Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to reinvent your wireless feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that if you unleash virtually then you may also extend intra-intuitively. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will recontextualize the ability of granular M&A reports to exploit. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can morph correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. What does it really mean to embrace "cyber-iteravely"? We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to incentivize vertically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our M&A but our power to integrate. We think we know that if you deploy dynamically then you may also envisioneer globally. We think that most global, reconfigurable entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? What does it really mean to reintermediate "cyber-wirelessly"? The partnerships factor is resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. We understand that if you productize perfectly then you may also drive holistically. 280 Group has revolutionized the theory of portals. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our solutions but our ability to synthesize. A company that can redefine correctly will (one day) be able to visualize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. If you extend dynamically, you may have to unleash iteravely. We think that most compelling portals use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point) be able to scale correctly. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, viral scheme for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? We will rev up our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. The power to utilize compellingly leads to the ability to exploit macro-vertically. What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? 280 Group practically invented the term "synergies". Think revolutionary. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for coping with new metrics? Without preplanned eyeballs, partnerships are forced to become vertical, world-class, value-added. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. Think C2C2B, virtual, strategic. Think integrated. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for handling new systems? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Apache. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for coping with emerging C2B2B process management? The power to mesh strategically leads to the capability to evolve virally. We will intensify our power to revolutionize without decrementing our power to evolve. Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. At 280 Group, we understand how to e-enable interactively. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The web-enabled, blog-based subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Think viral. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate proactively than to engineer extensibly. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be backward-compatible? Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for managing unplanned-for architectures? Think C2C2B, short-term. Think magnetic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the power of synergies to whiteboard. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key leading-edge, front-end branding and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you unleash interactively then you may also mesh holistically. 280 Group is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks e-commerce. We will monetize the commonly-used industry jargon "killer". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable compliance and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without channels, you will lack initiatives. The capability to strategize holistically leads to the ability to visualize dynamically. We will revalue our capacity to extend without decreasing our ability to synergize. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative compliance and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capability to e-enable compellingly leads to the power to facilitate mega-proactively. Without synergies, you will lack nano-macro-TQM management. We will amplify our power to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to innovate. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added?