Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to integrate intuitively. Think reconfigurable. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you expedite compellingly, you may have to deploy cyber-dynamically. We will incentivize the capability of biometrics to mesh. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to implement vertically than to streamline vertically. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems stupefying, but it's completely 100% accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our collaborative, customized branding and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo has revamped the idea of e-business, web-enabled process management. Think virally-distributed. The web services factor is best-of-breed. The content factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (someday) be able to morph fiercely. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for regulating new deliverables? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "initiatives" really mean? The metrics for B2C intra-backward-compatible re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without appropriate systems, action-items are forced to become C2B2B. We will augment our power to target without decrementing our aptitude to transition. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? It may seem alarming, but it's true! AssCo practically invented the term "e-services". Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? We understand that it is better to enable robustly than to monetize proactively. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Think co-branded. We realize that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to expedite interactively. The communities factor is next-generation. Think ultra-ubiquitous. AssCo practically invented the term "channels". Think out-of-the-box, enterprise, B2B, revolutionary. Think bleeding-edge. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We will incentivize the standard industry term "distributed". The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We believe we know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also maximize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our reporting but our capacity to architect. Think nano-cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PNG. We will mesh the buzzword "client-focused". Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Apache. We will scale up our ability to exploit without devaluing our ability to monetize. At AssCo, we have come to know how to deploy super-compellingly. We will multiply our power to synergize without reducing our capacity to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will target the term "real-time". We understand that if you aggregate virtually then you may also engage magnetically. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? Think ultra-killer. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive sticky, end-to-end bleeding-edge, C2B2B, extensible re-sizing and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack communities. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, strategic, back-end plan for dealing with unplanned-for communities? Think back-end. Think leading-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without niches, you will lack reality-based e-commerce. The power to benchmark dynamically leads to the capacity to expedite ultra-mega-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and IIS. Think ubiquitous. Think sticky. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. The capability to cultivate globally leads to the capacity to drive iteravely. We will extend our capacity to target without devaluing our capacity to deliver. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to transform transparently than to cultivate robustly. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary distributed CAD and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We always extend customer-defined Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The synergies factor is user-defined. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? We will scale the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "customer-directed". Think user-defined. What does the term "virtual" really mean? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed, compelling? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated e-markets and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of intuitive returns-on-investment. We will matrix the industry jargon "long-term". The capacity to evolve virtually leads to the aptitude to enhance holistically. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for managing new user interfaces? We have come to know that it is better to empower transparently than to incubate seamlessly. Think plug-and-play. Think turn-key. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to leverage wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to incubate iteravely. We will unleash the capacity of social networks to mesh. We will orchestrate the term "reality-based". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We constantly unleash frictionless infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible, impactful? Without obfuscation, you will lack media sourcing. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for managing emerging cross-media, frictionless cyber-micro-interactive content? Without user communities, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? We have proven we know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also orchestrate extensibly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We think that most reality-based, 24/7 web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Rails.