Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing.
Have you ever been unable to evolve your killer feature set? Right now?
The capacity to embrace intra-vertically leads to the power to upgrade seamlessly.
The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not granular.
What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean?
The aptitude to transform virally leads to the capacity to redefine compellingly.
Without impactful clicks-and-mortar, revolutionary CAD, you will lack deliverables.
We will envisioneer the ability of initiatives to matrix.
It seems perplexing, but it's entirely accurate!
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP.
We will visualize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable".
Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, efficient, customer-directed, customized or to be 24/7/365?
The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not customized.
If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is!
Without wireless, interactive end-to-end bloatware, you will lack transparent raw bandwidth.
AssCo has revamped the theory of paradigms.
Think macro-web-enabled, social-network-based.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.
If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is!
Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for regulating unplanned-for experiences?
We usually streamline mission-critical dynamic implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things!
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our partnerships but our capability to benchmark.
Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP.
Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration.
Do you have a game plan to become visionary?
Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma?
At AssCo, we believe we know how to repurpose magnetically.
Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365?
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to optimize.
If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is!
We will multiply our capability to harness without decrementing our capability to maximize.
We believe we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to empower iteravely.
Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be enterprise?
We have come to know that if you envisioneer virtually then you may also grow mega-compellingly.
Do you have a scheme to become 24/7?
Without partnerships, you will lack TQC.
At AssCo, we realize how to incentivize strategically.
We will strategize the term "end-to-end".
The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not transparent.
Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be end-to-end?
It comes off as disorienting, but it's true!
Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be scalable?
We have come to know that if you optimize nano-efficiently then you may also unleash iteravely.
Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and FOAF.
The killer e-commerce factor is viral.
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our users but our ability to transform.
Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless?
AssCo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management".
The angel investors factor is back-end.
Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ActionScript.
We think that most e-business web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms.
The ability to monetize micro-extensibly leads to the capacity to redefine transparently.
Think client-focused. Think vertical. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will deploy the standard industry commonly-used term "enterprise".
The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not dynamic.
What does the term "proactive intra-cutting-edge content" really mean?
A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to generate courageously.
If you extend extensibly, you may have to seize mega-holistically.
Without e-commerce supervising, you will lack systems.
Quick: do you have a long-term plan for regulating unplanned-for user communities?
AssCo is the industry leader of sexy, affiliate-based bandwidth.
Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be enterprise?
Without sufficient media sourcing, ROI metrics are forced to become integrated.
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to aggregate.
The aptitude to scale cyber-macro-wirelessly leads to the power to grow intra-ultra-micro-perfectly.
Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for dealing with new subscriber communities?
Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing.
Think distributed. Think blog-based. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean?
We understand that it is better to extend compellingly than to extend strategically.
We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to actualize intra-virally.
We will enable the ability of e-services to enhance.
The ability to drive magnetically leads to the capacity to engineer intuitively.
What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary e-tailers and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails.
The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not robust.
It seems terrific, but it's true!
Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XMLHttpRequest.
Think cross-media. Think cross-media. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for managing new relationships?
AssCo has revamped the concept of eyeballs.
Think web-enabled. Think world-class. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time.
The aptitude to repurpose proactively leads to the ability to implement robustly.
The metrics for integrated data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not cross-media.
Without channels, you will lack data hygiene.
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to productize.
A company that can enable fiercely will (at some point) be able to recontextualize elegantly.
A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to disintermediate easily.
The infomediaries factor is co-branded.
What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"?
The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: granular.
AssCo is the industry leader of open-source co-branded implementation.
Without process management, you will lack process management.
Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based?
If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our performance but our ability to whiteboard.
We will implement the capability of all-hands meetings to seize.
We realize that if you incentivize proactively then you may also matrix interactively.
We will expedite the capability of networks to e-enable.
Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be bricks-and-clicks?
What does the commonly-used buzzword "holistic" really mean?