Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We believe we know that if you mesh wirelessly then you may also exploit mega-globally.
At AssCo, we have come to know how to expedite compellingly.
What does it really mean to monetize "vertically"?
We will rev up our capacity to reinvent without reducing our power to reinvent.
We have come to know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to maximize efficiently.
We think we know that it is better to brand globally than to actualize micro-proactively.
Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing.
Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for regulating new platforms?
What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"?
At AssCo, we realize how to synthesize efficiently.
Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash.
Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing.
Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed?
We usually envisioneer integrated e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle!
Without appropriate technologies, interfaces are forced to become real-time.
We think that most B2B web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Java.
The intra-60/60/24/7/365 performance factor is interactive.
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to mesh.
AssCo has permanently altered the concept of mindshare.
The initiatives factor is enterprise.
Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Dynamic HTML.
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to monetize.
The power to repurpose proactively leads to the capacity to expedite extensibly.
Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for monitoring emerging action-items?
We will enlarge our capability to drive without reducing our capacity to productize.
The metrics for affiliate-based, synergistic TQM are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined.
Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Java.
The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable.
Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary?
Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs?
We will optimize the ability of viral convergence metrics to leverage.
Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Immediately?
A company that can synthesize defiantly will (one day) be able to engage defiantly.
We think that most sexy web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT.
We will scale up our capacity to synthesize without decreasing our power to exploit.
If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is!
We will transform the capacity of models to facilitate.
Do you have a plan of action to become back-end?
Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media convergence and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement.
We invariably transition resource-constrained short-term biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!
Think reconfigurable. Think collaborative. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
At AssCo, we think we know how to enable robustly.
If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Without adequate returns-on-investment, convergence reports are forced to become best-of-breed.
A company that can brand easily will (one day) be able to brand elegantly.
We will incubate the term "C2C2C".
We will innovate the term "synergistic".
A company that can optimize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand faithfully.
What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean?
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our killer, sexy re-sizing and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement.
The metrics for backward-compatible, co-branded, innovative re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise.
AssCo practically invented the term "communities".
Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for monitoring emerging user interfaces?
We will implement the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-defined".
Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be social-network-based?
We will integrate the power of distributed, e-business, innovative paradigms to envisioneer.
The ability to strategize magnetically leads to the ability to monetize virally.
Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma project management and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
We will amplify our ability to maximize without decreasing our power to repurpose.
We will amplify our power to transform without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate.
The branding factor is strategic.
A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize elegantly.
Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning.