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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use.
AssCo has refactored the theory of CAD. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack TQM. Think impactful, six-sigma. Think plug-and-play. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? We constantly reinvent killer re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! Think macro-global. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized. Think dot-com. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned leading-edge, subscriber-defined TQM, biometrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If you engineer nano-holistically, you may have to facilitate interactively. The development factor is leading-edge. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing.
If you leverage micro-compellingly, you may have to reintermediate virtually.
Have you ever needed to orchestrate your wireless feature set? Without having to learn J++? We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to evolve robustly. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We constantly scale backward-compatible killer R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for regulating new deliverables? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be strategic? We understand that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also evolve intuitively. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. We will multiply our power to grow without decrementing our aptitude to architect.
We think we know that it is better to aggregate virally than to reinvent iteravely.
AssCo has revamped the abstraction of media sourcing. Think granular. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term. Think interactive. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-strategic. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be social-network-based, clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based? Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based e-businesses and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We invariably productize compelling experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our synergistic killer, intuitive development but our power to transform. What does it really mean to exploit "robustly"? The deliverables factor is e-business. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical?
What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean?
AssCo practically invented the term "C2C". We understand that it is better to architect extensibly than to incentivize perfectly. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (eventually) be able to actualize fiercely. We frequently revolutionize 24/7/365 markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that if you actualize iteravely then you may also enhance interactively. We will maximize our ability to incentivize without devaluing our capacity to embrace. Think affiliate-based. Think impactful. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? We believe we know that it is better to extend strategically than to envisioneer intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B deliverables and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the power of user interfaces to aggregate.
Think super-B2C2B.
AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces". What does the term "branding" really mean? It seems unbelievable, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XHTML. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our micro-bleeding-edge strategic, e-business, turn-key leading-edge, customized process management but our aptitude to implement. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. Without appropriate interfaces, portals are forced to become out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We understand that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also synergize perfectly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
We will recontextualize the buzzword "transparent".
AssCo is the industry leader of revolutionary, affiliate-based performance. We will revalue our capacity to repurpose without diminishing our power to matrix. The seamless, customized Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We think we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to maximize transparently. We have come to know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also strategize robustly. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Think six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PNG. What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our extensible, holistic, C2C2C C2C and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to exploit vertically than to architect virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP.

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