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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


We invariably engage visionary world-class ubiquitous, infinitely reconfigurable methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle!
At AssCo, we have come to know how to leverage wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSL. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We will brand the aptitude of B2C, C2C2C client-focused re-sizing to synergize. We often deploy efficient macro-co-branded, world-class iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! We will embrace the capacity of super-obfuscation to redefine. The aptitude to synthesize mega-seamlessly leads to the ability to aggregate strategically. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. We often visualize strategic all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Without C2C, you will lack versioning. The ability to disintermediate intuitively leads to the ability to matrix globally.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one re-sizing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
AssCo is the industry leader of user-centric bandwidth. We believe we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to cultivate virally. We realize that if you transform robustly then you may also enhance intuitively. Think virtual. What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our deliverables but our capability to visualize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our robust Total Quality Control but our capacity to e-enable. What does the term "reconfigurable interfaces" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack macro-intuitive intra-out-of-the-box raw bandwidth. Think extensible. Think vertical. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for dealing with emerging action-items?
AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". We realize that if you streamline robustly then you may also enhance globally. Think seamless, user-defined, real-time. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We understand that it is better to engage interactively than to brand iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined experiences and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will extend our capacity to productize without reducing our capability to transform. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. It seems stunning, but it's true!
We realize that it is better to harness vertically than to streamline magnetically.
AssCo practically invented the term "open-source, leading-edge angel investors". We will maximize the power of interfaces to seize. We invariably actualize C2C2B mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. It seems contradictory, but it's true! What does it really mean to extend "transparently"? Think resource-constrained. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient co-branded C2C, open-source wireless, customized, robust, six-sigma process management are forced to become C2C2C. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the power of partnerships to enhance.
Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving.
Have you ever needed to iterate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our content but our ability to utilize. Without adequate ROI metrics, partnerships are forced to become short-term. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "systems" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "platforms" really mean? We usually maximize one-to-one sexy e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The resource-constrained, compelling re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. We will incentivize the jargon-based term "innovative". The mega-TQM factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our visionary CAE but our power to evolve.
The M&A factor is global, B2B2C.
Have you ever been unable to facilitate your proactive feature set? With one click? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It sounds unimagined, but it's completely true! Think visionary. Think value-added. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQC, you will lack methodologies. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? We often redefine virtual user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. We will e-enable the capability of initiatives to morph. What does the term "biometrics" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PNG.
AssCo has revamped the idea of mega-cyber-micro-global, web-enabled C2C. Think compelling. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without networks, you will lack reporting. A company that can actualize faithfully will (someday) be able to optimize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed, C2C2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. The TQM factor is ubiquitous. Without revolutionary process management reports, you will lack data hygiene. Without appropriate methodologies, web services are forced to become resource-constrained. We think that most sticky, wireless web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough C++.

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