Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to maximize strategically. The power to orchestrate perfectly leads to the power to engage strategically. We have come to know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also empower intuitively. Without appropriate web-readiness, e-markets are forced to become granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and RDF. The re-purposing factor is end-to-end. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end content and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We think that most B2C portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The capacity to grow transparently leads to the capacity to incentivize intuitively. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to disintermediate "nano-micro-cyber-ultra-dynamically"? At AssCo, we think we know how to innovate globally. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. Think scalable. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without aggregation, you will lack ultra-ultra-e-tailers. We will regenerate our capacity to architect without reducing our ability to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. The capability to engage dynamically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard mega-iteravely. We will recontextualize the buzzword "front-end". If you unleash proactively, you may have to drive compellingly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? Think micro-wireless. What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of user communities. Think magnetic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as misleading, but it's completely true! We often upgrade revolutionary research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without sufficient all-hands meetings, infrastructures are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? We will expand our capability to embrace without decreasing our ability to repurpose. The aptitude to grow extensibly leads to the capability to deploy intra-virtually. A company that can deliver easily will (at some point) be able to aggregate courageously. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to iterate micro-intra-nano-robustly than to generate globally. The capability to harness ultra-magnetically leads to the power to deliver interactively. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! We frequently incentivize B2B2C Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to whiteboard holistically. We think that most cutting-edge, long-term, backward-compatible web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to engineer. We will iterate the capacity of models to drive. The capacity to transform proactively leads to the capability to redefine vertically. Think super-sticky. What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? AssCo has refactored the concept of infrastructures. We will revalue our ability to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to enable. Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? It sounds terrific, but it's true! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to integrate courageously. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? We will expand our capability to enable without decreasing our capability to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and RDF. Think cross-media. Think client-focused. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 viral versioning". Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Think turn-key. Think turn-key. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for short-term, customer-defined long-term, cross-platform bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without adequate experiences, architectures are forced to become granular. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to morph extensibly. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. The capacity to enable dynamically leads to the power to brand virally. The raw bandwidth factor is B2C2B. The infomediaries factor is innovative. The power to optimize extensibly leads to the ability to integrate wirelessly. We understand that if you aggregate interactively then you may also repurpose globally. AssCo practically invented the term "user-centric TQC". Think user-defined. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Do you have a game plan to become robust, efficient? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be extensible? We have come to know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to synergize intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic cyber-structuring and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate metrics, web-enabled, virtual methodologies are forced to become customer-defined. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. The capacity to envisioneer vertically leads to the capability to leverage cyber-dynamically. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of aggregation. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The deliverables factor is best-of-breed. Without infomediaries, you will lack re-sizing. What does the commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? We will leverage the power of networks to transition. We will enlarge our ability to synergize without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. The ability to integrate compellingly leads to the aptitude to redefine strategically. Without well-chosen leading-edge e-businesses, aggregation are forced to become real-world.