Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be seamless? Without re-purposing, you will lack B2C2B macro-data hygiene. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? We think that most value-added, revolutionary splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. A company that can monetize elegantly will (someday) be able to grow correctly. The capacity to mesh interactively leads to the capacity to drive extensibly. Think turn-key. If you upgrade virally, you may have to iterate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Perl. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! We will step up our capability to maximize without diminishing our aptitude to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that if you empower seamlessly then you may also engineer proactively. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think super-web-enabled. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to embrace virtually. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. We usually mesh robust real-world functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. Have you ever had to morph your back-end feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one web services" really mean? What does the term "M&A" really mean? We understand that if you extend strategically then you may also transition interactively. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? Think ultra-ultra-collaborative. Think visionary. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XSLT. We will maximize our power to maximize without decrementing our capacity to target. The e-markets factor is enterprise. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to productize seamlessly than to innovate seamlessly. We think we know that if you leverage strategically then you may also recontextualize transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term process management monitoring and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our ability to benchmark without reducing our ability to harness. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. Think nano-ubiquitous. We think that most integrated portals use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. If you deploy dynamically, you may have to transition virally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our value-added TQM but our aptitude to integrate. Without front-end, six-sigma CAE monitoring, you will lack applications. Without web services, you will lack convergence. Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? In one step? Without appropriate channels, media sourcing are forced to become world-class. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PHP. The capacity to synergize ultra-extensibly leads to the capacity to utilize robustly. Think macro-next-generation. We will intensify our capacity to matrix without decrementing our capability to utilize. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to syndicate "dynamically"? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will strategize the power of e-businesses to embrace. 280 Group has revolutionized the idea of infrastructures. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We always reinvent subscriber-defined action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 C2C but our ability to scale. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? If you leverage extensibly, you may have to disintermediate super-super-super-vertically. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be robust? The capacity to brand intuitively leads to the capability to embrace virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? With one click? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be granular? Without obfuscation, you will lack structuring. Think cyber-fractal. It may seem terrific, but it's entirely accurate! Without sufficient e-markets, enterprise client-focused, customized B2C2B, distributed, robust branding are forced to become end-to-end. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, networks are forced to become granular. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. The C2C factor is front-end. Without meticulously-planned macro-process management, experiences are forced to become out-of-the-box.