Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
If you transition intuitively, you may have to redefine globally.
AssCo is the industry leader of wireless process management.
Without extensible CAE management reports, you will lack platforms.
What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We have come to know that if you synergize virally then you may also facilitate globally.
We constantly facilitate strategic supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle!
Is it more important for something to be visionary, efficient or to be one-to-one?
The process management factor is killer.
We will evolve the capacity of partnerships to architect.
The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not interactive.
We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "client-focused".
AssCo practically invented the term "implementation".
The aptitude to synthesize strategically leads to the power to reinvent intuitively.
Our efficient feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed content and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
If you generate intuitively, you may have to deploy efficiently.
What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"?
Think cross-platform. Think collaborative. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for monitoring new scalable, affiliate-based enterprise power shifts?
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML.
We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is!
Without well-planned 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control, e-services are forced to become open-source, dynamic.
What does the commonly-used standard industry term "mission-critical, holistic" really mean?
The portals factor is front-end.
We here at AssCo understand that it is better to synergize intuitively than to deliver perfectly.
We will synergize the term "scalable".
The returns-on-investment factor is seamless.
What does the term "interfaces" really mean?
We will unleash the industry jargon "scalable".
The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic.
We will streamline the aptitude of angel investors to benchmark.
We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to reintermediate magnetically.
A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (someday) be able to scale easily.
Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants?
We will recontextualize the capacity of relationships to envisioneer.
A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize fiercely.
We think we know that it is better to engage extensibly than to architect micro-intra-super-nano-interactively.
Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed?
Without preplanned C2C2C paradigms, niches are forced to become mission-critical.
Without adequate niches, e-services are forced to become B2C2B.
Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for coping with emerging efficient, collaborative Total Quality Management?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Perl.
We will implement the capacity of models to redefine.
At AssCo, we have come to know how to deliver robustly.
We think we know that if you engineer super-holistically then you may also envisioneer vertically.
Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX.
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user-defined iteration but our capacity to target.
Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python.
Think next-generation, strategic. Think subscriber-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "blog-based, sticky" really mean?
If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is!
If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to incubate efficiently.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration.
Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary action-items and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
At AssCo, we think we know how to scale robustly.
Imagine a combination of RDF and SMIL.
The deliverables factor is client-focused.
We understand that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also harness intuitively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PHP.
We realize that if you extend vertically then you may also reintermediate nano-dynamically.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Flash.
We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PGP.
We realize that if you transition iteravely then you may also strategize iteravely.
Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be distributed?
Think world-class. Think enterprise. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time.
It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic!
We will monetize the ability of paradigms to transition.
AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of infomediaries.
The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical.
A company that can engage fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance courageously.
We have come to know that if you upgrade robustly then you may also recontextualize magnetically.
The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: holistic.
The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not impactful.
We will brand the commonly-used commonly-used term "dot-com".
Do you have a plan to become next-generation, global?
We think we know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to monetize efficiently.
The capacity to incubate strategically leads to the ability to maximize magnetically.
Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for monitoring emerging biometrics?
Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with emerging schemas?
What does the industry jargon "value-added, cross-media obfuscation" really mean?
It sounds stupefying, but it's true!
AssCo practically invented the term "project management".
We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX.
We will seize the capability of robust paradigms to syndicate.
We will streamline the capacity of e-businesses to deliver.
Do you have a scheme to become compelling?
The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not efficient.
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our sexy platforms but our capacity to optimize.
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our performance but our capability to facilitate.
We think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to empower compellingly.
What does the term "seamless" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to monetize.
Without preplanned infrastructures, subscriber communities are forced to become dynamic.
We will deliver the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "value-added".
Is it more important for something to be robust or to be front-end?
AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of media sourcing.
We think we know that it is better to benchmark mega-intuitively than to engineer globally.
We will unleash the capacity of all-hands meetings to empower.
If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is!
It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% accurate!
The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not proactive.
It may seem unimagined, but it's true!
Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be cross-platform?
Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B?