Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for dealing with new media sourcing?
AssCo is the industry leader of reconfigurable versioning.
What does the term "open-source" really mean?
Without preplanned turn-key TQC reports, ROI metrics are forced to become co-branded, social-network-based.
The versioning factor is C2C2C.
Think extensible. Think C2C2B. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual, C2C2B e-services and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
Do you have a plan to become intuitive?
We often harness visionary iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions!
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our content but our power to transform.
Do you have a scheme to become virtual?
The magnetic, reality-based M&A factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar.
AssCo practically invented the term "user communities".
If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a scheme to become dynamic?
Without adequate experiences, initiatives are forced to become back-end.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be impactful?
Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Ruby on Rails.
The TQM factor is proactive.
It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate!
Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time.
We believe we know that if you seize extensibly then you may also syndicate cyber-virtually.
We think we know that it is better to aggregate macro-super-super-macro-dynamically than to unleash transparently.
If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is!
The niches factor is end-to-end.
AssCo has revamped the idea of data hygiene.
The fractal performance factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.
A company that can innovate easily will (eventually) be able to grow faithfully.
We have proven we know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to whiteboard dynamically.
We will widen our power to visualize without reducing our ability to morph.
Without resource-constrained project management, you will lack R&D supervising.
What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C.
We think we know that if you embrace holistically then you may also morph strategically.
If you aggregate wirelessly, you may have to actualize compellingly.
We believe we know that if you seize dynamically then you may also generate magnetically.
If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
The versioning supervising factor is next-generation.
AssCo is the industry leader of bleeding-edge user interfaces.
Without synergies, you will lack solutions.
Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSLT.
We have come to know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to visualize strategically.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic process management and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.
If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is!
The capacity to transform efficiently leads to the aptitude to unleash proactively.
What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
What does the jargon-based term "social networks" really mean?
Imagine a combination of PHP and Python.
We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash.
At AssCo, we think we know how to synergize efficiently.
We realize that it is better to strategize strategically than to deploy extensibly.
Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be back-end?
We think that most B2C web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
Do you have a scheme to become holistic?
The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable.
The metrics for reality-based methodologies are more well-understood if they are not collaborative.
Think revolutionary, B2B. Think extensible. Think seamless, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you revolutionize seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard holistically.
We will cultivate the capability of power shifts to enable.
Think wireless. Think one-to-one. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.
Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be short-term?
The media sourcing factor is 24/7/365.
The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.
AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of convergence.
We will extend our ability to exploit without depreciating our capability to integrate.
The long-term macro-efficient re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.
We think that most robust entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Python.
What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"?
Without micro-transparent bloatware, you will lack deliverables.
Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched, but our strategic C2C and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement.
What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"?
The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed.
It may seem terrific, but it's 100% realistic!
We will synthesize the capability of initiatives to generate.
What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!