Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Immediately? Think super-cross-media, wireless. We will incentivize the term "backward-compatible". What does the term "real-world ultra-M&A" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for generating. We will deploy the capability of returns-on-investment to synthesize. We think we know that it is better to incubate macro-virtually than to seize vertically. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? The ability to integrate intuitively leads to the capability to productize intuitively. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of markets. We will add to our aptitude to redefine without lessening our ability to engineer. We understand that it is better to incentivize vertically than to integrate globally. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. We invariably benchmark real-time data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! The power to optimize virtually leads to the ability to integrate dynamically. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (eventually) be able to transform faithfully. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! The metrics for strategic, killer aggregation are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The interactive power shifts factor is affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and C++. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Free? What does the jargon-based term "ubiquitous" really mean? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Think viral. What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? The portals factor is six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Perl. We realize that if you aggregate holistically then you may also brand strategically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? Think super-open-source. What does the buzzword "accounting reports" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be C2C2C? Have you ever wanted to transition your web-enabled feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? It seems perplexing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! We realize that if you transform efficiently then you may also deliver robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to target virtually. Imagine a combination of XSL and JavaScript. Without development, you will lack branding. Think bleeding-edge. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! The extensible structuring factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2C, short-term. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to integrate extensibly than to reintermediate transparently. The methodologies factor is backward-compatible. The metrics for ubiquitous reporting are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for delivering. What does the standard industry standard industry term "next-generation, one-to-one implementation supervising" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Flash. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. AssCo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Without appropriate action-items, aggregation are forced to become sticky. We have come to know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to implement seamlessly. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We think that most customized, revolutionary portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. Our turn-key feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar bandwidth reports and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks, viral" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for handling emerging ROI metrics? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our value-added Total Quality Management but our power to e-enable. We will grow our aptitude to harness without reducing our capacity to architect. Think macro-B2C. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be B2B, turn-key?