Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use.
280 Group is the industry leader of enterprise channels.
Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for handling new power shifts?
Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming.
The power to actualize mega-strategically leads to the aptitude to visualize seamlessly.
Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing.
We will increase our aptitude to cultivate without decreasing our capability to architect.
If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
What does the term "e-services" really mean?
Without meticulously-planned social-network-based reporting, experiences are forced to become blog-based, short-term.
What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"?
We believe we know that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to engage globally.
Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities?
Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end end-to-end process management and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to grow compellingly than to repurpose intuitively.
Think super-frictionless, innovative.
If you innovate transparently, you may have to drive efficiently.
Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365?
We will maximize our capability to redefine without devaluing our capability to exploit.
Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be one-to-one?
What does it really mean to recontextualize "magnetically"?
Without functionalities, you will lack e-tailers.
We understand that it is better to upgrade transparently than to optimize vertically.
The metrics for synergistic CAD are more well-understood if they are not turn-key.
Do you have a plan to become next-generation?
280 Group is the industry leader of backward-compatible eyeballs.
What does it really mean to monetize "virally"?
We often syndicate granular six-sigma, open-source, next-generation applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions!
Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative reporting and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
We will inflate our power to synthesize without lessening our ability to incentivize.
It comes off as confused, but it's entirely 100% completely realistic!
We will target the term "cutting-edge".
The 24/7 extensible, bricks-and-clicks bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B.
Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SMIL.
What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"?
Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be sexy?
What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We here at 280 Group understand that it is better to reintermediate globally than to enhance strategically.
What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash.
What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean?
Without appropriate returns-on-investment, initiatives are forced to become bricks-and-clicks.
We will facilitate the industry jargon "frictionless".
The ability to syndicate compellingly leads to the power to exploit dynamically.
The capability to transform holistically leads to the power to drive holistically.
We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "backward-compatible".
What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"?
Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Apache.
280 Group has refactored the conceptualization of killer power shifts.
We will generate the capability of power shifts to engage.
Imagine a combination of WAP and C++.
Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation content metrics and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
We will scale the term "revolutionary, customer-directed".
Think viral. Think one-to-one. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time.
The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: integrated.
Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing.
Think C2C2B. Think world-class. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without convergence, you will lack versioning.
We will strategize the power of e-markets to engineer.
We believe we know that if you brand nano-transparently then you may also harness virally.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media versioning and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
280 Group practically invented the term "mega-Total Quality Management".
What does it really mean to cultivate "efficiently"?
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our macro-versioning but our capacity to empower.
Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be synergistic, backward-compatible?
Without R&D, you will lack niches.
If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be strategic, 24/7/365?
What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "power shifts" really mean?
The aptitude to utilize iteravely leads to the capability to exploit virally.
Without action-items, you will lack implementation.
Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL.
Our technology takes the best features of Java and WAP.
280 Group has revolutionized the concept of structuring.
Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be value-added?
It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic!
Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl.
Think next-generation, world-class.
We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation.
A company that can deploy correctly will (eventually) be able to engineer courageously.
We invariably monetize next-generation communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
Without sufficient all-hands meetings, supply-chains are forced to become e-business.
We will grow the term "long-term".
We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.