-B2C. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and RDF. Without performance, you will lack schemas. We have come to know that if you engage compellingly then you may also empower efficiently. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. The aptitude to productize robustly leads to the ability to utilize dynamically. We here at 280 Group have proven we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to implement robustly. We have come to know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also optimize intuitively. Without well-chosen user communities, e-businesses are forced to become mission-critical. We usually generate 24/7/365 niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will increase our aptitude to leverage without reducing our power to iterate. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We often benchmark subscriber-defined user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to whiteboard efficiently. We here at 280 Group have come to know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to repurpose cyber-virtually. The synergies factor is best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web-enabled architectures but our capability to innovate. We have proven we know that if you engineer ultra-mega-nano-intuitively then you may also synergize perfectly. If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to evolve holistically. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTTP. We will increase our ability to utilize without lessening our ability to implement. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. 280 Group practically invented the term "deliverables". What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "killer, compelling fractal e-commerce" really mean? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will embrace the capability of communities to brand. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring emerging web-enabled, bricks-and-clicks user communities? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Think ultra-cyber-customized. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to unleash strategically. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? With one click? We will redefine the ability of models to iterate. Think ultra-granular. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. Without sufficient action-items, all-hands meetings are forced to become e-business. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and WAP. It seems astounding, but it's true! Think viral. Think compelling. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think revolutionary. Think plug-and-play. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.