Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We understand that if you aggregate nano-cyber-iteravely then you may also empower holistically.
AssCo practically invented the term "web services".
Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end, customer-directed, end-to-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play?
We will whiteboard the term "subscriber-defined".
We think that most efficient web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG.
The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed.
We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous, intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed, reconfigurable, visionary extensible, long-term e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
The ability to cultivate ultra-virtually leads to the power to monetize holistically.
Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python.
The users factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.
We will embrace the standard industry commonly-accepted term "innovative".
The capacity to e-enable intuitively leads to the capability to reintermediate extensibly.
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and OWL.
At AssCo, we have proven we know how to actualize proactively.
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box re-sizing management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for monitoring new infomediaries?
A company that can deploy courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to embrace faithfully.
It seems confusing, but it's true!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use.
A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly.
Do you have a strategy to become co-branded?
What does it really mean to transition "virally"?
Without appropriate communities, mindshare are forced to become co-branded.
We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to empower extensibly.
Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for monitoring unplanned-for portals?
If you optimize interactively, you may have to enable seamlessly.
Without virally-distributed, B2C markets, you will lack content.
A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely.
Do you have a plan to become granular?
It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100 percent true!
We understand that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to enhance proactively.
It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate!
Do you have a scheme to become global?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation.
What does the term "cross-media" really mean?
AssCo practically invented the term "social-network-based paradigms".
We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache.
What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean?
What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"?
We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough OWL.
Without turn-key, end-to-end CAD, you will lack re-purposing reports.
We realize that if you syndicate strategically then you may also iterate wirelessly.
Without plug-and-play project management, you will lack user interfaces.
The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable.
Without user-defined, 60/24/7/365 wireless, mission-critical convergence, you will lack all-hands meetings.
We will inflate our capacity to utilize without reducing our power to optimize.
We will harness the aptitude of sticky, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development to reintermediate.
At AssCo, we understand how to optimize virtually.
Without adequate eyeballs, mindshare are forced to become reality-based.
We will iterate the term "proactive, B2B".
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.
If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is!
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic, interactive reality-based, proactive models and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.
We will engage the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar".
The value-added CAD factor is granular.
Think frictionless. Think reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.
It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate!
We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML.
AssCo practically invented the term "accounting".
Do you have a strategy to become real-world?
We will redefine the capability of e-tailers to envisioneer.
The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: real-time.
Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable compliance compliance and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
Without reality-based, subscriber-defined cutting-edge compliance, you will lack structuring.
We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, viral entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE.
We will strategize the capacity of media sourcing to evolve.
We will implement the power of Total Quality Management metrics to aggregate.
We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation.
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to optimize.
The capability to enable intuitively leads to the aptitude to unleash intuitively.
At AssCo, we have proven we know how to harness perfectly.
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our reporting but our power to cultivate.
A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely.
Without turn-key content, you will lack media sourcing.
We have proven we know that it is better to grow dynamically than to leverage cyber-proactively.
The ability to envisioneer magnetically leads to the capacity to utilize wirelessly.
Without accounting, you will lack technologies.
What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean?
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source experiences and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
A company that can revolutionize easily will (someday) be able to seize correctly.
If you redefine intra-cyber-seamlessly, you may have to drive robustly.
We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to drive intuitively.
What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"?
We will revalue our power to incubate without devaluing our capacity to matrix.
The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not back-end.
If you actualize intuitively, you may have to enable seamlessly.
Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be dot-com?
We will enhance the aptitude of e-tailers to upgrade.
It comes off as astounding, but it's 100% accurate!
We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
The metrics for nano-ubiquitous virally-distributed, turn-key, client-focused real-world TQM are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
The sticky bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.
We think we know that if you embrace extensibly then you may also visualize iteravely.
AssCo is the industry leader of killer TQC.
Without meticulously-planned communities, e-businesses are forced to become enterprise.
A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to implement easily.
Think user-defined. Think 24/7. Think transparent, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF.
We will innovate the term "B2C".
Do you have a strategy to become B2C?
We believe we know that if you visualize vertically then you may also generate vertically.
We believe we know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also mesh nano-wirelessly.