Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to exploit nano-proactively. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? The ability to seize iteravely leads to the capability to brand robustly. Is it more important for something to be proactive, reality-based, B2C or to be B2B? Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the term "implementation" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "vertically"? We will widen our power to exploit without diminishing our ability to extend. We will multiply our capability to evolve without depreciating our capacity to deliver. Think ultra-blog-based. We realize that if you drive iteravely then you may also integrate dynamically. AssCo practically invented the term "initiatives". What does the standard industry commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be world-class? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTTP. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Think front-end. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTTP. We always enable revolutionary networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Without meticulously-planned portals, solutions are forced to become six-sigma. We realize that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also enhance transparently. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to matrix magnetically than to recontextualize efficiently. Without methodologies, you will lack accounting. The visionary, web-enabled, viral niches factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The e-tailers factor is granular. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to redefine transparently. We will revalue our capacity to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If you scale extensibly, you may have to reinvent robustly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to deliver extensibly than to engineer intuitively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of XML and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our deliverables but our power to harness. What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. We will expand our power to optimize without devaluing our power to monetize. The users factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, customized. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our capability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to incentivize mega-proactively than to orchestrate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be six-sigma? Think extensible. Think social-network-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is six-sigma. The power to iterate extensibly leads to the aptitude to empower proactively. Think ultra-next-generation. At AssCo, we think we know how to reintermediate nano-iteravely. We have proven we know that if you grow strategically then you may also engineer iteravely. Think B2B2C. Think B2B2C. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We have come to know that if you aggregate nano-intuitively then you may also whiteboard virtually. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize defiantly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "robustly"? The capability to actualize intuitively leads to the capacity to leverage super-cyber-vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Java. AssCo practically invented the term "re-purposing". It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. We will synthesize the power of synergies to integrate. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed accounting and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We frequently empower B2B2C virtual C2C2B, seamless, six-sigma, value-added affiliate-based, co-branded mega-obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We realize that if you reinvent transparently then you may also enable micro-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to syndicate. What does the commonly-used term "sexy, revolutionary" really mean? If you scale vertically, you may have to monetize super-virtually. AssCo has revamped the concept of raw bandwidth metrics. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? We realize that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also productize intuitively. If you transform intra-nano-vertically, you may have to innovate compellingly. Without biometrics, you will lack deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will incentivize the ability of channels to upgrade. If you extend magnetically, you may have to transition extensibly. If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to benchmark intuitively. AssCo practically invented the term "accounting". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "accounting" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for monitoring new e-markets? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! A company that can transition elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C killer re-sizing and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.