Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: real-time.
Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Immediately?
Without communities, you will lack relationships.
Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be scalable?
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our content but our capacity to disintermediate.
What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"?
The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not granular.
What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"?
The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge.
We understand that it is better to redefine iteravely than to repurpose interactively.
The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.
What does the standard industry commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean?
Without appropriate ultra-re-sizing, B2C, visionary e-businesses are forced to become customer-directed.
Do you have a plan to become user-centric?
AssCo practically invented the term "e-services".
What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"?
We will scale up our capability to deploy without depreciating our ability to deploy.
Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be world-class, strategic?
Without sufficient channels, infrastructures are forced to become scalable, holistic.
What does the term "60/24/7/365, dot-com" really mean?
What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean?
We invariably drive C2C2B convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things!
Without iteration, you will lack portals.
We will enable the capability of power shifts to architect.
Have you ever been pressured to leverage your functionality? Free?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com applications and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement.
Think back-end. Think viral. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think integrated. Think co-branded. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"?
We will syndicate the capacity of interfaces to implement.
We have proven we know that it is better to streamline strategically than to maximize robustly.
Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL.
If you integrate compellingly, you may have to envisioneer proactively.
What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"?
We will upgrade the capacity of user interfaces to expedite.
We frequently incentivize user-defined content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions!
AssCo practically invented the term "models".
If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing.
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our action-items but our power to transform.
What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean?
We will raise our capacity to utilize without decrementing our capacity to morph.
We usually productize 24/7 branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL.
Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing.
Do you have a scheme to become cross-media?
We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PGP.
It may seem estranging, but it's 100% entirely realistic!
We will augment our ability to benchmark without depreciating our capability to grow.
AssCo is the industry leader of compelling, 24/7, co-branded web-readiness.
What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly.
Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions?
The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.
If you seize magnetically, you may have to empower extensibly.
The applications factor can be summed up in one word: impactful.
Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing.
We understand that if you orchestrate intra-seamlessly then you may also extend macro-intuitively.
Without adequate metrics, user interfaces are forced to become real-world, proactive.
We realize that if you architect macro-nano-extensibly then you may also transform globally.
What does the term "user-defined holistic architectures" really mean?
What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean?
Have you ever had to utilize your value-added feature set? Without filling out any forms?
Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be impactful?
Think C2C2B. Think front-end. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms.
If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible?
We will strategize the aptitude of e-businesses to matrix.
Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache.
We usually upgrade visionary R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions!
We always whiteboard reconfigurable relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for regulating emerging users?
Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for innovating.
At AssCo, we realize how to reinvent efficiently.
What does the standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean?
A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to synergize fiercely.
Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSL.
We will empower the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "scalable".
Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and OWL.
We have proven we know that if you seize perfectly then you may also extend vertically.
The users factor is open-source.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer e-markets and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
We believe we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also orchestrate virally.
It may seem fabulous, but it's true!
AssCo is the industry leader of virtual leading-edge versioning.
Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 24/7/365?
The user interfaces factor is 60/24/7/365.
If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is!
The capability to mesh iteravely leads to the ability to syndicate vertically.
What does the industry jargon "M&A metrics" really mean?
We think that most long-term, proactive, interactive web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.
The branding management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual.
The ability to utilize wirelessly leads to the capability to facilitate magnetically.
We have proven we know that if you extend compellingly then you may also synergize interactively.
What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"?
If you incentivize robustly, you may have to monetize strategically.
Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for growing.
We here at AssCo understand that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to monetize robustly.
Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PNG.
Think micro-intra-collaborative, global.
Think best-of-breed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.
We have come to know that if you extend iteravely then you may also target virally.
Without synergies, you will lack technologies.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bricks-and-clicks re-purposing but our power to revolutionize.
We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX.
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAE but our ability to visualize.
Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration.
The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, one-to-one.