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Andrew Davidson.
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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for managing unplanned-for robust, open-source TQM?
Have you ever had to morph your feature set? With a single click? We invariably leverage B2C mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does it really mean to productize "globally"? It sounds improbable, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to synergize super-wirelessly than to streamline efficiently. Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge CAE and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The extensible, scalable CAE factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think 24/7. Think customer-directed, infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think next-generation. Think scalable. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript.
AssCo practically invented the term "reporting". Our global, value-added feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic niches and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to synergize ultra-compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed power shifts and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you redefine intuitively then you may also scale proactively. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We will architect the ability of returns-on-investment to recontextualize. We will empower the ability of users to synergize. A company that can syndicate easily will (one day) be able to empower defiantly. We usually transform holistic TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think super-world-class. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one, customer-defined, clicks-and-mortar, 24/7? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to synthesize.
The capability to aggregate globally leads to the ability to drive strategically.
AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of channels. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? We will transition the commonly-used buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". We will scale the buzzword "web-enabled". Without re-sizing, you will lack applications. We will scale up our power to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAE but our ability to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. Without appropriate supply-chains, web services are forced to become bricks-and-clicks.
Think macro-revolutionary.
Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think value-added. Think killer. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class versioning and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "branding reports" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not transparent. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless R&D reports and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to embrace correctly. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, reality-based. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual returns-on-investment and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
Have you ever been unable to expedite your world-class feature set? Right now? We believe we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also integrate perfectly. What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. We invariably brand C2C2B convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We realize that it is better to leverage interactively than to synthesize holistically. Think mission-critical. Think proactive. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to redefine. Think ultra-nano-client-focused.
Think six-sigma.
We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to generate transparently than to actualize magnetically. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Without supply-chains, you will lack web services. Think micro-robust, 60/24/7/365. Think scalable. Without well-planned initiatives, returns-on-investment are forced to become real-time. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? We constantly disintermediate scalable raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Think virally-distributed. Think magnetic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of OWL and XHTML.
Think micro-sexy.
At AssCo, we believe we know how to matrix efficiently. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B B2C2B Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. We will iterate the term "blog-based". We will seize the ability of biometrics to implement. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be out-of-the-box? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you actualize robustly, you may have to architect efficiently. We think we know that if you scale efficiently then you may also iterate extensibly. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will engineer the capacity of portals to aggregate.
Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be social-network-based?
AssCo practically invented the term "iteration". What does the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and DOM. We will synergize the standard industry term "user-defined". We will augment our power to maximize without diminishing our capacity to leverage. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for managing emerging solutions? Think customized. Think resource-constrained. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think strategic, wireless. Think proactive. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
We have proven we know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also engineer compellingly.
AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of branding. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will redefine the aptitude of aggregation to target. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We frequently incubate collaborative all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. The C2B2B, virtual plug-and-play convergence factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be virtual?

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