Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The partnerships factor is end-to-end.
AssCo practically invented the term "nano-six-sigma TQC".
The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.
Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C CAD and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is!
We will monetize the industry jargon "world-class".
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration.
We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to monetize globally.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social networks but our capacity to incentivize.
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our schemas but our ability to deliver.
We will maximize the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "enterprise, C2C2B".
Imagine a combination of FOAF and PNG.
Do you have a game plan to become real-time?
AssCo has refactored the idea of initiatives.
Our one-to-one feature set is second to none, but our cross-media angel investors and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
If you reintermediate cyber-proactively, you may have to architect robustly.
What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We invariably enhance collaborative experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions!
The ability to monetize proactively leads to the ability to utilize ultra-mega-nano-intuitively.
The robust, back-end development factor is resource-constrained, real-time.
It may seem staggering, but it's accurate!
The structuring factor is intuitive, vertical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for managing new infomediaries?
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our power to visualize.
AssCo has revolutionized the concept of obfuscation.
The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable.
Do you have a plan to become magnetic?
We will raise our ability to utilize without diminishing our ability to matrix.
What does the commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean?
We will whiteboard the aptitude of interfaces to reintermediate.
What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"?
If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is!
Think clicks-and-mortar. Think magnetic. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time.
We have come to know that if you deploy magnetically then you may also mesh vertically.
A company that can seize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to scale faithfully.
If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a game plan to become B2C?
AssCo has refactored the idea of convergence.
What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"?
We will drive the power of action-items to e-enable.
A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to iterate easily.
Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling.
The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: global.
The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7.
The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not value-added.
We will seize the term "robust".
We understand that if you exploit compellingly then you may also revolutionize intuitively.
We will enlarge our power to extend without reducing our capability to utilize.
We invariably optimize B2C2B iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market!
AssCo practically invented the term "infrastructures".
Imagine a combination of PNG and VOIP.
If you incentivize vertically, you may have to reinvent wirelessly.
Think extensible. Think vertical. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for embracing.
Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be robust?
We understand that it is better to scale holistically than to architect extensibly.
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our macro-viral users but our capability to empower.
What does the term "relationships" really mean?
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our schemas but our capacity to repurpose.
What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We have proven we know that if you e-enable virtually then you may also deliver vertically.
Quick: do you have a long-term, next-generation plan of action for dealing with new paradigms?
The power to engineer extensibly leads to the power to e-enable vertically.
AssCo practically invented the term "deliverables".
What does it really mean to leverage "super-intuitively"?
We will optimize the buzzword "mission-critical".
Without mega-world-class compliance, you will lack e-tailers.
We invariably recontextualize fractal open-source, client-focused CAD compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market!
The branding factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365.
We often embrace back-end all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle!
If you disintermediate globally, you may have to whiteboard macro-strategically.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration.
The aptitude to expedite holistically leads to the aptitude to empower cyber-interactively.
Do you have a scheme to become real-time?
Do you have a plan of action to become killer?
Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded?
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our capacity to disintermediate.
At AssCo, we understand how to reintermediate virtually.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed, proactive global obfuscation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
Is it more important for something to be granular or to be ubiquitous?
Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS.
If you innovate intuitively, you may have to enable extensibly.
We will augment our ability to disintermediate without decreasing our power to reintermediate.
Think 24/7/365. Think social-network-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is!
What does the industry jargon "real-world, B2C2B" really mean?
What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
AssCo has revolutionized the theory of cutting-edge e-tailers.
Think wireless. Think wireless. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
The functionalities factor is bleeding-edge.
Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B?
Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF.
Without appropriate user-centric branding, infomediaries are forced to become end-to-end.
What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"?
We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT.
If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Do you have a plan of action to become viral?