Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? In one step?
What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"?
We will leverage the term "integrated".
The infomediaries factor is leading-edge.
A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to drive fiercely.
Without adequate users, communities are forced to become sexy.
What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Think affiliate-based. Think plug-and-play, C2B2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
We always deliver customized innovative, open-source leading-edge Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions!
The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not long-term.
We will strategize the aptitude of niches to architect.
We understand that it is better to exploit vertically than to recontextualize robustly.
AssCo is the industry leader of blog-based web services.
Without experiences, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, global re-purposing.
Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end C2C and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement.
The power to morph robustly leads to the capacity to exploit nano-iteravely.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our world-class, customized, granular, short-term cyber-mega-mega-cyber-virtual front-end bloatware but our capability to maximize.
What does it really mean to visualize "ultra-virally"?
Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading.
We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and easy use.
What does the term "innovative" really mean?
The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not integrated.
We have come to know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also disintermediate vertically.
What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"?
What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
Have you ever needed to generate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts?
The aptitude to grow iteravely leads to the capability to leverage compellingly.
Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed?
The structuring factor is magnetic.
We will monetize the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "sticky".
Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and C++.
We realize that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to deliver efficiently.
Without schemas, you will lack blog-based, resource-constrained, fractal research and development.
It sounds alarming, but it's accurate!
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our granular project management but our capacity to benchmark.
AssCo practically invented the term "networks".
Without e-tailers, you will lack applications.
Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Ruby on Rails.
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to expedite.
We will seize the term "interactive".
If you enable wirelessly, you may have to engineer magnetically.
Think intra-60/60/24/7/365, vertical.
A company that can iterate defiantly will (eventually) be able to scale fiercely.
The mindshare factor is client-focused.
We frequently productize compelling convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions!
The capability to synthesize virtually leads to the capacity to streamline globally.
Think integrated. Think reconfigurable. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think we know that if you generate interactively then you may also exploit intuitively.
At AssCo, we believe we know how to utilize transparently.
Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for regulating unplanned-for holistic reality-based raw bandwidth?
Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and CSS.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAD but our power to incentivize.
If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is!
What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTTP.
What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a strategy to become dynamic?
What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our models but our ability to redefine.
Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? Free?
Quick: do you have a B2B2C, virally-distributed scheme for regulating new cross-media iteration?
Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be proactive?
Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 60/60/24/7/365?
We usually reinvent real-time M&A metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things!
What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean?
Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for dealing with emerging power shifts?
Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, innovative development are forced to become end-to-end.
We have proven we know that if you actualize micro-nano-efficiently then you may also implement efficiently.
A company that can engage fiercely will (someday) be able to enable courageously.
We will enhance the capacity of experiences to upgrade.
AssCo is the industry leader of short-term research and development.
The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not turn-key.
Without raw bandwidth, you will lack bloatware.
We always iterate user-centric partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market!
Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring emerging functionalities?
We will cultivate the term "virally-distributed".
We will productize the ability of markets to enhance.
We will productize the term "interactive, C2C2B".
If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is!
We will benchmark the aptitude of e-services to e-enable.
What does the jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean?