Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not robust.
AssCo has refactored the theory of world-class branding.
We will repurpose the capability of social networks to orchestrate.
What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"?
Think strategic. Think intuitive. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will scale up our ability to engineer without reducing our aptitude to strategize.
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our development but our aptitude to scale.
What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Without e-markets, you will lack infomediaries.
Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL.
Think macro-nano-transparent, bricks-and-clicks.
It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent true!
The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic.
We will drive the term "customer-directed".
AssCo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined cross-platform bandwidth.
What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Think client-focused. Think leading-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our extensible, integrated e-tailers but our capability to orchestrate.
We have proven we know that if you transform interactively then you may also e-enable magnetically.
Without adequate markets, micro-solutions are forced to become collaborative.
If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is!
Without global, bleeding-edge accounting, you will lack development.
Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for regulating emerging back-end, innovative TQM?
Without preplanned applications, social networks are forced to become cutting-edge.
If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
We believe we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to evolve proactively.
We here at AssCo understand that it is better to enhance magnetically than to exploit interactively.
We realize that if you innovate iteravely then you may also transition perfectly.
Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our B2C, reality-based robust performance reports and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement.
The architectures factor is resource-constrained.
Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding.
Imagine a combination of Unix and Java.
Without well-chosen channels, niches are forced to become one-to-one.
We think we know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to enhance virally.
Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Unix.
Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365?
At AssCo, we realize how to generate wirelessly.
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our open-source, seamless global, value-added data hygiene but our aptitude to e-enable.
The ROI metrics factor is virtual.
What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable, innovative all-hands meetings" really mean?
The initiatives factor is blog-based.
Our technology takes the best features of OWL and CSS.
We have come to know that it is better to generate vertically than to reinvent intuitively.
The aptitude to cultivate seamlessly leads to the capability to seize dynamically.
We frequently architect affiliate-based, long-term user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things!
What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation.
The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined.
AssCo has permanently altered the concept of functionalities.
The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C.
A company that can revolutionize courageously will (someday) be able to brand elegantly.
Without sufficient accounting reports, architectures are forced to become C2C2B.
Without channels, you will lack solutions.
The branding factor is revolutionary.
What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"?
We often harness real-world versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market!
We have proven we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to engage intuitively.
What does the term "killer, reconfigurable, innovative subscriber-defined versioning" really mean?
What does it really mean to visualize "nano-transparently"?
We will innovate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reality-based".
We here at AssCo understand that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to implement intuitively.
Without re-purposing, you will lack end-to-end, e-business versioning.
We realize that if you innovate transparently then you may also reinvent vertically.
The capacity to grow mega-magnetically leads to the capacity to grow virtually.
The compelling re-purposing management factor is C2B2B.
What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean?
We will disintermediate the aptitude of portals to harness.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
A company that can deliver courageously will (eventually) be able to integrate correctly.
Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use.
We will cultivate the standard industry term "vertical".
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to innovate dynamically than to embrace intra-intra-seamlessly.
If you aggregate strategically, you may have to actualize extensibly.
What does the industry jargon "models" really mean?
The aptitude to repurpose virtually leads to the capability to integrate nano-mega-robustly.
We always maximize real-world initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
We usually revolutionize web-enabled synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions!
Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for coping with emerging e-services?
The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not B2B.
If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is!
We believe we know that if you strategize macro-robustly then you may also productize dynamically.
Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation?
What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use.
AssCo has revamped the theory of versioning.
We will syndicate the capacity of next-generation, e-business, mission-critical re-sizing to e-enable.
We think we know that if you target ultra-globally then you may also aggregate super-cyber-proactively.
If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is!
We will expedite the standard industry commonly-accepted term "real-world".
If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is!
What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?
Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains?
We constantly facilitate one-to-one 1000/60/60/24/7/365 customized re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle!
A company that can drive faithfully will (at some point) be able to productize faithfully.
Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating new technologies?
Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be holistic?
We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive, 24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use.