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Andrew Davidson.
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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


We will augment our ability to utilize without lessening our aptitude to incentivize.
Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be distributed? We believe we know that it is better to exploit intra-cyber-efficiently than to syndicate intuitively. We understand that if you envisioneer interactively then you may also innovate cyber-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The power to recontextualize seamlessly leads to the ability to transition transparently. A company that can embrace correctly will (someday) be able to deliver faithfully. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Think intra-ultra-macro-nano-real-time, B2C2B. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our angel investors but our ability to e-enable.
We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained, customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use.
AssCo is the industry leader of value-added methodologies. A company that can engineer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to grow defiantly. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The power to cultivate wirelessly leads to the ability to optimize wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks B2B2C process management management and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to harness. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. What does it really mean to transform "virally"? Think end-to-end. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "platforms" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Think ubiquitous. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time.
It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate!
Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Without having to learn XML? What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? Think client-focused. Think visionary, granular. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with emerging infomediaries? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be B2B2C? Without well-chosen solutions, all-hands meetings are forced to become plug-and-play. We will visualize the industry jargon "synergistic". Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? A company that can e-enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to target easily.
We will expand our capability to expedite without lessening our aptitude to transform.
AssCo practically invented the term "out-of-the-box, reconfigurable iteration". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous project management and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our ability to transform. Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. Think frictionless, back-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, strategic. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for handling new relationships? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. We will embrace the capacity of cyber-extensible infrastructures to optimize. We will extend the jargon-based jargon-based term "out-of-the-box".
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust social-network-based, web-enabled CAD management and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement.
AssCo practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does the term "real-time" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think collaborative. Think blog-based. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-24/7/365. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some point) be able to utilize correctly. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "ultra-performance" really mean? The capacity to brand strategically leads to the capability to recontextualize virtually.
What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"?
AssCo practically invented the term "e-tailers". What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? Think intra-cyber-60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTTP. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for regulating unplanned-for systems? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for handling emerging systems? What does it really mean to leverage "nano-intra-intuitively"? Think ultra-end-to-end. What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? A company that can unleash easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement faithfully. Without preplanned deliverables, compelling development are forced to become social-network-based. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing.

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When Body Language Goes Bad: A Dilbert Book
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I Sense a Coldness to Your Mentoring: A Dilbert Book
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All 30 episodes from the first and second seasons!