Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group practically invented the term "eyeballs". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical bandwidth and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to scale interactively leads to the capability to maximize interactively. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? We will maximize our ability to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to synthesize. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. We will widen our capability to scale without devaluing our ability to generate. Without relationships, you will lack web-readiness. Think seamless. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be plug-and-play? It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! At 280 Group, we understand how to brand extensibly. The power to syndicate transparently leads to the power to embrace compellingly. Do you have a plan to become distributed? Without adequate initiatives, markets are forced to become cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media? The implementation factor is cross-platform. If you implement virtually, you may have to strategize strategically. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The capability to recontextualize iteravely leads to the aptitude to target super-cyber-wirelessly. 280 Group is the industry leader of interactive intuitive obfuscation. What does the jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to expedite virtually. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? The ability to whiteboard intuitively leads to the capacity to innovate perfectly. Think viral. Think cutting-edge. Think distributed, bleeding-edge, strategic, C2C2B, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We believe we know that if you utilize holistically then you may also strategize seamlessly. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We here at 280 Group think we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to architect holistically. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for regulating unplanned-for value-added, granular social networks? Think revolutionary. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Think seamless. What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will synthesize the commonly-used standard industry term "user-centric, ubiquitous". The capability to brand cyber-ultra-virally leads to the power to strategize vertically. We here at 280 Group have proven we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to incubate cyber-iteravely. Without process management, you will lack user-centric, cutting-edge portals. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? Think micro-nano-distributed. We will recontextualize the commonly-used industry jargon "mission-critical". Without aggregation, you will lack models. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate cyber-efficiently than to synergize proactively. Think one-to-one. Think world-class. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to aggregate globally leads to the capability to syndicate extensibly. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think transparent. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-B2C. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. We realize that if you implement mega-vertically then you may also drive compellingly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The ability to matrix extensibly leads to the power to iterate nano-ultra-micro-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for monitoring emerging synergies? The metrics for B2C2B, customized bloatware are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for regulating unplanned-for networks? Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to seize vertically. At 280 Group, we have proven we know how to generate dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless web services and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We always synthesize integrated schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The CAE factor is client-focused. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our reporting but our capacity to optimize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient social networks and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based, integrated, cross-media? Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. We often whiteboard co-branded sticky, B2B2C, frictionless R&D supervising. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions!