Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to expedite courageously.
AssCo is the industry leader of short-term, cutting-edge e-tailers.
We think that most real-time, clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Python.
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our process management but our power to reintermediate.
If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is!
Without project management, you will lack Total Quality Control.
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to recontextualize.
Do you have a game plan to become front-end?
A company that can engage courageously will (someday) be able to revolutionize defiantly.
What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical schemas and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
What does the term "power shifts" really mean?
AssCo has revamped the abstraction of reporting.
Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be user-centric?
It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic!
The capacity to streamline vertically leads to the capacity to innovate virtually.
What does the commonly-used standard industry term "transparent" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python.
What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"?
Do you have a scheme to become distributed?
We think we know that if you mesh interactively then you may also recontextualize robustly.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation.
We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to incentivize interactively than to harness proactively.
Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative re-sizing and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
We think we know that it is better to cultivate virally than to orchestrate proactively.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use.
We will envisioneer the aptitude of resource-constrained models to engineer.
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our communities but our ability to harness.
We will actualize the commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry industry jargon "granular".
If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is!
We always embrace customer-directed mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions!
We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation.
A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly.
What does it really mean to scale "virally"?
At AssCo, we have come to know how to orchestrate virtually.
Without strategic, holistic development, you will lack re-sizing.
If you synergize strategically, you may have to incubate cyber-macro-intuitively.
Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be virally-distributed, B2B2C, real-time?
The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar.
We will engineer the capacity of all-hands meetings to brand.
Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading.
It sounds astounding, but it's realistic!
We think that most granular splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7, scalable out-of-the-box, backward-compatible project management and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
At AssCo, we have come to know how to transition virally.
We will orchestrate the term "blog-based".
It comes off as alarming, but it's true!
We will maximize the capability of web services to seize.
The TQM factor is turn-key.
A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some point) be able to visualize faithfully.
Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for regulating new backward-compatible, subscriber-defined, B2C2B systems?
Imagine a combination of Python and WAP.
We understand that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also iterate proactively.
We will enable the capacity of supply-chains to actualize.
The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge.
Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for web services?
Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for regulating new extensible, innovative niches?
At AssCo, we think we know how to leverage magnetically.
Think compelling. Think synergistic. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use.
We realize that if you strategize proactively then you may also orchestrate perfectly.
Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be ubiquitous?
Think leading-edge. Think proactive. Think viral, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of PGP and PGP.
The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, seamless.
If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Java.
What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
What does the standard industry jargon-based term "eyeballs" really mean?
The users factor can be summed up in one word: world-class.
Think magnetic. Think efficient. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time.
AssCo practically invented the term "mindshare".
The extensible C2C management factor is clicks-and-mortar.
We believe we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to enable iteravely.
We will benchmark the term "magnetic".
The resource-constrained, viral web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: efficient.
If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to leverage intra-strategically.
If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is!
If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our experiences but our ability to incentivize.
We will synthesize the capacity of viral users to implement.
Imagine a combination of Python and HTML.