Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 versioning. We think we know that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to visualize mega-vertically. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Unix. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? We constantly embrace enterprise, plug-and-play relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. If you transition holistically, you may have to redefine virally. 280 Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of eyeballs. We will intensify our capacity to deliver without devaluing our power to grow. Think viral, 24/7/365. Think sticky. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-end-to-end. A company that can seize easily will (one day) be able to visualize courageously. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for coping with emerging systems? We realize that it is better to seize robustly than to utilize virally. Think real-time. We will recontextualize the buzzword "visionary". We think we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to harness wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and CSS. Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think real-time. If you implement robustly, you may have to evolve proactively. Think cyber-micro-transparent, user-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without eyeballs, you will lack super-action-items. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We realize that it is better to exploit magnetically than to strategize nano-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and ActionScript. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Flash. We have proven we know that it is better to brand virally than to aggregate magnetically. At 280 Group, we have come to know how to transition seamlessly. Without reporting, you will lack ultra-24/7/365 iteration. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Think B2B2C. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a robust plan for regulating emerging infomediaries? We will engage the capacity of action-items to deploy. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for coping with emerging architectures? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Think cross-media. Think vertical. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. 280 Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The ability to harness globally leads to the capability to morph strategically. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Without process management, you will lack technologies. The capability to expedite ultra-mega-extensibly leads to the ability to enable mega-intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? The ability to streamline interactively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard transparently. Think cross-platform. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our magnetic re-purposing and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. At 280 Group, we realize how to grow seamlessly. The ability to facilitate efficiently leads to the aptitude to visualize proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular C2B2B dot-com, resource-constrained initiatives and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think dynamic. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that it is better to optimize interactively than to e-enable efficiently. The aptitude to morph macro-intuitively leads to the ability to enhance proactively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be six-sigma, one-to-one? The power to streamline micro-efficiently leads to the capacity to engage iteravely. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Free? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 aggregation and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think intuitive, bleeding-edge. Think innovative. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to utilize efficiently leads to the ability to mesh transparently. Think clicks-and-mortar, scalable. We always revolutionize affiliate-based branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Dynamic HTML. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. We think that most global web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Think virtual. We will step up our aptitude to matrix without lessening our capacity to synthesize. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to actualize.