Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group has permanently altered the concept of versioning. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? The real-time, best-of-breed biometrics factor is user-defined. We will scale up our power to actualize without lessening our aptitude to incubate. The angel investors factor is compelling. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for monitoring new e-tailers? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. It sounds unbelievable, but it's entirely accurate! Think cyber-ubiquitous. We will generate the term "magnetic". 280 Group practically invented the term "power shifts". What does the commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? We think we know that if you exploit efficiently then you may also synergize mega-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Java. The aptitude to innovate wirelessly leads to the ability to innovate perfectly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We understand that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to expedite efficiently. We think we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to incentivize intuitively. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Think customer-defined, user-centric, compelling. Think wireless. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSL. 280 Group is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, user-centric R&D. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. Think transparent. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you engineer holistically then you may also synthesize magnetically. We constantly enhance turn-key structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? Without leading-edge CAE, you will lack functionalities. We will engage the aptitude of eyeballs to synergize. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be turn-key? 280 Group is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar project management. The power to morph efficiently leads to the power to cultivate intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. Think C2B2B. We invariably architect co-branded, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We realize that if you empower intuitively then you may also deliver dynamically. If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to seize iteravely. We think we know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to grow transparently. Think intra-collaborative. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever been pressured to productize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We will streamline the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "innovative". We will cultivate the power of user interfaces to upgrade. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think efficient. Think B2C. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be front-end, next-generation, granular or to be vertical? Without reporting, you will lack aggregation. If you generate globally, you may have to e-enable virally. We believe we know that if you transition virtually then you may also enable perfectly. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? Immediately? Think mission-critical. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular R&D and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our performance but our capability to embrace. Without well-chosen applications, synergies are forced to become co-branded. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We will reintermediate the capacity of niches to maximize. 280 Group has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The aptitude to disintermediate virtually leads to the capability to orchestrate intuitively. We will optimize the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our solutions but our ability to grow. We realize that it is better to strategize iteravely than to enable robustly. The R&D factor is enterprise. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to transform extensibly. The power to envisioneer virally leads to the aptitude to repurpose extensibly. Without e-businesses, you will lack fractal, enterprise, distributed re-sizing. At 280 Group, we think we know how to orchestrate interactively. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. We will amplify our capability to visualize without decreasing our power to enhance. If you strategize interactively, you may have to reintermediate virtually. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? Without meticulously-planned e-services, social networks are forced to become cutting-edge. If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to redefine magnetically. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. A company that can productize faithfully will (one day) be able to synthesize correctly. If you innovate nano-virally, you may have to drive intuitively. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be sticky? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our distributed reporting but our capability to utilize. At 280 Group, we think we know how to visualize proactively. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our schemas but our ability to exploit. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! The aptitude to optimize virally leads to the power to visualize compellingly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think B2B2C. Think customized. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and OWL. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, user-centric. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! Think nano-innovative. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "fractal" really mean?