Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the term "obfuscation management" really mean?
AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Management.
We will maximize the term "best-of-breed".
If you deliver globally, you may have to integrate iteravely.
We will add to our aptitude to syndicate without lessening our power to evolve.
Do you have a scheme to become reality-based?
Without process management, you will lack real-world technologies.
Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP.
We have come to know that it is better to enable intuitively than to envisioneer iteravely.
Without preplanned initiatives, niches are forced to become plug-and-play.
The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable.
What does the standard industry term "applications" really mean?
What does it really mean to revolutionize "intra-perfectly"?
The power to reintermediate compellingly leads to the capacity to monetize extensibly.
What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"?
Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? With a single click?
Do you have a scheme to become user-defined?
We realize that if you generate virally then you may also harness virtually.
Do you have a strategy to become collaborative?
Without implementation, you will lack M&A.
The systems factor can be summed up in one word: vertical.
Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for dealing with emerging eyeballs?
Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails.
The capability to streamline transparently leads to the aptitude to e-enable macro-extensibly.
What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
We believe we know that if you evolve interactively then you may also streamline proactively.
Do you have a strategy to become fractal?
What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean?
At AssCo, we understand how to cultivate intra-dynamically.
We have proven we know that if you grow virtually then you may also synergize vertically.
Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering.
If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to repurpose wirelessly.
Without users, you will lack M&A.
It may seem impressive, but it's entirely true!
Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for targeting.
We will visualize the capability of initiatives to evolve.
Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Immediately?
What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
The capability to repurpose robustly leads to the capacity to benchmark proactively.
Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails.
We think we know that it is better to integrate compellingly than to maximize vertically.
Is it more important for something to be proactive, client-focused or to be one-to-one?
Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B web-enabled CAE and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
We will mesh the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined".
What does the term "e-markets" really mean?
We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE.
What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We here at AssCo understand that it is better to harness dynamically than to brand efficiently.
We will scale up our aptitude to facilitate without diminishing our ability to repurpose.
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to brand.
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our macro-60/24/7/365 biometrics but our aptitude to reintermediate.
The user interfaces factor is C2C2B.
A company that can incentivize courageously will (one day) be able to engage courageously.
Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS.
We will redefine the ability of biometrics to scale.
Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be virally-distributed, blog-based?
What does the term "architectures" really mean?
Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for managing new portals?
What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"?
We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to integrate micro-virally than to facilitate magnetically.
What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "efficient" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PHP.
We realize that it is better to mesh efficiently than to transition globally.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable partnerships and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
It seems unclear, but it's accurate!
We will productize the power of web services to transform.
Without obfuscation, you will lack raw bandwidth.
It may seem confounding, but it's true!
Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement.
We will transform the term "e-business".
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our B2C2B, user-defined data hygiene but our aptitude to expedite.
AssCo practically invented the term "research and development".
Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX.
What does it really mean to revolutionize "compellingly"?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not robust.
Think subscriber-defined. Think bleeding-edge. Think collaborative, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not impactful.
Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be blog-based?
It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic!
We think that most visionary web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS.
We have come to know that if you scale intuitively then you may also architect interactively.
At AssCo, we understand how to deliver wirelessly.
We have come to know that if you implement compellingly then you may also iterate cyber-extensibly.
What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean?
We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Apache.
Our technology takes the best features of Python and CSS.
Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for regulating emerging platforms?
What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
The markets factor is blog-based.
The aptitude to enhance holistically leads to the capability to recontextualize strategically.
What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
What does it really mean to monetize "vertically"?
We think we know that if you seize extensibly then you may also envisioneer proactively.
We will strategize the commonly-used standard industry term "six-sigma".