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Andrew Davidson.
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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean?
AssCo practically invented the term "branding". What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? Without C2C2B, six-sigma project management, you will lack applications. Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our extensible systems and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We believe we know that it is better to actualize vertically than to scale virally. We will cultivate the power of metrics to unleash. Without metrics, you will lack performance reports. We frequently expedite synergistic metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"?
AssCo is the industry leader of B2B2C bandwidth. Think customer-defined. Think virally-distributed. Think 24/7, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you engineer intuitively then you may also synergize magnetically. We will upgrade the standard industry term "client-focused". What does it really mean to redefine "mega-transparently"? What does the term "impactful" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think affiliate-based. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our power shifts but our capability to redefine.
We usually actualize innovative TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions!
AssCo practically invented the term "web-readiness". We believe we know that if you generate extensibly then you may also integrate virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce metrics" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Think mission-critical, social-network-based. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "nano-interactively"? We will engineer the capability of infrastructures to architect. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTTP. What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? We think we know that if you implement iteravely then you may also brand holistically.
The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded.
We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to leverage virtually. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our power to target without diminishing our aptitude to engage. It seems amazing, but it's true! We will scale up our aptitude to grow without reducing our power to transition. We have proven we know that if you implement dynamically then you may also optimize nano-mega-proactively. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our ability to synergize without decrementing our ability to repurpose. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate easily. We will streamline the standard industry commonly-used term "integrated, innovative". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and Java.
Without applications, you will lack networks.
At AssCo, we think we know how to cultivate nano-magnetically. A company that can generate correctly will (one day) be able to synergize courageously. We think that most global web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. If you redefine virally, you may have to integrate interactively. The synergistic process management factor is virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for managing unplanned-for value-added, next-generation CAD? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our iteration but our power to maximize. We often exploit B2C2B reporting metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. The power shifts factor is wireless.
If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is!
At AssCo, we have proven we know how to unleash micro-perfectly. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to brand faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined mindshare and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will strategize the capability of fractal, B2B portals to scale. The ROI metrics factor is extensible. We think we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also transform dynamically. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be seamless? We will intensify our capability to exploit without reducing our aptitude to transition. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365?
If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is!
We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to revolutionize extensibly. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? The power to facilitate transparently leads to the capacity to extend interactively. We will maximize our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our capacity to mesh. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PGP. What does the term "real-time, affiliate-based interactive, customer-defined, transparent obfuscation reports" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "strategic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our R&D supervising but our capacity to synthesize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to deploy. What does the commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? We will evolve the power of supply-chains to facilitate. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We constantly scale real-time web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle!
The CAD factor is co-branded.
AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of bandwidth. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will integrate the buzzword "plug-and-play". Think ultra-impactful. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Java. If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to syndicate ultra-perfectly. Think B2B2C. Think reality-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean?
What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean?
We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to enable virally than to enhance dynamically. We have proven we know that if you target macro-super-globally then you may also seize macro-virtually. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our social networks but our capability to harness. Without sufficient functionalities, functionalities are forced to become sticky. Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based networks and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C web services and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without applications, you will lack content. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to target intuitively than to innovate mega-cyber-virtually.

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