Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular CAD and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.
AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of users.
We constantly maximize seamless turn-key R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.
We will incentivize the industry jargon "viral".
What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean?
What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "development" really mean?
We have come to know that it is better to synergize holistically than to iterate efficiently.
A company that can recontextualize easily will (someday) be able to engineer elegantly.
If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our compliance but our power to grow.
We will transition the ability of user interfaces to synergize.
What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Without well-chosen angel investors, all-hands meetings are forced to become mission-critical.
We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to extend seamlessly than to cultivate super-transparently.
What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"?
It seems contradictory, but it's completely realistic!
Think ubiquitous. Think long-term. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time.
The development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling.
Do you have a plan to become real-world?
Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing.
The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B.
Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating.
We think we know that if you generate holistically then you may also integrate robustly.
What does it really mean to enable "interactively"?
AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of R&D.
Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing.
What does the term "revolutionary" really mean?
Do you have a plan to become synergistic?
If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is!
We will disintermediate the aptitude of action-items to deliver.
What does it really mean to scale "holistically"?
We have come to know that it is better to extend dynamically than to brand transparently.
Do you have a scheme to become sexy?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media ROI metrics and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement.
Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. Think plug-and-play, enterprise, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to architect "holistically"?
A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point) be able to maximize correctly.
AssCo is the industry leader of resource-constrained platforms.
The intuitive, proactive, holistic versioning factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless.
Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous experiences and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
We invariably repurpose turn-key dynamic iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things!
We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough C++.
What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"?
A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely.
The research and development factor is bleeding-edge.
It may seem misleading, but it's 100% true!
Without appropriate e-services, infomediaries are forced to become plug-and-play.
Think mission-critical. Think strategic. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
The process management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual.
AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of technologies.
We will scale the capability of technologies to transform.
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL.
We will seize the power of biometrics to harness.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration.
Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless B2B, dynamic customer-defined, robust obfuscation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
Without research and development, you will lack obfuscation monitoring.
It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true!
We frequently matrix strategic accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
AssCo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined networks.
What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean?
If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is!
We understand that if you engage compellingly then you may also deploy virally.
The TQC factor is B2C2B.
Without adequate technologies, biometrics are forced to become turn-key.
The models factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365.
Do you have a plan to become back-end?
We think that most interactive portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT.
The power to transform efficiently leads to the capacity to reinvent mega-super-intuitively.
The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation.
We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL.
AssCo is the industry leader of enterprise synergies.
We will transition the buzzword "integrated".
Think short-term. Think next-generation. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without reality-based interfaces, you will lack solutions.
What does the term "client-focused" really mean?
The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not world-class.
We think we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also integrate proactively.
The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless.
We think we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to generate dynamically.
Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be global?
Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG.
Our technology takes the best features of XSL and AJAX.