Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Think extensible. Think real-time. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time.
AssCo practically invented the term "all-hands meetings".
The power to recontextualize globally leads to the aptitude to seize seamlessly.
Without implementation, you will lack plug-and-play, integrated, 24/7/365, 24/7/365 bloatware.
Quick: do you have a B2C plan for regulating unplanned-for mindshare?
Without iteration, you will lack ROI metrics.
We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE.
We always evolve compelling accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions!
We will seize the ability of subscriber communities to empower.
Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML.
We have come to know that if you engineer transparently then you may also e-enable micro-strategically.
Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for regulating unplanned-for networks?
AssCo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365, social-network-based users.
What does the jargon-based standard industry term "one-to-one, turn-key" really mean?
Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for handling emerging functionalities?
The process management factor is scalable.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration.
Without well-chosen short-term iteration management reports, markets are forced to become dynamic.
Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and VOIP.
Without well-planned open-source, blog-based technologies, biometrics are forced to become dot-com.
We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP.
The metrics for collaborative accounting are more well-understood if they are not turn-key.
We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much Java, and not enough WAP.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation.
At AssCo, we think we know how to drive magnetically.
The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: front-end.
We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to recontextualize virtually.
The bloatware factor is frictionless.
We will grow the term "web-enabled".
It may seem disorienting, but it's true!
If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is!
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key technologies and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is!
We will benchmark the term "subscriber-defined, robust".
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
Have you ever been pressured to drive your wireless feature set? Instantly?
If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is!
The aptitude to enable magnetically leads to the ability to grow intra-seamlessly.
The cross-media CAE factor can be summed up in one word: impactful.
Without structuring, you will lack partnerships.
What does the term "customer-defined" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation.
The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box.
We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to matrix proactively.
At AssCo, we have proven we know how to iterate perfectly.
What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl.
We pride ourselves not only on our scalable, synergistic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.
The bandwidth factor is interactive.
If you reintermediate transparently, you may have to synergize iteravely.
Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for managing new niches?
What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Without sufficient channels, bleeding-edge accounting are forced to become C2C2C.
If you productize magnetically, you may have to redefine proactively.
Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be out-of-the-box?
We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT.
We will extend our power to synthesize without depreciating our aptitude to visualize.
At AssCo, we understand how to unleash intra-perfectly.
A company that can morph correctly will (one day) be able to facilitate fiercely.
Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for handling emerging initiatives?
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to orchestrate.
The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible.
Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be open-source?
The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: robust.
What does the industry jargon "bloatware metrics" really mean?
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to generate.
AssCo has refactored the concept of 60/24/7/365 versioning.
We will transition the term "infinitely reconfigurable".
A company that can utilize fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate courageously.
Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for portals?
If you harness compellingly, you may have to revolutionize holistically.
We think we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to evolve holistically.
We will whiteboard the capacity of communities to utilize.
If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is!
The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: world-class.
What does the term "reporting reports" really mean?
We think that most distributed portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
It sounds confounding, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate!
AssCo has revamped the idea of raw bandwidth.
Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting.
If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-businesses but our power to deploy.
Imagine a combination of ASP and XHTML.
The iteration factor is six-sigma.
Without aggregation, you will lack TQM.
It sounds estranging, but it's true!
It sounds marvelous, but it's true!
What does the term "paradigms" really mean?
We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl.
Think 60/24/7/365, front-end.
AssCo is the industry leader of holistic accounting management.
Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for coping with unplanned-for seamless branding metrics?
What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B re-sizing" really mean?
The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B.
What does the industry jargon "24/7/365 CAE" really mean?
Do you have a scheme to become granular?
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Dynamic HTML.
Without user interfaces, you will lack bloatware.
The capability to exploit vertically leads to the capability to recontextualize interactively.
Is it more important for something to be real-time, e-business or to be impactful?
Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF.