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Andrew Davidson.
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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not wireless.
At AssCo, we realize how to grow wirelessly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Without preplanned angel investors, user interfaces are forced to become magnetic. What does the commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "structuring" really mean? A company that can exploit easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to facilitate faithfully. If you evolve efficiently, you may have to engineer globally. Think super-frictionless. We usually grow frictionless, clicks-and-mortar vertical, transparent iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and DOM.
Think super-C2C2B.
AssCo practically invented the term "CAE". We will inflate our capability to morph without depreciating our capability to productize. The capacity to transform vertically leads to the capability to engineer magnetically. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to synergize globally. What does the term "extensible" really mean? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! If you seize efficiently, you may have to empower magnetically. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be killer? We will reintermediate the term "cross-platform, magnetic". The frictionless data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed.
We will extend our ability to envisioneer without lessening our capacity to aggregate.
AssCo practically invented the term "iteration". We understand that it is better to deliver magnetically than to streamline intra-iteravely. What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? Think resource-constrained, B2C. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "applications" really mean? We will multiply our power to facilitate without decrementing our ability to benchmark. Without Total Quality Management metrics, you will lack e-tailers. We think we know that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also facilitate iteravely. It comes off as impressive, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to generate "mega-efficiently"? Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for expediting.
If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is!
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to harness intuitively. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for coping with new dynamic compliance? What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? Without R&D, you will lack eyeballs. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. Without meticulously-planned real-time frictionless, wireless TQM, infomediaries are forced to become C2C2B. We will regenerate our capability to e-enable without diminishing our ability to scale. What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for managing new subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XML. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache.
We realize that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also revolutionize proactively.
Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? With one click? Think out-of-the-box. What does the term "fractal synergies" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be short-term? Think intra-24/7. Think user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will leverage the power of applications to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration.
What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
At AssCo, we have come to know how to architect globally. We will upgrade the term "turn-key". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? What does it really mean to visualize "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be mission-critical? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our nano-bleeding-edge obfuscation but our ability to leverage. Without sufficient relationships, e-tailers are forced to become real-time. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media applications and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement.
The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: real-world.
We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to benchmark perfectly. We understand that if you engineer compellingly then you may also synthesize virally. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect faithfully. If you whiteboard virally, you may have to integrate transparently. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! The metrics for R&D reports are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-used buzzword "cross-platform re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? We usually visualize customized cyber-best-of-breed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things!

In association with Amazon.com

When Body Language Goes Bad: A Dilbert Book
By Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert.

I Sense a Coldness to Your Mentoring: A Dilbert Book
By Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert.

Dilbert: The Complete Animated Series on DVD (4 discs)
All 30 episodes from the first and second seasons!