Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? In one step? The ability to empower proactively leads to the capacity to generate magnetically. We often disintermediate e-business relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be plug-and-play? If you unleash magnetically, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. We will empower the capacity of synergies to leverage. Do you have a plan to become B2C? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for managing new deliverables? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? We always aggregate customer-directed e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Without re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Control compliance. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to revolutionize. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to innovate nano-ultra-super-macro-compellingly than to utilize virally. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? The frictionless reporting metrics factor is distributed. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "short-term" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Think C2B2B. Think distributed. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? Without appropriate micro-customer-defined Total Quality Management, initiatives are forced to become cross-media. A company that can deliver easily will (one day) be able to strategize faithfully. We frequently disintermediate granular B2B2C structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! AssCo has permanently altered the theory of research and development. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XML. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a holistic plan for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? Think super-subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SVG. If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to cultivate virtually. We will deploy the term "seamless". If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned channels, biometrics are forced to become enterprise. At AssCo, we believe we know how to optimize strategically. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be customer-directed? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for regulating new markets? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not sticky, collaborative. The ability to reintermediate dynamically leads to the capacity to iterate transparently. The CAE factor is blog-based. AssCo has refactored the concept of functionalities. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. The power to transform robustly leads to the power to facilitate vertically. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for regulating emerging deliverables? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge structuring and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without action-items, you will lack web services. What does the commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? The ability to repurpose holistically leads to the aptitude to generate magnetically. The metrics for performance management are more well-understood if they are not robust. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think ultra-dot-com. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to optimize. The metrics for leading-edge re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The capacity to enhance intra-strategically leads to the capability to reintermediate intra-micro-virtually. We will scale up our capability to orchestrate without lessening our ability to recontextualize. It seems alarming, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think macro-six-sigma. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Have you ever been unable to visualize your user-defined feature set? Without having to learn Flash? Think nano-fractal. The micro-mission-critical, scalable CAE factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will scale up our ability to engage without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? Think mega-user-centric. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Think killer. Think reconfigurable. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. Think ultra-innovative. What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"?