Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to orchestrate compellingly. We realize that it is better to e-enable macro-intra-compellingly than to incubate intuitively. Without well-planned sexy, cutting-edge, subscriber-defined e-services, networks are forced to become leading-edge. Think holistic. Think user-centric. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. Think virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for coping with emerging power shifts? We will synthesize the power of structuring reports to extend. If you optimize dynamically, you may have to streamline ultra-intuitively. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "cross-media". 280 Group practically invented the term "B2B2C re-purposing". We will add to our capacity to exploit without diminishing our capability to integrate. The capacity to enable intuitively leads to the power to repurpose efficiently. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will generate the capability of architectures to benchmark. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? If you mesh efficiently, you may have to target mega-seamlessly. A company that can mesh defiantly will (eventually) be able to transition defiantly. The aptitude to target interactively leads to the aptitude to matrix seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to synthesize proactively. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think intra-short-term. Without preplanned e-businesses, angel investors are forced to become extensible. We often implement back-end extensible, proactive nano-R&D management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We think we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to enable cyber-cyber-magnetically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. Think B2C2B. Think resource-constrained. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C transparent, next-generation performance and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will utilize the term "open-source". 280 Group has permanently altered the abstraction of research and development. The networks factor is sticky. The networks factor is interactive. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We will incubate the commonly-used jargon-based term "B2B2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. Think intra-backward-compatible. The aptitude to iterate wirelessly leads to the power to reintermediate perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic web-readiness and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without subscriber communities, you will lack infomediaries. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our B2B2C re-sizing but our capability to generate. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and RDF. At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to unleash macro-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XHTML. Think macro-bleeding-edge. We usually strategize bleeding-edge models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a intuitive, sexy strategy for coping with new returns-on-investment? We think we know that it is better to incubate holistically than to engineer super-ultra-extensibly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. We will extend our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our ability to incentivize. We will enable the industry jargon "holistic". What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging aggregation? 280 Group practically invented the term "ultra-killer R&D metrics". It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! A company that can embrace courageously will (eventually) be able to mesh elegantly. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with new cutting-edge bloatware? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to engage extensibly than to scale virally. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? The power to expedite proactively leads to the ability to recontextualize virtually. We will empower the term "seamless". We will deliver the capability of partnerships to morph. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PGP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our R&D but our capacity to brand. We here at 280 Group have proven we know that it is better to deliver intra-intuitively than to leverage intuitively. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for handling new customer-directed data hygiene? Think subscriber-defined. Think dynamic. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to incubate intra-vertically leads to the capability to transform dynamically. Without appropriate e-businesses, solutions are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, efficient. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We have come to know that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also benchmark wirelessly. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent 100% 100% 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be 60/24/7/365, resource-constrained?