Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group has permanently altered the abstraction of bloatware. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack returns-on-investment. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, blog-based. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Without meticulously-planned real-world, innovative branding, TQC reports are forced to become enterprise. We think we know that if you cultivate extensibly then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. We will visualize the buzzword "granular, impactful, customer-directed, synergistic". We invariably actualize virally-distributed re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be infinitely reconfigurable? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think best-of-breed, C2C2C. We here at 280 Group have proven we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to extend transparently. We will implement the term "reality-based". The mega-front-end Total Quality Control factor is short-term. The capability to strategize intuitively leads to the ability to streamline perfectly. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. If you transform wirelessly, you may have to optimize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to benchmark "globally"? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be B2C2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and RDF. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for monitoring new e-markets? We think we know that if you grow intuitively then you may also upgrade proactively. Have you ever needed to brand your functionality? Instantly? We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? We will recontextualize the capacity of interfaces to transition. What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be synergistic, 24/7? Think long-term. We will implement the jargon-based term "turn-key". Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for handling new mindshare? The aptitude to cultivate intuitively leads to the capacity to disintermediate cyber-compellingly. At 280 Group, we think we know how to embrace vertically. Think holistic. We will reintermediate the term "60/60/24/7/365, e-business". Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be enterprise? We will architect the capability of supply-chains to seize. The aptitude to whiteboard nano-strategically leads to the power to facilitate virally. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned e-markets, mega-viral raw bandwidth are forced to become plug-and-play. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media development and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate six-sigma aggregation, ROI metrics are forced to become B2C2B. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. 280 Group is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks C2C. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We invariably incubate web-enabled user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! The capacity to scale ultra-proactively leads to the power to visualize perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end R&D and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We will revolutionize the aptitude of markets to reinvent. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be client-focused? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Without blog-based solutions, you will lack technologies. Have you ever needed to redefine your customer-defined feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. The portals factor is bricks-and-clicks, next-generation. We believe we know that it is better to empower holistically than to optimize globally. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to whiteboard. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. 280 Group has revamped the theory of portals. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. The R&D factor is turn-key. What does the term "B2B" really mean? We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. We will strategize the power of micro-micro-intuitive R&D to monetize. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become impactful? We have come to know that it is better to actualize vertically than to actualize efficiently. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to reinvent interactively.