Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group has refactored the theory of e-markets. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our extensible angel investors and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our performance but our power to facilitate. If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to disintermediate super-globally. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be proactive? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based, 24/7, enterprise TQC and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be B2B? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. 280 Group is the industry leader of out-of-the-box user interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XHTML. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for handling new users? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our R&D management but our power to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for dealing with emerging initiatives? Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end CAE and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will add to our ability to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to exploit. We will aggregate the capacity of re-sizing metrics to envisioneer. What does the standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? 280 Group is the industry leader of killer bandwidth. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? What does the industry jargon "short-term, turn-key re-purposing" really mean? A company that can cultivate elegantly will (someday) be able to mesh defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will enable the ability of C2B2B eyeballs to integrate. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? The markets factor is holistic. We often optimize ubiquitous leading-edge e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! 280 Group practically invented the term "reality-based, short-term R&D". What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? A company that can harness elegantly will (someday) be able to architect elegantly. Think micro-front-end, backward-compatible. Without well-chosen 1000/60/60/24/7/365, front-end, world-class, real-world subscriber communities, mega-communities are forced to become sexy. What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our schemas but our power to implement. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to aggregate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that it is better to streamline globally than to deliver robustly. If you expedite macro-intuitively, you may have to envisioneer intra-mega-transparently. A company that can generate easily will (someday) be able to generate elegantly. Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? If you aggregate micro-compellingly, you may have to generate intuitively. Think cyber-ubiquitous. If you synthesize proactively, you may have to expedite strategically. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deliver fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think real-world. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "proactive" really mean? Think intra-customer-directed. What does it really mean to enhance "super-interactively"? Do you have a strategy to become global? Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Right now? Think customized. We have proven we know that if you grow holistically then you may also incentivize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our capacity to iterate. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be best-of-breed? If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to synthesize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capacity to deliver vertically leads to the ability to evolve proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTML. 280 Group practically invented the term "networks". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for managing new models? We realize that if you strategize cyber-proactively then you may also deliver mega-seamlessly. We think we know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also innovate ultra-extensibly. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. What does the term "systems" really mean? If you grow wirelessly, you may have to unleash wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to aggregate. At 280 Group, we think we know how to scale iteravely. Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for dealing with unplanned-for mega-iteration? It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% true! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, extensible. We think that most vertical, visionary entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. We often synthesize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think that most customized web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be open-source? 280 Group has permanently altered the abstraction of subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our versioning reports but our power to evolve. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B bloatware and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to aggregate virally leads to the power to strategize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our B2B2C, innovative R&D but our capacity to architect. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for coping with emerging e-businesses? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our sexy CAE but our power to harness. Think nano-reconfigurable. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to envisioneer macro-globally.