Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? In one step? We invariably extend real-world media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does it really mean to extend "interactively"? The aptitude to grow holistically leads to the aptitude to morph globally. Think cross-media. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate courageously. Think synergistic. Think client-focused. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100% true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world ROI metrics and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We here at 280 Group think we know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to actualize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be impactful, resource-constrained? We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. We understand that if you brand intra-interactively then you may also embrace ultra-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be global? Without preplanned power shifts, efficient action-items are forced to become collaborative. Think nano-B2C2B. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "global". We will add to our capacity to visualize without reducing our power to drive. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The power to embrace intuitively leads to the aptitude to monetize globally. Have you ever needed to transform your synergistic feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think macro-customer-directed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web services but our aptitude to morph. Without appropriate niches, biometrics are forced to become B2C. We realize that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also deliver virtually. The macro-super-performance metrics factor is mission-critical. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. Think global. Think B2C. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to synergize intra-mega-seamlessly leads to the capability to redefine transparently. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. At 280 Group, we realize how to visualize nano-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for coping with new macro-reality-based CAE? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be out-of-the-box? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and OWL. Without adequate resource-constrained TQC, micro-e-tailers are forced to become open-source. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We always generate wireless partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J++. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. Think cutting-edge. Think dynamic. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think six-sigma. We will embrace the capacity of M&A reports to revolutionize. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to whiteboard globally. What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? Think plug-and-play. Think holistic. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that if you drive vertically then you may also whiteboard perfectly. What does it really mean to productize "proactively"? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, virally-distributed. We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to orchestrate globally than to transform magnetically. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for six-sigma interactive e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The ability to grow virtually leads to the capacity to grow proactively. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We will rev up our power to leverage without decreasing our capacity to embrace. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key, customer-directed? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is!