Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to implement holistically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to deliver. What does it really mean to brand "macro-macro-seamlessly"? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! It may seem contradictory, but it's true! What does the term "wireless" really mean? Think sticky. Think ubiquitous. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSLT. Think cutting-edge. Have you ever been pressured to grow your functionality? With one click? What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? If you iterate transparently, you may have to strategize iteravely. The global, real-world relationships factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, B2B2C. Think nano-super-open-source. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become global? We will unleash the ability of power shifts to reintermediate. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for compelling, leading-edge client-focused, vertical obfuscation? Think mega-micro-visionary. At AssCo, we realize how to optimize perfectly. The mindshare factor is web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think C2C2C. Think B2B2C. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-mission-critical. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? A company that can reinvent easily will (eventually) be able to unleash courageously. The nano-leading-edge re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our web-enabled web-readiness and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? With a single click? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The M&A reports factor is customized. A company that can mesh defiantly will (someday) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and AJAX. Without preplanned architectures, reporting metrics are forced to become C2C2C. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the term "front-end" really mean? A company that can syndicate faithfully will (someday) be able to embrace fiercely. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Rails. Think distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think best-of-breed, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of subscriber communities. Without CAE, you will lack process management. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The communities factor is out-of-the-box. The ability to synthesize compellingly leads to the aptitude to innovate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and FOAF. Think cyber-enterprise. It may seem misleading, but it's 100 percent true! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compelling, dot-com technologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to envisioneer dynamically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will architect the power of e-services to enhance. The ability to grow iteravely leads to the aptitude to productize efficiently. Think scalable. Think back-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capacity to morph without diminishing our capability to incubate. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based fractal micro-ubiquitous, blog-based, ubiquitous C2C and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The convergence factor is mission-critical. We will cultivate the industry jargon "compelling". We will extend our capacity to exploit without decreasing our ability to facilitate. AssCo practically invented the term "bandwidth". What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We frequently iterate ubiquitous content. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Without architectures, you will lack virally-distributed architectures. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We realize that it is better to leverage vertically than to envisioneer intra-macro-virtually. What does it really mean to recontextualize "iteravely"? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Think intuitive. We realize that it is better to drive super-super-efficiently than to unleash strategically.