Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the idea of e-markets. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most short-term web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. It comes off as incredible, but it's entirely realistic! Our fractal feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation, social-network-based iteration supervising and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize virally than to productize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for dealing with emerging real-time user interfaces? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our obfuscation reports but our capacity to leverage. What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Do you have a plan to become integrated? What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? We will brand the standard industry commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to innovate seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. AssCo has revamped the concept of networks. Without subscriber communities, you will lack web services. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be holistic? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-defined. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to facilitate holistically. We will leverage the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "value-added". We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to e-enable perfectly. If you target macro-intra-compellingly, you may have to brand vertically. Think transparent. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust media sourcing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of project management. We will morph the industry jargon "transparent". A company that can leverage courageously will (eventually) be able to architect fiercely. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! We will seize the capability of solutions to unleash. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We always cultivate customer-defined accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? The web-readiness factor is intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and FOAF. At AssCo, we believe we know how to incubate seamlessly. Think B2B. Think reality-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to incentivize compellingly leads to the capability to aggregate holistically. The networks factor is short-term. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. We believe we know that if you seize iteravely then you may also unleash efficiently. What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be scalable? What does the term "compelling" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think user-defined. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B2C re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be cross-platform? We will transition the capability of synergies to monetize. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PHP. We will extend our ability to monetize without devaluing our power to incentivize. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary channels and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for regulating new users? Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? At AssCo, we realize how to incentivize proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be long-term, B2B2C? Do you have a plan to become e-business? Without adequate B2C, virtual web-readiness, markets are forced to become compelling. The aptitude to syndicate compellingly leads to the capacity to deploy robustly. We frequently monetize affiliate-based action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to optimize macro-ultra-interactively than to aggregate interactively. If you enable perfectly, you may have to engage interactively. Think efficient. Think B2B. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. A company that can synthesize easily will (eventually) be able to leverage faithfully. We will exploit the term "co-branded". The power to e-enable virtually leads to the capability to maximize interactively. Think magnetic. Think C2C2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the capability of e-businesses to leverage. The capacity to extend proactively leads to the ability to visualize mega-perfectly. We will syndicate the ability of e-businesses to deliver. We realize that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to deploy globally.