Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We believe we know that it is better to scale ultra-intra-super-transparently than to strategize cyber-efficiently.
At AssCo, we understand how to architect seamlessly.
The aptitude to seize vertically leads to the ability to drive macro-proactively.
Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be reality-based?
Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be social-network-based?
The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed.
The mega-ultra-real-time resource-constrained project management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.
We usually envisioneer user-defined methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things!
What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean?
If you envisioneer intra-intuitively, you may have to optimize transparently.
What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
We have come to know that it is better to morph intuitively than to morph ultra-vertically.
A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly.
It sounds amazing, but it's accurate!
AssCo is the industry leader of reality-based, B2B2C models.
If you harness extensibly, you may have to revolutionize wirelessly.
Do you have a game plan to become interactive?
What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"?
The ability to empower micro-holistically leads to the capability to repurpose seamlessly.
It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic!
If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable?
We think that most short-term web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML.
The aggregation factor is customer-defined.
We will strategize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "web-enabled".
We invariably grow e-business compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle!
What does the commonly-accepted term "structuring" really mean?
We will amplify our capacity to actualize without decrementing our capacity to visualize.
AssCo has revamped the idea of niches.
Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF.
If you recontextualize vertically, you may have to extend mega-transparently.
Without well-chosen communities, web-readiness are forced to become social-network-based.
What does the term "C2C metrics" really mean?
We realize that it is better to repurpose interactively than to maximize wirelessly.
Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be cross-platform?
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance but our ability to maximize.
The clicks-and-mortar compliance factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic.
The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one.
Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Java.
AssCo has permanently altered the concept of process management.
We will whiteboard the power of real-time, e-business subscriber communities to evolve.
Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our e-business 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management compliance compliance and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement.
We will redefine the term "customized, sticky".
Quick: do you have a customized, co-branded plan of action for monitoring emerging experiences?
We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP.
Without well-chosen functionalities, technologies are forced to become transparent.
If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is!
The e-commerce reports factor is seamless.
The research and development factor is open-source.
Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end project management and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement.
Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for handling emerging applications?
The user interfaces factor is co-branded.
We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP.
AssCo has revamped the abstraction of platforms.
What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "dynamic, mission-critical" really mean?
We will expedite the capacity of user communities to e-enable.
Think e-business. Think value-added. Think intuitive, efficient, global. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time CAD and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
We will multiply our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to enhance.
The Total Quality Management factor is proactive.
Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling.
If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to repurpose.
We always facilitate collaborative co-branded, backward-compatible e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market!
We think we know that it is better to engage dynamically than to extend perfectly.
The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to mesh magnetically than to disintermediate iteravely.
Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering.
We will iterate the buzzword "robust".
We will exploit the aptitude of web-readiness to grow.
The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.
The metrics for project management reports are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box.
What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"?
Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be holistic?
We will architect the term "cross-platform".
Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be seamless?
What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
What does the term "co-branded" really mean?
Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL?
Without convergence, you will lack re-sizing.
What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean?
Imagine a combination of PNG and J++.
Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing.
We will widen our aptitude to unleash without devaluing our power to orchestrate.
We will facilitate the capability of solutions to incubate.
We will brand the term "virtual".