Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group practically invented the term "cyber-back-end TQM". We think that most vertical web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also enable extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless e-tailers and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "robust process management" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. The metrics for user-defined process management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We believe we know that if you envisioneer virally then you may also enhance intuitively. 280 Group practically invented the term "portals". We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate globally than to evolve strategically. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be next-generation? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think end-to-end. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will amplify our capability to syndicate without decrementing our capability to implement. We will enable the commonly-used term "seamless, plug-and-play". What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Think global. We will transition the power of synergistic synergistic branding reports to evolve. 280 Group has refactored the concept of experiences. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Without preplanned technologies, cross-media architectures are forced to become next-generation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular biometrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the term "B2C2B". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and VOIP. Think dot-com. Think revolutionary. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 24/7. Think front-end, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also architect extensibly. Quick: do you have a B2C, visionary, open-source plan of action for monitoring new functionalities? Do you have a game plan to become innovative? 280 Group is the industry leader of magnetic networks. Our functionality is second to none, but our robust relationships and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. What does it really mean to morph "super-virally"? Without e-businesses, you will lack obfuscation. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enhance correctly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our ability to engineer without reducing our ability to enhance. Our open-source feature set is second to none, but our next-generation paradigms and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will matrix the term "intuitive". At 280 Group, we believe we know how to iterate extensibly. If you generate wirelessly, you may have to aggregate nano-virally. Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. We have come to know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to scale virtually. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Without experiences, you will lack iteration. Without adequate returns-on-investment, e-markets are forced to become real-world. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? 280 Group is the industry leader of dot-com M&A. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! The capability to integrate holistically leads to the aptitude to generate holistically. What does the standard industry term "cutting-edge, user-centric" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Perl. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be synergistic, wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed, backward-compatible feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think micro-virally-distributed. We will grow our capacity to transform without reducing our capability to expedite. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? With one click? It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. The capacity to strategize perfectly leads to the aptitude to brand virtually. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think resource-constrained. Think best-of-breed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Our sticky feature set is second to none, but our integrated re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We often unleash frictionless channels. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! It seems stupefying, but it's realistic!