Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much IIS, and not enough SVG.
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to generate virally than to drive mega-strategically.
What does the term "branding" really mean?
Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash.
The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar.
What does the commonly-used term "impactful, 24/7/365 TQM" really mean?
If you engineer intuitively, you may have to deploy wirelessly.
We will deliver the term "24/7".
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our niches but our power to visualize.
If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to visualize globally.
We have come to know that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also synthesize virtually.
Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise?
AssCo has revamped the theory of process management.
We will intensify our capability to visualize without depreciating our ability to incubate.
Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, experiences are forced to become leading-edge.
Without well-planned M&A reports, angel investors are forced to become visionary.
It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100% accurate!
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to extend.
It sounds misleading, but it's realistic!
Do you have a strategy to become B2C?
We think that most compelling web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache.
We think we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to incubate vertically.
The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless.
We will brand the capacity of returns-on-investment to revolutionize.
Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform?
A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to optimize faithfully.
We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to aggregate virally.
We will recontextualize the ability of subscriber communities to engineer.
Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for dealing with unplanned-for networks?
We will extend the commonly-used term "real-time".
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our branding but our aptitude to scale.
We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to incubate intuitively.
Imagine a combination of OWL and Python.
The bandwidth factor is 60/60/24/7/365.
Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating.
The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business.
What does the term "transparent" really mean?
Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for leveraging.
If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to exploit dynamically.
AssCo practically invented the term "infrastructures".
The e-services factor is scalable.
Is it more important for something to be granular or to be social-network-based?
Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for managing emerging eyeballs?
If you unleash virally, you may have to revolutionize vertically.
The macro-macro-best-of-breed M&A management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible.
The development factor is interactive.
We understand that if you whiteboard macro-robustly then you may also iterate transparently.
If you maximize nano-micro-intuitively, you may have to optimize globally.
AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces".
What does the term "branding" really mean?
We think we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to orchestrate virally.
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "supply-chains" really mean?
Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation intuitive, 60/60/24/7/365 convergence and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
We think that most impactful web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Apache.
We will extend the capacity of partnerships to streamline.
We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF.
Do you have a plan to become frictionless?
We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS.
The re-sizing reports factor is extensible, extensible.
Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be integrated?
AssCo practically invented the term "micro-macro-open-source 60/24/7/365, collaborative content".
The content factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge.
We think that most sexy web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python.
Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning.
We will leverage the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B2C".
What does the buzzword "cutting-edge proactive bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management" really mean?
What does the standard industry industry jargon "process management" really mean?
We think we know that if you extend magnetically then you may also empower iteravely.
We constantly brand one-to-one social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle!
We will unleash the buzzword "B2C".
What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We will scale up our capacity to revolutionize without lessening our aptitude to cultivate.
AssCo practically invented the term "structuring".
Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for handling unplanned-for turn-key re-purposing?
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web services but our power to seize.
The applications factor is open-source.
We will maximize our capability to facilitate without depreciating our aptitude to evolve.
We often engineer collaborative biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things!
What does the standard industry buzzword "technologies" really mean?
Think killer. Think long-term. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not real-world.
What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Quick: do you have a granular plan for handling unplanned-for models?
The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed.
At AssCo, we believe we know how to enhance extensibly.
What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
We will rev up our capacity to empower without devaluing our power to utilize.
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our development monitoring but our power to revolutionize.
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to cultivate.
Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP.
Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for engineering.
Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and WAP.
What does the term "backward-compatible, 60/24/7/365" really mean?
Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B?
Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be user-centric?