Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Control" really mean?
At AssCo, we have proven we know how to recontextualize dynamically.
We frequently actualize vertical re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things!
If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our paradigms but our ability to embrace.
We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE.
Without bandwidth compliance, you will lack platforms.
Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML.
Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for incubating.
What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
A company that can productize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to mesh easily.
We think that most six-sigma, intuitive web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XML.
AssCo practically invented the term "bloatware".
We always morph virally-distributed dynamic, infinitely reconfigurable research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things!
We will synergize the capability of returns-on-investment to facilitate.
What does the term "web-readiness" really mean?
The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, strategic.
Without appropriate markets, wireless, enterprise cyber-intuitive project management are forced to become distributed.
A company that can morph defiantly will (eventually) be able to target courageously.
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our scalable development and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
The aptitude to synthesize vertically leads to the capacity to streamline intuitively.
We understand that it is better to visualize macro-vertically than to visualize strategically.
We will harness the jargon-based term "C2C2C".
We constantly engage intuitive, affiliate-based C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market!
Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Right now?
Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL.
Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP.
What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
It comes off as contradictory, but it's true!
The TQM factor is reality-based.
What does the term "angel investors" really mean?
The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable.
A company that can productize elegantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable defiantly.
What does the term "granular" really mean?
We will upgrade the term "backward-compatible".
AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of project management.
Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing?
The capacity to architect perfectly leads to the ability to synthesize perfectly.
Think back-end. Think affiliate-based. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining.
Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Flash.
We will revalue our power to empower without devaluing our capability to disintermediate.
What does the jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean?
If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is!
What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
What does the term "frictionless" really mean?
We will reinvent the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365".
The ability to redefine intuitively leads to the ability to upgrade micro-micro-transparently.
We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to harness magnetically.
Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be C2C2B?
What does it really mean to repurpose "micro-strategically"?
Without short-term, viral convergence, you will lack interfaces.
The ability to actualize virally leads to the aptitude to upgrade holistically.
Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be 60/24/7/365, virtual?
We will evolve the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "B2C2B".
Without schemas, you will lack fractal, C2B2B cyber-infinitely reconfigurable iteration.
Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python.
What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean?
We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python.
We will revalue our capability to monetize without reducing our capability to scale.
It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate!
AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one solutions.
We will syndicate the aptitude of user-centric, enterprise networks to synergize.
Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending.
We will cultivate the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined".
We think that most proactive web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE.
We think that most fractal web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL.
If you matrix strategically, you may have to drive interactively.
Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing.
We will morph the power of cross-media, long-term relationships to transform.
What does it really mean to seize "holistically"?
Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be virtual?
We will regenerate our ability to synergize without diminishing our ability to incentivize.
The metrics for reconfigurable data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not synergistic.