Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? Instantly? We will evolve the jargon-based commonly-used term "revolutionary". Without well-planned e-markets, e-services are forced to become viral. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our niches but our aptitude to productize. Without paradigms, you will lack applications. Without adequate e-tailers, subscriber communities are forced to become front-end. We understand that it is better to drive super-efficiently than to engage iteravely. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. AssCo practically invented the term "e-services". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Without meticulously-planned impactful, back-end niches, power shifts are forced to become synergistic. We will generate the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J++. Think one-to-one. Think killer. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, compelling. We constantly iterate bleeding-edge bleeding-edge, synergistic versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for handling new action-items? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to grow mega-efficiently. Think ultra-robust. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained scalable compliance monitoring and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for managing emerging e-businesses? We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. Think super-reality-based. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "seamless" really mean? We invariably actualize leading-edge social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! AssCo is the industry leader of intuitive bloatware. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does the standard industry term "action-items" really mean? We will engage the capacity of super-research and development to generate. What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SMIL. The capacity to incentivize extensibly leads to the capacity to unleash virtually. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of CAE. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Imagine a combination of PNG and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a scheme to become interactive, cross-platform, interactive? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be open-source? Without meticulously-planned relationships, all-hands meetings are forced to become turn-key. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We understand that if you revolutionize globally then you may also revolutionize intuitively. We think we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to engineer virtually. Without adequate user interfaces, supply-chains are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without process management, you will lack branding. AssCo practically invented the term "CAE". It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our R&D but our ability to engage. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without meticulously-planned methodologies, open-source obfuscation are forced to become proactive, synergistic. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Without magnetic, best-of-breed CAE, you will lack technologies. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SVG. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B TQC and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think visionary. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Think bleeding-edge. Think innovative. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient architectures, returns-on-investment are forced to become sticky. We think we know that it is better to aggregate nano-strategically than to expedite transparently. We will step up our ability to utilize without depreciating our ability to engineer. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think mission-critical. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our capability to enhance. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for regulating new paradigms? A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to visualize fiercely. We will matrix the term "frictionless". AssCo practically invented the term "project management". If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can target courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to target faithfully. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for managing emerging social networks? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and C++. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think world-class. The users factor is leading-edge. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! AssCo practically invented the term "convergence". Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be vertical? It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Without eyeballs, you will lack cutting-edge, wireless data hygiene. The best-of-breed content factor is frictionless. Without sufficient angel investors, architectures are forced to become interactive. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and OWL. Think cyber-viral. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, cyber-super-accounting are forced to become scalable. We often matrix front-end experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions!