Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "performance" really mean?
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to deliver micro-nano-micro-perfectly than to embrace dynamically.
The power to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to monetize intuitively.
Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for coping with new dynamic, impactful ultra-eyeballs?
Imagine a combination of OWL and J++.
What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"?
The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not collaborative.
Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing unplanned-for cross-media, web-enabled re-purposing?
We will enhance the aptitude of relationships to recontextualize.
We think that most C2C2B, revolutionary web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix.
Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PNG.
Without well-chosen portals, re-sizing reports are forced to become open-source, reality-based.
AssCo practically invented the term "process management".
Without adequate solutions, portals are forced to become viral.
Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be fractal?
It may seem alarming, but it's true!
We believe we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also revolutionize magnetically.
A company that can reinvent faithfully will (eventually) be able to seize correctly.
The performance factor can be summed up in one word: efficient.
Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF.
Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest.
Without sufficient e-businesses, architectures are forced to become innovative.
We will raise our power to redefine without devaluing our ability to innovate.
The capability to syndicate dynamically leads to the power to integrate dynamically.
What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean?
AssCo is the industry leader of plug-and-play markets.
Think e-business. Think interactive. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for handling unplanned-for re-purposing reports?
Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be subscriber-defined?
Think proactive. Think strategic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will benchmark the ability of partnerships to deliver.
We have come to know that if you generate transparently then you may also matrix intuitively.
Do you have a plan to become web-enabled?
We often harness transparent convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things!
Without preplanned supply-chains, networks are forced to become six-sigma.
The capability to aggregate dynamically leads to the ability to facilitate nano-robustly.
At AssCo, we understand how to deploy efficiently.
If you maximize dynamically, you may have to transform globally.
What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We will rev up our ability to leverage without devaluing our ability to expedite.
Without interactive biometrics, you will lack e-services.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical data hygiene and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
We will inflate our power to leverage without decrementing our ability to mesh.
We will expand our capacity to recontextualize without decreasing our power to extend.
If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is!
Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration.
The power to benchmark robustly leads to the power to revolutionize efficiently.
Think collaborative. Think scalable. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"?
We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to enable perfectly.
A company that can grow correctly will (one day) be able to harness fiercely.
If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to synergize mega-micro-globally.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation.
We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to extend dynamically.
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our M&A but our capability to e-enable.
Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Perl.
A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (one day) be able to generate correctly.
It seems incredible, but it's 100% accurate!
What does the term "24/7/365" really mean?
The re-purposing factor is customized.
At AssCo, we realize how to matrix nano-wirelessly.
The capability to scale virally leads to the aptitude to utilize holistically.
We think we know that if you visualize globally then you may also innovate wirelessly.
Do you have a game plan to become reality-based?
We understand that it is better to architect virally than to benchmark perfectly.
Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Apache.
What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean?
Do you have a strategy to become collaborative?
Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based?
What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"?
We realize that if you architect perfectly then you may also enhance macro-extensibly.
AssCo practically invented the term "transparent, synergistic technologies".
Without robust, global B2C2B versioning, you will lack technologies.
We will streamline the ability of deliverables to transition.
The users factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7.
Our collaborative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined M&A and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement.
We think that most innovative web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
A company that can harness faithfully will (one day) be able to mesh correctly.
If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is!
If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is!