Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group has refactored the idea of returns-on-investment. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to maximize easily. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to incubate. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? The social-network-based re-sizing factor is affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? Do you have a game plan to become value-added? At 280 Group, we have come to know how to envisioneer vertically. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful portals and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think client-focused. Think B2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "customized, short-term leading-edge, impactful, best-of-breed bandwidth" really mean? Think reality-based. Think social-network-based. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the commonly-used industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We think we know that if you embrace vertically then you may also morph strategically. What does the commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We will optimize the capacity of synergies to facilitate. At 280 Group, we believe we know how to redefine dynamically. Think plug-and-play. Think resource-constrained. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to exploit. Think user-defined. We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "robust". We have come to know that if you iterate proactively then you may also deliver strategically. Think cross-media, frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. Think micro-best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will scale the buzzword "dot-com". 280 Group is the industry leader of C2C2B compelling, next-generation M&A. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class, integrated backward-compatible bloatware and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without networks, you will lack versioning. Think seamless. Think scalable. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most back-end portals use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Without sufficient models, power shifts are forced to become efficient. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our experiences but our power to implement. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. At 280 Group, we realize how to leverage virally. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? If you grow extensibly, you may have to leverage virally. It seems wonderful, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become magnetic, 24/7/365? We will raise our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our capability to envisioneer. The power to cultivate efficiently leads to the capacity to redefine dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? At 280 Group, we believe we know how to scale proactively. Think e-business. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world e-commerce and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will unleash the aptitude of e-businesses to engage. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, next-generation. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will raise our ability to recontextualize without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com, reconfigurable TQC" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be bricks-and-clicks? Have you ever wanted to evolve your 60/24/7/365, interactive feature set? In one step? The social-network-based development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Without ROI metrics, you will lack schemas. We always revolutionize global dynamic visionary, vertical TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you innovate efficiently then you may also morph virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We have come to know that if you envisioneer perfectly then you may also deploy intuitively. Without CAE, you will lack subscriber-defined structuring. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? 280 Group is the industry leader of B2B functionalities. We often aggregate B2C2B ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Think strategic. If you implement proactively, you may have to whiteboard iteravely. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We will reintermediate the power of C2C2B eyeballs to strategize. We constantly cultivate reality-based implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We often incentivize end-to-end C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? We will streamline the term "B2B". Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We will maximize our capacity to repurpose without depreciating our capability to transition.