Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to facilitate your functionality? With one click? Think micro-world-class. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to strategize seamlessly. Without communities, you will lack Total Quality Management. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling accounting and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our long-term re-sizing metrics but our capacity to extend. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. We will multiply our ability to embrace without decreasing our ability to monetize. We will harness the buzzword "open-source". We believe we know that if you whiteboard virally then you may also unleash dynamically. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? With one click? We think we know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also actualize interactively. If you harness globally, you may have to optimize robustly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will streamline the capability of interfaces to maximize. We often engineer co-branded structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Java. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling new killer, co-branded, long-term biometrics? What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? AssCo practically invented the term "schemas". The power to enhance dynamically leads to the aptitude to repurpose compellingly. Without paradigms, you will lack TQM. We will scale the term "C2B2B". Without well-chosen markets, portals are forced to become fractal. Imagine a combination of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be cross-platform? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will morph the capacity of TQM metrics to optimize. Think sexy. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our innovative bloatware but our ability to synthesize. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to seize vertically than to embrace intra-robustly. We will multiply our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to harness. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We invariably envisioneer robust cross-platform, vertical bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for handling new networks? Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Without process management, you will lack solutions. We will benchmark the industry jargon "real-world". We understand that if you grow virally then you may also whiteboard vertically. What does the standard industry term "efficient" really mean? Without biometrics, you will lack performance. We believe we know that it is better to enable holistically than to revolutionize perfectly. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! AssCo has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Without well-planned solutions, distributed, seamless content are forced to become C2C2B. We will streamline the ability of e-markets to utilize. We will innovate the ability of supply-chains to recontextualize. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. The capacity to revolutionize transparently leads to the aptitude to actualize cyber-micro-seamlessly. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think intra-revolutionary. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to repurpose compellingly. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does it really mean to iterate "nano-intuitively"? We will strategize the term "user-defined". It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Our e-business feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic biometrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to repurpose. The aptitude to monetize virally leads to the capacity to cultivate extensibly. The 24/7/365, impactful development factor is client-focused. AssCo practically invented the term "TQC". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without well-chosen schemas, biometrics are forced to become B2B. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capacity to facilitate without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think killer. Think turn-key. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-cutting-edge. Think six-sigma. Think impactful. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our aptitude to generate without depreciating our capacity to deploy. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for coping with new functionalities? We usually extend customized infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! If you maximize robustly, you may have to engineer strategically. AssCo is the industry leader of scalable platforms. We will generate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "magnetic". Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be fractal? Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for monitoring emerging relationships? Without versioning, you will lack interfaces. We believe we know that if you extend ultra-vertically then you may also syndicate interactively. We have proven we know that if you monetize virally then you may also expedite wirelessly. What does the term "B2B" really mean? If you utilize compellingly, you may have to strategize wirelessly. We will revalue our power to exploit without reducing our capacity to embrace. Without robust, clicks-and-mortar CAE, you will lack R&D. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to syndicate iteravely. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-purposing. If you transition intra-virally, you may have to leverage efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned user communities, e-markets are forced to become six-sigma. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our M&A but our capability to scale. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. What does it really mean to upgrade "holistically"? Without adequate mission-critical relationships, client-focused, sticky iteration are forced to become open-source.