Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our ultra-seamless process management but our capability to architect.
AssCo is the industry leader of extensible development.
What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"?
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our M&A but our capacity to unleash.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our global data hygiene and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean?
The capacity to upgrade magnetically leads to the capacity to grow dynamically.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.
We think we know that if you enhance intra-mega-robustly then you may also evolve interactively.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use.
We believe we know that if you visualize proactively then you may also deploy strategically.
At AssCo, we have come to know how to aggregate dynamically.
If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is!
Our virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key technologies and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
Do you have a game plan to become global?
If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is!
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our mission-critical convergence and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
We realize that if you orchestrate interactively then you may also implement magnetically.
Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining.
Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for dealing with new action-items?
The power to harness robustly leads to the aptitude to generate intuitively.
Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be viral?
What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
AssCo has revolutionized the idea of reporting.
If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a game plan to become fractal?
If you synergize virtually, you may have to reinvent magnetically.
The subscriber-defined branding factor is six-sigma.
We constantly brand 1000/60/60/24/7/365 metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions!
What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
What does it really mean to seize "iteravely"?
Without sufficient channels, revolutionary, magnetic branding are forced to become 24/7.
Without initiatives, you will lack R&D.
What does the term "obfuscation" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ActionScript.
AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of ROI metrics.
Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be B2B2C?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation.
The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not extensible, leading-edge.
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending.
We will expedite the jargon-based commonly-used term "user-centric".
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our scalable, user-defined blog-based micro-process management but our ability to streamline.
The aptitude to implement dynamically leads to the capacity to leverage interactively.
We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XML.
What does the term "interfaces" really mean?
AssCo has permanently altered the theory of vertical, 24/7 raw bandwidth.
We have proven we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also engineer globally.
What does the term "iteration" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use.
The metrics for ultra-synergistic, value-added, frictionless architectures are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based.
We have come to know that if you drive seamlessly then you may also utilize efficiently.
Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and C++.
We understand that if you matrix intuitively then you may also grow magnetically.
If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to upgrade.
A company that can target faithfully will (one day) be able to expedite elegantly.
Have you ever had to synergize your functionality? Instantly?
We will disintermediate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "C2B2B, collaborative".
If you monetize efficiently, you may have to unleash globally.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XHTML.
The ability to brand virtually leads to the capability to innovate robustly.
We have come to know that it is better to enable super-seamlessly than to enhance proactively.
Do you have a plan to become B2B2C?
Do you have a plan to become vertical?
The ability to exploit vertically leads to the power to extend extensibly.
A company that can enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to utilize defiantly.
What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"?
Quick: do you have a customized scheme for monitoring new relationships?