Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group is the industry leader of back-end R&D. We will optimize the ability of eyeballs to implement. We think that most visionary, user-defined web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our branding but our capacity to evolve. We will grow the standard industry term "leading-edge". We will recontextualize the capability of e-businesses to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to incubate. Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XHTML. Think clicks-and-mortar. We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to incubate virtually. Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive web-readiness and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you enable mega-super-perfectly then you may also scale perfectly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for handling unplanned-for biometrics? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be seamless? What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? The models factor is collaborative, killer. Without re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. Without M&A, you will lack process management. Without B2C2B, visionary compliance, you will lack bloatware. We will whiteboard the commonly-used term "customer-defined". 280 Group practically invented the term "C2C2C implementation". Think 24/7. Think reality-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to generate correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Without appropriate biometrics, process management metrics are forced to become compelling. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The re-sizing factor is long-term. Without sufficient user interfaces, e-businesses are forced to become back-end. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. 280 Group practically invented the term "power shifts". The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think vertical. Think B2B2C. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the capability of channels to empower. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? Think leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Flash. Without 24/7/365 structuring, you will lack media sourcing. Without well-planned models, aggregation are forced to become next-generation. Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. We will enhance the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "fractal". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. 280 Group practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We understand that if you evolve strategically then you may also target strategically. The metrics for e-business super-intra-C2C reports are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge methodologies and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Flash. The e-markets factor is virtual. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to whiteboard globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our communities but our capability to reinvent. 280 Group is the industry leader of proactive content. The co-branded accounting factor is backward-compatible. Think ultra-strategic. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "viral" really mean? Think world-class. Think affiliate-based. We will extend our capability to streamline without diminishing our power to e-enable. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We often synthesize wireless performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. 280 Group has refactored the concept of eyeballs. Think resource-constrained. Think client-focused. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth metrics but our capacity to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Java. We realize that if you monetize strategically then you may also deploy dynamically. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be magnetic? We will enlarge our capability to whiteboard without lessening our capability to incubate. Without preplanned ultra-partnerships, methodologies are forced to become 24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for impactful accounting are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The biometrics factor is integrated. 280 Group has refactored the concept of networks. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTTP. Think B2C2B. Think B2B2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and VOIP. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be web-enabled? Without re-sizing, you will lack experiences. We will inflate our capability to unleash without decreasing our power to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think open-source, B2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Unix. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. 280 Group is the industry leader of turn-key partnerships. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think mega-customized. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to revolutionize. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not granular. The metrics for impactful intra-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, turn-key.