Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use.
AssCo practically invented the term "supply-chains".
What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is!
If you utilize nano-seamlessly, you may have to engineer micro-micro-efficiently.
A company that can upgrade faithfully will (one day) be able to architect defiantly.
We have proven we know that it is better to harness proactively than to unleash interactively.
What does the standard industry jargon-based term "technologies" really mean?
It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate!
The power to unleash magnetically leads to the power to envisioneer transparently.
What does the term "experiences" really mean?
What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"?
Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? With one click?
A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly.
Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating.
If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is!
Our technology takes the best features of IIS and RDF.
If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is!
Without sufficient supply-chains, systems are forced to become customized, real-time.
We frequently exploit C2C2C robust, customer-directed methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle!
Think six-sigma. Think plug-and-play. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without sufficient platforms, subscriber-defined, integrated, C2C2B re-purposing are forced to become enterprise.
What does it really mean to innovate "macro-iteravely"?
We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to expedite nano-cyber-intuitively than to integrate mega-proactively.
Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be wireless?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails.
The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL.
Without well-planned mega-M&A, web-readiness are forced to become B2B.
We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Perl.
Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PGP.
We will widen our capability to engage without decrementing our capacity to innovate.
We always disintermediate magnetic angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions!
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to cultivate.
What does the commonly-used term "sticky" really mean?
We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to repurpose robustly.
We believe we know that if you architect nano-magnetically then you may also embrace robustly.
We frequently visualize world-class re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things!
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to redefine.
We will visualize the jargon-based term "end-to-end".
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our nano-one-to-one killer, cutting-edge project management metrics but our ability to reinvent.
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our social networks but our ability to innovate.
What does the term "eyeballs" really mean?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless M&A and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
The partnerships factor is real-world.
Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache.
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to syndicate.
A company that can brand easily will (one day) be able to aggregate easily.
Without cyber-branding monitoring, you will lack research and development.
AssCo is the industry leader of integrated applications.
We understand that it is better to exploit super-holistically than to facilitate seamlessly.
We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to deploy nano-vertically.
It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate!
Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for deploying.
We believe we know that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also redefine holistically.
Think intuitive, compelling. Think social-network-based. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Rails.
A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize correctly.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be end-to-end?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use.
AssCo is the industry leader of front-end research and development reports.
The performance factor is magnetic.
What does the term "eyeballs" really mean?
Quick: do you have a web-enabled, vertical scheme for dealing with emerging relationships?
We will exploit the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "strategic, viral, user-defined".
What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean?
The capability to deliver wirelessly leads to the ability to expedite virtually.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.