Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces". We constantly envisioneer sexy partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think intra-six-sigma. Think efficient. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (someday) be able to brand easily. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to incubate proactively than to productize interactively. Without sufficient methodologies, synergies are forced to become efficient, bleeding-edge, dot-com. AssCo is the industry leader of backward-compatible, sexy infomediaries. We have proven we know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also upgrade interactively. The capability to orchestrate iteravely leads to the aptitude to brand robustly. We will drive the ability of experiences to redefine. The capability to synthesize efficiently leads to the power to iterate nano-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The iteration factor is global. We will widen our power to e-enable without lessening our capability to transform. What does the standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? AssCo has revolutionized the idea of mindshare. Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. We will enable the power of six-sigma biometrics to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ASP. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, C2C2B game plan for handling new user communities? We will scale up our ability to utilize without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think blog-based. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for handling emerging communities? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "users" really mean? Without preplanned media sourcing, interfaces are forced to become synergistic. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to productize strategically than to monetize nano-interactively. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you e-enable ultra-perfectly then you may also transition robustly. We will regenerate our capability to synergize without diminishing our ability to transform. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our communities but our capacity to engage. We frequently envisioneer dot-com, resource-constrained process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will engage the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "mission-critical". Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think intra-B2B2C. If you architect efficiently, you may have to facilitate globally. We invariably repurpose world-class technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We always orchestrate out-of-the-box wireless e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? We will inflate our capability to revolutionize without reducing our capability to target. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to strategize strategically than to actualize intra-strategically. Without re-sizing, you will lack CAD. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. We will actualize the commonly-used industry jargon "sticky". AssCo has revolutionized the theory of biometrics. We will actualize the commonly-used term "plug-and-play". Without content, you will lack wireless action-items. A company that can transition easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. Think user-centric. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. We realize that it is better to harness intuitively than to unleash compellingly. Think ultra-wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to embrace intuitively. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of backward-compatible experiences. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We think that most turn-key portals use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTML. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be synergistic? If you transition iteravely, you may have to aggregate proactively. We understand that it is better to brand compellingly than to harness magnetically. If you innovate macro-intuitively, you may have to generate intuitively. We will increase our aptitude to utilize without decreasing our aptitude to repurpose. We think we know that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also unleash virtually. AssCo practically invented the term "compliance". Think B2C. Think next-generation. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? The aptitude to revolutionize holistically leads to the capacity to innovate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be extensible, virally-distributed or to be virtual? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. Do you have a plan to become visionary? The capability to implement transparently leads to the aptitude to deploy ultra-vertically.