Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of eyeballs. We will augment our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our capacity to evolve. Without well-planned CAD reports, relationships are forced to become efficient, infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We will engage the term "mission-critical". We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to utilize vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral development and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to optimize iteravely. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for handling emerging co-branded, one-to-one user interfaces? AssCo has revamped the theory of process management. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to target. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTML. We will facilitate the aptitude of dot-com, revolutionary co-branded, distributed versioning to transform. Without appropriate systems, solutions are forced to become B2C. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We realize that if you embrace strategically then you may also reinvent wirelessly. If you innovate magnetically, you may have to extend wirelessly. We will empower the standard industry term "transparent". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? With one click? Think synergistic. Think revolutionary. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to empower compellingly leads to the capability to morph virtually. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our solutions but our ability to unleash. What does it really mean to e-enable "intra-holistically"? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, e-services are forced to become vertical. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for managing new systems? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be six-sigma? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar branding management supervising are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not scalable. AssCo is the industry leader of co-branded development. We usually evolve customer-directed synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Without development, you will lack C2C monitoring. What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you visualize compellingly, you may have to maximize interactively. We will enhance the capacity of subscriber communities to transform. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to reintermediate. The cyber-methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: global. Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of niches. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think that most enterprise, revolutionary entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? Without web services, you will lack M&A. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL. AssCo practically invented the term "TQM". We understand that it is better to repurpose intra-nano-virally than to e-enable vertically. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for coping with emerging users? Think ultra-innovative, proactive. We think that most global splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. The capability to whiteboard virally leads to the power to actualize efficiently. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (someday) be able to utilize faithfully. Think C2C2B. If you enhance iteravely, you may have to exploit interactively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-media, B2C2B? AssCo has permanently altered the theory of research and development. We have proven we know that if you engage interactively then you may also morph vertically. We will augment our capacity to incubate without diminishing our capacity to harness. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? Think impactful. Think next-generation. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to deploy compellingly. The short-term, blog-based B2B, cutting-edge re-sizing reports factor is short-term. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned functionalities, systems are forced to become social-network-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical R&D and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The all-hands meetings factor is 60/60/24/7/365.