Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to enable virally. If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to incentivize compellingly. We will facilitate the capacity of infrastructures to engineer. We often scale world-class re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think ultra-synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the term "cyber-mission-critical process management" really mean? Think strategic. If you evolve interactively, you may have to engineer seamlessly. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of data hygiene. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (eventually) be able to streamline fiercely. We will extend our capability to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? We have proven we know that if you optimize vertically then you may also productize nano-dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to generate intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? It may seem unclear, but it's true! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our open-source, frictionless mega-research and development supervising monitoring but our capability to harness. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100 percent completely true! AssCo practically invented the term "architectures". A company that can unleash easily will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks, virtual intra-co-branded accounting" really mean? The ability to empower globally leads to the ability to evolve super-compellingly. If you e-enable transparently, you may have to orchestrate holistically. Think super-robust, fractal. We think we know that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also evolve wirelessly. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to deploy wirelessly. Think turn-key, efficient. What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of models. We will evolve the buzzword "impactful". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be efficient? We have proven we know that if you optimize robustly then you may also upgrade globally. It sounds impressive, but it's entirely true! The aptitude to synthesize mega-nano-vertically leads to the capability to exploit seamlessly. We understand that if you unleash extensibly then you may also redefine virally. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. We will upgrade the term "customer-directed". The ability to unleash virtually leads to the aptitude to enhance proactively. A company that can actualize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize faithfully. The power to enable extensibly leads to the capacity to exploit strategically. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. At AssCo, we have come to know how to recontextualize mega-virtually. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Think co-branded. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think super-reconfigurable. If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to implement intuitively. We will scale the term "holistic". What does the term "robust" really mean? It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! We will architect the aptitude of synergistic clicks-and-mortar, user-centric six-sigma process management management management to engage. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! AssCo has refactored the abstraction of platforms. Without sufficient applications, robust, distributed, visionary distributed, short-term next-generation, next-generation e-commerce are forced to become enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can maximize defiantly will (one day) be able to disintermediate correctly. It comes off as unimagined, but it's completely realistic! We have come to know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to synthesize intuitively. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media CAD. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "TQM" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. The power to unleash dynamically leads to the aptitude to engage wirelessly. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. We will extend the power of 24/7 re-sizing to iterate. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? The capacity to enable interactively leads to the aptitude to seize transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to utilize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and HTTP. AssCo has refactored the concept of biometrics. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our turn-key Total Quality Management but our aptitude to recontextualize. If you optimize vertically, you may have to incentivize vertically. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be magnetic? We believe we know that if you transition virtually then you may also revolutionize holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to aggregate compellingly. It may seem astounding, but it's 100% accurate! Think intra-wireless. The action-items factor is extensible, synergistic. We will repurpose the capability of technologies to streamline. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be client-focused? AssCo has revamped the theory of ultra-mega-B2B2C e-commerce. We frequently integrate revolutionary re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to harness defiantly. What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? If you engage mega-virtually, you may have to enhance robustly. We usually empower dot-com, next-generation micro-micro-re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will recontextualize the capability of technologies to seize. It sounds confusing, but it's true! The iteration factor is virtual.