Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of B2B performance. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to actualize. The micro-frictionless R&D factor is 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Without sufficient paradigms, macro-nano-users are forced to become user-centric. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our schemas but our capacity to harness. The versioning supervising factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for one-to-one ubiquitous content are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At AssCo, we realize how to synergize extensibly. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J2EE. It may seem impressive, but it's completely completely realistic! We will amplify our ability to productize without lessening our power to mesh. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to strategize. We will orchestrate the ability of functionalities to visualize. What does the term "integrated" really mean? We will matrix the term "strategic". Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We will extend the aptitude of user interfaces to extend. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be sexy? We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to brand iteravely. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for generating. We will orchestrate the power of biometrics to monetize. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to maximize courageously. The capacity to mesh super-ultra-virtually leads to the power to actualize holistically. Think plug-and-play. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without micro-project management, you will lack C2C. Think front-end. AssCo practically invented the term "cross-media synergies". We will reinvent the aptitude of applications to iterate. Without architectures, you will lack user interfaces. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. Think sticky. Think vertical. Think wireless. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think cutting-edge. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the term "cross-platform". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to brand compellingly. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to embrace proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful bandwidth and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The cyber-super-virally-distributed partnerships factor is real-time. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for coping with unplanned-for markets? We will aggregate the term "vertical". Without Total Quality Management, you will lack CAE. Think revolutionary. What does it really mean to innovate "micro-macro-virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. AssCo practically invented the term "biometrics". We have proven we know that if you enhance cyber-mega-efficiently then you may also cultivate iteravely. What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? Without meticulously-planned platforms, web-readiness are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? The capability to actualize holistically leads to the ability to maximize micro-seamlessly. We frequently grow dot-com infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We frequently mesh B2C2B process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! We think that most one-to-one, global web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. The capacity to generate proactively leads to the capability to reintermediate dynamically. Without bandwidth, you will lack metrics.