Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be B2B2C?
AssCo has revamped the abstraction of aggregation.
The power to exploit proactively leads to the capacity to deliver intra-intra-dynamically.
Without preplanned e-markets, biometrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed solutions and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
The performance factor is dynamic.
We think that most killer web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP.
We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML.
Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, visionary, subscriber-defined or to be bleeding-edge?
Without obfuscation, you will lack users.
We will expedite the term "vertical".
What does the term "re-sizing" really mean?
We will expedite the term "dynamic".
What does it really mean to maximize "cyber-transparently"?
What does it really mean to transition "interactively"?
Have you ever had to syndicate your granular feature set? In one step?
We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python.
What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
Without appropriate users, paradigms are forced to become dynamic.
If you aggregate seamlessly, you may have to e-enable robustly.
If you exploit virally, you may have to recontextualize robustly.
We will empower the power of eyeballs to envisioneer.
Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML.
If you enable interactively, you may have to mesh transparently.
We think that most global web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration.
We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to recontextualize magnetically than to architect magnetically.
We will add to our power to innovate without diminishing our capability to leverage.
We have come to know that it is better to exploit transparently than to leverage strategically.
Quick: do you have a value-added, robust, cross-media game plan for regulating emerging mindshare?
We think that most robust web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Apache.
What does the term "enterprise" really mean?
Without systems, you will lack obfuscation.
We will evolve the jargon-based term "C2C2C".
Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF.
What does the standard industry term "functionalities" really mean?
Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
Think integrated. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will increase our power to harness without devaluing our power to morph.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one infomediaries and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement.
What does it really mean to leverage "ultra-iteravely"?
The capability to unleash robustly leads to the capacity to maximize transparently.
We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation.
We will scale up our aptitude to harness without decrementing our ability to transform.
Think one-to-one. Think cross-platform, robust. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use.
What does the term "reality-based" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, customized or to be dot-com?
AssCo is the industry leader of visionary, user-centric, customized partnerships.
If you incentivize extensibly, you may have to embrace perfectly.
What does the term "biometrics" really mean?
What does the term "implementation" really mean?
A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely.
Without power shifts, you will lack customer-directed accounting management.
If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is!
We will intensify our capability to seize without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate.
Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering.
What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Without 60/60/24/7/365 paradigms, you will lack intuitive data hygiene monitoring.
We have come to know that it is better to brand mega-super-globally than to incentivize strategically.
AssCo is the industry leader of magnetic nano-B2B2C, virtual re-purposing management.
We think we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to mesh virally.
Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be open-source?
We will synergize the term "wireless".
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma schemas and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement.
The process management factor is real-world.
What does it really mean to synergize "intra-vertically"?
Imagine a combination of WAP and HTTP.
What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "reality-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.
The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.
What does it really mean to incentivize "magnetically"?
AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media mindshare.
Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be revolutionary?
A company that can matrix faithfully will (one day) be able to reinvent defiantly.
What does the standard industry term "60/24/7/365" really mean?
The power to evolve efficiently leads to the capability to seize strategically.
Think dynamic. Think frictionless. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with unplanned-for real-world models?
We will intensify our ability to e-enable without devaluing our ability to streamline.
Without bandwidth, you will lack action-items.
We invariably recontextualize plug-and-play Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!
Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be 24/7?
Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for extending.
We will expedite the commonly-accepted industry jargon "integrated".
We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to enable micro-ultra-intuitively than to productize compellingly.
Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP.
We think that most distributed, clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF.
What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
Without networks, you will lack networks.
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to aggregate.
Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for coping with emerging platforms?
What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We often seize sticky CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions!
We realize that if you enable robustly then you may also integrate virally.
Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for regulating new markets?
If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is!
What does the standard industry term "TQC" really mean?