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Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Company Name: 

Your Randomly-Generated Corporate Gibberish:


Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for managing emerging user interfaces?
We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to extend magnetically than to reintermediate globally. Without open-source, virtual scalable TQC, you will lack re-sizing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our extensible, infinitely reconfigurable, six-sigma e-businesses and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for handling emerging partnerships? Without eyeballs, you will lack iteration. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and DOM. The ability to incentivize vertically leads to the ability to incentivize virtually. Think super-B2C. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think vertical. Think magnetic.
We will redefine the term "co-branded".
At AssCo, we have proven we know how to recontextualize seamlessly. Without preplanned functionalities, portals are forced to become robust. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our reconfigurable, leading-edge content but our capacity to utilize. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you empower transparently then you may also visualize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If you scale magnetically, you may have to incubate virtually. Think micro-user-defined. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML.
Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for managing emerging ROI metrics?
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to redefine intuitively than to synthesize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our research and development but our power to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be killer? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Without bloatware, you will lack obfuscation. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. We will brand the power of action-items to upgrade. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for streamlining.
Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Apache.
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to utilize super-interactively than to revolutionize dynamically. The technologies factor is killer. Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be co-branded, customer-defined? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Think back-end. Think micro-ubiquitous. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think virally-distributed. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean?
We will iterate the term "integrated".
AssCo has revamped the idea of B2B2C Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our R&D but our capacity to engineer. We will facilitate the term "sexy". We have come to know that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also enhance robustly. We will synthesize the capability of e-tailers to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without well-planned eyeballs, deliverables are forced to become impactful. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, turn-key implementation are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will engineer the aptitude of subscriber communities to brand.
The ability to drive extensibly leads to the power to deliver perfectly.
AssCo practically invented the term "innovative M&A". What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without appropriate synergies, six-sigma infomediaries are forced to become C2C2C. We will grow the capability of mindshare to incubate. We frequently mesh enterprise six-sigma, user-defined TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? Our functionality is unmatched, but our scalable re-sizing and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can actualize faithfully will (someday) be able to expedite correctly. What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of WAP and PGP.

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