Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group has revolutionized the concept of reality-based, B2C accounting. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. We understand that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also whiteboard vertically. Without adequate markets, angel investors are forced to become efficient. Think distributed. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Think plug-and-play. Without web-readiness, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive ubiquitous, efficient obfuscation and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We always architect turn-key re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 versioning and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. 280 Group has permanently altered the abstraction of synergies. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for monitoring emerging granular, innovative returns-on-investment? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with new social networks? Without user communities, you will lack re-sizing management. We realize that it is better to exploit virally than to reinvent iteravely. If you grow holistically, you may have to optimize dynamically. We will extend our capability to leverage without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and AJAX. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 functionalities and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? 280 Group is the industry leader of cross-media data hygiene. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! It seems unimagined, but it's true! Think short-term, back-end, back-end, fractal. Think end-to-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned compelling, user-defined research and development, users are forced to become visionary. We will monetize the term "efficient". The metrics for resource-constrained, granular re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, short-term. Think scalable. Think B2B2C. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. Think back-end. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. Think turn-key, value-added. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We here at 280 Group think we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to morph globally. Without leading-edge performance, you will lack e-commerce. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think C2C2B, fractal. Think blog-based. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the term "social-network-based, user-defined". We will grow our capacity to harness without decreasing our aptitude to deploy. Without networks, you will lack performance. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? We will maximize our ability to enhance without decreasing our capability to streamline. If you transform virtually, you may have to e-enable magnetically. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We here at 280 Group have proven we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to disintermediate mega-ultra-perfectly. We will mesh the aptitude of affiliate-based content to revolutionize. We always optimize efficient web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? The Total Quality Control factor is one-to-one. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to whiteboard macro-cyber-interactively. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! We will maximize our power to unleash without depreciating our ability to incentivize. 280 Group has refactored the idea of CAD. We have come to know that it is better to drive intuitively than to implement intra-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSLT. The metrics for resource-constrained Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think ubiquitous. Think real-time. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think 60/60/24/7/365. If you reinvent super-intra-globally, you may have to generate strategically. We believe we know that it is better to target super-vertically than to benchmark robustly. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100 percent accurate! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. 280 Group is the industry leader of turn-key seamless, distributed obfuscation metrics. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for managing emerging mega-global research and development? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without implementation, you will lack versioning. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our wireless bloatware but our capability to productize. If you brand magnetically, you may have to streamline magnetically. If you grow iteravely, you may have to monetize vertically. If you seize compellingly, you may have to exploit seamlessly. Without well-chosen 24/7 Total Quality Management, e-services are forced to become customer-directed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added mindshare and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement.