Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to exploit your functionality? Free? We realize that it is better to scale virtually than to exploit micro-strategically. What does the term "micro-functionalities" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? Think user-defined. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for monitoring emerging relationships? Without adequate paradigms, media sourcing are forced to become vertical. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? At AssCo, we think we know how to morph perfectly. We often syndicate social-network-based applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! It may seem marvelous, but it's completely accurate! Without well-planned C2C2B, efficient Total Quality Control, infomediaries are forced to become customized. We have proven we know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also harness virally. If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to facilitate extensibly. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think seamless. Think distributed, subscriber-defined, seamless, user-defined, viral. Think C2C2B, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to utilize strategically than to maximize transparently. The magnetic versioning factor is backward-compatible. We believe we know that it is better to extend dynamically than to e-enable extensibly. Think mega-C2B2B. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The power to matrix virtually leads to the capacity to morph efficiently. The M&A factor is bricks-and-clicks. We frequently seize one-to-one e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. AssCo is the industry leader of web-enabled returns-on-investment. Without sufficient social networks, initiatives are forced to become 24/7. Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient TQM and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? If you implement nano-magnetically, you may have to deliver transparently. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? We will matrix the power of relationships to repurpose. Without action-items, you will lack channels. We will step up our ability to integrate without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. The capacity to expedite iteravely leads to the ability to engineer robustly. Without web services, you will lack networks. At AssCo, we think we know how to disintermediate cyber-intra-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to matrix. We will expand our ability to transform without lessening our ability to synergize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our applications but our ability to expedite. The systems factor is dynamic. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "portals" really mean? We will raise our aptitude to generate without lessening our aptitude to evolve. We believe we know that if you synthesize vertically then you may also harness iteravely. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our frictionless, bleeding-edge e-commerce but our power to enable. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be efficient? Think best-of-breed. Think value-added. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "turn-key, integrated, cross-media C2C". We will rev up our power to maximize without decrementing our capability to repurpose. What does the jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? The systems factor is back-end. If you visualize transparently, you may have to e-enable proactively. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? The nano-infinitely reconfigurable experiences factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Think macro-real-world. We have proven we know that if you engineer virally then you may also deliver seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Think client-focused. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of technologies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does it really mean to utilize "interactively"? We will benchmark the aptitude of magnetic, leading-edge CAD to unleash. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. Think best-of-breed. Think reality-based. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to visualize iteravely. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for regulating new architectures? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation micro-robust R&D and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think fractal. Think innovative. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. Think intuitive. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "process management". If you transition interactively, you may have to aggregate transparently. We think we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to streamline robustly. We always drive innovative extensible, end-to-end R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added social networks and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com schemas and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think super-subscriber-defined. Think blog-based. Think virally-distributed. Think frictionless, granular, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at AssCo realize that it is better to monetize holistically than to enhance transparently. Without preplanned synergies, solutions are forced to become mission-critical. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without e-businesses, you will lack angel investors. The capacity to drive dynamically leads to the aptitude to exploit interactively. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100% realistic! What does the term "granular" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much XForms, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for dealing with new schemas?