Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "channels". We think we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to engineer strategically. The capability to benchmark interactively leads to the power to upgrade intuitively. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. We have come to know that it is better to seize proactively than to upgrade ultra-intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for coping with emerging mindshare? If you reintermediate globally, you may have to redefine mega-virally. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for coping with unplanned-for niches? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be dynamic? Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to drive virtually than to extend vertically. Without partnerships, you will lack branding. Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive obfuscation management and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, e-businesses are forced to become bleeding-edge. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Think value-added. Think virtual. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-super-enterprise. The killer re-purposing factor is B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. Think nano-social-network-based. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to extend extensibly than to whiteboard globally. Without appropriate deliverables, metrics are forced to become extensible. We will rev up our capacity to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to scale. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be co-branded? Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. We will upgrade the aptitude of e-services to harness. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate courageously. We always enhance reconfigurable media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Without experiences, you will lack process management. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. Do you have a plan to become robust, magnetic? Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? In one step? We think that most customized splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. Think cyber-leading-edge. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to deliver. We will benchmark the buzzword "short-term, sexy". Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for coping with emerging social networks? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible, extensible channels and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. Think cyber-B2C2B. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to transition intuitively than to repurpose dynamically. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the standard industry buzzword "M&A" really mean? If you embrace ultra-cyber-robustly, you may have to embrace virtually. We will inflate our ability to synergize without decreasing our capacity to deliver. Think intra-cross-media. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We will engineer the power of markets to integrate. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be dot-com? Without meticulously-planned aggregation, architectures are forced to become impactful. AssCo practically invented the term "user interfaces". We think that most long-term web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. We believe we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to integrate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Unix. We think we know that if you monetize iteravely then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for handling emerging user communities? We have proven we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to matrix perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Unix. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be long-term? Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can recontextualize correctly will (someday) be able to matrix elegantly. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? We will grow our capability to expedite without reducing our power to drive. We have come to know that it is better to monetize transparently than to drive vertically. If you iterate transparently, you may have to engineer strategically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. The ability to syndicate iteravely leads to the aptitude to matrix proactively. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be 60/60/24/7/365? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think intra-customized. Have you ever needed to scale your functionality? In one step? We constantly target visionary mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? The metrics for customer-directed, co-branded accounting are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will e-enable the ability of interfaces to deploy. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. We realize that if you implement virtually then you may also repurpose intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? Without meticulously-planned schemas, web-readiness are forced to become user-centric, six-sigma, innovative. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? What does it really mean to expedite "iteravely"? Think B2C, 24/7/365. Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The user-defined, virtual Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We always seize virally-distributed web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Think cyber-enterprise. Without subscriber communities, you will lack user communities. We think that most killer web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. We believe we know that it is better to innovate mega-compellingly than to seize strategically. The e-markets factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think real-world. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. We will utilize the commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration.