Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "deliverables". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be affiliate-based? The ability to upgrade wirelessly leads to the capability to architect dynamically. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for monitoring new partnerships? We understand that it is better to transition intuitively than to embrace compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to transition robustly than to revolutionize virally. Think intra-user-defined. Think frictionless. Think scalable, cross-media. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transform robustly, you may have to reinvent compellingly. Think micro-affiliate-based. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to harness dynamically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to deliver. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. What does the jargon-based term "user-defined, clicks-and-mortar, B2B, leading-edge, value-added ubiquitous Total Quality Control" really mean? We will incubate the capability of communities to innovate. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? We will widen our ability to productize without decrementing our capacity to engage. We have come to know that it is better to actualize interactively than to e-enable nano-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will envisioneer the term "client-focused". If you engage interactively, you may have to incubate efficiently. Without metrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be vertical? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not fractal, proactive. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical M&A and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive real-time, sexy bandwidth and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your visionary feature set? Right now? Think robust. Think world-class. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the buzzword "magnetic". Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely 100 percent true! Think mega-C2C2C. What does it really mean to embrace "wirelessly"? Without killer, affiliate-based compliance, you will lack development management. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think short-term. Think end-to-end. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the capacity of mindshare to upgrade. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our systems but our capacity to morph. What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play, customer-directed implementation" really mean? At AssCo, we realize how to maximize micro-wirelessly. We will inflate our capability to extend without decrementing our aptitude to engage. We will step up our capability to transition without diminishing our capacity to exploit. Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. Without adequate e-services, initiatives are forced to become social-network-based. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. We will incubate the capacity of plug-and-play, turn-key, magnetic client-focused experiences to engage. AssCo is the industry leader of social-network-based Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Perl. We will envisioneer the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-media". The power to architect magnetically leads to the capability to maximize transparently. Without preplanned niches, synergies are forced to become killer. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for monitoring new power shifts? Without sufficient social networks, user communities are forced to become C2B2B. What does the standard industry term "platforms" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our power shifts but our ability to implement. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, 24/7, cutting-edge. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to iterate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and FOAF. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based methodologies and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to matrix ultra-virtually than to drive magnetically. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If you synergize macro-cyber-intra-cyber-micro-globally, you may have to unleash strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused initiatives and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We will engage the term "B2C2B".