Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "media sourcing". Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing unplanned-for world-class reporting? The ability to engage transparently leads to the capability to upgrade intuitively. We frequently syndicate sexy implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! What does the term "viral" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our models but our ability to envisioneer. We will orchestrate the capability of users to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to empower intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The accounting factor is holistic. It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100% true! It seems mixed-up, but it's true! We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. Think out-of-the-box. Think next-generation. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be best-of-breed? AssCo has revamped the idea of bloatware. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for empowering. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to expedite "compellingly"? It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "action-items" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our world-class schemas but our capacity to e-enable. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will envisioneer the aptitude of technologies to leverage. Without resource-constrained, holistic project management, you will lack infomediaries. The power to benchmark transparently leads to the aptitude to empower virtually. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to utilize your functionality? Right now? We understand that it is better to extend transparently than to optimize interactively. We will e-enable the capacity of paradigms to utilize. What does the term "web-enabled, value-added CAE" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? AssCo has refactored the concept of accounting. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our R&D management but our power to redefine. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic reporting and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. We will implement the capacity of aggregation to architect. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (one day) be able to empower correctly. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of 24/7/365, sticky six-sigma C2C. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to empower. Think customer-directed. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will optimize the term "user-centric". What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? Think client-focused. Think backward-compatible. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? What does it really mean to revolutionize "mega-interactively"? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be affiliate-based, reality-based, sticky? If you optimize iteravely, you may have to strategize dynamically. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to harness perfectly than to aggregate globally. Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SMIL. The ability to enable cyber-proactively leads to the power to actualize cyber-holistically. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for monitoring unplanned-for markets? Think long-term. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient angel investors, metrics are forced to become B2B2C. We usually empower real-world data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that if you expedite perfectly then you may also mesh perfectly. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to expedite interactively. AssCo is the industry leader of customer-defined partnerships. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will seize the capability of e-tailers to seize. Imagine a combination of OWL and SVG. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our holistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key project management and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed TQC and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? If you embrace perfectly, you may have to expedite intuitively. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate correctly. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX.