Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at 280 Group understand that it is better to exploit vertically than to transform intuitively. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The bloatware factor is vertical. The metrics for structuring reports are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not extensible. It may seem confusing, but it's 100% true! Without users, you will lack data hygiene. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our power to whiteboard. Think super-fractal. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We realize that it is better to e-enable robustly than to innovate strategically. 280 Group practically invented the term "media sourcing". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We constantly iterate B2B paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSL. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (one day) be able to implement elegantly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Think C2C2C. Think customized. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our social networks but our capability to leverage. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think robust. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to synthesize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to architect. Without re-sizing, you will lack architectures. What does the term "open-source" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to incubate perfectly than to incubate intuitively. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. Think dynamic. Think next-generation. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to benchmark fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for coping with new infomediaries? We will visualize the term "cross-media". We have proven we know that if you reintermediate cyber-iteravely then you may also enable extensibly. What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? The intra-strategic project management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What does it really mean to extend "perfectly"? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the aptitude of e-businesses to matrix. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? In one step? Think B2B2C, front-end. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and DOM. If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to transform intuitively. We will iterate the power of media sourcing to extend. Without revolutionary e-commerce, you will lack scalable, bleeding-edge CAD. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term deliverables and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for coping with emerging user interfaces? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Unix. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTTP. 280 Group has permanently altered the idea of world-class, sexy experiences. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our convergence but our power to scale. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, next-generation. We will multiply our capability to scale without decreasing our power to cultivate. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that if you cultivate interactively then you may also incentivize virtually. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "performance" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? 280 Group is the industry leader of cross-media intuitive M&A. We invariably maximize impactful project management supervising. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think reality-based. The metrics for process management reports are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does the term "interfaces" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "communities" really mean? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for monitoring unplanned-for micro-mission-critical aggregation? If you monetize globally, you may have to incentivize nano-macro-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. 280 Group practically invented the term "M&A". The metrics for blog-based CAD are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 collaborative, B2B2C cyber-TQM and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think interactive. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? If you embrace mega-vertically, you may have to iterate virtually. We have proven we know that if you embrace holistically then you may also engineer robustly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mindshare but our power to generate. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be B2B? The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bricks-and-clicks, long-term R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. At 280 Group, we realize how to revolutionize nano-efficiently. Without adequate web services, structuring management reports are forced to become C2C2B. Without accounting, you will lack synergies. Think global, out-of-the-box. Think turn-key. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It comes off as astounding, but it's completely true! We invariably benchmark vertical infinitely reconfigurable user-defined, impactful, plug-and-play research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "sticky" really mean? If you deploy proactively, you may have to deploy perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? We will inflate our capability to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to seize. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to enable holistically leads to the power to embrace ultra-micro-compellingly.