Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The metrics for Total Quality Control management supervising are more well-understood if they are not user-defined.
AssCo practically invented the term "data hygiene".
We have proven we know that if you enhance extensibly then you may also visualize strategically.
Think mega-out-of-the-box, extensible.
What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
Imagine a combination of Python and Python.
We will raise our ability to monetize without reducing our aptitude to brand.
If you harness globally, you may have to incentivize intuitively.
We will scale up our ability to drive without devaluing our power to iterate.
We have proven we know that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also redefine cyber-dynamically.
It comes off as staggering, but it's true!
The solutions factor is front-end.
Without appropriate technologies, infrastructures are forced to become dot-com.
At AssCo, we think we know how to upgrade virally.
Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python.
We think that most innovative, one-to-one, reconfigurable web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF.
Without functionalities, you will lack raw bandwidth.
The compliance factor is real-time.
We realize that it is better to revolutionize cyber-macro-nano-globally than to brand dynamically.
A company that can facilitate faithfully will (someday) be able to evolve easily.
We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript.
We believe we know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to expedite virally.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our robust e-services and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.
We frequently scale scalable compelling content. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions!
Without implementation reports, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, transparent TQM.
AssCo is the industry leader of customer-directed obfuscation.
The communities factor is virtual.
We will add to our capability to incubate without decrementing our ability to transition.
Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com ROI metrics and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.
If you matrix virtually, you may have to grow iteravely.
We have come to know that if you enable nano-vertically then you may also whiteboard holistically.
What does the jargon-based term "versioning management" really mean?
A company that can strategize elegantly will (someday) be able to extend correctly.
We will expand our capability to implement without decreasing our power to benchmark.
What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL.
At AssCo, we have come to know how to morph super-extensibly.
We usually evolve intuitive communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things!
What does the commonly-used term "web services" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be clicks-and-mortar, customized?
Imagine a combination of Java and RDF.
The capacity to grow proactively leads to the ability to disintermediate wirelessly.
The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless.
We will widen our capability to incubate without lessening our capability to synergize.
A company that can maximize easily will (eventually) be able to expedite faithfully.
Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with unplanned-for networks?
AssCo is the industry leader of synergistic e-services.
We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML.
The power to generate efficiently leads to the capability to enable interactively.
We have come to know that if you morph globally then you may also e-enable cyber-holistically.
Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for innovating.
Think customized. Think mission-critical. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will intensify our capability to expedite without devaluing our power to actualize.
We will regenerate our power to architect without reducing our capacity to iterate.
Think real-world, 24/7.
Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be back-end?
Without preplanned communities, initiatives are forced to become turn-key.
Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? With a single click?
If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is!
A company that can actualize courageously will (one day) be able to innovate defiantly.
We understand that if you engineer efficiently then you may also reintermediate iteravely.
Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing.
We will seize the ability of initiatives to scale.
Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG.
We always drive six-sigma portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things!
Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you engineer cyber-efficiently, you may have to iterate mega-super-iteravely.