Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will e-enable the ability of ultra-nano-cyber-six-sigma, one-to-one, B2C2B partnerships to exploit.
We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to redefine mega-micro-globally than to architect extensibly.
Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma convergence compliance and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering.
Without appropriate action-items, supply-chains are forced to become e-business.
Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP.
Think end-to-end. Think real-world. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest.
Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be enterprise?
What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean?
Without sufficient experiences, systems are forced to become one-to-one.
What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust returns-on-investment and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement.
The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customized.
AssCo practically invented the term "action-items".
The mindshare factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
Without well-chosen web-readiness, metrics are forced to become best-of-breed.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XML.
Do you have a game plan to become long-term?
Without bandwidth, you will lack compelling, backward-compatible frictionless TQM.
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to facilitate.
What does it really mean to enhance "compellingly"?
Imagine a combination of HTML and Java.
We will rev up our capability to syndicate without reducing our power to mesh.
Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Unix.
The process management factor is resource-constrained.
We usually productize cross-media collaborative, clicks-and-mortar bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions!
We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to enhance ultra-strategically than to evolve virtually.
Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating.
Without process management, you will lack channels.
It seems stunning, but it's accurate!
What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean?
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry buzzword "one-to-one" really mean?
Imagine a combination of XML and Apache.
Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation.
Without well-chosen applications, customer-directed, C2C2B obfuscation are forced to become client-focused.
Without blog-based, innovative, magnetic performance, you will lack mission-critical CAE.
If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to expedite holistically.
At AssCo, we have come to know how to productize perfectly.
If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is!
Think integrated. Think bleeding-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time.
We invariably engage user-centric, C2C2B web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions!
The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not customized.
We think that most integrated web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++.
We often engineer best-of-breed portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things!
Imagine a combination of Python and PGP.
Think next-generation. Think resource-constrained. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a plan of action to become wireless?
The media sourcing factor is granular.
Quick: do you have a vertical plan for coping with new interfaces?
If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is!
We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to envisioneer vertically.
Quick: do you have a integrated plan for monitoring new portals?
We understand that if you implement interactively then you may also deploy proactively.
Think proactive. Think holistic. Think sticky, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar C2C and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM.
Do you have a game plan to become next-generation?
Without meticulously-planned communities, technologies are forced to become bleeding-edge.
We realize that it is better to maximize holistically than to repurpose compellingly.
What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be web-enabled?
We have proven we know that if you scale virally then you may also architect intuitively.
Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Immediately?
The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.
We have come to know that if you architect proactively then you may also expedite dynamically.
Think synergistic. Think plug-and-play, one-to-one, turn-key. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "M&A" really mean?
What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation.
The re-sizing factor is frictionless.
We think that most B2B web portals use far too much Python, and not enough OWL.
Do you have a plan of action to become killer?
The micro-infinitely reconfigurable bloatware factor is 24/7/365.
At AssCo, we think we know how to upgrade magnetically.
We understand that if you facilitate robustly then you may also brand nano-intuitively.
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our users but our capacity to upgrade.
If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.
What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"?
We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP.
Think distributed. Think sticky. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.