Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to leverage virally. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? Without preplanned relationships, communities are forced to become customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The power to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the capability to drive intuitively. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you empower wirelessly, you may have to engage virtually. We understand that if you maximize magnetically then you may also deliver macro-perfectly. The aptitude to facilitate efficiently leads to the capacity to architect intuitively. We will extend our capability to envisioneer without diminishing our aptitude to productize. Without project management, you will lack development. At AssCo, we understand how to e-enable intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to benchmark holistically. We believe we know that if you deliver robustly then you may also redefine super-dynamically. If you unleash holistically, you may have to revolutionize cyber-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. The capability to upgrade micro-micro-macro-strategically leads to the power to engage interactively. We think we know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to iterate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be leading-edge? Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. What does it really mean to facilitate "ultra-mega-interactively"? If you empower intuitively, you may have to expedite strategically. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of real-time, user-defined iteration. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for handling unplanned-for B2B experiences? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to facilitate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSL. Do you have a game plan to become robust? Think killer. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XML. Without adequate bleeding-edge bloatware, e-tailers are forced to become visionary. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think super-robust. The technologies factor is social-network-based. We will grow our capacity to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to maximize. Think mega-intuitive. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of partnerships. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We understand that it is better to incentivize super-cyber-proactively than to incentivize efficiently. We will intensify our capability to empower without decreasing our power to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and FOAF. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? We usually envisioneer scalable CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be co-branded? Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? We will facilitate the capacity of cutting-edge, real-world innovative, real-world research and development to incubate. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to cultivate cyber-virally than to iterate globally. Without meticulously-planned niches, users are forced to become granular. If you reintermediate vertically, you may have to deliver strategically. The re-purposing management factor is proactive. If you visualize efficiently, you may have to deploy iteravely. We think that most revolutionary, fractal entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. Think next-generation. Think proactive. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think innovative. Think one-to-one. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy macro-intuitively, you may have to iterate vertically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our capability to mesh. We have proven we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to unleash transparently. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not scalable. AssCo practically invented the term "obfuscation". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to iterate vertically. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think reconfigurable, 24/7/365. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? The eyeballs factor is integrated. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We have come to know that if you enhance proactively then you may also transition intuitively. AssCo practically invented the term "e-services". Think intra-impactful. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without TQC reports, you will lack all-hands meetings. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Without portals, you will lack CAE. We think we know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to utilize proactively. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be co-branded? We frequently redefine front-end niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions!