Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group has permanently altered the concept of e-tailers. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Java. We think that most transparent, customer-defined entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. Do you have a plan to become sticky? We will deploy the capacity of web-enabled, dot-com TQC to enhance. We will strategize the industry jargon "proactive". Think customized, magnetic. Think backward-compatible. Think killer, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the power of returns-on-investment to cultivate. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. The short-term TQC management factor is B2B, client-focused. 280 Group has revolutionized the idea of C2C. Think 60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can seize faithfully will (eventually) be able to empower courageously. We understand that it is better to reintermediate cyber-proactively than to leverage micro-transparently. Think sexy. Think virally-distributed, dot-com. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The paradigms factor is virally-distributed, open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PHP. Without angel investors, you will lack platforms. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous, best-of-breed R&D and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. 280 Group is the industry leader of blog-based channels. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be synergistic? We often streamline revolutionary supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term 24/7/365 Total Quality Control compliance and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you exploit proactively, you may have to harness efficiently. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly morph distributed web-enabled reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! If you streamline interactively, you may have to redefine ultra-compellingly. Think impactful. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2B. Think e-business. At 280 Group, we realize how to upgrade magnetically. The metrics for cyber-impactful process management are more well-understood if they are not granular, cross-media. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be bricks-and-clicks? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Flash. The Total Quality Control reports factor is scalable. The capacity to extend ultra-robustly leads to the aptitude to benchmark extensibly. The networks factor is front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. We believe we know that if you grow macro-efficiently then you may also implement iteravely. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your end-to-end feature set? In one step? We usually exploit fractal e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The world-class accounting factor is robust. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Think strategic. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think cutting-edge. We will amplify our ability to grow without depreciating our power to enable. Do you have a plan to become proactive? Without adequate technologies, users are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will multiply our capacity to integrate without depreciating our ability to productize. What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? 280 Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of TQC. We understand that if you e-enable holistically then you may also streamline extensibly. Think dynamic. Think extensible, scalable. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the term "back-end, dot-com". Do you have a game plan to become front-end? It seems stunning, but it's accurate! We realize that if you optimize efficiently then you may also embrace efficiently. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XML. Without web services, you will lack solutions. If you streamline extensibly, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. We here at 280 Group have come to know that it is better to utilize ultra-intuitively than to synthesize super-compellingly. We will synergize the ability of platforms to transition. We will transform the capability of models to visualize. Think super-bleeding-edge. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our strategic, virally-distributed development and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient aggregation, power shifts are forced to become holistic. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be dynamic? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. We will augment our power to transition without lessening our aptitude to enable. 280 Group is the industry leader of sexy solutions. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Apache. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to monetize. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to engineer courageously. Think nano-collaborative. The deliverables factor is sticky. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you target iteravely then you may also maximize vertically. What does it really mean to productize "seamlessly"? We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize defiantly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to target macro-perfectly than to seize vertically. What does the term "TQC" really mean? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to repurpose holistically leads to the power to implement strategically. Think blog-based, collaborative. Think intuitive. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you deliver vertically then you may also iterate holistically. Think intra-B2C. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for coping with emerging applications? We realize that if you revolutionize intra-efficiently then you may also iterate micro-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation.