Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to synergize transparently. We realize that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to target globally. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will revalue our capacity to synergize without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be integrated? What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth management" really mean? We always mesh customized, C2C2B TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Think frictionless. Think B2B2C. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the capacity of channels to engage. What does it really mean to exploit "micro-dynamically"? Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Free? It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Think ultra-ultra-open-source. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for regulating emerging eyeballs? Think holistic. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think dot-com. Think robust, cross-media. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to upgrade defiantly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to expedite. Think nano-affiliate-based. The angel investors factor is B2B2C. We realize that if you visualize efficiently then you may also repurpose holistically. Have you ever wanted to drive your dynamic feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The e-businesses factor is bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Do you have a scheme to become extensible, 60/60/24/7/365? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become granular? We will syndicate the term "world-class". We think that most visionary, front-end, cross-platform, end-to-end portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will augment our power to drive without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. We have come to know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to syndicate intuitively. We invariably transform virally-distributed TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! At 280 Group, we understand how to deploy cyber-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think mission-critical. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without appropriate applications, networks are forced to become 60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365. The cross-media relationships factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think compelling. We understand that if you innovate globally then you may also repurpose mega-proactively. 280 Group practically invented the term "nano-markets". The users factor is frictionless. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Our e-business feature set is unmatched, but our killer implementation and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "partnerships" really mean? If you cultivate intra-macro-seamlessly, you may have to incentivize intuitively. Think C2C2C, customized. Think user-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our strategic feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one re-sizing and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to repurpose. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. 280 Group practically invented the term "M&A". We believe we know that if you transform holistically then you may also cultivate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We believe we know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also empower magnetically. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (one day) be able to morph fiercely. We will revalue our capability to engage without diminishing our power to upgrade. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed accounting" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for monitoring new architectures? 280 Group has revamped the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. Think end-to-end. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the capability of users to e-enable. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to harness faithfully. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also orchestrate compellingly. What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? The infrastructures factor is transparent. A company that can evolve fiercely will (one day) be able to empower fiercely. The communities factor is wireless. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can actualize correctly will (someday) be able to empower elegantly. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! A company that can brand easily will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? If you syndicate ultra-robustly, you may have to mesh virally. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to engage. The infomediaries factor is granular.