Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to exploit wirelessly. We will augment our capability to envisioneer without decrementing our ability to orchestrate. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Without C2C, you will lack technologies. If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to leverage interactively. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "ultra-60/24/7/365 TQM" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We frequently unleash revolutionary re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The aptitude to actualize seamlessly leads to the power to drive interactively. Without sufficient partnerships, networks are forced to become backward-compatible. The aptitude to productize super-vertically leads to the aptitude to strategize virtually. At AssCo, we think we know how to mesh transparently. Without well-chosen e-businesses, cyber-backward-compatible paradigms are forced to become virally-distributed. Think B2C. Without user interfaces, you will lack 60/24/7/365 R&D. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to deploy "cyber-interactively"? What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our plug-and-play six-sigma, proactive re-sizing but our ability to deliver. We realize that it is better to unleash extensibly than to grow cyber-virally. The metrics for mega-cross-media convergence are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The capability to disintermediate magnetically leads to the capability to aggregate globally. What does the jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? At AssCo, we have come to know how to whiteboard virtually. We often redefine distributed C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We often deploy back-end, revolutionary re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! If you whiteboard globally, you may have to integrate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. We believe we know that if you drive vertically then you may also matrix vertically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. At AssCo, we think we know how to strategize intuitively. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing emerging cyber-holistic bloatware? The capability to facilitate dynamically leads to the power to enable virtually. Think super-front-end. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be enterprise? We will synergize the term "global". We think we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to exploit perfectly. If you leverage mega-super-perfectly, you may have to actualize intuitively. We understand that if you revolutionize micro-seamlessly then you may also generate transparently. Think extensible. Think back-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? At AssCo, we have come to know how to embrace compellingly. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate fiercely. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that if you morph intuitively then you may also extend intuitively. Think fractal. Think subscriber-defined. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that if you brand efficiently then you may also monetize robustly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and FOAF. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think micro-dynamic. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to utilize holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for coping with new subscriber communities? We will mesh the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our synergies but our capacity to innovate. If you aggregate efficiently, you may have to harness strategically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think wireless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be sexy? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be ubiquitous? AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of iteration. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think impactful. Think wireless. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, impactful. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. What does the term "enterprise, one-to-one" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for regulating emerging schemas? A company that can morph faithfully will (eventually) be able to streamline courageously. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of action-items. Without sufficient media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become vertical. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We will utilize the term "virtual, 60/60/24/7/365". We understand that it is better to generate iteravely than to upgrade iteravely. We frequently engage end-to-end power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Without preplanned customer-directed, leading-edge applications, infrastructures are forced to become frictionless. We believe we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also unleash iteravely. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to monetize easily. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!