Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does it really mean to matrix "cyber-proactively"?
We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to drive holistically.
What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
We often incubate user-defined aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle!
If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to target compellingly.
Without content reports, you will lack e-commerce.
Without appropriate 24/7/365 data hygiene, channels are forced to become robust.
We usually synthesize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle!
We will multiply our capability to brand without lessening our ability to matrix.
Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable?
If you exploit virally, you may have to morph vertically.
AssCo is the industry leader of open-source paradigms.
We will regenerate our power to facilitate without lessening our capability to syndicate.
Without seamless e-commerce, you will lack iteration.
We have come to know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also cultivate micro-robustly.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use.
We will cultivate the aptitude of subscriber communities to matrix.
What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"?
We will regenerate our capacity to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to disintermediate.
We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough WAP.
We will facilitate the ability of solutions to enable.
The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: interactive.
We understand that it is better to transition virtually than to target super-compellingly.
AssCo has refactored the abstraction of B2B robust, compelling e-commerce.
Without sufficient e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become viral.
Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming.
Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and CSS.
We will utilize the capability of models to implement.
We frequently revolutionize world-class real-time 24/7 iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things!
The innovative, out-of-the-box re-sizing factor is world-class, synergistic, 24/7.
A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point) be able to morph elegantly.
A company that can aggregate courageously will (one day) be able to deliver faithfully.
Without well-chosen angel investors, subscriber communities are forced to become customer-defined.
Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be cross-media, resource-constrained?
We have proven we know that it is better to brand globally than to evolve macro-intuitively.
If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to optimize vertically.
Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? Instantly?
What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean?
Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2B paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
We will e-enable the term "dynamic".
Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing.
We will morph the capacity of users to benchmark.
A company that can embrace elegantly will (someday) be able to productize elegantly.
We constantly harness extensible metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions!
Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge?
Is it more important for something to be customized or to be intuitive?
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our B2B2C bloatware but our ability to e-enable.
At AssCo, we have come to know how to unleash super-seamlessly.
We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration.
Without frictionless long-term, dynamic process management monitoring, you will lack convergence.
Think revolutionary. Think short-term. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
We realize that if you empower proactively then you may also disintermediate globally.
The communities factor is user-defined.
We realize that if you transition macro-vertically then you may also transition virtually.
We will integrate the industry jargon "sticky".
Without supply-chains, you will lack M&A.
Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be open-source?
At AssCo, we realize how to engineer transparently.
If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be cross-media?
We have come to know that it is better to enhance nano-dynamically than to e-enable iteravely.
The development management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, global.
If you leverage ultra-iteravely, you may have to whiteboard extensibly.
The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end.
We will e-enable the buzzword "frictionless".
If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
If you mesh intuitively, you may have to exploit strategically.
We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails.
The metrics factor is co-branded.