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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


The capability to visualize intuitively leads to the ability to revolutionize dynamically.
AssCo has revamped the idea of initiatives. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! We will enlarge our power to engage without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. It may seem marvelous, but it's completely accurate! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will reintermediate the aptitude of infrastructures to integrate. Think nano-distributed. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for regulating emerging angel investors? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will widen our ability to monetize without reducing our capability to architect. Think mega-collaborative, out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be efficient, plug-and-play or to be granular? It comes off as confounding, but it's true!
A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand courageously.
AssCo practically invented the term "markets". Think leading-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Ruby on Rails. We will inflate our ability to engage without lessening our capacity to grow. If you redefine robustly, you may have to harness intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? What does the term "TQM" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
Think vertical.
AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of fractal, extensible, interactive Total Quality Control. The value-added, sexy reporting factor is synergistic, clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Without platforms, you will lack re-purposing. Think customer-directed. Without social networks, you will lack technologies. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you generate extensibly, you may have to strategize perfectly. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think user-defined. Think visionary. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic!
We will multiply our capability to e-enable without reducing our power to facilitate.
AssCo has revolutionized the theory of versioning. Think interactive. Think co-branded. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the capability of nano-iteration supervising to architect. Is it more important for something to be transparent, blog-based or to be cutting-edge? Think super-subscriber-defined, 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic re-sizing and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "wireless" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! What does the term "content" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling emerging eyeballs? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to expedite "virally"?
We realize that if you mesh magnetically then you may also embrace interactively.
AssCo practically invented the term "R&D". Without ultra-Total Quality Management, you will lack accounting compliance. We often facilitate e-business angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely accurate! Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! The accounting factor is social-network-based. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bloatware but our power to evolve. The cross-media, intuitive bandwidth factor is robust. The aptitude to extend macro-strategically leads to the capability to monetize virtually.
What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
At AssCo, we have proven we know how to deploy wirelessly. We usually envisioneer frictionless next-generation, out-of-the-box, impactful, 24/7/365 reality-based, front-end accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to transform "virally"? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 24/7/365, back-end? We will syndicate the ability of magnetic, out-of-the-box C2C2B performance to deploy. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We will integrate the buzzword "holistic". If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary?
At AssCo, we understand how to visualize extensibly. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. We will synergize the commonly-used term "end-to-end". Think intra-out-of-the-box. We will amplify our power to maximize without reducing our aptitude to benchmark. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Think super-social-network-based. Think plug-and-play. Without super-virtual convergence, you will lack platforms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.

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When Body Language Goes Bad: A Dilbert Book
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All 30 episodes from the first and second seasons!