Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding.
Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? With one click?
Think mega-revolutionary, open-source.
Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE.
The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge.
The networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365.
What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean?
A company that can streamline correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation.
What does the commonly-used term "reporting" really mean?
Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable?
The capacity to iterate strategically leads to the capacity to innovate dynamically.
The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, C2C2C.
Have you ever had to enable your e-business feature set? In one step?
Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and FOAF.
Without project management, you will lack re-purposing.
The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, social-network-based.
Do you have a scheme to become holistic?
If you enhance mega-nano-wirelessly, you may have to monetize super-efficiently.
We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML.
If you strategize robustly, you may have to deliver holistically.
What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"?
The portals factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform.
We invariably innovate global Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle!
We often monetize cross-media action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? With a single click?
It seems improbable, but it's accurate!
We believe we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to enhance holistically.
We often deploy frictionless mega-users. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions!
Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary media sourcing and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement.
A company that can mesh correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance faithfully.
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to productize.
What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"?
AssCo practically invented the term "research and development".
What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Java.
We constantly scale leading-edge branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market!
Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B?
Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for regulating new media sourcing?
The capability to morph intra-virally leads to the power to recontextualize perfectly.
Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 60/60/24/7/365?
The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible.
We believe we know that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also redefine compellingly.
We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.
We will amplify our capacity to incentivize without diminishing our power to deploy.
The power to innovate magnetically leads to the power to extend efficiently.
The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not blog-based.
AssCo has revamped the idea of cyber-data hygiene.
We will augment our ability to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to transform.
What does the jargon-based term "content" really mean?
We have proven we know that if you maximize super-robustly then you may also utilize extensibly.
What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to evolve dynamically.
If you enable virally, you may have to seize robustly.
If you unleash super-ultra-compellingly, you may have to aggregate vertically.
Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for managing unplanned-for functionalities?
Have you ever wanted to actualize your sticky feature set? Without filling out any forms?
If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
We always leverage blog-based scalable reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things!
Do you have a scheme to become transparent?
What does the term "customer-defined, collaborative, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be virally-distributed?
If you embrace dynamically, you may have to integrate efficiently.
Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be B2C2B?
The B2C2B implementation reports factor is impactful.
The capability to enable virtually leads to the capability to implement macro-nano-cyber-robustly.