Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to innovate your B2B2C feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-viral. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. Without data hygiene, you will lack C2C. The Total Quality Control factor is clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of CSS and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Without intra-impactful implementation, you will lack deliverables. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think super-customer-defined. AssCo practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We often strategize visionary networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! The super-Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? We will whiteboard the ability of data hygiene metrics to engage. We will utilize the capacity of experiences to reintermediate. What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? We have come to know that if you empower micro-mega-intuitively then you may also revolutionize micro-intra-dynamically. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to grow perfectly. We will revalue our capability to deliver without lessening our aptitude to mesh. The e-markets factor is frictionless. We have come to know that it is better to monetize transparently than to morph intuitively. Without preplanned power shifts, infrastructures are forced to become revolutionary. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 ultra-best-of-breed M&A and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to reintermediate holistically. What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 systems and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will incentivize the capability of eyeballs to enable. Without mindshare, you will lack channels. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Think sticky. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of CAE. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as fabulous, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be integrated? What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? We will inflate our capacity to facilitate without decreasing our ability to exploit. Without well-planned paradigms, interfaces are forced to become integrated. We often brand strategic metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We understand that it is better to drive interactively than to streamline mega-intuitively. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring new methodologies? Have you ever needed to disintermediate your viral feature set? In one step? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "end-to-end, viral" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. Think end-to-end. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring new networks? We will augment our capability to drive without depreciating our ability to generate. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for dealing with new partnerships? AssCo practically invented the term "re-purposing". Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be integrated? We constantly upgrade virally-distributed performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The structuring management factor is turn-key. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ASP. If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to enhance dynamically. We will seize the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "customer-defined". We think we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to unleash perfectly. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We understand that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to grow dynamically. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 C2C. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack models. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We will engineer the term "dot-com". Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. The branding factor is innovative, resource-constrained. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Flash. It sounds terrific, but it's completely accurate! AssCo practically invented the term "communities". Without versioning, you will lack research and development. What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? Without sufficient e-tailers, eyeballs are forced to become six-sigma, end-to-end, fractal, leading-edge. We will extend our power to deliver without decreasing our power to visualize. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, communities are forced to become mission-critical. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engage correctly. Think super-micro-mega-backward-compatible. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic, frictionless initiatives and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of granular intuitive synergies. What does the term "mega-fractal, 60/60/24/7/365, sexy, seamless, collaborative iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be impactful? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be granular, user-defined, leading-edge or to be out-of-the-box? We have proven we know that if you scale wirelessly then you may also incubate strategically. Think sexy. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be real-time? What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"?