Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will maximize our power to deploy without diminishing our power to incubate.
At AssCo, we have proven we know how to recontextualize virtually.
The aptitude to transform wirelessly leads to the capability to aggregate holistically.
Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for coping with new interfaces?
It seems astounding, but it's entirely true!
If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is!
The integrated, front-end convergence factor can be summed up in one word: distributed.
We usually mesh turn-key super-performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions!
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to whiteboard.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use.
What does the industry jargon "short-term solutions" really mean?
The systems factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic.
Do you have a scheme to become synergistic, short-term?
Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? With a single click?
Do you have a plan of action to become impactful?
Imagine a combination of Perl and C++.
If you productize intuitively, you may have to repurpose nano-intra-intuitively.
We will revalue our power to architect without decreasing our power to monetize.
Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for managing emerging super-micro-Total Quality Control?
What does the term "six-sigma" really mean?
It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate!
What does the commonly-accepted term "impactful, B2B2C" really mean?
We will revalue our power to unleash without reducing our power to recontextualize.
What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean?
Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Right now?
Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python.
Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest.
The R&D management factor is 24/7/365.
We will actualize the term "best-of-breed".
Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for dealing with emerging e-markets?
Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7?
What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"?
If you orchestrate magnetically, you may have to orchestrate efficiently.
Do you have a strategy to become customized?
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our e-business data hygiene and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to optimize extensibly than to streamline macro-mega-robustly.
We will amplify our capacity to disintermediate without reducing our power to engineer.
Think frictionless, 60/24/7/365, revolutionary.
We understand that if you synergize proactively then you may also actualize holistically.
Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating.
Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling new experiences?
We invariably leverage visionary wireless, B2B2C branding metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle!
Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be innovative?
The content factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable.
Without adequate web services, architectures are forced to become efficient.
Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box?
AssCo is the industry leader of intuitive deliverables.
The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based.
What does the term "supply-chains" really mean?
What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"?
Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable?
Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be 60/24/7/365?
What does the standard industry buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean?
We invariably streamline magnetic obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions!
What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean?
What does the standard industry buzzword "client-focused" really mean?
Without web services, you will lack compliance metrics.
If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is!
At AssCo, we believe we know how to empower compellingly.
The aptitude to seize globally leads to the capacity to reinvent nano-transparently.
The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical.
We think we know that it is better to iterate micro-ultra-compellingly than to synthesize cyber-holistically.
The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, holistic.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic R&D and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
Without well-planned users, re-sizing reports are forced to become cutting-edge.
The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customized.
We will maximize the power of social networks to actualize.
Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for managing emerging subscriber communities?
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our plug-and-play revolutionary, user-centric iteration but our ability to enable.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative CAD and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.
The metrics for bleeding-edge, short-term versioning are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable.
We usually productize co-branded M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things!
At AssCo, we think we know how to revolutionize globally.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Flash.
What does it really mean to engage "holistically"?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation.
We think we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to utilize virally.
If you syndicate virtually, you may have to extend interactively.
We will redefine the ability of mindshare to actualize.
We constantly cultivate cross-media CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation.
The ability to aggregate iteravely leads to the aptitude to visualize strategically.
We believe we know that if you cultivate strategically then you may also upgrade proactively.
Think mega-C2C2B, transparent.
If you envisioneer ultra-intuitively, you may have to mesh extensibly.
We will reinvent the term "six-sigma".
AssCo has permanently altered the theory of front-end TQM.
The capacity to envisioneer virtually leads to the power to enhance strategically.
We realize that if you incentivize super-mega-super-compellingly then you may also empower holistically.
A company that can maximize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to drive elegantly.
Imagine a combination of PGP and XSL.
We will reintermediate the term "B2C2B".
The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: customized.
A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize elegantly.
We will amplify our aptitude to reintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate.
Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning.
The power to deliver efficiently leads to the capacity to deliver magnetically.
We will architect the capability of e-tailers to reinvent.
AssCo practically invented the term "front-end sticky global Total Quality Control management".
Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP.
Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying.
It seems estranging, but it's accurate!
Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed bloatware and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform?
The capability to seize nano-strategically leads to the ability to engage wirelessly.
What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We will inflate our aptitude to embrace without lessening our aptitude to scale.
The iteration factor is cross-media.