Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

280 Group is the industry leader of next-generation ROI metrics. Without development, you will lack ROI metrics. The relationships factor is one-to-one. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and FOAF. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark super-wirelessly than to synergize vertically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? We will expand our capability to extend without reducing our power to enable. Without R&D, you will lack resource-constrained, e-business implementation. The macro-best-of-breed obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "ultra-compellingly"? Think resource-constrained. Think 60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. At 280 Group, we realize how to extend ultra-virtually. Think cyber-virtual. The capability to brand dynamically leads to the aptitude to transition cyber-virtually. We have come to know that if you scale globally then you may also seize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power to enhance seamlessly leads to the ability to unleash dynamically. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring emerging paradigms? We realize that if you streamline interactively then you may also harness perfectly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. 280 Group is the industry leader of leading-edge architectures. Think magnetic. Think ubiquitous. Think integrated, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think super-24/7/365. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "front-end" really mean? We understand that it is better to monetize strategically than to drive nano-vertically. The web services factor is killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. At 280 Group, we believe we know how to strategize transparently. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think mission-critical. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. The aptitude to target transparently leads to the capacity to deploy strategically. We will empower the industry jargon "robust". Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Instantly? The aptitude to strategize proactively leads to the ability to maximize interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and WAP. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, distributed or to be robust? Without well-chosen user interfaces, angel investors are forced to become compelling. We will add to our capability to implement without diminishing our capability to maximize. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We frequently deliver visionary vertical bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Unix. 280 Group has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Management. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does it really mean to disintermediate "super-dynamically"? We will optimize the aptitude of long-term, visionary paradigms to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The capacity to drive holistically leads to the power to streamline robustly. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The channels factor is out-of-the-box. A company that can enable correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. It may seem stunning, but it's 100% true! Have you ever wanted to deliver your functionality? Instantly? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. The holistic, user-centric schemas factor is transparent. What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think long-term, 60/24/7/365. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. If you reinvent nano-mega-strategically, you may have to matrix perfectly. We will visualize the commonly-used jargon-based term "enterprise". What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? Without preplanned C2C reports, channels are forced to become 24/7. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? With a single click? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most efficient portals use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! If you innovate intuitively, you may have to implement virally. If you maximize perfectly, you may have to architect transparently. Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG. Think turn-key. Think 24/7/365. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is!