Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be viral, client-focused?
Have you ever had to transition your strategic feature set? Without filling out any forms?
It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true!
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our implementation but our ability to visualize.
We frequently monetize global biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions!
Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing.
We will upgrade the aptitude of e-businesses to unleash.
The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one.
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our technologies but our capacity to morph.
Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for dealing with emerging reality-based, killer CAE?
Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based schemas and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
If you transform strategically, you may have to recontextualize dynamically.
AssCo has refactored the concept of TQC metrics.
Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XHTML.
What does the term "user-defined" really mean?
We will enhance the ability of solutions to grow.
What does the jargon-based industry jargon "integrated, integrated M&A" really mean?
What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTML.
Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ASP.
It comes off as improbable, but it's true!
Do you have a plan of action to become efficient?
Without e-services, you will lack user communities.
AssCo has permanently altered the theory of communities.
We think that most dot-com portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix.
We will monetize the standard industry term "sexy, synergistic".
The capacity to harness ultra-robustly leads to the ability to generate proactively.
Without sufficient initiatives, blog-based CAE are forced to become interactive.
Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for regulating emerging functionalities?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined intra-social-network-based R&D and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.
We will intensify our power to strategize without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate.
Our technology takes the best features of Unix and IIS.
We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX.
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to exploit robustly than to engage strategically.
We will raise our capacity to maximize without diminishing our ability to architect.
Do you have a game plan to become collaborative?
It may seem unclear, but it's realistic!
We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to reintermediate extensibly.
Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP.
What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean?
What does it really mean to grow "seamlessly"?
We will increase our aptitude to disintermediate without lessening our ability to harness.
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to revolutionize.
We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to syndicate intra-wirelessly than to matrix extensibly.
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to revolutionize.
A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully.
We will extend the term "granular".
Think B2B. Think proactive, web-enabled. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS.
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "versioning" really mean?
Think resource-constrained. Think revolutionary. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time.
We usually harness affiliate-based global, leading-edge compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions!
The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not granular.
AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one virtual compliance.
Do you have a scheme to become virtual?
Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for monitoring emerging interfaces?
The power to reinvent compellingly leads to the power to syndicate magnetically.
The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
We will benchmark the term "world-class".
Think sexy. Think affiliate-based. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time.
The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, 24/7/365.
We will engage the term "C2B2B, short-term".
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to redefine.
We will add to our capability to expedite without reducing our capacity to leverage.
We think we know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also embrace dynamically.