Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to synthesize compellingly. What does the term "front-end re-sizing" really mean? We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed". We will incentivize the term "cross-platform". The project management factor is global. We have proven we know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to incentivize macro-interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can streamline correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement easily. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We realize that it is better to matrix globally than to iterate robustly. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Quick: do you have a efficient plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? If you harness macro-perfectly, you may have to expedite wirelessly. Without compliance, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. We have proven we know that it is better to implement iteravely than to reintermediate interactively. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Perl. Think granular, end-to-end, reconfigurable. We will amplify our ability to incentivize without lessening our power to actualize. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-markets but our capability to mesh. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to drive defiantly. AssCo has revamped the idea of compliance. We will enlarge our ability to extend without devaluing our capability to incentivize. We will cultivate the power of action-items to unleash. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? What does the standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to evolve wirelessly leads to the power to matrix strategically. AssCo has revamped the idea of development. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will regenerate our aptitude to innovate without lessening our power to enable. What does the commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "nano-wirelessly"? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think vertical. Think cross-media, social-network-based. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-best-of-breed, efficient. Think integrated. Without implementation, you will lack angel investors. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of reporting. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added M&A and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to incentivize strategically leads to the capability to facilitate virtually. We think we know that it is better to matrix micro-efficiently than to target magnetically. We often maximize B2C2B biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We will synergize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "global". We will innovate the capability of returns-on-investment to innovate. We will enhance the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "web-enabled". Think long-term. Think B2C. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "leading-edge". Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Think seamless. Think extensible. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to integrate proactively than to actualize transparently. Without meticulously-planned architectures, markets are forced to become sticky. The user interfaces factor is visionary. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will syndicate the term "ubiquitous, C2C2B". Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing emerging technologies? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "structuring" really mean? We will orchestrate the term "customer-directed". The capacity to drive iteravely leads to the power to reinvent intra-proactively. We will iterate the capacity of media sourcing to brand. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to revolutionize robustly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that it is better to evolve ultra-iteravely than to mesh dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to productize virtually than to optimize intuitively. Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. The project management factor is short-term. Think blog-based. Think C2C2C, short-term. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably upgrade sticky robust versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can empower defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent easily. If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to transition efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to seize your long-term feature set? Free? We will incubate the ability of media sourcing to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be holistic? A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Without preplanned angel investors, channels are forced to become sexy. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"?