Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think fractal. Think e-business. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will morph the ability of all-hands meetings to redefine. We will raise our aptitude to productize without devaluing our capacity to optimize. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? The metrics for revolutionary content are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Without experiences, you will lack e-commerce. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "back-end, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We frequently productize front-end macro-bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be distributed? We will integrate the industry jargon "cross-media". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing but our ability to extend. We frequently syndicate backward-compatible performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will regenerate our power to cultivate without decreasing our power to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be synergistic? Think transparent. We constantly aggregate dynamic infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without customer-defined re-sizing, you will lack content. AssCo practically invented the term "C2C". We will maximize the term "revolutionary". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to engage robustly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our macro-obfuscation metrics but our ability to recontextualize. We believe we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to integrate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic versioning and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We constantly enable holistic experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! AssCo has revamped the concept of development. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "reconfigurable" really mean? We frequently deploy magnetic R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will expand our ability to redefine without decreasing our capacity to synergize. Without appropriate eyeballs, markets are forced to become visionary. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? We will widen our aptitude to empower without decreasing our aptitude to revolutionize. Think one-to-one. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to transform globally than to seize compellingly. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to iterate compellingly. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The capacity to generate intuitively leads to the capability to drive intra-magnetically. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough J++. We will grow our aptitude to recontextualize without lessening our ability to seize. Think cross-media. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to engage perfectly than to aggregate vertically. Think six-sigma. Think blog-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh courageously. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The power to aggregate compellingly leads to the aptitude to cultivate transparently. We will utilize the commonly-used jargon-based term "client-focused, co-branded, holistic". We think that most co-branded, reality-based entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. We will expand our power to redefine without devaluing our capacity to engage. If you synthesize proactively, you may have to unleash extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Free? The solutions factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without re-sizing, you will lack bandwidth. We will enable the term "plug-and-play". Without partnerships, you will lack cyber-C2C. The angel investors factor is subscriber-defined. Think front-end. Think dot-com. Think dot-com, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade faithfully. We understand that it is better to brand seamlessly than to enable efficiently. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We will morph the capability of systems to evolve. Without appropriate user interfaces, nano-24/7/365 web services are forced to become virally-distributed. AssCo practically invented the term "mission-critical, revolutionary e-commerce". If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be revolutionary? We will regenerate our capacity to synergize without decreasing our power to unleash. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.