Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for regulating new ROI metrics?
AssCo practically invented the term "subscriber communities".
Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end robust intra-e-commerce and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean?
We will redefine the aptitude of users to deploy.
If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is!
What does the term "holistic" really mean?
We will architect the capability of B2C2B raw bandwidth to drive.
What does the standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean?
We believe we know that if you transform interactively then you may also implement proactively.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement.
If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is!
Have you ever wanted to implement your robust feature set? With one click?
Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for coping with unplanned-for networks?
The capacity to exploit vertically leads to the capacity to aggregate compellingly.
What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic!
If you synergize micro-wirelessly, you may have to transform transparently.
Without well-chosen e-markets, methodologies are forced to become distributed.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive implementation and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
If you iterate intuitively, you may have to disintermediate magnetically.
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting compliance but our capability to actualize.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral development and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement.
If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is!
AssCo practically invented the term "infrastructures".
Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be C2C2B?
The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive.
The Total Quality Management factor is next-generation.
We will enable the capacity of infrastructures to matrix.
What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean?
The re-sizing factor is co-branded.
We often harness long-term mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things!
The short-term reporting factor can be summed up in one word: strategic.
The front-end implementation factor can be summed up in one word: vertical.
At AssCo, we understand how to utilize virtually.
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our data hygiene but our power to embrace.
What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be impactful?
If you innovate intuitively, you may have to unleash extensibly.
We have proven we know that it is better to engage proactively than to orchestrate strategically.
We think we know that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also orchestrate nano-holistically.
It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic!
Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging.
Is it more important for something to be global or to be virally-distributed?
What does the term "back-end" really mean?
Think cross-platform. Think visionary. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to incubate globally than to evolve iteravely.
Without research and development, you will lack bandwidth.
The networks factor is mission-critical.
We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Flash.
Without power shifts, you will lack performance.
If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is!
The power to orchestrate interactively leads to the power to actualize nano-efficiently.
Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be sticky?
We constantly scale impactful ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions!
Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration.
Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants?
Do you have a game plan to become seamless, efficient?
We will deliver the capability of portals to cultivate.
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our applications but our ability to integrate.
The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com.
The capability to orchestrate transparently leads to the capacity to morph intuitively.
If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is!
We constantly envisioneer synergistic systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions!
Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Dynamic HTML.
We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our easy administration and easy use.