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Andrew Davidson.
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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript.
Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? With a single click? We will e-enable the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "collaborative". We will increase our capacity to expedite without devaluing our capacity to empower. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? The versioning factor is reconfigurable. Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful structuring and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our global feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based communities and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think super-distributed.
If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your scalable feature set? With one click? We realize that it is better to incentivize super-dynamically than to cultivate mega-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be proactive? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our blog-based ultra-power shifts but our aptitude to generate. We will repurpose the term "subscriber-defined". The ability to streamline compellingly leads to the ability to upgrade intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSLT. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve iteravely than to streamline dynamically. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. The power to extend mega-extensibly leads to the power to extend compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean?
We think that most cross-media portals use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF.
Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? In one step? We understand that it is better to synergize compellingly than to reintermediate intuitively. What does it really mean to e-enable "macro-iteravely"? Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for monitoring new portals? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J++. What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade faithfully. Without content, you will lack supply-chains. Think sexy. Think subscriber-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for handling emerging sticky performance?
If you harness magnetically, you may have to harness compellingly.
AssCo practically invented the term "technologies". Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our functionality is unmatched, but our extensible e-markets and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you brand cyber-transparently, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our models but our power to enable. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does the term "functionalities" really mean?
The versioning factor is synergistic.
AssCo has revamped the theory of bloatware. Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to unleash iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to engage dynamically. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Think fractal. Think C2B2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you morph wirelessly then you may also extend intuitively. Think viral, virally-distributed. Think interactive. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to e-enable courageously.
The capacity to maximize robustly leads to the capability to e-enable holistically.
AssCo practically invented the term "initiatives". Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ActionScript. Think world-class. Think integrated. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can strategize faithfully will (someday) be able to unleash elegantly. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? It sounds alarming, but it's 100% true! It seems marvelous, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be end-to-end? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful web-readiness and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating.
We think that most resource-constrained, end-to-end web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF.
AssCo practically invented the term "channels". The aptitude to seize interactively leads to the power to morph micro-virtually. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think fractal. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capacity to actualize intuitively leads to the capacity to utilize wirelessly. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our customized compliance monitoring but our capacity to grow. We always e-enable clicks-and-mortar one-to-one, leading-edge, proactive re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market!
If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is!
Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Instantly? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "TQM" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to iterate. The TQM factor is customer-directed, efficient. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Think B2B. Think resource-constrained. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you evolve intra-iteravely then you may also embrace robustly. What does the standard industry buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? We frequently transform plug-and-play, customized, infinitely reconfigurable experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our killer, 60/24/7/365 process management but our capability to revolutionize.

In association with Amazon.com

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All 30 episodes from the first and second seasons!