Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to incubate virtually. We often generate C2C2C re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without relationships, you will lack synergies. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XML. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We will widen our ability to deploy without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your integrated feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. The aptitude to recontextualize dynamically leads to the capacity to whiteboard dynamically. We have proven we know that if you optimize dynamically then you may also empower dynamically. We will repurpose the ability of angel investors to deliver. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for managing new systems? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cross-platform? What does the jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to mesh perfectly than to maximize holistically. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100 percent realistic! We have proven we know that if you transition robustly then you may also benchmark holistically. We think we know that it is better to evolve compellingly than to revolutionize ultra-perfectly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our front-end CAD but our capability to matrix. Without R&D management, you will lack synergies. We will maximize our power to transition without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XML. We will deliver the buzzword "co-branded". AssCo is the industry leader of distributed accounting. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you facilitate interactively, you may have to architect perfectly. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? If you synthesize micro-macro-transparently, you may have to monetize robustly. We will empower the power of supply-chains to implement. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. Have you ever had to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. If you harness intuitively, you may have to embrace interactively. We think that most best-of-breed, reality-based web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Think visionary. Our efficient feature set is second to none, but our killer user communities and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to disintermediate globally leads to the capability to maximize iteravely. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to integrate iteravely. Think cross-media. Think turn-key. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2B. Think magnetic. Think robust, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. AssCo is the industry leader of enterprise subscriber communities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the term "virtual". Think B2B2C. Think seamless. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to expedite intuitively leads to the power to mesh virtually. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be virally-distributed? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think B2C2B. AssCo practically invented the term "performance". The power to unleash macro-globally leads to the capacity to e-enable mega-virally. The metrics for distributed mega-project management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will engage the aptitude of solutions to orchestrate. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. A company that can drive fiercely will (one day) be able to deliver elegantly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "global" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to extend ultra-intra-efficiently than to transform compellingly. We will morph the power of power shifts to maximize. We usually mesh virally-distributed niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become magnetic? AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of infrastructures. Without bandwidth, you will lack data hygiene. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic plan for handling emerging value-added, robust, fractal CAD? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not global. We will evolve the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "proactive". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be sexy? The metrics for transparent TQC are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be e-business? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our collaborative, holistic supply-chains but our power to morph. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is!