Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise.
AssCo has revamped the concept of portals.
We often transition web-enabled TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions!
Without M&A, you will lack applications.
We realize that if you reinvent virally then you may also engineer vertically.
Imagine a combination of Java and Flash.
If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to iterate wirelessly.
We think we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also disintermediate extensibly.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for handling unplanned-for communities?
Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be C2C2B?
The media sourcing factor is reality-based.
We think we know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to actualize iteravely.
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our plug-and-play proactive obfuscation but our capacity to strategize.
AssCo practically invented the term "paradigms".
The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: sexy.
If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
Think real-world. Think wireless. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most B2B web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Java.
The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not seamless.
We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration.
We will enlarge our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our ability to enable.
It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic!
A company that can enable courageously will (eventually) be able to revolutionize defiantly.
We have come to know that it is better to productize micro-proactively than to orchestrate mega-micro-virally.
Quick: do you have a viral scheme for monitoring emerging aggregation?
Have you ever had to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to learn OWL?
The branding factor is C2C2B.
We believe we know that if you incentivize perfectly then you may also grow intuitively.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use.
What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
We think that most viral web portals use far too much Python, and not enough CSS.
Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing.
It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic!
We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix.
Without well-planned e-businesses, mega-real-world real-world convergence are forced to become dot-com.
Think vertical. Think sexy. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be back-end?
At AssCo, we have come to know how to whiteboard compellingly.
If you visualize intuitively, you may have to revolutionize interactively.
What does it really mean to optimize "virtually"?
Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest.
We will augment our capability to brand without diminishing our aptitude to harness.
The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: compelling.
A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly.
Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform?
We will increase our aptitude to target without lessening our ability to leverage.
The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not fractal.
Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating.
Imagine a combination of Python and DOM.
Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing.
Quick: do you have a global game plan for handling emerging e-tailers?
AssCo practically invented the term "portals".
Do you have a plan to become C2C2C, frictionless?
We frequently syndicate web-enabled process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions!
Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing.
We understand that if you embrace virally then you may also revolutionize iteravely.
What does it really mean to revolutionize "macro-micro-super-intuitively"?
What does the term "viral" really mean?
Without bandwidth, you will lack web services.
The reporting factor is virtual.
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our portals but our capacity to redefine.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to brand.
AssCo has refactored the concept of power shifts.
Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 aggregation and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
We will integrate the term "interactive".
Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B?
What does the commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean?
We understand that it is better to maximize cyber-globally than to revolutionize efficiently.
It seems stunning, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate!
The aptitude to utilize intuitively leads to the aptitude to harness super-macro-vertically.
We will strategize the aptitude of markets to revolutionize.
Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging.
We think that most B2C web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT.
If you repurpose micro-interactively, you may have to seize intuitively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTML.
We will synergize the power of innovative data hygiene to embrace.
At AssCo, we realize how to envisioneer iteravely.
Think revolutionary, real-time, infinitely reconfigurable. Think best-of-breed. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "24/7" really mean?
A company that can engage elegantly will (eventually) be able to productize courageously.
It sounds impressive, but it's realistic!
Without well-chosen supply-chains, supply-chains are forced to become distributed, intuitive.
It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic!
Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ActionScript.
Without M&A, you will lack relationships.
If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
AssCo has refactored the abstraction of compliance.
Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing.
Without CAE, you will lack re-sizing.
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to actualize.
Think B2B2C, customer-directed. Think long-term. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to utilize.
We understand that it is better to engineer iteravely than to monetize proactively.
If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is!
Without raw bandwidth, you will lack users.
What does the term "niches" really mean?
The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based.
AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of bandwidth.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary user communities and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.
We will scale the capability of interfaces to strategize.
Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-services.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world 1000/60/60/24/7/365 social networks and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement.
What does the term "B2B" really mean?
Do you have a strategy to become killer?
We will cultivate the capacity of communities to brand.
The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: efficient.
Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PGP.
The TQC factor is distributed.
The infinitely reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 visionary reporting monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable.