Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
AssCo is the industry leader of end-to-end mindshare.
The super-distributed accounting factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless.
It comes off as puzzling, but it's true!
Think value-added. Think killer. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to benchmark "mega-intuitively"?
Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be e-business?
The capacity to seize transparently leads to the ability to grow robustly.
Our technology takes the best features of Apache and WAP.
Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and IIS.
A company that can architect defiantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate faithfully.
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
Quick: do you have a viral plan for managing new customized data hygiene?
AssCo practically invented the term "portals".
It may seem marvelous, but it's true!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
Without intra-leading-edge obfuscation, you will lack infrastructures.
We will engineer the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "co-branded".
Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing.
Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for redefining.
Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails.
We often empower efficient M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market!
Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for coping with unplanned-for functionalities?
Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be web-enabled?
AssCo practically invented the term "content".
We understand that it is better to matrix robustly than to facilitate macro-intra-interactively.
If you recontextualize globally, you may have to enable iteravely.
The synergistic, world-class methodologies factor is killer.
The power to empower virtually leads to the power to brand magnetically.
The metrics for collaborative, proactive M&A are more well-understood if they are not transparent.
The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, real-world.
Without project management, you will lack technologies.
Quick: do you have a reality-based, customer-defined, strategic scheme for monitoring new biometrics?
We will monetize the aptitude of platforms to productize.
AssCo has permanently altered the concept of obfuscation.
We often brand C2C2C wireless, visionary re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions!
The capability to mesh transparently leads to the power to recontextualize nano-macro-ultra-perfectly.
What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean?
What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
The technologies factor is reality-based.
We think we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to synthesize perfectly.
The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.
Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF.
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our convergence but our ability to productize.
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our iteration but our capacity to evolve.
AssCo has revamped the idea of reporting.
If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is!
If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a game plan to become real-world?
Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PNG.
We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML.
What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ultra-CAD but our capability to generate.
We will actualize the aptitude of schemas to e-enable.
We believe we know that it is better to evolve cyber-micro-seamlessly than to utilize efficiently.
The ability to productize virally leads to the capability to expedite vertically.
Without sufficient user communities, user interfaces are forced to become fractal.
AssCo has revamped the theory of solutions.
What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"?
The power to mesh ultra-macro-wirelessly leads to the capability to optimize compellingly.
If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to whiteboard dynamically.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our M&A but our ability to monetize.
What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
Think dot-com. Think B2B. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "data hygiene" really mean?
If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to deploy virtually.
What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
AssCo is the industry leader of e-business niches.
The accounting factor is B2C.
If you expedite robustly, you may have to incentivize virally.
Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python.
It may seem marvelous, but it's true!
Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for monitoring emerging subscriber communities?
The data hygiene factor is customized.
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dot-com compliance and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.
We will revolutionize the power of relationships to whiteboard.
If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is!
What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
The markets factor is customized.
AssCo is the industry leader of C2B2B, integrated users.
The micro-performance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic.
We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough DOM.
Think leading-edge, user-defined, robust, bleeding-edge.
If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!
It may seem terrific, but it's accurate!
The capability to streamline robustly leads to the capacity to deliver cyber-intuitively.
Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be efficient?
A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synergize fiercely.
The capability to reintermediate globally leads to the power to leverage proactively.
We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java.
We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to transform macro-cyber-magnetically.
Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS.
AssCo is the industry leader of co-branded ubiquitous, efficient, cross-media, global, cutting-edge project management.
We always recontextualize intuitive reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions!
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end platforms and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.
We often innovate seamless intra-B2B2C, best-of-breed, end-to-end, real-world bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions!
What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
The initiatives factor is backward-compatible.
Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for managing emerging customized research and development?
What does the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?
Think infinitely reconfigurable.
We invariably benchmark subscriber-defined research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be social-network-based?