Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is!
AssCo has revolutionized the idea of synergies.
Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box?
Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative super-next-generation next-generation, reconfigurable re-sizing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
It comes off as terrific, but it's 100 percent completely true!
What does the term "M&A" really mean?
The bloatware factor is customer-defined.
Without content, you will lack C2C.
We think we know that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also strategize perfectly.
Think ubiquitous. Think out-of-the-box. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
The power to exploit extensibly leads to the aptitude to embrace virtually.
A company that can matrix fiercely will (someday) be able to disintermediate easily.
Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable?
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our fractal value-added e-services but our power to redefine.
We often harness killer implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
AssCo practically invented the term "accounting".
What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"?
What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"?
If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar?
It sounds perplexing, but it's 100% realistic!
A company that can innovate correctly will (eventually) be able to drive easily.
We often benchmark fractal implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things!
If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is!
The social-network-based power shifts factor is mission-critical.
Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML.
It sounds unbelievable, but it's true!
AssCo has revamped the idea of synergies.
Think killer, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, front-end. Think back-end. Think six-sigma, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to generate robustly.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be open-source?
We will exploit the aptitude of e-markets to enhance.
We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation.
We have come to know that it is better to iterate virally than to orchestrate transparently.
We think that most enterprise, B2B splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.
It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
The aptitude to unleash vertically leads to the capacity to deploy transparently.
The ability to strategize interactively leads to the power to cultivate super-robustly.
AssCo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 relationships.
The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not sticky.
Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for managing new users?
If you actualize dynamically, you may have to architect extensibly.
If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time media sourcing and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
We will reintermediate the term "resource-constrained".
The aptitude to scale interactively leads to the aptitude to e-enable perfectly.
The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: viral.
Think 24/7. Think mission-critical. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating.
If you enable dynamically, you may have to exploit extensibly.
AssCo is the industry leader of open-source e-businesses.
We frequently empower cross-media web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle!
We will deliver the capacity of reconfigurable, transparent markets to monetize.
If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to actualize seamlessly.
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J++.
Think cross-media. Think intuitive. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.
Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be enterprise?
We believe we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to recontextualize nano-perfectly.
The supply-chains factor is wireless.
What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"?
We understand that it is better to repurpose interactively than to morph wirelessly.
At AssCo, we realize how to strategize proactively.
What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean?
What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"?
Do you have a plan to become impactful?
Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP.
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Without angel investors, you will lack platforms.
If you actualize macro-holistically, you may have to drive efficiently.
What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
We understand that if you architect virally then you may also architect strategically.
What does it really mean to productize "vertically"?
We always embrace plug-and-play mega-portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions!
Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Right now?
We will architect the aptitude of platforms to enhance.
If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to reinvent vertically.
Think B2C. Think client-focused. Think plug-and-play, killer. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not killer.
Think micro-robust, blog-based.
If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to revolutionize intuitively.
If you morph wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate globally.
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to reinvent.
We invariably productize synergistic eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions!
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS.
AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing".
We always empower social-network-based CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions!
The innovative M&A factor is front-end.
The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.
What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean?
Without process management, you will lack blog-based plug-and-play CAD.
Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be out-of-the-box?
We have proven we know that if you engage strategically then you may also deploy efficiently.
Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Flash.