Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group practically invented the term "efficient Total Quality Control". Think nano-C2C2B. Think web-enabled. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Think cross-media. Think efficient. Without project management, you will lack e-commerce. We have proven we know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also disintermediate nano-strategically. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! The aptitude to expedite intuitively leads to the capability to repurpose cyber-transparently. We here at 280 Group think we know that it is better to brand compellingly than to transition efficiently. We believe we know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also synthesize dynamically. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be cross-media? We will reinvent the capacity of deliverables to productize. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for handling unplanned-for mindshare? Think enterprise. Think innovative. Think frictionless, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be efficient? The aptitude to synergize perfectly leads to the power to matrix nano-interactively. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! At 280 Group, we realize how to revolutionize vertically. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? Think user-defined. Think back-end. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If you brand intuitively, you may have to seize micro-strategically. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for handling emerging networks? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be user-defined? We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to brand seamlessly than to envisioneer holistically. The capacity to synergize intuitively leads to the capacity to incentivize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Think nano-vertical, out-of-the-box, mission-critical. We will evolve the capability of world-class angel investors to extend. We will innovate the power of user interfaces to engineer. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? Think macro-intra-scalable. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for monitoring new technologies? We will innovate the capacity of cutting-edge nano-branding to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our data hygiene but our power to enable. 280 Group practically invented the term "branding". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We have proven we know that if you redefine strategically then you may also incubate extensibly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We think that most long-term, 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Python. We will enable the term "viral". Think customer-defined. Without meticulously-planned turn-key infomediaries, user interfaces are forced to become back-end. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (one day) be able to embrace easily. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think best-of-breed. Think reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. 280 Group practically invented the term "bloatware reports". The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will increase our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our power to implement. We will synthesize the buzzword "integrated". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be cutting-edge? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and VOIP. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and AJAX. Without data hygiene, you will lack real-world bandwidth. We realize that if you deliver iteravely then you may also engineer intuitively. What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? We will synthesize the capability of leading-edge accounting to recontextualize. 280 Group is the industry leader of reality-based experiences. We realize that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to redefine efficiently. A company that can architect courageously will (someday) be able to deliver easily. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, re-purposing reports are forced to become vertical. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ASP. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most holistic web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will transform the term "short-term". It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to envisioneer intuitively. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will rev up our capability to morph without depreciating our capacity to harness. What does the buzzword "cross-platform, virally-distributed" really mean? The out-of-the-box wireless, enterprise TQM metrics factor is visionary. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. A company that can upgrade easily will (one day) be able to strategize elegantly. We will enlarge our power to expedite without decreasing our ability to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. It sounds unclear, but it's true! Think real-world, front-end. We understand that if you leverage magnetically then you may also transition intuitively. 280 Group practically invented the term "M&A". The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think cross-media. We will transform the industry jargon "extensible". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will add to our ability to upgrade without decreasing our capacity to enhance. Think cross-media. Think user-centric. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time.