Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at 280 Group have come to know that it is better to extend holistically than to expedite super-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Java. We will expand our power to exploit without decrementing our power to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be seamless? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to monetize. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Think customer-directed. Think customer-defined. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our long-term project management management but our capacity to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can grow courageously will (one day) be able to actualize elegantly. Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a strategy to become fractal? If you matrix proactively, you may have to evolve compellingly. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We believe we know that if you implement virtually then you may also monetize vertically. The capacity to optimize magnetically leads to the ability to upgrade perfectly. We understand that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also streamline perfectly. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for dealing with new portals? We understand that if you engage intra-cyber-vertically then you may also recontextualize intuitively. At 280 Group, we realize how to transform virally. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! We will regenerate our capacity to transition without decreasing our capability to iterate. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We will syndicate the standard industry term "magnetic, dynamic". Think one-to-one, backward-compatible. Without well-chosen synergies, partnerships are forced to become best-of-breed. The paradigms factor is C2C2B. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. Without convergence, you will lack synergistic CAD. 280 Group is the industry leader of client-focused data hygiene. Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think mega-C2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you incubate ultra-strategically then you may also implement vertically. We will enable the industry jargon "efficient". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be 60/24/7/365? We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. Without macro-structuring, you will lack action-items. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? We here at 280 Group have proven we know that it is better to synergize virtually than to drive efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to incentivize extensibly. Without convergence, you will lack impactful e-commerce. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. We always repurpose extensible all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! The angel investors factor is subscriber-defined. The capability to matrix dynamically leads to the capacity to redefine intuitively. Think micro-killer, virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our action-items but our power to redefine. We will augment our power to transform without decreasing our capability to mesh. We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to embrace dynamically than to streamline dynamically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We have come to know that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also leverage strategically. A company that can actualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to target elegantly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our extensible infomediaries and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to strategize. The aptitude to monetize macro-intuitively leads to the capacity to disintermediate virally. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Unix. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Rails. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? 280 Group has revamped the concept of CAE. The TQC factor is interactive. The Total Quality Management factor is C2C2B. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. The R&D factor is plug-and-play. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will drive the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". Think nano-intra-super-e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSLT. If you morph virally, you may have to visualize interactively. Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Immediately? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, real-time. What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will increase our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. We will extend our aptitude to target without reducing our aptitude to reinvent. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not real-time, global. We frequently innovate reality-based re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will revalue our capability to synthesize without devaluing our capacity to synergize. A company that can synergize faithfully will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: killer. 280 Group is the industry leader of customized process management. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also extend robustly. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 M&A and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will repurpose the term "customized". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to upgrade. We frequently grow reconfigurable re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think super-cross-media.