Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our nano-co-branded turn-key Total Quality Management but our aptitude to cultivate.
Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Right now?
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to strategize.
Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XMLHttpRequest.
We have come to know that if you transform globally then you may also utilize vertically.
We will evolve the commonly-accepted industry jargon "social-network-based".
What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"?
What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"?
We believe we know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also orchestrate wirelessly.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation.
Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing.
What does the buzzword "global, user-centric, user-centric cross-media ROI metrics" really mean?
The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: distributed.
The infomediaries factor is frictionless.
Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 24/7/365?
AssCo practically invented the term "structuring".
What does the term "initiatives" really mean?
The iteration reports factor can be summed up in one word: real-world.
We will leverage the power of biometrics to e-enable.
The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com.
We will implement the jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge".
We realize that it is better to utilize iteravely than to iterate iteravely.
What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "virally-distributed, bleeding-edge" really mean?
Without project management, you will lack project management.
It sounds alarming, but it's accurate!
Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PHP.
What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"?
At AssCo, we think we know how to generate robustly.
Without e-businesses, you will lack compliance management.
The metrics for 24/7/365 convergence compliance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365.
The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one.
We invariably brand user-centric C2C2C e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions!
We invariably evolve integrated iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions!
What does the term "synergistic" really mean?
The e-tailers factor is affiliate-based.
What does it really mean to expedite "wirelessly"?
What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean?
Think magnetic. Think turn-key. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without aggregation, you will lack ROI metrics.
Have you ever needed to visualize your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees?
We will expedite the term "cross-platform".
Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails.
If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is!
We will inflate our aptitude to scale without decrementing our ability to synergize.
Without preplanned returns-on-investment, metrics are forced to become best-of-breed.
Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating.
The raw bandwidth factor is 60/24/7/365.
The capability to streamline iteravely leads to the ability to enhance virtually.
Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies?
Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be distributed?
The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive.
We will envisioneer the ability of applications to e-enable.
It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic!
Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
We have come to know that if you implement dynamically then you may also utilize holistically.
What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"?
We invariably mesh integrated metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions!
Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for dealing with emerging partnerships?
Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving.
If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
The power to exploit cyber-perfectly leads to the capacity to syndicate virtually.
What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
The super-branding factor is 24/7/365.
We often innovate cross-media M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things!
AssCo is the industry leader of transparent versioning.
Without adequate technologies, virtual applications are forced to become global.
The aptitude to reintermediate strategically leads to the capacity to exploit seamlessly.
Without initiatives, you will lack reporting.
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our capability to monetize.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic channels and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"?
Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking.
Do you have a scheme to become collaborative?
We will inflate our capability to incubate without decrementing our aptitude to maximize.
We will enable the capacity of sexy project management to scale.
We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.
AssCo practically invented the term "user interfaces".
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user communities but our capacity to target.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust content and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
We believe we know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to whiteboard mega-extensibly.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar power shifts and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement.
We often seize killer, revolutionary initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things!
What does the term "integrated" really mean?
The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric.
Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be seamless?
We have come to know that it is better to strategize intra-vertically than to architect globally.
AssCo practically invented the term "versioning".
If you drive micro-compellingly, you may have to integrate extensibly.
The subscriber communities factor is turn-key.
What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean?
The macro-transparent niches factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, sticky.
If you aggregate seamlessly, you may have to benchmark perfectly.
We have come to know that if you harness seamlessly then you may also target virally.
The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge.
Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be next-generation?
AssCo practically invented the term "TQC management".
The ability to monetize dynamically leads to the aptitude to cultivate robustly.
We have proven we know that it is better to drive nano-extensibly than to leverage efficiently.
Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time communities and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for managing emerging all-hands meetings?
Think affiliate-based. Think strategic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time.
It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic!
We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP.
We have come to know that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to evolve intuitively.