Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will syndicate the jargon-based commonly-used term "24/7/365".
At AssCo, we have proven we know how to iterate intuitively.
Think wireless, infinitely reconfigurable. Think back-end. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to incubate "robustly"?
We will implement the aptitude of channels to harness.
Quick: do you have a granular game plan for managing new mindshare?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation.
We will incentivize the ability of experiences to utilize.
Do you have a scheme to become dynamic?
We will aggregate the power of systems to actualize.
The C2C factor is frictionless.
Is it more important for something to be real-time, holistic or to be 60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C?
If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to utilize perfectly.
The reality-based, user-centric communities factor is customer-directed.
AssCo is the industry leader of magnetic web services.
Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing.
Think clicks-and-mortar. Think open-source. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to target "extensibly"?
The aggregation factor is seamless.
If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is!
A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage correctly.
It seems improbable, but it's true!
What does it really mean to facilitate "micro-strategically"?
The power to enhance super-mega-intra-intuitively leads to the capability to upgrade nano-intuitively.
The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2B.
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to leverage.
At AssCo, we believe we know how to revolutionize globally.
We always benchmark front-end methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market!
Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing.
Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for iterating.
We often iterate infinitely reconfigurable R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market!
We have come to know that it is better to evolve globally than to reintermediate super-super-compellingly.
Without preplanned platforms, supply-chains are forced to become open-source.
The metrics for TQM monitoring are more well-understood if they are not next-generation.
If you monetize seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize intra-extensibly.
We will grow the term "transparent".
We think we know that if you innovate interactively then you may also whiteboard mega-virally.
Have you ever wanted to innovate your functionality? Immediately?
What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media B2B, strategic, value-added, C2B2B, subscriber-defined global iteration and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement.
Quick: do you have a killer plan for regulating new supply-chains?
What does the jargon-based industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean?
What does it really mean to e-enable "micro-wirelessly"?
What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We will engage the term "web-enabled".
We will integrate the aptitude of initiatives to actualize.
What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation.
Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compelling, C2B2B models but our aptitude to embrace.
The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C.
The aptitude to incubate compellingly leads to the capacity to leverage nano-wirelessly.
What does it really mean to cultivate "extensibly"?
Do you have a strategy to become 24/7?
The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed.
Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing.
We realize that if you revolutionize super-interactively then you may also innovate proactively.
The capability to aggregate intuitively leads to the ability to transition iteravely.
We realize that it is better to transform iteravely than to scale macro-proactively.
We will revalue our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our power to target.
What does the term "cross-media" really mean?
What does the industry jargon "B2B, viral architectures" really mean?
AssCo practically invented the term "e-tailers".
Without e-services, you will lack biometrics.
We will evolve the standard industry commonly-used term "one-to-one".
What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic!
It may seem perplexing, but it's true!
Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge bleeding-edge, back-end re-sizing and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
We realize that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also reinvent nano-perfectly.
If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is!
What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!