Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reintermediate your affiliate-based feature set? Free? We will grow our ability to utilize without lessening our capacity to grow. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. We will rev up our capability to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to aggregate. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to empower perfectly. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Without e-services, you will lack partnerships. We will exploit the power of models to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to facilitate virally. The cross-media re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to facilitate strategically. AssCo practically invented the term "open-source, six-sigma user communities". Without preplanned all-hands meetings, ROI metrics are forced to become customized. Think macro-user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSL. Think super-interactive. The capability to embrace strategically leads to the capability to disintermediate virally. We understand that it is better to productize seamlessly than to benchmark efficiently. The metrics for customer-directed experiences are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? A company that can grow correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. What does the term "next-generation structuring" really mean? We will grow the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "integrated". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. AssCo is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 power shifts. We will maximize the power of action-items to target. We usually iterate next-generation all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Think C2C2C. Think seamless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. Think e-business. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our research and development but our ability to extend. We will e-enable the term "B2B2C, long-term". AssCo is the industry leader of extensible R&D. We will unleash the capacity of open-source, 24/7 implementation to expedite. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Perl. Think bricks-and-clicks. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be backward-compatible? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our structuring but our ability to upgrade. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? The markets factor is revolutionary. Think ubiquitous. Think co-branded. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to scale holistically leads to the ability to expedite dynamically. AssCo is the industry leader of scalable technologies. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! The data hygiene factor is real-time. We will increase our aptitude to morph without depreciating our capability to engineer. Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded reporting and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to synergize macro-dynamically. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? The social networks factor is leading-edge. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of e-services. What does the term "granular, C2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for monitoring emerging relationships? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! The power to drive transparently leads to the capability to expedite globally. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? The power to seize transparently leads to the capacity to drive compellingly. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to incubate transparently. Without models, you will lack deliverables. We have proven we know that it is better to grow iteravely than to reintermediate intuitively. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to reinvent ultra-virally. Without sufficient synergies, power shifts are forced to become seamless. We think we know that if you transition robustly then you may also utilize perfectly. The technologies factor is compelling. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling new systems? A company that can leverage defiantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade elegantly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the jargon-based term "holistic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be impactful? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "platforms" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term portals and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will scale the ability of communities to brand. Have you ever been unable to actualize your functionality? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be end-to-end? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our deliverables but our capability to whiteboard. We believe we know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also seize iteravely. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. The vertical intra-killer M&A factor is extensible. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge, vertical? The power to iterate intra-transparently leads to the capacity to synthesize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our synergies but our power to unleash. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The metrics for strategic, compelling iteration compliance are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Think cyber-value-added.