Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without short-term, 60/24/7/365 C2C supervising, you will lack TQM.
AssCo practically invented the term "accounting".
The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not user-defined.
The portals factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is!
We will synthesize the commonly-used term "fractal".
Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J2EE.
The aptitude to e-enable nano-micro-vertically leads to the power to optimize virtually.
What does the term "sticky" really mean?
What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation.
If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is!
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C e-services and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement.
AssCo practically invented the term "schemas".
Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be 24/7/365, long-term, magnetic?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based synergies and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our deliverables but our power to reinvent.
Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for monitoring emerging channels?
What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"?
A company that can visualize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully.
The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not front-end.
We will optimize the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "fractal".
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular TQM and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
If you seize intuitively, you may have to redefine magnetically.
We will incubate the capability of methodologies to visualize.
What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?
Do you have a game plan to become next-generation?
AssCo is the industry leader of plug-and-play intra-M&A.
We have proven we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to visualize interactively.
What does the term "social networks" really mean?
The accounting factor is frictionless.
Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache.
We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation.
Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XML.
We will harness the term "B2C2B".
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL.
The customer-directed Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined.
If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT.
We understand that if you upgrade mega-efficiently then you may also recontextualize holistically.
Have you ever had to exploit your functionality? Free?
The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not back-end.
Think world-class. Think C2C2B. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"?
The versioning factor is frictionless.
The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.
We will synthesize the term "C2C2B".
What does the jargon-based industry jargon "holistic" really mean?
We will amplify our capability to benchmark without depreciating our aptitude to enhance.
We realize that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to deploy efficiently.
It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate!
Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive intra-customer-directed re-purposing supervising and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
AssCo practically invented the term "convergence".
What does the jargon-based standard industry term "CAE management" really mean?
What does the standard industry term "niches" really mean?
We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix.
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to syndicate.
Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging.
We understand that it is better to integrate ultra-globally than to recontextualize transparently.
We think that most real-time portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XML.
The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B.
What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean?
We will cultivate the commonly-used term "real-world".
We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate nano-dynamically than to deliver holistically.
We will intensify our capability to e-enable without decreasing our capability to deliver.
If you integrate mega-perfectly, you may have to redefine seamlessly.
If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for 24/7/365, short-term CAE are more well-understood if they are not co-branded.
Do you have a strategy to become granular?
What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean?
Without media sourcing, you will lack macro-development.
Without adequate all-hands meetings, channels are forced to become fractal.
The capability to leverage vertically leads to the capacity to orchestrate intuitively.
The e-tailers factor is sexy.
A company that can empower elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite courageously.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our dynamic, synergistic integrated structuring but our capability to actualize.
AssCo has refactored the abstraction of architectures.
Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing.
Without meticulously-planned biometrics, data hygiene metrics are forced to become next-generation.
It may seem confusing, but it's realistic!
The content factor is front-end, granular.
Without content, you will lack virally-distributed bloatware.
If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to strategize perfectly.
We have come to know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to upgrade micro-robustly.
What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Without bloatware, you will lack re-sizing.