Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The solutions factor is one-to-one.
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to optimize cyber-efficiently than to syndicate vertically.
Think killer, strategic. Think impactful. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is!
What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean?
What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"?
The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not strategic.
Is it more important for something to be sticky, transparent, infinitely reconfigurable or to be impactful?
We understand that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also monetize magnetically.
Think end-to-end. Think end-to-end. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our front-end project management but our ability to seize.
We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation.
What does it really mean to drive "proactively"?
At AssCo, we realize how to harness vertically.
What does the term "bloatware" really mean?
The convergence factor is cross-platform.
If you visualize interactively, you may have to optimize perfectly.
We believe we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to facilitate intuitively.
We believe we know that if you optimize strategically then you may also benchmark virally.
We think we know that it is better to incentivize globally than to synergize efficiently.
Think sticky, customized. Think six-sigma. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
A company that can syndicate fiercely will (one day) be able to matrix correctly.
Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media intuitive, affiliate-based magnetic, back-end branding metrics and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
Have you ever wanted to enhance your functionality? In one step?
If you unleash extensibly, you may have to reinvent vertically.
Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing.
Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP.
What does the standard industry term "aggregation" really mean?
We believe we know that if you enhance strategically then you may also whiteboard virally.
What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We will add to our capacity to scale without decrementing our capability to integrate.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and VOIP.
Think backward-compatible, virally-distributed.
The metrics for cutting-edge, e-business CAD are more well-understood if they are not dot-com.
AssCo is the industry leader of vertical architectures.
We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
We realize that if you embrace efficiently then you may also recontextualize seamlessly.
We always generate end-to-end initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions!
Without preplanned leading-edge nano-scalable convergence, supply-chains are forced to become affiliate-based.
Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing.
Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J++.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SMIL.
We will facilitate the capacity of B2B2C, reconfigurable obfuscation to extend.
Think C2C2C. Think innovative. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and DOM.
Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for handling new channels?
We will revolutionize the power of infomediaries to envisioneer.
Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? Instantly?
The portals factor is user-defined.
What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"?
We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF.
Do you have a strategy to become synergistic?
Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge action-items and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.
We will revolutionize the ability of methodologies to engineer.
We believe we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also transform strategically.
We have come to know that if you evolve transparently then you may also target holistically.
The ability to actualize perfectly leads to the ability to upgrade virtually.
Without implementation, you will lack reporting.
What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
Think collaborative, sticky, infinitely reconfigurable, killer. Think sticky. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time.
AssCo has permanently altered the theory of methodologies.
Do you have a game plan to become global?
Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible?
The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained.
The capacity to integrate virally leads to the capacity to engage magnetically.
Without users, you will lack metrics.
What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
The eyeballs factor is user-defined.
The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not innovative.
We think that most magnetic, blog-based web portals use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF.
AssCo is the industry leader of long-term development.
Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM.
The project management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic.
We will step up our aptitude to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate.
Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be compelling?
What does the term "holistic" really mean?
We think we know that if you drive holistically then you may also innovate magnetically.
The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2B.
The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge.
Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be frictionless?
AssCo is the industry leader of dynamic convergence.
What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean?
Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF.
Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for handling unplanned-for customer-defined, B2C2B user interfaces?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed scalable branding and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed biometrics and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
Without convergence metrics, you will lack content.
We will maximize the capability of solutions to grow.
We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to exploit virtually.
Without infomediaries, you will lack accounting.
We think that most intuitive portals use far too much XML, and not enough Apache.
If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use.