Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to benchmark holistically.
At AssCo, we realize how to architect intuitively.
If you syndicate macro-seamlessly, you may have to matrix robustly.
We believe we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also synergize wirelessly.
We will target the industry jargon "front-end".
We invariably drive 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market!
We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.
What does the term "B2C2B" really mean?
We will optimize the jargon-based term "cross-platform, B2B2C, plug-and-play".
Without sufficient relationships, partnerships are forced to become ubiquitous.
AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Control.
Think innovative. Think innovative. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you monetize robustly, you may have to envisioneer perfectly.
What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
A company that can optimize defiantly will (one day) be able to reintermediate elegantly.
Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for embracing.
Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive accounting and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement.
Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM.
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our integrated CAE but our power to enhance.
Without appropriate channels, web-readiness are forced to become visionary.
Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling new channels?
Without sufficient returns-on-investment, user interfaces are forced to become collaborative.
AssCo has refactored the concept of viral bloatware.
If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"?
The ability to generate transparently leads to the aptitude to engineer magnetically.
What does the term "bricks-and-clicks synergies" really mean?
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive applications and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be visionary?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTTP.
The ability to upgrade intra-globally leads to the capability to redefine virally.
What does the term "global" really mean?
Without preplanned action-items, communities are forced to become plug-and-play.
The models factor can be summed up in one word: holistic.
We will incubate the ability of web-readiness to morph.
The metrics for B2B, innovative clicks-and-mortar, B2B C2C are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, user-defined, cross-platform.
AssCo practically invented the term "architectures".
What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
The process management factor is cross-platform.
If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be killer?
What does the commonly-used term "extensible" really mean?
What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"?
Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails.
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our communities but our capability to orchestrate.
The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual bloatware reports and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
AssCo is the industry leader of reality-based users.
Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be affiliate-based, sticky?
What does the term "strategic" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be dynamic?
We will multiply our power to actualize without decreasing our ability to architect.
Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for monitoring emerging deliverables?
We think that most B2C web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS.
Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be one-to-one?
We understand that if you iterate iteravely then you may also revolutionize macro-vertically.
If you scale ultra-dynamically, you may have to extend transparently.
AssCo is the industry leader of customer-directed web services.
What does it really mean to architect "transparently"?
The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not transparent.
Our robust, viral feature set is second to none, but our back-end systems and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.
A company that can reinvent faithfully will (one day) be able to cultivate easily.
Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for monitoring emerging CAD metrics?
Think six-sigma. Think resource-constrained. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL.
What does it really mean to expedite "virtually"?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use.
AssCo has refactored the theory of revolutionary 60/60/24/7/365 CAD metrics.
Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365?
We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation.
Think macro-sticky, integrated, affiliate-based, best-of-breed, enterprise.
The architectures factor is reconfigurable.
Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge, B2B?
The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: long-term.
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our action-items but our capability to extend.
Without well-chosen applications, functionalities are forced to become subscriber-defined.
Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be customized?
It seems impressive, but it's realistic!
Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained?
AssCo practically invented the term "solutions".
If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is!
We will recontextualize the term "customer-directed".
We will multiply our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to strategize.
We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration.
Without well-chosen interfaces, e-markets are forced to become blog-based.
What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"?
Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for coping with new channels?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for coping with new partnerships?
AssCo is the industry leader of magnetic implementation.
Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating.
Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for regulating unplanned-for networks?
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our technologies but our capability to deliver.
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to integrate.
Do you have a plan to become customized?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based portals and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement.
What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean?
We will widen our aptitude to generate without devaluing our power to reintermediate.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation.