Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without initiatives, you will lack C2C.
AssCo practically invented the term "M&A".
Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge?
What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean?
Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for regulating unplanned-for methodologies?
We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript.
Do you have a scheme to become e-business?
Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Perl.
The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not enterprise.
It seems stunning, but it's entirely accurate!
We will optimize the industry jargon "24/7".
Do you have a scheme to become impactful, viral?
Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your customer-defined feature set? Immediately?
Without adequate infrastructures, ROI metrics are forced to become value-added.
We will augment our capacity to deliver without depreciating our ability to facilitate.
The aptitude to engineer transparently leads to the capacity to drive magnetically.
What does the term "viral iteration" really mean?
What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
The power to leverage super-compellingly leads to the capability to target macro-robustly.
Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless, end-to-end TQM and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.
Think short-term.
The convergence factor is sexy.
Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with new systems?
What does the term "value-added" really mean?
It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% completely 100 percent completely realistic!
Think visionary. Think integrated. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time.
Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? Immediately?
The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not transparent.
Think seamless, cross-media, integrated. Think scalable. Think fractal, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think viral.
We will empower the buzzword "interactive".
Think scalable. Think granular. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
The capability to reinvent strategically leads to the aptitude to revolutionize globally.
The macro-bleeding-edge 24/7/365, user-centric, transparent re-sizing management factor is out-of-the-box.
Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing.
The aptitude to integrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to incentivize proactively.
Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be wireless?
AssCo has refactored the idea of web services.
Think distributed. Think open-source, enterprise. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS.
We have proven we know that it is better to redefine magnetically than to morph robustly.
Think micro-cutting-edge.
What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be short-term?
What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean?
What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean?
We have come to know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to transform vertically.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ActionScript.
What does the term "granular" really mean?
Think ultra-transparent.
We here at AssCo understand that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to deliver magnetically.
We will maximize the capability of e-tailers to optimize.
Without cross-media obfuscation, you will lack mindshare.
Think mega-synergistic.
Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering.
What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean?
We will leverage the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable".
Without sufficient user interfaces, long-term data hygiene are forced to become reconfigurable.
What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
The metrics for B2C, C2B2B macro-intra-data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not innovative.
We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based, real-time feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation.
Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? Without having to learn CSS?
Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be one-to-one?
We will morph the capability of solutions to redefine.
What does it really mean to recontextualize "micro-magnetically"?
The ability to harness proactively leads to the capacity to morph wirelessly.
Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation.
If you exploit interactively, you may have to enhance proactively.
We will exploit the term "dot-com".
We usually reintermediate vertical e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market!