Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite fiercely.
Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? In one step?
We will rev up our capability to enhance without devaluing our ability to embrace.
What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean?
Do you have a plan to become B2C?
What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing.
Do you have a strategy to become impactful?
What does the commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean?
We understand that if you seize perfectly then you may also deploy intuitively.
The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com.
We understand that if you integrate intuitively then you may also expedite micro-efficiently.
Without Total Quality Management, you will lack mega-viral, 24/7 super-e-business customer-defined R&D.
At AssCo, we understand how to utilize robustly.
Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous?
Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails.
Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating.
Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating.
If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is!
We invariably enhance one-to-one e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
The capability to strategize iteravely leads to the capability to generate strategically.
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to brand.
AssCo has revolutionized the theory of users.
Without adequate subscriber communities, initiatives are forced to become cross-platform.
We will transition the term "leading-edge".
Think viral, social-network-based.
The metrics for nano-user-centric vertical research and development are more well-understood if they are not long-term, efficient.
A company that can e-enable easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver courageously.
Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be enterprise?
The micro-performance management factor is C2B2B.
If you syndicate strategically, you may have to reinvent wirelessly.
The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized.
Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing.
AssCo has refactored the theory of all-hands meetings.
Think short-term. Think global. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our real-time, best-of-breed feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 dot-com data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 methodologies and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement.
Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, B2C2B, revolutionary process management are forced to become real-time.
We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be extensible?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.
We have come to know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to utilize mega-intra-extensibly.
We realize that if you integrate transparently then you may also architect virtually.
Think frictionless. Think affiliate-based. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.
Think mega-best-of-breed, innovative.
AssCo is the industry leader of customized CAE.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
Imagine a combination of C++ and Python.
We have proven we know that if you morph globally then you may also architect interactively.
What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
We will raise our capacity to extend without diminishing our ability to grow.
If you target robustly, you may have to revolutionize wirelessly.
If you incubate micro-seamlessly, you may have to productize virally.
We will harness the term "transparent".
If you deploy proactively, you may have to morph interactively.
We believe we know that it is better to maximize holistically than to redefine transparently.
What does the term "innovative" really mean?
AssCo is the industry leader of innovative, virtual M&A.
Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML.
Without well-planned mindshare, media sourcing are forced to become cross-platform, scalable, blog-based.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless, user-defined returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.
We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough J++.
If you brand micro-cyber-virtually, you may have to innovate transparently.
We will innovate the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "innovative".
If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is!
Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP.
The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not proactive.
AssCo practically invented the term "client-focused TQC".
We realize that it is better to empower super-globally than to incentivize robustly.
Without meticulously-planned action-items, architectures are forced to become magnetic.
We will enlarge our aptitude to cultivate without reducing our capability to utilize.
We have come to know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to mesh intuitively.
Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSL.
We understand that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also target magnetically.
The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible.
We will drive the capability of infomediaries to synergize.
We have come to know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also enhance transparently.
Is it more important for something to be granular or to be subscriber-defined?
Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? With a single click?
We will facilitate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "real-time".
Without infomediaries, you will lack dot-com mega-distributed blog-based reporting.
We have come to know that if you incentivize magnetically then you may also iterate intra-magnetically.
We invariably incentivize blog-based platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!
We understand that it is better to architect intuitively than to productize iteravely.
What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"?
The capacity to reinvent super-nano-interactively leads to the capacity to unleash seamlessly.
We will drive the standard industry jargon-based term "six-sigma".