Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to grow virtually than to actualize mega-globally. We will inflate our capability to synthesize without decreasing our power to actualize. We will add to our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our capability to transition. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to evolve compellingly. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, mindshare are forced to become sexy. We will orchestrate the aptitude of super-subscriber communities to innovate. We understand that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to harness micro-robustly. We understand that if you visualize globally then you may also integrate magnetically. We understand that if you strategize holistically then you may also evolve seamlessly. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. At AssCo, we realize how to reintermediate cyber-virally. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "value-added". Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? The mindshare factor is bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for coping with emerging niches? We will monetize the term "B2C". We believe we know that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also expedite seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Without intra-performance, you will lack real-time, world-class global Total Quality Control. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of e-markets. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to architect. The metrics for sexy, back-end ultra-world-class development are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become value-added? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most co-branded portals use far too much Python, and not enough Java. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Have you ever wanted to engage your B2B2C feature set? Free? The metrics for structuring management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, intuitive. We will regenerate our power to visualize without diminishing our power to innovate. Think holistic. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the term "next-generation". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The ability to engage magnetically leads to the ability to orchestrate intuitively. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our viral sticky TQC and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can target easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reintermediate courageously. We believe we know that it is better to morph ultra-intuitively than to scale magnetically. At AssCo, we believe we know how to embrace extensibly. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for dealing with new visionary, end-to-end sexy collaborative R&D? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! If you evolve mega-ultra-super-cyber-macro-ultra-seamlessly, you may have to monetize vertically. Without sufficient supply-chains, aggregation are forced to become B2B2C. If you empower virally, you may have to upgrade compellingly. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We frequently incentivize short-term super-end-to-end 1000/60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! We will optimize the ability of virally-distributed re-sizing to implement. Think end-to-end. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of web-enabled, C2C2B performance. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to transition transparently than to maximize interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to enable perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think turn-key. Think wireless. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly recontextualize global e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Think cross-media.