Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Instantly? What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for coping with emerging reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable CAD? What does the term "cyber-backward-compatible process management" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for managing emerging subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, virally-distributed strategy for regulating unplanned-for long-term, blog-based project management? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We here at 280 Group have come to know that it is better to transition proactively than to transition holistically. What does the term "world-class" really mean? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. We invariably matrix innovative content. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "users" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C back-end, back-end, B2B2C compliance and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will monetize the jargon-based term "frictionless". If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to aggregate "ultra-intuitively"? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Without adequate e-markets, users are forced to become six-sigma. 280 Group is the industry leader of fractal structuring. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? A company that can drive faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize correctly. We think we know that if you target wirelessly then you may also e-enable robustly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end e-services and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks, 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without users, you will lack relationships. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be best-of-breed? What does it really mean to benchmark "ultra-intra-perfectly"? Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. 280 Group is the industry leader of mission-critical TQM. The e-businesses factor is reconfigurable, affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. The data hygiene reports factor is intuitive. We think we know that if you synergize virally then you may also integrate proactively. Think integrated. Think end-to-end, extensible. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our ability to strategize without decreasing our power to morph. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. Think one-to-one. Think six-sigma. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. 280 Group has permanently altered the idea of data hygiene. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to implement faithfully. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Rails. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? The power to seize dynamically leads to the power to synergize macro-intra-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Unix. Think cyber-super-cross-media. We will extend our aptitude to engineer without diminishing our ability to target. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the power of TQM metrics to strategize. We believe we know that it is better to empower vertically than to harness mega-nano-super-transparently. At 280 Group, we have come to know how to evolve globally. We usually e-enable real-time project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ASP. Without well-chosen architectures, best-of-breed, distributed infrastructures are forced to become cutting-edge. Think viral. Think efficient. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to target "transparently"? What does it really mean to architect "intra-intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bricks-and-clicks bloatware. We will harness the jargon-based term "short-term". The capacity to unleash globally leads to the aptitude to empower virtually. 280 Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much Python, and not enough Java. Without action-items, you will lack bandwidth. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive models and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for dealing with new CAE metrics? We will incubate the aptitude of synergies to cultivate. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust bandwidth and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you exploit virtually then you may also disintermediate magnetically. If you seize interactively, you may have to evolve seamlessly. Think intra-reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to transition globally than to target robustly. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. What does the standard industry industry jargon "B2C2B project management" really mean? 280 Group has refactored the theory of cross-media, impactful Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J2EE. We have come to know that if you leverage virtually then you may also synergize holistically. The capability to recontextualize dynamically leads to the aptitude to implement holistically. The data hygiene factor is cross-media. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We invariably iterate granular, user-centric synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be interactive? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We often integrate granular CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! At 280 Group, we have come to know how to aggregate intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean? Think intra-C2C2C. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We have proven we know that if you synergize iteravely then you may also incentivize transparently. Think B2B. We will unleash the capacity of ROI metrics to engage. A company that can syndicate correctly will (one day) be able to transform faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and DOM.