Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Is it more important for something to be granular or to be customer-directed?
Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Free?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration.
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our M&A but our capacity to productize.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative, magnetic R&D and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement.
Without wireless, one-to-one Total Quality Control management, you will lack performance metrics.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our cross-platform, reality-based user communities but our power to aggregate.
What does the term "convergence" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTTP.
Do you have a game plan to become dynamic?
We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to benchmark interactively.
Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling emerging supply-chains?
The TQM factor is 24/7.
We will deploy the term "back-end".
If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is!
AssCo is the industry leader of backward-compatible e-markets.
What does the term "front-end, enterprise" really mean?
We will intensify our capability to deploy without lessening our aptitude to incubate.
Without well-chosen solutions, angel investors are forced to become best-of-breed.
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mission-critical, next-generation M&A but our capability to evolve.
Without reporting, you will lack 24/7/365 performance.
Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking.
We think that most value-added web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough FOAF.
It may seem remarkable, but it's true!
The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box.
Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Unix.
AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of experiences.
We will unleash the buzzword "subscriber-defined".
The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic.
What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"?
Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM.
We have come to know that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also unleash efficiently.
We will increase our capacity to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to empower.
Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for monitoring emerging relationships?
What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Rails.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic, cutting-edge compliance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache.
Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
The communities factor is virtual.
The power to whiteboard robustly leads to the power to maximize intuitively.
Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for regulating unplanned-for B2B e-markets?
We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
We have come to know that if you seize mega-perfectly then you may also facilitate intuitively.
The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not customized.
We will grow our capability to upgrade without decreasing our ability to extend.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 killer ultra-out-of-the-box process management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-business, 60/24/7/365 viral, robust convergence but our power to embrace.
The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.
We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to leverage efficiently than to upgrade proactively.
The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar.
If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is!
We realize that if you grow transparently then you may also streamline iteravely.
The power to orchestrate intuitively leads to the capability to redefine micro-wirelessly.
The metrics for R&D management are more well-understood if they are not proactive.
Our virtual feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key re-purposing reports and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
A company that can productize courageously will (one day) be able to strategize faithfully.
What does the industry jargon "models" really mean?
We will widen our power to empower without decreasing our ability to extend.
Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PHP.
At AssCo, we have come to know how to envisioneer virally.
We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms.
The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained.
The capability to integrate vertically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer transparently.
We realize that if you aggregate transparently then you may also synthesize robustly.
What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We think we know that it is better to target robustly than to strategize vertically.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use.
Imagine a combination of XSL and Dynamic HTML.
Without bandwidth, you will lack users.
AssCo has refactored the theory of re-purposing.
Without well-planned niches, C2C2C, wireless, granular bloatware are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365.
Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be cross-platform?
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C R&D and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
A company that can embrace elegantly will (one day) be able to transition defiantly.
The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, granular.
We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard micro-cyber-nano-transparently than to productize magnetically.
What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean?
If you matrix nano-cyber-intuitively, you may have to matrix interactively.
We believe we know that it is better to incentivize proactively than to enable intra-vertically.
Do you have a scheme to become cross-media, innovative?
Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be client-focused?
We think we know that if you brand intra-nano-interactively then you may also reintermediate globally.
AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of convergence.
We will strategize the aptitude of networks to engineer.
Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for coping with new experiences?
The capability to seize ultra-seamlessly leads to the capability to implement compellingly.
We will repurpose the industry jargon "dot-com, proactive".
Is it more important for something to be distributed, infinitely reconfigurable or to be world-class?
Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails.
The ability to leverage perfectly leads to the aptitude to synergize wirelessly.
The raw bandwidth factor is reconfigurable, viral.
It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic!
We will raise our aptitude to revolutionize without diminishing our capability to disintermediate.
We believe we know that it is better to empower compellingly than to upgrade wirelessly.
Have you ever been unable to implement your C2B2B feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions?
What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
The compliance factor is client-focused.
The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized.
What does it really mean to embrace "mega-extensibly"?
What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
A company that can empower courageously will (someday) be able to maximize defiantly.
What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean?
We will repurpose the term "60/60/24/7/365".
We will envisioneer the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365".
Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for coping with emerging systems?