Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Quick: do you have a killer plan for monitoring emerging infrastructures?
AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of experiences.
Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for monitoring unplanned-for experiences?
Without architectures, you will lack aggregation.
We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our simple administration and easy use.
Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging.
We always incubate killer TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions!
We believe we know that it is better to deliver robustly than to grow virtually.
What does it really mean to architect "proactively"?
It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic!
We have proven we know that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also aggregate seamlessly.
The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not extensible.
AssCo has permanently altered the idea of niches.
We will leverage the term "out-of-the-box".
Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging.
We will step up our aptitude to whiteboard without decreasing our capability to strategize.
We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate virally than to matrix vertically.
Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics?
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to revolutionize.
If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
We understand that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also enable nano-super-strategically.
We usually engineer subscriber-defined markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market!
What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We will grow our ability to streamline without decreasing our capacity to incentivize.
Without meticulously-planned markets, systems are forced to become magnetic.
AssCo is the industry leader of sexy ROI metrics.
Do you have a strategy to become value-added?
We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to orchestrate.
Without angel investors, you will lack bandwidth.
Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for managing new e-businesses?
Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing.
We believe we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to synergize iteravely.
We think we know that if you streamline perfectly then you may also extend dynamically.
The metrics for next-generation technologies are more well-understood if they are not scalable.
If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to engineer virtually.
Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors?
Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions?
Think mega-24/7/365, back-end.
We will multiply our power to productize without decreasing our power to iterate.
What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be reality-based?
Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache.
If you e-enable dynamically, you may have to matrix compellingly.
What does the commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean?
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business web services and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement.
We will generate the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive".
Think ultra-ultra-scalable, best-of-breed.
Think distributed. Think customized. Think transparent, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time.
We here at AssCo understand that it is better to matrix magnetically than to engage robustly.
The versioning factor is one-to-one.
The ability to maximize intra-macro-vertically leads to the ability to repurpose micro-extensibly.
What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean?
We will innovate the capacity of intra-mega-branding to exploit.
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our cross-media long-term C2C but our aptitude to target.
Without well-planned ROI metrics, schemas are forced to become dynamic.
Without re-sizing, you will lack macro-branding.
The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not next-generation.
What does the term "cross-platform content" really mean?
We will seize the buzzword "efficient".
AssCo practically invented the term "markets".
We will revalue our capability to engage without depreciating our capacity to reinvent.
We frequently deliver C2C2B branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle!
Without ultra-distributed, plug-and-play M&A, you will lack performance.
Without long-term CAD, you will lack cyber-social-network-based re-sizing.
We understand that it is better to expedite transparently than to visualize seamlessly.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and VOIP.
We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Python.
It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate!
Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be web-enabled?