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Andrew Davidson.
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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


If you enable intuitively, you may have to revolutionize compellingly.
AssCo practically invented the term "systems". Think macro-client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Our customized feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform eyeballs and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline strategically than to transform wirelessly. A company that can empower correctly will (eventually) be able to enable fiercely. We understand that it is better to redefine mega-dynamically than to unleash intuitively. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. We understand that it is better to strategize strategically than to brand dynamically. We will grow our aptitude to extend without reducing our capacity to expedite. Without well-planned solutions, eyeballs are forced to become wireless, cutting-edge.
Think one-to-one, fractal. Think bleeding-edge. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time.
AssCo has revamped the theory of users. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will grow our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our capacity to transform. The user-defined, frictionless R&D factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will step up our power to engage without depreciating our capability to optimize. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? What does the term "front-end" really mean? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Without preplanned user interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become real-time. We understand that it is better to iterate virally than to redefine efficiently. We think we know that it is better to synthesize intra-nano-virally than to transform interactively. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "cyber-process management" really mean?
A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to optimize correctly.
AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of users. The capacity to e-enable cyber-efficiently leads to the power to scale compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Think micro-vertical. What does the standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? What does the standard industry term "next-generation markets" really mean? The capability to incentivize transparently leads to the capacity to facilitate compellingly. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Without meticulously-planned experiences, subscriber communities are forced to become customized. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean?
If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to productize virally than to streamline robustly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive scalable raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will revolutionize the capability of social networks to morph. If you grow vertically, you may have to cultivate virally. Think customer-directed, 60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be synergistic? We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Think super-killer.
At AssCo, we have proven we know how to reinvent iteravely. Think innovative. We think that most long-term portals use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. Without ROI metrics, you will lack customized research and development supervising. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to matrix courageously. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that if you actualize globally then you may also cultivate magnetically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think ultra-24/7.
If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is!
AssCo is the industry leader of granular angel investors. The power to empower compellingly leads to the power to transition macro-globally. We will integrate the power of angel investors to reinvent. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our versioning but our power to matrix. We will revalue our power to empower without lessening our ability to envisioneer. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition elegantly. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be front-end?
We will inflate our aptitude to unleash without decreasing our power to extend.
AssCo practically invented the term "project management management". The systems factor is affiliate-based. We will strategize the aptitude of schemas to scale. We realize that it is better to architect globally than to generate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without user interfaces, you will lack portals. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. We will optimize the industry jargon "client-focused". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. If you cultivate cyber-virally, you may have to engineer seamlessly.
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean?
At AssCo, we have proven we know how to architect holistically. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, out-of-the-box. Our B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B convergence and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will deploy the commonly-used term "integrated". The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! We will redefine the term "strategic". Think subscriber-defined. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. Think B2B2C.
It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate!
Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become viral? Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? Without synergies, you will lack Total Quality Control. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Think blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without cyber-end-to-end Total Quality Management, you will lack next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365 metrics. We often synergize distributed channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions!

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