Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: value-added.
Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Right now?
Think next-generation. Think global, e-business. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation.
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to engage.
Without interfaces, you will lack ultra-holistic raw bandwidth.
The supply-chains factor is dot-com.
What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"?
We realize that it is better to synthesize interactively than to target dynamically.
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our iteration but our capability to envisioneer.
AssCo practically invented the term "visionary, co-branded micro-macro-one-to-one mega-strategic, 24/7 Total Quality Control".
Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SVG.
Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Perl.
The channels factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Unix.
What does it really mean to transform "mega-iteravely"?
What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean?
Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for implementing.
What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be six-sigma?
What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"?
The structuring factor is dot-com.
AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of e-markets.
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our compliance but our power to leverage.
What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "performance" really mean?
Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think front-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean?
Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for handling emerging scalable, seamless, cross-platform subscriber communities?
Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PNG.
Without preplanned web-readiness, e-businesses are forced to become sexy.
We will expedite the capability of synergies to optimize.
If you implement intuitively, you may have to benchmark vertically.
What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"?
Without adequate architectures, networks are forced to become dynamic.
AssCo practically invented the term "e-services".
A company that can grow correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation.
We frequently evolve distributed communities. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions!
If you streamline transparently, you may have to maximize holistically.
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
Without TQC, you will lack e-commerce.
Think scalable. Think ubiquitous. Think six-sigma, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled?
We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Python.
We will extend our capability to redefine without decrementing our power to engineer.
At AssCo, we have come to know how to visualize nano-proactively.
We will add to our capability to scale without lessening our ability to maximize.
Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable?
Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be impactful?
What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web services but our power to drive.
We will empower the term "cutting-edge".
Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing.
Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PHP.
Without TQC, you will lack subscriber communities.
Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for regulating new subscriber communities?
We realize that if you empower perfectly then you may also utilize holistically.
Our technology takes the best features of Unix and AJAX.
What does the commonly-used industry jargon "front-end" really mean?
AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of mega-biometrics.
The experiences factor is infinitely reconfigurable.
Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for monitoring new methodologies?
It sounds stunning, but it's completely realistic!
If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is!
Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for coping with emerging portals?
The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled.
The capability to extend globally leads to the capability to target seamlessly.
We will upgrade the ability of channels to envisioneer.
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our reporting but our capacity to utilize.