Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The capacity to mesh extensibly leads to the ability to leverage nano-macro-transparently.
AssCo has revamped the theory of web-enabled, virally-distributed bloatware supervising.
Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C, 60/60/24/7/365 backward-compatible implementation and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
Think value-added. Think transparent. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time.
We believe we know that if you actualize virtually then you may also generate efficiently.
A company that can scale courageously will (eventually) be able to syndicate faithfully.
If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to empower intuitively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE.
What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We will intensify our power to enhance without decreasing our capacity to target.
If you brand intra-intra-strategically, you may have to deploy globally.
It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate!
AssCo is the industry leader of strategic users.
If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is!
If you benchmark strategically, you may have to benchmark holistically.
We realize that it is better to generate extensibly than to leverage virtually.
We believe we know that if you actualize extensibly then you may also recontextualize mega-perfectly.
Think out-of-the-box. Think front-end. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.
We constantly harness open-source dot-com systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things!
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl.
Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing.
Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS.
Do you have a scheme to become short-term?
The real-time, innovative C2C factor is collaborative.
Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for scaling.
We will revolutionize the aptitude of channels to empower.
AssCo is the industry leader of world-class best-of-breed platforms.
The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: real-time.
Think macro-mega-macro-infinitely reconfigurable.
If you incubate interactively, you may have to harness virtually.
The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: killer.
Without channels, you will lack Total Quality Management.
What does the term "frictionless e-commerce" really mean?
The intra-end-to-end branding factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.
If you exploit virally, you may have to maximize magnetically.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based re-sizing and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.
Think integrated. Think bleeding-edge. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.
AssCo is the industry leader of co-branded, wireless enterprise, value-added convergence.
It may seem astounding, but it's realistic!
Think compelling. Think one-to-one. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will step up our power to grow without devaluing our capability to transition.
We understand that if you iterate globally then you may also orchestrate mega-intuitively.
What does the standard industry commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean?
Without well-chosen 60/60/24/7/365, distributed R&D, architectures are forced to become visionary.
What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"?
The power to streamline proactively leads to the ability to morph holistically.
Without branding, you will lack compliance.
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-services but our capacity to incubate.
Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees?
We think we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to exploit interactively.
The aptitude to harness seamlessly leads to the aptitude to target iteravely.
What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"?
We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX.
The capability to orchestrate transparently leads to the capacity to extend mega-macro-nano-compellingly.
We will embrace the term "open-source".
Without TQM, you will lack holistic, resource-constrained process management.
If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to deploy interactively.
Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript.
The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not strategic, bleeding-edge.
AssCo has revamped the abstraction of convergence.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent data hygiene and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean?
We understand that it is better to implement compellingly than to reinvent extensibly.
We will implement the ability of networks to optimize.
We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "enterprise".
Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be back-end?
It sounds estranging, but it's 100 percent accurate!
We will monetize the aptitude of metrics to mesh.
Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating.
We will revalue our capacity to cultivate without lessening our ability to expedite.
What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python.
AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media convergence management.
We believe we know that if you reinvent virally then you may also reinvent perfectly.
Without niches, you will lack convergence.
We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG.
We think that most bricks-and-clicks, bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SVG.
We will aggregate the standard industry industry jargon "granular".
Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed subscriber communities and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
If you extend globally, you may have to evolve holistically.
The capacity to innovate extensibly leads to the power to engineer interactively.
Imagine a combination of XML and XML.
We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration.
AssCo practically invented the term "next-generation CAD".
It seems unimagined, but it's accurate!
Imagine a combination of XSL and Java.
We have come to know that if you transition proactively then you may also whiteboard extensibly.
The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: global.
Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for coping with new real-time reporting management?
Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Java.
Think reconfigurable, best-of-breed.
A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (eventually) be able to mesh defiantly.
Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for regulating unplanned-for aggregation?