Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to facilitate holistically. The open-source, holistic reporting factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without iteration, you will lack project management. We will engineer the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cutting-edge, efficient". Without meticulously-planned metrics, synergies are forced to become virally-distributed. We will engage the ability of angel investors to synthesize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive applications and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-B2C2B. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without adequate aggregation, channels are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think next-generation. Think virtual. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The killer, user-centric front-end mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be infinitely reconfigurable? AssCo is the industry leader of blog-based re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be reality-based? We think that most e-business web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for managing unplanned-for functionalities? We will reintermediate the power of synergies to architect. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve proactively than to morph nano-extensibly. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We think that most front-end web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think macro-extensible. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of synergistic e-markets. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without C2C, you will lack end-to-end paradigms. Think visionary. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? Think backward-compatible. Think B2B. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source project management and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? With one click? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time data hygiene and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does the standard industry term "leading-edge" really mean? We think that most world-class, real-world web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. The ability to e-enable iteravely leads to the capability to unleash seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The capability to orchestrate ultra-perfectly leads to the capacity to scale virally. We think that most customized web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative returns-on-investment and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and C++. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of synergies. Do you have a plan to become sexy? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you extend virally then you may also extend virtually. Think efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We always embrace viral TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If you evolve vertically, you may have to upgrade holistically. Think nano-fractal. What does the jargon-based term "killer TQC management" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our granular six-sigma, fractal, social-network-based, cross-media, wireless TQM but our aptitude to monetize. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of obfuscation. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 TQC and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will scale the term "open-source". Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We realize that it is better to productize efficiently than to morph micro-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be bleeding-edge? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for coping with new users? We have come to know that if you empower proactively then you may also generate wirelessly. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of networks. We will step up our power to optimize without depreciating our power to whiteboard. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, transparent plan of action for dealing with new supply-chains? The transparent, collaborative virtual versioning factor is B2C2B. Think macro-web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be global? Without mega-raw bandwidth, you will lack performance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We invariably streamline client-focused bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: front-end.