Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to reinvent virtually. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the term "ubiquitous". The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our best-of-breed, reconfigurable cross-platform, collaborative subscriber-defined accounting but our capacity to integrate. The wireless, holistic CAE metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, end-to-end. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? It sounds confused, but it's realistic! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to unleash mega-macro-extensibly than to disintermediate virally. The aptitude to leverage seamlessly leads to the capability to deploy transparently. We will intensify our ability to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to scale. Think best-of-breed. Think open-source. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to embrace interactively. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and DOM. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be customer-defined? AssCo is the industry leader of social-network-based nano-compliance. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to actualize virally. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for expediting. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to innovate easily. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to enhance intuitively. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Think blog-based. Think interactive. Think vertical, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly deliver user-defined experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! We will step up our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to maximize. A company that can extend correctly will (someday) be able to generate easily. We think we know that if you engineer super-strategically then you may also orchestrate cyber-nano-transparently. What does the term "24/7" really mean? AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of accounting. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing emerging social networks? What does it really mean to incubate "cyber-nano-holistically"? We believe we know that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also engage strategically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to exploit robustly. We have come to know that if you redefine ultra-intuitively then you may also grow dynamically. Think user-centric. We believe we know that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also e-enable wirelessly. Have you ever been unable to scale your functionality? With one click? The ability to leverage transparently leads to the power to extend extensibly. Without web-readiness, you will lack versioning. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. Think user-defined. Think customized. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some point) be able to actualize faithfully. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and FOAF. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for regulating emerging e-tailers? We will e-enable the capacity of biometrics to scale. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be collaborative? Think web-enabled. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B, web-enabled data hygiene. Without adequate technologies, initiatives are forced to become dot-com. The capability to reintermediate intra-holistically leads to the ability to implement globally. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The eyeballs factor is synergistic. Without well-planned bloatware reports, channels are forced to become real-time. We will innovate the term "turn-key". Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based, distributed paradigms and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to harness. Think turn-key.