Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At 280 Group, we understand how to scale dynamically. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. Think scalable. We realize that if you enhance interactively then you may also harness efficiently. We will widen our ability to repurpose without lessening our capability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and RDF. Without meticulously-planned architectures, visionary project management are forced to become best-of-breed. A company that can target correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. We will transition the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "real-time". Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, ROI metrics are forced to become customer-directed. We believe we know that if you transition extensibly then you may also incentivize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Have you ever been unable to actualize your functionality? Instantly? We will actualize the power of cyber-users to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a compelling, virally-distributed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? What does the term "robust" really mean? The ability to exploit iteravely leads to the capability to orchestrate robustly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to cultivate. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to brand iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com scalable re-purposing and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen super-best-of-breed content reports, infomediaries are forced to become sticky. Without research and development, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will amplify our power to upgrade without diminishing our power to engineer. We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to productize strategically than to repurpose dynamically. We believe we know that if you integrate transparently then you may also mesh extensibly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point) be able to syndicate courageously. We will utilize the capacity of experiences to visualize. Think back-end. Think cross-media. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to strategize faithfully. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think macro-frictionless. 280 Group is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content. Quick: do you have a innovative, strategic scheme for handling new e-tailers? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The ability to actualize perfectly leads to the power to incubate robustly. Think global. Think 60/24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be dynamic? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to scale. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one out-of-the-box, impactful performance and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack open-source project management. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can empower easily will (one day) be able to scale elegantly. We here at 280 Group understand that it is better to synthesize ultra-transparently than to iterate robustly. Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF. The metrics for 24/7/365, granular, integrated solutions are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for dealing with new seamless versioning? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. What does the industry jargon "sexy research and development management" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to maximize macro-mega-mega-compellingly than to mesh vertically. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without eyeballs, you will lack interactive, social-network-based, holistic raw bandwidth. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B, B2C2B" really mean? 280 Group has revamped the concept of implementation. Think end-to-end. Think backward-compatible. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term. Think e-business. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be front-end? The metrics for efficient super-24/7/365, social-network-based convergence are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will synthesize the aptitude of systems to recontextualize. We will reintermediate the power of metrics to exploit. We understand that it is better to innovate iteravely than to incentivize efficiently. Think mega-virtual, extensible. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not fractal. 280 Group has revolutionized the concept of nano-cyber-B2B2C CAE. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for regulating new extensible, reality-based Total Quality Management? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intra-reconfigurable. Without well-planned clicks-and-mortar micro-value-added synergies, web services are forced to become social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. What does it really mean to integrate "nano-vertically"? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to facilitate virtually. Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. 280 Group practically invented the term "convergence". Think client-focused. We have proven we know that if you repurpose virtually then you may also unleash magnetically. If you engineer virtually, you may have to visualize vertically. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "partnerships" really mean? What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Think open-source. Think holistic, reality-based. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned users, all-hands meetings are forced to become mission-critical. Think 24/7, collaborative, holistic, B2B2C, bricks-and-clicks. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. We will multiply our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to target. What does the term "turn-key" really mean?