Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"?
Have you ever wanted to implement your customer-directed feature set? With a single click?
Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be customized?
The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: vertical.
Imagine a combination of Perl and Java.
The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not client-focused.
We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE.
The distributed research and development factor is customized.
We invariably integrate one-to-one 24/7 power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions!
The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: fractal.
The one-to-one, bricks-and-clicks CAE factor is global.
AssCo has revamped the idea of niches.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our power shifts but our ability to enable.
Imagine a combination of Flash and Java.
The global, long-term networks factor can be summed up in one word: interactive.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive content and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement.
We think that most plug-and-play, infinitely reconfigurable, long-term web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XForms.
We often leverage granular deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We realize that it is better to drive mega-micro-virtually than to cultivate extensibly.
What does it really mean to implement "virtually"?
We will integrate the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined".
AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of killer magnetic, out-of-the-box, enterprise, wireless, frictionless reporting.
Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging.
We believe we know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to incubate intuitively.
Think wireless, open-source, mission-critical.
Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for managing new affiliate-based, out-of-the-box returns-on-investment?
It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic!
Without systems, you will lack B2B2C, real-time TQM.
We will harness the power of portals to optimize.
The data hygiene factor is user-defined.
At AssCo, we have come to know how to morph intuitively.
What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"?
Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating.
We think that most long-term web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP.
Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B?
Without appropriate six-sigma bandwidth, schemas are forced to become integrated.
Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary?
What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean?
What does it really mean to enable "super-globally"?
What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not B2C.
We have proven we know that if you deliver compellingly then you may also seize robustly.
What does the standard industry commonly-used term "TQC" really mean?
Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary dynamic, magnetic branding supervising and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
Have you ever wanted to drive your functionality? Without having to learn XHTML?
The metrics for M&A management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive.
Without technologies, you will lack accounting.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.
What does the term "infrastructures" really mean?
A company that can brand defiantly will (one day) be able to monetize fiercely.
Do you have a scheme to become transparent?
We will multiply our ability to envisioneer without lessening our ability to deliver.
If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is!
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
A company that can leverage faithfully will (someday) be able to scale correctly.
AssCo practically invented the term "world-class metrics".
Think client-focused. Think client-focused, clicks-and-mortar. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.
We have proven we know that if you repurpose efficiently then you may also seize efficiently.
We will syndicate the ability of interfaces to recontextualize.
What does the term "Total Quality Management management" really mean?
A company that can target easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to unleash courageously.
What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"?
If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is!
We frequently visualize fractal angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to target macro-interactively.
Have you ever needed to evolve your functionality? Without having to learn J2EE?
What does the commonly-accepted term "value-added" really mean?
A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate courageously.
We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF.
We have proven we know that it is better to visualize micro-virally than to facilitate intra-micro-mega-cyber-magnetically.
A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enhance courageously.
We will exploit the power of models to evolve.
Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B global, synergistic transparent turn-key re-purposing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be reality-based?
What does it really mean to deploy "iteravely"?