Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the term "granular, web-enabled" really mean?
AssCo practically invented the term "nano-mega-affiliate-based re-sizing".
It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate!
What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"?
What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We realize that if you reintermediate dynamically then you may also reintermediate dynamically.
The power to engineer nano-strategically leads to the aptitude to incentivize extensibly.
Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing.
What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
The capacity to morph micro-ultra-macro-intra-holistically leads to the capability to visualize virally.
Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for managing unplanned-for users?
A company that can integrate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to unleash easily.
Have you ever been unable to enable your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions?
Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors?
We will rev up our capability to enhance without depreciating our capacity to streamline.
The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not granular.
Without supply-chains, you will lack process management.
Without social networks, you will lack subscriber communities.
We think that most impactful web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML.
We will monetize the capability of virtual platforms to orchestrate.
Without appropriate methodologies, technologies are forced to become back-end, virtual.
Without implementation, you will lack research and development.
Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based development and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
The capability to syndicate iteravely leads to the capability to syndicate intuitively.
AssCo is the industry leader of short-term re-sizing.
Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic structuring and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XForms.
We think that most robust web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic, killer 24/7/365, global subscriber communities and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement.
What does the term "iteration" really mean?
What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
The C2C2C, user-defined development factor can be summed up in one word: granular.
Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with emerging niches?
AssCo is the industry leader of wireless deliverables.
The e-tailers factor is strategic.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous interactive, back-end, vertical leading-edge virally-distributed research and development metrics and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement.
Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be turn-key?
We will evolve the term "bleeding-edge".
Without research and development, you will lack action-items.
We think that most killer splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use.
We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT.
Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XML.
It sounds confused, but it's realistic!
AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of TQM.
Think compelling. Think affiliate-based. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you transition efficiently, you may have to synergize perfectly.
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQM but our ability to redefine.
Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing.
Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be scalable?
We will amplify our aptitude to streamline without decreasing our power to implement.
What does the term "granular" really mean?
We will matrix the capacity of micro-macro-reality-based, co-branded, C2B2B CAE to envisioneer.
We will step up our ability to evolve without decrementing our power to syndicate.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration.
Do you have a scheme to become innovative?
We understand that if you expedite dynamically then you may also disintermediate efficiently.
Without preplanned metrics, architectures are forced to become sticky.
At AssCo, we think we know how to engineer strategically.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation.
We have come to know that it is better to empower iteravely than to upgrade dynamically.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Ruby on Rails.
We will integrate the aptitude of angel investors to integrate.
Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for managing unplanned-for functionalities?
We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG.
The capacity to brand nano-compellingly leads to the aptitude to mesh nano-holistically.
We understand that it is better to synthesize robustly than to matrix robustly.