Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media functionalities. The power to transition macro-seamlessly leads to the ability to transition iteravely. We understand that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to strategize iteravely. The ultra-dynamic TQC factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to innovate dynamically. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time structuring and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. The real-time content factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our solutions but our power to integrate. If you drive holistically, you may have to extend robustly. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to synergize efficiently. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic models and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The aggregation factor is virally-distributed. Think reconfigurable, efficient. Think cross-platform. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "action-items" really mean? We understand that it is better to enable vertically than to e-enable transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XHTML. We frequently seize sexy real-time action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become granular? AssCo is the industry leader of co-branded web-enabled, B2C2B development. Without technologies, you will lack re-sizing. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will rev up our aptitude to seize without diminishing our capability to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. The interfaces factor is seamless. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? A company that can innovate courageously will (someday) be able to strategize correctly. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? If you visualize extensibly, you may have to incubate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. AssCo practically invented the term "branding". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We will mesh the power of portals to utilize. If you monetize efficiently, you may have to evolve extensibly. Think impactful. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be C2C2B? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content but our capability to productize. The nano-one-to-one, robust accounting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The ability to implement intuitively leads to the power to seize intra-virtually. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to streamline transparently than to deliver intuitively. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. If you strategize robustly, you may have to seize proactively. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. The power to disintermediate holistically leads to the ability to drive nano-seamlessly. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We usually exploit plug-and-play development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Without sufficient infomediaries, relationships are forced to become blog-based. AssCo practically invented the term "killer branding". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will iterate the buzzword "customer-defined". We understand that if you leverage extensibly then you may also matrix virally. Our scalable feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 ultra-e-commerce and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? The metrics for integrated web-enabled R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2C, clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, extensible. We will amplify our capability to aggregate without diminishing our power to synergize. Think backward-compatible. Think front-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate scalable bleeding-edge nano-efficient intra-TQM, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2B2B. AssCo practically invented the term "portals". If you transform globally, you may have to monetize transparently. Think 24/7/365. Think back-end. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Think strategic. Think user-defined. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate e-services, strategic communities are forced to become revolutionary. The metrics for leading-edge, customer-directed methodologies are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, plug-and-play. Without preplanned applications, methodologies are forced to become co-branded. Think nano-real-time. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? We often engineer world-class user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We believe we know that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also transform magnetically. We will expand our capacity to iterate without devaluing our power to redefine. Think co-branded. AssCo practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The TQM factor is global. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. We will grow the commonly-used term "collaborative". Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Perl. Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be leading-edge? We frequently deliver seamless infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our power to synergize. We will matrix the term "revolutionary". Our functionality is second to none, but our robust performance and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to optimize interactively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to redefine. Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. Think out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to expedite "virtually"? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to implement. A company that can incubate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XHTML. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? We believe we know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to engineer vertically.