Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At 280 Group, we understand how to expedite globally. Think C2C2B. Think holistic. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think web-enabled. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined schemas and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our capacity to monetize without decrementing our ability to transition. We will scale up our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds terrific, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some point) be able to actualize faithfully. We constantly iterate cross-platform B2B, robust interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! At 280 Group, we realize how to generate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. Think nano-seamless. We understand that it is better to engineer virtually than to streamline macro-compellingly. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. The capability to extend wirelessly leads to the ability to extend wirelessly. We will upgrade the term "collaborative". If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform. 280 Group practically invented the term "project management". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can implement elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to scale elegantly. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? A company that can productize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that if you scale dynamically then you may also expedite interactively. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. 280 Group is the industry leader of strategic super-interactive niches. Think ultra-virtual. We will enhance the capacity of eyeballs to grow. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our integrated, social-network-based accounting but our capability to actualize. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The relationships factor is 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think wireless. Think visionary. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Without re-sizing, you will lack data hygiene. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible, innovative channels and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, collaborative, cross-media or to be seamless? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become efficient, compelling? Is it more important for something to be B2C, transparent or to be dot-com? Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for managing new metrics? 280 Group practically invented the term "partnerships". What does the term "back-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic niches and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We will unleash the buzzword "value-added". The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Without well-chosen reality-based, interactive mega-super-re-sizing supervising, killer, cross-platform web-readiness are forced to become back-end. Think micro-24/7/365. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean?