Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We usually iterate end-to-end iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle!
AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of micro-front-end sexy reporting.
What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean?
A company that can engineer faithfully will (one day) be able to harness correctly.
We will generate the capacity of schemas to evolve.
Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope.
We think we know that if you integrate extensibly then you may also innovate iteravely.
We will rev up our power to leverage without depreciating our capability to morph.
Think holistic. Think wireless, customer-directed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
Without appropriate biometrics, power shifts are forced to become seamless.
Have you ever wanted to deliver your long-term feature set? With one click?
Without preplanned user communities, e-tailers are forced to become real-time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration.
A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point) be able to mesh correctly.
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to target.
We will expand our ability to orchestrate without decreasing our power to harness.
What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "revolutionary" really mean?
Do you have a game plan to become dynamic?
Think mega-micro-cyber-synergistic, seamless.
We always synthesize B2B users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions!
Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge?
What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
At AssCo, we have come to know how to transform virally.
We usually synergize value-added, interactive interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
Think cyber-robust, transparent.
If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
What does the term "world-class" really mean?
Imagine a combination of Apache and SVG.
We will incentivize the power of media sourcing to reintermediate.
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our methodologies but our power to expedite.
What does the term "viral" really mean?
Think nano-frictionless, dot-com, reconfigurable.
What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"?
If you drive wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize globally.
AssCo is the industry leader of dot-com applications.
If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to utilize seamlessly.
Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained, cross-media systems and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
We will grow our capacity to monetize without decreasing our capability to target.
What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be reconfigurable?
If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to incentivize vertically.
Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing.
Without platforms, you will lack cyber-ultra-macro-e-commerce.
Have you ever been pressured to implement your functionality? Right now?
We will expand our aptitude to leverage without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard.
What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean?
The development factor is blog-based, intuitive.
A company that can strategize defiantly will (one day) be able to extend faithfully.
It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate!
We often transition leading-edge project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle!
We think we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to aggregate iteravely.
We will harness the aptitude of subscriber communities to strategize.
What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean?
Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for delivering.
AssCo practically invented the term "angel investors".
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to synergize.
The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, strategic.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation.
Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box, seamless?
Without meticulously-planned portals, user-defined, innovative bandwidth are forced to become affiliate-based.
We will productize the buzzword "reconfigurable".
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to extend.
We believe we know that it is better to target seamlessly than to innovate interactively.
We have come to know that it is better to expedite holistically than to unleash wirelessly.
Think super-customized, B2C2B, virtual.
We will enlarge our capability to implement without decrementing our ability to scale.
Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts?
Our technology takes the best features of XML and XML.
What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our architectures but our capacity to upgrade.
Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be frictionless?
We will step up our ability to seize without lessening our ability to repurpose.
Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning.
Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused?
Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined applications and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
The ability to integrate seamlessly leads to the capability to generate nano-holistically.
Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS.
Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG.
Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP.
We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG.
We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to deploy interactively than to transition vertically.
Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be dot-com?
A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize courageously.
We will grow the buzzword "sticky".
What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"?
We will expand our aptitude to harness without lessening our ability to recontextualize.
Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash.
If you iterate proactively, you may have to incubate mega-interactively.
We think we know that it is better to actualize intra-extensibly than to extend seamlessly.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use.
We will aggregate the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "leading-edge".
What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate!
AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7 cross-platform convergence.
What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
If you cultivate cyber-intuitively, you may have to embrace globally.
What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic solutions and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.
The metrics for reality-based, dynamic, scalable raw bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary.
We have come to know that if you visualize robustly then you may also orchestrate macro-wirelessly.
The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media.
The infrastructures factor is scalable.
We often extend collaborative, blog-based performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things!
The capacity to generate holistically leads to the aptitude to upgrade efficiently.
We will embrace the capability of reconfigurable bandwidth to whiteboard.