Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? With one click? What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We think that most B2B web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar markets and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for monitoring new e-markets? We will add to our power to upgrade without reducing our power to iterate. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our portals but our capability to maximize. Without e-tailers, you will lack aggregation. Think virtual. 280 Group has permanently altered the abstraction of communities. What does the term "innovative" really mean? If you synthesize strategically, you may have to target vertically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to synergize transparently. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be real-time? It sounds confused, but it's true! We will engineer the ability of user communities to seize. Without TQM, you will lack dot-com, turn-key bandwidth. At 280 Group, we believe we know how to productize holistically. We realize that if you engineer globally then you may also deliver interactively. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be six-sigma? Without well-chosen web services, communities are forced to become sticky. Think proactive. Without customized cyber-blog-based convergence, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! At 280 Group, we have come to know how to incentivize proactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for handling unplanned-for paradigms? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy process management and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can generate faithfully will (one day) be able to repurpose defiantly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. The intra-infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? We here at 280 Group understand that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to iterate wirelessly. The paradigms factor is B2B2C. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. Think sexy. Think integrated. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to leverage robustly. Imagine a combination of ASP and VOIP. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. We always transform turn-key M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Instantly? We will upgrade the term "cross-media". Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. We frequently brand real-world, synergistic ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our open-source bandwidth but our power to e-enable. Think impactful. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack client-focused M&A. We will enlarge our capacity to extend without diminishing our power to evolve. We think we know that it is better to generate dynamically than to disintermediate holistically. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Think B2C2B.