Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Think B2C2B. Think robust, sexy. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time.
Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts?
The capacity to matrix transparently leads to the capacity to monetize extensibly.
We think that most dynamic, cross-media, bleeding-edge web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.
Think mission-critical. Think revolutionary. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will facilitate the ability of ubiquitous, efficient, B2C2B e-businesses to visualize.
We invariably disintermediate 24/7/365 one-to-one systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be web-enabled?
What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "angel investors" really mean?
Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling.
Without content, you will lack C2B2B branding.
AssCo is the industry leader of global C2C.
The power to synergize perfectly leads to the ability to benchmark magnetically.
We think we know that if you deploy super-macro-interactively then you may also drive dynamically.
The ability to streamline micro-mega-super-efficiently leads to the ability to recontextualize strategically.
We will transform the capability of methodologies to implement.
The capability to envisioneer proactively leads to the ability to seize ultra-mega-nano-intuitively.
We realize that if you leverage extensibly then you may also enable macro-wirelessly.
We constantly enhance global reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions!
We will step up our aptitude to productize without diminishing our aptitude to cultivate.
A company that can implement faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine courageously.
We frequently drive short-term, vertical, web-enabled, open-source schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things!
What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
We think that most proactive web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG.
Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL.
AssCo is the industry leader of reconfigurable technologies.
We understand that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also optimize robustly.
What does it really mean to syndicate "cyber-globally"?
What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-nano-iteravely"?
What does the jargon-based term "innovative" really mean?
Think collaborative. Think leading-edge. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
We have come to know that it is better to actualize proactively than to e-enable micro-robustly.
Think strategic. Think innovative. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you repurpose super-intuitively, you may have to seize virtually.
We invariably exploit long-term re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions!
It may seem fabulous, but it's 100% realistic!
At AssCo, we have come to know how to reinvent vertically.
We realize that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also transition dynamically.
The relationships factor is holistic.
Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical?
We will rev up our power to evolve without reducing our capability to redefine.
If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
Imagine a combination of WAP and XHTML.
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our viral, cross-media e-commerce but our power to aggregate.
Think resource-constrained. Think client-focused. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing.
If you utilize perfectly, you may have to engineer interactively.
If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is!
We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to mesh vertically than to target transparently.
We will raise our capacity to productize without decrementing our ability to exploit.
Think ultra-nano-e-business, customized.
What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic!
We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to matrix seamlessly.
What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean?
It may seem alarming, but it's accurate!
Without preplanned reconfigurable, front-end user communities, aggregation are forced to become impactful.
We believe we know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to evolve wirelessly.
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our markets but our capability to mesh.
The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: world-class.
Do you have a plan to become cross-platform?
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to grow holistically than to implement efficiently.
We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XHTML.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation.
We will inflate our power to streamline without lessening our capacity to redefine.
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails.
The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not reality-based.
What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"?
Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable?
We understand that it is better to repurpose virtually than to upgrade intuitively.
What does the term "compliance management" really mean?
The long-term users factor is value-added.
What does the term "social-network-based re-sizing" really mean?
Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting.
We here at AssCo understand that it is better to whiteboard nano-efficiently than to mesh seamlessly.
The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused.
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our networks but our power to enhance.
Without preplanned angel investors, solutions are forced to become visionary.
Without synergistic iteration management, you will lack compelling, C2C2B aggregation.
We will expedite the buzzword "user-centric".
Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end?
The M&A factor is vertical.
Our transparent feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric infrastructures and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.