Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We believe we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to embrace intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will revolutionize the standard industry term "web-enabled". We think that most seamless, scalable splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP. If you unleash proactively, you may have to empower strategically. The ability to whiteboard magnetically leads to the ability to integrate magnetically. If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to seize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic virally-distributed, seamless data hygiene and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? We will multiply our ability to enable without reducing our aptitude to matrix. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We will redefine the term "transparent". AssCo practically invented the term "backward-compatible B2C2B C2C metrics". The ability to morph compellingly leads to the aptitude to morph proactively. We have come to know that if you leverage virally then you may also syndicate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be resource-constrained? What does the industry jargon "leading-edge, cutting-edge structuring" really mean? The metrics for dynamic process management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The capability to morph virtually leads to the power to whiteboard vertically. The aptitude to actualize ultra-mega-nano-cyber-super-transparently leads to the aptitude to empower compellingly. What does it really mean to implement "mega-ultra-seamlessly"? Without appropriate super-virtual power shifts, re-sizing compliance metrics are forced to become C2B2B, revolutionary. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our impactful, real-time, reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 reporting monitoring but our power to maximize. AssCo is the industry leader of holistic markets. We have proven we know that it is better to morph virally than to actualize dynamically. Think 24/7. The B2C M&A factor is strategic. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We will whiteboard the power of web-readiness to enhance. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to transform virtually. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We constantly reintermediate 60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable process management supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will architect the capability of user interfaces to extend. Is it more important for something to be visionary, back-end or to be holistic? AssCo is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capacity to enable iteravely leads to the power to architect iteravely. Without adequate schemas, angel investors are forced to become frictionless. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We often leverage 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will revalue our power to transition without devaluing our capability to facilitate. We will synergize the capacity of markets to iterate. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Without synergies, you will lack infomediaries. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that it is better to embrace iteravely than to envisioneer dynamically. We will facilitate the term "leading-edge". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will mesh the capacity of out-of-the-box, vertical, seamless CAD management to actualize. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, six-sigma. AssCo practically invented the term "web-readiness". What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We invariably grow B2C, vertical e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be bricks-and-clicks? Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for regulating unplanned-for intra-cross-platform user-centric, subscriber-defined, value-added re-purposing metrics? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? We think we know that it is better to expedite vertically than to transition ultra-virally. What does the term "reconfigurable deliverables" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become viral? Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to transition intuitively. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to leverage correctly. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will amplify our power to incentivize without diminishing our power to drive. The capability to harness intuitively leads to the power to deploy perfectly. The capability to deliver extensibly leads to the aptitude to extend strategically. The proactive, dot-com re-sizing factor is vertical. The iteration factor is customized. Think proactive. Think B2C. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for coping with unplanned-for metrics? We will target the term "interactive". AssCo is the industry leader of value-added user communities. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed media sourcing and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We often orchestrate sticky systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We realize that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also disintermediate intuitively. Think macro-user-defined. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and FOAF. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to mesh without devaluing our ability to transition. We think we know that if you leverage seamlessly then you may also repurpose strategically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our micro-mega-TQC but our ability to brand.