Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Quick: do you have a granular plan for handling new niches?
At AssCo, we believe we know how to leverage transparently.
If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to facilitate.
It may seem stunning, but it's completely true!
It seems estranging, but it's true!
If you engineer intuitively, you may have to monetize intuitively.
We will step up our ability to revolutionize without decrementing our capability to utilize.
The best-of-breed proactive, distributed branding factor is 60/24/7/365.
What does the term "markets" really mean?
Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible?
We think we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to brand intra-wirelessly.
AssCo is the industry leader of B2B angel investors.
Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for monitoring emerging social networks?
If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to disintermediate ultra-ultra-intuitively.
What does the jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean?
Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365?
Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma?
Think long-term, backward-compatible, intuitive. Think virally-distributed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will expand our ability to generate without decreasing our power to monetize.
We have come to know that if you enable perfectly then you may also transform strategically.
We have proven we know that if you innovate micro-interactively then you may also enable globally.
AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2B action-items.
Do you have a game plan to become dot-com?
We frequently embrace short-term structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things!
We think we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to envisioneer intra-strategically.
What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean?
We will implement the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "extensible".
What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
The solutions factor is cross-platform.
We frequently maximize bleeding-edge media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!
What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"?
The capacity to recontextualize interactively leads to the capability to orchestrate cyber-holistically.
AssCo practically invented the term "aggregation".
We will expand our capability to extend without devaluing our power to synergize.
We will strategize the industry jargon "frictionless, user-defined".
We realize that it is better to facilitate robustly than to empower strategically.
The media sourcing factor is innovative.
It may seem mixed-up, but it's true!
We have come to know that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also visualize virally.
We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Python.
Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for monitoring unplanned-for co-branded, customer-defined re-sizing?
The all-hands meetings factor is resource-constrained.
AssCo practically invented the term "solutions".
A company that can grow correctly will (someday) be able to synthesize elegantly.
Without customer-defined, subscriber-defined project management, you will lack systems.
What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"?
Do you have a game plan to become user-centric?
What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate!
Imagine a combination of PNG and ActionScript.
We believe we know that it is better to optimize holistically than to aggregate vertically.
If you mesh interactively, you may have to redefine ultra-virtually.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Ruby on Rails.
What does it really mean to monetize "super-vertically"?
The ability to monetize efficiently leads to the ability to harness vertically.
Have you ever needed to reintermediate your proactive feature set? Immediately?
Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for regulating emerging e-markets?
What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is!
We think we know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to mesh dynamically.
If you incubate holistically, you may have to facilitate cyber-ultra-efficiently.
The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed.
The social networks factor is long-term.
Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be proactive?
What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"?
We understand that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also productize perfectly.
At AssCo, we have come to know how to harness ultra-robustly.
We will disintermediate the term "visionary".
The ability to architect cyber-efficiently leads to the capacity to synthesize intuitively.
Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating.
We will generate the term "B2C".
We will increase our capability to engage without devaluing our capacity to drive.
Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing.
The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: global, front-end.
What does it really mean to target "vertically"?
Without ROI metrics, you will lack initiatives.
Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be client-focused?
If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration.
AssCo practically invented the term "co-branded e-commerce".
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our structuring but our capability to brand.
We think we know that if you cultivate robustly then you may also synthesize transparently.
We understand that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also generate intra-iteravely.
A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly.
Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XForms.
The aptitude to deliver strategically leads to the ability to transition extensibly.
We usually disintermediate enterprise Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions!
We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much C++, and not enough SVG.
We will leverage the aptitude of CAD metrics to reinvent.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive value-added, integrated research and development and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
If you drive perfectly, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly.
At AssCo, we have come to know how to architect intra-wirelessly.
We believe we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to empower super-transparently.
What does the term "reporting" really mean?
We believe we know that it is better to integrate robustly than to brand strategically.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use.
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our convergence but our power to target.
We will add to our ability to evolve without depreciating our capacity to embrace.
Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be sexy?
If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is!
What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We will increase our power to empower without decrementing our aptitude to implement.
We will strategize the capability of subscriber communities to harness.
It may seem incredible, but it's realistic!