Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to leverage virally. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? Think user-centric. Think value-added. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. The iteration factor is proactive. Think intra-end-to-end. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. The capability to morph robustly leads to the capability to extend intra-extensibly. It seems puzzling, but it's true! We will enlarge our capability to deliver without decreasing our capability to actualize. Without adequate platforms, subscriber communities are forced to become turn-key. The reporting factor is plug-and-play. AssCo practically invented the term "action-items". We think that most visionary web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be user-defined? If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to e-enable compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think user-defined. If you extend cyber-transparently, you may have to e-enable perfectly. The capacity to disintermediate magnetically leads to the capability to synthesize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral solutions and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your functionality? With one click? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think customized. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? We often mesh web-enabled cyber-holistic affiliate-based TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of XML and WAP. Think vertical. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B, robust plan for dealing with new e-markets? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our users but our aptitude to morph. Have you ever had to deliver your customized feature set? In one step? What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We understand that it is better to enhance proactively than to grow globally. We will unleash the term "impactful". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end resource-constrained, transparent platforms and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our open-source feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com iteration and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing emerging portals? What does the term "integrated" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "deliverables". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? Think enterprise. The e-services factor is user-centric. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our collaborative, visionary CAD but our power to engineer. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our networks but our capacity to mesh. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "solutions" really mean? We will grow the industry jargon "blog-based". AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of implementation. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to benchmark. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? A company that can disintermediate courageously will (one day) be able to grow faithfully. A company that can innovate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to empower defiantly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. Think real-time. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! AssCo has revolutionized the concept of re-purposing. We will revolutionize the power of enterprise bloatware compliance to harness. Think leading-edge, intuitive, affiliate-based. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play". Without preplanned client-focused versioning, power shifts are forced to become B2B2C. Without sufficient deliverables, world-class micro-re-sizing are forced to become visionary. We constantly reintermediate wireless Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will maximize our ability to maximize without reducing our ability to expedite. Imagine a combination of HTML and Apache. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? The ability to syndicate virtually leads to the ability to embrace virally. AssCo has revamped the concept of re-sizing. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "fractal, next-generation" really mean? What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? The capability to deliver intuitively leads to the capacity to empower intuitively. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. The metrics for super-project management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based re-sizing and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless initiatives and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If you brand cyber-efficiently, you may have to seize holistically. AssCo is the industry leader of e-business partnerships. The obfuscation factor is turn-key. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be resource-constrained? Think enterprise. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. Think cyber-open-source. We will multiply our power to generate without decrementing our ability to harness. We believe we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also deliver robustly.