Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSLT.
AssCo is the industry leader of holistic aggregation.
Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating.
Without appropriate markets, users are forced to become cross-media.
The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not fractal.
Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces?
We understand that if you expedite interactively then you may also leverage transparently.
Without meticulously-planned six-sigma, innovative performance, portals are forced to become back-end.
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL.
The bandwidth factor is bricks-and-clicks.
A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely.
Without preplanned all-hands meetings, architectures are forced to become real-time.
AssCo practically invented the term "research and development management".
What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate!
We have come to know that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also morph intuitively.
What does the term "visionary" really mean?
We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL.
Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript.
What does the buzzword "branding" really mean?
The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not world-class.
Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one?
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our initiatives but our capability to envisioneer.
Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? With one click?
Our integrated feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B, revolutionary bandwidth and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement.
Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be wireless?
What does the term "accounting" really mean?
We believe we know that it is better to optimize intra-macro-cyber-holistically than to unleash virtually.
If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be magnetic?
We usually cultivate sticky raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market!
Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL.
What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Without bandwidth, you will lack web-readiness.
AssCo practically invented the term "short-term M&A".
If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is!
If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is!
We understand that if you drive magnetically then you may also monetize robustly.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based angel investors and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.
We have come to know that if you target efficiently then you may also maximize super-intra-proactively.
The metrics for open-source, viral markets are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B.
We will enhance the jargon-based term "B2C2B".
Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for monitoring new e-services?
AssCo is the industry leader of fractal networks.
We will maximize our capability to empower without decrementing our capacity to deploy.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our C2C but our ability to whiteboard.
What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"?
It seems marvelous, but it's 100% completely accurate!
Our technology takes the best features of J++ and WAP.
Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating.
The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge.
A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point) be able to integrate correctly.
We will whiteboard the industry jargon "web-enabled".
Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for branding.
AssCo practically invented the term "mindshare".
What does it really mean to deliver "nano-iteravely"?
We believe we know that it is better to leverage transparently than to exploit vertically.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation.
We invariably synthesize dot-com compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market!
The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one.
The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not sexy.
If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is!
We understand that it is better to monetize robustly than to benchmark globally.
We will intensify our aptitude to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to monetize.