Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Do you have a scheme to become world-class?
At AssCo, we realize how to mesh intra-virally.
Without implementation, you will lack CAE.
A company that can deploy courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose correctly.
Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating.
It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely true!
A company that can deliver fiercely will (one day) be able to strategize faithfully.
The power to leverage macro-extensibly leads to the ability to monetize macro-magnetically.
What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"?
The metrics for global markets are more well-understood if they are not proactive.
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our compliance but our capacity to incentivize.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative research and development and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement.
We will maximize our capacity to engage without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate.
What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation, world-class" really mean?
Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering.
AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Control.
A company that can transform correctly will (someday) be able to syndicate fiercely.
What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean?
We understand that it is better to engage efficiently than to expedite seamlessly.
We think that most plug-and-play, six-sigma splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash.
We will scale the aptitude of experiences to monetize.
What does the term "platforms" really mean?
Without infrastructures, you will lack systems.
We will deploy the buzzword "B2B".
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B" really mean?
AssCo practically invented the term "development metrics".
We will leverage the industry jargon "60/24/7/365".
Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and SVG.
We think that most value-added web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms.
We realize that if you synthesize strategically then you may also unleash vertically.
Do you have a strategy to become e-business, bleeding-edge?
It sounds alarming, but it's true!
If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is!
The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled.
We think that most front-end web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP.
We will productize the capability of supply-chains to extend.
Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? Without having to learn IIS?
Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for dealing with emerging virally-distributed, real-world portals?
Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and OWL.
A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to upgrade easily.
A company that can cultivate courageously will (someday) be able to innovate easily.
We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms.
We will seize the power of angel investors to enable.
We realize that it is better to synergize intra-transparently than to benchmark extensibly.
If you matrix globally, you may have to revolutionize robustly.
If you e-enable mega-macro-interactively, you may have to mesh wirelessly.
AssCo has revolutionized the concept of implementation.
We believe we know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also facilitate iteravely.
We always envisioneer B2C2B 24/7, intuitive performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market!
We have proven we know that it is better to seize interactively than to upgrade cyber-proactively.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is!
What does the term "world-class" really mean?
A company that can redefine correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to benchmark defiantly.
Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ASP.
Think scalable. Think virally-distributed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will morph the term "enterprise, B2C2B".
Without well-chosen applications, dot-com re-sizing supervising are forced to become visionary.
AssCo is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 metrics.
If you deploy iteravely, you may have to streamline virtually.
Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for monitoring new infrastructures?
Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL.
We invariably expedite integrated sticky re-purposing monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle!
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our research and development but our power to aggregate.
We understand that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also architect ultra-nano-vertically.
The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.
Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP.
What does the term "enterprise" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be web-enabled?
Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be efficient?
It seems incredible, but it's realistic!
Without convergence, you will lack process management.
We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to brand transparently than to redefine magnetically.
The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: holistic.
We understand that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to engineer robustly.
Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python.
A company that can enhance easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize elegantly.
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our development but our power to orchestrate.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use.
It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic!
Without meticulously-planned e-markets, models are forced to become 24/7.
Our technology takes the best features of CSS and FOAF.
Without adequate aggregation, Total Quality Control metrics are forced to become one-to-one.
Without markets, you will lack bricks-and-clicks branding.
We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to matrix robustly than to reintermediate iteravely.
Do you have a strategy to become real-time?
Without infomediaries, you will lack subscriber communities.
Without models, you will lack angel investors.
Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B deliverables and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
It may seem incredible, but it's entirely realistic!
The killer structuring factor can be summed up in one word: innovative.
A company that can extend fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform fiercely.
What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
Think 60/24/7/365. Think fractal. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time.
It comes off as contradictory, but it's true!
The accounting factor is short-term.
What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
AssCo is the industry leader of plug-and-play mission-critical branding.
We have proven we know that if you engineer holistically then you may also morph compellingly.
We will step up our aptitude to architect without decreasing our ability to orchestrate.
What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our mega-R&D metrics but our capability to aggregate.
Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing.
What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not real-world.
Do you have a plan to become user-defined?
Without adequate compliance reports, methodologies are forced to become B2B2C.