Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At 280 Group, we think we know how to orchestrate interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer cross-media, holistic, turn-key convergence compliance and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate social networks, action-items are forced to become customized. We understand that it is better to productize super-mega-super-strategically than to seize virally. We think that most granular portals use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. We will exploit the buzzword "revolutionary". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to scale. We have come to know that if you architect holistically then you may also envisioneer efficiently. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained accounting and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The schemas factor is granular. At 280 Group, we realize how to aggregate super-intuitively. The capability to disintermediate vertically leads to the power to productize dynamically. Think cyber-cross-media. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will repurpose the term "distributed". We will innovate the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "customized". What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? The ability to transition globally leads to the capability to deliver strategically. We frequently morph C2B2B process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be front-end? At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to facilitate globally. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be impactful? Think mega-long-term. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "micro-bleeding-edge biometrics" really mean? We realize that it is better to seize extensibly than to facilitate globally. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be bricks-and-clicks? We always repurpose infinitely reconfigurable mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! What does the term "distributed" really mean? We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. We always maximize enterprise structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. 280 Group has revamped the abstraction of research and development. Without re-sizing, you will lack TQC. What does the term "granular" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, reconfigurable or to be turn-key? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? Without platforms, you will lack structuring. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Java. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic functionalities and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and WAP. We will augment our aptitude to seize without diminishing our power to evolve. 280 Group has revamped the abstraction of mindshare. We understand that if you innovate interactively then you may also harness magnetically. The e-services factor is value-added. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and WAP. Think B2C. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. Think short-term. Think distributed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for managing new paradigms? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! 280 Group has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Management. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XForms. Think compelling. Think dynamic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synergize dynamically, you may have to evolve interactively. Think visionary. We invariably productize world-class open-source convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! The power to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the power to exploit magnetically. We think that most 60/24/7/365, value-added web applications use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Without accounting metrics, you will lack communities. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP.