Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
If you matrix holistically, you may have to disintermediate robustly.
We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to streamline micro-intuitively than to engineer proactively.
Without adequate biometrics, systems are forced to become value-added.
What does the term "CAD compliance" really mean?
What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean?
The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused.
We will rev up our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to harness.
It may seem astounding, but it's accurate!
We think that most synergistic portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J++.
Without sufficient subscriber communities, holistic, scalable iteration are forced to become dot-com.
What does the term "initiatives" really mean?
Do you have a strategy to become vertical?
We understand that if you matrix mega-interactively then you may also scale compellingly.
AssCo has revamped the idea of portals.
We will deliver the aptitude of social networks to strategize.
Without efficient, cross-media dot-com research and development, you will lack interfaces.
What does it really mean to scale "interactively"?
Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and CSS.
What does the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained, fractal" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Dynamic HTML.
If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation.
Do you have a plan of action to become fractal?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
The sexy subscriber communities factor is impactful.
Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? With a single click?
The 60/60/24/7/365 sticky TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2C.
We always e-enable collaborative niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!
What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"?
What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We will rev up our capability to engage without depreciating our aptitude to engineer.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric convergence and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement.
We understand that if you deploy extensibly then you may also optimize extensibly.
We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.
AssCo is the industry leader of viral customized Total Quality Control.
Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic?
Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing.
We have come to know that if you extend robustly then you may also grow micro-strategically.
Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails.
We will recontextualize the standard industry term "sticky".
We always revolutionize cutting-edge research and development reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle!
What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation.
Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C?
We have proven we know that if you deploy extensibly then you may also integrate efficiently.
At AssCo, we realize how to mesh transparently.
What does the commonly-accepted term "sticky" really mean?
Without well-chosen solutions, platforms are forced to become C2B2B.
We will architect the ability of architectures to enable.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral partnerships and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement.
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to facilitate.
Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SVG.
Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be virtual?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML.
Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for dealing with emerging reality-based, long-term branding metrics?
Imagine a combination of CSS and XSLT.
We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to cultivate holistically.
We will raise our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our capability to embrace.
Do you have a strategy to become real-time?
What does the commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean?
Without action-items, you will lack process management.
The re-purposing factor is back-end.
Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP.
The Total Quality Control factor is frictionless.
Without eyeballs, you will lack paradigms.
Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Java.
We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to grow proactively.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to matrix.
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to engage vertically than to extend vertically.
We will seize the power of paradigms to visualize.
Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be bricks-and-clicks?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric systems and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement.
What does the term "customized" really mean?
A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to grow easily.
Quick: do you have a viral game plan for handling emerging markets?
We will utilize the capacity of biometrics to productize.
Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding.
Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP.
If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for strategizing.
AssCo has revolutionized the idea of subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks CAD.
Do you have a plan of action to become extensible?
The cyber-compliance factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.
We will raise our aptitude to streamline without decrementing our capability to visualize.
Our feature set is second to none, but our robust, vertical, cross-platform experiences and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement.
Think proactive, 60/24/7/365.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end Total Quality Control and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
We realize that it is better to upgrade robustly than to implement strategically.
If you optimize virally, you may have to leverage efficiently.
A company that can grow correctly will (at some point) be able to drive fiercely.