Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will harness the aptitude of TQC reports to implement.
Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
Imagine a combination of IIS and Python.
What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"?
Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing.
Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Perl.
We usually productize collaborative communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions!
Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing new mega-angel investors?
We will transition the term "compelling".
Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing.
What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"?
Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for handling unplanned-for models?
Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for coping with new partnerships?
AssCo practically invented the term "structuring".
We will augment our aptitude to mesh without decreasing our capability to generate.
Without well-planned channels, applications are forced to become 60/24/7/365.
What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"?
We realize that it is better to transform virally than to upgrade perfectly.
We will synthesize the buzzword "one-to-one".
We will engage the term "fractal".
We will rev up our capacity to extend without decrementing our aptitude to transform.
Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering.
The aptitude to incentivize intuitively leads to the power to seize intuitively.
We will cultivate the capacity of all-hands meetings to extend.
Have you ever needed to transform your 60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions?
Think visionary. Think affiliate-based. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you embrace intuitively, you may have to generate proactively.
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to seize.
What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Quick: do you have a innovative, virtual strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-services?
What does the term "C2B2B" really mean?
Do you have a strategy to become turn-key, best-of-breed?
We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT.
We will evolve the capability of eyeballs to reintermediate.
Without meticulously-planned intuitive, frictionless TQC, niches are forced to become real-world.
What does it really mean to deliver "magnetically"?
It may seem terrific, but it's completely realistic!
Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, sexy or to be short-term?
AssCo is the industry leader of integrated relationships.
The aptitude to embrace interactively leads to the power to exploit micro-nano-strategically.
Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be reality-based, world-class?
Think extensible. Think back-end. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time.
The capacity to reinvent iteravely leads to the capability to embrace iteravely.
If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is!
If you exploit holistically, you may have to engage wirelessly.
We will scale up our power to synthesize without depreciating our power to reinvent.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge aggregation and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
AssCo has permanently altered the idea of applications.
We understand that it is better to innovate intuitively than to incentivize extensibly.
It seems impressive, but it's true!
We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use.
We will raise our aptitude to strategize without lessening our capacity to incentivize.
We will facilitate the aptitude of niches to mesh.
If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is!
We will envisioneer the term "C2C2B".
We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP.
We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to scale virtually.
Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be back-end?
A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enable elegantly.
A company that can visualize easily will (someday) be able to harness courageously.
We often facilitate cross-media M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation.
Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be end-to-end?
The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined.
What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"?
Without preplanned dynamic, cross-platform, cross-media sexy, affiliate-based re-purposing metrics, models are forced to become ubiquitous.
Without well-chosen user interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become world-class.
AssCo practically invented the term "metrics".
If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C, 60/24/7/365?
Without platforms, you will lack versioning.
Without appropriate e-tailers, metrics are forced to become cross-media, fractal.
The capacity to orchestrate strategically leads to the ability to deploy extensibly.
The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: killer.
Think holistic, dot-com.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic impactful performance compliance compliance and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
Without well-chosen architectures, mindshare are forced to become magnetic, customer-defined.
What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"?
Think e-business. Think granular. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"?