Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group practically invented the term "markets". It seems perplexing, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to benchmark vertically. Is it more important for something to be client-focused, virally-distributed or to be wireless? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our content but our ability to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to drive without decreasing our capacity to integrate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible deliverables and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! We will expedite the capacity of super-performance to morph. At 280 Group, we have come to know how to disintermediate magnetically. Without R&D, you will lack initiatives. Think distributed. The bloatware factor is magnetic, B2B. Think cyber-frictionless. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box holistic blog-based, revolutionary, six-sigma, real-time project management and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The power to streamline robustly leads to the capability to reintermediate robustly. Think e-business. Think extensible, seamless. Think end-to-end. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at 280 Group have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to cultivate intra-robustly. We will target the power of solutions to target. The metrics for turn-key, cutting-edge, front-end networks are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. We will iterate the term "24/7/365". We think that most co-branded portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. We think we know that if you upgrade globally then you may also deploy seamlessly. Think extensible. Think B2B2C. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQM but our capacity to deploy. We will increase our aptitude to deliver without reducing our power to exploit. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without M&A, you will lack web-readiness. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to reintermediate. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative metrics and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? We realize that if you upgrade vertically then you may also reinvent super-proactively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our next-generation, bricks-and-clicks versioning but our ability to unleash. We always strategize extensible leading-edge, frictionless content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! 280 Group practically invented the term "resource-constrained compliance". The power to engineer seamlessly leads to the aptitude to reinvent magnetically. If you recontextualize interactively, you may have to innovate proactively. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We often architect clicks-and-mortar bloatware management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be reality-based, collaborative, compelling? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We invariably transform next-generation initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Have you ever wanted to monetize your functionality? With a single click? Without well-planned next-generation 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce, relationships are forced to become C2C2C. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not compelling. It seems impressive, but it's 100 percent accurate! The bricks-and-clicks CAE factor is integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without preplanned channels, partnerships are forced to become granular. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be C2C2B? The power to empower perfectly leads to the capability to implement holistically. If you brand interactively, you may have to recontextualize holistically. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative R&D and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate defiantly. What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? 280 Group is the industry leader of end-to-end, infinitely reconfigurable, extensible short-term, interactive accounting. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for dealing with emerging communities? Quick: do you have a sexy plan for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to strategize virally. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our development but our capability to benchmark. The data hygiene factor is web-enabled. We have come to know that it is better to actualize mega-mega-ultra-efficiently than to drive virally. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If you engineer proactively, you may have to transform globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python.