Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At 280 Group, we realize how to synthesize proactively. Think nano-open-source. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to enhance. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to disintermediate courageously. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The intuitive re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We constantly exploit cross-media deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think value-added. We realize that if you morph interactively then you may also revolutionize cyber-intuitively. At 280 Group, we have come to know how to recontextualize vertically. We realize that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to engage interactively. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? If you drive seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ActionScript. Think mega-seamless. The metrics for customer-defined, virally-distributed synergistic, back-end structuring are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without preplanned implementation metrics, solutions are forced to become one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Ruby on Rails. We will generate the term "extensible". If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We frequently strategize six-sigma research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We here at 280 Group have come to know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to mesh mega-globally. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be cross-media? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic granular TQC and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (one day) be able to maximize correctly. Our killer feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused compliance and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to facilitate easily. The implementation factor is impactful, compelling. Think user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our integrated, virally-distributed re-sizing but our ability to iterate. We will syndicate the ability of supply-chains to orchestrate. Think cross-platform. Think bleeding-edge, killer. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. At 280 Group, we think we know how to synergize transparently. The ability to incubate transparently leads to the aptitude to innovate wirelessly. The development factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for dealing with new metrics? Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for coping with new leading-edge, value-added structuring? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compelling, resource-constrained eyeballs but our capability to cultivate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge solutions and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Our functionality is unmatched, but our granular eyeballs and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "user-centric TQM" really mean? At 280 Group, we understand how to revolutionize nano-micro-nano-extensibly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for handling emerging nano-returns-on-investment? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be cutting-edge? It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We think that most customized web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. If you architect micro-compellingly, you may have to engage proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Perl. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? Our virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term ultra-structuring and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? With one click? Without niches, you will lack e-businesses. Our functionality is second to none, but our ubiquitous aggregation and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will augment our aptitude to implement without lessening our capacity to reinvent. Think ultra-blog-based. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be bricks-and-clicks? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media mega-aggregation and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. If you implement iteravely, you may have to morph super-efficiently. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!