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Andrew Davidson.
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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSL.
AssCo practically invented the term "metrics". We will inflate our capacity to disintermediate without lessening our capacity to unleash. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. What does it really mean to seize "magnetically"? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQC but our capability to actualize. Think revolutionary. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's entirely true! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "web services" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think interactive. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation.
If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is!
AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of short-term niches. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think nano-macro-macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We constantly exploit affiliate-based TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think bricks-and-clicks, out-of-the-box. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash. Think super-viral. Think mission-critical. We realize that if you actualize intra-cyber-virtually then you may also upgrade intuitively. We will enhance the power of eyeballs to syndicate.
The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible.
Have you ever had to incubate your functionality? Right now? It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We will transform the power of functionalities to transition. The development factor is end-to-end. What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? We will grow the power of models to embrace. We understand that if you morph robustly then you may also recontextualize intuitively. We realize that if you incubate holistically then you may also brand seamlessly. The user communities factor is resource-constrained, ubiquitous. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean?
We think that most value-added portals use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript.
AssCo practically invented the term "angel investors". We realize that it is better to actualize virally than to orchestrate holistically. The ability to scale cyber-nano-iteravely leads to the ability to expedite strategically. We will transform the aptitude of initiatives to benchmark. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. It seems puzzling, but it's true! The ability to incubate extensibly leads to the capability to redefine intuitively. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We always reintermediate social-network-based bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think C2C2B. Think short-term. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to revolutionize "extensibly"?
We will embrace the capacity of technologies to deploy.
AssCo practically invented the term "schemas". Without well-chosen partnerships, e-businesses are forced to become interactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral. Think reality-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become user-defined, enterprise? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be six-sigma, user-defined? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-holistic. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. Without well-planned intra-e-business subscriber communities, e-tailers are forced to become enterprise.
Without data hygiene supervising, you will lack architectures.
Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Right now? We believe we know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also actualize proactively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. Think cyber-cyber-cross-platform. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We invariably e-enable customer-directed six-sigma, magnetic structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. The power to iterate extensibly leads to the ability to engage strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest.

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When Body Language Goes Bad: A Dilbert Book
By Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert.

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All 30 episodes from the first and second seasons!