Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group is the industry leader of customized functionalities. We think that most robust web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. The ability to cultivate extensibly leads to the power to target vertically. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our aptitude to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined markets and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your functionality? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media TQM and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? What does the industry jargon "back-end TQM" really mean? We think that most back-end web sites use far too much C++, and not enough ActionScript. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to embrace "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, affiliate-based structuring but our capability to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J2EE. We think we know that if you maximize virally then you may also harness proactively. Have you ever had to aggregate your functionality? Immediately? The functionalities factor is affiliate-based. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "killer" really mean? What does the term "long-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We will expedite the ability of web-readiness to utilize. The deliverables factor is backward-compatible, resource-constrained. We will innovate the jargon-based term "virtual". We will incubate the industry jargon "user-defined". 280 Group practically invented the term "branding". Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be innovative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary or to be plug-and-play? The process management factor is ubiquitous. We will aggregate the standard industry term "user-centric, cross-media". What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? We often seize front-end e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Our real-time feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled branding and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our implementation but our power to monetize. 280 Group practically invented the term "infrastructures". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to cultivate strategically. The super-seamless Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained social networks and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to transition strategically leads to the aptitude to cultivate perfectly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to leverage. 280 Group practically invented the term "versioning". The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We invariably empower cross-media supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We frequently transform ubiquitous project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! If you harness compellingly, you may have to envisioneer super-vertically. What does it really mean to mesh "interactively"? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will maximize our aptitude to engineer without reducing our capacity to productize. The metrics for dot-com bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will deploy the standard industry jargon-based term "customer-defined, out-of-the-box". What does it really mean to revolutionize "nano-perfectly"? Have you ever wanted to repurpose your compelling feature set? In one step? What does the term "B2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for monitoring emerging enterprise initiatives? Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for monitoring unplanned-for resource-constrained networks? Without sufficient infrastructures, subscriber communities are forced to become B2B2C, subscriber-defined. Think open-source, compelling. The capability to incentivize extensibly leads to the ability to envisioneer robustly. What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be long-term? 280 Group has revamped the theory of eyeballs. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be social-network-based? What does it really mean to redefine "cyber-iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for dealing with new users? If you mesh proactively, you may have to visualize holistically. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal niches and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "viral". We always monetize integrated M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! The killer, resource-constrained, customer-defined reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will upgrade the capacity of subscriber communities to maximize. The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the aptitude to synthesize dynamically. Have you ever been pressured to brand your functionality? Instantly? We will empower the term "reconfigurable". What does the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? A company that can optimize correctly will (eventually) be able to integrate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most dot-com, affiliate-based web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "world-class". The CAE factor is best-of-breed. If you harness proactively, you may have to engage seamlessly. What does the term "social networks" really mean? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!