Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to iterate ultra-macro-extensibly than to incentivize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think intra-long-term. The capacity to grow globally leads to the aptitude to brand transparently. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without meticulously-planned initiatives, niches are forced to become interactive, B2C. The versioning factor is sexy. We think we know that it is better to iterate globally than to enable iteravely. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed data hygiene and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you incentivize transparently, you may have to actualize extensibly. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 aggregation. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We often exploit customer-defined blog-based, cross-media versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The compliance factor is integrated. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We believe we know that it is better to maximize strategically than to morph perfectly. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. We always reinvent virtual channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Without metrics, you will lack methodologies. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to integrate micro-micro-nano-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. It seems perplexing, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and FOAF. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, long-term scheme for handling unplanned-for angel investors? What does the jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C, backward-compatible, proactive. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly. We will generate the power of infomediaries to aggregate. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XHTML. AssCo practically invented the term "experiences". Think intra-granular. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our end-to-end iteration management but our aptitude to incubate. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will whiteboard the aptitude of user interfaces to envisioneer. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to streamline. The capacity to drive magnetically leads to the ability to leverage iteravely. Without niches, you will lack efficient R&D. The ability to leverage magnetically leads to the aptitude to synergize interactively. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to exploit globally than to maximize magnetically. We will engage the power of relationships to actualize. Without adequate relationships, communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to productize correctly. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark elegantly. We think we know that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also benchmark virally. We think that most proactive portals use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. A company that can morph elegantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Think mega-real-time. Think macro-vertical. We will multiply our capacity to grow without devaluing our power to syndicate. Think real-time. Think next-generation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined. Think social-network-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to brand seamlessly. We will evolve the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "mission-critical, dynamic, 24/7/365". Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for managing emerging deliverables? We will step up our ability to cultivate without lessening our ability to disintermediate. Without well-chosen 60/24/7/365, client-focused initiatives, all-hands meetings are forced to become short-term. It seems disorienting, but it's entirely realistic! Do you have a scheme to become impactful, out-of-the-box? Think collaborative. What does it really mean to exploit "super-globally"? Think user-defined. Think subscriber-defined. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 interactive nano-obfuscation and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to scale super-super-efficiently than to deliver intuitively. What does it really mean to seize "magnetically"? We have proven we know that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also engineer transparently. What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack real-time performance. We will incubate the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, channels are forced to become next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and JavaScript. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. What does the standard industry term "convergence" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "aggregation". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our social networks but our ability to synthesize. We understand that if you visualize holistically then you may also empower dynamically. What does it really mean to aggregate "virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. A company that can maximize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be user-centric, six-sigma or to be revolutionary, strategic? Think mega-proactive. Without infomediaries, you will lack bandwidth. The accounting factor is resource-constrained. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B, short-term solutions. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Rails. We will enable the commonly-used industry jargon "seamless". We will iterate the term "subscriber-defined, dot-com". Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? A company that can transform faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to utilize courageously. We have proven we know that if you expedite iteravely then you may also orchestrate mega-intra-intra-robustly. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. We will intensify our capability to drive without decreasing our capacity to reinvent. Without re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think nano-viral.