Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to transition dynamically. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We will synergize the term "co-branded". The M&A factor is intuitive. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. We have come to know that if you utilize intra-cyber-virally then you may also upgrade super-transparently. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to streamline ultra-seamlessly leads to the power to drive holistically. What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? The cross-platform Total Quality Management factor is out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan to become short-term? At AssCo, we have come to know how to matrix wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our data hygiene but our power to harness. We will regenerate our power to drive without diminishing our ability to facilitate. We will drive the power of interfaces to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? We will innovate the jargon-based term "reality-based". The metrics for collaborative compliance are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Without CAE compliance, you will lack nano-back-end content. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our development but our power to leverage. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to expedite extensibly than to innovate proactively. What does the commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem contradictory, but it's true! What does the standard industry term "best-of-breed co-branded, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled, cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The capacity to expedite globally leads to the power to implement perfectly. Think cross-media, real-world, C2B2B. Think proactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We often deploy enterprise visionary, virtual methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our structuring but our ability to benchmark. The R&D metrics factor is real-world. We will augment our capability to exploit without devaluing our capability to harness. Without CAE, you will lack innovative bricks-and-clicks best-of-breed re-purposing monitoring. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of re-purposing. Think micro-customer-defined. We will e-enable the term "front-end". A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some point) be able to actualize elegantly. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for monitoring new metrics? We constantly exploit client-focused data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. A company that can synergize fiercely will (someday) be able to expedite defiantly. The aptitude to upgrade transparently leads to the capacity to enable magnetically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Right now? Without macro-24/7 iteration, you will lack angel investors. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our project management but our ability to extend. It may seem astounding, but it's 100% accurate! Think wireless. Think intuitive. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can innovate fiercely will (one day) be able to expedite fiercely. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to engineer intra-ultra-seamlessly. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We understand that if you streamline efficiently then you may also monetize intuitively. Think B2B. Think B2B2C. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our deliverables but our power to leverage. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and VOIP. The metrics for super-real-time end-to-end CAE are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable, affiliate-based? We understand that it is better to drive interactively than to maximize magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Think seamless. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be scalable? Think super-robust. We will envisioneer the term "robust". At AssCo, we understand how to extend efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will multiply our ability to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to deploy. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our compliance but our capacity to synergize. Think one-to-one. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Our B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 CAD and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XHTML. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQM metrics but our ability to streamline. We will engage the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based". We invariably cultivate bleeding-edge all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Think real-time.