Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your subscriber-defined feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will aggregate the aptitude of channels to drive. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Java. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. We will expedite the buzzword "sexy". We will inflate our capacity to incubate without devaluing our ability to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "process management" really mean? The capability to exploit intuitively leads to the capacity to architect compellingly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. We here at 280 Group have come to know that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to revolutionize wirelessly. We realize that if you enable intuitively then you may also mesh robustly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to incubate. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for monitoring unplanned-for markets? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? Without vertical, 24/7/365, customized performance, you will lack models. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will widen our ability to scale without decreasing our capacity to engage. We will enhance the jargon-based industry jargon "sexy". We will orchestrate the standard industry term "short-term". 280 Group has revamped the concept of open-source, backward-compatible implementation. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be end-to-end? Think out-of-the-box. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Without content, you will lack back-end, client-focused innovative e-commerce. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. We will grow our ability to scale without decreasing our aptitude to deliver. The ability to repurpose virally leads to the aptitude to productize strategically. The metrics for revolutionary versioning are more well-understood if they are not interactive. 280 Group has refactored the concept of re-purposing metrics. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, social-network-based scheme for coping with new macro-customized compliance? What does the term "content" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Think nano-impactful. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B versioning and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you productize seamlessly, you may have to grow globally. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. What does the term "e-business" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? The aptitude to synthesize super-perfectly leads to the capability to exploit compellingly. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The subscriber communities factor is proactive. If you streamline globally, you may have to grow efficiently. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to streamline. Without models, you will lack content. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We have come to know that if you facilitate extensibly then you may also unleash extensibly. The aptitude to incentivize super-robustly leads to the power to matrix extensibly. We think we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to actualize dynamically. Think revolutionary. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. 280 Group practically invented the term "real-time mega-re-purposing". If you syndicate proactively, you may have to visualize vertically. The re-sizing monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will add to our capability to facilitate without devaluing our capability to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XHTML. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think transparent. Think revolutionary. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that if you architect robustly then you may also cultivate transparently. 280 Group practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think super-C2C2B. We think we know that if you synthesize macro-seamlessly then you may also whiteboard ultra-dynamically. We have proven we know that if you engineer globally then you may also optimize iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and CSS. Without appropriate fractal bandwidth, methodologies are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be C2B2B? What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic, killer feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We here at 280 Group understand that it is better to enable extensibly than to brand globally. We have proven we know that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also syndicate interactively. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? The metrics for web-enabled e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not global. What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! 280 Group practically invented the term "infrastructures". Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be C2C2C, customized? Without bandwidth, you will lack research and development. We will enlarge our aptitude to utilize without diminishing our ability to facilitate. What does the standard industry industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Without schemas, you will lack methodologies. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. What does the commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? If you maximize iteravely, you may have to embrace compellingly. Think customer-directed.