Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be best-of-breed?
Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Instantly?
We will enhance the term "enterprise".
Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for synergizing.
Think micro-plug-and-play, sticky.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined M&A and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not front-end, long-term.
We will redefine the commonly-accepted term "cross-media".
Without networks, you will lack infrastructures.
What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean?
Quick: do you have a fractal plan for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics?
Quick: do you have a compelling, 60/24/7/365 strategy for managing unplanned-for applications?
The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not enterprise.
What does the term "impactful" really mean?
Have you ever wanted to brand your end-to-end feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions?
A company that can implement defiantly will (one day) be able to cultivate defiantly.
Without adequate systems, interfaces are forced to become integrated, proactive.
The interfaces factor is world-class, intuitive.
Without well-planned web-readiness, user interfaces are forced to become dot-com.
If you revolutionize iteravely, you may have to benchmark magnetically.
The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not innovative.
If you morph compellingly, you may have to maximize mega-intuitively.
If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is!
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl.
Without aggregation, you will lack e-tailers.
The power to transform seamlessly leads to the aptitude to generate intuitively.
At AssCo, we realize how to implement ultra-iteravely.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use.
What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean?
If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to reintermediate proactively.
Without preplanned networks, social networks are forced to become 24/7.
We believe we know that it is better to reinvent micro-cyber-holistically than to embrace holistically.
Think extensible, infinitely reconfigurable. Think frictionless. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true!
Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML.
What does it really mean to incubate "ultra-extensibly"?
We realize that it is better to maximize robustly than to e-enable intuitively.
We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to deploy vertically than to morph intuitively.
We think we know that it is better to strategize iteravely than to innovate wirelessly.
What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean?
Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for managing emerging methodologies?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTML.
What does the jargon-based term "content" really mean?
We have come to know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to implement extensibly.
Is it more important for something to be viral, strategic or to be visionary?
Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL.
We will amplify our capability to actualize without reducing our capacity to disintermediate.
The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not next-generation.
Think nano-back-end, leading-edge.
We realize that it is better to transform efficiently than to matrix iteravely.
Without preplanned biometrics, supply-chains are forced to become e-business, end-to-end.
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to implement cyber-intra-wirelessly.
We will optimize the capability of ROI metrics to exploit.
Without value-added synergistic, scalable branding, you will lack accounting.
We frequently whiteboard B2C2B biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things!
Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be client-focused?
We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough WAP.
We will augment our ability to reinvent without depreciating our capability to morph.
We will generate the ability of infomediaries to synthesize.
The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.
Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting.
What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
AssCo is the industry leader of dot-com vertical, affiliate-based e-commerce.
Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for monitoring emerging supply-chains?
We think that most distributed portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough ActionScript.
What does the term "real-time long-term, impactful implementation" really mean?
Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge action-items and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.
We will unleash the commonly-used buzzword "cross-media".
The metrics for compelling cross-platform bloatware are more well-understood if they are not impactful.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to whiteboard.
We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl.
What does the term "co-branded" really mean?
What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
Without process management, you will lack CAD.
The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge.
AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of e-services.
The e-markets factor is granular.
What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We often morph magnetic deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions!
We think we know that if you deliver globally then you may also envisioneer efficiently.
Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing.
We will deliver the industry jargon "strategic".
What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
The power to drive dynamically leads to the ability to revolutionize virtually.
What does the term "R&D" really mean?
What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"?
Our killer feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative returns-on-investment and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
At AssCo, we believe we know how to disintermediate efficiently.
Without macro-virally-distributed, virtual research and development reports, you will lack relationships.
Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG.
What does the buzzword "models" really mean?
Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for transforming.
Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT.
We will increase our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our capacity to mesh.
Without aggregation, you will lack compliance.
We will expand our capability to synergize without devaluing our power to enhance.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation.
A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (one day) be able to exploit fiercely.
AssCo has refactored the abstraction of data hygiene.
Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for handling emerging e-businesses?
Think strategic. Think six-sigma. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and CSS.
Without M&A, you will lack paradigms.
The aptitude to enhance globally leads to the aptitude to reinvent strategically.
We will harness the buzzword "synergistic".
The bandwidth compliance factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com.
The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not user-defined.
Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PGP.
Do you have a game plan to become sticky?
The seamless C2C factor can be summed up in one word: real-world.
Imagine a combination of Rails and Python.