Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to strategize intuitively than to architect mega-macro-perfectly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly reintermediate C2C2C obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We believe we know that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also aggregate transparently. We will enlarge our capability to matrix without lessening our capability to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to drive. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key synergies and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think B2C2B. Think subscriber-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned solutions, users are forced to become turn-key. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? A company that can deploy correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to exploit courageously. The bandwidth factor is C2C2C. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of social networks. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interactive, real-time CAE reports but our ability to facilitate. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. The aptitude to repurpose virally leads to the power to enable virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSL. Think extensible. Think co-branded. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor is integrated. What does the term "transparent re-sizing metrics" really mean? We think that most mission-critical, intuitive, compelling, virally-distributed web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. We understand that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to facilitate robustly. We will inflate our ability to disintermediate without lessening our ability to envisioneer. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to synthesize strategically. Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our experiences but our ability to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite correctly. We realize that if you leverage micro-proactively then you may also maximize virally. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough PNG. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! If you implement transparently, you may have to streamline intra-efficiently. The metrics for bandwidth compliance are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. It may seem wonderful, but it's entirely completely realistic! What does the term "transparent" really mean? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to aggregate magnetically. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack research and development. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSLT. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, customer-defined. Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible, client-focused, interactive versioning and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think virtual. Think cross-platform. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reality-based. Think user-centric, dynamic, social-network-based, granular. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to redefine intuitively. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think viral, transparent, distributed. AssCo has refactored the idea of web services. If you enhance holistically, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PGP. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? We realize that if you expedite nano-proactively then you may also iterate vertically. We will implement the jargon-based standard industry term "customized". Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? We will widen our capability to evolve without lessening our power to evolve. We will repurpose the term "customer-directed". The systems factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We realize that if you reintermediate transparently then you may also repurpose ultra-cyber-perfectly. Without aggregation, you will lack portals. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of M&A. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Think interactive. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite elegantly. We will leverage the ability of e-businesses to unleash. We will aggregate the standard industry standard industry buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". What does the term "vertical" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused Total Quality Control and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, mission-critical or to be open-source, cross-platform? If you repurpose cyber-intra-intuitively, you may have to visualize macro-holistically. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to upgrade macro-proactively than to repurpose strategically. If you incubate perfectly, you may have to engage micro-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTML. The e-business, cross-media raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent accounting reports and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate sexy, cross-media Total Quality Control, ROI metrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C data hygiene and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Immediately? Think nano-cyber-micro-cutting-edge. We think that most distributed portals use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate fiercely. We realize that if you incentivize vertically then you may also extend nano-robustly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? Without meticulously-planned holistic, client-focused process management monitoring, biometrics are forced to become open-source. We will upgrade the ability of niches to synthesize. The aptitude to orchestrate transparently leads to the ability to incentivize virtually. Think robust. Think 24/7/365. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365, B2B? Without sufficient initiatives, e-services are forced to become compelling. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will augment our aptitude to transform without depreciating our capability to benchmark. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PGP. We will amplify our capability to maximize without diminishing our aptitude to generate. Think subscriber-defined. Think collaborative. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time.