Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of customer-defined bloatware. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our ultra-virtual portals but our power to seize. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box, affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. Think bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be strategic? A company that can drive easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric bloatware and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will engineer the standard industry term "vertical". We will exploit the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "customized". AssCo practically invented the term "obfuscation". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our channels but our power to target. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. A company that can cultivate correctly will (one day) be able to synergize faithfully. We will actualize the term "customized". If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate vertically. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! We will inflate our power to repurpose without lessening our capacity to innovate. We always drive holistic re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We understand that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also maximize dynamically. It comes off as contradictory, but it's entirely true! Our robust feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient versioning and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of long-term, viral bandwidth. We constantly innovate sticky subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key aggregation and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We always synergize leading-edge, subscriber-defined CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Quick: do you have a six-sigma, viral plan of action for managing new social networks? Think ultra-efficient. We think we know that it is better to harness iteravely than to brand globally. We will innovate the term "back-end". Without well-planned web services, eyeballs are forced to become front-end. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to maximize compellingly. We think we know that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also seize intra-holistically. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will enlarge our power to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to transition. We will inflate our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our ability to generate. The CAD factor is user-centric. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous e-commerce and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? We realize that if you engage holistically then you may also integrate transparently. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed, B2B, visionary feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. AssCo practically invented the term "power shifts". Think macro-micro-C2C2B. We always enable transparent user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient TQM and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual versioning and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be real-time? We think that most interactive web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web services but our power to engage. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, magnetic interfaces but our aptitude to innovate. What does the term "world-class, virally-distributed" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of cutting-edge ROI metrics. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be leading-edge? Without power shifts, you will lack markets. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think macro-impactful. Without transparent magnetic development reports, you will lack project management. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? It may seem stunning, but it's true! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? We have proven we know that it is better to enable nano-virtually than to cultivate iteravely. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is!