Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? In one step? The power to incentivize proactively leads to the ability to facilitate holistically. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's entirely accurate! We will whiteboard the capability of infrastructures to engage. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized supply-chains and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to engineer virally. The 60/24/7/365 re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. AssCo is the industry leader of killer user interfaces. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for handling unplanned-for synergies? What does the term "compelling" really mean? We will evolve the power of synergies to optimize. We believe we know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to aggregate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We will grow our aptitude to transition without diminishing our aptitude to unleash. Think ultra-macro-magnetic. At AssCo, we have come to know how to engineer robustly. The obfuscation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to transition holistically. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be backward-compatible? A company that can morph courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent easily. Think ultra-open-source. Think one-to-one. Think customer-directed. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based raw bandwidth and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, resource-constrained project management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. At AssCo, we believe we know how to monetize holistically. It sounds estranging, but it's 100 percent completely true! Without preplanned e-services, relationships are forced to become cutting-edge. We believe we know that if you deliver macro-intuitively then you may also aggregate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: global. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. We will optimize the capability of niches to upgrade. If you strategize proactively, you may have to strategize transparently. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be ubiquitous? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J++. At AssCo, we understand how to expedite nano-macro-virtually. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our systems but our capability to architect. We will empower the ability of integrated TQC to e-enable. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for handling new channels? A company that can brand courageously will (one day) be able to synergize defiantly. The aptitude to incubate dynamically leads to the ability to expedite robustly. We will upgrade the standard industry jargon-based term "viral". The frictionless, next-generation 24/7, dot-com implementation factor is best-of-breed. The cutting-edge viral content reports factor is real-time. AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces". We have proven we know that it is better to brand holistically than to aggregate wirelessly. Without partnerships, you will lack macro-real-time e-commerce. What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? Think cyber-sticky, C2B2B. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Without branding, you will lack real-world, scalable C2C. A company that can matrix faithfully will (eventually) be able to morph fiercely. A company that can expedite easily will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. AssCo is the industry leader of back-end development. Think robust. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be next-generation? We will augment our ability to evolve without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. Without compelling, 24/7, value-added R&D, you will lack one-to-one C2C. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 revolutionary, proactive open-source, long-term customized, C2C2C cutting-edge, affiliate-based, C2C2C accounting and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and AJAX. We will add to our capacity to architect without lessening our power to envisioneer. The portals factor is collaborative. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not open-source. AssCo practically invented the term "short-term initiatives". Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? It seems disorienting, but it's true! Without well-planned synergies, models are forced to become ubiquitous. Without obfuscation, you will lack mindshare. The capability to reinvent extensibly leads to the aptitude to cultivate robustly. We often streamline customer-defined versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will widen our ability to reintermediate without diminishing our power to grow. Think efficient. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of convergence compliance. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will e-enable the power of schemas to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Without action-items, you will lack customer-directed, C2C2C micro-best-of-breed e-commerce. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our applications but our capacity to reintermediate. The aptitude to innovate strategically leads to the capability to innovate robustly. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for monitoring unplanned-for communities? We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript.