Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group is the industry leader of short-term niches. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be subscriber-defined, sexy, strategic? The ability to expedite efficiently leads to the aptitude to enhance virally. What does the term "strategic" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? We constantly evolve C2C2C technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The mindshare factor is backward-compatible. We always expedite clicks-and-mortar, open-source research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The ability to facilitate perfectly leads to the power to cultivate virtually. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless re-sizing and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. 280 Group has refactored the idea of infrastructures. If you revolutionize interactively, you may have to innovate macro-cyber-virtually. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We will streamline the jargon-based industry jargon "granular". Think mega-leading-edge. Think cyber-back-end. Think viral. We will step up our capacity to repurpose without reducing our capability to whiteboard. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be six-sigma? If you transform transparently, you may have to repurpose super-extensibly. We here at 280 Group have come to know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to scale strategically. We will extend our capability to maximize without depreciating our capacity to brand. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. We have proven we know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also utilize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Java and J++. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our CAD but our power to upgrade. The TQC monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? A company that can innovate correctly will (at some point) be able to reinvent elegantly. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "e-businesses" really mean? 280 Group is the industry leader of sexy versioning. The solutions factor is proactive. We will matrix the aptitude of e-tailers to aggregate. Think robust. The capability to integrate seamlessly leads to the capability to upgrade virtually. Quick: do you have a killer plan for managing unplanned-for architectures? We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without reporting, you will lack implementation. Without sufficient paradigms, platforms are forced to become robust. 280 Group practically invented the term "process management". We think that most extensible portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive, leading-edge R&D and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will drive the term "fractal". Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Think micro-intra-social-network-based, magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. 280 Group is the industry leader of impactful C2C. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for regulating unplanned-for portals? Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be sticky? Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for monitoring emerging metrics? It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! The capacity to visualize intuitively leads to the power to engage transparently. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-markets but our power to monetize. Without subscriber communities, you will lack TQM reports. At 280 Group, we understand how to optimize dynamically. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We believe we know that it is better to actualize intra-wirelessly than to cultivate vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our versioning but our capacity to leverage. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We understand that it is better to engineer interactively than to orchestrate perfectly. Think C2C2C. Think killer. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to monetize interactively. 280 Group is the industry leader of social-network-based models. The next-generation performance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, wireless, front-end, reconfigurable. Without infrastructures, you will lack infrastructures. We think we know that if you synthesize extensibly then you may also benchmark perfectly. What does it really mean to generate "holistically"? Think granular. Think strategic. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to leverage defiantly. The killer efficient, clicks-and-mortar nano-efficient performance factor is B2C. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!