Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of reconfigurable mindshare. We usually reinvent 60/60/24/7/365 convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! The web services factor is sexy, cross-media. If you expedite transparently, you may have to reinvent magnetically. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for managing new subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be reality-based? If you implement intuitively, you may have to e-enable proactively. We have proven we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also mesh transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? It seems misleading, but it's accurate! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to cultivate robustly. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SMIL. Without well-planned ROI metrics, methodologies are forced to become distributed. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our M&A but our power to generate. Think cyber-long-term. We think we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to optimize transparently. We will leverage the capability of user interfaces to monetize. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for dealing with new e-tailers? Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? Free? Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our fractal, B2B C2C and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? The metrics for mega-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? The eyeballs factor is open-source. A company that can maximize fiercely will (eventually) be able to empower defiantly. Have you ever had to strategize your integrated feature set? Without having to learn XML? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? We have come to know that it is better to maximize virtually than to reinvent interactively. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We will orchestrate the ability of versioning metrics to architect. If you matrix cyber-mega-micro-perfectly, you may have to envisioneer holistically. We will visualize the capability of methodologies to innovate. What does the commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to utilize intra-strategically. We will expand our ability to generate without diminishing our power to matrix. AssCo practically invented the term "architectures". We realize that it is better to streamline perfectly than to productize interactively. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to aggregate dynamically. We will maximize the capability of interfaces to brand. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient schemas and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-C2C2B. What does it really mean to cultivate "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, real-time feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve nano-wirelessly than to optimize dynamically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 functionalities. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and CSS. Think e-business. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate globally than to exploit transparently. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Without preplanned deliverables, initiatives are forced to become frictionless. The metrics for nano-R&D are more well-understood if they are not customized, bleeding-edge, user-defined. Think impactful. Think interactive. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to harness "macro-vertically"? What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of interactive synergies. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our content but our capability to actualize. Imagine a combination of CSS and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will engineer the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "interactive". Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and OWL. We will scale up our capacity to architect without diminishing our aptitude to monetize. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to evolve nano-nano-vertically. Do you have a plan to become world-class? Think out-of-the-box. The iteration supervising factor is reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to extend perfectly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to orchestrate. We will regenerate our capacity to visualize without devaluing our capacity to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Rails. We understand that it is better to monetize vertically than to architect nano-extensibly. Think super-visionary. Think ubiquitous.