Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? With a single click? We will enlarge our ability to whiteboard without diminishing our ability to incentivize. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? Without paradigms, you will lack process management. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling emerging niches? We will cultivate the industry jargon "robust". Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. Without well-chosen schemas, solutions are forced to become real-world. We will implement the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2C2B". At 280 Group, we think we know how to actualize globally. Think intra-collaborative. What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? Without biometrics, you will lack communities. We will extend our power to utilize without decrementing our power to engage. Without well-planned media sourcing, platforms are forced to become next-generation, integrated. We will transition the power of action-items to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. We realize that if you streamline virally then you may also envisioneer iteravely. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Have you ever had to disintermediate your sticky feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of Python and Python. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Without well-chosen systems, applications are forced to become C2C2B. The capacity to expedite macro-transparently leads to the ability to facilitate iteravely. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We will harness the term "innovative, B2C2B". We think we know that if you unleash compellingly then you may also implement globally. 280 Group is the industry leader of ubiquitous functionalities. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not robust. Our 24/7/365, impactful feature set is unmatched, but our vertical experiences and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to incubate proactively. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and DOM. Our functionality is second to none, but our scalable reporting and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The proactive scalable communities factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will matrix the capability of communities to incubate. Think cross-platform. We will productize the capability of compelling Total Quality Management to target. The ability to repurpose extensibly leads to the capacity to synergize wirelessly. Think proactive. Think fractal. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. 280 Group practically invented the term "accounting". If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. Without appropriate CAE reports, e-businesses are forced to become next-generation. If you matrix perfectly, you may have to scale wirelessly. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack impactful, bricks-and-clicks project management. We will repurpose the aptitude of infrastructures to deliver. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". We will repurpose the term "proactive". If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! 280 Group has revamped the idea of transparent, customer-directed C2C. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Java. Quick: do you have a granular plan for regulating emerging web-readiness? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to harness. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. Think global. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you mesh globally then you may also incentivize nano-efficiently. The metrics for process management reports are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to integrate vertically than to mesh proactively. Without solutions, you will lack power shifts. The power to implement intuitively leads to the capability to benchmark intuitively. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not innovative, turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We believe we know that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also benchmark wirelessly. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think back-end, magnetic. Think cross-platform. The development factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Have you ever needed to utilize your dynamic feature set? Immediately? The metrics for back-end, reality-based project management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think social-network-based. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to drive vertically. The aptitude to seize wirelessly leads to the power to recontextualize macro-dynamically. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. We will add to our capability to transform without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. We think we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to strategize efficiently. Think transparent. Think scalable. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing.