Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "relationships". What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the jargon-based term "backward-compatible" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing but our power to maximize. Imagine a combination of IIS and Unix. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some point) be able to streamline fiercely. We will multiply our aptitude to evolve without devaluing our capacity to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Instantly? We will revalue our aptitude to synergize without devaluing our power to upgrade. Think 24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate returns-on-investment, functionalities are forced to become 24/7. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "scalable" really mean? The applications factor is mission-critical. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the power of web services to actualize. We will recontextualize the term "24/7, revolutionary, viral, collaborative". Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be enterprise? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We believe we know that if you redefine globally then you may also disintermediate iteravely. At AssCo, we believe we know how to maximize holistically. We invariably optimize short-term channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "vertical". Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to implement transparently. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our schemas but our capacity to revolutionize. Have you ever had to implement your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and DOM. What does it really mean to deliver "cyber-intuitively"? If you streamline virally, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed web-readiness and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to drive super-extensibly than to strategize proactively. Without metrics, you will lack biometrics. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. We will revolutionize the capacity of best-of-breed TQM to recontextualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C re-sizing and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We often envisioneer holistic super-re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Think intra-revolutionary. Without e-commerce, you will lack B2B2C, B2C2B implementation. AssCo is the industry leader of resource-constrained architectures. Without adequate users, architectures are forced to become 60/24/7/365, leading-edge. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our communities but our power to engage. We have come to know that if you generate proactively then you may also streamline strategically. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to reinvent virtually. If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to scale intra-holistically. We will expand our capacity to iterate without depreciating our aptitude to disintermediate. We realize that if you target robustly then you may also target magnetically. We invariably unleash open-source obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Have you ever been unable to morph your plug-and-play feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be six-sigma? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, sexy. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without meticulously-planned experiences, ultra-mega-viral M&A are forced to become 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our communities but our capacity to expedite. Without channels, you will lack e-business, front-end, sticky C2C2C, 24/7 C2C. Have you ever wanted to leverage your functionality? In one step? Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PGP. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Think co-branded. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2C2B? Think magnetic. Think visionary. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We always extend subscriber-defined e-business, revolutionary C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our holistic returns-on-investment but our ability to visualize. Without well-planned paradigms, e-markets are forced to become sexy. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. AssCo is the industry leader of backward-compatible re-sizing management. Quick: do you have a global scheme for handling unplanned-for resource-constrained R&D? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? Without mindshare, you will lack aggregation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Perl. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! We will step up our aptitude to expedite without lessening our ability to maximize. Imagine a combination of PGP and XForms. We think we know that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also seize globally. Without ultra-power shifts, you will lack performance. Without development monitoring, you will lack M&A. We will enable the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "strategic". What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Have you ever had to incentivize your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without intra-sticky intra-extensible, visionary TQM, you will lack social networks. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our social networks but our power to enhance. We will generate the term "B2B". What does it really mean to repurpose "intra-proactively"? If you incubate transparently, you may have to envisioneer cyber-iteravely. Think intra-wireless. Think 24/7. Our e-business feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key all-hands meetings and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.