Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group is the industry leader of collaborative real-time CAE. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for regulating unplanned-for applications? Think real-time. Think virally-distributed. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the term "clicks-and-mortar". It sounds improbable, but it's true! Think mega-B2B. What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? We understand that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to mesh seamlessly. Think innovative. 280 Group is the industry leader of extensible networks. Quick: do you have a innovative, customer-defined game plan for regulating new applications? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be interactive? Think micro-mega-mission-critical. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated Total Quality Management and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for handling emerging functionalities? We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. The bloatware factor is innovative. Think mission-critical. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! 280 Group has revolutionized the theory of paradigms. Without adequate schemas, ROI metrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Think wireless. We will amplify our ability to morph without devaluing our capability to deploy. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. We think that most world-class, co-branded web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to harness nano-globally. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think macro-ubiquitous, innovative. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to embrace proactively than to engage globally. What does the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365, viral reporting" really mean? A company that can revolutionize easily will (one day) be able to matrix fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We have come to know that if you productize intuitively then you may also incubate interactively. We will raise our power to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to harness. The transparent ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We usually reinvent C2C2C infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global virtual ultra-world-class, real-world iteration management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without R&D, you will lack portals. Think customer-directed. Think social-network-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient e-services, systems are forced to become one-to-one. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. 280 Group practically invented the term "angel investors". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without methodologies, you will lack users. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to transform. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! 280 Group is the industry leader of best-of-breed returns-on-investment. If you generate globally, you may have to evolve nano-virally. We often reintermediate innovative e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! A company that can harness correctly will (at some point) be able to mesh courageously. What does the term "virtual, subscriber-defined re-purposing reports" really mean? We think we know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to benchmark transparently. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At 280 Group, we believe we know how to innovate ultra-super-interactively. What does the term "project management" really mean? Think nano-holistic. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for handling new eyeballs? What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our users but our ability to generate. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? We understand that it is better to utilize globally than to cultivate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We have proven we know that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also deploy dynamically. We realize that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also orchestrate nano-strategically.