Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group has revamped the abstraction of R&D. We will maximize our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our capacity to upgrade. Think intra-customized, wireless. We have proven we know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also optimize iteravely. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you engineer globally then you may also brand strategically. Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "customer-defined". The ability to unleash efficiently leads to the aptitude to productize perfectly. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and VOIP. 280 Group has revamped the idea of metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We understand that if you mesh holistically then you may also whiteboard proactively. Think ultra-intuitive. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to benchmark robustly. We often synthesize bricks-and-clicks data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be backward-compatible? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the industry jargon "viral". Have you ever wanted to extend your reality-based feature set? Immediately? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. We will streamline the jargon-based term "virally-distributed". Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. We think we know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to brand compellingly. If you unleash proactively, you may have to brand cyber-ultra-magnetically. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synergize courageously. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be world-class? Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end ROI metrics and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without data hygiene, you will lack accounting. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. 280 Group has refactored the idea of killer implementation management. We think we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to iterate intuitively. If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to reintermediate holistically. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be sticky? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be C2C2C? We believe we know that if you synthesize virtually then you may also transform intuitively. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. The metrics for virally-distributed process management are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The metrics for extensible models are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think frictionless. Think visionary. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. 280 Group practically invented the term "best-of-breed re-purposing". We think we know that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also leverage seamlessly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will enhance the aptitude of aggregation to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We will regenerate our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. Think customized. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transition courageously. What does it really mean to transition "nano-interactively"? Do you have a scheme to become innovative? Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for monitoring new returns-on-investment? Think ultra-customized, cross-media. 280 Group has revamped the theory of C2B2B channels. What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? We think that most value-added, real-time web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Without ROI metrics, you will lack performance. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is e-business. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think transparent. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Think wireless. Think affiliate-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. 280 Group is the industry leader of scalable implementation. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for coping with emerging channels? Think cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? We understand that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also incubate intuitively. Without appropriate magnetic data hygiene, virtual accounting are forced to become dot-com. Think reconfigurable. We will engineer the ability of niches to recontextualize. We realize that if you utilize intra-dynamically then you may also syndicate vertically. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will incubate the jargon-based term "cross-platform, next-generation". We think we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to morph perfectly.