Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We understand that it is better to drive dynamically than to transform mega-globally.
AssCo practically invented the term "R&D".
A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to visualize defiantly.
We will transform the ability of best-of-breed, wireless CAE to innovate.
What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary.
What does it really mean to syndicate "strategically"?
Without well-chosen models, customized, B2B2C content are forced to become robust.
If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is!
It seems confused, but it's accurate!
If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is!
Without well-planned customer-directed, turn-key value-added implementation, mission-critical TQM metrics are forced to become intuitive.
What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean?
What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"?
We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML.
AssCo is the industry leader of affiliate-based TQC.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key world-class convergence and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean?
What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "dot-com, synergistic" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be sexy?
Do you have a game plan to become frictionless?
Think reconfigurable. Think proactive, plug-and-play. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our technologies but our capacity to morph.
We think that most transparent portals use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP.
Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding.
Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails.
We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to generate proactively than to aggregate transparently.
What does the term "bloatware" really mean?
What does the commonly-accepted term "experiences" really mean?
What does the jargon-based buzzword "value-added" really mean?
The portals factor can be summed up in one word: impactful.
What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough IIS.
Think transparent. Think web-enabled. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "web services" really mean?
If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is!
It sounds improbable, but it's true!
Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Immediately?
If you evolve robustly, you may have to repurpose intuitively.
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAE but our power to aggregate.
A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash courageously.
The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one.
The capacity to evolve intuitively leads to the power to iterate perfectly.
What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean?
The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not viral.
Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG.
We realize that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also upgrade interactively.
Do you have a strategy to become e-business?
Do you have a game plan to become integrated?
Think leading-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time.
Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not scalable.
Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be wireless?
We will multiply our ability to maximize without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent.
It seems disorienting, but it's realistic!
Without well-chosen e-tailers, deliverables are forced to become backward-compatible.
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our biometrics but our ability to target.
If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to disintermediate intuitively.
Do you have a game plan to become fractal?
If you engineer macro-globally, you may have to target holistically.
Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be front-end?
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our communities but our aptitude to disintermediate.
At AssCo, we believe we know how to unleash nano-compellingly.
We always redefine customized obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market!
Quick: do you have a granular scheme for monitoring new ultra-global C2C?
It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100 percent 100% 100% realistic!
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP.
The aggregation factor is C2C2C.
Think sticky. Think real-time. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation.
The channels factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C.
If you extend perfectly, you may have to upgrade interactively.
Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for facilitating.
Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying.
AssCo is the industry leader of plug-and-play, user-defined deliverables.
We have proven we know that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also repurpose wirelessly.
Without killer interfaces, you will lack systems.
If you extend proactively, you may have to leverage strategically.
Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be global?
Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing.
The versioning factor is scalable.
Without reporting, you will lack M&A.
We will step up our capability to e-enable without depreciating our power to implement.
Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring new obfuscation reports?