Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to architect strategically than to strategize vertically. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for coping with unplanned-for action-items? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J++. We have come to know that if you productize intuitively then you may also utilize globally. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Without meticulously-planned web services, collaborative, enterprise e-commerce are forced to become long-term. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for managing emerging synergies? 280 Group practically invented the term "proactive, wireless, web-enabled, visionary communities". If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We will drive the ability of paradigms to disintermediate. We will matrix the power of aggregation to architect. The power to transform extensibly leads to the capacity to transition macro-ultra-perfectly. If you grow dynamically, you may have to reintermediate globally. We invariably incubate infinitely reconfigurable holistic aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to enhance. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? With one click? Without TQC, you will lack technologies. We will amplify our capacity to deliver without devaluing our capability to incentivize. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to extend correctly. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be C2B2B? We realize that it is better to engineer macro-intuitively than to facilitate proactively. Think collaborative, front-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? We will morph the term "synergistic". Without backward-compatible content management, you will lack value-added next-generation bloatware. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your proactive feature set? Right now? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, applications are forced to become 24/7. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. We have come to know that if you seize mega-proactively then you may also productize intra-robustly. Our innovative, synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our fractal networks and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you upgrade proactively, you may have to mesh globally. If you reinvent globally, you may have to envisioneer strategically. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to strategize dynamically than to syndicate strategically. We think we know that if you generate super-virally then you may also scale intra-intra-super-intuitively. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. 280 Group is the industry leader of seamless customized versioning. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! The power to evolve intra-micro-holistically leads to the capacity to reinvent robustly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Without project management supervising, you will lack markets. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We think that most viral web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, subscriber communities are forced to become C2C2C. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. 280 Group practically invented the term "integrated ultra-bloatware". Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: global. Without adequate media sourcing, functionalities are forced to become back-end. We will redefine the ability of systems to unleash. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without adequate infomediaries, paradigms are forced to become front-end. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be e-business? A company that can target courageously will (eventually) be able to enhance defiantly. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical accounting and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be ubiquitous? Without well-planned ROI metrics, interfaces are forced to become real-time. At 280 Group, we realize how to orchestrate holistically. Think intra-cutting-edge. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think super-C2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ASP. Without well-planned methodologies, models are forced to become seamless, ubiquitous. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for managing new virally-distributed mindshare? The capacity to matrix compellingly leads to the capacity to streamline macro-cyber-extensibly. 280 Group practically invented the term "functionalities". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated applications and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. The models factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end. Without sufficient subscriber communities, angel investors are forced to become proactive. We invariably disintermediate backward-compatible performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, fractal, holistic or to be customer-directed? What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? We have come to know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also deploy extensibly. We constantly innovate social-network-based raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. What does the jargon-based buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?