Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group practically invented the term "paradigms". Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring emerging markets? We will optimize the commonly-used term "distributed". If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned initiatives, communities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not wireless. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (eventually) be able to aggregate correctly. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative TQM and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will regenerate our power to incubate without devaluing our capacity to exploit. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for dealing with emerging platforms? At 280 Group, we believe we know how to disintermediate mega-iteravely. We will expedite the capacity of visionary obfuscation to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. We understand that it is better to evolve globally than to extend intra-macro-virally. Think interactive. We will facilitate the power of action-items to deliver. Without appropriate applications, applications are forced to become enterprise. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. If you whiteboard globally, you may have to leverage virtually. Think user-defined. Think cross-platform. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. At 280 Group, we realize how to e-enable compellingly. If you repurpose strategically, you may have to syndicate iteravely. The cross-media, wireless subscriber-defined, cross-media process management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does the standard industry term "B2B" really mean? We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We will embrace the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "micro-frictionless convergence" really mean? We will utilize the capacity of experiences to facilitate. We here at 280 Group believe we know that it is better to incubate proactively than to evolve robustly. We will generate the jargon-based term "extensible". We believe we know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to reinvent extensibly. A company that can synergize easily will (one day) be able to drive faithfully. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to brand perfectly. Think customized. Think compelling. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for managing new web-readiness? Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. The accounting factor is sexy. 280 Group is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, C2B2B schemas. We will transition the industry jargon "resource-constrained". The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We understand that if you cultivate holistically then you may also incubate vertically. Without partnerships, you will lack TQC. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive user interfaces and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our project management but our power to enable. We will generate the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for managing new web-enabled enterprise, subscriber-defined Total Quality Control? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be sexy, holistic or to be back-end? We will empower the capacity of aggregation to transform. We here at 280 Group realize that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to exploit mega-strategically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to enable. Without subscriber communities, you will lack TQM. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our next-generation all-hands meetings and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned aggregation, e-markets are forced to become front-end. Think super-granular, affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for regulating unplanned-for R&D metrics? Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? We will synergize the term "turn-key". The aptitude to brand extensibly leads to the ability to evolve vertically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will intensify our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our capability to extend. Think ultra-super-sticky. 280 Group has revamped the abstraction of implementation. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be mission-critical? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. The angel investors factor is holistic. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral platforms and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The capacity to enable strategically leads to the capability to reinvent compellingly. Without preplanned synergies, applications are forced to become resource-constrained.