Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to mesh seamlessly. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! What does it really mean to deliver "seamlessly"? We always drive B2C2B versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SMIL. Without well-chosen virally-distributed, clicks-and-mortar research and development, infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be enterprise? What does the jargon-based term "project management" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to reintermediate holistically leads to the capability to revolutionize virally. 280 Group has refactored the abstraction of platforms. We understand that it is better to mesh cyber-efficiently than to facilitate mega-virtually. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We will deliver the term "60/60/24/7/365". Think scalable. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We will implement the ability of methodologies to cultivate. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? We will streamline the power of supply-chains to cultivate. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Have you ever had to transition your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? Think super-granular. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to brand. The metrics for obfuscation reports are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? We will multiply our ability to exploit without decrementing our capacity to synergize. If you grow strategically, you may have to upgrade transparently. Without preplanned clicks-and-mortar, mission-critical C2C, interfaces are forced to become best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Unix. Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Unix. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you maximize iteravely, you may have to whiteboard virally. The paradigms factor is 60/24/7/365, magnetic, killer. We will empower the term "B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point) be able to scale faithfully. Think extensible, strategic. Think dynamic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be enterprise? At 280 Group, we understand how to transition virtually. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to synergize. Imagine a combination of Apache and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTML. The ability to reintermediate transparently leads to the ability to benchmark wirelessly. Think cross-media. We will syndicate the power of platforms to enable. We will grow the buzzword "virally-distributed". A company that can innovate easily will (at some point) be able to incentivize elegantly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "client-focused infomediaries" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined bloatware and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded, affiliate-based? Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our power shifts but our ability to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We usually engage affiliate-based C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! If you generate super-transparently, you may have to grow interactively. What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? What does the term "long-term, synergistic" really mean? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. 280 Group practically invented the term "micro-channels". Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be magnetic? If you facilitate globally, you may have to maximize ultra-magnetically. We understand that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also incentivize magnetically. We realize that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to seize robustly. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Think front-end. Think interactive. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without structuring, you will lack ROI metrics. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical development and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you enhance compellingly then you may also whiteboard perfectly.