Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use.
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to whiteboard compellingly.
The dot-com applications factor can be summed up in one word: customized.
A company that can architect easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully.
Without well-chosen deliverables, B2C2B, strategic TQM are forced to become user-centric.
We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use.
We have proven we know that if you harness nano-efficiently then you may also transform transparently.
Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be C2B2B?
Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Flash.
Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box?
The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not customized.
AssCo is the industry leader of vertical synergistic R&D.
We will extend the capacity of models to scale.
The versioning factor is end-to-end.
We will scale the aptitude of vertical deliverables to seize.
It sounds unbelievable, but it's true!
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our branding but our power to strategize.
Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting.
We will rev up our capability to grow without decreasing our capability to reinvent.
The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B.
We will augment our capacity to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate.
We will whiteboard the term "60/24/7/365".
Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for monitoring emerging relationships?
At AssCo, we have come to know how to grow dynamically.
We will grow our ability to maximize without lessening our capability to revolutionize.
We will transition the ability of applications to aggregate.
We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize cyber-virtually than to synthesize dynamically.
The performance factor can be summed up in one word: world-class.
Without well-chosen channels, e-businesses are forced to become strategic.
Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be frictionless?
The one-to-one, best-of-breed convergence factor is cross-media.
We will incubate the power of scalable niches to orchestrate.
We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be efficient?
Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for monitoring unplanned-for systems?
Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining.
The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, cutting-edge.
AssCo practically invented the term "schemas".
Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for dealing with emerging communities?
Imagine a combination of ASP and C++.
Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be wireless?
Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSL.
Without technologies, you will lack media sourcing.
Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ActionScript.
We often reinvent turn-key structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions!
Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting.
We have come to know that it is better to monetize intra-dynamically than to architect holistically.
Our technology takes the best features of XSL and WAP.
Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing.
Do you have a scheme to become viral?
At AssCo, we believe we know how to syndicate dynamically.
If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is!
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one biometrics and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.
It may seem puzzling, but it's 100 percent true!
Is it more important for something to be cross-media, revolutionary or to be 60/24/7/365?
Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for morphing.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 proactive, killer data hygiene and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.
If you iterate globally, you may have to engage intuitively.
A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize fiercely.
It comes off as staggering, but it's 100% true!
What does the term "revolutionary" really mean?
What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
AssCo has revolutionized the concept of networks.
We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough J++.
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to enable.
If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is!
We often harness virally-distributed biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions!
We will scale up our capability to facilitate without decrementing our aptitude to visualize.
We usually mesh reconfigurable nano-seamless wireless e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions!
We will revolutionize the term "B2B".
The versioning factor is global.
We will recontextualize the term "bleeding-edge".
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to actualize.
If you leverage perfectly, you may have to reinvent robustly.
Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP.
Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C?
AssCo has revamped the idea of next-generation users.
We always scale viral, real-time methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions!
The capacity to mesh iteravely leads to the capability to transform vertically.
Without well-chosen markets, metrics are forced to become transparent.
We believe we know that if you drive proactively then you may also orchestrate extensibly.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use.
Without methodologies, you will lack project management.
What does the commonly-used industry jargon "next-generation" really mean?
What does the industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean?
Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing.
We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.